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Author Archives: Jon P

About Jon P

Currently run www.cageamateursuk.com which is a combat sport website.

Monday Night Raw #1080: February 3, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

I know you hate me, don’t you
I bet you sit and wish my time never came
You probably rather see me die in the game
You probably rather see me die in a plane
Well ya’ll see me up on top of my dough
I get my money sh!t changed…
(Scarface, In Between Us, 2001)

You jabronies act like the world has come to an end! Your saviour walked out on yo’@$$ for YOUR SINS… you can make it like the WWE didn’t book Mr Brooks in the main event of WrestleMania… but the TRUTH is – it is YOU who didn’t support Phil properly, you chant his name, but you don’t lead a straight edge life like I do.. you don’t put your hand in your pocket to support him… you would rather stream the PPV for free then complain afterwards because John Cena kicked out at 2. You claim to be CM Punk followers but you don’t follow his prophecies… That’s like reading the bible but you’re not being fruitful, and multiply!!!! YES, I am the Infamous Informer, Your favourite heel, and it’s YOUR FAULT!!! Don’t blame the WWE on some pass the buck sh!t… it’s YOUR FAULT! All this Best For Business sh!t is JUST THAT – BUSINESS… It’s not BEST FOR YOU!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Life goes on – DEAL WITH IT! RAW #1080! HOL ‘DAT – BLAOW!!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZHere comes Mr 2 Belts! Ladies Favourite Randall TEEF Orton! Didn’t I see the Seahawks wield the WWE Title after they won the Superbowl? I think I did! I gotta find that pic…

And immediately the crowd are chanting for CM Punk!!! Forget it!!!! He’s not coming! He’s sitting in his yard eating yogurt, chocolate bon bons!!! Probably drinking Pepsi and sh!t!

Lawwwd have mercy Stephanie is telling Randall about himself! Is it me or is she and Triple throwing shots at CM Punk subliminally?

Randall is such a biatch that now the authority are actually considering making Danny the face of the company – that is if Danny defeats Randall?

I have a question for you wrestling dorks: Why do you always say that Triple ‘buries’ people? And he uses a shovel? Don’t you realise that he has a HAMMER in his office? He doesn’t use a bloody shovel you PEA – BRAINS!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

6-man jump off!!! The Shield Vs Langston, Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston! I LIKE THIS! LET’S GO!!!

It’s good to see the crowd backing Rey here. That justifies the confusion about the rumble… Rey knows he was only booed because he was #30 and Danny didn’t get a look in.

Is it me or is Roman Reigns busted open after Langston brukk up his clart?!!

OH SNAP!!! So it ain’t just Bray that can talk that cryptic sh!t! Now one of the other bwoy can talk sh!t and whistle??? While the other dude with the buzzard mask don’t say sh!t??? WROOOOY! Gotta say this battle with the Shield Vs The Wyatts is WrestleMania quality! When was the last time you saw the Shield shook in the ring?

CAN I HAVE SOME DECORUM PLEASE!!!! AND SHUDDUP! BECAUSE I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS!!! (RECORD SKIP!!!) Hold on, Jerry Lawler tells Barrett that he may not be around next week? What does he mean by that???? Answers on a postcard please! Tweet me @MZATheInfamous! Don’t be shy!!

Yes I did hear that Christian was back in the hiz-house!!! Come on Christian! for your Canadian brothers! Do it for my Canadian girlfren!!! Don’t let that dyam arse Swagger beat yuh!

Grant & Leanna

YES!!!! Christian GOT HIM!! Hahaha!!! Swagger you sir are WACK!!!! If I was you Zeb Colter I’d kick him out of the States!!! WE THE MUTHAF***!N PEOPLE MUTHAF***A!!!

OH SNAP!!! The steel cage ah come down now???? New Age Outlaws! The Rhodes Brudda! Someone is about to get F**KED UP in that muthaf***a!!! LET’S GO!!

Betty White to be a guest star on Raw next week? I would have asked who in the blue hell she is but Jerry Lawler just told me so it’s all good… The Golden Girls is classic but what about Desperate Housewife? And how come I can’t get that Devious Maids pon my telly??? No secret – I have such a crush on Roselyn Sánchez…. every time I see her something happens to my d!ck…

misc01

JBL asks, who does the crowd chant for? The New Age Outlaws, or the Rhodes Brudda? Since they can’t decide, they opted for chanting CM Punk! How many times have I gotta tell you fans – CM Punk ain’t coming back!!!! Stop chanting his name – he doesn’t give a f**k about you!!! He didn’t get his muthaf***!n Ice Cream bars… now he’s a big baby!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

AAAH – HAAA!!! Mike Cole  hit the jackpot! New Age Outlaws now tag team champions because of the corrupted Triple TEEF!!!!! Best For Business I was told…. well yeah! We like to see these mans because they still got it!

I think that was actually a 3 count right there by Ref Mike Chioda!!! Cody Rhodes got robbed! Cody thinks f**k that – I’m climbing to the top of this muthaf***a, Moonsault on Road Dogg – BLAOW! Then Billy Gunn thought – ah yuh b!tch!!!! Fame-Asser – BLAOW!!!! THAT WAS CRAZY!

LAWWWD HAVE MERCY!!! Zack Ryder dep pon de telly!!!! Oh yeah I heard that Titus O’Neill turned evil against Darren Young… this is the Infamous Informer and I’m your favourite heel and this was what Titus was thinking all along…

W’happen? Zack Ryder lost again? What else is new? Told y’all muthaf***az – Zack Ryder is WACK!!!! He’s been WACK since 19 HOW LONG! GET OVER IT! And y’all still chanting for he who is not in the f**k!n building!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WTF???? WWE Supports BLACK HISTORY MONTH???? Ahmed Johnson where you at rude boy??? What must be going through his head???

While this dance off segment is bound to be dry, let’s talk about Summer Rae… the latest woman to be in the Total Divas series!

Hang on, maybe I should talk about this! Summer Rae dancing… I can feel the fangs in my gums growing! Now we gonna see this Emma-lution woman dance… she cyan’t dance!!! What the hell was that???? Sorry Emma you’re not getting in the bed with the Infamous Informer!!! GET IN THE CHAIR!!! Better yet, take out my majestic member! Put it between your wet lips! And suck!

20130225_642xvariable_NXT-SSpg-template_emma

As much as I love Sheamus, he’s fighting Curtis Axel… this is the part where I put on my chocolate pudding… and you can’t have none! STOP CHANT THE BWOY BLODCLART NAME! GET OFF HIS D!CK! In Punk We Trust? I don’t trust that muthaf***a!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

…AND I SAY YEAAAH!!! I WALK ALONE INSIDE THIS PIT OF DANGER!!! Batista in the hiz-house! Obviously the crowd have Tourette’s because they keep chanting one name… thank god for Bertie who is telling my good fren Batista about how it runs around the wrestling circuit – yes he’s talking for the IWC… but YOU BOO HIM… WHY???? You fans make me sick!!!

Dolph Z!&&l£r gets no time on my blog… with that said: I hope the Wyatt Family f**k him up!!! It’s Black history month – don’t f**k up R-Truth and Xavier Woods!

Uh oh my boy Mark Henry is coming back in effect next week! Brock Lesnar stay the f**k out the arena!!! (like he’s gonna listen to me!)

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! YES! Drop that Sister Abigail on that Pink shirt wearing spaghetti head muthaf***a! Hang on stop – the Shield!!! They are not afraid of the Wyatts! And Bray is laughing! he welcomes the war!!! Yo Triple! Any chance we can extend this feud to WrestleMania? Get some weapons up in there? I dunno, parking lot brawl? New Orleans street fight??? Only that it’s in a real street???

Hold up – now this Yusef dude is in the main roster, who’s the russian chick???? YO! Y’all can keep your beloved CM Punk – THIS IS GREAT! Now my favourite Nubian Naomi is in the ring with Aksana, AJ Lee on commentary – 232 days as champion??? Only 202 days to go AJ! Then you can bugger off with your boyfriend too!

…and going by AJ’s commentary she is dissing my girl Tamina…. I’m telling you these two will fight at WrestleMania and I am backing Tamina all the way!!!

Naomi got whole heap a move, she just revealed her new supermove – a moonsault similar to RVD! I’m telling you this girl is reppin for Black History! I would love for her to win the belt but it’s already destined for AJ vs Tamina at WMXXX… can you feel it???

Now there is a hero to be proud of! Danny Bryan! You know what? I respect the hell out of Phil Brooks but I’m the Infamous Informer, Your favourite Heel and I’m just gonna go ahead and say it….

F**K CM PUNK!!!!!

YEAH I SAID IT!!! GRANT BODY – P!!!

Batista stole Danny’s destiny at the rumble but CM B!tch walks out? I don’t blame him in certain ways but Phil that’s a B!TCH MOVE!

Come on Danny!!! Do this for the Seahawks!!! They respect and honor you!

Seahawks Danny Bryan

And they continue to chant for that b!tch during this match? DISRESPECT!!!! Worst crowd ever!!! HA! HA! HA! Nah I’m playing!

Why don’t you chant for Mark Henry? He’s not here? Chant Kane! Chant Brock! Hell – chant Stone Cold Steve Austin! Chanting for he that does not exist in your building who doesn’t even care about your @$$ – so disrespectful to Randall and Danny! They are putting on a great match and this is what you do?

GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY Danny is f**k!n Randall up with those kicks!!! (I don’t hear you Theaker!!! Your boy Ziggler got f**ked up earlier! Got nuthin to say to me now have ya??!!!)

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Danny’s shoulder is exposed.. now Randall is gonna f**k up that shoulder. Randall does that – Danny cannot execute the Yes Lock effectively… he can do his super dragon kick though!

OH SNAP!!!! Randall lost to Danny! My hero Kane tried to TEEF! maybe Triple sent Kane to bait it up and it backfired!!! UH-OH!!!! But Randall & Kane are not done! CHOKESLAM!!!! BLAOW!!! I thought he was the D.O.O.??? That mean seh he can’t touch nobody! I think Kane wants to be fired!!!! He don’t care about no muthaf***!n suit!

Talking of not caring… nor does CM Punk… look at him, looks like he’s reading a comic… maybe it’s an anime comic… maybe it’s Urotsukidoji!!!!

Punk in his yard

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

BDSIR Network

Smack Talk Centre Raw

STC NEW LOGO

What a LA-LA at the Royal Rumble! Just like the bossman of the Smack Talk Centre said: ‘The PPV was like meeting a hot woman on a date, she’s into you, you’re into her, you’re about to get that Drew & Derwin on, you know that wonderful night, only to find out she has a D!CK!!!’ The record skips and you are running for the hills. Next thing you know you find yourself on Jerry Springer Show…

Limo Blow up

Isn’t it ironic? That last week on Raw, Triple Teef told Randall to ‘Fix It and Make it Right’??? Now after the Rumble, the atrocity that was Danny not even in the Rumble, my good Wu-Tang friend Batista won the thing, now it’s TRIPLE TEEF that’s gotta fix it…and MAKE IT RIGHT! I think Vincent Kennedy should give Triple the ’30 days to turn WWE around’… or he’s FIRED!!!

 

Threats to boycott WWE Network, Mick Foley about to throw the brick through the TV, controversy hitting BBC News… SH!T IS CRAZY! RAW #1079! HOL’ DAT BLAOW!!

WWF PROPA TINGZOk get out here Triple TEEF! i don’t know why you’re smiling about!!!

Damn the fans still bex about Batista!! Hold up Stephanie talking about the chamber… and Danny waste no time coming out here!!! that’s it Danny! Kick down Triple!!!! The hottest superstar out today and he can’t even enter the rumble??? BLASPHEMY!!!

YES! YES! YES! Tell that Triple TEEF! You want in the Chamber and compete for that World Wrestling Federation Title!!! Tell him say he’s keeping you down! I guess the script writers got to work big time!!! I suppose it is INJUSTICE! Send for the Shield!!!

Sheamus is back in effect rude boy! Here comes Cena with his glow in the dark shirt! What’s that in his back pocket? You’re not a blood! you’re not a crip muthaf***a!!! that’s like a green handkerchief or some sh!t!! What are you tryna start a Cenation crew to go against the Bloods and the Crips???

Wait – I thought WWE can’t use that Sin Cara character again??? I see him teamed up with Mysterio, who was booed at the Rumble but we all know the boos were not meant for him coming out at #30…. let’s not talk about the rumble too much, don’t wanna wind up your b!tch @$$£$! You think I don’t know about that video of your fat @$$ tearing up the house because Danny wasn’t in the rumble???

Six man tag team match announced for Raw! The Shield Vs Danny, Johnny and Sheamus! Winning team goes to fight inna de Chamber! Well I think we know the winners here… like we can see Randall defending his title against the Shield & Brock Lesnar in the Chamber! But wait! I wouldn’t put it past WWE to throw Roman Reigns up in the Chamber! WATCH DI RIDE!!!

I never thought I’d say this but… BAD NEWS BARRETT!! You got me!!! That big out podium, you want some decorum??? I like that word!!! I had to google that sh!t!!!

dɪˈkɔːrəm/
noun
noun: decorum

1.
behaviour in keeping with good taste and propriety.
“he had acted with the utmost decorum”
synonyms: propriety, properness, seemliness, decency, decorousness, good taste, correctness, appropriateness;
politeness, courtesy, good manners;
refinement, breeding, deportment, dignity, respectability, modesty, demureness
“he had acted with the utmost decorum”

Jesus Have Mercy that Summer Rae!!! (Down boy! Down!!!) I feel the eyes rolling into the back of my head top!!! I was told I was ‘not normal’… to those who say that, THE GRANT SAYS – Thank You For The Compliment!

Not feeling that WrestleMania XXX theme tune!!! F**k that theme tune – The Infamous Informer got his own theme tune!!!!

 

Can someone tell me why every time Fandango is in the ring that NXT chick Emma is in the crowd??? Answers on a postcard please! Nah f**k that – tweet me – @MZATheInfamous!!!

HA HA! Batista pointing at the fans with a sign saying – ‘BooTista’!!!! And smiling about it! OH SNAP!!! Hold up – what are the fans chanting? I can’t hear th… oh hang on I got it – DANIEL BRYAN!!!

Better choice of jeans by the way Batista… stop wearing that skinny jeans sh!t!

While my good friend Batista tells Randall that he don’t business who him a fight, perfect opportunity for BRRRROCK LESSSNAR to come out – remember he said he was fighting the champion!!!

Look at BROCK!!! Screaming like a Beast at the Viper! I think the Viper looked like he got a bad case of diarrhoea!

So that’s how it goes down in the streets? Either Lesnar fights Batista, or he fights Randall for the title, or ELSE…. No one leaves Cleveland alive??? OH SNAP!

What the f**k? Battle of Cleveland match? Dolph Ziggler vs the Miz? Ok this is the part where I get my tea…. it’s cold out here!

Ok I’m back…. who won that match I missed it???

 

OH SNAP!!! THE ROCK GOT ME!!!

Damn I love that entrance by the Uso brudda! I love the Samoan chant, When they say Us, we say Os… then the pyro – BLAOW!!!! One of my favourites since the Batista entrance!

Meanwhile… big ups to Smack Talk Centre’s #1 Dutty Bwoy Lee Steadx for this one!

THE INFAMOUS NEMESIS!

Look at that fat muthaf***a! Makes me wanna give him two kick in his dutty mouth!

It’s the USOS TIME NOW!!! They defeated Dryback! I can’t believe one year ago Ryback was my Royal Rumble champion… look at him now… anyone would think he talked sh!t about Triple Teef and Stephanie!

Oh hang on – the next Hall Of Fame inductee??? Could it be the British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith???

As much as I like Bertie, I want Kofi to win this one… word up man can’t they give Kofi a push after he defeated Randall and his wild @$$ stunts at the Royal Rumble??? Look past the fact that he’s a black man who is more than capable of taking Summer Rae away from Fandango… well that ‘s if he was a bona-fide yardy!

