Tag Archives: AJ Styles.

Monday Night Raw #1203, June 12, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

It’s showtime!

She ain’t got no Money In The Bank
She be walkin round actin all stank
Now she at the party lookin at me
Hopin she could get saved by me
I’m lookin at her like I ain’t tryin to save that girl (NO SIR!!!!)
I ain’t tryin to save that girl (NO SIR!!!)
I ain’t tryin to save that girl
She got her hand open like I’m finna pay that girl!

In other news, Insane Championship Wrestling is coming to Smack Talk Centre’s home town of Wolverhampton Nov 4… well THE GRANT SAYS HE’S NEVER GOING! Y’all can enjoy yourselves…I don’t support that narstyness, one man take out his tings and put it in next man face and jerk it at the crowd, me nah pay mi munny to see a man privates! NO SAH!

GRANT BODY-P!!!!!

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RAW #1203! It’s about that time again people! THE RAW BEFORE MUNNY INNAH BANK! I GOT MY PEANUTS AND ICE CREAM… LET’S DO THIS SH!T!!!

It’s been called the biggest Money In The Bank this year???? I know they have to hype it up but that’s huge! Considering how the 2011 one was built up! It was like WWE was facing an apocalypse!

WWF PROPA TINGZThe New Day might be an addict for sneakers but I’m not so sure they can run through Enzo & Cass, the Vaudevillians and the Bullet Club so easy!

This is what we came to see! The New Day in a verbal sword skills contest against Enzo & Cass!

Enzo can’t talk about ‘Francesca’ like that???? She ain’t a slut like Stephanie????? Did someone throw the PG rating out the window?

I find it amusing how the Vaudevillians claim they are ‘quite manly’ when their wrestling attire looks too tight….!!

Did I just hear the bullet club be branded ‘SAWFT’???? I think I did! Do these guys know who they are talking to? They put the Japanese wrestlers on notice!

The New Day… 295 days as World Wrestling Federation tag team champions! They hang on another month, and they beat the record of Brian Kendrick & Paul London! With that said, I’m backing New Day ALL THE WAY  at the Munny Innah Bank!

Sometimes it shows that too much clowning doesn’t win you matches… Bullet Club – the only serious tag team, hit Kingston with the Magic Killer – BLAOW! BALL GAME!

This week! In the Ambrose Asylum – Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns! The Shield reunited! Well sort of… this segment right here could tell the story!

Now some of you wrestling fools actually made a meme and it looked like this:

foolish meme

See this is why you fans are NOT GOOD BOOKERS. You are NOT GOOD BUSINESS PEOPLE. Seth & Roman are in a feud currently for the World Wrestling Federation Championship this Sunday with Deano possibly in the middle. So how the f**k are the Shield on the same page? A match of this magnitude should be saved for a Summerslam or more likely Survivor Series…USE YOUR BRAAAAAAAAINNN!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh HELL NO! What is Ka- er I mean Glenn doing in his Sunday School trousers???? Actually he gave me joke – he gave Shane a letter of recommendation from The Undertaker????!!!! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH NOW THAT’S FUNNY!

Oh dear! Rusev with an ambush attack on Titus! He’s tryna take Titus out the game early! He put the belt in Titus face like ‘you never gonna get this sh!t!’ THAT’S how to build a US Title match!

mitb 2016

Ok let’s reunite The Shield!!!! Er… sort of!

Looks like Seth is not such a party pooper after all! He brought up all the good times! Got the crowd chanting Boo-tista, all sorts of sh!t!

Seth is giving Roman props! Why can’t you fans give him props! And Seth keeps it 100!

Great comeback promo by Roman!!!! You still not gonna give him props?

Even Deano just hit them with the warning! He could cash in his cheque and beat the both of em! He just hit the Dirty Deeds on Roman – BLAOW! Your dream match could well happen this Sunday at the Munny Innah Bank! It ain’t my dream match… my dream match happened April 1, 2012 in Miami FLORIDA! And it involved a special referee, a Cell and a man I hated in the attitude era and a man who is and always will ne the don of DONS!

GRANT BODY-P!

More flirting between Deano & Stephanie!!!! If anything happens… Renee Young… you know where to find me! On di twitter! @MZATheInfamous!

Question – if Paige keeps yelling ‘THIS IS MY HOUSE!’, does she pay the rent on that wrestling ring? Answers On A Postcard please!

OH SNAP!!!! Paige just pinned Charlotte! Right after Dana Brooke threw Charlotte’s fine self back in the ring! Get Paige a title match against Charlotte on Smackdown and make Paige lose! I wanna see Charlotte break the record of 301 days damnit! Then, I’ll long d!ck her, and break her ovaries!

GRANT BODY-P!

MUNNY INNAH BANK JUMP OFF MATCH! Sheamus Vs Apollo Crews! But Sheamus, kick down Wack Ryder’s teeth so far down his throat that Wack Ryder can’t say WOO WOO WOO any more!

Apollo Crews just rushed Sheamus!!!! He went in and beat out his blodclart!

Good lord what a counter technique into a sunset flip pin by Zayn! Even Cesaro wasn’t ready for that sh!t! Now to those who say wrestling is ‘dying’, get out the attitude era and shut the f**k up! In fact go to your room! Go and watch E3 or something…

GRANT BODY-P!!!

ufc20 mitb

FOR REAL???? This match is 15 years in the making? THE WWE GUY VS THE TNA GUY! It’s a contract signing!!! WrestleMania quality according to Mike Cole! Yeah man forget Las Vegas, let’s go back to Dallas Texas! Fill that muthaf***a up to 100,000+ again! Let’s do this WrestleMania 32.5 sh!t!!! Cena mentioning all other promotions where Styles won more than 15 championships! All we need is Undertaker! Brock Lesnar! Triple TEEF! The Rock! Goldberg!

Oh snap! There are two contracts… if AJ Styles signs the one with The Club at ringside… but he would be a member of the B!TCH CLUB! Cena you outta order & bright!

WHOA! AJ STYLES claims he would have been the man if he was in the WWE 15 years ago! I’m not so sure AJ because that dirty Triple Teef was the champ with Evolution! You probably would have been on Smackdown or something! You gotta keep it real yo!

Check it out! If Kevin Owens and Bertie cannot co-exist, then the Lucha Dragons would take their place in the munny innah bank ladder match! Oh well Lucha fans, you can have hope right?

Hang on – Kevin Owens was gonna walk out the match? I thought he wanted the briefcase? every week he’s like – That’s MY CONTRACT!

So hold on… Zayn is on commentary, Kevin Owens wants in, Bertie finds himself as timekeeper, so does that make Cesaro the special guest referee for this Deano vs Jericho match?

Nope – he gonna be the ring announcer… No Shane!!!! Referee would have been so much better!

Looks like Glenn is out of the running to run Smackdown as well… I don’t know why Shane didn’t put the testicle incident behind him – he’s a proud father of three isn’t he???

GRANT BODY-P!

Kevin Owens chatting a bit too much, and Deano slaps the headphones off Owens headtop!

We knew ruckus would break loose, but Cesaro is a joker isn’t he? fighting in his good suit and dark glasses like his name is Agent Smith!

Meanwhile Jericho climbs the ladder and claims the briefcase! Problem is, it was on RAW… YOU STUPID IDIOT!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1191, March 21, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I stand before you an ashamed wrestling fan. Yeah I said it. I am disgusted to be apart of this community. I put it to you. I’m not a father but I am a proud uncle. Suppose one day I decided to take my niece and nephew to a local indie wrestling show, and the performers act like they gonna drop the people’s elbow but instead takes down his draws and reveals his sexual reproductive system for everyone to see, knowing that it’s filmed? Doesn’t look good does it? SORT YOUR SH!T OUT JABRONIES!

In other news, Sting denies any form of retirement… at least for now… looks like my STC From The UK co-host’s celebrations were premature…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW #1191! Have you heard of Fifth Harmony? Nah, me neither, but I googled em… they can come to WrestleMania ANYTIME!

WWF PROPA TINGZI wonder why Stephanie looks so happy? Oh yeah I forgot – I GOT IN THAT PU$$Y And turned into the chojin!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh dear Triple is not at RAW! We got 60 seconds to get refund! I didn’t put my hand in my pocket – did you???

Sheeeet! Roman Reigns doesn’t come down the stairs anymore! You jabronies hope he turns heel… I told you last week – ABANDON HOPE! What you think he’s gonna do – I already beat up Stephanie’s pum-pum!

How did Roman Reigns manage to silence Stephanie??? I mean I was gonna use a pillow but…

Stephanie tried to slap him! Roman used his kung fu and blocked it! “Now I’m the authority!”

You are still deluded… aren’t you? How is a ‘Double Turn’ (between Reigns & Triple) gonna work? Please wrestling fans… USE YOUR BENEFIT OF INTELLECT!

