Tag Archives: Bobby Roode

Monday Night Raw #1312, July 16, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Why are we surprised?

HH N

This is what I support! A company which seemingly gets away with stereotypical values, claims to be all patriotic and all that… we have to remember something wrestling fans, Vincent Kennedy and Donald Trump are BREDRIN!

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Poor Mbappe! He’s like – ‘lawwwwwd – this woman is gonna rape me! Hey I’m flattered but – you got a daughter??? Actually never mind – I’ve seen what happens on pornhub!!!’

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RAW 1312! OK WWE stop f**k!n about! It’s all about SUMMERSLAM!!!

Remember now – this YouTube sh!t is not in order… I don’t watch live anymore…

Braun Strowman actually has regret! he regrets not congratulating Kevin Owens on his win at the Extreme Rules joint! That was the closest those wrestling muthaf***az will get to ‘wanting the attitude era back!’

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m not even gonna click the link on Mojo Rawley Vs Tyler Breeze…NEXT!

Bobby Roode Vs Dolph Ziggler – this isn’t for the intercontinental title is it?

Holy smokes! Mike Cole thought it was over, Corey Graves thought it was over and so did the coach, even I thought it was over! Ziggler hit the Zig Zag, Roode looked f**ked! 1, 2 and….Roode got the shoulder up!

Ziggler got him eventually though… no Drew Wackintyre around either…

How can Roode ‘think he’s god’ when he loses every week?

WHAT? Is that Alicia Fox I see on the telly? Holy crap on a cracker – IT IS!

Considering Sasha & Bayley are not friends again, Sasha ain’t letting Dana or Alicia beat Bayley up!

Shall I click on The B-Team Vs The Ascension? Decisions, Decisions!!! It’s three minutes long… there has bound to be some storyline here…

F**k it  – I don’t like the B Team, but you guys do so… let’s go in!

The Revival still looking on!!!! It’s time for WWE stop f**k!n about because Dash & Dawson – these guys are talented as f**k…

If Wyatt & Matt Hardy want to delete these fools… they should do it RIGHT… Stop this in-ring action crap and take it to ULTIMATE DELETION! Stop saying DELETE if you’re not gonna do it right guys!

Titus Worldwide Vs The Authors of Pain again??? Nah I’m not clicking this link. sorry guys!

But I will click on Sarah Logan Vs Ember Moon though…

Dayuuuuuuuuum Ember Moon’s attire though!!! Look at those TICK THIGHS! Her Wrestling panties struggling to cover her butt cheeks! Me & Ember Moon can be on some midnight marauders!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Words from the wise – NEVER defeat Ember Moon by underhanded tactics! Did you see the look on Ember’s face? Or more importantly – her contacts? I’m telling you now – if this was attitude era…Sarah Logan and Liv Morgan would have suffered a blood bath by now!

Debra bloodbath

Screenshot_2018-07-17 (2) Twitter

How about…ah….NAH??!!!!

Oh no! Elias drops new album July 23? Now I know NOT to go out and buy that sh!t!

You think it’s gonna be a 7-track affair produced by Kanye West????

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a second – Sasha loves Bayley???? YES! Now Sasha… get in Bayley’s tongue! LET’S GO!

(what was that about Sasha/Bayley turning heel? Once again wrestling fans are the experts!)

Let’s talk about these triple threat matches? It looks like to me, the winner of both matches face each other next week, then the winner of that faces Brock Lesnar right?

Dayuuuum Finn Balor is straight beating down Double R with the steel chair! This will make the haters happy surely!

Holy smokes! Balor was dropping straight knees to Wackintyre, then sees Double R coming, moves out the way – Reigns with a spear to Wackintyre – BLAOW!!! No way can Wackintyre recover now surely?

After Claymores and Coup De Grace… it was Double R’s Violent Spear that got him the victory…. yo that was crazy!

In the other match, Lashley is straight killing Elias & Rollins with his power moves!

Now Elias & Rollins find themselves combining their force to take out Lashley, but only one can advance!

That has to be my favourite move of Rollins – the Superplex into the Falcon arrow – was that in last year’s game? I don’t recall!

Rollins burns it down and hits the curb stomp to Elias – BLAOW! Here’s the cover! 1, 2 and…Lashley stops that sh!t!