Did someone just have a sign saying ‘Sting Vs Taker WM30′???? My eyes are razor-sharp like The RZA! Oh no the fans not feeling the match! Cheering JBL and now Jerry Lawler! They’re not chanting Michael Cole as well?!!!!

That same fool with that sign I mentioned earlier now has a sign saying ‘Cena Still Owns Rock’… I don’t care how much you paid for that ticket – you could have got some pu$$y with that money! And change left over to buy some muthaf***!n toothpaste and mouthwash after you had your dirty stinking mouth full of hair!

GRANT BODY – P!!!BDSIR LAYLA GRANT

Now the fans are feeling the match! Backing Kofi! Come on kid! Use your Guinness Punch skills! Use the ackee & salt fish! Calaloo! all that good sh!t us Jamaicans love to eat!

Oh snap… Bertie won… damnit! Yes – WWE2K14 is one of the hottest games out now.. that is until June when Ultra Street Fighter IV drop! It’s over for everybody tuh-blodclart!

Considering the New Age Outlaws are ‘heels’, they don’t convince me as heels! They are those guys you can never boo!

I love when the WrestleMania sign is hanging high in the arena… that sign makes you FIGHT YOUR BEST!!! Ever noticed that the quality of wrestling matches has improved???

Random thought – can you imagine if Goldust and Billy Gunn had a feud back in the New Generation/Attitude Era? Think about it, Billy Gunn’s alias is Mr A$$… and considering Goldust gimmick back in the day… Billy Gunn would be asking for trouble! Saying that, if it was TV14 now, Goldust would be going after Dolph Ziggler or Darren Young… imagine that sh!t! Even Darren Young wouldn’t want him!

NO WAY! Brock Lesnar fights nobody because the authoritaaah was rampin??? Now he’s dropping steel chairs on the Rhodes Brudda??? Doesn’t it remind you when Austin and Triple Teef were dropping Steel Chairs on the Hardys and Lita? My boys Kane & The Undertaker???? Hmmm… The Undertaker… (strokes long white beard)

YES!!!! GO LADIES!!! My Favourite Nubians! The Bella Twins! Aksana! Alicia Fox! Tamina! AJ Lee! They would all get my majestic member!

Good work by the camera man focussing on AJ Lee’s Bonita Applebum! that goes for Naomi’s badukadunk too!

 

Did you see that wild @$$ triple suplex???? I haven’t seen the guys do that! Hold on – Naomi pinned the Divas champion like – 3 times now??? WTF??? GIVE MY WOMAN A TITLE SHOT AJ! Stop being stingy! The battle of the @$$£$!!!

OH SNAP!!!! JAKE THE SNAKE DEP INNA DE HALL OF FAME!!! He didn’t make it to the rumble… but wrestlers be trippin’ when he throws that muthaf***a in the ring! I would be too! Them things can kill you! One bite and you’ve HAD IT!

HOF Warrior Jake

MAIN EVENT TIME! 6 MAN TAG TEAM JUMP OFF! WINNING TEAM GOES INTO THE CHAMBER!!! Michael Cole just mentioned CM Punk – I noticed we haven’t seen him today! Well bwoy after that chokeslam from my hero Kane he probably hasn’t got up from that! The question remains – does that mean that Kane will be fired from D.O.O.?

Crowd chanting for Roman Reigns! He is an OFFICIAL BAD MAN!!! Yo I loved when Michael Cole read the list of people’s that Reigns eliminated including JAY-BEE, in which Mr Layfield snapped – WILL YOU STOP READING THE STUPID LIST AND CALL THE MATCH!!! That sh!t is funny – JAY-BEE took off his jacket read to fight, Reigns dashed him out, and JAY-BEE put back on his jacket!!! I thought you were a wrestling…. GOD!!!

OH SNAP!!! The Wyatt Bwoy dem come to f**k it up for Cena! But that means they f**ked it up for the Shield to go to the chamber!!! Does this mean that the IWC may finally get the dream wank match that they have been craving for ever since the Wyatt Bwoy stepped on the scene? Could we see a 6-man Elimination Chamber Tag Team war between the Shield and the Wyatts???? It’s only right!!!! You can do it on WWE2K14!!!

Wait, I might be expecting too much then I get bex…. like a lot of these wrestling fools…

 

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

BDSIR Network

The Jobber Blogger #88 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – GENESIS: PART TWO – 23/1/14

Jobber Blogger logo2

The Jobber Blogger comes Whizzing in at 88mph like Marty McFly… only without purpose and motive. To think I’ve managed to whittle on for 88 issues just boggles my mind like those fish with the big eyes. Or boglins.

Boglins

Why don’t we have crazy weird toys anymore, aside from my Marvel Mega Bloks collection (damn you Disney!) I feel strangely non-motivated to collect other types of useless tat. I like useless tat, and believe it or not I will spend good money on it. It’s like anyone whom reads this, spending useless amounts of their time reading my useless tat of a Wrestling Based article!

What isn’t useless tat though is this week’s Impact – the aptly named “Genesis – Part 2” where God thought to himself, Damn, better try harder next time, something about the world being created, a big bang or Mosses. Or combine them all to have Mosses taking the role of Adam and Eve and sailing by himself performing unsanitary acts to himself on a boat before he drowns horribly.

Yup… nothing sets up the following report like a controversial religious slur….. Wrestling!

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – Genesis: Part Two – 23/1/14

Moving swiftly on from last week’s epiphany of eating Sultanas to Write my blog, I tried the same this week only to bite myself, so I suggest everyone reframe from doing so. They should be labelled with a health warning. Once I’m done talking about Wrestling I will be off to Write a Stern Letter to Tesco!

Impact kicked off with Dixie, Spud, Magnus and Dixie’s Lawyer – Creed. Whom fits two roles from The Office U.S, obviously having the name “Creed” and looking surprisingly similar to James Spader.

Creed Spader

This “new investor” Storyline has been kicked up quite a notch, after only being mentioned last week, to having him buying a great deal of shares to be able to sway the company. The nice little nod was to his intentions being “Wrestling Operations”. Which to me is a clear sign that TNA want to move the company back to the Wrestling greatness they once had. But this Investor is already calling the shots and setting up a “Hostile Takeover” – correct me if I’m wrong, but I didn’t think you could buy shares of a Company and then actually control it. I might invest my pennies wisely this month… probably in Tesco and add that Health Warning on the damn sultanas!

Of course I’m still eating them! What else would you have me do?

Magnus, Spud and EC3 made their way to the ring where I can quite honestly say Magnus impressed me on the mic. He’s never been a great talker, but this whole Heel Champion run even if it’s early days, is something he seems to be running with really well. Magnus’ main gripe was about Sting being a “man” and putting his career on the line for one more shot at the World Championship, but with this Investor in place, he managed to gain Sting an advantage by having someone in his corner.

Sting obviously confronts Magnus, a whole load of “I’m a Man” crap and Sell-out rubbish is thrown around, the biggest aspect is that the Crowd have adopted the “Paper Champion” name for Magnus, interesting to see how his home crowd reacts this week, I would cheer…. Personally speaking.

Everything breaks down in a fight, it is Wrestling after all, and we find out Samoa Joe is going to be in Sting’s corner in his Championship match.

Gunner vs. James Storm – #1 Contender Brief Case

It seems the way to win this match is to just get the case and hug it. Taz made reference to it being like “American Football” which if I dig out my old rant Banner – Hugging the case fits perfectly with that idea.

HugBall

I actually expected the crowd to be more into this than they were, quite early on Gunner hit a Top Rope Fall-Away Slam on Storm which didn’t seem to draw much reaction. Storm got more of a response from pulling off a Top Rope Hurricanrana, which took me by surprise, like everyone else.

The ending came with Storm grabbing the Brief Case but Gunner got Storm in an Electric Chair so Gunner elevating Storm to his Shoulders sort of acted like an easier way for Storm to get the case, but then Gunner dropped him backwards with Storm dropping the case. They both did a little crawl on each other type of thing before Gunner just head butted the Cowboy and hugged the Case like his favourite Winnie the Pooh Bear.

Gunner hug pooh

I don’t think I was on my own thinking that this would be the match where Storm turns Heel. But alas, it’s not yet to be. I am somewhat glad Gunner kept the Case, I still think he could do with a little extra before he’s truly “ready” as a Character. I noticed he had a bit of an intro to his music now, though his music still sucks. I like his attire and ring jacket, I just think some crazy camouflage “War-Paint” would be rather cool, let him be scary and intense. Hell, try and get him over like a Soldier type of Ultimate Warrior.

Austin Aries vs. Chris Sabin – X-Division Championship – Velvet in a Cage

While I still don’t get what putting Velvet in a cage proves, surely she could have shown her independence and thus Sabin show his, and her not get involved by I don’t know… not going to the ring with him. But whatever, gimmicks be gimmicks.

What was nice and also terrible at the same time was Velvet’s “Impact 365” where she received a Present from Sabin. What stood out to me was her looking normal, she looks far better without the overdone make-up and trampy clothes. But hey, it’s her career. She decided to do an “Un-boxing” of her present for all of her fans. And within this box was a Teddy Bear (Which we never saw), a Gift Bag (which we never saw) and a Lead Pipe. Did it bug anyone else knowing that all of these items surely couldn’t fit into this one box. That aside, Velvet didn’t seem to know what to do with the Pipe, no that’s not a euphemism.

Velvet brought this big “not cute looking” gift-bag into the Cage with her. Now given the stipulation of this match, and should I be any type of competent official, I might have wanted to know what was in this giant blue bag, given that they check knee pads an all.

The match was good though, and for anyone whom would even Argue that Austin Aries isn’t the best Wrestler going today, then this Match was packed full with proof that he is.

I am actually rather glad that Velvet being locked in a Cage didn’t play more on the match than it did, for Sabin and Aries are capable of putting on a great match, and last year we saw them both steal the show many times. Though it did have a hindrance on the ending, as Sabin went to get the Bag from Velvet, he found within it a Teddy Bear. I might have even been Gunners?

Aries Bear FLy

Still, Aries proceeded to push the bear helplessly down the front of his trunks, an act I found far more offensive than the Christy Hemme stunt. One corner drop-kick and Brain Buster later, Aries won back the X-Division Gold.

I guess at the end of the day, Aries didn’t win cleanly either with Sabin himself being distracted by Velvet… so I’m sure we’ve not seen the last of this. And maybe next time she will just stay out of the match for everyone’s benefit.

The Wolves had their first Promo this week in the shape of a Video Promo. I can’t tell you how excited I am to see these guys in action. I’ve heard good things and having a Tag-Team debut in TNA has been long over-due. I said it in my “Best of TNA” Article that I want a great Tag-Team Division built this year, and in January we have one of the most talked about teams from the Indie Scene come to TNA.

They are heavily linked with this “Investor” Storyline last week saying that they aren’t here for a TNA Try-out match like Dixie thought, but they have been signed by this outside investor. Again, I didn’t know you could do that through Shares? Still, this mystery investor is said to be revealed this week in Glasgow Scotland. The current rumours are its MVP – I hope not, because he sucks. His own self encouraged chant was “Boring”. It could have been Ball-in… but as there was no Ball I decided to go with what just made more sense, and how I was currently feeling.

Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle – Steel Cage Match

Still seems a little silly Kurt needs to be Roode to get into the TNA Hall of Fame. But hey, that’s the stipulation, given that this is going to be seen as Angle’s great victory, it sort of over shadows the last how many times Roode won?

However that isn’t the worst part, Roode seemed to be in a self-mocking mood also as he wore this horrible 90’s (I can’t afford a trench coat) monstrosity to the ring.

Roode new Coat

I get that it’s Wrestling attire, but it looks so awful if it’s not attire or in the least bit stylish. He just looks like he’s come straight to the ring from a quick visit with the nearest Gimp.

Which quite nicely fits with another bad idea I had forgotten about. Kurt Angle has a tattoo! I had totally forgotten about that, though Ten Years ago it looked bad, now it looks like a Dirty Smudge on his Shoulder, like he’s been Wrestling Hardy and his face paint rubbed off.

Angle Tattoo

With all my joking aside, this match was a joy to watch. These days when you get a Cage Match they are usually a disappointment. Over the years they’ve been built up with these huge high spots and obviously not every match is going to have them. Though Hardy and Magnus in Dixie Land was also very good.  But Roode and Angle not only had a match I felt worthy of putting a Scribble next to, to remind myself in almost a year’s time when I write this year’s Best of TNA. But they put on one of the best Cage Matches over the last few years. Which is also great but this match now cements Genesis as having one of those “Must See Matches” like last year’s Triple Threat Main Event.

Angle climbed to the top of Cage after being egged on by the fans and performed his infamous Moonsault. Sure Roode moved out of the way and Angle had a nice bounce upon his landing. To be fair over the years when Angle has done that move before,  and his opponent didn’t move, he barely landed on them anyway. Roode was crawling out of the ring when Angle pulled him back in at the last second.

Roode hit his “Roode Bomb” which still irritates me as a name, for Kurt to kick out. What was more surprising was the awesome Angle Slam from the Top Rope which Roode kicked out off to yet another “flat reaction” from the crowd.

In the end Angle made his way up to the top of the Cage and when Roode realized he crawled his way out of the door, this ended up in a race to the Bottom which Angle won by falling the remaining distance.

If you didn’t watch this match.. correct it. now!

The Bromans with DJ Zema Ion cut a Promo – or better yet, a Bro-Mo. Which I actually found rather funny, they are becoming the best tag team in TNA, specially as Bad Influence have just been doing run-ins rather than anything themselves. Apparently EY and Park have a Title Match with them scheduled for next week. Not sure why, but they do. So EY headed down to the ring to get beaten up when Abyss joined the fight. The interesting note is that Abyss throttled EY till EY convinced him to let go. I like the idea of EY “unleashing the monster” and then not being able to control him. I still think EY should actually become a Mad Scientist, with his attire and gimmick.

I have no idea why Abyss showed up, nothing happened to make Park fully change… it’s all a little bit confusing.

Spud vs. Samoa Joe

With Samoa Joe being picked by Sting to be in his corner, Dixie put him in a Match against Spud. This marks the first singles Match Spud has had in TNA since they were last in the UK. Not to mention his first Singles Match on Impact in the US.

EC3 gave Spud a great pep talk backstage calling him “The British Dream” another idea I hope they run with. It ended with Spud roaring like a lion trying to get himself fired up.

Spud easily steals every backstage segment and almost every segment he is in. With Dixie saying he shouldn’t worry about facing Joe, as Spud won the British Boot-Camp he quickly added “yeah, by beating two girls!” which at once was highly amusing and a good slap in the face to Party Marty Scurll.

In terms of good promos though, Joe is one of the best, and tonight that was no different, coming at Spud with a fierce intent. The match was over as quickly as it started with Spud getting a few moves but over all Joe dominating the match. Muscle Buster straight to Submission Victory.

Sting (w/ Samoa Joe) vs. Magnus – No DQ – World Heavyweight Championship vs. Contract

Sting and Magnus had a little back and forth, but obviously the main part of the match didn’t kick off until Dixie showed up with EC3. Then it was an all out war between Sting, Joe and Magnus, EC3, Spud, Bad Influence, Zema Ion and Bobby Roode.

Clearly this was the match that got peoples interest as Genesis Part Two had the highest TV Ratings Impact  has had in over a year.

Sting battled on, but at every turn he was met with another obstacle. Until of course Magnus dropped him with the Driver and Dixie forced Earl Hebner to count the three.

Magnus held his Championship up high and tore Sting’s contract up in front of him.

I suppose the big question is what happens now, clearly this Investor Story is going to bring Sting back, and Jeff Hardy, and probably, let’s be honest, AJ Styles.

Now this could turn out to be Jeff Jarrett and his new promotion, or linked to it, with this Investor changing things in TNA and pulling power away from Dixie. Or Jeff Jarrett could have literally left the company.

Who knows.

