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The Jobber Blogger #82 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – FINAL RESOLUTION – 19/12/13

December 24, 2013 by DiVineDiablo

 Jobber Blogger Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! No, don’t be silly, I wouldn’t ever take the time out of my Christmas to sit at my computer and Write about Wrestling for hours. But I will do it on Christmas Eve!

So the principle is still the same.

We are nearing the end of 2013 and that means the “Best Of’s” are right around the Corner, I have been putting Pen to Paper and Eyes to Screens and Paper to Eyes and I drew on my Computer a little bit, all to figure out this Year’s edition of the Best of 2013. Unlike last year I will be doing “Nominees” instead of just picking and choosing, but alas, that isn’t this, and this isn’t that, and so let’s get ready to break down Final Resolution!

TNA Final Resolution


Though on the surface it seems like this was a little “thin” on the Match front, but then I guess that does make sense given the fact it’s a TV Special and still only slotted into One and a Half Hours of Television. But on the flip side, it does mean it’s One and a Half Hours of Great Television. Though I watched it on my Computer.. through an HDMI onto my TV… so what does that count as? TV / Web / Stream?

Magnus kicked off the night with a nifty little “is Dixie and Jeff here yet?” backstage paranoia, then he just went to the ring to give them both something to “react” to.

See, I like Magnus, I always have, he’s full of potential, and I would have liked to see him carry the Television Championship (back when it was defended on TV) for a little while. In fact the TV Title is a great concept if they keep up with it. Still, that’s an argument for another day, (I also don’t miss it) but something about this Speech Magnus gave did “rub me the wrong way”

rubbed wrong way

Magnus went on to talk about how he “Loved this Business” but then he said something that stuck a little, “I can’t change where I’m from”. Now I don’t know how much of this was Written, it’s probably just to try and get the U.S fans on his side as a fabled “America is awesome!” and people eat it up despite its many, many, many flaws they seem to be utterly oblivious to. I’m sure Magnus is proud to be from England, but here’s the other side of that coin, TNA have since issued (spoilers) a Press Release about how Magnus is the first British World Heavyweight Champion (of this magnitude) in 108 years. So why would they write his speech as if he wanted to change where he was from?

Magnus Resent

Still, Magnus’ main problem… also on a side note, anyone actually stop and think that his name used to be Brutus, I just remembered that. That’s a “lol” moment and hopefully a future Bad Influence interaction.

So yeah, Magnus wanted to blab on about Jeff Hardy going to see Dixie at the end of last week’s show in her “VIP” banquet. He threw out phrases like “proud to work in America” “always been about Pride, Dignity, Respect” but can the same be said about Jeff?

Anyway, of course Jeff then hit the ring to set Magnus straight, which is funny because mere minutes ago he hadn’t arrived, but then he was there just in time to hear what Magnus had to say. Ahh, the fun of little gripes. Like a Perfect Meal with One Tiny Flaw you can Pick at all night…. (anyone?)

Anyway, the rest of the segment goes as you would imagine, Jeff being all defensive, to the point that the crowd were against him. Magnus brought up the 10/10/10 Immortal Heel Turn, and in the end Jeff just said “Worry about your own life, don’t worry about mine” and left.

This whole “Is Jeff in cahoots with Dixie?” angel plagued the entire show, and whilst I appreciate the effort of trying to cloud people’s minds and turn the tables so to speak on the “Good Guy”, it also opens up many plot holes. But I will get  back to that rant later!

Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode – 2 out of 3 Falls

I shall let you in on a little secret, I actually sat watching this match thinking to myself “I like it when I’m surprised, but clearly, there’s no way Roode is winning this”.

And of course much to my surprise Roode actually picked up the first fall rather quickly, (rather quickly being a good phrase to describe this match also). After a timely “kick to the groin” Roode got the first fall under his belt in no time. Which obviously doesn’t mean much, it just goes to show the normal “formula” of the Heel on top and the Face fighting back.

What bugged me the more though was that only a short amount of time later, Angle pinned Roode with an Angle Slam. It came from a chain of moves, but it wasn’t anything special. Nor did he really “beat down” Roode to the point that he would be beat. So this whole idea of Angle can’t beat Roode was then changed when Angle beat Roode easily with doing very little. I would get it if Roode took a lot of punishment, or eventually tapped to the Ankle-Lock after gut-wrenching agony. But no, he just “lost” easily.

The highlight of the match would probably come with Angle using the “Cross-Face” on Roode, which Roode managed to counter, which was then Reversed into the Angle-Slam but Roode kicked out. Which would have been better if he had lost the second fall after a series of moves like that, gruelling effort and all.

The finish came with Roode rolling through from the Ankle-Lock, trapping Kurt in a Pin and held the Ropes to get the 3-Count.

So yeah, I really wanted Roode to win, I love Roode, he’s awesome. Angle is obviously good too, but this match (though good) did feel a little fast paced for my liking, rather than a more “PPV Quality” bout. But having Roode picking up the win does correct that.

We later had a backstage segment with Kurt talking about how Roode has had his number every step of the way and that Angle has never faced this before in his career and he will have to “think what my next move is” regarding where he goes from now in his Career.

Also the use of the Cross-Face still kind of bugs me, it just reeks of Benoit, and that’s a horrible stink. Match that against Kurt and it reeks of the feuds they both had years ago, and that’s a horrible thing too. I get that Roode is Canadian and it’s a good hold, but I still don’t like it.

Seeing as I did a good ol bit of “plugging” last week for Brian Altano’s Misanthrope album, I think it’s time I actually remember to promote TNA’s new line of Deluxe Impact Series x11 – Figures. Featuring Austin Aries, Velvet Sky, Jeff Hardy and Commander Riker from Star-Trek the Next Generation:

Deluxe Impact 11

Eric Young heads to the ring to continue his “experiment” in finding Abyss inside Joseph Park. Which also hit me that I myself have just come to a rather unexpected conclusion!

Park Penn

To take it one step further!

Penn and Teller

To help along this experiment, EY has secured Park a match against Bad Influence next week in a “Monsters Ball”. And to help Park prepare, EY gave him some early Christmas Presents, a Steel Chair, a Bag of Thumbtacks and some Barbed Wire. And to top it all off, Janice, which was hidden under the ring, which is when Park decided to agree to the Match.

I can’t decide if they will just let Park find “Abyss” or if “Abyss” will turn up, one of the two will happen. I think it’s more likely he will find Abyss, but it’s nice to see this moving along now. Not to mention next week’s match should be pretty good!

Feast or Fired

They kept mentioning that “Smith and Stone Lawfirm” were in charge of handling this matter, but I would have thought they could have someone a little more.. you know, better qualified?

Smith and Stone

The fact James Storm accompanied Gunner into the room shows you that something is going down between the two. He was stood at the back of Gunner’s Chair like a Lover tagging along to a Doctor’s Appointment. Made it worse when Hernandez didn’t turn up to help give Chavo much needed Support.

Apparently Smith and Stone decided how to open the Briefcases also, and it wasn’t 1,2,3,4 like any normal person would think is fair.

Still, the segment had “Dramatic Music / Camera Cuts” and shoddy written all over it. Zema picked up an X-Division title Shot, which is fine given how the rest of the Cases played out, though it’s a tad on the nose.

Gunner got the World Heavyweight Championship shot which he then declared “Finally get what I deserve!” leaving a close up shot of James Storm looking on annoyed.

Then Sting turns up and has a big rant about Entitlement and Legacy, and that someone like EC3 who was “given the job because he is a relation to Dixie” has an equal chance of keeping his job as Chavo does “who has worked his entire life for his profession”. Sting offered EC3 the chance to give Sting the briefcase, and he will accept its fate, on the condition he Wrestles him just once. EC3 kept the case and won a World Tag-Title Match, and Chavo got fired. So it’s good news all round really.

The bit that bugged me was Sting asking if Chavo ever got handed anything in his Career, and he said because he is a Guerrero he had to work twice as hard. Which makes no sense at all.

Everyone knows he’s been Riding Eddie’s coat-tails for the majority of his career, the fact his second name is Guerrero is the only reason he’s got a job, lord knows it’s not because he’s a “great Wrestler”. Hell, even the Guerrero name didn’t carry him to great heights, for they re-branded him as freakin’ Kerwin White and he sucked even more.

That’s like saying Lacey Von Erich was in TNA because she was a fantastic Talent, she couldn’t Wrestle for sh*t, she only had the job because of her second name.

Entitlement my arse!

The only down side is I have a bad feeling Chavo will be back. But till then, let’s sit back and enjoy the possibilities.

Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa vs. ODB and Madison Rayne

Okay so part of the match ODB and Lei’D Tapa actually got to have a bit of a fight, something I’ve been ranting and raving about for ages now. And guess what, I hadn’t even realised it was going on and completely blanked straight through it. So that’s a good sign of things to come.

See that’s the thing, Lei’D Tapa isn’t being built up as this “Force” that she is. Her first match wasn’t even really played on as her first match, nor did she really come across as “impressive”. ODB and Tapa should have had this great Stand Off in the match where it actually felt it was “proving ground” for Tapa, yet they just carried on like a normal Match and therefore this “Spark” of unexplored territory became explored so quickly that I slept through it.

Madison seems to be in great shape though, and I’m glad she’s back. It’s nice that they are building on the fact that Madison and Gail used to be friends, but isn’t everyone in the Wrestling Business? Anyway, Gail set up Madison for Eat Defeat, but it was countered into a Back-Slide and Madison won. So I guess that’s the end of the Open Challenge, and it kind of sucked.

But I am glad Madison is back, though I doubt she will win the Championship.

Jeff Hardy vs. Magnus – New World Heavyweight Championship – Dixie Land Match

Okay, so before the match got underway, Jeff cut a promo telling everyone about what happened with Dixie. This after Samoa Joe went to see him for a sit down chat, and Sting went to see him but in a much nicer way. So Jeff mentioned 10/10/10 and that he made a bad decision, and everyone saw how that ended up at Victory Road. Dixie though offered Jeff a good bit of Money to be “Her Champion” but he knew that meant she would “Own” him, and as he put it “No-Body Owns Me!” and that he told Dixie to “Stick it!”. He then said he wants to Win the World Championship and be like AJ Styles and do it for the “People”.

So before we carry on, what is wrong with all of this? For starters, why the hell did Jeff go and see Dixie? Yes, I get it from an Audience swerve perspective, and Wrestling fans are so stupid that it’s amazing it worked (and believe me it worked… I talked to someone first hand who bought into it… it’s scary!)

But here is my problem, as someone who is a little more picky, at least in terms of Wrestling Storylines, you need to give me some reason why Jeff went to see her. Because if Jeff didn’t realise that Dixie was going to offer him money to do her bidding, then he’s an idiot… so I have no respect for that. Jeff told her to “Stick It”.. I doubt that, and again, what the hell was he expecting… so he’s an idiot. Now if Jeff’s other avenues, like Music and Art, which gets pumped through Dixie was mentioned and Jeff was “blackmailed” of sorts into meeting with her, then I understand. Any type of reason to get Jeff there that gives him credit rather than being an idiot is what I’m looking for. So I hope this isn’t the end of this “thing” and that Jeff actually has been placed between a Rock and a Hard Place, and his rebellious nation against the “Boss” is what leads to him “Leaving” TNA, then I am all for it. So that’s what I hope for.

Anywho, let’s carry on, Dixie headed to the ring to confront Jeff and his little speech. Dixie declared he has one thing in common with AJ, and that is that Dixie “made him”, his music, and art, and merchandise, and giving him the opportunities and second chances, he owes all of it to her. Which is true. And if Jeff doesn’t do as she wants, he will find himself out of a Job like AJ Styles. So hopefully this develops and evolves and runs deeper than he just went for a Meal “because he’s oblivious and an idiot”.

Anyway, the Match was fantastic, everything I wanted from it. Both Jeff and Magnus missed top rope moves, which led to EC3 coming out to stand with Dixie. Keeping up the theory that Jeff is an idiot the rules quite clearly state “You Need To Climb Over The Top of The Cage!” but he decided to try and fit through the Camera Hole

Jeff Hole

Probably the highlight of the Match was Jeff hitting a Perfect “Whisper in the Wind” from the Top of the Cage all the way down onto Magnus.

