Category Archives: The Infamous Informer

WWE Wrestling Blog by the man from Northampton.

Monday Night Raw #1310, July 2, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

LIFE IS GOOD!

Germany are out of the World Cup because they are b!tches, the Wimbledon start and the women are running around the court with their little tennis skirts on showing their little panties…and my mixtape has dropped!

Sun is shining, women are looking sexy, and we still have internerds complaining about wrestling!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1310! Let me get my coffee y’all, or should I get my Rockstar Energy Drink????

The first thing me hear is that Dolph Ziggler and Seth Rollins have an Iron Man match (30 minute) at the Extreme Rules joint… I hear some of you talking about ‘1 hour iron man match…’ but weren’t you the same muthaf***az who complain about the PPVs being too long? To I say this to you internerds…

SEAN PRICE - STFU

Wait a minute – Shayna Blayzer – what is she doing on RAW backstage??? Ooooooh the Summerslam storyline is prepped folks!!!!!

This whole thing with The Shield (Minus Ambrose) and Ziggler & Wackintyre makes me more and more convinced that Bobby Lashley is the one who is going to Summerslam to fight Lesnar (don’t let the dirt sheets and that stupid WrestleTalk show fool you) The whole ‘Lesnar derailing plans bullsh!t is ALL STORYLINE.’ It’s the Summerslam Storyline! I’m not buying any of that sh!t!

Oh no not Dr Shelby???? Ok this sh1t worked for Danny Bryan & Kane but how the rarse is this gonna work?

Why are Wyatt & Hardy allowing this foolishness to continue with The B Team? I have said for weeks now – SEND FOR THE ULTIMATE DELETION! Until that time I will speak NO MORE about this!

It hurts my brain to see such a talented brother in Apollo Crews, doing what he does in the ring, knowing full well that either he or Titus will eat the pin from the Authors of Pain… no shame in losing to them but it’s like yo… these guys should be serious contenders and sh!t!

“Suck up your PRIDE, give me respect and apologise…”

Really Baron Corbin? You gonna use the word PRIDE to a guy who’s T-shirt makes a positive impact and support to the LGBT community???

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a minute I don’t understand this – if The Revival beat Roman Reigns & Bobby Lashley last week, why are they still tryna beat down Reigns during his match with Rollins Vs Wackintyre and Ziggler?

(Oh I forgot… I’m catching up on YouTube and they don’t put sh!t in order!)

See right here with the combined force of Revival, Wackintyre & Ziggler – could summon the return of Dean Ambrose… hmmm… am I on to something here???

Meanwhile at this anger management sh1t… this to me is just a way to delay creative’s decision on who turns evil out of Bayley & Sasha – I dun told you jabronies neither have turned heel – it’s just a Bayley Vs Sasha situation… THAT’S IT! You know like it was for Brock Vs Undertaker back in 2015?

You know what – I don’t think Dr Shelby can handle these two, word up! He managed to get a ‘goat looking guy’ and a ‘monster who sets things on fire’ to hug but these two women gonna make him wear straight jacket by next week surely!

I got nothing much to say about Ember Moon Vs Liv Morgan apart from two things – 1 – Liv Morgan sold that Total Eclipse move like a BOSS and 2 – God DAYUUUUUUM Ember you fine! In fact f**k that – where’s that Alex Scott chick?

SPORT-PREVIEW-alex-scott

IDGAF – This woman is EVERY FOOTBALL FAN’S DREAM if you don’t fancy this woman – I’m telling you now – you sir are GAY!

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m a firm believer in one on one but this Mojo Rawley is a reptile – the whole of No Way Jose’s crew should rush this muthaf***a and beat out his blodclaaat!

Oh no! Extreme Rules match between Nia Jax and Alexa Blitch! Alexa’s pretty face is gonna get ruined….!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! KILL HER! KILL THE B!TCH! Ronda Rousey gonna be ringside too? TAKE MY MONEY!

See Bobby Lashley claims Roman Reigns would not be THE GUY if Lashley was here during the 10 years, well THE GRANT SAYS – neither would you Lashley… you know why? Lets be real – BECAUSE YOU’RE BLACK!!!! Vincent Kennedy might as well be that dude in that ‘I’m not racist’ video!

Oh dear! Double R is not being professional! Lashley’s intentions are good but Double R is having none of it! Remember boys and girls, he’s not a good guy or a bad guy is he?

..and because of Roman’s ignorance, he would rather get buss arse by The Revival than tag in Bobby Lashley… WOW!

You know I gotta save the best for last right? Braun Strowman Vs Kevin Owens… I’m guessing Kevin must have taken the train or something to get to work because he got no car now!

Kevin Owens car

Hang on – Kevin is running away? But his shirt says FIGHT ANYONE!!! Er….

Kevin is hiding in the toilet? Why would he do that? Is that his way of saying ‘he’s sh1ttin himself?’

OH NO! Braun disguised his voice and Kevin Owens got ketch! Now Braun is taping up the toilet! This is shades of Austin and Goldust surely?

Kevin Owens is like ‘ NO PLEASE!!!! ‘ I’m deddin already!!!

I guess Braun is gonna show mercy! Kevin doesn’t deserve this!

“You still in there Kevin???”

That has to be the lyric of the night! Don’t you get the joke? He locked Kevin in there all that time! Kevin can’t move!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

BRAUN TOOK A RUN UP! AND CHARGED HIMSELF INTO THE PORTABLE TOILET OFF THE STAGE!!! KEVIN IS PROBABLY DEAD BY NOW!!!!

I’M DUN!!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH!!!

ROFL

THERE’S PEOPLE IN THERE!!! THERE’S PEOPLE IN THERE!!!!!!!

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Monday Night Raw #1309, June 25, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Last week I found out that The Infamous Informer weekly blog is 4th in the top UK wrestling blogs according to feedspot.com… for that I wanna take this time to thank everyone who has supported me over the last seven years with this wrestling sh!t… I have cussed your favourite wrestler, written about sexual fantasies over your favourite female wrestler (apart from Paige and Alexa) and you continued to f**k with me. I SALUTE YOU. Maybe you sympathise with me when I cuss certain internerds!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1309! There are three wrestling bloggers better than me… I am gunning for that ‘#1 spot like Ludacris!!!!

So here I am, 5:53am, I couldn’t sleep, the hot weather got the best of me. Half an hour prior to that, I woke up, Naomi was not appearing in my dreams, so I thought, I might as well wake up, scroll my Facebook news feed (as you do) grab a coffee, and see what happened in the World Wrestling Federation.

Clearly this was not the first segment, but this is the first clip YouTube is showing me. Call the Ambulance to pick up Rich & Rex Gibson to pick up the people… put their bodies on the stretcher carry their @$$ out!

Realistically I think Titus and Apollo Crews CAN test the Authors of Pain… but storyline dictates they will only get killed!

