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Author Archives: Jon P

About Jon P

Currently run www.cageamateursuk.com which is a combat sport website.

Monday Night Raw #1071: December 2, 2013!!!

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The Infamous Informer

Greetings Internet Wrestling B!tches! and all you fine normal folk out there that loves this wrestling sh!t! I am your host, The chocolate pudding eating, hip hop reppin, WWE2K14 @$$ Whoopin!!!! Infamous Informer a.k.a. Layla’s baby father a.k.a. The Last of My Kind a.k.a. GRANT-BODY – P!!!! I hope you had a blessed thanksgiving, cleaned out all the PS4′s on Black Friday, mourned the death of Paul Walker when you should mourn the deaths of the little seeds in the third world countries, then went out today in what they call Cyber Monday and cleaned out Amazon and eBay… now SHUDDUP, BE STILL and let’s get some more joke from the world of WWE why? because THAT’S WHAT WE DO!!!

29 days and counting down til this year dun! RAW #1071! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

Oh no Punk Midas you know the rules in WWE! You don’t disrespect the authority!!! Now look what you done – you brought Stephanie out here…. actually that’s good… OH YEAAAH!

Oh yeah Stephanie you have matured… good gawd almighty! Come here girl!

Look at you IWC b!tches trying to look at Stephanie’s hand while she drops her own promo…. just enjoy the blasted show you miserable f**ks!

Oh no now look what you done Punk Midas! You made my hero Kane set up a match – you one Vs the entire Shield! You are the Best Inna De Wurl after all… I’m sure you can take them!

Now the Authoritaah guarantees there will be one champion… and it’s up to us – NO – the WWE Universe to decide what the title holder should be called: the Unified Champion, (that’s the closest to Unification!) the Undisputed WWE Champion, (My Pick,) or the Undisputed world champion? Bruce Buffer help me out here!!!

#1 Contender match for the Intercontinental championship: Dolph Ziggler Vs Damien Sandow (my pick) LET’S GO!!!

YES!!!! Sandow with the You’re welcome Supermove BLAOW!!!!! Man I love both guys (Langston & Sandow), but I gotta go with…. wait a minute now is not the time to give away my predictions???? f**kouttahere!!!

What’s wrong? Ziggler got buried you say? Come on man kill that noise! Ziggler buried himself man…. he might as well go to TNA!!! I buss up his clart on WWE2K14… on LEGEND difficulty! What does that tell you???? Dolph Ziggler is WACK – GET OVER IT!

And the Total Divas Vs AJ’s divas feud continues!!!! I love watching the Total DivasBDSIR LAYLA GRANTshow, but when it comes to the wrestling… I wanna get in between Summer Rae’s legs, bend AJ Lee over and hit it from the back…and let Tamina sit down pon it so I can see her sexy face as she rides!!!!

You know what’s brilliant about this? Tamina and Summer Rae are beating down the Bellas while AJ is skipping like she’s on the yellow brick road!!!! YES!

Oh no Natalya pinned the Divas Champion again???? AJ Lee what’s doing you girl????

I love how the cameraman was outta order when Wack Barrett disrespected the Oklahoma crowd calling the overweight miscreants and the camera finds some in the crowd… HA! HA! (By the way waste of segment!)

Hold up – Ladies Favourite Randall Orton just told Brad Maddox to tell the authoritaah that he is bigger than WWE????? You are not as big-headed as Kanye West but…

You don't have the answers

YOU DON’T HAVE THE ANSWERS RANDALL!!!

So let me get this right so I can understand this: If Punk Midas has gotta fight The Shield at TLC, does this mean that Danielson has gotta fight the Wyatts? JBL amused me… he said he would become a Wyatt in a heartbeat! Well THE GRANT SAYS – GO and be a Wyatt then!!! And stop climbing them damn mountains!

STC’s Anthony Cardenas is right – this contest between Danielson and Eric Rowan is surprisingly boring…. the crowd is wack, the commentators are talking some random sh!t, and the fans are tweeting about the Slammy Awards next week!

Hold up – I was gonna ask where Bray Wyatt was? He usually sits there in his rocking chair! See him here on the titantron!

So he’s cryptically telling Bryan to join the Wyatts? and he rolled his eyes into the back of his head????? BLASPHEMY!!!!

You know why the crowd is so wack? Think about it – it is Oklahoma after all… they’re still upset about what happened to Good Ol’ JR…

Oh my days I was right!!! My hero Kane just said Danielson gotta fight all the Wyatts! Hold up something just caught my attention…

Broadus Clay jealous that Xavier Woods did his ‘One Won’t Do’ with the funkadactyls???? Is this the slow heel turn that y’all muthaf***az want???

Look w’happen… Broadus lost to Xavier Woods!!! And soon… he will lose his precious funkadactyls!!!

LAWWD HAVE MERCY It’s Sin Cara!!!! Where the rarse did they find him from???

Backside where are the storylines man???? Where are the jokes? You know what, while Bertie has his contest with Sin Cara, I’ll leave you with this commercial break and will be right back after I pay these bills… enjoy the view!!

Photo Courtesy of Anthony Cardenas!!

Photo Courtesy of Anthony Cardenas!!

I wasn’t even paying attention to Cena’s promo… I was admiring Renée Young, who told Zack Ryder last week that if he won the WWE & World title she would date him… Do you know how stupid she made you look Zack??? She would only have to look at the Infamous Strudel and she would wanna date me!

All I’m seeing is bare wrestling matches!!! (what’s wrong with that? You may ask?) It’s all well and good but I’m getting no jokes here! Apart from Dean Ambrose selling Big Show’s slaps in the chest!

The Shield amuse me, saying to CM Punk that he wouldn’t last 5 minutes with one of em???? NEWSFLASH – CM Punk has had epic battles with Jericho, Cena, The Rock, Undertaker, and Brock Lesnar! Trust me Shield, CM Punk is a tough muthaf***a! Don’t underestimate him just because he appears like a little dude! He ain’t the Best Inna de Wurl for nothing!

HA! HA! HA! HA! Punk Midas is a joker! He is rippin the p!$$ out of the creative team! It’s true – those match ups are WACK! They just throwing sh!t together because the Slammy jump off is the next week… I say fire the lot of em Steph!! I thought you wanted a team that did soap operas and sh!t!!!

Amongst the awards next week is the Total Diva of the year award… can you imagine if Eva Marie won???? The IWC would RIOT!!!!! Come on EVA MARIE! HAHAHA!

Now what? Miz & Kingston forced to team up again??? I’m not even gonna talk about this unless something funny happens…

My hero Mark Henry is gonna f**k up Fandango!!! Good god almighty – Summer Rae… whoever her boyfriend is needs to write a book.

HA! HA! HA! Mark Henry showing Summer Rae that he still got the sexual chocolate! Don’t fight it Summer…. you knew you were getting wet…

You know what he should have done??? Grab up Summer Rae…. and tell her straight – THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!! He said that to a kid on Smackdown last week – I was in stitches!!!

STC’s Lee Steadx is right at this time – the hatred that flows through my veins when I see Zeb Colter on-screen… I hate him like Blade hates vampires! Like Shredder hates the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, like women hate each other when they fight over a man!

Now that’s funny… no one wants Cesaro to do the giant swing on Titus O’Neill because he threw up all over the ring on Smackdown last time!

You mean to tell me the WWE Universe voted for the Unified Champion??? Blodclart! Y’all better design a new muthaf***!n belt!

OH NO TRIPLE TEEF IS HERE! Now there is bound to be jokes!!!

I just love how Triple TEEF is clapping with sincerity!!!! And Stephanie got the message that Randall is bigger than the WWE…. but he still doesn’t have the answers!

I also like how Triple named all the greats who have held both titles, which Stephanie ending it with “..to the Game Triple H!!!” TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!!

Well both Randall and Cena put pen to paper, Randall talked about how he brukk up Cena over the years, Cena talked about how Randall became a spoilt b!tch, Tables, Ladders and Chairs all over that b!tch, they brough the ruckus! Beating each other down with the chairs and the ladders, but in the end – Cena with the FU to Orton through a table – BLAOW!!!! Holding both championships like he is gonna be the man!

Now the WWE are using the words unification. Now they guarantee one champion. But why do i have this chilling feeling that both guys will grab a belt, then Triple comes out and takes the both of em…. and claims it as HIS???!!! I’m sorry but when Stephanie emphasised that Triple held both titles… I couldn’t help but smell a rat!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#BIGSHOWKNOCKHIMOUT

 

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Jobber Blogger #79 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 28/11/13

Jobber-Blogge

Well it’s December, in what feels like no time at all. What’s worse is it’s Monday, I am officially well into my Fourth day into my Holiday, only Ten to go. Still, I am at least getting this week’s TNA: Impact written up with a glimmer regularity.

While it may no longer be Thanks Giving, I shall always give thanks to those whom made such a day possible. The American’s love to go out and celebrate their “American” traditions such as Thanks Giving, which has its roots firmly set in the English ways. But like everything they pride themselves on, we started it all! Not that this is a dig at the American culture by any stretch of the imagination, no, I for one would like to give them praise for creating “Black Friday”. Yup, they spend an entire day getting ready to Thank everyone for what they have, and not needing anything more. And then the next day they rush to the Supermarkets and beat the crap out of each other over inadequate pointless cheap deals on superficial materialistic gadgets. God bless America, and their weird, weird ways of living.

…Wrestling!

Impact Wrestling Logo

 TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 28/11/13 

I am however thankful for TNA: Impact Wrestling, and they should be thankful for the UK holding their biggest Audience, what goes around comes around. Anywho! A special themed Thanks Giving show which highlight every year is who wears a silly Turkey suit, which I think sums up Thanks Giving perfectly. If anything, they should make it tradition that all Americans wear Turkey Suits on Thanks Giving and give thanks to all they have. And of course on behalf of the Englishmen who came before me, you’re quite welcome.

American Turkey

You guess it, for famous Americans, all I could think of was Obama, Bieber and Hilton! Huzah you lovely culture you!

Yup, nothing like a good bit of national ribbing and borderline racism to kick off a Blog! I do love a good rant!

Dixie Carter kicked off Impact… again, after a quick nosey through my notes it seems she hasn’t kicked off the show as much times as I’d like to make fun of. But that being said, the fact it feels like she does it every week is enough to make me complain! WRESTLING! DO YOU SPEAK IT?

Dixie’s first order of Business was to name a “Chief of Staff” to help her out in managing the Locker-room.  And I must be honest, I didn’t expect it to be Rockstar Spud, but apparently the British “know how to treat Royalty”.

Regardless of all that though, Spud for some reason has put on an even more over the top British accent, but he actually suits the role. What doesn’t suit the role though however, is the fact his name is Rockstar Spud, he created this whole “Rockstar” gimmick, and now he’s wearing a suit, so it’s a strange blend. I’ve always hated his name, though he is good at what he does. Being an arrogant small British guy is a great way to build awesome heat and for Spud to not only get his name out there , but to be the “fall guy” for Dixie.

Also to be announced are the World Title Tournament Matches – Kurt Angle vs. Magnus – Last Man Standing and Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy – Tables Match. I expect Roode will help Angle lose, and Magnus till take advantage of the situation, then Angle will then play a part in Jeff winning, thus Magnus can fully turn heel against arguably TNA’s biggest Baby Face. But that’s just a guess.

The fact that Dixie now says she has “spun the wheel of Dixie” just makes the idea seem silly from the get go. Surely something went wrong with the spinning wheel, else what was the point.

But that’s little niggly bits in an otherwise awesome concept!

Ethan Carter the Third vs. Curry Man

One of Dixie’s other announcements was the “Winner Winner, Turkey Dinner” that everyone who wins on tonight’s show well be invited to a Thanks Giving meal.

EC3’s current trend is to chose opponents himself, and thankfully this debut has been awesome thus far, I know his matches are rather dull, and despite changing opponents, they are the same. But they debuted Three Wrestlers at the same time in a very clever way I didn’t expect, so big props for that, and now to have Carter choice some classic TNA stars is great also.

Though Curry Man happened to sound a lot like Christopher Daniels, I think that is pure coincidence, though what hair was poking out from under his mask also looked like a cheap party shop wig, but that’s neither here or there. What does matter is that Curry Man can dance! And boy did he!

Nope, that isn’t really all that relevant, so let’s just say, EC3 won in the typical fashion we’ve seen since he turned up at Bound for Glory.

What is worth noting is this:

Free Ticket dude

Velvet Sky vs. Lei’D Tapa (w/Gail Kim)

Despite that this marks Lei’D Tapa’s first match on Impact (aside from her Gut Check debut) TNA didn’t really do a lot to big it up. It’s something I’ve been waiting for since she turned up, personally I think they are building toward a Tapa vs. ODB, which would be an awesome bout for sure.

