Category Archives: The Infamous Informer

WWE Wrestling Blog by the man from Northampton.

Monday Night Raw #1316, August 13, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

The Heaven Wrestling Federation has gained a new superstar y’all…

Hart Foundation

Yo Anvil… tell Owen, The British Bulldog and Brian Pillman we said hello… holy smokes… they got The Hart Foundation… minus Bret…

GRANT BODY-P!

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REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like…CM PUNK! Yeah I said it! Are you that much of an @$$hole that your best friend has to take you to court? According to WrestleTalk The Chicago fans are even turning on you, they used to see you as a wresssssstlinnnnng…godddddd!!!! If I was AJ Lee… I’d think about that song Eve did…

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RAW 1316! Aaaaaah sheeeeeet SUMMERSLAM SOON DROP!!! Brace yourselves… the ‘NXT Takeover is better than Summerslam’ memes are coming…

Oh Yeah! Renee Young is gonna do her thing on commentary this week! OHHHHHHHH! I love that woman!!! More than Dean Ambrose! YEAH I SAID IT! Dean is representing for the lads though so maximum ratings! Let’s get a pic of Renee Young… FOR NO REASON!

Renee BIG

Renee loves Hip Hop… DAMNIT I wished I saw her first!

DID YOU KNOW? That Tyler Breeze still has a job here at the World Wrestling Federation? I know – neither did I!

Corbin says – this is a Man’s World… If he loses now… he will bring disgrace to James Brown and himself…

But he hits the Deep Six super move  – BLAOW! 1, 2 and…3! He’s managed to save face!

Who the f**k is Ricky Roberts? Calls himself a fan of Elias… even Shawn Michaels himself must feel embarrassed as a fan of country music himself!

GRANT BODY-P!

They say don’t meet your heroes as you will be disappointed… well I’m glad to say that doesn’t apply to me – as I already met Ghostface Killah and that man is surprisinglyGRANTFACE KILLAH humble. But in the case of Ricky Roberts… his hero just told him to brukk up Bobby Lashley…

I know Ricky Roberts did not just try to hit Bobby Lashley with the guitar… somebody is going underneath the ground tonight… and that’s all there is to it!

Spinebuster by Lashley – BLAOW!!! Ricky – I tried to warn you that country music is wack! No one listens to that sh!t!

Question – what the rarse is Alicia Fox wearing on her head top? It looks like one of those flower filter things you jabronies like to do on your gidgets gadgets!

Alexa Blitch better find a way to defeat Ember Moon you know why? Because if Ronda Rousey fails… Ember Moon is more than a threat to that title!

Alexa Blitch just blew a kiss to Ronda Rousey! I know Alexa… Ronda is sexy as f**k!

GRANT BODY-P!

Mind games against Ember Moon? Bad idea! Ember looks like Blade the daywalker had sex with Regina King and out came Ember Moon!!!!

Ember hit the Eclipse! BLAOW! Here’s the cover! 1, 2 and… Alicia Fox TEEEEEEEEF! Ember had the match won right there! She nearly pointed to the Summerslam sign (Oh wait…)

GRANT BODY-P!

Rousey twisted up Alicia! I thought Rousey was gonna take Alicia’s bad arm and brukk it up again!

But before all this happened… Ronda had to address Jim ‘The Anvil’ Neidhart…

“…Our fathers are pillars of strength in a hostile world…they are our reassurance that everything is going to be ok…but when that reassurance is ripped away, we have to face the fact that our fathers have been raising us to be the pillars of strength that our families need when they’re gone.”

REAL TALK. Which is why those Jeremy Kyle Female jabronies who try to claim father’s day as their own – STOP THAT SH!T. Unless you can kick ball with your kids, learn to fish with your kids, learn to fix machinery with your kids, do all that father sh!t… instead you’re there with your gidgets gadgets being an attention seeker on Facebook, throwing up selfies and filters and sh1t, with your dutty draws on the concrete floor while taking a selfie, taking photos of your dinner like that is supposed to impress me, all that sh1t… I say this to you ratchets…

SEAN PRICE - STFU

Cannot lie this Triple Threat match for the tag team titles is maaaaaaaad!!! The Revival hit the shatter machine on Wyatt though – BLAOW! But Curtis Axel was the legal man! 1, 2 and… 3!!!! STILL THE TAG CHAMPIONS!!!

Their entrance music sounds like some Power Rangers sh1t! B-TEAM B-TEAM GO GO GO GO! F**K OUTTA HERE!

GRANT BODY-P!

Seen! So there was a clause in the contract saying there would be somebody in each corner! Been as Drew Wackintyre is so TEEF, Seth Rollins made sure he sent for his bredrin!

Since Ziggler got a Scottish Psychopath, Rollins needs a LUNATIC in his corner! Y’ALL KNOW!

You can’t call him the Lunatic Fringe anymore! Fringe GARNE! He looks like he’s been pumping iron too!

Straight away Mike Cole f**ks up ‘The Lunatic Fringe is back!’ DYAM ARSE! That’s why they training up Renee Young to replace your @$$!

Talking of which… Renee might be getting wet….WITH PERSPIRATION!!! Calling this segment!!!

Dean Ambrose looks like he could pass for Vinny Jones younger brother who just come out of prison!

Either WWE and Vincent Kennedy did some serious crowd editing or they are really with Double R right now!

“I’m gonna send Brock so far down the UFC he’s gonna have his head stuck up Dana White’s @$$!” 

Haters – YOU HAVE NO BARS – That line right there? Had Austin or The Rock say that same sh!t, You would be losing your mind right now!

Heyman has shaved his beard! He looks a lot better than last week! He looked like he was having a breakdown and sh!t! Sorry – after Mark Herny’s award-winning performance, even going back to ‘who ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin’ when I knew from day one that Triple TEEF was behind it… I don’t fall for sh!t these days!

WHOA! Heyman is f**k!n with the internerds right now! RRRRRRRRoman…RRRRRReigns!!!! Sounds good doesn’t it internerds? Yeah go and have sex with your sister…

OH MY GOD!!! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING!!!! YO YO YO!!!! STOP IT!!!!

You think Double R likes that idea? You can see it is swirling in his head top!

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WTF IS THAT? TEAR GAS? PAUL HEYMAN TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!!! OH SH1T I’M DUN!!!!!! THIS IS BRILLIANT!

OHHHHHHH NO!!! NOW BROCK LESNAR’S MUSIC HIT! SOMEBODY GONNA GET F**KED UP TONIGHT!

“A man can’t see he can’t fight!” Corey Graves has been watching The Karate Kid 3 lately!

Is that a guillotine choke Brock’s putting on Double R? AAAH SHEEEEEEET! Dana White must be killing full set of teet right now!

Haters chanting ONE MORE TIME! After Brock hit the first F-5! Holy smokes! You BARBARIANS!

This also happened right after Ronda spoke about Natalya’s pops… Alexa Blitch and her flower filter friend come out talking sh1t…

Oh man… if I was Ronda – I would SOOOOO cane row my hair at Summerslam and show this b!tch that I’m not playing! F**K that – I would get disqualified on purpose if it meant f**k!n up Alexa Blitch! Break her arm CLEAN!!!!

Oh lord look at these WWE developme- er I mean security guys to protect Alexa from Ronda Rousey! 4 strapping men I might add!!! If I was Ronda I would hire Batman! YOU HAVE SEEN WHAT HE DOES IN THOSE ARKHAM GAMES!

HEY TEEEEEF! Alexa ran through the security and knocked Ronda off the apron! Here we go!!!