Notice the Authors of Pain find themselves back om TV now that SAnitY find themselves on Smackdown…

I find it hard to worship somebody who is so ‘badmind’, and has no manners..so with that said – F**K ALEXA BL!TCH!

GRANT BODY-P!

But I will give credit where credit is due – she countered the fans saying ‘WHAT?’! Very good! Personally, I like the WHAT? chant… but yes it does get annoying. They tried that only ONCE with The Undertaker – didn’t turn out too well…

Shout out to Jamie Lannister….

GRANT BODY-P!

Natalya comes out here on some ‘Time is a precious commodity’ sh!t… remember that storyline when Eric Bischoff had 30 days to turn RAW around? It’s like that with Alexa because in 23 days … Ronda comes back.. and when she does… THAT’S IT!

In the meantime, Alexa Vs Natalya, with Mickie in Alexa’s corner, and Nia Jax in Natalya’s corner… gotta say – Natalya is looking FYYYNE AS A MUTHAF***A!

Hold up!!!! Natalya just made Alexa tap out!!! WHOA! NEW #1 Contender surely! Nia don’t you see what is happening here?

Mojo Rawley thinks he’s the big he-man picking on Todd the Cheeseburger right? Just like that – Todd is over with the crowd… I’m sitting here waiting for the inevitable memes of him being more over than Roman Reigns… GET A LIFE INTERNERDS!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

As soon as Mojo turned his back, if I was Todd The Cheeseburger, I would have kicked him in his d!ck!

Shout out to STC’s Nicola Hardwick…

The B-team want to continue this charade! I’m calling for a FINAL DELETION word up! Stop this foolishness RIGH… wait there… Extreme Rules…. HMMM!!!

Hold on!!! Bray & Matt give B-Team ratings!!! Y’all know they are plotting the Final deletion!

Ok let’s get serious for a minute! Did Roman Reigns just come with a KILLER LYRIC THERE?

“10 years ago, you wanted to be a big MMA Star, and how did that work out huh? You made a REAL BIG ‘IMPACT’…” You think John Cena ghostwritten that lyric for Double R???

GRANT BODY-P!

Er what? Roman Reigns wants to main event WrestleMania 5 times in a row???? Oooh the internerds are not gonna like that!!!!

SWITCH! Kurt Angle said there will NOT be a multi-man match at Extreme Rules!!! Uh-Oh – you think creative changed up sh!t?

“Brock Lesnar doesn’t care about….blah blah blah… in fact, Brock does not give a sh-” ROMAN REIGNS YOUR LANGUAGE!!!

“(Brock’s) tired of seeing your face, just like all these people are…” – GUNSHOT! I think the women would disagree but that’s another story! Bobby Lashley got lyrics too!

DOLPH ZIGGLER VS SETH ROLLINS! THIS IS THE REMATCH! WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP!

Once again a great back and forth contest! Is that Drew Wackintyre I see about to f**k this up?

That he has… muthaf***a!!! One day somebody gonna come kick his @$$!

YES! That person might just be Roman Reigns!!!! KICK HIS F**K!N @$$!

Spear to Ziggler – BLAOW! Ziggler sold that like a boss!

Man Double R is getting all the TV time isn’t he! I’m guessing this is to make up for the minimal TV time he had last week or the week before! He & Lashley fight The Revival again…I think the Revival should change their name – to The Dead & Buried!

YES I USED THE B-WORD!

HOLD UP!!! The Revival just took advantage of the 1upsman ship of Lashley & Reigns – used a distraction roll up and Reigns got pinned!!! The internerds are gonna celebrate like England buss up Panama 6-1!!!!

WHOA!!!! Bayley has gone OFF on Sasha! Holy smokes! Crowd chanting for Bayley crazy! PIC_0041Guys – I’m not taking it as a heel vs face thing here – that’s out the window – the only way for sure is their promos. If either Bayley or Sasha cusses the crowd… THEN YOU KNOW.

Honestly god everything Strowman does – it’s like the Terminator – every time you see him or T-1000 on-screen it’s like the music follows them… his music should be playing EVERY TIME he’s on-screen!

Wait a second – Braun & Kevin Owens are on the same team? Balor & Corbin on the same team? What is this bizarro land?

Kevin Owens tried the Braun technique of running around the ring – he knocked over Balor but was not so lucky against Corbin!

That was an out-of-order tag by Corbin wasn’t it? He clapped Balor in his head!

OH NO! Balor kicked down Corbin! I should bloody think so!

Hahahahah! The official is counting the guys out and Kevin Owens is counting along with him! That’s cool!

Oh dear I think Kevin Owens did something wrong! He tek foot and run garne!!! Does he realise Braun can run as well?

Kevin is tryna get the f**k outta there!!!

OH NO! Braun has Kevin’s car keys!!! This is bad! Look at Braun’s face!

“Here’s your keys! I hope you got insurance, because there’s you car!” What a nice man Braun is! He gave Kevin his keys!

OH NO! THE CAR MASH UP!!!! SEE THIS IS THE PART WHERE KEVIN OWENS IS THAT DUDE ON FINAL FIGHT AND SAYS ‘OH MY CAR’!!!!

OH MY CAR

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Voted in the top four wrestling blogs.

Monday Night Raw #1307, June 11, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Since y’all muthaf***az are not watching the World Wrestling Federation Live because of E3, I’m not watching it live either! I’m not watching E3 either… I GOTTA BETTER THINGS TO DO! Every year the same muthaf***a pops up in my FB inbox like ‘you watching E3’? THE GRANT SAYS – F**K E3! I’M NOT THAT GUY! That gaming aspect of me, getting excited over video games… it died a lonnnnnnnnng time ago!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1307! COREY GRAVES IS MY NEW HERO!

Screenshot-2018-6-12 Corey Graves ( WWEGraves) TwitterScreenshot-2018-6-12 Corey Graves ( WWEGraves) Twitter(1)Screenshot-2018-6-12 Corey Graves ( WWEGraves) Twitter(2)

YEAH CALM THE F**K DOWN INTERNERDS!!! I’m gonna use that!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m guessing this is how RAW & Smackdowns gonna start, with ladders in the ring and muthaf***az arguing about who is winning this sh!t…

BUMBACLAAAAAT LOOK AT BARON CORBIN HEADTOP! Did I miss a hair vs hair match or something?

Kevin Owens giving me joke! Saying Braun is too damn big!!!!

Even Alexa Blitch is giving me joke! That was a great line I admit!

“Y’all sounding like the Real Housewives of WWE!”

Did you see Braun’s face when Alexa says he’s gonna win? He was like ‘yeah you’re gonna get this d!ck’!

GRANT BODY-P!

OMG look at Breezango… getting more and more cumse-cumsa! What the f**k is all this frilly sh!t going on? I’m no fan of Ziggler & Wackintye, but I hope they buss up their clart!

Nice to see Roman Reigns smiling! Probably because he knows the WWE are editing out the boos for YouTube!

