Tag Archives: Alexa Bliss

Monday Night Raw #1295, March 19, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Word on the street is they have inducted my dude Mark Henry into the Hall of Fame. At time of this part of the blog, it’s not confirmed but dirt sheets have reported it. Usually I say #DirtSheetsAreSATAN because they spoil sh!t and lowers your excitement upon watching this wrestling sh!t. No one wants to be surprised anymore it seems, then complaining on the internet follows…but on this occasion, I wear my Mark Henry shirt. Even if it’s not true!



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RAW 1295! Are you happy now? They changed the name of the bumbaclart match. Now sit down and SHUDDUP!

Before I continue talking sh!t, I got something for you Roman haters…. while he’s ‘suspended’, there he is on Hot 97 in his full suit promoting the big BIG WrestleMania! Ladies are getting wet in their panties right now! A handsome man in a suit????

That’s why my real life woman gets nervous when I don the Infamous Purple Suit…


Wait a minute  Roman Reigns not supposed to be here???!!!! Yo I’m keeping out of this!

They sent US Marshalls after Double R? This should be good!

You mean to tell me three strapping US Marshalls cannot manage Double R?! Now Brock is here! HERE COMES THE PAIN!!! Oh no Roman is F**ked now!

The haters are loving this surely! Suplex City and chair shots to a handcuffed Roman! It must be their grandest day! JR would have lost sh!t by now!

I hear a few haters in Dallas Texas chanting ‘YOU DESERVE IT’ to Double R, obviously the rest of Dallas Texas are not playing that sh!t! Y’all haters are bloodthirsty muthaf***az! Are you gonna get on top of your rubber robot dolls too?


I am hungry as a muthaf***a! let me see what I can find in the kitchen…

I know Michael Cole did not just say that’s the most horrific attack he’s ever seen… Er… Braun you have been insulted!!!!

Alexa Bliss faces Asuka… do you think Nia Jax will lead by example and bring the pain on Alexa?

Awwwww Alexa is sorry…. f**kouttahere!!!

Oh no! Alexa is going IN!!! This is the woman you guys love off? SHE HAS NO MANNERS!!!

“I uuuuuuused Nia…”

…and look at Mickie James like a silly fool laughing along – didn’t Mickie get dissed by Alexa for being old??? WHAT IS THIS?

mickie alexa


Gotta say Mickie James though… f**k me!!! OWWWWWWWW!!! Mickie looks like that chick who’s gardening you just took care of but she has no money to pay you…


Sh!t I had to take an important call… now I gotta catch up on half this sh!t!

(after catching up) I don’t know where Alexa is going with her brukk leg – Nia Jax music hits! It’s not quite ‘I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU’ but it will do!

Nia nearly ketch her but Mickie James was there to cause a distraction! Good GAWD ALMIGHTY Mickie! Damn I need to inject some hip hop in that pu$$@y!!!!


Oh no! Braun believes he can win the tag titles by himself! This is not gonna go down well with the tag team traditionalists! To that THE GRANT SAYS THIS: NXT. Dusty Rhodes Classic. That is for YOU!

I know Cesaro didn’t just say as a team – they eat together, drink together, and sleep together!!!! If that’s the case – Bobby Roode is one of the luckiest muthaf***az right now!

Roode put it in Charlotte


So the Revival have to send for the booby prize – The Andre The Giant Battle Royal… haha what b!tches!

I cannot lie – out of everyone inducted this year – Mark Henry being inducted in the Hall Of Fame brought me joy. That’s three out of the main 5 guys of the Nation of Domination now inducted… now THAT’S A GUY you muthaf***az in Dallas Texas should chant ‘YOUGRANT BENT ON DESTRUCTION DESERVE IT’ to!

Damn it Sasha get it over with and KILLLLL Bayley!!!

Wait! Before you do… take care of Absolution first!