Security are doing their job! Kinda reminds me of Takeshi’s Castle where the contestant has to get past the emerald guards with the football!

Grid_iron

Oh snap she got through! Judo tossed one of em, kicked down another, throwing fists to a third! And look at the black security guard just standing there like – LAWWWWWWWWD! NO SAH! ME GARNE!

That was brilliant! See this is that WWE sh!t I like! BARE JOKES!!! You notice I skipped like 3 or 4 wrestling matches? Yeah because it’s BORING to talk about wrestling!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! I’M DUN! THEY GOT TERRY CREWS TO HOST SUMMERSLAM! LOOK AT HIS FACE! OH I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO SUMMERSLAM NOW! BRING ON THE SMACK TALK CENTRE GATHERING!

IN-DEED!!!

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Monday Night Raw #1315, August 6, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

The other day Facebook pulled up this memory…

 

Sometimes Mark Zuckerberg can do something right! Aaah man these are memories right here! This is how the Smack Talk Centre gets down! See we are not your average Facebook wrestling group nah! When the big four PPVs come together, so do we, and we don’t complain on the internet the next day either! We know this wrestling sh1t is jokes, and we get the pum-pum on a regular!

GRANT BODY-P!

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REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like…Grace Jones in the film Boomerang… if she asked the Infamous Informer ‘when are we gonna f**k’ I would run for the hills!!! (I watched that film recently…some of the women in that film… OOOHHHHHHHH! )

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RAW 1315! We gonna see Ronda Rousey fight! In her little kilt and her little sports bra…ooooh GOD-DAYUUUUUUUUM!

Ronda entrance

I just wanna get this over and done with because Street Fighter V just got updated and I wanna get my Sagat on and Tiger Uppercut muthaf***az!

(By the way – STC’s Nigel Summers – stop the blodclart complaining – Street Fighter V is a constantly updated game for these things to happen! It’s not like you gotta go out and buy a new game every time for £65… SHUDDUP!)

GRANT BODY-P! I hate millennials!

Elias new documentary came out! Have you watched it yet? NO? Neither have I don’t worry about it!

Walk With Elias out on iTunes… DON’T BUY THAT SH!T! Buy this instead…

Kool G rap 38 spesh

This is quality music. You think Bobby Lashley is into Kool G Rap?

Now we are ‘forced’ to watch the documentary live… this is like soundcloud muthaf***az running up my Facebook inbox telling me to check out their sh!t then I find its mumble rap!

GRANT BODY-P!

Lashley checked out the documentary! WOW! He did the work for me!

Hold up – I’m interested in the documentary that Lashley wants to direct! (No it doesn’t involve Ronda Rousey good try guys) Lashley just told them to film Elias getting BUSS ARSE!

I don’t usually pay attention to minor details such as this but it’s worth noting that last week, Apollo defeated Azam, but this week, Rezar defeated Titus O’Neill. Hmmm… ok that’s enough pondering.

OH SNAP!!!! NOW THAT’S GOOD! Right – B-Team & Revival were in a tag match, both legal members were looking for the tag – next minute the Wyatt Arts popped off and then you saw Matt Hardy on one end and Wyatt himself on the other end reaching their hand out for the tag!!!! NOW THAT IS ORIGINAL MIND GAMES! NEVER DONE BEFORE! Maximum props for creativity!

So glad Bobby Roode defeated Mojo Rawley… had he lost that match I’m not sure I could look him in the eye again! How embarrassing if a man came out all GLORIOUS acting like he’s GOD and then lost to some overhyped idiot!

GRANT BODY-P!

Kurt Angle giving maaaaad props to Ronda Rousey! But not Brock Lesnar!!! I’m still not down with this ‘work on your day off malarky’ but hey – ride out the storyline the internerds be on!

Oh dear I think Baron Corbin dropped himself in it here! Running his mouth talking sh1t to Kurt saying ‘you’re just the general manager, all you do is make matches…’

That made Kurt think right there!!! Kurt DOES make the matches! Double R Vs Baron Corbin! LET’S DO THIS!

But before that, let’s watch Sasha & Bayley fight the uglt Riott squad again! (Well they’re not that ugly really – but compared to Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville… I don’t care if Deville rides for the Lesbians – SHE WOULD GET IT!)

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh no! Ruby Riott is back in effect! She has come to teef! Who would have thought a talented wrestler uglier than Paige would emerge in Ruby Riott????

Can you believe Kevin Owens is STILL f**k!n with Braun Strowman even after Strowman f**ked him up so many times? I think I’d rather climb mountain than f**k with Strowman word up!

Jinder Mahal and his bredrin wants to f**k with him too! These guys actually want to see the box! You know the one where they lie in and the maggots feed on em while they rot into a skeleton?

If this Seth Rollins Vs Ziggler/Wackinytre feud doesn’t escalate then I’m not writing about this sh!t… don’t get me wrong – they will always put on great matches… but to go from Ironman to a match scheduled for one fall? F**K THAT!

Hahaha Double R was bussin up Corbin’s clart, Corbin was like – f**k this – and tried to walk away, only to be met by Finn Balor! Do you know who Balor is Corbin? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE DOES???!!!!

So The Kevin Owens Show segment happened BEFORE all that popped off! I thought as much, Jinder Mahal looked fresh…

OH NO! Braun is underneath the Kevin Owens Show stage?! He’s gonna tip it over! What makes rain hail snow and earthquakes???? BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUN!

Aaaah yes! This is what I’ve been waiting for! Ronda Rousey Vs Alicia Fox! with Alexa Blitch being TEEF on the outside!

Aaaah sheeeeeet – Alicia hasn’t read the news! When Ronda gets bex – THAT’S IT!

Alicia is getting twiss up in that ring star!!! Happy 10 year anniversary Alicia!

Rousey is like – ‘This is what’s gonna happen to your b!tch @$$ when mi finally ketch yuh!”

Alicia – tap out NOW before she applies that hold – OH TOO LATE!

Alexa looks worried! And so she should be!!! LIL’ BEEEEAAATCH!!!

Hold up – Alexa tried a cheap shot and it went wrong! DYAM ARSE!

Ok now we get serious… Paul Heyman breaks his silence about Brock Lesnar… the thumbnail shows a distraught looking Heyman… LET’S GO IN…

First of all – Renee Young…GUUUUUUURRRRRLLLL!!!

The man is in tears! OH NO! What did Brock doooooooo? Rape his wife in front of him? Slap up his kids?

GRANT BODY-P!

Heyman looks like the rehab centre is calling him! Dayuuuuum!

But he still believes that Roman Reigns has no chance against Brock! The man survived 5 F5’s… and got his head buss open…aaah man!

But Double R has something to say about all this!

Holy smokes – Roman Reigns said – FAMILY BUSINESS… he’s talking about the Samoan legacy through the ages of the World Wrestling Federation… ok this is next level…

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Monday Night Raw #1314, July 30, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I just wanna go on record and say – Brock Lesnar: I’m on your side! If my contract doesn’t require me to be at work on certain days… you think I’m gonna turn up on my days off? YOU CRAZY? If I was you, I would grab every dumb wrestling fan and take them to SUUUUUUPLEXXXX – CITTTTY!!!! As if they could take the Universal Championship from you anyway… the same title they claim to hate because of the design…

GRANT BODY-P!

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REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like…New Jack. Seriously people – what is wrong with that fool? Is his wife not giving him the pu$$y any more??? That goes for Sabu as well. If you got nothing good to say – simply put –

SEAN PRICE - STFU

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RAW 1314! On this day in 2015 my first niece Jamyla was born. What a celebration we had. All you can eat chinese buffet plus a marvellous birthday cake for the hyperactive wonder. Mi belly full now… let’s watch some of this wrestling sh!t!