The Grant Says The B Team might be doing their thing… but I hope they get deleted!!! If Hardy & Wyatt can send for the lake of reincarnation and throw those B Team muthaf**az in there… then they can be one big happy family! Especially for Bo Dallas & Wyatt!

So the Riott Squad are going to start taking black lipstick and branding their opponents after they beat them down? Very NWO-ish don’t you think?!!!

You know what – let’s throw a pic of this woman… FOR NO REASON!

Mandy Rose

HOLY SMOKES THOSE BREASTS THOUGH!!!! Even the top she got on is saying – GOD DAYUUUUUUUUUUM!

WTF does Curt Hawkins have on? That’s some cumse-cumsa sh!t too! I’m glad No Way Jose boxed him down like that! 0-201 now muthaf***a! You lucky this ain’t UFC! You lose twice and that’s it – you’re GONE!

GRANT BODY-P!

The question remains – who was that long black-haired girl in the No Way Jose parade?

Wait a minute – has Sami Zayn brought the Stone Cold Steve Austin Skullbuster to WWE? There’s even a bell at the end of the rope climb!

Sami Zayn’s Skullbuster was SAWFT! Lashley knocked it out in less than a minute! Zayn didn’t like that sh!t so what does he do? Assault Lashley!

Elias just told me RAW was in Little Rock Arkansaw! Not really a ‘wrestling crowd’ is it?

Look at that – it’s a custom – made guitar for when Elias wins the Intercontinental joint at Money In The Bank! Did my dude Askem paint that for you?

Oh no! Rollins just noticed the Custom made guitar! Crowd be like – BURN IT DOWN! So why doesn’t Rollins do just that? Light a match and burn that muthaf***a? But I suppose stamping on it works just as well…

Money In the Bank 2018

Ooooooh it looks like Ronda Rousey has improved on her mic skills! She has put in serious time down there at the performance center! SHE IS RONDA ROUSEY! AND SHE IS BORN READY!

She wasn’t ready for that headbutt from Nia though!

Ronda sending for the arm bar! Nia trying to block! Can Ronda get it? YES!!! NIA WAS TAPPING LIKE A BEEEEEATTTCH! HOLY SMOKES!

Bobby Roode, Kevin Owens and Finn Balor combing their force to take Braun Strowman out the game! I got a bad feeling about this!

Kevin Owens with a frog splash off the top of the ladder to Strowman through a table – BLAOW!

And even with those super moves, Braun STILL got up!!!!

Hit Owens with the Running Powerslam on the ladder – BLAOW! One, Two and…. THREE!

This one didn’t end in me deddin on the floor, But I know who will be deddin – VIRGIN MEDIA if I don’t pay those bills!

GRANT BODY-P!

 

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Monday Night Raw #1306, June 4, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

DAYUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM!!!

Sasha lb wear

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW SASHA???!!! GUUUUUUURRRRRRLLLLLL!!!! Sometimes… you have to use your cousin’s words against you…

On the Eastside, that’s the crew I choose
Nothing I do is new to you
I smack up the world if they rude to you
‘Cause baby girl, you’re so beautiful…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1306! I’m not tryna be on the YouTube tip… I got big things poppin, little things stopping. And unfortunately wrestling fans… I class this as little things… more like your… (CENSORED!!!)

I think it’s safe to say that I can never watch RAW or Smackdown live because my streams no longer work good, and more often than not I’m yawning through the sh!t. With that said, me garne ah mi bed. YouTube highlights from now on…

You would think that by now Elias would learn not to perform in front of the WWE Universe every week… he always gets interrupted!

It’s like a Mexican stand-off! Only that Elias has his guitar, and Seth Rollins has his steel chair! Rollins just whacked the guitar out of Elias hands! Elias is looking like – heeeeeeeee!!!! All scared and sh!t!

Oh no Jinder Mahal TEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!! Putting beats on Rollins! SEND FOR THE SHIELD! GET DOWN THE STAIRS ROMAN!

Either WWE edited out the boos or we must be in one of those ‘non pro wrestling’ cities because Double R is getting cheered as he comes to the aid of Rollins!

Dayuuuuum 199 losses??? Do you think Curt Hawkins is out to beat the Barry Horowitz Losing streak record?

Ok just found out RAW was in Houston Texas…. Come on James Harden! Make it 200!!!

Hold up – Baron Corbin? What is the meaning of this?

Baron Corbin hit the End of Days! The official is calling for the bell! OH SNAP!!! James Harden just WON BY DISQUALIFICATION! WHICH MEANS Curt Hawkins LOST AGAIN! It’s in the record books!

Turns out that Baron Corbin is now the ‘Constable’ of Monday Night Raw? Ah wha de rarse?

Hold up – Bobby Lashley – where is your fashion sense? You’re wearing a tight up jacket with a muscle t-shirt, jeans and cap? THAT DOESN’T MATCH!

Sami Zayn is calling Bobby Lashley a liar! That his inspirational quotes on instagram don’t mean sh!t! He apparently has a fan club which you pay $19.99 to subscribe! Not even my good friend pictured below does that for that much! And she’s a model! Mother of 5 children, ladies and gentlemen I give you – HauteMamaOf5!

29717588_186680391947803_3832537057821982720_n

CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE

Just for the record, I haven’t subscribed… because if my lady found out, I would be sleeping on the couch!

GRANT BODY-P!

But Sami says Bobby was never in the army!!! He can’t do that??!!!! I see Bobby getting bex now…

Dayuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum look at Renee Young! She’s talking to Woken Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt of all people dressed like THAT? I’m sorry if that was me I would have to say something… fix my trousers like The Rock or something!

You see? Matt Hardy has the idea!!! Look at him biting his teeth! Renee looks uncomfortable! Renee says she’s woken but I’m high-powered – I’d f**k her back to sleep…

GRANT BODY-P!

Times like this I wished The Rock himself was on WWE doing these interviews with the likes of Renee, Charly Caruso etc… he’d tell em straight!

Oh dear… Natalya f**ked up her knee while fighting Nia Jax… you can see how this storyline is shaping up can’t you!

Nia Jax looks concerned actually… because Nia didn’t ‘injure’ the leg… Rousey is like – yo stay out of this!

What was that you fans were saying about Nia ‘turning heel’ in your memes? Shows you know a lot don’t you?

Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL!!! HE SPEAKS THE TRUTH! He says Double R thinks there is a conspiracy against him when in actual fact he had the most opportunities! THAT IS TRUE! Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL!

Guys – how can you NOT like Jinder Mahal??? This dude is funny!!!

“How dare you disparage my name!” He he hee hahahahaha JINDER STOP IT!

WOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIII!!!! And the fight is on!!!! JINDER MAHAL! ROMAN REIGNS! This is what I’m talking about!

Oh no! Alexa Bliss hurt her leg too! Come on Ronda get out here and see to your friend!

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a second! Alexa is leaving the building! Alexa is playing games!!! I never trusted that beeeeaatttch!