Magnus had nearly escaped the Cage when EC3 got involved to hold Magnus back, but Jeff resenting the help from Dixie took out EC3. Hardy then hit the Twist-of-Fate on Magnus on the Ramp, before making his way to the Ladder on the Stage. Hardy threw his Shirt at Dixie and then climbed the Ladder, and that’s when Rockstar Spud pushed the Ladder over and Hardy literally went Head-First and crash landed on the Ramp, which looked horrible. So okay, he didn’t go through tables like I predicted last week… he skipped on the possibilities of a softer landing, and decided to go head first on a Ramp, which was a horrible landing.

And of course that’s when Spud, EC3 and Dixie all rooted for Magnus, and he took the offer, climbed the Ladder got the Belt and sold out!

So everything happened as expected, but it was an awesome match and a great ending… I really hope Jeff is okay, coz that fall looked really painful.

Next week, Magnus as new Champ and Monsters Ball!


Have a Great Christmas Everyone!…… Linda!

Jeff Shark

Till Then,

Dan Wilkinson

TNR Cover 12

Monday Night Raw #1074: December 23, 2013!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

First and foremost: SHUDDUP!!!!

Second: SHUDDUP!!!!

Third and the most important: GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

All you miserable Wrestling fan muthaf***az, getting yourself that Anti-Cena shirt for Christmas, not knowing that you are actually giving your money to the man you hate! It just means more condoms for him and Nikki Bella! Yes I am the Infamous Grinchformer to you, and I am looking forward to this Christmas edition of Raw… it is bound to give me jokes! But I will go Grinch mode if they come off too cheesy! I know it’s for the kids, but I don’t want wrestling muthaf***az singing carols like they did last year… or was it the year before…? Enough of that sh!t…

You’re a foul one…Mr Grinch… HA! HA! RAW #1074!! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!


WTF???? My hero Kane giving out holiday cheer???? Ah wha de rarse!!!! Christmas Candy for the kids???? This is gonna be great!!!

Look at the evil one! Even he’s smiling! Ladies Favourite Randall Keith Orton! The Face of the WWE baby!!! WROOOOOOOOY!!!! With his two belts!!! And he wishes everybody a Merry Christmas!!!! Tiz the seazon to be jolly! He’s in a giving mood! 4 years ago he kicked them in their head and kissed up Stephanie, now he gives himself to the authority, and they give him the night off??? Hey – you guys ‘hate’ him, you think he’s boring, therefore he did you a favor! (But he must defend his -) STOP YOUR NOISE!!!

12 Diva Jingle Bells match???? OH YEAAAAAAH!!!!! I wished this was on later though…


WTF is Vickie doing in this match???? Apart from that – this is the greatest match tonight!!!!

Shout out to STC’s Matt Blick – he just had to put a downer on the match because Eva Marie has ring time – It’s Christmas!!!! Stop being miserable! If Eva Marie appeared at your house wearing that Santa outfit you’ll soon see how quick you feel awkward in your jeans!

That was great!!!! The Total Divas combined their force running around the ring hand in hand and clapping down each evil diva!!!!

Now that Curtis Axel and Huni- er I mean Sin Cara are to engage in a wrestling contest, it’s time for me to get my refreshments from the kitchen….

That JAY-BEE (JBL) he has always had a problem with men wearing masks, claiming that they are all evil! He hasn’t got over Rey Mysterio ending his career!!! You think he’s gonna come out of retirement to fight Sin Cara???




But the twist is…. it’s all about THAT SIGN!!!! It’s playing tricks on muthaf***az!!! HBShizzle hanging around, Hogan buying a ticket, Jeff Jarrett suddenly quitting TNA… now Batista is back next month… Jericho playing games on his twitter… Undertaker confirmed to be there… it’s all about THAT SIGN!!!


Ok this match should be MAAAAAAAAAD!!! literally! The Wyatt Family. Daniel Bryan. The Rhodes Brudda…Six man tag team action. HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!

LAWWWD Goldust slapping up the Wyatt man dem like a b!tch!!!! Goldust invented BIZARRE!!!

WOW – I’m telling you – if this is Goldust’s last run – he is performing better than most people on the roster! His skills are amazing in this match rude boy! This man is in his 40s surely!!!

(Confirmed – 44 years old)

Shout out to STC’s Dustin Baker… he’s getting his grinch on too?! How is this match boring??? He must be watching WWE Velocity or something!!!

Daniel Bryan just wants to f**k up Bray Wyatt!!! No one is able to do that yet! OH SNAP! Wyatt got the Sister Abigail super move to Cody Rhodes! But they’re not interested in the Rhodes Brudda, they are really f**k!n with Daniel Bryan!!! Honestly all Bryan has to do is GET IN THE CHAIR… and all this will go away!!!

Ok IWC – why aren’t you b!tching that Vincent Kennedy is giving out WWE Titles to sports stars???? They don’t have to defend that sh!t!!!

Oh no – Christmas Carols??? I dreaded this!!!! But wait!!! R-Truth and Xavier BDSIR LAYLA GRANTWoods – LOOK!!! Cameron & Naomi are riding with them!!!! WHOA!!!! I’m just waiting for Broadus Clay to come out with his stupidness!

Thank God he didn’t! And Thank God that Santino and Khali brukk up 3MB and kick em out the ring!!!

Wait a minute – Dolph Ziggler Vs Fandango in a Christmas present on a pole match? Can’t we have Summer Rae dance on that thing??? I said it before and I’ll say it again – Summer Rae needs a good f**k!!!

OH SNAP – the winner of this match gets an Intercontinental title shot on Raw next week??? BACKING FANDANGO HERE!! So that Fandango can get BRUKK UP and Big E can show Summer Rae how a ruff neck brotha can satisfy her!!!

YES!!!! The Infamous Grinchformer wins again!!! Fandango!!! GET IN!!!!!!

HAHA all you Ziggler fans!!! Eat a bowl of sprouts… and SHUDDUP!!!!

What? The Usos vs The Primetime Players??? NO!!!! These two teams should never clash! It’s a sin!!!! STOP THIS NONSENSE RIGHT NOW!!!

Oh dear!!! The crowd chanting – THIS IS AUSTIN!!! Because the Prime Time Players said ‘Houston’ by mistake! How dare they disrespect Houston Texas! Home of the Undertaker and the greatest WrestleMania ever – WrestleMania X-Seven!!! In fact where is that sign…


Shout out to STC Bossman – Jamie Maverick Shields!!! YOU ALREADY KNOW RUDE BOY!!!!

Oh no!!!! It’s Bad Santa Vs Good Santa!!! Hear Michael Cole – Come on Good Santa! Pull it Out! Pull it Out!!! HEY STEADY MICHAEL COLE!!!

Even though I’m a ‘grinch’, I gotta back Good Santa here!!! Represented by Mark Henry!!!

Representing Bad Santa and trying to cancel Christmas, Damien Sandow… I like Sandow… he gives me joke but we talking Mark Henry here!

What is a toilet doing in the ring? OH NO! Henry pushes Sandow’s head crown in the toilet!! Then he wets him up with the fire extinguisher!

Look at Sandow destroying the presents with the candy cane!!! DISRESPECT!

OH LAWWWD – Henry with the World’s Strongest Slam to Sandow – BLAOW!!!! THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!!

Oh no! Henry throws the Christmas cupcakes in Sandows face! The 2 Brukk Gyal have to be devastated… they spent all night making those things!

2-broke-girls-0aThat Kat Dennings lady (Max.. the one with the dark hair – ) front way -back way – side way – cocky between then t!tt!£$ – I’D TEAR THAT PU$$Y UP!!! Caroline can sit and watch and play twister with herself like Tweet!! Oops! Oh My!!!


Been as I’m in the festive mood… Zeb Colter just told Los Matadores to go back to where they came from… well THE GRANT SAYS I got a SIZE 12 Timberland Boot right here, shine it up real nice… keep shining it… turn that sum b!tch side ways – AND STICK IT STRAIGHT IN YOUR F**K!NG MOUTH!!!

And Colter’s ignorance cost his team again!!!! YES!! This is a great Raw by Infamous standards!!!

You think that Ryback would be a man who loves the Christmas spirit… been as that he likes to growl at his moms – Feed Me More!!! A major part of Christmas is eating that good Turkey, roast potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce… all that good sh!t!!! You would think that he would take a pic of his food and puts it on his instagram!

THIS IS THE MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING!!! CM Punk! Big E Langston! John Cena! Vs The Shield!!!! Six tag team ruckus! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

The Christmas spirit don’t change sh!t for Cena! LET’S GO CENA! CENA SUCKS!!

Damn that Roman Reigns dude man!!!! That Superman punch he got… BLODCLART!!! Oh yeah!!! To all those who suddenly think that Roman Reigns is gonna win the Royal Rumble… THE GRANT (Or should I say Skyzoo) SAYS THIS:


I like the fact that Big E Langston is mixing it up with the big dogs… it was like what… 6 months ago or so that Langston was underneath Ziggler??? Now who’s da man!!! AJ Lee – 190 days as Divas Champion… HAHA I LOVE IT!!!

Big E Langston is a beast in the ring! I don’t think the Shield are ready for this!! OH SNAP – disqualification! The Shield are gonna f**k him up!! Not if CM Punk and Cena have anything to do with it!!! JBL can say ‘Welcome to the Deep end Big E’ but in the end it was The Shield that wound up singing Kick in the Door waving the 4-4!!!

Smack Talk Centre, Powerbomb Pro Wrestling News, Wrestle Town, BDSIR Network, Cage Amateurs UK, it has been fun running joke for the 2013… but in 2014.. I’m gonna get em again!!! I know we all don’t celebrate the seazon to be jolly for different reasons, so happy holidays muthaf***az! eat, drink, and be DUTTY!!!!Diva Christmas









The Jobber Blogger #81 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 12/12/13

Jobber Blogger logo2

by DiVineDiablo

Come one, come all, and maybe a third! But that’s it. Ah yes, what seemed like a Funny idea in my head has quickly become that of a harsh reality. And my potential Three Readers… and that’s pushing my luck.

Speaking of pushing things though, I would like to take the time to Recommend this fine nifty album from a very multi talented individual, I give you – Misanthrope – by – Brian Altano.


I feel like I have done good, but seriously, for anyone who might be an IGN reader, then of course, you’ll probably already know of this. But it’s a Great Album so send your support! Also it’s COMPLETELY FREE!!! You need to Pay Money to get things worse than this! So check it out!

It’s like Christmas has come early with my over-bearing generosity, but what has also come early has… nope, my mind didn’t work quick enough to make that into a joke… but then an innuendo did appear rather vividly, so I shall leave it at that. I might pride myself on bad jokes, poor demeanour and a stink so foul it makes your computer screen cry a little, but dirty jokes are beneath me!… like a Hooker.

Impact Wrestling Logo


One year later, and 12/12/12 is firmly behind us, gone are the chances of the same day, month and date landing on each other. But the world is still here, so there is that. And also on the Wednesday it was 11/12/13, and for those idiots out there who struggle to count, god bless the year!

Impact kicked off in a type of “impactful” way, though I do love a Wrestling show to start with Wrestling once in a while. A developing story through-out the night was Spud heading to Gainesville Georgia to bring back the TNA: World Heavyweight Championship from AJ Styles. But in the ring was the “Feast or Fired” briefcases and the Wheel of Dixie set up, though Kurt Angle turned up, trashed the set and moaned about Bobby Roode eliminating him from the World Title Tournament last week. Roode then blabbed about how he should be annoyed because he slipped off the Apron and went through a table, and then they had a fight! Angle declared he could beat Roode twice in one night… if only we knew what was coming next. So yes, clumsy start to the show aside, the 2 out of 3 Falls match set for next week should be awesome. Whilst on the topic, I miss themed 2 out of 3 Fall matches, but I don’t think we’ll be getting that come Final Resolution, and with Angle vs. Roode, that’s probably a good thing.

Bad Influence vs. Eric Young and Joseph Park

With a little pep talk backstage, EY told Park that he had a plan and not to worry “I know what’s inside you”. To be honest, this thing has escalated quicker than I thought it would have, but again no bad thing seeing as it has taken over a year to actually do something. During the match Park was held down and literally being slapped around by Christopher Daniels and Kazarian, EY stepped in to help, then tried to motivate Park, but in the end resorted to punching him in the head until he bled, so Park would go into “Abyss Mode”, which of course led to the victory.

