Category Archives: The Infamous Informer

WWE Wrestling Blog by the man from Northampton.

Monday Night Raw #1271, October 9, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Now I could start this sh!t off by saying Columbus Day this, Columbus Day that  but F**K ALL THAT – I enjoyed the Hell In A Cell… best matches since… Brock Vs Undertaker two years ago? Nah Nah – Dean Ambrose Vs Seth Rollins was the one right there!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1271! To normal jabronies, its Columbus Day. To us WWE fans, it’s EDDIE GUERRERO DAY! SALUTE THIS MAN!

Steph Raw

WE ARE IN INDIANAPOLIS! Where it all started for The Shield, where it all ended for The Shield, and could it start all over again?

Why is the Miz doing this Mizzie sh!t again? I think I want the Shield to come down the stairs now!

Oh snap – Bo Dallas got buss arse so much he’s sitting at home like a beeatch!

Just think – Cesaro and Sheamus were at each other’s throats, one year later they are winning awards and sh!t! I’d give them an award for their entrance alone!

AAAAAAAAH SHEEEEEEEEEET!!!! The Shield are BACK!!! Minus the swat gear but that’s ok! THE SAGA CONTINUES! They have formed like Voltron! WROOOOOOOOOOY! The Miz! The Bar! the Shield! It’s all ruckus now! BUMBACLAAAAAAAAT!!!! Look at the Miz’s face! He’s like – A WHA DE RARSE! THE CROWD ARE GOING NUTS!!!

HERE WE GO! OOOOOOOWWWWAAAAA! TRIPLE POWERBOMB TO THE MIZ – BLAOW!!!

JUST LIKE THAT! THE MIZ IS THE B!TCH OF THE WEEK!

OFFICIAL! The Miz & The Bar Vs The Shield! TLC MATCH! AAAAAH SHEEEEEET! I couldn’t give a f**k about Elias and walking with that muthaf***a – he ain’t Hip Hop!

GRANT BODY-P!

YES! Titus f**ked up Elias rhythm! I wanna walk with Titus Worldwide! Apollo best beat this muthaf***a this time!

F**K! Apollo lose again… damn Apollo – did you p!$$ McMahon off? I knew he should never have come to RAW…

Sugar Ray Amore??? But him nah defend him title yet????

The heartbreaking thing about Enzo is – he makes all these Hip Hop references in his promos… so me personally – I cannot hate him like you lot!

You gotta be kidding me! Enzo is in the main event of RAW! 3 weeks running! Enzo Vs Kalisto – lumberjack match for the Cruiserweight title!! Come on son – Enzo has made this sh!t mad compelling!

I know these Hardy Boyz are fearless but Matt Hardy – TURN BACK!!! You don’t want none of BRAAAAUUUUUUUUN!

I think Braun is merely playing with Matt here! he’s gonna be BROKEN for sure after this! Did Matt p!$$ off Vince as well?

A LIE! Matt Hardy hit the Twist Of Fate to Strowman! Dude kicked out at 1! Matt  just get yourself disqualified and….oh too late – Strowman hit the running powerslam – BLAOW!!

HOLY SMOKES! THE SHIELD HAVE RUSHED STROWMAN! THEY MIGHT HAVE A FIGHTING CHANCE THIS TIME!

DOUBLE R HIT THE SPEAR – BLAOW!

OH MY DAYS! THEY SET UP THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!

OOOOOOOOOOOWWWAAAAAHHHHH!!!

TRIPLE POWERBOMB TO STROWMAN THROUGH THE TABLE – BLAOW!!!

ROMAN REIGNS FEEL GOOD NOW – HE’S GETTING CHEERED!

GRANT BODY-P!

…and now we got Mickie James! And I am so glad she ain’t skipping to the ring anymore – I hated that sh!t!

“I have more energy in my body than you have hair extensions and pink hair dye!” YES! Mickie James speaks the truth! Mickie needs to bring that energy over here!

GRANT BODY-P!GRANT WWDJC2

I’m all about the older women!!! It’s been my track record since I was 21!

Oh sh!t – Mickie got the crowd chanting ‘biscuit butt’ to Alexa! I take it that means she has NO SHAPE!

SERIOUSLY?? Bayley, Sasha and Alicia want to go agains… wait a second – Dana & Emma want in!

Fatal 5 way match for the opportunity to face Asuka at the TLC joint! But the question remains – where Nia Jax at? Er… she DID FOLLOW our own Shadfather on the twitter… The Grant says – Shad knows all the answers Sway!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO! Apparently Dean Ambrose’s mouth got The Shield in certain trouble! Apparently The Shield can take on the world, and for a second I did wonder – where does Braun Strowman fit on the TLC card! Now he joins The Miz & the Bar in the TLC match too?! Strowman counts as an extra 3 people!

Now this Sister Abigail situation! The Balor Club is not afraid of Sister Abigail! I know as hell I’m not!

HOLY SMOKES – A WHA DAT?!!! I take that back – Sister Abigail looks ugly as f**k! It exists within Bray!

Not even Undertaker & Kane have forced Bray to send for Abigail!

Big up to the Perfect Plex Talk Radio – they are straight taking the p!$$! Calling Bray Wyatt – a tranny and sh!t!

Now – does the winner of this match REALLY WIN? I mean, they fight Asuka… With this in mind – I’m backing Dana or Emma, because it started with them in NXT!

WHOA! Ok hold up – Dana and Bayley eliminated! Emma is still in this thing! COME ON EMMA!

YES!!!! EMMA IS THROUGH!!! It is only right!!!!

Big up to Kalisto! He’s dedicating this match to Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio! COME ON KALISTO!

Eddie ISP

Picture courtesy of Iron Skull Productions

There is no way Enzo can win surely? Big Cass ain’t gonna come and save him is he???

Wait a second the heel cruiserweights putting the boots on Kalisto – isn’t the idea to brukk up Enzo’s blodclart? Enzo may have a fighting chance here!

Oh no! the lumberjacks are causing ruckus outside! What happened to unity and all that? Kalisto just hit a superplex to Enzo to the outside landing on everybody! WHOA!

At least Mustafa Ali had the idea and kept the objective at hand – prevent Enzo from walking out of Indianapolis with the title!

YES! The Kalisto Del Sol! Kalisto – NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION!

RAW WAS OFF THE HOOK! WWE DID EDDIE PROUD STAR! YEAH MAN!

Smackdown.. I’m gonna pray for ya!

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Monday Night Raw #1270 , October 2, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I was watching Sky Sports News earlier, I am pleased to say that the dastardly Triple TEEF was sitting well away from my Natalie Sawyer… maybe he knew better because she is temptation incarnate with those…..BRRRRRREASSSSSTSSSS!!!!

However he did say that Ronda Rousey would like the opportunity and he would ‘give it to her’… SURE YOU WOULD TRIPLE!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1270! WHEN DID ROMAN REIGNS PASS THE HATE BATON TO ENZO AMORE? Was it that time he kicked him off the bus?

Steph Raw

Hold up – before we talk about this wrestling sh!t – apparently movie star Bradley Cooper is looking to star in a biopic playing as Vincent Kennedy!!! I hope they don’t run the scene where he met Linda and on the first date he had a realllllly good time…. in the back seat of the 1969 Cherviolet Impala!