Mandy Rose is sexy as f**k but if she is ‘God’s createst creation’, you are insulting Naomi, Roselyn Sanchez, Gal Gadot, Tiffany Haddish, and any of the 25 women Mike Knoxxx chooses on his show!


Look here – it’s Mr Trouble – yes he with the fruity pebble shirts!

“As long as there is a WWE, the name UNDERTAKER has meaning!!”

I swear if John Cena doesn’t get you hype for a match you initially didn’t want to see, guess what – YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!

Wait – isn’t Dallas Texas, Undertaker’s real life home town?

According to Cena, it’s DISRESPECTFUL that Undertaker hasn’t given us an answer to Cena’s challenge! Yo I’m keeping out of this one!

“The Undertaker is a COWARD!!!”

This is the part where I’m moving over here awkwardly?!!!!

IT’S KANE!!!!! Er… uh-oh!!!!! Last time Kane and Cena clashed, Zack Ryder ended up with a neck brace and Eve retreated as far as Brazil to find her husband!


Is it a yes, or is it a no?? CHOKESLAM!!!! CHOKESLAM!!! BLAOW!!!! Not exactly the question you was looking for was it Cena????

Oh no The Miz demands respect! Oh well it ain’t gonna start today!

The Miz doesn’t get a look in the WrestleMania magazine! Whose fault is that???

I know The Miz did not just call Seth Rollins and Finn Balor by their Indy names!!!! I bet that got the internet fans masturbating hard!!!!

SWEET!!! The Miztourage was gonna do the Shield supermove on Finn Balor when Seth Rollins thought – HELL 2 THE NAW – ran down, took out the Miztourage and set up The Miz – Curb Stomp – BLAOW!

The Ultimate Deletion… I expect this to be so awful that it’s jokes!

Wyatt is actually looking forward to this!!!

Wait – Wyatt has a housewarming gift? A steel chair?

You mean Matt Hardy got money for cheap pyro tricks but WWE hasn’t? What world are we living in?

Flashbacks of the Wyatt home what Randall burned to the ground??!!!! Are you complaining on the internet yet

I don’t know about you but I prefer this than the first deletion match in the TNA joint!

The question remains – does this match find its way into WWE2K19?????


OH SNAP! Senor Benjamin! Brother Nero! Their sudden appearance enabled Matt to DELETE Wyatt! He threw him in the drink!!! I can’t lie I was entertained! If you are complaining on the internet, just remember one thing – IT WAS YOU who wanted Broken Matt Hardy in the WWE!


STC 2018 logo3

Monday Night Raw #1273, October 23, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

IWC fools

It’s gonna hurt me to say this more than it will hurt the man in question… but Aydenn Wardle: Give me your wrestling card. You are not worthy of it. You said (on a J.A.M.M.S. Podcast I might add) that if Shinsuke Nakumura lost to Jinder Mahal at Hell In A Cell, you would hand it in and not watch AJ Styles Vs Shinsuke Nakumura if it happened at WrestleMania 34. But there you are STILL watching, and STILL complaining that while Finn Balor Vs AJ Styles was a great contest (which it was), you said the TLC match itself was garbage. So ok – Strowman & Kane go through announce tables, Kurt dons the Shield gear, The Shield get double chokeslammed through tables, Braun & Kane fight amongst each other, Kane chokeslams Braun off the stage, drops 20 chairs all over him, Braun comes back – pie faces his own team, the team rush him and throw him in the dumpster truck, Kane gets double speared through the barricade, Angle comes back – drops the olympic slam on Cesaro & Sheamus (prior to that he took most of the team to suplex city) then he and The Shield completely destroy The Miz for the win and YOU SAID IT WAS GARBAGE? YOUR CARD. GIVE IT TO ME!



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RAW 1273! My apologies to my readers at Cage Amateurs UK: When Virgin Media pull the plug because I didn’t pay those bills, life offline is a bit lonely!

