Tag Archives: battle royal

Monday Night Raw #1265, August 28, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

50 men have come, and 50 men have fallen. Officially – NO ONE can beat him! Love him or hate him – he had your attention and that’s real. RESPECT HIS GANGSTA!

Actually I wanna address the haters real quick… still in denial? Talking about ‘it took 10 rounds to take a non-boxer out’ – it will take me 10 seconds for me to tell you – SHUT THE F**K UP! Go and lose 10lbs, invest in that tenner in your pocket instead of ordering pizza for your racist fat @$$!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1265! We getting money YEP! Hall Of Famer YEP! He deserves it YEP!

Steph Raw

NO RAW beginning? We just gonna start with The Miz with his annoying self!

We got Jerry Lawler on commentary! You think he’s gonna be dutty towards Alexa Blitch?

Just as The Miz was gonna chat sh!t, Kurt Angle interrupts the proceedings!

Kurt Angle has no respect??? I’d rather Kurt have no respect than The Miz having no manners!

Looks like there is gonna be in a battle royal! Winner faces The Miz at the No Mercy joint! Oh wait – I got it wrong – it’s running NEXT WEEK on RAW – Intercontinental title defense!

Remind me in the morning I must start watching the Mae Young Classic jump off… the #1 reason I put back on my WWE Network – me want to see the gyal dem fight!

The Miz seems to be enjoying what he’s seeing from this Battle Royal! Everyone dashing each other out the ring and falling on their side!

Oh so that’s why… he got his cronies up in the match too! But what if Bo Dallas or Curtis Axel win? (hypothetically…)

Bray Wyatt TEEEF! He wasn’t in the match! Appeared out of nowhere doing his children of the corn sh!t and dashed Finn Balor out! CALLING STIPULATION FOR NO MERCY!

Just when you thought Jason Jordan was the favourite to win… Jeff Hardy emerges victorious! Oh wow! I like this!!!! The Miz doesn’t like it I can tell you that!

Now that Enzo fights on 205 Live, the question remains – is he still gonna mix it up with the regular roster?

Big Cass is out the game for a good number of months! Dayuuuum… that’s his push on hold before it even began!

At least we can keep it moving because quite frankly, that storyline was wack homes!

Neville doesn’t seem to be impressed with Enzo’s fighting style! He thinks he’s gonna be champion for ever! For ever ever? FOR EVER EVER!!!!!

WHOA! Brock Lesnar twice in two weeks!!! Good lord! Not even Undertaker got this treatment with Brock’s appearance dates!

GRANT BODY-P!

Don’t get it twisted – I’m not that dude who complains about Brock’s status and how he defends his Universal Championship, actually I’m that dude who doesn’t give a f**k – I got nothing to lose – Brock can do what the f**k he wants!

Not just that… Brock spoke as well! Man this is serious! Snatched the mic from Heyman like “What he’s saying is – Suplex City B!tch!”

Hold up – Seth Rollins just teefed a move from Apollo Crews! He can’t do that! Standing reverse moonsault while opponent was on the canvas!

Uh oh! I like this! If Emma defeats Mickie James, it’s hashtag city! However, if Mickie wins, Emma can’t say she started this women’s revolution sh!t!grant-body-p

What the rarse? They changed Emma’s music! Er… I don’t get it! 2K games – don’t worry about that!

OH SNAP! Emma defeats Mickie James! Maybe the music change was worth it! Emma started the women’s revolution! I know! We learn something new every day! Poor Mickie, maybe she needs to find a new love interest or something…  back in the day she wanted to get her scissors on with Trish… god dayuuuum!

I am quite shocked that they are running John Cena Vs Roman Reigns at the No Mercy joint… I mean, it has big BIG WrestleMania written all over it… even Mike Cole said so!

John Cena just says he has no Fs to give! Well nor do I Cena! Join the club!

Er… Double R.. rubbing it in about retiring the Undertaker! I respect it but don’t do that!

Cena just called Reigns a ‘Corporate created John Cena bootleg!’ Yo keep me outta this!

Cena is killing Reigns on how to cut a promo! Reigns is now going for low blow techniques on the mic! Reigns is recovering though!!! I think they have thrown the script away here!

“I’m still here because you can’t do your job!” Damn Reigns!!! HOLY SMOKES! I feel bad for you… I really do! The likes of CM P**k and The Rock have struggled against Cena’s lyrical sword!

