30 Years ago on this day, Vincent Kennedy McMahon came up with a concept that celebrates Wrestling & Sports Entertainment… he called it WRESTLEMANIA.
In those 30 years, other wrestling promotions tried to test him. One came very close, but then Vince dropped the stunner on they @$$ and brought their competition.
30 Years Later, we are in an era of crying B!TCHES, who still think this wrestling sh!t is for THEM, and forget that they were once kids. But in some cases the fans were RIGHT. Batista winning the rumble? INCORRECT. They had to change that sh!t up quickly.
Not the Infamous Informer. For 30 years, I have NEVER took this wrestling sh!t seriously! I watch it for the glorified comedy show that it is, and if you have taken this wrestling sh!t for more than just entertainment…. YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM!
Enough of that sh!t! I got my Galaxy Cookie Crumble! I got my chocolate pudding! THE FINAL RAW BEFORE THE BIG BIG WRESTLEMANIA! THIS IS THE SH!T! RAW #1088! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!! DROP THE MUTHAF***K!N BOMB ON EM!
15,288 fans in attendance! Saluting the arrival of the TRUE MASTER! THE DON OF DONS! THE UNDERTAKER!!!
21 men have stepped up, and 21 men have got F**KED UP!!! What you gonna do Brock? Sink or Swim???
Brock Lesnar’s like: ‘Ha! You wanna play mind games with me??? I’m gonna play mind games with you muthaf***a! Make it look like I’m afraid of your @$$, then when my boy Heyman slips in the chair, I’m gonna clothesline your dead carcass! set you up, F5 – BLAOW!!!!! I f**ked you up with it before, I f**k you up again!!!’
Big ups to Bertie for getting the win over my dude Big E, that’s it – give Bertie that hope that he could win the Battle Royal at WrestleMania… Ya Playin’ Ya’self Bertie! But, you can win, as long as you keep your head to the sky! That may not be a good idea if your head is looking at the lights at WrestleMania!
Ok when you have the crowd singing ‘The Whole World In His Hands’ with Bray Wyatt, that must f**k up John Cena for sure! Winning or losing don’t mean sh!t! Bray just wants to F**K UP CENA!!! If I was Cena, I’d beat Bray with his five moves, then RUN FOR THE HILLS! DON’T LOOK BACK!
Remember when Summer Rae took her fass self to Natalya’s house on some Kill Bill death list sh!t, now we gonna see a wrestling contest between the two!
What’s up with JAY-BEE? does he want a piece of Vickie Guerrero or something? Just don’t get doing the nasty on the tour bus!! Hold on – Summer Rae defeated Natalya? BACKSIDE!!!!! You mean to tell me Natalya let the girl come to her house, give her one slap across her face and then she lost???? Well I did warn the divas, Summer Rae is a good wrestler! Don’t underestimate the blondie!
Oh no! Here he comes! TRIPLE TEEEF! STEPHANIE McTEEF!!! VOCARE AD REGNUM!!!
I am so engrossed in this segment I can’t even talk sh!t right now!
Once again Triple put us all on blast about the flava of the month, and he has put them all down! And that promo video he put out…. with Steph McTeef narrating, OH LAWWD! Showing how he USED DA HAMMER and ‘buried’ all those guys… Yes I noticed that my boys Batista and Undertaker were not up in there…. because they are OFFICIAL BAD MAN!
Good to see Batista not being booed for once, maybe because Raw is in his hometown of Washington DC…makes a change but on a real, Batista has not learnt anything from wearing those hellish jeans!
Randall still wants Triple to back out of the Triple Threat.. The Grant says STOP BEING A PU$$Y AND BECOME THE VIPER and KICK PEOPLE IN THEIR HEAD!
It is straight DISRESPECT that The Usos are defending their tag team titles in the pre-show match… Uncle Rikishi must be offended. the Hardy Boyz, Dudley Boyz and Edge & Christian must be outraged, they set the bar, and this is the muthaf***!n thanks they get? HELLO!
OH SNAP!!!! Big ups to Mike Cole for putting JAY-BEE on blast! Jay-Bee said people was on that Fandango sh!t at WrestleMania last WEEK??? Mike Cole’s like – “WrestleMania last YEAR!” John Bradshaw Layfield: GET IN THE CHAIR!!!
Hang on – in that 8-man tag team contest, did Los Matadores just did the old switch-a-roo Bella Twins super move???? I think they did! I bet The Bella Twins looked at that and thought ‘B!TCH PLEASE!!!’
Jerry Lawler says – “They are still doing the Fandango!!!” Er yeah because Triple reminded them what they were doing last year! FIX UP MAN!
BLODCLART!!! THAT’S F**KED UP!!! The Wyatt Family, celebrating after they disposed of R-Truth and Xavier Woods, when it went all dark and sh!t, along came a fourth family member? Boiler suit and sheep mask and all, turns out to be John Cena! That is the first time I have seen the Wyatt Family freak out! They were scared of their own sh!t!!!! Bravo Cena! Well done! That was DON!
Dayum Naomi!!!! No wonder Jimmy Uso wanted to f**k you backstage! Look at your attire!!!! OHHHHHHHH! I WANNA F**K YOU RIGHT NOW!
It seems that Naomi’s eye has fully healed! Get her (AJ LEE) Naomi!! mash her up! And throw her into the LumberJills!
Naomi emerges victorious! But every diva in the ring at WrestleMania? With the title on the line? Suddenly I have figured out who’s gonna win this sh!t!
Great promo by Cena but it’s Renée Young interviewing you…. if only it was The Rock…. imagine that, The Wyatts threatening to destroy The Rock’s legacy and The Rock is more concerned about getting Renée to taste his strudel!!! Oh well…
Does the WWE App still work? obviously it does! According to the app, the people voted for roman Reigns to take on my hero Kane…. this is not fair to me! f**k that – I’m gonna send for my chocolate pudding…
What? Did Troy come through my house or something? I KNOW I brought chocolate pudding from the store… it changed to treacle!!!! Damn I was looking forward to eating ‘Naomi’… I’ll have to settle for ‘Tamina’… not that I’m complaining! I’m tucking in!!!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
So let me get this right so I can understand this: JAY-BEE is dubbing this match the ‘Attitude Era Vs the Reality Era’ In Kane/Outlaws Vs The Shield???? So w’happen, is that a shot at the IWC too??? sounds like it to me!
You know it’s WrestleMania season when Rowdy Roddy Piper is in the house! So who’s the guest rude boy!
Well the Miz, Sheamus, Titus O Neill and Dolph Ziggler were quick to run their mouth weren’t they! here comes the rest of the crew, it’s RUCKUS in Pipers Pit! Here comes the 7ft2, 425lb of OFFICIAL BAD MAN!!! HAAA you thought I was gonna say monkey crap… didn’t you! Nah my name’s not Dwayne!
Punch Heath Slater through school-buses – P!!! Double chokeslam to Zack Ryder and Dolph Ziggler – BLAOW!!!!! I told y’all muthaf***az! Zack Ryder and Dolph Ziggler is WACK! so wack that Dolph Ziggler even said he is the greatest SPORTS ENTERTAINER, but YOU FOOLS regard him as a WRESTLER! HA! HA! You deluded fools!
GRANT BODY -P!!!
Well here’s your chance you wrestling fools! BOO THE HELL OUT OF THIS MAIN EVENT!!! Randall TEEF Orton! My Wu-Tang Friend Batista!!! No Disqualification match! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!
Hold up – what’s that Triple TEEF and Steph McTEEF doing out here??? Maybe they wanna close look! Maybe they wanna change the stipulation! Poor Jerry Lawler he wanted Steph to sit next to him! Yeah I know, I would love to feel on her leg too…
This match is actually great! Where are your boos now muthaf***az? Hang on – is that ‘This Is Awesome!’ I hear? Now it shows how fickle you b!tches are!!!
BACKSIDE!! DANNY BRYAN IS HERE!! RUSHING TRIPLE TEEF!!! Taking on everybody! Get outta there Stephanie! Danny beating down Triple with the kendo stick! That’s it Danny! LICK HIM! CLAP HIM! BEAT HIM!!!
BLODCLART!!!! SMACK TALK CENTRE: BDSIR NETWORK: WE GONNA LET EM KNOW… APRIL 6, JOHNNY SPICES, HOGSHEAD: WE’RE HERE BIATCH!!!
Daylight beams, night life schemes
This is my inception, I’m writing my dreams
Immortal view of a star doing what I’m born to do
I see the Blue Sky, see the Lord’s coming through
Ohh, in the sky we’ll find the light
Ohh, ain’t too high, we’ll shine at night
Now we in the skies, blue skies
And we going higher, that’s right…
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.
It seemed like such a Distant dream every once in a while when I just said I wanted Angelina Love back in TNA Wrestling. And yet as I skimmed over Wrestling news I glanced an article that to my eyes looked as if it said Angelina was back in TNA. I however refused to look further as I didn’t want to spoil anything, and by god, she’s back!
Yes, I am pleased and happy that Angelina has come back to TNA, her rightful home. Though part of me feels this is a passing trend, everyone loves TNA at some point, then they want to leave.. then they come back and love it again… then they want to leave. I suppose it has a lot to do with TNA struggling to keep things fresh and just don’t have the room for more stars on their Television Broadcast. Which sucks, I know they would find it difficult to run another show, but with Hogan and Sting now gone TNA has been packed full with new stars, Lei’D Tapa, EC3, Alpha Female, The Wolves, Tigre Uno, Brittany, the returns of Bobby Lashley and Angelina Love, addition of Sanada (don’t know how long he’s sticking around). All I can say is, I Can Not Wait till Kurt Angle packs up and leaves and let’s get some more!
It’s Wrestling time folks! And it was a blast!
TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 13/3/14
Should I maybe have started with apologising that this entry is rather late. I always have the best intentions but this past week has been packed full of “things to do” and unfortunately all of those things which took longer than expected had a Deadline to meet, and though I set myself Deadlines with Writing The Jobber Blogger, the former took precedence. However, don’t even dare contemplate the thought of me “not” Writing up a show. It’s been too long now to even consider not doing it. So sure, I’m writing it and posting it on the same day the next show Airs in the States, but that’s life! Get over yourselves!
Or on yourselves. Whichever you prefer… also Angelina.
MVP kicks off Impact this week hot off of his Victory from Lockdown. Though the “Impact Zone” is rather small, least the TNA fans packed it out and actually made for a rather good crowd. No bad thing considering they are going to be the same crowd for the next Month’s worth of Television.
MVP declares “Dixie Land” officially closed, and even addressed Bully Ray whom will be treated “fairly” regardless of his past actions.