But that shouldn’t discount Velvet’s abilities, though obviously it’s sort of hard to take Velvet seriously when she goes up against… well anyone. So put her against Tapa and it’s just face palm territory should she gain any type of momentum.

One thing I don’t like about Lei’D Tapa so far is that she talks / shouts during the match, and also during some of her beat downs, I think she comes across much more meaningful and intimidating to just beat you down violently. Though I suppose she needs to talk, else her Ventriloquist act wouldn’t be quite as good?

Tapa Sock puppet

 But alas, Tapa won in what was an impressive “official” debut.

Broman’s (w/DJ Zema Ion) vs. Dewey Barnes and Norv Fernum – Turkey Suit Match?

This all came about when Eric Young confronted the Broman’s and Zema Ion backstage with the Traditional Turkey Suit match. I’ve always been a fan of Robbie E, and obviously Jesse needed to be teamed with him, and thus far they have been awesome! But this segment is the absolute highlight!

Throw Zema Ion into the mix, and it’s perfect! And yes, this means that Zema is back in TNA! Zema left due to an illness but remained on good terms, and now he’s back! I always liked his in-ring skills, but I just couldn’t get into his gimmick. However upgrade that gimmick to work with the Broman’s, and he is awesome! A perfect fit to the team! Give him a DJ deck so he can shout and make stupid noises over their entrance and match is the best thing I’ve seen on Wrestling TV in a long time!

DJ Zema

It seems that Dewey and Norv are going to be sticking around as a Tag-Team, and their new music is still great, though they were defeated in around 20 seconds by the Broman’s, and then forced to dance around in Turkey suits. I think the idea was that they enjoyed the experience. Maybe “Turkey Boyz” as a team name?.. Struttin Wingz, Gobbled and Gooked,…. Weird Birdz?…. Giggly Flap Jacks?

Triumphant Turkeys?

This week’s the “Friends of AJ Styles” segment actually seemed to move things forward as Dixie shouted at AJ, for stealing her title, her property, and he was supposed to go home rather than build this world wide title defence thing. So apparently AJ has one week to return the Championship before she takes serious action. I can’t tell if it’s too soon for AJ to be coming back, or if something else will happen. I think personally we need to forget a little about AJ, and have Dixie rule with no doubt Magnus as Champion for a little while before AJ crashed the party. But I certainly look forward to seeing what they have planned.

Mr. Anderson held a Funeral for The Aces and Eights, which was attended by Samoa Joe, Magnus, Kurt Angle, Eric Young and Mike Tenay… still no Sting?

Though the idea of this segment seems stupid, and yes, it did run a little too long, however it was superb! Wrestling truly is the weirdest mix of everything you can think of, and shows like this week’s was a wonderful refresher of what Wrestling can be. Let’s be honest, since Hogan has been gone, TNA has been amazing… o.O I didn’t think I would say that.

Whilst Anderson and the Priest rattled on about The Aces and Eights, Magnus was on the phone, Joe was eating, EY was in tears! Tenay “Why are you crying?” – EY “I don’t know!”

Though Kurt had to make a stupid speech about D’Lo brown and through a Bobble Head into the casket, which was a little pointless. Joe decided to give them some James Storm Beer, but then handed it out to everyone but not Kurt Angle, which I found rather funny. Mike Tenay places Taz’s Cut into the casket but keeps Brooke’s shorts which he sneaks away into his jacket, which then led to a cut away of Magnus pointing and nodding which was even funnier if I’m honest. And then EY had the Turkey suit which he started crying over.

Bully however crashed the segment, looking like AJ styles in a homeless man kind of way, declaring that this isn’t the “end” it’s the “final awakening” so I hope to see some awesome things between Bully and Anderson which I imagine will be a great feud leading into the new year.

Bobby Roode, Kazarian, Christopher Daniels and Chris Sabin vs. Kurt Angle, James Storm, Gunner and Magnus – Elimination 8-Man Tag

Team Roode vs. Team Angle being the Main Event is an interesting one,  I feel fairly sure that they won’t meet in the Finals of the World Title Tournament, but will remain a top feud in TNA.

However the choice to have the entire Team Angle lose instantly was an odd one. Don’t get me wrong, I love that they did it. I personally hate the old “face looses first but fights back” crap.

The fact that Team Roode dominated the match was great, pinning out Storm and Gunner rather quickly, and then Magnus “hurt his knee”, leaving just Angle to fight.

Kurt did his best, actually building quite an offensive against Team Roode single handily. The numerous Suplexes and Ankle Locks was a great touch, but obviously his odds of Winning was not in his favour. And I love that they didn’t have Angle “defy the odds” instead he just wailed on them all with a Steel Chair, getting himself DQ’d in the process, but that made for a much better ending.

Though it does make Roode look increasingly stronger than Angle, given that Angle defeated himself twice too. It also makes Storm and Gunner look rubbish, given that they spent a good bit of Air-Time to build how powerful Gunner was originally. And no doubt Magnus wasn’t that injured and that will play a part next week when he faces Kurt one on one in the Semi-Finals of the Title Tournament.

Winner, Winner – Turkey Dinner

Spud was in charge of the festive meal, which actually led a good few backstage segments through-out the night where he was complaining from the lack of Fish and Chips, Sunday Lunch and Toad in the Hole. To top it all off was the “Bloody Yanks!” remark.

It’s a bold move of TNA to have their “Thanks Giving” show dominated by Heels. Velvet Sky accompanied Sabin to the Dinner, but was then kicked out, giving Zema Ion a place at the Table. What bugged me the most was Gail Kim sitting at the Table leaving Lei’D Tapa just standing there. I am becoming increasingly more sure that Tapa will eventually turn on Gail in her open challenge.

Bad Influence also kept up the bashing of Joseph Park through-out the show, no doubt this will eventually lead to his return or Abyss or whatever.

Either way, Kurt Angle crashed the Dinner, claiming them all to be losers, and cheated to win! Which actually no one cheated and clearly they all won their match. If anything it makes the good guys look really bad and sore losers. Though that didn’t stop Angle, Gunner, Storm, EY, ODB, Velvet, Norv and Dewey from having a big food fight / brawl to close the show amongst the loud “TNA, TNA, TNA!” Chants from the crowd.

The good ol TNA Chant is something that warms my heart, though I much prefer it when it’s spontaneous from awesome matches, rather than just random good guy vs. bad guy food fights. However this week’s show packed in enough craziness to make it stand out as a great episode of Impact. With the Semi-Finals of the World Title Tournament next week, not to mention AJ’s deadline to hand back the belt, it should continue to be awesome!

TNA’s new direction has been fantastic, so here’s hoping it continues to deliver!

Till then!

Dan.

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

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The Jobber Blogger #78 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – Turning Point – 21/11/13

Jobber Blogger logo2Well, I guess so long for that Saturday tradition. Tuesday night and here I sit Jobbing Blogging till I stop! That’s as much enthusiasm I can muster for an opening Line. I eagerly await my Playstation 4 on Friday, whilst friends game on the Xbox One, rumours fly around about TNA Wrestling, The Jobber Blogger is contemplating many secret plans and Brian Griffin dies. Well I guess that makes for an interesting week? But the real question is TNA: Wrestling an interesting show this week with Turning Point?

TNA Turning Point

 TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – Turning Point – 21/11/13

So one thing I am currently plundering is my “Best of 2013” edition of The Jobber Blogger quickly approaching in only a few weeks time. And of course one of those nifty titles belongs to “PPV of the Year” which I suppose, till now, I hadn’t even thought. Because to most Wrestling Fans, I’m sure the title PPV just means a Special Monthly Show where “poop hits the fan” and not actually something you Pay to View. So technically, there is only 4 to pick from this Year, but enough of that. I will still count all of the Impact TV Specials, and Turning Point, could quite possibly be the best.

Impact kicked off with the “Impact 365 – Where Action Never Ends”  video of Bobby Roode attacking James Storm in a pub the night before, another good thing to come from this whole Social Video idea. Personally I would like to see more things done out of the Arena like this, a good old bar room brawl is nothing but fun to watch. Do you think this might scare Storm sober? I suppose the name “Storm” would at best describe an alcohol fuelled mind set and chaotic competitor. So if he were to be Sober, he would probably be called something along the lines of James Meadow.

James Storm sorry about

Turning Point’s opening Video was also a strong starting off point for the night’s proceedings. When they have had great Storylines and awesome matches lined up, their Video Team is on top form to deliver a great video package, let’s be honest, we get it each and every week, shows the Strength of TNA’s Creative, least from a planning perspective, that which is similar to classic Television Story-Telling, and the Character Arks which are perfectly formed within the Comic-Book medium.

Dixie Carter also opened the show, first backstage with Samoa Joe, telling him that she Watches herself over and over on repeat, which is everything but normal.

Dixie Watch

She however, was not happy with Joe’s performance last week, stepping up and claiming he will defend the Championship against AJ Styles, simply put she threatened him with “never take that tone with me again”. Dixie’s an awesome Heel, a move I certainly wouldn’t have really thought about, she’s a natural at it, and it is perfect, Perfect, to fit in with the “old TNA” storyline with AJ and Joe, and great to balance the “hate” from the Internet Community.

Dixie then hit the ring to promote herself in the new Sports Illustrated magazine.

Sports Illustrated article

She then publically addresses AJ Styles (because you do) and then the whole thing turning into James Storm begging for a “Florida Death match” against Bobby Roode rather than the pesky “Bull Rope Match”. This either means one of two things, the Wheel isn’t actually rigged and they wanted to up the stake, or they soon realised a Bull-Rope match sucks. Either way Storm swore down to still use the Bull-Rope, but he won’t get the police involved from his Bar Room beat down, if Dixie lets him have his way. Nothing like a good bit of Black-Mail, to your boss… who’s a Woman.

Storm Warrior

 Magnus vs. Samoa Joe – Falls Count Anywhere – World Title Tournament

Well this thing got started really well, Joe popped up on the Big Screen and challenged Magnus to get backstage to fight him. It seems TNA were going for an old school / hardcore type of Event, and they delivered. Magnus and Joe tore it up backstage, but it was far too short before they just got back to the ring and made it a normal match.

Given that this tournament started with Sabin and Hardy in what I highly consider a Match of the Year, Angle and Aries didn’t match that level of quality, and this was just so far on the opposite scale it’s kind of funny.

That doesn’t mean that this was bad… though I will go so far as to say the Ending actually was terrible. Joe did however hit with a Suicide Dive through the ropes that looked like Magnus was meant to do something else rather than them both collide with such a high impact.

Still, the ending came when Magnus wedged a Chair between the ropes (whilst on the outside of the ring) and then Joe pretty much ran into it, with very little effort. The chair wasn’t even placed in a good position for it to be an accident, and he slapped his hands on it, fell over and then Magnus won. It’s like lightly pushing a kid in school and he jumps across the grass then looks around before purposely banging his head on the metal PE Shed…. what are the odds?

Samoa Joe Chair

Joseph Park vs. Abyss

Bad Influence kicked this off first by bringing their creative humour front and centre whilst addressing Joseph Park:

Joseph Park Cheese

Park then came out to face the “music” saying he will put all of these wild allegations to rest and that this match will be his “Turning Point”.

Bad Influence stuck around to witness the match, but with Abyss not showing up, they got back in the face of Joseph Park, and the insults were quick, funny, then it got a little thin.

“Bag of Mayonnaise with a Law Degree in a Track Suit” / “Great, great, great, Grandfather, Jurassic Park”.

Bad Influence then became just nasty bullies, rather than nasty, and funny, which is odd. I love Bad Influence, but I guess Park is so good at playing this “Fish out of Water” struggling want to be Wrestler, that people sympathise with his character because of how “innocent” he is. So when Bad Influence just gang up on him and poor blood over him and scream in his face, it became a little hard to watch. Park in the end just walked off with Daniels yelling “Get out of our business”. So I assume this will be the last of Joseph Park for a little while, till Abyss no doubt will probably somehow bring the two together… maybe.

Gail Kim (w/Lei’D Tapa) vs. Candice Larea

I believe I spelt her name right, I did Write it down… but alas, I struggle to read my own Writing.

That about covers all I wrote for the match, though Candice was actually quite good. Personally I want them to bring in some fresh talent to the Knockouts, The Blossoms have always impressed me, but there is no need or room for a Tag-Team, so I don’t know how you would balance them as a Women’s Team in a Singles Division. But although Candice showed she was still learning the ropes per se, she was very good, so who knows?

Either way, Gail obviously won her, and her Open Challenge continues.

