The Jobber Blogger
I’ve never really been that into South Park. I can respect Matt and Tray, I like their thinking and stance. Not so much their humour.
But if there is one thing they got right, it’s:
The best way to poke fun at how much Americans love themselves. I will be honest, I sort of sucks that the majority of the UK really isn’t that patriotic. UK and USA are two vastly different things to Chant.
I suppose though, when this episode of Impact was filmed, it would have aired on September 11th, in New York. So that’s cool, I get it.
I can understand the thinking of American Hero’s, and War Hero’s, but a lot of the time, you only hear negative things. What makes one of these guys a Hero? So many good Men and Women serve, but the ones who get injured or traumatized seem to be those that are worthy of Heroism.
I’m not going to kick off the Jobber Blogger by saying anything too much on that subject, but of course this all plays into the opening of the show, which as it is, has a lot of problems.
TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 10/9/14
Chris Malendez vs. DJ Z
Under no circumstances can TNA convince me they Signed Malendez because he’s a great Talent, they signed him because of the reputation, the media and the publicity that goes a long with it.
Chris’ story is awesome, I think he’s hugely admirable. But I just can’t see a bright future for him. I’m not sure how long he’s signed to TNA for, but I would be surprised if he’s still around by the time his contract his up.
A one legged Wrestler, makes headlines, a one legged American Hero draws attention.
So let’s not beat it round the busy anymore shall we, is Chris Malendez impressive, simple, Yes.
He’s only impressive because of his limitation. Now if he had two legs, he wouldn’t have been anywhere close to working with TNA.
Let’s be fair shall we, his current in ring skill is based on his condition, and it is great. As someone who Hated Zack Gowen, I like Malendez. I think he has a good look, he’s impressive, agile, strength, awesome tattoos, cool music.
But to be able to Defeat DJ Z with a Samoan Drop, nope, not happening.
There is no way, At All that Malendez would ever be capable of defeating anyone on the TNA Roster. Just not possible.
For a “Sport” that struggles enough to find legitimency, adding a guy with a Winning Streak with one leg who really can’t Wrestle anywhere close to the Level of the TNA Roster, that just pisses me off.
I’m not trying to make this personal. I love his story, he seems like an awesome guy. Totally happy for him. But there is no way you can put him in the ring with Austin Aries, and expect that to be a great match. He wouldn’t be able to compete with him. DJ Z hit a Chop Block, it’s already looked as “Such a Heel move!” because he has one leg, it’s freakin’ Wrestling.
Imagine Aries running Circles around him, drop kicking him on the floor, diving over the ropes at him, he wouldn’t be able to do anything, and yet Malendez might beat him, with a Samoan Drop?
I noticed some of the padding fell off his False Leg, Gowen Wrestled without his prosthetic, a giant thick Metal Pole might cause some Damage for a guy who lands on it. Or has it land on them.
That seems like an accident waiting to happen.
Also I said this last time, but Bully and Devon’s Wrestling School, given the talent who has come from it that turned up in TNA, they need better training.
So Malendez beat Zema, which just shouldn’t happen. I get the “push”, but you only push him so far. Or by all means, push him up against Bobby Lashley, see what happens then. I seem to remember Lesnar obliterating Gowen. So you can copy that Storyline.
Samoan Drop my ass, he would have landed harder on a Back Drop, and no one loses on a Back Drop!
Bobby Roode, Eric Young and Samoa Joe vs. MVP, Kenny King and Bobby Lashley
A nice 6man Tag to build up some much needed speed between Roode and Lashley’s collision next week.
Speaking of things I can do without, is the “tip toeing” around between Roode and EY. They’ve not ran the Video Package of “They were once like Brothers!” but you better believe it’s coming.
It was literally a few months back when Roode and EY started building this “mutual respect” thing before Roode’s face turn. All on the heels of their history, Team Canada mainly, and that they’re both Canadians. And in case if you forgot, in Canada, a Deal is a Deal!
Roode and EY are throwing around “You’re my Best Friend” in a bucket of sick love more than Barney the Dinosaur.
I can’t stand it. Why are you pushing this so much? If it’s anything like, oh I don’t know, EVERY OTHER TIME! TNA have pushed friendship, one of them is going to turn on the other. At this rate, it looks like EY might have an issue with Roode. Then we shall get the “They were once like Brothers!” Video Package of Bobby Roode screaming “You were my best friend!” which sobbing into a wet fish…. with a beard.
The Line that made you Face Palm with your inner palm was Roode saying “EY, you will always be a World Champion to me!”
I bet Roode himself cringed when he read that script.
It pisses me off, it’s like TNA feel this need to pander to the audience so much because they are mainly thick!
Stop telling me the same thing! I got it from them hugging and knowing history, sorted. I don’t need them to tell me it again, and again and again, whilst the announcers and video packages repeat it for me. If they had their way Roode and EY would be kissing each other on the cheek, slapping each others’ ass and getting Married like Billy and Chuck.
Okay so I’m have a good ranting session this week, it brings out my best material.
Guess what else pissed me off, Roode giving Lashley the “My heart is bigger” speech.
Let’s see, He’s Bigger, Tougher, Stronger, Faster, but the fact you can withstand his onslaught longer makes you think you will win? No, it means you will get your ass kicked just that little bit longer, before you inevitably lose.
Roode was such a good heel, now he’s becoming the whining do goody, Baby face that likes your favourite Ice Cream, Saturday night Television and Cuddles!
The crowd was good.
Roode won by defeating MVP with his Roode Bomb… the worst named Finisher going. It’s not even a Bombing type manoeuvre.
The Bromans and Velvet Sky vs. Knux, Crazy Steve and Rebel
Do you know what this booking means.. ROB TERRY SUCKS!