What I do know though is that it’s exciting. Even if it is MVP revealed next week, I look forward to where this Story is going, the aftermath of Sting “leaving” TNA and the Wolves’ in-ring debut.

For us lucky enough to live in the UK – Challenge will Air this week’s Impact from Glasgow LIVE as it happens, before anywhere else!

So tune in!

Till Then,

Dan Wilkinson.

www.TheSteelChair.com

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

 http://striketapandgrapple.com

http://www.cageamateursuk.com

The Jobber Blogger #87 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – GENESIS – 16/1/14

January 19, 2014 by DiVineDiablo

 

Jobber Blogger logo2

Could Sultana’s and Coffee be the next Trend when it comes to Writing Weekly Wrestling blogs? Obviously I don’t have them swimming in Coffee, it’s a bowl of Sultana’s and a Mug of Coffee in my lovely Rare – Big Boy Bloater Mug.

bigboybloater

So TNA bring their first “Televised Special” in 2014 and it’s so Special it’s running for Two Weeks. Which has happened before, but then they just sort of had the same name the week after and didn’t actually Plug that the show continued. However they added to Genesis and pushed some matches back to next week, in what I assume is a Taped show in Huntsville and then it’s straight to the UK!

If anything this week’s show does more to clarify the recent happenings and rumours, and that those whom dare to Theorise outside of the box, it seems we might just be correct.

To get a great insight to what this Theory might be, well then, head on over to TheSteelChair.com and read my Article!

TNARumourMill

 Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – GENESIS – 16/1/14

As I put my now empty bowl of Sultanas in for a good old washing, Genesis kicked off with the sad news of Mae Young – after her recent passing. Recent passing might sound a tad insulting, though it was reported she had died previously which was obviously not the case.

Mae Young will leave her stamp on Wrestling for all time, and I know I’ll never forget the events from the Royal Rumble in 2000 that have been burnt into my mind forever and no amount of Soap can ever clear that stain.

Rest in Peace.

Spud kicked off Impact, but actually it was Dixie, Spud merely just introduced her. But alas, Spud’s charms shine through and the more he has time to be on the Air and be himself, especially when interacting with the Audience, the more it’s quite obvious Spud can be someone very special used within his current role.

He’s the type of guy who can at once have Fans, and even those Fans hate him!

spudboo

Dixie pretty much just wanted to rattle on about how AJ is in the position he is because he “Crossed the Boss” and in turn has ended up at the Start of his Career – Ring of Honour. She did emphasis that this “Story is Over!” which to me says it’s not, and that her trying to tell you it is, will get those un-schooled Wrestling fans to nod and agree.

It’s like those Russian Dolls now that Dixie is in charge, Spud introduces Dixie, Dixie introduces Magnus, it’s a whole running gimmick, only the wrong way round size wise:

dixiedolls

I can’t tell if Magnus’ rant was legit or not, for he certainly must have a little bit of a gripe for him being in the best position of his Career yet being over-shadowed by someone “who might not even work for the company anymore”. “We can finally put this Petty, unnecessary business behind us” – “out with the old, in with the new”. Everything they say obviously stirs more chances of AJ coming back to TNA. Perhaps he will win the belt back from Magnus and leave taking it to Jarrett’s new company?

A whole load of Blah Blah Blag sheep later and Magnus gave Dixie AJ’s old World Championship for she is the “Champion of our Hearts!” – not mine, that still belongs to Spider-Man!

heartspidey

I love you too!

Dixie then brought out those who have United her TNA: Wrestling – The Bromans with Zema Ion, Bad Influence, Bobby Roode, Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa – bringing about the Genesis of Dixie Carters – TNA!

EC3 makes his way down to the ring when all of a sudden the lights went down and Sting popped up at the back of the Arena and the whole atmosphere was terrific. Just now you can see and feel the early stages of their inevitable pay-off – Sting saying “this is a House Divided!” and that in the end everything Dixie is doing will bring the Company “tumbling down!”.

Sting leads Joseph Park – Eric Young, Samoa Joe, Storm – Gunner and ODB to the ring to do battle against Dixie’s TNA. So yes, it’s another Faction thing, but at least it’s more interesting this time around, certainly when Jarrett’s company gets up and running. The whole “fight” as you’d expect, leads to a lovely impromptu 12-Man Tag!

The Bromans, Zema Ion, Bad Influence and Lei’D Tapa vs. Eric Young, Joseph Park, James Storm, Gunner, Samoa Joe and ODB – 12Man Tag

Huntsville Alabama is also a return Home for the first ever TNA Show was held in the very same Arena 8 years ago. So it’s quite a neat thing, probably no mistake either, as this whole Re-Branding of TNA is to undo the errors, and mesh the new with the old, and everything that made TNA great.

Speaking of Great, ODB lifted Zema Ion to deliver an Awesome Fall-Away Slam, but more Awesome was Lei’D Tapa just running her Down straight after. Tapa was presented ever so well in this match, and that’s just letting her be impactful and strong, clearly having Gail helping Tapa win defeats all of that. Though I just had another Theory about that too! More on that later should I remember! If not… then tough I guess?

The ending of this chaotic but awesome match to start the show was Kaz who ended up busting open Park’s lip, sending him into Abyss mode, which for the first time showed he is not in control. As he not only took out Bad Influence and Zema, but also dropped Gunner and Storm. So if they continue to play on that, that would be cool.

I still think a slow progression of Joseph Park would be great, it looks like his hair is slightly longer, I think if he just started looking rougher and rougher would be pretty awesome. Have little things like him being seduced by the Abyss Mask – and Janice – little things that seem to take away his “Human” side. Although maybe they’re trying to build Team TNA Old School like The Avengers and he be their Hulk… so that could easily suck?

Park Hulk

Samoa Joe then locked on his Choke to Daniels to pick up the Submission Win. In fact, Joe was on fire in this match, and clearly he would be right behind AJ Styles should TNA head old school in terms of who to push to the top.

Chris Sabin – Velvet Sky and Austin Aries have entered into this weird Triangle of… something.

Sabin caught Velvet and Aries talking backstage, to which of course he was upset about and decided to air it in the ring… as you do. Aries didn’t miss any opportunity to compliment Velvet… albeit in a very derogative insulting – slutty esk nature… but she seemed to like it,… so that says a lot.

Though the point of it all was that Velvet is sick of how Sabin has been treating her, and that to prove this, Aries challenges Sabin to an X-Division Championship where Velvet doesn’t get involved.

And to achieve this, she is going to be locked in a Cage at Ring-Side. Sure we’ve seen this before.. but the sensible part of my thinking just wants to slap itself. Surely if Velvet didn’t want to get involved… she just wouldn’t. You know.. being an individual an all. Though of course, she could mean that she doesn’t want Sabin to hide behind her or pull her in the ring… in which case… she could just not go to the ring with him. But no, we’re going to get probably a good match, which will no doubt be ruined with a silly gimmick like.. oh I don’t know, hanging a Woman in a Cage.

Also if Sabin wants to stay with her, then now he needs to Win. So Shallowness galore! Wrestling solves all problems. If only the Jeremy Kyle show was decided with such actions. My mother threw me out the window as a Child – Tables Match. I’m dating a slut and I don’t think the kids are mine, need a blood sample – First Blood Match. My Boyfriends an idiot – Buried Alive Match.

Now that’s television!

Samuel Shaw had a nice little showing backstage this week, I apologise for not remember the guys name, but backstage agent, compliments Shaw on his match and tells him not to stare at Christy. So Shaw pushed him on the floor and attacked him with his shoe. Though we couldn’t see the actual ramifications of Shaw’s actions, we did see him pummelling something rather hard. A lovely bit of blood splatter flying up or dripping off the shoe would have been a treat. But with Sons of Anarchy now gone in TNA and Dexter working its way in. I’m still hoping for the Breaking Bad involvement, maybe Sting goes crazy and decides to get his way back into TNA is to produce the best quality counterfeit merchandise with his trusty side-kick – Eric Young?

Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson – No DQ

Something about Bully seems off, I like his new direction, though yet again, letting Bully be Bully is far better than Bully being Scripted into a Bad-Guy role. He just being himself makes you want to hate him, but for all the right reasons. Bully being Written as a Bad-Guy with a gimmick doesn’t work to his full potential. However, I am enjoyed seeing where all this is going, I just think an Attire Change and Music Change might be needed?

Speaking of Attire change, Mr. Anderson is sticking with the full tights, only now they look better having his Skull Mic logo on them.

I don’t know quite what this match was supposed to achieve, other than just being brutal fun. They both took it in turns to throw themselves on a Guard Rail like kids on a trampoline showing off… only more grown up… and more stupid.

BullyMum

Anderson dropped Bully through a Table with his patented Shoulder Roll thingy, the less dangerous – Green Bay Plunge. Still, awesome using the move with a Table.

Bully brought out the Lighter Fluid and after mocking Anderson’s newly born Twins, Anderson dropped him with a Mic Check, and proceeded to cover a Table with Lighter Fluid before Bully hit him with a Low-Blow and a horrible looking Pile-Driver for the win.

I’m starting to wish they would stop with the Pile-Drivers now, that one looked rather bad.

Kurt Angle headed to the ring, this after his crazed mission of trying to find Al Snow backstage from last week’s “Family Emergence” when they rushed him away from the Arena.

Kurt finally found Snow who said nothing, but when on about his Job etc. More facts that Jeff Jarrett’s leaving is Storyline, because it is Al Snow who took his Job, and now look! See, it all fits!

Kurt called out Dixie Carter for an explanation of her actions, Dixie merely said that she was saving Kurt from himself. For Kurt would have backed AJ and Sting and she didn’t want him to suffer for that decision.

With he and Roode’s Cage-Match being pushed to next week for Kurt to calm down, he stated he would be at Sting’s side against EC3 tonight, and he doesn’t care what Dixie does. Quite simply he begged her to Fire him, so I am guessing Kurt will be getting fired sooner or later, then turn up with AJ, Hardy, Sting with Jarrett. See!?

In the end Bobby Roode attacked Kurt from behind and dropped him with his Death Valley Driver – Cutter move he has been using of late. An awesome Move I have been begging him to Name for weeks now, and what is it called…. The Roode Bomb. The freakin’ Roode Bomb! It’s not even a Bomb. Death Cutter? Roode Driver?  Billy Bob’s Tuck n’ Drop? Lift Dip and take a Sh*t? Roode Bomb!? I demand a re-count!

Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim – Knockouts Championship

 

Before the match Madison was being interviewed, when Lei’D Tapa confronted her, but more importantly, I am sure Tapa tripped, probably on her skirt, but alas she managed to stay in character and maintain her presence. Then she and Gail beat up Madison backstage.

This wasn’t the last time Tapa got involved as she lifted Madison in the air and chocked her violently in front of the Ref before she was sent to the back.

The end came with Gail running full force to the Corner only to have Madison elevate her and throw her backwards, then to drop Gail with her Finisher, which I don’t remember the name of. Hell, I looked away at this point then heard the Three Count, and I was shocked it was over so quick.

The crowd didn’t even seem to recognise that Madison hit a finishing move, it was dead silence, and then she won. Hey, it’s awesome to have Madison back, but Gail shouldn’t have been defeated so easily. Not after her battles with Taryn Terrell, on to Mickie James, through ODB, and then Open Challenge, to then lose to Madison, who I like.. .but she’s not that good.

The only solace now is that Lei’D Tapa probably won’t protect Gail anymore as she lost the belt, and Tapa could turn on Gail, putting her next in line against Madison. That was my theory from earlier on if you’re interested.

Though never the less, it’s nice to see Madison back and holding the Knockout Championship, and can you honestly say you’ve seen a more Purely Happy face than this after Winning the Gold for a Fourth Time!?

Madison happy face

  

 

This Promo video should get you exited! And I’m sure it’s true! TNA is issuing in a new Era of Wrestling and they are doing things no other company has done before, even if you don’t like them. And if this Jeff Jarrett story thing company invasion merger whats-it is true, then it’s going to be Huge!

Speaking of new Era, Dixie was backstage with the new Talent coming to Genesis – The Wolves, who have been making the rounds on the internet for some time. Davey Richards and that guy I forget. Though their Promo skill might need some work, I am happy TNA has actually brought in an actual Tag-Team. More interestingly Dixie brought them in for a Try-Out and they said they had their Try-Out and signed their contracts to which Dixie finds this “New TNA Investor”.

So that’s interesting too!

Ethan Carter the third vs. Sting – Special Guest Referee – Spud

The match was pretty much Spud stopping Sting from doing anything, and then letting EC3 get away with everything.

Till in the end Spud locked on the Death-Lock and Spud just jumped on Sting’s back, being thrown around like a Rag-Doll as he clumsily kicked EC3.

Sting then dropped EC3 with the Death-Drop and literally grabbed Spud’s hand to make him count when Magnus pulled Spud out of the ring, and took off his shirt to show that he is now the Referee.

EC3 rolled up Sting and Magnus fast counted him leaving EC3 the Winner.

The main reason behind this match, clearly, as because Sting and EC3 did very little to do anything really. Is that String then challenged Magnus to prove himself, and put the World Championship on the line against Sting.

And Magnus agrees to, because it’s Contract Season, and Magnus doesn’t want Dixie to re-sign Sting, so it’s now Championship vs. Contract next week.

I will admit, the Title on the line bugs me a little, because obviously Sting accepted the conditions to never Wrestle for it again. Now if Sting Won that Gauntlet and got into Dixie’s Tournament and Won that, then I would think that seems a little more deserving. But for him to say “I will never do this again” and then also say “Hey, let me do this again” and get away with it. That seems a little dumb.

However, if they played it as Sting could not Wear the Title, yet he could Wrestle Magnus for the Belt, and if Sting won, then it would Vacate the Title. Now that makes sense. But obviously he just can’t pick someone, so I think if Sting won, and Magnus lost the belt, Sting could then have the power to put Magnus in a Gauntlet against say Three Opponents whom Sting picks. Magnus runs the Gauntlet, he gets the belt back, but if he loses to any of the Three, they become Champion. Clearly it doesn’t matter for Sting won’t win and then he will be gone from TNA.

Which will make Jeff Hardy, AJ Styles, Sting gone from TNA, throw in Kurt Angle probably soon to be fired, Samoa Joe, and you’ve got quite a Roster heading to Jeff Jarrett’s new Company.

It all makes sense and is coming together nicely!

Till then we have Genesis part Two Next week:

Austin Aries vs. Chris Sabin – X-Division Championship

Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle – Steel Cage Match

James Storm vs. Gunner – World Championship Shot – Briefcase

Sting vs. Magnus – Championship vs. Contract

Dan Wilkinson.

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

 

 

Monday Night Raw #1078: January 20, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

 

Grant Luther King also has a dream: That one day, a black man can become World Wrestling Federation Champion without having to resort to a corny @$$ gimmick!!!

I watched the 50 Years of WWE DVD earlier before this weeks Raw jumps off, and the McMahon family have achieved so much greatness. But in that 50 years, we have had great champions… but not one (unless you count The Rock) Afro-American wrestler has made it to WWE’s biggest prize. Yes you can talk about the World Heavyweight Title and it’s prestige and the black guys that have held it… but we talking WWE here, the pinnacle of sports entertainment. To interpolate from Chris Rock: Is the wrestling world ready for a black champion? Well we should be! We’ve just had a whining one!!! (Randy Orton)

Talking of champions… awaiting the return of the Animal Batista! Bertie time to back up your sh!t! Royal Rumble cometh! RAW #1078! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!

WWF PROPA TINGZHow ironic that they show black icons in life such as Muhammad Ali and Barack Obama with the MLK speech, #IHAVEADREAM in the top left corner… and yet they cannot show a black WWE champion…. SMH!!!

Triple Teef wasting  no time in introducing and welcoming back Batista!!!! RECORD SKIP!! But you don’t look like Batista…. RANDALL ORTON??!!! Now this man wants to cuss down the authority… good thing Stephanie shut him down one time when he boxed down John Cena daddy for no reason!!!