I do find it funny that Bully went from being the Top Heel to Dangerous Heel, to good guy with one action. It’s quite a jump from threatening to Pile-Drive Anderson’s pregnant Wife one week, to being put in a Coffin another week, to now being a Good-Guy. Still, it’s Wrestling and we love it for its many eccentricities.
MVP has a 3-Act structure (like most things) in to deal with Talent, Motivate – Validate – Participate. Sounds like the check list you would cover before partaking in an “Adult Movie”.
Magnus and the new look – Abyss make an appearance. I’m not sold on the new look of Abyss, I am glad he has kept a mask however, but it doesn’t look so good. I get what they were going for though. From behind he looks very intimidating. But from the front… not so much.
Though it could be worse…
All in all, this led to MVP bringing out Samoa Joe and setting a World Heavyweight Championship Re-Match for next week, but as of now, it’s Wrestling time…. folks….. and it was a blast?….
Samoa Joe vs. Abyss
So yeah, I don’t know what is happening with Abyss. I hope this is just a “phase” in his many phases. I like that his Character is so easily manipulated yet so unpredictable that you wouldn’t dare risk it. He’s been mute, he’s been to an Asylum, he’s spoken, he’s been “American Made” Red and Yellow, he’s been Joseph Park and now he’s a link between two aspects of psyche. This is a confused Abyss trapped between his once dangerous “hardcore” ways and his rational timid mind of Joseph Park. Only of course enthused with Magnus’ upgraded ideals.
Joe and Abyss battle it out like Two Big-Guys would, Joe’s fast capture Powerslam was impressive with the speed he connected given the size of Abyss. Not that he hasn’t done it before of course.
The biggest take-away from the match was Abyss bringing Janice back into the mix, given Joe is still “suffering” from the shot from Lockdown. Eric Young however makes the save and we haven’t seen the last between EY and Abyss.
Joe confronted EY later on in the night and told him to get out of his business, but for Joe’s Title Match – Rematch next week, Eric Young is going to be Chained to Abyss for the match… seems like a stupid idea. But.. Wrestling….?
Gail Kim (w/Lei’D Tapa) vs. Brittany
It’s new Knockout time, I believe Brittany is the indie Wrestler under the name of Santana, which seems a little more “unusual”. Brittany sounds like…. well Brittany, a dumb young American girl. Whereas Santana has a ring to it. Though that’s sticks and stones and niggles and gripes.
It’s great to see yet more new Knockouts, especially ones that can Wrestle. That isn’t to say Lei’D Tapa and The Alpha Female can’t, but at the same time, TNA hasn’t let them off the leash… so how would we know? Brittany on the other hand and quite clearly move between the ropes.
Gail dominated the match though, and in a ruthless form, which is actually impressive, and pretty awesome.
Then of course, that thing we all knew was coming happened. It was only a matter of time, I just had hoped they would have handled it better. Tapa got involved in the match and accidently squashed Gail in the Corner. Funny how outside interference like getting in the ring and physically attacking someone, doesn’t count as a DQ.
Regardless, Brittany played off the mistake and took the Win. Which of course leads to Gail getting in Tapa’s face and then those two fighting.
It’s a shame TNA can’t seem to think of a more creative way to break people up. It’s either angriness of betrayal involving the World Championship.
Couldn’t Tapa have just one day turned on Gail for no reason, at all, what so ever. Tapa is a Monster of a Woman, you wouldn’t want to mess with her. Her momentum was cut short ever so quickly the second they paired her up with Gail. You could at least play on it as if Tapa was just with Gail to get herself known and then ditched her at the first possible second. Even tie it into why she “needed” Gail’s help to win matches. Of course she didn’t but she wanted Gail to feel superior. Then BAM! Tapa breaks free, goes unstoppable. It makes sense… why not do that? Why does everything involve freakin’ “Reasons”. Winds me up!
Bobby Roode and the rest of Team Dixie were furious from the actions of Bully Ray, and though everyone pointed Blame at Roode, he pointed it constructively toward Bully. Thus when Bully arrived they jumped him and beat him up. Makes sense.
The Bromans (w/ DJ Z) vs. Sanada and Tigre Uno
I actually hope Sanada does stick around in TNA, he’s pretty damn awesome. They were certainly playing it as if he is sticking around. Though I do remember reading he was only involved currently. Sanada and Uno made a great team, diverse yet similar in style. Though a mixture of Japanese and Mexican Wrestling, it’s a style you miss from watching TNA. And it seems they are bringing back that flavour of Wrestling, and if this match is anything to go by, then hell yes!
I shall reiterate, I can’t wait for Kurt to leave!
That isn’t me saying I dislike Kurt, I like Kurt, but he wants to leave, and it’s painfully obvious. He’s saying it all the time off the Camera, but even on the Camera he just looks fed up. Everything he says, even when he’s praising TNA, it just sounds so second hand, he means it.. but he’s not that bothered. It’s almost as if he’s saying “Thank you for keeping TNA around, you keep doing it, it’s great… also I’m leaving, so you do it more so?… Good!” I’m sure his contract will free up a good bit of money, more new stars like this, and I’m sold. Hell, put that money in an envelope with the name AJ Styles on it, and get him back!
The match was fast paced, and fantastic, Sanada and Uno pick up the win with Tenay doing all he can to push the idea that these two challenge for the Tag-Team Championships. Kind of greedy given that Sanada is already the X-Division Champion, let alone The Wolves? Though Destination X isn’t far away, and someone will need to grab that belt for “Option C”. Here’s my prediction, so mark you’re calendars. Samoa Joe gets screwed again next week, and Magnus talks Joe out of the Title Picture, Joe instead grabs himself the X-Division Championship and cashes it in for one more shot.
Also The Bromans had a whining session after the match when Bully crashes in and beats them all down.
Rockstar Spud and EC3 hold a tribute to Dixie, mourning her loss of controlling the Wrestling Operations. Spud is TV gold, put him with a giant picture of Dixie he clings to and strokes, it’s win win!
Spud proceeds with a “Reading” to honour her when MVP announces that Spud is no longer the Chief of Staff, but is not on the active Roster. Starting with him taking on Willow in the Main Event. With EC3 taking on Bobby Lashley next week, as Lashley has now officially resigned with TNA.
EC3 had a few words about Bobby Lashley backstage, and then Bully Ray beat him up. I love backstage segments, plus the idea of Bully on a rampage is awesome!
Samuel Shaw vs. Mr. Anderson – Street Fight
Shaw brought his Mannequin of Christy to the ring with him… which is sort of weird, though I also really like that idea. I actually hope he takes it with him everywhere from now on. It doesn’t have to be Christy, it can evolve, like Christy was his closest fascination that gave Birth to the idea of who this Mannequin becomes in his mind, and she goes places with him. That’s a good gimmick!
The Creepy Bastard chant stuck around for Impact, so hopefully it continues, I think they will do all they can to keep it around. Creepy Bastard is a pretty good Moniker, let alone marketing tool.
Given the twist ending from their Lockdown Cage Match, this time they had Anderson take the victory he would have had before. Anderson made his advances on Shaw’s Mannequin, kissing it, then throwing it at Shaw and dropping him with the Mic Check from the distraction for the Win.
Angelina Love is Back!
Of course she gets her own Heading!
It’s weird, I don’t get why I like her so much. And no, it’s not a Crush thing. I don’t look at her and find her attractive, I mean she is, but not to me personally. I just like her. I like her attitude, and character, and music, and The Beautiful People is a great faction. Mainly as Heels. She’s a different type of Knockout, sure she’s the more “risky” style of Women’s Wrestler, given her chosen attire, general look and certain affections with the middle rope.
But she does it in a way that’s a Strong Symbol for Women, not that she’s been used, or seen in a trashy way. She has an attitude to back her up, and she’ll kick your ass. I think that’s appealing.
Angelina of course called Velvet to the ring, both rocking the old school “Angle on my Shoulder” Beautiful People theme. It’s an awesome theme, and quite easily puts anyone associated with it in a different league. It’s what makes The Beautiful People stand out. I so hope Madison dyes her hair blonde and gets back in the group.
Though to be fair, I don’t think Velvet will reunite with Angelina, least not yet. In fact I fully suspect she might, then Angelina will turn on her, with “jealousy” reasons.
Still, getting Angelina back in any form is better than a TNA without her! Angelina proposes The Beautiful People get back together, which Velvet says she needs to think about, given her success as a Singles Wrestler… Okay.
Rockstar Spud vs. Willow
Is it bad that I LOVED Willow’s entrance. Everything I didn’t quite get on board with about Willows debut at Lockdown was corrected with Impact. I do however think they shouldn’t have said “This is Jeff Hardy”. They could have given him an attire which didn’t show off his Tattoo’s, or have his Arm-Bands. His theme music is cool, but obviously take out Jeff’s voice and it would have worked just as well. I don’t mind Jeff having an alter-ego, most people who know Jeff Hardy’s work outside of Televised Wrestling know of Jeff’s Willow the Wisp Character anyway. But nothing really happened to have Jeff switch to this side of his personality.
Still, it probably sells Jeff to those who don’t know who Willow is “under the mask”. But then that could have been better to find out in a shocking way. The good news is that Willow is much more aggressive, so Jeff is exciting to watch regardless. Let alone Jeff has had his best matches in the last couple of years of his entire Career, so to have him explore territory he has never done on this scale before is exciting to witness.
Willow’s look is fantastic, Jeff has such a creative mind that as I said before, when he wants to wind down from competing, someone needs to get him into the Creative side of Wrestling. His ideas for Wrestlers, Gimmicks, stipulations, attire, themes, promo’s, camera work, will be amazing and truly different to anything you would have witnessed before.
The long black coat, the spinning Black and White umbrella and the menacing mask with the pale eyes is a brilliant look. So is the patented screaming cackle.
There is a tinted filter over the entrance, a blur on the edging, and it just sings when you watch it. I am on board to see where this goes. And even if Jeff goes back to being Jeff in the near future, having Willow established as his Dark Side makes Jeff unpredictable, like the fabled and brilliant character changes like the transformation of Mankind into Cactus Jack.
Now on to Spud, who does a brilliant Job of selling Willow, let alone Spud just generally being awesome at all he does. Kudos go out to TNA for spotting his talent outside of his original gimmick portrayal.
The back story to this encounter goes to when Spud pushed Jeff off of the Ladder in his World Title “Dixie Land” match. And to get his own back, Willow hangs Spud upside down in the Corner and hits him very hard with his Umbrella. Which I bet hurt. This of course led to a DQ, so Willow took out the Ref, set up a Ladder, put Spud’s leg in a Chair which he violently crushed. Then did a Body Splash from the top of Ladder onto Spud.
