Author Archives: Jon P

About Jon P

Currently run www.cageamateursuk.com which is a combat sport website.

THE JOBBER BLOGGER #127 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 1/10/14

Jobber-Blogger

The Jobber Blogger

So yeah, let’s talk about that Elephant in the Room huh? Yes, it’s late, I am fully aware. I do apologise for the lateness of this week’s issue, and last week’s, but hey, I’m a little later this week. I’ve not been this late since I worked Part-Time – yup, do the math on that.

math

I don’t do math.

I could go on and on about why I didn’t get the time to Write this up till Wednesday night, but that doesn’t matter. What does matter is TNA: Impact Wrestling, so let’s get to that shall we?

bluelineImpact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 1/10/14

Holy Cheese Nips – Bound for Glory is this Sunday. How crazy is that? It felt like it was ages away, hell it feels like nothing – at – all has been done for this PPV on Television. Aside from James Storm / Sanada / Muta there is nothing more. And that Story has been a B-Story at best running “here and there” in the background, now it’s the main event on the biggest show of the year. Awesome.

Still, I’m looking forward to Bound for Glory – if for nothing more than being up to date with TNA, I can’t explain how much I hate pre-taped Wrestling Television.

It’s all about the here and now, and that was a Month ago. Okay sure, that was an exaggeration, but you get the drift.

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Austin Aries vs. Samoa Joe – X-Division Championship

Aries kicked off the show to talk about what Championship he was going to Challenge for. That’s right, an Entire episode of Impact was to determine this position. Aries just rambling on is enough to bring out Samoa Joe who (now get this) Challenges Austin Aries.

Yeah that happened.

Aries battles through this tournament to get this great opportunity – to then be challenged himself by a Champion rather than the other way round and lose.

This just makes it feel more like a House Show.

The idea of Joe vs. Aries is exciting, because Joe vs. Aries #1 back in 2012 was the second best match that year. However this meeting of Joe and Aries – though good, not nearly as good.

I suppose I am a little biased when it comes to Aries, but really, you don’t need to be, because he backs it up himself. Aries, as per usual was on fire, on point and brilliant.

I guess I would have enjoyed the match a little more should Aries have taken the win. But I can’t argue. Least they’re letting Aries beat everyone to get shots lately, they seem to be putting him in the right places.

Both Aries and Joe struggled to get this promo off the ground for the two of them to do battle, but in the end, it didn’t really matter.

Which would have been much better if Joe came out to blab for no reason and Aries just walked out and discus elbowed him in the face – Bam – Match – Challenge set and accepted. As it was Aries went for the Last Chancery and was instead caught by Joe’s rear naked choke for the Win.

Though I can’t argue with a great solid match to kick off the show. Though I will whine, a lot.

A lot.

whine

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Eric Young vs. Ethan Carter the Third

The main story here is EC3 and Spud. Last week it was built that there were “issues” between the two, and this week cemented it.

EC3 gave Spud a good heel speech of “in what world, would we be friend?” then ruined his jacket.

This is obviously to build Spud as a face. Here is the problem.

It’s been there done that territory again, I think it always will be with Wrestling. People really like Spud, and that’s because he’s great in the Role he’s in. Making him face changes that role, and people care less. It always happens. People love Heels, Spud isn’t trying to be a “heel” but making him a face would alter his response from the crowd.

However he was extremely good at getting the Sympathy vote. So it might work, least for a short amount of time. Like Joseph Park.

EY who was set to fight EC3 later in the match came out to stand up for Spud, and thus the match took place.

Spud (reluctantly) helped EC3 win.

EC3 works well as a Heel, Spud works well being a naive heel manager. I think he’s capable of doing a good run as a Face, I just don’t think it will be the same. Time will tell. But sooner rather than later, Spud will turn on EC3.

Though now I’ve said that, I will probably be wrong… I hope I am.

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Do you know what Annoyed me the most about this week’s Impact. It was the unnecessary “conflict” placed into the Tag-Team Series.

The Wolves with their “Wolves Nation” (which is a horribly bad name), decided to blab on about being a Good Tag-Team. That people didn’t think they were up to much. Let’s be fair, they did lose two matches straight.

Plus they’ve barely defended the Tag-Belts.

Still, it was a speech I didn’t need to hear. Of course this only got worse with Team 3D being un-characteristically negative. Sure Bully and Devon have probably played Heels more than Faces, especially Bully. But right now, their position in the Company is not to be big headed egotistical bad-guys all of a sudden. “You’ll never be as good as us, that’s just fact” – no offense to the Wolves, but they are probably right.

It was just un-needed. This was only to become worse with The Hardyz getting involved. Who not only blabbed on at Team 3D with yet another “history talk”, but they too downgraded the Wolves by stating how less they are in comparison. Another un-characteristic speech. Plus Jeff screamed about something I could have done without.

In the end they all end up brawling and this brings out the weapons which makes for the Full Metal Mayhem announcement.

I think everyone was fairly sure where this was going, they did re-create the old TLC announcement, only with “Tables, Ladders, Chairs…. Full Metal Mayhem!” which, whatever, I don’t care anymore.

Either way, this will take place next week, and I guarantee it’s the Match of the Year. Least I’m hoping it will be, I can’t wait for it.

I just think there must be a much cleverer way to get these guys to have disagreements and fight, without it being cheap, meaningless and let’s be honest, silly.

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Manik (w/James Storm) vs. Shark Boy

Good ol Filler Shark Boy is back this week. I do like Shark Boy, but he’ll always be the one you don’t take seriously. But I love the parody, I revel in it.

Manik looking like a sleek super-hero AJ Styles – and also much less menacing then he used to, squashed Shark Boy with ease.

I like the idea, I don’t get how rough and tough scruffy Cowboy – James Storm, beer bottle in hand and giant Beer, works with sleek looking shiny attired Luchardor styled Wrestlers. I don’t see that match, but I don’t hate it.

Come on Tigre-Uno.

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MVP (w/Kenny King) vs. Mr. Anderson (w/Chris Melendez)

Anderson who gave a pep talk to Melendez about sticking up for yourself, fighting these guys back, proving your ground. Then went into battle for him instead.

So not only is Melendez weak, incapable, but he needs people to do things for him too. I’m sorry, wasn’t this guy a tough, mean, driven War Hero who wouldn’t back down. Rather than someone who needs so much help and support.

It makes me like him less and less. I’d only like him more at this point if Anderson punched him in the face. Is that bad?

Kenny got involved on the Apron, Melendez pulled him down, Anderson distracted, MVP roll up – Win.

Meh.

Bobby Roode came out to do his yearly “I’ve been home and had time to re-think my career” speech. A Trend James Storm started which AJ Styles did, and Roode has done it twice if not Three Times now.

Roode decided he’s only as good as his last match and Challenges Lashley to one more match – because he knows he can beat him.

MVP answered for him by saying No. That’s pretty much it.

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Gail Kim vs. Havok – Knockouts Championship

Gail Kim and Havok had a fight earlier in the night, you knew something was up because Gail didn’t get the second entrance, she was attacked by Havok, who then threw her into the Ring Post and slammed onto the Floor “injuring her shoulder”.

Gail then did a terrible promo of being injured and demanding to Wrestle whilst Kurt Angle did an equally terrible job of acting alongside her. It was awful, like some weird low-budget porn.

Gail and Kurt

Gail still didn’t get the Champion entrance on the second time round, but I am extremely happy the Knockouts got to Main Event Impact.

I do like Havok, she is growing on me more and more, but I don’t yet see her as good as perhaps some others do.

Of course she pretty much destroys Gail and Chokeslams her for the Win and becomes the new Knockouts Champion.

So much for Taryn Terrell eh.

I have no issues with this.

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A bit of a strange mash up of a Show, but certainly not a bad one.

TNA just doesn’t feel right currently. I’m expecting that to be different come next week’s Full Metal Mayhem, but how long will it last?

Bound for Glory I’m sure will be something special, I just hope TNA gets it all back on track for 2015.

Till then,

Dan Wilkinson

TotalNonstopRewind

TheJobberBlogger

TheSteelChair

StrikeTapandGrapple

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

www.cageamateursuk.com

Monday Night Raw #1115: October 6, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

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The Infamous Informer

It’s true Worst Comes to Worst my peoples come first… I gotta play Uncle duties, I had to look after my nephew while a family funeral is happening out-of-town. Which meant I missed RAW, and after what, two, three weeks of RAW foolishness, WWE pulls one out the hat when I’m not watching live??? DAMNIT, DAMNIT! DAMNIT!!!!!

This is my version of the events as according to WWE.Com. RAW #1115! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZSince when did you become a 2Pac fan Seth Rollins? All Eyes On Me, Me Against the World Sh!t???!!! All my enemies wanna kill me??!!! Thug Life Tattooed on my Belly??!!! He claims he loves it… well yeah – because you haven’t got BUSS ARSE yet that’s why!

Well Seth is either a 2Pac fan or a fan of Catwoman! This guy must have more lives than that b!tch! Every time Cena or Ambrose tries to get at him his legs did run! But not this time! Running into the crowd… what was The Shield known for apart from beating muthaf***az into the table? Yes – coming through the crowd – and that’s exactly what Ambrose did!

That’s it! BEAT HIM!!!! Oh goddamnit who sent the stooges down to break it up??? Hey Seth! Ever thought of running the 100 metres? I believe you can beat Usain Bolt!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Word on the street is that idiot Ziggler lost his Intercontinental Championship Belt at the airport… So irresponsible! Vince – FIRE HIS B!TCH @$$!!! You got money to recuperate damnit!

…and that’s the man you IWC b!tches want to become WWE Champion? It’s never gonna happen now – the fool lost the IC Belt!

OH SNAP!!!!! Ziggler & the Usos – triple kick in the kisser of Stardust – BLAOW!!!! His full set of teeth should be coming out of his @$$ by now!

Oh no it’s ok – he found it… where do you IWC jabronies get your info from? STOP READING THE DYAM DIRT SHEETS!

What the f**k does Adam Rose look like? I’m sorry – I can’t support him… he looks like a battyman vampire! I shall speak no more about this.

WHAT? NO! Bo Dallas defeats my don Mark Henry again??? I mean this time Henry had criminal intentions… he wanted to f**k up Dallas this time, setting up the announce table and sh!t… I say do it anyway! And say – THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!

Be patient Henry… you’ll get him!

Hmmm… amusing…Cena says that he sees in Ambrose what no one else has: GUTS… why did he not say ‘ATTITUDE’??? I’m jussaying… Shout out to the attitards!!!

So STC’s Ian Cooper was right!!!! Cena Vs Ambrose at the Hell in the Cell PPV with the winner facing Seth Rollins? What do you make of that people??? I’ll tell you what – tune in this week on BDSIR NETWORK – STC From The UK Sat 1am UK time, 8pm EST!

“You said you could beat me with one hand tied behind your back…. COME ON HOT SHOT!!!” (Vince McMahon to Stone Cold Steve Austin, April 1998)

10469748_10204537437416929_5824888263508120328_nWell Brie Bella thought she could try the same thing against Summer Rae. With my sexy Layla on her side, surely Summer Rae can’t go wrong, right?

WRONG!!!!! I can’t believe you Summer! I thought you had skills? Disappointed ain’t the word!!!

Big ups to Brie though…. she’s keeping the YES movement alive! Her music is still wack though… I gotta go in the lab and find a suitable theme song for her… since I don’t fancy Brie like I do Layla, Rosa, Naomi, Lillian, Stephanie… it will take me a while to find that track…

How is Tyson Kidd gonna use Natalya as a shield to get away from Wack Swagger? What sort of stupidness is that???

HAHAHA! Tyson Kidd getting the better of Swagger and Tyson is like – HI FIVE Nattie! Natalya just kissed her teeth and walked away!!!

