Author Archives: Jon P

About Jon P

Currently run www.cageamateursuk.com which is a combat sport website.

Monday Night Raw #1085: March 10, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

Judgment Day has passed. I have seen the results. Now the fans have started to turn their back on whom they once called their hero…. but let’s pull up a little bit. That pipe bomb he dropped, he basically told you that he DOES NOT GIVE A F**K… Do you need me to bring up the speech? I’ll just draw a little excerpt of it…

“Oh, hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just the biggest part of me leaving as anything else, because you’re the ones that are sipping out of those collector cups right now; you’re the ones that buy those programs that my face isn’t on the cover of, and then at 5:00 in the morning at the airport, you try and shove it in my face so you can get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you’re too lazy to go get a real job!
I’m leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17 (2011), and hell, who knows? Maybe I’ll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe I’ll go back to Ring of Honor. [Waves to camera] Hey, Colt Cabana, how you doing? The reason I’m leaving is you people because after I’m gone, you’re still gonna pour money into this company. I’m just a spoke on the wheel, the wheel’s gonna keep turning and I understand that…”

There it is!!! RIGHT THERE!!! He left, you still brought the WWE Network. You’re still buying merchandising, you ordered big BIG WrestleMania XXX. Who’s the real winner in this? YOU??? Our Survey Says…. FAIL! Until he does decide to come back and surprise the hell out of you all, LEFF DE BWOY ALONE. IT’S OVER. DEAL WITH IT LIKE BATISTA. (Thank God I’m an Undertaker fan…)

Now let’s get back to what’s really good! RAW #1085! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZRight as announced last week, Hulk Hogan has something that he wants to tell us. So let’s the original dan gargon speak! Don’t boo him IWC! That’s rude!!!

So hold up… there’s gonna be a 30-man battle royal for the André The Giant memorial trophy at Big BIG WRESTLEMANIA???? Something about Battle Royals and ladders and WrestleMania make that so magical… and Hulk Hogan has pulled another one out the bag!

Record skip!!!!! John Cena has entered his name in the 30 man battle royal??? Wh-wh-wh-what about John Cena Vs Bray Wyatt???? So much for all these internet claims! Now we know who’s gonna win that muthaf***a!!!!

OH SNAP!!! THEY’RE HERE!!!

Coming out in their Hawaiian shirt and their lantern and his rocking chair… the Wyatt man running down Cena & Hogan about their false sh!t, but turns around and calls himself a god???? First Jay-Bee, then CM Punk, now Bray Wyatt??? Wh-wh- JESUS HAVE MERCY!!! Thank God Cena changed his mind, now he wants to brukk up Bray at WrestleMania!!! Ok guys we can stop panicking!

Hold up – Cena just defeated Luke Harper in a roll up pin! YES – not an AA, Not the five move of doom… none of that sh!t!

Gotta say this is a moment for generations, for the kids, Cena and for us growing up, Hulk Hogan… all they need now is the Great One himself….shame they can’t work out a quick plan for him to appear at WrestleMania XXX like he promised?

STC WrestleMania 30 Poster

Oh lawwwwwd The Authority just called Batista an A+ playa???? Even I as a Batista fan has to disagree there as far as Batista’s spear move at least!!! Now they want Danny to apologize for his actions last week? We all know that’s not gonna happen… there’s more chance of Danny getting in the chair by order of Vincent Kennedy than him apologizing to the authoritaah! Remember what I told you Danny… all you gotta do is mention Shawn Michaels and you will get what you want!

So Ryback wants to put his name in the hat for that 30 man jump off at Wrestlemania XXX? Makes sense if you ask me – he best win that muthaf***a! He ain’t won sh!t since he made it ‘big’! One thing I can say: At least WWE have shown a remedy for the large abundance of talent!

… and Drybaxel lose again!!!! Maybe I should change my mind about Ryback winning the battle royal… remember back in the day? When Ryback would brukk up two, even three-man at once??? Now he can’t manage the Usos??? HA! HA!

Loving that segment with my hero Kane and The Shield… telling them to exercise their demons – key word – DEMONS against the Rhodes Brudda… I liked how the Shield twisted the whole ‘Demon’ thing on my hero!!! Particularly Roman Reigns…. Hmmmm… it’s a long shot but is it WWE’s way of twisting up storylines? Maybe have Roman Reigns fight my hero Kane? F**k that – I’m just gonna watch this thing like everybody else…Isn’t it funny how back in the day the Shield used to brukk up Kane and put him through tables?

Hold up – Big E is jumping in the 30 man jump off too??? Er…. what about the Intercontinental title defense???? You see Big E I have to ask these things because my nemesis (IWC) want to know – they like to see championships defended and if not it becomes a problem…

MIKE DOGG THE PHENOMI’m glad the commentators corrected themselves when they said Brock Lesnar has never been in the ring with Undertaker….at WRESTLEMANIA!

Big ups to Paul Heyman for breaking the streak down and comparing it to other guys like Hogan, Austin, Cena and Edge who had a streak… but also  lying to the Undertaker like that by saying – ‘he worships him and the streak’???? No you don’t Heyman! Last week you crossed your legs in the ring and said you want to see the streak brukk!!! So Mr Messenger Walrus! Go back and tell the one who banging Sable on a regular that if he shows up at New Orleans he’s gonna get BUSS ARSE STRAIGHT UP!

I was wondering how long it would take for the Memphis fans to chant CM Punk’s name… thankfully it didn’t last very long either… matter of fact I’ve got a tune for you CM Punk fans, and it goes a lil’ something like this….sing along if you know the words…

Deep down you know it’s best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of Punk being with someone else
But you know that It’s Over
You know that it was through Make it burn, Make it burn…make it BURRRRRRRRN!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Well the Shield mans dem held it down against the Rhodes Brudda… exercising the demons just like what my hero Kane told em to do!

Hold up – Natalya just said that everybody talking about Total Divas???? I know it starts up next week, I’m a big fan but girl – NOBODY ain’t talking about that sh!t!!!

Gotta big her up though, she just said on commentary – ‘Enough is Enough and it’s time for a change’ as in we need a new divas champion…. see what she did there???

OH SNAP!!!! Nikki Bella just used that torture rack move on AJ Lee and beat her!!! Walking round like that Diva’s title belongs to her while Natalya looks on??? So much for my AJ Lee Vs Tamina WrestleMania prediction!

I rate Renée Young interviewing LL Cool J right there… it’s a wonder he didn’t lick his lips at her on some Doin’ It, Doin’ It, Doin’ It Well sh!t!!!

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Renée: “If you could pick a WWE superstar to join your NCIS team who would you pick?”

LL: “I’d pick the Bella Twins… I gotta couple of missions for em….”

DUTTY BWOY!!!!! I’m sure you have LL!!!!

OH SNAP! Danny and the Yes movement are going to plan to occupy Raw… ‘What does he mean?’ asks Jay-Bee? Er… what he means is that the Memphis crowd… which happens to be a legion of dorks in Danny Bryan shirts have taken over the ring and no wrestling match is running until Triple says YES to Danny’s WrestleMania challenge! Is it me or is that WWE’s sly way of trolling the IWC? HA! HA! Holy crap!!!! This is actually next level!!! And he didn’t use the name Shawn Michaels!!! Oh here they come!!! TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEF!!

They have 30 seconds to comply!!! Oh dear look w’happen! Send for the security! Er only 2???? Is that all you got??? Lawwwd Stephanie BEXXX! They disrespected the McMahon name!!! WROOOOOOOY!!!! Where’s Vincent Kennedy???!!!!

OH SNAP!!! I JUST MARKED OUT LIKE A B!TCH!!!!! YES I’M TYPING IN CAPITALS BECAUSE I CAN! I’M THE INFAMOUS INFORMER!!! NOW TRIPLE HAS ACCEPTED DANNY’S CHALLENGE!!! BUT DANNY WAS NOT DUN! HIM SEH – IF DANNY BRUKKS HIM UP, HE GOES INTO THE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH TOO!!! TRIPLE BACK OFF JACKET!!! WROOOOOY!!! WAS THIS WHAT TRIPLE MEANT WHAT HE SAID TO DANNY BACKSTAGE BACK IN THE SUMMER???? CM WHO???? GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE!!!

Sketch courtesy of STC member Lee Steadx

Ok where are all you haters? All you doubters that said you are gonna stream WrestleMania XXX? I liked how Mike Cole described the situation as the ‘Caviar’!!!

Now the Memphis Crowd has gone hype as we enter the Memphis street fight between Sheamus and Christian! Guitars are destroyed! Chairs all over the shop! Drums are being banged! Kendo sticks are swinging! I bet The Honky Tonk Man and Jeff Jarrett are fuming right now!!!

..and after all that Christian got brukk up! Brogue Kick through the drum into Christian’s grill – BLAOW!!!!

Triple and Steph are so bex that they have left the building!!! Maybe they need to let off some steam… maybe they’re off for a quickie… it’s usually the remedy for situations like this! Can you believe that some wrestling fans are STILL not excited for this WrestleMania sh!t in some FB wrestling groups?? That’s it – last straw… I am taking myself out of those groups… y’all too miserable. You wanted Danny in the title match, you wanted Danny to kick down Triple, now you get both, and you’re still complaining? You wanted The Shield Vs The Undertaker??? What Danny just done, Philip could NEVER DO…. MAKE IT BURN MUTHAF***A!

I GET IT!!! Now I know who’s gonna win that 30 man jump off! It’s this man right here! Alexander Yusef!!! That Lana – F**********K!!!! look how her blouse & skirt tight up! I love that sh!t!!! That would make my super sperm shoot out like a super soaker!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Now the main event has started, Danny & Big Show Vs Randall & Batista!

Jay-Bee says don’t believe in miracles, but Danny just dropped the Dragon Knee on Randall – BLAOW!!! He manages to do that to Triple at big BIG WRESTLEMANIA – it’s worries for Randall and Batista!

THE GRANT SAYS THIS: The day after the Royal Rumble, I actually phoned in to Mike Knoxxx Perfect Plex show on BDSIR NETWORK. That night, Mike Knoxxx asked me if WWE can fix this mess they made. I said an emphatic – YES. ladies & gentlemen, WWE have FIXED IT. Now I’m gonna delete myself out of those miserable wrestling groups… they are doing me no favours.

OFFICIAL SMACK TALK CENTRE THEME TUNE FOR WRESTLEMANIA XXX!!!

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GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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The Jobber Blogger #93 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 27/2/14

Jobber-Blogger-logo2

The Jobber Blogger

Oh yes indeedy, it’s been a weird Week. It all started last Monday night when I awoke with bad stomach cramps and proceeded with Sickness and Diarrhoea the likes you dream about. Not that you spend your time dreaming about being ill, though in a similar related manor my dream last night was about IGN’s own Colin Moriarty. For some reason I was on my way to visit him and he lived in these towering apartment bloks. He lived near the very top and the only way to get close was to use this elevator like a Window Cleaners moving platform to scale the building. Obviously and most conveniently this lift only went to about 3 levels below that of Colin’s apartment, so to get any higher you needed to construct a Ladder which consisted of multiple little wooden blocks that screwed together. So having a dream where I’m climbing this flimsy wooden ladder up the side of this enormous building balancing on a window cleaners platform…. not fun.

What was rather fun was this week’s TNA: Impact! Impact Wrestling LogoTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 27/2/14

The last show of February, and I really can’t wait to get back to the states. I know I mentioned how awesome the British crowds are, and they are. But after a while you feel like you’re just stuck in this endless void of time. They were in the UK for a matter of days… why has it been over a Month and they’re still showing this programming. I hate taped shows.

I believe there is one last show from the UK and then it’s Lockdown, thank god! And then on to bigger and better things. Finding the enthusiasm for TNA at times can take more effort than to Write this blog.

MVP kicked off the show with a little nod to Gunner who will “get his title shot” as soon as MVP is in charge. But of course first things first is indeed the chocolate starfish, is my man Fred Durst. Magnus and Joe will Main Event Lockdown, and MVP had the contracts in hand to confirm it. No Magnus rules this time, no it’s “Joe’s Rules!” I want to ask my work if I can include a “Dan’s Rules” in my new contract. I don’t really have anything to request, I just like the mention of my name as it soothes my growing ego. Joe’s Rules are Win only by Submission or Knock Out. No escaping the cage or Pin falls. Of course this already sets the stage for Lockdown and some phoney way of Joe being knocked out. The second they add a stipulation which gives leverage and wiggle room for a Heel win… you know who is going to win.

Speaking of winning though, Dixie apparently was winning this week, as she wasn’t in attendance from London, quite simply Magnus just reminded her it was London, and she skipped the show. A Wise Woman. I remembered the show was from London and contemplated not watching.

So yes Joe Head-Butted Magnus ala Joe and Angle’s face off, only much less meaningful and relevant… also Joe looked much more out of shape.  Like being head-butted by a Whale in Street Clothes… don’t tell him I wrote that.

Bromans vs. Bad Influence vs. The Wolves

In spite of Dixie’s absence, she gave Bobby Roode a hint of Power, and nope, not a Power Bar! roode power bar 1Old Habits

 With Bad Influence and The Bromans begging to be placed on Team Roode at Lockdown, he gave them both a chance by competing in a Triple Threat Tag-Team Match with The Wolves.

The Wolves also wore the Belts to the ring, selling their recent victory on a house show… in America. So the physics of Time and Space were well and truly bent as TNA travelled back to America for a week, before coming back to the UK… no surprise people think they’re bad with money.

Poor Robbie E and Jesse had to lose their belts before actually losing them. What?

The Wolves and Bad Influence controlled the majority of the Match, no bad thing given that having these teams go, is fantastic. Though yet again sells the legitimacy of Bad Influence short. Sure we have Taz talk them up on Commentary, but they are the team who lose, despite always being strong in story lines.

To make matters worse they never gave Robbie E or Jesse the chance to Tag in. Until the ending where Robbie E whom was in a different corner to that of his team, blind tagged his way in and won the match. Is it bad it bugs me was allowed the Tag, from the Wrong Corner? What is the point of Tag-Ropes if you don’t need to use them?