COME IN BAYLEY! She just helped the team win! Good on Bayley! Hahaha Corey Graves is bex! Gotta love it!

ARRRRRGHH TEEEEEF! Because Bayley wasn’t officially in the match, The Riott squad win! Baron Corbin exercising his authority! TEEEEEEEEEF!!!

This is what happens when you think you are god! You have to deal with the monster among men Braun Strowman! Bobby Roode gonna GET THESE HANDS!

I don’t think I’ve seen Strowman do that suplex before!

Er… Bobby… I don’t think ladders are allowed in this contest!

Ah I see! Bobby tricked Braun into doing that ‘running round the ring’ sh!t! He rolled under the ladder and now he’s laughing at Strowman! I don’t think that is too smart!

WHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAH!!!!! I’M DUN!!!!! THAT’S THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!

BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! HE BROKE THE LADDER WITH HIS BARE HANDS! BOBBY ROODE WAS LIKE – LAWWWWWWD JESUS!

(At this point this week’s blog has come to an abrupt end. The Infamous Informer was in so much hysterics that he cannot continue this blog! What Braun Strowman did was absolute GOLD. To find out more of what happened on RAW this week, hit up YouTube and find out!)

ROFL

GRANT BODY-P!

 

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Monday Night Raw #1305, May 28, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY SEXY LADIES AND WRESTLING JABRONIES!

Do you know what I remember? When Xavier Woods whooped The Miz @$$ on Street Fighter and took his Intercontinental Title! They recently had a rematch…this is what happened…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1305! I’m not tryna be on the YouTube tip… Street Fighter 30th anniversary is out! Don’t let me spend Tuesday watching this wrestling sh!t!

Oh f**k… so I end up watching this wrestling sh!t on a Tuesday and I got the blodclart game… ok let’s get through this as quick as possible…

Wait a minute – Elias almost swore on TV and the producers didn’t catch it!

Looks like you’re gonna sit there all night waiting for the pin drop… but you heard – BURN IT DOWN!!!!! Leave the building Elias… Monday Night Rollins is here!

This week’s contestant: Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL!!! Remember the rules! You must always say his name like that!

Once again Jinder’s bredrin got caught teefin! GET OUUUUUUUUTTTTTT!

JINDER MAHAL TEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!! he used the steel chair to the gut of Seth Rollins!

Wait a minute – I thought my dude was dashed out of the arena! REF STOP THE MATCH NOW!

Rollins is looking at the chair… he’s thinking f**k it – you f**k with my brudda Double R… I’m gonna f**k YOU UP! F**K THE TITLE MATCH!

Seth is beating this muthaf***a down because he’s so dyam teef!

HOLD UP! ELIAS TEEEEEEEEEEEEEF! He appeared out of nowhere and used the guitar to lick down Rollins! Rollins fell from the announce table off the stage! OH SNAP!!!

Rollins with neck brace wrapped around him, is trying to walk out on his own power! The crowd singing happy birthday to Seth Rollins! YES! It IS HIS BIRTHDAY! Do you think for one minute he can use the bathroom by himself?

GRANT BODY-P!

Unlucky Ascension! They actually put on a good showing against The Deletion Of Worlds…but this sh!t is boring me – I need Wyatt and Matt Hardy to start f**k!n with people… wrestling matches is all well and good but that sh!t means nothing without storyline!

Chad Gable is getting buss arse every week… when the f**k is Jason Jordan gonna show up and help his bredrin?

Question – I’m only seeing what YouTube allows me to – is Kevin Owens doing that sh!t with the camera on live tv what he does on house shows? That would be wild!

AAAH SHEEEEEEEEEEET! BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! He’s not finished with Kevin Owens! He’s gonna KILL!!!

If I was Bobby Roode – I’d get the f**k out too! It’s probably fun watching Kevin Owens get buss arse but this is BRAUN we are dealing with here!

I TOLD YOU!!!! See if that was me I would have haul @$$ to the top of the stage and celebrated at a distance!

He’s gonna be monster in the bank!!! Maybe he will win! It would be the most frightening cash in ever!!! I wouldn’t wanna be the World Wrestling Federation Universal champion let me tell ya! Even if your name is Brock Lesnar!

Finn Balor never lost the belt though! So he should have been up there from marnin!

HOLD UP! Finn Balor just slapped Braun! Oh my god  OHHH MYYYY GODDDDDD!!! YO YO YO!! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING!!!

Just before Braun could destroy Finn Balor… KUUUUUUURTT!!! Had to come out quicktime!

Aaah! So that’s why Braun f**ked up Kevin Owens! Because during this match, Kevin Owens was talking sh!t on the microphone!

Remember boys and girls – this is from YouTube, and the sequence of events are not in order!

…and then Kevin Owens proceeded to go to the ring and f**k up a good match between Strowman and Balor!

LAWWWWWWWWWWWWD!!!! If Owens got ketch by that ladder that Braun dashed after him – it would have been curtains for sure!!!

Sami Zayn is reading a letter of apology to the WWE Universe for his segment last week with Bobby Lashley… yeah that was straight GARBAGE! I’m sure Bobby never signed back up for this!

Is it me or is Sami growing his beard more? Oh my god no Sami! Just because it worked for Harry when he got Meghan doesn’t mean it’s gonna work for you!

GRANT BODY-P!

WHOA! maybe Sami Zayn was sincere! Ok apology accepted – that beard ain’t working for you homes – GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

He claims everything he said about Lashley was true though… last time somebody didn’t apologise for the truth – he got thrown in jail!

What a nice young man in Bobby Lashley! Held out his hand to Sami asking for a match at the Money inna bank… he’s all smiling and sh!t… but then the smile disappears… uh-oh!

He’s crushing the bones in Zayn’s hand! How is Zayn gonna wrestle??? DON’T JUST STAND THERE YOU NINCOMPOOP – STOP HIM!

Women’s Gauntlet Match! winner goes to Money In The Bank…

Hold up – one Bayley to Bayley move later to Liv Morgan and it’s over? Why did these NXT gyal come to main roster in the first place? Unimportant – On to the next one!

WTF? Bayley is making these Riot girls look like b!tches! rolled up Sarah Logan like a pretzel!

ON TO THE NEXT ONE!

Clearly they didn’t like being treated like b!tches, and Ruby Riott picking up the scraps…

Dana Brooke comes on, and 2 second later gets kicked in her head… what is going on here? They might as well do the catwalk , pose, turn back round up the ramp and gone again!

Mickie James didn’t fall for the tricks, but gets her panty pulled for the pin! Come on Mickie look how long you have been in the game and you fall for that?

Sasha Banks, with the most sellotape on her shoulder… had this match won but the Riott Squad tried to teef!

AND THAT’S A TAP FROM THE BANK STATEMENT! Sasha Banks is going to Money In the Bank! I would say that Bayley may cost Sasha going forward but I’m not sure yet…

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I don’t know who that is but GOD DAYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!