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode – Florida Death-Match – World Title Tournament

Okay, so what is the point in calling this a Florida Death-Match, other than to get the Pun for being in Florida. It is a Last Man Standing match, I never get why certain places hold different names for matches we already know. If anything it’s a disappointment, because you hope to see something you haven’t seen before.

Speaking of seeing things you haven’t seen before, they actually Ran a Video Package for this match which actually built from their Beer Money days and ended with Roode winning the World Title. So that’s awesome given that the footage used was 2 years old, and completely irrelevant to what was about to take place.

Still, Roode and Storm have an awesome rivalry, and it’s great to see it going.

I think “Brutal” will sum up this Match, not to the level of their Bound for Glory Street Fight, but they certainly pulled out the stops. What is more important is how much better Roode came across, given that Storm held the advantage before, Roode was the one who not only beat him down in the Pub the night before, but also was the stronger of the two, the more sadistic, dominant and hungrier to win. So it kind of looks like Storm really did himself in for asking for a match he could not win.

Roode’s new “Death-Valley Cutter” move is still being used, so that makes me happy, I love it. He used it to drop Storm through 2 Chairs stood front to front. He then picked him up for the same thing on a Barbed Wire Board, but Gunner threw in the Towel for the Cowboy.

Obviously Storm was annoyed, but Gunner was all “Think of your Career” and we’re supposed to think Gunner was doing the right thing, least that’s the impression I got from Mike Tenay constantly repeating “Gunner did the right thing”. Though Gunner is an ex marine, he’s a tough nut, he wouldn’t want anyone throwing in the towel for him, let alone how weak it makes Storm look. I would be rather happy if they both went their separate ways, with either of them Turning Heel, I think Storm is longer over-due for a Heel Turn, might give him a good boost he sorely needs currently.

Also on the show was a new Video Promo for Sam Shaw, the Gut Check winner whom hasn’t yet been fired, but rather than him wearing silly shorts and trying to be a hip Surfer dude even though he’s well past that age, they have made him smarter, referring to himself as Samuel Shaw, and has a weird interview date with Christy Hemme. He even shows her his Art Portfolio, now I don’t know if he actually drew the pictures, but they’re pretty good, there was even a John Cena one they paused on, so there’s that? But Christy seemed intrigued, and Shaw lifted the next few pages where we saw a Bloody Baseball Bat and Barbed Wire and stuff, and he closed it quickly before Christy could see, then asked her on a Date and got her number.

Well I’m all for creativity, but given that they’ve given him the “My 7 Year Old Child drew Scary Pictures” storyline from every Horror Movie with a Child in it, I shall remain intrigued, and also find it stupid.

Though the idea he has this weird flip side to strange hardcore moments certainly fits with TNA’s current angle, so it could be rather good, time will tell.

Ethan Carter the Third vs. Shark Boy

EC3 invited both Dewey and Norv to the Impact Zone to tell them that their feud is over, I can’t help but think that maybe they will actually stick around, but time will tell.

Having Shark Boy back, which I assume will probably just be a One Off as it has been for years, is still no bad thing.

Typical match though, EC3 has upper hand, underdog builds a comeback, EC3 wins.

More importantly Kurt Angle went to see One Direction, and he even did a Promo with either the lamest Smile, or the best false Smile I’ve seen:

 

Kurt Angle One Direction

Also TNA: Genesis is back, January 16th. But it will be a TV Special, not a PPV.

Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson – No DQ – Club vs. Career

Mr. Anderson has new Ring-Gear, it’s not nearly as snazzy as Magnus’ new attire, but it’s different. I can’t tell if I like it or not. It’s kind of strange seeing him in Tights rather than Trunks, but I don’t dislike it. If anything it’s kind of bland, like HBK’s come back tights from Survivor Series 02.

Bully cuts a Promo on he brining Anderson back, as before The Aces and Eights he was nothing. It’s true, The Aces and Eights breathed new life into Anderson. It’s this that worries me going forward, if they don’t stay on top of it, Anderson will just disappear off TV again, just remaining some Wrestler whose only gimmick is saying his name twice on his entrance.

Anderson didn’t wait for JB’s introduction and speared Bully, also knocking JB down, so it’s win win really.

Either with The Aces and Eights, or just recently without them, Anderson has been on fire, and it showed in this match, he was on the ball, and the crowd were eating it up.

Also Angle, Gunner, Magnus, Samoa Joe and some other dude from the back stood on the Entrance Way to support Andersons battle to finish the Aces and Eights. Where the hell is Sting? Sting started it all, and he built the only defence against them, but he isn’t there to witness their end.

Knux gets involved, as the only active member of the club remaining, so that’s quite good. Though Anderson pile-drivers him on the Floor and pulls off his Cut. I like that TNA aren’t against using the Pile-Driver, but it still worries me watching it, I think for a one-off, it’s fine. But make sure it’s used right, for instance, I trust Bully Ray using it, but Anderson, and with a guy as big as Knux, I mean it looked really fake, but that’s a good thing really.

Bully connected with the Spear through the Table in the corner, just like their No DQ match the first time, Anderson kicked out at two.

Taz then handed a Hammer to Brooke, who threw it in the ring but it went past Bully and Anderson caught it, swinging it in the head of Bully then drops him with the Mic Check and Wins.

Anderson then pulls off his Cut, as Angle, Joe surround Taz and he removes his cut too.

All in all, it was a great show, it’s sad to see the end of The Aces and Eights, but it did run on a bit too long, least with how it was going. If they had made it more interesting, then it didn’t run long enough.18 Months it lasted, and it started super strong and exciting, then increasingly got worse with the odd highlight, then just flat lined and dragged its feet for the majority of its on air presence.

It will always remain an Awesome Idea with huge potential, but the best example of a crap payoff.

Even though I changed my Logo, I think it is only fair that I also turn in my Aces and Eights cut!

TheJobberBlogger Aces and Eights Prospect

TheJobberBlogger

Be interesting to see where Bully goes from now though, and also where Anderson goes, and what Sting’s role will be in all of this. Not to mention the World Title Tournament heats up with Hardy vs. Roode and Angle vs. Magnus.

And of course the return of one AJ Styles.

Till Then.

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

Monday Night Raw #1070: November 25, 2013!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

Monday Night Raw #1070: November 25, 2013!!!

F**K AN INTRO!!! I think what happened at Survivor Series after Raw went off the air told the story:

Watch from 19:52…

I hope Vincent Kennedy turns up!!!! RAW #1070: HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZShout out to Mad Dog Vachon….Live On Live Long my dude…

Michael Strahan is this weeks host???? Say whaaaaat?? I wanna shot at being a Raw host! Imagine that!!!

Why are the crowd chanting Daniel Bryan in this first segment??? GET OVER IT muthaf***az – Bryan was teefed, you want a switch up – you complain. Bryan and Orton feuded for 3 months – YOU said it was getting boring… to quote Mike Knoxxx: “WHY DO YOU WATCH WRESTLING???”

Looks like we are gonna get that title unification match a lot sooner than we anticipated!!! John Cena Vs Ladies Favourite Randall Orton in a TLC match at the TLC PPV in three weeks??? Suddenly TLC is already better than Survivor Series!!!

Straight away – who y’all backing??? I’m going for Randall all the way!!!!! You wanna know why? Because the Royal Rumble is coming. Now we know that the winner goes to WrestleMania to face one champion. There will no longer be 2. That also means that the Brand Extension is DEAD!!!!! What do you think of that Brand Extension fans???? YOU B!TCHES!!!!

Undertaker has a message for the Brand Extension:

Big ups to the Shield who brukk up the Rhodes Family and Rey Mysterio… Roman Reigns is STILL DA MAN!!! I see you IWC b!tches putting up debates on when the Shield gon break up…. I thought you wanted them to fight the Wyatt man dem???? Listen to yourselves!!!! Get out the basement and hit the gym…. d!ckheads!!!!

So hold up… if Michael Strahan is the guest on Miz TV and The Miz is the host, WHO is the host???? I don’t think the fans care here….

Makes a change that Titus O’Neill is actually wearing something sensible in a formGRANT - BODY - P of a suit…. not that pink brief sh!t that he and his partner be wearing!

Hold up – is The Miz challenging Strahan to a wrestling contest??? A wha de rarse??? OH SNAP – Strahan just did a hip toss on The Miz???? RAH-TID! Ok own up – how long did you practise that move in the Performance Center????

OH SNAP!!!!! Big E Langston and my hero Mark Henry tag team????? Whoever the opponent is – they DEAD!!!!! Oh it’s Axel and Ryback??? Oh dear they gon lose again!!!! I didn’t even hear their music hit!!!

Oh my days Henry & Langston straight killin em! Henry with the World’s Strongest Slam to Curtis Axel – BLAOW!!!!!! THATS WHAT I DO!!!!

We gonna have a rematch with the Total Divas Vs AJ Lee’s Divas???? So good like New York you gotta name it twice!!!! Mike Dogg wins again, you IWC b!tches LOSE!!!!

Guess what else is back other than Mark Henry: My chocolate pudding baby! Taste like Cameron & Naomi!

SAM_2311

I wanna see Eva Marie fight again!!! She better do a wrestling move this time!

Damn Tamina took out my Nubians ONE TIME!!! Before I could say ‘sweeeeeet!’

WHOA!!! JoJo eliminated Tamina????? BACKSIDE! Eva Marie eliminated Alicia Fox??? BACKFOOT!!!!

Brie Bella eliminated AJ????? I smell a fatal 4 way now!!! Natalya pinned her, so did Naomi!!!

OH NO! The crowd want Summer Rae to twerk it – twerk it!!!! That can’t be all she good fa! Bella Twins doing the worm… All they need is Kharma/Awesome Kong to join them and be the ‘Rikishi’ of the crew! That would be cool!!! (see what I did there???)

What I wanna know is, what is the difference between a street fight and a hardcore match???? Answers on a postcard please! Tweet answers @MZATheInfamous! Damien Sandow Vs Dolph Ziggler…. Backing Sandow here! Don’t let me down son!!!

Michael Cole – why the f**k did you say ‘shades of attitude era’ during this match??? You want the attitards to start reaching for their lower extremities and start pleasuring themselves???

Yes!!! My boy came through!!!! Sandow with the ‘You’re Welcome’ super move on Ziggler onto the trash can – BLAOW!!!! F**k you Ziggler fans! (people called him the next Shawn Michaels….IDIOTS!!! HAHAHA!!!)

Clearly Michael Strahan put that goat mask on and never realised he could be following the buzzards!!!! He fears NO MAN but GOD!!! Looked at the Wyatt dude as if to say – what’s up homes???!!!

I love that they give Renée Young ring time now…. as an announcer that is. She is so fine – OHHHHHH!! Front Way – Back way – Side way – I’d TEAR DAT @$$ UP!!!

I like this promo right here… every question Punk asks, Daniel Bryan & the crowd respond – YES! But the killer question he asked was ‘isn’t it ironic that we are asking the questions – and Renée Young is holding a microphone asking nothing?’ YES!!!!

I gotta question then – is Renée Young a sexy muthaf***a who needs a good f**k??? YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

Punk & Bryan Vs The Wyatt man dem – LET’S GO!!!

You know I’m watching this match…. and I’m beginning to think that these Wyatt mans aren’t as good as they are made out…. like their psychology is good with their gimmick and all that, but their wrestling skills are not as refined as The Shield…. you nah mean? Like their fighting style comes off as sloppy, or maybe that was the idea, sloppy -but effective.

Quote of the night from JBL: “The WWE Universe are very smart Michael (Cole), don’t underestimate them…” So THE GRANT SAYS – Why does the script writers write certain storylines and expect us to forget certain aspects of history????

It’s all gone buckwild and the ref just shut down the match… but watch da ride – the Wyatt man dem have taken Daniel Bryan away, while the Shield brukk up CM Punk!!! One year ago that would never happen! Triple Powerbomb through the canvas – BLAOW!!!!! Lawd have mercy – I have NO IDEA where this is going heading into TLC! How unpredictable was that??!!!

Oh hell to the naw!!!! the Miz out-wrestled Kofi Kingston twice??? CHU!!!! I’m tired as a muthaf***a… but the difference is – you lot can go to bed. I must continue entertaining my readers!!!!

YES!!! The Funkadactyls are back!!! This time with Xavier Woods!!! This is great!!! That’s why they got eliminated quickly earlier! But finally my girls come out with someone sensible… does this mean Albert and Broadus are future endeavoured???? I HOPE SO!!! Gwarn Xavier! Brukk up that idiot Slater! YES!!! THAT’S WHAT’S UP! Shout out to R-Trizzy!!!!

Yo that new DVD looks like a MUST HAVE in every wrestling fan’s collection! WWE 50 Year history… go COP THAT SH!T!!!!

