Author Archives: Jon P

About Jon P

Currently run www.cageamateursuk.com which is a combat sport website.

Monday Night Raw #1112: September 15, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

PEACE TO THE GODS & EARTHS! KNOWLEDGE, KNOWLEDGE, KNOWLEDGE, WISDOM.

85%ers… I just quoted Supreme Mathematics. Only the 5% know what I just did here. 10% IWC b!tches step back and continue eating your monosodium glutamate, and polysorbate and drunk grape concentrate, with sodium benzoate!

Sorry I’m a Champion, as we enter the Night of Champions! RAW #1112! Hol’Dat – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZNo messing about! Paul Heyman’s here! John Cena is here! Is Brock Lesnar here? because if not, it’s YO @$$ PAUL HEYMAN!!!! Cena said he will F**k you up!

Haha Heyman made Cena look fool!!!! Look at him! Waiting for Brock for a fight like a dyam arse! Well – Brock’s private jet is delayed – Cena – KICK HIS F**K!N @$$!!! Don’t wait til no halftime Cena – KICK HIS @$$! Why has Cena got Heyman in a headlock??? Stop this nonsense Cena! I’d be throwing fists and fire on Heyman! Hey I’m a big Heyman fan… but it’s like this – if Brock comes and f**ks you up Cena, it’s your fault… just like you let Nikki Bella freeze her eggs, when there are nuff man out there dying to be a father! They’d shoot up her club in a heartbeat!

Oh snap – GREAT BOOKING BY JOHN CENA!!! Heyman locked away in Cena’s locker room, guarded by the not so Great Khali! Remember back in the days? I think it was 2007 when the not so Great Khali tried to squeeze Cena’s head top and kill him? How times have changed…

Look at this… Chris Jericho Vs ‘Glenn’… did Mike Cole just call him the Big Red Monster? I see no monster, I see a big bumblehead fool in school trousers!

If my hero Kane wrestled as Jacob Goodnight… even Bray Wyatt would see his white trousers turn yellow! WWE Creative simply have no sense sometimes!

Great win for Jericho, another loss for Glenn. I love Kane, hate Glenn. CHU!!!

You mean to tell me Mark Henry has athletes sending video messages supporting him in his fight against Rusev? Oh man Mark best not let his people down… all this police brutality, all sorts of sh!t…. he got more weight on him than Wack Swagger, who is fighting against Bo Dallas… and I BO-Lieve Dallas can win!

I like that chant going on! WE-THE-PEOPLE – – – WE BO-LIEVE!!!! I BO-LIEVE!!!! Come on kid! You are an inspiration to us all!

Good adding on to his Arsenal… Bo Dallas putting hand on his heart saying – WE BO-LIEVE before coming off the top ropes! NICE! It’s a shame he didn’t connect with the knee drop though…

OH F**K – Dallas taps out to the Ankle Patriot lock…. DAMNIT…. no more victory lap for Dallas now…. B@$+@rd!!!

COMING NEXT! Brie & AJ Lee combine their force against Paige & Nikki! Who am I backing? I care not… Whoever Loses, I WIN! I wonder, is

The MAN in the PURPLE SUIT!this the part where Brie finds herself in the divas championship match???

F**K it – I hate this skipping sh!t! If I ever catch my baby girl skipping like its yellow brick road– our relationship is OVER!

Oh dear – Brie – you got no skills, or as my sis would say, Brie you got no barz! Your @$$ ain’t going in that title match! Paige with the Rampaige super move… Brie couldn’t get up after that…and then after the match Nikki Bella shuts Brie down with her torture rack super move – BLAOW!!!

I’m sorry Shadfather but the Great Khali could win star of the week here! I can’t believe Paul Heyman tried to escape out of the locker room to call his client… but Khali brukk up Heyman’s phone! Oh no! How is Heyman gonna tweet his followers???

Where is Vincent Kennedy when you need him? Mike Cole just did an epic fail – he called John Cena – The world’s largest athlete??? You got two choices Cole – BE FIRED or the alternative…. GET IN THE CHAIR!!!! Better than that – Where’s the Rock? So he can put his most electrifying T-Shirt over Cole’s foolish head top????

LAWWD have mercy! The Big Show! 7ft 2! The Big Show! 441lbs! Double chokeslammed The Wyatt Bwoy into the canvas – BLAOW! That should have went through the ring tuh blodclart!

Big up the Uso brudda! I like that these guys have had an incredible run with the tag titles… it took them so long to capture the titles and even I thought they would have dropped em sooner… more power to em!

Was that ANOTHER Epic Fail by Mike Cole? He just asked Jay-Bee and Lawler – ‘Did Cody just meow’??? I thought his name was Stardust??? I thought Cody Rhodes didn’t exist????? (Obviously in storyline terms IWC don’t get your dirty Y-Fronts in a twist!)

If Raw starts at 8pm EST, 1am UK, isn’t 9:30pm EST 2:30am UK HALFTIME???? Cena said if Brock doesn’t show up by half time Heyman will get f**ked up… well it’s halftime now!!! I see no Brock…. Cena – KICK HIS F**K!N @$$!!!!!

STC NOC BANNER The Uso Brudda, The Dust Brudda, Sheamus & Cesaro always put on great matches, if you not down with the Night of Champions card this Sunday… I’ll take that wrestling card!!!! Now go over there and watch the only way is Essex… you dumb rarse!

BORN DAY SHOUT OUT TO THE DON! THEODORE LONG!!!! SALUTE THIS MAN!!!! LOOK AT HIM… WHAT A PLAYA!

Theodore-Long-With-Renee Word on the street is that Jericho is leaving again after Night of Champions…. and the announcers are making a big deal out of Randall kicking Jericho in his head costing him a few months of his career…why have I got that feeling that Randall is gonna do it again???

OHHHHH HERE WE GO!!!! KICK HIS F**K!N @$$!!!!! GIVE HIM THE BEATING CM P**K CAN ONLY DREAM OF!

Don’t waste time Cena! Stop chat – drop 16 suplexes on his @$$! I don’t care if he’s a 49-year-old father of 2, I don’t care if he’s acting with the benefit of intellect…. KICK HIS @$$!!!

Even the crowd want you to whupp his @$$! oh no…. Heyman got in your head…. goddamnit!!!! HERE COMES THE PAIN! HERE WE GO!!!

After mad mind games…. you know Brock the Conqueror couldn’t resist… he got in the ring… one German Suplex – BLAOW! Cena is like – OH SNAP! But Brock turn his back give Cena, Next minute Cena rushes Brock! Fist and fire! left’s and rights! Is Nikki getting wet backstage??? Is she thinking – f**k this egg freezing sh!t, I’m gonna jump on his d!ck and my vaginal walls is gonna trap him!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

That’s it Mike Cole – give the kids hope, because come Night of Champions… the Conqueror, BRRROCK Lesnar… is gonna brukk up Cena’s clart! I call it the battle between Kenshiro and Raoh the Conqueror in Fist Of the North Star!

fist-of-the-north-star-kens-rage-2kenshiro_vs_raohSo Cameron isn’t going to NXT after all? She’s gonna fight Naomi right here and now…. excuse me while I shed tears….

Good style out by Cameron when she pinned Naomi’s breasts to the mat instead of her back for the pinfall! HA! HA! Girl you don’t need to go to NXT!!! But that Sasha Banks though…. She and Cameron would make a great team!

There’s chants for Naomi! while Cameron has improved her fighting style! What sort of submission was that from Naomi??? WHOA!!!! Everytime I see Naomi fight she adds another move to her style! Give this woman the belt NOW!!!!! Well let her fight the winner between AJ, Nikki and Paige first…

I heard about this – Ziggler got his stunt double…. R-Truth…. I am DISGUSTED. I have lost respect for R-Truth, wearing pink brief and shaking his @$$…. F**k this… I’m off to watch babestation…. I’m a fan of that Sophia Lares lady… good gawd almighty!

BwimvOlCEAAyBvu.jpg largeI’D GO GRANTINGTON STEELE UP IN DAT @$$!

Did Seth Rollins just make a racist gesture about Roman Reigns???? Acting like a gorilla and sh!t????!!! OH HELL NAWWW!! I didn’t think that was funny. Roman – F**K him up!!! He might as well have said, Roman, I’m coming for you n!**@!

So wait there… if we are getting Seth Rollins Vs Roman Reigns now… does that mean at Night of Champions they will fight again in a stipulation??? I hope that is so!

F**K it Roman – get disqualified – Rollins made a racist comment about you and your Samoan heritage… send for the steel chair and beat his backside!

Oh blast – a victory by Reigns in a straight up wrestling contest…. GOD DAMNIT…. I HATE WRESTLING MATCHES!!! Only joking! I just think that when stars cut a promo where they say certain things about their opponent, I expect that sh!t to be delivered you feel me?

Interesting booking by WWE – Rusev & Mark Henry segment last???? Why is this? Is Mark Henry gonna strip Lana naked or something? (PG GRANT) GOD DAMNIT!!!! Lana would be crazy in TV-14 mode! She is Debra 2.0.! Let the truth be told! She has mastered d!ck teasology 101!

GRANT BODY – P!

The question remains – will the crowd support Mark Henry like they did Wack Swagger? You dun know me, Mike Knoxxx and Spotface will be watching this closely…

As much as I love the ‘What?’ chant…. the crowd doing this against the man who is supposed to be supporting the States?

Oh no! Lana put Mark Henry on blast!!!! He failed in the 1992 Olympic games! And Lana showed the true champion he represented Russia! OH SNAP!!! Dayuuum Henry how you gonna come back from this?

By pledging allegiance to the flag???? Well yeah but NO! Rusev tries to attack Henry!!! But Check it – Rusev, tries for the Accolade super move! Henry fights out of it! Sets up Rusev – Sit out chokeslam – BLAOW!!! Is that a new super move???? I hope so! He’s gonna need it! Henry made a promise to not let his people down! YES!!!! THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!!! I need to send for my Mark Henry shirt on Sunday and represent!!!!

OFFICIAL STC ANTHEM FOR NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS: SKYZOO – LIKE A SHOTGUN

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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The Jobber Blogger #124 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 10/9/14

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The Jobber Blogger

I’ve never really been that into South Park. I can respect Matt and Tray, I like their thinking and stance. Not so much their humour.

But if there is one thing they got right, it’s:

americaThe best way to poke fun at how much Americans love themselves. I will be honest, I sort of sucks that the majority of the UK really isn’t that patriotic. UK and USA are two vastly different things to Chant.

I suppose though, when this episode of Impact was filmed, it would have aired on September 11th, in New York. So that’s cool, I get it.

I can understand the thinking of American Hero’s, and War Hero’s, but a lot of the time, you only hear negative things. What makes one of these guys a Hero? So many good Men and Women serve, but the ones who get injured or traumatized seem to be those that are worthy of Heroism.

I’m not going to kick off the Jobber Blogger by saying anything too much on that subject, but of course this all plays into the opening of the show, which as it is, has a lot of problems.

bluelineImpact Wrestling LogoTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 10/9/14

bluelineChris Malendez vs. DJ Z

Under no circumstances can TNA convince me they Signed Malendez because he’s a great Talent, they signed him because of the reputation, the media and the publicity that goes a long with it.

Chris’ story is awesome, I think he’s hugely admirable. But I just can’t see a bright future for him. I’m not sure how long he’s signed to TNA for, but I would be surprised if he’s still around by the time his contract his up.

A one legged Wrestler, makes headlines, a one legged American Hero draws attention.

So let’s not beat it round the busy anymore shall we, is Chris Malendez impressive, simple, Yes.

But why.

He’s only impressive because of his limitation. Now if he had two legs, he wouldn’t have been anywhere close to working with TNA.

Let’s be fair shall we, his current in ring skill is based on his condition, and it is great. As someone who Hated Zack Gowen, I like Malendez. I think he has a good look, he’s impressive, agile, strength, awesome tattoos, cool music.

But to be able to Defeat DJ Z with a Samoan Drop, nope, not happening.

There is no way, At All that Malendez would ever be capable of defeating anyone on the TNA Roster. Just not possible.

For a “Sport” that struggles enough to find legitimency, adding a guy with a Winning Streak with one leg who really can’t Wrestle anywhere close to the Level of the TNA Roster, that just pisses me off.

I’m not trying to make this personal. I love his story, he seems like an awesome guy. Totally happy for him. But there is no way you can put him in the ring with Austin Aries, and expect that to be a great match. He wouldn’t be able to compete with him. DJ Z hit a Chop Block, it’s already looked as “Such a Heel move!” because he has one leg, it’s freakin’ Wrestling.

Imagine Aries running Circles around him, drop kicking him on the floor, diving over the ropes at him, he wouldn’t be able to do anything, and yet Malendez might beat him, with a Samoan Drop?

I noticed some of the padding fell off his False Leg, Gowen Wrestled without his prosthetic, a giant thick Metal Pole might cause some Damage for a guy who lands on it. Or has it land on them.

That seems like an accident waiting to happen.

Also I said this last time, but Bully and Devon’s Wrestling School, given the talent who has come from it that turned up in TNA, they need better training.

So Malendez beat Zema, which just shouldn’t happen. I get the “push”, but you only push him so far. Or by all means, push him up against Bobby Lashley, see what happens then. I seem to remember Lesnar obliterating Gowen. So you can copy that Storyline.

Samoan Drop my ass, he would have landed harder on a Back Drop, and no one loses on a Back Drop!

bluelineBobby Roode, Eric Young and Samoa Joe vs. MVP, Kenny King and Bobby Lashley

A nice 6man Tag to build up some much needed speed between Roode and Lashley’s collision next week.

Speaking of things I can do without, is the “tip toeing” around between Roode and EY. They’ve not ran the Video Package of “They were once like Brothers!” but you better believe it’s coming.

RoodeEyBrothers

It was literally a few months back when Roode and EY started building this “mutual respect” thing before Roode’s face turn. All on the heels of their history, Team Canada mainly, and that they’re both Canadians. And in case if you forgot, in Canada, a Deal is a Deal!

Welcome to Canada

Roode and EY are throwing around “You’re my Best Friend” in a bucket of sick love more than Barney the Dinosaur.

I can’t stand it. Why are you pushing this so much? If it’s anything like, oh I don’t know, EVERY OTHER TIME! TNA have pushed friendship, one of them is going to turn on the other. At this rate, it looks like EY might have an issue with Roode. Then we shall get the “They were once like Brothers!” Video Package of Bobby Roode screaming “You were my best friend!” which sobbing into a wet fish…. with a beard.

roodefish

The Line that made you Face Palm with your inner palm was Roode saying “EY, you will always be a World Champion to me!”