GRANT BODY-P!

Holy snap! No Michael Cole? Maybe RAW will be great this week!

I completely forgot about all this sh!t – Seth Rollins Vs BRAUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!! he might be the Kingslayer buy can he slay the monster among men?

Braun is that over with the crowd that even with a fan favourite in Seth Rollins the crowd want Braun to f**k him up! Not only did he f**k up Seth, he got Deano too with the running powerslam – BLAOW!!!

Bad enough The Shield are f**ked up… but The Bar act like they cashed in their Money In The Bank contract for the tag team championships!

So this is how they gonna run it – take the p!$$ out of Mickie James age? You know she’s only what – she’s my age actually! Me and Mickie would have attended the same school – maybe even the same class! But I said it last week and I will say it now – Garth Brooks & Wu-Tang don’t mix!

GRANT BODY-P!

I know Nia is the sexiest muthaf***a on RAW but we gotta give it up to Mickie James this week…

Mickie james

Look at Alexa Blitch rubbing it in as Mickie is getting buss arse by Nia…. man I would love to get one of my sisters to f**k Alexa up!

HOLY SMOKES – Mr Motormouth now has nothing to say! NO BARS! I said it to you before Enzo – Take your WWE cruiserweight wages and remove the Wu-Tang tattoo off your arm. You are not worthy of it and The Saga Continues without you. (see what I did there?)

Just to be clear – I don’t hate you Enzo – in fact far from it… but you have to pay penalties yo…

Mickie James gets title shot against Alexa Bliss at the TLC joint! YES! Gonna be interesting either way – with Asuka’s debut at the PPV!

While Jason Jordan & Matt Hardy are fighting The Balding Club, I just wanna give a shout out to @majorpaiger1 on twitter – SoulNSports first lady…. like dayuum girl you are cute! If I was 10 years younger….

Conversely – Shout out to STC and fellow JAMMS co host – Joanne Chapman… If this was about 8 years ago – girl – I would be ALL OVER YOU!

GRANT BODY-P!

Just letting you know – The Infamous Informer is a faithful man… I love my real life first lady. Not talking about Naomi now – My true first lady. Temptation is everywhere… but the north got everything under control!

Er wait – The Balding Club WON?!!!! WHOA!!! I wasn’t paying attention! there I was chatting away about beautiful women and the everyday battle to fight off infidelity!

NO!!!! The Miztourage are doing The Shield’s entrance! They are coming down the stairs! they can’t do that!!!! TEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!

They lucky Dean and Seth are too brukk up to do anything!

Double R is straight up f**k!n up the MizTourage! They won’t be coming down the stairs again!

There is no way The Miz can win! Even if he takes the belt and tries to run – Double R gonna catch him!

It’s gonna take like 5 Skull Crushing Finale’s to put away Double R! You saw what happened at No Mercy! Cena dropped 4 FUs – one of them being the super FU off the top ropes!

Wait a minute – The Bar assaulting Double R for no reason! This has to trigger The Shield now surely!

The Miz and The Bar did the ultimate supermove – hit the triple powerbomb on Roman Reigns – BLAOW!

Calling it now – The Bar/Miz Vs The Shield in a TLC Match – that’s the main event right there!

“Abigail is alive, and she is dying to meet you”… and you can hear her laughing and sh!t….

Er… UH-OH! Bray Wyatt has finally given me something to look forward to!

I think Enzo Amore has found his voice again… and for the second week running, he’s the last segment…

WHOA! He just told the Cruiserweight division to go to hell!GRANT WWDJC2

WHOA! If any cruiserweight touches Enzo – this time they get FIRED????

Looks like Neville wants to be fired!!! In fact 205 Live could end right here!

Oh snap he took a shot at Corey Greaves! Oh man – I’m waiting for BRAUUUUUUUUUN! to come out!

Maybe not – Kurt might just reverse the decision! HERE WE GO!

Er – Kalisto got the shot!!! The clause doesn’t apply to him! Now all eyes on Kalisto! He got the entire cruiserweight division on his shoulders!

Aaaaah sheeeeeeeet! Double R says nothing, Deano says nothing, Rollins says nothing… it might be that time to suit up gents!

 

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1268 , September 18, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Aah man, how do I say goodbye…

We lost another wrestling legend y’all… Bobby The Brain Heenan has returned to the essence and reunited with his broadcast partner – Gorilla Monsoon. Now the HWF (Heaven Wrestling Federation) roster is finally complete. They have their champions, (Warrior, Savage, Eddie) Their mid-carders (Perfect, Rick Rude, Owen Hart) Their women’s division (Chyna, Elizabeth) Their monster heels (Umaga, Viscera) Their babyface (Dusty) their top heel (Piper) Even their jobbers (Test, Crash Holly, Junkyard Dog) and everyone in between (Bulldog, Boss Man) And GOD himself is the general manager/commissioner – he’s signing these stars!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1268! Shout out to Natalie Sawyer… damn that girl is so fine! If I had my hands on her – I’d show NO MERCY on her p-(FLATLINE!!!!)

Steph Raw

I got NO refreshments… oh lawwwwwd… this is bad news! How am I gonna make it through the show?

Yo this week’s WWF wrestling better be as hot as the feud between Grace & Sienna on Hollyoaks!

GRANT BODY-P!

Ok I missed the first few minutes so I don’t know if there was a 10 Bell salute… what I do know… is that The Miz suddenly thinks he’s father of the year just because he breed up Maryse… and tries to talk down at Kurt Angle… you think Jason Jordan can defeat the Miz for the intercontinental championship at the No Mercy joint? F**k all that – Alexa Blitch is on against all curves and no brakes – a woman Redman would be proud of in Nia Jax… with that said… I had to throw some chips on… a brotha hungry!

..and just like that… I’m already fed up – the streams are f**k!n up, reminding me not to be a cheap arse and watch Raw properly on Sky Sports… well THE GRANT SAYS – I’m gonna eat my chips… and when I’m dun, me garne ah mi bed! I know it’s the go home show leading to the PPV… but my patience worn thin. This would not happen if it was Smackdown let me tell ya!

TUESDAY MORNING

Yes jabronies I am blessed to see another day, now I’m on catch up mode with this wrestling sh!t… and what do I see? Alexa Bl!tch running away from Nia Jax… that’s your World Wrestling Federation Women’s champion, your sweetheart… f**kouttahere! No I didn’t roll out the wrong side of the bed… this is Grant every day! Who you know like Grant????

Sasha comes out to tell Alexa – get your B!TCH @$$ back in the ring! Nia Jax claps down Alexa from the other side – BLAOW!

Shout out to the Soul n Sports massive & crew – before Raw I agreed that it is now Nia’s time to become the champion… but after watching her dominant performance… er… knowing WWE’s logic… er… oh dear…

Er… BAYLEY???? She looks bex for once!!!! She actually looks like she wants to f**k Nia up! WHOA!

Well obviously it would take the combined might of Alexa, Sasha & Bayley to mash her up when all they did was shoulder block Nia into the canvas…

Where does Alexa think she’s going trying to fren up – fren up Bayley & Sasha? They gave her the Ol Dirty Bastard look – GETTOUTTAHERE!!!