Bully Ray closes out the show by talking about his actions from Lockdown. Which I think are fair enough. The whole “going into the Coffin made my entire Career flash before my eyes” was a bit stupid. I get the metaphor, but the Coffin really wasn’t all that special to signify the despair he talks of. Given that it broke before he went in it.
Bully declared that if Bobby Roode got a taste of Power, he would just end up being another Dixie Carter, and he therefore saved him from himself. And did the right thing by TNA.
Roode and Bully closed out the show with a heated Fight, which saw Bully PowerBomb Roode through a Table.
A great Show post Lockdown that not only brings in New Talent to get excited about, but it brought back some old Talent, a spin on some current Talent and set in place some awesome new Storylines and Rivalries.
If you’ve been wanting to get into TNA, or back on board with TNA, this is the show to do it!
And I can’t wait for this week’s!
Which is tonight, tomorrow, the weekend!
What goes around comes around as they say, mainly in Australia as I imagine the open grounds are a rather nifty place to throw your Boomerang.
It took me a few days to get caught up with The Jobber Blogger last week, and then I am back and on schedule to get it done today… hopefully… Sunday.
Still, the thing is, I praised TNA from Lockdown through to Last Week’s show, and this week’s show is just as good. What isn’t good is the rumoured bad morale backstage, let alone apparent hope for Jeff Jarrett’s promotion to take off so talent can probably jump ship. I don’t know what TNA is doing behind the scenes. It is worrying, that doesn’t mean that I think they’re in danger of running themselves out of business via money. But decisions being made behind peoples backs, Vince Russo working for them without them admitting it? It all sounds rather dodgy. The big issue lay with the contracts, cutting down Talents contracts. That sucks. I don’t get why either, I understand making cut backs and saving money, but that’s an insulting way to do it. Come better or worse you need to look at TNA as a whole, and clearly there are some major problems. They have been in business for 12 years this year, they have a Television deal worldwide, in some territories they are the top Wrestling Promotion, they have had Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Sting, associated to their company. They have had countless top name Stars, huge home grown stars, massive shows. And look at them. Still in an studio taping their shows Months in advance in the space of two days, can’t afford to tour, only a couple of hundred fans in attendance (probably free tickets). That’s terrible.
Whatever there is, it’s certainly halting TNA’s growth. And switching the characters in control on Television is not going to change that. Personally I can’t find a fault with their product, what they put out is a fantastic Wrestling show and I can’t get enough of it. But I guess I fall into the minority.
AJ Styles put it best, when the Founder of TNA, the guy who put his savings, effort and life into this promotion decides that it’s time to leave… then that’s a huge problem. Something is amiss backstage, and I hope they can sort it out. If talent are as unhappy as the rumours claim, when Jeff Jarrett’s promotion is up and running, then ROH throw out their connections, why would the TNA guys stick around? That’s when they start to crumble. Perhaps behind the scenes they know that already, so they bring in new talent, cheaper talent, and use their time now to put them over, so when the TNA originals call it a day, TNA at least has developed stars still.
But I don’t know the Wrestling Industry from a business standpoint, least trying to run a global promotion, so I shall just stick to writing about what I watched in my imperfect, meaningless, derogative manor, riddled with spelling errors and grammatical flaws!
The Jobber Blogger does it best! Like a boss, on a boat, in the sea! That sunk!
TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 20/3/14
In what was an exciting way to start the show, Eric Young and Abyss brawled it out backstage which eventually took to the ring. It was hard hitting and violent, with Abyss choking EY with the Chain over the ropes till he was Red in the face, literally. This of course takes EY out of the picture for the main event. No idea how the brawl got started, but it certainly makes for a more interesting way to start the show other than Promos.
Something I forgot to mention from last week, is that Magnus managed to secure Abyss with Money. Now that doesn’t seem right? I get that Money makes the world go round, but I don’t believe Money to be the deciding factor in Abyss being his “Muscle”. I would hazard a guess that it’s not the reason at all, eventually. When Abyss inevitably turns on Magnus… or Abyss ends up costing Magnus and Magnus turns on him… I don’t know.
Ethan Carter the Third vs. Bobby Lashley
Straight from a brawl into Wrestling, which is even better! I hope this actually sticks around. I’ve had enough to promos to kick of “Total Nonstop Action” that has no action from the start. I’m more sick of that then I am of Al Snow and his gang of Muppets stopping every fight.
I remember Lashley when he showed up in the WWE, being billed “as the next big thing” after Lesnar had worn himself out of Professional Wrestling. I also remember that Lashley didn’t really take off that well and then found himself out of a job. I don’t quite know the full story, but part of me remembers it being linked to Crystal / Krystal who he was dating from the Diva Search thing, and her being let go. Something about Lashley taking a stand over it and losing his job also. Probably one of those hopes I have that Lashley thought himself big enough to sway Vince, and inevitably found out… he wasn’t.
With that said, Lashley is intense, and I’m glad he’s around actually. I do remember his exit from TNA being somewhat controversial at the time, also with Krystal (hope she doesn’t come back). Whoever thought bringing in Booker-T’s wife was a good idea should be fired… probably Booker-T and his wife.
EC3 managed to get in a Low-Blow and made a run for it from Lashley only to be confronted by Willow, who took to a violent assault on EC3, repeatedly throwing him into the Ring-Steps and following it up with trapping his leg in a chair and stomping on it. Then also climbing a Ladder but EC3 managed to escape.
Shortly after EC3 confronted Magnus as to why he didn’t help him. But of course, with Dixie no longer around, Magnus has no loyalty to EC3. So that’s nice.
Gunner made his way to the ring in what turned out to be a Good Segment, but also sucked to start with. I don’t need a guy like Gunner telling me how much he appreciates everyone, thanks everyone, telling me about his time in the marines… again, and then awkwardly talking to and hugging his “Dad”.
Least Storm got involved, which isn’t that much of a surprise. Storm remarked on the story that Gunner’s grandfather died when his Father was young, as to not see him achieve anything, and Storm claimed that if he could see you both now, he’s probably glad he’s Dead.
Which is nice and risky for Wrestling…. also I laughed a bit.
So yes, Gunner and Storm and done by a long shot and a brawl took place, though Storm snuck in a cheeky Superkick, handcuffed Gunner to the Ring and dragged his Dad around shouting trash at them both. And then of course Storm smashed a Beer Bottle over his Dad’s head. Which was pretty freakin’ awesome. Normally the Beer Bottle looks stupid as it shatters too much, but it looked and sounded great and his “Dad” sold it rather well too. Which makes me question if they are actually related.
Mike and Taz were shouting about how disgusting Storm’s actions were, but I loved the fact that the Beer Bottle Smash was repeated multiple times during them saying that, with it progressively going slower and slower in motion to the point where it just became increasingly comical.
And now they are set to have a match next week “Unlocked” which I guess means (without Cage). So I have no idea. Probably the same stipulation as a No Holds Barred, Street Death Match….the same thing really.
Lei’D Tapa vs. Gail Kim
I didn’t write down a stipulation as Gail only moaned backstage and stated that if she beats Tapa, then Tapa is gone from TNA. It sounded more like a threat, rather than a fact.
The announcers didn’t even talk about it till after the match.
And this is exactly why it sucks so much!
Finally we get to see Lei’D Tapa in action on her own, without Gail Kim, and she’s against Gail Kim, the best Female Wrestler going, and the match was fantastic!
Tapa was so impressive, to the point that it really pisses me off that we never got to see this side of her, she was stuck to being Gail’s “tall bodyguard” and nothing more.
They both went at it, it was intense and I was thinking, if these two at a good solid feud, their matches could increase to those you look at in the same category of being “Meaningful” and remembering them.
And of course, Gail then dropped Tapa with Eat Defeat, which I thought she would kick out of, but no. She lost, and now she’s gone from TNA.
Like legit, she confirmed it after Impact via Twitter, but it seemed Tapa had something else lined up and has now gone from Impact Wrestling.
What a freakin’ waste. She’s the best thing to happen to the Division in a long, long time, and then they don’t let her do anything relevant, and then she leaves. Awesome TNA, that was great.
Still, she will always live on in my blogs!
Angelina Love calls out Velvet Sky for an answer on getting The Beautiful People back together.
I guess part of me doesn’t understand why them being back together makes any sense. Are they just going to be friends again? There aren’t Tag-Team belts to win anymore (thank god). So I don’t know. Still, Velvet had a string of reasons not to, with Angelina being possessive and always looked as herself better than Velvet and always held her back. And with that string of negativity, she decided it was a good idea to get the band back together!
Angelina then went on to call out Madison, and offer her the chance to rejoin. But of course Madison wanted no part of it, as she was easily the “lackey” of the group, and now she’s the Knockouts Champion with quite an established career.
Backstage Velvet told Angelina to just talk to Madison and work it out, and then Angelina beat up Madison instead, which I guess was option B?
This goes back into the realm of Wrestling / Reality, surely Velvet will know that Angelina beat up Madison right? She only need watch the show to find out. Who knows, crazy Wrestling gibberish!
Bromans (w/DJ Z) vs. Tigre Uno and Sanada vs. The Wolves – TNA: World Tag-Team Championships
I think I called it best when I said TNA needed to re-define the Tag-Team Division. I Love, Tag-Team Wrestling. And this right here, was a perfect example of it!
It was fast paced, intense, hard hitting, high impact, totally awesome!
The Wolves are easily the best Tag-Team on the circuit right now, they are on point perfection. Which doesn’t take anything away from the Bromans, or Uno and Sanada who are also great.
In fact whilst on the topic, Tigre Uno is very impressive! I for one look forward to seeing him lock horns with multiple different guys in TNA, especially one Austin Aries.
DJ Zema started taking “Selfies” pictures of himself with the X-Division Championship, which is where Sanada changed course and took out DJ Z.
This left Uno the victim of a Bro-Down from the Bromans for the win and to retain their Tag-Team Championships.
Something I didn’t expect to see on this week’s Impact, or any Impact for that matter was a video package of Kunx tracking down his long lost love.
I fully expected big Knuxy to be fired and well on his way to somewhere after the Aces and Eights closed their doors. But I am glad he’s sticking around, least for the time being. The last few months of The Aces and Eights that had Knux step up showed that he was actually rather impressive, good mic skills certainly. I don’t know where this is going, but it seems TNA have gone for a Dark Theme with their newer additions, Samuel Shaw, Bully Ray, Willow and now Knux. All about being creepy, weird and horror movie styled love interest adventures. I just had an image of Bully in a Wig….
Speaking of Bully in a wig, he was “invited” to Nashville to see Dixie Carter (who hasn’t been seen since Lockdown anywhere!) she’s gone all AJ Styles.