Do you know what’s wrong with this picture? Mojo Rawley is talking down to all the jobbers in the locker room, and while they ARE technically jobbers now, they shouldn’t be… I’m talking about THE ASCENSION. Everybody remembers out good these muthaf***az were and how intimidating they were in NXT… now they are being talked down to by MOJO RAWLEY? Good thing Bobby Roode is about to talk sense into this fool!

Not that anybody noticed but the announce team are calling him ‘Apollo Crews’… remember there was a time when WWE locked off the CREWS part of the name because some idiot shot up a school or somewhere like that killing people and had that same name?

Just for the record – glad he won that match against Akam… sick of this dude losing and sh!t!

RECORD SKIP???! Elias just said he dropped the greatest album of all time? Has he gone KANYE on the WWE Universe??? I think he has!

Walk With Elias: the album – DON’T BUY THAT SH!T!!!

Maybe every week I shall recommend a new album you guys should buy! And starting this week, THE GRANT recommends this:

114425-supreme-blientele

WESTSIDE GUNN – SUPREME BLIENTELE! Plenty Wrestling references throughout this project!

And NO I’m not watching Walk With Elias The Documentary – F**K THAT! Ain’t nobody got time for that!

I know Elias did not just call THE ROCK a LOWLIFE????? Elias has done it now! One of these days… when Elias is in the ring talking sh!t… and then suddenly this music hits

Sounds like to me he wants a sound clash with The Rock on a guitar on RAW!!! Now THAT would be good!

In the meantime, it looks like Bobby Lashley is now relegated to feuding with Elias instead of fighting Brock Lesnar…

You can now complain on the internet but pass by The Rock’s twitter… he hasn’t responded to Elias as of yet but I’m sure he will soon!

While Wyatt & Hardy do battle with The Revival, The B-Team reveal that the B stands for – BANDWAGON… if you know the Infamous Informer a.k.a. Grant Body-P! You will know that I DON’T JUMP ON BANDWAGONS… otherwise I would be booing Roman Reigns, my favourite wrestler would be Cesaro (no disrespect to him because he is good) and my wresssssssstlinggggg GODDDDD would be CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM PUNK!

GRANT BODY-P!

Shout out to Charly Caruso…. OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Charly Caruso

Right I’m not sure how the sequence of events goes, because YouTube mixes up sh!t… so here we go…

As soon as Paul Heyman said ‘Tell me you heard what Roman said about you’… I knew I had to switch that clip off and find out what Mr Reigns had to say for himself…

Bobby Lashley gets props from Double R! VERY GOOD! Now please don’t clash again!

You notice when Double R was talking sh!t he quickly spun around just in case Brock was behind him? I think you might be a little bit scared big dog!

“This is not a prediction, it’s a spoiler…” Why isn’t that marketed on T-Shirts????

Roman vows to send Brock back to the UFC! Can he do that???

Do you think The Backwoodsman magazine will start coming off the shelves now that Brock is endorsing that sh!t? (Yo that title doesn’t sound too right… Backwoodsman?????)

GRANT BODY-P!

Brock just broke Heyman’s phone!!! Oh no!!! How is Heyman gonna phone his moms to tell her he will be late for dinner?

Just like that Brock went back to reading his magazine! FANTASTIC! I LOVE THIS DUDE!

Oh no! If Brock doesn’t go to the ring… Heyman’s WWE contract shut down! LOCK OFF! You know Kurt ain’t afraid – the man went to war with Brock at WrestleMania! Hell – he went 60 minutes with the dude on a random Smackdown! Don’t believe me? WWE Network costs £9.99 a month! Free for first month! GO FIGURE!

What’s that magazine now he’s reading? American Frontiersman??? Have you heard of these publications people? I’m just waiting for Brock to read The Source Magazine!

OH SH!T! Brock is riding this storyline out – I LOVE IT! He wants a steak, medium well, with a baked potato, and steamed brocoli!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I might try that myself!

SUPERB! DOES HE WANT COLLARD GREENS & CHEESE WITH THAT?

Uh-oh!!!! Heyman – where is Brock’s steak? Medium Well? Baked Potato? Steamed Brocoli???? Not even a snickers? He’s not himself when he’s hungry!

Brock and Paul are not friends!!! Clearly Brock hasn’t forgotten about Survivor Series 2002!!!!!

This is some bullsh!t for real! How is Double R gonna leave the building? No wonder he box down Baron Corbin! The little b!tch!

Ronda still has her hair braided! NOT GOOD! Next week on RAW she fights Alicia Fox! I’m sure it’s the 10 year anniversary of Alicia’s career now surely! I’m sure it was around this time when she debuted, she kissed up Edge, Vickie found out and then she summoned THE UNDERTAKER!

Corbin is going IN against Finn Balor! I think enough is enough… Balor has to send for the demon! Do you know who BALOR is Corbin??? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE DOES?????

See we talk about WWE should introduce the women’s tag titles, do you think that’s where this Bayley/Sasha storyline is TRULY heading? I just had that revelation as soon as I saw Sasha’s backstabber into the Bayley to Belly supermove… very ‘Sweet Chin Music into the Pedigree’ don’t you think people?

Can you believe that we just had an episode of RAW where Kevin Owens and Braun Strowman were NOT the showstealers of the night! I know right!!!

Oh man Kurt Angle is going IN about what a real champion does! Come on internerds – this is your qualm! They are using this as a storyline to benefit YOU! But you still complain because it’s Reigns… y’all know Reigns would be a real champion but noooooo – you want CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM P- GET OFF HIS D!CK!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH SH!T! Kurt has locked off Heyman!!! This is bad! I’m gonna miss him…first Ellsworth, now this?

NOW Brock wants to come out! He didn’t get his medium well steak! His baked potato! His steamed brocoli! Not a snickers, not a supermalt, NOTHING! This is a starving man you are dealing with now!

F5 to Kurt Angle – BLAOW!!!! Corbin used his brain – he left the ring! He’s like – f**k that!

Hold on! Brock got Paul!

Heyman just said he can’t breathe! (I could reference Police Brutality here but nah – f**k that…)

Moral of the story – GET THE MAN HIS FOOD!

snickers

 

 

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.

Monday Night Raw #1313, July 23, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Screenshot_2018-07-23 Stephanie McMahon ( StephMcMahon) Twitter

…and the guessing game has begun! I’m gonna end the speculation right now… it’s an all women’s PPV, it’s gonna drop October, and all proceeds go towards the Susan G Komen breast cancer awareness thing. SAVE THE T!TT!£$!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1313! On this day in 2012 RAW celebrated it’s 1000th episode. Everybody celebrated. Except me. “I wasn’t f**k!n there!!!!” (Arnold Schwarzenegger, End Of Days)

GRANT BODY-P!

But this time…I was THERE! Well… in my house watching the clip on YouTube that is… and I just had to see this announcement… let’s take a moment to marvel at Mickie James like – GOD DAYUUUUM!!!

Also every muthaf***a is present (apart from Brock Lesnar of course… and The Undertaker – who let’s face it… he could be 80 years old, we beg him for him to retire so he doesn’t end up like Sting, but when he appears we MARK THE F**K OUT!)

“Women, step forward… the men that stand behind you, I want you to know how much they REALLY support you…”

Yep – they REALLY support them alright! Especially from behind!

GRANT BODY-P!

Even Vincent Kennedy is there yo! You know this is big! This is straight CHING-CHING! in his pocket!