WWE 50 Years

I bet Michael Strahan must be cussing in his mind when he had the Bellas, Funkadactyls and Eva Marie throwing their pu$$y at him… but then he turns round and sees Goldust!!!! NOOOOOOOOO! That dude scares me rude boy! All that segment needed was Ron Simmons to appear at the side……….

Damn

Good to see the WWE Universe have sense when they are ready, naming Stone Cold Steve Austin as The Rock’s greatest WrestleMania Rival…haha you gotta love WWE for keeping The Rock’s name in their mouth, sweetening him to appear at WrestleMania XXX!!! He will be there… to those who don’t think he will be there… just remember who I am: the chocolate pudding eating, diva loving, last true hip hop standing, sword swinging Infamous Informer!!!

Ok the main event that Strahan set up… Ladies favourite – Randall Orton and Referee Tonya’s favourite – Bertie Vs The Big Show and John Cena… a man who has earned even more of my respect since he gave Nikki Bella his moment of clarity on Total Divas!

Shout out to STC’s Lee Steadx – his ‘hatred’ for Cena had him write this on the Raw live thread:

“my fantasy raw ending would be taker coming down with a casket putting cena in it and nailing it shut!!”

With that one comment, that made me think – the WrestleMania XXX storylines are being written before our very eyes RIGHT NOW!

Bwoy too many blows in Big Show’s head side nearly had the ref stopping this match…. what a good thing Big Show tagged Cena in the 9th inning… Cena had Bertie tapping like a b!tch but Randall thought – f**k that and blasted Cena with the belt – BLAOW!!!!

I’m making this early prediction right now – based on Steadx’s vision – Randall will WIN the title unification match… which means either Punk or Bryan will win the Rumble – Cena will either fail or compete in a WWE Undisputed Championship. There is no purpose of the Elimination Chamber unless the WWE Undisputed title is defended… which leads to WrestleMania, where Cena will compete in a major match – not WWE title. Either against the Undertaker like Cena kinda wished for, or in another ‘dream’ match.

Now time to go in the booth on the BDSIR Network…

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#BIGSHOWKNOCKHIMOUT

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.

Monday Night Raw #1069: November 18, 2013!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

So this week it’s a country music special…. WHAT???? NOBODY LISTENS TO THAT SH!T!!! I remember there used to be a cable channel dedicated to that over here and a week later it got shut down! Plus I remember LL Cool J working with a racist country music artist and they tried to tell us to forget our slavery past and come together… er… NO LL, that sh!t 400/500+ years ago is UNFORGETTABLE. Why? Because it has brought us to this point today. We were told to NEVER FORGET our war heroes but FORGET about our ancestors that went through slavery and captivity??? GETTHEF**KOUTTAHERE!!

If you like country music, more power to you. It’s not my taste, but more power to you. You won’t find it here, this is RePPiN4U: Represent The Real Hip Hop presents this weeks Monday Night Raw, hosted by the Hip Hop living, Sword Swinging, Doo Rag Wearing, Diva Loving, Wrestling Fan Hating, Infamous Informer – GRANT BODY – P!!!

We gotta try to get this money, Survival Hungry! RAW #1069! HOLD DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

 

 

 

 

YES!!! Punish the GMs! Punish their blodclart!!! Both Brad Maddox and Vickie Guerrero are WACK! Triple made Maddox face Randall, and Vickie had to face AJ Lee!!! Now THAT IS BEST FOR BUSINESS!!! I KILL DEM!!!!

I’m sorry where are my manners! How was your vacation Triple & Steph? I hope it was WELL DESERVED!

So here’s Maddox trying to get away from Randall, but he get ketch… and as Survivor Series is on the horizon, Maddox wants to survive… so he clapped down Randall… Randall dropped and looked as if to say – “HOW DARE YOU HIT ME!!! Now I’m gonna f**k you up!!!” Like when Han sliced Bruce Lee with his claw in Enter The Dragon and Bruce tasted his blood…. BAD MOVE!!!

Is it me or was the Tennessee crowd weak??? If this was Manchester UK fans would be wilding!!!

Good God Almighty Ladies Favourite Randall f**ked up Maddox! And that’s without kicking him in his head!!!

Yes! Here’s the match we were supposed to have at the last PPV and Curtis Axel ‘had an injury’ and suddenly couldn’t defend his title – but we get it now! Curtis Axel! Big E Langston! INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP – LET’S GO!

Dammit that has gotta be one of my favourite moves of Langston! Run one way, run to the other side – come back – Warrior splash – BLAOW!!!! You see you muthaf***az run down the Ultimate Warrior but you cheer when Langston busses that move…Jazz Kumar you feel me tho right!!!

Straps down! Set up! An emphatic BIG ENDING – BLAOWWWWWWW!!!!

BIG E LANGSTON – NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!!!!BIG E Champion

I don’t think Axel pulled a punch back! Even Maddox did a better job against Randall! No wonder Paul Heyman left your stankin @$$!!! All I heard was Langston don’t hit me no more!!! BIG E!!!

Ok… so what’s the deal with this musical chairs rubbish??? Does the winner have a divas title shot or something? They gotta walk round the chairs to a crappy @$$ country song? Well I love the divas so f**k you and f**k the stupid girl in the corner of the video…she looks dopey as a muthaf***a! She should be grateful she’s on the Infamous Informer blog! KMT!

I love hip hop, hate country music B.U.T. love the divas in their country music gear… OH YEAAAAAHHHH!

Natalya is the first one out… well you don’t wanna play that stupid game anyway you are a WRESTLER!

Next out: Alicia…well that’s what you get for spreading the word about Natalya p!$$!ng herself in the ring in front of the millions…(AND MILLIONS!!) of Grant’s fans!!

Come on girls back to the game! What’s all the pushing and shoving for??? There’s plenty chairs for you!

OH SNAP!!! They all decide to fight!!!! Chris Rock was right all along! Women can NEVER rule the world because Women hate Women!!!!

Now there’s a 7 Vs 7 divas Survivor Series match!! Hip Hop Hooray!!! Total Divas Vs AJ Lee’s divas!!! THAT’S THE MATCH I’M MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO! F**k everything else!!!

(GRANT BODY – P!!!)Survivor Series poster 2013

If the rumours are true that WWE are planning to have Brock go against Ryback, the match may not be that bad as the dumb IWC are making it out… I say that because I’m watching Ryback Vs Big Show and….. oh wait a minute…..

Ryback with the Shell Shock to Big Show – BLAOWWW!! Here’s the cover – 1, 2, and….

NOBODY’S EVER DONE THAT!!! NOBODY’S EVER KICKED OUT, OF THE RYBACK’S SHELL SHOCK!!!

What you gonna do now Ryback????? Tries to pick the dead weight up, Big Show recovers a little, pushes Ryback against the ropes – bounces back – PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! Punched Ryback through school buses! Ryback lose again!!!! Deary deary me!!!!

Hold up – Randall where you going? Big Show with a spear – BLAOW!!!! What was you thinking lad??? All that momentum on the Big Show and that’s what you do? Yo them voices in your head are not communicating well!

Ahhh nice, something to read while The Real American b!tches are fighting The Miz & Kofi Kingston…

Dwayne Johnson ‏@TheRock 18 Nov

Armed w/ ambition and a bad haircut.. today in 1996, I made my WWE début in Madison Square Garden. #ForeverGratefulpic.twitter.com/dNTVk6Wh34

THE GRANT SAYS: SALUTE! TEAM BRING IT FOR LIFE! F**K these traitors and hypocrites!!!

OH SNAP!!! The Miz has turned evil against Kofi Kingston!!! Now it feels like we just rewound back a year!!! Now I can get back to cussing The Miz’ rarse!!! Oh happy days!!!!

HA! HA! HA! Can you believe Vickie Guerrero tried to get out of fighting AJ Lee? A year ago she was bullying AJ Lee out of her GM role! Look at her now, faking dehydration like a b!tch! The medics find it funny that her blood pressure and all that is normal… so Stephanie dropped it like this – Yep – Vickie looks in a bad way, you must take her to the hospital straight away – RIGHT AFTER YOU TAKE HER TO THE RING!!!

DROP THE BOMB ON EM!!!

Vickie yuh goose cook now! Now GET IN THE RING!!! ……..and SHUDDUP!!!

GRANT - BODY - PI’m loving this!!! AJ! TAMINA! GET HER!!! BRUKK HER UP!!!

Listen to the crowd! Oh they’ve come alive now!!! AJ! AJ! AJ! STAMP HER OUT! Remember how she treated you last year! Now you’re the Divas champion! DO IT!!! KILL HER!!! KILLLLLLLLLLL HERRRRRRRR!!!!! Look at AJ walking around thinking about it! This is a year in the making! Vickie is still tryna get out of it! What – she needs water??? GIVE THE B!TCH GASOLINE!

Oh… I think she’s okay now she can continue… RING THE BELL! Oh hang on Vickie is gonna make a run for it – OH SNAP – ran right into Tamina!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! That’s the funniest sh!t I’ve ever seen!!!! It was like I heard this –

THIS HAD ME ON THE FLOOR! This is straight Simpsons sh!t!!!! How the hell did Tamina not laugh during that!!!!

Maybe Tamina has a heart… she ‘let’ Vickie go… but she told AJ to GET HER! Look at AJ – skipping after Vickie!!!! OH SH!T!!! GET BACK INNA DE RING!!!

AJ is straight toying with the b!tch!!! Assuring her that it’s ok!!! OH NO – The Black Widow super move!!! That was quality! It would be even better if AJ gave her a good battering as well! Best segment of the night – F**K YOU WRESTLING FANS!

(GRANT BODY – P!!!)

What’s going on here? Dolph Ziggler Vs Damien Sandow in a Country Music hardcore match? That’s it Sandow! lick down Ziggler with de chello!!!

Oh no Sandow why do you let Ziggler do the Double J move and lick you in the head with the guitar??? You acted without the benefit of intellect you ignoramus!

WTF was Cena doing with his arm in a sling? Oh seen!!! I get it! He baited Bertie in!!! His arm is ok! He’s SUPER CENA!!! Ok nice confrontation… NEXT!!!!

Hold on – what’s this??? Xavier Woods joined the main roster???? This is BIG!! Let me see his wrestling skill…

Rhinestone Cowboys? So it’s Country Music Vs Hip Hop right??? Ok this should be good, I hope justice prevails here…

YES Xavier! It’s Morphin Time! GWARN MY YOUT!!! F**kouttahere Country Music! I have an idea, why don’t the NXT Guys have a traditional Survivor Series match??? Mike Knoxxx you feel me though right! The other thing – When are The Ascension gonna join the main roster?

WWE2K14 gamers! GET TO CREATING XAVIER WOODS if you haven’t done so already!

OH HELL TO THE NO! What is this country music rubbish? GET OFF THE STAGE! Let me show you real music…

Just as I feared; CM Punk/Bryan/Rhodes Bros/Usos Vs Shield/Wyatts on Raw… this was the match that we all wanted at Survivor Series… look how epic this is… and it’s not on a PPV jump off… all I’m saying WWE is if you falter at Survivor Series and the fans b!tch about it I can’t defend you this time…

Hold up – The muthaf***!n fake American b!tches? Why the f**k are they involved? Oh yeah I remember the science – those b!tches are with the Shield against Usos and The Rhodes but a mystery partner… I heard y’all guessing, from Sheamus, to Mark Henry, I heard some far-fetched ones like Matt Hardy and Undertaker… but if you REALLY DID THE KNOWLEDGE it wasn’t really that hard…

There’s the mystery partner right there!!! Rey Mysterio! Haha JBL is still bex at Rey for what he did at WrestleMania 25! “what’s he doing here???” Damn he knows how to hold a grudge doesn’t he????

I don’t know which Wyatt bwoy it was, but Rey dialled up the 619 on his @$$, then got put to sleep by CM Punk, not before Danielson came through with his YES knee – BLAOW!!!!

THE GRANT SAYS THIS: Was that the real reason they didn’t do the big 6 vs 6 Survivor Series jump off? Well it’s not entirely forgivable, but I will be watching live anyway… but where??? That is the question. If the rumours of heavy snow is true by then… mi nah move from mi yard tuh blodclart!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#BIGSHOWKNOCKHIMOUT

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Jobber Blogger #77 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 14/11/13

Jobber Blogger Spray

I guess Saturdays are the new Monday.. well, with regards to having time to Write, rather than the horrible feeling of dread when it comes to School, Work or the Dole Office (say hi to AJ for me).

Of course, it probably isn’t a good thing that my Blog brings with it a certain amount of Dread, that should be something I should correct, but time is of the essence, and the best thing about essence is that it carries a Distinct Smell. Sort of like Disinfectant, least only by the fact they share the same opening 3 letters.