Instead Bully decided not to wait for Dixie and barged into her office and started a big ol rant confession on why he screwed her out of controlling the Wrestling Operations, but spent his time talking to a chair. Which no offence, was rather obvious no one was in the chair.
Bobby Roode then crashed in and beat up Bully Ray, shouting at him and dribbling in his ear.
Samoa Joe vs. Magnus – MVP / Abyss Chained Together – World Heavyweight Championship
With EY being taken out by Abyss at the start of the show MVP was trying to find a replacement. The only person he asked was Willow, trying to get him on board to seek revenge for Magnus’ involvement in Hardy losing the World Title.
Which for everything cool about Willow’s look and entrance, this quickly proved that he sucks as a Character in front of Television cameras. Jeff really isn’t that good with Promo’s, he can Write them well, he just can’t deliver them well. So it just looked awkward, be better if they could put a Reverb, Blur filter on him every time you saw him. So it would sound cool and look cool. Otherwise it just looks sort of…. dumb.
Also please ditch the Jeff Hardy t-shirt.
In the end MVP decided he should “Participate” as a part of his three act involvement with Talent.
Joe and Magnus had an alright bout, Joe playing on the injury from having Abyss attack him with “Janice” from Lockdown. In the end though Joe locked on his Choke, which Magnus counted with a Jaw Breaker causing Joe to fall back into the Ref, taking him down…. obviously.
MVP did his best to restrain Abyss, who got his hands on a bad of thumb tacks. MVP took him down then unlocked himself from Abyss to move the Bag of Tacks as far away as possible. Which of course left Abyss enough time to get a chair and beat down MVP, then throw the Chair at Joe who was attempting his Suicide Dive through the ropes. This knocked Joe down, Magnus covered and Won.
Least MVP did the right thing? I expect Joe will be angry at him, but then it was Joe who decided to focus on Abyss not Magnus and that led to his downfall, not MVP.
Logic be damned!!!
A good show though, still a few little surprises, and currently TNA have had a string of good shows, even if they don’t show in the Ratings.
Here’s hoping they can turn things around in 2014, and actually grow. But then, we’ve been hoping that every year….. for years!
Smack Talk Centre-Raw
Straight up and down, let’s give it up and say Happy Born Day to my dude, The DON of DONS, 21-0 and soon to be 22-0 at big BIG WRESTLEMANIA: The True Master: THE UNNNNDERRRRTAKERRRRRR!!!
That’s my dawg! THAT’S MY DAWG!
Ok enough of that sh!t!!! I got my Chocolate Digestive biscuits, and my cup of tea when the diva dem come on! RAW #1087!! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!
What a beautiful smile on Stephanie’s face!!! Yet she so evil! That’s my moms hero! RECORD SKIP – No Danny Bryan this week???? GETTHE F**KOUTTAHERE! Maybe he’s gonna come with the beer truck like in 1999!
GWARN Stephanie!!! Tell them!!! The fans need to be led with someone with intellect! Those CM Punk chants won’t help you!!!
That’s better! Chant Danny’s name!!! Where’s Vincent Kennedy when you need him? He would say “SHUDDUP WHEN I’M TALKING!!!”
Is it me or his Batista’s mic a bit mash-up??? YES IT WAS! Oh dear! Even the Mic knows Batista has no mic skills!
Then again I take it back! Batista says Stephanie has been drooled on a LOT!!! Yeah I was drooling too! What did 5 fingers say to the face Batista? SLAP!!!! Randall is deddin! Not for long – spear to Randall – BLAOW!!!
Wait a minute – Scooby Doo and the Mystery Machine is in the house? Does that include Daphne? Last time I check – Daphne got the hots for John Cena! Nikki Bella ain’t gonna like that! Daphne was there throwing her pu$$y at Cena like that…. THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT!
Fatal four-way jump off!!! Winner fights Big E for the Intercontinental Championship…er wait, at WrestleMania??? Well in that case, I don’t want my dude Sheamus to win then… I do want him to kick Ziggler in his teeth just like Tamina did to Nikki Bella!!!
OH SNAP!!! Did you wrestling trainspotters see this????
Batista you’re my dude but that’s what you get for wearing skinny jeans you dyam arse!
Damn this fatal 4 way contest is crazy! Even I gotta say that even with that fool Ziggler in effect! This changes NOTHING!!! I still hate that muthaf***a!
YES CHRISTIAN! PIN THAT BATTYBWOY ZIGGLER! Christian Vs Big E at Main Event! F**K YOU ZIGGLER FANS!!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
NO!!!! Bray Wyatt singing the Whole World In His Hands!!! Brilliant!!! Cena you are in trouble now! You have a right to be scared of this muthaf***a! RUN!!!
Oh my days Scooby Doo is here for real! With Sin Cara!!! Shout out to Anthony Cardenas – they could have let JTG wrestle here, like how it’s in his hometown of Brooklyn??? And the fans are chanting for Philip!!! Yo fans I have a question – WHY???
UNBELIEVABLE! If you didn’t see Smackdown, What if I told you, that the Shield got DESTROYED by The New Age Outlaws and My hero Kane??? You wouldn’t believe me, would you? That has to be a match at big BIG WrestleMania surely!
UH-OH!!! During a contest between Los Matadores and Rybaxel… look who turns up… THE SHIELD!!! RYBAXEL YUH GOOSE COOK NOW!
How many times this make for Ryback to be f**ked up by the Shield??? Triple powerbomb into the canvas – BLAOW!!!!!
Instead of having a weekly interview on WWE.Com, we get to see a live interview with Michael Cole and TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!! TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!!
BIG UP TRIPLE TEEF!!! Taking shots at the Internet Wrestling Community in this interview! He sees apathy… I see it too! Back in the day, Triple would use the hammer but guys like Cactus Jack, The Rock, Undertaker and Stone Cold would fight back this evil! These days, people would cry like a B!TCH!!!! People are crying like B!TCHES over WrestleMania, even after they got what they want – Danny possibly in the main event… I co-sign with Mike Knoxxx of the BDSIR Network when he says y’all need revoke your wrestling fan cards because that’s what you are… A B!TCH!!!! We don’t need you! Go and watch Big Brother… That’s more appropriate for your B!TCH @$$!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
Look pon this! Goldust taking the p!$$ out of Summer Rae, and w’happen, Summer twiss up her ankle… what a shame, you want me fix it for you girl? I’d twiss up more than your ankle…. and twist your back out too girl!
This could be the one time we may never hear the blasted CM Punk chant, when Hulk Hogan is out here!
I though for a split second that Arnold Schwarzenegger was doing the Vincent Kennedy walk! Yo Arnie? You still got that WWF Title?
Hold up – Arnie and his bredrin wants in the Battle Royal??? But…but….but…!!!! Well he did box down Triple!
Maybe Arnie has another box left in him! YES! BOX DOWN THE MIZ! Him too outta order and bright!!! About ‘You don’t belong here’!!!! Feisty wretch! Him nuh read the news? Nobody talking about his dumb @$$ at WrestleMania XXVII… hell – NO ONE TALKS ABOUT WRESTLEMANIA XXVII!!!
Interesting – WWE still endorsing The Rock and his Hercules movie… something tells me we haven’t seen the last of the great one… not saying that we will see him at big BIG WrestleMania this year…
While the Big Show battles Titus O’Neill, the crowd thought it was a good idea to chant the name of he who doesn’t care… Well the people’s champion did tell you…
Yo have you heard that new track dedicated to the Wyatt man them by my dude Consequence? The tune is DON! Yo this is RePPiN4U: Represent the Real Hip Hop… this tune is crazy!
That should be their WrestleMania theme tune word up!!!
Damn the fans don’t like Cena very much do they? Still chanting Fruity Pebbles and sh!t, fully backing Luke Harper! When Cena was washing his face him start hallucinating the buzzard mask behind him, like when Randall did it in 2005 and he thought Undertaker was standing behind him…
Come on Cena!!! You can manage Luke Harper surely! That’s a nice twist in the crowd! The guys are like ‘LET’S GO HARPER!’ the kids are like ‘HARPER SUCKS!’ that’s cool!!
OH SH!T!!!! THAT IS F**KED UP AND AWESOME! The Wyatts turned out the lights, next thing you know Cena is tied up in the ropes and they put the buzzard mask on him!! BLODCLART!!!!! YO JAY!!!! I bet he’d be marking the f**k out when he saw that!
OH YEAAAH!!!! Funkadactyl time!!! Grantie’s Angels!!! Look at their attire! Why haven’t they posed for Black Men’s Magazine yet??? Never mind AJ Lee’s 281 day reign…
OH NO!! This might be the most f**ked up Divas title match at WrestleMania ever! AJ gotta defend her title against every single diva??? I WIN AGAIN!! I’m looking forward to this sh!t! Did you see the look on my Tamina’s face when she found out she’s in the match? Who am I backing??? I back all of em!!! OH YEAH!!!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
BIG UPS TO THE LATEST HOF INDUCTEE!!! RAZOR RAMON!!! Yes I heard you IWC Dickheads questioning Ramon’s achievements… I throw my toothpick at you muthaf***az… SHUUDUP!!! Just like Jake The Snake… he went to Yoga Rehab and come back powerful! MY NINJA! SALUTE!
Hold up – Seth Rollins paying homage to Eddie Guerrero with the three amigo suplex!
Yo JAY-BEE – I notice how you mention everybody birthdays apart from one man… I suppose that’s part of his gimmick, like Undertaker is not supposed to celebrate a birthday…
GUN SHOT BY JAY-BEE!!! Michael Cole says that Dean Ambrose is the longest running US Champion, and Jay-Bee says ‘well yeah because he doesn’t defend it!!!’ echoing what the fans have said for months now!
That was a superb tag team contest between the Shield and the Real Americans! Seth Rollins once again the superstar! But The Shield nah dun! Them grab hol’ of Cesaro, set up the announce table – Triple Powerbomb through that b!tch – BLAOW!!!!
LOOK PON THIS! My hero Kane and the New Age Outlaws – IN SUITS!!! It’s the Authority vs the Swat Team at WrestleMania! I expect RUCKUS!!!!
Oh well no sign of JTG… never mind Cardenas, there’s always the Battle Royal!
So Brock Lesnar is sporting a new shirt – Eat, Sleep, Break the Streak!!! NEVERRRRR!
Paul Heyman can always talk that sh!t all day… but Brock is like – ENOUGH OF THAT SH!T! LET’S FIGHT!
Undertaker’s like – I built this casket for you muthaf***a! When you see the druids, you know sh!t got serious! Undertaker is f**k!n with Brock right now! Open the casket if you’re bad BROCK!