EY then actually told Park to his face “18 Months ago you came looking for your brother, but you couldn’t find him, the reason you can’t find him, is because, You Are Abyss.” So hopefully this will get more interesting again soon, personally I would have preferred it if this Story didn’t drag out quite as long as it did, and it would have been better to play less on the fact that he turned into Abyss at the sight of his own blood, and have little sections where maybe Park would become more nervous backstage. Maybe looking through his Wrestling gear, then quickly shutting his bag, and later find out that he had the Abyss mask in his possession, things like that. Where the story is currently, I don’t know how they are going to tie it all together. What happened after Abyss fought Bully Ray and Bully led him outside, and he was never seen again. Surely that could be linked to The Aces and Eights, which made sense with Joseph Park showing up and finding out things for the faction. But that obviously never progressed, and now they aren’t together anymore. So what the hell happened to Abyss, why does Joseph Park exist as a “split personality” and just what was the point? I really hope they have something planned, but I can’t help but feel that closing the door on the Aces and Eights, and quickly wrapping up this Storyline is a way for them to shut out Eric Bischoff and start a fresh. So my hopes of it actually having an “ending” are unlikely.

Ethan Carter the Third issued his latest challenge, to one Jeremy Borash. Instead of a repeat from last week, The Icon Sting stepped up and ranted about “Entitlement” and told EC3 to “Man Up” and enter the Feast or Fired match later on in the night. Either that, or to face him one on one. Sting is the perfect guy to show a reflection between the old TNA and the new “Heel Dixie” TNA, and his whole issue with Entitlement either toward EC3 or eventually Magnus, is going to come full circle very soon, I’m sure. EC3 however got in Sting’s face and claimed he accepts, and then left to go enter himself into Feast or Fired. Though apparently Sting and EC3 are on a collision course, and personally…. I don’t know if that’s a good pairing. But time will tell.

Gail Kim (w/Lei’D Tapa) vs. —

Gail’s Open Challenge continues, and this week it was ODB who stepped up (sort of). Despite the fact that Gail’s Challenge is to people outside of TNA, though ODB was out gunning for Lei’D Tapa. So their inevitable bout can’t be far away! But as always, Gail and Tapa managed to beat down ODB, which is when the second best Surprise of the Night occurred, and Madison Rayne turned up to help out ODB.

Honestly, all these people moaning and complaining about TNA letting Madison go, obviously she was going to come back. And I am more than happy that she has, Madison is awesome, though she is still doing her “Heel Wave” thing, which doesn’t really suit a “face” Madison. She’s always been better as a Heel, so will be interesting to see how well she handles herself as a Good guy, or whether she will really quickly join up with Gail once more and be a Heel.

Dixie Carter headed to the ring to hold the “Face Off” between Magnus and Hardy one week before Dixie get’s “Her World Champion”. Also I hadn’t noticed before, but Dixie’s Eye’s are 100%, exactly the same as Jeff Hardy’s Painted on Eye’s. I wasn’t even sure if she had her eyes open or closed for the segment, till she blinked, and it was like, holy crap… they are her real eyes! FREAKY REAL EYES!!

dixie eyes

Magnus did the usual crap of “I Respect you more than anyone else in this business” which obviously will eventually turn out to be “I said it, so I got further, I hate you all”. As he has said the same speech to Sting, Angle and now Hardy…. so now we know he’s lying. Hardy then did his weird screaming speech about last year at Bound For Glory he won the World Championship by Defeating Austin Aries, and this year at Bound for Glory he only “Defeated Purpose”. Which to me… sounds like he was insulting himself.

Jeff defeat purpose

Though it could also be a slogan for Kurt Angle… as he defeats himself also.

Still Dixie then announced the match type for Hardy vs. Magnus next week, and it will be “Dixie Land”. A great idea with a crap name, so I’m sure after she’s done being a Heel, that the match will probably get a new name. From what I can gather, the idea is, the Belt is hung up high on the Entrance Ramp, and the match starts with both guys in a Steel Cage. You can only escape the Cage by going over the top, running up the entrance ramp, climbing a Ladder and getting down the World Championship. I love new Match Types, and this sounds like a blast, with some horrible injury potential. But should be good… maybe that’s why they put Hardy in the finals, as he will probably gladly fall off a Ladder, off a stage, through multiple tables… I called the ending.

Austin Aries vs. Chris Sabin – X-Division Championship

This match seemingly came out of nowhere, I saw a Graphic for it to promote the show, but it wasn’t built up at all. Which is great, I love random Championship matches, even more so when they have great endings and new Champions.

Though this match doesn’t live up to their X-Division Title match earlier on in the year (also with Manik). The ending itself made it an awesome match. Also Aries has a great beard…  I think that’s relevant Wrestling commentary right there.

Velvet played a part in the match, namely Sabin grabbing a hold of her and she getting dragged in the ring, and then tried to be used as a Distraction. But in the end Aries just dropped Sabin with the Brain Buster and won the X-Division Championship.

Given that Aries’ first run with the title was the longest in company history, I would be more than happy for him to hold the best till Destination-X next year, and Win the World Championship once more. Also for those of you who are counting, yes this is the Number One Surprise from Impact this week.

Spud trying to get the World Championship Belt back from AJ Styles was a true highlight of the show, I love random “backstage” videos on my Wrestling shows. And having Spud going through-out a Redneck country was awesome. Also I would like to say now that Spud has quickly become one of my favourites on Impact, he was alright before, but he really suits this role. He harassed some guy in a Petrol Station for Directions, talked in a racist manor to a bar maid, sang God Save the Queen really badly in a Pub, and in the end broke into AJ’s house to find the belt.. then sit down, then AJ caught him and Spud ran off. Great stuff! Here’s hoping for a new World title Design, coz I’ve never been a big fan of the Current one.

Feast or Fired

Anderson was the first out to enter the match, but then Bully Ray turned up and beat him up then Pile-Drive’d him on the Stage once more, and it was a horrible landing. But what was more horrible was Bully Ray instead of being the best Heel in the industry, not to mention one of the best Promo’s guys in the industry, he sat over Anderson for about 5 minutes quoting the Bible. I am sure there is a point, but I really don’t think it suits Bully’s character. Though it could also look like a new Bully Ray coming back with a Vengeance, which is really exciting.

Samoa Joe vs. Hernandez vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Chris Sabin vs. Curry Man vs. Dewey Barnes vs. Norv Fernam vs. James Storm vs. Gunner vs. Zema Ion vs. Austin Aries vs. Ethan Carter the Third

Though there aren’t really any rules in the match, it’s simply grab a briefcase and get out, so people worked as Teams and it’s all out chaos. It was awesome.

A great concept, and I can’t wait to find out who got which Prize.

Everyone did this “Dive out of the Ring” thing, leaving only EC3 left, who toyed with the fans, then just grabbed a Briefcase and ran off, so I thought that was pretty good. Zema Ion grabbed the next case, and awesome to see him back in the Ring now that he’s back with the Bromans. Though I never cared for his Ring Attire, I like his new hair, so I hope he changes his Attire to fit also, then he’s cooking on all cylinders. Chavo Guerrero grabbed a Case with help from Hernandez, I really hope it’s not the Tag-Team one, coz that would really annoy me. And finally James Storm was well on his way to getting the last Briefcase when Gunner violently shoved Storm off the ropes and grabbed the briefcase for himself instead.

Earlier on in the night, Sabin and Aries both entered themselves into the match, given the change of hands with the X-Division Championship. Storm and Gunner also bumped heads once more, with them talking about the future of their team, plus Storm saying he could be the next World Champ, which Gunner obviously took offense at.

I hope it’s a good mix up, the whole potential of this match means it can shake things up. So Chavo having the Tag-Title shot would suck. I still think there is a chance that Storm will get the Briefcase from Gunner and end up getting fired. Who knows! But it would make sense to pad out Final Resolution before people find out which briefcase contains which prize.

After Magnus and Hardy had their Face to Face earlier in the night, Dixie invited them to her VIP banquet meal after the show, and it was Hardy who turned up, so that was awesome. Though we already know where things are probably going to end up, it’s still great to plant seeds.

Speaking of next week, Final Resolution is as follows:

Jeff Hardy vs. Magnus – New World Heavyweight Champion – Dixie Land Match

Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode – 2 out of 3 Falls

Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa vs. ODB and Madison Rayne

and the results from Feast or Fired.

Should be a great show!

Till then.

Dan Wilkinson. Cover 12

Monday Night Raw #1073: December 16, 2013!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

What is wrong with you muthaf***az? Randall becomes the Undisputed Champion, y’all b!tching, If Cena won, y’all b!tch about his 5 moves and how he won’t turn heel. If it was a screw job, y’all b!tch about how the match was spoilt. Seriously right now? I am NOT A WRESTLING FAN. The PPV was actually good, and just because sh!t didn’t go your way, like Dolph Ziggler losing to Fandango, or Daniel Bryan not the champion, you are quick to say the PPV sucks. F**k that – YOU SUCK!

I look at you all in disgust.  RAW #1073! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!


Good Gawd Almighty Stephanie you are looking f**kable tonight!!!! Triple I hope you do what’s BEST FOR BUSINESS!!!

I was hoping for a big ceremony, bringing out the entire roster to bring out the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion!

Look at Daniel Bryan and John Cena looking at Ladies Favourite Randall Keith Orton!!! They BEX like they just watched X-Factor and sh!t!!!

Come on Randall you are a fighting champion aren’t you??? Don’t you wanna face Daniel Bryan for the title??? You made me proud at the PPV, now you must maintain!!! Oh no.. I hear the IWC complaining again… you have the right to shut the f**k up! Your hero could win here!!!

“It’s hard to get into the game, but once you get on top… can you stay there???”

(Sample from Method Man – Grid Iron Rap, 1998)

The results of the tag team contest at the PPV had the fans wanting an encore with Rey Mysterio and Big Show Vs The Rhodes Brudda…so let’s get into it…

What’s with the commentators selfie photos while the wrestling contest is on? DISRESPECT!!!! I like how JBL cusses Michael Cole for not calling the match when he was doing it himself!!! Let me tell you something – Selfie photos have existed since the beginning of time… well ok not exactly the beginning but muthaf***az acting like it’s some fashion trend… selfies are not cool… that got Obama’s @$$ in trouble last week with his first lady!

OBAMA DISRESPECMan!!!! You can’t make a mistake against Big Show like Goldust did! PPPPPP!!!! Rey Mysterio splash – BLAOW!!! Took out the tag team champions!!! WHOA!

Can somebody tell me where this Bad News Barrett gimmick is going? This is wack homes! FIX UP!!!!

I gotta love the authoritaah! Telling Randall to calm his brief because he’s barling about defending his title! But Cena is right! Actually f**k Cena… Peter Parker uncle dun tell him – with great power, comes great responsibility… so STOP YOUR NOISE AND DEFEND YOUR BLODCLART TITLE!!!

Summer Rae – you fine as a muthaf***a but you beat my created female character on WWE2K14… don’t worry… I will brukk you up next time I play… and then after that… I’m gonna long d!ck you… and break your ovaries!

Now since Fandango Vs Dolph Ziggler is a rematch from the YouTube match…. so I ain’t watching this sh!t!!!!

Oh no… not the muthaf***!n Real Americans…. BURN THAT WE THE PEOPLE FLAG!!!


Gotta love it! Big E Langston man handling the Real Americans and mark Henry is there on the apron saying – THAT’S WHAT WE DO!!!!

Remind me to assign the Junkyard Dog move on Mark Henry’s move set on WWE2K14!

I love that JBL was cussing the fact that Big E stopped Cesaro dropping the giant swing on Mark Henry, but I love the fact that Big E & Mark Henry won!!! YES!!! BRUKK UP THE RACISTS!!!

Haha that Christmas Raw promo was jokes!!! Sandow as Bad Santa and my girls AJ Lee and Tamina as the evil elves!!!! Raw should be pure joke next week!

Is that how it goes down in the streets Broadus Clay? Not tagging Albert and arguing with my favourite Nubians????

Big ups to R-Truth and Xavier Woods! Take the Funkadactyls from Broadus Clay yes!!! Make them dance and drop two foot!!! But I stress that the music should be changed… now let me see…

Show me the Go Go Wine Cameron & Naomi!!!