And I say YEAAAAAAAAAHHH! I WALK ALONE INSIDE THIS PIT OF DANGER!!! BAAAAAAATISTA IS BACK MUTHAF****A!!!!

Did you hear that female fan??? ‘I LOVE YOU BATISTA!!!’ The question remains: Will The RZA be a guest at WrestleMania supporting his friend?

Shout out to Mark Henry as well! THATS WHAT I DO!

Batista come for one thing: the WWE World Heavyweight Championship! He vows to win the Rumble! I love Batista – he’s my good Wu-Tang friend but that honor belongs to Daniel Bryan! Unless of course the bell has tolled for him…

Near enough every week a different set of guys take on The Shield… I gotta ask: Are anybody afraid of these guys anymore????

Unlucky Big E Langston, This time the Shield kicked in the door waved in the 4-4 on your @$$! But imagine the rumble and the Shield all up in there??? 3 mans – 1 unit – mans are in trouble!!!!

YES! YES! YES! Daniel Bryan is about to explain himself!!! He doesn’t look like he had a concussion to me!!!! You wrestling dorks read too dyam much! Can’t get off your fat @$$£$ and specsavers have to make specially made glasses because your head and chin bone too big!

Hold up – did I hear right??? Did Daniel Bryan just say that he wants Bray Wyatt one on one at the Rumble???? Er what about the Royal Rumble match??? What about WrestleMania???? Er Danny you may have to re-think this!! Now Wyatt calls Danny a traitor… I LOVE THIS!!

Royal Rumble 2014 Hogshead2

DAMN! My boy Xavier Woods lost to Fandango in quiktime! Forget about that – that’s not the first time NXT diva ‘Emma’ is spotted in the audience???!!! I’m saying hmmmmm….

Oh mayyyyn! My hero Kane has gotta apologise to CM Punk for chokeslamming him for no reason on Smackdown… why have I got this feeling that CM Punk will reply with ‘You’re forgiven’ with a GTS??? HMMMM… the plot thickens!

Er… I just saw the footage… ok I understand now! I think Kane was within his rights to chokeslam CM Punk!!!

I knew CM Punk was gonna attack my hero like that! Kane ready to back off jacket?!!! That idiot Brad Maddox shuts all that down and now Billy Gunn is fighting the self-proclaimed Best Inna De Wurl!!!

NOW I GET IT!!! That’s how CM Punk is gonna be eliminated out the Rumble! My hero Kane might be a surprise entrant and eliminate him! Either that or a distraction of some kind!

Hold up – RECORD SKIP!!! New Age Outlaws to take on The Rhodes Brudda for the Tag Team titles at the Rumble???? Is that what I heard???? I don’t think the Usos mind… particularly Jimmy (or is it Jey)… who just married that sexy @$$ Naomi!!! YOU SIR ARE A LUCKY MAN!

naomi-jimmy-uso-wedding

OH SNAP!!!! Upon Punk’s victory over Billy Gunn, my hero Kane comes back out, gathers his thoughts, uses emotional content and says this – ‘HA! You say you ah de BEST INNA DE WURL, well you is #1 inna de rumble you liccle blodclart!!!!’ Hey! HBShizzle did it! And I think Chris Benoit did it as well! (If it wasn’t #1 it was #2… ) it’s not impossible!!! IT CAN BE DONE!

WHAT? 2 Chainz & Wiz Khafila got the official theme song for the Royal Rumble? F**K THAT – The Smack Talk Centre got the official theme! And it goes something like this…

 

Big ups to Johnnie Mae Young… great touching video tribute… she was a hottie back in the day as well! NOT BAD!!! LIVE ON LIVE LONG… THANK YOU FOR THE JOKES! What was kinda sad, was that at the Hall Of Fame ceremony, she said that she would be in a WWE ring at age 100… and you know she meant that sh!t!

 

Rubber match contest between Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio… will we see Batista come out again??? Will we see the doodoo come down Bertie’s leg?

I think Bertie got this on lock… working on the bad arm of Rey Mysterio… Bertie just end the match…. and don’t go overboard! I’m jussayin…

…AND I SAY YEAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! LOOK WHO’S BACK!!!!! Bertie yuh goose cook!!!!! Talk sh!t now!!! BATISTA BOMB – BLAOW!!!!!!!

Why have I got that feeling that Bertie will take Batista out the Royal Rumble game?????? Remember I told ya!!!

Hold up – Big Show calls out Brock Les- no sorry – BRRRROCCCCK LESSSNAR and the man walks to the ring only to make a U-turn??? Gotta be mind games surely!

Oh hang on… he ‘s back… here we go!!!! BRING THE RUCKUS!!! Brock manhandled AGAIN!!! This is crazy!!!! I don’t know who to back on this one! I love both guys! I do have a theory though of how it’s going down…

Oh yes!!!! AJ Lee & Tamina in the hizhouse! Funkadactyls in the hizhouse!

SAM_2527Naomi you’re married now but you’re still my favourite Nubian! If Jimmy treats you wrong… Private message me at @MZATheInfamous on twitter!!! Now Bad News Barrett is too outta order and bright!!! How can he say that no one likes AJ???? Has he checked her twitter???? I don’t think he has!

God Dayum I love Naomi’s fighting style!!! Until of course she ran into Tamina’s big boot….

So w’happen, Naomi pins the divas champion twice??? Uh-oh!!! Is AJ’s time as the longest reigning Divas champion of this generation numbered? She’s made it past half the days that CM Punk reigned!!! (218 days at time of this publication)

Is it me? Or does the Uso shirts remind me a bit of the Hardy Boyz????

Is it me? Or does Jimmy have a bit of a spring in his step when he came down to the ring????? (I WOULD!!! WOULD YOU???!!!!)

These guys are dancing and all that… knowing that they are fighting the Wyatt Family dem??? That is the power of the pum-pum right there! Yes I’m talking Naomi’s pum-pum!!!! In Total Divas terms… Naomi married off, Natalya married off, Eva Marie engaged, Brie not far away from being married, Nikki still a single slu- er I mean woman!

Dammn!!! when One of the Uso brudda climbed the top ropes, the Wyatt bwoy pushed him off, landing into the barricade – BLAOW!!! Ha! Bray had to stand and applaud! He loved that sh!t!!!!

OH SNAP!!! Bray talking too much cryptic sh!t! Daniel Bryan assaulting Bray Wyatt! Costing his jabroni friends the match against the Usos! Naomi in the family, a win over the Wyatts, the Usos must be bumpin Ice Cube in their whip!

“I felt on the big fat fanny

I bet that was what Jimmy was thinking!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

So then, the main event… Randall Orton Vs…. Kofi Kingston??!!!!! And this man is a ‘jobber’ Joe Gillam of the STC????? GET IN THE CHAIR!!!!!

Look at Kofi!!! Coming with that ruthless aggression!!! Fist and Fire all over Randall! He should be fighting for the title dammit! But I understand though… as Mike Knoxxx says: #WrestlingIsStoryline!!! Stay calm Kofi! I believe you can win!

HERE COMES CENA!!!! Rushing the arena!!! Er NICE SHIRT! He must have picked it up on the way back from the hospital where his daddy at! Fighting Randall all over the arena! Kofi can get his cheque now!

But Randall took foot and run! Jumped in a car… in the passenger seat??? So Randall has an accomplice??? Maybe the wrestling fan in me is reading into it a bit too much…. Did Randall do ‘what was right as according to the Authoritaah???

Ok gotta go, maintain my good looks, get behind the camera, make my Royal Rumble predictions, go into the booth with my ninjaz Y2JAY, Shadfather & Icy Fresh for the BDSIR Network STC From The UK, then I shall see you all Sunday for the Royal Rumble! Hogshead Wolverhampton! Be there or be a Jeremy Kyle Jabroni! I’M OUT!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Jobber Blogger #86 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 9/1/13

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The Jobber Blogger

Well I think it’s safe to say Writing these blogs are a pain in my ass! And trust me, I’ve multiple related Ass-Pains over my life. What was my last Ass-Pain you say? How about slaving over a 6’500 Word Article on the Best of TNA Wrestling to get one Comment! ONE! Sure it’s an awesome comment and I humbled, I beat my original record, and last year’s Blog got One Comment also.. but that one was negative. So a Hearty “Up Yours” to that guy! I’ve improved!

I did plan on my opening Paragraph to be entirely Wrestling based, and it kind of was. So let’s say this, TNA close out the year 2013 in awesome fashion! WHAT?! Yes, we all know this episode was filmed weeks ago, and it only just aired now. HOWEVER! It Was Immense!

Immense is a word I barely use. And speaking of barely anything, I just realized I’ve completely moved on from what I was originally going to Write about, to drift into something else, to then forget to Write about that and eventually come back on the rails to the ending of the first thing I forgot.

WRESTLING!

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 9/1/13

Yes, all of the above is indeed Irrelevant, but what is an Elephant is that TNA put on one hell of a show and it showed in the Ratings as they smashed the ratings getting the best viewership they’ve had in months. Which just kind of sucks because I’m sure it had all to do with AJ coming back, and now he’s gone, so that was the end of it. But it does show that their plan is working.

But what made this show special Mr. Blogger, well sit right there Timmy you over eager bastard, and I’ll tell you!

Dixie kicked off Impact by bringing out AJ’s final TNA contract, the Contract for “one more match” and then that’s it. AJ with his Phenomenal music and all came down to the ring, it’s a little bit gay (yes, gay, used the in the most correct of circumstances) that he didn’t just play “Evil Ways” for the entirety of his entrance, but as they say… “fish on a flop.”

The whole segment was Dixie enforcing her role not allowing AJ to speak, changing the match to a No Disqualification and declaring “I will never rest till I don’t have to see your face again”. With AJ’s best efforts to say there are guys in the back who hate her as much as he does, Dixie stated they won’t help him as she owns them too. But one phrase I thought was rather “nifty” again the correct use of the word, is that AJ claims the TNA World Championship has never gotten more respect since he took it away from Dixie Carter.

Everything from Dixie not having a Clue as to running a Wrestling Company throwing every single bit of Negativity TNA has garnished in its entirety back at her. The whole thing is just like a recent “Shoot” AJ has done:

I have my own ideas as to how this is all going to play out. TNA has been criticised for years, and they’ve taken everything thrown at Dixie and made her a heel because of it. That is her accepting to it and taking the heat from it. AJ leaves, Jeff leaves, maybe even Sting, Joe, Storm, you name it. Jarrett sets up a new company, TNA originals (and favourites) jump ship, Dixie continues to bury TNA till they both face each other again. They can blend the lines, it’s a whole re-brand – re-start for TNA I’m sure of it. Everything from the Six-Sided Ring to going back to that style of Wrestling, they can pull in the old audience and a new audience and do something that has never been done before. What else would all of this be?

Either way, Magnus and AJ had a good face off in the ring, and it pleases me to actually say that. I’ve always liked Magnus, and AJ, but neither have been great on the mic, and they both were. They made it feel like a huge match, with huge potential and high risks. So well done!

Eric Young and Joseph Park vs. The Bromans (w/ DJ Zema Ion)

Dixie had a flurry of backstage segments “motivating the staff” like Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa as well as The Bromans, though Robbie E did seem a little unwilling.

Isn’t it great to have EY back on every show, I do wish he went back to his old crazy attire rather than the Wrestling attire, or a new “scientist” attire would be pretty good.

The match was cut short with Gail and Tapa beating down on ODB in the back, this of course led to EY running to her aid and leaving Park at the hands of The Bromans. I am still confused this whole “Abyss is back!” from the Monsters Ball means… he’s not back at all. And in fact, not even been Abyss at all, he did nothing against Bully and got his ass kicked against The Bromans.

I still can’t emphasize just how much I love Zema Ion in his current role, it’s genius and cracks me up every time, I can’t get enough of it. And in the end The Bromans hit the “Bro-Down” on Park and won the match. Then proceeded to take apart the Guard Rail and bring that in the ring to repeat the move, “injuring” Park and taking him out of action for the remainder of the night.

 James Storm hits the ring and calls out Gunner, claiming he’s been a part of some of the best Tag-Teams in TNA and in the Wrestling Business altogether, but one thing tears them apart better than anything else, and that’s the World Championship.

The thing I like about this, is that Storm has reasons to be annoyed, playing the face, whilst Gunner is actually the one in the right but portrayed as the Heel. It’s awesome like the clever idea of turning CM Punk Heel against Jeff Hardy, it was so well done, that the fans literally turned him Heel by doing the same thing he would have done anyway, just Jeff’s star power as a face is what turned the fans.

Storm and Gunner shook hands for “one more match” with the World Championship shot on the line, hanging the Case back up. So I fully expect Storm to stoop to Bobby Roode level of success or “Beer Bottle” to defeat Gunner. Bridging the gap for a potential Beer-Money reunion! Oh Please let that happen!

Samoa Joe vs. Ethan Carter the third

Joe got in Dixie’s face about her treatment of AJ, and her desire to rid him from the company. So in return he got in a match against EC3. EC3 however jumped Joe backstage already wearing him down before the match got underway.

Just like EY and Park before, Spud got involved, which lured Joe out to attack Spud, and also like Zema beforehand, Spud is doing an amazing job.

The distracting led to EC3 hitting Joe in the leg with a Wrench injuring his knee and the match being thrown out.

Joe was then advised by medicals to leave the arena.

After this show, if anyone thinks AJ’s leaving still isn’t a work, they’re crazy.

Kurt Angle vs. Bad Influence – Steel Cage Match

In preparation for next week’s battle against Roode, Angle laid out an open challenge. Which was met by Bobby Roode bringing down fellow EGO team mates Kazarian and Daniels to do battle with Angle.

I don’t get why Steel Cage matches have the pull that they do. If these led to TNA’s viewership this week, then what’s going on with that?

Though the match wasn’t too bad, usual run of the mill Cage Match really, which also led to this funny picture:

my name is kurt angle

Angle pulled off the second rope German Suplex, with Kaz “moon-saulting” down onto Daniels, then getting Angle Slammed and Kurt picks up the Win.

Soon after however, Angle was posing for a Photo Shoot then Al Snow pulled up and shouted Kurt to get into the Car, it’s an emergency and he needs to get him out of here and to an airport. Which is super interesting, Al Snow has just taken Jeff Jarrett’s role backstage, and now it seems he’s in cahoots with Dixie and gets Angle out of the way. More reason not to believe Jarrett isn’t in on all of this thing as well, it makes sense. And clearly is that way already in Storylines.

Bobby Roode vs. Sting – Steel Cage Match

Backstage Sting found both James Storm and Gunner knocked out from Beer Bottle shots, and that is when he decided to get in the face of Dixie also, “what happened to you?” So this is his punishment for doing so.

Bobby Roode on the other hand is aligning himself with Dixie, and this is his way to prove that. So I like the faction that’s building, clearly they can’t run all of the “good guys” out of TNA and make it a pure Heel show, though that would also be pretty neat.

Given that not so long ago Roode got praise from The Rock, it seems he has taken that to heart as he has been working on development the old “Rock Flip”. After taking certain moves Roode is starting to flip and flop around the ring like Rock used to. Is that insightful Wrestling journalism?

Sting locked on the Death-Lock when EC3 and Spud ran to Roode’s aid, EC3 distracted Sting as he climbed up the Cage as Spud threw a “Baton” to Roode, who then used it to beat down The Icon and escape the Cage.

A weird “turn of events” on Impact was Anderson and Bully Ray’s confrontation. Anderson determined to put an end to it went back to the Church that held the “Funeral” for The Aces and Eights. Which is also where he found Bully, sat at the back. Bully did the more “biblical” type of speech thing once more as the weird music played out again. Everything from Anderson taking the Colour’s from him to trying to set Anderson on fire last week.

Bully apparently left Anderson a “present” in the Coffin, which I believe was some type of White Clothing or something, not quite sure. Then “dun dun dunnnn!” Bully had left as Anderson turned back around.