Big ups to Roman Reigns he’s on the mend… but let’s be real… that was a waste of satellite TV!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh snap! It’s Vladamir Putin’s Birthday! SALUTE THIS MAN!!!! Or maybe not…..

Vladimir_Putin_-_2006

HA! HA! HA! HA! Lana don’t give me joke! The Big Show should be in prison like all of us???!!! For desecrating the Russian Flag? OH SH!T!!! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! We committed a hate crime!!!! Wait a minute – Lana baby girl – haven’t you being hating on the Americans for months now????!!!

I’m not American, but I would chant USA! Just to hear Lana say SHUT-UP!!! It turns me on….!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Er… Rusev…. if Big Show has been suspended, why you calling him out so you can crush him???? Er… anybody in there??? (knocking your head to check if there is a brain in there!)

NOW THIS IS WHAT I HEARD ABOUT!!! The past few weeks, I’ve been yawning my @$$ off at RAW and watching Babestation at the same time. The ONE WEEK I miss Raw due to family commitments, and THE ROCK appears on RAW???!!! Did you IWC jabronies pick this up in the dirt sheets??? You think Lana is getting wet…. with perspiration???

Hit the link below after the jump:

The Rock went to Queens, Manhattan, The Bronx!!! That’s what I love about this dude – he knows his Hip Hop Origins!!!! That’s why I’m like – F**k The Rock haters!

Whoa -whoa- whoa – Rock??!!! You had one last borough to go to? You forgot Staten Island homes???? The home of A Better Tomorrow! In stores on Warner Bros records December 2, 2014!!!!!

This is the part where the crowd should be chanting – WU-TANG! WU-TANG! WU-TANG! WU-TANG!!!!

15,000+ strong in Brooklyn chanting HOLY SH!T! HOLY SH!T! HOLY SH!T!!!! upon Rock’s presence!

Look at The Rock looking up and down at Lana… do you think he’s gonna ‘fix his jeans’???

What the hell was Rusev blubbering on about??? – IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT HE THINKS!!!!

OH SNAP!!! The Rock just quoted Jay-Z!!!! STC member Richard Selby is gonna love this!!!!

The Rock just slapped the sh!t out of Rusev!!!! He should have fixed his jeans to Lana though!!!!

You should have never told The Rock to Shut Up Lana! Now he got #SovietStreetWalker trending on twitter! Oh dear you know bad mouthing The Rock is baaaad news!!!

Right these are Anthony Benigno’s words: Not mine!

“With Alicia Fox now holding the coveted title of Paige’s Best Friend, it was only a matter of time before The Diva of Tomorrow and her batty BFF teamed up in an official capacity to torment the reigning Divas Champion, AJ Lee.”

I have an idea what ‘batty’ means over in the states, but in Jamaican terms batty means bottom, @$$.. backside… that sort of thing. you put ‘man’ at the end of batty and well a picture of Adam Rose or Darren Young or Dolph Ziggler will appear in the dictionary!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

What the rarse is this Emma doing? All this dancing nonsense? This ain’t Strictly Come Dancing fool??!!! This ain’t ballet?!!! This is WWE woman!!!! Look at AJ Lee… frustrated and sh!t… a fine woman like that should not be frustrated???????!!!!!

So w’happen, has Cesaro & Miz switched dance partners? Now The Miz could be fighting Sheamus for the US Title, while Cesaro could be fighting Ziggler for the IC? Meanwhile the crowd love Damien Sandow! Expect a face turn from Sandow somewhere down the road. The fans love his ‘stunt double’ antics!

Right IWC! F**k what you think you know. Last week, you assumed that Luke Harper is going solo… This week, that cryptic promo was as f**ked up as they come with Eric Rowan! The GRANT SAYS THIS: Don’t try to work it out… and that pregnant vision was mad disturbing… I think that all it is, is that the Wyatt Man dem have put extra creativity behind them… and it’s worries for everyone in the mid-card division at least!

You see what happen when you farce yourself in next man business Cena? Now Ambrose has gone to get a hot dog or two… and you’re there getting timberland boot stomped out by Randall, Seth and Glenn…

Wait a minute – I thought Ambrose went for a hot dog? He’s back and he’s brought the cart with him!!! I guess Cena, Glenn, Randall & Seth are hungry too… all that wrestling they be doing…

Oh hang on!!! He got ketchup & mustard as his artillery? Er… Randall… Glenn… turn back! You don’t want none of that!

Told ya!!! My fallen hero Kane & the evil Randall went from setting people on fire and ‘killing legends’ to being squirted with mustard & ketchup… To quote The Streets: Has It Come To This????

Oh lawwwd that must sting! Ambrose throwing a hot tub of onions over Rollins backbone!!! You know the onions have ben in that hot oil and sh!t!!!

OH SNAP!!!!! Ambrose use the spatula thing and clamped Rollins in his seedbag! Oh that’s it now – Sex life DUN!!!

Since I never saw this live, I can’t exactly judge this show… what I can say though… is The Rock’s appearance alone makes RAW automatically was better than the past two or three weeks… and I suppose WWE knew their ratings were in trouble… so they hit the emergency glass button! THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED!

RUSEV & LANA: Shame on you, when you step through to – the Ol’ Dirty Bastard – BROOKLYN ZOO!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1114: September 29, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

 

WELCOME EVERYONE TO WWE RAW: JUDGMENT DAY!!!! We are live from a sold out Chicago crowd! And they are all pumped up and ready, chanting for the guy I like to call Philippa Brukk!!! Infamous Informer here on commentary taking you through the next 3 hours and 15 minutes of wrestling action!

GRYM REAPER CALLING – JUDGMENT DAY!!! RAW #1114! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

SHOUT OUT TO STC MEMBER DARREN BRUNTON! IT’S HIS BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK! SHOW SOME ADMIRATION & RESPECT!

And they’ve started! Oh snap! Stephanie is putting the QUITTERS on blast!!! See how she switches it up to Dean Ambrose though!!!! HA! HA!

May Paul Heyman interject??? Will he mention Phillipa’s name blatantly?!!! Nope he’s gonna talk about BRRROCCK LESSSNAR!

Well Seth Rollins is right…. no one wants to see Cena win the title, but by claiming that Brock Lesnar is the ‘BEST’, the crowd took that as an insult to Philipa…

So Seth is like, Ambrose, give back the briefcase with my cheque in there… Ambrose appears on-screen… he’s like – if yuh tink say your name bad man, come fe it nuh? And according to you IWC b!tches, John Cena just had to steal the limelight from Ambrose by attacking Rollins… I dun explained to you how Cena is in this storyline… y’all just hating… so The Grant Says – SHUT THE F**K UP!

HA! HA! Jamie Noble gives me joke! He wants  some sledge hammers to aid in retrieving the briefcase… you know NO-ONE wields that thing except for Triple TEEF!!!!

I’m glad Ziggler has killed that noise he was going on with R-Truth… Cesaro you are a don, I hope you defeat The Miz & Ziggler in this Triple Threat Match for the Intercontinental Championship… babestation ain’t saying nuthin either… I guess it’s a quick game of Tekken!

Side note – I’m glad that this will be the last episode of Raw I’ll be watching via stream… this Wednesday – let’s get that Network! HEY! It better not be no £9.99! charge us the same you charge the states! No funny business knowing this dyam country!

In fact f**k Tekken – let’s post this pic of Stephanie with her fine self… just for no reason!

Steph Raw Chicago

Actually this wrestling contest is not bad! Plenty pinning predicaments! Great counter techniques! But damnit, Cesaro hit the Sho-ryu-ken on The Miz, Ziggler kicks down Cesaro and takes advantage of the pin and defends his title…

So who are these guys? Jamie Noble & his bredrin? Are they the new Patterson & Brisco??? HAHAHAHAHA!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

It’s okay people, my girl Sophia Lares is back on babestation… she’s on standby for when RAW comes with some stupidness…

I’m sick of stupid muthaf***az running up my inbox while RAW is on… what the f**k do they want at this time of night? Worse than that – I get someone running up my inbox telling me to ‘like’ his profile picture… I ain’t no battyman – get the f**k outta here with that sh!t!

WTF was that all about with The Wyatt Family? Most notably Luke Harper? What is this – a singles career launch??? Answers on a postcard please – Tweet me @MZATheInfamous, or hit us up at our FB group –http://www.facebook.com/groups/smacktalkcentre – Request To Join – Don’t Be a Weirdo!

Jesus have mercy LAYLA!!!! My god you look so f**kable! What’s this I hear – you have a new boyfriend???? I’m gonnaGRANT & LAYLA WWE2K15 find him… and SKIN HIM ALIVE!

Yo Jerry Lawler you still got it for lyrics! ‘Love is Grand, Divorce is 100Grand!’ I ought to remember that!

OH SNAP!!! Rosa’s extensions fell out her headtop!!! She might be the star of Total Divas, but this is RAW – where Layla is my star!!

Is it me, or does Dean Ambrose entrance music sound like that Puff Daddy tune??? Me cyan’t remember the name of it… I think it was for some film or something…

Oh snap! Ambrose is having a Chicago clearance sale??? He can’t do that surely?

WOW!! the crowd are chanting for someone other than Philipa Brukk!!!

Come on Patterson & Brisco!!! Do your job and get the briefcase!!!

Oh hang on… reinforcements!!! Looks like Ambrose wants no problems with these guys he calls ‘rosebuds’…. he’s going back up the stairs Shield style… he’s like – Seth Rollins – take your briefcase…what I wanna know is – why did Seth open that thing???? OH SNAP – what is that slimy sh!t coming out that messed up Rollins good suit??? He’s lucky it’s that and not what happened to The McMahons & the Spirit Squad back in 2006!

Even Randall & Glenn are laughing about it!!!! OH SH!T!!

First Swagger, now you wanna f**k with Mark Henry, Bo Dallas??? You don’t want to do that sir!!! Say what – Close the Hall Of Pain????? That’s only gonna keep the Hall Of Pain open BIG TIME!

Say what? Bo Dallas defeated Mark Henry???? What in the flying f**k???!!!!!

Shocked Undertaker 21-1 face2THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU DO HENRY???!!!! 

Suddenly Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak is irrelevant… Mark Henry lost to Bo muthaf***!n Dallas???? Oh HELL TO DA NAW!!!

That’s more like it!!!! Henry just f**ked up Bo Dallas backstage!!! Now THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!

Oh I get it…. will this Bella feud end in an I Quit match??? Hmmm….. I know y’all not interested… now putting Cameron & Eva Marie up against Brie Bella… is it REALLY a handicap match? If Tamina and Alicia Fox came out then I’d say yeah for sure…

Now look what you Bellas have done! Got the crowd chanting for JBL, Jerry Lawler & Michael Cole! Well it’s better than Philipa…. you know what? I think the crowd are finally come to terms with the truth… Note – AJ Lee hasn’t come out yet… was it a move by WWE for AJ Lee NOT to appear on Raw??? Or was it AJ Lee that thought – f**k that – I’m not about to bust my @$$ (Literally) out there only for the crowd to chant for a man who crosses his legs and whines like a b!tch… oh wait…. that’s my man…

GRANT BODY – P!!!

So hold on… Adam Rose & the Bunny are on commentary? And we got Slater, Gator and mini gator (Hornswoggle)? The Bunny actually has a WWE profile??? Ok this is the part where I watch babestation… F**K that – Chant Philipa’s name! You have my permission!

You gotta problem with Hip Hop JBL???? You gotta problem with me!!! Don’t let me come down there and Timberland Boot Stomp your @$$!

People are loving the Big Show! You know why? Because on Smackdown, Big Show punched Rusev through school buses! PPPPPPPP!!!! I’ve missed that super-move!

Hold up – Rusev can speak English??? Since when???!!!! SHUT UP!!!!