I bet Roode himself cringed when he read that script.

It pisses me off, it’s like TNA feel this need to pander to the audience so much because they are mainly thick!

Stop telling me the same thing! I got it from them hugging and knowing history, sorted. I don’t need them to tell me it again, and again and again, whilst the announcers and video packages repeat it for me. If they had their way Roode and EY would be kissing each other on the cheek, slapping each others’ ass and getting Married like Billy and Chuck.

billyandchuckseano

Okay so I’m have a good ranting session this week, it brings out my best material.

Guess what else pissed me off, Roode giving Lashley the “My heart is bigger” speech.

Let’s see, He’s Bigger, Tougher, Stronger, Faster, but the fact you can withstand his onslaught longer makes you think you will win? No, it means you will get your ass kicked just that little bit longer, before you inevitably lose.

Roode was such a good heel, now he’s becoming the whining do goody, Baby face that likes your favourite Ice Cream, Saturday night Television and Cuddles!

The crowd was good.

Roode won by defeating MVP with his Roode Bomb… the worst named Finisher going. It’s not even a Bombing type manoeuvre.

bluelineThe Bromans and Velvet Sky vs. Knux, Crazy Steve and Rebel

Do you know what this booking means.. ROB TERRY SUCKS!

Rob Terry Train

I don’t like Rob Terry, I don’t like the pairing of The Bromans with the Beautiful People (though I suspect they are out for their own motives), or that they will split and The Bromans will choose Bro’s over Ho’s. Probably happen.

This is the first time we’ve seen Rebel wrestle. She’s not good. To make matters worse she recently broke her arm. Apparently she’s very under trained. Which is a shame, I like her with Knux.

Which brings us to the best bit!

crazysteve

Now I believe he’s probably much better in the ring than we’ve ever seen. But the Character, is awesome. He makes it work, and he’s just on a whole different level. Knux, Terry, Rebel, all quite easily could be fired tomorrow and the entire Menagerie thing can carry on just fine without them.

Aside from the fact that the whole meaning of the name is a group of course.

Velvet picks up a win by holding the trunks of Rebel… too much.

blueline

EC3 vs. Rhino – Street Fight

I cannot believe that I just wrote “Street Fish!”

I’ve corrected it of course, but the fact my instinct went to Fish, amuses me greatly.

streetsharks

I suppose a Street Fish is pretty much a Street Shark, and they were awesome.

This whole thing kicked off with Kurt Angle, Mr. Fish himself, with his puckered up sucker lips.

Kurt Fish

Angle has never felt genuine, or real in his entire run as the Executive Director. He sounds so de-motivated that I just don’t believe a single word out of his mouth.

Things like “I…look..forward..to…being…here…each…..and…….ev…er..y weeeeeeek”.

I got bored typing that.

What I did like however was the whole “You don’t look like you’re ready to Wrestle.. good, I won’t make you… it’s a Street Fight!” Or fish, I’m easy.

The match was what it was.

Thankfully EC3 won, this whole thing is putting over EC3 more than anything else. Was that the point?

The crowd seemed to be enjoying cheering for him too. Hey, whatever, Rhino sucks.

I get the thinking of Rhino being a New York guy, given his ECW heritage. But when you put him as a mindless idiot, even if he decides he wants to eat a guys Ass (his words, not mine), no body cares, because you booked him as a mindless idiot.

There’s only one thing I want to see now, is that mindless idiot get his ass kicked. So I’ve enjoyed it.

bluelineThe new Knockouts Calandar is now a Storyline, so that’s exciting. Nothing sets the Knockouts Division apart from the Divas more than letting them post for a Calander in their skimpiest clothes then fall out with each other over who is prettier and petty jealousy.

That worked wonders.

And just like you would suspect, Velvet and Angelina are having issues again. Why, dear lord, why, do they need to be this way? Why does it have to be Angelina forcing herself as the dominent one. Why can’t they just be bad together.

I hate that.

Clearly Angelina is the leader, because it’s a Wrestling business and Velvet struggles to run the ropes, let alone anything more complicated then that. Case closed, facts are facts people.

ODB is in the Calandar.. but not the Company. Flaw number one.

Brooke is in the Calander, not seen her in how long?

Then Disco Bane crashed the party with some of that Dubstep’z and stole Gail’s Knockouts Championship. Which led them to fight each other for a while.

Also Bane beat up some guys, Taz seemed suprised. I do like the fact that they picked the skinniest guys around. Not really head turning levels of impressive.

Could be worse though, she could be Chyna. Come to TNA for one match, fall over whilst picking up Jarrett then leaving right away to go back to Porn…. and look like a man.

Wow… I’m brutal this week! I like it!

bluelineJames Storm and The Great Sanada vs. Austin Aries and Tajiri

I always thought some objects, tools and lark would be universal. Like a Spanner, it would still be Spanner in a different country, just a different name, same job.

Yet apparently in Japan their tools are a little different. Evidently their Buzz Saws must be rather slow, dull, out of shape and boring.

“You still got it!” – Funny, I don’t remember a time when he had it.

The great leader James Storm, who won his first match in ages by being on the Winning team, seems like an odd fit for the character he’s playing.

Again, I like the idea behind it. I just don’t like the execution. I don’t think the Silver Bathrobe and Beer Bottle make Storm look like Revolutionary Leader. He looks like a Drunk who got a shower in his robe.

bluelineTeam 3D vs. The Hardyz vs. The Wolves – Tables Match

Another good match, but still not on the Level I’m looking for.

I hate to say it, but Matt really seems a step behind everyone else and it’s rather noticeable.

My originally prediction was quickly turned around when I realised the pattern. Which now means, it’s less impressive.

The Wolves are going to win in the Ladder Match next week, then I imagine we will have Full Metal Mayhem, combining the Tables and the Ladders. Much like how TLC was put together originally.

This isn’t really a problem, only that you know who will win. But you don’t know, is who will win the actual match that matters, which would be the final one.

Another thing I dislike about Tag-Team Tables matches, is that One guy needs to go through a Table. I get that it can get rather confusing after a while, but both guys need to go through a Table for a match to be won. That’s the best way to do it!

The Hardyz picked up the win with Jeff dropping a Swanton from the top rope to the floor putting Eddie through a Table.

Also how naff do the Wolves look now, losing twice, and Eddie being the deciding factor both times (I believe).

Jeff climbed up a Ladder whilst Matt dragged his sorry ass as high as he could, out of breath, panting he issued the Challenge for next week.

bluelineWhich brings us to next week – No Surrender!

Knockouts Battle Royal

Homicide vs. Samoa Joe

Hardyz vs. Team 3D vs. Wolves – Ladder Match

and

Bobby Lashley vs. Bobby Roode – World Championship

bluelineYay, time for the Predictions!

I forgot to do this segment the last few times, so let’s drop it like it’s hot.

If the Knockouts Battle Royal is for the Championship then Gail will Win.

If it’s a Number One Contenders.. the smart choice would be Havok, but I will go with Velvet.

Samoa Joe will retain, it’s insulting to think any other way.

The Wolves will win.

Bobby Lashley will win.

bluelineTill then!

Dan Wilkinson

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Monday Night Raw #1111: September 8, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

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The Infamous Informer

I love this song… but I hate Domestic Violence to the CORE. A man who hits a woman, is not a MAN. From that day forward, that man becomes a B!TCH. That’s what I think of you RAY RICE. I have seen it too many times too so many women that I care for. At the same time, that’s what happens when women think bad guys carry the swing. Yes they carry a bat that will swing to your face! See that’s why they don’t condone that sh!t in WWE now… it used to be ‘cool’ in TV-14 standards with women going through tables and women getting tombstoned into the concrete floor. Big ups to the Baltimore Ravens for kicking that b!tch @$$ out of their team. He instantly gets the Official DYAM ARSE AWARD… Raymond Mourice Rice: GET IN THE CHAIR!!!! AND SHUDDUP!

I hope Jerry Springer brings Steve out with him to sort this Bella madness out… RAW #1111: HOLD DAT – BLAOWWWW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

World Wrestling Federation

Say what? We just gonna have the steel cage match now??? Ok here we go!!!! Bray Wyatt! Chris Jericho!!! Somebody’s gonna get buss arse in that muthaf***a!

Did Bray just say – Baltimore: We’re Here??!!!! Expect a heel to throw shots at Mr Rice…

Jericho: remember what I told you last week about bringing a steel chair with you??? Why didn’t you bring it? Dude – you gon lose – Wyatt got his fam with him… if the mighty John Cena could not defeat him, I’m afraid I’ve got some baaaad news..

LAWWD HAVE MERCY!!!! Chris Jericho, climbing to the top of the cage… ready to escape but the fam ain’t having it, so what does he do? jumps off and splashes onto Bray Wyatt! MAAAAAAD!!!

But as Jericho tries to escape through the door, Wyatt mounts on top of him beating him down, and yes, that didn’t look right! Somehow Wyatt wins, but they want to destroy Jericho!!! NO!!! Destroying the injured knee of Jericho, then dragging his carcass back in the ring… Sister Abigail – BLAOW!!!!! DAYUUUM!

Now Randall wants to destroy Roman Reigns, by Triple’s permission! “What does he mean?” Asks Mike Cole…. YOU DUMMY – He’s gonna kick Reigns in his head!!!! He might draw for the hammer himself! Handcuff Reigns to the ring and brukk him up! What did you think he meant you BIG DUMMY!

Oh no Dolph ‘battybwoy’ Ziggler? F**k this sh!t… I’m gonna check on my washing!

…or maybe not… exposing photos of The Miz on some faggotry is entertaining…. hang on – The Miz will sue all of us if we republish the photos???? Isn’t that a shot at CM P**K being a b!tch over those wedding photos… like my dude RZA said… if you don’t want those personal photos exposed on the internet… DON’T TAKE THEM!

The internet is a public domain…. use COMMON SENSE!

My favourite diva of the moment is here! Dayuuuum Rosa Mendes… here’s hoping for another wardrobe malfunction! She teams with Natalya’s sexy @$$ going against AJ P**K and that pale looking Paige…. she look like she died last week and sh!t!

SAM_3700

The Informer With Cage Amateurs UK Tshirt

Big ups to the women chanting for AJ Lee… acknowledging her existence properly, not like the chi-chi man in attendance! Rosa – you should have tagged Nattie… what the hell’s wrong with you? You tryna prove something – so far you’re proving that you’re worse than Eva Marie!

What the rarse??? What the hell did Randall do that for? What did Jericho do to you Randall? Beat down Jericho for no reason! So what if it’s the muthaf***!n season première???? I don’t give a f**k! there’s no off-season in WWE you big DUMMY!

PAUL HEYMAN IN THE HIZ-HOUSE!! SSSSHHHHH…… PAY ATTENTION….

Yet I walk thee in the shadow of Cenation, I shall fear no Thuganomics!!!! Heyman has done it again!!! Lyric of the week!

Paul Heyman just revealed the secret formula to defeat Brock Lesnar! What you do Cena… is TURN EVIL!!! But we know that ain’t gonna happen! Cena drops a dissertation to Heyman on why he can never turn evil… same story – for the kids, for the people who fight for his country…. Remember what I said earlier, that a heel would take a shot at the Baltimore Ravens… that man turned out to be Paul Heyman! To think…. that Kane tried to tell Cena… Roddy Piper tried to tell him, and now Paul Heyman… if arguably the greatest wrestling manager of all time can’t convince Cena, y’all Cena haters might as well abandon hope. Eat, Sleep, Be John Cena, Repeat…that’s why I don’t jump on the Cena hating bandwagon, I don’t follow sheeple. I’m the Infamous Informer, Undertaker fan to the end, Ziggler hater, The Rock is my inspiration… and I Never Change!

 

Who you know like Grant????

Damn Lana you have a lovely singing voice…. we gotta get Lana to sing the national anthem for WrestleMania 31! And I like the Russian national anthem! It’s very catchy if I do not say so myself! Listen to the passion behind the Russian singers! SHOW SOME RESPECT DAMNIT! Look at Jerry Lawler and JBL… dem bex!!!! HA! HA! HA!

NXT Takeover looking BIG! I wanna see this KENTA dude… he sounds like an OFFICIAL BAD MAN!!! The last PPVs were crazy! I wanna see this Charlotte Flair fight as well…

BACKSIDE!!! NXT TAG TEAM ACTION ON RAW!!!! YO I CAN’T WRITE…. I’ll be back in a few minutes…

BUMBACLART!!!! This Adrian Neville is a bad man! That Red Arrow super move is INSANE!!! I’ve seen Sami Zayn fight before…Excellent strategy Triple TEEF! Put your NXT mans on Raw to promote the PPV! THE GRANT SAYS – SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!!!

Enough of that sh!t…. it’s time for Jerry Springer!!! I’m a Maury guy myself… but neither Bella is pregnant and no one is the father, so I can’t see Cena or Danny doing any dancing any time soon…

Jerry springer BellaWait a minute – Jason is the security guard? Where’s Steve???? He was the man!!!!

Brie Bella got new entrance music! It sounds like some Cheryl Cole sh!t!!! Anyway moving on…

Nikki I’m disappointed in you! Why did you go fist and fire with your sister on some vintage Jerry Springer sh!t?!

What de rarse??? The parents involved via satellite, the brother is now in the ring? Stop this nonsense and get it over with and fight!

Oh snap! Springer is hurt! Where’s the security??? Maybe he was a dutty bwoy and letting the Bellas fight! The security should be fired!!!! Steve would never let that happen… he’d make sure he’d grab one of the Bella’s by her breasts and break up the scuffle! We couldn’t even get a Final Thought from Jerry…. maybe Jeremy Kyle is the one that can sort it out! Jerry ain’t getting any younger! Jeremy cusses his ignorant guests and feels no way!

WWE send their condolences to Joan Rivers….She did her thing in WWE back in the day…but The Grant Says – F**K JOAN RIVERS!!! Word is she disrespected the Palestinians on some bullsh!t… you have to pay penalties for that sh!t word up!

I gotta question, if the bunny from Adam Rose’s party crew drops the super kick on Heath Slater and jumps off the top ropes and splashes on Titus, does that make him the next Shawn Michaels???? If not then you wrestling fans are retarded as hell! Doph Ziggler does that same sh!t – but you call him the next Shawn Michaels???? DISRESPECT!