Don’t know what on earth they are trying to do with Bully, but I don’t hate it, and I’m actually rather anxious to see where it all goes.

Speaking of where things go, next week is Genesis, the first Special “PPV” of the Year and it’s packing the following:

Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle – Steel Cage Match – If Angle doesn’t win, he can never be inducted into TNA Hall of Fame

Sting vs. Ethan Carter the third

Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim – Knockouts Championship

Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray

I’m hoping Anderson and Bully might get to Main Event again, though it will probably go to Roode and Angle. Still, it looks interesting and I can’t wait to see how everything plays out, especially in the aftermath of this week’s show.

AJ Styles vs. Magnus – Undisputed TNA: World Heavyweight Champion

While people want to blab on about this is what WWE did with CM Punk, and they’re right. However I think TNA as using that formula and taking it one step further.

To say this was a match, is crazy, it’s an all out battle with chaotic…ness.

Magnus “tweaked” his Knee getting out of the ring, apparently, but unlike the usual match where you know people are going to run in, you have the usual “match” then something big happens where they’re both down, or the ref is taking out, and then someone gets involved. Nope, none of that crap, we know all along Dixie is going to try and screw AJ at every turn, and it’s right off the Bell.

EC3 and Spud hit the ring in no time attacking AJ, which is when Sting comes out to his aid.

Now Sting went crazy again backstage at Dixie after his Match with Roode, but Dixie wanted Sting to know that if she wanted him “taken out” he would be, rather it was a message, and she wants him on her side (Which would be really interesting actually). Instead Sting came out to help AJ.

The Bromans and Zema then hit the ring taking out Sting. AJ managed to mount some offense back but Bad Influence then took out AJ right away.

Magnus jumped in ready for the Count but Earl refused to count the three. Even pushing Spud around as he does. So as Earl leaves, Dixie brings Brian Hebner to the ring.

AJ again fights back, throwing Zema out of the ring right on top of the Camera man, which was pretty awesome actually.

AJ then locked on the Calf Killer to Magnus then Kaz takes out Brian Hebner so no Ref to see Magnus tap.

Sting takes out Bad Influence, AJ hits the Styles Clash on Magnus but no Ref. So Earl Hebner comes running back out to count, Spud does this awesome “pathetic” dive to stop Earl which was hilarious.

Everything was all over the place, and totally fantastic. AJ did this great Dive over the ropes taking nearly everyone out. In the end it was Bobby Roode who pushed AJ off of the Top Rope then hit his Death Valley Cutter thing Three Times on AJ before Magnus went for the Pin.

Dixie dragged down Referee Stiffler I believe, who then counted the Three, leaving Magnus as the Undisputed World Champion, and AJ had no chance whatsoever to win.

So what does all of this mean? I’m pretty sure it means AJ is not done in TNA. If he truly felt the way he did, of course he wouldn’t have gone through with a Match like that. This match screams “STORYLINE” and “ITS NOT OVER!”

It’s just beginning whatever it is, and it was an awesome show. I love random craziness and unpredictable out of control shows. It’s what The Aces and Eights should have been like. I am sure all of this is connected, and I can’t wait to see how this all plays out next week and for the following Weeks. Nor can I wait to see what the “Main Goal” of it all is either, but I’m sure it will all fall into place, and be something rather special.

Till then, we’ve got Genesis next week!

Dan Wilkinson.

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TNR Cover 12

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Monday Night Raw #1077: January 13, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

What a week in wrestling last week eh??!!!!

Too Cool & Rikishi have STILL GOT IT.

DDP & Booker T acting a fool before getting caught by Ron Simmons…

Roddy Piper standing up to The Shield.

The entire wrestling world in absolute shock when Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts music hit and he came through the curtain.

Surely WWE can forgive Dean Ambrose for marking out when Jake threw ‘Damien’ on him???

Mae Young trolling the wrestling fans… “R.I.P. Mae Young….” (I’m still here muthaf***az!!! And I’ll get my ‘puppies’ out one more time if I see another FB status saying that sh!t!)

The WWE Network has now been announced… and THE GRANT SAYS THIS: those who are NOT sending for it DOES NOT have a VALID reason, and is NOT a TRUE WRESTLING FAN. You are no longer entitled to say sh!t when someone becomes WWE Undisputed Champion…Us crazy folk in the UK gotta wait til early 2015!

Anyone would think it was my birthday… OH SNAP!!!!!!

I don’ expect this weeks Raw to top last week… but you’ll never know. RAW #1077! HOLD ‘DAT  – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZIs this how it goes down in the streets??? The Usos Vs Daniel Bry- er I mean Danny Wyatt and Bray Wyatt to jump off the show? I approve this intro!

Shout out to Jerry Lawler who is back in effect this week on commentary! Wearing his old school jacket as well! Shout out to JAY-BEE (JBL) for pointing out that the fans will chant for Daniel Bryan no matter what his personal chess moves are!!!

By Harper & Rowan getting involved and causing a disqualification… is that Bray Wyatt’s way of styling out the fact that he can’t last in the ring more than 5 minutes???? (Shout out to STC’s Anthony Cardenas!!!)

So let me get this right so I can understand this: For every loss/disqualification… Danny Wyatt sacrifices himself to Bray??? He really is the ‘dog’ in Unleashed!!!

2005_unleashed_poster_001

Unleashed Jet LI

Remember the great contest between John Cena & Damien Sandow last October? Well ever since then that has burning Sandow’s soul like Ether and he hasn’t been the same… he couldn’t defeat Cena with his bad arm… now that Cena is 100%…. can he beat him now???

Sandow now has a new super move submission? He realises that he has to step his game up now that there is only one belt!

Hold up – did Cena just use another new move??? WHOA!!! He’s gotta face the wrath of Vincent Kennedy surely!

Meme courtesy of STC member Lee Steadx

Cena wins! Well what did you expect IWC jabronies? He has to gain momentum going into the championship match at the Royal Rumble!!! NOW SHUDDUP!

OH SNAP!! Old School Raw NAH DUN! The New Age Outlaws team up with CM Punk to take on The Shield in a Smackdown rematch??? YEAAAAH BOYEE!!!

Dayum my girl Chilli from TLC is down with the WWE Network??!!! Well from time she’s getting it, What’s your excuse for not getting it you dumb muthaf***az?Chilli

Chilli @officialchilli 9 Jan

I can watch every @WWE PPV ever?.. past n present? WCW n ECW too?? Mannnn gotta get @WWENetwork Feb 24th! Luv my wrestling:)))

RECORD SKIP!!! The Wyatt Brudda (Bray & Danny) Vs The Uso Brudda AGAIN??? In a Steel Cage match? But the sh!t is chained up? And My Hero Kane got the key??? This is basically a tag team mini Hell In A Cell!!!!

YES!!! THE GREATEST THING EVER JUST HAPPENED ON RAW! FINALLY THAT BASTARD ZEB COLTER GOOSE COOK! THE BIG SHOW WITH THE SEAN PRICE PUNCH – PPPPPPPPPPPP!!!! THROUGH SCHOOLBUSES!!!

I loved how JAY-BEE was cussing that Zeb is somebody’s grandfather… Well THE GRANT SAYS that if he has any grandkids… they too should be overjoyed!!! YEAH I SAID IT! Let’s play some SEAN P!!!

WHAAAAT!! You wanted the muthaf***!n Attitude Era back!!! Look here now! New Age Outlaws in effect!!! CM Punk! The Shield! If you’re not down with that, they got two words for ya!!! SUCK IT!!!!

Lillian Garcia – MUTHAF**- That red dress she have on…. I wanna tear it off!!! NO I’M NOT POSTING A LINK OF THAT TUNE – LADY IN RED! We don’t do that over here – this is RePP!N4U! Represent The Real Hip Hop!!!

I find it interesting that JAY-BEE loves pointing out that The Shield took out The Undertaker and he hasn’t been seen since… that’s it Jay-Bee keep stirring the pot.. if I know Undertaker, he’s on some Batman Ninja Stealth sh!t, and will take out The Shield one by one!

Holy – did Roman Reigns just do the DX Suck It chop to the New Age Outlaws??? DISRESPECT!!! And I like Roman Reigns!

RECORD SKIP!!! The New Age Outlaws turned their back give CM Punk??? But why???? TELL ME WHY!!

…..WAIT! I FIGURED IT OUT!!!

Think about it!!! The New Age Outlaws – they are apart of whom? D-Generation X! Who is the founding members of that crew? Shawn Michaels & Triple TEEF! Who has CM Punk being disrespecting lately? TRIPLE TEEF! They are all bredrin! TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!! Some of you have done the knowledge already.. and I smell it – CM Punk Vs Triple TEEF and WrestleMania XXX???

Hang on – The Funkadactyls Vs AJ Lee & Tamina? That’s 4 of my favourite women! NO! THIS IS NOT RIGHT!!!!BDSIR LAYLA GRANT

AJ Lee – 211 days of WWE Divas Champion!!! GWARN GIRL!

Cameron takes the L… but AJ Lee and Tamina continue to be TEEF! Naomi BEXXX!!!! So hold on… does this mean Naomi could be in line for the Divas title at the Royal Rumble?

WHAAAAAAAAT!!! And to think… that WWE put out a DVD called the Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior, Had several superstars running his clart… and now they induct him in the Hall Of Fame! THAT IS #BESTFORBUSINESS!!!

Ultimate Warrior Hall Of fame

Remember back in the days? When Randall was so TEEF that he even got Kofi Kingston BEX??? Now I see a happy-go-lucky Kingston going to the ring! Come on Kofi!!! Where is that RUTHLESS AGGRESSION! What happened to the guy that took a baseball bat and f**ked up Randall’s car? Went to Madison Square Garden and f**ked Randall up???

OH SNAP!!! KINGSTON MUST HAVE HEARD ME!!! Kofi Kingston just defeated Randall Orton!!!! LAWD HAVE MERCY! Randall talking sh!t about everybody wants to f**k him up…now that means Kofi can actually fight for the title!

UH-OH!!! Now the voices in his head are talking to him! They told him to knock Cena’s dad the f**k out!!! Randall you’ve DONE IT NOW!!! You don’t beat down next man’s family suh like that!!! DISRESPECT! That’s somebody DADDY – FOOL!

OH SNAP!!!! My girl Chilli from TLC just retweeted The Infamous Informer!

Chilli retweeted you

39m:

Rybaxel go sidung!!! You ain’t beating The Rhodes Brudda them! NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!

Yes!!! Bertie is coming out to have a contest with Rey Mysterio! You know what that means! Lillian speaking Spanish!!! I said it before… if a woman is talking Spanish to me while I’m working her pum-pum – my super-sperm will shoot out like a champagne bottle after shaken! FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST!!!

Now I understand!!! Bertie mash-up Mysterio arm because he’s Batista’s bredrin!!!! Bertie you are a don but Batista is gonna f**k you up!!!

Big up the New England Patriots!!! They reppin at Raw with the classic WWF Championship Belt!! You know the one that Hulk Hogan, Yokozuna and Bret hart and famously known for holding???

OK MAIN EVENT TIME! THE USO BRUDDA! THE WYATT BRUDDA! STEEL CAGE MATCH! KANE LOCK DE DOOR! LET’S GO!!!

OH SNAP! The Usos! With a double back drop to Bryan from the top rope – BLAOW!!!

UH-OH!!! The Usos win again!!! Does that mean Danny Wyatt is gonna get f**ked up again??

SWITCH!!!! Bray went for the Sister Abigail super move! Danny said – NAH! F**K THAT!!! He kicked Bray all over that damn cage!!! Took off his boiler room attire! Rid himself of the Wyatt name! The Dog turned on his Master!!!

If you want my honest opinion, I think this storyline was meant to go on longer… but WWE must have picked up on this video recently… OBSERVE….

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Jobber Blogger #85 – The Best of TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 2013

Main BannerIt’s that time of year again when everyone rolls out their “Best of 2013”. Last year I believe I did it on Boxing Day, but for 2013 it was stuck in my head from the get-go as to who would be that “Break-out Star” or the best match.

Being the first Calendar Start to Calendar End year that I’ve been covering TNA every single week, I had quite a back-log of Notes to flick-through to find my Favourite Matches and refresh myself on my favourite PPV’s etc.

But something you find pretty quickly is this, If you Remember it, then It Was the Best.

Though saying that, that phrase doesn’t ring-true for everything, there are many matches through-out 2013 that had twists and story developments that you remember just for that fact alone. Same goes with the infamous “Wrestler of the Year”. But I shall get to that as we roll out the chosen Winners.

First I would like to take a Look-Back on 2013, the things TNA tried and failed, the Changes and the Stand-out moments they delivered.

PPVS a year

2013 was the first trial period of cutting down on the PPVs. Something that makes sense to me. Not every PPV is this big spectacle and huge event. So TNA eliminated them, we had Genesis and then nothing till Lockdown in March. As the year rolled on however and the idea of Destination X came about in July, they then brought back their Monthly events as Live Televised Specials.

From doing that, the “PPVs” stood out with being something big, like Slammiversary and Bound for Glory, going into next year just to be Lockdown – Slammiversary – Bound for Glory I believe.

Which means every Month in between they will have their Special Shows but aired Live on Television for free, this format seems to have been drawing bigger Ratings for TNA, so that’s smart. The PPV Buy-Rate has been dropping over the years, and it’s clearly a going-out-of-fashion market. If TNA can capture a Streaming Service or Subscription like the WWE Network, then they could quite easily capitalise on this Audience further.

On the Road

Going on the Road is something Hogan and Bischoff wanted to do since the moment they stepped foot in TNA. And let’s face it, it makes sense. Sure the Impact Zone was cool and they had all their equipment there to produce good lighting and effects. Wrestlers gravitated to TNA because they didn’t need to Travel so much, so that gave them plenty of “Me Time”. But for a Wrestling Business, the same faces in the Crowd every week, and those horrible “Tourists” who clearly walked into the Building thinking it was some kind of “Attraction”. You need to be on the Road.

The best Impact’s from the Impact Zone were always the ones right before the PPV. People would fly down so the Universal Studio would be packed with TNA fans. That’s what you want.

Take your show on the Road and guess what, TNA fans turn up, and different ones. Not only that but different locations expands your awareness, meeting new people, bigger crowds etc. But just from a Television perspective, the Show excels with a good crowd, that’s what Wrestling is based on. And the Impact Zone didn’t have that every week.

Though on the downside is Money, and TNA seemingly have taken quite a hit on that front over the year of 2013.

In the end though, I feel going on the Road was a big deal, and though now they are looking to secure somewhere to carry on how they used to. That’s a big step back in the wrong direction. Wrestling shows need their passionate fan-base, people don’t like it if it’s not Live television because now with the internet, it gets ruined. And let’s face it, the Wrestlers work best when they respond to the crowd, and to get the best crowd, you go out and find them. Not only that, but they pay to come and watch TNA, so hopefully they can figure out a Schedule that works best for them, both in quality and money stability. CutBacks

Going on the Road drank the funds rather low for TNA, now not stupidly low, they have a rather rich foundation. But 2013 saw the release of a lot of Stars, either from Cut-Backs to them just leaving. Doug Williams, Joey Ryan, SoCal Val, Matt Morgan, Devon, RVD, Hulk Hogan, even down to the latest of AJ Styles and Jeff Jarrett TNA founders and originals the list is rather long. Now I fully expect some of these people will be back in TNA at some point. But right now, it seems they are gone. It’s a sweet and sour thing really, people obviously don’t like the idea of certain stars leaving, but let’s be honest, TNA has a Roster far too big for the One-Show a week they run currently anyway. How often do Wrestlers just disappear off of Television for Months and make a “Come-Back” for no reason. Obviously they can only fit in what they book, and what ideas they have in creative going forward.

So really, most of these aren’t a big loss. You can probably make as much arguments for them not being used properly by TNA in the first place, in which case, no big deal really.