Realism people! How am I supposed to believe these Wrestling Ref’s are so far up their own arse’s that they throw the Heels from Ring-Side, are stupidly blind to the Face’s Tag-Team’s, so strong ethic that they don’t let the slightest thing slide for the Faces, but the Heels get away with the exact same tricks, every time! Then they can Tag from the wrong corner!!! And win!?Arghh!!! TNA! TNA! TNA!

Not only does that put the Bromans in Lethal Lockdown, but it puts Bad Influence out of the picture. This is bad because Roode is the captain.. having EGO in that match makes sense? They made it to the end of the Bound for Glory Series via teamwork. Why would Roode pick the team who lose, purely because they won with a fluke victory? Crazy people!

Ethan Carter the Third vs. Doug Williams

EC3 also had Power to once again chose his opponent. And to his credit he chose on the best Wrestlers there is. England’s own Doug Williams. Still a little sore that TNA let him go in the first place. Having him Job to EC3 made it slightly worse. Doug didn’t seem to be as “spot on” as he once was, but having EC3 get away with a Low blow in front of Hebner, and then hit the One Percenter and win was a little grim.

Least he didn’t win cleanly. And it was nice seeing Doug back, albeit it briefly… once.

i doug itThe Cowboy James Storm didn’t waste any time and called out Gunner. Which is awesome, I like it when we have Heels who don’t just run and hide. Of course all of this boils back to when Gunner pushed Storm out of the way to climb over him and win the shot at the World Championship. They skimmed over the “saving him from Bobby Roode” towel throwing. Apparently Gunner handing him the Tag-Belts was the icing that broke the Camel’s back.

Ice CamelStorm threw a couple shots at Gunners background as a Marine “nobody would miss you” I guess we can’t have a Heel turn without someone being spoiled and whining a little with name calling. More to the point why does Storm have to “explain” anything, he hates him, simple, kick his ass, fight!

A little later on in the show and Storm and Gunner broke out in a Parking Lot Brawl which of course was broken up by that pesky Al Snow who gets involved in everything. And now we have another match for Lockdown, which should be pretty good. Not to mention Storm makes a good Heel, one week in and he’s the most exciting he’s been for a long time.

Bad Bones vs. Samoa Joe

…..bitch please!

Kurt Angle – Hall of Fame

Yes, finally Angle is inducted into the Hall of Fame. Why this happened? Who knows. Well aside from TNA’s bragging rights over WWE. At least with Sting they went to the effort of making it meaningful, giving him a Video Package, getting a room booked, getting Wrestlers to turn up and make speeches. Kurt, it’s a story line, it sucked, he gets a crappy watch, rattles of a load of Crap I don’t believe and limps away.

Hell, the highlight was that the TNA Hall of Fame logo was perfectly placed on JB’s Crotch.

JB Hall of FameAngle said the same crap you’d expect him to say “The TNA hall of fame is about the fans” and he couldn’t have done any of this without the fans, and TNA wouldn’t exist without the fans. And blah blah blah. I found it a little disturbing to find out that Kurt’s wife is his Rock. Kurt wife rockUnfortunately I didn’t find it moving, or meaningful, TNA’s World Championship isn’t recognised as a World title, why would their Hall of Fame be any different, it’s ridiculous enough as it is. Who is going to go in it next year…. Don West? Who else is there?

To make matters worse EC3 then crashed the segment, reading Angle’s doctors note about his injury, and that EC3 ended Kurt’s Career. Kurt did the scripted “No Tear!” in his knee speech and punched EC3. But after years of watching Kurt perform, I’ve never seen him in more pain than he was in this whole segment. He struggled to walk… Kurt Angle… struggling to walk. It was awkward to watch, punching EC3 seemed like a bad idea given his unstable position. But yet, Angle’s next match will be at Lockdown. This could be like his match last year with Wes… so non eventful. Or he could do something crazy and injure himself even more. He’s apparently already said he’s not going to re-sign with TNA, and expects to be back in the WWE by the end of the year.

Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky vs. Lei’D Tapa and Alpha Female

 

I don’t know if I am supposed to think The Beautiful People have reunited. Given their entrance together, but it’s just not the same without Angelina.

I don’t know what word describes this match better than “Disappointed”. Lei’D Tapa still hasn’t been let off the leash, and what we saw of the Alpha Female was a clear sign of she’s where she is, because of her look. Coz she certainly didn’t do anything well in the ring. Which is more annoying because Tapa quite clearly can Wrestle, and yet she’s not allowed to do anything currently.

And what is worse than all of that, is that Gail helped Tapa win. Gail Kim…. helped the team of Lei’D Tapa and the Alpha Female win. They needed help?

What kind of crappy ass debut is it that this huge beast of a woman, teamed with this even huger beastier of a woman, can’t defeat two little skinny blonde girls, one of which can’t even run the ropes. Yet another wasted debut from a credible talent.

This also puts Gail vs. Madison at Lockdown, and yes, every match is contested in a Steel Cage again… about time.

Samuel Shaw hit the ring to show people that he’s not creepy, and he is purely “misunderstood” and his Quote was quite fitting “To be great, is to be misunderstood”. Works for me, clearly they’re going for a more Dexter look, but I think he looks more like Odo from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

Odo ShawNot a bad casting, now they can make another addition to the TNA: Deluxe Impact wrestling figures, given they’ve already included Commander Riker from Next Generation.

Commander RikerShaw actually had some pretty decent music, so I hope his push continues to somewhere interesting. Anderson didn’t waste much time before he confronted Odo, and quickly got the crowd chanting “Creepy Bastard” at Shaw.

Shaw called Christy Hemme “easy” which resulted in a good old fashioned slap in the face, and Anderson was in to save the day. Well, save by being locked in Shaw’s pretty impressive looking submission hold. Given Anderson is a little more fuzzy in the face, they both dressed the same, looked the same, and from a Distance there was a typical “which one do I shoot?” moment?

Flexo shoot flexoBobby Roode vs. MVP – Austin Aries special Referee

Roode and MVP have been trying to recruit Aries to their Team, and so in the end given it’s a game of Trust, Aries got MVP to make him special guest referee, to judge for himself as to which team he wants to represent.

Aries’ novelty “No trousers” attire soon wore off and became uncomfortable to watch, which I am sure is exactly what he was going for.

However the ending was the selling point, MVP lining up Roode ran full force, as Aries connected with a Spinning Forearm taking down the Charging MVP. Roode hits the….. Roode Bomb… And bob’s your neighbour, once removed, who got arrested for peeping at you through his curtains.

I am Team Roode. I’m also sick of all this Dixie nonsense, but Roode and Aries represent TNA, MVP doesn’t. Makes sense.

James Storm could align with Roode, another TNA original. Samoa Joe, maybe not. But you never know.

 Roode power bar 2Die Hard

I have no idea if MVP will win or Roode will, but I am invested and interested  to find out. Quickly moving on to next week’s show from London, then back to the states!

Huzah, Hurray, Hairy Man.

Till then,

Dan Wilkinson

www.thesteelchair.com

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

Monday Night Raw #1084: March 3, 2014!!!

Comic courtesy of STC Admin Ian Cooper

There is no other intro to describe the opening of this weeks Raw. And so with that, let’s get into it.

RAW #1084… CHICAGO CALLING – JUDGMENT DAY!!!!

WWEJudgment DayOH SNAP!!!!! HE’S HERE!!!!! PUNK MIDAS!!!!!! THE CHICAGO CROWD HAS GONE MAAAAAAAAAAD! SWITCH!!!! Paul Heyman????? Wait a minute??!!!!! That’s not who the fans wanted to see???!!!!

Even Paul Heyman believes Punk Midas deserves louder than that!!! Didn’t he get brukk up a few months ago???

Paul Heyman has actually crossed his legs in the ring!!! Now he’s telling the story of a man who the WWE thought couldn’t amount to a rarse!!! All that Hell In A Cell business don’t mean sh!t!!!! Has Paul Heyman turned face suddenly??? Who claims CM Punk is not in the building? The crowd are having NONE OF IT! Remember – Paul Heyman will lie between his teeth to authority! So he’s lying to the crowd right now!

WHAT????? Heyman points the blame at the fans???? Ok let me hear him out!!!! This could be true! He says that under Heyman, Punk was the longest reigning champion, and as soon as CM Punk became the IWC’s hero, Punk couldn’t do a rarse! Hang on – he blames The Undertaker???? For CM Punk’s short comings??? He wants revenge – he wants BRRRROOOCK LESNAR to end the streak!!! Now you and I know that is not gonna happen! Even the Undertaker chants have been drowned out by CM Punk!

Brock says the Undertaker is afraid of him… Undertaker is afraid of NOBODY I can assure you!!! And as for you Michael Cole…saying that Undertaker has never faced Brock Lesnar??? Have you conveniently forgotten 12 years ago???? GET IN THE CHAIR!!!!!

Hold up – Mark Henry still wants to test Brock Lesnar??? He’s my hero and everything, but he can’t manage him! That’s 3 times Mark Henry got f**ked up! F5 through the table – BLAAAOW!!!

You sure this is a PG show????

13,731 strong in the All State arena in Chicago chanting Punk Midas name regardless of who is in the ring!!!! Usos Vs New Age Outlaws for the tag titles… the match could be don, unless CM Punk shows his scrawny carcass, the fans don’t care! Or maybe they do! They are backing the Usos here!

I want to sympathize with STC member Andrew Theaker, he is tired of this CM Punk sh!t… but how can I do that when his hero is my nemesis – Dolph Ziggler??? This CM Punk sh!t means nothing to the Infamous Informer a.k.a. Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw a.k.a. Grant Body -P!

The Chicago crowd, plus the WrestleMania sign, = the stars fighting their absolute BEST in the ring! The Usos have done enough to stop the crowd chanting Punk Midas!

LAWWWWWWWWWWWWD!!!! The Usos have done it! Jumping over the ring, tagging his partner, taking out Road Dogg, ducks Billy Gunn’s clothesline, kicks him down, climbs top ropes, dive off onto Billy’s carcass – BLAOW!!! NEW TAG TEAM TITLES!!!!

So that’s who that special guest is! He’s in that Need for Speed film!!! I wanna take this time to give a special birthday shout out to my lady Leanna Bergman, she is the Queen of Need For Speed, top of the online league table, big Wu-Tang fan. She’s my heart… Love you girl!!!!

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Haha! Look at the announce table crew fixing up the table… Big E and Cesaro engage in wrestling competition and just like last week, Wack Swagger baits it up for Cesaro! Well The Grant Says this: there’s your Intercontinental jump off right there for WrestleMania! Swagger, Cesaro, Langston. That’s how the f**k they roll!

Raw is straight up Fast & Furious rude boy!!! The Shield. The Wyatt man dem. RETURN TO THE 36 CHAMBERS!!!! LET’S GO!!!

The match hasn’t started yet and the crowd are like ‘THIS IS AWESOME’!!!

BACKSIDE!! Luke Harper has new clothes!!!! Did the staff at Primark have a heart failure???

OH SNAP! Seth Rollins walked out on his Shield bredrin??? Can he do that??? Oh dear!

The announce table gets brukk up a second time!!!! Roman Reigns with the spear to Eric Rowan – BLAOW!!!

But it was the Sister Abigail to Dean Ambrose that ended the Armageddon… oh boy…

Do not forget the Chicago crowd is led by the sexiest cougar in wrestling history – Lisa Marie Varon!

Lisa Marie Varon @REALLiSAMARiE 6h

Time to get ready to go to @WWE Raw. Super excited to see everyone.

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Ok Chicago crowd, Emma-lution and Summer Rae are fine as hell but you are free to chant Punk Midas…. I give you permission!!! I’m not down with that gimmick of Emma’s word up!

Wait a minute didn’t Tajiri used to do that spider move on the ropes? Looks so much better Summer Rae doing it! But Emma got the Emma-Lock on Summer Rae and she lose again!

Next match: Sheamus Vs Christian, continuing their rivalry… I feel bad for you guys… that’s all I’m saying!

The crowd are so fickle, one minute they are into the match, then they saying ‘this is awful’, then they cheering Sheamus, then they chanting for Philip…. mek up yuh mind nuh man???!!!

Even after Sheamus victory, Christian still assaulted Sheamus backstage… yep – they gonna fight at WrestleMania… I doubt it will be normal match here!

GRANT - BODY - P

It’s not often that I back the Bella Twins but I will on this occasion… that Aksana took my girl Naomi out the game, she must suffer a thousand deaths!!!! Only joking Aksana I love you but you are in my bad books right now!

Well done Nikki for pinning Alicia Fox – but Aksana was the target!!! What you doing girl??!!! No matter… on with the show!

WWE are serving justice right now! Is this kiss the fans @$$ Raw? Our hero Danny Bryan goes up against the evil, EVIL BATISTA!!!! Talk about hostility!!!! Even John Cena has to pray for Batista here!!!

OH SNAP!!! Danny just said ‘WE ARE GONNA HIJACK RAW!’ Danny must have heard about the twitter account that opened called @HijackRaw!

Uh oh!!!!! Here comes TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEF!!! You know he’s gonna get booed out the building! Just don’t boo Stephanie please!!! Then again they might call Stephanie a Slut like attitude era days!

He still wants to f**k up Triple at WrestleMania! And Triple is like NAH!!! The crows are calling Triple an @$$hole!!!! F**K that – you want the attitude era back? Just go to Chicago!

Now Stephanie is on it like – WE MADE DANNY!!! OH SNAP!!! Danny just killed it! Why doesn’t Stephanie put on some wrestling trunks and challenge at WrestleMania and Triple put on a skirt!!! OH SH!T!!!

TRUE BIG BIG WRESTLEMANIA XXX LOGO

This is wild YO! Triple tells Danny to get out of his ring, Stephanie calls for Kane, Danny rushes him! Security comes out! BLODCLART! Is this a PG show??!!!!! Danny let me tell you a secret, you have to physically assault Triple or even Stephanie to get him to fight you…. or compare him to Shawn Michaels… that usually works! Ask Undertaker!