Crack open the Jaffa Cakes and the Supermalt – AJ Styles vs Kevin Owens! Y’all ready for some wrestling??? Sure you are… LET’S DO THIS SH!T!

How did Styles kick out of Kevin Owens frog splash? Er it’s very simple really… he used his chi and wrestling instincts and combined his mental and physical prowess and kicked out at 2! YES AJ Styles can do it too muthaf***a!

How does chanting for AJ Styles make you LOSE the match? If you are not the fans and you are Chris Jericho! You guys need to sort a stipulation for this sh!t!

Where is Ziggler going? In fact where is The Miz going? All of a sudden these muthaf***az wanna test Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Title? I thought Sami Zayn had beef with Owens?

Here he is! Mr Zayn! Ok just throw all these muthaf***az in a ladder match for big BIG WrestleMania!

Well KO is hoping that those three jabronies can battle it out for the chance… Well, Ziggler, Zayn and Miz could make for a fantastic contest!

Talking of jabronies… are you STILL negative about WrestleMania??? Are you still throwing ignorant memes? Well meme no more… first Mick Foley gives Deano a bat with barbed wire, now Terry Funk gives Deano a chainsaw???? Er Brock… I never thought I’d say this but… YUH GOOSE COOK!

Is it me or Kevin Owens sound intimidated when he was speaking to Stephanie? HAHAAHAHA!

New Day Rocks so much that even the League of Nations have to laugh at their promos! New Day Killing em! They just said to Sheamus – they could have named him ‘Stephen’! Er… that IS HIS NAME RIGHT??!!!

Oh no! As Rusev is getting beat down by Big E, Xavier sends for Francesca II! I think it’s safe to say that the New Day have turned face under our noses folks!

Wait a minute… Vincent Kennedy has an announcement regarding Hell In Ah Cell? Ok this is the part where I get nervous… not around the Wyatt fools though… they talking sh!t as usual…sounds like at least for the moment, Braun Strowman wants to test Deano… if Deano is bringing his new gifts with him, Braun Strowman will become Doodoo Brown Strowman!

GRANT BODY-P!

Big BIG WrestleMania 32 LOGO

By calling yourselves ‘Voltron’ Social Outcasts… you have insulted the Wu-Tang Clan. That is something you just don’t do!

NOW Look what you done! FYYYYRE!!! IT’S KANE!!!! Dashed those Social idiots out! Then chokeslammed The Big show from the top ropes – BLAOW! There’s my dude for the Andre the Giant Battle Royal jump off this year!

WHAAAART? Fandango still works here? I suppose he gotta get that WrestleMania money… that’s it Jericho…. KILL HIM… wouldn’t it be crazy if AJ Styles came out chanting ‘Y2J’ and throw him off his game and have Fandango win? It would be HUGE!

WHOA!!! What the rarse did I just say! AJ Styles chants ‘Y2JACK@$$!’ but Jericho was still able to win… come on now stipulation!!!!

“I’d love to see that at WrestleMania…” NO YOU DON’T MIKE COLE! You saw it already how many blodclart times!

Yo they are hyping up this Hell In A Cell match with all these promos and what both Shane and Undertaker can do… aaaah sh!t the hype is real people! Whoever Loses – I WIN! Shane wins… he takes control of the company. Undertaker wins, I TAKE CONTROL of theGrant Body Pcompany! Whatever the outcome… I WIN!!!!

Hold up – How come Kevin Owens is switching this up! How come he’s announcing Stardust, Sin Cara & Zack Ryder???

Uh-Oh! Sami Zayn gonna deal with the case! Miz & Ziggler are on their way too! Yes – throw the lot of em in the ladder match! DO IT STEPHANIE!

Everybody needs a WrestleMania pay check right???

Calling it now – Either Owens will retain, or Sami Zayn becomes the next Intercontinental champion…. the feud will continue into a personal one on one situation between the two at the Backlash joint. (Extreme Rules Grant) – yeah yeah I know! For those jabronies who think Zack Ryder gonna win… ABANDON HOPE!

Check it out, Stephanie calls Triple to pick her up, they about to leave the building. Just as the car pulls off, look who’s waiting… Roman Reigns! He wants to beat down Triple’s Blodclart! Roman is so lucky it wasn’t 15 years ago when Triple had 10 men behind him! But makes his escape! He gonna get his hammer for sure!

So while Natalya and Charlotte compete in the ring, and Sasha and Becky are squabbling on commentary, lets throw up a pic of my wife who got away… look at her soul glow!

Naomi glow

While R-Truth fights Bubba Ray Dudley, we got breaking news from the bossman of the BDSIR NETWORK – MIKE KNOXXX! He has a special interview with the man called Kevin Owens! The World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Champion! It is a CANNOT MISS episode! Tuesday 5pmEST 9pmUK – DROP THE BOMB ON EM! (Download links available after the show!)

Mike Knoxxx KO

UH-OH!!! VINCENT KENNEDY IS HERE!!! This is it… this is where I get nervous with the announcement…

WHOA! Shane could be Undertaker’s most formidable WrestleMania opponent??? More than Brock? Triple? MICHAELS???? Are you sure Vince?

Now Vincent Kennedy has said it now! Vince’s b!tch? If Undertaker doesn’t win, it will be his ‘last’ WrestleMania??? What does that mean? Undertaker retires? Or Undertaker just cannot compete at WrestleMania? Oh F**k… I knew this was gonna happen!

Suddenly I cannot write anymore… give me a moment… or a week for that matter…

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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Thanks to The Infamous Informer. For more Combat Sport Check us out at www.cageamateursuk.com

Monday Night Raw #1190, March 14, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I really like this part of the year… you know why? Not just because big BIG WrestleMania is coming, but our friends over in the states have turned their clocks forward. That means from now until WrestleMania we can watch RAW an hour earlier. That means all being well, less yawning, more marking out, and if things get a bit stale, there’s always babestation!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW #1190! Have you jabronies finished complaining about Deano Ambrose foot not underneath the rope? You really don’t want Triple Vs Reigns don’t you? ARE YOU THAT RETARDED?

WWF PROPA TINGZWord!!! We just gonna kick off with the World Wrestling Federation tag team titles? The New Day have destroyed the League of Nations on the twitter and the YouTube!

Shout out to Mike Knoxxx of the BDSIR NETWORK…as much as I love the New Day, there are certain aspects of them I DON’T LIKE. The unicorn stupidness on their head, twerking in guys faces, the rainbow on their T-shirts, and the cereal – Booty-Os… don’t get me wrong, it’s fortified with vitamins and iron, good for the kids, but to have kids say – ‘we are eating booty-os doesn’t sit well with me either… very cumse-cumsa tendencies… That’s not right!

Interesting… Xavier Woods is representing for the New Day in this tag team championship contest… I’m a bit nervous here… League of Nations could take it here… because Kofi doesn’t play the trombone! Oh No…

It’s all good! Xavier pinned Rusev and held the tights! New Day still champions but League of Nations bex! They mash-up The New Day! hey guys! The New Day just turned face… and we didn’t notice!

DAMN YOU LEAGUE OF NATIONS!!! But I gotta keep it real…by the LONS beating down the New Day like that, they gotta get that heat back, be relevant again as that destructive heel force. Looks like New Day need a 4th dude to join them! But they dun treated Mark Henry bad… Yo look no further than the Man In the Purple Suit himself! The Infamous Informer wouldn’t mind putting his timberland boots in Wade Barrett’s nose! One condition: I don’t do that booty shaking unicorn sh!t! I’m NOT THAT GUY, I DON’T DO DRUGS!

Unlucky Ambrose… after all you were dealing with TRIPLE TEEEEEEF! He paid the referee off… that’s my story, but I don’t complain about that sh!t… I keep it moving… but aaaaaaah sh!t!!!! That guitar riff! BRRROCCCK LESSSNARRR!!!  Grab the steel chair Deano!

Looks like Deano come prepared! He had a crow bar in his inside pocket! HERE WE GO!!!

Or maybe not… Brock is thinking about it! he doesn’t wanna get cunk in his head top!

Two shell shocks to Sin Cara – BLAOW!!! You don’t think Ryback is eyeballing the US Title???

Well I be damned! Ryback is on some David & Goliath sh!t for the big BIG WrestleMania!

Now what I wanna know is, why does Stephanie McMahon wanna address me? Does she have a steak cooked well done for me? Am I in for what could happen next?

HAPPY STEAK & BJ DAY GUYS! GRANT BODY-P!

Until I see official celebration cards in Clintons, that is NOT an official holiday! That was made up by some fat IWC muthaf***a who can’t get no pu$$y and it was rubbed in his face a month earlier!