Why have I got this feeling that the cage is gonna come down on Randall & Roman Reigns and Randall is gonna proceed to f**k up Reigns in the cage?

That’s it – rights and lefts from both men…none of this elbow tie-up crap! BRING THE RUCKUS!

Damn steel steps are everywhere! I don’t think Randall is out to win this match… it’s all about f**k!n Roman up!

WTF is this! TEEEEEEEF!!! Seth is out here, Glenn is out here, what did I say??!!! The cage ah come down!!!!! SOMEBODY GONNA GET F**KED UP TONIGHT!!!

MY GOD NO!!!! Seth Rollins, from the top of the cage! Landing on Reigns! Glenn with the chokeslam! Randall with a vicious assault with the chair! Then Seth with that Curb Stomp to Reigns headtop – BLAOW!!! OH LAWWWD Reigns dead now!

Reigns… you know what you gotta do? Take them out, one by one? Learn from your older cousin, watch what he did… if you do this next week… you are sure to succeed…

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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The Jobber Blogger #123 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 3/9/14

The Jobber BloggerJobber Blogger Birthday logo2One, Two, Three! It’s as easy as A,B,C for all of those Jackson 5 fans out there! On a side note, I keep seeing Michael Jacksons new album in stores…. I’m curious to buy it, I found his last few Albums to be of a lesser standard, given the odd occasional song. Perhaps he’s found more inspiration now… you know, being dead an all.

Wow, now that was dark to start off this weeks Jobber Blogger. But hey, it’s not that dark, it’s not like I’m wanted for murder and used it as a platform to taunt such actions. I just think its ridiculous to put out an album. Ah who cares.

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What you should care about is that I have actually started The Jobber Blogger on Sunday! It is exaxctly 6:37pm! So I’m not late yet! Of course I need to write the entire thing, create all the stupid pictures and then go post it around everywhere on the internet for no body to read! UP YOURS NO BODY!

Impact Wrestling Logo

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TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 3/9/14

Yes we’re in September! Holy bat fanny packs everybody, we’re sailing toward Christmas! I also have a strange feeling I’ve been doing this for two years or more now. I seem to have missed my Second Birthday! So lets Celebrate it today along with my Dad’s Birthday! Wooo!!!

If only we could celebrate TNA’s success!

MVP, Kenny King and Bobby Lashley kicked off the show. It’s about damn time Lashley takes centre stage and actually is starting to feel important and significant as the World Champion. Which in an ironic way, this entire opening segment was the exact opposite of important and significant.

It’s a shame to see that Wrestling is still stuck in that territory of saying the blatantly obvious remarks.

MVP blabbed on about how no body is tougher than Lashley, and then out came Samoa Joe to tell Lashley “he’s not even the toughest one in the ring right now”.

Oooo big talk, and then a match was made, which could have been done without this fart of an opening.

The only positive was that in New York, Joe draws a huge reaction, so it was kind of cool. Just ridulously Childish.

Least they skipped the part where they shout about each others asses.

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Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim – Knockouts Championship

I really don’t get the hype between these two. Their matches were good, this one was less good. Still good though.

The fact they made a video package for the match stating it to be the “toughest rivalry in knockouts history”. Really? Has it been the absolute toughest?

Because I seem to remember Taryn being a ref, Gail pushed her around, she got put on the roster, they had two matches, then she left. All of the above took around what, 1 and a half months? Then she came back for a couple of matches and now she’s this big deal that has a history no one else has. Meh.

Hot mess, no sense.

Tarynnosensearmpits

Although the Knockouts are fantastic and are capable of having awesome, awesome wrestling matches, things like doing a Neck-Breaker on the Steel Steps because they are women, seem to be the proving ground.

Quite honestly, I think Gail is capable of having much better matches, and she doesn’t need an opponent who will throw herself on the floor to prove how good she is. I get it, women taking big risks and doing big spots, you don’t see it often. But there is a style and a fenes that comes with the territory. Mickie James vs. Tara in the Cage, sure they did some big spots, but they performed on a level that was worthy of the main event, regardless of the Cage.

Bugs me is all.

Taryn then kicked out of Eat da Feet, which bugged me more.

Least she didn’t win. I don’t dislike her, I’m just not crazy about her either. She’s not ready to beat Gail for the Championship.

Though she might take the belt at Bound for Glory, which I think was the plan last year?

Then much to my surprise Skrillex showed up.

I actually bought Recess (his latest Album) his Music skills seem to have gone downhill now that he’s in TNA.

No, I’m joking. It wasn’t Skrillex, but it was Havok, who came out to some naff Dubstep tune, like an Undertaker Bane hybrid… also a woman.

She’s impressive, seems fairly capable. I don’t like her scream, I appreciate the different gimmick, I don’t think she pulls it off all that well though.

Time will tell, I’m often converted.

havocskrillex

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Robbie E and Jesse were competing last week via Tinder (the dating App) and both matched dates with some TNA Knockouts.

I honestly have no idea what the point was, at first I thought it was to maybe boost Tinder with some kind of Advertising deal with TNA….

Or a way to introduce Robbie E and Brooke Adams (Miss Tessmacher) who are dating apparently in real life.

But no, they matched with The Beautiful People and poor DJ Z pretended to be happy to be alone and annoying.

Meh

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Gunner and Samuel Shaw vs. Magnus and Bram

This was quite nice, I do like Tag-Team Wrestling but both of these teams clearly are only together to build the seperate storylines.

Shaw apologised to Gunner for wearing his Jacket last week and that he just wanted to know what it was like to be a Hero, is it worth mentioning Brittany seemed to have taken a liking to him. I suppose they might attempt a weird stalker kind of pairing between these two. Might work?

What was more interesting to me was the Bram and Magnus situation. For those keen fans out there, you might have noticed this is the first time they’ve entered using Bram’s theme rather than Magnus’.

No doubt this plays on the idea that Bram is now a bigger star given his success against Abyss, and clearly Magnus’ fall from Grace after losing the World Championship to Eric Young.

Whereas I think it’s fairly obvious Bram and Magnus will battle each other at some point in the near future, possibly making Bram the bigger star. I’m not sure what direction Gunner and Shaw will go in.

Gunner “injured” his leg which led to the downfall of the match. Shaw then screamed in a protective way.

Yeah I know, it’s hard to really care about any of this.

It does show that TNA have pushed too many guys. Magnus was being prepped for the next big star, now he’s nothing. Gunner had a good push, now he’s gone again. It’s hard to see anyone as being really credible.

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Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode – World Heavyweight Championship – Number #1 Contenders Match

I’m going to be honest, this match wasn’t as good as I thought it would be.

Sure it was “competative” but it was also fast paced. It felt like they were only given a short time slot and they had to make up for that. The match was fine, high impact, impressive, but it’s timing wasn’t there.

“What do I know”, well a lot, I’m a Wrestling fan, I watch the product, have done for years. You can tell when a match is perfectly paced and when one feels rushed. Unfortunately TNA do rush a lot of matches. Given that this match was the top match of the night, but didn’t draw the main event and was slotted half way through and so quick, it almost felt irrelevant despite what was on the line.

I feel like this might be worth a second watch, but when it’s just big move after big move, high impact after high impact you can tell they are trying to pull out all the stops, but they don’t have the time to let each move settle, each impact breathe.

Which is a shame, it seemed like a good match, good pairing, just a little rushed to fit in.

A good string of counter moves to close out the bout which ended with Roode dropped EY with the Roode Bomb for the Win.

 

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Tigre Uno vs. Crazy Steve vs. Manik vs. DJ Z vs. Homicide vs. Low Ki – X-Division Championship – #1 Contenders Match

Yup, I’m slightly getting sick of this now.

I get it, the X-Division stars are great, now let them have time to shine indepedantly, what actually pisses me off is that Low Ki and Homicide are getting the entrances, getting the spot light. Sure, Low Ki is great, Homicide is alright, the only reason they are getting the push currently is because of this TNA History revial. Samoa Joe is the Champ, Low Ki vs. Joe, Homicide vs. Joe, it’s been done, people like it. More importantly the New York fans Like it, so they get it.

Now what annoys me is that Low Ki and Homicide aren’t actively back on the roster. So guys like Manik, DJ Z, Tigre Uno and yes even Crazy Steve, who in my opinion are better than Low Ki and Homicide in most areas, and all of them just better than Homicide full stop. Yet they get buried over TNA’s insisent push for ratings and atmoshpere.

Sure, you could call that good booking? But also, it’s terrible booking. You’re giving guys who will probably be gone again in no time the time to bury your regular superior talent, all for the sake of them getting a pop, then losing to your Champ.

Awesome.

Homicide won. Which was also obvious.

Low Ki got the last entrance, but Homicide got a full entrance, which just goes to show where they are in TNA’s minds. Again, it’s the crowd response that pulls them higher.

I’m sure it will boil down to Samoa Joe vs. Low Ki vs. Homicide. Now the only person who won’t win that match is Homicide. Low Ki might. Joe will most likely retain though.

Hey, it might not happen. I’m just guessing.

What is interesting though is that Storm and The Great Sanada came out to steal Manik at the end of the show, so he will be next for Storm’s “Revolution” so that’s cool. Maybe they will ditch the Manik gimmick and bring him back as TJ Perkins?

 

Austin Aries then hit the ring to moan about Storm and Sanada from last week, but it was all to introduce Tajiri.

Tajiri, now that’s a name that takes you back huh. Shame he always sucked. Now it’s 2014 and I’ve not seen a Wrestler look more out of shape.

Awesome, I’m so excited now.

tajiri

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Spud vs. Rhino

spudbadhair

Spud has raised his game for Bad hair cuts once more and EC3 has thrown him to the …. Rhino?

Before this match got set up they all wasted time in the ring earlier on in the night. Though interestingly EC3 had 3 demands after the actions of Bully Ray putting Dixie through a Table – Bully gets fired (which he is supposedly gone from the company, but working on a per appearence schedual), the words Hardcore and Extreme are never to be used in TNA again (let’s hope!) and he gets more respect.

So yeah, Bully getting fired could quite easily happen at the hands of EC3.

Spud is awesome! He recently spoke about how happy he was that TNA had the Chief of Staff idea, because he knew he wasn’t doing anything amazing with them, and his work wasn’t really shining. I expected him to be fired before long, but glad he was given the opportunity to do something different.

I’d say you will struggle to find anyone more entertaining than Spud right now in Wrestling, he knows what he’s doing and knows what to get the results he wants. Not only that, but people love it.

Clearly he wasn’t going to do much against Rhino and shortly suffered a Gore and a defeat. The big story was EC3 just leaving Spud in the ring. So that might build to something.

Hopefully they won’t try and turn Spud face, because it just wouldn’t work.

 

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Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley

I’m sure this match was put into place to build Lashley’s credibility as Champion. With him crossing over into MMA at the same time, they want to make sure he’s a force.

He’s defeated Eric Young, Jeff Hardy, Austin Aries and now Samoa Joe.

The issue at hand is that you can make an argument for Joe losing because of the interfernce from Kenny King. Perhaps they want Joe to be the big tough guy that can take down Lashley.

I really don’t think Joe should be that guy. But again, with the Crowd on his side, he has a certain drive in his actions, and it really shows.

I’m hoping Lashley has a long Championship run. Though I would like Storm to be on top as a top Heel, and with his “revolution” it could happen?

 

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Impact was pretty packed this week again, I do wish they cut out some of the crap that isn’t needed to set up matches.

A lot of the time what they do in the ring could be done backstage in half the time. A lot of the time you don’t need any build up to set up a match.

 

Full sail ahead for next week’s show – The Hardyz vs. The Wolves vs. Team 3D – Tables Match.

I’m going to predict it, The Wolves win this match.

 

 

 

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

http://www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

http://www.TheJobberBlogger.wordpress.com

http://www.TheSteelChair.com

http://www.striketapandgrapple.com

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

www.cageamateursuk.com

Monday Night Raw #1110: September 1, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

UK – We are about ONE MONTH AWAY from Chris B£^O!+ Part II Day… Some of you look confused… I’m talking about October 1, 2014 when the WWE Network touches down on our shores finally! But the question remains – will it be £9.99??? Why are we the last country to get it? And if it is £9.99, then The Grant Says – We are about to be ripped the f**k off! Because $9.99 works out to £6.01 at time of this post.

Before I jump off with this week’s Raw Blog, I wanna big up Cage Amateurs UK, they blessed me with a nice T-Shirt to represent officially! BIG RESPECT! LOVE IS LOVE!

It looks great on me... don't you think???

ANNNND NOWWWW, It’s time for the main event of the evening! I got my Supermalt, Hula Hoops, Mint Chocolate Penguins, Apple Pies (For the divas – No I don’t do that American Pie sh!t – dude you nassssty!) The Infamous Informer is ready! Are You Ready? NO – I SAID… ARRRRRE….YOUUUUUU… READDDDDDDDY!!!!!

Then, for the thousands in attendance, for the millions of viewers watching around the world, and for my readers reading this sh!t…. RAW #1110…. LET’S GET READY TO HOLD DAT – BLAOWWWW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZHAPPY LABOR DAY TO OUR PEOPLES ACROSS THE POND! We don’t have that over here… England is WACK man, we have to pay tax and sh!t, if we work overtime all that sh!t gets taxed too.. We work too dyam hard and we don’t get rewarded?? F**K YOU CAMERON!

Wait a minute… Jericho is about to run the Highlight Reel with special guest Randall Teef Orton, but why the rarse is the Authority out here??? They got beef with Jericho??? What did he do? All he did was call Steph a two dollar slut…. that was 14 years ago though yo!!!

Oh snap Jericho just insulted them all… you know Triple will make him pay for that! But Triple has been contemplating sending for a new #1 contender for Brock’s title…. Suddenly Randall, Glenn, Seth Rollins and Jericho all putting their names in the hat…

Cena comes out, and he’s actually entertaining me here! He’s got a point! Triple changes the match – Cena can take Triple to court, win the case, take over as COO of the joint and FIRE Triple’s @$$!! Can he do that??? I dunno man… Triple is a McMahon…BY MARRIAGE!