OH SNAP! Nobody inna deh! Did you ever think Brock would get shook??? Yes the mighty Brock Lesnar could have doo-doo going down his leg… The casket lid close, it open back… OH SNAP! the Undertaker’s in it! THAT’S HOW TO DELIVER A MESSAGE!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.
Doesn’t it feel like a long time since we saw a TNA PPV? I don’t even remember when the last one was. I believe it was Genesis that ran for Two Weeks at the end of January. I suppose straight after that we were in the UK for a Month. Now, I did go on a bit about the UK Shows. See, I love the UK Shows! Sure the Audio is a bit iffy, the Camera’s don’t look quite so crisp, the stage sort of sucks. But the People turn up to watch, and that’s amazing! It looks great because there is a huge crowd. This huge crown in turn is loud, which creates great atmosphere and the Wrestlers themselves up their games and feed off of this crowd, it works ever so well.
So it was Lockdown this past weekend (or right now in the UK) and it seems they took the name to literal, as they clearly didn’t let everyone in the building.
Straight away TNA goes from looking like a Huge wrestling company, to being a slightly better attended basic Wrestling show in your local Leisure Centre. Albeit it with some pretty big names from the Business.
And that is the problem with Lockdown, it just doesn’t “feel” good. It’s hard to get excited when the crowd doesn’t build that reaction. Things just sort of fly over-head. This in turn is a huge shame, because Lockdown was packed with awesomeness! How much awesomeness you ask… well let me tell you!
TNA: LOCKDOWN – 9/3/14
Bad Influence and Chris Sabin vs. Sanada, Yasu and The Great Muta
Should I skip over the part where I always believed the Great Muta to be a women’s Wrestler?
I don’t quite know what is going on, I like that TNA put some Japanese Wrestlers in the ring, but Sanada is the new X-Division Champion, I believe he is at least sticking around for a little while. Yasu seemed to be hated by his own team mates, and well The Great Muta had some chants and excitement. But I fully believe that is because people knew his name and wanted to see him in the ring…. rather than they have any idea of who he is. Though that could just be me?
I believe Kaz and Daniels rocked an early NWA – Great Muta attire for this match, but Daniels’ X-Men logo on the side of his tights spoke louder to me than…. words, spoken really loudly.
Like getting a Karaoke machine but using it to just amplify Farts out of your window…. Of course I never did such a thing… o.O
Aside from the fact that Sanada just reminded me of the Japanese Gaming Market, he was actually rather good in-between those ropes! I look forward to him actually getting a “role” on the show as the X-Division Champion, and to see where that goes. The whole thing is weird though, now I knew Aries lost the belt, but Aries didn’t even mention it, TNA didn’t mention it. They made a point to tell you about the time-travelling Tag-Team Championship debacle, but Aries losing his Main Event – World Heavyweight Ticket? Nothing.
Muta sprayed the mist at Kaz, which is what led to the downfall of Team TNA, with Sanada’s Moon Sault securing the victory. Muta seemed very angry, like you’d expect a Japanese Wrestling Veteran to be. He seemed to shove Yasu out of the way to get his Mist Pellets, and even at one point in the Match was kicking Yasu whilst he was on the floor. No respect for your Younger Generation quickly working their way to make you unemployed… bastards!
What started as clever Word-Play, turned into a rather Gay Personal Request
Samuel Shaw vs. Mr. Anderson
What can you say about this one? Shaw declares that Christy Hemme avoiding being at ring-side is not “keeping it professional”. And so to one-up her, he threatens to Jump off the top of the Cage to the Floor. So now his character is not only perverted, but a perverted stalker, perverted stalker creep, perverted stalker creep with rage, but a perverted stalker creep with rage and suicidal tendencies….. bastard.
Is it bad I sort of liked that given the non “PC” nature of this Story / Character already, had Anderson come out and tell him that he should kill himself, by jumping off of something even higher. The whole thing is a little odd, and I sort of don’t like it. But at the same time, I don’t hate it either. In fact I actually like that Anderson has still got the crowd chanting “Creepy Bastard”. I just want that to be a thing that sticks with him… always.
The main thing I wanted to get out of this match was to actually see Shaw perform. We’ve seen him a couple of times before via Gut Check, but this is the first time he actually got to be his new Character and have a full Match. And he didn’t squander that opportunity, he and Anderson both matched up well, an awesome looking Back Suplex from the top rope and a rather nasty looking Mic Check into the second Turnbuckle. Whilst on the subject, Shaw sold the first Mic Check to the floor pretty damn good. It’s such a stupid move, so props to Shaw on that one.
Though of course this is just getting started, and obviously it needed to come with as many “dumb” ideas as good ones. Like oh I dunno, Christy Hemme coming to ring-side in the first place, let alone cheering on Anderson, let alone standing next to the giant open hole and being pulled in the Ring by Shaw. I would imagine that most people would just “avoid” the situation.
For me though the dumbest part of all was Earl Hebner fumbling around to get the Cage Door open. He took his sweet time to climb the Ring Steps, then he had to find the right key on his Lanyard, then he was struggling to get it in the lock. Of course this was to fill time before Shaw ran into the Door knocking Hebner to the floor. But the fact that you’re referee is so ill prepared to referee a match is ridiculous. It’s as if he would put on Gloves, dust down the Canvas and place a Knee Support Pad to kneel on before Counting. Who does that?
I love the fact that this made TNA’s official PPV – Photo’s Page
Anderson escaped the cage, but with Shaw pulling Hemme back in the ring Anderson made his way back in the cage to save her. Shaw then choked him out and escaped just as Hebner came to, and Huzah! A Victory.
EC3 as the newly declared “American Icon” issued out an Open Challenge seeing as Kurt wasn’t able to compete. And thankfully this segment was pretty damn good!
I don’t know who I was expecting to accept, but I certainly wasn’t expecting Bobby Lashley to return. Funny really, Lashley always looks too nice in the face to be as beefed up as he is. Not to mention his soft high pitched voice. It’s comedy gold, and incredibly unfortunate. Not Brock Lesnar level of girly scream unfortunate, but still, unfortunate.
Lashley though didn’t Wrestle, he just Power-Slammed EC3 and then Speared him. The reason they didn’t have the Match was because he “isn’t on the Roster”. Though reports claim that Lashley is sticking around, so expect to see him soon.
Manik vs. Tigre Uno
Uno has been plugged a few times of late, and someone I was most excited to see debut. Having him do battle with Manik is a great choice also. Whilst I don’t think we’ve even started to scratch the surface of Tigre, his Debut was indeed impressive.
I actually didn’t really make many notes, it’s one of those matches you just need to Watch. He’s got a lot of hype behind him, Manik is great to watch perform anyway. And the match was very good, Tigre hit his finisher the “Sabre Tooth Spalsh”. Which is just as crazy as you would hope. Tenay said Uno is one of the best risk takers in the business, which I don’t know if that’s good or not? I guess so if you want to see crazy matches and moves, and then also maybe not? Either way, throw him in the X-Division, get Manik on screen, bring back Kenny King, Sanada, Aries, and you’ve got a pretty awesome mix!
James Storm vs. Gunner – Last Man Standing
This is probably my favourite match of the night. And that isn’t selling the Main Event short, but the whole feel is just what reminds me of the Wrestling I love.
Straight away Storm walks out with a New Entrance theme, a bit of a more “edgier” look, though the recently died hair and beard wasn’t really necessary. But I love that from PPV’s, you want things to be different and to change. Gunner had new attire also, but still the same naff entrance theme.
Straight away is a brawl, and I love that. They turned it into a street fight straight away, which also added the weapons to the ring before they actually got in the Cage to start the match. Though I still don’t they needed to be contained within the cage for a Last Man Standing match, though the added stipulation was a great bonus.
Yet again, it’s not often you can get with tying people by their Necks to things, but that’s what Storm did to Gunner, even if it didn’t hold for long. Throw in some hard hitting intensity, then you pretty much cover why this match was great. Storm throwing the chair at Gunner mid air before his attempted Diving Head-butt and of course the Superplex through the set up Chairs to close out the match were the highlights.
Gunner took the Victory, which is another step in his development, and rightfully so, I am sold on Gunner. I want him to get a new Theme, and give him Room to develop and you’ve got an extremely credible Wrestler.
Gail Kim (w/Lei’D Tapa) vs. Madison Rayne – Knockouts Championship
It’s weird to see the Knockouts in this type of environment, and in turn any time you see a more “crazy” match from Women’s Wrestlers, you tend to automatically praise it.
A lot of that goes with the unusual nature of the environment, but Gail and Madison put on a great match. Is it better than Tara and Mickie, probably not. But it’s the second best.
Taryn Terrell might be the Stunt Woman who doesn’t mind taking some pretty big knocks, but Gail seems to have no problem with it either. Her cross body Dive into the Turnbuckle which she connected with all Cage was pretty intense. Her Top Rope Neck-breaker to Madison also ranked up on the danger metre. Not that I think Cage matches need to be “Dangerous” per se.
Lei’D Tapa had her moments of shouting and attempting to Climb the cage, but it was Madison’s Top Rope Spear which won her the victory. Which is surprising, I actually thought Gail might win this one, I’m glad she didn’t though. Madison is having a rather good Run currently as Knockouts Champion.
Samoa Joe vs. Magnus – World Heavyweight Championship – Joe’s Rules
I don’t know quite what to make of this one. It’s border line of being quite irrelevant. I always think if your World Champion isn’t closing the show, that something is wrong.
And I couldn’t help but think that Magnus just doesn’t feel like the Champion. I mean, I know he is, but there are so many more moving parts in TNA, especially with the “battle for power”… again. But Magnus doesn’t seem all that relevant. I mean he was, when AJ was around. But you rewind a year to when Bully Ray took the Belt from Jeff, that meant something. Bully was the guy, though not as good as should have been. AJ was the guy, briefly. Hell, the World Championship hasn’t felt as important since it left the waist of Bobby Roode.
So here’s the problem, Joe is built up as being that unstoppable force, so now you need him to be stopped. Furthermore Magnus needs to still be relevant and also competent, surely?
Aside from some pretty good action in the ring, nothing really happened, yes Magnus got busted open, which you don’t often see. To be fair I would quite like Magnus vs. Joe in a No Holds Barred match, let them get gritty and violent. Would certainly change Magnus’ image, and he’s clearly rather capable.
So Joe controls the match, Muscle Buster, Choke, victory? Then this is where it gets weird. We’ve all seen the hand come through the ring before, but given what the match was, it seemed so strange to taint it in the way they did. You can let weird things happen in weird Wrestling matches, but Samoa Joe vs. Magnus, it seemed almost cheap. Which is no doubt why the crowd responded with a slew of “Bullsh*t” chants.