Lashley goes to charge at Rollins, finds the ringpost instead, Seth rolls him up! 1, 2 and…nope!!! Seth kicks him down, sets him up, Elias intervenes, only to be met with Lashley’s spear – BLAOW! We got Reigns Vs Lashley II next week! That’s how it’s going!

Holy smokes – Mickie James!!!! She got pum-pum shorts on! Nah that woman needs a good f**k! Her man ain’t doin’ it right!

GRANT BODY-P!

Since when did Ronda Rousey become a one woman Shield? She’s coming down the stairs! Alexa gonna get f**ked up!

Rousey’s head top is braided! You know what that means!!! Alexa nuh read the news!

Here we go! Mickie & Alexa running for the hills!

Mickie nearly had her arm broken! LAWWWWWWWD!

Rousey is like – I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!

She took out three officials plus Mickie and Alexa! SHE WANTS TO KILL!

Kurt put an extra week on Ronda’s suspension! Baron Corbin gonna snitch to Stephanie! But he can’t find his phone! Has he tried the lobby? Somebody call his phone – that usually works!

Kurt got his phone!!! It might be a good idea to break that muthaf***a Kurt!

Oh no! Ronda MUST conform! That’s if she wants the Women’s championship at Summerslams!!! Ronda it’s only one week!!! Hold it down girl! Alexa doesn’t like that sh!t! Well tough t1tt!£$!

Now I’m guessing that this was the first segment, but I’m gonna talk about it last if you don’t mind!

I don’t know why wrestling fans be getting all hot and bothered about Brock not showing up and sh1t, I didn’t know you muthaf***az actually cared about the Universal Championship!

Kurt was gonna strip Brock of the title!

WHOAWHOAWHOAWHAOAHOWHAOAHWOWHOAWHAO!!!!!!! PAUL HEYMAN YOU ARE A FUNNY MUTHAF***A!

What Brock Lesnar wants to do, is represent the WWE Universe, by challenging for the UFC Heavyweight Title WITH the WWE Universal Championship around his waist! I can ride to that but he gotta show up and defend more! He’s not afraid of the likes of Elias, Seth Rollins, Drew Wackintyre surely? This is a man (or beast) who has been at war with The Undertaker…. he can’t be sweating whoever is back there? Even Braun Strowman! Braun looks up to the Undertaker for Pete’s sake!

Don’t you love when Heyman feels threatened, he always says this – ‘I’m just an advocate’!!

It’s soon time for me to start putting together the SmackTalkCentre Summerslam gathering promo video…..but before that… let’s throw up a pic of that Croatian president… she would GET IT STILL!

Croatian President

GRANT BODY-P!

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Monday Night Raw #1306, June 4, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

DAYUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM!!!

Sasha lb wear

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW SASHA???!!! GUUUUUUURRRRRRLLLLLL!!!! Sometimes… you have to use your cousin’s words against you…

On the Eastside, that’s the crew I choose
Nothing I do is new to you
I smack up the world if they rude to you
‘Cause baby girl, you’re so beautiful…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1306! I’m not tryna be on the YouTube tip… I got big things poppin, little things stopping. And unfortunately wrestling fans… I class this as little things… more like your… (CENSORED!!!)

I think it’s safe to say that I can never watch RAW or Smackdown live because my streams no longer work good, and more often than not I’m yawning through the sh!t. With that said, me garne ah mi bed. YouTube highlights from now on…

You would think that by now Elias would learn not to perform in front of the WWE Universe every week… he always gets interrupted!

It’s like a Mexican stand-off! Only that Elias has his guitar, and Seth Rollins has his steel chair! Rollins just whacked the guitar out of Elias hands! Elias is looking like – heeeeeeeee!!!! All scared and sh!t!

Oh no Jinder Mahal TEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!! Putting beats on Rollins! SEND FOR THE SHIELD! GET DOWN THE STAIRS ROMAN!

Either WWE edited out the boos or we must be in one of those ‘non pro wrestling’ cities because Double R is getting cheered as he comes to the aid of Rollins!

Dayuuuuum 199 losses??? Do you think Curt Hawkins is out to beat the Barry Horowitz Losing streak record?