I guess I could make a Disinfectant themed Jobber Blogger banner, I shall add it in my Ponder Basket and see what happens after I re-evaluate my “Can’t Be Arsed” Basket’s current dilemma.

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 14/11/13

TNA did a good job of keeping up its current standards. Since Bound for Glory the show has felt much more polished, even if it hasn’t quite gathered the initial excitement from the first show to follow the PPV. It’s certainly much better than having a big ranting issue about things coming just short of expectations.

The Aces and Eights kicked off Impact showing their new “aligned” faction. Part of me feels there were multiple ways this could have gone, BFG itself looked as if The Aces and Eights were going to show up in full effect once more, given Bully’s backstage promo had him talking to “unseen” former members. Then no one came to his aid, and Impact following looked as if Garret and Knux were responsible for getting Anderson out of Jail, and Anderson taking charge as a possible new leader. Then all of that was reversed to undo all of this “internal heat” and just keep Aces and Eights together as a faction.

Either way, I think it is safe to say The Aces and Eights are finished as of next week. Bully accepted Anderson’s match, and Anderson raised the stakes to if he wins The Aces and Eights disband, and if Bully wins, Anderson will leave TNA for good. Through in some nice heartfelt threats like “I would love to Pile-Drive you’re pregnant wife” and you have the opening of the show, with of course some lovely fighting to boot!

Knux vs. Anderson

Anderson didn’t want to wait till next week to get his hands on The Aces and Eights, so an impromptu match was added pitting Anderson against Knux. I think it’s fairly safe to say Anderson will be winning next week, though an unexpected twist or turn would be a lovely addition. Still, Anderson won’t be leaving just yet. I worry that if Anderson does the whole “solo” thing once more, will he go back to just being boring and irrelevant as he was before he joined The Aces and Eights. You need to find that sweet spot with him, and it’s between being Face and Heel, more Heel than Face is where Anderson thrives. He needs the old Stone Cold type backstage segments and great promo’s to keep him afloat.

As for the match at hand, Anderson spent the majority of it getting picked apart by Knux. Still seems like we’ve never really had a chance to see Knux be himself, I personally didn’t care till he stepped up with some great promo’s against Bully, but I would bet after next week we probably won’t see much of him again.

I can’t help but feel there is so much un tapped potential within the Faction, but on average I guess they didn’t hit it big with the audience, and they have probably dragged this all out far too much. The Aces and Eights will always remain as a stupid themed faction with awesome potential, that never ever achieved the heights people thought it would.

Anderson in the last second caught Knux with the Mic Check and won the match.

Also the mic check sucks, I’ve never understood that move, or even the desire for that to be you’re finisher. It looks awkward and messy to set up, and the payoff is minimal. But then Sting managed to make a Reverse DDT a Finishing Move, and that sucks just as much.

Christopher Daniels vs. Joseph Park

It seems a lot of “Story telling” is now going to be told by the Wrestlers themselves in their own time with these “365 – Where Action Never Ends” short videos. A novel idea, but if it pays off or not in the long run is what will be the deciding factor. On a personal level I find my own attention to Social Media to be lacking, it’s a cesspool of cowardly hate, and pathetic attempts to market apologies to anyone who should be remotely offended to the slightest thing.

Still, Park challenged Daniels because he through his Apple-Tini in his face last week. So Daniels in his own little video with Kazarian and later Roode, accepted, in his own hilarious manor of “He looked thirsty, so I gave him a drink, his stamina has always been in question”.

The story of Joseph Park is an odd one, I guess more on this later? But he seems much more capable in the ring, I know he’s been getting better. But straight away he seemed “confident or efficient” where as I only remember him being better, but anxious.

Joseph Park has also probably run his course, and really, when it’s all said and done, he is a great Character and extremely well played, but people want Abyss, and they want this to “go” somewhere. Rather than remain as stagnant as it currently is.

Daniels landed a Low-Blow on Park, and picked up the Win.

Ethan Carter the Third vs. Norv Ferman and Dewey Barnes – 2 on 1 Handicap Match

In what at first seemed like you’re basic run of squash matches, they have cleverly introduced 3 new Wrestlers. Whether or not Norv and Dewey will remain once EC3 has been “developed” remains to be seen. Either way, Norv and Dewey, little by little are getting more over with the audience, so a possible Team is not out of the Question.

What is more exciting though was the plugging of Playstation 4’s Launch Party Event on Spike TV following Impact. So I hope that helped pay off with some ratings. I would love to see Impact and Playstation form a type of Marketing Team. My favourite Games Company meets my Favourite Wrestling Company, it’s perfect!

Also EC3 won.

PS4

 Well thankfully it seems that this “Friends of AJ Styles” thing is actually planted in the show, rather than it just being ran. I am pleased Dixie acknowledges this, because it annoyed me a little last week.

CONTINUED!

Yes, I took the rest of Saturday off, something about a String of early mornings and late nights at work seemed to have defeated me yesterday. I went from feeling rather “with it” to a more tired, rushing type of sense. And all of you don’t read this for rubbish purposes! You read this to be entertained, to laugh, to smile, to hate me and never read it again.

So yeah, Dixie had a big Stink over the Friends of AJ Styles’ video updates, and she is determined to get to the Bottom of it. So much so that we even have a clip of her on Impact’s “Where Action Never Ends” Storming out of a Spike TV meeting, as they stated that AJ has a “share” of TV Time slotted to him. I personally would have used that time to just stand still and fart with a stupid expression, but I guess showing the Title Defence’s makes sense too?

Dixie then headed to the ring to talk about her “Most Brilliant Heavyweight Championship Tournament in Wrestling History”, for the record, it is a great idea! What makes it even better is she goes on to say “last week Jeff Hardy defeated… someone”. So I guess she didn’t watch the show.. or she forgot? But can we blame her? Really, it was Chris Sabin?

Forgetting Sabin

Dixie went on to announce the Match Stipulations between Storm and Roode, Joe and Magnus. Storm and Roode will compete in a “Bull rope Match” which I assume means they are tied together. Always been a rather “silly” idea, but there have been a few which have worked out alright. I have 100% faith in Storm and Roode to tear it down, but whilst on the topic of them both, Storm looked like a Main Event guy again this week. He has a great style, awesome in the ring, and he’s gotten so much better on the mic, it’s just a shame he has been bogged down in meaningless stories of late, so hopefully some higher calibre feuds are in his future.

Joe and Magnus on the other hand will compete in a “Falls Count Anywhere” Match, whether or not these two will go full on with their physicality is unknown, given that they might play the “mutual respect” angle, before Magnus fully turns it up. Either way, Magnus will be winning this one, and I would bet Roode will beat Storm too.

However Samoa Joe wasn’t finished, as he took this time to get on Dixie’s case about her “Bad Business Decisions” and Joe is determined to Win this Tournament and then he will defend the TNA Championship against AJ Styles, wherever in the world, like any honourable champion would. This marks the first time anyone has actually stood up for AJ, so yay Joe? I still think Joe, or Storm, Hardy (because he has too) and maybe even Angle would have dropped out of the Tournament in favour of AJ’s recent quest for change.

Gail Kim (w/Lei’D Tapa) vs. Hannah Blossom

Hot on the heels of Gail’s “open challenge” from last week, TNA Boot-camp star Hannah Blossom makes her first TNA appearance since the London Shows back in February. It’s nice to know she’s still around, and this seems like as good a time as any to Plug a Podcast I did late last year once more! So have it!

Although Hannah actually put up a good showing, it was Gail who obviously took the win, with the help of her Figure Four on the outside around the Ring Post, and then of course “Eat Defeat” for the pinfall.

But perhaps the biggest thing to mention was that I believe the Crowd were Chanting:

Lei'd Tampon

 Joseph Park came back to the ring, stating that he first came to TNA over a Year and a Half ago when he was searching for Abyss. Funny how he never actually found him and then since that point hasn’t bothered trying to find him. All I remember is that “Abyss” warned him that if he gets too close to the fire he will get burnt, and that he should stay away. And he didn’t stay away, and he was fine because of it. I am sure this was supposed to play into the Aces and Eights storyline, but nothing happened, so who knows.

Anywho, he loves the fans and can’t leave, blah blah blah. It seems after all this time, it’s only Bad Influence who have upset him, claiming he will never be as good as his “brother”, and to prove a point to himself, he is at least going to try. So Park challenges Abyss to a match next week.

This is interesting though, it’s like Undertaker vs. Undertaker, or Kane vs. Kane. Only this one is actually slightly more creative, given that he is playing both Characters, and doing so extremely well. They will either get a double to play as Abyss, or something more exciting will happen where he starts to come to terms with he is, his brother.

Austin Aries vs. Kurt Angle – World Title Tournament – Submission Match

Should I find it funny that Angle wore the “Main Event Mafia” T-shirt to the ring after they disbanded last week, maybe he didn’t want to be left on his own? Or maybe he just didn’t get the Memo?

MEMO

Before this match gets underway, it is cut to go backstage, earlier on in the night The Aces and Eights wanted to cheer up Knux for losing, and all decided to go to the Strip Club, then Anderson got Garret who was stood in a corner by himself for some reason. Anderson handcuffed him, and then un-handcuffed him and carried him away. Makes sense…

Everyone knows Kurt Angle is great, but Impressive is the word I use on Austin Aries, I suppose Angle was impressive when he went into “Wrestling Machine” mode rather than being the silly Heel he started out as. But Aries just has “everything” in his arsenal.

Bobby Roode made his way to the Entrance Ramp and sat atop the stage watching the match, causing certain distractions for Kurt. And no, he wasn’t sat there making Arm-Pit trumps… although

Aries and Angle had a good match though, no doubt about it. Not on the same level as Angle and Roode, and not on the same level as Hardy and Sabin had last week. Angle countering Aries’ fast paced Dropkick into an Ankle lock was awesome, Aries’ set up of Dropkick / Brain-Buster and Last Chancery is always impressive. The best chain of moves came with Aries’ attempting a 450 Splash from the top rope, but Angle moved, Aries went to Roll through, but couldn’t with his ankle “injured”, Kurt grabbed him for an Angle Slam, which Aries countered mid move to a front face lock, once again looking for the Last Chancery.

The end came with Angle using the “Cross-Face” Roode’s finishing Submission, to get Aries to Tap-Out.

To finish the Show, Anderson came out straight after with a beaten down Garret Bischoff, Anderson then proceeded to Pile-Drive Bischoff on the entrance ramp, leaving Roode and Angle looking on in shock. Anderson then tore off Garret’s Cut.

Overall Impact was a strong show this week, and with Turning Point coming in fast for next Thursday’s Impact back in Orlando, it’s going to get even better.

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode – Bull rope Match

Samoa Joe vs. Magnus – Falls Count Anywhere

Anderson vs. Bully Ray – No DQ – Club vs. Career

Joseph Park vs. Abyss

Just to name a few, personally, I can’t wait!

Till then.

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

 

The Jobber Blogger #76 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 7/11/13

November 9, 2013 by DiVineDiablo

Jobber Blogger 7 11

I am on the Ball! Not literally, I tend to find chairs work best at a desk, though I have often contemplated sitting on one of those bouncy exorcise balls and rolling up the hip count, like Dwight. By now I expect everyone to realise that I speak utter crap, and obviously the very thought of Exorcise should tickle your thought bones! A Wrestling Fan being into Exorcise, hah! I think not, as I sit on my arse to watch over an hour of Wrestling a week stuffing my face with Strawberry Laces and the most movement I get is writing down pitiful, pointless, irrelevant comments for my Weekly Blog!

Yes! It Is I! The most pitiful, pointless, irrelevant Wrestling Blog on the Internet! Shove that in your Sock Holes! BRING IT ON!

Impact Wrestling Logo

 TNA: IMPAT WRESTLING – 7/11/13

Yup… if my “bothered” o-meter actually vibrated with productive tendencies, I might have actually got the “Chutzpah!” to make a Seven Eleven related Banner. Why is that even relevant? It’s not… really, that’s the short answer. I was playing that “Logo Quiz” game on my Phone and I got stuck on it, and I knew what it was, but all I kept entering was “Twenty Four Seven” damn you GTA and the years you’ve ruined my chances at Logo Quiz Games! It’s not violence that has sunk into my mind, it’s the incorrect names for shops, like I often question is it GAP or ZIP… which one was the less stupid of the two to be a Real Shop.

Dixie is seen backstage with, and I quote my notes accurately “Black Dude” when Anderson confronts her, asking for a Match with Bully Ray. Dixie of course is happy to play along as Bully has been the “Butt” in her thigh for quite some time now, letting AJ Styles make a mockery of her. Funny enough though, it’s literally Swings and Roundabouts because AJ Styles made a mockery of himself, or at least his “Friends” did, but more on that later.