Randall & Seth Rollins just had to call Roman’s name didn’t he??? INJUSTICE! Roman Reigns is coming down the stairs! He wants in too! If Hell In The Cell was the next PPV, if I was Triple, I’d throw them all in that muthaf***a, but I’m not the COO, and I got WWE’14… and the PPV is Night of Champions so… Triple’s like, 6 man tag in this b!tch! Triple is gonna watch from ringside, then he will make a decision on who gets the spot… Hmmm… Triple threat jump off at Night of Champions??? I don’t know what to make of that!

YO IWC!!! Yeah I’m talking you, you stupid muthaf***az on the chat stream where I’m watching this…. all I see is you lot running down the show and how Triple botched his line saying ‘WWWE’…. Well The Grant Says – GET YOUR B!TCH @$$ OFF THE STREAM, YOU’RE NOT PAYING $9.99 FOR THIS SH!T, AND F**K OFF AND WATCH THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEX WHERE FAGGOTS LIKE YOU CAN IDENTIFY… YOU NO PU$$Y GETTING MUTHAF***AZ!

What’s going on here? Tag Team contest between Sheamus/Dolph Vs Miz/Cesaro? I got mixed feelings about this because I like two of the four guys… put it like this – whoever loses – I WIN!

Wait a minute – who is that woman with Damien Mizdow???? Y’all know what to do – tweet me at @MZATheInfamous!

Crowd are chanting – We Want Ziggler, Well The Grant is chanting – Grant wants cookies!!! So with that said, I’ll be right back…

…and I came back just in time! The Miz hit Ziggler with the Skull Crushing Finale! Ziggler fails to answer the 3, and the money-maker is in tact!!!! SUPERB!!! I told ya – whoever loses – I WIN!!!! SWEET!!!

Ok Bella time – go on IWC jabronies – go to the toilet, get your wank on because the Bellas – according to you – can’t act…. weSAM_3700 don’t need you muthaf***az! Ladies! Stay with me a little while… let’s talk Bellas!

Wait a minute – back in the days Brie stole Nikki’s boyfriend???? I think Nikki’s telling lies – they were IDENTICAL TWINS – I say WERE because back then Nikki didn’t buy any t!tt!£$! The GRANT SAYS – You and Brie play trick pon di bwoy and him never know he was having sex with the twin! I know these things happen – I read Dear Deidre in THE SUN!!!!!

These divas need no introduction – just my cocky to go hard! Rosa Mendes/Cameron & Eva Marie Vs Naomi/Layla & Summer Rae in one ring!!!!

Oh hang on – this 1 minute match was just to promote Total Divas??? But Layla is not in there????? Unless she’s gonna make a special appearance??!

Remember back in the days? When women would sing songs like ‘short d!ck man’ and ‘One Minute Man’ and ‘Don’t Think I’m Not’, you know all them male bashing songs??? This is a Man’s World divas… we put YOU in one minute matches…. now take out my majestic member, and put it between your wet lips! And suck!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Wait a minute – Big Show/Mark Henry vs The Wyatt bwoy dem???? AGAIN? I saw this sh!t last week! And the week before! They going on like they never wrestled before! I love all four guys but The Grant Says – f**k this match!!!! I’m gonna watch some babe station…

Uh oh…. Rusev & Lana are out to cause trouble…I see you Lana, checking out Sexual Chocolate…. It’s what women do… they are happy with one man until someone better comes along! Rusev – you gon’ lose yo’ woman… it won’t be straight away, but the countdown has begun!

Oh snap – Story #2…. Nikki passed her driving test, Brie failed, so what happened? Brie drove the car and crashed it… and gave the police Nikki’s driver’s license??? Ooooooh bad Brie – BAAAAAAAAD Brianna! Doesn’t Danny Bryan spank Brie’s @$$ for her crimes back in the day? First she steals Nikki’s man – now this???

Ok I’m gonna get some jokes now! Paul Heyman is here to deliver another award-winning promo!!!

Oh lawwwd – His client – BRRRRROCCCK LESSSSNARRR – Emasculated John Cena!!!!! That is the word of the week!

Good lord I need to use that word!!!! Oh no look who’s back…. that Zeb Colter…. god damnit, I thought Rusev got rid of him???

Wack Swagger Vs Curtis Axel???? F**k this match! Watch this instead…

Why have I got a feeling that when this dude comes back, is curtains for the Main Title Picture??

HA! HA! HA! What a motivational speech by Bo Dallas!!! He displayed three people, down in the dumps because of Swagger’s failure, and now Bo Dallas looks up to Vladimir Putin! OH SH!T!!! We gotta get that picture – put up the picture!

Vladimir_Putin_-_2006

Everyone stand up! Put your hand over your heart, and all you have to do, is BO-LIEVE!!! I agree with JAY-BEE – this man is an inspiration to us all! Lana would be so proud!!!

Adam Rose Vs Titus O’Neill? I want to support Titus so much… but this is just stupidness – Maybe the Primetime Players should reform – I can’t believe I just said that….

Wait a minute – the bunny can now fight??? and brukk up Heath Slater??? Who the f**k is playing the bunny? Flo-rida??? Tweet me – @MZATheInfamous!

Ok pay attention… now for episode 3 of this Bella sh!t… oh no! Brie nearly didn’t graduate? So Nikki took Brie’s exams instead and the teacher didn’t notice because they were twins???? Goodness gracious!!!!! BRIANNA BELLA! You cheated!!! How could you do this??? So w’happen…Nikki’s IQ is higher than yours Brie? I find that amusing, since Brie achieved her goals and married a good man while Nikki wants to marry someone who came out of a marriage and doesn’t want kids… that’s not very smart Nikki!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh no – Lana is back…. she’s gonna run down Labor Day!!!! She can’t do that!!! Is that Wack Dryder back there??? HA! RUSEV – CRUSH!!!! And he does… Isn’t Labor Day a day where Americans don’t work? So why the f**k is Wack Dryder working???

Bless Stephanie’s heart! She wants to help the Bellas in their current turmoil! What a nice young lady eh? If he employees have a problem, her ‘door’ is always open… well The GRANT SAYS – Steph, I have a problem in my pants!! I believe your door is open! After all I do kinda work for you! I write these WWE blogs every week entertaining the readers, I work for you for free! I have a song for you Steph… and it goes a lil something like this:

I’m not an American citizen, so I don’t celebrate Labor Day so Steph, I’ll be your ‘Worker Man’!!!

Hang on… all these confessions… for a Divas title shot???? Wait a minute – does AJ and Paige know about this???

See! AJ has to skip out here! INJUSTICE!!!! Where’s your frenemy at AJ? Oh no why the f**k are the crowd chanting THAT

Meme courtesy of Lee Steadx

name??? F**k!ng get over it you faggots!

So hold on – Nikki wants Brie to QUIT? I get it!!!! I smell an I QUIT MATCH! I’m not sure if Nikki will get that Title shot with Paige, but if the Bellas clash – that’s where it’s going!

One other thing – did you see the altercation between Stephanie & AJ? Brie pushed down Nikki and caught Paige in the process, AJ starts skipping around with the Divas belt and skipped right into Stephanie who used her iron fist lyrically and told AJ to give her the belt…. do we smell a future feud between AJ Lee & Stephanie???? I hope so! The thing I fear though – it will start muthaf**az off, believing that this feud will be the key of Philip getting off his b!tch @$$ and coming back to WWE…

Hol’ on – Next week Cage Match jump off – Bray Wyatt Vs Chris Jericho… I have advice for you Jericho… take a steel chair and beat down the Wyatt bwoy dem! take them out BEFORE the PPV – it won’t be easy, but take example what happened to Cena – his beloved kids turned on his @$$!

Cena Wyatt kid

Oh no that is baaaaaaad! Why did The Dust Brudda have to use a steel chair and f**k up the USO Brudda’s leg yo??? I’m sorry to say this USOs… it’s the beginning of the end of your tag team title reign…..

What’s that Triple TEEF doing back out here??? Oh yeah I forgot he wants to watch this match right here…but hear the joke, earlier Triple botched TWICE – he said Seth Rollins teams up with Randy Orton and the ‘Demon Kane’… I don’t see no Kane… I see Glenn… Kane usually comes out in a mask and sets people on fire and tombstones people for fun… this Glenn – wears school trousers and sh!t!

I’m not gonna even talk about this match because I’m sure you guys worked out what happened… but some dude named Michael Sam is appearing on Raw next week…. I’m not familiar with American Football so call that what you will.

THE GRANT SAYS – Does one guy truly make a difference? Maybe… I mean the IWC are on Ambrose’s d!ck lately because he’s a cross between Austin and Brian Pillman in terms of personality… and because he’s filming a movie suddenly Raw sucks… well in a way it’s true… wasn’t really feeling Raw you know… You know when the kettle boiled for Summerslam, but the unused water remains in the kettle and goes luke warm? It needs boiling again…

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

BDSIR Network

www.cageamateursuk,com

The Jobber Blogger #122 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 27/8/14

Jobber-Blogger

The Jobber Blogger

Well it’s 8:30pm, Sunday the 31st of August, and I’m knackered.

It’s my second day off after my lovely 10 day stint at work, and I think it’s just finally hit me.

Having a nice nap during the day seems to have made things all the worse! But, here we are!

Quick shout out goes to the Cage Amateurs UK team of Jon and Dan, not only for posting up my ramblings for as long as they have, but just for them being awesome guys and sending me a free t-shirt!

Yes, a picture might follow! Just not right now!

bluelineTNA talk time, and it’s quite easy to say that TNA is Getting Wild!!! No, don’t get ahead of yourselves, it’s only getting wild because they’ve been offered a TV Deal by the Discovery Channel, not a bad idea, linking EY’s Off the Hook show with TNA. However the budget they will give TNA will drastically change their product, so it’s a last resort I believe.

Apparently Netflix forked out some ridiculous fee for the rights to some TV show I forgot the name of. That’s a pretty damn good budget. I still think the Online Streaming Market is a good market to get into. I suppose you can say that the WWE Network is under performing. Though I would bet the vast majority of their audience and TNA’s have Netflix, or a product similar. Put it on there, worldwide, no pesky TV limitations, try Live shows? Small extra charge for a PPV, and put out the show at the same time, World Wide. Awesome idea!

I’m sure there’s a lot more to it than that and I have no idea about anything.

Impact Wrestling Logo

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Kurt kicked off the show by standing up in the crowd of the New York fans. Maybe too close to the fans… especially this guy

kurt fan love

I did find it funny that the show went all “Wrestling” quickly, and I mean that in terms of being a typical Wrestling talking match, rather than actually Wrestling.

MVP, Lashley and King hit the ring and poor Kurt just stood next to those fans for quite some time saying nothing…. doing nothing. It’s like they forgot he was there. And also how I used to feel when standing near people. End up sort of in a group, just standing there… too embarrassed to walk away, then people I didn’t know would turn up, people I did know left… and I was just stuck, standing near people I didn’t know, starring at them whilst they talked about crap I had no interest in. Ahh, to be shy again.

Waste of my frickin’ time!

Thankfully MVP was back on form at actually being good on the mic, then for no reason, At All, Tommy Dreamer got involved.

Tommy Dreamer, who has no relevance to this situation was put in this situation. My god! I’ve never noticed how much of a whiney git Dreamer is. Has it always been his “thing” to be a suck up?

Why does he need to get involved in everything and tell people how good they are? How much better they can be. I don’t remember him doing this before?

dreamer loveDreamer who took it upon himself to tell Fortune some years ago how good they all were, then got his ass kicked. He recently came out to tell Dixie how lovely she is, and got hit in the nuts. Now he’s come out to tell MVP, King and Lashley at how far they’ve fallen, to once again get his ass kicked.

Isn’t he supposed to be a talk from the heart in an edgy kind of way. This is just pathetic. Also hilarious. If it’s meant to be serious, then it’s a terrible characteristic. However, having Dreamer tell everyone how lovely they are and he getting beaten up for it, I’m down with that.

bluelineLashley vs. Dreamer – Street Fight

So here’s the problem, and it’s called Lashley vs. Dreamer.

Dreamer has always been the guy who looks like he least belongs in a ring. That’s not to say he can’t wrestle or perform. He just doesn’t look like a Wrestler. He looks like a crew guy who got caught up in something.

Whereas Lashley is arguably the most well built Professional Wrestler going.

I supposed that’s the dynamic of this particular booking.

Lashley took a few good shots from the weapons, but he kept it a Wrestling match and that is how he defeated Dreamer and thankfully it wasn’t too much of a struggle for him.

See they’re building Lashley well now, making him the Destroyer, a true Wrestler, who can’t be beat. Aside from the fact he’s won two of his toughest matches because they made an error, rather than his superiority, that’s the only downside.

bluelineSo the new Knockout – Havok is making her debut next week. Not sure if everyone knew it was a Knockout yet?

Either way, looking forward to it, she looks like a Female Bane….. I’m judging that purely on the mask, no idea what she actually looks like. (Just to cover my tracks on what could have been an insult!) Yay!

Lei'D BanebluelineGunner was hanging out in his Room with Samuel Shaw. Yup, it gets weirder believe it or not.

This was one of those strange to place Wrestling backstage segments again. Because it’s meant to look like a “scene” yet it’s Wrestling, which is based in reality, so there is obviously a Camera Man in the room.

It’s a weird mix, top it off with some bad acting, and well, it’s Wrestling I guess?

Shaw pretended to be drawing, then decided to wear Gunner’s military jacket and salute him.

I’m guessing we’re supposed to see that either Shaw IS crazy, or he’s developing a kind of affection for Gunner.

If this thing turned into a Gay storyline, I think it would catch people off guard. I’d find it funny, so why not. Can’t be any worse than Claire Lynch.

bluelineMadison Rayne vs. Taryn Terrell – #1 Number Contenders – Knockouts Championship

Whilst on the topic of the Knockouts, it appears that Velvet might be distancing herself from TNA. Bully’s contract is now up, so he’s effectively left the company, though he will be at Bound for Glory for the Hall of Fame.

I’m still hopeful Bully isn’t done with TNA. But this apparent relationship between Bully and Velvet, one would imagine that her distancing herself could also be in part due to his departure.

See, this wasn’t a bad match. Taryn is good, she’s good at the more unusual things you wouldn’t see a Knockout doing. The crazy things.

But she’s not that technically good either, though miles better than Velvet… but that’s another story.

I’m easily more of a Madison fan, but whatever, there’s still something about Taryn that just doesn’t seem to “click” as a full package.

What was interesting was Madison’s attempt at cheating, putting her feet on the Ropes. Maybe they think there aren’t enough Heel Knockouts, perhaps they think Madison works better as a heel?