Rusev don’t want none of Big Show….after all that talk of breaking every bone in his body??? Rusev you got no barz!!!

OH NO! Big Show just pulled down the Russian flag! He can’t do that???? Big Show gonna be in trouble for sure! (yes I know Jericho, you disrespected the Brazilian flag and you got in trouble…)

NO Cena you didn’t just say that!!!! You can’t say Chicago is your type of town??!!!! That must sting!!!! I love the darts being thrown by the WWE superstars!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

But I gotta agree with Ambrose… the beef started with him & Rollins… it’s not your fight really… I mean it is to an extent but it’s so personal with Ambrose… so stop stealing Ambrose’s Yam & dumpling and get your own sh!t… you love your fruity pebbles don’t you? And by the way… your T-shirt is WACK! I don’t care if it’s promoting Cancer research or whatever!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

OH SNAP!!! AJ LEE IS HERE!!!! Is she gonna cut a promo??? Nope, she’s gonna fight! Better get my ear plugs…

Well Paige don’t want none of AJ Lee… so she sent Alicia Fox after her! er AJ… if I was you I would lose this fight…. and she has!!! Alicia hasn’t gotta go crazy all over Chicago!

Oh Lawwwd they beat down AJ Lee in Chicago… shot after shot after shot at Philipa… this is WWE firing shots at dude like his name is Scarface when he took 50 licks!

Shock! Horror! Now we gotta wait til NOVEMBER 1, for the WWE Network! Blodclart!!!! David Cameron what the f**k did you do??? I mean, WWE2K15 comes out at the same time! I’m going to see Common Live on London at that time! I don’t think it’s gonna work out….

Shout out to Hulk Hogan and all the ladies in the world that are putting boots2breastcancer…Show the world that you are proud of your t!++!£$! Don’t let the evil cancer take away your t!++!£$! We love your t!++!£$, and so should you!

It’s kinda funny how Glenn complains about Seth starting fires and he has to put em out… you see? My Hero Kane STARTS FIRES!!! I HATE GLENN DAMNIT!!!

I like Dean Ambrose’s hoodie… got that Anarky feel to it…. then you got the total opposite, Mr Fruity Pebbles himself…. considering it’s breast cancer awareness month, in the case of Cena, THE MILK’S GONE BAD!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Well well, Seth Rollins shut down another main event…. oh f**k!nhell look at Cena and Ambrose fighting over who should f**k up Rollins…see that’s what happens when you on that bullsh!t – RKO, CHOKESLAM, THEN A CURB STOMP – BLAOW!!!! Both Cena & Ambrose laid out, crowd chanting ‘Thank you Rollins’, and NO returning star… no Batista, no Bryan, no Philipa Brukk…. NOBODY… y’all been reading them muthaf***!n dirt sheets too much, and now y’all not smiling… YES, NOBODY’S SMILING… except ME!!! WHOEVER LOSES, I WIN BIATCH!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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THE JOBBER BLOGGER #126 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 24/9/14

Jobber-Blogger

The Jobber Blogger

I think this is the first Jobber Blogger in some time that has been late, but guess what people, I’ve been busy! So it does happen.

I myself only managed to watch Impact last night, and though I did think about attempting the second “Watch and Write” issue, I just wanted to take it easy and relax!

Probably a good choice, as it has calmed my initial rage from watching Impact, but the more I think about it, the more it’s coming back! Isn’t that exciting!? Yes it is!

Impact Wrestling LogoTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 24/9/14

bluelineSo TNA is Total Nonstop Mess right about now. Everything is in crazy land, I don’t know if everyone who reads this is aware, but I shall let you in on what is happening without spoiling anything.

TNA have changed the landscape drastically, yes this concerns all of their Championships, the reason because they don’t have many guys left on Contract, least not a long term contract. Long term being any point to Summer of 2015, which is only a short window as it is.

So they have put the belts on those who are sticking around till at least then, which gives them some wiggle room should people decided to leave TNA rather than do the Pay-By-Appearance method.

I get it, current problems, no TV deal, everything is up in the air. But what this means, is that come Bound for Glory – most of the people you want to watch on the Show, and the matches with the Belts to be defended, yup, that won’t be happening.

Apparently the Japanese audience will be greatly offended and confused should they turn up to Bound for Glory without knowing what’s happened and everything won’t make sense.

TNA have ramped up their TV Tapings to cover to the end of the year I believe, or least will do by the time they get to Bound for Glory. Which means the BIGGEST PPV of the Year, the first time it’s taking place out of the United States, will feature no big matches, no big championship matches and be completely out of sync to what you watched on Television.

Which does beg the question – what’s the point.

This will be like a Special PPV or a “One night Only” TNA in Japan PPV rather than Bound for Glory.

I think they have announced some titles will be defended, I didn’t read, I don’t want to know the spoilers.

This brings us to the bigger problem, 2 Months worth of Impact Tapings packed with “Filler” moments and mainly Video Packages.

Which makes this week’s Impact the first of many to come, and I hereby announce it the start of TNF – Total Nonstop Filler.

I suddenly miss Hogan.

Hulkisenseblueline

MVP vs. Low Ki

“Kurt Angle” had this great idea of a Gold Rush tournament. Now, I actually like the idea, I don’t like how it was tacked on.

It’s a shame this week’s Episode felt like a Televised House Show, because the Matches were actually excellent.

What I didn’t like was sitting through Video Packages of Last Week, then a stupidly long Video of MVP, then MVP taking a full length entrance, plus a Promo.

Low Ki then got his entrance, then a Video Package of Low Ki – yes the same one we saw recently. Then the match, which took 7 mins to get to.

If I wasn’t a committed TNA fan, I would have turned it off by now.

On the plus side, we had MVP vs. Low Ki. I don’t dislike MVP but I certainly don’t see this “massive potential” in the guy either. I think next to Low Ki he quickly looks a bit basic.

What I did like was MVP challenging Low Ki to the chops, which he delivered, to the point of actually making his Chest Bleed.

Low Ki had an impressive outing but MVP got the win with his “Drive By” kick.

Despite what I might have just said about the two guys, I do think MVP taking the win is the right call.

MVP - Sheep in Wolf clothing

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Robbie E vs. Tajiri

Robbie E had one of the very few backstage segments this week as he bragged out “dating” Velvet Sky and then being on the Amazing Race with Brooke, who we haven’t seen in Months, who he really is Dating. So I hope Brooke comes back and they let her and Robbie be an on air couple, I’m guessing the Amazing Race is a big deal? I don’t even know what it is.

I like Robbie E, I like him a lot, always have. I think he’s good at playing the joker, but he’s actually a very talented Wrestler and entertainer, so i was pleased to see him hold his own against Tajiri.

I also take back what I said about Tajiri, guy is impressive and very much on point. I can’t seem to take him seriously though. I almost look at him as if he’s not a real Wrestler, but I do think that’s because he was portrayed badly in the WWE for so many years.

Tajiri hit the Mist to the face of Robbie E and followed it up with a nice kick to the head for the Win.

Doubt Tajiri is sticking around much after BFG, but I’d like to see The Bromans be used a lot more, they are sticking around and they are good Talents.

bluelineAustin Aries vs. Knux

This was a match I didn’t expect to be going into my Match of the Year nominees. But hey, a Wrestling match is about great Wrestling, great crowd interaction and to mix them both together, you create the magic that is – emotion.

Aries and Knux put on a great showing and I don’t think I’ve ever seen Knux perform the way he did when he was against Aries. I think Knux is due some screen time, as is The Menagerie, I do like them and I freakin love Crazy Steve!

Aries muscled Knux up and dropped him with the Brain Buster for the win , so seriously, if you didn’t watch this match, watch this match!

It’s just yet another example that Austin Aries is the absolute best, no matter who he works with, you’re getting something special. He is literally as Legit as they come – and that’s why people love him. As long as he’s on the Payroll – he should be in the Main Events – that simple.

AustinAriesthebest

bluelineMagnus vs. Mr. Anderson

After dragging Magnus through some crap he didn’t need, it finally felt like Magnus was back to his “old self” again.

Though I do think he’s maybe a little dull at times.

Which means on the flip side – Anderson is far from Dull, if only at times lacking motivation, or least comes across that way.

Anderson is a guy who has great potential, he just needs support and a platform to do what he does best, and that’s be himself.

When he came back and had issues with Bully and Dixie – that felt exciting, the start of something new! But it didn’t last, they didn’t build it. I fully believe Anderson could be the key to something quite different, or if not vastly “different” from what we’ve seen, he certainly could be the key to something sorely lacking.

Another good solid match which saw a rather good counter into the Mic Check – which I still think is a naff move.

gaymagnus

bluelineAbyss vs. Samuel Shaw

Abyss is finally looking better. I’m not a big fan of his new attire and mask, the Coat is alright, but now he’s hair come back a bit longer and he’s got a good beard going on – it suits the look.

I didn’t really get into his newer Theme Song – but thinking about it, that Theme might suit this current look better than his traditional one.

I’m just hoping Abyss gets another revamp and used stronger. I think it’s the same comment for most of the Roster – So much potential, just never used.

I like the pairing between Abyss and Shaw and that might even unfold in a good development down the line (hopefully).

Shaw managed to hit in a sneaky Chair Shot but fell victim to the Blackhole Slam right away and Abyss took the win.Abyss Phone blueline

Austin Aries vs. MVP vs. Tajiri vs. Abyss vs. Mr. Anderson

This feels like a Filler Jobber Blogger. Again, it’s not like this was a “BAD” show, it had some awesome matches. It just lacked the atmosphere and planning, it felt rushed and “it’ll do” to fill a week.

I honestly hope that they don’t do this for every week from now till January.

If they had put a little more into this show and produced it better it would have been fantastic with these matches that really bounced out at you.

It just didn’t take off as a show, the crowd seemed to have thinned out toward the end, which I’m not means they taped the matches at different shows, or literally people just left.

But as someone who has sat through multiple TV Tapings, it does wear a little thin.

It just felt like a house show.

Not much more to say about this match, I think if this was promoted a little better and produced a lot better, the tournament would have been really engaging.

I love tournaments.

Least it all ended in a great outcome- Austin Aries.

Aries takes the Win of this Gold Rush tournament and then next week he gets to chose what Title he wants to Challenge for.

interestingangle

blueline

Also in the show they filled it out with a Ladder match recap, a billed World Title Fall out which was the exact same Video Package they ran at the top of the show that just highlighted the main event. So it wasn’t a fall out, it was a clip reel.

To say this was the very last show of their “amazing” Summer in the City, why didn’t they run Video Packages of all the awesome moments that took place during the tapings in New York.

Dixie going through a Table, the World title matches, the Tag-Team Championship Series, Chris Malendez, Havok, lots and lots of material that could have made the show feel more meaningful.

Next week we finally get a new setting as TNA goes back to Pennsylvania.

Honestly, I miss the Impact Zone, I miss the stage, I miss the fireworks, I miss the production level.

Sure it was filled with Holiday goers and old people who obviously took a wrong turn, but it was special, it was “impactful”, it was TNA.

To think nearly 4 years ago TNA was about to explode, and it did for a short time. Since then it’s been going downhill, and now 4 years later, it seems to be falling apart.

Long Live TNA!

Here’s to a Revival in 2015!

