Monday Night Raw #1319, September 3, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I made it plain the jump… I NEVER CARED ABOUT ALL IN. But I have to give props where props is due. Cody Rhodes – YOU ARE THE MAN OK! I never watched your sh1t… but I heard your sh!t was off the hook. You have a wrestling future my friend. (Well you’re not really my friend… but your wife… I WANNA GET FRIENDLY WITH HER!!!)

GRANT BODY-P!

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REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like… Machine Gun Kelly. When Kevin Owens powerbombed him through the stage it must have malfunctioned his brain in the process…He dissed Eminem??? Best dig that grave… can’t say I’ll miss him though…

SHUT THE F**K UP AND GET IN THE BOX!!!

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RAW 1319! So why didn’t you watch ALL IN Grant? (I was at the GZA concert… Wu-Tang wins over pro wrestling ALL DAY!)

Before I go IN… remind me to pay for my WWE Network y’all… I need to see this… my moms favourite McMahon… just like her husband – she was SO TEEEEEEEEEF but my god I respect her big time… not to mention she sexy as f**k…

Stephanie all business

..and according to @_Aydenn_ on twitter, RAW was awful this week… he just came off watching ALL IN! He has no sympathy from me… or is he right???

Two things – they got Renee Young back on commentary! YES! And Chad Gable is killing the Ascension with suplexes! And not one muthaf***a is chanting SUUU-PLEX – CII-TY! Even Bobby Roode thought that was GLORIOUS! So the fans are the problem!

Alexa Blitch wants to Walk With Elias? So it’s not about Braun Strowman anymore? Urgh – DUTTY GYAL!!!!

Is Alexa really from Columbus Ohio? Irrelevant

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! THANK YOU RONDA ROUSEY! I’m not tryna see Elias and Alexa get it on in the ring! This isn’t pornhub muthaf***a!!!

Hold on a second – Sasha & Bayley are fighting Ember Moon???? did I miss an episode of RAW or something???

Oh I get it – she was teamed with Dana Brooke… no heels/faces over here folks!

Oh no!!! Dana Brooke is through with Titus Worldwide? What did she expect them to do – hit Sasha and Bayley with Steel Chairs?

GRANT BODY-P!

Er… why are Ziggler and Wackintyre attacking the Revival like that? I think I have missed an episode of RAW! None of this is making sense right now!

…Or maybe it DOES! Took out the Revival so that Wackintyre & Ziggler can get the titles! If The B Team win this… COME ON B TEAM!!!!

The one time I put my faith in the B Team, and they lose! Bloody useless!!!!

Are you serious right now? Alexa Blitch using the armbar to Natalya? Come on Natalya  you trained in the family dungeon! Don’t let this b1tch beat you? Don’t let Anvil turn in his grave!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO! F**K! Anvil has seen disgrace in the afterlife! I thought the Hart family knew how to get out of submissions?

Hold on a second – where’s Drake Maverick going? He looks out-of-place with the Authors Of Pain!!! Or is that the idea?

Er – how did the Shield get arrested??? Even they are not above the law! I may have to rewind and come again!

I know Braun Strowman is powerful and Wackinytre is what I say he is – WACK, but Dolph Ziggler just said they are the most powerful force in history???? Er…. boys???? Get out here!!!

Undertaker Kane

Don’t you just love when The Shield come down the stairs the way they do? It’s just brilliant!

OH SNAP!!! Baron Corbin sent the locker room after The Shield! This is not good!

This is like a full-scale – ‘I’M GONNA KILL YOU! YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO!’

Doesn’t justify why they got arrested though… anyway…

I’m not sure if Bobby Lashley wanted to go the comedic route but it made me chuckle, mocking Jinder Mahal like that!

I knew it! That dastardly Kevin Owens! he said it in his promo last week – that he hated how Bobby Lashley took Sami Zayn out the game! Didn’t you fools see that coming? Come on be smarter than that!

I thought Brie Bella had retired! Aaah f**k it – if she wants to wrestle again – why not? It’s up to her! I ain’t complaining!

The Bellas have still got it! That’s one for their Season 3 episode of Total Bellas! – Yep – women’s tag titles are on the way surely!

If you needed any more validation, Braun is officially a heel, riding with Wackintyre and Ziggler, and he just defeated Finn Balor… now he wants to break his back off the steel steps but wait! WOOP WOOP! IT’S THE SOUND OF THE POLICE!!!

One thing that puzzles me – why arrest WWE superstars when bail is pocket change to them?

GRANT BODY-P!

It makes me wonder if Renee Young has fantasies about being in bed with ALL THREE MEMBERS of The Shield! You know women love men in uniform!

OH MY GODDDDDDDD!!! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING! YO YO YO!

HEY – TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF! The Shield just got rushed!!!

Holy smokes – they charged Seth Rollins right into the police van! BLAOW!!! Glass shattered and everything!

Braun threw steel steps after Roman Reigns! OH LAWWWWWD!

I have never seen The Shield get buss arse like this! It took 10 man, three of them being Braun and the Authors of Pain to f**k them up!

NOW… the main event… I see a thumbnail of Shawn Michaels and Undertaker in the ring! I think I need to click this link!!!! LET’S GO IN!

Does Triple Teef have more left in the tank than Undertaker? He probably does!! But he did practically all his career and he STILL couldn’t beat Undertaker!!!!

Fancy that? It took Shawn Michaels half a promo and just like that, the bell tolls! I bet John Cena feels REALLY BAD now doesn’t he?

GRANT BODY-P!

Question – does arena smoke count as pyro??? BAD MAN FI COME!

“How long has it been? 20 years? I have took the best that you had, I have took the best that Triple H had, and I have put you both DOWN!!!”

At that point if I was HBK – I’d leave the ring!!! Well as soon as the bell tolled I would start hauling @$$!

Undertaker is saying is straight – he took HBK’s soul and career! Why do these two wanna continue f**k!n with Undertaker? Their egos won’t accept it! Very much like Machine Gun Kelly going after Eminem right?

GRANT BODY-P!

HBK is a man of integrity! He speaks the truth! I wonder if he’s throwing shots here? because we all thought Undertaker retired at WrestleMania 33… and look what happened there?

HBK said he stayed retired out of respect for the fans! But they are chanting ONE MORE MATCH??!!!! A WHA DE RARSE?

This segment is gripping!!! I am holding on to every word from these two!

“Is it respect? Or is it fear? Because you could easily come out of retirement, and come for one person – ME… and I would put you down all over again!”

I think Undertaker is giving HBK permission to fight again!!! Holy f**k!

Sorry Wardle – you’re trippin… ALL IN got ALL IN your head! AND THAT’S REAL!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.