Great work cameraman! Checking out JoJo’s backside! THAT IS A BACKSIDE! So don’t tell me about Bayley or Alexa Blitch or any of them!!! (Apart from Naomi obviously – OHHHHHHH!)

Triple says it’s a joy watching them… he had to watch his words here… he said ‘some of us with a tear in our eye…’ he really means with his D HARD PEOPLE!

GRANT BODY-P!

Look at Vincent Kennedy’s face while Stephanie is talking! I’m sorry I can’t help but laugh here!

women-raw-wwe-evolution

50 WOMEN! THEN, NOW & FOREVER!!! YES! Looks like Trish, Lita, Victoria, Gail Kim (Hopefully) Layla (Pretty please??!!) AJ Lee (Hey you never know!) will have to draw back out their wrestling boots! You think Jacqueline, Ivory & Alundra Blayze have still got one match left in them too?

Sucks if you’re injured or pregnant now right?

GRANT BODY-P!

If you STILL feel the need to complain on the internet after this – YOU ARE THE PROBLEM – STEP THE F**K OFF – I’LL SLAP YOU LIKE BATMAN DID TO ROBIN – I’LL PUNCH YOU THROUGH SCHOOLBUSES & PIZZA SHOP WINDOWS! WITH YOUR NO PU$$Y ROMAN REIGNS OBSESSED FAT @$$!

The PPV is called EVOLUTION though! Surely I cannot be alone when I instantly thought of this…

…and then I then I thought of this…

It makes me wanna do a women’s wrestling tribute video! That’s my word! Hmmm….

Everybody’s happy about the new women’s PPV! Apart from one person – Baron Corbin…who is still hot at Finn Balor, so what does he do? Move his belongings to some stupid place and tells Balor he gotta face Drew Wackintyre, like Balor is supposed to be scared… I’m not scared of Wackintrye! So what says Balor?!

All is well between Sasha & Bayley again!!! Isn’t that wonderful?! Sorry fans, your obsession with stars ‘turning heel’ could not over come the love these women get from the kids!!!! Y’all want everyone to turn heel! What sort of stupidness is that?

Is that all the ‘sellotape’ they could provide for Kevin Owens after Braun Strowman chokeslammed his blodclart off the cage through the table? That muthaf***a should have ‘sellotape’ all over his body!

A wha de rarse? They sent Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL! To Braun to help him find inner peace? Ok RAW you’re falling off the rails now… but it is a segment with Braun… it’s bound to be funny!

I think Braun has the idea of inner peace! Close your eyes, breathe in breathe out, and say.. GET. THESE. HANDS…!!!

Braun is like the new ‘Austin’ isn’t he? By that I mean you know it’s coming when somebody about to get buss arse and when it happens it is magic everytime!

I know Mickie James hasn’t dressed up like a sexy power ranger only to lose to Natalya??

Haha Alexa Blitch tried to TEEF and she got met with a mean discus clothesline from Natalya! Gwarn girl!

Nattie gets back in the ring only to get kick down by Mickie – BLAOW! 1, 2 and…3! NICE!

What is this? Authors of Pain and Titus Worldwide – CHATTING? Remember back in the days when Eric Bischoff used to say ‘you got 3 MINUTES’ to get out of my ring? but 3 seconds later you BUSS ARSE by Rosey & Jamal? Aaaah… good times…

Good to see Titus though whoop @$$ in his Gareth Southgate waistcoat though! And his tie not out-of-place!

Seth Rollins Vs Dolph Ziggler to clash again at the Summerslam joint! But they had an ironman match though! It can’t be a normal match after that surely? (Caling for ladders!)

Elias says his album is gonna change my life forever… sorry Elias – that already happened in 1997 (Wu-Tang Forever) and again in 2000 (Supreme Clientele)!

Who the hell is O.A.R.??? Have I gotta google these fools?

Oh my god the album really exists! You can get it on iTunes & Spotify! The question remains – will it sell more than John Cena’s album???

Wait a minute – TEEEEEEEEF! Hold on! Braun & Kevin Owens to clash at Summerslams! But here’s the twist – the Money In the Bank briefcase is on the line! OH NO! Stephanie gave Owens the match, he was gonna hug her then realised who she was! You think that would have stopped me???

GRANT BODY-P!

Samantha Simon & Karen Lundy? I must be watching WWF Livewire! Let me take a good look at these women… they may have potential…

Oh dear their bright hair didn’t help them… is it me or are we just waiting for either Sasha or Bayley to put their head through a car window?

Now I heard about this before I hit play on YouTube… I knew there was a catch with this whole women’s ppv thing… it was a negotiation! ‘Give the fans what they want… under one condition – I want Roman Reigns to go to Summerslam!!!’

LET THE COMPLAINING ON THE INTERNET BEGIN!

But WAIT! I gotta big up my co-host Shadfather on the JAMMS Podcast… he predicted it exactly how it’s going down – YES Double R is going to Summerslam… but Bobby Lashley already has a case! Therefore… this will end up being a Triple Threat situation!

In closing, after Stephanie’s announcement, there was almost no point watching RAW! Don’t get me wrong – it was good, but in a week from now everything will be forgotten about outside of Stephanie and the women’s PPV…

 

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Monday Night Raw #1312, July 16, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Why are we surprised?

HH N

This is what I support! A company which seemingly gets away with stereotypical values, claims to be all patriotic and all that… we have to remember something wrestling fans, Vincent Kennedy and Donald Trump are BREDRIN!

GRANT BODY-P!

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kolinda-1531718898

Poor Mbappe! He’s like – ‘lawwwwwd – this woman is gonna rape me! Hey I’m flattered but – you got a daughter??? Actually never mind – I’ve seen what happens on pornhub!!!’

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RAW 1312! OK WWE stop f**k!n about! It’s all about SUMMERSLAM!!!

Remember now – this YouTube sh!t is not in order… I don’t watch live anymore…

Braun Strowman actually has regret! he regrets not congratulating Kevin Owens on his win at the Extreme Rules joint! That was the closest those wrestling muthaf***az will get to ‘wanting the attitude era back!’

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m not even gonna click the link on Mojo Rawley Vs Tyler Breeze…NEXT!

Bobby Roode Vs Dolph Ziggler – this isn’t for the intercontinental title is it?

Holy smokes! Mike Cole thought it was over, Corey Graves thought it was over and so did the coach, even I thought it was over! Ziggler hit the Zig Zag, Roode looked f**ked! 1, 2 and….Roode got the shoulder up!

Ziggler got him eventually though… no Drew Wackintyre around either…

How can Roode ‘think he’s god’ when he loses every week?

WHAT? Is that Alicia Fox I see on the telly? Holy crap on a cracker – IT IS!

Considering Sasha & Bayley are not friends again, Sasha ain’t letting Dana or Alicia beat Bayley up!

Shall I click on The B-Team Vs The Ascension? Decisions, Decisions!!! It’s three minutes long… there has bound to be some storyline here…

F**k it  – I don’t like the B Team, but you guys do so… let’s go in!

The Revival still looking on!!!! It’s time for WWE stop f**k!n about because Dash & Dawson – these guys are talented as f**k…

If Wyatt & Matt Hardy want to delete these fools… they should do it RIGHT… Stop this in-ring action crap and take it to ULTIMATE DELETION! Stop saying DELETE if you’re not gonna do it right guys!

Titus Worldwide Vs The Authors of Pain again??? Nah I’m not clicking this link. sorry guys!