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

TotalNonstopRewind

TheJobberBlogger

TheSteelChair

StrikeTapandGrapple

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

www.cageamateursuk.com

 

Monday Night Raw #1113: September 22, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

You obviously don’t see what I see. You are not using your third eye. Ask yourself truthfully: What sense would it make if Seth Rollins became World Wrestling Federation Champion now? How would the story play out? You dyam fool! That’s why people like me, The Infamous Informer, the Shadfather, Spotface & Mike Knoxxx are more intelligent than the average wrestling fan..we see things for what they are, and not what they appear to be. Ask yourself, if Dean Ambrose suddenly attacked Rollins at Night of Champions,  and say Rollins actually cashed his cheque and won, then how the f**k does the feud continue when Rollins also attacked Brock & Cena? Don’t give me that Fatal 4 Way crap… there are two separate feuds going on here. Use your BRRRRRAAAAIIIINNN!!!!! Brock Vs Cena Hell In A Cell, and Rollins Vs Ambrose. THAT’S THE WAY IT’S GOING! And Roman Reigns injury a ‘work’??? GETTHEF**KOUTTAHERE! How the f**k would you know? Go and wash yourself.. if you can fit in that bath… DYAM ARSE!

YOU DON’T SEE, WHAT I SEE, EVERYDAY AS MIKEY G! RAW #1113! Hol’Dat – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZYou know we make jokes about Dean Ambrose not paying his fare…. but I have a question – what if Ambrose paid the taxi driver the fare BEFORE the journey?

So W’happen? Ambrose turn ‘Authority’ now? Nothing is running until Rollins gets his roody poo…. candy @$$ out here…. what the f**k??? John your name is not Rollins!!! Why is he tryna hog the spotlight for? Let’s see what this fool has to say for himself…

Oh I get it… common enemy…here he is! Rollins with his Authority people dem! Triple starts talking sh!t about making matches, Cena & Ambrose ain’t tryna hear that – they wanna f**k up Rollins! But his legs did run! Him teef somebody cyar and garne! Why are Cena & Ambrose just standing there? Teef another car and go after his b!tch @$$!

Wait there let me think… Cena, Ambrose, Randall, Brock, Rollins… Glenn… why doesn’t Triple announce an Armageddon Hell In A Cell???? Now THAT would be MARK-OUT worthy!!! It has only been done once…

Oh f**k… it’s the battyman segment of the show… now Sandow got his replica of Miz’s title… look I’m not wasting my time penning this… I’m off to put my pizza on, and say hello to the spider that I killed earlier….

Just watching babestation at the moment…. GOD DAYUM SOPHIA LARES YOU BAAAAAAD!!!! I posted you last week, I’ll post a pic of you again!

Sophia Lares lawwd

Are you muthaf***az happy now? Ziggler won back the title…. f**k me…. grown men the world over are masturbating, I feel sorry for the women… no wonder they turn on each other… which is all good to me!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Zeb Colter – you are NOT funny. Bo Dallas Vs Wack Swagger – I don’t give a f**k! So far Sophia has entertained me more than those last two matches on Raw… well of course it would – a naked Trinidadian woman shaking her @$$? GOD DAYUUUM!

Let’s keep on the diva vibe! Natalya Vs Summer Rae…. Natalya is fine but Summer got Layla backing her…so I’m backing Summer Rae… well I The MAN in the PURPLE SUIT!was backing her…Summer going on like she’s all that… NO YOU’RE NOT!!!!

Apparently Summer Rae re-tweets her own tweets…. don’t make me unfollow you girl!

Well done Natalya! Twiss up Summer Rae and teach her manners! With your fine @$$…. even Rosa Mendes fancies your @$$… don’t believe me? You’ll see soon!!!

Well he’s here guys! Dean Ambrose…. so I guess that means Raw is the best show ever this week right? You deluded fools….

Why is Glenn coming out to Kane’s music? Shouldn’t he be coming out to generic rock music?

Ha! That blasted Rollins again teefing! If I was younger… I would probably be cussing the screen right now…. I find it hard to hate Rollins though… Triple H raised the bar for hatred on a heel! Very few have matched it.

See look you fools… Rollins has his issues with Ambrose… that needs to be sorted. But you jabronies wanted him to cash his cheque… I’m telling you – you wouldn’t know how to run a wrestling promotion… you would be out of business within 3 months….

Does Stephanie think that locking Dean Ambrose in a room guarded by security???? Ambrose is such a loose cannon that he’d probably walk through brick walls just to get his hands on Rollins!

Did Mike Cole borrow that suit from Vincent Kennedy???? What do you think folks????

Good booking by WWE to put Sheamus and the Usos to go against the Dust Brudda and Cesaro in six man tag team contest… arguably they had the best matches of Night of Champions…

Hold up – Seth & Glenn wanna be at ringside watching Randall Vs Cena??? UH-OH I SMELL ULTIMATE TEEF! Don’t tell me they gotta cinder block waiting for Cena as well??!!! Actually that might excite fans….

..and just as WWE were going to present the WWE2K15 trailer… it cuts into a commercial break…well not to worry, watch it right here! Don’t give me crap about ‘no gameplay footage… what if the super moves had that special camera angles? The idea of a trailer is to show you the flashy sh!t to sell the product! You don’t see what I see… that’s this weeks theme!

Oh man here’s my hero Mark Henry…. he let his people down, he let Lillian Garcia sing her heart out… he’s telling the fans to diss him basically… I know Rusev & Lana ain’t coming out to rub it in! Well they might as well!

I love it when Lana tells the crowd to Shut Up!!! Wait a minute – Lana wants Mark Henry to go against Rusev again??? Is that what you want??? WHOA!!!

Looks like Mark Henry still hurting… Come on Mark! Suck it up! You can’t lose again!

Rusev gets more and more impressive by the week! This guy is doing sh!t a big man like him is not supposed to!

Damn son…. BLACK PEOPLE – This is NOT a racist thing going on here! It’s simply wrestlonomics 101! That’s all it is! I can tell when a suspect racist thing his happening! I’ve seen Wack Swagger get worse than that from Rusev! Imagine if Rusev gets that US Title…. oh boy oh boy! The Ultimate Insult! USA might as well take a Japanese sword and perform a hara-kiri!!!

Say what? The Bunny is teaming with Adam Rose and is gonna fight? F**K THIS!!! You can speculate all day long that’s it’s a NXT guy.. probably is… what if I told you… that the bunny was KENTA/Hideo Itami??? Ok Ok I see you getting red in your faces and steam coming out your ears… I see your stomach growing and sh!t!!!! Calm the f**k down!

Hey the bunny got skills! Slater & Titus can’t manage him! I like that Jay-Bee cannot stand the bunny… one of these days the bunny will clap down Jay-Bee and I will be on the floor! I can see you jabronies creating the bunny on WWE2K15 when it drop…. you crazy people!!! Actually is Adam Rose in the game???? Probably DLC…

Wait a minute – you wanted support from your sister  in your divas title match Nikki??? After you done disrespect her and hit her with your Torture Rack super move?

So what – Nikki wants the Bella name all to herself? I suppose this is gonna lead to some stupid @$$ name on a pole match… If I was Brie I’d just give Nikki the name and done… be known as Brianna Danielson… or Brianna Bryan or whatever… end this foolishness you know why? Because I’m fed up of the wrestling dorks running these girls down, and they’d rather see Dolph Ziggler shake his @$$… they should be content he won the muthaf**!n title… lead by example – I hate Dolph Ziggler, so I changed the channel – I watched babestation… so why can’t these jabronies do it???

OH SNAP! #BunnyMania is trending! I bet Jay-Bee cannot be pleased! He was cussing like 5 minutes ago that it would never trend!

I’m starting to think that Nikki Bella has better wrestling skills than Brie!!! She has been really impressive! I think she should go for the WWE title… I think she can take Brock Lesnar!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

When Glenn comes out with Seth Rollins, and it’s Seth’s music playing…. that tells the story right there… Glenn is now irrelevant… damn… I wanna take this time to say Live On Live Long to the son of William Moody… damn, A year and a half later and now the son passes away? That ain’t good yo…

Cena got another shirt again? Keep Calm & Never Give Up??? BACKFOOT!!! Let’s face it… Cena got another 10 years left in him at best if this is how he’s going on!

I’m glad Seth & Glenn jumped in on that boring @$$ wrestling match between Cena & Orton… I’m telling you… sometimes pure wrestling matches just ain’t the way… sometimes you wanna see ruckus… ok what’s this surprise?

THAT’S THE SURPRISE!!! Tryna set Cena up for the cinder blocks… I knew Ambrose could walk through walls! How did he do it though??? It matters not… when the lunatic fringe attacks… THAT’S IT!!!

Backside – I ain’t gonna lie – I was switching between this and Babestation… fix up WWE… if Roman Reigns, Danny Bryan etc are injured, utilise who you got back there! SH!!!!!!!!!T!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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THE JOBBER BLOGGER #125 – TNA: NO SURRENDER – 17/9/14

THE JOBBER BLOGGER

Jobber-Blogger

The Jobber Blogger

I guess the time is ticking and sticking like a freshly licked lolly pop I dropped on my trousers.

Also known as Trouser Pop, an unknown genre of Pop Music and happens to be the title of a lesser known Hanson song.

hanson

That’s a good sign for things to come huh?

Yes it’s Sunday, it’s 8:55pm and I’ve got two hours to complete the Jobber Blogger before my eagerly awaiting fans gather round to read it. By fans, I mean two. By eagerly awaiting I mean… they aren’t.

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nosurrenderTNA: NO SURRENDER – 17/9/14

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Taryn Terrell vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love vs. Rebel vs. Brittany vs. Havok – #1 Number One Contenders Match – Knockouts Championship

Ah hah!

I actually remembered to follow up with my Predictions List! Yes, this makes everything much better and far more entertaining!

Also this happens to be the second time I remember to do it. So yay? The first was when Anderson had the “Committed” match with Shaw. When the hell was that?

No Surrender was pretty good, and TNA has been pretty damn good of late as it is. Even more praise is shooting out the kazoo for their latest Impact Tapings.

So kudos, and kazoodos for kicking off the Televised special with a Wrestling Match! You wouldn’t think it was that hard to get right, would you?

kazoo

I made the prediction that Havok would be the smart money to bet on, I was right. Too bad I went with Velvet huh?

Despite the chances in this match, it was really just to give Havok an exhibition. I don’t dislike her. I like to poke fun with the Disco Bane and Skrillex comments, but hey, makes me laugh. Isn’t that why I write this thing every week, to make myself laugh!? Of course it is.

discobane

Rebel takes a hard landing to the floor rolling down the Steel Steps, despite her not really being ring ready, on the ground of her breaking her arm. She does have a good look and seems to enjoy throwing herself down some steps. So, the future is bright?

However, her doing the splits to dodge, though “different”, highly impractical.

How’s that for journalism.

Havok Won – no face!

predictlost

blueline

Kenny King vs. Chris Malendez

This was an awkward impromptu match.

Here’s why this annoyed me. MVP and Kenny King headed to the ring to call out Malendez, to then give him this great opportunity of Carrying luggage.

Why was that scripted?

Why waste time with that crap? Malendez needs some work on the mic, but hey, first time. I can let that slide.

Then we immediately hit the territory, just like that. King goes on about how he’s only got one leg, go back to “Boot Camp”, blah blah blah.

Now I’m not going to pretend like I’m offended, because I’m really not. What bugs me is that Malendez gets the sympathy vote, I’m sure that’s the last thing he personally wants. Having someone who is obviously not a fit for the Wrestling business, be written as a Character who is not fit for the Wrestling business, who has people mock him, and then beat the crap out of him.

Why would you sign the guy?

You signed the guy because he’s impressive, because he’s 6ft plus, he has a good look, he’s strict, trained, a War Hero.

Don’t let him be an idiot who casually walks out to meet the bad guy and offered jobs of lackeys, then gets made fun of then beaten down.

The only people that wins over, are those who feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for him, it’s a horrible, horrible accident, but what empowers that, is his stride to overcome it.

What I don’t feel sorry for, is someone getting into the Wrestling business to suck ass at it. Again, I know he’s being Written this way, but how am I supposed to get on board with that, that doesn’t reflect on the sympathy angle where I cheer for him because “He’s very good, given his disability”. When you could have people cheer for him because “He’s Very Good”.