ODB GETTOUTTAHERE

“Nostalgia will fade just like these WHAT chants…” Sorry Cesaro the What chant will live forever… it cannot be stopped! It will only get stronger!

I gotta agree with Ambrose – Ii wouldn’t let my brothers dressed like battyman wannabe T-800s!

GRANT BODY-P!

I like The Shield’s formation suicide dives! That’s cool!!!! The Bar or The Club was not ready for that sh!t!

The Club lose again… oh god damnit this is the match we should have at No Mercy… what the blodclaaat! The Club should have won that sh!t to make things interesting… but nooooooo….

114 match losing streak??? If Apollo Crews loses to Curt Hawkins… then I will review my Raw card… but that sexy @$$ Asuka is coming though… she might be the saving grace…

Spinning spin out powerbomb – BLAOW! Now Hawkins is 0-115!

Wait a second – did Double R cuss bad words?!!!! How can you fools not like this guy? Oh yeah I forgot – you are all BUZZARDS with iPhoneXs lighting that sh!t up when a blubbering idiot walks to the ring with his flashlight!

GRANT BODY-P!

Double R bring up old sh!t about Cena running down The Rock… Aaah good times hahaa!

no_mercy_rendered-5805b3c8abc10195cce3ec0ebfb18b02

See that’s the only time Double R can get one up on Cena – when Cena is not here… five years later Cena is doing the same sh!t The Rock is doing… y’all know me – I’m Team Bring It all day… but Double R said something that made me think – maybe he shot himself in the foot – Cena believed he would beat The Rock at WrestleMania 28 – that went wrong… Double R cuts a similar promo like Cena did 5 five years ago – I have a feeling Cena gonna beat Double R and that’s gonna bring doubt and bad vibes in Double R’s Psyche… YES – that’s how it’s going – Cena wins… it eats away at Double R and consumes him until they have their rematch! That’s my prediction right there!

Massive big ups to Bobby The Brain Heenan. I will keep it 100 like I always do – Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler will always be my favourite commentary team of all time… but Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan were the original commentary team, not just that – you look at all the sketches they did back in the day – you don’t get that sh!t now word up. You won’t hear me say ‘he’s the greatest that ever did it’ unless I am a true fan – Ok I put it to you… in all the times you have read my blogs or listened to my podcasts on BDSIR Network – when have you heard me hold Heenan in high regard? Outside of the Royal Rumble 92 special show me and Shad did? Just keeping it 100…

Dustin Rhodes? So he’s now the artist formerly known as Goldust again? Oh no that became a horror story last time that happened!

Don’t worry I get it – it’s playing off the storyline Wyatt got with Finn Balor – I already did the knowledge!

Yo Rhodes is going IN on Wyatt! ‘Next Undertaker my dutty foot!’

…then he went in – right into a Sister Abigail – BLAOW! Er.. oh dear…

Finn Balor now on that cryptic sh!t! Oh Bray, you wonder why I refuse to light up my phone when you come out to the ring…

GRANT BODY-P!

So this six-pack challenge thing – Elias Vs Double J vs Hardy Boyz Vs Miztourage  winner fights the Miz at No Mercy? YAWN…. NEXT!!!

The Miz is so TEEEEEF! He doesn’t want Jeff Hardy or Jason Jordan to win! They need to kick him down and get him out of the equation!

OHHHH The Miz has done it now! He just called Jason Jordan a ‘Jon Snow’! he can’t do that! Oh boy – backing Double J all the way here… but that Miz is SO TEEF!!! Calling it now – Double J wins by disqualification, Jason Jordan gets bex, the Miztourage beats on him… then finally Kurt comes out, and hits the olympic slam on the Miz… either that or tries to break the ankle…

WHAAAAAAHAHAHA!!!! “I will feel great after I beat Neville at No Mercy how you doin?”
Did you see Enzo’s face when he heard – BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! Braun just boxed him down one time – BLAOW!!!GRANT WU TANG FOREVER

Braun picked up Enzo one hand – CHOKESLAAAAAAM! BLAOW! I don’t think Enzo gonna make it to No Mercy now! Neville must be deddin!

The running powerslam!!! BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! Holy smokes! Enzo is probably dead by now!

There was NO NEED for that Red Arrow super move Neville!!! Oh my days that was funny!

Let’s keep on this Braun sh!t! He says he’s gonna take Suplex City and stomp it to the ground! Better listen to him Heyman… or ELSE!

Oh man – if I was the referee – I would let Brock & Braun go at it – a simple wrestling match just won’t do boys and girls!

Paul Heyman is straight exposing Mike Cole as the wack journalist that he is! Mike Cole you wack homes!

Brock is thanking Braun for coming at him like this! Remember boys and girls – don’t complain on the internet!

 

 

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1266, September 4, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Beyoncé Knowles-Carter – GOD DAYUUUUUUUM! Sometimes she switches the sex appeal on, sometimes it tunn off… but in this video… Just like how people think she is in the illuminati like her husband, THE GRANT SAYS this is how Jiggaman blasted his super sperm in his wife… THERE IS NO CONCRETE EVIDENCE PEOPLE! YOU WASN’T THERE!!! My first lady actually thinks he didn’t get in Beyoncé’s temple at all and it was a test tube job! Haha I love my woman… but her hatred for the 4:44 man is too much! Not even I hated Triple H on that level back in 1999-2005!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1266! Can’t we just do a whole blog about Beyonce’s fine @$$ instead?

Steph Raw

SOURCE: WWE on YouTube (I fell crazy ill so I missed it live… god damn viral infection is a muthaf***a!)

One thing I can say about Enzo Amore is while he ain’t the realest guy in the room, he’s more real than that Lonzo Ball I can tell you that!

I smell a slow heel turn from Enzo, because this dude is acting like he is badder than all the other dudes on the 205 joint… and I believe they are acting on the real life situation which happened a while back when Double R kicked him off the bus. You can see the clues in the 6-man tag match – tagging in when he feels like it to get all the glory, and using shady underhanded tactics!

I love the dude Finn Balor but I think he shouldn’t come out dropping promos just wearing his jacket and his brief?!!! that doesn’t look too right!

Bray wants to face the ‘normal’ Finn Balor! Well THE GRANT SAYS – Bray can’t manage the ‘demon’! Hahaha -pu$$y!

GRANT BODY-P!

Big ups to Booker-T  sounds like his family in Houston Texas are ok coming off the hurricane that passed. I do have concern for STC’s own Anthony Cardenas, who hasn’t been heard from since that time.

Gotta give it up to the crowd  I saw a sign saying ‘Flair always kicks out’! LOVE IT!

Hey TEEF – Sheamus & Cesaro tried to bait it up for The Shield and it went wrong! Distraction roll up against the balding club for the win!

WROOOOOY! Balding Club clash with Sheamus & Cesaro! They didn’t last very long though… yo Vincent Kennedy – what did these guys do to p!$$ you off? What did they doooooooo?!!!!

Was you jabronies gonna start your noise when John Cena defeated Jason Jordan in a great wrestling contest???? I bet you was! #FOOL

Oh snap! Double R puts John Cena on blast! It took Cena 20 minutes to defeat Jason Jordan! Watch this – they will have Jason Jordan fight Double R next week!

WHOA! John Cena doesn’t respect Double R! But but but…. he defeated the Undertaker! At big big WrestleMania!!!!