Steph Raw

 Now really and truly, I shouldn’t be watching live because I have a hospital appointment in the morning, (or rather by the time you read this I’ve already been to the hospital) but… Brock Lesnar gonna sign Jinder Mahal’s death warrant- er I mean answer the challenge for the Survivor Series!

But first – KUUUUUUURT!!! I was concerned about him at the PPV, but thank god he’s ok, he may have got put through a table by Strowman, but he’s still standing strong!

Raaaaar! It’s champion Vs champion at the Survivor Series! Plus 5 Vs 5 Tradtional Raw Vs Smackdown mens & womens matches!

Miz thinks Raw is his show? He got BUSS ARSE at the PPV! He’s more like Raw’s B!TCH!

Look at him complaining and sh!t… Kurt needs to tell him to shut the f**k up!

I know the Miz & the Bar was not gonna rush Kurt and brukk him up… thank god for the Shield! That would have been injustice right there!

Oh snap! 6 man jump off right now! The Bar/Miz face The Shield & AJ Styles! Good on this dude – he’s staying on Raw for the Monday too! Give this man MVP of the week please!

Ok guys – as much as I wanna hang around and watch RAW live, as stated above – I gotta fin my bed. I don’t wanna be walking like a zombie to the hospital tomorrow! Don’t worry – your boy is ok, just come off the medication and they are monitoring your favourite daywalker. (Very funny you think I was on medication because I don’t know my wrestling sh!t like you guys…go jerk off over Alexa Bliss…)


Ok I’m back… the hospital could have called me to tell me the good news instead of me going clean up there only to be there for 5 minutes… let’s get on with this week’s World Wrestling Federation.

I love a good old ruckus match I do! Bodies everywhere! Camera can’t keep still! I love it! Finishing with a phenomenal forearm to Cesaro’s headcrown – BLOAW! All that technical sh!t is boring – GIVE ME RUCKUS! that’s what The Shield, the Miz, the bar and The Phenomenal One did!

OH NO! IT’S KAAAAAAAANE! Should be no problem for The Shield and AJ… right??????

Is it me or can I hear fans chanting for Roman? Er – dude is sick! Mash up with meningitis and sh!t… now you cheer for him… fickle… that’s why I can’t f**k with you wrestling fans sometimes! You’re worse than a b!tch on her period!


Kane has decided to chill with us! I like how they treating his promo treatment – lighting all red, titan tron with flames and sh!t… that’s what I’m talking about!

He says he’s Raw’s original monster! I gotta agree with Kane I’m sorry! I mean yes, Strowman has pushed over ambulances, broken rings, walked out of a truck crash, nearly destroyed Brock Lesnar… but my hero Kane… he impregnated Lita, he tombstoned a priest, he electrocuted Shane’s balls, he buried his own brother alive… he’s been carried to the ring in chains once, and my personal favourite – he set people on fire for joke!

As much as I love Finn Balor, he has no chance against my hero Kane! I mean… he didn’t have to put the demon paint on against AJ Styles… but here, he’s just a man!

Finn Balor! Front drop kick to Kane to the turnbuckles! Set up for the Coup De Grace! But Kane sat right up! NO! Chokeslam off the top ropes! Balor tried to counter but the grip was too much! Chokeslam – BLOAW!

Not going for the cover! Grabs Balor by the neck again – another chokeslam – BLAOW!

NOT A THIRD!!! What did Balor do to deserve this!!! He’s a good man! CHOKESLAM – BLAOW! BACK BRUKK!!!

Emma has another chance to make Asuka see the lights for the first time in her WWE career! I’m telling you now – she needs Dana Brooke by her side again… I don’t know why they split them up in the first place…

Wait a second! Didn’t I watch Elias Samson Vs Jason Jordan already? I don’t need to see this sh!t again… hey WWE – if people missed it they can watch the PPV on the network!

Wait – I take that back – Jason Jordan coming with that ruthless aggression yo! Elias getting charged into the barricades! But Elias had to teef – he found a guitar and lick it over Jordan’s head – BLAOW!