The entire match was Malendez getting the crap kicked out of him by Kenny, till in the end he Managed a roll up and won, then got beaten up even more.

Yay, this guy sucks! Well done TNA on signing someone who sucks, again!

This is my point, you tell me how good he is, you show me clips of how he can wrestle, you put Bully, Devon, Anderson and Kurt’s stamp of approval on him, then you write his character so he sucks and can’t defend himself.

What am I supposed to take from that?

Anderson came to the rescue, so I guess this is a learning curve type of thing. So who knows. But it’s TNA, so I can take a pretty damn good guess.

blueline

Homicide vs. Samoa Joe – X-Division Championship

I’m going to say it, the fact that this match took place, is ridiculous.

Sure, back in the day Homicide was a “guy” in the Division, but he’s never been great. Now you’ve got guys who are great, and they’ve been passed up literally for months to cater to the “Home field” advantage by bringing in crowd favourites to bury your talent.

Wow, you hired this awesome Luchador from Mexico, you’re right, he’s incredible. But he sucks compared to “Blam Blam” Homeboy I can do a freakin flip, Homicide.

He’s not even signed with you. So you use him to bury the guys you have signed to your roster.

Here’s a thought, screw the home field advantage and build your talent.

Guess what, Samoa Joe isn’t from New York, but people love him. Crazy Steve has barely done anything or given any screen time, and they love him too.

People respond to Tigre Uno because he’s so impressive in the ring. Give him the time.

Also lol –

homicideblamblamhomeboyI told you I make myself laugh.

Speaking of things that make me laugh, Tenay and Taz plugged the next round of Impact Tapings by saying “You can see yourself on TV!”

Which is one of two things, or in fact, both things!

Your struggling to sell tickets so you add in the extra boost of people being on TV, which is a poor, poor way to sell your product.

And number two, in a related sense, there will be so little people attending the TV Tapings, that you are Guaranteed to see yourself on Television.

Just saying.

Blam Blam hit a Cutter on Joe and didn’t win, thank fully. I hate the Cutter. But I also Love the Cutter. DDP was the guy, Orton uses it well, Bully pulls it out here and there. It bugs me when people use the same finishes. Least it’s not as annoyed as Taryn using it, but whatever.

The only good thing from Homicide using the Cutter is that Joe countered it into a joke – mid air, and won the match.

James Storm, Sanada and the new Super Manik then crashed the segment.

There is no reason, at all, for James Storm to be re-designing the X-Division as Cultural Luchadores.

My only hope is that Tigre Uno might actually get some better TV Time.

predictwonbluelineThe Hardyz vs. Team 3D vs. The Wolves – Ladder Match

Again, fairly obvious who was going to Win this match.

The first match in the Series, was freakin awesome! The Tables Match, wasn’t as good, still good, just not as good as I had hoped.

But then I always find Tables Match lack. They really aren’t all that exciting unless quite a few Tables are used. Hence my moan at only one member of the Team going through a Table. Which means people have to put themselves through a few tables, or they introduce other weapons to make them more entertaining.

However, Ladder Matches can be fantastic on their own. And also work better with more weapons.

If a match is So Good, you should just watch it.

There’s nothing I can say to do it justice, so just watch it.

This match was awesome, best in the Series so far and I will put into the Match of the Year Nomination, however! I might also take it out given on how good the final match in the Series is, and people are saying IT IS AMAZING!

Super hyped!

Sucks it’s not at BFG though.

The Wolves pick up the win.

predictwonnoface bluelineBram vs. Gunner

This match happened.

Not sure why they put it between the top two matches of the card.

Earlier on in the night Gunner told Shaw that Brittany has a thing for him, to which he replies “My mind is already occupied with someone else”.

Billy and Chuck, I’m telling you.

gunnerandshawandanderson

Gunner “injured” his knee, Shaw went crazy and got involved, accidently clothesline’d Gunner and Bram picked up the win.

Despite the crap story with Gunner and Shaw, Bram’s rise to the top is quite interesting. They keep pushing how good he is. And guess what, I believe it. Because he’s impressive, he wins, he fights, he doesn’t back down. Not like Malendez, who gets his ass kicked because he politely turned down being a lackey! Why would I like that!!!?

bluelineBobby Roode vs. Bobby Lashley – World Heavyweight Championship

I wonder if Lashley will be called Bobby again now?

Another thing that goes through my head is wondering what Roode was thinking when he decided to wear some crappy looking sex jacket to the ring.

His Robe was awesome. It worked. This looks terrible.

Something else that is pretty damn awesome, is Lashley’s new music. I’ve always liked it, but I enjoy how it just changes the mood. He feels like a force. I like that.

Which brings me to what I really, really don’t like.

Lashley rolls out the ring and MVP calls for a Time-Out, and the ref lets them have it. MVP and King wipe his face, and continue to get involved.

Lashley should not have these guys outside for him. He’s supposed to be this beast, he’s supposed to be unstoppable.

When you give him help, he looks weak. He shouldn’t be booked weak. You shouldn’t have his friends wiping his face! No!! That’s just No….Nooo!! NOOO!!

NooooooooooooFanHe’s even doing a Face-Palm… could it get any better!

Do you know what I do like, is the Roode Bomb. I enjoy the move, but I detest the name.

Utterly stupid name for a super cool move.

What makes it cooler is Roode using it to “Roode Bomb” Lashley right to the floor, and Credit to Lashley for taking it, literally right to the floor. Looked really painful, and also really cool!

In the end though Roode leap frogged Lashley’s attempted Spear and “injured” his leg, to which Lashley then speared him and won.

I don’t know quite where to place the match.

The match was really good! Really good! But it’s not so memorable. I also feel this isn’t done yet.

Which means!

predictwonnoface

I knew Lashley was going to win well before this match was going to take place, EY spoiled it in an interview I read. So technically the Prediction doesn’t count!

bluelineRight now, I’m in the mood for Bound for Glory.

I want a great PPV just like Slammiversary was.

Though with all the problems in TNA right now, the booking, change arounds, no matches are really being built for the Biggest show of the year, in Japan of all places. The only thing they are building is James Storm’s revolution.

Who knows.

Till then.

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

www.TheJobberBlogger.wordpress.com

www.TheStealChair.com

www.StrikeTapandGrapple.com

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)www.cageamateursuk.com

Monday Night Raw #1112: September 15, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

PEACE TO THE GODS & EARTHS! KNOWLEDGE, KNOWLEDGE, KNOWLEDGE, WISDOM.

85%ers… I just quoted Supreme Mathematics. Only the 5% know what I just did here. 10% IWC b!tches step back and continue eating your monosodium glutamate, and polysorbate and drunk grape concentrate, with sodium benzoate!

Sorry I’m a Champion, as we enter the Night of Champions! RAW #1112! Hol’Dat – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZNo messing about! Paul Heyman’s here! John Cena is here! Is Brock Lesnar here? because if not, it’s YO @$$ PAUL HEYMAN!!!! Cena said he will F**k you up!

Haha Heyman made Cena look fool!!!! Look at him! Waiting for Brock for a fight like a dyam arse! Well – Brock’s private jet is delayed – Cena – KICK HIS F**K!N @$$!!! Don’t wait til no halftime Cena – KICK HIS @$$! Why has Cena got Heyman in a headlock??? Stop this nonsense Cena! I’d be throwing fists and fire on Heyman! Hey I’m a big Heyman fan… but it’s like this – if Brock comes and f**ks you up Cena, it’s your fault… just like you let Nikki Bella freeze her eggs, when there are nuff man out there dying to be a father! They’d shoot up her club in a heartbeat!

Oh snap – GREAT BOOKING BY JOHN CENA!!! Heyman locked away in Cena’s locker room, guarded by the not so Great Khali! Remember back in the days? I think it was 2007 when the not so Great Khali tried to squeeze Cena’s head top and kill him? How times have changed…

Look at this… Chris Jericho Vs ‘Glenn’… did Mike Cole just call him the Big Red Monster? I see no monster, I see a big bumblehead fool in school trousers!

If my hero Kane wrestled as Jacob Goodnight… even Bray Wyatt would see his white trousers turn yellow! WWE Creative simply have no sense sometimes!

Great win for Jericho, another loss for Glenn. I love Kane, hate Glenn. CHU!!!

You mean to tell me Mark Henry has athletes sending video messages supporting him in his fight against Rusev? Oh man Mark best not let his people down… all this police brutality, all sorts of sh!t…. he got more weight on him than Wack Swagger, who is fighting against Bo Dallas… and I BO-Lieve Dallas can win!

I like that chant going on! WE-THE-PEOPLE – – – WE BO-LIEVE!!!! I BO-LIEVE!!!! Come on kid! You are an inspiration to us all!

Good adding on to his Arsenal… Bo Dallas putting hand on his heart saying – WE BO-LIEVE before coming off the top ropes! NICE! It’s a shame he didn’t connect with the knee drop though…

OH F**K – Dallas taps out to the Ankle Patriot lock…. DAMNIT…. no more victory lap for Dallas now…. B@$+@rd!!!

COMING NEXT! Brie & AJ Lee combine their force against Paige & Nikki! Who am I backing? I care not… Whoever Loses, I WIN! I wonder, is

The MAN in the PURPLE SUIT!this the part where Brie finds herself in the divas championship match???

F**K it – I hate this skipping sh!t! If I ever catch my baby girl skipping like its yellow brick road– our relationship is OVER!

Oh dear – Brie – you got no skills, or as my sis would say, Brie you got no barz! Your @$$ ain’t going in that title match! Paige with the Rampaige super move… Brie couldn’t get up after that…and then after the match Nikki Bella shuts Brie down with her torture rack super move – BLAOW!!!

I’m sorry Shadfather but the Great Khali could win star of the week here! I can’t believe Paul Heyman tried to escape out of the locker room to call his client… but Khali brukk up Heyman’s phone! Oh no! How is Heyman gonna tweet his followers???

Where is Vincent Kennedy when you need him? Mike Cole just did an epic fail – he called John Cena – The world’s largest athlete??? You got two choices Cole – BE FIRED or the alternative…. GET IN THE CHAIR!!!! Better than that – Where’s the Rock? So he can put his most electrifying T-Shirt over Cole’s foolish head top????

LAWWD have mercy! The Big Show! 7ft 2! The Big Show! 441lbs! Double chokeslammed The Wyatt Bwoy into the canvas – BLAOW! That should have went through the ring tuh blodclart!

Big up the Uso brudda! I like that these guys have had an incredible run with the tag titles… it took them so long to capture the titles and even I thought they would have dropped em sooner… more power to em!

Was that ANOTHER Epic Fail by Mike Cole? He just asked Jay-Bee and Lawler – ‘Did Cody just meow’??? I thought his name was Stardust??? I thought Cody Rhodes didn’t exist????? (Obviously in storyline terms IWC don’t get your dirty Y-Fronts in a twist!)

If Raw starts at 8pm EST, 1am UK, isn’t 9:30pm EST 2:30am UK HALFTIME???? Cena said if Brock doesn’t show up by half time Heyman will get f**ked up… well it’s halftime now!!! I see no Brock…. Cena – KICK HIS F**K!N @$$!!!!!

STC NOC BANNER The Uso Brudda, The Dust Brudda, Sheamus & Cesaro always put on great matches, if you not down with the Night of Champions card this Sunday… I’ll take that wrestling card!!!! Now go over there and watch the only way is Essex… you dumb rarse!

BORN DAY SHOUT OUT TO THE DON! THEODORE LONG!!!! SALUTE THIS MAN!!!! LOOK AT HIM… WHAT A PLAYA!

Theodore-Long-With-Renee Word on the street is that Jericho is leaving again after Night of Champions…. and the announcers are making a big deal out of Randall kicking Jericho in his head costing him a few months of his career…why have I got that feeling that Randall is gonna do it again???