Ok so this Need For Speed dude drives into the ring with this fool Dolph Ziggler, the crowd is going crazy… don’t know why… Ziggler ain’t sh!t, and I hope Bertie brukks him up!

Dammit, Bertie let the battybwoy win, thanks to that Need For Speed dude Aaron Paul… yeah anyway…. Hall of Fame time!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Jobber Blogger #92 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 20/2/14

Jobber-Blogger-logo2

The Jobber Blogger

I did say last week that Manchester didn’t disappoint, and last week’s show was the best, till this weeks. Clearly those who attended the show had the best night on the Impact tour I’m sure. Of course that does sell London short… but then London sucks.

London sells itself short by being London, and trust me, I was there last year. The crowd wasn’t nearly as good as Manchester, London isn’t fun to be in, and I was attacked by Chavs trying to leave the horrible “capital” of this country.

I say attacked, one of them tried to command me as to which Turnstile to use, and when I proceeded to not see him as an “Authority” figure of the Tube Station, what with his trousers tucked into his socks and him spitting like a Camel in the middle of the desert. So therefore I just went to the turnstile furthest away from this foul creature and his slaggish looking friends, for him to follow me and push me through the Turnstile so he didn’t need to pay… needless to say the whole thing was rather frightening in the early hours of the morning, but then he got jumped by security and I laughed a little inside. I’ve yet to take a trip to London and enjoy it thoroughly without scratching and crawling my way out as soon as physically possible. So yes…. Boo London!

I guess you could also say Boo with regards to the recent Passing of Nelson Frazier Jnr, though why he only just realised he probably lose some weight is beyond me. Too little too late.

He was always an odd one, not that I’m implying I’m glad he’s dead, quite the opposite. But I never much cared for his characters… gimmicks…. attire o.O

I baffles me why he and Gangrel made a surprise return, and he got kept on and Gangrel was never seen again. Then they dressed him in Pyjama’s and had him rubbing himself on people. Well done WWE, that certainly sucked.

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 20/2/14

I am writing this up on Monday morning, the very same Monday that Hulk Hogan makes his long-awaited Return to the WWE, along with the returning Undertaker, and if they’ve actually made a deal, then I would hazard a guess at Sting too.

Which excites me so much to read about the news stories tomorrow and try and find the effort to find the videos of those segments alone and watch them. God forbid I need to actually “watch” the show. With all this “WWE Network” news floating around, though we will have to wait a while before it hits the UK, I was even tempted looking into purchasing it. But then… I would only want to watch old footage, and probably a lot of WCW footage. And also it’s not worth my money.

What is worth your money though is TNA, and Impact this week was yet another “Ball-In”, and also out… and also running home. I don’t understand sport.

It’s like all the times I was mocked at school for liking Wrestling and not Football “eww, you like oily men hugging each other in their underwear!” said the football fans who clearly don’t notice their idols hitting each other on the ass, taking their shirts off and hugging and then showering together….

Magnus called the shots to get Impact rolling, bringing out Dixie for him to make an announcement regarding MVP’s challenge from last week. Which makes little sense as Magnus doesn’t really seem all that bothered about Dixie’s regime, or Spud or EC3, he just wants the belt. Which I guess in turn means he wants Dixie in power… but then isn’t going to be associated with the Lethal Lockdown match…  so who cares?

A whole load of talking and some name calling later, Magnus and MVP get into trading blows.

Who knew telling someone you want to treat them, take them walks, rub their tummy and have them follow you around would lead to such violent outbursts.

Magnus MVP Bag

Spud did his best to keep the Wolves at bay backstage whilst EC3 joined in on the beat down of MVP, but it was Gunner who brought the fight to Magnus.

The Wolves eventually got through Spud and security and as Magnus and EC3 went to flee, Magnus pushed EC3 “to the Wolves” and made a run for it.

Samoa Joe vs. Bromans and Zema Ion – Handicap Match

To further Joe’s recent rise of credibility, they had him take on and single handily defeat the TNA World Tag-Team Champions and Zema Ion in a 3 on 1 match.

Joe “wanting a fight” issued the challenge, and then asked for all of them to take him on. To be fair, normally something like this would make everyone else look weak, but with Joe’s recent “return to form” I will let it slide. This is a side of Samoa Joe TNA hasn’t let out in a long time. And it’s fun to watch.

I’m glad he didn’t just make quick work of them all and the Bromans with Zema actually controlled a good portion of the match – with a new 3 way running knee in the corner Team move.

Joe eventually got the upper hand and singled out Zema, a short muscle buster and submission hold later, Joe picked up the win. This not only gives him serious momentum but credibility heading into his Title match with Magnus. At this rate, Joe is going to seem unstoppable, if not for some shady shenanigans.

Which I am sure will lead to Joe’s downfall.

A backstage segment I didn’t expect to see this week was a depressed Bobby Roode seeking the advice of one James Storm. Roode’s blow up last week has led him to have some “serious thinking” about where he is going to take his career next. All of that aside, it was great to see Roode and Storm together. I like that they played on the strain of the business, that makes sense. That competitiveness that is Professional Wrestling, that makes sense for Roode to sacrifice everything for that chance at the World Championship. I get that. Though so did James Storm, which is kind of funny given how annoyed he was at the time. It’s wrestling though, people get over the most craziest of things to be friends once more. If the fans can change the Rock’s opinions of Rikishi after he ran down Steve Austin with his car… then a beer bottle is nothing, right?

Gail Kim (w/ Lei’D Tapa) vs. Madison Rayne – Street Fight

This sort of came out of nowhere. Sure they had their issues, but after Madison won the title, we’ve barely seen anything of their feud. And now all of sudden it’s at such a fever pitch they need to settle it in a Street Fight?

Better yet was the rather touching Video Package they ran before this match. All about the Wrestlers and their reactions to the UK Tour this year. With a new team like The Wolves who could have gone in a much different direction, but went with TNA, it was awesome to have them talk so highly of their run currently. However the video took a rather strange turn when it just said “not everyone got along” and then Madison and Gail were shown fighting, and so we have this match…

Madison Rayne also debuted new music, it’s the same song, but a more Acoustic – light hearted feel no doubt to fit with her current change of heart.

I was a little surprised that Lei’D Tapa didn’t play more of a role in this match than she did. Sure she attacked Madison a little. But given it’s stipulation, I expected her to be more forceful. Gail took a dive face first into a Chair pushed between the ropes, and I believe Madison booted the Chair in Gail’s face also. Tapa got involved however toward the end and acted as the distraction, Rayne taking wild swings at her with a chair, but Gail attacked Madison from behind with the Knockouts Championship and took the win.

Though she won, she was bleeding from the nose, so not sure if it was more serious, or just a nasty knock. But it’s certainly weird to see it from a Women’s match. Perhaps this Street Fight is paving the way for the returning crazy Taryn Terrell in the near future?

James Storm wasn’t satisfied with just giving Roode a much needed Pep Talk. Instead he went to chat with Gunner. If the segment wasn’t awkward enough with them both sitting around with just T-shirts on, but Storm’s best attempts of a Pep talk, kind of sucked.

Gunner Storm pants

Gunner decided to give Storm the World Tag-Team Championship briefcase, for some reason. Something about when he’s won the World Championship, they can then fight for the Tag Belts… which they could do if Gunner had the briefcase anyway.

Storm’s attempts of prepping Gunner for the big leagues pretty much consisted of having him babble on about how he’s been there, which is short lived in the first place. The best sentence was “and you’re praying for… and just, holding that belt up high”.

Bad things Sentence

Bobby Roode took to the ring to make a heartfelt speech, the type of speech that quickly turns him a face. “Proud to call Impact my home”, that he can’t put up with Dixie Carter anymore and to top it all off he thanks the crowd. And then just like that they forget he screwed over AJ Styles and Sting and helped Magnus every step of the way.

To be fair people love Roode regardless of if he is a Heel or not. He then claims this is his last night as a Pro Wrestler, before Dixie tells him he’s under contract, and doesn’t get to make those choices.

The actual interesting part aside from seeing a good guy out of Roode, is Dixie wants him to be the Captain of his team. See, initially I thought Dixie would bring him on board and he would screw her team over and give power to MVP to get back at her for not giving him the World Title shot despite his helping hand in putting over Magnus.

Now, Roode is her Team Captain, because if he beats MVP’s team at Lockdown, he will get 10% of the company. And his lawyers get to draw up any type of contract and she will sign it no questions asked. So now, I am sort of hoping that Roode beats MVP’s team. Clearly before it seemed like MVP would win so they could start “changing ” things within TNA. But having Dixie in control, and Roode, I think would make a much more interesting angle.

The Online GutCheck winner – Bad Dog someone, a German guy, was being interviewed backstage, where Anderson and Christy Hemme were seen looking at Anderson’s child photos. That’s photo’s of his recently born twins….

Earlier on in the night Samuel Shaw attacked some random British luggage guy or someone of a similar role “British Wrestler” no doubt. So Shaw attached Anderson and in the process knocked Hemme down also. He then carried her backstage whilst she was unconscious and stared at her… before she regained consciousness. No quite sure how far they are going to push this one. It’s borderline now, there isn’t many other places it could go before it gets rather dark.

Still, I like the idea of Shaw and Anderson feuding, though I do feel it’s probably to put over Shaw more so. I guess this means Bully isn’t coming back anytime soon after he barely fit into that coffin last week.

The Wolves vs. Bad Influence

With the likes of Hogan and Sting freeing up some contract money, we’ve seen TNA bring in a good few new faces. Even if they haven’t made their debuts yet. The Wolves are leading the way, a fantastic team and a great asset.

They actually just won the Tag-Titles at a house show, no doubt that will be on next week’s show… I don’t know how this works, as it was taped ages ago, but airs next week, but this house show was the other night. So okay.

Who better for The Wolves to do battle against than Bad Influence, I want a best of Five Series this year. This match was pure awesome – that’s all you need to know.

Oh and The Wolves won..

There was yet another Video Package for Jeff Hardy’s “Willow” Character. See, I like the videos, they are done well and he carries a great eerie feel with them. How this will transfer onto Live Television, is a completely different matter entirely. I hope well….

Gunner vs. Magnus – World Heavyweight Championship – Magnus Rules

I still feel Gunner needs some new music if he’s going to be pushed to the extent he currently is. But Gunner is awesome, his video package during the show about his time in the Marines and his lifelong passion for Wrestling really lets you in on his life. He’s a guy we still don’t really know. It wasn’t until last year when he randomly teamed up with Storm that people really started to take notice of him.

He wore a new Red Ring Jacket to the Ring which also looked pretty awesome. So he’s getting there in terms of being a force to be reckoned with.

The match was made a “Magnus Rules” match from the Bell, which is no DQ with a fancy name. Or like how a No DQ / Street Fight / Death Match are all the same thing.

Magnus quickly turned to calling out his backup, given a little blow-up earlier on in the night between he and EC3 for “throwing him to The Wolves”, it was The Wolves and James Storm who came out instead.

Of course crazy booking took over, still don’t know if Vince Russo is behind this or not, I certainly hope not. But needless to say EC3 – Bromans and Spud soon made their appearance.

The Wolves and Storm battled the Bromans and EC3 away from the ring side as Gunner dropped Magnus with an impressive Power-Bomb / top rope Head-butt but Spud put Magnus’ foot on the rope.

Gunner distracted by Spud was hit from behind by Magnus and the World Championship, leading to only a Two-Count, but the fans went crazy!

When TNA ever do anything like that, usually the crowd is rather quiet, maybe because they know what’s going to happen, but maybe not. Still, the atmosphere was fantastic, Storm came back out to get rid of Spud and Gunner went to the top rope once more, only this time Storm hit Gunner with The Last Call superkick on his way down, and Magnus took the Win.

We all knew it was coming sooner or later, and it was good when we finally got there. I’m excited to see Storm as a Heel once more, he’s been dragging his feet for too long. Not to mention I’m sure a Gunner vs. Storm Cage-Match at Lockdown is happening, which would be a great match to boot.

I was actually surprised by how good this match was, sure it’s riddled with run-ins, but I was expecting something good, but nothing special. To me, this match was Awesome, so was The Wolves vs. Bad Influence, and for that reason it puts this show above most in recent memory!

Next week – Bobby Roode takes on MVP and Kurt Angle goes into the TNA Hall of Fame for some reason!

Till then,

Dan Wilkinson

www.thesteelchair.com

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

Monday Night Raw #1083: February 24, 2014

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

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The Infamous Informer

Oooooooooooooooh WWE know how to wind you b!tches up don’t they???!!! Have you abandoned hope for Danny??? You went a

nd tried to get the WWE Network after they dun told you that it’s only available in the US…. THE GRANT SAYS Have patience!!! You really need to see your wrestling ‘god’ Chris Benoit fight?? What is wrong with you people??? Yes – today is unofficially called #ChrisBenoitDay… and I’ll tell you something else: I’m not interested in the wrestling matches this week… Hulk H

ogan is back! Undertaker is supposed to be back! Bare storyline and joke me ah deal wid!!!

All bets are off! WrestleMania XXX cometh! RAW #1083.. HOL’DAT B

LAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

…And before I begin, Every week leading up I’m gonna put up the big BIG WrestleMania XXX sign to make you know seh – THIS SH!T IS SERIOUS!

HE’S BAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCK!!! He escaped the TNA sinking ship! Dixie held on to his leg! He said – SHUDDUP!!! He

saw the WrestleMania sign!!!! He knew he had to be there! He was at the 1st WrestleMania, and on the 30th WrestleMania, he’s gonna host the event!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAT!! And I’m a Warrior fan! Welcome Back Hulk Hogan!

TRUE BIG BIG WRESTLEMANIA XXX LOGO

Come on – you can’t tell me that sign isn’t POWERFUL???!!!