Oh sorry guys – it was the shoulder of Jason Jordan… sorry if I got you excited for a hot minute…


Drew Gulak – do not do speeches/pitches again – you sound like one of those idiots from The Apprentice!

Holy smokes Gran Metalik! He’s taken ‘walking the ropes’ to a new level hasn’t he! His athleticism is crazy!!!! He makes Super Crazy look Super Dull!

So Enzo’s crew are called ‘The Zo Train’? Sounds like a male version of the Ho train… oh wait – that IS what it is! I knew something was up with the way Enzo dressed…


“The same someone, who barely survived Randy Orton, the same soemone who barely survived Shinsuke Nakumura…” Yes boys and girls, this fool wants to test BRRRROCCCK LESSSNAR! The same dude who took Cena to SUUUUUPLEXXXXX CITTTTTY! The same dude who…(deep breath) broke the Undertaker’s undefeated streak at WrestleMania, The same someone who has conquered Samoa Joe, Braun Strowman, and Goldberg… somebody order a straight jacket for Jinder Mahal NOW!

Look at Brock – he’s laughing! Pacing up and down like –  “a wha dis bwoy gwarn on wid eh?”

“When we think of WWE Champions, we think of Bruno Sammartino, Nagoh Kluh, Macho Man Randy Savage, Ric Flair, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, John Cena, and BRRRROOCCCK LESSSSNAR!!!!”

Er Heyman, what about Stone Cold Steve Austin? The Rock? The UNNNNDERRRTAYYYKERR? DISRESPECT!

I’ve come to the conclusion that Alexa Bliss is UGLY. YEAAAAH I SAID IT! I’m actually taking a good look at her – look at the amount of make up the b!tch got on! She that b!tch that when you put it in you think it’s the best sex ever, your eyes are watering, you are crying out like Lexington Steele, you reach the point of no return, buss your nut, go to sleep, wake up the next day to say good morning to her and JESUS CHRIST – she looks like Sister Abigail and sh!t!

church choir

080915, Atlanta, GA: Marcus Ross (cq) and the Beulahland Bible Church choir of Macon, Ga. perform in the “How Sweet The Sound” regional church choir competition at Philips Arena on September 15, 2008. “I felt like a star on stage,” Ross said.MIKKI K. HARRIS / mkharris@ajc.com

I will agree with the b!tch though, y’all wrestling fans is GAY. You chant ‘This is awesome’ when AJ Styles and Finn Balor stare each other in the face, but when Alexa and Mickie James sexy @$$ is on you sit there contemplating a toilet break…

Speaking of Mickie James – DAYYUUUUUUUUM! How did she get that in those jeans! Look at the high heels! Hold up – kick to the gut – tornado DDT in those heels! BLAOW! YES! Alexa Bliss deserved that sh!t!GRANT WWDJC2

Ok – Alicia Fox Vs Bayley vs Sasha – winner gets to be team captain for the women’s RAW team – Well The Grant Says – why is this even a question? Sasha is THE BOSS – she is a leader – not a follower! This match should not be taking place!

Actually I would love Alicia to be the captain – she is giving me joke ringing the bell like that! This ain’t Game of Thrones Alicia?!

OH SH!T!!! Alicia IS EL CAPITAIN!!! This is gonna be great! I LIKE THIS!

Hold up – Shane McMahon and the Smackdown brand? they think they are The Shield now coming down the stairs? They can’t be here???!!! What is this!

OH SNAP! UNDER SIEGE????!!! They brukk up the Titus Brand!

I can see Mr Strong Style there! He can take on the whole Raw Roster if he wanted to!


Dean Ambrose said The Shield can take on the world – well how about half the Smackdown roster? Steel chairs in hand! Where’s Jim Ross when you need him?!


HOLY SMOKES!!! You know Kurt ain’t gonna take this lying down! He’s gonna call his squad… and if he brings Kane and Strowman…. all I’m saying is – DON’T HURT MY NAOMI! OR ELSE!!!!





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