But I will click on Sarah Logan Vs Ember Moon though…

Dayuuuuuuuuum Ember Moon’s attire though!!! Look at those TICK THIGHS! Her Wrestling panties struggling to cover her butt cheeks! Me & Ember Moon can be on some midnight marauders!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Words from the wise – NEVER defeat Ember Moon by underhanded tactics! Did you see the look on Ember’s face? Or more importantly – her contacts? I’m telling you now – if this was attitude era…Sarah Logan and Liv Morgan would have suffered a blood bath by now!

Debra bloodbath

Screenshot_2018-07-17 (2) Twitter

How about…ah….NAH??!!!!

Oh no! Elias drops new album July 23? Now I know NOT to go out and buy that sh!t!

You think it’s gonna be a 7-track affair produced by Kanye West????

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a second – Sasha loves Bayley???? YES! Now Sasha… get in Bayley’s tongue! LET’S GO!

(what was that about Sasha/Bayley turning heel? Once again wrestling fans are the experts!)

Let’s talk about these triple threat matches? It looks like to me, the winner of both matches face each other next week, then the winner of that faces Brock Lesnar right?

Dayuuuum Finn Balor is straight beating down Double R with the steel chair! This will make the haters happy surely!

Holy smokes! Balor was dropping straight knees to Wackintyre, then sees Double R coming, moves out the way – Reigns with a spear to Wackintyre – BLAOW!!! No way can Wackintyre recover now surely?

After Claymores and Coup De Grace… it was Double R’s Violent Spear that got him the victory…. yo that was crazy!

In the other match, Lashley is straight killing Elias & Rollins with his power moves!

Now Elias & Rollins find themselves combining their force to take out Lashley, but only one can advance!

That has to be my favourite move of Rollins – the Superplex into the Falcon arrow – was that in last year’s game? I don’t recall!

Rollins burns it down and hits the curb stomp to Elias – BLAOW! Here’s the cover! 1, 2 and…Lashley stops that sh!t!

Lashley goes to charge at Rollins, finds the ringpost instead, Seth rolls him up! 1, 2 and…nope!!! Seth kicks him down, sets him up, Elias intervenes, only to be met with Lashley’s spear – BLAOW! We got Reigns Vs Lashley II next week! That’s how it’s going!

Holy smokes – Mickie James!!!! She got pum-pum shorts on! Nah that woman needs a good f**k! Her man ain’t doin’ it right!

GRANT BODY-P!

Since when did Ronda Rousey become a one woman Shield? She’s coming down the stairs! Alexa gonna get f**ked up!

Rousey’s head top is braided! You know what that means!!! Alexa nuh read the news!

Here we go! Mickie & Alexa running for the hills!

Mickie nearly had her arm broken! LAWWWWWWWD!

Rousey is like – I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!

She took out three officials plus Mickie and Alexa! SHE WANTS TO KILL!

Kurt put an extra week on Ronda’s suspension! Baron Corbin gonna snitch to Stephanie! But he can’t find his phone! Has he tried the lobby? Somebody call his phone – that usually works!

Kurt got his phone!!! It might be a good idea to break that muthaf***a Kurt!

Oh no! Ronda MUST conform! That’s if she wants the Women’s championship at Summerslams!!! Ronda it’s only one week!!! Hold it down girl! Alexa doesn’t like that sh!t! Well tough t1tt!£$!

Now I’m guessing that this was the first segment, but I’m gonna talk about it last if you don’t mind!

I don’t know why wrestling fans be getting all hot and bothered about Brock not showing up and sh1t, I didn’t know you muthaf***az actually cared about the Universal Championship!

Kurt was gonna strip Brock of the title!

WHOAWHOAWHOAWHAOAHOWHAOAHWOWHOAWHAO!!!!!!! PAUL HEYMAN YOU ARE A FUNNY MUTHAF***A!

What Brock Lesnar wants to do, is represent the WWE Universe, by challenging for the UFC Heavyweight Title WITH the WWE Universal Championship around his waist! I can ride to that but he gotta show up and defend more! He’s not afraid of the likes of Elias, Seth Rollins, Drew Wackintyre surely? This is a man (or beast) who has been at war with The Undertaker…. he can’t be sweating whoever is back there? Even Braun Strowman! Braun looks up to the Undertaker for Pete’s sake!

Don’t you love when Heyman feels threatened, he always says this – ‘I’m just an advocate’!!

It’s soon time for me to start putting together the SmackTalkCentre Summerslam gathering promo video…..but before that… let’s throw up a pic of that Croatian president… she would GET IT STILL!

Croatian President

GRANT BODY-P!

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Monday Night Raw #1311, July 9, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

THIS FOOL!

Andrew thompson fool

Imagine! This fool woke up out of his bed to air out this sh!t.. in case you haven’t heard, Brock Lesnar suddenly appeared at UFC and caused a bit of ruckus with Daniel Cormier. I respect Brock’s gangsta, if I wanted to make history and become WWE & UFC Champion at the same time… WHY NOT? I don’t know when this fight will happen, and wrestling fans – NEITHER DO YOU, so stop with the fake UFC posters… Vince McMahon is NO FOOL – IT’S ALL ABOUT THE MONAAAAY!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1311! You don’t mind if I throw up a picture of Lacey Evans for no reason do you? This woman is sexy as f**k… in the most classy way! Cannot wait to see her on main roster in the future!

Straight off the jump! Loving this! Lashley stepped up to Double R like – go to your yard and call me out. But I ain’t coming to talk sh!t! THIS IS GOOD!!!! Did you see the smile on Double R’s face? He’s like – THAT’S WHAT’S UP!

And that’s exactly what Double R did!!!

“Hold on a second!!!” No Kurt!!! Let em go at it!

Double R & Lashley is like – NAH – F**K THAT!!!

WOOOOOOOOIIIIIII!

It’s another one of those ‘I’m gonna kill you!/You’re gonna have to!’ segments!

You mean to tell me the combined might of The Authors Of Pain are not enough to hold Double R & Lashley back? Are you serious right now? They are built like 2 double-decker buses and sh!t!

WOOOOOOOOIIIII! Roman Reigns ran the ropes one side, come back the other side, and leapt over like 30 superstars including Lashley! That’s the Undertaker move right there! And you idiots say Undertaker cannot pass the torch to him at MSG? You are more stupid than I thought!

GRANT BODY-P!

Dayuuuum Mickie is that your attire? OWWWWWWWWWW! WWE2K19 sort it out!!!

Too bad she got buss arse big time though!

That dutty gyal Alexa Blitch beating Nia with the Kendo stick! Nia look like she was in pain but next minute she caught the stick like ‘yeah I gave you power… I made you buck wild… HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW!’

Where’s No Way Jose’s massive and crew? They should be there ready to rush Mojo Rawley and beat out his blodclart!

Jose lose again… deary me… you mean the WWE brought this dude up from NXT to be a JOBBER?

Now you got my attention! I shall put my name down and so I can play as Ronda Rousey! I knew Rey Mysterio wasn’t enough! But I gotta put my name down for Soul Calibur VI though… I best get me a J.O.B.! Either that or win the lottery…

I think WWE heard you guys running them down about the small promos the superstars do with big words appearing on screen..looks like they stopped that sh!t – instead I have to see Alexa’s ugly face talk sh1t about Nia…

Yeah I said it! Decent body, ugly facial features, plastered in foundation. Yeah you think you’re in heaven having sex with Alexa but when you wake up in the morning to see what Alexa REALLY looks like you be like – JEEEESAAAAAAAS CHRISSSSSST!

GRANT BODY-P!

So is this Hardy/Wyatt/BTeam beef not leading to an ultimate deletion? I think the boat might be missed here… I’m no longer interested…the PPV is Extreme Rules and an Ultimate Deletion fits that mold… SMH!