I’m open to her being in the Beautiful People again, hopefully Velvet does stick around, if she goes I don’t think Angelina would be far behind her. That would suck.

But hey, let’s stay on topic, Taryn won. Now she’s off to face Gail Kim for the Knockouts Championship, and guess what, she shouldn’t win.

But she might…

bluelineHomicide, DJ Z, Manik vs. Tigre Uno, Crazy Steve and Low Ki

Random but awesome 6-man X-Division Tag.

Interesting pairing between all of these guys too, given that DJ Z is the only real Heel.

Again, the latter part of Low Ki’s entrance was the only one Televised, so quite obvious who is getting put over.

Uno took his time to shine once more, and he is just excellent! Hopefully he will be put in a match again soon, where he isn’t just “there” to fill in the gaps. Uno vs. Low Ki, I’d like to see that.

Awesome, Fast Paced, Excellent match! Low Ki, picked up the win.

bluelineBobby Roode and Eric Young had one of those “Respect Talks” to each other for their match next week to determine the Number One Contender.

I love how this was played off as a big deal, and struggle to decide the correct action. Despite this was the most obvious course of action, with a Triple Threat not being out of the question either.

Sure, EY and Roode have a history, but it’s not like a really well documented on screen Friendship, aside from their time in Team Canada all of those years ago.

Don’t think they really need to let them telling each other how much they like one another, but it didn’t not work either. Them getting fired up about tearing the Roof Down next week seemed to get a big pop, and no doubt nice Video Footage.

Here’s the thing though, and it gets sticky.

Eric Young defeated Bobby Roode twice, yup, TWICE! To retain the World Championship.

And EY has never been able to defeat Bobby Lashley, at all, or even get close.

Yet Roode seems like the most legit guy to challenge Lashley, and he’s being billed as that. But on paper, Roode couldn’t beat EY, so therefore Roode shouldn’t be able to beat Lashley (as far as logic goes). And EY has been defeated by Lashley so many times, that he’s not going to stand a chance.

So what’s the point? Unless they do swing a Triple Threat. Either way, I’d like Lashley to keep the belt. I’ve wanted Storm on top for some time now, and I’m into this idea of him forming a Revolution, he’d be a good figure head. So my perfect idea, is Lashley remains dominant, till the onslaught of Storm and his Revolution. Heel on Heel.

I like that idea.

bluelineEthan Carter the Third vs. Rhino

Remember that guy I made fun of in the crowd a few weeks back? No… well up yours!

shyguy^ This guy. Yup, even TNA are mocking him now, gave him some more screen time and Taz and Tenay burst out laughing at the poor guy. I found it funny.

creepy fan 2Something else I found rather funny, was when Tenay and Taz were talking about Dixie’s interview from last week, Taz making some comment about how Mike should have asked her something. Tenay responded saying it must have got edited out, to which Taz brilliantly replied “I thought they didn’t edit anything on this show”. Who knows if that was scripted, but Impact is so badly and poorly edited at times, that I enjoyed this comment.

I also liked how Taz and Tenay had to tell Rhino’s story during this match to try and make you think he’s the good guy. His alliance with EC3 and Dixie was only about money, and they were never friends.

Yup, you want people to be against EC3 and on Rhino’s side, well apart from the fact Rhino has some history people will latch onto, Rhino does look like an idiot in all of this.

So yeah, I routed for EC3, and much to my enjoyment he got himself a Chair and beat the high holy hell out of Rhino with it. To the point where Spud told him to Calm Down.

I enjoyed this, it makes me like EC3, and I’m against Rhino throughout this crappy storyline, so I enjoyed that more.

bluelineThe Great Sanada vs. Austin Aries

Storm came out to introduce Sanada, talk about his Revolution and that Sanada is the “first of many”. So I am liking the idea. Again, Storm being on a losing streak doesn’t exactly make him a good mentor.

Sanada debuted his new look, which is also The Great Muta’s old look. Not very original of Storm really.

I did quite like it though. What I appreciated more is that Sanada is supposed to be the one put over, but he didn’t bury Aries.

Aries was as legit as ever, but Sanada was playing dirty and Storm was getting involved, so I’m cool with Aries taking the fall.

I particularly liked Sanada’s counter to the Brain Buster by Biting Aries’ hand. “Biting” is obviously used a fair bit in Wrestling, but to have Sanada with his arms out, Aries’ hand in mouth, as he pulled himself out of the hold. Nice touch.

In the end though Storm shook the ropes to make Aries fall from the top, Sanada sprayed the mist in his face then finished him off with a Superkick for the win.

I look forward to where this goes, and in a lot of ways this felt like old wrestling. Having a manager out there, debuting his new talent, trying to put him over. I don’t know why, but the appearance helped too, I liked it. I look forward to where this leads and hope Storm actually brings more people into this revolution.

bluelineChris Malendez had his Debut, least in appearance.

It’s a weird one. I get why he’s impressive, I get why it’s an amazing thing to achieve, I get why he’s respected. I just don’t see longevity in his career.

I honestly feel TNA’s signing of an “American Hero” is more for publicity than anything else. I liked the story of Anderson putting him in touch with Bully and Devon. But then Bully and Devon were called the “best trainers” and I think Rob Terry came from their school, either way Jesse Neal did, and he sucked.

Not to mention he was in the Marines, Navy? I don’t think he got free training.

I don’t mean this to sound harsh, but the idea of a one legged Wrestler doesn’t interest me, if anything I find it off putting. It is fantastic to be able to get where he is, but there will always be a limit of what he can do, always.

Zack Gowen is obviously the comparison, and I hated him. It bugs me to this day that his only win, ONLY WIN, was against Matt Hardy. That should never have happened. EVER!

bluelineTeam 3D vs. The Hardyz vs. The Wolves – Match 1

Honestly, I put no notes. Well, I wrote down that Team 3D won, and that the match was awesome.

This is what I will say, this match was fantastic! We knew it would be.

There isn’t anything I can really say to do it justice, just watch it.

However, as good as this match was, I didn’t put it forward for a Match of the Year Nomination.

Now, why didn’t I do that?

Two reasons, number one, this match though special, isn’t as special as the first two matches between Hardyz and the Wolves, and Hardyz vs. Team 3D.

Number two, and this is the main reason, this was Match Number 1, these are going to get crazy good, I know it. So this won’t be the best, and the best, will be the best, and then that will be put forward I’m sure.

I love Tag-Team Wrestling!

 

blueline

Good show, no more major news regarding TNA currently, Manik has re-signed, so that’s good.

Till next time!

Dan Wilkinson

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Monday Night Raw #1109: August 25, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

I stand before you a damned fool… I usually do the knowledge on a lot of sh!t, but not this Ice Bucket challenge sh!t… I understand that it’s for a cause, but ask yourself: Is the money REALLY going there? Why did we not think of those in third world countries who are dying for a drop of water? Why did Band Aid make that song 30 years ago, and up-til now the kids are STILL starving? Why did I engage in an activity that my ancestors were subject to torture? I can’t hold myself completely accountable…since my favourite celebrities did the same thing. Don’t get me wrong – I loved watching y’all do the challenge online (especially some of the women on my FB list… GOD DAYUUUM!) If the money goes to the cause, fair play… but if not, and there’s no true cure for cancer, and the kids in third world countries are still to be fed…

ice-bucket-challenge-memes_2

I AM THE INFAMOUS INFORMER, WOLVERHAMPTON’S LAST OUTLAW, GRANTINGTON STEELE – (That’s what happens if certain divas come near me not mentioning any names – (Layla) AND THIS IS THE RAW REVIEW BLOG! EPISODE #1109 – HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZWord on the street is that Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair & Shawn Michaels is in the hiz-house!!! But why? It was Vincent Kennedy’s birthday on Sunday… Get this wrestling fans – Vincent Kennedy turns 70 NEXT YEAR – That day falls on a Monday, August 24…. just letting y’all know…

The first ever WWE Hall Of Fame Forum??? I’m sure they had one of these before that featured Booker-T & Bret Hart among others…. well anyway let’s see what this is saying…

They are gonna discuss John Cena Vs Brock Lesnar???? You know the conqueror is gonna show up… Hogan and Lesnar reportedly talking trash…

Dayuuum HBK doubts Cena! HBK thinks Cena might have to start considering retirement???? Surely not??!!! Ric Flair agrees with him!!! Dayum he’s not feeling it! Only Hogan thinks differently! Well he would, he’s all about hulking up on some bullsh!t and coming back with a leg drop…. Big ups to HBK and Flair, they keeps it real!

Cena – you said you gonna bring the fight to Brock! Last time you said that Brock German Suplexed your blodclart 16 times!

Forget David Vs Goliath… this is some Rocky Vs Drago sh!t!!!

Here’s another fool who thinks he can win against my newest hero Rusev!!! Swagger – IT’S OVER FOR YOU!!! last time you passed out to the Accolade super move… this time he’s gonna break your back and your neck! RUSEV – I’m not as attractive or as ravishing like Lana, but RUSEV – CRUSH!!!

YES JAY -BEE! You started the lyric game early! “Swagger needs to make amends! if he doesn’t he has to leave the country!” That only drives me to support Rusev even more!!!! Imagine that!!! that should be the stipulation right there!

I can’t lie – I thought Swagger had that much won when he got the patriot lock on Rusev. Rusev looked like he was gonna bite his own hand! NO RUSEV!!! Don’t let Vladimir Putin down!

Ha ha! I love that sh!t! Swagger screaming ‘We the People’ at Rusev, and before he could finish, Rusev kicks him down as if to say SHUDDUP!!! LET’S GO RUSEV!!! For me! For Putin! For the WORLD!!! And most importantly, for LANA! You want more of that sweet pu$$y don’t you???!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

YES!!!! RUSEV BEAT HIM DOWN!!!! STAMPED HIM OUT!!! Where’s the flag at? YES! That is REPRESENTING!

So nice for Bo Dallas to check in on Swagger while the doc is checking his ribs out… I mean he’s right, all he had to do was Bo-Lieve!

Here’s another case of whoever loses, I win! RVD Vs Cesaro – winner fights Sheamus for the US Title at Night of Champions… I like all three guys so it should be a great contest come the PPV…

..and even though Cesaro vs Sheamus will be a great match… can’t help but feel that WWE dropped the ball here…it’s time for Rusev to go against the US champion… then you couldn’t call a champion!!! Rusev is undefeated!!! Or are they going to save that til a future PPV like say I dunno…. Survivor Series???

Right for all you jabronies who are wondering what’s the point watching Raw if Ambrose is not on tonight, here’s an answer…GRANT & LAYLA WWE2K15 Paige Vs Natalya! I am SO FEELING Natalya’s attire, shows off her sexy thighs…. dayum girl!

JAY-BEE YOU DID IT AGAIN! ” Can you imagine if Natalya has to tap out to her own move? She’d be thrown out of Canada!”

Well Natalya won’t be thrown out of Canada… but she lost to Paige’s supermove – The Paige Turn… but forget all that – What the deal with AJ Lee??? Hugged up Paige and called her  – her English Muffin??? Took her hand and kissed her? Damnit why doesn’t these two just get it over with and get some scissor action going???

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Wait a minute – a eulogy for Dean Ambrose???? JAY BEE is killing me today! He says he’s gonna miss him! Look at Kane and Seth Rollins dressed in black! Yo Kane! Where the casket at? Oh yeah – last time you f**ked around with a casket your brother f**ked your head up!

I have a question Rollins: How are you gonna blame US – The WWE Universe for choosing the stipulation when they were all the same sh!t last week??? Falls Count Anywhere/No DQ/No Holds Barred = ALL THE SAME SH!T!

Ok Rollins you destroyed the Shield…. INJUSTICE! Roman Reigns is coming down the stairs! Kane & Rollins cannot handle the Rage of Reigns!

Right you IWC B!tches it is clear that Reigns is feuding with the whole authoritaah! One by one, until he faces Triple Teef. After that, he will send for the Rumble and win that mofo, go to WrestleMania and become…. CHAMPION! But here’s the twist – Brock WILL NOT be the opponent… you know why??? Because of one Dwayne Johnson… You forget Vincent Kennedy wants that money match for WrestleMania 31… He wants Brock Vs Rock II. Roman will most likely fight whoever the champion is by then. Will Sting fight Undertaker? Time will tell. Why is Hogan in training? He hinted at Cena… remember the words of the Infamous Informer… I have just predicted 4 matches right there!

Ok we gonna get a tag team championship match that I felt should have waited til Night of Champions but…. I’m gonna go with WWE’s madness and see where this goes… The USO Brudda! The Dust Brudda! LET’S GO!

Oh no! They went USO crazy! But did they fake that knee injury to get themselves disqualified? And if they did, Was that a ‘heel turn’ by The Dust Brudda??? Beating down the USO brudda like that??? Answers on a postcard please! Or holla at us at the WWE smack talk centre – http://www.facebook.com/groups/smacktalkcentre – Request to join – DON’T BE A WEIRDO!

ANOTHER AWARD WINNING INTERVIEW PROMO FROM BRRROCCCK LESSSNAR!!!! He’s basically saying that for 12 years Cena was only the man because Brock went on to conquer other sh!t, which he did…he claims that Night of Champions will be Cena’s LAST NIGHT! Oh man!!!! As an Undertaker fan, I don’t feel so bad anymore, even though I’m over the streak thing!

Oh f**k… Miz & Ziggler are on… this is the part where I go to the toilet… I don’t even need the toilet – I’m gonna switch on my PS3 and have a quick game of Soul Calibur…

Say what? Damien Mizdow? The Miz’s stunt double???? Lawd have mercy – let me hit the PS3 switch…

In fact f**k that – let me see my favourite Ice Bucket challenge…. I got a bit of a Soul Calibur going on in my pants watching this!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Looks like my Soul Calibur is gonna stand at attention because now the Bella Twins are in the ring… and if Nikki Bella ‘hates’ her sister, shouldn’t she change her music???

Jerry Lawler is gonna see if he can reconcile the two… more like get a Bella sandwich!!!! DUTTY BWOY!!!

Oh snap – she just took a shot at the guys that can’t get any pu$$y! Taking shots at Danny! Jerry Lawler!!! I thought Summerslam was time of the month but now she wished death in the womb! Dayuum she assaulting Brie! I see you wrestling dorks hoping for a wardrobe malfunction and got your Sky Boxes hoping to hit pause if you catch a glimpse of Nikki’s panties! Ha! Your eyes have to be razor-sharp like mine hahaaha! I’ll be looking forward to your saddo Sky pause screen shots on Facebook!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Get it over with Bella Twins give the fans what they want – a good ol’ bra & panties match! (Calm down Edmund Mulhall!)