Hold up  who is that chick trying to put Nia Jax in the arm bar???? I don’t know who that is but GOD DAYUUUUUUUUUUM!

Nia trying to show Rousey that she’s no match! Rousey is just smiling like – it’s all good!

“If I wanted, this leg could crush a woman’s chest…”

No no no Nia! SAVE THE T!TT!£$!!!!!

Look at Rousey she BEX! But Nia finds it humorous! Maybe Alexa was right – Nia IS THE REAL BULLY!

Now if you excuse me, I’m off to play that old school Street Fighter you get me! Because THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!!

Oh snap – I forgot to talk about this B-team Barbecue… this sh!t is only gonna turn into a food fight… and there are kids – including myself starving!

F**k this – about that Street Fighter game…

 

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Monday Night Raw #1304, May 21, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

MEGHAN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I just wanna take this time to big up Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex… Some sound advice from the Infamous Informer: Get your own supply at ALL TIMES. Learn Shaolin Kung Fu, some wrestling moves (strong style with a bit of Undertaker style preferred) and invest in some vibranium! YOU SAW THE LOOK THE QUEEN GAVE YOU??!!! She wants to KILL!!!!

Queen death look

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1304! I’m on the YouTube tip… I have been told it wasn’t that hot…

Say what? Baron Corbin like to collect human skulls?? Since when did this head reclining muthaf***a become the predator?

GRANT BODY-P!

No Way Jose lose again! I mean… was he called up from NXT to be a jobber??? Not good for you homie!

Have we gotta watch The B-Team Vs Breezango again??? Oh that’s ok – it didn’t last long – Breezango acting like a faggot as usual cost him the match, and now the B Team are rolling around on the canvas like Billy & Chuck… Lord help me…

Chad Gable is going nowhere fast… sorry kid, you need your bredrin back. American Alpha should never have split up. And that’s real.

Bobby Roode Vs Elias again?!!! What is this – The best of seven series????

The beef between Double R & Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL! Continues! (see when you mention the modern-day mararrrrrrraja you have to say – Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL!

Kevin Owens & Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL! Putting the beats to Double R when suddenly – BURN IT DOWN!!!!! Seth Rollins sends for the tandem engine!!!

DISRESPECT!!!! Sami Zayn gets guys to dress up in drag to diss Bobby Lashley? Are you serious right now… Ok fans – you are allowed to complain on the internet… If I was the crowd I would walk out word up…

WTF is Lashley wearing? Looks like some tight up sh!t… NO LASHLEY! Wear Roc-a-Wear jeans! What a good thing I didn’t watch this sh!t last night…

Let’s move on to the nicer things in life… The LADIES!!!!

Ember Moon Vs Alexa Bliss – I hope Ember beats out Alexa’s blodclart!

Mickie James tried to teef by taking off her show and lickin’ Ember Moon with it! Hey you’re not Ember’s mother??!!! Brings back memories!!!

GRANT BODY -P!

Mickie got ketch by the referee! God dayuuuum Mickie OWWWWWWWWWWW!! Ref – send her to my yard!! Girl looking fine like that – dayuuuuuuuuuuum!PIC_0038

Alexa tried a distraction roll up! Ember Moon BEXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!! Alexa ‘fraid now!

Ember Moon hit the Eclipse – BLAOW!!!! That’s my girl! EMBER MOON!!!

Wait a minute… Ronda Rousey gets a title shot against Nia Jax and suddenly Stephanie shows up??? I smell a rat here!

Kurt Angle & Stephanie in the ring… the intense sexual chemistry is still there! These two cannot lie to me!

Now look what you done Stephanie… you gone and mentioned Roman Reigns name…

I don’t know about you guys but I like Double R’s ‘Samoan Temper’! Yeah Stephanie – watch your tone girl! Or d!ck in your mouth!

GRANT BODY-P!

“You don’t want me near that Universal Championship, or that Money In the Bank contract…” Er Double R… you couldn’t be more wrong!!

Ha! Ha! Haaaaaaaaah! Look at Kevin Owens! putting his arm on Stephanie’s shoulder! Stephanie looks like she gonna say – GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME you McDonalds eating Jeremy Kyle muthaf***a!

Well she did… not in so many words!

Am I seeing right? Dana Brooke is in the ring fighting??? STOP PRESS! STOP THE ROYAL HONEYMOON! Harry if you are having sexual intercourse with Meghan STOP and PULL OUT RIGHT NOW! THIS IS HUGE!

GRANT BODY-P!

Natalya joins Alexa, Becky, Charlotte & Ember in the Money in the Bank ladder Match! Fantastic!

Yes the sequence of events are muddled up – I’m just going by what YouTube showed me ok?!!! I do have the common sense to know that the Kurt/Steph/Roman/Owens segment came on first leading to a singles match which ended in Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL! being teef which made Seth Rollins Burn It down and now it’s turned into a tag match!

Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL! Couldn’t take the pressure! The Shield won the match but dude is beating them down with steel chairs!

I don’t understand why Braun Strowman and Finn Balor are fighting each other but this is what we have! Braun Strowman tried that running around the ring sh!t but Balor was ready for him – Slingblade!!!

Oh man! Finn Balor giving Strowman such a fight that Strowman had to pull down his straps! Not even Brock Lesnar has made him do that!

Look at Stephanie trying to stir the pot with the contract signing! Something tells me Ronda Rousey and Nia Jax are gonna rush Stephanie and beat out her blodclart! At least that’s how I would armchair book it!

Stephanie thinks Ronda will tek foot and gone out of WWE if Nia beats her! That’s f**ked up! I’m sure Ronda knew what she signed up for!

Look at Nia! She looks like the super meter is building within her!!!

Ronda Rousey is left-handed! My family believes that left handed people are some clever muthaf***az!

Maybe Stephanie’s plan worked! Contracts are signed, hands are shook, eyes locked on, and look in the middle in the background that evil Stephanie! Is there a picture of this?

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STEPHANIE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!! That is straight VINCENT KENNEDY RIGHT THERE!

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Monday Night Raw #1303, May 14, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

SERIOUSLY???

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Now Nia… I commend you for this! But do you realise what you’ve done? You got people complaining on the internet!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1303! We’re playing for England {In-ger-land}
We’re playing the song
We’re singing for England {In-ger-land}
Arrivederci its one on one!!!!

You know what? I can’t be bothered to watch live now. The streams ain’t working, I’m getting a hundred pop up pages, it’s annoying me so you know what? I’m gonna play God of War… how about that???

So the lord has blessed me with another glorious day! When it’s sunny like this and the women are looking hot – YOU DON’T NEED TO COMPLAIN ON THE INTERNET! One man who is complaining though… is Sami Zayn.

“Bobby Lashley targeted me because he wants to be me…” Er Sami believe me – Lashley DOES NOT want to be you!!! Lashley looks like that dude who tears up women’s pu$$!£$ on Redtube….