Oh no – we gonna have a rematch with Batista and Bertie??? Like I said, this week, it ain’t about the wrestling matches… it’s about STORYLINE! That’s my focus this week!

Why is Brock Lesnar here as well??? I think I know the answer… if it is the answer I’m thinking…. I’m gonna mark out like a BIATCH!!!!!

Well I can say one thing, I’m glad they restored Bertie’s music! And they still booing my Wu-Tang friend Batista! So disrespectful…. DEAL WITH IT!!!!

Damn they booing Batista so much that even John Cena is thinking dayuuum!!! I must have passed the relay baton on!!!

Big ups to Jerry Lawler who pointed out the reason you jabronies are booing Batista, because of the Danny Bryan factor!!! WOW!!!! That’s the first time that was acknowledged!!! I’m stroking my shaolin long beard here!!!

Oh dear Randall f**ked up Batista’s runnings!!! And he’s… oh hang on… they’re chanting CM Punk… what can that muthaf***a do??? Now Batista is on some John Cena promo sh!t – “I don’t care if they boo me or not I’m gonna brukk up your blousecup Randall – DEAL WITH IT!!’” Oh I get it… is that his ‘go home line’???? You know what you need to do Batista? You need to call your friend The RZA… he will get the fans on your side again!

So hold up, what if Cesaro defeats Big E???? That’s gonna look embarrassing on Wack Swagger won’t it? I have a revelation on that We The People chanting crap… it’s because they supporting Cesaro’s fighting style, not the garbage that Zeb Colter spews out his dutty mouth!

Oh snap – I just missed Cesaro dropping that tilt-a-whirl slam on Big E!!! My own fault… I did say – f**k wrestling and concentrate on the stories!

Haha! funny… quick question – will YOU be purchasing the Royal Rumble 2014 DVD??

That’s what I thought!!!!

Considering that I’m not interested in wrestling matches, this match between Cesaro and Langston was quality… but why did Swagger come in and teef and f**k it up for Cesaro??? Well let’s be real… We love Cesaro, Swagger is WACK, and it’s only now the heediat clocked on.

I know John Cena ain’t no Stone Cold Steve Austin… he cut a promo talking about the WWE Network and any man has to go through Cena, Bray Wyatt stepping forward to f**k him up out of the title and all that… imagine if Austin cut this promo! He be like – I don’t give a rat’s @$$ about the WWE Network, Bray Wyatt you son of a b!tch – you cost me the WWE Championship so I want you to get your sorry @$$ out here so I can give you a can of @$$ whoopin, stomp a mud hole in your @$$ and walk it dry!

If three-man (The Shield) can’t manage The Wyatt man dem… what chance does John Cena have??? Him strong but him nah have the strength of 3 men, let alone 10 men!

STOP CHANTING THAT MUTHAF***A’S NAME!!! He ain’t leaving his room reading all them comics and sh!t!!!! You know what, listen to the wise words of DMX… I’m sick of you muthaf***az…

Dayuuuuum!!! In this contest between Christian and Sheamus, Christian give Sheamus three b!tch slap…. Sheamus turned and gave a menacing smile!!!! You know this dude loves to fight!!!!

“I should be the champion!!!” Grunts Christian… oh well… DEAL WITH IT MUTHAF***A!!!

Was that a seed planted???? Danny Bryan upset that he got teefed again, that he got out at Triple and said he wants to f**k him up at WrestleMania??? Triple is laughing off the idea! If you ask me, that sounds more satisfying than fighting for the title, think about it, fighting Triple Teef is LIKE FIGHTING FOR THE TITLE! Do you know what this could possibly mean? That YOUR SAVIOR CM Punk, should he come back next week in Chicago, could possibly be the third man and enter the title picture! I ain’t tryna gas you up or anything… I’m jussayin…

Big ups to WWE for acknowledging Tony Atlas and Rocky Johnson (hang on – Canadian born???) Word????? You learn something new everyday!

Ric Flair and Booker-T in the hiz-house!!!! And now Danny is out to fight off my hero Kane… to think they had a crazy @$$ bond this time last year!

HA! HA! Mike Cole & JAY-BEE has argued about Triple seemingly laughing off Danny’s challenge… this is great!!!! Talking about – WWE Network just drop – Triple is a business man… great counter by Cole – yeah – a business man who is quick to jump in the ring with the likes of Undertaker, Brock Lesnar, even Curtis Axel!!! But can’t test Danny???? I’m saying hmmmm!!!

Who is that idiot that is chanting ‘NO’ after Danny kicks down my Hero Kane??? He must be a Dolph Ziggler fan!!! (Sorry Andrew Theaker of the STC!)

GRANT BODY – P!!!

GRANT - BODY - P

LAWWWWDD!! Danny’s rage was all he needed to kick out of Kane’s chokeslam! How many muthaf***az can say they have done that???!!!! Next minute – Danny with the Dragon Knee – BLAOW!!!! In Kane’s mouth corner!!! Kane nah get up – is TRIPLE TEEF TAKING NOTES??!!!

Say what??? Triple TEEF is a COWARD??!!! He hid behind his wife’s skirt?? Lawwwwd Danny has put Triple on BLAST!!!! I approve this match! Danny Bryan Vs TRIPLE TEEF at WRESTLEMANIA XXX!!! I gotta send for the STC Danny theme tune here!

Now this should be interesting, Emma-Lution Vs Summer Rae – I have it on great authority that these two gyal can wrestle…. you know what they say about gyal that can wrestle….!!!

I cannot believe those muthaf***az are still chanting that cry-baby’s name… so f**k!n disrespectful…

…and to think… that they wanted Eva Marie to dye her hair blonde… she may have no particular set of skills but I respect her for coming different.

Emma has a super move called the ‘Emma-Lock’??!!!! Is that how she gets down in the streets??? This girl is getting popular FAST… AJ Lee – I’d take notes!

OH SNAP!!! The Uso brudda box down Road Dogg while he did his DX promo!!! I was enjoying that!!! Next minute the Uso Brudda beat them! That means they got another title shot…. don’t they???!!!!!

I know I said I didn’t care about the wrestling matches this week… I may have to take it back! Now we got Bray Wyatt Vs Roman Reigns one on one! Straight Violence awaits!!!!

Is it me or does my dude Roman Reigns look worried in the ring? Nah – he just focussed and determined to brukk up Bray’s blouse cup!

Maybe it should be Seth Rollins taking on Bray? I mean, Seth smashed it at the epic gang warfare match!!!

You see The Wyatt Man dem and The Shield agreed that they will leave their bredrin in the back… but I don’t recall Dean Ambrose receiving that message… and during this message the crowd still chant CM Punk??? I understand Randy Savage but CM Muthaf**k!n Punk??? That sh!t is starting to make me dislike Punk again word up!!! Now they chanting Undertaker??? Ok y’all might as well chant Jay-Bee, Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole too! I know you want to!

Wait a minute – The Wyatts said they would stay back!!! TEEF!!!!!! The Shield had to come through quick time! The fans want a Part 2 of this ruckus! But it ain’t gonna happen at WrestleMania… sorry to disappoint you.

Oh my god…. BRRROCCCCK LESSSNAR… He’s here!!!! STC’s Lee Steadx is wishing, hoping, touching all the wood in the world, that he wants Brock to be in the title picture… if anything, the way I got it figured, that honor goes to CM Punk.. then guess what… he gets what he wants, to main event WrestleMania XXX in a triple threat and every muthaf***a is happy!!!

So you mean to tell me that Triple and Steph gave Brock an open contract to fight ANYBODY at WrestleMania??? UH OH!!!!! Brock wants to make history… I can’t lie, I am NERVOUS!!!

HOLY F**********************************K!!!! IT’S…….IT’S……….IT’S HIM!!!! He walked straight up to Brock Lesnar, took one look at the WrestleMania sign… Brock signed the contract, he pushed the pen in Taker’s chest…. MISTAKE! Taker stabbed the pen through Brock’s hand, signed the contract, then CHOKESLAM THROUGH THE TABLE- BLAOWWWWWWWW!!

Brock has conquered everything except one thing: Break the streak! But Undertaker has NEVER defeated Brock Lesnar….

The question is now – WHAT TITLE MATCH???? Does Philip Brooks have the answer???

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

BDSIR Networkhttp://www.cageamateursuk.com

http://www.striketapandgrapple.com

http://www.whitecollarfightclub.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Jobber Blogger #91 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 13/2/14

 

Jobber Blogger logo2

Well isn’t this fun! It’s half-term! Bloody brilliant half term! My job is riddled with Kids Films and an endless sea of Children running around screaming dropping things and making a mess. In short, making my life miserable! I have to go to work most every day, and some of these days are Early! EARLY! 8:45am! I’m not used to these conditions, I went to University!

So yes, it means I have valid reasons for Writing this up slightly later than my normal “weekend” routine. Though it could also be called “laziness” but I resent that. Resent it, applaud it, condole it, embrace it, and really… Really!! You think I’m lazy, you know how hard I work every week to Write this blog! 2hours! 2 Whole hours a week!

Okay so I am joking, I spent a lot of time on my projects and I am immensely proud of The Jobber Blogger, up weekly on MyIGN Page, Cage Amateurs UK and now The Steel Chair, with support and promotions from Total Nonstop Rewind! You don’t get that kind of Voluntary – nonpaid work by being lazy let me tell you!

….Wrestling!

Impact Wrestling Logo

 TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 13/2/14

Once again Manchester doesn’t disappoint. Last year when I was privileged enough to attend the TNA Shows, Manchester was “by far!” the best Crowd. But seeing as though over a year later and a certain someone still hasn’t paid me back from last year’s tour, then funds are a little low to do it again. I doubt he will even read this!

Moving on!

Manchester was on fire all night…. not literally, that would have definitely given the show a different “atmosphere”

Manchester on fire

Fire-Boo!!! Also I forgot to put Sugar in my over-sized Tea Mug…. BRB!

BRB! Flipping be right back! As if I used to spend my days on MSN using such slang as BRB! What lame-o’s. It’s like these internet kids today with their “blogs”…. idiots!

So anyway! Manchester certainly gave Impact that much needed “spidadil” that is a word… look it up.

Taz joined Tenay on the Commentary this week.. don’t know why he wasn’t on it the last two weeks. Yet again TNA didn’t have an announce table, which to me really sucks.

It ruins the show when you’re supposed to believe it’s live and they care, yet it’s taped weeks ago and then dubbed by Commentary.

As I most amazingly predicted last week, Dixie, Magnus and EC3 kicked off the show, and as I most amazingly predicted incorrectly was that the English fans would Cheer Magnus…. Nope.. they hated him.

Which means well done TNA, you turned him Heel successfully………… also Spud.

The whole point was aimed at the Investor Storyline, with Dixie stating that MVP or anyone else, has no chance of changing how she runs her company.

That MVP’s recent actions and threats are just “words” that they don’t care about. Funny thing, it feels like MVP has been around for a while now, yet this was actually his Second Day with TNA. It’s crazy.

Anyway, MVP obviously came out with his “rebuttal”…. it’s a real word, look it up! Samoa Joe joined MVP by his side when he announced that Magnus and Joe will do battle in the Main Event of Lockdown for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.

Which of course is when Gunner came out and through a…. briefcase…… in the plan of MVP’s, by saying he is Cashing in – next week – on Magnus.

And this in turn led to Dixie putting Gunner in a match against EC3 with Gunner’s Briefcase on the line, and MVP upped the stakes by putting EC3’s World Tag-Team Title Shot Briefcase up for grabs also.

Gunner and James Storm vs. EC3 and Magnus – Winner Takes AllSee, despite Dixie and co blabbed on a little too much for my liking with nothing really to say, having this Ladder match for the Two remaining Briefcases is an awesome start to the show.

So far nothing but bad luck surrounds the recent “Feast of Fired” Winners, Zema cashed in last week and got his ass handed to him, EC3 did nothing and now loses his, Gunner has had to retain and defend his Briefcase so many times, and then of course there’s Chavo… who didn’t get a chance to do any of that.

Though I’m sure MVP will bring him back, much to my dismay.. unless of course he returns as “PONCHO GUERRERO!” The fire’iest, feistiest, fired up Mexican to ever be… fired?

Poncho G FiredProbably coming in the next Wave of TNA’s Deluxe Impact – You’re Fired – Range of Wrestling Figures

Long story short, Magnus got involved, Storm got involved and MVP then made this a Tag-Team match.

MVP is like the Hulk Hogan, TNA wanted Hulk Hogan to be like. I take back my thoughts and reservations of bringing MVP into TNA…. I love him. He is straight to the point, awesome on the mic, he makes you believe his words and he can get it done in the ring. Perfect choice.

EC3 actually had a rather good showing in this Match too, including an impressive Top-Rope Splash on Gunner on the Ladder, which at once got the Crowd going crazy… and then they realised who he was and Booed the hell out of him.

In the end EC3 and Magnus got into a heated debate about EC3 trying to get down the World Title Contender briefcase, and then Storm cleaned house and Gunner got down the Cases for the Win.

Side note, I actually had a good idea which I think is awesome (coz I’m big headed like that) but what if Magnus got the Cases! Hear me out, the next time there is a Feast or Fired match, the World Champion should get involved, imagine if he won the Number One Contender Case for his own belt. What that means is if he loses his belt, he can then not only get his Contracted re-match, but yet a further Title Match.

Now if he remains Champion, you could flip the Perk, he could Cash In his Case to NOT Defend the Title. I think that’s awesome. Or, if he has a Number One Contender, he could cash his Title Defence whenever he wanted.

Loads of awesome ideas in there! I should write this show!

Also who else wanted Storm to turn on Gunner? It must be in the works, I think they made them both “Buddy Buddy” purely to try and throw people off the scent, but I’m sure it’s coming. Maybe when Gunner has his Title Match? Maybe after. Maybe if he wins? Who knows.

Maybe never… I guess?

Bromans and DJ Zema Ion vs. The Wolves and Samoa Joe

Bromans went crazy at Spud backstage, as apparently there was a Verbal Agreement between them and EC3 to not Cash In on a Tag-Title Shot any time soon, but obviously with him now losing that Case, they are probably going to end up defending the belts soon.