Ok just found out RAW was in Houston Texas…. Come on James Harden! Make it 200!!!

Hold up – Baron Corbin? What is the meaning of this?

Baron Corbin hit the End of Days! The official is calling for the bell! OH SNAP!!! James Harden just WON BY DISQUALIFICATION! WHICH MEANS Curt Hawkins LOST AGAIN! It’s in the record books!

Turns out that Baron Corbin is now the ‘Constable’ of Monday Night Raw? Ah wha de rarse?

Hold up – Bobby Lashley – where is your fashion sense? You’re wearing a tight up jacket with a muscle t-shirt, jeans and cap? THAT DOESN’T MATCH!

Sami Zayn is calling Bobby Lashley a liar! That his inspirational quotes on instagram don’t mean sh!t! He apparently has a fan club which you pay $19.99 to subscribe! Not even my good friend pictured below does that for that much! And she’s a model! Mother of 5 children, ladies and gentlemen I give you – HauteMamaOf5!

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Just for the record, I haven’t subscribed… because if my lady found out, I would be sleeping on the couch!

GRANT BODY-P!

But Sami says Bobby was never in the army!!! He can’t do that??!!!! I see Bobby getting bex now…

Dayuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum look at Renee Young! She’s talking to Woken Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt of all people dressed like THAT? I’m sorry if that was me I would have to say something… fix my trousers like The Rock or something!

You see? Matt Hardy has the idea!!! Look at him biting his teeth! Renee looks uncomfortable! Renee says she’s woken but I’m high-powered – I’d f**k her back to sleep…

GRANT BODY-P!

Times like this I wished The Rock himself was on WWE doing these interviews with the likes of Renee, Charly Caruso etc… he’d tell em straight!

Oh dear… Natalya f**ked up her knee while fighting Nia Jax… you can see how this storyline is shaping up can’t you!

Nia Jax looks concerned actually… because Nia didn’t ‘injure’ the leg… Rousey is like – yo stay out of this!

What was that you fans were saying about Nia ‘turning heel’ in your memes? Shows you know a lot don’t you?

Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL!!! HE SPEAKS THE TRUTH! He says Double R thinks there is a conspiracy against him when in actual fact he had the most opportunities! THAT IS TRUE! Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL!

Guys – how can you NOT like Jinder Mahal??? This dude is funny!!!

“How dare you disparage my name!” He he hee hahahahaha JINDER STOP IT!

WOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIII!!!! And the fight is on!!!! JINDER MAHAL! ROMAN REIGNS! This is what I’m talking about!

Oh no! Alexa Bliss hurt her leg too! Come on Ronda get out here and see to your friend!

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a second! Alexa is leaving the building! Alexa is playing games!!! I never trusted that beeeeaatttch!

COME IN BAYLEY! She just helped the team win! Good on Bayley! Hahaha Corey Graves is bex! Gotta love it!

ARRRRRGHH TEEEEEF! Because Bayley wasn’t officially in the match, The Riott squad win! Baron Corbin exercising his authority! TEEEEEEEEEF!!!

This is what happens when you think you are god! You have to deal with the monster among men Braun Strowman! Bobby Roode gonna GET THESE HANDS!

I don’t think I’ve seen Strowman do that suplex before!

Er… Bobby… I don’t think ladders are allowed in this contest!

Ah I see! Bobby tricked Braun into doing that ‘running round the ring’ sh!t! He rolled under the ladder and now he’s laughing at Strowman! I don’t think that is too smart!

WHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAH!!!!! I’M DUN!!!!! THAT’S THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!

BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! HE BROKE THE LADDER WITH HIS BARE HANDS! BOBBY ROODE WAS LIKE – LAWWWWWWD JESUS!

(At this point this week’s blog has come to an abrupt end. The Infamous Informer was in so much hysterics that he cannot continue this blog! What Braun Strowman did was absolute GOLD. To find out more of what happened on RAW this week, hit up YouTube and find out!)

ROFL

GRANT BODY-P!

 

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Monday Night Raw #1302, May 7, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

SERIOUSLY???

backlash-fans-leaving

WALKING OUT THE JOINT? It couldn’t have been THAT BAD???

Guys – he didn’t win the World Wrestling Federation Championship… you do know that right?