Oh no! It is the Attitude era again! Stephanie is in a glorious mood, and Triple is gonna start his promo… I am the game-errrr… I beat Dean Ambrose within an inch of his life-errr, and Stephanie’s gonna cook me a fat steak and give me hed-errr!

Oh man.. Triple is hitting it on the head here with this ‘hope’ sh!t! It’s true – you jabronies had hope that Deano was gonna win… you deluded fools!

HOLY SH!T Triple is going in!!!! GET EM TRIPLE TEEF! I love when he throws shots at you fools! The man is talking about people’s wife and kids! Talking about how they live on hope! I LOVE THIS!

WHOA! TRIPLE TEEF GUARANTEED THAT ROMAN REIGNS WILL FAIL AT WRESTLEMANIA! But why did Dolph Ziggler’s music hit??? Oh well, join John Morrison in your future endeavour fool!

GRANT BODY-P!

“You love Dolph Ziggler right?” Nah not really Triple, I can’t stand the f**ka!

Ok Triple – this Ziggler is getting outta orda & bright… I’m not sure where Stephanie is going with this proposal…

WHOA!!!! Stephanie gonna put Ziggler up against Triple Teef himself! Once again… y’all got hope… ABANDON HOPE! Triple – USE DI HAMMER! I’ve never rooted for Triple so much!

Look how little Renee Young is to the League Of Nations! They just challenged the New Day on some gang warfare business! Yo NEW DAY – HOLLA AT ME! I know Mishima Kung Fu! I have my woman on my side! LET’S DO THIS! Tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

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YES! TEAM BADDER THAN BAD mash-up Brie Bella! But according to Lana, it’s Brie that has beef with her… but enough of that sh!t… when I saw Naomi in that ring… I had to play that Raheem DeVaughn tune again.. or that Torae tune -Override when he says this –

When I’m alone in my room, sometimes I stare at the wall
And think of you pinned against it, we getting it on
While I’m getting you off, I’m on top
You telling me to do everything except stop
We drop and roll, it’s a fire we cannot control
I’m in deep past your cervix and served ‘til I got your soul
Lock and load and then BANG!

Let me guess, Team Bad and Lana Vs Brie, Alicia & Paige at Big BIG WrestleMania? I can ryde to that! Let’s throw a pic of Lana… for NO REASON!

Lana for no reason

YOOOO! Mick Foley passing the torch… or should I say… the 2×4 with barbed wire to Dean Ambrose??? To aid him in his battle against BROCK LESNAR???? Ok if you are not ready for this big BIG WRESTLEMANIA – YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM! SLAP YOURSELF, UNFRIEND ME, UNFOLLOW ME, because clearly, me and you are not on the same wave length! I happen to be more attractive to the women than you as well! My d!ck is bigger than yourrrrrrs!

GRANT BODY -P!

AAAAH SH!T! Here we go! Dolph Ziggler Vs Triple TEEF! If Ziggler wins… he can choose a match of his choice for big big WrestleMania! I should root for Ziggler… but I want Triple to use the hammer!!!!

Big BIG WrestleMania 32 LOGO

Yes Triple! Brukk up Ziggler’s shoulder! Then… UUUUUUUSE DI HAMMER!

Ziggler is fighting valiantly! Stephanie is at ringside! If in doubt Steph, you know what to do!

I told you muthaf***az! ABANDON HOPE! Triple H with the pedigree – BLAOW! Ziggler does not surv- wait a minute! Roman Reigns coming down the stairs – No – he chose the ramp! and Reigns is BEX!!!! He busted Triple Teef open! He’s box him up all over the ring! He was gonna use the TV screen and buss up Triple! But even The Uso brudda and Mark Henry had  to restrain him and told him to let Triple live til WrestleMania! This has to be No disqualification! A normal wrestling contest is no good!

Big ups to Jacqueline! Now in the Hall Of Fame! My moms will be pleased! She used to love Jacqueline! And I love her too!

Jacqueline-HOF-645x370

Ok lets see where they go with this Jericho & AJ Styles situation… Jericho done bunn up the Y2AJ T-shirt… you better put a stipulation on this muthaf***a!

Oh dear… Jericho is bex that everybody chanting for AJ styles… why can’t Jericho be bex when everyone was chanting for CM Princess Peach B!tch last week?

AJ drops the phenomenal forearm on Jericho – BLAOW! Looks like WWE want to push that as the supermove as opposed to the Styles Clash… not saying it’s banned… but I think WWE want Styles to limit the Styles Clash for special occasions,at least in my estimation.

OH NO! Here we go! Vincent Kennedy believes The Undertaker is his instrument of destruction! Here he comes! OH SH!T! Er… Vince… LEAVE THE RING!

What? Vincent Kennedy just told the Undertaker not to put his hands on him again???!!! Clearly Vince’s 70-year-old @$$ forgot what happened to him in 1998… or 2003 for that matter!

Let’s see what Shane gotta say!

Maybe he said too much! “I might be Vince’s son, but you (Undertaker) are Vince’s b!tch!”

The Undertaker! grabs Shane by the neck! But Shane is quick on his feet! Rights and lefts by Shane! Undertaker feels nothing! Throws Shane back in the corner! Shane still too quick! Vincent Kennedy pushes Shane into Undertaker! CHOKESLAM – BLAOW! Vince likes what he sees! Undertaker snaps his head to Vince! Vince leaves the ring! WISE MOVE! Undertaker, cuts his throat to Vince! OH LAWWWWD!

I don’t care if this match makes sense or not – Shane – kid you gon lose! Y’all muthaf***az wishing for a new era… you gonna get the same sh!t for the next 10 years regardless of the winner!

ABANDON HOPE!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

NEW STC LOGO 2015

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Many Thanks to the Infamous Informer for the use of his excellent scribing

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Monday Night Raw #1185, February 8, 2016

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!
Danny Bryan retirement

THAT’S F**KED UP.

However fans still have hope… why? Because after Mark Henry, it is very difficult to tell if a retirement is real. Mark Henry raised the bar in 2013. Plus, Daniel Bryan recently released a commercial about how he overcame adversity. Also it’s strategy to get those ratings up too for everybody to tune in.

On the other hand… his recent picture of him in a restaurant shows him sporting a trimmed beard… which indicates he finally got in the chair after Vincent Kennedy yelled at him to do so. That’s what he’s known for… #RespectTheBeard right? So why has he trimmed it???

If the retirement is true… it’s gonna be as heartbreaking as Edge’s retirement was…

…AND THAT’S F**KED UP!!!

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GRANT BODY -P!

RAW #1185! I am the Infamous Informer, I promise I won’t cry, unless it’s the lord’s name in vain if I was in bed with YOU KNOW WHO!

WWF PROPA TINGZAaah sh!t this is how it starts…. A Danny Bryan tribute video… this is a sad day for wrestling fans, particularly those on the internet… their darling is about to leave the building…

Daniel Bryan chants already… maybe he shouldn’t have announced it on twitter… this could potentially f**k up RAW…

We gonna start this sh!t with a contract signing… I think we should get all this wrestling sh!t over with and leave Danny til last… because as soon as he comes out, nothing else matters…

Well Roman is right, let’s get this over with as Deano wants to punch Brock in the mouth corner…

Oh dear that didn’t go to well – Ambriose steps up to Brock,  F5 to Ambrose – BLAOW!!!! Then Triple’s music hit… Brock on one side of the ramp, Triple on the stage, staring each other down… Aaah sh!t it’s about to go down!

And before this blog is finalisd and sent out to Fox Sports 1340am Hopewell, and Cage Amateurs UK, Deano swears he gonna get Brock Lesnar and mash him up!! Yo Deano… take a steel chair with you!

What? Owens Vs Ziggler AGAIN???? What is this the 3rd match in a row??? That’s it – I’m DUN… show me something different! Fight backstage, get the cars out have a good old parking lot brawl… I’m not watching this wrestling sh!t!

Here’s a pic of Gabi/Raquel… for NO REASON!

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Just think… Gabi could have been on Total Divas… but WWE chose another blondie… as much as I hate Paige, she is right – that Mandy better know how to wrestle… because Gabi got dissed for Mandy… y’all upset about Danny retiring… I’m still comprehending this!

GRANT BODY-P!

The only thing good about that match was Ziggler using the ropes to get the win over Owens, and Owens acting a b!tch all over the ring!

Aaaah sh!t! Usos Vs The New Day in a tables match… NO…. SAVE THE TABLES!!!

Er… Bubba – you are DEAD WRONG about the WWE Universe not liking The New Day… but now you want to involve the tables in this??? No… is that petition still going??? Please! Anything but this! Put Lana on a pole – anything but TABLES!!! NO!!!