I was wondering when CM Punk would start going after Triple Teef and the authority…. but I wasn’t expecting for HBShizzle to come out!!!

But seriously Shawn… you keep making these appearances like this on a regular you are only leading yourself into temptation of coming out of retirement… I thought you were a christian boy?

If CM Punk defeated The Shield alone, going against them again this time with The Uso brudda should be a walk in the park!!!

JBL is brilliant! Cussing Michael Cole for sticking up for John Cena and then goes on to back Randall’s plea to let him celebrate his moment as opposed to defending the title…

…and after crazy high-flying ruckus, who was it that got the win for the Shield again? ROMAN REIGNS!!! HE’S DA MAN!!! They can defeat big teams but cannot manage one man??? Makes no sense!!!

As much as I love WWE2K14… it is NOT the hottest video game out thereBDSIR LAYLA GRANTtoday… the hottest video game doesn’t come out til June 2014!!! Oh hang on the Wyatts…

Oh no they are not done with Daniel Bryan! If he won’t walk with the reapers, he will burn with the saints???? All because what, he has a beard similar to theirs??? Maybe I would GET IN THE CHAIR!!! And they might leave me alone! If I was Daniel Bryan that is… he has a sexy Bella to marry for goodness sake!

You call the Bellas and here they are! Teamed with Natalya Vs Alicia Fox, AJ Lee and Tamina…. I know who I’m backing!!! Ooooooh I’d love to get my hands on…. rather I’d love Tamina to get her hands on me!!!!

Oh lawwd when Alicia grabbed Brie’s leg and dragged her off the top rope that sh!t looked like it hurt!

If Tamina was my girlfriend what would I get her for Christmas???? I’d get her… a Wu-Tang Sword!!!

WU-TANG SWORD STYLE 2…and an advanced copy of the Wu-Tang new album ‘A Better Tomorrow!’

Good lord did you see Tamina kick down Nikki Bella like that???!!! BLAOW!!! NOSE BRUKK!!! I love my b!tch!!!


Damn Daniel Bryan straight f**k!n up Randall’s legs here!!! Take out the legs, he can’t kick him in his head… nor can he stand to drop the RKO!

On the flip side, The Evil One targets Bryan’s arm…. mashing that up will disable the YES Lock super move!

Ha! look at you fickle fans! Not wanting this match to happen again, and after superplexes, frankensteiners off the top rope, kicks to the head top, now you fools are chanting ‘THIS IS AWESOME!!!’ You’re more difficult to understand than women!!!


And after all that!!! Daniel Bryan was on the way to winning, and then the evil one punches Bryan in his d!ck!!! DISQUALIFICATION!!! TEEEEEEEEEF!!! John Cena runs down to check on his bredrin, what happened to him? RKO – BLAOW!!! Well looks like the WWE Universe – and the IWC for that matter has no choice but to kiss his @$$ like Eddie in the Golden Child!











The Jobber Blogger #80 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 5/12/13

Jobber Blogger logo2

 by DiVineDiablo

And so we hit the big 80! Yes, you can now officially read the last 80 TNA: Impact Wrestling shows and PPV’s, where I recap them with bad jokes, racist slurs and the occasional funny picture!

I do often get asked what I do, and to be fair, I don’t really know how to describe it. I hate the word “Blog”, that makes it sounds like an emotional piece about my feelings. Or it could be a “blog” about something I like, which it is, but in a way that I blab on endlessly about how my opinions are superior. I can’t stand “Reviews” who cares, sure if you’re a employed individual actually working and attending shows, and hopefully with a lick of knowledge about the thing you “review” then you might be able to garnish a minimal amount of credibility. But the chances of that happening are rather slim, at best they are known as “opinions”. And sure, this is my opinion, but it’s also utterly Worthless, if you agree, awesome, if you don’t awesome, it’s designed to Entertain! And Entertain I shall! I dread to think I would end up like some over-weight, unemployed, lonely, hairy man sat at his Computer filming himself talking about the Wrestling Show, and what happened, and his opinions on it. Do people even watch that? I find it embarrassing, I’m embarrassed for those people!

I have no line to stay either side of, I don’t even know the meaning of the word Embarrassed, I would as happily fart in a supermarket as I would be “wrong” about something.

Well, as my nifty Computer skills and keyboard shortcuts nearly deleted my opening Paragraph, I think it’s about time to get started on the Subject at hand.

Impact Wrestling Logo


Well it’s now the 10th of December, a whole 5 Days have passed since Impact aired in the US, and what have I done with my life. Regardless, it appears the last few days have been more relevant for the “internet rumours” that boil over and plague the people that read them. What makes it worse is that people moan about things happening in Wrestling, and knowing everything. Well here’s a bit of Advice… don’t read the Rumours. Though do continue to read my “Blog” because I happen to spill the truth in a eloquently, well pronounced, grammatically decadent  manor, mange-tout.

It will be great when people can over-come the pit-falls of a mouthy internet community and actually do things people don’t expect. It seems everything is about AJ Styles’ contract negotiations, what Hulk Hogan is up to, people slagging things off, Jeff Hardy leaving, Billy Corgan buying TNA.

It’s ridiculous, no-one knows what so ever what the truth behind any of it is, and aside from the fun fact of just reading fun facts, does it really matter? Did you know Stone Cold Steve Austin got the idea for his Character from Walt Disney’s original version of Mickey Mouse, which after the success of Snow White, he paid off German pirates to bury the evidence in Texas?

Mickey 316

Hell, Miley Cyrus has even been spotted hurtling across the Lockness on the back of Nessy

Miley Ness

Not to mention if you spell Rubbish backwards then speak it as it sounds and then as it is normally spelled, it sounds like death threats sung to you from Engelbert Humperdinck


It’s like they say, “Sticks and Stones may break my bones, and if you throw any I’ll Run you Over!”

Impact opened with a rather bizarre almost “Apple Mac” intro with a whole bunch of strange expressionless CG modeled Kurt Angle’s watching Jeff Hardy on a big Screen.

Impact Opening

And funny enough, Kurt Angle then made his way to the ring and spoke about how Austin Aries “gave him the fight of his life” which is rubbish, as their match wasn’t that good. Though of course Kurt Angle has been his own worst Enemy of late bettering himself in most every match.

Angle Defeated

Angle then went on to address his opponent for Tonight; Magnus. And it was the usual Heel turn BS of Angle blabbing about how close the two of them are given the Main Event Mafia connection, then Magnus blabbing about how much respect he has. If the internet doesn’t ruin the show then naff forced dialogue like this always does. Kurt also questioned Magnus leaving him last week with his knee injury, and that real champions Wrestle injured, and questioned his heart. It is quite obvious how all of this is going to play out, but hey, we knew all that anyway.

What is more interesting though is Bobby Roode getting involved, telling Magnus that doing things the right way, aren’t always the best way. So it’s an interesting thing for Roode to perhaps corrupt Magnus and he will in fact take the short Road in his inevitable World Title win.

Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy – World Title Tournament – Tables Match

I actually wasn’t expecting Roode and Jeff to go first, I had thought Roode would screw Angle out of the Tournament first, thus Roode feeling his biggest threat is out of the way, and then of course Angle getting even and costing Roode. But to have Jeff defeat Roode on his own works more for Roode being the Sore Loser.

I didn’t really make a lot of notes on this match, but looking back over the Tournament, though it has been good, it started out great with Hardy and Sabin in Full Metal Mayhem putting on a Match of the Year candidate quality Match, and then hasn’t reached close to that standard since.

If anything the worst competitor in the Series is indeed Magnus. Given all of the “He’s the future” talk, and given the length and time they have gone to push and develop him, Magnus isn’t close to even being involved in any Matches that stand out to me this year. That means he’s not going to be in any category I look at when I write my “Best Of’s” in a few weeks time. Kind of ironic really.

Both Roode and Hardy fell off the Ring Apron and through a Table at the same time, which is good, but what we didn’t need was the pointless bickering of Three Referee’s over who won, rather than just saying, “it’s too close to call – match continues”. But that’s a little gripe, the highlight would be when Jeff was attempting his Swanton Bomb to put Roode through a Table, but Roode rolled off in time, so Jeff just leapt over the table and landed on Roode in the middle of the ring.

The end came when Jeff kicked Roode and he fell of the apron through a table. Sure it was slightly more “jazzed up” then the description I gave, but I’m proud of the tone I achieved.

Ethan Carter the Third vs. Earl Hebner

Well this is the match that some Radio guys I never heard of decided to pick apart. Which then led them to slag off TNA in many ways. But whatever, they don’t watch the show, and I totally understand this not being everyone’s thing. What bugged me the most about their little rant was the fact that the only Wrestling fan amongst them was sickened to find his friend watched TNA.As TNA would give off a bad impression. I still find it hard to see why people who watch TNA think it’s utter tripe, but watch WWE. And it’s the same people that complain about how the WWE isn’t as good as it used to be, but then TNA reminds me of what WWE used to be… so I am confused. But it’s probably the same people that love to praise ECW And hey, ECW sucked.

I can’t stand ECW, I hate what it stands for, but I also am extremely happy it existed. I don’t get how people can like ECW and then complain about TNA. Because TNA is 300% the company ECW was. I like that Paul Heyman was smart enough to work a way around the low money they had, that’s creative and ingenious. I love that about ECW, and I respect that about Paul Heyman. Most importantly is that ECW had some amazing Talent, but the best thing about that amazing Talent is that they took the first offer to get out of ECW while they could. Bully, Devon, Taz, Van Dam are of course the top names. Foley, Austin, sure, but I don’t feel they fall under the same belt. ECW was a mess, where it’s only deciding difference is that their employees hit chairs over their heads, jumped in barbed wire, set themselves on fire and made themselves bleed with cheese graters and staplers.  None of that falls into Wrestling, and as the years went on, that Wrestling style evolved, and it’s far better because of it. If you have thugs, drunks, drunk thugs, idiots and untrained individuals involved with your company, then you’re not worthy of anything.ECW is like Star Wars, more negative than positive.

Though without getting into a big rant about Star Wars, let’s get back to this match.

EC3 made Brian Hebner come out to referee the match, Earl lay down, EC3 won, Rockstar spud blabbed on about things. Spud is pretty good thus far, I am impressed. I didn’t really care for this, but I don’t think you’re supposed to, the point is to make you hate EC3, more and more, and then eventually he is going to get what’s coming to him.

But to move away from ranting, let’s get to the highlight of this match, where EC3 threw his hanky at Earl and completely missed!

EC3 Throw

Bad Influence continue their quest to ruin Joseph Park’s life and uncover the mystery of it all. Which is rather odd, because I honestly expected this to not hit the level it did so quickly, let alone Park to turn up. And Park did turn up, and just asked them both to leave him alone. Park is awesome with Character work, he pulls off the crazy man, and he pulls off the nervousness of Joseph Park, and with this, he really managed to get you behind him, as Kaz and Daniels just continued to lay in the insults.

Park tore up some “evidence” they had, but of course we were treated to a lovely video of Bad Influence visiting the offices of Park, Park and Park. Where the big secret was, there were no offices, and the only trace of his so called law firm was when it closed down 13 years ago. No idea quite where this is going, but it’s taken a sort of “horror story” turn, and it’s certainly going to be interesting to see how it plays out. And then they started to beat up Joseph Park, coz it’s Wrestling. Eric Young hit the ring and challenged them to a Tag-Team match next week… which in the grand scheme of things doesn’t really solve anything.

Bromans (w/ DJ Zema Ion) vs. James Storm and Gunner

Earlier in the show Dixie Carter brought back “Feast of Fired” where James Storm, Gunner, Chavo, Norv and Dewey will all take place in choosing Brief Cases next week, 4 of them containing Championship Matches, and one of them being a Pink Slip to be Fired.

I will bet here and now, James Storm gets fired and somehow Gunner will have a hand in it. Thus taking Storm off of TV, following Hardy, AJ, maybe Sting, and even Joe, who knows? And Dixie will have this Heel TNA with Magnus at the helm before the TNA Originals and “good guys” take a stand and come back. Could be wrong.. it’s all rumours.