And in turn, this led to MVP putting them in a 6-Man Tag against The Wolves and a Mystery Partner.

What more can I say, I’ve been looking forward to seeing The Wolves in action since before they signed with TNA, lots of talk about the team. And they didn’t disappoint. They have a great look, good attire, awesome music and they deliver in the ring, hey it sucks to lose Sting, but if we get more talent like this… when that’s a good thing right?

Also not disappointing is Samoa Joe, who is always “over” no matter what Story they place him in. People love Joe. And for Joe to recently be taking a “Locker-room Leader” position, it makes sense for him to be out in the Spotlight. It’s been a long time since he’s been in the Main Event for any serious consideration. And Joe Thrives under that spotlight.

But that doesn’t take anything away from the Bromans either, who are easily carrying the Tag-Team Division themselves of late, and doing a fantastic job with it. More of Zema at ring side with his DJ Desk though!

I said it before, I want TNA to rebuild the Divisions, especially the Tag-Team Division, and with Bromans, Bad Influence, Storm and Gunner, The Wolves, things are looking pretty damn good. Maybe throw in EC3 and Spud. I want another Best of 5 Series, Wolves vs. Bromans would be fantastic, or Bad Influence.

Joe went to town on Zema Ion and picked up a Submission Victory for his Team.

Abyss – Unmasked 

I didn’t expect him to walk to the Ring without his Mask on, but then I am glad he did. It’s always weird seeing a Masked guy – Unmasked. Kane just hasn’t been the same since he took it off, and yes he put it back on.. .but it’s not the same. With Abyss though, I think they played it so well by having the Two Characters, we got to know Joseph Park before they connected the dots. Not to mention he is such a great Character Actor, always has been, but his work between both personalities is really incredible, especially for a Wrestling Show.

Abyss called out EY, and in his speech you could see him switch between Abyss and Joseph Park, and it just worked.

Abyss screams at EY “Who am I?!” and claims that he can’t be Abyss anymore.

I get that the segment maybe went a little too long, but it was powerful stuff. I really liked it. I love Abyss, and I am enjoying watching this “change”. I have a good feeling about where it’s heading next.

As to end the segment he said “I need to go away and find someone who truly understands me”.

Which to any long-time TNA fan knows could quite possibly lead to a return appearance from Father James Mitchell.

Abyss said before the Joseph Park storyline came about, that he feels unmasking the Character would be a good thing in adding more layers to him. And now Abyss is uncertain, confused, he could go away and come back better than ever, and I really hope he does!

Abyss Mitchel

 Rockstar Spud vs. MVP

Spud and MVP with Dixie had a great segment backstage, though anything with Spud in it, is gold. Not only did he put Tape across the floor of Dixie and MVP’s office, (giving Dixie more space and flowers) but Spud got in MVP’s face about him being Washed up. Which of course led to MVP putting himself in a match with Spud.

It was only a short match, something to put MVP over in the ring, and Spud is an excellent worker. The Manchester crowd got behind his “Ball-in” elbow drop, and MVP’s running Kick to the face of Spud led to the victory.

My only gripe is that I wish they cut MVP’s theme down on the Entrance part, it’s fine for his entrance, though he does seem to be walking to the ring before the actual Music starts. But when he ends a Promo with a snappy remark, or wins a Match, you want his Music to hit straight away, not the opening intro that takes far too long to get going in those circumstances.

Also on Impact was a Vignette for “Willow”. I shall add it if I can find it. If you don’t know, this is Jeff Hardy, probably rather obvious. Willow the Wisp is an old school Character of Jeff’s which he used to use before he went to the WWF. It’s something he messes around with if you watch “The Hardy Show” also of recent years.

How this makes sense… I don’t know.

He is advertised to be coming back at Lockdown, as Jeff Hardy. Whether he is bringing in another character remains to be seen. If he is coming back as Willow the Wisp, that makes no sense. Jeff under the pressure of Dixie’s reign quit…. but he then comes back and has apparently lost his mind.

I have a horrible feeling this is going to be awful, I love Jeff, I do my best to support him. He is very talented and very creative… the problem lay with he, himself, is not so good at doing the things he wants to be creative with. His promos usually suck. He doesn’t always look “that good”. His music is good… but perhaps not great. He’s never been good at selling a “character” or a promo, so for him to be this weird thing on World Wide TV… It might just be really embarrassing. I hope he pulls it off. But I’ve seen him do this character before…. and it’s just awkward, and embarrassing.

Though if it turns out to be Willow Smith, then by all means, let’s all Whip Our Hair Back and Forth!

Velvet Sky vs. Chris Sabin

hen Sabin is trying to be annoying and over the top… is when he is at his best. His “Twerk” on the Ropes to mock Velvet had me in hysterics.

Just like his “Will you get the hell out of my life!” from last week did.

And to further my evidence that Velvet, as lovely and great that she is… really does suck, she tried to Kick Sabin in the Groin… and hit his knee. Sabin started to sell before he realised she missed. So he asked “why did you kick me in the knee?” then she gets it right and hits him in the groin.

Sabin reveals his Cup, Velvet low-blows him from behind then starts hitting him like crazy before the arrival of the Alpha Female.

See I totally forgot she was debuting in TNA soon. I knew it was coming up, but I forgot, so it was a pleasant surprise. I do wish she didn’t wear what she wore though. I hope she’s a good addition, people in Manchester didn’t know who she was. Though more additions to the Knockouts the better. However isn’t ODB sort of like Alpha Female… and if Alpha Female wants to be a “Bigger” Knockout, then Lei’D Tapa has her beat there also. So she’s a strange fit in a addition that has two superiors or either side of her gimmick.

I will be really annoyed if Alpha Female comes across more impressive than Tapa, because Tapa really hasn’t had the chance to be “herself” yet.

Alpha Female TNA

 Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson – Casket Match

Backstage Bully went through Andersons things and found his phone, calling the picture of his kids “cute” then rang his wife saying it’s the phone call she’s been dreading. It’s tough stuff to watch, obviously we all know its Wrestling and therefore the Storyline isn’t real. But, it’s a real-life subject to be that brash and controversial about, kudos to Anderson for allowing it.

Bully wore a Liverpool Football Jersey to the ring just to provoke the fans more so… if I followed Football I might have understand the reference. (I got it… I was joking… though also Boo Football!) TNA certainly didn’t let their budget run dry on this match, as the Casket looks terrible, the lid fell off, it broke trying to put it back on, naff construction. I hope they don’t bury people in these things, it’s a Wonder the body doesn’t fall out the Bottom as it’s being carried by the Paul Bearers.

Aside from your usual “cheesy” moments, like Anderson having a Test of Strength with Bully trying to lift the Coffin Lid, it was a good match. It must be a difficult match to keep entertaining, it’s also a little bit stupid. Because it doesn’t really do anything. I suppose it’s not a nice thing to be put inside of. But then they can just get back out of it again really easy.

There was a great high spot with Bully Power-Bombing Anderson through a Table which led to an awesome TNA! TNA! Chant from the great crowd.

Bully tried to Pile-Drive Anderson in the Casket, but Anderson reversed into a Mic Check that sent Bully face first in the Coffin, he then got a nice “Pop” as he threw the Liverpool Jersey in also and Anderson picked up the Win… well as much as he could, as the Lid didn’t fit back on the Coffin.

Dixie and MVP closed out the show once more, this time backstage as Dixie prepared a Contract to “Buy-Out” MVP’s Shares.

MVP turned down the Deal and challenged her to a Lethal Lockdown Match – Team Dixie vs. Team MVP – Winner gets Full Control over the “Wrestling Operations” of TNA.

I am a little sick of seeing these types of Matches, it’s always people battling to control something, usually TNA. But hey, I like this Story so far, and I look forward to see where it goes from here.

Impact was awesome this week, a great packed show with awesome matches, surprise debuts, in ring debuts, crazy matches, and great segments!

Not to mention a crazy Crowd and TNA hit a Home Run.

Can’t wait for next week’s show also from Manchester with Gunner and Magnus (I believe) for the World Championship.

Till Then,

Dan Wilkinson

www.thesteelchair.com

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

www.cageamateursuk.com

www.striketapandgrapple.com

 

Monday Night Raw #1082: February 17, 2014

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

Ok straight up and down, I am refusing to read any spoilers or rumours that are WrestleMania related. I want to be surprised. But I was actually surprised by this rumour and this had me in stitches!

Now hold up – we haven’t gone back in time… or have we? Imagine that one Monday night… Vincent Kennedy says – “I have purchased Newcastle United Football Club??!!!” Yes people! That is the latest rumour. Imagine if Mike Cole, Lawler and Jay-Bee actually made joke of that on this weeks RAW!!! #1082 – HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZYes Cena keep hyping the crowd with that Road to WrestleMania sh!t… We all know one thing – YOU AIN’T GOING MUTHAF***A!!!

Word is that Antonio Cesaro – had a wicked match with Randall on Smackdown… word is that they also shortened his name just to Cesaro… yeah whatever – HE’S THE MAN TO WATCH IN THE CHAMBER!!! And Cena – don’t be stealing lines from my dude Undertaker – he was the one who says don’t be writing cheques that your mouth be writing!

Oh I get it, everyone that’s in the chamber gotta come out and talk their sh!t!!! Ok all y’all lyrics didn’t impress me – stop your noise and fight!

Or maybe not… my hero Kane is here! and he’s still the D.O.O. Can’t the authority allow Kane to set people on fire????

Oh snap – Kane’s in charge??? That’s it – set the world on fire like U-God!!!

Wait a minute – Jay-Bee said – “popularity doesn’t win championships – TALENT wins championships”… so how do you explain Daniel Bryan who has BOTH???

Look at my hero Kane watching the Christian Vs Danielson match with a smile…as if he’s planning something… Yes Kane I know you can’t wait to put Danny’s body in the casket, shut the lid, set the sh!t on fire and have Triple BURY the remains…. THE GRANT SAYS – When did Undertaker give the relay baton to Triple and said – ‘Ok now you gotta bury people???’

Oh lawwd – Christian lost again??? He got no momentum going into the Chamber… not a good look for the kid who wants one more match…uh oh Kane is speaking…

Danny has to fight my hero Kane???? OH SNAP!!! This ain’t cool rude boy! Triple is definitely behind this!!!

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Is it me or does Stephanie in that poster above reminds me of Urotsukidoji cover??? Soz Steph didn’t mean to call you the Overfiend! You are so much prettier!!!

Urotsukidoji original

THAT IS TEEF!!! Kane’s job was to intentionally get disqualified and f**k up Daniel Bryan before the Chamber… anything to prevent him from winning the belt…

Here we go again… Fandango Vs Santino, Summer Rae and Emma in effect… I just found out that Emma looks up to Trish Stratus and Stone Cold Steve Austin as idols??? I’m sure Trish and certainly not Austin dance like that I’ll tell you that!

You see what happen when you flirt with gyal Santino? You lose!!!! You wait til you win… then you get on top of Emma!

Uh oh!! Roman you’re my dude but my ninja Mark Henry is out to put you in the Hall Of Pain…. THATS WHAT HE DO!!!

And just for no reason let’s throw in a pic of Renée Young… I cannot look at her and NOT have erotic thoughts in my head top…

renee_young_png_2_by_undertaker02-d6wbyqw

Oh Renée you so fine – Damn where’s the recipe – you make a n!**@ wanna GOD DAMN!!! Can you cook darling???

I love this sh!t!!! The Wyatts asking The Shield if they are willing to DIE for this sh!t!!! Why isn’t this for WrestleMania??? I’d take a wack Elimination Chamber for an epic ruckus between the Shield and the Wyatt man dem at big Big BIG WrestleMania XXX! You may not like the mind games the Wyatt man be doing, but it makes the anticipation more gripping! It’s like smelling the KFC… but you can’t afford to go in the shop to buy that goodness!

Listen to the crowd with this Kingston Vs Swagger match… GET OVER IT – stop chanting the bwoy name (CM Punk) he ain’t chanting ‘I MISS THE CROWD! I MISS THE CROWD!!!’ He’s waiting for AJ Lee to come home so he can feel on her big fat fanny, pull out the jammy and kill the punany… and his tingz go deep, so deep and put her @$$ to sleep like his super move!

Yeah whatever Wack Swagger – you may have beat Kingston but Big E Langston will f**k you up at the Chamber!

How the f**k is Zeb Colter gonna talk sh!t while Big E is in the ring fighting?? I know what I would do…. I say no more…

How dare Colter diss Big E about not knowing his history…. as it’s February, as its BLACK HISTORY??? Oh my god Big E – If you don’t f**k him up – I WILL!!!

You don’t understand my blood is boiling right now! That’s like Remy in Higher Learning telling Omar Epps that he’s nothing… I’m sure I was one of my ancestors in a past life who tore off his chains on the slave ship and beat down the devils before I was shot….

Shout out to Ron Simmons! They featured him on Black History month… he was my first favourite in WCW before Booker-T…

So let me get this right so I can understand this: Any next generation superstar that wants to make a name for themselves, gotta go through John Cena?

IWC Translation: If you can’t beat my fireman’s carry that is called the Attitude Adjustment then I am liable to help ‘bury’ you alongside my good fren Triple Teef!!!

Word??? John Cena on the Steve Austin Show??? Now THAT I wanna hear!

Backing Cesaro all the way on this one!!! If he can defeat Randall, he can defeat Cena! It can be done! He’s not invincible! He can stay down for 3!!!

Why the F**K is Swagger and Colter out there again? I understand giving Cesaro support, but if I was Big E Langston I’d come back down there and box down Colter! Yes I respect my elders but how can you respect somebody who has a problem with your Ethnicity???