Official – Charlotte defends her World Wrestling Federation Divas Championship against Brie Bella… but with Danny Bryan retiring… will this have a profound effect on the outcome of the match? I still see Charlotte retaining…and my Sasha Banks theory stands…

I love supporting my black wrestlers but I can’t ride with Alicia Fox again – Charlotte – mash her up! I respect Alicia’s tenure and her role in the company but that’s about it..

Look at Ric Flair… you know he’s itching to cause trouble… now Flair, keep your hands to yourself… I know Brie is fine as a muthaf***a!

Charlotte looked like she was gonna figure 8 the weave out of Alicia!

GRANT BODY – P!!

Big up AJ Styles! He kicked down The Miz in his money maker! Knocked his teeth into his throat! And yet, The Miz continues to run his mouth…

OH SH!T! Jericho just came through and changed sh!t! F**K MizTV, no one likes that sh!t! Send for the Jeritron 65000!

Miz – you still here??? Jericho – kick him in his mouth already!

Has Miz made a valid point though? That it’s burning Jericho’s soul like Ether that AJ Styles defeated him in a wrestling contest?

Meanwhile, turns out it will be an 8-man tables match… The Dudley Boyz join The Usos, The New Day gotta find somebody else to join them… any takers?

Well, seems like you wrestling jabronies like Ryback in his new attire… you like his brief… I hear the Goldberg chants which don’t help either… The Infamous Informer does not give a f**k about his attire…  what’s the saying – you cannot polish a turd?

GRANT BODY-P!!

I’m playing – I like the Ryback… always have from the jump. I still believe he can make it back to main event status… just like I do with Wade Barrett.

See what I mean? You cannot polish a turd! Ryback cannot manage the Wyatt bwoy dem… now they gonna harvest him… unless Big Show & Kane combine their force!

OH MY DAYS BIG E JUST KILLED IT! The New Day, working on the tables… Big E… singing like it’s the slavery days! Like it’s 1555!!!! Then Renee Young just had to show up showing legs and sh!t asking if they found a 4th partner… OHHHHHHH! She is sexy as f**k and she knows it!

It’s a shame The New Day are not continuing the #SaveTheTables campaign…

Social Outcasts Vs Titus…. ok let’s switch to babestation let’s see who’s on to entertain me…I am him

You guys like Hannah Martin? She aiiiight…. she’s not quite ‘Charmaine Sinclair’ for me though… I like older women…

Dayuuuum Ambrose is going in!!! Calling him SAWFT???? Saying his F5 was ‘nothing?’ good lord! This reminds me of Jeff Hardy and The Undertaker in a way… Jeff didn’t stop at The Undertaker until Big Evil had to respect him!

It’s like Ambrose put a red ring over his own head and now it’s the Rage of Lesnar on some God Of War sh!t!

Reigns music hits! Reigns is just sauntering… Ambrose recovers enough to punch Lesnar right in ‘Minnesota’! Oh man…

Why is Ambrose f**k!n with someone who broke the streak??? Who destroyed John Cena to the point Cena cannot main event ever again?

By the way – who was it who said Bertie was injured? Aaah never mind F**k all that – Shout out to the Wrestling Summit – they have something important they need to say…

Love the Lucha Dragon, Love Bertie & Rusev… but this has come to my attention…

I haven’t done a wrestling video blog in months, but I can see myself doing one of these when it’s Undertaker’s time…

Holy f**k – SASHA BANKS! Those hot pants, knee high boots, she might have beaten Bayley at Mortal Kombat but I’d love for her to try and ‘beat’ me!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh man… the match at Fast Lane gonna break my heart… Sasha & Becky Vs Naomi & Tamina… Sorry Sash but Naomi is the love of my wrestling life… whoever loses – I WIN…

OH NO! The New Day got Mark Henry to join them??? Er.. It’s gonna be curtains for the Dudleys and Usos now!

For real? What started as a ‘botch’ from Lillian Garcia, now they are riding with it? I guess the Uso Brudda ARE grammy award winners!

Oh dear! Bossing Mark Henry about is something you don’t do! Mark Henry’s like – F**K IT! ME GONE! New Day goose cook!

WHOA!!! Dudley Boyz turned EVIL!!!! They just put the Uso Brudda through a table!!! Bu-bu-bu-BUT!!!!!

This is it people…. AHH MAN, HOW DO WE SAY GOODBYE… IT’S ALWAYS THE GOOD ONES THAT HAVE TO…

He’s holding back the tears here…just let it out Danny it’s ok… I cry, you cry, we cry, together… shout out to Lil Mo and Ja Rule…

Ok he cut his hair for the purpose of a cancer fund… so respect is due there… it wasn’t for you Vincent Kennedy!

DYAM DUTTY!!! Even in sadness Danny got jokes!!! Everybody with the Yes chant… Danny says – ‘that’s what Brie says all the time!’

Danny gives shout outs to Kane, William Regal, and especially Connor The Crusher. Where is he when we need him? He’s the only guy who can beat TRIPLE TEEF!

That’s it. Daniel Bryan’s wrestling career is over. That means NO wrestling anywhere else, it’s not a work, none of that sh!t. TAKE A BOW DANIEL BRYAN. WE ARE GRATEFUL.

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1184, February 1, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Monday Night Raw #1184, February 1, 2016!!!

Bret Hart Fight Cancer

THAT’S F**KED UP.

The Best There Is, The Best There Was, and The Best That Ever Will Be has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. The GRANT SAYS WWE has a lot to answer for. WHY? Because every year, they represent the Susan Komen thing, and that’s about breast cancer, they support the Connor’s cure, but they never support the prostate cancer… borderline discrimination don’t you think?

On a serious note, Bret has fought many battles in his time. Now it’s time for Bret to fight his biggest challenge in his life. Last week the RePPiN4U Show did a F**k Cancer special… and recently, they snatched Terry Wogan. THAT’S F**KED UP.
F**K CANCER!!!

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GRANT BODY -P!

RAW #1184! I am the Infamous Informer, I’m a student of this wrestling sh!t, and Black History, I ain’t passed the bar but I know a little bit!

WWF PROPA TINGZThe WrestleMania 32 sign emblazoned high.. LET’S START THIS SH!T! WITH BRRRROCCCCK, LESSSSNARRRR! the Mayor of Suplexxxx Cittttty!!!

See the crowd chanting for it, so you IWC minorities shut the f**k up! If the fans chant for it, it’s gonna keep going!

Aaah sh!t – Triple TEEF is now the Billion Dollar trophy husband!!! I like that sh!t! Ambrose has heard enough though… they say mad men have the strength of 10 men… so suplex city for Deano may not be enough to put him down!

Deano just told Brock to take him to Suplex City! He can’t do that!!! He really is a mad man! This dude dun broke the streak – Deano just told Brock to his face he ain’t scared of him! WHOA!

Again the FastLane theme is wack… I gotta fix that! Wait Lillian is speaking in Spanish introducing Kalisto… suddenly I feel powerful in my jeans…

GRANT BODY -P!

Say whaaaaat? Kalisto fights Bertie AGAIN at the FastLane? I thought Bertie was injured! Are you wrestling jabronies reading dirt sheets again?

Now the League of Nations have become the League of casualties… Lana is at ringside once again… that’s GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!

Damn Kalisto twisted up Rusev all over that ring until Rusev realised he was out of the ring and then the ref counted to 10! Remember back in the days? when Lana would use her iron (masturbating) fist and say RUSEV CRUSH??? And the opponent was finished??!

NO GRANT YOU DIDN’T JUST SAY THAT!

Stephanie is just so flirtatious!!! Does she realise that when she’s talking to Reigns & Ambrose, or whenever she’s on screen? She just oozes sexuality!

Two women who don’t ooze as much sexuality are Brie & Charlotte, who’s causing a little bit of trouble being unapologetic to Brie as the cause of Nikki’s injury… but that’s not the issue – LOOK AT RIC FLAIR Looking at Renee Young up and down… and RIGHTFULLY SO!

WORD!!!! The Usos are ‘GRAMMY AWARD’ winners??? WHOA!!! And Straight Outta Compton won NO AWARDS??? This is a travesty! Shout out to Lillian for the botch! She can botch and still look sexy doing it!

Lillian botch

Time to finally clarify things… DMX DID NOT DO AJ STYLES THEME… this jabroni did… it’s kinda catchy actually…

Damn Miz you are doing some serious d!ck riding aren’t you?

YOU WHAT???!!!!! Miz calls himself the father of the Yes movement??? DISRESPECT! AJ Styles is listening to The Miz talk sh!t, AJ Styles is one of the best wrestlers that ever did it! Yo Styles – give this muthaf***a a StylesClash super move!

That’s it Styles – BEAT OUT HIS BLODCLART!

Styles needs to teach some of these WWE superstars a lesson – just because you were in TNA or NJPW or ROH or wherever – DOES NOT MEAN you are inferior than them! The ignorance level is over 9000!