Also I do believe that the new Voice Over guy sounds a lot like the Grindhouse Movie dude, and if that is true…. I am in heaven and I take back all of my criticism of his vocal chords and I shall kiss his blood stained shoes and concealed deadly weapon coat tails to the day I decide not to. Which might also be the same day I decided to take part… coincidently of course.

Main Event Mafia kicked off this week’s Impact, at least the “in ring” opening of the show, in what I would like to say is the best thing the Main Event Mafia has done… ever. And that’s to say “We not going to be a faction anymore” YES!!! This show is off to a great start.

Sting took centre stage to say that MEM was formed once again to Dethrone Bully Ray and to stop The Aces and Eights, and mission accomplished. Well yeah, I guess, but not really. Bully doesn’t have the title, true, but The Aces and Eights are still around, albeit a much worse version of what they once were. The idea that they needed to be stopped is just ridiculous anyway, they haven’t been a threat to anyone in over 6 Months.

Sting though is off on his new journey to Battle “Entitlement” which is as good a time as any to point out that:

Entitlement:

“to give somebody the right to have or to do something”

“to assign a title to something such as a book”

“to confer an official position or honour on somebody that brings a particular title with it”

Well, on the heels of last week where Sting made no sense and angrily left Dixie’s office to whine and do what she said in the first place, I am thinking Sting’s new journey is of course to assign a title to something such as a book.

TNA Sting Book WWE Logic Wrestling

He did however make a point to have “Respect for the ones who came before you” to which he then Hugged Kurt Angle telling him he loved him, and then Hugged Samoa Joe telling him the same. He then tapped Magnus and walked away. Which to be honest, Magnus hasn’t really done anything wrong at this point, so it makes Sting look more of a sore loser, also no one really cares all that much, but I like the tension building between the two, so I approve.

Either way, no one likes Seeing Sting walking around with Shades and a Suit, what kind of look is that? Of course it could be worse as some horrible fan in the crowd pointed out, mocking the legacy of Sting.

Sting TNA Sign Bat

It’s either he was mocking him… or his Art really sucks…

Joe however had the best exit speech saying “we’re great friends, but I want to remind you why we make better enemies”.

Magnus blabbed about Winning the Title Tournament and going through Angle if he needs to, blah blah blah. Then Kurt whined some more about how his own moves defeated him against his Matches with Roode, and that he needs to Win the World Championship (for some reason again) to think himself worthy of the Hall of Fame. Of course, this all makes no sense, I don’t even know why half of these guys are willing to participate in the Title Tournament, surely Joe, Storm, Hardy, Angle etc would be on AJ’s side and refuse, and recognise him as the true World Champ?

Still, Angle’s rant caused Bobby Roode to come out and feel Embarrassed for Kurt who is “making excuses” this turned into a big Fight, that was on and off again for the rest of the show. At one point Angle remained in the ring on a chair and said he will wait all night, or even till next week if he has too, which is funny, because in TV World, next week is an hour and a bit away for Angle.

In the end MEM and EGO team mates tore Roode and Angle apart, then Kaz and Daniels attacked these Black Dudes in the crowd, the very same from the opening of the show, I’m not trying to be racist, I don’t know who he is. Turned out he’s PacMan…. which seems incorrect to me on many different levels…

Pacman Jones TNA

Also why is he taking a Dump?

Velvet Sky vs. Brooke vs. ODB – Knockouts Championship – #1 Number-One Contender

I think it is safe to say, no one cares anymore. The Knockouts Division looks awful currently, yes Lei’D Tapa is a fantastic addition, but she’s done nothing currently, and also “currently” her position looks as if she will be firmly kissing Gail’s backside for the foreseeable future… possibly.

Which means I am sick of Velvet, Brooke and ODB being in EVERY Match. But hey, they have no one else left, so they might need to work on that.

The main point of this match is for Gail and Tapa to keep getting involved, and then they just beat everyone up. The highlight however was a very intense face off between Lei’D Tapa and ODB who did not hold anything back as they wailed on each other. And no, I don’t mean in a literal alternative meaning / spelling sense.

ODB vs Lei'd Tapa

Gail then said she has beaten everyone in the Division, and there is literally no one left to Challenge her. Which is true. So she has issued an “Open Challenge” to any Female Wrestler in the World to fight her, and if Gail is beaten, she will even put up a Title Shot.

I LOVE Open Challenges, anything that has excitement about possible new comers. Of course this could also mean Tapa herself might attack Gail, which would also be great. But getting a new addition I think would be better, and then Tapa turned. Who knows.

Okay, so remember that Mockery of AJ Styles I mentioned, well because, as you know “he has left the company, and never to be seen again” crap, so on Impact, there was a Segment, which I kid you not, titled “The Friends of AJ Styles” who bring you amateur video footage of his recent Title Defence in AAA Mexico. An easy way to find out who is making these videos is find out where the team responsible for TNA’s utterly Poor Hall of Fame Ceremony footage are, and BINGO! Surely they could have found a better way to promote AJ Styles and keep him on people’s minds, without the need to bring you Video Segments, that is stupid. If you were watching a Match and then the video feed went, and you saw some footage or something, that would be neat, it would appear as if some people within TNA are on AJ’s side and pushing for the change in TNA. It could lead to great Segments trying to find the “Rat” in Dixie’s team who is responsible. Or they could just have Joe, or Storm talking backstage and mentioning AJ’s travels. Rather than a really naff looking title screen from the “Friends of AJ Styles” who send in video clips, which get played as part of the show.. because that’s normal.

The Aces and Eights have been blowing up backstage through-out the show, It started with Anderson confronting both Knux and Bischoff, telling them that the best thing they did was getting him out of the Cut, and for them both just to get out of the club. Garrett and Knux called Taz into the Ring, which would make this Taz’s what, Fourth Appearance with them in 10Months. Bully made his way to the ring also. This is where Anderson came down to Watch from the side lines, as Garrett complained about everything Bully has done and took off his Cut. Knux also said he was Finished with the Club, but a tie vote would rule in favour of the President, of course Taz off of the heels of last week saying the club sucked, said Anderson was right, and took of his Cut. Bully got in Taz’s face telling him to put it back on, and Taz went all high pitched and squealy as he said “Make Me!”

Bully turned all of this on Anderson’s meddling, and Anderson announced their Turning Point match will be a No DQ. Bully then said “for someone who worships Stone Cold Steve Austin so much, you forgot the first rule”. Which is when Knux and Bischoff attacked Anderson and threw him in the ring where Bully beat him down with his Chain.

Yup, I hope they keep this level of Aces and Eights shenanigans up, because that was awesome. I was totally sucked in to them shutting down the Club, I fully expected that was the way it was going, then all of a sudden, they were more united than ever. I honestly didn’t see it coming, so kudos, it was awesome. I want The Aces and Eights to grow, more members, more power, more chaos, I really want that. Like REALLY WANT THAT!!!!

Ethan Carter the Third vs. Dewey Barnes

I made a note to write down his name correctly this time, yup same old crap.

Though Dewey’s music is awesome, I shall look for it and embed it if I can find it.

EC3’s music is also good.

His finisher is the “One Percenter” and that is also good… but that is all.

Also two searches said I couldn’t find it… and that’s two searches too many!

Bad Influence vs. Eric Young and Joseph Park

Backstage Kaz and Daniels got at Park, throwing his Trick-Or-Treat “Candy” at him, saying how strange it is he is here this week, and Abyss is not. EY stepped up to save the day and challenge them to a match. Which led to a lovely awkward moment of EY and Park celebrating, whilst it was blatantly obvious Kaz and Daniels were stood at the other side of the room off camera watching.

I guess this is just building the feud between the two, and I hope it leads to Abyss / Park realisation, because I am bored of that story now, it just needs to “happen” or go in a different direction.

In the end Daniels grabbed the Time Keepers Hammer, ref went after it, Daniels through the Hammer, got his Apple-Tini, lobbed that in the face of Park, Kaz crucifix pin, and the Victory goes to Bad Influence.

Roode came to ringside a little earlier on in the night and shouted for Kurt, then left. So this time, Angle came out and shouted for Roode, saying he isn’t a hard man to find, which is ironic as Roode couldn’t find him earlier and Angle didn’t even come out to his challenge.

It was however Austin Aries that got in the face of Kurt Angle, as Aries and Angle will battle next week in the next match of the Title Tournament, and Dixie’s “Wheel of Dixie” determined it will be a Submission Match, so that should be awesome. Roode then came out and attacked Kurt, then all three of them were fighting each other. Yay?

Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Sabin – World Title Tournament – Full Metal Mayhem

Aside from the fact that every time they talk about a Full Metal Mayhem match which Jeff Hardy is taking part in, they feel the unnecessary need to label it “Tables, Ladders, Chairs…. and stairs”. When they did that before, I let it slide, but numerous times through-out the night promoting this match, they felt the need to include Tables, Ladders and Chairs, I get it. It’s his most famous matches, but that doesn’t mean you need to say those exact words, Full Metal Mayhem is a concept from TNA that explains the match type rather well. The fact they can’t say “Tables, Ladders and Chairs” which I’m sure is because it has some “copyright” issues, so they say, Tables, Ladders, Chairs and Stairs. Really? What matches do you remember where Stairs come into play as a deciding factor.

Also TNA plugged Jeff’s new CD, which without researching I assume is another TNA Released Album of remixed songs where Jeff badly sings on top of. I shall look into this further, but I am hopeful this CD, the aptly named “Plurality of Worlds” will sit among his other classics, such as:

“Disbandment of Soil” – “Eccentric Roll down the Hill” – “Waddle on the Wind” and my personal favourite:

Jeff Hardy Album

So with that rant over and done with, this match was Fantastic!

Everything you would want it to be, it delivered on. It actually took me by surprise, mainly because the majority of Match Types haven’t lived up to the hype of recent, Ultimate-X is the best example from BFG.  Adding that to the face that this is just Impact, rather than a PPV, they don’t tend to raise their game to big levels for a standard TV Match. But they hit big move after big move.

It was so destructive Jeff merely tried to open the leg of one table and pulled it clean off!

But in all seriousness he went flying off the Top Rope through a Table, even though the timing wasn’t perfect as Sabin started to move, then Jeff jumped, so whatever. Sabin also leapt off the top rope and Jeff put his knees up, still going through a Table.

I couldn’t tell if Sabin annoyed Jeff, he hit him rather hard, then Dropkicked the chair into his face rather violently, which looked to give Jeff some issues, I for one thought he might have lost a tooth, but I’m not sure. So in retaliation Jeff swung the chair over Sabin’s head in a fit of rage. It was brutal.

The finish came with Jeff literally throwing himself over a Ladder and free falling face first to the floor, to then last minute Roll it through into a Modified Swanton Bomb, and picked up the win.

I haven’t seen a match that delivered on this Brutality for some time, maybe not since Jeff and Aries tore it down with their Ladder Match. Regardless, I shall be happy to include this in my list of potential “Match of the Year” Candidates.

If you missed this match… go watch it…. NOW!

And if this is the standard the opening the Match of the Title Tournament sets going forward, then the rest of these awesome bouts should be fantastic to witness!

I can’t wait for Angle vs. Aries next week (hope Aries wins) and Impact pulled out some surprises with The Aces and Eights, and kept everything hitting hard and fast.

If they can keep this going, then TNA are chugging along with some major momentum in my opinion.

Till Then!

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

P.S

On a funny note whilst doing my Spell-Checking, the final thing I misspelled was my own Name!

That’s a first! And I can’t tell you how proud I am… hence adding this to the end of my blog!

UP YOURS!

 TNR Jobber Blogger

 

Monday Night Raw #1068: November 11, 2013!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

It amuses me how this weeks Perfect Plex Radio show on BDSIR Network is entitled ‘We The People’ to honor Veteran’s Day… well your Hip Hop Reppin, Fried Chicken Eatin, Tekken @$$ whoopin, Total Diva Lovin Wrestling fan hating Infamous Informer has choice words about that… This week’s Raw takes place in Manchester, ENGLAND. If Zeb Coulter considers himself a veteran he will STAY THE F**K in America and don’t cross the borders over here. And if he does, I will raise my Size 12 Timberland Boots, honor the Jamaican/British Flag and say – I The INFAMOUS!!!

Jamaican Union Jack

YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE MUTHAF***A! THERE IS BLACK IN THE UNION JACK! RAW 1068! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZShout out to STC member Dean Winfield reppin at Manchester for the show!!! And big up the 13,614 in attendance! Yo – Smack Talk Centre is THIS WAY!!!