GRANT BODY-P!

So now Bo Dallas & Curtis Axel call themselves ‘The B-Team’???? You gotta be kidding me?! OH SNAP THEY BEAT BREEZANGO! AH LIE!!!

Er what? They are coming for the Tag championships? They are over with the fans? What sort of planet am I living on? Answers on a postcard please!

I see a fan in the crowd wearing a Rusev Day shirt… that man is GAY. Yeah I said it… you know why? Look how fine Natalya, Ember Moon & Sasha Banks are. All three of em would get the D. You mean to tell me that when they defeated the Riot Squad he was there doing the Matt Hardy DELETE gesture? He must be one of those fans who wants Roman Reigns to turn heel and start wearing trunks and sh!t…

GRANT BODY-P!

They call it the KISS OF DELETION?! I’m not sure the B TEAM are ready for this! Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt just gave the Revival props for their wrestling skill, but they are reduced to jobbers, and it’s a sad sight…. to you that is… but to me it’s… WONNNNDERFULLL!

The Monster Among Men and the Demon King Vs Drew Wackintyre & Dolph Ziggler? Oh boy… this is the ‘complain on the internet’ match… by that I mean whoever loses, guaranteed fans will not be happy!

Oh snap! Ziggler and Wackintyre got the win!!! Something tells me it was a good job I didn’t watch this live…

Oh no! Kurt Angle is adapting to the ways of the Authority! You know that evil Triple Teef is grinning backstage!

So now… Bobby Lashley, Elias and Jinder Mahal are gonna fight – winner goes to Money In the Bank… the way the storyline is going – Elias has got this!

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GRANT BODY-P! & SISTER ESS-BEE

Double R wants in! The crowd is saying NO! (er fans… eventually, dude WILL win that title… IN-EV-IT-A-BIL-ITY!!!) Then you can complain on the internet and go to that ALL IN thing on September where you can REALLY get your jerk on!

GRANT BODY-P!

WHOA! Double R is LOCKED OFF the Money In the Bank Ladder match! Damn that’s cold! He says he gotta do what he has to do!!! AAAAH SHEEEEEEEET!!!

I thought Bobby Roode already qualified for Money in The Bank??? No matter… he’s and that’s cool!

Alexa Blitch joins Charlotte Flair and Ember Moon in the women’s joint! This is looking good! At the moment… Ember is still my pick… but if Asuka gets involved.. it might be worries!

Kevin Owens answered the Intercontinental Open Challenge! And got a Falcon Arrow on the hardest part of the canvas for his trouble! Tries to recover, and Rollins clocked him with the Curb Stomp! BLAOW!!! Unlucky Owens!

Turns out Jinder Mahal was ready for Double R!!! And the fight is on backstage!

It took the management long enough to break up the fight!!! Double R wanted to take Mahal out the game!!! Mahal all bandaged up… he should be aiiight…dude is in pain though!

Sunil: Jinder are you alright?

Jinder: I’m good… I’m good…

ROMAN REIGNS WITH THE SPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE THROUGH THE CONCRETE WALL – BLAOW! YUH DEAD NOW!!!

Kevin Owens replaces Jinder Mahal! Ok I’m not so sure who gonna win this Triple Threat qualifier now!

Er what – They are booing Bobby Lashley? SERIOUSLY??? Ok I’m lost! What did he DOOOOOOOOOOO????

Owens took advantage of a situation! I just wanna take this time to the young lady (pictured below) who was talking to me on Facebook last night while RAW was on, we got big plans going forward for you hip hop heads… From what YouTube have shown me… WWE RAW you have to come better than that! I would have been bored out my brains!

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Monday Night Raw #1302, May 7, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

SERIOUSLY???

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WALKING OUT THE JOINT? It couldn’t have been THAT BAD???

Guys – he didn’t win the World Wrestling Federation Championship… you do know that right?

You know what – your actions makes me NOT wanna write this blog word up!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1302! Ok I do agree with you guys, Samoa Joe Vs Double R should NOT have been the main event… that’s taking the p!$$!

I got those big @$$ hula hoops, spicy chilli flavor, mint aero (actually I might put that back and wait for Smackdown because that’s Naomi flavour) and get the jaffa cakes… come on WWE give me some joke!

I am already experiencing problems with this stream, and with the mood I’m in, I might just switch it off, and put on that Cobra Kai thing on YouTube…  have you seen it yet? I’ve watched the first two episodes, and it’s already compelling! Good job Ralph Macchio!

Braun Strowman Vs Kevin Owens, winner goes through to Money Innah Bank… unlucky Kevin!!!

“THIS IS WHAT YOU DESERVE YOU COWARD!!!!”  Braun is f**k!n up Kevin Owens!

Check it – 4 superstars each from RAW & Smackdowns (Men & Women) will compete in the Money Innah Bank Ladder match… this is what I’m saying! STEP THEIR GAME UP! On the same token, this is on YOUR HEAD fans! You’re the ones like ‘cut down the PPVs’… so don’t come with your noise like ‘why is this guy not in it’??? SHUT THE F**K UP!

Happy Birthday Kevin Owens! Oh man! He really is getting birthday beatings!

HAHAHAHA!!!! The run around the ring and then box him down! PUT THAT MOVE IN WWE 2K19 PLEASE!!! What we do know… Braun is going to Money In The Bank… that’s worries for everybody!

The Big Dog is p!$$£d the f**k off!!! AND RIGHTFULLY SO! But what about Mr Lesnar? Aaaaaaah sheeeeeet he’s gonna beat the 434 streak for real!

Jinder thinks he should be in the Money In The Bank ladder match? He’s almost as insane as Kanye according to Jiggaman!

GRANT BODY-P!

Sasha Banks Vs Ember Moon Vs Ruby Riott… winner goes to Money In The Bank… Sasha girl you fine but backing Ember Moon here!!! OWWWWWWWW!!!

OH SH!T! Something went down in the crowd to make security escort them out the building! What the hell happened? Answers on a postcard please! Crowd was chanting YOU DESERVE IT! Don’t tell me someone was masturbating over Liv Morgan?

GRANT BODY-P!

The Riot Squad being teef with Sasha Banks! Bayley came down to help! But this enabled Ember Moon to hit the Eclipse on Ruby Riot – BLAOW!

Gotta love WWE right? Talking about Bobby Lashley’s career, and blatantly ignoring the

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Photo courtesy of Edd Mulhall

TNA sh!t! Renee Young wants to know about Bobby Lashley the man… more like she secretly wants some BBC –

OH MY GOD!!! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING!!! YO YO YO!!!! STOP IT!!!

Check it – Jinder Mahal must defeat Chad Gable…if he wants to get into the Money In the bank… wait – the Coach just said Chad reminds him of a young Kurt Angle… Jason Jordan are you watching this???

Jinder Mahal got the Collass on Chad Gable – BLAOW!!! But Mahal wanted to buss up Chad Gable after that… oh dear…

After all that!!!! Kurt Angle gave Jinder a NAUGHT! What a b!tch!