Oh man don’t tell me Kane is gonna fight in his school trousers again…. the new school term starts in two weeks! If he splits his trousers… oh boy oh boy!

Handicap match! Ka – f**k that – I’m calling him Glenn from now on… My hero Kane wears a mask and tombstones priests and sets people pon fire! This guy with Seth Rollins fighting Roman Reigns? His name is GLENN!

Clearly these guys are not here to win the match – they are here to f**k up Reigns! NO – WAY – I know they didn’t send for the cinder blocks again to drive Reigns head top through them like they did Ambrose… luckily for Reigns he had strength to fight off Rollins and Glenn!

I like how JAY-BEE & Jerry Lawler are arguing about the actions of Rollins & Reigns, Michael Cole stays out of it and then cuts in to talk about the WWE Network which 170 countries can get for $9.99! Great commentating guys!

Ok, Kofi Kingston is in the ring… time to pay attention. We gonna find out the truth if this ‘Black Men United’ faction will manifest or if it has disbanded like the dirt sheets say and you jabronies read and Bo-lieve…

Talking of Bo-Lieve, why did Swagger attack Bo Dallas for??? All Bo Dallas did was give words of inspiration…Sore loser…

Right we gonna see if Cena’s fighting style has cracks in it after that beatdown by Lesnar… don’t worry Cena – Bray Wyatt cannot drop 16 suplexes on yo’ @$$!

Wait a minute – is John Cena dropping suplexes on Wyatt??? Rude boy – he’s sending messages to Lesnar here! I wonder – is Cena gonna rise like the Undertaker and stick his tongue out???

Well Cena didn’t make it to 16 – The Wyatt man dem clocked on and shut that down quick! Hol on a minute playas! This ain’t Teddy Long but The Grant says watch this become a six man tag team match… because Big Show and my hero Mark Henry have got involved!

Ok let’s look at it on the real… Can Cena execute 16 suplexes? Or can Wyatt take that punishment? So basically they styled it out???

The authority made it a 6-man tag team match… did they really? I don’t remember seeing Triple Teef or Stephanie’s sexy @$$ there??!!! Unless it was Glenn who issued it… let me check their twitter real quick… in fact f**k that – it’s not important!

Wow! Cena came different yo! He didn’t send for his 5 moves of doom…but he dropped those Supermoves on all the Wyatt’s @$$£$! Well you gotta give the kids hope! Restore their faith in their hero!

Meanwhile….

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IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Jobber Blogger #121 – TNA: HARDCORE JUSTICE – 20/8/14

Jobber-Blogger-logo2

The Jobber Blogger

We’re getting intimate in this issue, it’s you and I reader, 1 2 1.

Or in other terms, it’s issue #121, but who cares? I like to be tantalising.

Speaking of things being Tantalising, what a mess TNA is in huh?

Bully Ray wants out because TNA just can’t negotiate his contract, and he’s said to not be the only one. With TNA’s TV Negotiations with Spike being up in the air, they can’t even think about re-signing any of their bigger named stars.

So that leaves us where?

TNA has brought back the Six Sided ring and done their best to push the product, but it’s not sticking.

Jeff Jarrett left, AJ Styles has gone, Bad Influence has gone, Chris Sabin has gone, Sting has gone, Hogan, Bully Ray claims to be leaving, Kurt Angle wants out. Tons of backstage personnel have left.

Spike TV is currently cancelling Impact.

Awesome.

Not to mention there is a major concern with Bound for Glory this year as it takes place in Tokyo, apparently the event isn’t even being plugged.

It will be a big arena.. with no one in it. Least the Japanese audience have the reputation of being “silent” so hey, it might not be noticeable. That’s called looking at the glass half full folks!

tnajapanAnother dumb thing TNA have done is the Hall of Fame. A company that hasn’t been around more than 15 years has its own Hall of Fame. It’s blatantly and painfully obvious they just want to induct those the WWE will no doubt induct down the line. Hey, its their money right?

But after 2014 is all and done with, what will TNA’s Elite Hall of Fame look like?

tnahalloffameThe very people that should be in a TNA Hall of Fame are still actively in their prime, and also don’t work for the company.

Whatever it is, TNA just doesn’t work. It’s as simple as that, it just feels like it’s a matter of time. They’re pushing it out there, and it’s just slipping through their fingers, one day, in a year or more, sooner or later, TNA will eventually close its doors at this rate.

The ironic thing is the guy who loved TNA more than anyone else, wasn’t allowed to have control, so he left, being Jarrett. That set off a string, with the likes of AJ Styles most importantly wanting out.

Now here we are, Bully Ray being the top guy, a Locker-room leader, talking high praise of TNA, rallying up the guys in the back, letting them know TNA is a secure place to work. Now he wants out too.

I thought Jarrett was storyline, I thought AJ would be storyline, now Bully seems to be storyline, but I’m sure that’s because they need an exit strategy.

It’s called Dixie Carter, who will be the death of TNA – but more on that later.

tnahardcorejustice

bluelineTNA: HARDCORE JUSTICE – 20/8/14

Yes, it was the return of Hardcore Justice! Which didn’t feel like a PPV, but they’re not supposed to anymore. What is an interesting fact, is that Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, Al Snow, Bully Ray and Devon all Hardcore guys, all from ECW, all in New York, on a show All About Hardcore! And none of them had a match. So that was nice. bluelineBram vs. Abyss – Stairway to Janice

You know, in a lot of ways, Abyss sucks these days. He’s kind of the same, he is capable of being the same, but he just doesn’t feel the same. He doesn’t feel like that force, and if I’m honest, he just doesn’t look like it.

I hope his current “thing” leads to him getting back to where he was. I’m not a fan of his new attire at all, and I wasn’t that keen on his old one. I miss the Denim Shirt look.

abyssthroughtheyearsOn the plus side it does seem like he is growing his hair back, so I guess Joseph Park is all wrapped up and done with. It was a good idea, it just didn’t really go anywhere, but yes, as I’ve said many times, that is TNA’s writing in a nut shell – good ideas, poor execution.

Which means the interesting dynamic is Bram. He’s like a more legit Abyss these days. He’s new, he’s arguably more intense. I hope he actually likes these kinds of matches, and they haven’t just booked him in them. Because if he genuinely likes the Hardcore style, then that’s awesome, because he’s very good at it.

With the build up to this match, I actually thought TNA might go real old school and bring out Barbed Wire Massacre, but thankfully they didn’t, because those were pretty damn brutal to watch.

Although the Stairway to Janice is a little bit of a dumb idea, and Abyss much like Mick Foley is always at the hands of his own weapons. So it would be nice if Abyss got to “stretch” a little. Though he did hit Joe with it not so long ago. I think that was Abyss? I honestly don’t remember anymore.

Bram dived through a Barbed Wire board, Abyss was tipped off a Ladder into the other, Bram took a Black Hole Slam onto the Tacks, but in the end Bram with Janice, once again took the win.

Realistically this should mean it’s over and done with, Bram wins. Which in my head says Abyss needs to go crazy. And then it’s done and better. Yes…

Bram and Magnus had an interesting little meet up backstage with Magnus looking at Bram as the bigger star. So they’re probably going to collide at some point. But currently with Bram being as dominant as he is, what chance does Magnus have? A Body Warmer? Really?! bluelineEC3, Spud and Rhino

This is something I wasn’t expecting to take away from this week’s show, and it’s called “I actually quite like EC3″.

ec3likeWhen did this happen?

I did however like it when MVP, Lashley and King beat him up in the back, but this very segment was the typical nerve grinding trash that annoys me, and I think I swung the wrong way to what they wanted.

On a side note, Spud’s hair cut is just getting ridiculously bad….

It could be worse, he could pour a bucket of Ice Water over his head. Because that’s a thing now.

Hey Ho! It’s gone Viral! But Hey Ho! Everyone’s lost track of the point of it, and they’re just pouring water over themselves… such is life, such is the internet, such are idiots.

Full God Damn Stop!

icebucketAnd People Say Wrestling’s Dumb

EC3 passed the Blame for Dixie going through a Table right onto Rhino’s soldiers. And sure, it’s the whole Storyline thing again, but really, wasn’t Rhino Hired for the sole purpose, of not letting that happen. So EC3 isn’t exactly Wrong.

I’ve suddenly found a Reason to dislike Rhino, because EC3 blamed him, he then went all Brock Lesnar type of High Pitch squeally talking about Ethan’s Ass.

Also something about Dirt Porn?

rhinodirtpornCould have meant Dirt Poor, but my mind only works a certain way, and if that way is funnier, I’m going with it.

Then Mr. Crappy Hardcore got his Ass kicked by EC3, and I liked it! I enjoyed Ethan kicking the crap out of Rhino, and even pushing Spud to the floor. So if that was your intention, well done. Also I guess this means EC3 and Rhino will have a match, and then once again, Rhino will get fired.

Because that’s how he rolls…. not literally…. but also,……. literally.

rhinounemployed

bluelineLow Ki vs. Samoa Joe – X-Division Championship

I guess it’s no secret, I’m not really that wild about Samoa Joe.

I like him, I’m glad he’s still around, I just don’t know where to place him. I’d happily have put him in a strong “TV / Global” Championship run. But he doesn’t quite fit the bill for the main events anymore. And I mean in the best of ways.

When Joe debuted, he was intimidating to watch, let alone think about being in the ring with him. He doesn’t command that presence anymore, but his reputation has stuck with him.

However, against Low Ki, in New York, as the new X-Division Championship, I’m glad to say, this is the first time I’ve seen that Joe, in a long time.

When he took the brunt of the chop and kick onslaught from Low Ki, then built up steam from mid ring to connect with his Forearm to the head. That moment when Joe turns around all fired up and the crowd are going nuts for him, That, right there, is Samoa Joe, and it’s freaking cool!

This was the X-Division of old, it’s not just about being a High Flyer, it’s about the competition, the competative nature, and Joe showed that, as did Low Ki in spades. This was the most competitive and exciting X-Division Match since Austin Aries’ original run the Championship in 2012.

As I said, this is supposed to mark a new re-birth of the X-Division, and Joe fits the bill better than anyone else right now to carry that torch. For that reason alone, despite how awesome Low Ki is, we all knew Joe wasn’t going to lose that belt.

A Short Muscle Buster later, and Joe picked up the win.

But in terms of the matches and the style that built TNA Wrestling, this was it. It’s just a shame a lot of the top stars and pioneers aren’t around to join in.

That doesn’t stop Samoa Joe vs. Low Ki from going into the Match of the Year Nominations though.

Because it was that good!

joeslip

bluelineMr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw – I Quit

A bit of a random match to throw out there. It almost feels like Anderson and Shaw weren’t quite at the right point to have a match of this brutality again.

There really isn’t all that much you can say about the match either. But currenty, Anderson is still maintaining that level of what makes him cool. His new Anti-smoking program hits home too, so all is good.

Gunner came out to watch over the match, but in the end it was a nasty Arm-Bar that caused Shaw to Quit.

I’m struggling to find vast amounts of interest in this storyline anymore.

bluelineThe Hardyz and Team 3D tossed around this “idea” of chasing the TNA World Tag-Team Championships. Which of course involves The Wolves. Now really, this is old news. Despite it being just announced on Television, TNA themselves announced it a few weeks back, but what I didn’t know, was why I love this idea so much!

It’s not just The Hardyz vs. Team 3D vs The Wolves.

It’s a freakin best of x2 Series. Shame it’s not 3, but the 3 teams involved give it that much needed wiggle room.

The first Team to win x2 Matches, win the Belts. Each match gets a new Stipulation, so we’re going to have this series run for a little while, and no doubt the deciding match will be Full Metal Mayhem. Probably Bound for Glory.

Also awesome on Matt sticking around for the foreseeable future, that’s a boost!

bluelineOne of the other top promoted segments on this week’s show was Mike Tenays interview with Dixie Carter.

As I said last week, how the hell are we supposed to move on from Dixie’s “reign of terror” when she’s still part of the show.

Not only is she part of the show, but she’s coming back when she’s “healed”.

Now I love the fact they made her heel, against AJ Styles, that was perfect. Great timing. It started to run a little thin after AJ and Sting were “fired”.

I like the idea of putting Dixie front and centre of being the “problem” of TNA, and that gives people a source rather than just knowing the people behind the scenes are messing it up.

Which means this, no matter whose fault it is, Dixie on TV, doesn’t work. People hate it. People don’t want to watch it, people don’t want this in their Wrestling show, people don’t like seeing Dixie Carter, and more importantly, People Don’t Care About This Wrestling Storyline! To the point that TNA’s big Dixie vs. Bully – Tables lark, drew the lowest ratings, every single week. No one cares. Putting Dixie through a Table, that was cool, good moment, but that should have been it. It was finished. Now rather than it being the End, it’s back to being a New Beginning.

Who working at TNA has this constant plan for Dixie to be a Television Character. It was fundamental in Jeff Jarrett leaving, because he didn’t want Dixie on TV anymore. Yet despite the “All important Ratings” and despite how many don’t like it, they are still doing it. Stop!

Let it go.

I’m not saying never have her on TV agian, but for the love of anything fluffy and stained, let it breathe.

dixie tvThat’s a Direct Quote, by the way

bluelineAngelina Love (w/Velvet Sky) vs. Gail Kim – Last Knockout Standing – Knockouts Championship

Is it bad that the pre-taped attacked from Angelina to Gail from “last week” looked as though it was filmed prior to this match… given that they were wearing the same attire as this week, rather than last.

Picky I know, but don’t BS me, least put some effort into it.

What makes it worse is this whole “Angelina doesn’t deserve a title shot” crap. Frickin’ hate it when Face GM’s and Heel GM’s bend the rules due to the good and bad guys. If there is a Wrestling rule, just stick to it. Even if it’s a sucky run of mill screw job, just stick to the contractual rematch clause. It doesn’t dissapear because “she’s been bad!”

Winds me up!

Angelina LoveShe isn’t capable of being bad! Look at that smile! =D

Guess what? The match was awesome, once again the Knockouts showing why they are credible, and once again the New York fans respecting it. I like that.

The Knockouts rule!

Though my biased love of Angelina Love makes me sad she didn’t win, and after a lovely Botox Injection into a Steel Chair connecting with Gail, I thought she might actually do it.