Amazing counter techniques by John Cena and Cesaro!!!! Cesaro got out of the 5 moves of Doom… Cena countering the Giant Swing! That’s a bad omen yo!!! Crowd chanting THIS IS AWESOME!!! A superplex from the outside from Cesaro!!! BUMBACLART!!! Antonio Cesaro, I got a song for you and it goes like this…

BIG UPS!!! Cena won the match, but Antonio Cesaro has a unique set of skills… SKILLS, that can f**k up anyone at any given time!

Oh man Titus how are you gonna let Darren Young rip off your good trousers like that on Smackdown??? Darren of all people man!!! Sorry Daz, I gotta back my boy Titus at the Chamber… be fruitful and multiply. And if that’s what Titus supports then I support it too!!!

GRANT - BODY - P

Shout out to STC’s Anthony Cardenas – I think he’s on the money!!! He thinks Titus gonna brukk up Darren Young, go on to WrestleMania to fight Big E, which means Swagger is gonna LOSE the IC title fight at the Chamber! Now with Titus and Big E, I can’t call who will win!

We have seen Los Matadores on a winning streak since they come through… well it’s over for them because they got the Wyatt man dem!

Well not exactly… yes Los Matadores did lose… but they didn’t get pinned. Their partner Sin Cara got pinned… got hit with the Sister Abigail – BLAOW!!! (If they have lost a match then please forgive my ignorance – I don’t watch Main Event or Smackdown all the time… does Saturday Morning Slam still come on???)

Shout out to the dude in the background that holds the sign saying – JTG!!!

Seeing Jey Uso in action against Billy Gunn reminds me of Naomi…. damn you Aksana for taking out her eye like that… I know Naomi fine and all that but that doesn’t give you the excuse to have an imaginary d!ck and cum in her eye!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

This might mean that AJ Lee may not have to defend her title til WrestleMania… I bet AJ Lee is clocking up the days of her reign now! She is getting closer to that 434 that her boyfriend who the IWC calls ‘God’ achieved!

I’m glad that Ladies Favourite Randall TEEF Orton can point to the WrestleMania sign in confidence. It’s as good as set in stone that Randall and Batista a.k.a. Triple’s bredrin’s are headlining the milestone event… if Danny is not in that match as a triple threat…I suggest that WWE does NOT put the title match last…. TRUST ME. It’s Best For Bus… actually NO – It’s Best For THE FANS!

Well we do know one thing – the Randall Vs Sheamus match has a hard act to follow after that Cena vs Cesaro match! Why have I got a feeling that this match may end in chaos???

Random thought – the inevitable match between Randall & Batista at WrestleMania… what if Ric Flair becomes special guest referee??? That’s living proof that it’s #BestForBredrins!

Lawwd – Sheamus back gotta be brukk up now – back drop by Randall through the announce table – BLAOW!!!

Good to see that the crowd is still in it! Just that I heard a few more CM Punk chants… I’m so glad I’m an Undertaker fan – life would be miserable right now otherwise!

Hold up – I don’t get it – what injustice did Sheamus do make the Shield come out and attack? Now Cesaro and Cena are up in there! LAWWWD – The Wyatt man come out!!! Trust me – it’s Ruckus! It’s the Elimination Chamber! It’s Trillmatic!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1081: February 10, 2014

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

As this blog was written on the 11th anniversary of his passing, this blog goes out to the man call Curt Hennig a.k.a. Mr Perfect (Live On Live Long…)

Big ups to Mike Knoxxx and BDSIR Network Perfect Plex Radio – they put me on to a wrestling themed hip hop mixtape… they played some tune on their show and I was like YOOO!! I NEEDS THAT!!! And if you are a hip hop/wrestling head, YOU NEEDS THIS TOO!!! Fred Knuxx! RapMania!

http://www.datpiff.com/Fred-Knuxx-Rapmania-mixtape.319314.html

Yo WWE! ever thought of doing an Aggression II hip hop album??? Matter of fact don’t bother, if it’s anything like that wack sh!t you play on your PPVs, I gotta steel chair back here ready to clap in your head!

Y’all asked for CM Punk, you get Betty White from the Golden Girls! NOW SHUDDUP! Before Mark Henry inducts your punk @$$ (Pun intended) into the HALL OF PAIN and says – THAT’S WHAT I DO!!! RAW #1081, HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZYeah let’s get this sh!t started! Betty White in the hiz-house! IWC – SHUT THE F**K UP… Gotta say Betty White came at the right time, she knew what happened to Mae Young (God Bless Her Soul) back in the attitude era and the Dudleys! Betty says she’s gonna kick some @$$! UH OH I think she means that sh!t!!

Look at the Authoritaaah killing teet at Big Show! haha!!! Big Show looking at Triple like ‘I ain’t forgotten muthaf***a!’ And as for Stephanie… Valentines draws near… come here girl I got something for ya…

Good to see that this crowd ain’t chanting CM Fool’s name!!!! YEAH I SAID IT! I respect the guy, tired of hearing about him. GET OVER IT. He would have left in July anyway!

Randall don’t give me joke!!!! Kissing Stephanie’s @$$ – I don’t blame ya!!! Daniel Bryan just put you on BLAST!!! Him talk about – Randall planting one on Stephanie’s lips!!! But come on guys… wouldn’t you???

Randall & StephanieI warn you readers from now – I WILL GO PROFANE on this blog this week! (What else is new Grant???) haha good point!

OK 6-Man Tag Team jump off! Rey Mysterio! The Rhodes Brudda, the Wyatt Man Dem! LET’S GO!

You know what’s mad about the Wyatt man dem? The more you beat them down, the more they like it! It does remind me of Mankind back in the day, I remember my boy Undertaker used to buss up his clart… but Mankind was smiling and sh!t!!! That’s f**ked up!

The commentators better watch what they ask for? Nominating each other to be in the Shield Vs Wyatt match at the Elimination Chamber??? You know Triple TEEF is listening…

INFAMOUS TWITTER AMUSEMENT:
Vince McMahon ‏@VinceMcMahon 9h

I have a date with @BettyMWhite tonight on #RAWpic.twitter.com/vs6yf14NcX

THE GRANT SAYS: …..DUTTY BWOY!!!! You wait til I tell Linda!!!

Oh lawwd – Rey Mysterio was gonna go for the 619 and ran into Sister Abigail – BLAOW!!!! Unlucky kid!

YES ROMAN!!!! You refer to Renée Young as ‘Babygirl’?!! YOU DUN KNOW!!

So that’s how it goes down in the streets? Emma-lution is gonna ride with Santino on some comedy sh!t??? Ok this is the time I should make my pudding.. then agin if Santino is fighting Fandango… that can only mean one thing… SUMMER RAE!!! I’d f**k her with her Strictly Come Dance frock on! (shout out to Susanna Reid… I never realised how fine she was until she went on that show!)

Susanna ReidI would tear her pu$$y up for breakfast! PUN INTENDED!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Ok Sheamus & Christian! It’s all about this IRISH & CANADIAN FIST!!!! DESTROY THE FAKE @$$ AMERICANS!

Hmmmm interesting… Antonio Cesaro claims that he will be the next Undisputed champion and Swagger gave Cesaro a dirty look… yo I pointed that sh!t out first Michael Cole!

The crowd chanting We The People – unless you supporting Cesaro get out of my f**!ng face…

Loving this! Cesaro dropping them bows to Sheamus and the Great White is like – COME ON MUTHAF***A BRING IT!!!

OH SNAP! My stream froze as I type this! Serves my right for watching Raw illegally! What a good thing it wasn’t the Elimination Chamber!!!

…and now my stream comes back on, who do I see? Dolph muthaf***!n battybwoy. I hope my dude Bertie brukks up his arm!!! Right – to the kitchen! Make that pudding!

Grant & LeannaOk I’m back. now back to our regular scheduled programme… who’s the next Hall Of Famer??? We gonna find out – LET’S GO!

Oh snap!!! Did I miss Batista Powerbomb Bertie’s clart through the announce table???!!! F**k you Ziggler for making me miss that sh!t!!!

BACKSIDE!!! LITA IN THE HALL OF FAME!!!!! BIG UP!!! IT WAS WORTH IT! YOU MAKE EDGE PUT IT IN!!!! YOU TURNED AGAINST MATT HARDY AND IT WAS FOR THE GREATER GOOD!

LitaLita HOF

What I wanna know is – why would the New Age Outlaws wanna spike Betty White’s drink??? What are they tryna accomplish? Answers on a postcard please – @MZATheInfamous!!!

Hmmm… The Uso brudda vs Rybaxel… do you think they will let Rybaxel win on the anniversary of Mr Perfect’s return to the essence?

What’s wrong Billy Gunn? You don’t look too well!!!

OH SNAP!!!! Curtis Axel lost!!! But it was the way it happened! The Uso brudda flew over the top rope, tagged his bredrin in mid-air!!!! F**k!n awesome!

Oh dear! I think Billy Gunn’s stomach hurts!!!! If I was the WWE locker room, I wouldn’t go in the bathroom, for about 35-45 minutes! Somebody open the window!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WWE announced their theme tune for Elimination Chamber: Nero – Doomsday. F**k that – it’s good but THIS is the STC official theme tune for Elimination Chamber! Shout out to STC’s Bossman – Jamie Maverick Shields!

Well Ambrose wanted an open challenge for his US title.. look who stepped through!!! THE DON!!! MARK HENRY! AMBROSE YUH GOOSE COOK! and Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins stirring the dutchpot like they making Saturday soup!

Oh dear! Ambrose get himself disqualified! I mean Mark Henry was fighting them off with his bad arm but then Roman Reigns with the spear – BLAOW!!!

Next thing you know the Wyatt man dem appear! Looks like a stare down on the chessboard!!!! F**k that – this is the official tune for this particular match!

WTF is Wiz Khalifa doing at WWE with his funny looking self? Foolish individual!

Shout out to Bobo Brazil!!!! Now we know that he did teach Rocky Johnson how to put Boots 2 Asses!!!!

DAYUUUUUM 6 Diva tag team jump off! Cameron and the Bella Twins! AJ, Aksana and Alicia Fox!!! GO LADIES!!!

I wanna take this time to say happy birthday to a true cougar in wrestling – LISA MARIE VARON a.k.a. Victoria/Tara!!! SHE JUST DON’T KNOW!!! She needs some young meat! I bet she can suck good cocky!!! It’s only strong ruff neck ninjas that can handle her! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!

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Victoria DOES NOT wanna meet me word up! She would feel the wrath of my anaconda literally!

OH SNAP!!! Cameron picks up the win over Aksana with her super move – Girl-Bye! You know what that is – revenge for what Aksana did to Naomi last week when she took out her eye! GWARN GIRL!

Don’t you think that russian chick reminds you of Drago’s missus in Rocky IV back in the day? She’d get it too!

Wait a minute – I thought my hero Kane wasn’t here???? OH SNAP! Daniel Bryan has snapped!!! Kicking my hero Kane all over the ring! Why have I got this feeling that this is how Daniel Bryan DOESN’T win the chamber? Yeah I said it… go on IWC get upset like you usually do, you see I don’t take this wrestling sh!t as serious as you do, I take it make joke. The minute you start getting serious about pro wrestling as a fan – YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.

…and I don’t know why you’re b!tching for – I’m sure Triple H and The Rock faced each other more times than Randall and Johnny!

INFAMOUS TWITTER AMUSEMENT:

John Cena ‏@JohnCena 10h

Ok self, body is beat to hell, everything feels like slow motion, big night tonight. Focus up, begin to move, find a way #nevergiveup

THE GRANT SAYS: I don’t know how you see it, but was that a dart thrown at your saviour CM Punk??? So many stories surrounding his ‘departure’… including Punk’s body ‘beat up’….

Haha Cena did you seriously think that Randall was gonna fall for your 5 moves of doom??? You faced each other so many times! STEP YO GAME UP! YOU ARE FIGHTING IN FRONT OF THE WRESTLEMANIA SIGN!

MEANWHILE IN CHICAGO…Punk Midas drink

Don’t think I didn’t see you IWC jabronies making a big deal about this and whose drink it was… THE GRANT SAYS, unless Mr Brooks is standing next to me and knocking that drink back and he got me to record that sh!t and put it on YouTube… then simply put you guys need to SHUT THE F**K UP!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Me garne ah mi bed, and gonna have dirty filthy dreams about Victoria… dreams of f**k!n a WWE b!tch, I’m playin.. I’m jussayin…!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

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The Jobber Blogger #90 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 6/2/14

Jobber Blogger logo2Last week’s show from Glasgow got praise and negativity at the same time. This most likely because of a good crowd, a different look and I’m sure the debut of MVP played a part also. However looking back on it, nothing very exciting happened. Just your normal run of the mill matches and no great excitement on the Card front.

The same can be said for this week’s show, though the Ratings perked in the US in comparison to last week. Though this again will probably be spiked with the debut of MVP.

I can’t quite seem to find where I stand on all of these happenings. I believe CM Punk leaving the WWE is a work, it makes sense. If it’s not a work, then he comes across as a douche really, let’s be honest. Nor do I think his “Star Power” with the most deserving of quotation marks is really anything to go crazy over in the first place. Which of course leads to Sting. Things certainly look as if this time after many years, Sting is actually going to the WWE. Then there’s more information coming out from Jeff Jarrett and Toby Keith’s plan to buy TNA and instead just decided to make their own company… perhaps. I really don’t know what to believe anymore. And if these are a work… then they’re working.

I recently watched the AJ Styles – Shoot Interview “Leaving an Impact”. Though the trailers / previews certainly edited it in a way that seems rather more shocking, in actuality it’s very tame. AJ is nothing but supportive of TNA, and has the door open. Though you can make arguments for TNA offering him a lower contract, but they did eventually offer him what he asked for, and he rejected. But AJ said he wants to work the Indies again, and what other chance will he have to do so. I expect AJ will be back in TNA some point this year. I don’t buy this isn’t in some way planned.