I don’t like Rob Terry, I don’t like the pairing of The Bromans with the Beautiful People (though I suspect they are out for their own motives), or that they will split and The Bromans will choose Bro’s over Ho’s. Probably happen.
This is the first time we’ve seen Rebel wrestle. She’s not good. To make matters worse she recently broke her arm. Apparently she’s very under trained. Which is a shame, I like her with Knux.
Which brings us to the best bit!
Now I believe he’s probably much better in the ring than we’ve ever seen. But the Character, is awesome. He makes it work, and he’s just on a whole different level. Knux, Terry, Rebel, all quite easily could be fired tomorrow and the entire Menagerie thing can carry on just fine without them.
Aside from the fact that the whole meaning of the name is a group of course.
Velvet picks up a win by holding the trunks of Rebel… too much.
EC3 vs. Rhino – Street Fight
I cannot believe that I just wrote “Street Fish!”
I’ve corrected it of course, but the fact my instinct went to Fish, amuses me greatly.
I suppose a Street Fish is pretty much a Street Shark, and they were awesome.
This whole thing kicked off with Kurt Angle, Mr. Fish himself, with his puckered up sucker lips.
Angle has never felt genuine, or real in his entire run as the Executive Director. He sounds so de-motivated that I just don’t believe a single word out of his mouth.
Things like “I…look..forward..to…being…here…each…..and…….ev…er..y weeeeeeek”.
I got bored typing that.
What I did like however was the whole “You don’t look like you’re ready to Wrestle.. good, I won’t make you… it’s a Street Fight!” Or fish, I’m easy.
The match was what it was.
Thankfully EC3 won, this whole thing is putting over EC3 more than anything else. Was that the point?
The crowd seemed to be enjoying cheering for him too. Hey, whatever, Rhino sucks.
I get the thinking of Rhino being a New York guy, given his ECW heritage. But when you put him as a mindless idiot, even if he decides he wants to eat a guys Ass (his words, not mine), no body cares, because you booked him as a mindless idiot.
There’s only one thing I want to see now, is that mindless idiot get his ass kicked. So I’ve enjoyed it.
The new Knockouts Calandar is now a Storyline, so that’s exciting. Nothing sets the Knockouts Division apart from the Divas more than letting them post for a Calander in their skimpiest clothes then fall out with each other over who is prettier and petty jealousy.
That worked wonders.
And just like you would suspect, Velvet and Angelina are having issues again. Why, dear lord, why, do they need to be this way? Why does it have to be Angelina forcing herself as the dominent one. Why can’t they just be bad together.
I hate that.
Clearly Angelina is the leader, because it’s a Wrestling business and Velvet struggles to run the ropes, let alone anything more complicated then that. Case closed, facts are facts people.
ODB is in the Calandar.. but not the Company. Flaw number one.
Brooke is in the Calander, not seen her in how long?
Then Disco Bane crashed the party with some of that Dubstep’z and stole Gail’s Knockouts Championship. Which led them to fight each other for a while.
Also Bane beat up some guys, Taz seemed suprised. I do like the fact that they picked the skinniest guys around. Not really head turning levels of impressive.
Could be worse though, she could be Chyna. Come to TNA for one match, fall over whilst picking up Jarrett then leaving right away to go back to Porn…. and look like a man.
Wow… I’m brutal this week! I like it!
James Storm and The Great Sanada vs. Austin Aries and Tajiri
I always thought some objects, tools and lark would be universal. Like a Spanner, it would still be Spanner in a different country, just a different name, same job.
Yet apparently in Japan their tools are a little different. Evidently their Buzz Saws must be rather slow, dull, out of shape and boring.
“You still got it!” – Funny, I don’t remember a time when he had it.
The great leader James Storm, who won his first match in ages by being on the Winning team, seems like an odd fit for the character he’s playing.
Again, I like the idea behind it. I just don’t like the execution. I don’t think the Silver Bathrobe and Beer Bottle make Storm look like Revolutionary Leader. He looks like a Drunk who got a shower in his robe.
Team 3D vs. The Hardyz vs. The Wolves – Tables Match
Another good match, but still not on the Level I’m looking for.
I hate to say it, but Matt really seems a step behind everyone else and it’s rather noticeable.
My originally prediction was quickly turned around when I realised the pattern. Which now means, it’s less impressive.
The Wolves are going to win in the Ladder Match next week, then I imagine we will have Full Metal Mayhem, combining the Tables and the Ladders. Much like how TLC was put together originally.
This isn’t really a problem, only that you know who will win. But you don’t know, is who will win the actual match that matters, which would be the final one.
Another thing I dislike about Tag-Team Tables matches, is that One guy needs to go through a Table. I get that it can get rather confusing after a while, but both guys need to go through a Table for a match to be won. That’s the best way to do it!
The Hardyz picked up the win with Jeff dropping a Swanton from the top rope to the floor putting Eddie through a Table.
Also how naff do the Wolves look now, losing twice, and Eddie being the deciding factor both times (I believe).
Jeff climbed up a Ladder whilst Matt dragged his sorry ass as high as he could, out of breath, panting he issued the Challenge for next week.
Which brings us to next week – No Surrender!
Knockouts Battle Royal
Homicide vs. Samoa Joe
Hardyz vs. Team 3D vs. Wolves – Ladder Match
Bobby Lashley vs. Bobby Roode – World Championship
Yay, time for the Predictions!
I forgot to do this segment the last few times, so let’s drop it like it’s hot.
If the Knockouts Battle Royal is for the Championship then Gail will Win.
If it’s a Number One Contenders.. the smart choice would be Havok, but I will go with Velvet.
Samoa Joe will retain, it’s insulting to think any other way.
The Wolves will win.
Bobby Lashley will win.