If WWE are celebrating Black History Month, then THE GRANT SAYS they should at least give Alicia Fox or (preferably) Naomi a title shot at Charlotte! But if that Ric Flair took a shot at Naomi.. who would get to Flair first to brukk him up… Uso… or me????I am him

With that said.. I want Ric Flair to plant one on Brie’s lips… it would be great! Anyone but Naomi!

Plant one on Alicia! DO IT FLAIR! Hold up – Brie defeated Charlotte??? OH SNAP!

Big Show Vs The Wyatt bwoy… I mean… Erick Rowan gonna get punched through schoolbuses right? The Wyatts are usually teef… maybe I should hang around and watch this… but to be honest… I wanna sandwich and a mocha coffee… you want me to get anything for you? No? Ok more for me!

Haha! That Triple Teef! Insinuating that Suplex City gone SAWFT like the NXT tag team!

Brock should have said ‘did you polish the hammer like that chick in the music video?’

PG GRANT – SH!T!

Right you see this triple threat match at Fast Lane… The Grant says this – to those who wanna see Triple vs Deano at WrestleMania… considering everything you have seen over the last two months, ask yourself – DOES THAT MATCH MAKE SENSE???

Answers on a postcard pleae – tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

Wait a minute – Didn’t I see this match last week? Well I’m not gonna talk about Kevin Owens Vs Ziggler again f**k that! Just for no reason – here’s a pic of that chick from Lucha Underground – GOD DAYUUUUUUUM!!! She’s my type… OHHHHHHHHH!!!

Catrina

Look at her…. OHHHHHH! (Shaking my head and screwing my face as I type this)

BIG RESPECT TO WWE for that Mark Henry tribute. I like the fact that they hinted on inducting him in the Hall Of Fame at some point as well.

THATS WHAT I DO!!!

I respect that you’re out for dolo Sasha… but a few weeks ago you was all about UNITY! Now look what you’ve done!

Well Naomi & Tamina are just making sure that is the case…the UNITY is still there… I hope!

But lets take a moment to look at my Naomi! Those blue highlights in her hair… OHHHHH! I hope Uso taps dat @$$ later… she really was the wife who got away… I could shed a tear seriously… I just know my moms would be so proud – by the way – she asked me the other day if ‘Tiffany’ is my type… she’s this woman on Big Brother. I don’t know who she is… but HELL YEAH!

Tiffany Pollard

Answers on a postcard please – who is she? Tweet me – @MZATheInfamous! I’d tear her @$$ up!!! If she doesn’t tear me up first!

Oh no they turned on Sasha… ahhh man… I guess it was coming really…

But on my WWE2K16… they stick tog…. wait there… I haven’t got Sasha on WWE2K16! I think I got Layla in there instead!

First Naomi is taking shots, now The New Day taking shots at Kanye West! Dude got fingered in his @$$ by Amber Rose – that is NOT COOL! And it’s the truth! Look how fine Amber Rose is… and the bwoy let the girl do nasty things to his doodoo bottom… SHAME…

Interesting how The New Day pointed out the kid in the crowd with the Bullet Club shirt on… camera focussed more than once… I’m saying HMMMMM!!!

Damn the Shield days were a long time ago right? Back in the days The Shield’s opponents had no chance to breathe! Now ‘AmbReigns’ are getting buss arse… and The Xavier is playing the trombone… and shouting – TOASTY!!! Like his name is Dominik Diamond in the Mortal Kombat games!

Hey side thought – whatever happened to Dominik Diamond??? Must be a middle aged man now surely???

Match dun between New day and AmbReigns – but when you hear that savage guitar riff… THAT’S IT! Well Ambrose isn’t afraid right? F5 to Ambrose – BLAOW!!! I give Ambrose 10/10 for bravery, 0 for achievement!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1183, January 25, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

TripleH1

Can I be the first to say…. TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!! Right there are still a number of you who still don’t understand what the word ‘TEEF’ means… it’s Jamaican slang, and I will break it down here and now.

According to the Urban Dictionary… Literally means ‘damn thief’ but is more used in a situation where someone is trying to rip you off. 

1) Jamaican slang for “to steal”

2) When you feel you’ve been cheated or conned and is unfair. Used a lot when playing video games, especially fighting ones.

And that’s what ‘TEEF ‘ means people… Triple H is one of the best heels to ever do it, and that’s what Triple did at the Royal Rumble. He ‘ripped you off’. He ‘stole’ the championship because he’s a corporate employee, the WWE superstars were conned, cheated, the opportunity was unfair…GET IT?! Unfortantely there are a number of jabronies who failed to do the knowledge and grasp the fundamental rule of professional wrestling: WRESTLING IS STORYLINE. So when I hear some you complain, and then even come up with ‘what they should have done’ or ‘what they must do next’ BELIEVE ME… YOU DO NOT MAKE SENSE.

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GRANT BODY -P!

RAW #1182! I am the Infamous Informer, you ain’t got to agree with me, you ain’t got to like me, but YOU WILL RESPECT MY CONGLOMERATE!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZSource: WWE.Com/YouTube

I expect RAW to open up with Triple saying something like: ‘I AM THE GAME-ERRRR, I AM THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION -ERRRR, AND I GOT A 2 DOLLAR HOE OF A WIFE-ERRRRRR!!!!’

Really? Are people actually asking why Triple needs to be champion?? Obviously a lot more people have not done the knowledge! Really WWE Universe are you THAT retarded?

Simple – he doesn’t need to be champion!!! DYAM ARSE! Y’all act like you forgot what happened at the TLC joint! When Roman mash up Triple! It’s all revenge – FOOL!

We can’t do anything about Triple as the champion it seems! Complaining on the internet is useless! It feels like late 1999/2000 all over again!

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Crowd chanting for Roman…. then Vincent Kennedy interjects – “That’s not the respect we’re talking about – SHUDDUP!!!”

Wait a minute what about the 30 day defense clause??? (he’s the C.O.O. of the company he can do what he wants!) Oh BLAST! Turns out he’s not defending at Fast Lane, instead will be a #1 contender’s match… winner goes to WrestleMania…

You see what I mean??? TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!

It also means the ‘dream’ is dead as far as a match with Triple Vs The Rock this year….

Too many Roman Reigns quotes by The Authority!!! This #1 contenders match is pointless – we know it’s Triple Vs Reigns at WrestleMania… and dude is gonna win… I dunno man 100,000+ fans at the AT&T Stadium in Dallas, Texas and millions watching around the world know this is a no-brainer… saying that most of you are retarded…

GRANT BODY-P!!!

Great contest between Dolph Ziggler & Kevin Owens yet again… I know some of you think I’m starting to like Ziggler – Well yeah…. ON TOTAL DIVAS! Because that’s what he is quite frankly…

GRANT BODY-P!!!

As a hip hop fan I’m not even gonna attempt to watch the ‘rap battle’ between Flo Rida and Bo Dallas… this blog is brought to you courtesy of RePPiN4U: Represent The Real Hip Hop – key word – REAL – The Cage Amateurs UK, who don’t play that phony rubbish when fighters make their way to the octagon and Fox Sports 1340am Hopewell, where their esteemed journalists are REAL Hip Hop fans! We don’t do that nonsense over here!

Welcome to the big league AJ STYLES! Yes I know the IWC don’t necessarily see WWE that way… a lot of em think the NJPW is the sheeeet…and hey – I’m not arguing with them! But I’m a WWE guy, I’m not gonna get jokes watching the New Japan joint so… welcome to the big league AJ STYLES! Your opponent – Chris Jericho!

AJ STYLES TNAThe Infamous Informer doesn’t make memes… he has no time for that…

This is the second time I am actually seeing AJ Styles fight (first time was at WrestleKingdom 10) and I can see why the fans are getting their jerk on! Hopefully this will totally kill the CM Princess Peach B!tch chants…

AJ Styles out wrestled Jericho! For those who don’t know like me… this guy is serious! To think… Austin Aries and Samoa Joe are here too! And big BIG WrestleMania 32 soon come!

Aaaah yes… Becky Lynch Vs Sasha Banks… brings back memories hey NXT fans???!!!

HOLD UP – BIRTHDAY SALUTATIONS TO THE BOSS LADY! NOT YOU STEPHANIE SIT DOWN!

Sasha

Hey by the way who said Sasha was injured??? And where’s Sasha’s Team BAD sistrins? I thought it was all about UNITY??? ANSWERS ON A POSTCARD PLEASE! Tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

Wait a minute Becky & Sasha were having a good old competitive wrestling contest! Why Charlotte interfering for??? Yo shout out to Charlotte daddy – RIC FLAIR! He got in Becky’s tongue at the Royal Rumble… and did a strut after that! HE IS DA MAN!!!

 

Becky would get it – no doubt! GRANT BODY-P!