OHHHHH HERE WE GO!!!! KICK HIS F**K!N @$$!!!!! GIVE HIM THE BEATING CM P**K CAN ONLY DREAM OF!

Don’t waste time Cena! Stop chat – drop 16 suplexes on his @$$! I don’t care if he’s a 49-year-old father of 2, I don’t care if he’s acting with the benefit of intellect…. KICK HIS @$$!!!

Even the crowd want you to whupp his @$$! oh no…. Heyman got in your head…. goddamnit!!!! HERE COMES THE PAIN! HERE WE GO!!!

After mad mind games…. you know Brock the Conqueror couldn’t resist… he got in the ring… one German Suplex – BLAOW! Cena is like – OH SNAP! But Brock turn his back give Cena, Next minute Cena rushes Brock! Fist and fire! left’s and rights! Is Nikki getting wet backstage??? Is she thinking – f**k this egg freezing sh!t, I’m gonna jump on his d!ck and my vaginal walls is gonna trap him!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

That’s it Mike Cole – give the kids hope, because come Night of Champions… the Conqueror, BRRROCK Lesnar… is gonna brukk up Cena’s clart! I call it the battle between Kenshiro and Raoh the Conqueror in Fist Of the North Star!

fist-of-the-north-star-kens-rage-2kenshiro_vs_raohSo Cameron isn’t going to NXT after all? She’s gonna fight Naomi right here and now…. excuse me while I shed tears….

Good style out by Cameron when she pinned Naomi’s breasts to the mat instead of her back for the pinfall! HA! HA! Girl you don’t need to go to NXT!!! But that Sasha Banks though…. She and Cameron would make a great team!

There’s chants for Naomi! while Cameron has improved her fighting style! What sort of submission was that from Naomi??? WHOA!!!! Everytime I see Naomi fight she adds another move to her style! Give this woman the belt NOW!!!!! Well let her fight the winner between AJ, Nikki and Paige first…

I heard about this – Ziggler got his stunt double…. R-Truth…. I am DISGUSTED. I have lost respect for R-Truth, wearing pink brief and shaking his @$$…. F**k this… I’m off to watch babestation…. I’m a fan of that Sophia Lares lady… good gawd almighty!

BwimvOlCEAAyBvu.jpg largeI’D GO GRANTINGTON STEELE UP IN DAT @$$!

Did Seth Rollins just make a racist gesture about Roman Reigns???? Acting like a gorilla and sh!t????!!! OH HELL NAWWW!! I didn’t think that was funny. Roman – F**K him up!!! He might as well have said, Roman, I’m coming for you n!**@!

So wait there… if we are getting Seth Rollins Vs Roman Reigns now… does that mean at Night of Champions they will fight again in a stipulation??? I hope that is so!

F**K it Roman – get disqualified – Rollins made a racist comment about you and your Samoan heritage… send for the steel chair and beat his backside!

Oh blast – a victory by Reigns in a straight up wrestling contest…. GOD DAMNIT…. I HATE WRESTLING MATCHES!!! Only joking! I just think that when stars cut a promo where they say certain things about their opponent, I expect that sh!t to be delivered you feel me?

Interesting booking by WWE – Rusev & Mark Henry segment last???? Why is this? Is Mark Henry gonna strip Lana naked or something? (PG GRANT) GOD DAMNIT!!!! Lana would be crazy in TV-14 mode! She is Debra 2.0.! Let the truth be told! She has mastered d!ck teasology 101!

GRANT BODY – P!

The question remains – will the crowd support Mark Henry like they did Wack Swagger? You dun know me, Mike Knoxxx and Spotface will be watching this closely…

As much as I love the ‘What?’ chant…. the crowd doing this against the man who is supposed to be supporting the States?

Oh no! Lana put Mark Henry on blast!!!! He failed in the 1992 Olympic games! And Lana showed the true champion he represented Russia! OH SNAP!!! Dayuuum Henry how you gonna come back from this?

By pledging allegiance to the flag???? Well yeah but NO! Rusev tries to attack Henry!!! But Check it – Rusev, tries for the Accolade super move! Henry fights out of it! Sets up Rusev – Sit out chokeslam – BLAOW!!! Is that a new super move???? I hope so! He’s gonna need it! Henry made a promise to not let his people down! YES!!!! THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!!! I need to send for my Mark Henry shirt on Sunday and represent!!!!

OFFICIAL STC ANTHEM FOR NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS: SKYZOO – LIKE A SHOTGUN

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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The Jobber Blogger #124 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 10/9/14

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The Jobber Blogger

I’ve never really been that into South Park. I can respect Matt and Tray, I like their thinking and stance. Not so much their humour.

But if there is one thing they got right, it’s:

americaThe best way to poke fun at how much Americans love themselves. I will be honest, I sort of sucks that the majority of the UK really isn’t that patriotic. UK and USA are two vastly different things to Chant.

I suppose though, when this episode of Impact was filmed, it would have aired on September 11th, in New York. So that’s cool, I get it.

I can understand the thinking of American Hero’s, and War Hero’s, but a lot of the time, you only hear negative things. What makes one of these guys a Hero? So many good Men and Women serve, but the ones who get injured or traumatized seem to be those that are worthy of Heroism.

I’m not going to kick off the Jobber Blogger by saying anything too much on that subject, but of course this all plays into the opening of the show, which as it is, has a lot of problems.

bluelineImpact Wrestling LogoTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 10/9/14

bluelineChris Malendez vs. DJ Z

Under no circumstances can TNA convince me they Signed Malendez because he’s a great Talent, they signed him because of the reputation, the media and the publicity that goes a long with it.

Chris’ story is awesome, I think he’s hugely admirable. But I just can’t see a bright future for him. I’m not sure how long he’s signed to TNA for, but I would be surprised if he’s still around by the time his contract his up.

A one legged Wrestler, makes headlines, a one legged American Hero draws attention.

So let’s not beat it round the busy anymore shall we, is Chris Malendez impressive, simple, Yes.

But why.

He’s only impressive because of his limitation. Now if he had two legs, he wouldn’t have been anywhere close to working with TNA.

Let’s be fair shall we, his current in ring skill is based on his condition, and it is great. As someone who Hated Zack Gowen, I like Malendez. I think he has a good look, he’s impressive, agile, strength, awesome tattoos, cool music.

But to be able to Defeat DJ Z with a Samoan Drop, nope, not happening.

There is no way, At All that Malendez would ever be capable of defeating anyone on the TNA Roster. Just not possible.

For a “Sport” that struggles enough to find legitimency, adding a guy with a Winning Streak with one leg who really can’t Wrestle anywhere close to the Level of the TNA Roster, that just pisses me off.

I’m not trying to make this personal. I love his story, he seems like an awesome guy. Totally happy for him. But there is no way you can put him in the ring with Austin Aries, and expect that to be a great match. He wouldn’t be able to compete with him. DJ Z hit a Chop Block, it’s already looked as “Such a Heel move!” because he has one leg, it’s freakin’ Wrestling.

Imagine Aries running Circles around him, drop kicking him on the floor, diving over the ropes at him, he wouldn’t be able to do anything, and yet Malendez might beat him, with a Samoan Drop?

I noticed some of the padding fell off his False Leg, Gowen Wrestled without his prosthetic, a giant thick Metal Pole might cause some Damage for a guy who lands on it. Or has it land on them.

That seems like an accident waiting to happen.

Also I said this last time, but Bully and Devon’s Wrestling School, given the talent who has come from it that turned up in TNA, they need better training.

So Malendez beat Zema, which just shouldn’t happen. I get the “push”, but you only push him so far. Or by all means, push him up against Bobby Lashley, see what happens then. I seem to remember Lesnar obliterating Gowen. So you can copy that Storyline.

Samoan Drop my ass, he would have landed harder on a Back Drop, and no one loses on a Back Drop!

bluelineBobby Roode, Eric Young and Samoa Joe vs. MVP, Kenny King and Bobby Lashley

A nice 6man Tag to build up some much needed speed between Roode and Lashley’s collision next week.

Speaking of things I can do without, is the “tip toeing” around between Roode and EY. They’ve not ran the Video Package of “They were once like Brothers!” but you better believe it’s coming.

RoodeEyBrothers

It was literally a few months back when Roode and EY started building this “mutual respect” thing before Roode’s face turn. All on the heels of their history, Team Canada mainly, and that they’re both Canadians. And in case if you forgot, in Canada, a Deal is a Deal!

Welcome to Canada

Roode and EY are throwing around “You’re my Best Friend” in a bucket of sick love more than Barney the Dinosaur.

I can’t stand it. Why are you pushing this so much? If it’s anything like, oh I don’t know, EVERY OTHER TIME! TNA have pushed friendship, one of them is going to turn on the other. At this rate, it looks like EY might have an issue with Roode. Then we shall get the “They were once like Brothers!” Video Package of Bobby Roode screaming “You were my best friend!” which sobbing into a wet fish…. with a beard.

roodefish

The Line that made you Face Palm with your inner palm was Roode saying “EY, you will always be a World Champion to me!”

I bet Roode himself cringed when he read that script.

It pisses me off, it’s like TNA feel this need to pander to the audience so much because they are mainly thick!

Stop telling me the same thing! I got it from them hugging and knowing history, sorted. I don’t need them to tell me it again, and again and again, whilst the announcers and video packages repeat it for me. If they had their way Roode and EY would be kissing each other on the cheek, slapping each others’ ass and getting Married like Billy and Chuck.

billyandchuckseano

Okay so I’m have a good ranting session this week, it brings out my best material.

Guess what else pissed me off, Roode giving Lashley the “My heart is bigger” speech.

Let’s see, He’s Bigger, Tougher, Stronger, Faster, but the fact you can withstand his onslaught longer makes you think you will win? No, it means you will get your ass kicked just that little bit longer, before you inevitably lose.

Roode was such a good heel, now he’s becoming the whining do goody, Baby face that likes your favourite Ice Cream, Saturday night Television and Cuddles!

The crowd was good.

Roode won by defeating MVP with his Roode Bomb… the worst named Finisher going. It’s not even a Bombing type manoeuvre.

bluelineThe Bromans and Velvet Sky vs. Knux, Crazy Steve and Rebel

Do you know what this booking means.. ROB TERRY SUCKS!

Rob Terry Train

I don’t like Rob Terry, I don’t like the pairing of The Bromans with the Beautiful People (though I suspect they are out for their own motives), or that they will split and The Bromans will choose Bro’s over Ho’s. Probably happen.

This is the first time we’ve seen Rebel wrestle. She’s not good. To make matters worse she recently broke her arm. Apparently she’s very under trained. Which is a shame, I like her with Knux.

Which brings us to the best bit!

crazysteve

Now I believe he’s probably much better in the ring than we’ve ever seen. But the Character, is awesome. He makes it work, and he’s just on a whole different level. Knux, Terry, Rebel, all quite easily could be fired tomorrow and the entire Menagerie thing can carry on just fine without them.

Aside from the fact that the whole meaning of the name is a group of course.

Velvet picks up a win by holding the trunks of Rebel… too much.

blueline

EC3 vs. Rhino – Street Fight

I cannot believe that I just wrote “Street Fish!”

I’ve corrected it of course, but the fact my instinct went to Fish, amuses me greatly.

streetsharks

I suppose a Street Fish is pretty much a Street Shark, and they were awesome.

This whole thing kicked off with Kurt Angle, Mr. Fish himself, with his puckered up sucker lips.

Kurt Fish

Angle has never felt genuine, or real in his entire run as the Executive Director. He sounds so de-motivated that I just don’t believe a single word out of his mouth.

Things like “I…look..forward..to…being…here…each…..and…….ev…er..y weeeeeeek”.