You know what – your actions makes me NOT wanna write this blog word up!

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RAW 1302! Ok I do agree with you guys, Samoa Joe Vs Double R should NOT have been the main event… that’s taking the p!$$!

I got those big @$$ hula hoops, spicy chilli flavor, mint aero (actually I might put that back and wait for Smackdown because that’s Naomi flavour) and get the jaffa cakes… come on WWE give me some joke!

I am already experiencing problems with this stream, and with the mood I’m in, I might just switch it off, and put on that Cobra Kai thing on YouTube…  have you seen it yet? I’ve watched the first two episodes, and it’s already compelling! Good job Ralph Macchio!

Braun Strowman Vs Kevin Owens, winner goes through to Money Innah Bank… unlucky Kevin!!!

“THIS IS WHAT YOU DESERVE YOU COWARD!!!!”  Braun is f**k!n up Kevin Owens!

Check it – 4 superstars each from RAW & Smackdowns (Men & Women) will compete in the Money Innah Bank Ladder match… this is what I’m saying! STEP THEIR GAME UP! On the same token, this is on YOUR HEAD fans! You’re the ones like ‘cut down the PPVs’… so don’t come with your noise like ‘why is this guy not in it’??? SHUT THE F**K UP!

Happy Birthday Kevin Owens! Oh man! He really is getting birthday beatings!

HAHAHAHA!!!! The run around the ring and then box him down! PUT THAT MOVE IN WWE 2K19 PLEASE!!! What we do know… Braun is going to Money In The Bank… that’s worries for everybody!

The Big Dog is p!$$£d the f**k off!!! AND RIGHTFULLY SO! But what about Mr Lesnar? Aaaaaaah sheeeeeet he’s gonna beat the 434 streak for real!

Jinder thinks he should be in the Money In The Bank ladder match? He’s almost as insane as Kanye according to Jiggaman!

GRANT BODY-P!

Sasha Banks Vs Ember Moon Vs Ruby Riott… winner goes to Money In The Bank… Sasha girl you fine but backing Ember Moon here!!! OWWWWWWWW!!!

OH SH!T! Something went down in the crowd to make security escort them out the building! What the hell happened? Answers on a postcard please! Crowd was chanting YOU DESERVE IT! Don’t tell me someone was masturbating over Liv Morgan?

GRANT BODY-P!

The Riot Squad being teef with Sasha Banks! Bayley came down to help! But this enabled Ember Moon to hit the Eclipse on Ruby Riot – BLAOW!

Gotta love WWE right? Talking about Bobby Lashley’s career, and blatantly ignoring the

Renee ypung sexy ass

Photo courtesy of Edd Mulhall

TNA sh!t! Renee Young wants to know about Bobby Lashley the man… more like she secretly wants some BBC –

OH MY GOD!!! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING!!! YO YO YO!!!! STOP IT!!!

Check it – Jinder Mahal must defeat Chad Gable…if he wants to get into the Money In the bank… wait – the Coach just said Chad reminds him of a young Kurt Angle… Jason Jordan are you watching this???

Jinder Mahal got the Collass on Chad Gable – BLAOW!!! But Mahal wanted to buss up Chad Gable after that… oh dear…

After all that!!!! Kurt Angle gave Jinder a NAUGHT! What a b!tch!

Who would want to Walk With Elias when you can Strut Gloriously with Bobby Roode??

There’s my pick right there!!! Bobby Roode to win the Money Innah Bank! Imagine the storylines going forward! Braun is too obvious… he would cause the most ruckus….actually he would be a good choice as well!

Who wants to test Seth Rollins for the Intercontinental Championship? Oh no… Mojo Rawley? This fool? Yo Seth – send for the TANDEM ENGINE!

Gotta admit – Mojo Rawley is going IN against Seth Rollins! But he couldn’t withstand the curb stomp – BLAOW!

Look at Rollins swinging the belt like a helicopter like his name is Petey Pablo!

Fancy that… The Deleater Of Worlds facing ‘Daxel’… Brother must fight brother! (Wyatt Vs Bo Dallas) This should be good!

Oh it’s finished already? Sorry I was playing Street Fighter…

GRANT BODY-P!