Look at Cena – getting on the fans side!!! This could be Cena’s one chance to be cheered 100%!

Double R doesn’t respect Cena because he believes he’s talk and no action! But Cena been action  for about 15 years!!!!

I think Nia Jax genuinely listens to our own Shadfather! I’ve noticed her wrestling attire has become a bit more see through!grant-body-p

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Now THAT give me joke! Alexa Bliss tryna slap up Nia Jax but to no effect! Nia just looks pon her and screams, then Alexa screams in horror as well and tried to run gone! FANTASTIC!

Holy smokes! Now Emma and Nia are in the championship match at the No Mercy joint! YES! They failed to tell me that in these highlights! Backing Nia ALL THE WAY!

Nia just reminding Emma what time it is – Yes we won the tag match, but come No Mercy it’s every gyal for herself – Samoan drop to Emma – BLAOW!

As usual – the Miztourage tried to teef in the match between The Miz & Jeff Hardy for the World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Championship, the ref ketch them and ejected them out the building! But in the interest of fairness, Matt Hardy had to go as well!

But Jeff misses the Swanton Bomb, Miz responds with a Skull Crushing Finale – BLAOW! DAMNIT!

The Big Show! 7’2, was 500lbs of steaming monkey crap! vs BRAUUUUUUN!!! So here’s me waiting for the steel cage to brukk up!

Back in the day! Big Show’s super move was an elbow drop off the top ropes! THAT IS TRUE! No way… is he… NO….HE GOT HIM! BLAOW!!!!!

Wait a minute – not again! Braun setting up Big Show for a superplex off the top ropes!!! You know what happened last time!!!!

This time they reinforced the ring!!!! The match continues!

Braun hits the powerslam!!! 1, 2 and 3!!!! Surely Braun cannot be finished with him!

I KNEW IT! Braun picks up Big Show, and powerslams him through the cage!!! BRAUUUUUUUUUN!!! He should have said – I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!

I think this is how I’m gonna watch RAW in future, apart from Nia, Braun, Balor and Double R, all my favourite wrestlers are on Smackdown… maybe my illness did me a favor…

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1265, August 28, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

50 men have come, and 50 men have fallen. Officially – NO ONE can beat him! Love him or hate him – he had your attention and that’s real. RESPECT HIS GANGSTA!

Actually I wanna address the haters real quick… still in denial? Talking about ‘it took 10 rounds to take a non-boxer out’ – it will take me 10 seconds for me to tell you – SHUT THE F**K UP! Go and lose 10lbs, invest in that tenner in your pocket instead of ordering pizza for your racist fat @$$!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1265! We getting money YEP! Hall Of Famer YEP! He deserves it YEP!

Steph Raw

NO RAW beginning? We just gonna start with The Miz with his annoying self!

We got Jerry Lawler on commentary! You think he’s gonna be dutty towards Alexa Blitch?

Just as The Miz was gonna chat sh!t, Kurt Angle interrupts the proceedings!

Kurt Angle has no respect??? I’d rather Kurt have no respect than The Miz having no manners!

Looks like there is gonna be in a battle royal! Winner faces The Miz at the No Mercy joint! Oh wait – I got it wrong – it’s running NEXT WEEK on RAW – Intercontinental title defense!

Remind me in the morning I must start watching the Mae Young Classic jump off… the #1 reason I put back on my WWE Network – me want to see the gyal dem fight!

The Miz seems to be enjoying what he’s seeing from this Battle Royal! Everyone dashing each other out the ring and falling on their side!

Oh so that’s why… he got his cronies up in the match too! But what if Bo Dallas or Curtis Axel win? (hypothetically…)

Bray Wyatt TEEEF! He wasn’t in the match! Appeared out of nowhere doing his children of the corn sh!t and dashed Finn Balor out! CALLING STIPULATION FOR NO MERCY!

Just when you thought Jason Jordan was the favourite to win… Jeff Hardy emerges victorious! Oh wow! I like this!!!! The Miz doesn’t like it I can tell you that!

Now that Enzo fights on 205 Live, the question remains – is he still gonna mix it up with the regular roster?

Big Cass is out the game for a good number of months! Dayuuuum… that’s his push on hold before it even began!

At least we can keep it moving because quite frankly, that storyline was wack homes!

Neville doesn’t seem to be impressed with Enzo’s fighting style! He thinks he’s gonna be champion for ever! For ever ever? FOR EVER EVER!!!!!

WHOA! Brock Lesnar twice in two weeks!!! Good lord! Not even Undertaker got this treatment with Brock’s appearance dates!

GRANT BODY-P!

Don’t get it twisted – I’m not that dude who complains about Brock’s status and how he defends his Universal Championship, actually I’m that dude who doesn’t give a f**k – I got nothing to lose – Brock can do what the f**k he wants!

Not just that… Brock spoke as well! Man this is serious! Snatched the mic from Heyman like “What he’s saying is – Suplex City B!tch!”

Hold up – Seth Rollins just teefed a move from Apollo Crews! He can’t do that! Standing reverse moonsault while opponent was on the canvas!

Uh oh! I like this! If Emma defeats Mickie James, it’s hashtag city! However, if Mickie wins, Emma can’t say she started this women’s revolution sh!t!grant-body-p

What the rarse? They changed Emma’s music! Er… I don’t get it! 2K games – don’t worry about that!

OH SNAP! Emma defeats Mickie James! Maybe the music change was worth it! Emma started the women’s revolution! I know! We learn something new every day! Poor Mickie, maybe she needs to find a new love interest or something…  back in the day she wanted to get her scissors on with Trish… god dayuuuum!

I am quite shocked that they are running John Cena Vs Roman Reigns at the No Mercy joint… I mean, it has big BIG WrestleMania written all over it… even Mike Cole said so!

John Cena just says he has no Fs to give! Well nor do I Cena! Join the club!

Er… Double R.. rubbing it in about retiring the Undertaker! I respect it but don’t do that!

Cena just called Reigns a ‘Corporate created John Cena bootleg!’ Yo keep me outta this!

Cena is killing Reigns on how to cut a promo! Reigns is now going for low blow techniques on the mic! Reigns is recovering though!!! I think they have thrown the script away here!

“I’m still here because you can’t do your job!” Damn Reigns!!! HOLY SMOKES! I feel bad for you… I really do! The likes of CM P**k and The Rock have struggled against Cena’s lyrical sword!

Trust me – the IWC are gonna be partying hard with those memes this week!

Elias Samson is the ‘Elvis’ of the WWE? So does that mean he’s gonna dead on the toilet?

GRANT BODY-P!

You done it now Elias –  you provoked Jerry Lawler! I hope Lawler doesn’t send for his singlet…you know what happened last time!

What is this nonsense? Pelvis Wesley? Southpaw Regional Wrestling? GETTHEF**KOUTTAHERE! Put on Alexa and Sasha sexy @$$! Oh lawwwd…

Let me get my mint & chocolate chip ice cream y’all – I wanna see Sasha brukk up Alexa blodclart all over again!