The Bromans are quickly becoming my favourite Team, but I have to be honest, the concept of Zema Ion being a ring-side DJ is what sealed the deal. His “When I say Bro, you say Mans’!” chant was excellent, with the crows providing nothing but dead silence.

The fact Zema continues to blare out the Horn noise during the match is great, it would only be better if he could have different sounds too to make it even more distracting, but it really makes the Bromans stand out as something completely different as a Team.

Storm was closing in on a victory as he hit the “Last Call” Superkick on Jesse, but Robbie E spat a mouthful of Beer in the face of Gunner, who then snapped attacking Robbie E and pushed the Ref out of the way to do so, getting Storm and Gunner DQ’d.

Impact also had a good selection of Backstage segments, Samuel Shaw and Christy Hemme’s date, she went to use the “restroom” and Sam played with his knife before threatening the Waiter he would kill him if he didn’t stop looking at Christy. Part of me hoped he would just draw disturbing pictures on his napkin, but alas, it wasn’t to be.

The highlight backstage though was Sting trying to get into Kurt Angle’s Locker-Room for a chat, but Rockstar Spud wouldn’t allow him to pass. This marks Spud’s and Sting’s first on screen encounter, and it worked really well.

Gail Kim (w/ Lei’D Tapa) vs. Laura Dennis

I forget what happened before the match, but we saw Gail and Robert Irvine, who I can only assume is her husband, talking about Gail’s greatness and pursuit of a worthy Challenger.

The big news is that Robert Irvine, British Celebrity chef who is 13 years older than Gail Kim and divorced must be extremely rich… if that’s not the case.. then I don’t get why else she’d be with him?

Gail Irvine

Laura Dennis looked familiar to me… I don’t know why though as I can’t find anything out about her I would have known previously. Though she normally Wrestlers under the name “Cherry Bomb” which is much better, maybe she used her real name because she uses that name on the indies and ROH etc.

Still, she seemed rather good, if she used her normal ring name and gimmick, I think she would fit in really well with the Knockouts division.

Of course Gail won though, and then her and Lei’D Tapa continued to beat her up till ODB showed up and took the fight to the both of them. I am sure they are building ODB vs. Tapa, which should be awesome when it happens!

Magnus vs. Kurt Angle – World Title Tournament – Last Man Standing Match

They are certainly pushing the whole “Angle wants World Championship to be Worthy of Hall of Fame” thing.

This was a straight forward “Wrestling” only Last Man Standing match, which was quite nice to see rather than the typical “Weapons” version. Though I do prefer those.

The story was that Magnus took a good few risks but his knee seemed to be just fine, and then of course the poor Referee got knocked down.  And what do you know, Bobby Roode turned up, dropped Kurt with his “Driver Cutter” awesome move, and then Magnus won.

Roode then attacks Kurt all the more and Jeff Hardy shows up to save the day. I am sort of fed up of Hardy always being the “go-to good guy” to help anyone out. Jeff worked really well as a Heel, I sort of miss that.

And to close the show, Dixie Carter received her World Title Belt which had requested AJ send back to her. Aside from the fact it was blatantly obvious how this segment was going to play out, they did it anyway. A little stupid given that the Belts are made from gold and weigh a ton. So get one in a tiny box she put on her lap and still didn’t realise it wasn’t inside, is a little dumb.

But alas, she got a Toy Version of the old TNA Championship. And then AJ had one of those “From the Friend’s Of” things.

I am starting to feel all of this was irrelevant and knowing how it will end seems kind of stupid.

But hey, it is after all TNA: Wrestling!

And that’s why we watch it… isn’t it?

I don’t know anymore.

Till Then!

Dan Wilkinson

TNR Cover 12


Monday Night Raw #1072: December 9, 2013!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

Ok this is how it goes down, from what I see on WWE.Com, they have shown highlights of Raw and done the Slammy Awards separate so, here I will speak on Raw, and I will do a separate post on the Slammys. How about that? And let’s waste no more time, this is the Hip Hop Reppin, Tekken @$$ whoopin, Outrageous Rantin, Diva Loving, Wrestling Fan hating Infamous Informer!

Let’s do this Ninjas and Ninjarettes! RAW #1072! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!


Big ups to Daniel Bryan whoopin that pansy Fandango’s @$$… good opening wrestling contest and… oh F**K THIS – I’m not interested in no wrestling match that has no significance!!! F**K THAT!

Quote from JBL: “Sandow claims he is the uncrowned intercontinental champion…” Wasn’t it like a few months ago when Sandow said he was the uncrowned World Champion??? Who’s the ignoramus now? Go and wash your brief!!! Yuh goose cook come Sunday at TLC against Big E Langston… saying that Sandow did pull off a wicked match against Cena earlier this year when he cashed his cheque and it bounced…

What? The Miz Vs Kofi Kingston again??? F**k this match up! Let’s talk about the newest acquisition that is joining WWE on a developmental contract… he obviously wants no part of England getting their @$$ whooped in the World Cup in Brazil next year – YEAH I SAID IT! If you feel like an enemy…COME AFTER ME! This should bring more Port Vale supporters to WWE should this dude make it…

Look at him - he's already mastered the YES! Chant!

Now here’s something I can sink my teeth into… 8 man tag team jump off – The Rhodes Brudda, Big Show & Rey Mysterio Vs The Racist Bastards and RybAxel… And I want The Big Show to punch that @$$hole Zeb Colter through school buses!

Hold on – Zeb Colter nominated for insult of the year? Anyhow BDSIR LAYLA GRANThe wins… By God I will go off…. TRUST ME. This blog may not end well…

I just realised something – it was Rey Mysterio who scored the victory for his team! What you gotta say now Colter you dirty muthaf***a? You know one day somebody gonna kick his @$$… and I hope and I pray that somebody is…. ME!

Side note – look how Rey jumped on Big Show and hugging like they father and son after that win… you would never think that this happened back in the day…


So let me get this right so I can understand this: This Sin Cara – it’s a character – a mexican folk-lore hero that luchadores can play as? It’s not necessarily gotta be one specific wrestler playing the gimmick? Hmmm interesting…

Oh no! My favourite Nubians are starting to look at Broadus Clay as if to say – ‘what’s up with you Broadus? I thought we were cool? Why you gotta beat down Xavier Woods like that?’ I don’t know either, maybe Broadus overheard Cameron & Naomi talking about Xavier’s ‘WOOD’…


Damn son the crowd are loving the contest between CM Punk & Dean Ambrose! What a shame is was too late to be nominated match of the year huh? Never mind!

TLC 2013UH-OH what’s going on here! Ambrose dashes Punk out of the ring, Rollins and Reigns are just looking pon him, what I don’t understand is – why did Ambrose shoot off his mouth to his bredrin? They was like – ‘Aiight! we outta here…. or maybe not!!!’ Ambrose loses the match, Rollins with the distraction, and Reigns with the Spear to CM Punk – BLAOW!!!!

Good lord – Luke Harper’s clothesline is vicious rude boy! Put down Jimmy Uso ONE TIME! You know why that happened to you rude boy? Because of how you treated Naomi in Total Divas… the Wyatts didn’t like that… At least you sacrificed yourself for Naomi – for all you know the WWE creative could have thought about a love interest between Naomi and that dude with the goat/buzzard mask! On that hand, don’t blame ya rude boy! Protect your woman! Protect your queen!

Damn I LOVE MY B!TCH!! Tamina’s ferocity against Natalya turns me on!!! You know what  I’m making an early prediction – Tamina as a surprise entrant in the Royal Rumble next year! REMEMBER I TOLD YA!Tamina come hereTamina so ferocious she nearly teared up Natalya’s attire!!! I love her. F**k what you think!

This is wild yo! Champions, legends, hall of famers all up in the ring to witness the Championship Ascension! This segment is WrestleMania quality, maybe the fans are right – maybe this should have been at WrestleMania… the first time they unified the titles, the build up wasn’t even this big!

And so Triple TEEF lifts the championship high in the air.. and Randall thought it was a good idea to box Cena, and all hell breaks loose! But wait!! Randall boxes CM Punk accidentally!!! Oooh you shouldn’t have done that! CM Punk goes in!!! Boxing up Randall! Hold up – Triple TEEF pitches Punk out the way??? Can he do that??? GO AFTER HIM PUNK!!!


DANIELSON! He hasn’t forgotten about what HBShizzle did to him at the Hell In A Cell joint! JESUS HAVE MERCY!

Randall! tried an RKO on Danielson, but him block it, and runs right into an unsuspecting Stephanie!!!! OH NO! Randall has DONE IT NOW!

Look at the face of Bertie! Miz! Swagger! Ziggler! They know sh!t just got real!


Here’s the twist! Look at John Cena as if he has sided with the Authority! Nearly two years ago my hero Kane wanted to destroy him!!!

Oh man – I don’t know what to say! I can say this though – NO ONE SAW THAT ENDING! We have learned something today – Triple will make you the face of the company, buy you private jet and all that – but f**k with his wife – AND THEN YOU DIE!!!

Come on Michael Cole let’s get this interview with Triple poppin!!! THIS IS WRESTLEMA- (What? … It’s only TLC??? Really??? But, but…..!!!!!)

Just when I was about to end this blog…. shout out to STC’s Anthony Cardenas! He just showed me exclusive footage of what happened after RAW! Stephanie McMahon is A HIP HOP HEAD!!! CONFIRMED! CHECK IT OUT!








Monday Night Raw #1071: December 2, 2013!!!

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

Greetings Internet Wrestling B!tches! and all you fine normal folk out there that loves this wrestling sh!t! I am your host, The chocolate pudding eating, hip hop reppin, WWE2K14 @$$ Whoopin!!!! Infamous Informer a.k.a. Layla’s baby father a.k.a. The Last of My Kind a.k.a. GRANT-BODY – P!!!! I hope you had a blessed thanksgiving, cleaned out all the PS4′s on Black Friday, mourned the death of Paul Walker when you should mourn the deaths of the little seeds in the third world countries, then went out today in what they call Cyber Monday and cleaned out Amazon and eBay… now SHUDDUP, BE STILL and let’s get some more joke from the world of WWE why? because THAT’S WHAT WE DO!!!

29 days and counting down til this year dun! RAW #1071! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!


Oh no Punk Midas you know the rules in WWE! You don’t disrespect the authority!!! Now look what you done – you brought Stephanie out here…. actually that’s good… OH YEAAAH!

Oh yeah Stephanie you have matured… good gawd almighty! Come here girl!

Look at you IWC b!tches trying to look at Stephanie’s hand while she drops her own promo…. just enjoy the blasted show you miserable f**ks!

Oh no now look what you done Punk Midas! You made my hero Kane set up a match – you one Vs the entire Shield! You are the Best Inna De Wurl after all… I’m sure you can take them!

Now the Authoritaah guarantees there will be one champion… and it’s up to us – NO – the WWE Universe to decide what the title holder should be called: the Unified Champion, (that’s the closest to Unification!) the Undisputed WWE Champion, (My Pick,) or the Undisputed world champion? Bruce Buffer help me out here!!!

#1 Contender match for the Intercontinental championship: Dolph Ziggler Vs Damien Sandow (my pick) LET’S GO!!!

YES!!!! Sandow with the You’re welcome Supermove BLAOW!!!!! Man I love both guys (Langston & Sandow), but I gotta go with…. wait a minute now is not the time to give away my predictions???? f**kouttahere!!!

What’s wrong? Ziggler got buried you say? Come on man kill that noise! Ziggler buried himself man…. he might as well go to TNA!!! I buss up his clart on WWE2K14… on LEGEND difficulty! What does that tell you???? Dolph Ziggler is WACK – GET OVER IT!

And the Total Divas Vs AJ’s divas feud continues!!!! I love watching the Total DivasBDSIR LAYLA GRANTshow, but when it comes to the wrestling… I wanna get in between Summer Rae’s legs, bend AJ Lee over and hit it from the back…and let Tamina sit down pon it so I can see her sexy face as she rides!!!!

You know what’s brilliant about this? Tamina and Summer Rae are beating down the Bellas while AJ is skipping like she’s on the yellow brick road!!!! YES!

Oh no Natalya pinned the Divas Champion again???? AJ Lee what’s doing you girl????

I love how the cameraman was outta order when Wack Barrett disrespected the Oklahoma crowd calling the overweight miscreants and the camera finds some in the crowd… HA! HA! (By the way waste of segment!)