Who would want to Walk With Elias when you can Strut Gloriously with Bobby Roode??

There’s my pick right there!!! Bobby Roode to win the Money Innah Bank! Imagine the storylines going forward! Braun is too obvious… he would cause the most ruckus….actually he would be a good choice as well!

Who wants to test Seth Rollins for the Intercontinental Championship? Oh no… Mojo Rawley? This fool? Yo Seth – send for the TANDEM ENGINE!

Gotta admit – Mojo Rawley is going IN against Seth Rollins! But he couldn’t withstand the curb stomp – BLAOW!

Look at Rollins swinging the belt like a helicopter like his name is Petey Pablo!

Fancy that… The Deleater Of Worlds facing ‘Daxel’… Brother must fight brother! (Wyatt Vs Bo Dallas) This should be good!

Oh it’s finished already? Sorry I was playing Street Fighter…

GRANT BODY-P!

Finn Balor Vs Sami Zayn Vs Roman Reigns! Winner goes to Money Innah Bank! Imagine if Reigns won… oh boy oh boy!

OH SNAP! WWE is in the UK next week! Aaaah sheeeeeet! Get restraining orders ready for the following women: Natalya, Nia Jax, Naomi, Charlotte & Becky… if the Infamous Informer is within 10 feet of those lovely young ladies – arrest him on the spot!

WWE SPICE GIRLS

Jinder Mahal baited it up for Reigns! He’s gonna pay for that I will assure you!

Finn Balor hits the Coup De Grace on Sami Zayn! Balor advances! Are you happy now muthaf***az? Balor is on a PPV! Now shut the f**k up!

GRANT BODY-P!

 

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Monday Night Raw #1301, April 30, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

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Imagine! I’m supposed to talk about how Titus O Neill became a Shame of a Nation at the Greatest Royal Rumble… but someone from the Smack Talk Centre decides to tag me in the picture above… NIAAAAA JAAAAAAXXXX! She’s just baaaaaaaad! Imagine her riding your tings! Whining those hips! I am so surprised Redman hasn’t shown up to a WWE event yet… imagine a storyline with Nia & Redman… it would be the best ever!

Redman approves

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1301! I haven’t done this blogging thing in a while, lets see if I still got it!

Jerry Lawler calls it Bizarro Land, I call it THE PROMISED LAND! The home of my real life woman (Hi Leanna!) RAW is in Canada, and they are booing the hell out of Roman Reigns!

Come on Canada – it’s not like he retired The Undertaker!!!!

Oh dear! Canada you might as well start cheering Reigns – you boo Samoa Joe and now you boo Jinder Mahal!

Jinder Mahal believes he can win the Universal Championship! Wait – Sami Zayn gets cheered!!!! Well that’s alright then! we didn’t wanna boo him anyway!

Oh no – they might boo Bobby Lashley – he prevented Zayn from going to the Greatest Royal Rumbles! They might chant ‘YOU SCREWED BRET’ er I mean ZAYN!

GRANT BODY-P!

And now they cheer Kevin Owens! Would this technically mean Danny Bryan would get booed??? Answers on a postcard please! Tweet me – @MZATheInfamous!

Well at least the crowd wanna see Roman Reigns fight! He gets butts in the seats!!!

Trust in Braun to clean house! He gets cheered – Can’t go wrong!

Oh no – Elias in concert? I didn’t pay to see him? I’m still hurt I didn’t get to see Killah Priest and Lords Of The Underground!!!

I gotta give Elias his props, I don’t think he was meant to get this over with the fans…

Oh no Bobby Roode f**ked up his throat! Elias announces himself as the winner… it would have been even better if Elias sent for the guitar and started singing about Roode’s throat! That would have been TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!

Wait a minute – two local French Canadian wannabe La Resistance fools wanna get buss arse by The Authors Of Pain?? They got entrance music too! WHOA! Did Barry Horowitz get that sh!t? Answers On A Postcard please!

Charly Caruso did ask the fools why…. they should have told her the truth – they wanna get a quick $3000!

GRANT BODY-P!

You know some fool at the Chiarshot  FB wrestling group asked – why Seth Rollins didn’t help join the six man tag match with Reigns & Lashley against Mahal & Sami & Kevin later? FOLLOW THE STORYLINE! WRESTLING IS STORYLINE! See that’s why fans don’t make any sense when they claim to book better than the official bookers! (Not saying that the WWE Bookers are perfect – they’re not) but fans are just that – FANS! KNOW YOUR ROLE!

I don’t think even Seth Rollins was prepared for this ovation! Anyone would think he was inducted in the Hall of Fame!

Ok enough of this French talk from the guys – let’s hear it from the women! (Not you Alexa you’re ugly)

GRANT BODY-P!

The crowd is crazy!!!! There’s probably some idiot sitting behind the computer screen like – ‘I want the attitude era’ back…

I can’t believe Curtis Axel & Bo Dallas wanted to form the 4 Horsemen with Balor and Seth! That’s disrespect to Flair! They must want Flair to take off his clothes in disgust!

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Oh yeah that goes for Ruby Riot – Do NOT SPEAK French!

But Sasha – you can speak French all day!!! OH YEAH!!!

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Even the boss lady was no match for the Riott Squad. She and Bayley (and maybe somebody else – Rousey maybe?) should stop being b!tches and combine their force!

Now I was gonna retire to my bed because I am mad tired – but yo – Titus is coming on! The star!!!!

But just before that – Alexa wants sympathy – she gets NONE FROM ME! As far as I’m concerned – she can GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE with her crocodile tears! And I hope she BURNS IN HELL!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

“This is for everybody who had a ‘Nia’ in their life”… Well THE GRANT SAYS – if ‘Nia’ looks like that – I WANT HER IN MY LIFE! GOD DAYUUUUUUUM!

Titus admitted that he took the L! What a good sport!! He’s smiling too! As usual Baron Corbin is hating… watch this – Corbin gonna lose!

As for Woken Matt Hardy & Wyatt… YAAWWWWWWNNN look at the time! Past my bedtime! (Nothing to do with the RAW Tag Team Champions, I am actually genuinely tired.) Goodnight wrestling fans, don’t let the Double R bugs bite you in your basement @$$!

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Good morning True wrestling fans! Welcome back, and I hope you are still joining in at home. I wake up this morning praising the lord for another day, but also contemplating how to get that God Of War game… like I want the game but I have so much going on I don’t want to regret it financially. Anyway enough rambling on, let’s watch the rest of RAW! Where’s my coffee at?

Drew Wackintyre & Dolph Ziggler think every superstar should be afraid… I don’t know about you but when you have guys like Bray Wyatt, Matt Hardy, The Authors of Pain, Bobby Lashley & Braun around… this is the part where I become my favorite superhero as I say this:

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I know everyone’s favourite hero is Thanos right now… sorry – Blade is STILL DA MAN!