You see – Alexa & Sasha don’t like each other in real life – they should apply this in the storylines! Look how successful the feud between Edge & Matt Hardy was, or HBK Vs Bret Hart! That added intensity! Right now I’m not feeling that with Alexa & Sasha…

OH SNAP! Alexa Bliss – NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION WOMEN’S CHAMPION! Nia Jax congratulates her – OH SNAP! Nia just put her down on some Batista sh!t – BLAOW! YES!!! I smell Triple Threat… she took out Sasha as well!

BRAVO RAW! I made it through the three hours! I yawned here and there but yes! Y’all came through! Double R & Cena though… good lord! That’s what we like – throw away the robotics – keep it 100 on the mic!

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1264, August 21, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

 

HOLY SMOKES!!! I have watched Brock Lesnar since he broke in 2002… I have never, EVER seen him get f**ked up like that, not even from (in my mind) his most fierce rival – the don of dons – The Undertaker! This, plus Kevin Owens killer line “Where were you? YOU FALL OFF BUILDINGS!” 5 title changes (unlucky Naomi, no shame in losing to Natalya – she is apart of one of the greatest wrestling families ever) Summerslam was wild yo!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1264! ALEXA BLISS LOST HER TITLE! To quote that Simpsons kid – Ha-haaa!

Steph Raw

I’m not sure if I have the energy to get through the three hours… but Kurt says he has a big announcement… superstar shake up maybe as many of you dirt sheet readers keep bangin on about?

Brock kicks off the show! He will be pacing up and down while Paul be like ‘I told you so!’

The crowd be chanting SUPLEX CITY while you muthaf***az on the internet are complaining about Brock’s scheduled dates! WHO IS THE PROBLEM?

Certainly not this guy – BRAUUUUUUUUUUUN!!! This guy, THIS GUY!!! He just f**ked up Brock AGAIN!!! HOLY SMOKES! 2 thunderous powerslams!!! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!

Enzo Amore Vs Big Cass in a Brooklyn Street Fight? Where Ol’ Dirty at?

AH LIE! Big Cass injured??!!!!! Nah gotta be a work surely? Let me see the replay! Holy smokes!!! Maybe he did mash-up his leg!

Er.. how did Emma change the women’s revolution? What did she doooooooo? Oh yeah – teefing out of walmart! Oh yeah that really changed the game!

GRANT BODY-P!

Nia Jax is gonna killllllll Emma! She says #GiveEmmaCPR? Well THE GRANT SAYS #GiveEmmaSomeC-

OH MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Yes Elias – Brooklyn is a Hip Hop borough – no one wants to hear your country music garbage!

Oh snap! While Elias sason & R-Truth was fighting…

 1h1 hour ago

“like the Terminator, I’ll be back”   Asuka suffers collarbone injury at NXT TakeOver  

THE GRANT SAYS: Sounds like someone needs a massage on her collarbone… I’LL HELP…

GRANT BODY-P!

Here we go! John Cena is the surprise! Remember he is a free agent! He can go on any show! Sorry guys – you don’t get Bobby Roode just yet you fools!

UH-OH!!!! DOUBLE R! You don’t suppose they are gonna start this rivalry now?????

I don’t know what the crowd are chanting right now!

Oh I know now – they chanting UN-DER-TAY-KER!

Oh snap – Double R & John Cena were gonna come to blows and then that idiot Miz just had to ruin the runnings!

What the rarse does Bo Dallas have on???? You ain’t a pimp muthaf***a!

So let me get this right so I can understand this – Booing Cena & Reigns affects The Miz? I dunno – he sounds like a b!tch if you ask me!

Samoa Joe has come to join the party! UH-OH! JOE! JOE! JOE! JOE!

Crowd chanting YOU BOTH SUCK! Directed at Cena & Reigns! Oh dear! What did these guys doooooooo?!!!!!

I just remembered to follow that Kayla Braxton chick on the twitter – God dayuuuuuum – I saw her on Summerslams… Vincent Kennedy knows where all the kriss gyal are at!

Kayla Braxtons

DAYYUUUUUM KAYLA!!! You’re making me HIGGHHHHHHH!!! Baby baby baby – BABY!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Jason Jordan wants to test Finn Balor??? This kid is ambitious isn’t he?

I saw some stupidness on WWE’s YouTube earlier, talking about – what name should Rollins & Ambrose call themselves? THEY ARE THE SHIELD YOU DUMMY!

The Shield Vs  The Hardy Boyz? YES PLEASE!

A great contest between the two teams with the new tag champs victorious! The Hardys continue to lose… how long before they finally become ‘broken’?

OFFICIAL – BROCK LESNAR Vs BRAUN STROWMAN – WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION TITLE AT NO MERCY! Grant & Leva

I am so glad Sasha girl is the champion… one guy in the STC pointed out that Alexa Bliss got thighs… ok she got it going on but I don’t think she can hold a candle to the likes of Becky Lynch, Charlotte and especially not Nia Jax when it comes to thighs!

Mike Cole says Finn Balor was the only dude to stand up to Bray Wyatt’s deranged fighting style – er – hello??? Undertaker???? WrestleMania 31?????

Great effort by a guy I am proud to call ‘Double J’! Never that other idiot who owns the Global Farce Wrestling!

Now that Double R & Cena have mastered the art of not giving a f**k of how the crowd feels, they defeated the annoying Miz and the powerful Samoa Joe. Let the complaining on the internet begin I guess!

 

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1263, August 14, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Ric Flair women 2

I’m gonna keep it 100 with you. This man NEEDS TO PULL THROUGH. When we lost Dusty and Piper, yes they hurt massively, but they never really hurt me much. But this guy? He was my Grandma’s favourite wrestler. Now he’s in hospital and the way I got it figured, if they send Becky Lynch in there to give him the kiss of life – I’m telling you now – he would make a dramatic recovery quicker than John Cena’s return at Royal Rumble 2008.

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1263! SUMMER IS HERE! COME ON RIC – THINK OF THE WOMEN!!!

Steph Raw

Sipping on Rockstar Energy Drink – proud sponsors of Wild1 Radio with an ice cream for later (Sasha vs Nia Jax) LET’S DO THIS SH!T!

I can’t lie, I hated Seth Rollins music… I thought it was generic, but WWE has a habit of making these themes grow on you! Especially with that extra added – BURN IT DOWN!

Maybe it took Sheamus & Cesaro to further convince Deano and Rollins they must combine their force once more. With this knowledge… I CANNOT see Roman Reigns winning the title at this time… because he’s the final component…the question remains – will they come down the stairs at Summerslams?

Nia Jax vs Sasha now? But my ice cream isn’t ready!!! NOOOOOO!!!!

Oh look here now, Miss Ugly Bliss wants to take a closer look… now before you throw stones after me, Do I think Alexa is good-looking? YES. But her personality is ugly as f**k – and Corey Graves – I hear you mention my girl Cersei! Yo Cersei – I heard you like to f**k brothers – why don’t you take on a REAL BROTHA??!!! You think Cersei plays this on her iPhone while sitting on the iron throne?

GRANT BODY-P!

Stupid streams – now I don’t know who is facing Alexa Blitch… but if Wyatt & Finn Balor are fighting later – what does this mean for Summerslam? They gonna put a stipulation sauce on it?

I wasn’t gonna speak on this Enzo/Cass/Big Show angle but damn the Boston crowd do not like Big Cass much do they? They won’t let him speak! Could have been worse – you didn’t retire the Undertaker at WrestleMania!