Joe tried to battle his way back to the surface of the ring but Abyss… Joseph Park followed him (still unmasked) and Blackhole Slammed him down, with Magnus locking on Joe’s submission Choke for the victory.
I doubt this is over, but the pairing of Magnus and Abyss is just as disappointing as how the match went down. I didn’t expect Joe to win, but, I dunno, I at least expected Magnus to cheat-win, differently.
Maybe I just have my heart set on Abyss coming back with James Mitchell, and so this way, he’s no different, just teamed with Magnus. Time will tell?
Team MVP vs. Team Dixie – Lethal Lockdown
Austin Aries and MVP kicked off the match which would be good, interesting, weird and out-there at the same time.
I mentioned last week, but giving Davey Richards the position they did, would instantly put him over Eddie, and with a new un-known team, that’s pretty crazy to do so early. Let alone how good they are as a Team, they’ve already planted a pretty hefty divide. When Davey hit the ring he was met with “Fu*k em’ Up, Davey, Fu*k em Up!” Chants. Where did that come from?
Dixie had been blabbing on all show about her “Secured Victory” from New York, and also how Jeff Hardy breached his contract when he walked out of TNA, so he was banned from the Building.
Obviously the final entrant was “Willow”. Which makes little sense to me. I don’t know what they were going for. Did Dixie sign “Willow” as a new Star? Did MVP have a hand in him joining. Why bother making him a “Character” like the video vignettes, which are pretty awesome, and then just have Jeff make his own entrance theme, which sounds exactly like you’d expect a Jeff Hardy entrance theme to sound like. Then he just looks like Jeff, Arm-Bands and everything, with his same move-set. So what’s the idea? Having Jeff debut a new Character, that’s cool, I get it, I’m on board. But when it’s just Jeff, dressed different and squealing like a woman, I don’t know what the goal to achieve was?
Either way, things got interesting when Dixie’s Special Referee / Enforcer turned up in the form of Bully Ray. Who also wasted no time putting a Table in the match.
From a match stand-point, it was great. And for these reasons let alone the stipulations of the match, with the added bonus of Willow / Bully, would make it the best match on the card.
The Wolves went Double Coast to Coast on Jesse, inside a Bin, leaning against an Upside down Robbie E. Aries Brain-busted Davey on an opened out Chair. Aries missed his 450 Splash and landed on a Bin, being followed by an impressive Twist-of-Fate / Swanton Bomb.
But it was Bobby Roode looking to Roode Bomb…. someone through the Table when Bully Ray stopped him. Also Bully then knocking down Roode leading to MVP’s Yakuza? kick for the Victory.
Seems fitting that twice in a row Bully has been the double crossing guy at Lockdown. We all knew he was turning Heel last year, but I toyed with the idea of him screwing Dixie out of her company, but wasn’t entirely sure he would.
So the double screw job / backfire was a pretty decent way to close out Lockdown, not to mention what it means going forward with MVP taking over “Wrestling Operations”.
Needless to say I look forward to the future of TNA, I hope they implement some great new Changes and shake it up.
Sucked the crowd wasn’t “fuller” and more lively for the show, but overall Lockdown was just as successful an Event as you’d hope.
On to Impact, for the Aftermath!
So then wrestling fans! Did you enjoy watching the Talking Dead? Seeing your boy Philip all up on the panel? You got your Vaseline there applying it to your genitalia? But you couldn’t cum because he mentioned absolutely NOTHING about WWE or his return? Like I told you last week…
Deep down you know it’s best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of Punk being with someone else
But you know that it’s over
You know that it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn!!!!!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
Ok enough of that sh!t!!! I got my Jamaican ginger cake, strawberry cheesecake for when the diva dem come on! RAW #1086!! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!
Hold up – my friend Batista has just cussed down Triple for possibly making it a Triple Threat match? Last time I checked Batista, you STOLE Danny/CM Punk’s spot, that’s why the fans them turn dem back pon yuh!
Even Randall has come out here cussing! Triple is trying to tell them it ain’t gonna happen! All we need now is Ric Flair to come out here! Then lo and behold, another RAW moment!
OH MY DAYS!!! I have just heard the most f**ked up scenario in this segment! Danny – you MUST defeat the evil Triple TEEF!!!! Because if you don’t , then TRIPLE will enter the championship match!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Evolution in the main event???? OH MY GOD NO!!!! That’s Internet Wrestling Armageddon!!!!! This must NEVER HAPPEN AT ALL COSTS! PEOPLE!!! WE MUST SUPPORT WRESTLEMANIA! NO STREAMING ALLOWED!!! Batista BEX! Now he realizes that it’s a mistake returning in the first place! I can hear the IWC right now: “Yeah and f**k off to where you came from…” Sounds borderline racist doesn’t it!!!
In the end of the Real Americans Vs Uso Brudda contest, one man fly over the ring and clocks Swagger, but the other Uso Brudda tried the same thing, but got caught by Cesaro’s SHO-RYU-KEN!!!! Oh dear!!!! US-NOOOOO!!!!
Hold up – they be advertising that WWE Slam City animated thing, and they say – the same WWE Attitude????!!!!!! Better choose your words carefully WWE? You know the IWC catch on to everything!
What the f**k did Barrett say? Inebriated???? Did I even spell that right? Yes people, that means intoxicated! I need to use that word!!!!
Shout out to Hornswoggle (better known to me as Little Bastard) remember that? That’s his TV14 name by the way! Gotta represent for St Patrick’s Day! That day means nothing to me – due to my health issues I cannot drink alcohol, particularly Guinness!
Oh hang on – was Titus O’Neill and Sheamus fighting each other? Sorry I missed it…
OH NO! Arnold Schwarzenegger gonna be on Raw next week??? That brings back memories… doesn’t it Triple Teef??!!!!
WHOA!!!! John Cena is afraid of Bray Wyatt!!! He admits it!!! OH SNAP!!! Bray Wyatt says that Cena is filled with evil… HE’S RIGHT! Look how he treats Nikki Bella!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
That is f**ked up!!!!! Bray Wyatt wearing a John Cena shirt????? What is it this week??? F**ked up week??? Wyatt said he wants to be like Cena! He wants to go back home to that ‘plastic girlfriend’ in the castle!!! A SHOT AT NIKKI BELLA!! If this was TV14 mode I know where I would take this storyline!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
WTF was the dude sounding the ring bell for? It’s a NO DQ match between Randall and Danny! Tell him Randall! He should be fired straight away! Either that or drop an RKO on his @$$!
OH THAT WAS MAAAAD! Danny with the Kendo Stick, beating down Randall and kicking him down at the same time! accompanied with every YES! chant!
OH SNAP!! I thought my friend Batista left the building! Maybe he just needed fresh air… cleared his head top! Came back, speared Randall! Danny takes advantage, scores the win, but afterwards Batista took Randall, Batista bomb – BLAOW!!!! That makes it even now after Randall dropped the RKO on Batista earlier, notice – the crowd chanting – ONE MORE TIME! To Batista… I thought y’all hated him???? You fickle fools!!!!
Ok nice convincing video promo Paul Heyman! But your boy ain’t beating mine! Ok I’ll tell you right now – My name is the Infamous Informer, and I am the advocate of the man call – The UNNNNDERTAKERRRRR!!!!! I lead the Undertaker Million Man March… and if the recent Sting interview has anything to go by, Brock Lesnar WILL…REST…IN…PEACE!!! Saying that John Cena did want to fight Undertaker at WrestleMania 30… Ok Cena it’s not the desired reaper, but you’re fighting a different reaper nonetheless!
Even Stephanie is trying to make Triple Teef see sense! What if he wins the WWE World Heavyweight Title? What then???? Triple’s like – I GOT THIS! Stephanie’s like – ‘you better…’ well that means one of two things: One, this may trigger Vincent Kennedy to return, or two, Stephanie might leave him…and my phone might start ringing off!!!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
Big ups to Goldust, doing this wrestling sh!t for 20 years, and he brukk up Fandango! Fandango you WACK!!!! Go sidung! Summer Rae gon leave you, word up!
According to my hero Kane, it was Jerry Lawler that secretly helped Danny Bryan Occupy Raw last week… listen to JAY-BEE rub it in! Lawler’s innocent surely!
Injustice! Send for The Shield!!!! Jerry’s forced into the ring! Didn’t he have a heart attack some time ago???
SWITCH!!!! The Shield do what’s Best For Business! They turned on Kane and brukk him up!!! Dammit Kane why did you trade your sorcery for this Authority nonsense???!!! The Shield should be sh!t scared of your @$$! Has the Shield as a whole turned face? Thank goodness that rumoured triple threat match between the three isn’t happening at WrestleMania, sounds good but not epic enough for WrestleMania! Triple Power Bomb to Kane through the ring – BLAOW!!
YES! This is what I’ve waited for right here! Total Diva time! Naomi is back in effect as well, even though she’s gotta Gabrielle/Sagat thing going on with her eye! Remember this?
Listen to the Bella Twins trying to get Jay-Bee’s d!ck hard, telling him they got tattoos on their body, and inviting him to twitter to have a look pon their hinstagram!
Wait a minute – has Naomi got a new supermove??? a turnbuckle moonsault similar to what RVD does???
Now she has pinned AJ, now the champion wants to take it out on Tamina, you don’t wanna do that madam! Tamina pitches her down ONE TIME! Nikki Bella beat AJ, so has Naomi, I think Natalya has too! Where is this going??? I smell a divas championship scramble at WrestleMania! (come on Grant you’re not WWE creative!) Oh yeah… I’m not…sh!t…
BIG UPS TO MR T!!! NEWEST INDUCTEE IN THE HALL OF FAME!!! Excellent choice for the celebrity wing! Imagine that at big BIG WrestleMania XXX, Hulk Hogan, Mr T and The Ultimate Warrior will reunite! How crazy is that! DON’T THIS SH!T MAKE YOU WANNA…JUMP! JUMP!
Big E. Ryback. Curtis Axel. Dolph Ziggler. Sandow. Big Show. Bertie. My dude Mark Henry. All competing among a few more in the 30-Man Battle Royal. I wished they gave Sandow back the mic though… It’s Barrett that’s running away with that though!
Wait a minute – Batista just said to my girl Renée Young that he’s never quit anything of his life????? Are you sure about that my friend???
It hurts me to say this Batista but…. GET IN THE CH… Oh wait….
OH SNAP!!! Undertaker on WWE Main Event this week? You know I gotta watch that! I don’t check for Main Event!