Everytime I miss an episode of RAW due to circumstances beyond my control The Rock appears!!! ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!! This time… The New Day??? I love The New Day & Francesca II (The trombone) but I don’t want The Rock to cuss these lot??? OH NO!!!!

YES NEW DAY! NOW THAT IS A SHIRT!!! I need that in my life! WWEShop.Com HERE I COME! Right after… I pay these bills!

NEW DAY ROCKS SHIRT

Even The Rock loves the promo material The New Day is coming with! They cannot be denied!

I’M DEDDIN! The Rock hasn’t spoke yet and New Day asking Rock – I am himWhere your Championship Gold at? Where dat tho? Hahahahahahahaha! THIS IS GREAT!

OH SNAP! they doing the thing what The Rock does with his tongue!!! That lalalalallalalalalalalallalalallala-loaaaaaaaw!!!!

But now… The Rock is gonna roast em…. HERE WE GO!!!!

OH LAWWWWD! ‘Lama Penises strapped to their head’!!!! And Xavier is like – ‘WHAAAAAAAAAAAT’???!!!! The Rock just killed it in one line!

Big E is has his eyes bulging, looking like that dude who saw Brock break the streak at WrestleMania XXX!

NO!!! Three Unib!tches in a circle!!!! Rock STOP IT!!!

Three men cannot manage The Rock! They turning their back and walking out! They can’t do that!

That’s why The Rock…much like Triple Teef… always has a Plan B….

The Usos come out to beat on The New Day! Rock Bottom to Big E – BLAOW!!!!

Uso brudda hit the Samoan drop to Kofi Kingston – BLAOW!!!!

Get in there Xavier!!!! Your turn to get BUSS ARSE!

He got kicked down by the Usos! Spinebuster by The Rock! And now, the most electrifying move in all of entertainment toady – THE PEOPLE’S ELBOW!!!

And to think…. Paige was asking where Natalya was at and if she works here anymore… look here now! They are pairing up against Brie Bella and Alicia Fox!

I have a question for all my WWE2K16 cats: Have you assigned Daniel Bryan’s move set to Brie Bella??? Yes I know you already created/downloaded AJ Styles! All I know is – WWE2K17 gonna be OFF THE HOOK!

Hang on – WHAT??? Did you hear what Mike Cole said on the Kalisto Vs The Miz contest? “Here’s the cover again, and a kick out at #25…??!!!!” WHOA!!!! I’ve heard King Kong Bundy say ‘I WANT FIVE!’ I’ve heard Big E Langston say ‘I WANT FIVE!’ But The Miz wants ‘TWENTY-FIVE???!!!’ He must be out of his mind!

I know what Mike Cole meant – get your thong out your arse fool!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

OHHH SNAP! The Shield (minus Rollins)! Beat down the boy Rusev! Powerbomb through the table – BLAOW!!! Oh dear Rusev ain’t crushing Lana for a week now! I hear Lana crying out there… to that The Grant says – SHUT-TUP!!! Payback for Rusev taking reigns out the game at the Royal Rumble!

Well Stephanie made the news – Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns & Brock Lesnar will fight at the Fast Lane! Winner faces Triple TEEF at WrestleMania! Er… YAWN!!!! Roman wins, Wyatt will cost Brock, and Ambrose is in a ladder match defending his title – how about that! That’s the Infamous Informer’s call! Come on WWE come better than that! RESPECT MY CONGLOMERATE!

 

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1182, January 18, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Aaaaaah sh!t! It’s about that time where Facebook’s #1 wrestling group leaves their keyboards, their HiPhones, their gidgets gadgets behind, come together and gather for the rumble… the ROYYYYAL RUMBLLLLLLLE!!! 30 men, The World Wrestling Federation Championship, somebody will be the champion and headline WrestleMania! Somebody in the Smack Talk Centre will be at least £30 richer, and the prestigious Smack Talk Centre Championship is on the line! Who gonna look good in their outfit?

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But before that, who you backing? who you think gonna win the rumble? Is AJ Styles & Co gonna appear? WELL DON’T GET GASSED! YOU are to blame if they don’t appear and you get angry… NOT MY PROBLEM!

GRANT BODY -P!

Find out on this week’s STC From The UK Show! Saturday 5pm UK 12noon EST! On BDSIR NETWORK – The Best Damn Show In Radiaaah!!!

RAW #1182! I am the Infamous Informer, Don’t get my hands dirty, I got goons that spray, quick to kill a motherf****r, like BOOM BYE YEAH!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZI HAVE A DREAM! That one day, Internet Wrestling Know It Alls would stop reading dirt shets, buying into everything they read, then throw wobblys because Cesaro isn’t pushed to the main event….

I HAVE A DREAM! That one day, Jimmy Uso will give Naomi a free pass, and she will travel here to the UK, find the Infamous Informer, and throw on some Raphael Saadiq, Backs Dat @$$ Up and allows him to give her one piece of sweet loving!

GRANT LUTHER KING!

Roman Reigns has come down the stairs! Brock Lesnar caused an injustice! He calls out Brock, but gets Jericho!

Jericho is inviting Reigns to come on the Highlight Reel with Brock! Well Jericho, prepare to have your Jeritron 65000 destroyed!!! That thing is going over somebody’s headtop surely!

Look at these League of Nation fools… they want in to the highlight reel… they all claim they gonna win the Rumble… as usual – we ALL wanna win the Rumble! Sh!t I wanna win the Rumble! But if those lights go out and the bell tolls… f**k that – over the top rope I go – ME GONE! (What about Brock Grant?) Oh I’ll hide underneath the ring until he’s gone!

After all that chatting… Roman Reigns Fights Rusev! Jericho is now the guest referee! Just like HBK… I don’t trust that Jericho! It’s one Vs all right? Roman Reigns watch your back rude boy!

Wait a minute – League of Nations at ringside??? TEEEEEEEF!!!! The ref should run them out the arena! But it’s Jericho, he wouldn’t do that… he’d rather beat out their blodclart himself!

High risk maneuver coming up – Rusev tries a Samoan Drop off the top ropes, Reigns counters – sit out power bomb to Rusev – BLAOW!!!!

Sheamus tried to teef – Jericho caught him! GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE! Barrett tries to reason with his big nose – COME OUT! Jericho is law & order! Bertie tries to reason… he’s out as well! Jericho doing the cartwheel while he’s doing it! Roman hits the superman punch and the spear to Rusev… BLAOW! 1….2…and….3!!!! League of WHAT? F**KOUTTAHERE!

Look at the chemistry between Jericho and Stephanie… god damnit Jericho wants to f**k her bad! You can see it in his face! I mean… one of these days… I will interview Jericho, and I want the TRUTH!

Look who’s back! Natalya! look at her suit – she got no draws on underneath that! So is Paige! Urgh… I still hate that b!tch! Natalya fighting Brie – you know it’s all about the Total Divas – THEY’RE BACK BABY!

Total Divas - Season 5

 

TOTAL DIVAS — Season: 5 — Pictured: “Total Divas” Season 5 Key Art — (Photo by: E! Entertainment)

6 of the 8 women would get the D from me… one of em is obvious but can you guess the other one? Answers on a postcard – tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

GRANT BODY -P!

While the Dudleys and Ryback are fighting each other in six man tag competition… just to confirm – Natalya had NO DRAWS ON! Something has happened to that woman…it’s

Natalya - No draws

Photo courtesy of that dutty bwoy Steadx!

almost as if Nikki passed the freaky baton on to Natalya! A Lie Me Ah Tell?

Not these blasted Social Outcasts… Big Show just punch all four of these jabronies through school buses!

Curtis Axel still on that Royal Rumble 2015 sh!t… can this fool enter the Rumble at #1 so that the #2 entrant can eliminate his blodclart?

GRANT BODY-P!

Aaaaaah sh!t – Stephanie injecting a lethal dose of TEEEEEF into the League of Nations! Come on guys??? a a King of the Ring Winner, a 40 man Royal Rumble winner and a former World Wrestling Federation Champion running scared of Jericho??? Stephanie just told them to f**k him up!

It’s kinda funny how Stephanie tells Jericho how it’s not 1999 anymore… I remember what happened in 1999, don’t you wrestling fans???!!!

For real Vincent Kennedy? 30 balls in that muthaf***a? And Roman Reigns gotta go first??? In the interest of fairness, they did try it 3 times… and it was… ROMAN REIGNS!!!! TEEEEEEEEEEEEF! Come on Roman – it can be done!!!! Gotta look strong right??!!!

Side note – Stephanie teasing the WWE Universe on some ‘somebody we haven’t seen before’ to win the Rumble or become #1 entrant… referring to AJ Styles & The Bullet Club or Nakumara? You should be so lucky… SHUT THE F**K UP!

GRANT BODY -P!