Er – I don’t get it – why are Anderson & Gallows are beating on the Big Show? did i miss something?

Big Cass is trying to destroy Big Show’s skill? Break his hands so come Summerslam he can’t use the chokeslam or the Sean Price punch?

Tozawa fighting Neville for the World Wrestling Federation Cruiserweight Title? Hmmm! Did they realise there were too many matches set up for Summerslams or is there more to the story?

HOLY SMOKES! Tozawa – NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!! Neville has gotta be bex surely! He’s gonna invoke his rematch clause watch this!

Aaah – Sasha advances then… no surprise there! Oh well Nia, you have a hot date with Shadfather! SUMMER IS HERE!!!

Summerslams

I hope this match ends in some sort of way that forces the Demon King out for the Summerslams!

That’s it? Bray Wyatt hits the Sister Abigail on Balor and wins? It can’t end just like that??? Come on – you’re BRAY WYATT!

OH SNAP! Wyatt just threw a bucket full of ‘blood’ on Balor! Was it pig’s blood? Buzzard blood? Abigail’s blood?! That does it now! Wyatt just went ‘the Brood’ on Balor!

Yay Mickie James & Emma are fighting! If Emma loses again… then I really have to question creative like – what did Emma do to p!$$ Vince off? Oh I get it – she didn’t wanna do the Emmalina sh!t? She didn’t wanna take it out and start?grant-body-p

GRANT BODY-P!

“Emma reminds me of a young Booker-T…” Er what the blodclart you ah chat bout bwoy? Mi nah understand that foolishness! Emma lose again! Oh man! It’s gotta be the Emmalina sh!t! THE GRANT SAYS Emma reminds me of a young Hunter Hearst Helmsley – she’s at the bottom of the barrel – anyone would think she did the curtain call!

GRANT BODY-P!

Finn Balor bex! He just said Wyatt will find out that Balor got his demons too! Oh sh!t! Corey Graves is slippin today! “Does that mean what I think that means?” Of course you know muthaf***a!

Wait a second – Revival out with injuries again? They only came back the other day! dem nah ready for the main roster! Send their blodclart back to NXT – bring up the Authors Of Pain! Them mans look MILITANT!

Security surrounding the ring – you think Kurt has hired enough? If we have learned anything in WWE, there is NEVER ENOUGH security!

Bwoy Paul Heyman can chat eeeh? I really cannot call this match. I would like to think that Double R won’t be winning because of the reformation of The Shield, but in a way that doesn’t even come into true effect til around Survivor Series time!

Roman Reigns moves in silence – Spear to Samoa Joe – BLAOW! Strowman & Lesnar ketch – up! Security can’t hold them, WWE superstars can’t hold them, too bad Lesnar didn’t say to Strowman – I’M GONNA KILL YOU! with Strowman replying  YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO!

Sorry for sounding biased but the Lesnar Vs Undertaker feud of 2015 is still the brawl to beat when it comes to sh!t like that!

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1258, July 10, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Roman Wanted Dead or alive

Y’all wrestling fans give me joke! Can ou believe it – y’all hate Roman Reigns so much that when he did that crazy sh!t you want him arrested for attempted murder? Like Braun didn’t try that sh!t a few months earlier? Like H**k H**@n didn’t try that sh!t with The Rock back in 2002? Like Austin didn’t try that sh!t with Triple H back in 2000? Sh!t – take it back further than that – that Brian Pillman sh!t in 1997 – HE’S GOT A GUN!!! You sensitive no pu$$y getting muthaf****az – GO TO YOUR ROOM! Jerk off to your Trish Stratus posters on your bedroom wall!

GRANT BODY-P!

As for Bertie… I’m no Paige fan – but domestic violence? Even if Paige wasn’t the victim – Paige could look at that like – that could have been me… I’d better watch out…

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RAW 1259! This road to Summerslams gonna be long bwoy!!!!

Steph Raw

Right – I got a pizza, and that nice cold drink I was telling you guys about in the Smackdown blog. LET’S DO THIS SH!T!

Dry music Big Cass! Come better than that!

Seriously Big Cass??!! You gonna go after everybody in the locker room? Even Brock? You sure you wanna do this Cass? You are the future of this sh!t? One day you are gonna be the Universal Champion? But you gotta get past Brock?!!! You will main event big BIG WrestleMania? Nobody can touch you? Somebody play that guitar riff PLEASE!!!!

WELL IT’S THE BIG SHOW!! Not exactly the guitar riff I was looking for but it’s a start!

The Big Show!!! Beating down Big Cass!!! Good lord Big Show is BEX!

Actually I DON’T doubt Big Cass – the dude reminds me of what would happen if Big Show & Edge was stirred in a dutchpot!

Wait a minute – Gallows & Anderson still have contracts? I know, fascinating isn’t it? I like how the Hardys are teasing the ‘Broken’ side to them! One thing about the WWE Universe (and the IWC) – do NOT tease and NOT follow through afterwards!

The question remains – will Broken Matt Hardy & Brother Nero make it in the WWE2K18 game?????

Gallows & Anderson knock off the Hardy Boyz! YES! I have never seen this broken gimmick in the flesh… only because I have disdain for TNA… Oh snap now The Revival are finishing off what’s left of the Hardy Boyz! Anyone would think they cashed in Money in the Bank the way these guys are going!

The what? The Mizzie Awards??? This segment better be good guys!!!

I get it – they just gonna award themselves awards and sh!t? Oh get the f**k outta here!! Guys – I challenge you to make me laugh…

…and you FAILED! But Miz should not be talking sh!t about Seth Rollins either! Glad he came out to deliver beatings on that muthaf***a!

Was that a tease of a Shield reunion? Guys you best reconcile. I remember Triple & HBK – they tried to kill each other yo! Look at em now!grant-body-p

Alexa Bliss is here! This is the part where my d!ck gets hard… unfortunately the results are negative… and it’s nothing to do with impotence! She does nothing for me guys I’m sorry!

GRANT BODY-P!

I guess Bayley is up next for the women’s title – she pinned Alexa in that tag team jump off…

Oh man RAW is slow-paced yo… it’s like – I’m only looking forward to what happens with Double R, Braun Strowman, Brock Lesnar & Samoa Joe… with that said – I’m gonna continue this sh!t in the morning.

20031587_10207542836249203_3914876468912208934_n

Welcome back, Welcome back, Welcome back, and I hope you are still joining in at home! It’s a new day, yes it is! I praised the lord, now I’m playing catch up. Watching that Cedric Alexander dude – he is a problem! And that Akira Tosawa dude – ha! ha! ha! he is sure to get another shot at Neville! Nice poetic justice I see there too!

So far I’m not feeling RAW… then suddenly there is something to look forward to NEXT WEEK??? We gonna find out who was on the phone to Kurt Angle sending him messages, selfies, naughty pics… come on you saddo hackers get in there and find out what the f**k is going on! You like reading dirt sheets! You like to find out sh!t before it happens!

You think it’s Stephanie????? Kurt did say ‘I love you’…

GRANT BODY-P!

3 guys coming through the crowd, one man in the ring surrounded – sounds familiar Seth Rollins???