Hold up – Ladies Favourite Randall Orton just told Brad Maddox to tell the authoritaah that he is bigger than WWE????? You are not as big-headed as Kanye West but…

You don't have the answers


So let me get this right so I can understand this: If Punk Midas has gotta fight The Shield at TLC, does this mean that Danielson has gotta fight the Wyatts? JBL amused me… he said he would become a Wyatt in a heartbeat! Well THE GRANT SAYS – GO and be a Wyatt then!!! And stop climbing them damn mountains!

STC’s Anthony Cardenas is right – this contest between Danielson and Eric Rowan is surprisingly boring…. the crowd is wack, the commentators are talking some random sh!t, and the fans are tweeting about the Slammy Awards next week!

Hold up – I was gonna ask where Bray Wyatt was? He usually sits there in his rocking chair! See him here on the titantron!

So he’s cryptically telling Bryan to join the Wyatts? and he rolled his eyes into the back of his head????? BLASPHEMY!!!!

You know why the crowd is so wack? Think about it – it is Oklahoma after all… they’re still upset about what happened to Good Ol’ JR…

Oh my days I was right!!! My hero Kane just said Danielson gotta fight all the Wyatts! Hold up something just caught my attention…

Broadus Clay jealous that Xavier Woods did his ‘One Won’t Do’ with the funkadactyls???? Is this the slow heel turn that y’all muthaf***az want???

Look w’happen… Broadus lost to Xavier Woods!!! And soon… he will lose his precious funkadactyls!!!

LAWWD HAVE MERCY It’s Sin Cara!!!! Where the rarse did they find him from???

Backside where are the storylines man???? Where are the jokes? You know what, while Bertie has his contest with Sin Cara, I’ll leave you with this commercial break and will be right back after I pay these bills… enjoy the view!!

Photo Courtesy of Anthony Cardenas!!

Photo Courtesy of Anthony Cardenas!!

I wasn’t even paying attention to Cena’s promo… I was admiring Renée Young, who told Zack Ryder last week that if he won the WWE & World title she would date him… Do you know how stupid she made you look Zack??? She would only have to look at the Infamous Strudel and she would wanna date me!

All I’m seeing is bare wrestling matches!!! (what’s wrong with that? You may ask?) It’s all well and good but I’m getting no jokes here! Apart from Dean Ambrose selling Big Show’s slaps in the chest!

The Shield amuse me, saying to CM Punk that he wouldn’t last 5 minutes with one of em???? NEWSFLASH – CM Punk has had epic battles with Jericho, Cena, The Rock, Undertaker, and Brock Lesnar! Trust me Shield, CM Punk is a tough muthaf***a! Don’t underestimate him just because he appears like a little dude! He ain’t the Best Inna de Wurl for nothing!

HA! HA! HA! HA! Punk Midas is a joker! He is rippin the p!$$ out of the creative team! It’s true – those match ups are WACK! They just throwing sh!t together because the Slammy jump off is the next week… I say fire the lot of em Steph!! I thought you wanted a team that did soap operas and sh!t!!!

Amongst the awards next week is the Total Diva of the year award… can you imagine if Eva Marie won???? The IWC would RIOT!!!!! Come on EVA MARIE! HAHAHA!

Now what? Miz & Kingston forced to team up again??? I’m not even gonna talk about this unless something funny happens…

My hero Mark Henry is gonna f**k up Fandango!!! Good god almighty – Summer Rae… whoever her boyfriend is needs to write a book.

HA! HA! HA! Mark Henry showing Summer Rae that he still got the sexual chocolate! Don’t fight it Summer…. you knew you were getting wet…

You know what he should have done??? Grab up Summer Rae…. and tell her straight – THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!! He said that to a kid on Smackdown last week – I was in stitches!!!

STC’s Lee Steadx is right at this time – the hatred that flows through my veins when I see Zeb Colter on-screen… I hate him like Blade hates vampires! Like Shredder hates the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, like women hate each other when they fight over a man!

Now that’s funny… no one wants Cesaro to do the giant swing on Titus O’Neill because he threw up all over the ring on Smackdown last time!

You mean to tell me the WWE Universe voted for the Unified Champion??? Blodclart! Y’all better design a new muthaf***!n belt!

OH NO TRIPLE TEEF IS HERE! Now there is bound to be jokes!!!

I just love how Triple TEEF is clapping with sincerity!!!! And Stephanie got the message that Randall is bigger than the WWE…. but he still doesn’t have the answers!

I also like how Triple named all the greats who have held both titles, which Stephanie ending it with “ the Game Triple H!!!” TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!!

Well both Randall and Cena put pen to paper, Randall talked about how he brukk up Cena over the years, Cena talked about how Randall became a spoilt b!tch, Tables, Ladders and Chairs all over that b!tch, they brough the ruckus! Beating each other down with the chairs and the ladders, but in the end – Cena with the FU to Orton through a table – BLAOW!!!! Holding both championships like he is gonna be the man!

Now the WWE are using the words unification. Now they guarantee one champion. But why do i have this chilling feeling that both guys will grab a belt, then Triple comes out and takes the both of em…. and claims it as HIS???!!! I’m sorry but when Stephanie emphasised that Triple held both titles… I couldn’t help but smell a rat!!!!










The Jobber Blogger #79 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 28/11/13


Well it’s December, in what feels like no time at all. What’s worse is it’s Monday, I am officially well into my Fourth day into my Holiday, only Ten to go. Still, I am at least getting this week’s TNA: Impact written up with a glimmer regularity.

While it may no longer be Thanks Giving, I shall always give thanks to those whom made such a day possible. The American’s love to go out and celebrate their “American” traditions such as Thanks Giving, which has its roots firmly set in the English ways. But like everything they pride themselves on, we started it all! Not that this is a dig at the American culture by any stretch of the imagination, no, I for one would like to give them praise for creating “Black Friday”. Yup, they spend an entire day getting ready to Thank everyone for what they have, and not needing anything more. And then the next day they rush to the Supermarkets and beat the crap out of each other over inadequate pointless cheap deals on superficial materialistic gadgets. God bless America, and their weird, weird ways of living.


Impact Wrestling Logo


I am however thankful for TNA: Impact Wrestling, and they should be thankful for the UK holding their biggest Audience, what goes around comes around. Anywho! A special themed Thanks Giving show which highlight every year is who wears a silly Turkey suit, which I think sums up Thanks Giving perfectly. If anything, they should make it tradition that all Americans wear Turkey Suits on Thanks Giving and give thanks to all they have. And of course on behalf of the Englishmen who came before me, you’re quite welcome.

American Turkey

You guess it, for famous Americans, all I could think of was Obama, Bieber and Hilton! Huzah you lovely culture you!

Yup, nothing like a good bit of national ribbing and borderline racism to kick off a Blog! I do love a good rant!

Dixie Carter kicked off Impact… again, after a quick nosey through my notes it seems she hasn’t kicked off the show as much times as I’d like to make fun of. But that being said, the fact it feels like she does it every week is enough to make me complain! WRESTLING! DO YOU SPEAK IT?

Dixie’s first order of Business was to name a “Chief of Staff” to help her out in managing the Locker-room.  And I must be honest, I didn’t expect it to be Rockstar Spud, but apparently the British “know how to treat Royalty”.

Regardless of all that though, Spud for some reason has put on an even more over the top British accent, but he actually suits the role. What doesn’t suit the role though however, is the fact his name is Rockstar Spud, he created this whole “Rockstar” gimmick, and now he’s wearing a suit, so it’s a strange blend. I’ve always hated his name, though he is good at what he does. Being an arrogant small British guy is a great way to build awesome heat and for Spud to not only get his name out there , but to be the “fall guy” for Dixie.

Also to be announced are the World Title Tournament Matches – Kurt Angle vs. Magnus – Last Man Standing and Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy – Tables Match. I expect Roode will help Angle lose, and Magnus till take advantage of the situation, then Angle will then play a part in Jeff winning, thus Magnus can fully turn heel against arguably TNA’s biggest Baby Face. But that’s just a guess.

The fact that Dixie now says she has “spun the wheel of Dixie” just makes the idea seem silly from the get go. Surely something went wrong with the spinning wheel, else what was the point.

But that’s little niggly bits in an otherwise awesome concept!

Ethan Carter the Third vs. Curry Man

One of Dixie’s other announcements was the “Winner Winner, Turkey Dinner” that everyone who wins on tonight’s show well be invited to a Thanks Giving meal.

EC3’s current trend is to chose opponents himself, and thankfully this debut has been awesome thus far, I know his matches are rather dull, and despite changing opponents, they are the same. But they debuted Three Wrestlers at the same time in a very clever way I didn’t expect, so big props for that, and now to have Carter choice some classic TNA stars is great also.

Though Curry Man happened to sound a lot like Christopher Daniels, I think that is pure coincidence, though what hair was poking out from under his mask also looked like a cheap party shop wig, but that’s neither here or there. What does matter is that Curry Man can dance! And boy did he!

Nope, that isn’t really all that relevant, so let’s just say, EC3 won in the typical fashion we’ve seen since he turned up at Bound for Glory.

What is worth noting is this:

Free Ticket dude

Velvet Sky vs. Lei’D Tapa (w/Gail Kim)

Despite that this marks Lei’D Tapa’s first match on Impact (aside from her Gut Check debut) TNA didn’t really do a lot to big it up. It’s something I’ve been waiting for since she turned up, personally I think they are building toward a Tapa vs. ODB, which would be an awesome bout for sure.

But that shouldn’t discount Velvet’s abilities, though obviously it’s sort of hard to take Velvet seriously when she goes up against… well anyone. So put her against Tapa and it’s just face palm territory should she gain any type of momentum.

One thing I don’t like about Lei’D Tapa so far is that she talks / shouts during the match, and also during some of her beat downs, I think she comes across much more meaningful and intimidating to just beat you down violently. Though I suppose she needs to talk, else her Ventriloquist act wouldn’t be quite as good?

Tapa Sock puppet

 But alas, Tapa won in what was an impressive “official” debut.

Broman’s (w/DJ Zema Ion) vs. Dewey Barnes and Norv Fernum – Turkey Suit Match?

This all came about when Eric Young confronted the Broman’s and Zema Ion backstage with the Traditional Turkey Suit match. I’ve always been a fan of Robbie E, and obviously Jesse needed to be teamed with him, and thus far they have been awesome! But this segment is the absolute highlight!

Throw Zema Ion into the mix, and it’s perfect! And yes, this means that Zema is back in TNA! Zema left due to an illness but remained on good terms, and now he’s back! I always liked his in-ring skills, but I just couldn’t get into his gimmick. However upgrade that gimmick to work with the Broman’s, and he is awesome! A perfect fit to the team! Give him a DJ deck so he can shout and make stupid noises over their entrance and match is the best thing I’ve seen on Wrestling TV in a long time!

DJ Zema

It seems that Dewey and Norv are going to be sticking around as a Tag-Team, and their new music is still great, though they were defeated in around 20 seconds by the Broman’s, and then forced to dance around in Turkey suits. I think the idea was that they enjoyed the experience. Maybe “Turkey Boyz” as a team name?.. Struttin Wingz, Gobbled and Gooked,…. Weird Birdz?…. Giggly Flap Jacks?

Triumphant Turkeys?

This week’s the “Friends of AJ Styles” segment actually seemed to move things forward as Dixie shouted at AJ, for stealing her title, her property, and he was supposed to go home rather than build this world wide title defence thing. So apparently AJ has one week to return the Championship before she takes serious action. I can’t tell if it’s too soon for AJ to be coming back, or if something else will happen. I think personally we need to forget a little about AJ, and have Dixie rule with no doubt Magnus as Champion for a little while before AJ crashed the party. But I certainly look forward to seeing what they have planned.

Mr. Anderson held a Funeral for The Aces and Eights, which was attended by Samoa Joe, Magnus, Kurt Angle, Eric Young and Mike Tenay… still no Sting?

Though the idea of this segment seems stupid, and yes, it did run a little too long, however it was superb! Wrestling truly is the weirdest mix of everything you can think of, and shows like this week’s was a wonderful refresher of what Wrestling can be. Let’s be honest, since Hogan has been gone, TNA has been amazing… o.O I didn’t think I would say that.