WTF? Is that an Eminem track for this John Cena Vs Bray Wyatt match for WrestleMania???? Back foot!!! Is that a hint that Eminem might be in the building in New Orleans? Probably performing for Cena’s entrance? More likely we might get a performance from Kid Rock too… Cena is fighting for his legacy? WTF does that mean? Now they tryna make it out like it’s a big profile match… now all the Eminem purists are hunting that Legacy tune down as we speak… unless of course it’s already on the MMLP2 album that the Infamous Informer thinks it’s not all that it is hyped up to be… (it is on the album Grant…) oh seen!
Now it’s time for some real talk from Danny and Triple…
So you mean to tell me that all this sh!t that Triple did to Danny, was apparently Best For Business… not personal… but you see Triple, if you just let Danny become champion in the first place your business would have boomed!!!!! And I thought we would go through a show without a CM Punk chant… oh snap – Stephanie called the cops on Danny! Put the handcuffs on him, but here’s the twist – they’re not real cops! They just guys from developmental! And now, Triple TEEF went and destroyed a helpless Daniel Bryan! Have you heard of the art of fighting without fighting? Well this was the art of using the hammer without USING THE HAMMER!!! Look at Stephanie with those b!tch slaps! The look on her face! That is straight Vincent Kennedy! The EVIL TRIPLE TEEF that I hated in 1999/2000/2001 is back in full effect in 2014!!! You mean to tell me that this is simply gonna be a single match at WrestleMania? NO WAY. That beatdown was personal. THAT NO GOOD SON OF A B!TCH!!! JR would have went OFF!!!
It might mean ‘Call to The Kingdom’ in Latin, but when I see it displayed on Triple’s titantron it simply means to me ‘UUUUUSE DE HAMMER!’
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.
Judgment Day has passed. I have seen the results. Now the fans have started to turn their back on whom they once called their hero…. but let’s pull up a little bit. That pipe bomb he dropped, he basically told you that he DOES NOT GIVE A F**K… Do you need me to bring up the speech? I’ll just draw a little excerpt of it…
“Oh, hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just the biggest part of me leaving as anything else, because you’re the ones that are sipping out of those collector cups right now; you’re the ones that buy those programs that my face isn’t on the cover of, and then at 5:00 in the morning at the airport, you try and shove it in my face so you can get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you’re too lazy to go get a real job!
I’m leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17 (2011), and hell, who knows? Maybe I’ll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe I’ll go back to Ring of Honor. [Waves to camera] Hey, Colt Cabana, how you doing? The reason I’m leaving is you people because after I’m gone, you’re still gonna pour money into this company. I’m just a spoke on the wheel, the wheel’s gonna keep turning and I understand that…”
There it is!!! RIGHT THERE!!! He left, you still brought the WWE Network. You’re still buying merchandising, you ordered big BIG WrestleMania XXX. Who’s the real winner in this? YOU??? Our Survey Says…. FAIL! Until he does decide to come back and surprise the hell out of you all, LEFF DE BWOY ALONE. IT’S OVER. DEAL WITH IT LIKE BATISTA. (Thank God I’m an Undertaker fan…)
Now let’s get back to what’s really good! RAW #1085! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!
So hold up… there’s gonna be a 30-man battle royal for the André The Giant memorial trophy at Big BIG WRESTLEMANIA???? Something about Battle Royals and ladders and WrestleMania make that so magical… and Hulk Hogan has pulled another one out the bag!
Record skip!!!!! John Cena has entered his name in the 30 man battle royal??? Wh-wh-wh-what about John Cena Vs Bray Wyatt???? So much for all these internet claims! Now we know who’s gonna win that muthaf***a!!!!
OH SNAP!!! THEY’RE HERE!!!
Coming out in their Hawaiian shirt and their lantern and his rocking chair… the Wyatt man running down Cena & Hogan about their false sh!t, but turns around and calls himself a god???? First Jay-Bee, then CM Punk, now Bray Wyatt??? Wh-wh- JESUS HAVE MERCY!!! Thank God Cena changed his mind, now he wants to brukk up Bray at WrestleMania!!! Ok guys we can stop panicking!
Hold up – Cena just defeated Luke Harper in a roll up pin! YES – not an AA, Not the five move of doom… none of that sh!t!
Gotta say this is a moment for generations, for the kids, Cena and for us growing up, Hulk Hogan… all they need now is the Great One himself….shame they can’t work out a quick plan for him to appear at WrestleMania XXX like he promised?
Oh lawwwwwd The Authority just called Batista an A+ playa???? Even I as a Batista fan has to disagree there as far as Batista’s spear move at least!!! Now they want Danny to apologize for his actions last week? We all know that’s not gonna happen… there’s more chance of Danny getting in the chair by order of Vincent Kennedy than him apologizing to the authoritaah! Remember what I told you Danny… all you gotta do is mention Shawn Michaels and you will get what you want!
So Ryback wants to put his name in the hat for that 30 man jump off at Wrestlemania XXX? Makes sense if you ask me – he best win that muthaf***a! He ain’t won sh!t since he made it ‘big’! One thing I can say: At least WWE have shown a remedy for the large abundance of talent!
… and Drybaxel lose again!!!! Maybe I should change my mind about Ryback winning the battle royal… remember back in the day? When Ryback would brukk up two, even three-man at once??? Now he can’t manage the Usos??? HA! HA!
Loving that segment with my hero Kane and The Shield… telling them to exercise their demons – key word – DEMONS against the Rhodes Brudda… I liked how the Shield twisted the whole ‘Demon’ thing on my hero!!! Particularly Roman Reigns…. Hmmmm… it’s a long shot but is it WWE’s way of twisting up storylines? Maybe have Roman Reigns fight my hero Kane? F**k that – I’m just gonna watch this thing like everybody else…Isn’t it funny how back in the day the Shield used to brukk up Kane and put him through tables?
Hold up – Big E is jumping in the 30 man jump off too??? Er…. what about the Intercontinental title defense???? You see Big E I have to ask these things because my nemesis (IWC) want to know – they like to see championships defended and if not it becomes a problem…
Big ups to Paul Heyman for breaking the streak down and comparing it to other guys like Hogan, Austin, Cena and Edge who had a streak… but also lying to the Undertaker like that by saying – ‘he worships him and the streak’???? No you don’t Heyman! Last week you crossed your legs in the ring and said you want to see the streak brukk!!! So Mr Messenger Walrus! Go back and tell the one who banging Sable on a regular that if he shows up at New Orleans he’s gonna get BUSS ARSE STRAIGHT UP!
I was wondering how long it would take for the Memphis fans to chant CM Punk’s name… thankfully it didn’t last very long either… matter of fact I’ve got a tune for you CM Punk fans, and it goes a lil’ something like this….sing along if you know the words…
Deep down you know it’s best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of Punk being with someone else
But you know that It’s Over
You know that it was through Make it burn, Make it burn…make it BURRRRRRRRN!!!!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
Well the Shield mans dem held it down against the Rhodes Brudda… exercising the demons just like what my hero Kane told em to do!
Hold up – Natalya just said that everybody talking about Total Divas???? I know it starts up next week, I’m a big fan but girl – NOBODY ain’t talking about that sh!t!!!
Gotta big her up though, she just said on commentary – ‘Enough is Enough and it’s time for a change’ as in we need a new divas champion…. see what she did there???
OH SNAP!!!! Nikki Bella just used that torture rack move on AJ Lee and beat her!!! Walking round like that Diva’s title belongs to her while Natalya looks on??? So much for my AJ Lee Vs Tamina WrestleMania prediction!
I rate Renée Young interviewing LL Cool J right there… it’s a wonder he didn’t lick his lips at her on some Doin’ It, Doin’ It, Doin’ It Well sh!t!!!
Renée: “If you could pick a WWE superstar to join your NCIS team who would you pick?”
LL: “I’d pick the Bella Twins… I gotta couple of missions for em….”
DUTTY BWOY!!!!! I’m sure you have LL!!!!
OH SNAP! Danny and the Yes movement are going to plan to occupy Raw… ‘What does he mean?’ asks Jay-Bee? Er… what he means is that the Memphis crowd… which happens to be a legion of dorks in Danny Bryan shirts have taken over the ring and no wrestling match is running until Triple says YES to Danny’s WrestleMania challenge! Is it me or is that WWE’s sly way of trolling the IWC? HA! HA! Holy crap!!!! This is actually next level!!! And he didn’t use the name Shawn Michaels!!! Oh here they come!!! TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEF!!
They have 30 seconds to comply!!! Oh dear look w’happen! Send for the security! Er only 2???? Is that all you got??? Lawwwd Stephanie BEXXX! They disrespected the McMahon name!!! WROOOOOOOY!!!! Where’s Vincent Kennedy???!!!!
OH SNAP!!! I JUST MARKED OUT LIKE A B!TCH!!!!! YES I’M TYPING IN CAPITALS BECAUSE I CAN! I’M THE INFAMOUS INFORMER!!! NOW TRIPLE HAS ACCEPTED DANNY’S CHALLENGE!!! BUT DANNY WAS NOT DUN! HIM SEH – IF DANNY BRUKKS HIM UP, HE GOES INTO THE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH TOO!!! TRIPLE BACK OFF JACKET!!! WROOOOOY!!! WAS THIS WHAT TRIPLE MEANT WHAT HE SAID TO DANNY BACKSTAGE BACK IN THE SUMMER???? CM WHO???? GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE!!!
Ok where are all you haters? All you doubters that said you are gonna stream WrestleMania XXX? I liked how Mike Cole described the situation as the ‘Caviar’!!!
Now the Memphis Crowd has gone hype as we enter the Memphis street fight between Sheamus and Christian! Guitars are destroyed! Chairs all over the shop! Drums are being banged! Kendo sticks are swinging! I bet The Honky Tonk Man and Jeff Jarrett are fuming right now!!!
..and after all that Christian got brukk up! Brogue Kick through the drum into Christian’s grill – BLAOW!!!!
Triple and Steph are so bex that they have left the building!!! Maybe they need to let off some steam… maybe they’re off for a quickie… it’s usually the remedy for situations like this! Can you believe that some wrestling fans are STILL not excited for this WrestleMania sh!t in some FB wrestling groups?? That’s it – last straw… I am taking myself out of those groups… y’all too miserable. You wanted Danny in the title match, you wanted Danny to kick down Triple, now you get both, and you’re still complaining? You wanted The Shield Vs The Undertaker??? What Danny just done, Philip could NEVER DO…. MAKE IT BURN MUTHAF***A!
I GET IT!!! Now I know who’s gonna win that 30 man jump off! It’s this man right here! Alexander Yusef!!! That Lana – F**********K!!!! look how her blouse & skirt tight up! I love that sh!t!!! That would make my super sperm shoot out like a super soaker!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
Now the main event has started, Danny & Big Show Vs Randall & Batista!