But hey, that’s the beauty of Wrestling, and for years and years people knew what was going to happen, and for the best part, we still do. Thanks to the Dirt Sheets and certain predictability areas, but for these topics, we just don’t know. And that’s a good thing! Impact Wrestling LogoTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 6/2/14

I guess, part of me isn’t excited watching TNA anymore. I enjoy it, sure, but I’m not getting that feeling where you witness something that makes you excited! That makes you go on YouTube and find that certain Entrance theme for that certain Star and listen to it on Repeat and have the sudden urge to buy merchandise. Not had that since AJ had his Return Match at Slammiversary last year.

Abyss vs. Eric Young – Monsters Ball

I did state that nothing was quite as exciting, but I can’t tell you how refreshing it was to start Impact without Promo’s. Without Dixie. Instead it’s EY and Abyss attacking each other in the back and the Match picks up from there. A creative and needed change to the format. Despite the fact we all know that next week, it’s all about Dixie starting the show most likely.

I am still confused on this front, Abyss didn’t seem to turn up for a long time. Then he did twice randomly. Then only when Park saw his own blood for a small amount of time. Now he’s Abyss all the time for no reason and blood isn’t involved. I don’t get it. Do I need to get it?

To be honest, yes. If you’re going to put effort into developing something, least stick to it, or make it work. Tie up the loose ends, have it make sense. Give more development. The first Monsters Ball did nothing to get Park to realise he was Abyss.

It is awesome having Abyss on Impact though, he is one of those guys you associate with TNA, his look and character is phenomenal and sorely missed.

The match though was as you would expect, rather tame when compared to others, but with enough meaty high spots to make you enjoy it! Thumbtacks made their appearance, though EY flipped over the Monster from the Second Rope and Power-Bombed him to the Canvas. Abyss punched EY whilst he was perched on the top rope which sent him flying off Through a Table set up on the floor.

The ending came when Abyss removed Janice, a Cricket Bat variation, clearly not getting the original through Customs. EY then after numerous attempts Unmasked the Monster, which led him to violently Blackhole Slam EY and take the win.

Abyss then looked at himself in a small broken bit of a mirror. I actually like the ending, though not sure where it’s going to lead. Obviously I don’t want him to lose the mask, it makes his character. But will be interesting. EY did a post match Interview backstage and said his goal was to unmask him, but has no idea what happens next.

MVP made his way to the ring, which officially marks his true Debut with TNA. I do find it funny that people always moan about TNA bringing in stars from other companies, but yet everyone is behind MVP’s character as an investor, despite the fact he’s just yet another made star from a different promotion.

I knew of MVP, watched a fair number of his matches, but he was never someone I got behind. However, he did impress me on this show. His mic skills are very good, he has a great confidence and charismatic approach whilst confronting the audience and other stars. His confidence in turn sells the angle, so it’s all good.

The flimsy story is a little… flimsy? He had a lot of money saved up, saw what Dixie had done to TNA and therefore he invested his savings to get himself in TNA to change it. No one in his position would do that. Especially considering how outspoken he used to be about going to TNA. But alas, Dixie’s recent actions, must be met with Consequences, and MVP is all about bringing about that Change.

Part of me is now a little tired of seeing this “Power Struggle” as the main and only storyline to determine TNA in over four years. Hogan and Bischoff take over, Sting as the GM, Dixie out of control, Dixie back in Control, Hogan as GM, Aces and Eights threaten Power, Dixie goes crazy takes control, MVP is now in to change that. Can’t we just do something new. All it says to me is that they’ve tried something and it didn’t work, so they try something else by blaming the one in charge at the time. I think it is clever that they’ve placed all of the bad decisions on Dixie’s head and she’s carrying that weight as a Heel. So it would be great to see TNA rise up. But I doubt it’s going to do anything or amount to anything. I really hope it does. But how many times have we hoped now?

Spud made his way to the ring to tell MVP that Dixie would like a meeting with him, and MVP then made a match between Magnus and Kurt Angle.

Curry Man danced with Christopher Daniels styled ass to the Ring (it’s a legit thing)

danielsWhat did you think the Picture would be?

After he finished Dancing, Bully Ray wheeled the Coffin out, stood in the ring, booted Curry Man in the face, delivered an impressive but scary looking Pile-Driver and threw him in the Coffin then left.

So I don’t know if I was supposed to believe Curry Man is in a match, or if he was supposed to be fighting Bully Ray, but it looked as if Curry Man danced his way to the ring purposely to be placed in a Coffin.

Though I did realise that Bully Ray and Curry Man have similarly pronounced names. Bully Man or Curry Ray, could be a good Team idea.

In a string of “walk to the rings” Austin Aries was next up, who of course received a huge reaction (because he’s awesome and TNR’s / Jobber Blogger’s two time reigning Wrestler of the Year). Aries decided to take this time to talk about Option C and how he intends to do it once more this year!

That’s when the Bromans came out and Bro’d their way down the Ramp, and I was actually pleasantly surprised by the next part, as I couldn’t piece together why they had turned up.

Zema Ion attacked Aries from behind with his X-Division Briefcase, then hit Aries over the head with it, covered him, but only got a Two-Count.

Zema looked good though, and then went on to miss his impressive looking Corkscrew from the Top Rope and Aries then dropped him with a Knee Breaker, threw him backwards over his head, Corner Drop Kicked the hell out of him and then finished him off with the Brain Buster to retain his Championship.

Awesome!

I am glad TNA lifted the “Money in the Bank” Concept, it’s a good idea. And the Feast or Fired stipulation adds extra coolness to the concept.

Trying to Write this down really shows you how much “stuff” was in this show, and not enough Wrestling. Though something that pleased my rant from last week was in the show, where Christy Hemme had a talk with Sam Shaw about his weird Shrine Room (with the same pictures multiple times I might add). Christy saw the segment, and decided it’s creepy and only wants their “relationship” to be professional. Which is kind of ironic, given that a Camera Man was stood in his secret room.

I think it would have been better if Shaw went into the Room and the Camera Man tried to get a sneak peak, leading to Shaw beating him down violently. Or if the Camera Man sent like a lighting dude with his Smart Phone to sneak into the room, and then proceeded to get beaten down violently when Shaw caught him. But whatever.

The stupid part is that Christy must have seen his Violent Drawings, threatening the Waiter, Beating up that guy backstage (who was on this show and fine). You know, and that didn’t bother her about this weird guy she liked… but the shrine put her off.

Kurt Angle vs. Magnus

The first booking from MVP, and it’s designed to get Angle out of the ring. He’s supposed to be pretty banged up and not happy currently. Though to be fair, he wants to leave TNA, so screw him.

There wasn’t really a match here, they just did a few moves, Angle caught Magnus in the Ankle Lock then EC3 turned up and attacked him.

EC3 then went to town on Angle’s knee with a Chair, and submission locks, leaving Angle to be carried out on a Stretcher.

Though apparently Angle does a run in next week or something, so the whole idea was for nothing, as it’s supposed to get Kurt out of Wrestling to heal up. Given the length EC3 went to, to sell Kurt’s injury / absence, I would have to agree him showing up again seems a little stupid.

In what was probably the best and easily the funniest part of Impact this week. Chris Sabin had set up this backstage “date” room thing where apparently he and Velvet shared their first kiss some years ago.

Velvet eventually turned up, and a little unsure why the Camera crew were filming. Sabin told her about last week was a turning point for him, and how he sees what he did wrong, and now a Veil has been lifted.

He gets down on one knee and removes a Ring Box presenting it to Velvet, asking her “Will you?”. A teary eyed Velvet opened the box to find it empty, and Sabin continued “Will you just get the hell out of my life!?”

We all knew it was coming, but it was still rather hilarious.

Though Sabin challenged Velvet to a match next week, so… that will be weird.

Bobby Roode vs. Samoa Joe – Number One Contendership – World Heavyweight Title Shot

So this marks the Second match on the card, adding in a possible two others. One which was short and just to sell a run-in from EC3. The other short, but awesome spontaneous title defence.

Earlier in the night Bobby brought a Contract for he and Magnus at Lockdown for the World Championship to Dixie, but given Joe’s recent Number One Contender win, and MVP turning up, she couldn’t commit. Instead, she made this match between he and Joe.

It is a little annoying how winning anything now, actually doesn’t mean you earn what you won. Like Gunner with his Briefcase which he keeps having to defend. And Joe with his Number One Contender Win.

I am glad Joe is back on a Rampage, though I feel he’s not quite found his “Spark” back as he once had it. Roode on the other hand is pure awesome.

Least Impact had a great Main Event, though I made little notes on what happened during the match, I would encourage all to watch it. It’s not “put a star next to it Match of the Year contender” but it was still a great match.

Joe dropped Roode with the Muscle Buster and then got a Submission Victory with his Choke Hold keeping his position as the Number One Contender.

It does bother me though that Roode is looked at as a Looser now. Dixie even said “It’s not like you won your last match!” with regard to Roode being in the Main Event. And that annoys me because he lost to Kurt Angle in a Cage Match (with a close finish), after having a Winning streak in general, and especially over Kurt Angle for Months and Months. Stupid Heel Face rules and BS.

Impact closed the show with Dixie and MVP having a Summit in the middle of the Ring. Which would perhaps have been better if we didn’t get MVP talking earlier on in the night, followed by Dixie having numerous scenes backstage talking with Spud, to then Dixie and MVP talking backstage about coming out and talking about the future of TNA, in front of the World.

They could have just done it as a Headline to the show “Still to come!” etc.

And like anything TNA usually try and build up, it did nothing. The Future of TNA, which was Dixie blabbing on about Magnus and how people should follow her to Success. Then MVP saying “You are the Problem” and that they Agree to Disagree, he is bringing the Change, and her Running TNA as she wants to, “Is Over!”.

So it’s a good thing to move it forward… but it actually told us nothing… and did nothing. A little empty for a Finish I found, something to grab on to for next week would have been a much more exciting finish.

Still, not a bad show, I hope TNA are moving in a good direction, I really hope AJ, Hardy, Sting, Jarrett actually all play a part in MVP’s Change, but who knows?

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

http://www.thesteelchair.com

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The Jobber Blogger #89 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 30/1/14

Jobber-Blogger-logo2

The Jobber Blogger

Welcome to the Jobber Blogger #89! The second proper instalment over on TheSteelChair.com and like always I ramble on endlessly about nothing!

Though perhaps nothing isn’t quite at hand here, as TNA embark on yet another (I’m sure to be awesome sell out) UK Tour, the question at hand is this: does it really matter?

I think the short answer is no. Nothing TNA does matters, Wrestling History is going to go on with them or without them, and unfortunately the WWE is always going to the power that controls the History of the Industry. Lots of rumours floating around that Sting is about to Sign a WWE Legends deal, everything from him just being involved with a WCW DVD to the Launch of the WWE Network and their WCW Content. To him being RAW’s General Manager and all kinds of stuff. Now this seems to be the most “official” word yet of Sting and WWE actually coming to terms, I would even go so far as to say that Hogan’s recent TNA departure and WWE involvement would partially be life line between Sting and the WWE also. I guess what I’m getting at, is if Sting goes to the WWE, he will be looked upon for all of his work outside of the WWE… in WCW. The WWE don’t care how many times he’s been TNA Champion, how many years he’s worked for that promotion, they won’t even blink an eye that he’s in the “Hall of Fame”. It just didn’t happen.

That’s the thing that bugs me the most, see I love TNA, that’s well documented, but if Bobby Roode went to the WWE, sure some people would know of his work, but it would never be mentioned. When Booker T went to WWE via the buyout of WCW – he was credited with his Five Time World Heavyweight Championship reign. All of the WCW guys carried their legacy, hell even ECW carried their legacy, and that was a terrible promotion.

But TNA, who had all the right faces, and all the right ingredients, they just don’t affect the WWE, Ric Flair returns with no mention of TNA (aside from his now infamous WWE 2K14 Panel with Foley) when Hogan returns, there will be no mention, when Kurt Angle inevitably returns, he will have just “Been gone” for several years. No one cares.

They’ve even said if AJ Styles were to wind up in the WWE he would be a mid-carder at best despite he carries a huge weight of Wrestling Greatness through-out the industry, to the point where Kurt Angle left the WWE purely to Wrestle Styles. It’s like everything TNA is doing, should they one day go out of business, it was all for nothing.

If they could gather the ratings and pull in higher numbers, WWE would have to pay attention. And one could think that this is the current trend in Wrestling today. Like any Wrestling fan I’m reading and trying to find out what’s going on with the Royal Rumble / Daniel Bryan / Batista and now of course CM Punk. Clearly the Daniel Bryan thing is a work, and it’s clearly working! Batista is just “one of those guys” from an era that wasn’t even that popular. I think he feels he’s a type of Stone Cold / The Rock, but nope, WWE sucked then and it sucks now. I never got on the Batista train, doesn’t appeal to me. And now the Wrestling Audience is smarter than ever, they know guys like Bryan and Punk work hard for their slot on the show, and then they lose it to some muscle bound Hollywood type who can’t Wrestle half as well purely because his name might carry some “cache”. Least he isn’t as insulting as The Rock’s “triumphant return” for those who grew up watching him to suddenly realise that he actually is terrible as a Wrestler.

Now in the same vein, I don’t look as CM Punk as anything special. I like Punk, but let’s not beat it round the bush, Punk got lucky as he was given the opportunity to “mouth off” and that’s what made his Career. Since then, he’s done very little till now. And only now is important because people don’t know if it’s legit or not, I would say it is a Work, but who knows? Even if it’s not he will go back to the WWE, no chance he’ll turn up in TNA, I’d love it if he did come to TNA, I think his look and style suits their product more so. But what would that mean to the Industry? Guess what, nothing. I bet over half of the WWE’s audience don’t even know TNA exists. And those who do, would probably tune in to see Punk, then tune right back out again. Their viewership would increase, but I don’t think it’s a wise investment. Punk would go back to the WWE, he wouldn’t be loyal to TNA, I don’t even think he likes TNA. His first stint there wasn’t very good, so I don’t think he’d be in a rush to go out. People who question if TNA could “afford” him is ridiculous, TNA are stupid with Money and they paid Hogan more than WWE offered him, and he still left. That says it all really.

