Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!
ON THIS DAY IN 1998…
Ok back to reality folks!!!! Stop your noise, kleenex tissues away… we are in the reality era b!tch!! We have a Bi-Polar Kane, a little girl who to me…needs a slap in her mouth corner, and it’s a New Say, YES IT IS!
Charlotte, show this b!tch manners! Kane, show Rollins what time it is! and New Day – #SaveTheTables! RAW #1166! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!
Drinking cappuccino at this ungodly hour… is that a smart move? It could be actually, I’m watching RAW Live… a Hell In A Cell match scheduled between Brock & Undertaker at the end of the month? They want to build this powerfully!
I wouldn’t mind watching that NXT Q&A thing afterwards on the buufta award-winning WWE Network either… so get the caffeine down ya son!
Er Seth… how was hell??? Did you get a tan down there??? Did you get bikini lines???
GRANT BODY – P!!
John Cena has resurrected the US Open Challenge!!! WHOA! JBL just noted that Cena is one win behind Ric Flair on the United States Championship reigns (Cena – 5, Flair – 6), and one win behind Ric Flair in the World Title (Cena – 15, Flair- 16)….
OH SH!T!!!! HAHAHA!! The NEW DAY gonna answer Cena’s challenge! Who’s reppin? Come on Xavier – get in there! Play that trombone!
COME ON XAVIER!!!! I wanna hear that!!!! NEW US CHAAAAMPS!
AAAAAH SH!!!!!!T! The referee sent Kingston & Big E to the back…. MUTHAF***A! Come on Xavier, use the steel chair! Lick him down with the trombone… SH!T!
USE THE POWER OF POSITIVITY WOODS! Oh man…. pray for him people!
Cena with the STF – Xavier couldn’t go out like that – The New Day came back and TEEEEEF! But the Dudly Boyz came out right after them! I guess it’s a 6-man jump off – Dudleyz and Cena Vs The New Day! LET’S GO!
HA! HA! HA! HA! The New Day like a merry-go round taking turns to kick down Cena’s Blodclart in the corner! Oh the haters gonna love that!
YES! Bubba side-stepped Big E, but Big E speared Cena on the outside!
Dudley Boyz looking to have this match won, the Whassup headbutt to Kofi’s reproductive system!
The 3D attempt was failed when Xavier holds on to Bubba’s foot! Kofi recovers and hits the Trouble in Paradise super move to D-Von’s head top – BLAOW! NEW…DAY WINS!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Kane is KILLING IT! Somebody filed a complaint against my hero Kane… that’s not right! So he gotta be evaluated… look at him! Coffee in one hand, holding the hand of the human resources lady in the other, hear Kane – Have you seen that great show on E! Total divas? the Bellas… they’re great!
GRANT BODY – P!!! KANE YOU DUTTY BWOY!!! I’m sure you can plant one in Nikki just like you did Lita hahahah!
Mark Henry Vs Big Show – AGAIN? Oh f**k this – Mark gonna lose again, and it’s The Biiiiig Shoooow… I’m gonna take a leak – this guy SUCKS!
Let’s throw a pic of Lita as we know her NOW for no reason…
Becky Lynch’s voice isn’t that much better… but at least she isn’t as annoying…
I’d like the record to show that Charlotte has held the title for 7 days… come on Charlotte – 294 days to go!!!!
After the Bellas and Becky & Charlotte stop squabbling, here comes this b!tch…Well they seem to have a common enemy – the Belladashians… but it’s like – if I was Becky & Charlotte – I’d clap down Paige before she does it to them…
Watch this – Becky or Charlotte will call for the tag and Paige will leave the ring and walk away like the stupid little b!tch that she is…
Well see what happened was, Bella kicked Charlotte into Paige, Paige thought – f**k it – I’m out this b!tch, Natalya confronts Paige, Paige is like – go on then – take over… but comes back and baits up Natalya… as far as the Divas match, I’m not sure how this may turn out – I just know Nikki faces Charlotte again, but somewhere down the road to hell Natalya & Paige will clash… and I hope the veteran beats out the spoilt b!tch’s BLODCLART!
KANE IS KILLING IT!!! Did you know he got Seth Rollins a gift? The ‘severed’ head from the statue that Sting destroyed? Kane is proper f**k!n with Rollins right now! I mean, Seth got Kane a trip to Hawaii right? So Kane is only giving back!!!