Whilst Anderson and the Priest rattled on about The Aces and Eights, Magnus was on the phone, Joe was eating, EY was in tears! Tenay “Why are you crying?” – EY “I don’t know!”

Though Kurt had to make a stupid speech about D’Lo brown and through a Bobble Head into the casket, which was a little pointless. Joe decided to give them some James Storm Beer, but then handed it out to everyone but not Kurt Angle, which I found rather funny. Mike Tenay places Taz’s Cut into the casket but keeps Brooke’s shorts which he sneaks away into his jacket, which then led to a cut away of Magnus pointing and nodding which was even funnier if I’m honest. And then EY had the Turkey suit which he started crying over.

Bully however crashed the segment, looking like AJ styles in a homeless man kind of way, declaring that this isn’t the “end” it’s the “final awakening” so I hope to see some awesome things between Bully and Anderson which I imagine will be a great feud leading into the new year.

Bobby Roode, Kazarian, Christopher Daniels and Chris Sabin vs. Kurt Angle, James Storm, Gunner and Magnus – Elimination 8-Man Tag

Team Roode vs. Team Angle being the Main Event is an interesting one,  I feel fairly sure that they won’t meet in the Finals of the World Title Tournament, but will remain a top feud in TNA.

However the choice to have the entire Team Angle lose instantly was an odd one. Don’t get me wrong, I love that they did it. I personally hate the old “face looses first but fights back” crap.

The fact that Team Roode dominated the match was great, pinning out Storm and Gunner rather quickly, and then Magnus “hurt his knee”, leaving just Angle to fight.

Kurt did his best, actually building quite an offensive against Team Roode single handily. The numerous Suplexes and Ankle Locks was a great touch, but obviously his odds of Winning was not in his favour. And I love that they didn’t have Angle “defy the odds” instead he just wailed on them all with a Steel Chair, getting himself DQ’d in the process, but that made for a much better ending.

Though it does make Roode look increasingly stronger than Angle, given that Angle defeated himself twice too. It also makes Storm and Gunner look rubbish, given that they spent a good bit of Air-Time to build how powerful Gunner was originally. And no doubt Magnus wasn’t that injured and that will play a part next week when he faces Kurt one on one in the Semi-Finals of the Title Tournament.

Winner, Winner – Turkey Dinner

Spud was in charge of the festive meal, which actually led a good few backstage segments through-out the night where he was complaining from the lack of Fish and Chips, Sunday Lunch and Toad in the Hole. To top it all off was the “Bloody Yanks!” remark.

It’s a bold move of TNA to have their “Thanks Giving” show dominated by Heels. Velvet Sky accompanied Sabin to the Dinner, but was then kicked out, giving Zema Ion a place at the Table. What bugged me the most was Gail Kim sitting at the Table leaving Lei’D Tapa just standing there. I am becoming increasingly more sure that Tapa will eventually turn on Gail in her open challenge.

Bad Influence also kept up the bashing of Joseph Park through-out the show, no doubt this will eventually lead to his return or Abyss or whatever.

Either way, Kurt Angle crashed the Dinner, claiming them all to be losers, and cheated to win! Which actually no one cheated and clearly they all won their match. If anything it makes the good guys look really bad and sore losers. Though that didn’t stop Angle, Gunner, Storm, EY, ODB, Velvet, Norv and Dewey from having a big food fight / brawl to close the show amongst the loud “TNA, TNA, TNA!” Chants from the crowd.

The good ol TNA Chant is something that warms my heart, though I much prefer it when it’s spontaneous from awesome matches, rather than just random good guy vs. bad guy food fights. However this week’s show packed in enough craziness to make it stand out as a great episode of Impact. With the Semi-Finals of the World Title Tournament next week, not to mention AJ’s deadline to hand back the belt, it should continue to be awesome!

TNA’s new direction has been fantastic, so here’s hoping it continues to deliver!

Till then!


TNR Cover 12

The Jobber Blogger #78 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – Turning Point – 21/11/13

Jobber Blogger logo2Well, I guess so long for that Saturday tradition. Tuesday night and here I sit Jobbing Blogging till I stop! That’s as much enthusiasm I can muster for an opening Line. I eagerly await my Playstation 4 on Friday, whilst friends game on the Xbox One, rumours fly around about TNA Wrestling, The Jobber Blogger is contemplating many secret plans and Brian Griffin dies. Well I guess that makes for an interesting week? But the real question is TNA: Wrestling an interesting show this week with Turning Point?

TNA Turning Point

 TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – Turning Point – 21/11/13

So one thing I am currently plundering is my “Best of 2013” edition of The Jobber Blogger quickly approaching in only a few weeks time. And of course one of those nifty titles belongs to “PPV of the Year” which I suppose, till now, I hadn’t even thought. Because to most Wrestling Fans, I’m sure the title PPV just means a Special Monthly Show where “poop hits the fan” and not actually something you Pay to View. So technically, there is only 4 to pick from this Year, but enough of that. I will still count all of the Impact TV Specials, and Turning Point, could quite possibly be the best.

Impact kicked off with the “Impact 365 – Where Action Never Ends”  video of Bobby Roode attacking James Storm in a pub the night before, another good thing to come from this whole Social Video idea. Personally I would like to see more things done out of the Arena like this, a good old bar room brawl is nothing but fun to watch. Do you think this might scare Storm sober? I suppose the name “Storm” would at best describe an alcohol fuelled mind set and chaotic competitor. So if he were to be Sober, he would probably be called something along the lines of James Meadow.

James Storm sorry about

Turning Point’s opening Video was also a strong starting off point for the night’s proceedings. When they have had great Storylines and awesome matches lined up, their Video Team is on top form to deliver a great video package, let’s be honest, we get it each and every week, shows the Strength of TNA’s Creative, least from a planning perspective, that which is similar to classic Television Story-Telling, and the Character Arks which are perfectly formed within the Comic-Book medium.

Dixie Carter also opened the show, first backstage with Samoa Joe, telling him that she Watches herself over and over on repeat, which is everything but normal.

Dixie Watch

She however, was not happy with Joe’s performance last week, stepping up and claiming he will defend the Championship against AJ Styles, simply put she threatened him with “never take that tone with me again”. Dixie’s an awesome Heel, a move I certainly wouldn’t have really thought about, she’s a natural at it, and it is perfect, Perfect, to fit in with the “old TNA” storyline with AJ and Joe, and great to balance the “hate” from the Internet Community.

Dixie then hit the ring to promote herself in the new Sports Illustrated magazine.

Sports Illustrated article

She then publically addresses AJ Styles (because you do) and then the whole thing turning into James Storm begging for a “Florida Death match” against Bobby Roode rather than the pesky “Bull Rope Match”. This either means one of two things, the Wheel isn’t actually rigged and they wanted to up the stake, or they soon realised a Bull-Rope match sucks. Either way Storm swore down to still use the Bull-Rope, but he won’t get the police involved from his Bar Room beat down, if Dixie lets him have his way. Nothing like a good bit of Black-Mail, to your boss… who’s a Woman.

Storm Warrior

 Magnus vs. Samoa Joe – Falls Count Anywhere – World Title Tournament

Well this thing got started really well, Joe popped up on the Big Screen and challenged Magnus to get backstage to fight him. It seems TNA were going for an old school / hardcore type of Event, and they delivered. Magnus and Joe tore it up backstage, but it was far too short before they just got back to the ring and made it a normal match.

Given that this tournament started with Sabin and Hardy in what I highly consider a Match of the Year, Angle and Aries didn’t match that level of quality, and this was just so far on the opposite scale it’s kind of funny.

That doesn’t mean that this was bad… though I will go so far as to say the Ending actually was terrible. Joe did however hit with a Suicide Dive through the ropes that looked like Magnus was meant to do something else rather than them both collide with such a high impact.

Still, the ending came when Magnus wedged a Chair between the ropes (whilst on the outside of the ring) and then Joe pretty much ran into it, with very little effort. The chair wasn’t even placed in a good position for it to be an accident, and he slapped his hands on it, fell over and then Magnus won. It’s like lightly pushing a kid in school and he jumps across the grass then looks around before purposely banging his head on the metal PE Shed…. what are the odds?

Samoa Joe Chair

Joseph Park vs. Abyss

Bad Influence kicked this off first by bringing their creative humour front and centre whilst addressing Joseph Park:

Joseph Park Cheese

Park then came out to face the “music” saying he will put all of these wild allegations to rest and that this match will be his “Turning Point”.

Bad Influence stuck around to witness the match, but with Abyss not showing up, they got back in the face of Joseph Park, and the insults were quick, funny, then it got a little thin.

“Bag of Mayonnaise with a Law Degree in a Track Suit” / “Great, great, great, Grandfather, Jurassic Park”.

Bad Influence then became just nasty bullies, rather than nasty, and funny, which is odd. I love Bad Influence, but I guess Park is so good at playing this “Fish out of Water” struggling want to be Wrestler, that people sympathise with his character because of how “innocent” he is. So when Bad Influence just gang up on him and poor blood over him and scream in his face, it became a little hard to watch. Park in the end just walked off with Daniels yelling “Get out of our business”. So I assume this will be the last of Joseph Park for a little while, till Abyss no doubt will probably somehow bring the two together… maybe.

Gail Kim (w/Lei’D Tapa) vs. Candice Larea

I believe I spelt her name right, I did Write it down… but alas, I struggle to read my own Writing.

That about covers all I wrote for the match, though Candice was actually quite good. Personally I want them to bring in some fresh talent to the Knockouts, The Blossoms have always impressed me, but there is no need or room for a Tag-Team, so I don’t know how you would balance them as a Women’s Team in a Singles Division. But although Candice showed she was still learning the ropes per se, she was very good, so who knows?

Either way, Gail obviously won her, and her Open Challenge continues.

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode – Florida Death-Match – World Title Tournament

Okay, so what is the point in calling this a Florida Death-Match, other than to get the Pun for being in Florida. It is a Last Man Standing match, I never get why certain places hold different names for matches we already know. If anything it’s a disappointment, because you hope to see something you haven’t seen before.

Speaking of seeing things you haven’t seen before, they actually Ran a Video Package for this match which actually built from their Beer Money days and ended with Roode winning the World Title. So that’s awesome given that the footage used was 2 years old, and completely irrelevant to what was about to take place.

Still, Roode and Storm have an awesome rivalry, and it’s great to see it going.

I think “Brutal” will sum up this Match, not to the level of their Bound for Glory Street Fight, but they certainly pulled out the stops. What is more important is how much better Roode came across, given that Storm held the advantage before, Roode was the one who not only beat him down in the Pub the night before, but also was the stronger of the two, the more sadistic, dominant and hungrier to win. So it kind of looks like Storm really did himself in for asking for a match he could not win.

Roode’s new “Death-Valley Cutter” move is still being used, so that makes me happy, I love it. He used it to drop Storm through 2 Chairs stood front to front. He then picked him up for the same thing on a Barbed Wire Board, but Gunner threw in the Towel for the Cowboy.

Obviously Storm was annoyed, but Gunner was all “Think of your Career” and we’re supposed to think Gunner was doing the right thing, least that’s the impression I got from Mike Tenay constantly repeating “Gunner did the right thing”. Though Gunner is an ex marine, he’s a tough nut, he wouldn’t want anyone throwing in the towel for him, let alone how weak it makes Storm look. I would be rather happy if they both went their separate ways, with either of them Turning Heel, I think Storm is longer over-due for a Heel Turn, might give him a good boost he sorely needs currently.

Also on the show was a new Video Promo for Sam Shaw, the Gut Check winner whom hasn’t yet been fired, but rather than him wearing silly shorts and trying to be a hip Surfer dude even though he’s well past that age, they have made him smarter, referring to himself as Samuel Shaw, and has a weird interview date with Christy Hemme. He even shows her his Art Portfolio, now I don’t know if he actually drew the pictures, but they’re pretty good, there was even a John Cena one they paused on, so there’s that? But Christy seemed intrigued, and Shaw lifted the next few pages where we saw a Bloody Baseball Bat and Barbed Wire and stuff, and he closed it quickly before Christy could see, then asked her on a Date and got her number.

Well I’m all for creativity, but given that they’ve given him the “My 7 Year Old Child drew Scary Pictures” storyline from every Horror Movie with a Child in it, I shall remain intrigued, and also find it stupid.