But alas not.

I hoped for a run – in aid from someone unexepected to then align themselves with The Beautiful People, but that didn’t happen either.

In the end, Gail managed to defeat Angelina and Velvet, who was active through-out the match, and the closing moments were this horrible looking back slam / fall, Gail delivered to Angelina onto a chair.

Unlike most moves “onto a chair” Angelina fully landed on the chair, and it looked dangerously close to Gail getting her Arm trapped under her. Thank fully everyone seems fine!

Awesome match!

But poor Angelina =(

Angelina love title

bluelineAustin Aries vs. Eric Young vs. Gunner vs. James Storm vs. Magnus vs. Bobby Roode – Six Sides of Steel – Number #1 Contender Match – World Heavyweight Championship

What was awkward was MVP, Lashley and King taking centre stage before the match got underway. Normally MVP shines on the mic, but he seemed to be struggling and it just wasn’t all that pleasent, or all that enjoyable.

Despite my dislike for James Storm becoming Sanada’s new Mentor, I am now actually rather intrigued.

I still don’t see Storm in a “I am your greatness, I am the light” kind of way, like making him bow to him and crap.

However! I do see Storm as the kind of guy to start a Revolution, and a Revolution of the Japanese Culture is interesting. The Great Muta’s apprentice being pulled away from him by Storm, and Storm shaping Sanada into something darker to battle The Great Muta, as The Great Sanada – That, has my interest!JamesStormLightThe only problem now, is that Storm is 100% pathetic. In terms of he hasn’t won a match in ages, his only World Championship reign lasted a Week, and his first time so show Sanada how it’s done, he doesn’t even come close to winning his match.

So why, in all of the hells, would Sanada look at James Storm as the one to lead him to greatness, because Storm himself, hasn’t even achieved it.

JamesStormLightcrapI have to say this, and I hate to admit it, but this match sucked.

For a Main Event, in a Cage, it was pretty lame.

Felt rather rushed, nothing was really all that engaging. The double Tower of Doom from either side was cool. But with EY and Roode climbing to the top and racing each other down, I fully expected there to be another match or a restart or something of that nature to take place. But instead it just ended. It felt very anti-climatic.

Obvious Roode was going to win, but I’m glad EY did too. He is still holding onto that level of credibility since he won the World Championship. That is nice to see, wonder how long it will last?

bluelineGood show over-all, just the more TNA news you hear the more it taints the product.

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

www.TheJobberBlogger.wordpress.com

www.TheSteelChair.com

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)www.cageamateursuk.com

Monday Night Raw #1108: August 18, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!!!! DOLPH ZIGGLER: NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION, INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!

PAIGE, NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION, DIVAS CHAMPION!

BRRROCCK LESSNAR, DESTROYED JOHN CENA WITH 16 GERMAN SUPLEXES, TAKES AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT FROM JOHN CENA, RISE UP LIKE THE UNDERTAKER, ROLLS EYES IN THE BACK OF HIS HEAD, COMES BACK WITH 2 F5s… NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION, UNDISPUTED CHAMPION!

BUT THE STAR WAS TRIPLE TEEF & NIKKI BELLA! BRIE, FIGHTING FOR HERSELF, DANNY BRYAN, THE BIG SHOW, HER OWN SISTER, THE WWE UNIVERSE, THEN SUDDENLY – BLAOW!!!! NIKKI TURNED ON HER TWIN SISTER, STEPHANIE WITH HER SEXY @$$ – PEDIGREE TO BRIE BELLA – BLAOW!!!

IF YOU THOUGHT THAT SUMMERSLAM WAS WACK, STOP READING THIS RAW BLOG NOW. I DON’T WANT INTERNET WRESTLING B!TCHES LIKE YOU READING MY SH!T!

I AM THE INFAMOUS INFORMER, WOLVERHAMPTON’S LAST OUTLAW, THE MAN IN THE PURPLE SUIT – KAZUYA GRANTSHIMA, THROWING GUT PUNCHES TO INTERNET WRESTLING DUMB MUTHAF***AZ! AND THIS IS THE RAW REVIEW BLOG! EPISODE #1108 – HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZShout out to The Jobber Blogger for putting me on to theSteelCage.com… All being well they will hear of the foul-mouthed nemesis of the IWC!

OH SNAP!!!! DANNY BRYAN’S MUSIC HIT! No way! You don’t think…But out came Stephanie! Sporting her new blouse! STEPH! STEPH! STEPH! Look at her bouncing around the ring like Danny would, but her t!tt!£$ bouncing around?? BEAUTIFUL!!! Best opening segment in along while! Steph we love you!!!!

How can you make this segment better? Bring out who is seemingly apart of the authority… Nikki Bella! Two women with fake t!tt!£$!!! It doesn’t matter… Nikki & Steph make me wanna have four hands! So I can give….4 thumbs up!!!!!

LAWD HAVE MERCY! Nikki talking trash about her flesh and blood!!!! Nikki & Steph chatting like they’re best friends! TwoSexy Steph 2 weeks ago Steph pedigreed Nikki’s @$$ into the canvas! Brie having none of this and was ready to forgive but – Dayum!!! Nikki slapping her sister in the face – WHAAAAM! Am I heartbroken? Hell nah! When Cameron & Naomi split, that hurt me…

By the way remind me to make adjustments on WWE2K14…

So w’happen, the German announce team gonna be on Raw every week??? Zeb Colter ain’t gonna like that sh!t! They won the world cup – they can do anything they want! Now shuddup!

Remember when The Big Show & Mark Henry used to be the deadliest of enemies? They broke the ring and sh!t! Now they are a team….that’s worries for the tag team division!

That means you Wyatt Fam! Sean Price Punch followed by the World’s Strongest Slam to Erick Rowan – BLAOW!!!! Right you IWC b!tches go ahead and say Show & Henry should put over the new talent – not ‘bury’ them as you call it – SHUT THE F**K UP! What’s the point in Show & Henry teaming up only to lose??? Don’t start me jabronies….

Miz what do you look like with that Kylie Minogue looking robe? Looking like a battyman and sh!t? You’re invoking your rematch clause? Good luck to you… I’m not watching these two fight again… I know y’all love him and y’all up his @$$… STC’s Andrew Theaker says he thinks that Ziggler should be the one to defeat Brock Lesnar for the title somewhere down the line… The Grant Says – that sh!t happens – that’s me done with WWE!!! (Yeah right Grant…!!!)

…and the rivalry continues! Seth Rollins been interviewed by Renee Young, Seth probably got a hard on looking at Renee only to get a cold ice shower by Dean Ambrose!!!

“Hey, it’s for charity!!!” That could be the lyric of the week!!!! YES AMBROSE!!! How the f**k can Seth fight Ambrose after that? DISRESPECT!!!!

I’m starting to wonder – does Paige have a crush on AJ???? She’s dedicated her match against Natalya, did she get ‘wet’ when she was in a mounted position? I mean I don’t blame her nah-mean?

10629730_10100191205993979_3346841656474374138_n

Oh no!!!! AJ skipping around the ring costed Paige the match! She can’t do that! Does that mean Natalya can fight for the title? By the way Natalya – loving the attire! Dayuuum girl you got thighs!!!! Come here!!!

Uh-oh!!!! TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEF!!!! What does he want!!!! Oh hang on, Stephanie’s out again! Excuse me while I get the cocoa butter…

Stephanie looks like she’s wearing one of those skimpy nightgowns!!!! Dammit I got a song for Stephanie, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart…

Look, look, when your phone rings and his name shows
Baby you supposed to be excited to say “hello”
So if your phone rings and your mood drops
Then all that means is you should make a move ma

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! THIS IS BRILLIANT! They presented the new championship belt to BRRRROOOCCCK LESSSNAAAR! Triple Teef, Brock, Paul Heyman & Stephanie posing proudly with the belt! Last year Triple & Brock were trying to destroy each other! Brock destroyed Triple’s office!

The crowd chanting Lesnar! And Heyman giving another epic promo! Lesnar loves it when Heyman pronounces his name! SO DO I!!!!

WHOA! John Cena earned Heyman’s respect and admiration! He would have taken on Cena as a Paul Heyman guy! DROP THE BOMB ON EM!

HOLY SH!T! WORD LIFE! THIS IS BASIC BROCKONOMICS! EAT! SLEEP! SUPLEX! REPEAT!!!! I LOVE IT!!!! EAT! SLEEP! F5! REPEAT! He didn’t have to send for the Kimura Lock!

Straight up & down I ain’t watching this sh!t….put back on AJ Lee & Paige! Better than that – put on Stephanie again! In fact let’s get a picture of Stephanie’s sexy @$$!

Stephanie Summerslam

I was hoping for a wardrobe malfunction but…. such is life!

Well hopefully that concludes the bullsh!t @$$ Miz/Ziggler feud, Miz lost again, time for Ziggler to keep it moving!

F**k me Renée Young… I mean I say this every week… YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’D DO TO YOU!

Swagger coming out on his own… JAY-BEE asking – where’s Zeb? WHO GIVES A F**K?! He deserved that kick in his head! Don’t feel sorry for that tedious old nearly dead! He disrespected my people. Big E Langston waved the flag and you muthaf***az booed him. You boo your own president but you put your hand on…. you know what…. I’m gonna calm down… just know that Karma is a B!TCH!

Come on Cesaro! Brukk up that fool! Go Tekken on his b!tch @$$! He let America down! F**K WACK SWAGGER! Nas is my hero! America is not what you think it is!

THAT’S IT JAY-BEE CUSS DOWN WACK SWAGGER! HE LET THE 50 STARS AND THE 13 BARS DOWN!!!! OLD GLORY IS ASHAMED! When The Undertaker represented America against Test at Summerslam 2002 – HE BRUKK UP HIS CLART!

YES CESARO! HE BRUKK HIM UP! Guess who comes out at the right time! Bo Dallas is here! He is an inspiration to us all!

Speak Bo!!!! Tell him he can get his confidence back if he BO-LIEVES!!!!

6-man tag team action! Randall & Rybaxel vs Sheamus, RVD & Roman Reigns! Yo why you booing Roman Reigns for?? What are you dumb or something? There’s a penalty for success? Why – because he doesn’t sit down and cross his legs like a little boy? He doesn’t read his muthaf**! comic books? No – I get it – Roman Reigns doesn’t wear pink brief… he doesn’t shake his @$$… you hate Roman because the women love him… You see – the more you boo men like Reigns… the more I detest Dolph Ziggler! Skills aside – my spirit cannot take to him!

I wonder why the crowd are starting to chant for Ryback these days???? Do you have any idea? Answers on a postc – oh I heard the commentators say they are in Ryback’s home town!!!!

Oh no! Ryback’s team lose again!!!! Why doesn’t Ryback brukk up Curtis Axel…. just for his hometown!QUESTION

QUESTION – What’s the difference between a No Holds Barred Match, a No Disqualification Match and a Falls Count Anywhere match? They are all the muthaf***!n same apart from the falls count anywhere! If the NO DQ match or the No Holds Barred match gets picked on the WWE App, you the WWE Universe are f**k!mg dumb fools, OK!!!!

…and just for the record, a ‘Street Fight’ is the same sh!t too! And ‘Extreme Rules’ match is the same sh!t! Just call it a muthaf***!n Hardcore match!

I can’t lie to ya, I am a crazy mofo… I cuss The Miz & Dolph Ziggler for acting like a faggot but when it comes to Goldust I just love the character! Goldust & Stardust Vs The Usos – sure to be a great contest – if Dust2Dust can get a win – we are in for a series of classic contests!

Who’s that now running up my fb inbox??? They always do it while I’m watching Raw or a PPV! So rude!GRANT & LAYLA WWE2K15

It’s ok, it’s STC member & RePPiN4U’s own James Henson…. he’s a wrestling fan like me, but he should know that when I’m watching Raw and entertaining y’all he should not holla!!! I don’t mind if it’s during a Ziggler match though… I’m jussayin!

OH SNAP! Like I said! Dust2Dust just beat the Usos! GET READY FOR THE NEXT CLASSIC!

HERE COMES MY NEWEST HERO!!!! Rusev with my sexy body gyal Lana! Rusev – kicked Zeb Colter in his head! And play the Russian anthem in celebration! SALUTE THIS MAN! Big up Vladimir Putin! And Zangief!!!!

OH SNAP!!! MARK HENRY NEXT TO TEST HIM???? HERE WE GO!!! THIS IS WHAT I CAME TO SEE!

I’ve waited a long time for this!!!!! Mark Henry shut down Rusev! and sent him for the Hall Of Pain! Jay-Bee is proud of him!!!! What’s wrong Lana? why do you look like that??? Is it dawning on you, that you heard the legend of the brothers’ manhood??? Don’t get me wrong – Rusev is my hero, but Mark Henry mayyyyyyn!!!!!! HE’S THE DON!!!! World’s Strongest Slam – then a World’s Strongest Splash to Rusev – BLAOW!!!! THAT’S WHAT HE DO!!!!

So there is the benefit of intellect within you WWE Universe! Falls Count Anywhere between Ambrose & Rollins! Triple says it is blood on our hands, well the GRANT SAYS – We don’t give a f**k!!!! We love Rollins! We love Ambrose! We don’t care who gets brukk up!

I wonder if Dean Ambrose could take this match near the river, take Rollins briefcase, and throw that sumovab!tch in that muthaf***a?!!! I mean, it’s not like Rollins needs it.. Brock Lesnar is the Undisputed World Wrestling Federation Champion!

There’s a reason they call Ambrose the Lunatic Fringe – look how much muthaf***!n chairs he threw in the ring! There must be about 16 of those muthaf***az! Ambrose sets up for the superplex – reversed – power bomb into the chairs – BLAOW!!!

Wait a minute – how come my hero Kane with the school trousers is finding himself out here? TRYING TO TEEF!!! Announce table set up, Ambrose sets up Rollins for the Dirty Deeds super move – but Kane – with a chokeslam to Ambrose on the table that didn’t break! It looks reinforced actually!