I am himBecky Lynch faces off against my girl Tamina…changed her music too… argh man you mean they couldn’t use the Busta Rhymes tune – I Love My B!tch????!

It’s official – 2 of the three members of Team BAD are out here… Sasha Banks is out the game… god damnit… just when Team BAD’s creative vaginal juices were about to flow…

GRANT BODY-P!!

Meanwhile Kevin Owens is trying to show Mike Cole how to do it on commentary… don’t do it too well Owens! F**k around and Vincent Kennedy will have you there pernamently like he tried with Randy Savage!

I know the New Day did not just hold a service for Franchesca the Trombone! All three guys dressed in black! Look what you have done Jericho! YOU MURDERER! I mean, what you did makes Chris Benoit look like an angel! How can WWE allow this man (Jericho) to be on TV??? They should erase him from history! HE KILLED A TROMBONE PEOPLE! While you jabronies pay to see him and his Fozzy jabronies singing nonsense and making unnecessary noise with the guitar??? WAKE UP PEOPLE! Cut off the funding towards his podcasts!

The New Day will exact their revenge, starting with The Uso brudda… they will fight for the Tag Titles… but they don’t have Franchesca… it cannot simply be replaced???

Whoa Whoa Whoa! Hold up – Mark Henry, Titus & R-Truth  – is that another team about to brew??? They have a dream.. and so does Neville! They will one day become World Wrestling Federation Champion! Sometimes guys, I like all of you but… dreams are just that – A DREAM!

They are up against The Ascension, Tyler Breeze and Stardust – with all these 4 man teams going on, can’t we have the Survivor Series as the next PPV? Do that traditional 4 vs 4 sh!t???

I’m gonna call this team – TEAM MLK… they all mashed up Tyler Breeze with their super moves! BALL GAME! Yo Tyler… NXT is THAT WAY! I don’t care how good you are as a wrestler – you wear that frilly sh!t – I ain’t taking your b!tch @$$ seriously!

GRANT BODY – P!

Aaaah sh!t – Where’s the Jeritron 650000 at? Holy crap – Jericho just told Heyman to Shut The Hell Up??? Ok – dude is going to Suplex City!

Say what? Did Jericho just ask Heyman if he has no faith in Brock winning the Rumble? Good counter by Heyman – Lesnar never got pinned or submitted when he lost the title… Heyman promises Brock will turn the Rumble into Suplex City! But who gonna eliminate Brock? That’s what I wanna know!

Jericho is sure of himself isn’t he? He really thinks he can throw Lesnar out the Rumble! It’s almost as if Jericho heard me ask the question! So did Brock by the sounds of things!

I think Roman heard me too! He’s coming down the stairs! The man who laughed in Suplex City!!!! I hope that tatical vest plays well Roman!

Reigns hit the spear to Lesnar – BLAOW! But the League of nations rushed the ring! I don’t know why… as Lesnar mashed them all up! But Reigns comes with another spear – BLAOW! Next minute the Wyatt man come! Check this out – they f**ked up Lesnar! You think they gonna take him away and harvest his powers too?

SH!T! The Wyatt Family killed muthaf***az like BOOM BYE YEAH!!!

SEE YOU AT RILEY’S SPORTS BAR WOLVERHAMPTON THIS SUNDAY MUTHAF***AZ!

SEE YOU AT RILEY’S SPORTS BAR WOLVERHAMPTON THIS SUNDAY MUTHAF***AZ!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Jobber Blogger – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 5/11/14

jobber blogger bonfireYup, that’s about as exciting as it gets.

I went to a Bonfire. It was a little one behind a local Pub, I watched it from a Distance…. was nice. Then went home.

Number One Hundred and Thirty Three! Good old #133 – reminds me of nothing.

You know, I’m struggling with TNA these days. It seems of late, though their program is usually fairly solid, and despite the odd expectation, it’s just a little… boring.

I’m not bored watching it, but my enthusiasm for the product is drifting. But then, as I constantly moan about, I’m sure that’s down to the fact it’s Taped. It doesn’t feel right, least not what we’re used to.

Which is an interesting and also non relevant thing, given what I will talk about in a minute.

I suppose when I pull it apart, TNA is pretty good. Bobby Roode is champ, The Hardyz are competing, the Tag-Team Tournament was awesome. I like the direction of the Knockouts currently, though a little more than just Havok would be nice, granted Madison and Taryn are feuding, but it’s taken a huge back seat to Havok.

Whilst on the topic of the Knockouts, I miss Brooke – Tessmacher that is, not Hogan.

She did an interview recently about being more involved with TNA again next year. Hopefully The Amazing Race will bring Brooke and Robbie E over as an on-air couple when it’s all finished.

I’ve never watched it, I don’t even know what it is…. I’m guessing their Racing? And that it probably isn’t as Amazing as the name implies.

Anyway, lets break down TNA Impact when I get to Impact.

redlinebootcampLet’s talk about British Bootcamp.

I mentioned Episode 1 two weeks back, but then I hadn’t got round to watching Episode 2 in time for last week’s Jobber Blogger. So now I’m up to date with all 3 episodes watched by my eyes.

Currently, Boot Camp is more exciting to me than Impact.

Should that be possible?

Episode 2 was alright, the high light was obviously that Andrews chap whose name I’ve gotten… aside from the Andrews part.

Episode 3 however brought it up a notch, everyone was good. I’m glad they are all going through to this week’s (tonight’s) show.

The idea of all of them competing on a Card, that’s awesome! So yeah, I’m pumped. I don’t know who I’m rooting for. I guess Grado has the advantage as obviously all that mess was a work.

I say obviously… it seems obvious to me, but then I could be wrong. Probably not though.

It’s this weird “Reality” meets “Wrestling” that never quite feels right.

TNA try their hand at it all the time, but it leaves far too many problems and plot holes… like the stars watching the product.

Which brings me to the thing I’m most excited to talk about!

redlinelucha-underground-tna

Oh yes!

I am Biased! Granted, anything Rodriguez has his name on, I’m excited for.

I don’t know how much input he has on Lucha Underground, but it sings with his influence, or least the influence of the Mexican culture.

I’ve been looking forward to watching this for ages, it’s debut last week in America actually took me by surprise, I didn’t think it was so close to coming out.

But it’s hitting a lot of the Wrestling News and it’s viewership in just one week jumped 163%.

Ladies and Gentleman – It’s Good!

Now I don’t if we’re all excited because it’s something new?

Because not only is it something “new” but it’s something totally different for a Wrestling show. It’s got a good budget, it looks and feels like parts of my WCW memories.

It’s got new faces, and it’s got a whole Wrestling Legacy and Culture that rarely gets showcased to the level it’s capable of. That being Lucha Libre.

What is vastly different, is it’s a Television show, and it knows it.

Every single segment is beautifully shot, not always beautifully acted, it still has Wrestlers in it. But it’s Cinematic. It’s exciting.

It’s Storyline driven and already feels like it’s got an “arc” in place.

Also it made me like Chavo Guerrero! I’ve never liked Chavo Guerrero!

It’s got balls, it’s got direction, it’s got vision.

And above all else, it’s got Wrestling.

Matt Striker stole a good TNA quote “I dare you to tune into any other Wrestling promotion and find action like this”.

Hey TNA, now you need to compete with Lucha Underground, because Mundo and Puma, that’s the level the bar is now set at. And you are a long, long way from reaching it.

Something anyone who reads my ramblings will be familiar with is my love for Tigre Uno!

tigre uno fn

He is fantastic, and impresses me every single time I see him compete, which bugs me because TNA have done nothing to help him out.

Every time he has a match, or isn’t used, I moan about TNA using him better.

Hey, there is now a solution, which from now on, I shall use.

Release Tigre Uno.

Let him go to Lucha Underground and perform on that level, because he can, and that would be amazing.

Without turning this into a new blog about Lucha Underground, I will end it by saying I hope they keep fresh faces, I don’t want a lot of well known stars turning up. There are of course some exceptions. First and foremost – AJ Styles.

Global Force Wrestling is heating up too, and I’m excited to watch that. But right now, Lucha is doing something Wrestling shows have never been able to do.

And it’s Freakin Working!

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Impact Wrestling LogoTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 5/11/14

That might be the longest Intro to The Jobber Blogger in #133 issues.

It is tradition to start the show with a new Heavyweight Champion. Unless you’re the WWE and your Heavyweight Champions only compete 8 times a year.

But I digress.

Kurt Angle introduced Bobby Roode.

We’ve not had Roode as World Champion with his “Off the Chain” entrance theme, it matches.

Roode has always looked good with the World Title, and no that’s not taking it lightly, I think the TNA World Championship is a pretty bad design. I don’t hate it, I think it’s a little over the top and garish though. Not to mention it’s Too Big for most guys who have held it. It’s far too long in length and leaves the silly floppy strap at the back.