Dean Ambrose is like – f**k that – we are the originators! we did that sh!t first! f**k outta here! Beating down The Miz with the steel chair! MARVELLOUS!

“You actually think you deserve a shot at this? You don’t deserve sh!t buddy!” (Brock to Roman Reigns)

OHHHHHH SHEEEEEEEET!!!!! Not sure if Brock is right or not but I know the fans liked that sh!t!

Now a triple threat match at Summerslam involving Samoa Joe? Now that could work!

“The reality is, I kicked your @$$ last night!” (Brock to Samoa Joe)

Er… Brock, the reality is, (and I can say it because I’m behind a laptop) you got your @$$ BUSS but you hit ONE F5 (and a few suplexes) and you won! More like Samoa Joe was f**k!n you up!

GRANT BODY-P!

Good lord! Samoa Joe talking to Brock like he’s a piece of sh!t and there is Double R in the background with a smirk on his face!

Next week – Samoa & Double R battle it out – winner fights Brock Lesnar at Summerslams… there is 5/6 weeks left of build up people… don’t expect this to be a simple outcome!

I think I shall head to my nearest GAME joint and pre-order my WWE2K18… You think Kurt Angle Vs Seth Rollins is a future match up waiting to happen? you know 2K games like to stir the pot!

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1258, July 3 , 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

So the Slammiversary popped off! and NEW! Unified TNA Champion (or whatever it’s called) ALBERTO EL PATRON! There he is running down the WWE in the middle of the ring… after all they did for you Bertie, if it wasn’t for them, you wouldn’t be f**k!n Paige. Ungrateful sh!t!

GRANT BODY-P!

Unlucky Cody Rhodes, you didn’t quite make history by holding both the ROH & IWGP titles… Good thing you didn’t, because my fellow JAMMS host and STC member Aydenn Wardle would have lost his sh!t and would have blew his load faster than Chicago bussin into Iesha in Poetic Justice.

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RAW 1258! We don’t sing Great Balls Of Fire over here?!!!! We sing FYYYREEE!! from Busta Rhymes!!!

Steph Raw

Right – I got half a pack of lockets, a hot drink of lemon and honey, plus a pack of jaffa cakes. Yes your Infamous Informer is not very well, and he doesn’t have Penny to sing him soft kitty… however this is Monday Night Raw, we ain’t tryna sleep!

Oh dear, my stream is f**k!n up! Maybe I’m not supposed to watch the World Wrestling Federation Live! I juts missed 15 minutes of this sh!t…

By the sounds of it, I missed Enzo talk sh!t in the ring for that long, and then ambush Big Cass from behind. Ah well!!! Onto Sasha sexy @$$ and Bayley potato @$$!

I know you’re the boss lady, but even you cannot contend with Alexa Blitch and the Bottom and the Breasts Nia Jax!

“This is MY division Sasha!” OH HELL NO! I changed my mind – Sasha – BEAT THAT B!TCH @$$! YES! A BANK STATEMENT! ALEXA BLITCH TAPPING OUT! BEEEEAAAATCH!!!!!

An exclusive interview with Brock and Joe? On the go home show before the PPV? You cannot be serious right now! THAT AIN’T HAPPENING!

Is this thing with Naom Dar/Cedric Alexander/Alicia Fox sh!t still going on??? I only expect this from Hollyoaks! Oh yeah – it’s a ‘male soap opera isn’t it??? Aww shucks…

Sheeeeeeet! Heath Slater been in the WWE game for 8 years! And he never won a title? Last time I check – he won the tag titles with Rhyno! Oh he means a singles title…

Miz says there will be no title matches… YES! KURK ANGLE will have something to say about that!

SERIOUSLY! Miz talking to Kurt Angle like that? This dude got no manners!!!! Heath Slater can fight Miz for the title NOW! If Miz holds down the title (which I think he will because he’s a b!tch hiding behind Curtis Axel & Bo Dallas) then he got Dean Ambrose to deal with at the Great Balls Of Fire joint!

The question remains – who thought up that PPV Title and who got that sh!t approved? Was it one of Vincent Kennedy’s favourite tunes of all time? If that was the case I wanna have my own wrestling promotion! I would call my PPVs ‘Da Mystery Of Chessboxing’… ‘House Of Flying Daggers’, ‘Assassination Day’, ‘Winter Warz’, ‘Bring The Pain’, ‘Brooklyn Zoo’, ‘4th Chamber’… should I go on????

GRANT BODY-P!

Come on Slater!!! WHUPP HIS @$$!!! THINK OF THE KIDS!!!! THE KIDDDDDSSSSS!!! YOU GOTTA PAY THAT CHILD SUPPORT MUTHAF***A!

Damnit! His blodclart Miztourage! Miz has always been a b!tch!

Did you hear that? John Cena advertising Tapout Body Sprays? Talking about feeding trolls and stopping internet warriors?? Here’s looking at you retarded 434 fools!

OH Sh!t – Titus may have a slogan for Apollo Crews – Crews Can’t Loose! But we talking BRAUN here! And Apollo just had a daughter! Apollo must protect her from monsters! They are everywhere! And above all else – keep her OFF THE POLE!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Great Balls Of fire

A 30- minute iron man tag team match between Sheamus/Cesaro & the Hardy Boyz at the Great Balls of Fire joint? WHOA! Sounds like WWE have been watching the Slammiversary and That G1 thing lately and got their study on!

Don’t you think that’s f**ked up people? Big Big Great Balls of Fire joint about to pop off and Finn Balor is not even fixed up in a match? But Raw made sure wrestling purists got their jerk on as he battles Cesaro here!

Wait a second, maybe he IS in a match at the PPV! I forgot about this Elias Samson dude… is that a bad thing?!

YES Wrestling fools don’t have a heart attack – Brock Lesnar IS SPEAKING TO SAMOA JOE! He is the best of the best of the best! You think Paul Heyman gonna say something stupid?

Hey Brock is laughing at this whole thing! He hasn’t gotta look for Joe! Joe gotta look for him!

Joe is on some – LET’S GO CHAMP! I like this! Considering it’s the go home show!

Joe is bex!!! Brock isn’t! You would think it’s the other way around! This is great!

Just when I thought Braun was getting better competition in Apollo Crews! For a minute Crews was killing Strowman! But Strowman hit the running powerslam, 1, 2 and – WAIT! He picked Crews head up! UH-OH!!!! DOUBLE R GET DOWN HERE FAST! THIS IS INJUSTICE!grant-body-p

He just dropped a second running powerslam! took his head off the canvas before the 3 and licked his forehead! OH MY GOD That’s some Wyatt sh!t right there!

After 3 Running Powerslams, it’s over… hey Crews… it could have been worse you feel me?

He just dashed Crews in the ambulance and told the driver to get going! But the driver nah move!

It’s DOUBLE R!!!! DUNA! DUNA! DUNA! DUNN-DUNN! How can you guys NOT LIKE this dude? YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!

UUUUUUOOOOOOOOAHHHHH! Spear Strowman off the stage into tables – BLAOW!!!!! But how is he gonna drag that carcass into the ambulance? That’s what I wanna know!

Strowman still on his feet! BLODCLART!