Finn Balor Vs Sami Zayn Vs Roman Reigns! Winner goes to Money Innah Bank! Imagine if Reigns won… oh boy oh boy!

OH SNAP! WWE is in the UK next week! Aaaah sheeeeeet! Get restraining orders ready for the following women: Natalya, Nia Jax, Naomi, Charlotte & Becky… if the Infamous Informer is within 10 feet of those lovely young ladies – arrest him on the spot!

WWE SPICE GIRLS

Jinder Mahal baited it up for Reigns! He’s gonna pay for that I will assure you!

Finn Balor hits the Coup De Grace on Sami Zayn! Balor advances! Are you happy now muthaf***az? Balor is on a PPV! Now shut the f**k up!

GRANT BODY-P!

 

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The Jobber Blogger – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 5/11/14

jobber blogger bonfireYup, that’s about as exciting as it gets.

I went to a Bonfire. It was a little one behind a local Pub, I watched it from a Distance…. was nice. Then went home.

Number One Hundred and Thirty Three! Good old #133 – reminds me of nothing.

You know, I’m struggling with TNA these days. It seems of late, though their program is usually fairly solid, and despite the odd expectation, it’s just a little… boring.

I’m not bored watching it, but my enthusiasm for the product is drifting. But then, as I constantly moan about, I’m sure that’s down to the fact it’s Taped. It doesn’t feel right, least not what we’re used to.

Which is an interesting and also non relevant thing, given what I will talk about in a minute.

I suppose when I pull it apart, TNA is pretty good. Bobby Roode is champ, The Hardyz are competing, the Tag-Team Tournament was awesome. I like the direction of the Knockouts currently, though a little more than just Havok would be nice, granted Madison and Taryn are feuding, but it’s taken a huge back seat to Havok.

Whilst on the topic of the Knockouts, I miss Brooke – Tessmacher that is, not Hogan.

She did an interview recently about being more involved with TNA again next year. Hopefully The Amazing Race will bring Brooke and Robbie E over as an on-air couple when it’s all finished.

I’ve never watched it, I don’t even know what it is…. I’m guessing their Racing? And that it probably isn’t as Amazing as the name implies.

Anyway, lets break down TNA Impact when I get to Impact.

redlinebootcampLet’s talk about British Bootcamp.

I mentioned Episode 1 two weeks back, but then I hadn’t got round to watching Episode 2 in time for last week’s Jobber Blogger. So now I’m up to date with all 3 episodes watched by my eyes.

Currently, Boot Camp is more exciting to me than Impact.

Should that be possible?

Episode 2 was alright, the high light was obviously that Andrews chap whose name I’ve gotten… aside from the Andrews part.

Episode 3 however brought it up a notch, everyone was good. I’m glad they are all going through to this week’s (tonight’s) show.

The idea of all of them competing on a Card, that’s awesome! So yeah, I’m pumped. I don’t know who I’m rooting for. I guess Grado has the advantage as obviously all that mess was a work.

I say obviously… it seems obvious to me, but then I could be wrong. Probably not though.

It’s this weird “Reality” meets “Wrestling” that never quite feels right.

TNA try their hand at it all the time, but it leaves far too many problems and plot holes… like the stars watching the product.

Which brings me to the thing I’m most excited to talk about!

redlinelucha-underground-tna

Oh yes!

I am Biased! Granted, anything Rodriguez has his name on, I’m excited for.

I don’t know how much input he has on Lucha Underground, but it sings with his influence, or least the influence of the Mexican culture.

I’ve been looking forward to watching this for ages, it’s debut last week in America actually took me by surprise, I didn’t think it was so close to coming out.

But it’s hitting a lot of the Wrestling News and it’s viewership in just one week jumped 163%.

Ladies and Gentleman – It’s Good!

Now I don’t if we’re all excited because it’s something new?

Because not only is it something “new” but it’s something totally different for a Wrestling show. It’s got a good budget, it looks and feels like parts of my WCW memories.

It’s got new faces, and it’s got a whole Wrestling Legacy and Culture that rarely gets showcased to the level it’s capable of. That being Lucha Libre.

What is vastly different, is it’s a Television show, and it knows it.