I got bored typing that.

What I did like however was the whole “You don’t look like you’re ready to Wrestle.. good, I won’t make you… it’s a Street Fight!” Or fish, I’m easy.

The match was what it was.

Thankfully EC3 won, this whole thing is putting over EC3 more than anything else. Was that the point?

The crowd seemed to be enjoying cheering for him too. Hey, whatever, Rhino sucks.

I get the thinking of Rhino being a New York guy, given his ECW heritage. But when you put him as a mindless idiot, even if he decides he wants to eat a guys Ass (his words, not mine), no body cares, because you booked him as a mindless idiot.

There’s only one thing I want to see now, is that mindless idiot get his ass kicked. So I’ve enjoyed it.

bluelineThe new Knockouts Calandar is now a Storyline, so that’s exciting. Nothing sets the Knockouts Division apart from the Divas more than letting them post for a Calander in their skimpiest clothes then fall out with each other over who is prettier and petty jealousy.

That worked wonders.

And just like you would suspect, Velvet and Angelina are having issues again. Why, dear lord, why, do they need to be this way? Why does it have to be Angelina forcing herself as the dominent one. Why can’t they just be bad together.

I hate that.

Clearly Angelina is the leader, because it’s a Wrestling business and Velvet struggles to run the ropes, let alone anything more complicated then that. Case closed, facts are facts people.

ODB is in the Calandar.. but not the Company. Flaw number one.

Brooke is in the Calander, not seen her in how long?

Then Disco Bane crashed the party with some of that Dubstep’z and stole Gail’s Knockouts Championship. Which led them to fight each other for a while.

Also Bane beat up some guys, Taz seemed suprised. I do like the fact that they picked the skinniest guys around. Not really head turning levels of impressive.

Could be worse though, she could be Chyna. Come to TNA for one match, fall over whilst picking up Jarrett then leaving right away to go back to Porn…. and look like a man.

Wow… I’m brutal this week! I like it!

bluelineJames Storm and The Great Sanada vs. Austin Aries and Tajiri

I always thought some objects, tools and lark would be universal. Like a Spanner, it would still be Spanner in a different country, just a different name, same job.

Yet apparently in Japan their tools are a little different. Evidently their Buzz Saws must be rather slow, dull, out of shape and boring.

“You still got it!” – Funny, I don’t remember a time when he had it.

The great leader James Storm, who won his first match in ages by being on the Winning team, seems like an odd fit for the character he’s playing.

Again, I like the idea behind it. I just don’t like the execution. I don’t think the Silver Bathrobe and Beer Bottle make Storm look like Revolutionary Leader. He looks like a Drunk who got a shower in his robe.

bluelineTeam 3D vs. The Hardyz vs. The Wolves – Tables Match

Another good match, but still not on the Level I’m looking for.

I hate to say it, but Matt really seems a step behind everyone else and it’s rather noticeable.

My originally prediction was quickly turned around when I realised the pattern. Which now means, it’s less impressive.

The Wolves are going to win in the Ladder Match next week, then I imagine we will have Full Metal Mayhem, combining the Tables and the Ladders. Much like how TLC was put together originally.

This isn’t really a problem, only that you know who will win. But you don’t know, is who will win the actual match that matters, which would be the final one.

Another thing I dislike about Tag-Team Tables matches, is that One guy needs to go through a Table. I get that it can get rather confusing after a while, but both guys need to go through a Table for a match to be won. That’s the best way to do it!

The Hardyz picked up the win with Jeff dropping a Swanton from the top rope to the floor putting Eddie through a Table.

Also how naff do the Wolves look now, losing twice, and Eddie being the deciding factor both times (I believe).

Jeff climbed up a Ladder whilst Matt dragged his sorry ass as high as he could, out of breath, panting he issued the Challenge for next week.

bluelineWhich brings us to next week – No Surrender!

Knockouts Battle Royal

Homicide vs. Samoa Joe

Hardyz vs. Team 3D vs. Wolves – Ladder Match

and

Bobby Lashley vs. Bobby Roode – World Championship

bluelineYay, time for the Predictions!

I forgot to do this segment the last few times, so let’s drop it like it’s hot.

If the Knockouts Battle Royal is for the Championship then Gail will Win.

If it’s a Number One Contenders.. the smart choice would be Havok, but I will go with Velvet.

Samoa Joe will retain, it’s insulting to think any other way.

The Wolves will win.

Bobby Lashley will win.

bluelineTill then!

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

www.TheJobberBlogger.wordpress.com

www.TheSteelChair.com

http://www.StrikeTapandGrapple.com

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)www.cageamateursuk.com

Monday Night Raw #1111: September 8, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

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The Infamous Informer

I love this song… but I hate Domestic Violence to the CORE. A man who hits a woman, is not a MAN. From that day forward, that man becomes a B!TCH. That’s what I think of you RAY RICE. I have seen it too many times too so many women that I care for. At the same time, that’s what happens when women think bad guys carry the swing. Yes they carry a bat that will swing to your face! See that’s why they don’t condone that sh!t in WWE now… it used to be ‘cool’ in TV-14 standards with women going through tables and women getting tombstoned into the concrete floor. Big ups to the Baltimore Ravens for kicking that b!tch @$$ out of their team. He instantly gets the Official DYAM ARSE AWARD… Raymond Mourice Rice: GET IN THE CHAIR!!!! AND SHUDDUP!

I hope Jerry Springer brings Steve out with him to sort this Bella madness out… RAW #1111: HOLD DAT – BLAOWWWW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

World Wrestling Federation

Say what? We just gonna have the steel cage match now??? Ok here we go!!!! Bray Wyatt! Chris Jericho!!! Somebody’s gonna get buss arse in that muthaf***a!

Did Bray just say – Baltimore: We’re Here??!!!! Expect a heel to throw shots at Mr Rice…

Jericho: remember what I told you last week about bringing a steel chair with you??? Why didn’t you bring it? Dude – you gon lose – Wyatt got his fam with him… if the mighty John Cena could not defeat him, I’m afraid I’ve got some baaaad news..

LAWWD HAVE MERCY!!!! Chris Jericho, climbing to the top of the cage… ready to escape but the fam ain’t having it, so what does he do? jumps off and splashes onto Bray Wyatt! MAAAAAAD!!!

But as Jericho tries to escape through the door, Wyatt mounts on top of him beating him down, and yes, that didn’t look right! Somehow Wyatt wins, but they want to destroy Jericho!!! NO!!! Destroying the injured knee of Jericho, then dragging his carcass back in the ring… Sister Abigail – BLAOW!!!!! DAYUUUM!

Now Randall wants to destroy Roman Reigns, by Triple’s permission! “What does he mean?” Asks Mike Cole…. YOU DUMMY – He’s gonna kick Reigns in his head!!!! He might draw for the hammer himself! Handcuff Reigns to the ring and brukk him up! What did you think he meant you BIG DUMMY!

Oh no Dolph ‘battybwoy’ Ziggler? F**k this sh!t… I’m gonna check on my washing!

…or maybe not… exposing photos of The Miz on some faggotry is entertaining…. hang on – The Miz will sue all of us if we republish the photos???? Isn’t that a shot at CM P**K being a b!tch over those wedding photos… like my dude RZA said… if you don’t want those personal photos exposed on the internet… DON’T TAKE THEM!

The internet is a public domain…. use COMMON SENSE!

My favourite diva of the moment is here! Dayuuuum Rosa Mendes… here’s hoping for another wardrobe malfunction! She teams with Natalya’s sexy @$$ going against AJ P**K and that pale looking Paige…. she look like she died last week and sh!t!

SAM_3700

The Informer With Cage Amateurs UK Tshirt

Big ups to the women chanting for AJ Lee… acknowledging her existence properly, not like the chi-chi man in attendance! Rosa – you should have tagged Nattie… what the hell’s wrong with you? You tryna prove something – so far you’re proving that you’re worse than Eva Marie!

What the rarse??? What the hell did Randall do that for? What did Jericho do to you Randall? Beat down Jericho for no reason! So what if it’s the muthaf***!n season première???? I don’t give a f**k! there’s no off-season in WWE you big DUMMY!

PAUL HEYMAN IN THE HIZ-HOUSE!! SSSSHHHHH…… PAY ATTENTION….

Yet I walk thee in the shadow of Cenation, I shall fear no Thuganomics!!!! Heyman has done it again!!! Lyric of the week!

Paul Heyman just revealed the secret formula to defeat Brock Lesnar! What you do Cena… is TURN EVIL!!! But we know that ain’t gonna happen! Cena drops a dissertation to Heyman on why he can never turn evil… same story – for the kids, for the people who fight for his country…. Remember what I said earlier, that a heel would take a shot at the Baltimore Ravens… that man turned out to be Paul Heyman! To think…. that Kane tried to tell Cena… Roddy Piper tried to tell him, and now Paul Heyman… if arguably the greatest wrestling manager of all time can’t convince Cena, y’all Cena haters might as well abandon hope. Eat, Sleep, Be John Cena, Repeat…that’s why I don’t jump on the Cena hating bandwagon, I don’t follow sheeple. I’m the Infamous Informer, Undertaker fan to the end, Ziggler hater, The Rock is my inspiration… and I Never Change!

 

Who you know like Grant????

Damn Lana you have a lovely singing voice…. we gotta get Lana to sing the national anthem for WrestleMania 31! And I like the Russian national anthem! It’s very catchy if I do not say so myself! Listen to the passion behind the Russian singers! SHOW SOME RESPECT DAMNIT! Look at Jerry Lawler and JBL… dem bex!!!! HA! HA! HA!

NXT Takeover looking BIG! I wanna see this KENTA dude… he sounds like an OFFICIAL BAD MAN!!! The last PPVs were crazy! I wanna see this Charlotte Flair fight as well…

BACKSIDE!!! NXT TAG TEAM ACTION ON RAW!!!! YO I CAN’T WRITE…. I’ll be back in a few minutes…

BUMBACLART!!!! This Adrian Neville is a bad man! That Red Arrow super move is INSANE!!! I’ve seen Sami Zayn fight before…Excellent strategy Triple TEEF! Put your NXT mans on Raw to promote the PPV! THE GRANT SAYS – SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!!!

Enough of that sh!t…. it’s time for Jerry Springer!!! I’m a Maury guy myself… but neither Bella is pregnant and no one is the father, so I can’t see Cena or Danny doing any dancing any time soon…

Jerry springer BellaWait a minute – Jason is the security guard? Where’s Steve???? He was the man!!!!

Brie Bella got new entrance music! It sounds like some Cheryl Cole sh!t!!! Anyway moving on…

Nikki I’m disappointed in you! Why did you go fist and fire with your sister on some vintage Jerry Springer sh!t?!

What de rarse??? The parents involved via satellite, the brother is now in the ring? Stop this nonsense and get it over with and fight!

Oh snap! Springer is hurt! Where’s the security??? Maybe he was a dutty bwoy and letting the Bellas fight! The security should be fired!!!! Steve would never let that happen… he’d make sure he’d grab one of the Bella’s by her breasts and break up the scuffle! We couldn’t even get a Final Thought from Jerry…. maybe Jeremy Kyle is the one that can sort it out! Jerry ain’t getting any younger! Jeremy cusses his ignorant guests and feels no way!

WWE send their condolences to Joan Rivers….She did her thing in WWE back in the day…but The Grant Says – F**K JOAN RIVERS!!! Word is she disrespected the Palestinians on some bullsh!t… you have to pay penalties for that sh!t word up!

I gotta question, if the bunny from Adam Rose’s party crew drops the super kick on Heath Slater and jumps off the top ropes and splashes on Titus, does that make him the next Shawn Michaels???? If not then you wrestling fans are retarded as hell! Doph Ziggler does that same sh!t – but you call him the next Shawn Michaels???? DISRESPECT!