Trust me – the IWC are gonna be partying hard with those memes this week!

Elias Samson is the ‘Elvis’ of the WWE? So does that mean he’s gonna dead on the toilet?

GRANT BODY-P!

You done it now Elias –  you provoked Jerry Lawler! I hope Lawler doesn’t send for his singlet…you know what happened last time!

What is this nonsense? Pelvis Wesley? Southpaw Regional Wrestling? GETTHEF**KOUTTAHERE! Put on Alexa and Sasha sexy @$$! Oh lawwwd…

Let me get my mint & chocolate chip ice cream y’all – I wanna see Sasha brukk up Alexa blodclart all over again!

You see – Alexa & Sasha don’t like each other in real life – they should apply this in the storylines! Look how successful the feud between Edge & Matt Hardy was, or HBK Vs Bret Hart! That added intensity! Right now I’m not feeling that with Alexa & Sasha…

OH SNAP! Alexa Bliss – NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION WOMEN’S CHAMPION! Nia Jax congratulates her – OH SNAP! Nia just put her down on some Batista sh!t – BLAOW! YES!!! I smell Triple Threat… she took out Sasha as well!

BRAVO RAW! I made it through the three hours! I yawned here and there but yes! Y’all came through! Double R & Cena though… good lord! That’s what we like – throw away the robotics – keep it 100 on the mic!

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1207, July 11, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

brockvorton

Well then! Brock Lesnar mash-up the dude Mark Hunt, Portugal won the Euro 2016, and muthaf***az are complaining about this Summerslam match up. I thought you guys wanted this match??? Do you want a refund like that idiot who complained because Danny Bryan was injured? You never heard the story? Check this out…

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/business/NBC10-Responds-WWE-Refund_Philadelphia-386306511.html

THE GRANT SAYS THIS: This muthaf***a hasn’t had any pu$$y in all his life! And is not likely to get any pu$$y any time soon! He gonna die and be in a box….a VIRGIN!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news,  just remind me to put up a nice picture of that Miesha Tate lady…. I feel bad for her because she lost her title… but god damn – GOD DAMN!!!!!

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RAW #1207! I’m gonna put on my purple suit, god fist combo no pu$$y getting basement jabronies online, then I’m gonna BEAT UP JOHN CENA!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

OH NO! VINCENT KENNEDY IS ON THIS WEEK! We gonna see the Vincent Kennedy walk! He’s gonna say sh!t like “In this very ring…” and “I’m Vince McMahon damnit!” If I was Shane and Steph, I would hide behind the couch!!!!

This is gonna jump off with the battle royal! Winner gets to fight The Miz at the Battleground… because he’s The Miz… and he’s a B!TCH!!!

Wait a sec – did I just see Bob Backlund? YES I DID SEE Bob Backlund! Darren Young is out there… but I’m not watching him too much… he might think I want something….

GRANT BODY-P!

Yes Miz I agree with you – Maryse is beautiful but she doesn’t get my d!ck hard – SORRY!

Darren Young has won the sh!t! By eliminating NOBODY!!!!! I suppose he was the last man in the ring…. and the crowd are down with Darren Young! But I bet Darren Young wants to get down with the crowd!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

UH-OH!! The Rollins Report???? He got exclusive footage of Roman Reigns disrespecting the fans? I GOTTA SEE THIS!!! As a journalist, my ears and eyes will be razor-sharp like The RZA!

Plus! On the Battleground Highlight Reel… Jericho talks to Randall! Oh boy… that should be good!

So they remixed Wack Ryder’s music… wicked wow…. sense my sarcasm???? PENNY TAUGHT ME!

PENNY

Excellent work Sheamus! You mash-up Batty Ryder! Ten the super athlete put him in the accolade super move and accepts Ryder’s challenge for the US Championship! in which, Batty Ryder will lose again! This time Rusev… BREAK HIS BACK like your name is Bolo Yeung!

Ok we gonna see the footage!!!! What did Roman Reigns do? Was he that guy? Was he doing drugs? Did he cheat on his wife and find himself in a sex tape? Or was it that WrestleMania 31 footage when he pushed a fan for being all up in his grill?

Typical Seth Rollins! Editing the Roman Reigns interviews he had with Mike Cole! GET OUTTA HERE!!!! Edge & Christian did the same sh!t on their show that reeks of awesomeness! Only that I struggled to laugh at most of their sketches…

GRANT BODY-P!