Every single segment is beautifully shot, not always beautifully acted, it still has Wrestlers in it. But it’s Cinematic. It’s exciting.

It’s Storyline driven and already feels like it’s got an “arc” in place.

Also it made me like Chavo Guerrero! I’ve never liked Chavo Guerrero!

It’s got balls, it’s got direction, it’s got vision.

And above all else, it’s got Wrestling.

Matt Striker stole a good TNA quote “I dare you to tune into any other Wrestling promotion and find action like this”.

Hey TNA, now you need to compete with Lucha Underground, because Mundo and Puma, that’s the level the bar is now set at. And you are a long, long way from reaching it.

Something anyone who reads my ramblings will be familiar with is my love for Tigre Uno!

tigre uno fn

He is fantastic, and impresses me every single time I see him compete, which bugs me because TNA have done nothing to help him out.

Every time he has a match, or isn’t used, I moan about TNA using him better.

Hey, there is now a solution, which from now on, I shall use.

Release Tigre Uno.

Let him go to Lucha Underground and perform on that level, because he can, and that would be amazing.

Without turning this into a new blog about Lucha Underground, I will end it by saying I hope they keep fresh faces, I don’t want a lot of well known stars turning up. There are of course some exceptions. First and foremost – AJ Styles.

Global Force Wrestling is heating up too, and I’m excited to watch that. But right now, Lucha is doing something Wrestling shows have never been able to do.

And it’s Freakin Working!

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Impact Wrestling LogoTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 5/11/14

That might be the longest Intro to The Jobber Blogger in #133 issues.

It is tradition to start the show with a new Heavyweight Champion. Unless you’re the WWE and your Heavyweight Champions only compete 8 times a year.

But I digress.

Kurt Angle introduced Bobby Roode.

We’ve not had Roode as World Champion with his “Off the Chain” entrance theme, it matches.

Roode has always looked good with the World Title, and no that’s not taking it lightly, I think the TNA World Championship is a pretty bad design. I don’t hate it, I think it’s a little over the top and garish though. Not to mention it’s Too Big for most guys who have held it. It’s far too long in length and leaves the silly floppy strap at the back.

Yeah I’m picky. So what.

Roode now being World Champ actually feels like it matters. It’s not like Lashley has had a bad run at all, but Roode just seems to carry himself better. Or TNA least want to invest more time into him.

Saying that, AJ Styles taking the belt from Bully Ray and leaving TNA with it, that was far better. Well, only if you look past the fact that he never came back that is.

Tenay and Taz went on and on about how Lashley deserves a Re-match. Being such a dominant Champion. Which is laying the ground for a Face turn surely.

Because in my eyes, as a fan. Does Lashley deserve a Re-match? Me personally, I’d say yes, but that’s because I like him. Given that he was throwing out Low-Blows and Belt Shots last week, and that he’s won multiple times from the help from MVP and King. No, probably not.

What TNA is doing with Havok, is how Lashley should have been World Champ. It just didn’t quite work out that way.

MVP got on Roode’s case and offered up a Challenge of Roode vs. MVP for the World Championship. To which Angle said, and I quote “Roode, would you mind putting the Belt on the line?”

I get it, he’s words are not meant to be taken literal, but a few weeks back Angle himself told Lashley “it is your job do defend the belt whenever and wherever”. So in my eyes, “would you mind” doesn’t come into it.

Do I analyse this too much?

blueline

Samoa Joe and Low Ki vs. The Hardyz – Tag-Team Tournament – Finals

As much as I like Low Ki’s abilities, his presence, his entrance and how he carries himself. I hate, Hate, his promos.

He sounds ridiculous.

I said this before, but when he is next to Joe, it’s the dumbest thing you can possibly hear. Joe is fluent in the Promo language. He gets it, he’s wordy, intimidating, electric, dark, whatever he needs to be. Low Ki sounds like a $50 budget Mortal Kombat voice actor.

The intro package to this match which bounced back from Joe’s speeches to Low Ki’s, was hilariously dreadful.

Aside from that opening rant, I only wrote down that I love Matt’s Side-Effect move.

I’ve loved it since he brought it into his arsenal, it’s an awesome manoeuvre.

Anyone who knows me, knows I love Tag-Team Wrestling, so this has been an awesome and surprising tournament.