Wyatt Bwoy Vs The PTP… even Sky Sports thought f**k it – I CAN’T TAKE NO MORE OF THIS SH!T!!! How about some babestation lads??? Who’s on tonight? Paige Turnah? Lucy Zara? Kandi Kay? Or my personal favourite – Sophia Lares???
Oh no wait – Sky fixed up… on with the show!
Stardust Vs Neville – URRRRRRGHHHHH! Yes these two are exciting to watch but I’m bored… it’s not a fair thing to sya, it’s sounds contradictory… but these two fight already! And WWE wonders why muthaf***az switch to Monday Night Football… fans claim they want wrestling but truthfully this repetitive wrestling sh!t bores me – GIVE ME SOME JOKE! Just like what Kane and Rollins is doing now!
Can I say thank you King Barrett for shutting down this match? NAH not really… because I’M A KING… not that muthaf***a…
This HR Chick – ‘Ashley’ she kinda cute still! I think Seth Rollins wants a close look at this… uh-oh…
AAAAH SH!T!!! Footage of the demon Kane!!!!
But Kane used a great chess move – Kane got footage of his own! Making Seth look bad!
According to the evaluation, ‘Ashley’ determined that Kane can do his job effectively! But Rollins having none of it! Rollins mash-up Kane with the chair!!! Brukk up his leg! The EMTs had to take him away on a stretcher! Send him away in an ambulance! BUT WAIT! the Ambulance STOP! You don’t call the ambulance to carry Kane’s @$$ out???!! AAAAAAH SH!!!T, see there’s Kane, the D.O.O. then there’s the demon – IT’S KAAAAAAAANE!!!! Suddenly Rollins got diarrhea! Strikes the demon with the chair – THE CHAIR HAD NO EFFECT! Kane grabs Rollins by the neck! CHOKESLAM!!! Now that’s that sh!t I like! I’m feeling this storyline – f**k what you think!
Rusev Vs Kevin Owens – who wins? Certainly not The Ryback! Rusev and Kevin Owens combine their force and beat on the Ryback before Ziggler comes out…
Look Stephanie – you ain’t gotta challenge the Infamous Informer – The Man In the Purple Suit – Grant Body – P to #KeepDancing for childhood cancer – THE GRANT SAYS – I challenge YOU Stephanie to dance WITH The Infamous Informer – Grant Body – P! Can you wine your body, wiggle your belly, wine and go up, wine and go down??? Can you do the Boom shak-a-lak Stephanie??? Can you make the wallpaper strip Stephanie???
GRANT BODY – P!
Ok I’ve mastered the BRRRROCCCK LESSSSNARR…but now I gotta master a new phrase – SUUUPLEXXXX CITTTY!
Well Big Slow feels confident doesn’t he going into Madison Square Gardens? How is Big Slow gonna ask Paul to imagine the future without Brock Lesnar when Brock is going to Hell In A Cell with the Don of DONS! The TRUE MASTER of the Hell In A Cell? Sounds biased? maybe, but Undertaker defeated Triple Teef in the Cell at WM28… I know my history – Taker & Triple were tied at 7 wins each in the cell, but then Undertaker defeated Triple WITH Shawn Michaels in that muthaf***a… put me on Mastermind…specailist subject – UNDERTAKER from 1990 to present! I would win that muthaf***a!
MAIN EVENT – Roman Reigns Vs Bray Wyatt – er… I’ve seen this match already right??
OH SNAAAAP! Roman Reigns just called Wyatt a b!tch!!!! That’s the eater of worlds you’re talking to! He turned the moon red! He put water on Mars! SH!T!!!
Roman Reigns said he was gonna end this sh!t with Wyatt…he nevr said anything about ending it on a pinfall! That’s what you gotta do – you gotta F*K HIM UP! From the day Wyatt started messing with Roman’s daughter, that’s something you just DON’T DO!
But Bray Wyatt – charging Reigns through the barricade – BLAOW!!! Who’s that screaming – Nicola Box – stop that!!! But wait!!! Reigns somehow uses counter technique – spears Wyatt through the table – BLAOW!!! That’s what I’m talking about – straight RUCKUS!!! None of this wrestling wrist lock headlock takeover rubbish! I was just not in the mood for all that you FEEL ME?!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.