Yeah I’m picky. So what.

Roode now being World Champ actually feels like it matters. It’s not like Lashley has had a bad run at all, but Roode just seems to carry himself better. Or TNA least want to invest more time into him.

Saying that, AJ Styles taking the belt from Bully Ray and leaving TNA with it, that was far better. Well, only if you look past the fact that he never came back that is.

Tenay and Taz went on and on about how Lashley deserves a Re-match. Being such a dominant Champion. Which is laying the ground for a Face turn surely.

Because in my eyes, as a fan. Does Lashley deserve a Re-match? Me personally, I’d say yes, but that’s because I like him. Given that he was throwing out Low-Blows and Belt Shots last week, and that he’s won multiple times from the help from MVP and King. No, probably not.

What TNA is doing with Havok, is how Lashley should have been World Champ. It just didn’t quite work out that way.

MVP got on Roode’s case and offered up a Challenge of Roode vs. MVP for the World Championship. To which Angle said, and I quote “Roode, would you mind putting the Belt on the line?”

I get it, he’s words are not meant to be taken literal, but a few weeks back Angle himself told Lashley “it is your job do defend the belt whenever and wherever”. So in my eyes, “would you mind” doesn’t come into it.

Do I analyse this too much?

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Samoa Joe and Low Ki vs. The Hardyz – Tag-Team Tournament – Finals

As much as I like Low Ki’s abilities, his presence, his entrance and how he carries himself. I hate, Hate, his promos.

He sounds ridiculous.

I said this before, but when he is next to Joe, it’s the dumbest thing you can possibly hear. Joe is fluent in the Promo language. He gets it, he’s wordy, intimidating, electric, dark, whatever he needs to be. Low Ki sounds like a $50 budget Mortal Kombat voice actor.

The intro package to this match which bounced back from Joe’s speeches to Low Ki’s, was hilariously dreadful.

Aside from that opening rant, I only wrote down that I love Matt’s Side-Effect move.

I’ve loved it since he brought it into his arsenal, it’s an awesome manoeuvre.

Anyone who knows me, knows I love Tag-Team Wrestling, so this has been an awesome and surprising tournament.

Surprising because I actually didn’t think The Hardyz would win.

For me, they should win, because of who they are, what they’ve accomplished and how good they are as a team, especially given the experience factor along between them and their opponents.

But given that they’ve fought the Wolves before, then took part in the Tag-Team series and lost on all occasions, I just didn’t think they’d be getting through to Round three.

But here we are, so I am looking forward to it. I just feel with Storm’s involvement with Richards, it’s probably going to be a more sucky kind of story match.

Who knows.

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Samuel Shaw and Brittany took to the ring… to do… something.

I’ve never liked Shaw’s attempt of a beard, being so thin and fuzzy, it just looked… horrible. But eliminating it to have a creepy porn star moustache. Yup, that’s worse.

And it didn’t stop there, Brittany was swinging on it, pulling it around, then pulling his mouth around and licking it. I didn’t need to see that.

Gunner obviously got involved, and resorted straight to bad mouthing Shaw and digging up the old “Creepy Bastard” chant.

Funny how Gunner went from being all noble, to verbally attacking him over someone else’ influence. You’d think given Gunner’s background in the Military and experience dealing with problematic individuals, who’d do less to attack them, and more to help them.

But then, it is Wrestling.

I don’t really care where this goes. Shaw is better the crazier he is, and Brittany just helps that. Gunner will just drift on to remain Gunner. The only reason I’d be more interested in this development is if Anderson gets involved again.

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TNA’s got a Brand New Star.

See you later Chris Malendez and say Hello to Mahogany Simba!

tna simba

It’s true, I have no idea what his name is, so I just wrote down what sound as similar and also made me laugh a little.

I’m a professional don’t you know.

So far I’m not all that impressed. He’s a big Indian guy with Boobs, let’s see what happens when he gets in the ring.

tna-simba2Much Better

Suicide was a cool character, good look, nice colours, awesome mask, great entrance music. Then he became Manik, most of that carried over.

Now he’s heel – super shinny blue Manik, whose new mask lets him talk… and he walks up to people like Simba and say “Sup, my Dude”.

tna-manik-sup

Does he look like a guy who says “Sup, My Dude?”

Well that Characters gone down the drain. What’s intimidating about that.

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Bram and Magnus vs. Devon and Tommy Dreamer – Hardcore Rules

You know what, I’m not even going to bother really spending much time on this match.

I’m not a fan.

One thing I did like, was the ending, only because it actually surprised me. In terms of how it came to a close.

Bram went through a Table, which happened quicker than I thought, also I was fairly sure he was the only one who wouldn’t end up going through a Table.

Then the best bit being Magnus thrown into the corner which had a Bin wedged into the Ropes, he Leap Frogged back only to get a Low-Blow then shoved face first into the bin. I didn’t expect it, was good.

Dreamer hit a DDT right after and took the Win.

I think Bram will probably continue from this, hopefully, after he defeating Abyss so many times, losing to the likes of Dreamer and Devon seems unlikely.

Even though they might be the legends, Abyss’ onslaught is far deadlier.

So I would take a guess that “Magnus” will be the weak link in Bram’s defeat.

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Spud had a little segment, I’m not sold on Spud’s face turn yet. I don’t think he’s reach much potential as a Face. What made him so great was being a heel. I always find the kind of character Spud was, is completely gone when he’s a face. Now he’s willing to fight, and Wrestling, and doing honourable things. It was funnier when he didn’t. Now he’s just like everyone else? Only less impressive?

Don’t get me wrong though, I do like Spud.

His Speech was good. So good that it brought out EC3 and Tyrus. Now, I’m fairly sure Spud won’t be the one to defeat EC3, but he might. I would hate that too.

Either way, Tyrus back when he was Brodus mentioned that the “Funkasaurus” gimmick wasn’t quite what he had in mind. I liked it, personally. But he didn’t want to do that. So here in TNA, I’m guessing he’s currently being more like who he wants to be…

tna-ec3-tyrusShould someone tell him that’s a Woman’s top?… He’s got the necklace and everything.

EC3 slapped JB, EY got involved. blah blah blah sums it up nicely.

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Gail Kim vs. Havok – Knockouts Championship

I seem to be picking on Commentary and the rules between Good Guys and Bad Guys too much, but it’s never bugged me to this level before.

Gail came out fighting, but Havok took control. They fought up the Ramp where Gail kicked Havok closer and closer to the edge of the Stage, she then ran attempted to Kick her off the stage, Havok grabbed Gail’s foot then threw Gail off the stage instead. To which Tenay says “she threw her off the stage …. what a monster!”

Despite the fact Gail tried her best to Kick Havok off the stage mere seconds prior… but that’s fine. Because she’s a “Good Guy” and Havok beats her up.

What?

Winds me up!

wind up complain

Everyone rushes to Gail’s aid, but yet she continues! Usual crap.

What wasn’t usual was Havok throwing Gail from her shoulders face first onto the Steps. That looked painful… and awesome.

I was expecting Gail to pull off an upset, which I would have hated. But Havok kept toying with her, to which I fully expected Gail to take advantage of. Same old, same old.

Thankfully Havok caught Gail finally and dropped her with a Chokeslam for the win.

Good match. While I don’t really buy into Gail’s “injury” stuff, so therefore I wasn’t exactly rooting for her, but it was a good match. I just wanted Havok to win. I found Gail wasn’t constantly selling the abuse she took, which did stand out a little to me. But who cares.

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MVP vs. Bobby Roode – World Heavyweight Championship

You know how I started this with “Roode looks good with the Belt”. Where it doesn’t look good with his horrible crappy plastic pimp coat.

It looked good with his Robe. Why ditch the Robe?

Robe or nothing. Wear a T-shirt to the ring, that looks good too.

I have no idea why he thinks this coat is a good thing, it looks horrible.

Lashley and MVP had a little chat backstage, obviously Lashley is supposed to be annoyed that he’s not got a Re-match and MVP positioned himself into a match instead.

I’d rather it look like that yet Lashley came out and beat up Roode with MVP and it was all a plan to wear him down.

But no, MVP and Roode had a decent match which Roode won with a Roode Bomb. A straight forward, clean match.

I also still hate the name “Roode Bomb”.

Lashley then turned up and Speared Roode and left without helping MVP up. So yeah, I’m guessing their days are up.

blueline

Although not a bad show – it’s a run of a mill type of show.

Still no word yet on a new TV Deal for TNA, and I hope things do get a little more interesting soon.

Either way, Boot Camp is entertaining and Lucha Underground has my attention.

Till then.

Dan Wilkinson

TotalNonstopRewind

TheJobberBlogger

TheSteelChair

StrikeTapandGrapple

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