WTF is going on here???? Why is Brad Maddox, Vickie Guerrero and my hero Kane fighting over who Randall should fight… Why doesn’t my hero just chokeslam both their b!tch @$$£$??? Now look w’happen, Randall has to fight the Rhodes Brothers…. is this best for business??? Dunno about that but it’s best for my viewing pleasure… apart from the GM part just then… creative team fix up – MY HERO KANE IS IN CHARGE! That should have been an instant chokeslam!

Oh no the crowd are on one already! Chanting for JBL, ‘Randy’s boring’… oh dear!!! 13,614 people have paid their money!!!!

So let me get this right so I can understand this: If Triple and Steph are on vacation, who is Michael Cole gonna interview this week? I hope it’s my hero Kane!

What’s wrong Randall? You can’t manage the Rhodes Brothers??? He’s like f**k it! Me GONE!!! – RECORD SKIP – The Big Show???? He was reported absent on the register!!!! Him grab Randall – chokeslam through the announce table – BLAOW!!!! YUH DEAD NOW!!!

Wait a minute – The Big Show can’t just jump in a cab and head to the pub for a drink???? Ha – he might meet Sheamus or Wack Barrett on his travels!

Hold up – Los Matadores fight ‘The Union Jacks’??? Who are really 3MB? F**k this!!!! The crowd might love it, I certainly don’t!!!!! I’m going for a commercial break, let’s play one of my favourite British tunes since WWE is in England this week…
(Grant)GRANT - BODY - P
The beginning is still in my memory,
(Grant)
I was sittin’ in my school assembly,
(Grant)
Never listen to what da teachers tellin’ me,
(Grant)
I was thinkin’ “will I live to seventy?”,
(Grant)
And if I die will the world remember me?
(Grant)
Whos my friends and who’s my enemies?
(Grant)
Who will love and who will envy me?
(Grant)
Now I’m ready for whatever is meant to be...!

SHOUT OUT TO THE MANCHESTER UNITED FANS!!!!! (sorry Arsenal!! sorry Liverpool!!! You might be running the premier league dance but I think STC’s boss man slipped a cheque in WWE’s pocket Alex Ferguson style!)

So let me get this right so I can understand this: Next week on Raw its Raw Country from Nashville? Well THE GRANT SAYS when you gonna do Raw Hip Hop from New York or Detroit or Cali?????

Ok I skipped a few matches because they didn’t interest me. This one doesn’t either… but y’all excited. So for you, I’ll talk sh!t…. Dolph Ziggler! Curtis Axel! Intercontinental Championship! LET’S GO!

Actually this should be an even contest, Ziggler is all about PERFECTION, Axel’s father was PERFECT, so I expect a PERFECT match… yes??

The crowd behind Ziggler, but my dude Curtis Axel held down the title!!! YES!!! Talk sh!t now Ziggler d!ck riders!!!!! WHAT??!!!!!!

WTF??? Wack Ryder in charge of WWE Shop??? Let’s rob this muthaf***a! BREAK YOURSELF FOOL!

Blodclart – Bella Twins Vs Tamina & AJ Lee again???? no matter, just an excuse for me to fantasize over Tamina…

Why da rarse has Nikki got ‘Demon’ written on her socks? that’s not sexy! Oh I get it – Speed Demon… it matters not – KILL HER TAMINA!!!

Hold up – the crowd chanting – We want tables???? Yeah I’d lay Tamina over that table and (CENSORED!!!!) I gotta show respect to her father! That’s it – kick down her rarse, climb top ropes – superfly splash – BLAOW!!!

WHAT????? The Real American Pu$$!£$ are in England??? Muthaf***a!!!!

Yo CENA! You better f**k them up with your 5 moves! And don’t sh!t yourself (literally) doing it! The first verse is dedicated to you Zeb… YOU DUMB MUTHAF***A!

Oh dear! You gotta love the Shield mans!!!! Randall’s like – where were you mans when Big Show f**ked me up? Told Randall straight – we don’t work for Vickie, Brad , Kane, and not him either! They work for TRIPLE TEEF!!!!

I care not for Fandango or Tyson Kidd… f**k that – maybe I should join the Manchester crowd and sing the Fandango theme and take shots at Summer Rae…. shout out to Mike Knoxxx – he’s right – Summer Rae’s looks are not as hot as I previously assumed… just bend her over, choke her, spank her, pull her hair… you don’t need to look at the face that looks like she’s been in a d!ck sucking marathon! GRANT BODY – P!!!!

Ok this is it y’all!!!! COME ON CENA!!!! Destroy these border crossing muthaf***az! I THE INFAMOUS!

How dare this muthaf***a disrespect England! LETS GO CENA! All you Cena haters you get a Timberland boot in your fat @$$, and all you racist muthaf***az chanting ‘We The People’ get a black fist in your ugly @$$ pimpled up face!

Gotta say this match is maaaaaaad! The only time y’all should boo Cena is when he doesn’t let Cesaro use the giant swing. Cena has already taken TWO sho-ryu-kens from Cesaro, but the b!tch Swagger taps out to Cena’s STF! Did I fail to mention that Bertie was there watching, after the match he assaults Cena only to be saved by Big E Langston, and them stupid muthaf***az chanting ‘We the people’ are now chanting Big E???? F**k!n snakes!!!!

Some of you guys in the crowd should NOT be dancing when R-Truth tune drop! You got no rhythm! DeeJay from Street Fighter would be ashamed! Is this something that R-Truth is gonna start doing? Run a d!$$ record on his opponent like Mr Hardcore Thuganomics used to do??? I think he should!

DeeJayWin2_20090726173129.png

Oh snap!!!! Ryback lose again!!!! Damn son…. WWE will probably keep him until they grab hold of Goldberg…. then if Goldberg f**ks him up then it’s the end of Ryback’s career for sure!

You know what I just noticed??? The announce team now have a new announce table! I want somebody to mash that up too!!! It would be great!

The crowd is loving this contest between Langston and Bertie…. a bit too much! now they are doing the Mexican wave…. badly!!!! Then they be chanting – ‘We are awesome!!!’ Well THE GRANT SAYS…. nah, not really!
Unlucky Langston…. when Bertie locks in that cross-arm breaker, THAT’S IT!

OH SNAP!!! LOOK PON PAUL HEYMAN!!!! He is f**ked up!!!!!!

comment-friday-damn

Apparently it’s OUR fault now that Paul Heyman got buss arse…. My hands are clean… I had nothing to do with it rude boy! So it seems that the feud between Punk and Heyman is STILL not over!!!! Heyman swears vengeance… what’s he gonna do in that wheelchair???? Curtis Axel – you sir are a pansy – yeah I cheered for you earlier but that was then! Heyman gets more beaten with the kendo stick!!!! OH LAWWWD!

Ok main event time! Danielson & CM Punk Vs The Shield! Ok Roman Reigns, don’t trip up on the way down!!!

Kinda weird that this might be the first time CM Punk has clashed with The Shield… remember back in the day? They used to seemingly protect him and his title to make it 434 days… Yeah you CM Punk fans don’t remember that sh!t!!!

No way… CM Punk and Danielson may have this match won…. hol on… The Wyatt Family!!! OH SNAP!!! The Shield and The Wyatts clash!!!!!! LAWWWWWWD! But wait! They have a common enemy! Punk & Bryan! UH OH!!!!  think their goose cook now!

WAIT A MINUTE! The Rhodes brothers! the Usos!!!! BACKSIDE!!! It’s all out ruckus now!!!! Ok this is how it’s going! 6 Vs 6 at Survivor Series! The Shield/Wyatts Vs CM Punk/Bryan/Rhodes Bros/Usos! It’s gonna be MAAAAAAAD!

SMACK TALK CENTRE: Where are we going to watch such epicness????

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

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The Jobber Blogger #75 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 31/10/13

Jobber Blogger Halloween

In what is fast becoming the most fantastic yet late addition to anything on the Internet, the Jobber Blogger rolly polly’s his way back to the Computer Desk to bring you all the latest happenings from the World of TNA: Wrestling!

So the internet is going crazy about TNA being up for Sale. Of course I have even toyed with the idea of buying the company, but a below part time job at the Cinema on minimum wage tends to make buying anything hard work. Ahhh, what would I do if I could buy TNA… well I guess really, you wouldn’t get to do much, you’d just own it and probably not put in much input unless you really wanted to. But then of course you could just screw it all up. Either way they strongly claim that it isn’t actually up for sale… so who knows what’s going on.

TNA is still moving in some good directions, but this week’s show didn’t capture the excitement from the previous week’s, but that doesn’t mean that some ideas aren’t good ones!

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 31/10/13

Yep, going back to October and even Halloween right now, seems strange and really behind. Either way, wasn’t Halloween great! I certainly enjoyed mine, but the imminent threat of arrest really put a downer on my Trick-Or-Treating.

Dixie Carter kicked off Impact, a reoccurring trend of late, also on the flip side, my mash up Heel Theme for Dixie has 1 Thumbs up and 1 Thumbs Down, Aww Yer! Keeping it Neutral!

Dixie had a fit about AJ walking out on her last week, and went on to claim that AJ Styles “No Longer Exists to me, and no longer exists as World Champion, he is no better than the Kids Dressing Up Pretending”. Well, the whole thing does reek of CM Punk leaving with the Championship, and then coming back to face Cena once again. The only Solace in this situation is that the build up was better, AJ Styles can Wrestle really really well, and TNA don’t have someone as monotone as John Cena, so the pay off should be much better too. The downside though, is that only a fraction of the audience will ever watch it.

Seeing as AJ has hopped and skipped his way out of a Job and down to his Local Dole Office, Dixie was forced to take action. And her action is to create a 8-Man Title Tournament, sort of like King of The Ring, only with match Stipulations and 7 of the entrants are former World Champions:

James Storm, Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy, Austin Aries, Bobby Roode, Chris Sabin and the final Eighth Man to be determined from a Gauntlet Match later on.

AJ Dole Office

Bully Ray stormed to the ring for not being included in this Title Tournament, but that led to Dixie just blaming him for being the sole reason they’re in this mess in the first place.

And then Anderson once again leaps out at Bully Ray and beats him up some more… gets arrested yet again.

Then backstage Brooke distracted Anderson as he was being escorted from the Building, and Bully Ray then beat him down with his chain in a lovely Violent manor. Huzah!

James Storm and Gunner vs. The Bromans – World Tag-Team Championships

Yes, the Bound for Glory Rematch we’ve all been waiting for! That’s kind of sarcasm, though their match at BFG was actually rather good. The same however can’t be said for this.

I kind of hope that Storm will move either back into a Title Picture type of role, or at least be more present in AJ Styles’ Band of Brothers thing when he comes back.

As for Gunner, I think he has now been given a good platform, so they just need to “Unleash” him and make him a little stronger of a Gimmick, I’m telling you, Face Paint would look awesome! Let him be impactful, intense, dangerous, and you have a great star in the making.

And of course The Bromans can go on and hopefully help form a good Tag-Team Division again.

Storm suplexed Jesse into the Ring from the Apron but Robbie E held onto Storm’s leg from the outside, thus he couldn’t kick out of the Pin and The Bromans stole a victory!

Why Storm can’t use his other leg to kick out, or anything, who knows. It’s Wrestling… It doesn’t make sense!

Ethan Carter the Third vs. Norv Ferman

Yep, the skinny dude from BFG is back to fight EC3 and just like the first time, I couldn’t be bothered to write his name down, so I shall assume it’s right.

What exactly do I have to write about… same old. Squash, Win.

I get it, it’s the old Wrestling Tradition of the Squash Match to put across new Stars, and in this case, the fact he is “Dixie’s Nephew” means that she is pulling the strings to make his life easier.

However, who cares.

I think that sums it up well… He is impressive so far, and I look forward to seeing him in action with the likes of Austin Aries… then I will cast my judgement.

World Title Tournament Gauntlet:

Sting and Kazarian kicked it off, and yes, Sting was back in with a Chance of Winning the World Championship, this all came about earlier on in the night.

Dixie Carter and Sting shared a rather little amusing backstage segment, where she told “The Icon” that she will lift his Ban of never competing for the World Championship, and put him in this Gauntlet match, where he can Enter as #1 and work his way to Victory to prove he has still got it. But for some reason Sting responded with a very confusing attitude: “This is the why I feel, I feel like I have earned every single thing, every single step of the way for myself, and I, have never had a sense of Entitlement… Dixie!”

And then he left… what the hell does that mean?

What makes it worse is that he sounded like he was throwing this back in Dixie’s face for he can Earn Everything for himself… but then he took the opportunity anyway. Crazy man.

Sting2

The Gauntlet had everyone from Eric Young to Manik, but there’s little point doing a rundown of who entered when and who eliminated who. The best thing to mention is that when Knux was eliminated, Taz said “I’ve got to get out of this club, it sucks!”