Both Deano and Seth just delivered killer promos!!! They are doing a superb job of filling the void that is Roman Reigns!

Seth wants that one on one jump off so bad – he got it! But he wants to do it on his terms… dude – YOU STILL GON’ LOSE!!!

Still not amused that the Zayn Vs Owens jump off is a single match at Battleground… where is the muthaf**k!n stipulation WWE? They already had a single match in NXT! I don’t wanna see that sh!t again???? If you gonna end the feud… END IT RIGHT!

OH SNAP! VINCENT KENNEDY IS HERE! He’s gonna name the new ‘commissioner’ of Smackdown when it jumps off next week! NO – WRESTLING FANS – IT’S SOMEBODY ‘NEW’… someone who hasn’t run the show before! It’s a new era FOOL!

OH NO! John Cena is ‘practicing’ at the ESPY show? What sort of show is that??? Enzo & Cass are gonna get brukk up! Then the Bullet Club are gonna take a plane, fly down to wherever this show is…. and then…………….er….then er……………………………er…………………………………………………………………………….. BEAT UP JOHN CENA!!!!!!

Anytime these social idiots are on, that’s the time I disappear… so I’ll be back, after… I get this ice cream, pay some bills, and BEAT UP JOHN CENA! Get em TITUS! BRUKK THEM UP!

Miesha_Tate_7

Miesha Tate, what I WOULD LOVE TO DO TO YOU… half guard, full guard, mounted position, side control, work you all over that octagon!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

You mean to tell me Sasha punched Dana through school buses so much that Dana’s  messed up headtop challenged her to a match? Dana… I’ll have New Cross Hospital on notice, and if STC’S Ed Mulhall comes to visit… I cannot help you…

OH MY GAWD THAT IS ENOUGH!

AAAAAHH SH!T The New Day gone to the Wyatt Compound…. hey Wyatt – BLACK LIVES MATTER!!!! That was some wild sh!t!!!! PG gone out the window! That right there… they just showed the Hardy Bwoy how to do it!

By the way, I have not seen that video the Hardys have done… nor do I have any interest in watching 17 minutes of that sh!t! I am the Infamous Informer and I have better things to do!

Come on kids, How can you want Cena when he’s not there??? You want the Bullet club an excuse to beat him up?

Er…. maybe the kids have summoning powers!!!! John Cena is here! Now the Bullet Club can beat him up!!! Er kids… can you chant Naomi then she can turn GRANT BODY PHENOMup at my door????

GRANT BODY-P!

Now this is what I came to see! Dana you fine but you gonna get BUSS ARSE! As for you Charlotte, you look like you ready to jump out on a casual date with your boy!

Gotta say Dana Brooke is going in with this match though!!!!

Charlotte – I love you but you are outta order and bright – Sasha doesn’t get lucky – no one has been able to defeat her since she jumped on RAW! But you forgot about all that didn’t you Charlotte? Get down on your long knees, take it out my majestic member, and put it between your wet lips, and suck!

GRANT BODY-P!

This is it! We gonna find out who gonna be running tings! They left this segment til last… so this is bound to leave my jaw dropped!

Haha Steph and Shane gotta fight their corner in the boardroom! Vincent Kennedy turn into Alan Sugar now!

Shane got the Smackdown spot, Stephanie got RAW, RAW is still 3 hours… Vincent Kennedy wants them to compete even if they break the law!!!! Inherit the keys to the kingdom! Each gotta employ a general manager as well! Ahhh sh!t! I can hear the fans crying -‘take it back to TV 14! That’s breaking the law!’ And Stephanie nearly brukk her ankle coming down the ring steps! It would be a sad day to see Stephanie with a brukk foot! Then she tried to do the Vincent Kennedy walk! HAHAHAAHAHA! DON’T GIVE ME JOKE!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1138, March 16, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

SHOUT OUTS:

I wanna big up my ninja from another mother – King Vaughn, check out his latest blog on his Top 10 WrestleMania events. Broken down and dissected, that man did the knowledge. CLICK HERE to check it out!

I also wanna big up my people at BDSIR Network Perfect Plex Talk Radio, superb interview with the man call Bruce Prichard – that man keeps it real, and hear Spotface break down and do the knowledge on the Evolution of Randy Orton and how it takes effect on Seth Rollins. With the Smack Talk Centre on their network, y’all wonder why they are the Best Damn Show In Radio heading into their 1000th podcast. CLICK HERE for the replay!