I certainly have forgotten most of the people now not with TNA, and Wrestling needs to stay Fresh, you need to mix the old with the new, only hopefully the new are actually good.

But if it saves money and keeps around the guys people want in TNA, then it’s not a bad thing. Every company needs to make cut-backs, and clearly paying guys to sit at home is a bad idea. TNA have been paying their stars to not work for far too long.

The downside to this is that they have brought in new contracts (apparently) which pay their stars per appearance. Now TNA developed this “Live Show” then straight after “Taped Show” deal. Which means the Wrestlers would get paid once for a deal that used to pay them twice. Now with 2013 closing out, and even the first two weeks of 2014, Impact has been Taped 6 weeks in Advance, now theoretically that is one Pay-Packet for 6 weeks worth of work.

I’m fairly sure no-one is badly paid, but it’s certainly a Pay-Cut for stars, and clearly it’s not working out. If the rumours are said to be true, then TNA original AJ Styles never got what he wanted, and the “unhappiness” behind the scenes is what led him to leave TNA.

HOGANBISCHOFF

This all fits in nicely to the departure of Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. It’s just about 4 Years ago when they both officially joined TNA. And it was a good run, but people both fans and Wrestlers alike said from the get-go – Get Rid of Hogan and Bischoff.

It could have been creative differences, it could have been money, but as 2013 ends, it seems clear that both parties have parted ways.

TNA never let Hogan and Bischoff have a huge hand in the Creative side of the Company, though TNA also claimed that they had more sway then they let on. Fact is, Hogan helped build the biggest Professional Wrestling company in the World, he helped put Wrestling on the map for a long-stay Television audience. Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan together built the only Wrestling Company in the history of Wrestling to actually Draw bigger ratings and more money than the WWE. But they also had a hand in it falling apart, albeit it a lesser hand. So clearly they would appear valuable to TNA. The problem is, the only sort of “Creative” ideas that come about are the same ones that put WCW on the map back in the mid 1990’s, and that’s the whole invading Faction.

The Immortal Faction was a good idea, and Jeff’s Heel Turn was well done, but, it did suck, let’s be honest. They were a terrible faction. The Aces and Eights was a great idea, with utterly poor execution and in the end a slightly different twist on the idea, that still did nothing really.

Hogan as the General Manager was a bore, it was the same thing every week. He drew big reactions and his name sold their product. But having him in the ring blabbing about and stumbling over his lines was never a good way to start the show. Bischoff I feel would have been a better on-air talent, but he was never seen again since the closing moments of Immortal. As both have gone away, TNA is actually producing some of the best Weekly Shows and ideas they’ve had in a long time, if not ever.

People like to go on about the “Old Days” of TNA, but their Booking was one of the things I always hated. It seemed Dusty Rhodes would just come out and read from a piece of paper for the next PPV with who will be fighting who for what in what match. Most of the time they continued the same matches to the next PPV. It was sloppy and boring and had no structure.

Hogan and Bischoff had a hand in Re-Imagining TNA and Re-Branding it of sorts, and that’s smart. You want to sell your Wrestling Product to any type of Market / Sponsor you give them the biggest name in Wrestling who is an established Star World-Wide and has been for the last 25+ years in Hulk Hogan, and that’s a good sell.

While it’s sad to lose that, Hogan and Bischoff’s pay-checks will open up more possibilities to the guys that really matter, and that’s the Roster.

aceseights

The Aces and Eights were the focus point for a good period of 2012 and the majority of 2013. The fact they were a “Biker Gang” was pathetic. I encourage anyone to work from their influences, no idea is an original idea. But to just say “hey Sons of Anarchy is cool, let’s do that” is stupid. It doesn’t translate to Wrestling, why the hell are they a Biker gang?

They could just create a Faction as they did and leave Bikes out of it, for 18 Months we never saw one of them Ride a Bike. And the only clips we saw of Bikes, had them sitting on them, or some “masked people” riding them, and there was only about 5 clips of those at most. So what was the point? Next time make a plausible faction.

My main gripe with The Aces and Eights was that it suffered from TNA’s “never-ending failure” of bad execution and poor pathetic pay-off.

They had this invading faction that weren’t necessarily Wrestlers who were all masked, sending threats to Hogan and Dixie, jumping Sting, beating up guys and causing chaos. That’s awesome.

Gradually things started to form, and people knew Bully Ray would end up at the head of the Table eventually. The problem though, is I think they changed their minds. If The Aces and Eights was a faction build by say an Eric Bischoff or Jeff Jarrett to try and regain TNA would have been incredible. And everything seemed to be going on that path, then every so often they would just “change it”. Joseph Park’s big exclusive discovery that got smashed on his Laptop and he hit in the head with a Hammer, that went no-where. When Hogan and Sting got kidnapped it was obviously Eric Bischoff in the role of the mysterious leader.

When it was time for Bully to take over, what was left? A faction of guys no-one gave two craps about and Bully Ray as World Champion. The entire development of The Aces and Eights was to put the World Championship on Bully… and that’s it. It ended at Lockdown. Then the faction was Bully Ray with his idiots who tried to keep him in Power. Hogan did nothing which he clearly could have done, and for some reason they were all on the roster. To the point that a few months later they weren’t even a problem anymore and Hogan didn’t seem to care. Even The Main Event Mafia didn’t seem to care. It had no pay-off. It was awesome appeal, great ideas, but poor execution and a pathetic end.

newstars

Speaking of bringing in New Faces, 2013 has ended with a great handful of them.

EC3 though still not really “over” in my eyes, is a great addition. He suits the role of Dixie’s nephew and so far he has managed to establish himself rather well.

On the other hand you have Lei’D Tapa the Gut Check loser who was brought back, that’s a great move. She’s something different but yet again, poor execution to building her character. I love the idea of not bringing in Power-Houses with your typical “Squash-Match” ideas. But to make her impactful for two weeks then a lackey the next, she’s lost all of her momentum and now I don’t care anymore.

Rockstar Spud, someone I wrote off almost instantly, has quickly become one of the best things on TNA Impact every week. Winning the British Boot-Camp was great, he made his debut and then was only seen once since till the end of the year. So I was more than sure he would be getting cut, but what they’ve done with Spud lately has been great work, not to mention he just Shines in the role.

To me though, the best showing of New-Comers has to be Norv Fernam and Dewey Barnes, don’t get me wrong, I don’t really care if they stick around or not. But I do like them. The thing I like the most is that normally when you have a new “Power House” debut you get some local talent who gets his ass kicked in the squash match. Now this is what Norv and Dewey were, till they became regulars. Now to debut these guys against a talent like EC3 actually brings in 3 new stars, establishes them and puts them over all in the same move. It’s clever.

dixieheel

To close out the most important things TNA has done in 2013 though, it has to be Dixie Carter’s Heel Turn.

I think it surprised people, they didn’t expect her to Turn, of all people. Not to mention just how well she fits the role. The thing with Wrestling Management is that it always works best with Heels in Charge. Dixie is the perfect person to gain Heat and draw that rebelliousness out of the Baby Faces. It also creates good Heel Turns in other stars to align themselves with Power.

The problem however lay in the fact that it’s sort of becoming yet another Faction thing. You will have Dixie’s TNA and they who oppose her, most likely the “TNA Originals”.

Either way it has been exciting TV since Dixie turned, her contrast with AJ Styles was great, and more recently Jeff Hardy. The one thing I enjoyed the most was Mr. Andersons brief run-in with the “law” though it ended a week later, it would have been a great contrast also.

It was a smart move Turning Dixie Heel and putting her front and centre each week, and it’s one that has quickly paid off in establishing new talent also. So I for one look forward to see where that all goes in 2014.

Well that was certainly a Long Introduction but now it’s time to get to the Matter at hand and start dishing out the Awards! And yes, the Awards are simply just a Banner I made, but I’m sure they will never see them and if they did, they would be proud!

newcomer nom

I think I pretty much covered the ground with my “New Stars” section above. But 2013 didn’t really see many “New Faces” more like November – December did. Gut-Check was a great new idea put into place last year, though most of the people they gained through that have since been “Released”. So in practice, it was a bad idea. However, TNA have managed to bring in some great new faces this year, and certainly some who I think actually fit into TNA and have the ability to stay around for the long haul.

I put it down to Ethan Carter the Third – Lei’D Tapa and Rockstar Spud because really… who else is there?

Best Newcomer - ROCKSTAR SPUD

But clearly, it has to be Spud who takes the win. EC3 is a great new addition too, but I don’t feel he has found his “place” yet. He’s the typical “new guy” and they’ve not done anything new with him. Nor has he actually had a proper match to see what his in-ring work is like

Lei’D Tapa is a great addition to the Knockouts, but her appeal has quickly been halted by making her Gail’s lackey. I feel they have missed a beat with Tapa, I think there is great potential to re-build it, but not till she is done with Gail. In the long run, it might be best to establish her name whilst being associated with Gail. But time will tell.

Rock Star Spud on the other hand, his gimmick and charisma was fine, but bringing him back as Dixie’s Chief of Staff was the perfect move. He has a great look, his size fits perfectly for people wanting to push him around and dislike him. His attitude and dare I say it “being British” is probably enough to encourage more people to dislike him and want to beat him up and the fact that Dixie won’t be getting thrown around means Spud can take the brunt of her decisions for her.

Spud has been the highlight of the last few shows with a great Backstage Segment with Sting to organising the Thanks Giving Meal (the British way) and Driving to Gainesville Georgia to find AJ Styles. They have been segments I have missed from Wrestling in a long time, and he plays the part perfectly. Mix that with the fact that he can actually Wrestle rather well, I think he will become a Character who you rarely see in the Ring, but will actually surprise those who don’t see him as a Wrestler.

All in all, for his additions to TNA in such a short amount of time, there is no doubt that Spud is the best Newcomer to TNA, and the one to look forward to in 2014.

return nom

Wrestling Fans love a Good “Return”. Whether it’s unexpected or not, people love to see old stars coming back from injuries or storylines. It’s one of the staples of the business and probably the biggest “Pop / Buzz / Ratings” when done correctly.

A few people have “Returned” this year, I mean Sting returns at least 3 times a year. But the most notable ones were Mr. Andersons come back after being beaten down by Bully Ray, Chris Sabin’s triumphant return after 2 years of gruelling rehab and AJ Styles’ long awaited return from his own hiatus.

Best Return - AJ STYLES

I feel sort of Bad for it not going to Sabin. Sort of bad being I don’t feel bad, but in reality he had the truest of Come-Back.

Sabin blew out his knees with the same injury, the second being on his first Return to the ring, so no doubt he had a lot to prove and probably the biggest gut wrenching effort to get out there and carry on. Sabin’s return also saw him Rise to the top with a short World Championship run. So it was a good return on all fronts.

Mr. Anderson on the other hand easily had the weakest, he was written off of TV because his Contract was up, but then came back a couple of Months later. I’m sure this thing has happened in Wrestling for years and years, but with the Internet people know what’s going on behind the scenes a little better. Still, Andersons departure was because he stepped up to fight Bully Ray and paid the price. He still paid the price on his return but he managed to bring down Bully Ray and eventually put an end to The Aces and Eights 18 Months later. So his return was good, but this story is still going into 2014, and I feel we haven’t got to the best part yet.

AJ Styles however for many won the Best Return. AJ’s story has been years in the making, the whole breakdown of Fortune and more battles with Christopher Daniels was the start of this story. The Dixie Carter romance, the infamous Claire Lynch debacle. All of it was to build to AJ’s growing depression and problems with TNA. He would eventually lose the chance to Wrestle for the World Championship for an entire year and losing to Daniels cleanly at the hands of his own Finishing Move is what drove him away. AJ was then “spotted” out and about with this whole Aces and Eights recruiting thing going on, but when AJ came back, he was different. Longer hair, rough looking, new attitude, something completely different to what people know. He was sick of TNA, sick of being the good guy. His return match at Slammiversary against Kurt Angle was great, the second “Evil Ways” played out over the PA was when you knew what AJ had become was something Special. That entrance alone set the stage for the Main Event at Bound for Glory, the clashing of personalities and attitudes both different and similar already set the tone for an inevitable match against Bully Ray. Though AJ fought his way through the Bound for Glory Series, defeated Bully Ray for the World Championship then left TNA because of Dixie Carter all set the stage for the direction of the Company.

Though no-one really knows what is happening with TNA right now, it’s safe to say this AJ Styles storyline and “real life issues” has been the biggest news . rumours in Wrestling for the closing months of 2013, so therefore AJ’s Return was both a huge surprise and a lasting effect.

ppv nom

Obviously it would be a short category if you only chose from the Four actual Pay-Per-Views this year. I simply chose to look at PPV’s as Specials, because that’s how I imagine most Wrestling fans view them.

But seeing that there are now only Four should mean that those four which you paid for, should be the best right?

It wasn’t super easy to narrow down the categories, but I did to what I feel were the best. Lockdown didn’t make the cut because it just wasn’t as good, the Main Event is a huge part in the History of TNA going forward, but the rest of the show was a little sub-par I found. Kurt vs. Wes? Lethal Lockdown? Not even every match was in a Cage which was what the whole selling point of Lockdown originally was.

So in the end it came down to the two you would expect, Slammiversary and Bound for Glory, with a third entry from Turning Point.

PPV of the year - Turning Point

Whilst I’m sure some people might be surprised by what I class as the best Show this year, but try and think what stood out to you the most from Slammiversary and Bound for Glory. It would be the main events… and that’s about it.

Slammiversary sticks in my mind because of Bully vs. Sting, which did make my list of Match of the Year potentials, but that sticks in my mind because it was an emotional match. The same can be said for AJ vs. Bully from BFG, it was a big match, but it’s a Story driven one.BFG wasn’t a “disappointment” per-se, but given it’s supposed to be the biggest show of the year… it didn’t match any type of Hype.

Now the Reason I went with Turning Point is because when I watched Turning Point, and even in my Write-Up I called it the “One to Beat”.

Now this goes into why I love TNA the way I do. It reminds me of the Wrestling I used to love, and when Turning Point kicked off, it did so with a Bang. Bobby Roode jumps James Storm in a Bar, it was an awesome bar-room brawl that hasn’t been seen in ages. I love, love, love backstage segments. And I especially love them when they’re not just the normal “in the back of the Arena” ones. So this was a great impactful way to kick off the show.

Samoa Joe and Magnus, though their match wasn’t great, it started amazingly. Joe pops up on the Titantron and challenged Magnus to the back, and they went at it from the back to the Ring. I love that. It’s exciting, it’s different, unexpected.

James Storm and Bobby Roode’s “Florida Death-match” again, the Match didn’t do much in the way of excitement, but the brawl was great. I loved the spontaneousness of it, I loved what the match was and how it ended.

And of course Andersons struggle to end The Aces and Eights was a true “Turning Point” for TNA going forward. It was a great Main-Event that wasn’t linked to the World Championship.

From Start to Finish Turning Point reminded me of Watching Backlash in 2000, it was Raw, it was Hardcore without being over the top and it was exciting, impromptu, unexpected and actually lived up to its name for setting the Stage for the future of TNA going forward.

knockout nom

The problem with Knockout of the Year is that there really isn’t many. Mickie James makes this list because he heel turn and Championship run in 2013 was great, but she then left, but left after her part played was very meaningful.

ODB has had a great year, since coming back to TNA and hooking up with EY, ODB has never been too far from the Screen, not to mention the Crowd love her.

The worst part is however that Taryn Terrell was on fire, she was poised to be the next big Knockout. She was doing things no-one else has done before and was on the verge of a big push before she left due to her Pregnancy. I’m sure she will be back, but she wasn’t around enough for her to become what she is capable of.

Lei’D Tapa fits in this, but again, not done much, and now thankfully Madison Rayne is back full force. I honestly hope that 2014 is a great year  for the Knockouts, because they struggle to keep it fresh. Which is why, the Knockout of the Year has to be:

Knockout of the year - Gail Kim

Gail Kim is known worldwide as one of if not the best Female Professional Wrestler on the planet. So how can you argue with that? She’s stayed at the top of the Division even when she wasn’t Champion for a brief period.