Jay-Bee says don’t believe in miracles, but Danny just dropped the Dragon Knee on Randall – BLAOW!!! He manages to do that to Triple at big BIG WRESTLEMANIA – it’s worries for Randall and Batista!
THE GRANT SAYS THIS: The day after the Royal Rumble, I actually phoned in to Mike Knoxxx Perfect Plex show on BDSIR NETWORK. That night, Mike Knoxxx asked me if WWE can fix this mess they made. I said an emphatic – YES. ladies & gentlemen, WWE have FIXED IT. Now I’m gonna delete myself out of those miserable wrestling groups… they are doing me no favours.
OFFICIAL SMACK TALK CENTRE THEME TUNE FOR WRESTLEMANIA XXX!!!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
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Oh yes indeedy, it’s been a weird Week. It all started last Monday night when I awoke with bad stomach cramps and proceeded with Sickness and Diarrhoea the likes you dream about. Not that you spend your time dreaming about being ill, though in a similar related manor my dream last night was about IGN’s own Colin Moriarty. For some reason I was on my way to visit him and he lived in these towering apartment bloks. He lived near the very top and the only way to get close was to use this elevator like a Window Cleaners moving platform to scale the building. Obviously and most conveniently this lift only went to about 3 levels below that of Colin’s apartment, so to get any higher you needed to construct a Ladder which consisted of multiple little wooden blocks that screwed together. So having a dream where I’m climbing this flimsy wooden ladder up the side of this enormous building balancing on a window cleaners platform…. not fun.
The last show of February, and I really can’t wait to get back to the states. I know I mentioned how awesome the British crowds are, and they are. But after a while you feel like you’re just stuck in this endless void of time. They were in the UK for a matter of days… why has it been over a Month and they’re still showing this programming. I hate taped shows.
I believe there is one last show from the UK and then it’s Lockdown, thank god! And then on to bigger and better things. Finding the enthusiasm for TNA at times can take more effort than to Write this blog.
MVP kicked off the show with a little nod to Gunner who will “get his title shot” as soon as MVP is in charge. But of course first things first is indeed the chocolate starfish, is my man Fred Durst. Magnus and Joe will Main Event Lockdown, and MVP had the contracts in hand to confirm it. No Magnus rules this time, no it’s “Joe’s Rules!” I want to ask my work if I can include a “Dan’s Rules” in my new contract. I don’t really have anything to request, I just like the mention of my name as it soothes my growing ego. Joe’s Rules are Win only by Submission or Knock Out. No escaping the cage or Pin falls. Of course this already sets the stage for Lockdown and some phoney way of Joe being knocked out. The second they add a stipulation which gives leverage and wiggle room for a Heel win… you know who is going to win.
Speaking of winning though, Dixie apparently was winning this week, as she wasn’t in attendance from London, quite simply Magnus just reminded her it was London, and she skipped the show. A Wise Woman. I remembered the show was from London and contemplated not watching.
So yes Joe Head-Butted Magnus ala Joe and Angle’s face off, only much less meaningful and relevant… also Joe looked much more out of shape. Like being head-butted by a Whale in Street Clothes… don’t tell him I wrote that.
Bromans vs. Bad Influence vs. The Wolves
With Bad Influence and The Bromans begging to be placed on Team Roode at Lockdown, he gave them both a chance by competing in a Triple Threat Tag-Team Match with The Wolves.
The Wolves also wore the Belts to the ring, selling their recent victory on a house show… in America. So the physics of Time and Space were well and truly bent as TNA travelled back to America for a week, before coming back to the UK… no surprise people think they’re bad with money.
Poor Robbie E and Jesse had to lose their belts before actually losing them. What?
The Wolves and Bad Influence controlled the majority of the Match, no bad thing given that having these teams go, is fantastic. Though yet again sells the legitimacy of Bad Influence short. Sure we have Taz talk them up on Commentary, but they are the team who lose, despite always being strong in story lines.
To make matters worse they never gave Robbie E or Jesse the chance to Tag in. Until the ending where Robbie E whom was in a different corner to that of his team, blind tagged his way in and won the match. Is it bad it bugs me was allowed the Tag, from the Wrong Corner? What is the point of Tag-Ropes if you don’t need to use them?
Realism people! How am I supposed to believe these Wrestling Ref’s are so far up their own arse’s that they throw the Heels from Ring-Side, are stupidly blind to the Face’s Tag-Team’s, so strong ethic that they don’t let the slightest thing slide for the Faces, but the Heels get away with the exact same tricks, every time! Then they can Tag from the wrong corner!!! And win!?Arghh!!! TNA! TNA! TNA!
Not only does that put the Bromans in Lethal Lockdown, but it puts Bad Influence out of the picture. This is bad because Roode is the captain.. having EGO in that match makes sense? They made it to the end of the Bound for Glory Series via teamwork. Why would Roode pick the team who lose, purely because they won with a fluke victory? Crazy people!
EC3 also had Power to once again chose his opponent. And to his credit he chose on the best Wrestlers there is. England’s own Doug Williams. Still a little sore that TNA let him go in the first place. Having him Job to EC3 made it slightly worse. Doug didn’t seem to be as “spot on” as he once was, but having EC3 get away with a Low blow in front of Hebner, and then hit the One Percenter and win was a little grim.
Least he didn’t win cleanly. And it was nice seeing Doug back, albeit it briefly… once.
The Cowboy James Storm didn’t waste any time and called out Gunner. Which is awesome, I like it when we have Heels who don’t just run and hide. Of course all of this boils back to when Gunner pushed Storm out of the way to climb over him and win the shot at the World Championship. They skimmed over the “saving him from Bobby Roode” towel throwing. Apparently Gunner handing him the Tag-Belts was the icing that broke the Camel’s back.
Storm threw a couple shots at Gunners background as a Marine “nobody would miss you” I guess we can’t have a Heel turn without someone being spoiled and whining a little with name calling. More to the point why does Storm have to “explain” anything, he hates him, simple, kick his ass, fight!
A little later on in the show and Storm and Gunner broke out in a Parking Lot Brawl which of course was broken up by that pesky Al Snow who gets involved in everything. And now we have another match for Lockdown, which should be pretty good. Not to mention Storm makes a good Heel, one week in and he’s the most exciting he’s been for a long time.
Bad Bones vs. Samoa Joe
Yes, finally Angle is inducted into the Hall of Fame. Why this happened? Who knows. Well aside from TNA’s bragging rights over WWE. At least with Sting they went to the effort of making it meaningful, giving him a Video Package, getting a room booked, getting Wrestlers to turn up and make speeches. Kurt, it’s a story line, it sucked, he gets a crappy watch, rattles of a load of Crap I don’t believe and limps away.
Hell, the highlight was that the TNA Hall of Fame logo was perfectly placed on JB’s Crotch.
Angle said the same crap you’d expect him to say “The TNA hall of fame is about the fans” and he couldn’t have done any of this without the fans, and TNA wouldn’t exist without the fans. And blah blah blah. I found it a little disturbing to find out that Kurt’s wife is his Rock. Unfortunately I didn’t find it moving, or meaningful, TNA’s World Championship isn’t recognised as a World title, why would their Hall of Fame be any different, it’s ridiculous enough as it is. Who is going to go in it next year…. Don West? Who else is there?
To make matters worse EC3 then crashed the segment, reading Angle’s doctors note about his injury, and that EC3 ended Kurt’s Career. Kurt did the scripted “No Tear!” in his knee speech and punched EC3. But after years of watching Kurt perform, I’ve never seen him in more pain than he was in this whole segment. He struggled to walk… Kurt Angle… struggling to walk. It was awkward to watch, punching EC3 seemed like a bad idea given his unstable position. But yet, Angle’s next match will be at Lockdown. This could be like his match last year with Wes… so non eventful. Or he could do something crazy and injure himself even more. He’s apparently already said he’s not going to re-sign with TNA, and expects to be back in the WWE by the end of the year.
I don’t know if I am supposed to think The Beautiful People have reunited. Given their entrance together, but it’s just not the same without Angelina.
I don’t know what word describes this match better than “Disappointed”. Lei’D Tapa still hasn’t been let off the leash, and what we saw of the Alpha Female was a clear sign of she’s where she is, because of her look. Coz she certainly didn’t do anything well in the ring. Which is more annoying because Tapa quite clearly can Wrestle, and yet she’s not allowed to do anything currently.
And what is worse than all of that, is that Gail helped Tapa win. Gail Kim…. helped the team of Lei’D Tapa and the Alpha Female win. They needed help?
What kind of crappy ass debut is it that this huge beast of a woman, teamed with this even huger beastier of a woman, can’t defeat two little skinny blonde girls, one of which can’t even run the ropes. Yet another wasted debut from a credible talent.
This also puts Gail vs. Madison at Lockdown, and yes, every match is contested in a Steel Cage again… about time.
Samuel Shaw hit the ring to show people that he’s not creepy, and he is purely “misunderstood” and his Quote was quite fitting “To be great, is to be misunderstood”. Works for me, clearly they’re going for a more Dexter look, but I think he looks more like Odo from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.
Shaw actually had some pretty decent music, so I hope his push continues to somewhere interesting. Anderson didn’t waste much time before he confronted Odo, and quickly got the crowd chanting “Creepy Bastard” at Shaw.
Shaw called Christy Hemme “easy” which resulted in a good old fashioned slap in the face, and Anderson was in to save the day. Well, save by being locked in Shaw’s pretty impressive looking submission hold. Given Anderson is a little more fuzzy in the face, they both dressed the same, looked the same, and from a Distance there was a typical “which one do I shoot?” moment?
Roode and MVP have been trying to recruit Aries to their Team, and so in the end given it’s a game of Trust, Aries got MVP to make him special guest referee, to judge for himself as to which team he wants to represent.
Aries’ novelty “No trousers” attire soon wore off and became uncomfortable to watch, which I am sure is exactly what he was going for.
However the ending was the selling point, MVP lining up Roode ran full force, as Aries connected with a Spinning Forearm taking down the Charging MVP. Roode hits the….. Roode Bomb… And bob’s your neighbour, once removed, who got arrested for peeping at you through his curtains.
I am Team Roode. I’m also sick of all this Dixie nonsense, but Roode and Aries represent TNA, MVP doesn’t. Makes sense.
James Storm could align with Roode, another TNA original. Samoa Joe, maybe not. But you never know.
I have no idea if MVP will win or Roode will, but I am invested and interested to find out. Quickly moving on to next week’s show from London, then back to the states!
Huzah, Hurray, Hairy Man.