AH LIE!!! Is Seth Rollins tryna say that Drew Wackintyre likes to have sex with sheep??? Extreme Rules 2018And there are photographs of that sh1t? I DON’T WANNA SEE THAT! NARSTY MUTHAF***A!

Oh no! Bobby Lashley doesn’t like or respect Double R! Right up the haters alley right? I call this the forbidden match… yet so excited to see it!

Has Trish Stratus been teaching Liv Morgan the matrix move? Very impressive when fighting Ember Moon of all people!

Mike Cole: “Why do you have a blue tongue?”

Liv Morgan: “Because I like the colour blue dummy…”

THE GRANT SAYS… Maybe she likes oral sexual activities with the smurfs????

OH MY GAWWWWWD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Kevin Owens seems to be in one piece after cleaning toilets last week!!!

Kevin is scared for his life because of Braun and Kurt Angle is deddin!!!

Maybe he isn’t in one piece! He got a doctor’s note! At least he’s following company policy!

OH NO! I don’t think the doctor’s note covers him for Sunday! He has to fight Braun in a steel cage! And there’s no Sami Zayn to help him!

Best get an ambulance on the ready!

So wait a minute.. if Seth could beat Wackintyre, then Wackintyre would be banned from ringside during the Ironman match… It didn’t work out too well… but Seth… don’t you have  a friend who can back you at ringside too??? You know, that dude who gets in Renee Young’s panties on a regular???????

GRANT BODY-P!

Now if you excuse me, France Vs Belgium is on (at time of this blog…) If I was INN-GLUNN… I would want France to win… because they failed to beat Belgium! And Belgium are my picks to win the whole sh!t!

YEAH I SAID IT!

Oh yeah… that pic of that Lacey chick…with her Grand National looking @$$..

Lacey evans

 

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Monday Night Raw #1308, June 18, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

DAYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!

Nikki Bella victoria secret

Nikki, you make me wish you were on the rebound!!!! I can’t be a husband, I can give you babies, they would be smart & beautiful! Good thing they won’t turn out ugly like Dolph Ziggler!

GRANT BODY-P!

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I can see you idiots like – ‘American Bad Ass’ confirmed! YOU FOOL!

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RAW 1308! BOOKER-T IS MY NEW HERO!

Remember – I’m going by what YouTube tells me… so let’s get into it!

All Brock has to do is show up… the moment he does…. BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!! But Brock ain’t afraid of anybody… is he???

Kevin Owens wants to offer congratulations! He has no choice – he can’t manage Braun! Not many can!

“At WrestleMania, when you needed a tag partner, you had to go in the crowd, and pick a 10-year-old kid…” Er Kevin… that was the point! Braun was saying he didn’t need anybody! And that’s the truth!

What is Kevin Owens up to??!!! I cannot figure it out right now!

Looks like Kevin sealed the deal! he doesn’t wanna get brukk up anymore! You think this will save him?

Strowman was gonna drop Owens with that powerslam! But Owens get life!!!

Has Jinder Mahal.. JINDER MAHAL!! Found tranquility? Inner Peace? Seems so… he defeated Chad Gable (poor soul) and felt enlightenment!

Has the B-Team become woken?? Nice touch by Bo Dallas pretending to be Wyatt… GEDDIT?

Wow! You mean Elias is actually gonna sing a full song without getting interrupted?

Dayuuum nuff WWE Superstars got that sellotape on em right? Sheeeeeeeeet WTF they be doin? Cesaro set the trend and everybody follow fashion!

Oh dear… Sasha & Bayley have started their sh!t again… these two just need some good ol’ scissor action! Either that or the tongue!

GRANT BODY-P!

Double R could have waited until Kurt Angle addressed the Brock Lesnar situation! But wait! He’s not a good guy or a bad guy is he? He does what he wants when he wants! Sounds like somebody else we all love and adore! But that’s none of my business…

Uh-oh! Bobby Lashley is chiming in! Now this is good!!! Peeople do wanna see Lashley and Brock clash! My thing is… Braun has the briefcase… so it’s like… that black champion dream could be derailed…

So this is how it’s going! Kurt is gonna announce a multi person match for Extreme Rules… winner fights Brock at the Summerslams… as much as I want it to be Lashley… Braun has the briefcase… now – I’m all for Braun being champion… but I’d rather him cash it on anyone BUT Lashley you feel me?

Now, by doing the knowledge, those multi people could be Elias, Seth Rollins and Finn Balor… Finn NEVER lost the title. Elias just sung a song about Brock… and Seth… well I’ll get to him later!

Meanwhile The Revival are about to get dissed again as they go up against Bobby Lashley and Double R! This is not right WWE!!! The Revival is a wicked team! Why You Do This?

Check it – Lashley hit the Revival with a spear – BLAOW! That’s Double R’s super move! Well true say Lashley did it from marnin though…

Now remember why I said Seth Rollins gonna be in that match? Here’s why – he just lost his intercontinental title to a pink leggings wearing Dolph Ziggler! He can invoke his rematch clause all he wants – Drew Wackintyre will be there as well…

So essentially, Baron Corbin is the new ‘Corporate Kane’…. by that I mean – he now wrestles in his shirt and trousers! And he won as well against Finn Balor! HOLY SMOKES!

So we come to the real issue at hand… Alexa Blitch… look at her talking down to Ronda Rousey! Y’all wonder why I can’t stand Alexa! Said it before I’ll say it again – I’d get my sister to f**k her up!

This is the Ronda Rousey I like! That chick who gets bex! She just gone GHETTO GYAL on Alexa! And she attacked Kurrrrrrrrrrrrrt! OH MY GOD NOT KUUUUUUUUUUUUUURT!!

Ronda Rousey – powerbombed Alexa Blitch through the table – BLAOW!!!

Oh dear, Kurt just suspended Ronda! But in 30 days… Alexa goose COOK!!! I think we are seeing the Summerslam storyline! Ronda has gone to hone her skills! My dream came true once already when Naomi whupped Alexa’s @$$… but this time Ronda can do it! KILL THE B!TCH!

 

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Monday Night Raw #1310, July 2, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

LIFE IS GOOD!

Germany are out of the World Cup because they are b!tches, the Wimbledon start and the women are running around the court with their little tennis skirts on showing their little panties…and my mixtape has dropped!

Sun is shining, women are looking sexy, and we still have internerds complaining about wrestling!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1310! Let me get my coffee y’all, or should I get my Rockstar Energy Drink????

The first thing me hear is that Dolph Ziggler and Seth Rollins have an Iron Man match (30 minute) at the Extreme Rules joint… I hear some of you talking about ‘1 hour iron man match…’ but weren’t you the same muthaf***az who complain about the PPVs being too long? To I say this to you internerds…

SEAN PRICE - STFU

Wait a minute – Shayna Blayzer – what is she doing on RAW backstage??? Ooooooh the Summerslam storyline is prepped folks!!!!!

This whole thing with The Shield (Minus Ambrose) and Ziggler & Wackintyre makes me more and more convinced that Bobby Lashley is the one who is going to Summerslam to fight Lesnar (don’t let the dirt sheets and that stupid WrestleTalk show fool you) The whole ‘Lesnar derailing plans bullsh!t is ALL STORYLINE.’ It’s the Summerslam Storyline! I’m not buying any of that sh!t!

Oh no not Dr Shelby???? Ok this sh1t worked for Danny Bryan & Kane but how the rarse is this gonna work?

Why are Wyatt & Hardy allowing this foolishness to continue with The B Team? I have said for weeks now – SEND FOR THE ULTIMATE DELETION! Until that time I will speak NO MORE about this!