OH NO!!!!! Titus clearly using his misfortune and turning it into a positive to f**k up Baron Corbin! No Way Jose caught Corbin with a distraction roll up! I know Shadfather & Icy Fresh loves those! I think Corey Graves is on to something… No Way Jose joining Titus Worldslide??? I could slide to that!!!

I so cannot wait to see Alexa Blitch get BUSS ARSE by Nia Jax again! Alexa got life though this week because if Ronda Rousey ketch haar Alexa would be in a box! And we don’t want that now do we lads? It would be a sad day for you while I be Thanos laughing in your face!

GRANT BODY-P!

Great wrestling contest between Seth Rollins and Finn Balor – well do we expect anything less? Reversals galore, near falls, beautiful! Unlucky Balor – But you don’t have a match at Backlash though… er uh-oh! Therin lies WWE’s problem! So much talent its unreal.

A team with Double R, Lashley and Braun… there’s no way Sami Jinder and Kevin can beat them surely???

OH NO NOT AGAIN! Every time Sami & Kevin find their feet on the outside, Braun knocks them down again! But this move in WWE2K19 PLEASE!!!!! Make it a OMG! Moment! Because that sh!t is too funny!

Now…it’s gonna hurt me, but if I want God of War, Burnout Paradise will have to leave the building temporarily. Just like business, you have to make tough decisions. John and Nikki know all about tough decisions…

GRANT BODY-P!

STC 2018 logo3

Monday Night Raw #1298, April 9, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

SHAME. SHAME. SHAME! RING THE BELL!

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Imagine! I’m supposed to talk about how Ronda Rousey looked sexy in that little kilt she had on, I should talk about when a little kid named Nicholas is a tag team champion and could get the next Warrior award next year, I should talk about how NO ONE apart from Mike Knoxxx knew that Brock Lesnar was gonna hold down the title and could be going for the 434 days…which I support I might add! I should even talk about the Undertaker! Looking like a million bucks and f**ked up John Cena… but when you talk WrestleMania moments… it doesn’t get better than this! Natalya exposing her shaven pu$$y in front of 78,811 fans… GOD DAYUUUUUUM!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1298! RAW AFTER MANIA! Who’s coming from NXT? Who is gonna surprise our @$$£$?

Look at Stephanie’s arm!! AWWWWWWW!!! Now SHUDDUP and sign those cheques!

Hey Ronda girl don’t trust that Stephanie!!! What is she up to?

It’s very similar to when Vincent Kennedy was trying to tell Austin that he needs to adapt and be flexible, and adaptation is a key of life as well as in business! Now fans! Telling Steph to shut the f**k up is advice YOU GUYS should be practicing!

Rousey as Austin: “Can I get 10 seconds to think about it?”

Stephanie as Vince: “By all means!”

Rousey as Austin: ARM BAR AS THE STUNNER!

NIA JAX: NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION RAW WOMEN’S CHAMPION!

nia jax oh my dayz

Wait a second – it’s a handicap match? Mickie James & Alexa must combine their force? Why don’t the fans chant…. OH SNAP THEY CALLED ALEXA AN @$$HOLE! WHOA!

IT’S NO HANDICAP! EMBER MOON IS IN THE BUILDING!!!! YES!!!

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SEXY B!TCH! LOOK AT HER! OWWWWWWWWW!

Even better – she hit Alexa Bliss with the Eclipse super move! BEAUTIFUL! LIFE IS GOOD!

Well what do you know?! Nicholas is over with the crowd! BUT Nicholas has school! So They have given up the titles! I was hoping Nicholas was gonna get some pu$$y with those tag titles!

GRANT BODY-P!

NO WAY JOSE is on the house! Yes its that Adam Rose sh!t all over again… I see people complaining on the internet already… come on man it’s party time!

SETH ROLLINS! NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!!!

I don’t know what all that was about thanks to the stream, but it looks like as the Miztourage was gonna take on Finn Balor & Seth Rollins, JEFF HARDY comes out!!! So hmmmm! They not gonna run with that Brother Nero sh!t????

The fans are still singing that stupid song to Bayley? NOT Mandy Rose??? AH CHUPID SONG!!! Mind you I wouldn’t be too happy if the crowd sand ‘Guess Who Loves You More’ to Naomi… even though I would understand!

Holy smokes Paige has finally dropped the R – Bomb… like Undertaker put back on his gloves and his coat and his hat, but Paige is the one who is forced to put down her pale make up in the middle of the canvas… this is the part where I should say ‘Thank You Paige’… but since I was never a fan… I’ll leave that to you guys.

Now if I was Elias I would be careful what I say on that guitar! One false mention of the don of dons and he’s going to be in a box!!!!

The WWE Universe is down with Walking With Elias though!!! Not me though – I’m hip hop to the core!

You know what Elias – dissing the crowd might not help you!

BUMBACLAAAAAAAAAT! BOBBY LASHLEY!!!! HOLY SMOKES!!! HE’S NOT SHUCKING AND JIVIN’! 

You know what Apollo? retreat to Smackdown! It’s not a good look for you kid!

GUNSHOT! “Our tag team division is full, but I heard TNA is hiring…” I can’t believe Kurt said that!!!! THE FIFTH WALL IS BROKEN!

You don’t suppose Vincent Kennedy has brought…. nah it cannot be possible surely?!!!

Heath Slater & Rhyno – you guys are going in a box – THE AUTHORS OF PAIN ARE HERE! Thanks for being WWE superstars… you will be missed…

Here he is! Mr Marmite! The Big Dog! Come on fans! He didn’t retire The Undertaker! Cut him some slack!

Brock Lesnar has re-signed with the World Wrestling Federation! Oh man! And he’s fighting Double R at the Greatest Royal Rumbles! Come on BROCK! I’m only supporting you because I want you to break the 434!

Oh man! Double R has still gotta deal with this dude! Samoa Joe – who has missed TWO WrestleManias on the trot… that’s f**ked up!

See Samoa Joe is running down Reigns calling him a failure… but Reigns could have countered like – yeah it took 6 F5s to put me down! It only took ONE to put you down! Sorry Double R, you made yourself look like a beeeeeattchhh!

GRANT BODY-P!

Bray Wyatt ‘reincarnated’… now he plays second fiddle to Matt Hardy! WOW! What a b!tch!

So, Kurt says if Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn want a job… they gotta fight for it… such is life!

Er… oh no! Neither individual answered the 10 count! Now both are not on RAW either! Maybe ROH are hiring… or New Japan even… that’s not a bad thing? We love the New Japan!

Kami TNA

Commentators acknowledging the possibility that The Miz could go to Smackdown in the shake up (which happens next week) and restarting the beef with Danny Bryan!

Wasn’t it glorious when Jeff Hardy, Seth Rollins and Finn Balor f**ked up the Miztourage! OHHHH WHAT A FEELING!

 

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.