I really hope they give The Aces and Eights a makeover, put Anderson at the top and build it back up, they can be crowd favourites, but not Faces, it would be awesome.

Either way, as predictable as you’d imagine, the final four was Bad Influence and Sting and Magnus. Daniels got eliminated, and then Sting tried to eliminate Kazarian, where Magnus pushed both Kaz and Sting over the ropes to pick up the win and move himself into the Title Tournament.

Where I will go out and say right now, Magnus will win this Title Tournament, probably be the new World Champion, or at least Dixie’s World Champion, or get so close, before AJ Styles returns.

By this point Magnus will be the top Heel and fully aligned with Dixie… which is no bad thing really.

ODB vs. Gail Kim (w/Lei’D Tapa) – Knockouts Championship

Again, this match goes just as you would imagine it would. It still bugs me that Lei’D Tapa is Gail’s bodyguard, I honestly feel that this really stuns her debut in a big way. She was quickly becoming something new and exciting, but then just as quickly became boring. She’s like a talented female Rob Terry.

Lei'D Tapa Train

ODB and Gail shared some nice Submission Reversals which was rather impressive from both, specially ODB, not in an insulting way, just we expect it from Gail.

In the end however Lei’D Tapa distracts the Ref, Gail gets a quick Roll-Up, holds the Ropes and Wins. Woo!

Bad Influence were in full blown Sherlock Holmes mode this week where they were determined to uncover the Mystery Case of The Monster Abyss. Any segment they get to be themselves in, is TV Gold. Why they aren’t the Tag-Team Champions, I don’t know. They get loads of Air Time, because they are unique, funny, talented and amazingly entertaining. Put the Tag-Belts on them, then that gives the Tag-Team Division much needed Air-Time, plus boost Bad Influences credibility and the potential for Tag-Team Feuds / Matches and Title Defences are increased 100%… makes sense to me. My only hope is that Bad Influence could take the belts from The Bromans in a good feud that would put Bad Influence in a “Crowd Favourite” position, whilst still being themselves.

Regardless, they declared that Abyss is located under the ring, where they pulled out a Pumpkin, and said that Abyss is just another talentless vegetable.

Eric Young who was dressed as Joseph Park made his way to the ring with a Message for them both, and then he hit them. How classy. So yeah, Bad Influence beat up EY, and then Abyss made his Return… again… again……. again? How many times has he returned now?

Then picks up EY like he did at BFG. Is Abyss going to be around now, or was his appearance purely because it was Halloween. Joseph Park is a good character and really shows how Talented he is, but come on, we all want Abyss. I suppose if they can balance them both for a while… perhaps they will just merge into one, which could have some rather good story lines attached to it. Only one can hope though.

Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle

The other Bound for Glory Rematch.

Roode tried his best to get Angle proven not Medically Cleared to Wrestle, and apparently he was cleared but not advised.

The match obviously had strong resemblances to their great bout at BFG, and I would hazard a guess that this feud will continue, probably through Dixie’s Title Tournament, and will probably be the reason neither of them make it to the finals, and then that would carry on further. Certainly the potential between the two of them is great, especially in terms of great in-ring matches.

Roode once again used this Death Valley Drive – Neck breaker – Cutter thing that he showed off at BFG, I really hope this move sticks around to be his Finisher, it’s a great move.

Roode made his way to the Top Rope, where Angle did his patented Run – Double Under Hook Throw off the Top Rope. Both men crashed hard, Angle struggled to Cover Roode, Roode kicked out.

Angle then seemed to have a type of “Fit” and Roode won the match.

So all in all, it was a good ending to the Match. Roode won, which was the best possible outcome, and Angle got to live his dreams of having a little mid ring Boogey-Jiggy.

On a serious note, or as serious as you can be with Wrestling, the idea is, that Angle had no idea what was going on, and is in fact rather injured, so… who knows. Maybe he will come back like Perry Saturn.

Angle Wig

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

 

Monday Night Raw #1067: November 4, 2013!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

The way I got it figured, if you are reading this right now, it means either one of two things: One, you haven’t got the new Call Of Duty Ghosts game. You probably haven’t got WWE2K14 either. Don’t worry, I’m in the same boat, only difference is, I DON’T WANT Call Of Duty Ghosts: I love my woman, and she is my Call Of Duty. I don’t want to be turned into some muthaf**k!n Ghost over a game, YOU FEEL ME! The other thing why you may be reading this, is because you just wanna hear another dose of the Hip Hop Reppin, Jerk Chicken eatin’, Supermalt drinkin’, diva loving, wrestling nerd hatin’ INFAMOUS INFORMER!!!

ENOUGH OF THAT SH!T!!! RAW 1067! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZSource. WWE.COM

First time we see Luke Harper of the Wyatt Fam in singles competition… Why you looking surprised Harper? CM Punk rolled your b!tch @$$ up and pinned you… he is the best inna de wurl!!!

You know the Wyatts are not about wrestling matches anyway… they like to f**k up people and make them follow the buzzards… and just as they were gonna f**k up CM Punk, here comes Mr B+! Chair swinging! Crowd going buckwild for their two top anti heroes as they combine their force to fight off the evil that is the Wyatt Family! If this is leading to Survivor Series traditional jump off both parties need more people! In a way I can see the Wyatts teaming with Curtis and Dryback… but only time will tell..

Speaking of Dryback… OH MY DAYS!!! RYBACK WON A MATCH!!! (It was against the not so great Khali Grant….) er… oh dear….what was there to gain from that?? Nothing… lets move along…

Another great match-up by Kofi Kingston and my man Bertie…. but I swore blind I saw this last week on Smackdown…. come on, I’m yawning here, and it’s daytime! I didn’t watch live! Where’s the jokes? The storylines??? The gyal dem???

So ok, the WWE Universe choose Big E Langston over The Miz and Dolph Ziggler to face ladies favourite Randall Orton? At last they have finally understood. A few months ago Langston was ‘underneath’ Ziggler, the WWE Universe were on Ziggler’s d!ck… now Langston is DA MAN now???! HA!!!! Landslide vote of the Pink brief wearing greasy head top!

I noticed someone in the crowd with a sign saying ‘I NEED FIVE!!!’ A double reference to Langston saying that in NXT, and King Kong Bundy saying it from back in the day. I say BRING THAT SH!T BACK LANGSTON! Gotta have those jokes rude boy!

Big E went H.A.M. on Randall, but dude hit the RKO – BLAOW!!! Unlucky Langston, keep striving!!!! And for god sake do something about your head top! Don’t let me have to send for Cedric!

RAH-TID! Tyson Kidd finally decides to get off his @$$ and get back inna de ring! You know Christmas is coming when you see Tyson Kidd! He was injured for like what, 3000 years??? Good to see him back, but even better to see Natalya and Summer Rae fight!!!

Meanwhile in the Zeb Colter Vs Infamous Informer feud…

Zeb Colter ‏@WWEZeb 19h

ZEBISM OF THE DAY: BORDER HOPPING IS AN ACTIVITY THAT I HIGHLY DISAPPROVE OF. #WeThePeople

WELL THE GRANT SAYS: I AGREE WITH YOU… So I don’t expect you to cross the British Borders when WWE comes over here live next week… then again I HOPE YOU DO… so I can F**K YOU UP!

Wait a minute didn’t we see Cena/Rhodes Bros Vs Sandow/Real Americans on Smackdown last week? F**k this I’m watching Cheaters…

…and while Curtis Axel Battles Dolph Ziggler now is the time to grab a Real McCoy’s Man Crisps and a Crunchie… and a KA Pineapple fizzy drink… damn not feeling this weeks Raw man!!!!

Give me a reason to get back into this sh!t!!! Usos Vs 3MB??? Oh we have some twitter amusements!!! Ok let’s get into it…

Zack Ryder ‏@ZackRyder 10h

BIG SHOW’S HERE! #IAmSeriousBro #Raw (I’m here too)

THE GRANT SAYS: WE STILL DON’T GIVE A F**K ABOUT YOU….. BRO!!!! Apart from that – Didn’t Triple say that Big Show was banned from WWE for life??? I’m saying hmmmmmm…

GRANT - BODY - PHooray!!!! 6-Diva tag action!!!! Beautiful lady, (Go Ladies), lovely lady, (GO LADIES!) Bella Twins & Eva Marie Vs AJ Lee, Tamina and Aksana… LET’S GO!!!

DAMNIT I love Tamina… like, she my favourite wrestler out of the lot of them, but LAYLA remains the love of my life… Luckily for Brie Bella she managed to get out-of-the-way of Tamina’s superfly super move…

Hold up – Eva Marie tags herself in, rolls up Tamina and gets the three???? LAWWWWWD! Eva Marie WIN!!! That is HUGE!!! She stood there at the apron the whole time and tagged in when the time is right and got the pin! WHOA!!! She’s going to WrestleMania – No diva can beat her!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! SHOUT OUT TO Jazz Kumar and Brent Armstrong of the International Wrestling Fanbase!

Look pon Tamina – she is furious!!!! Look at the referee trying to restrain her – my god I wish that was me…. Oh my…. OHHHHHHHHH!!! I need a song for Tamina…

I lose, my cool, whenever you’re around, I can’t help myself…..NO…oh NOOO!!!!

Alright more jokes!!!! This is what it’s about! Not no pointless wrestling matches!!!

So I get it, Big Show wants his job back…. so after all that ruckus he be causing, all that truck driving into the arena business… seems like Big Show’s last paycheck is finally depleted. I don’t think Triple wants to comply… but Stephanie will!!! All is ok in the world! Nah there must be a catch surely!

Big Show ready to drop the lawsuit as well? Well at least he is an honest and unselfish man… Don’t wanna make WWE bankrupt when WrestleMania XXX is round the corner! Ooooh we don’t want that!!! Look at Triple TEEF!!!! He looks like he wants to send for the world’s largest hammer and clap Big Show upside the head with it! But asking to be the FACE of the company??? INJUSTICE! SEND FOR THE SHIELD!!!

HAHAHAHA! Look at Triple TEEF! leaning against the ring ropes with his left leg at an angle supported by his toes!!!! “Er… you asked for something????” With that simple motion, Triple TEEF has smashed it!!!

What is this – ‘Who Wants To Be Punched Through School Buses???’

Big Show: “What I want, what I deserve, is a WWE title shot against Randall Orton…”

Triple: “You lucky you got your job back, you should be grateful, now get out of my ring before you end up in a puddle of your blood…”

Big Show: “You sure about that?” (Big Show has a point – Blood is not allowed on a PG show!)

Triple: “DAMN SURE…”

Big Show: “FINAL ANSWER????”

Triple: “ABSOLUTELY…”

At this point Big Show should have said we will find out if Triple wins the Million after the break!!! But since you wrestling dorks hate the commercial breaks, lets find out now…

OH SNAP!!!! looks like the attorneys are on their way to the WWE Board of Directors in the morning!

OR MAYBE NOT!!! It bunn Triple! It BUNN HIM!!! He had to grant Big Show his title match at the Survivor Series! He knew that the attorneys would nyam Triple for breakfast, lunch, dinner and then Stephanie for the dessert!!!! OH YEAH!!!!!!

Well the Shield and Orton have come for Big Show’s clart!!! But then… FYYYRE!!!! IT’S KA………………….

WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO MY HERO KANE?????!!!! What is this? Suit? Tie? Trousers? Shoes? Paul Bearer must be turning in his grave… and he wore suits!!! He’s probably thinking… NOOOOO! MY KANE!!!! MY SON!!!

CITIZEN KANE

This has caused another uproar within the IWC… but let’s do the knowledge real quick… some of you IWC idiots just had to dig in and discover that outside of the ring, Glen Jacobs has found himself in politics…. now they wanna bring that part of the character into WWE TV… I suppose that whoever Glen is working for outside of WWE don’t like the idea of a ‘monster’ who sets people on fire and chokeslams women and tombstones priests running for a major position in future…. well ain’t that a b!tch!!!! So THE GRANT SAYS: Why are you all so surprised???

Look pon this… RKO by Randall – BLAOW!!! Ka- er I mean Glen throwing chairs into the ring! Well so much for him being a ‘Wyatt’!!! The Shield beating down the Big Show! Glen setting up the announce table! Roman Reigns taking down The Big Show with the steel steps! Setting him up, The Shield, triple powerbomb through the table – BLAOW!!!!!!!

I’m surprised Triple didn’t get extra licks in!!! THE GRANT SAYS THIS – OK I was wrong about Randy not facing Big Show at Survivor Series because he is, maybe we were all wrong about the Shield breaking up – you were wishing for that sh!t ever since they arrived on the scene!!! HA! What’s wrong with you people??? But my hero Kane….. Kane…… KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!!!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#BIGSHOWKNOCKHIMOUT

 

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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