I’m the Infamous Informer, and I have NO sympathy, NO compassion, NO remorse, and I heard that somebody in PWL doesn’t read the news… I’ll leave it at that… for now!

ARE YOU EXCITED YET??? RAW #1138, HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZF**kin brilliant, the stream I’m using has those irritating adverts I can’t get rid of…well looks like Seth Rollins has recovered from last week’s beating from he who has voices in his head and they chat to him!

It’s ok – I got rid of the bullsh!t, let’s enjoy this RAW sh!t!

Look at Big Show apologising like a b!tch – where the f**k was you when Seth was getting buss arse!!!! Where was your Sean P punch???? SHUDDUP!!!

And as for you Glenn, with your stupid suit on, if you had your mask on, Randall would have been on fire by now…

And as for you J&J, I suggest if you want forgiveness, you join the Seth Rollins suck my d!ck club… you two jabronies take turns – one handle the balls while the other gets that cock meat sandwich!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WHOA!!! Rollins accepts the match at WrestleMania! Watch out Randall! Watch out for the Tandem Engine!

But he promises to END the future!!!! He’s gonna kick the future in his head!!!! We might not see that solar eclipse… but Rollins might!

Here comes the skipping anti-divas!!!! I’m sorry I’m laughing at JAY-BEE (JBL) is cussing Cole for getting the WrestleMania times wrong!!!! OH SH!T!!!!GRANT & LAYLA WWE2K15

Uh-Oh!!! The Bella twins don’t support the hash tag – #GiveDivasAChance, they say #GiveUsABreak… well THE GRANT SAYS – Watch where you walk Bellas! It would be a damn shame if Paige and AJ Lee ‘break’ your sexy bones with their submission techniques!

…I mean, Brie… don’t you want babies? How you gonna do that if Paige and AJ Lee make you look like Boxing Helena????

Boxing Helena

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Apart from Nikki defeating AJ Lee… OHHHHHHH!! Nikki you need a goooooood f**k! I think Rusev should get in that pu$$y and include Lana…. that will REALLY F**K Cena up!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

…and to think… the divas had a decent time in the ring right there!

Sounds like Big Slow and Glenn have changed their tune! Now they think Seth deserved the beat down! They enjoyed it apparently… Well I can see Glenn enjoying it anyway!

OH NO! Mizdow has to make sure that The Miz wins the André The Giant Battle Royal… or he’s fired! Well if it was good enough for Austin, Jim Ross, Mick Foley, Bischoff, John Meningitis… it’s good enough for you Mizdow!

Well Mizdow didn’t help the Miz against Ryback… he can’t be fired for that surely??? It’s only if Miz loses the battle royal!

But he got dropped with the Skull Crushing Finale – BLAOW!!!! Come on Mizdow! If Austin stood up to McMahon and beat him up every week I can’t see what the problem is!

OOOOOH SH!T – John Cena vs Rusev – contract signing!!! You know Rusev is going through that table right???!!!!

Make up your mind jabronies – what you chanting? John Cena sucks? Or USA! USA! John Cena stepped out of the title picture  and you fools still chant Cena sucks? Well I suppose y’all keeping it real… come on guys get a stipulation on this sh!t!

Look at the kids in the audience!!!! They are emotional!!!! They want Cena to f**k up Rusev!!! Even I never thought it would come to this so I apologise to the IWC… I’m human like you… I still got more sense than you though!

Big up Cena! It’s no longer a contract signing! It’s a declaration of independence!!!! WROOOOOOY!

STC WRESTLEMANIA 31 SIGN BDSIR

Wait a minute… where Lana at? Is The Rock getting in that Putin??? Booker-T is upset! Crowd is upset! WE WANT LANA! This is INJUSTICE! Roman Reigns come down the stairs!

OH SNAP!!!! Rusev NEVER said that he was gonna defend his title against Cena!! There’s substantial evidence!!!!

MY GOD!!! Rusev has gone too far here! disrespecting generations of America! F**K it Cena – KICK HIS F**K!N @$$!!!!

Rusev signed the contract after running America down to the ground!!! WOW!!!! No way is this a simple wrestling match – F**K THAT!!!! Cena – you gotta go Extreme on his @$$! You think Rusev could talk to me about Jamaica Land We Love???? He’d be a DEAAAADDDDD Super athlete!