But Rollins and Kane were not done! Kane throws away the time keeper’s table, exposing a set of cinder blocks! holds Ambrose’s head down, Rollins with the curb stomp to the head top on the cinder blocks – BLAOW!!! OH LAWWWD they had to stop the match…. I mean I thought Kane was gonna set up Ambrose for the tombstone on the blocks! But yes that would have happened if my hero Kane had his mask on…

Damnit why does the UK have to be last to get the rarse network? I get it, because of David Cameron… He’s responsible! I wished Kane set up the cinder blocks and Seth Rollins curb stomped Cameron’s b!tch @$$ through that muthaf***a!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Jobber Blogger #120 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 14/8/14

Jobber Blogger hardyz copyOne Hundred and Twenty times, and I’ve blabbed on about crap! Oh yes, good old TNA: Wrestling, Impact Wrestling, WRESTLING WRESTLING WRESTLING!

What a weird and wonderful place you find yourselves in. So putting Dixie through a Table boosted the ratings to continue TNA’s current run of “a good month”, putting the much hyped, four month build up of putting a Woman through a Table the highest rated Impact show since February. Which means! Back in February they had a higher rated show and Dixie needn’t have gone through a Table.

ALAS!

This means nothing really. Well aside from the Network bosses who decide to pump money into your programme. And given that Spike TV isn’t looking so keen on renewing their deal with TNA, I suppose ratings mean everything.

Which is good news to know that the ratings dropped… a lot, this week. Despite this being a better show, but it’s wrestling, so who knows.

Also they didn’t spend four months building the main event. Though the WWE spent a whole year building The Rock vs. Cena and that sucked…. like, really sucked. Which is an interesting point I just made to myself, so I shall mention that later on!

So Spike might renew their current deal, who knows, but they won’t go out of business, but it’s certainly not good news.

What is worse news however is that Alberto Del Rio got the axe from the WWE for slapping some social media guy. Rightfully so, I’m sure. I’ll let you decide if I mean getting fired or slapping the guy.

… getting fired, obviously.

We all knew it would be the next step, there is the big news of a WWE talent getting fired, or quitting or being “released” then it’s the “Why?” then it’s the TNA factor.

TNA have made a career off of bad business moves of bringing in bigger named talent, dropping the belt on them, doing nothing, getting a few weeks of ratings, pissing off a lot of fans, pissing off the talent then big name star quits and it’s done.

Happens, every, single, time.

So yes, TNA apparently went right after or at least wanted to go right after getting Del Rio with the added boost of wanting to drop the Heavyweight Championship on him right away. So that’s awesome brilliant thinking. Are we seriously thinking that in 2014, after 12 freaking years, the same stupid guy has a job that does this and thinks it’s a good idea. Lets be honest, Del Rio, really isn’t all that good. Del Rio most certainly isn’t better than the talent you already have. And are you really, really, going to throw away your build up and planning and developing to just put it on the new guy whose name has some cache with a bigger company? Are we really still doing this?

For a company that has the best locker-room in the industry, they are damn lucky, most of them have still decided to stick around, because when your as stupid as to do this, all the time, you don’t deserve to be in business.

Sorry but, James Storm, Bobby Roode, Austin Aries. Sort them out first. Samoa Joe, Eric Young, Jeff Hardy, Bully Ray sort them out next. Then focus on your new talent in the following years. It’s just frustratingly pathetic, that I hope, and pray, this actually is a work, and TNA have finally decided to poke fun at the same mis-steps they always take.

Want to solve your ratings / network problem? Here’s a hint, Don’t Do The Same Thing Every Body Hates! AGAIN!

bluelineImpact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 14/8/14

bluelineWell I started productively then thought you know what, I wonder how many guys came from the WWE and won the TNA title in little to no time at all. That goes to wikipedia, that goes to youtube, then you find your not even watching anything remotely relevant to why you went looking in the first place, and I guess that’s the beauty of the internet.

Or in other words, a waste of time.

Clearly.

Hot off the heels of Dixie going through a table, and yes to keep up to date with the time scheduel, this was 7th of August that the Impact show aired with Dixie’s power-bomb, funny enough days after this current TV Show was taped.

So they must have had to ruin a lot, or just one show?

I lose track, but it’s confusing, it doesn’t really matter, but I like to know that the Audience are at least up to date with what’s happening, otherwise it’s distracting.

Bully kicked off the show talking about, of course, putting Dixie through a table, and then went on to talk highly of Devon, and so Devon showed up.

Yes, we’ve all forgotten how Bully kicked him in the head, then joined up for The Aces and Eights, then also betrayed him, now they’re a team again.

It’s wrestling, got it.

Then something rather cool happened, we knew from the week before about this match, but just having Matt and Jeff confront Bully and Devon, in 2014, in TNA. It’s a little weird.

In a lot of ways the Hardyz seem much less accomplished that Team 3D, given that Jeff by himself has had more singles success than all of them combined.

Also this guy obviously didn’t know Matt was in town

handfan

Obviously we all know the history between these two teams, but again, it’s just weird to have the Hardyz back together as it is, through them in the same ring with Team 3D and it’s like what happened. I grew up with this, now it’s 2014 and the ring has six sides and everything’s gone crazy.

I guess we didn’t really need a banter filled history lesson, but I can let that slide for nostalgia purposes, what I really didn’t need was TNA’s horrible editing.

They do it all the time with the taped shows, maybe the segments go on too long, but it’s so un-organic it ruins what magic can be found.

The chants don’t build up they just “appear” with a crowd shot, then they’re gone and it’s back to talking, or a quick reaction from Bully, then back to Matt.

It’s very jarring and very annoying. And it really taints the moment they’re trying to create. The moment is there, it’s happening, but you’re cutting it out. I suppose I can live with the horrible editing of a forced history lesson promo to set the main event, because it’s one hell of a main event.

bluelineLow Ki vs. Homicide vs. Manik vs. Crazy Steve vs. DJ Z vs. Tigre Uno – 6-man Tag Team Scramble – X-Division Number One Contender Match

Yup, that’s a match type you won’t forget in a hurry.

Because of how the show is presented, you already know which guy will win. Given that only Low Ki got a Televised entrance, you know from that alone they view Low Ki as the favourite, biggest star, and clearly the one going to win. Given the last few weeks of TV Time, it’s no surprise either.

The jury is still out on whether Low Ki is even sticking around. I don’t think he’s signed a contract.

But whatever, he’s awesome, so I can get with it. I’ve never understood the appeal of Homicide. I don’t get why he keeps coming round. I know he has a fair history with TNA, but he doesn’t come across impressive in the least to me.

He does the odd flip or crazy jump, but that’s about as far as it goes, and he does that with no grace.

Poor Crazy Steve was the first to be eliminated followed by of course Tigre Uno. Yup, that trend continues.

Least he wasn’t the first to be eliminated, that would have really annoyed me. I’d rather Steve didn’t go straight away either, but given his character it fits.

What worries me is that it seems Uno knows he’s being underused, because he took his limited time and pulled out all the stops. He’s fantastic, I don’t get why they’re not using him better than just to fill matches.

I say it every episode he is on, but seriously:

tigre uno fn

In the end of course it was down to Low Ki and Homicide, again, don’t get the appeal.

But they did put on a good bout, hard hitting, fast paced, good wrestling.

Low Ki won… didn’t see that coming.

No chance he will defeat Samoa Joe in his first X-Division Championship defense, but it could start off a nice feud.

bluelineEC3, Rhino and Spud hit the ring to talk about last week’s actions of putting Dixie through a table. EC3 called for Bully to be fired, which brought out Kurt Angle – who is on the WWE track again, sick of hearing about that.

Kurt instead got them all arrested, I guess it was kind of funny. Maybe this is supposed to be the “end” of them too, but I don’t think we’ve seen the last of it. Which basically means, Dixie is gone, but she’s not gone.

The show was built around the footage from after the Show, Dixie’s condition, an interview with Dixie next week, EC3, Spud still around. It’s not done with at all. So what was the point? People don’t want it on the show, you’ve ended it, leave it. But we all know they won’t, so it’s going to go on, and drag out a little bit more, and a little bit more, until just like Dixie and Bully themselves, nobody cares anymore, and they didn’t care to start with. Move on.

bluelineMr. Anderson vs. Gunner

This match happened.

I’m not sure what the crowd was doing during this match but they seemed to go onto (I believe WWE’s Fandango dancing and theme) onto other random crowd chants.

Which means they were whole heartedly invested in this match up.

Samuel Shaw ran down to “break up” the fight, which led to Anderson punching Shaw, which led to Shaw beating up Anderson, which led to Gunner breaking them up.

It’s really not all that exiting, plus it’s on the same trend as TNA’s current trend of not trusting people. I’m fairly confident Shaw will turn out to be using Gunner all of this time.

And Anderson is really the one who is right, but looks like the bad guy. Been there done that.

bluelineBiggest news from Impact, JR Tweeted about Dixie going through a Table, and they showed it. Doubt this means anything at all, but JR has been positive about TNA for a while, surely they would listen to him and take his advice. I think it’s the actual “in ring” segments of Wrestling he enjoys… you know, from a Wrestling show.

JRTNA

bluelineAngelina Love vs. Velvet vs. Gail Kim vs. Taryn Tarrell – Knockouts Championship

Isn’t it far too soon to be playing the only card Wrestling can think of, the competition between friends. Angelina and Velvet are “butting heads” already, again, again I might add. We’ve been down this road before too.

With the same people.

Again.

I’m still rather confident there will be a “surve ball” in here somewhere and the Beautiful People pretending to have issues will be the downfall of Gail’s current Knockouts Championship run.

Least that is wishful thinking, I suppose that would have to go to Velvet. Which is cool, she’s only held the belt once, and it wasn’t for long.

Taryn dived off the top rope to the floor taking everyone down, living up to her crazy and short legacy.

Something I really liked about the New York fans is that they do seem to respond well to the Knockouts, and I mean the Knockouts actually Wrestling. I respect that.

To be honest I respect any Wrestling fan that actually gives respect to the Wrestlers. I was a little appaulled by some fans in Manchester when I was there last year who were booing the Knockouts and yelling for them to get out the ring. The Knockouts Division in TNA is one of their strongest assets, they need to grow it more if anything.

The Beautiful People wouldn’t let either of themselves win, and Taryn cleaned the ring (and somehow managed to take herself out of the ring with a clothesline), Gail then dropped Velvet with Eat Defeat and retained her Championship.

bluelineLashley, MVP and Kenny King vs. Eric Young, Austin Aries and Bobby Roode

TNA is a bit all of the place currently, I’m not quite sure where things are going to go.

Bully and Dixie has been centre stage so long now, that the World Championship really doesn’t feel that relevant.

They are obviously building Roode, but with Team 3D and the Hardyz etc taking the Main Events, it doesn’t feel like the right place for the Championship, or even that Roode seems to be the right guy to take the belt.

Another reason we don’t need Alberto Del Rio.

One thing is for sure though, and that this match was awesome.

MVP is still limping around, but King, Lashley, EY, Roode and especially Austin Aries are all on top form. Put them together in a match that is fast paced, impactful and continously moving, it creates something special.

It really is hard to look at Roode as the favourite, even though Aries lost to Lashley, and then again lost his match, just in the ring, Aries is on another level to everyone, always is. How do you put that in second place.

MVP hit Aries with his Crutch behind the Ref’s back leaving Aries ripe for the Lashley spear, and the win.

bluelineThe Hardyz vs. Team 3D

What can I say. Team 3D walked out in their old school Camo, Matt and Jeff, well they’ve always looked fairly similiair to how they look now. Though if they both rocked the black jeans, Matt with his black shirt and white stripe on the sleeve his big arm bands and Jeff the same with his arm bands (also how cool are Jeff’s Arm Bands) I would be giddy if they did that.

Still don’t think the music is impactful enough, but it works alright.

I don’t know if it’s just my childhood nostalgia, but this was something. My favourite Wrestling Promotion, my all-time favourite Tag-Team the Hardy Boyz facing off against their best opponents, Team 3D easily the best Tag-Team in Wrestling history. Just something to behold, in 2014.

From the get go I was hooked, but to make it all that much better, this match was fantastic!

Which if you remembered at the start of The Jobber Blogger I had a rant about The Rock and John Cena. Well as a young Wrestling fan, obviously The Rock was one of my favourites too, who didn’t like him?

Though 2003 Hollywood Rock heel run – his best work, ever!

Aside from that, let’s move on.

Rock wasn’t all that great as a Wrestler, obviously he as an entertainer, untouchable.

But as a young Wrestling fan, you don’t really pay attention to the neuances of Wrestling technicality.

Which is why when Matt and Jeff go up against Team 3D, it was magic then, and it was magic now.

Though the difference would be all of them have stayed active in Wrestling, Bully and Devon completely re-shaping themselves psyhically and mentally, Matt and Jeff going through what they have, and Jeff easily being in the best position he’s ever been, with his best Work he’s ever done, right now.

So yeah, it’s not apples to apples here.

If there is anything that bugs me about this match, is two things.

One, I feel Matt and Jeff could have pulled out a few bigger patented Hardy moves, but then, they should also save them for another time.

Two, Devon kicked out far too easily from the Twist of Fate and Swanton.

But of course the 3D is just pure awesome as a Double Team move, so credit goes to Team 3D, and even though I’m a Hardy fan through and through, no matter what. Team 3D should have picked up the win, and they did.

What more can I say, if you grew up in the same Generation as me, then you will no doubt feel the same as a I do.

Fantastic match, utterly awesome from in the ring, just to the moment of itself, to nostalgia to everything.

Match of the Year nominee, no doubt about it.

Team3DHardyz

bluelineImpact was a packed show and it was a great show. A shame they took a dive in the ratings, because TNA do deliver a lot of great work, it just falls short.

Hardcore Justice is coming at us next week, and given that it’s still in New York, it’s going to be brutal.

Bram vs. Abyss – Stairway to Janice

Samoa Joe vs. Low Ki – X-Division Championship

Six-Sides of Steel – Number One Contendership Match for the World Heavyweight Championship

bluelineShould be awesome.

Something that is probably smart, but also not as awesome is TNA moving to Wednesday nights in America.

Thursdays have always been their thing, aside from when they had the guts to go head to head with RAW, and didn’t really make a dint. But kudos to trying.

TNA want the ratings, and WWE is thinking of shifting Smackdown back to Wednesday.

I think it really sucks that TNA at least won’t try and go head to head with WWE’s second rated programme. I understand it.

It just feels a shame, and it almost feels like a step toward the end of their Spike TV contract.

I hope the Spike bosses love the shows and Wednesday prove successful, either way, TNA needs to find a new home, because even though they make dumb errors almost constantly they still put on a great show.

And when they get it right, They Get it 100% right.

TNA fan till the end!

Till then,

Dan Wilkinson

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