It hurts my brain to see such a talented brother in Apollo Crews, doing what he does in the ring, knowing full well that either he or Titus will eat the pin from the Authors of Pain… no shame in losing to them but it’s like yo… these guys should be serious contenders and sh!t!

“Suck up your PRIDE, give me respect and apologise…”

Really Baron Corbin? You gonna use the word PRIDE to a guy who’s T-shirt makes a positive impact and support to the LGBT community???

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a minute I don’t understand this – if The Revival beat Roman Reigns & Bobby Lashley last week, why are they still tryna beat down Reigns during his match with Rollins Vs Wackintyre and Ziggler?

(Oh I forgot… I’m catching up on YouTube and they don’t put sh!t in order!)

See right here with the combined force of Revival, Wackintyre & Ziggler – could summon the return of Dean Ambrose… hmmm… am I on to something here???

Meanwhile at this anger management sh1t… this to me is just a way to delay creative’s decision on who turns evil out of Bayley & Sasha – I dun told you jabronies neither have turned heel – it’s just a Bayley Vs Sasha situation… THAT’S IT! You know like it was for Brock Vs Undertaker back in 2015?

You know what – I don’t think Dr Shelby can handle these two, word up! He managed to get a ‘goat looking guy’ and a ‘monster who sets things on fire’ to hug but these two women gonna make him wear straight jacket by next week surely!

I got nothing much to say about Ember Moon Vs Liv Morgan apart from two things – 1 – Liv Morgan sold that Total Eclipse move like a BOSS and 2 – God DAYUUUUUUM Ember you fine! In fact f**k that – where’s that Alex Scott chick?

SPORT-PREVIEW-alex-scott

IDGAF – This woman is EVERY FOOTBALL FAN’S DREAM if you don’t fancy this woman – I’m telling you now – you sir are GAY!

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m a firm believer in one on one but this Mojo Rawley is a reptile – the whole of No Way Jose’s crew should rush this muthaf***a and beat out his blodclaaat!

Oh no! Extreme Rules match between Nia Jax and Alexa Blitch! Alexa’s pretty face is gonna get ruined….!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! KILL HER! KILL THE B!TCH! Ronda Rousey gonna be ringside too? TAKE MY MONEY!

See Bobby Lashley claims Roman Reigns would not be THE GUY if Lashley was here during the 10 years, well THE GRANT SAYS – neither would you Lashley… you know why? Lets be real – BECAUSE YOU’RE BLACK!!!! Vincent Kennedy might as well be that dude in that ‘I’m not racist’ video!

Oh dear! Double R is not being professional! Lashley’s intentions are good but Double R is having none of it! Remember boys and girls, he’s not a good guy or a bad guy is he?

..and because of Roman’s ignorance, he would rather get buss arse by The Revival than tag in Bobby Lashley… WOW!

You know I gotta save the best for last right? Braun Strowman Vs Kevin Owens… I’m guessing Kevin must have taken the train or something to get to work because he got no car now!

Kevin Owens car

Hang on – Kevin is running away? But his shirt says FIGHT ANYONE!!! Er….

Kevin is hiding in the toilet? Why would he do that? Is that his way of saying ‘he’s sh1ttin himself?’

OH NO! Braun disguised his voice and Kevin Owens got ketch! Now Braun is taping up the toilet! This is shades of Austin and Goldust surely?

Kevin Owens is like ‘ NO PLEASE!!!! ‘ I’m deddin already!!!

I guess Braun is gonna show mercy! Kevin doesn’t deserve this!

“You still in there Kevin???”

That has to be the lyric of the night! Don’t you get the joke? He locked Kevin in there all that time! Kevin can’t move!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

BRAUN TOOK A RUN UP! AND CHARGED HIMSELF INTO THE PORTABLE TOILET OFF THE STAGE!!! KEVIN IS PROBABLY DEAD BY NOW!!!!

I’M DUN!!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH!!!

ROFL

THERE’S PEOPLE IN THERE!!! THERE’S PEOPLE IN THERE!!!!!!!

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Monday Night Raw #1309, June 25, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Last week I found out that The Infamous Informer weekly blog is 4th in the top UK wrestling blogs according to feedspot.com… for that I wanna take this time to thank everyone who has supported me over the last seven years with this wrestling sh!t… I have cussed your favourite wrestler, written about sexual fantasies over your favourite female wrestler (apart from Paige and Alexa) and you continued to f**k with me. I SALUTE YOU. Maybe you sympathise with me when I cuss certain internerds!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1309! There are three wrestling bloggers better than me… I am gunning for that ‘#1 spot like Ludacris!!!!

So here I am, 5:53am, I couldn’t sleep, the hot weather got the best of me. Half an hour prior to that, I woke up, Naomi was not appearing in my dreams, so I thought, I might as well wake up, scroll my Facebook news feed (as you do) grab a coffee, and see what happened in the World Wrestling Federation.

Clearly this was not the first segment, but this is the first clip YouTube is showing me. Call the Ambulance to pick up Rich & Rex Gibson to pick up the people… put their bodies on the stretcher carry their @$$ out!

Realistically I think Titus and Apollo Crews CAN test the Authors of Pain… but storyline dictates they will only get killed!

Notice the Authors of Pain find themselves back om TV now that SAnitY find themselves on Smackdown…

I find it hard to worship somebody who is so ‘badmind’, and has no manners..so with that said – F**K ALEXA BL!TCH!

GRANT BODY-P!

But I will give credit where credit is due – she countered the fans saying ‘WHAT?’! Very good! Personally, I like the WHAT? chant… but yes it does get annoying. They tried that only ONCE with The Undertaker – didn’t turn out too well…

Shout out to Jamie Lannister….

GRANT BODY-P!

Natalya comes out here on some ‘Time is a precious commodity’ sh!t… remember that storyline when Eric Bischoff had 30 days to turn RAW around? It’s like that with Alexa because in 23 days … Ronda comes back.. and when she does… THAT’S IT!

In the meantime, Alexa Vs Natalya, with Mickie in Alexa’s corner, and Nia Jax in Natalya’s corner… gotta say – Natalya is looking FYYYNE AS A MUTHAF***A!

Hold up!!!! Natalya just made Alexa tap out!!! WHOA! NEW #1 Contender surely! Nia don’t you see what is happening here?

Mojo Rawley thinks he’s the big he-man picking on Todd the Cheeseburger right? Just like that – Todd is over with the crowd… I’m sitting here waiting for the inevitable memes of him being more over than Roman Reigns… GET A LIFE INTERNERDS!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

As soon as Mojo turned his back, if I was Todd The Cheeseburger, I would have kicked him in his d!ck!

Shout out to STC’s Nicola Hardwick…

The B-team want to continue this charade! I’m calling for a FINAL DELETION word up! Stop this foolishness RIGH… wait there… Extreme Rules…. HMMM!!!

Hold on!!! Bray & Matt give B-Team ratings!!! Y’all know they are plotting the Final deletion!

Ok let’s get serious for a minute! Did Roman Reigns just come with a KILLER LYRIC THERE?

“10 years ago, you wanted to be a big MMA Star, and how did that work out huh? You made a REAL BIG ‘IMPACT’…” You think John Cena ghostwritten that lyric for Double R???

GRANT BODY-P!

Er what? Roman Reigns wants to main event WrestleMania 5 times in a row???? Oooh the internerds are not gonna like that!!!!

SWITCH! Kurt Angle said there will NOT be a multi-man match at Extreme Rules!!! Uh-Oh – you think creative changed up sh!t?