Why have I got this feeling that the cage is gonna come down on Randall & Roman Reigns and Randall is gonna proceed to f**k up Reigns in the cage?

That’s it – rights and lefts from both men…none of this elbow tie-up crap! BRING THE RUCKUS!

Damn steel steps are everywhere! I don’t think Randall is out to win this match… it’s all about f**k!n Roman up!

WTF is this! TEEEEEEEF!!! Seth is out here, Glenn is out here, what did I say??!!! The cage ah come down!!!!! SOMEBODY GONNA GET F**KED UP TONIGHT!!!

MY GOD NO!!!! Seth Rollins, from the top of the cage! Landing on Reigns! Glenn with the chokeslam! Randall with a vicious assault with the chair! Then Seth with that Curb Stomp to Reigns headtop – BLAOW!!! OH LAWWWD Reigns dead now!

Reigns… you know what you gotta do? Take them out, one by one? Learn from your older cousin, watch what he did… if you do this next week… you are sure to succeed…

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Jobber Blogger #123 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 3/9/14

The Jobber BloggerJobber Blogger Birthday logo2One, Two, Three! It’s as easy as A,B,C for all of those Jackson 5 fans out there! On a side note, I keep seeing Michael Jacksons new album in stores…. I’m curious to buy it, I found his last few Albums to be of a lesser standard, given the odd occasional song. Perhaps he’s found more inspiration now… you know, being dead an all.

Wow, now that was dark to start off this weeks Jobber Blogger. But hey, it’s not that dark, it’s not like I’m wanted for murder and used it as a platform to taunt such actions. I just think its ridiculous to put out an album. Ah who cares.

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What you should care about is that I have actually started The Jobber Blogger on Sunday! It is exaxctly 6:37pm! So I’m not late yet! Of course I need to write the entire thing, create all the stupid pictures and then go post it around everywhere on the internet for no body to read! UP YOURS NO BODY!

Impact Wrestling Logo

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TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 3/9/14

Yes we’re in September! Holy bat fanny packs everybody, we’re sailing toward Christmas! I also have a strange feeling I’ve been doing this for two years or more now. I seem to have missed my Second Birthday! So lets Celebrate it today along with my Dad’s Birthday! Wooo!!!

If only we could celebrate TNA’s success!

MVP, Kenny King and Bobby Lashley kicked off the show. It’s about damn time Lashley takes centre stage and actually is starting to feel important and significant as the World Champion. Which in an ironic way, this entire opening segment was the exact opposite of important and significant.

It’s a shame to see that Wrestling is still stuck in that territory of saying the blatantly obvious remarks.

MVP blabbed on about how no body is tougher than Lashley, and then out came Samoa Joe to tell Lashley “he’s not even the toughest one in the ring right now”.

Oooo big talk, and then a match was made, which could have been done without this fart of an opening.

The only positive was that in New York, Joe draws a huge reaction, so it was kind of cool. Just ridulously Childish.

Least they skipped the part where they shout about each others asses.

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Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim – Knockouts Championship

I really don’t get the hype between these two. Their matches were good, this one was less good. Still good though.

The fact they made a video package for the match stating it to be the “toughest rivalry in knockouts history”. Really? Has it been the absolute toughest?

Because I seem to remember Taryn being a ref, Gail pushed her around, she got put on the roster, they had two matches, then she left. All of the above took around what, 1 and a half months? Then she came back for a couple of matches and now she’s this big deal that has a history no one else has. Meh.

Hot mess, no sense.

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Although the Knockouts are fantastic and are capable of having awesome, awesome wrestling matches, things like doing a Neck-Breaker on the Steel Steps because they are women, seem to be the proving ground.

Quite honestly, I think Gail is capable of having much better matches, and she doesn’t need an opponent who will throw herself on the floor to prove how good she is. I get it, women taking big risks and doing big spots, you don’t see it often. But there is a style and a fenes that comes with the territory. Mickie James vs. Tara in the Cage, sure they did some big spots, but they performed on a level that was worthy of the main event, regardless of the Cage.

Bugs me is all.

Taryn then kicked out of Eat da Feet, which bugged me more.

Least she didn’t win. I don’t dislike her, I’m just not crazy about her either. She’s not ready to beat Gail for the Championship.

Though she might take the belt at Bound for Glory, which I think was the plan last year?

Then much to my surprise Skrillex showed up.

I actually bought Recess (his latest Album) his Music skills seem to have gone downhill now that he’s in TNA.

No, I’m joking. It wasn’t Skrillex, but it was Havok, who came out to some naff Dubstep tune, like an Undertaker Bane hybrid… also a woman.

She’s impressive, seems fairly capable. I don’t like her scream, I appreciate the different gimmick, I don’t think she pulls it off all that well though.

Time will tell, I’m often converted.

havocskrillex

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Robbie E and Jesse were competing last week via Tinder (the dating App) and both matched dates with some TNA Knockouts.

I honestly have no idea what the point was, at first I thought it was to maybe boost Tinder with some kind of Advertising deal with TNA….

Or a way to introduce Robbie E and Brooke Adams (Miss Tessmacher) who are dating apparently in real life.

But no, they matched with The Beautiful People and poor DJ Z pretended to be happy to be alone and annoying.

Meh

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Gunner and Samuel Shaw vs. Magnus and Bram

This was quite nice, I do like Tag-Team Wrestling but both of these teams clearly are only together to build the seperate storylines.

Shaw apologised to Gunner for wearing his Jacket last week and that he just wanted to know what it was like to be a Hero, is it worth mentioning Brittany seemed to have taken a liking to him. I suppose they might attempt a weird stalker kind of pairing between these two. Might work?

What was more interesting to me was the Bram and Magnus situation. For those keen fans out there, you might have noticed this is the first time they’ve entered using Bram’s theme rather than Magnus’.

No doubt this plays on the idea that Bram is now a bigger star given his success against Abyss, and clearly Magnus’ fall from Grace after losing the World Championship to Eric Young.

Whereas I think it’s fairly obvious Bram and Magnus will battle each other at some point in the near future, possibly making Bram the bigger star. I’m not sure what direction Gunner and Shaw will go in.

Gunner “injured” his leg which led to the downfall of the match. Shaw then screamed in a protective way.

Yeah I know, it’s hard to really care about any of this.

It does show that TNA have pushed too many guys. Magnus was being prepped for the next big star, now he’s nothing. Gunner had a good push, now he’s gone again. It’s hard to see anyone as being really credible.

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Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode – World Heavyweight Championship – Number #1 Contenders Match

I’m going to be honest, this match wasn’t as good as I thought it would be.

Sure it was “competative” but it was also fast paced. It felt like they were only given a short time slot and they had to make up for that. The match was fine, high impact, impressive, but it’s timing wasn’t there.

“What do I know”, well a lot, I’m a Wrestling fan, I watch the product, have done for years. You can tell when a match is perfectly paced and when one feels rushed. Unfortunately TNA do rush a lot of matches. Given that this match was the top match of the night, but didn’t draw the main event and was slotted half way through and so quick, it almost felt irrelevant despite what was on the line.

I feel like this might be worth a second watch, but when it’s just big move after big move, high impact after high impact you can tell they are trying to pull out all the stops, but they don’t have the time to let each move settle, each impact breathe.

Which is a shame, it seemed like a good match, good pairing, just a little rushed to fit in.

A good string of counter moves to close out the bout which ended with Roode dropped EY with the Roode Bomb for the Win.

 

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Tigre Uno vs. Crazy Steve vs. Manik vs. DJ Z vs. Homicide vs. Low Ki – X-Division Championship – #1 Contenders Match

Yup, I’m slightly getting sick of this now.

I get it, the X-Division stars are great, now let them have time to shine indepedantly, what actually pisses me off is that Low Ki and Homicide are getting the entrances, getting the spot light. Sure, Low Ki is great, Homicide is alright, the only reason they are getting the push currently is because of this TNA History revial. Samoa Joe is the Champ, Low Ki vs. Joe, Homicide vs. Joe, it’s been done, people like it. More importantly the New York fans Like it, so they get it.

Now what annoys me is that Low Ki and Homicide aren’t actively back on the roster. So guys like Manik, DJ Z, Tigre Uno and yes even Crazy Steve, who in my opinion are better than Low Ki and Homicide in most areas, and all of them just better than Homicide full stop. Yet they get buried over TNA’s insisent push for ratings and atmoshpere.

Sure, you could call that good booking? But also, it’s terrible booking. You’re giving guys who will probably be gone again in no time the time to bury your regular superior talent, all for the sake of them getting a pop, then losing to your Champ.

Awesome.

Homicide won. Which was also obvious.

Low Ki got the last entrance, but Homicide got a full entrance, which just goes to show where they are in TNA’s minds. Again, it’s the crowd response that pulls them higher.

I’m sure it will boil down to Samoa Joe vs. Low Ki vs. Homicide. Now the only person who won’t win that match is Homicide. Low Ki might. Joe will most likely retain though.

Hey, it might not happen. I’m just guessing.

What is interesting though is that Storm and The Great Sanada came out to steal Manik at the end of the show, so he will be next for Storm’s “Revolution” so that’s cool. Maybe they will ditch the Manik gimmick and bring him back as TJ Perkins?

 

Austin Aries then hit the ring to moan about Storm and Sanada from last week, but it was all to introduce Tajiri.

Tajiri, now that’s a name that takes you back huh. Shame he always sucked. Now it’s 2014 and I’ve not seen a Wrestler look more out of shape.

Awesome, I’m so excited now.

tajiri

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Spud vs. Rhino

spudbadhair

Spud has raised his game for Bad hair cuts once more and EC3 has thrown him to the …. Rhino?

Before this match got set up they all wasted time in the ring earlier on in the night. Though interestingly EC3 had 3 demands after the actions of Bully Ray putting Dixie through a Table – Bully gets fired (which he is supposedly gone from the company, but working on a per appearence schedual), the words Hardcore and Extreme are never to be used in TNA again (let’s hope!) and he gets more respect.

So yeah, Bully getting fired could quite easily happen at the hands of EC3.

Spud is awesome! He recently spoke about how happy he was that TNA had the Chief of Staff idea, because he knew he wasn’t doing anything amazing with them, and his work wasn’t really shining. I expected him to be fired before long, but glad he was given the opportunity to do something different.

I’d say you will struggle to find anyone more entertaining than Spud right now in Wrestling, he knows what he’s doing and knows what to get the results he wants. Not only that, but people love it.

Clearly he wasn’t going to do much against Rhino and shortly suffered a Gore and a defeat. The big story was EC3 just leaving Spud in the ring. So that might build to something.

Hopefully they won’t try and turn Spud face, because it just wouldn’t work.

 

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Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley

I’m sure this match was put into place to build Lashley’s credibility as Champion. With him crossing over into MMA at the same time, they want to make sure he’s a force.

He’s defeated Eric Young, Jeff Hardy, Austin Aries and now Samoa Joe.

The issue at hand is that you can make an argument for Joe losing because of the interfernce from Kenny King. Perhaps they want Joe to be the big tough guy that can take down Lashley.

I really don’t think Joe should be that guy. But again, with the Crowd on his side, he has a certain drive in his actions, and it really shows.

I’m hoping Lashley has a long Championship run. Though I would like Storm to be on top as a top Heel, and with his “revolution” it could happen?

 

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Impact was pretty packed this week again, I do wish they cut out some of the crap that isn’t needed to set up matches.

A lot of the time what they do in the ring could be done backstage in half the time. A lot of the time you don’t need any build up to set up a match.

 

Full sail ahead for next week’s show – The Hardyz vs. The Wolves vs. Team 3D – Tables Match.

I’m going to predict it, The Wolves win this match.

 

 

 

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

http://www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

http://www.TheJobberBlogger.wordpress.com

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TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

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