TNA always struggle to capitalise on what they have, and granted they are smart enough to listen to their fans, but everything they do just ends up being subpar. I hope they do something great, but I just don’t think they will. If these rumours about Sting are true, then I would say that AJ Styles and Jeff Jarrett have officially left the company, and then if that is true, then TNA are in serious trouble.

Anyway, without this turning into a huge rant about why I like TNA, what TNA does wrong and why I don’t like the WWE, let’s just get down to the business at hand!

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 30/1/14

Yes, for the first time ever TNA Impact airs in the UK before the US. And it came straight from Glasgow Scotland, though they did label it as “LIVE!” it wasn’t. But that doesn’t really matter.

What matters is simple, TNA should just get a home over here and film it in the UK because it looks like a force to be reckoned with when they Tape over here, they pack out of the Arena’s (even on the Camera’s side) and they have crazy crowds. Of course I’m not being entirely serious.

Not to mention they did have some Audio problems through-out the broadcast, but least they didn’t Tape it and then Dub the Commentary on top of it, and I hope they don’t do that for the rest of the Taped shows, because it ruined it for me last year.

Magnus kicked off the show and was met with a sea of “Boo’s!” which I was a little surprised by. Though as he did point out, it is Scotland. I would imagine he would be cheered when they get to the UK Shows.

What made me laugh in a type of “ironic” way, is that Magnus and Dixie Carter represent what the Internet have always said TNA should do. As he put it “thinning of the heard / putting the old stars out to pasture to make room for the new”. And yet this was met in a negative light. Though for years everyone’s said that TNA’s downfall is all of these old guys that they bring in for hopes of a Ratings boost, and now look. Hogan and Bischoff have gone, Sting has gone, Nash has gone, Steiner’s gone, Bookers gone, Foley’s gone. Who is left? Angle is going to leave, and I can’t wait to slam the door behind him. You could make a case for Bully and Hardy, but Bully has had his best years in Wrestling in TNA, he isn’t the same guy he used to be, and thank him for being Loyal to them. Same can be said for Hardy, he’s had the best two years of his Career in TNA and he’s in a much better place in his life than he’s ever been before.

So the people get what they want, but they aren’t happy.

Such is life – C’est la vie, Monge tu and Duck a l’orange

EC3 stepped up to get in the face of Magnus when he claimed to “single handily” rid TNA of Styles, Hardy and Sting. The first of a few confrontations between the two. Angle and Joe however crashed the segment and despite Dixie Carter not giving her blessing – it all boiled down to a match – Magnus and EC3 (who Magnus handpicked I might add) vs. Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe – Contracts vs. Number One Contender Shot

I think Spud said it all really

Spud swears

 Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa vs. Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne

Even writing that I wrote Gail Kim and Madison Rayne, subconsciously I combined those two together more so than Velvet and Rayne. Not having the Beautiful People in TNA is a sacrilege. Of course having them in TNA without Angelina Love is a far worse crime. Also nice job on the Video Edits of Velvet and Rayne together (without Angelina).

Madison Rayne suits spoiled little jealous Blonde Girl so much more than she does her current role, just as The Beautiful People suit Heels far better than a Face faction.

Though how could anyone be angry at someone who had a hand in accidently hitting Earl Hebner in the face. Velvet hit her (bad) Bulldog on Gail for a two-count but when Gail kicked out she raised her hand and hit Earl in the fact,… that’s a lol moment.

Gail hits Earl

Madison hit a spear on Gail out of no-where, Velvet finished Gail off with “In Yo Face!” and took the win. Before I go on about how short this match was, I just had a brilliant thought. I Hope and Pray that X-Pac – Sean Waltman wrestlers somewhere in the indies, and does his X-Factor, for someone in the crowd to tell him off for stealing Velvet’s move! If there is a God in Heaven! Please! Let this happen and be on Video! Some child telling him off for stealing a Woman’s move would just be hilarious and the icing on the cake for his so-so career.So yeah, once again the team of the best Female Wrestle in the world, and her huge gigantic powerful scary body guard, were defeated by Wrestlers who can’t Wrestle and let’s face it, Velvet can’t even run the ropes right after all these years. I love them all dearly, but at times it’s just a little too “fake” to be believed.

velvel

Chris Sabin heads to the ring afterward to do the great “Bad Guy” move… but also had me laughing like crazy of “Say you’re sorry now, and we’ll go in the back and you can give me a massage”. Just like the short lived run of Joey Ryan who had the best line when he chose to introduce Matt Morgan rather than Hemme when he told her to go make him a sandwich. Needless to say, Velvet told him that they are over and left.

James Storm and Gunner vs. Bad Influence – Gunners World Title Briefcase on the line

James Storm had the worst segment on the show, though it was made slightly better by some guy in the front row making Animal Noises. He could have been cheering but I haven’t heard anything like that before. Storm called out Gunner to “put an end to this”.

And then we were subjected to this horrible segment where they made Bro-Love with doing things for their families and blah blah blah, and when Gunner was in the Marines, and blah blah blah, and then Scotland fans started chanting USA. And what the hell was happening?

I’m sick and tired of the whole “I did this for my Family!” speech, can’t you just do it for yourself. Am I supposed to think that you’re struggling to pay your pills and put food on your plate. I manage it by working 12 hours a week in a Cinema, I’m fairly sure you’re getting paid a hell of a lot more than me. If you can’t make that work then perhaps you should consider changing your life style. And not buy the most expensive Cheese and 1837 Bottle of Wine for your evening of “fine dining”.

What happened to them just chasing a Career in Wrestling, you want to be a Wrestler, you want to be the best guy, awesome, go out there, win the World Championship and do it for your own damn Career and legacy. I don’t want to watch sad back stories in my Wrestling show about how you can’t buy your children 3 games consoles and then afford to send them to the best School in the country and buy them a Porsche for their Graduation present.

I feel this is going to be a good Ranting episode, just wait till I get to Kurt Angle!

Thankfully Bad Influence got involved and so I bring back the long forgotten but most fabled element of my Blog:

kaz word 7 new

I’m now hoping Storm renames his character – The Monkey Fart James Storm and together with Gunner their Tag-Team name can be – Beard with no Brains. I’m game.So this of course ended in a match – with Gunner once again putting his Briefcase on the line. Funny because when he first decided to do it, Dixie had a issue with it, but then agreed as a way to make him pay for interrupting her. Since then Gunner has been defending it left right and centre.

The idea is that Bad Influence told Gunner he can’t trust James Storm, and much to everyone’s dismay, Storm didn’t do anything untrustworthy.

Gunner was impressive as always and worked with Storm to win – with a top rope Head-butt none the less. Then Storm and Gunner celebrated their victory and left for some more Bro-Loving…. beard style.

Earlier on in the night Kurt and Joe singled out Bobby Roode and threatened him so he wouldn’t get involved in their match with their contracts on the line. This led to Roode giving Dixie Carter an ultimatum. Roode only helped get rid of AJ and Sting for a Title Shot, and Roode demanded it be at Lockdown, and until that is agreed, he won’t be doing anything to help Dixie or Magnus further. Makes sense.

Spud was sent on an errand to find out who this “Investor” is, and do that he called out the Wolves.

Again, Spud stole the show, he got in their faces screaming and claimed to have seen a good bit of American television and tried to interrogate them with his torch. Till he just slapped Davey Richards I believe, and then was dropped by the Wolves and a double team move.

The Wolves had pretty good music, and I do look forward to them being used in the ring (which is coming up soon I believe).

 

 

Abyss and Eric Young vs. The Bromans (w/DJ Zema Ion) – World Tag-Team Championships

I am confused now.

I think there is a piece of this story missing. Park was still Park, even in Monsters Ball, and after Monsters Ball, then last week he showed up as Abyss… there was no “connection”. So is he now just Abyss and Park is no more. Or are we going to find out they are two different people. And why the hell did they stop trying to make sense of it all with Bully Ray.

I also don’t get why they got a Tag-Team Title Match. And I still think EY should go for a Mad Scientist look.

The match looked as if EY was in control of Abyss, till then Abyss just had enough and cleaned house including taking out some British Referee who had his 15 Mins of fame I’m sure.

Abyss then Choke Slammed EY and went crazy. Leading to next week’s Abyss vs. EY – Monsters Ball match, which is supposed to be the final part in EY’s plan.

I don’t really know what I want to happen anymore, probably just get Abyss back, though one would question why someone would chose to do that. And they’ve opened up a lot of good “horror movie” type stories, but then just walked away from them. So as always, they probably won’t capitalise on their potential.

Christy Hemme and Samuel Shaw had another segment, where they were at his house. I’m sure that wasn’t his house, because it looked terrible. Maybe they do get paid really badly and so I should apologise to Gunner. Either way, speaking of things being stupid, Shaw had his hand in the Candle which he didn’t realise. That’s a character trait. And it’s going to come in handy when he fights… flame man?

Still, Shaw then went to his room with a piece of Christy’s hair and put it on this Mannequin Doll he has of her in his Shrine Room.

Do you think somebody ought to tell him she posed for Playboy?

I like segments like these, but it’s where Wrestling crosses over into Television and it doesn’t work. It’s supposed to be as if the Camera men are following these two on their time off. That’s fine, but then why would a Camera man be in his secret closet. It makes no sense. Clearly Christy is capable of watching the show and therefore would have seen all of this anyway. It’s not TV, it’s Reality Entertainment. It’s a strange mix, that just makes you not buy into things, and then it makes even less sense. Like having a Motorcycle Gang without Bikes whose slogan is about Walking… WHAT!!?

 

 

 

 

Bully Ray makes his way to the ring pushing out a Coffin, then went on to talk about all the things he “used to be” and that Anderson took them all from him. The coffin symbolises the burial of The Aces and Eights and everything Bully stood for, so it is fitting that this culminates in a Casket Match. Or “Coffin Match”. Not to be mistaken for the “Coughing Match” which is entirely different.

Anderson and Bully got into another fight, but I am glad to see this type of Match. Sure it’s a silly gimmick match, and part of me wonders if Bully could actually fit in the Coffin he had with him, smart game plan really.

I do wonder where they both go from here, but I look forward to watch it unfold.

Magnus and Ethan Carter the third vs. Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe – Contracts vs. Number One Contendership

Basically, if Angle or Joe lost, they leave TNA. And if Angle or Joe pin either Magnus or EC3 they get a World Championship shot.

The investor added the stipulation that if anyone interferes in the match they will be fired. I still need to buy those shares, buying shares sounds great. I could buy a share in TNA and start demanding things.

Earlier in the night Magnus spoke to EC3 about how he doesn’t like him, and that he has to Team with EC3 and should he lose he must defend his title. Which is sort of silly, as Magnus agreed to the stipulation and also chose EC3 to be his partner.

That aside, I actually love that Magnus is a fighting champion. Sure he has a lot of help, but he’s not running from fights, he’s demanding them. He also isn’t afraid to show that he’s happy to be the face of TNA, but that doesn’t mean he likes who he’s aligned with, but he will do whatever he has to, to further his Career… I respect that. Screw this for my family crap.

The good news is that Samoa Joe made Magnus tap-out. That’s good because I always wish Joe was more old school. He was intimidating to watch when he first showed up in TNA, it was shortly after I finished up with my “Wrestling Training” attempt and I remember thinking “screw getting in the ring with this guy”. Joe was a force, and I felt sorry for his opponents. It wasn’t till I saw him in a Q&A I attended a year later where he seemed like a great guy outside of the ring. The last few years or so, Joe has been a shell of his former self, so I’m glad to see him be the one to get the Title Shot, though I do think Joe will be fired shortly after ala AJ Styles. But if Joe came back full force, undefeated, quick matches, impactful moves and unstoppable, I’m on board for that journey.

The highlight would be Dixie leading Spud to the ring holding hands and Spud keeled over from his attack earlier on in the night. What is more interesting is that Joe stated he and Angle will be staying in TNA for a long, long, time.

Now Angle has always said he would go back to the WWE, but of late he’s been saying “I can’t lie to myself any longer, I want to go back”. Well good riddance. I like Kurt, but if he doesn’t want to stay with TNA, to help build TNA, then leave. His pay check can go toward getting new talent or better invested in something to build the product.

What is more ridiculous is that Kurt now wants to be in the TNA Hall of Fame, asking Dixie to roll out her Chequebook and induct him, and invite the new investor.

So let’s get this straight, Kurt Angle, who has had a great run in TNA, gets arrested for DUI… again, and leaves for rehab. Upon returning he has beef with Bobby Roode who says Angle isn’t Hall of Fame material…. then Angle rejects the Hall of Fame.. proving Roode to be right… but still has a problem with Roode… despite he was right, and Angle showed it.

Angle then says he needs to cement his position within TNA once more, and win the World Championship once more, which to me, says “hey, I screwed up, I made a mistake, I went to rehab, but I’m back to be the best!”. So Angle injures himself and loses countless matches, then barely wins a Cage match against Roode by “falling” and then Joe wins the Tag-Match and gets a World Title Match.. and it’s then that Angle feels he has proven himself to be Hall of Fame Worthy?

Are you kidding me.

Angle hall of fame standards

That was Kurt’s Road to Glory and Journey to the Immortals. He’s happy with a losing streak, a close victory and a win by his Partner. That’s enough for him to want to be in the Hall of Fame? I still don’t get how he beating Roode by falling faster than Roode crawled is “winning the war” after Roode beat him three times in singles competition alone. I would revoke the Offer and tell him to get lost. Speaking of Revoking the offer, Dixie had a fit and shouted for this Investor to turn up. And he did, being MVP. Surprising everyone.  Well least he tried, but everyone was expecting it. And much to my dismay, I actually rather enjoyed it, and I look forward to seeing what happens next week.

Least TNA have learnt from that horrible “August 1 Warning” flop in their face.

So a good show, even if I had a good rant!

I’m sure Storm will turn on Gunner, and I hope to see MVP and the Wolves next week and look forward to more twists and turns in the road.

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

www.thesteelchair.com

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

 

www.striketapandgrapple.com

www.cageamateursuk.com