“Brock Lesnar doesn’t care about….blah blah blah… in fact, Brock does not give a sh-” ROMAN REIGNS YOUR LANGUAGE!!!

“(Brock’s) tired of seeing your face, just like all these people are…” – GUNSHOT! I think the women would disagree but that’s another story! Bobby Lashley got lyrics too!

DOLPH ZIGGLER VS SETH ROLLINS! THIS IS THE REMATCH! WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP!

Once again a great back and forth contest! Is that Drew Wackintyre I see about to f**k this up?

That he has… muthaf***a!!! One day somebody gonna come kick his @$$!

YES! That person might just be Roman Reigns!!!! KICK HIS F**K!N @$$!

Spear to Ziggler – BLAOW! Ziggler sold that like a boss!

Man Double R is getting all the TV time isn’t he! I’m guessing this is to make up for the minimal TV time he had last week or the week before! He & Lashley fight The Revival again…I think the Revival should change their name – to The Dead & Buried!

YES I USED THE B-WORD!

HOLD UP!!! The Revival just took advantage of the 1upsman ship of Lashley & Reigns – used a distraction roll up and Reigns got pinned!!! The internerds are gonna celebrate like England buss up Panama 6-1!!!!

WHOA!!!! Bayley has gone OFF on Sasha! Holy smokes! Crowd chanting for Bayley crazy! PIC_0041Guys – I’m not taking it as a heel vs face thing here – that’s out the window – the only way for sure is their promos. If either Bayley or Sasha cusses the crowd… THEN YOU KNOW.

Honestly god everything Strowman does – it’s like the Terminator – every time you see him or T-1000 on-screen it’s like the music follows them… his music should be playing EVERY TIME he’s on-screen!

Wait a second – Braun & Kevin Owens are on the same team? Balor & Corbin on the same team? What is this bizarro land?

Kevin Owens tried the Braun technique of running around the ring – he knocked over Balor but was not so lucky against Corbin!

That was an out-of-order tag by Corbin wasn’t it? He clapped Balor in his head!

OH NO! Balor kicked down Corbin! I should bloody think so!

Hahahahah! The official is counting the guys out and Kevin Owens is counting along with him! That’s cool!

Oh dear I think Kevin Owens did something wrong! He tek foot and run garne!!! Does he realise Braun can run as well?

Kevin is tryna get the f**k outta there!!!

OH NO! Braun has Kevin’s car keys!!! This is bad! Look at Braun’s face!

“Here’s your keys! I hope you got insurance, because there’s you car!” What a nice man Braun is! He gave Kevin his keys!

OH NO! THE CAR MASH UP!!!! SEE THIS IS THE PART WHERE KEVIN OWENS IS THAT DUDE ON FINAL FIGHT AND SAYS ‘OH MY CAR’!!!!

OH MY CAR

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Voted in the top four wrestling blogs.

Monday Night Raw #1307, June 11, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Since y’all muthaf***az are not watching the World Wrestling Federation Live because of E3, I’m not watching it live either! I’m not watching E3 either… I GOTTA BETTER THINGS TO DO! Every year the same muthaf***a pops up in my FB inbox like ‘you watching E3’? THE GRANT SAYS – F**K E3! I’M NOT THAT GUY! That gaming aspect of me, getting excited over video games… it died a lonnnnnnnnng time ago!

GRANT BODY-P!

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REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like…CM PRINCESS PEACH B!TCH! Yes he won the lawsuit… but that don’t mean sh!t! He got buss arse in the octagon AGAIN. Dana White is locking him off, and Corey Graves ran down his clart! F**K CM PRINCESS PEACH B!TCH! You may have respect for him, BUT I DON’T!

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RAW 1307! COREY GRAVES IS MY NEW HERO!

Screenshot-2018-6-12 Corey Graves ( WWEGraves) TwitterScreenshot-2018-6-12 Corey Graves ( WWEGraves) Twitter(1)Screenshot-2018-6-12 Corey Graves ( WWEGraves) Twitter(2)

YEAH CALM THE F**K DOWN INTERNERDS!!! I’m gonna use that!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m guessing this is how RAW & Smackdowns gonna start, with ladders in the ring and muthaf***az arguing about who is winning this sh!t…

BUMBACLAAAAAT LOOK AT BARON CORBIN HEADTOP! Did I miss a hair vs hair match or something?

Kevin Owens giving me joke! Saying Braun is too damn big!!!!

Even Alexa Blitch is giving me joke! That was a great line I admit!

“Y’all sounding like the Real Housewives of WWE!”

Did you see Braun’s face when Alexa says he’s gonna win? He was like ‘yeah you’re gonna get this d!ck’!

GRANT BODY-P!

OMG look at Breezango… getting more and more cumse-cumsa! What the f**k is all this frilly sh!t going on? I’m no fan of Ziggler & Wackintye, but I hope they buss up their clart!

Nice to see Roman Reigns smiling! Probably because he knows the WWE are editing out the boos for YouTube!

The Grant Says The B Team might be doing their thing… but I hope they get deleted!!! If Hardy & Wyatt can send for the lake of reincarnation and throw those B Team muthaf**az in there… then they can be one big happy family! Especially for Bo Dallas & Wyatt!

So the Riott Squad are going to start taking black lipstick and branding their opponents after they beat them down? Very NWO-ish don’t you think?!!!

You know what – let’s throw a pic of this woman… FOR NO REASON!

Mandy Rose

HOLY SMOKES THOSE BREASTS THOUGH!!!! Even the top she got on is saying – GOD DAYUUUUUUUUUUM!

WTF does Curt Hawkins have on? That’s some cumse-cumsa sh!t too! I’m glad No Way Jose boxed him down like that! 0-201 now muthaf***a! You lucky this ain’t UFC! You lose twice and that’s it – you’re GONE!

GRANT BODY-P!

The question remains – who was that long black-haired girl in the No Way Jose parade?

Wait a minute – has Sami Zayn brought the Stone Cold Steve Austin Skullbuster to WWE? There’s even a bell at the end of the rope climb!

Sami Zayn’s Skullbuster was SAWFT! Lashley knocked it out in less than a minute! Zayn didn’t like that sh!t so what does he do? Assault Lashley!

Elias just told me RAW was in Little Rock Arkansaw! Not really a ‘wrestling crowd’ is it?

Look at that – it’s a custom – made guitar for when Elias wins the Intercontinental joint at Money In The Bank! Did my dude Askem paint that for you?

Oh no! Rollins just noticed the Custom made guitar! Crowd be like – BURN IT DOWN! So why doesn’t Rollins do just that? Light a match and burn that muthaf***a? But I suppose stamping on it works just as well…

Money In the Bank 2018

Ooooooh it looks like Ronda Rousey has improved on her mic skills! She has put in serious time down there at the performance center! SHE IS RONDA ROUSEY! AND SHE IS BORN READY!

She wasn’t ready for that headbutt from Nia though!

Ronda sending for the arm bar! Nia trying to block! Can Ronda get it? YES!!! NIA WAS TAPPING LIKE A BEEEEEATTTCH! HOLY SMOKES!

Bobby Roode, Kevin Owens and Finn Balor combing their force to take Braun Strowman out the game! I got a bad feeling about this!

Kevin Owens with a frog splash off the top of the ladder to Strowman through a table – BLAOW!

And even with those super moves, Braun STILL got up!!!!

Hit Owens with the Running Powerslam on the ladder – BLAOW! One, Two and…. THREE!

This one didn’t end in me deddin on the floor, But I know who will be deddin – VIRGIN MEDIA if I don’t pay those bills!

GRANT BODY-P!

 

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.