2013 closed out with her trying to find more competition, and sure this acts as a nice way to bring back Madison, but in reality, it’s true.

There really isn’t anyone left in TNA who is on Gail’s level, and that’s why she is the Knockout of the Year.

tagteam nom

TNA’s Tag-Team Division suffers from the same fate of the Knockouts.

They don’t really have anyone. The Bromans are the first “Team” to be made in TNA in quite some time. Sure Storm and Gunner had a quick run and it was a pretty decent run, but for the first few Months after they won the belts, they weren’t even on Television. And their run acts purely as a way to develop a Storyline, so they’re not even a Team.

Same can be said for Aries and Roode, who as a Team were fantastic, but it was so short lived there’s very little point mentioning it.

The Bromans have been fantastic of late, since Jessie debuted it was obvious he should be with Robbie E and for whatever reason it took them a long time to put them both together. They finally did and at Bound for Glory they really stepped up having one of the best Tag-Team matches of the Year against Storm and Gunner and actually Winning the Tag-Team Championships. It was a rite of passage because till then Robbie E and Jessie have always been the “losers” so for them to actually come across impressive probably seemed out of Character, but they are extremely capable. They might even have swayed my hand if they had been paired with Zema Ion longer. Ion’s addition to The Bromans is the proverbial Peanut Butter and Jelly. Not only does he suit the Broman role brilliantly, but making him a DJ at the foot of the Ring announcing them to the Ring and playing noises over their Matches, it’s a thing of beauty. And something totally new, so they are easily THE Team to watch out for in 2014.

But of course that means the TNA Tag-Team of the Year – 2013 is –

Tag-Team of the year - Bad Influence

How could it not be Bad Influence? They’ve been the best Team in TNA for over 2 years now, that just shows how little TNA actually push Tag-Teams.

But even with a Division full of Teams, Bad Influence would take a lot of effort to dethrone, Daniels and Kazarian together with their own input and creative ideas are unstoppable.

I think their Joseph Park stuff of late has been a little too brutal for them, but their messing around and ideas are a thing of genius. Their EGO Hall of Fame is one of the best Wrestling Segments in a long time, they work flawlessly together and they have branded themselves outside of TNA so well.

The very idea that anyone can match their talent, yet alone be better than it, is just ridiculous. Of course I love Tag-Team Wrestling and I miss Tag-Teams, I loved the Beer Money, Generation Me, Motorcity era of TNA, we need more Teams. So in 2014, that’s something I hope to have.

match nom

This was the Category I struggled on the Most. The rest sort of Answered themselves, or you knew instantly beforehand.

But Match of the Year was a tough one.

I went through Every Match this year and pulled all the ones I thought to be something Special. This resulted in a Collection of 19 Matches which started a whole process of Elimination.

Watching and Re-Watching to find “The One”.

Now I don’t want a Match of the Year to be something grounded by Story Telling. Clearly you can have a Great Match and it can move a Story forward as well as, like Bully vs. Jeff from Lockdown as an example. But when I know I’ve watched a good match is when you “feel” it. It takes you by surprise, it draws you in, it makes you excited, it actually throws you off who is going to win.

That’s the beauty of Wrestling that nothing else on this planet can deliver. It really is the strangest mix of media, but when it’s done right, it’s perfect. That’s what I wanted.

Those 19 Matches then came down to 9 Matches that moved forward. Those 9 then turned into 7 and bit by bit I pulled it down to Three, and it was no easy task. Two of the Matches stuck in my head from the first time I watched them, and one of them was something I had to Re-Watch to get the beauty from. In the end it came down to Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries from Destination X 2013 – Austin Aries vs. Sting from Impact 14/3/13 and Manik vs. Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries from Impact 4/7/13

AriesvsSting

Even when I was rolling out the “Nominees” Banners I still hadn’t decided which Match to go with. But in the end, I went with what I always wanted to be The Match of the Year.

Bobby Roode and Austin Aries have been tearing it up for over a Year now, and they’ve gotten pretty good at working together with it. Either as a Team (Dirty Heels) or against each other. It’s no secret I love Austin Aries’ work, he’s truly the best in TNA, hands down. Any match he is in, you’re in for a treat. Which is why last year when Aries actually faced Roode for the World Championship, I actually didn’t care for that match so much. I got why it was great. But Aries and Bully and Aries and Joe stood out to me far greater than Aries and Roode.

So fast forward a Year and Aries and Roode go at it again at Destination-X and its Perfection. It’s hard hitting, fast-paced and point for point perfect. Not to mention Aries’ suicide Dive through the Ropes which took Roode onto the Steel Steps was something I’ve never seen before.

Manik vs. Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries was the one that stuck in my head since I first Watched it. Sure Manik was taken out leaving Aries and Sabin to work it alone, and that created a great match. In the midst of Aries dressing up as Manik to win back the X-Division Championship, and Sabin’s quest for the Main Event at Destination-X it was a mix up of goals. But Manik impressed from the get-go as always, a true great addition to TNA, which is weird because he’s a Newcomer and also not. But Sabin and Aries fought it out beautifully, counters and kick-outs galore till in the end Sabin’s “All Hail Sabin” from the Top-Rope was enough to finally put away Austin Aries.

But Aries vs. Sting, there’s just something about it. I hate that it doesn’t have a Winner, as The Aces and Eights break it up. But Aries vs. Roode, we’ve seen many times. Aries / Manik / Sabin we’ve seen many times. But Aries vs. Sting has happened Once, and that’s it. Aries has stated since he wants to mix it up again with the Icon, and that is actually my most anticipated match should it ever see the light of day once more.

For me Aries vs. Sting has an awesome crowd, from the Get-Go it’s special. Roode and Aries enter to a great reaction, and Sting who returns to Chicago the home of some of his biggest matches in his Career and the Reaction is amazing. The thing I love most about it is that obviously Sting can still get it done, but he Wrestlers so much differently now. I wouldn’t say people let him off lightly, but he never seems to take much onslaught. Austin Aries has the ability many Wrestlers strive for, Anyone he Wrestlers with, is an amazing Match, Aries can raise the game of anyone, and does so, every time. Sting is no different, Sting is on fire in a way you rarely see, and Aries doesn’t hold back, he goes at Sting full-force like he would with anyone. Mix that with the Amazing Crowd, the fact they’ve never fought before or since, and you have a Match that stands on its own, completely unique, and utterly entertaining.

That’s why Austin Aries vs. Sting is different, exciting, and quite clearly – The Match of the Year.

wrestler of the year nom

I’m sure some people would like to make a play for AJ Styles in this category, but he isn’t in it because he’s not even been on Television for the Majority of 2013. Nor has he had 5Star Matches, he has had great Storyline Matches though.

Bully Ray falls into this Category because he controlled the Spotlight for the majority of 2013, on his rise to the World Championship to the entire Aces and Eights run, Bully commands the structure of the show as it’s best Heel and one of the best performers in the ring from a physical Wrestling standpoint, to a Storytelling wrestling standpoint.

It has been a long time coming for Bully to be a World Champion, and while I actually think he as President of The Aces and Eights isn’t as strong as him just being Bully Ray a Heel, this has easily been the year of Bully Ray.

Jeff Hardy on the other hand is someone I didn’t actually expect to put in this category. Hardy won the fans vote for Wrestler of the Year last year in TNA itself, but he’s popular, so that’s why. Since Jeff has been back, he’s been excellent. Even his mic skills have seen a little improvement on the odd occasion this year. Jeff’s in ring work has been some of the best Matches he’s ever done. Jeff’s normally remembered for being Crazy and not actually for a “Wrestling” point of view. But Jeff actually had 5 possible Match of the Year candidates this year. He always steals the spotlight in the ring and his work has been getting stronger and stronger. For Jeff to be where he is in his Career, it’s truly exceptional for him to continue to excel at this stage. He’s always been a fan-favourite and in 2012 he proved himself, and in 2013 he not cemented his statement but exceeded his potential and value to the industry.

With that being said, it’s quite obvious who takes the Title of the Wrestler of the Year:

Wrestler of the Year - Aries

How could it not be Aries? You want great Wrestling, you look to the best Wrestler there is, and that’s Austin Aries. He has a great character, great mic skills, great storytelling ability and he is the best in the Ring. Period.

Out of those 19 Matches I considered for Match of the Year – Aries was in 9 of them. As my process of elimination grew narrower guess who ended up in every single Match of the Year Nominee – Austin Aries. I believe that is called a “Common Denominator” and Aries is the Common Denominator of Greatness. For the second year in a Row no-one has put on better Matches than Austin Aries. And when AJ and Aries clashed this year, Aries even said it, AJ “Was” the face of TNA for great matches and must see talent, today, that’s Austin Aries.

His ability is exceptional and something truly unique, plenty of people in the business like to brag about how good they are, but no-one is actually as good as Austin Aries, and that’s why he is The Wrestler of the Year.

It has been a Great year for TNA and clearly they have had a lot of problems as always and maybe even more plaguing them today in the early stages of 2014. Whatever happens, their Product has been incredible and their addition to Wrestling History cannot be over-looked.

Here’s hoping they can execute great idea with great pay-offs this year, and that they really pad out and spend time developing their fantastic Divisions – X-Division – Knockouts and Tag-Team especially.

But in the closing segments, just as it was last year, 2013 is the year of Austin Aries.

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

 http://cageamateursuk.com/

http://striketapandgrapple.com

 

Monday Night Raw #1076: January 6, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

Daniel Wyatt

Can you believe the jury is out on this? Has Daniel Bryan (Or should I say Daniel Wyatt) turned evil/heel? What I saw was a RELUCTANT Daniel Bryan who felt in his heart that the DUTTY MACHINE won’t let him become champion so he might as well join the Wyatt Family. If that’s the case then the Wyatt Family should be a large family of black people!!!!

Shout out to Tony Norris (Ahmed Johnson) and Mike Knoxxx who have debated this as of late! Y’all need to check Perfect Plex show BDSIR Network every Monday Night before Raw, Every Friday at midnight (UK time) for the Iron Curtain show, and of course STC From The UK every Saturday night! NO Blog Talk Wrestling Radio Show can touch what they do!!! Click on the pic below to take you straight to the Best Damn Show In Radio!!

STC BDSIR

Hey you know everybody’s talking about the “good old days”
Everybody! The good old days
Well, let’s talk about the good old days…
 (Gladys Knight, sample on Wu-Tang Clan – Can It Be All So Simple) OL’ SCHOOL RAW! #1076 – HOL’DAT – BLAOW!
WWF logoYES-SA!!! Ric Flair look good! He doesn’t look like that drunken mess he was when he promoted that WWE2K14 and allegedly cost JR his career… lost some weight too…

OH NO! Don’t tell me the voices in Randall’s head is saying – its old school, so I gotta be the legend killer and kick my former mentor in his head!!! Yo Randall, Do you think the authority decided to have John Cena fight him again was for the fans to like??? Believe me Randall the wrestling fans DON’T like it! You mean to tell me that Ric Flair & Triple Teef hand-picked Randall 10 years ago to be the don and Randall turns round and calls the former 16 time world champion OVERRATED??? He sounds like one of them internet wrestling spoilt brats on a keyboard! IT’S RIC FLAIR N!**@!!!!

Word on the street is Rikishi is in the hiz-house! In the ring are The Usos and Rey Mysterio… Now there are 4 in the Wyatts… jussayin..

Look at Danny!!! In his Wyatt uniform! I don’t know about you… but Bray hollering at Danny to get in the ring and fight Rey Mysterio and the Usos kinda reminds me of Unleashed with Bob Hoskins and Jet Li….

Look at Danny’s fighting style!!! He really does fight like a dog!!!! Next thing you know he’s gonna have a collar round his neck!

OH SNAP!!! Roddy Piper has The Shield in Piper’s Pit???? WROOOOOY!!! This should be good!!!!

Well let’s be real we all knew that my good friend Batista is competing in the Royal Rumble… Well THE GRANT SAYS if he wins or not…. I WIN!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Just like the Million Dollar Man!!!!!

Shout out to my hero Kane who just told Bradley Boy about himself! If Kane gets fired or Bradley Boy ‘gets him fired’…. the mask comes back on…. AND THEN!!!!!!!

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! You best behave yourself Bradley Boy! And Kane fixed his tie!!!! F**K!N BRILLIANT!!!

Hold up – Ryback looking on as Curtis Axel competes against my dude Big E Langston… Is it me or is Ryback eyeing up the Intercontinental Championship??

BIG UPS TO Roddy Rowdy Piper!!! Yo I wanna remind you that Goldust is back there rude boy!!!!

 

This feud had me in hysterics!!!!! Good Times!

Yo I’ve seen Roddy slap Superfly Snuka upside the head
with a coconut… but I don’t know if he can handle The Shield!!! Or Maybe he can! If Reigns can defeat CM Punk, does that mean him better than his comrades???? UH-OH!!!

Watch the twist! CM Punk comes through with back up!!!! The New Age Outlaws rude boy!!! Yes you attitards send for your vaseline! Jerk like you never jerked before!!!!

Word??? Monday Night Raw is airing live in Japan??? I think it’s only right that GRANT - BODY - Pthe New Japan Pro Wrestling should be aired live over here!!! FIX UP!!! Shout out to all the NJPW crew over at the International Wrestling Fanbase!

The old schools announce table KILLS IT!!! Wires all over the shop! It’s gotta be a working health hazard surely!

Dayuuum Danny Wyatt wants to contribute to his new-found family… I don’t know man this ain’t gonna last long at all!!! Coz it’s like – “we adopt him and suddenly he’s calling the shots? F**K THAT!!!”

WHY THE F**K IS “WE THE PEOPLE” IS BEING CHANTED BY THE DUMB NUMBSKULLS CALLED THE WWE UNIVERSE??? YO – F**K THE WWE UNIVERSE, F**K THE IWC!!! I WALK ALONE LIKE BATISTA!!!!

One other thing Michael Cole…. why tell us to download the muthaf***!n WWE App when you show us what happens in the wrestling match anyway????

HA! HA! The fake Americans lose again!!!! You see Zeb? Racism gets you NOWHERE!

SHOUT OUT TO DDP!!!! So w’happen, you’re not stalking Michelle McCool anymore???? (GEDDIT????)

Promoting his Yoga DVDs… he and Booker-T are doing Yoga techniques… I wanna see Trish Stratus do that sh!t!!! No wonder Ron Simmons entered the building and said….

Damn

WROOOOOOOOOOY!!! OL’SCHOOL RAW IS GREAT!!!!!

This should be good! Great Khali! Damien Sandow! Who’s gonna be the guest referee? Bob Backlund? Arn Anderson? Sgt Slaughter? The WWE Universe jabronies voted…

SEND FOR THE SARGEANT!!!! I would have voted for Bob Backlund personally! THE CHICKEN WING!!!

While this contest is happening lets just throw in a pic for no reason…

Dawn Marie

10 years ago, if I ever got my hands on this woman her @$$ would be in a wheelchair!!!!!

Hold up – Sandow’s foot was on the ropes and Slaughter counted the three for Khali! Don’t reason with Slaughter Sandow! Look w’happen – He put your brain in the Cobra Clutch!!!

Now he’s dropping two foot with The Great Khali and Rajin Singh! Yo Cole & JBL – stop with the twerking sh!t – if it ain’t Eve doing it I don’t wanna know!

 

Catch Brock’s new shirt! Eat! Sleep! Conquer! Repeat!!!!! THAT’S WHAT’S UP!

WHOA!!!! Did Heyman just say that NO MMA Fighter can test Brock Lesnar??? I beg to differ! As soon as Brock got BUSS ARSE by Alistair Overeem, the so-called Beast Incarnate took his foot and ran back to the WWE!

So while Heyman talks about one man reigning supreme my hero Mark Henry wants Round 2!!!