Though the idea he has this weird flip side to strange hardcore moments certainly fits with TNA’s current angle, so it could be rather good, time will tell.

Ethan Carter the Third vs. Shark Boy

EC3 invited both Dewey and Norv to the Impact Zone to tell them that their feud is over, I can’t help but think that maybe they will actually stick around, but time will tell.

Having Shark Boy back, which I assume will probably just be a One Off as it has been for years, is still no bad thing.

Typical match though, EC3 has upper hand, underdog builds a comeback, EC3 wins.

More importantly Kurt Angle went to see One Direction, and he even did a Promo with either the lamest Smile, or the best false Smile I’ve seen:


Kurt Angle One Direction

Also TNA: Genesis is back, January 16th. But it will be a TV Special, not a PPV.

Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson – No DQ – Club vs. Career

Mr. Anderson has new Ring-Gear, it’s not nearly as snazzy as Magnus’ new attire, but it’s different. I can’t tell if I like it or not. It’s kind of strange seeing him in Tights rather than Trunks, but I don’t dislike it. If anything it’s kind of bland, like HBK’s come back tights from Survivor Series 02.

Bully cuts a Promo on he brining Anderson back, as before The Aces and Eights he was nothing. It’s true, The Aces and Eights breathed new life into Anderson. It’s this that worries me going forward, if they don’t stay on top of it, Anderson will just disappear off TV again, just remaining some Wrestler whose only gimmick is saying his name twice on his entrance.

Anderson didn’t wait for JB’s introduction and speared Bully, also knocking JB down, so it’s win win really.

Either with The Aces and Eights, or just recently without them, Anderson has been on fire, and it showed in this match, he was on the ball, and the crowd were eating it up.

Also Angle, Gunner, Magnus, Samoa Joe and some other dude from the back stood on the Entrance Way to support Andersons battle to finish the Aces and Eights. Where the hell is Sting? Sting started it all, and he built the only defence against them, but he isn’t there to witness their end.

Knux gets involved, as the only active member of the club remaining, so that’s quite good. Though Anderson pile-drivers him on the Floor and pulls off his Cut. I like that TNA aren’t against using the Pile-Driver, but it still worries me watching it, I think for a one-off, it’s fine. But make sure it’s used right, for instance, I trust Bully Ray using it, but Anderson, and with a guy as big as Knux, I mean it looked really fake, but that’s a good thing really.

Bully connected with the Spear through the Table in the corner, just like their No DQ match the first time, Anderson kicked out at two.

Taz then handed a Hammer to Brooke, who threw it in the ring but it went past Bully and Anderson caught it, swinging it in the head of Bully then drops him with the Mic Check and Wins.

Anderson then pulls off his Cut, as Angle, Joe surround Taz and he removes his cut too.

All in all, it was a great show, it’s sad to see the end of The Aces and Eights, but it did run on a bit too long, least with how it was going. If they had made it more interesting, then it didn’t run long enough.18 Months it lasted, and it started super strong and exciting, then increasingly got worse with the odd highlight, then just flat lined and dragged its feet for the majority of its on air presence.

It will always remain an Awesome Idea with huge potential, but the best example of a crap payoff.

Even though I changed my Logo, I think it is only fair that I also turn in my Aces and Eights cut!

TheJobberBlogger Aces and Eights Prospect


Be interesting to see where Bully goes from now though, and also where Anderson goes, and what Sting’s role will be in all of this. Not to mention the World Title Tournament heats up with Hardy vs. Roode and Angle vs. Magnus.

And of course the return of one AJ Styles.

Till Then.

Dan Wilkinson

TNR Cover 12

Monday Night Raw #1070: November 25, 2013!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

Monday Night Raw #1070: November 25, 2013!!!

F**K AN INTRO!!! I think what happened at Survivor Series after Raw went off the air told the story:

Watch from 19:52…

I hope Vincent Kennedy turns up!!!! RAW #1070: HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZShout out to Mad Dog Vachon….Live On Live Long my dude…

Michael Strahan is this weeks host???? Say whaaaaat?? I wanna shot at being a Raw host! Imagine that!!!

Why are the crowd chanting Daniel Bryan in this first segment??? GET OVER IT muthaf***az – Bryan was teefed, you want a switch up – you complain. Bryan and Orton feuded for 3 months – YOU said it was getting boring… to quote Mike Knoxxx: “WHY DO YOU WATCH WRESTLING???”

Looks like we are gonna get that title unification match a lot sooner than we anticipated!!! John Cena Vs Ladies Favourite Randall Orton in a TLC match at the TLC PPV in three weeks??? Suddenly TLC is already better than Survivor Series!!!

Straight away – who y’all backing??? I’m going for Randall all the way!!!!! You wanna know why? Because the Royal Rumble is coming. Now we know that the winner goes to WrestleMania to face one champion. There will no longer be 2. That also means that the Brand Extension is DEAD!!!!! What do you think of that Brand Extension fans???? YOU B!TCHES!!!!

Undertaker has a message for the Brand Extension:

Big ups to the Shield who brukk up the Rhodes Family and Rey Mysterio… Roman Reigns is STILL DA MAN!!! I see you IWC b!tches putting up debates on when the Shield gon break up…. I thought you wanted them to fight the Wyatt man dem???? Listen to yourselves!!!! Get out the basement and hit the gym…. d!ckheads!!!!

So hold up… if Michael Strahan is the guest on Miz TV and The Miz is the host, WHO is the host???? I don’t think the fans care here….

Makes a change that Titus O’Neill is actually wearing something sensible in a formGRANT - BODY - P of a suit…. not that pink brief sh!t that he and his partner be wearing!

Hold up – is The Miz challenging Strahan to a wrestling contest??? A wha de rarse??? OH SNAP – Strahan just did a hip toss on The Miz???? RAH-TID! Ok own up – how long did you practise that move in the Performance Center????

OH SNAP!!!!! Big E Langston and my hero Mark Henry tag team????? Whoever the opponent is – they DEAD!!!!! Oh it’s Axel and Ryback??? Oh dear they gon lose again!!!! I didn’t even hear their music hit!!!

Oh my days Henry & Langston straight killin em! Henry with the World’s Strongest Slam to Curtis Axel – BLAOW!!!!!! THATS WHAT I DO!!!!

We gonna have a rematch with the Total Divas Vs AJ Lee’s Divas???? So good like New York you gotta name it twice!!!! Mike Dogg wins again, you IWC b!tches LOSE!!!!

Guess what else is back other than Mark Henry: My chocolate pudding baby! Taste like Cameron & Naomi!


I wanna see Eva Marie fight again!!! She better do a wrestling move this time!

Damn Tamina took out my Nubians ONE TIME!!! Before I could say ‘sweeeeeet!’

WHOA!!! JoJo eliminated Tamina????? BACKSIDE! Eva Marie eliminated Alicia Fox??? BACKFOOT!!!!

Brie Bella eliminated AJ????? I smell a fatal 4 way now!!! Natalya pinned her, so did Naomi!!!

OH NO! The crowd want Summer Rae to twerk it – twerk it!!!! That can’t be all she good fa! Bella Twins doing the worm… All they need is Kharma/Awesome Kong to join them and be the ‘Rikishi’ of the crew! That would be cool!!! (see what I did there???)

What I wanna know is, what is the difference between a street fight and a hardcore match???? Answers on a postcard please! Tweet answers @MZATheInfamous! Damien Sandow Vs Dolph Ziggler…. Backing Sandow here! Don’t let me down son!!!

Michael Cole – why the f**k did you say ‘shades of attitude era’ during this match??? You want the attitards to start reaching for their lower extremities and start pleasuring themselves???

Yes!!! My boy came through!!!! Sandow with the ‘You’re Welcome’ super move on Ziggler onto the trash can – BLAOW!!!! F**k you Ziggler fans! (people called him the next Shawn Michaels….IDIOTS!!! HAHAHA!!!)

Clearly Michael Strahan put that goat mask on and never realised he could be following the buzzards!!!! He fears NO MAN but GOD!!! Looked at the Wyatt dude as if to say – what’s up homes???!!!

I love that they give Renée Young ring time now…. as an announcer that is. She is so fine – OHHHHHH!! Front Way – Back way – Side way – I’d TEAR DAT @$$ UP!!!

I like this promo right here… every question Punk asks, Daniel Bryan & the crowd respond – YES! But the killer question he asked was ‘isn’t it ironic that we are asking the questions – and Renée Young is holding a microphone asking nothing?’ YES!!!!

I gotta question then – is Renée Young a sexy muthaf***a who needs a good f**k??? YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

Punk & Bryan Vs The Wyatt man dem – LET’S GO!!!

You know I’m watching this match…. and I’m beginning to think that these Wyatt mans aren’t as good as they are made out…. like their psychology is good with their gimmick and all that, but their wrestling skills are not as refined as The Shield…. you nah mean? Like their fighting style comes off as sloppy, or maybe that was the idea, sloppy -but effective.

Quote of the night from JBL: “The WWE Universe are very smart Michael (Cole), don’t underestimate them…” So THE GRANT SAYS – Why does the script writers write certain storylines and expect us to forget certain aspects of history????

It’s all gone buckwild and the ref just shut down the match… but watch da ride – the Wyatt man dem have taken Daniel Bryan away, while the Shield brukk up CM Punk!!! One year ago that would never happen! Triple Powerbomb through the canvas – BLAOW!!!!! Lawd have mercy – I have NO IDEA where this is going heading into TLC! How unpredictable was that??!!!

Oh hell to the naw!!!! the Miz out-wrestled Kofi Kingston twice??? CHU!!!! I’m tired as a muthaf***a… but the difference is – you lot can go to bed. I must continue entertaining my readers!!!!

YES!!! The Funkadactyls are back!!! This time with Xavier Woods!!! This is great!!! That’s why they got eliminated quickly earlier! But finally my girls come out with someone sensible… does this mean Albert and Broadus are future endeavoured???? I HOPE SO!!! Gwarn Xavier! Brukk up that idiot Slater! YES!!! THAT’S WHAT’S UP! Shout out to R-Trizzy!!!!

Yo that new DVD looks like a MUST HAVE in every wrestling fan’s collection! WWE 50 Year history… go COP THAT SH!T!!!!

WWE 50 Years

I bet Michael Strahan must be cussing in his mind when he had the Bellas, Funkadactyls and Eva Marie throwing their pu$$y at him… but then he turns round and sees Goldust!!!! NOOOOOOOOO! That dude scares me rude boy! All that segment needed was Ron Simmons to appear at the side……….


Good to see the WWE Universe have sense when they are ready, naming Stone Cold Steve Austin as The Rock’s greatest WrestleMania Rival…haha you gotta love WWE for keeping The Rock’s name in their mouth, sweetening him to appear at WrestleMania XXX!!! He will be there… to those who don’t think he will be there… just remember who I am: the chocolate pudding eating, diva loving, last true hip hop standing, sword swinging Infamous Informer!!!

Ok the main event that Strahan set up… Ladies favourite – Randall Orton and Referee Tonya’s favourite – Bertie Vs The Big Show and John Cena… a man who has earned even more of my respect since he gave Nikki Bella his moment of clarity on Total Divas!

Shout out to STC’s Lee Steadx – his ‘hatred’ for Cena had him write this on the Raw live thread:

“my fantasy raw ending would be taker coming down with a casket putting cena in it and nailing it shut!!”

With that one comment, that made me think – the WrestleMania XXX storylines are being written before our very eyes RIGHT NOW!

Bwoy too many blows in Big Show’s head side nearly had the ref stopping this match…. what a good thing Big Show tagged Cena in the 9th inning… Cena had Bertie tapping like a b!tch but Randall thought – f**k that and blasted Cena with the belt – BLAOW!!!!

I’m making this early prediction right now – based on Steadx’s vision – Randall will WIN the title unification match… which means either Punk or Bryan will win the Rumble – Cena will either fail or compete in a WWE Undisputed Championship. There is no purpose of the Elimination Chamber unless the WWE Undisputed title is defended… which leads to WrestleMania, where Cena will compete in a major match – not WWE title. Either against the Undertaker like Cena kinda wished for, or in another ‘dream’ match.

Now time to go in the booth on the BDSIR Network…