Yo, I watched Wonder Woman recently. That Gal Gadot though! OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Some lucky muthaf****a married her quicktime! She is FLIRT ON SIGHT I’m telling you! Watch STC’s Edd Mulhall… he’s on the case… he knows where all the naked pics is at! Personally, I don’t think Gal Gadot got any naked pics… I think Edd uses photoshop and is very efficient at it!

GRANT BODY-P!

Wonder Woman

 

JAMMS

Monday Night Raw #1257, June 26 , 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Mae Young Classic

Let me get this right so I can understand this: You have Lita, one of the pioneering women in wrestling, knows her wrestling sh!t, one of the most beloved from your ever-loving attitude era, (and fine as a muthaf***a too) then you have Jim Ross, fired more times from WWE than you have changed your dirty brief, and you there you are STILL COMPLAINING ON THE INTERNET? Roy Lucier – TALK TO YOUR PEOPLE in your International Wrestling Fanbase group. Tell them that I said – SHUT THE F**K UP!

 

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1257! We only deal with the REAL over here!!! Wrestling thoughts in its RAWEST FORM!

Steph Raw

 

Looks like Lavar Ball & Lonzo Ball of the L.A. Lakers is in the house!!! Miz TV though? Is that wise? This I gotta see! I hope The Miz doesn’t say anything slick!

Double R starting the show! Is he still the #1 contender or so he claims?

Los Angeles wants Strowman to come out like – BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNN!!!!! I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!

Double R has now put respect on Samoa Joe’s name! Safe to say Samoa won’t trouble Double R again!

Who called the ambulance to pick up the people? Must have been the Los Angeles crowd!

BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!!!!! He man handled Double R! Threw him against the ambulance!!!! Then dashed him inside and mercifully, it drove away! The fans must have got their money’s worth now surely! They can go home happy now – that’s what WWE is about right? Putting smiles on people’s faces!

GRANT BODY-P!

I like that!!! Finn Balor doing his entrance and the Hardy Boyz also spreading their arms out in unison! Los Angeles like – DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!!! That would be a wicked combination actually – Brother Nero, Broken Matt and the Demon Balor! Sheamus, Cesaro and Elias Samson would have no chance!

At this moment wrestling fans watching must be losing their sh!t because the commentators are not talking about the match – and promoting some film with some jabroni named Josh Duhamel…

Talking of movie productions… this Goldust/R-Truth sh!t doesn’t really entertain me. I want Goldust to go back to his cumse-cumsa sh!t that cracked me the f**k up back in 1996, after all – he said the ‘golden age is back’! And finally they are gonna clash – so no Shadfather – it’s not ending up on a pre-show! You are a funny muthaf***a!

Oh dear – R-Truth is bex! You know how I know that? dude ain’t spitting those bars to make the head shake… only to get buss arse by Goldust, with his own cameraman as well??? That’s what you jabronies do when you see a fight – record it on your gidgets gadgets and upload to WorldStar!

GRANT BODY-P!

Let me get this right – A women’s gauntlet jump off? Winner stays on sh!t? Winner faces Alexa Blitch? You know what that is don’t you – trying to better what the Smackdown ladies have got (The superior and better looking and sexier ladies I might add- sorry Sasha – sorry Nia!)

The Big Baller Brand on Miz TV???? Uh-Oh… this gonna trigger Titus and Apollo Crews… watch them come out…

Where is the Miz going? He can’t be on the Big Baller Brand???!!!!

Wait a minute – Miz can’t call himself the Michael Jordan of this wrestling sh!t? DISRESPECT!

Dean Ambrose speaks the truth – nobody got bigger balls than him – they are deep in Renee Young pu$$y! Like God dayuuuuuum!!!! Like OWWWWWWWWW!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

The way Lavar Ball was going on – He look like he was gonna drop a mean clothesline on The Miz b!tch @$$!

Quick message to you wrestling b!tches who were complaining about that segment – remember – celebrities have been gracing the WWE ring since 1985 – starting all the way from Muhammed Ali. So simply put – SHUT THE F**K UP!

SEAN PRICE - STFU

Well at least with Big Cass – you haven’t gotta ask – Why Cass Why? And he didn’t have to give an explanation! We knew from marning!

Enzo still seems to be in a good mood! Los Angeles are still feeling him!

A man to man talk? Why is Big Cass still got that music? Give him that generic rock sh!t! It worked for Braun!

Enzo still thinks he and Cass is family! Oh boy, this ain’t gonna end well….

Los Angeles crowd dropping the What? Chant…on Cass… Hold on – Cass is sorry? I dunno man… Mark Henry still has that award-winning performance…

I’m still not convinced… there you go – BLAOW!!!! Clothesline to Enzo on the stage!!!! I was just waiting!!! Where is that ambulance at – we might need it back!

Cass just picked up Enzo on some gorilla press sh!t and threw him down the ramp onto the concrete floor! That was vintage NXT writing right there! Remember when Samoa Joe did that sh!t to Finn Balor? THE GRANT SAYS THIS: After Mark Henry’s retirement speech, nothing can fool me anymore.

There’s the face the wrestling fans will accept to lead the company – Seth Rollins! I can’t lie to you – I cannot relate to Rollins! Oh wait there… the video game thing… Ok maybe I do! He would mash me up on sports games, but put on Tekken…. Seth doesn’t stand a chance!

Can somebody please tell me why we are seeing pointless spoilers with the women picking out which order they enter the gauntlet match? Ah foolishness that!

Oh no – here he com- whoa!!! Samoa Joe using stealth moves using that Coquina clutch submission on Lesnar! Well Heyman was right – we would be talking about this the next day!

Paul Heyman says this will be a long out fight to the death! No 1 minute 26 second thing! I hope that is a SPOILER HEYMAN!

Nia Jax is looking KRISSER by the day! I’m telling you – she is spending that WWE money for real! She using that performance centre to its fullest potential! OWWWWWWW! F**K OUTTA HERE with that Alexa Blitch sh!t! One of these days I will ask you guys what features you find attractive on Alexa!grant-body-p

Bayley gotta run the gauntlet first! Should be no problem – she won an ironman match!

Here’s my champion right here – Nia Jax! That BOTTOM… that BIG TICK THIGHS! them BREASSSSTSSS…. aaaaahhhh….

You can’t say that about Alexa and her flat body!

GRANT BODY-P!

Bayley is out the game! Next up – Mickie James! You think her lesbian like powers will work on Nia?

Not this time! Dana Brooke – she has no chance! Make an example out of his fool Nia!

“Emma is impressive on the instagram” – I don’t know about that I’m not following her!

Dayuuuum Nia is killin em! Here comes Sasha! Just like UpUpDownDown -You gotta face the boss Nia! Sasha I love you but this time I love Nia just a little bit more!

Win or lose – this is a display of Nia’s endurance and stamina! I LIKE THAT!

GRANT BODY-P!

Congratulations Sasha! That was a case of whoever loses – I WIN.

Now I turn my attention to STC & PWL’s Ian Anthony Cooper. DUDE – I told you – STOP READING THE DIRT SHEETS – STOP BELIEVING EVERYTHING THAT STUPID 434 PAGE SAYS. There you are posting all over STC and your page that Stone Cold Steve Austin was gonna appear. 434 Made You Look silly yo… what’s sad is I respect you but you traded your soul for riches…

JAMMS

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