OH SNAP – He done gone and broke Mark Henry’s arm… THAT’S WHAT HE DOESN’T DO!!!!

BACKFOOT!!! THE BIG SHOW????  Has he come to punch Brock Lesnar through school buses??? Now last time I check – Big Show actually defeated Brock Lesnar for the World Wrestling Federation title!

BACKSIDE!!! Brock tried a sneak attack – Big Show grab up Brock and dash him across the ring to BLODCLART!!!! WROOOOOOOOOOY!!!!!

F**KINHELL OLD SCHOOL RAW IS DAN GARGON!!!! I dare ANY wrestling fan to complain! I’LL F**K YOU UP LYRICALLY SWORD SWINGING AT YOUR SNAKE HEAD!

Diva tag team action! Bella Twins! Alicia Fox! Aksana! It is only right as it is old school Raw, this pic should go up…

Photo Courtesy of Anthony Cardenas!!

Photo Courtesy of Anthony Cardenas!!

Happy Birthday Jacqueline Moore! The sexiest 50-year-old I’ve ever seen!

Ha! Ha! You see what happen when you go Brie Mode???? YOU LOSE! 1, 2, 3 – Aksana wins!!! Play that pum-pum music!!!!

OH SNAP!!! TOO COOL & RIKISHI REUNITE!!! BLODCLART!!!

If I was 3MB I’d turn back….. Time to drop two foot with Too Cool & Rikishi!

Michael Cole – as much as I love Too Cool… you can’t call em Hip Hop twins!!! DISRESPECT!!! THIS IS HIP HOP TWINS!

 

Big up to the crowd chanting ‘You Still Got It’ to Too Cool & Rikishi!

Hold up – How come the Godfather has appeared with a whole heap of legends and no hoes??!!! BLASPHEMY!

I wasn’t feeling this Bad News Barrett but that podium KILLS IT!!!! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Big ups to Mene Gene Okerlund! Big ups to the New Age Outlaws who just introduced CM Punk!!!! You know what attitards! I forgive you – KEEP FAPPIN!!!!

This is it now! The Main Event! Can Roman Reigns brukk up my dude CM Punk??? LET’S GO! HOLD DAT BLAOW!!!

You dun know if the New Age Outlaws and the Shield are at ringside YOU KNOW RUCKUS is bound to happen!

OH SNAP!!! CM Punk Vs Roman Reigns – THIS IS AWESOME!!!!! You ain’t lying! The whole of Raw has been awesome!!!!

BUMBACLART!!!! ROMAN REIGNS DEFEATED CM PUNK!!! That means….. that means…….!!!!!!!!

RECORD SKIP!!! WHAT THE F**K!!!! JAKE THE MUTHAF***!N SNAKE!!! HE BROUGHT HIS PYTHON TO THE RING!!! THE SHIELD TOOK FOOT AND RUN! CM PUNK WITH THE GTS ON AMBROSE – BLAOW!!! HE JUST THREW THE PYTHON ALL OVER AMBROSE CARCASS!!! BUMBACLART!!

Understand what has just happened! WWE kept that under lock and key! Here was us hoping that Austin or the Undertaker was gonna come out… but Jake The Snake???? What we just saw was worthy of a PPV quality. I DARE ANYONE TO COMPLAIN. What a Raw… next stop – My Birthday!!!! YES! The birthday seazon has begun! BRING ON THE WOMEN!!!

JANUARY 11, 2014: THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!

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GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Jobber Blogger #84 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 2/1/14

Jobber Blogger logo2

Welcome to a Brand New Year! And unlike the opening sentence, nope there is nothing new at all about this blog. Well aside from the fact that it is written about this week’s TNA: Impact of course.

I do hope everyone enjoyed their New Year celebrations, and given my opening Paragraph said there was nothing new, there actually is! No better way than to start the year with a double bluff! Happy New Year! Got you, it’s only 11:57pm! In the face, in the drink and down the stairs!

So yes, News! I like news, it’s interesting, entertaining and oh wait, I don’t actually watch the news. I do however keep up to date with Wrestling “news” and Video Game news, and then that about covers my Worldwide knowledge of global happenings. A possible Guardians of the Galaxy or new Spider-Man Cartoon? I’m in! Take that War!

Well it’s officially taken me 3 attempts to spread the news, The Jobber Blogger is expanding! From this point on his words of wisdom and cultural disdain will spread the IGN Blogs to CageAmateurs UK (Strike/Tap and Grapple) and now onto the new Sandy Shores of TheSteelChair.com

Bring on 2014 like a Flying Wad of Cashing straight into the pocket! I’m selling out!

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 2/1/14

Yep, it’s the first show of 2014 says TNA, but it’s not though really is it. This was filmed over a Month ago. And so is next weeks, so don’t go spoiling it for yourselves. If you want a lovely way to stay up to date with TNA News, head on over to facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind and call in on the TheSteelChair.com for articles about said news! And eat your way out of that Holiday Depression!

Apparently I found the opening video of Impact rather funny this week, though I don’t remember why, so excuse me whilst I refresh my memory. And now I’m back! I feel like how I imagine Lindsay Lohan feels after she awakens from yet another desperate attempt to further her career, yet can’t remember the night before and searches for it on the Internet.

Impact’s opening Video was a strange mixture of Comedy meets Excellence. No, you can’t have both. With such phrases like “From the United Kingdom, that means, He’s British!” “To rule under Dixie, forever, and ever, amen”. What kind of weird thing is this.

Ah, alas the humour is wasted unless presented in a Visual form. Maybe…. nah.

So Kurt Angle kicked off Impact this week, and I guess he’s suffering from a Lindsay Lohan situation to, for he didn’t seem sure of his own name and perhaps feared people had forgotten it also. “My name is Kurt Angle”, ah, the whole thing reeks of Scripted Television.

Kurt Angle is my name

Angle felt 2013 was the worst year of his Career, and in order, I quote “Beatings from The Aces and Eights and Personal Problems”. Well The Aces and Eights was a storyline and therefore your Job, the personal stuff he did on his own. Either way Bobby Roode soon crashed the segment hoping Kurt was about to “Hang-Up his Boots” but much to everyone’s dismay, he didn’t.

No, instead they made a Steel Cage Match for Genesis, Angle vs. Roode, if Roode wins Angle must leave and never accept the TNA Hall of Fame induction. So I guess this time, Angle will actually Win. Though who knows, maybe Roode will. Either way I feel Angle will be inducted into the Hall of Fame this year and therefore this whole Storyline resulted in a way that they had another Year under their belts to think of who else they could induct, seeing as they have no-one else. Obviously they have tons of guys who should be there, but they are in their Prime, it’s more of a “end of career” thing. Still Roode and Angle closed it out with a fight, coz it’s Wrestling and that’s what they do. So Rockstar Spud made a Tag-Team match where they both get to chose their Partners.

Gail Kim (W/Lei’D Tapa) vs. Madison Rayne

So it’s another Open Challenge, but I’m sure the rules were to anyone outside of TNA, and Madison is on the Roster (I presume). That’s why Gail didn’t fight ODB under the Open Challenge ruling, so it makes no sense. Still, Tapa had an expression on her face like she was ready to beat down on Gail Kim…

Tapa uh oh

Either that, or she just suddenly had the biggest Bowel Movement of her life. That means Poop. How Big you say?

Tapa This Big

As normal, I made very few notes during this match. I wrote down that Madison has improved in the ring… I hear being Pregnant will do that to you. Also as I wrote down “she has improved” she made an error in the ring. But still, the main statement rings true. Not sure if she works as a Face yet though.

The main note I made was that her Outfit sucks. It’s like she’s trying to hide something, perhaps after becoming a Mother she realised that she was hitting Middle Age and rushed off down to her local Tattoo shop to cash in on a nifty Drawing of her Favourite Nolan-Batman Villain.

Madison tattoo

I can’t wait for the New Batman movies, Nolan’s films were rather dull. But without going on a big rant, let’s all just agree that Nolan is hugely over-rated.

In the end however, Madison managed to Pin Gail once more by countering her Eat Defeat into a Backslide and winning.

Chris Sabin (w/Velvet Sky) vs. Austin Aries – X-Division Championship – Rematch

I haven’t really thought about this before, but if Aries beat Sabin for the belt, Sabin cashed in a Rematch, won the belt back, therefore Aries shouldn’t have a Rematch? Right? Because otherwise they will be in a continual loop. Unless of course Aries was “screwed” out of the Title.

Sabin and Velvet continue to show how bad of a couple they are. To be honest, I didn’t need to see Sabin treat her badly for me to come to that conclusion. Just put Velvet Sky next to Chris Sabin and it looks like a mismatch. Velvet is attractive of course, but then the Tramp Stamp and sluttiness of her character degrade that, pair that up with how she looks outside of the ring and she looks worse, then I think Sabin is the type of guy who shouldn’t be with that kind of girl. Being the old Nerd / Popular Girl thing. Then on the other hand, Velvet does seem like a nice person, and Sabin has scruffy hair and a fuzzy face and really is a rather weird looking chap. And it’s like what’s going on?

The Story of this match is that Sabin wants to win with the Championship, and he wants Velvet to help him win, and if he doesn’t leave with the Championship after this match, then he will leave without her.

Aries was cooking on all cylinders, but then, he always does. And here’s a lovely Plug for my up and coming Best of TNA 2013 article, featuring my chosen “Match of The Year Nominees”

match nom

Aries hit his fast paced hard hitting Corner Dropkick on Sabin, and rather than capitalising as he always does, he shouted at Velvet to climb on the apron, which she did and Sabin then Low-Blowed Aries and Won back the X-Division Championship.

My problem with that is the whole Sabin seems fine after getting the Drop-Kick. Aries would have hit the Brain Buster by now, and yet Sabin spent the time just telling Velvet to do something rather than selling the move he would normally do. I get it from a Story-Telling perspective, it just breaks the flow.

Sabin then went on to Congratulate himself, which I commend.

Samuel Shaw vs. Norv Fernam

Well yet again Norv has awesome music, I couldn’t find it however and instead ended up watching more Clips of Brock Lesnar’s baby scream from Raw.

You know, Norv and Dewey had a far greater introduction to TNA than EC3 did, it was much more creative. Samuel Shaw, I think he is best summed up as “Meh” currently. He was “Meh” before, so I get the whole idea of letting him get some air-time as a new Gimmick. Seeing as the whole “Surf’s Up Dude” thing didn’t work for him, or Christian York. Least Shaw was somewhat more impressive in the ring, though I also don’t care. But he certainly has a Crazy Face, and if that’s what it takes to have a good career in Wrestling then so be it. I suppose a weird smart dressed Wrestler who has a crazy face and stalks Women is a new gimmick… right? I still think it would be far funnier if he carried around a Drawing Pad and coloured crayons and drew “dark / scary” pictures when he met people he didn’t like.

But Taz and Tenay did at least managed to mention that Shaw is a good Drawer, something which I seemed to have forgotten was relevant to being a Wrestling Fan.

It was your basic Squash match, though Shaw won with a Submission victory, so that’s at least nice to see a new Submission used to hopefully give him the wins.

scary picture

 Kurt Angle and Gunner vs. Bobby Roode and James Storm

I can’t help but feel they did this “Beer Money” reunion the wrong way, I suppose it’s probably because Roode is supposed to still be viewed as a Heel, and having the Crowd on his Side takes it away from Goody Too Shoes Angle. You know what I would like to see, I want Gunner to be proven right in the end, and that Storm is a paranoid dude who didn’t get that Gunner was trying to do nice things for him and Storm snaps and uses a Beer Bottle to smash over Gunner’s head to either win the Briefcase from him, or the Championship, putting Storm in the same shoes Roode once was. That could be a good catalyst to bury the grudge between Roode and Storm and be the starting of a Beer Money reunion properly. Just spit ballin’.

Gunner is becoming increasingly good, I like his look, I like his Ring Jacket. I like how he fired himself up smashing his face into the Turnbuckle. I think something really big could come from his potential. I said it from the get go, this pairing with Storm was to mould Gunner.

But that doesn’t put Storm in a good position though after Gunner is established.

I still feel strongly that Storm is in need of a Heel Turn, he was a good Heel, and he’s been dragging his Spurs on the ground for too long.

Angle never got the Tag in the match, as it was dominated by Roode and Storm, the whole match was weird having Face and Heel teaming on each side, they couldn’t go too far with Storm and Roode breaking the rules, especially if Angle was in the ring. Still Angle eventually had, had enough and tore it down with German Suplexes, Gunner then picked up Bobby Roode to finish him off with the “Gun-Rack” which then left him open for Storm to hit The Last Call Superkick on Gunner and Roode dropped him with his Death Valley Cutter thing I wish he named already, and Storm and Roode picked up the win.

They didn’t “Beer Money out” I assume to leave a gap between the Heel / Face of both guys, but it was a nice little match. The Gunner / Storm story is shaping up well also.

EC3 hit the ring to continue his “Winning Streak” after proclaiming to have changed the Wrestling industry. Which isn’t a good thing as most people who aren’t fans of TNA seem to Loath EC3. But seeing as Jeff Hardy left TNA last week, EC3 apparently contacted him via Twitter and Challenged him to a Match tonight, Jeff’s music played, but alas he didn’t make it to the ring, so EC3 counted him out. A clear sign Hardy obviously isn’t done with the Company, weird as Hardy’s role is linked the AJ’s and with Jarret leaving, it all just seems too suspicious for my liking.

Still, it wasn’t that Hardy didn’t want to accept the Challenge, as a matter of fact the only reason he didn’t make the Match was because he was on a Flight back to North Carolina at the time. To his credit though, he did attempt to leave the plane mid flight.

Jeff PlaneSting got in EC3’s face once more, taking a page out of Storm’s book and making everything “his business”. Sting just called EC3 a LapDog and wanted to Fight him. And eventually with the help of the Crowd EC3 accepted Sting’s Challenge for Genesis.

Bully Ray vs. Joseph Park

I am glad they actually addressed this, EY booked this match for Park given that it was 2 years ago this Week that saw Bully Ray vs. Abyss in a Monsters Ball where Bully led Abyss outside, and he disappeared from there on out. Leaving to Joseph Park turning up, etc. So it does appear that there might be answers to that question at the end of this Story somewhere. So I am optimistic currently!

Bully told Park before the match that he would hate to see him Burn for the Sins of Anderson, and in the match Bully just sprayed “lighter fluid” all over Park till Anderson turned up. Bully then sprayed “lighter fluid” all over Anderson and threatened to set him on Fire, then Bully left. So.. that was strange… but good also.

Which of course brings us to Magnus’ Coronation!

Spud did the main Introduction which was awesome, he’s really good in this role as Chief of Staff. Though it did drag a little bit toward the end…. then EC3 did yet another Introduction, which I have no idea why, that dragged even more and ruined the whole start of the Coronation.

Dixie then finally came out after two introductions and told the Story about how she found Magnus / Signed him and proud of him to represent her Company as her World Champion, so Magnus finally came out, after three introductions.

Magnus skipped the Usual heel turn promo “Why, Magnus, Why?” crap, though did fall into the “The Fans turned their backs on me!” crap. Who cares, I hate this thinking that “Bad Guys” need “Reasons”.

Gunner then crashed the Coronation demanding his World Championship Match, but that just led to Spud, EC3 and Magnus beating down on Gunner, and with Gunner pinned down Magnus was ready to hit him with the TNA World Championship when AJ Styles finally  came back.

It was a little on the nose with AJ’s return to TNA, very expected. Even if I didn’t know it happened before hand or not. AJ and Magnus shared words but at least Magnus still has a sense of Pride and accepts to fight AJ next week to determine the Official TNA: World Heavyweight Champion.

A clumsy ending, the pay off was still good, hopefully will be more so next week.

I can’t wait for Genesis so TNA isn’t airing things that happened ages ago, and we can keep up to date with it as it happens.

Till then.

 

Dan Wilkinson.

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

 

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