New Day are in effect!!! Natalya in all leather! YES!!!!!

Oh no that might be f**ked up… one of the USO brudda suffered a shoulder injury? He might miss big big WrestleMania? He can’t fight his best? BASTARD!

Dayuuum! Everybody walk out on Rollins! The Authority don’t wanna get kicked in their head! Stephanie must be thinking – ‘I’m just rubbing my t!tt!£$ like Simon Says!!!!’

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh my god…. OH MY GOD!!!!!! Brock Lesnar does not give a f**k!!!! Suddenly I’m gonna pray for Roman Reigns… I mean, I believe he can win… but we talking BRRRROCCCCK LESSSNARRR! Did you hear him? Contract or no contract, he gonna be the WWE Champion!

“I. WILL. F**K. UP. ROMAN REIGNS. THE END…” and leaves the set! Expect that line to sell on T-Shirts!!!! Either that or we gonna see memes of that sh!t!

It’s like Roman’s being trained by Paul Heyman! OBSERVE!

A LIE ME AH TELL???? GRANT BODY – P!!!

Big ups to Larry Zkysbzo! Hall Of Fame rude boy! Bruno Sammartino teach him to fight! That means he’s an official bad man!!! He stood up to the NWO in WCW!!! I give him props!

Oh snap! Heath Slater and Wack Ryder get TV time??? You know big Big WrestleMania soon come!

My Hero Mark Henry showed them how to do it! Dash everyone out the ring! THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!

BACKSIDE!!! LL Cool J gonna be at big BIG WrestleMania 31??? What’s he gonna perform? Mama Say Knock You Out? I Shot Ya? Ill Bomb? Or my personal favourite – 4,3,2,1???

LL Cool J WrestleMania 31

 

Why do WWE love cutting off Heyman’s mic? They don’t do that to the Miz?

Heyman says Brock is gonna give Roman a ‘prison beating’? That don’t sound good at all!!!! Now look what you’ve done Heyman! Talking too much sh!t has made Roman come down the stairs! You can’t tell Roman ‘you can’t’!!!

Big ups to JBL! Roman’s shirt might say ‘I Can, I Will’, but T-Shirts don’t win matches!!!

It’s a great message though… I Can, I Will… shout out to NAS!!!!

All Roman’s fam is gonna be at Big BIG WRESTLEMANIA! (Does that include Rikishi? The Rock???) It’s a wrap, no way am I bringing my family to watch me lose! F**K THAT!

Haha! R-Truth on that Shaggy ‘It Wasn’t Me’ sh!t with the Intercontinental Title! This 6 man tag match should be great, but I’m more interested in the outcome…

Shout out to STC’s Shadfather – my potna in crime on the STC From The UK show – he said the Intercontinental Title is cursed – IT IS! I compare it to the Soul Edge sword – that sword turns people mad and sh!t to whoever wields it!

Soul_Edge_SC2

Even Triple Teef & Stephanie are having none of it from Seth Rollins! Why do suddenly I think all this is a set up to make Randall think yeah – I’m gonna f**k him up again, but all that time the Authority had his back all along, only for Sting to appear from the rafters with his baseball bat and f**ks up everything! Now THAT would be Mark-Out Worthy!

Obviously after last week, Bray Wyatt hasn’t watched the news! Let me tell you in Brock Lesnar language:

UN.DER.TAY.KER. WILL. F**K. UP. BRAY.WYATT. THE END!

Oh no! Next week on Raw, not only is Brock and Reigns gonna ketch-up face to face, but Snoop Dogg is gonna be in the hiz-house??? You know the divas will make sure their pu$$!£$ are clean for next week!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Ok it’s only Seth & Randall in the ring now!

Or maybe not! I KNEW IT!!!!! The Authority tricked Randall – but they didn’t fool the Infamous Informer!!!! Has Triple got his hammer???

Oh my days they gonna rush him…. WAIT A MINUTE! The crow sounded!!! STING IN AH DE RING WITH HIS BASEBALL BAT! BEAT DOWN THE AUTHORITY! THREW HIS COAT AFTER TRIPLE! Randall Orton! RKO’in muthaf***az!!! OH SNAP!! TRIPLE IS BEX!!!

Big ups to Jim Johnston – I wasn’t with Sting’s theme originally, but listen to it good… that is some Mortal Kombat last boss sh!t right there!!!

 

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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