Surprising because I actually didn’t think The Hardyz would win.

For me, they should win, because of who they are, what they’ve accomplished and how good they are as a team, especially given the experience factor along between them and their opponents.

But given that they’ve fought the Wolves before, then took part in the Tag-Team series and lost on all occasions, I just didn’t think they’d be getting through to Round three.

But here we are, so I am looking forward to it. I just feel with Storm’s involvement with Richards, it’s probably going to be a more sucky kind of story match.

Who knows.

blueline

Samuel Shaw and Brittany took to the ring… to do… something.

I’ve never liked Shaw’s attempt of a beard, being so thin and fuzzy, it just looked… horrible. But eliminating it to have a creepy porn star moustache. Yup, that’s worse.

And it didn’t stop there, Brittany was swinging on it, pulling it around, then pulling his mouth around and licking it. I didn’t need to see that.

Gunner obviously got involved, and resorted straight to bad mouthing Shaw and digging up the old “Creepy Bastard” chant.

Funny how Gunner went from being all noble, to verbally attacking him over someone else’ influence. You’d think given Gunner’s background in the Military and experience dealing with problematic individuals, who’d do less to attack them, and more to help them.

But then, it is Wrestling.

I don’t really care where this goes. Shaw is better the crazier he is, and Brittany just helps that. Gunner will just drift on to remain Gunner. The only reason I’d be more interested in this development is if Anderson gets involved again.

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TNA’s got a Brand New Star.

See you later Chris Malendez and say Hello to Mahogany Simba!

tna simba

It’s true, I have no idea what his name is, so I just wrote down what sound as similar and also made me laugh a little.

I’m a professional don’t you know.

So far I’m not all that impressed. He’s a big Indian guy with Boobs, let’s see what happens when he gets in the ring.

tna-simba2Much Better

Suicide was a cool character, good look, nice colours, awesome mask, great entrance music. Then he became Manik, most of that carried over.

Now he’s heel – super shinny blue Manik, whose new mask lets him talk… and he walks up to people like Simba and say “Sup, my Dude”.

tna-manik-sup

Does he look like a guy who says “Sup, My Dude?”

Well that Characters gone down the drain. What’s intimidating about that.

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Bram and Magnus vs. Devon and Tommy Dreamer – Hardcore Rules

You know what, I’m not even going to bother really spending much time on this match.

I’m not a fan.

One thing I did like, was the ending, only because it actually surprised me. In terms of how it came to a close.

Bram went through a Table, which happened quicker than I thought, also I was fairly sure he was the only one who wouldn’t end up going through a Table.

Then the best bit being Magnus thrown into the corner which had a Bin wedged into the Ropes, he Leap Frogged back only to get a Low-Blow then shoved face first into the bin. I didn’t expect it, was good.

Dreamer hit a DDT right after and took the Win.

I think Bram will probably continue from this, hopefully, after he defeating Abyss so many times, losing to the likes of Dreamer and Devon seems unlikely.

Even though they might be the legends, Abyss’ onslaught is far deadlier.

So I would take a guess that “Magnus” will be the weak link in Bram’s defeat.

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Spud had a little segment, I’m not sold on Spud’s face turn yet. I don’t think he’s reach much potential as a Face. What made him so great was being a heel. I always find the kind of character Spud was, is completely gone when he’s a face. Now he’s willing to fight, and Wrestling, and doing honourable things. It was funnier when he didn’t. Now he’s just like everyone else? Only less impressive?

Don’t get me wrong though, I do like Spud.

His Speech was good. So good that it brought out EC3 and Tyrus. Now, I’m fairly sure Spud won’t be the one to defeat EC3, but he might. I would hate that too.

Either way, Tyrus back when he was Brodus mentioned that the “Funkasaurus” gimmick wasn’t quite what he had in mind. I liked it, personally. But he didn’t want to do that. So here in TNA, I’m guessing he’s currently being more like who he wants to be…

tna-ec3-tyrusShould someone tell him that’s a Woman’s top?… He’s got the necklace and everything.

EC3 slapped JB, EY got involved. blah blah blah sums it up nicely.

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Gail Kim vs. Havok – Knockouts Championship

I seem to be picking on Commentary and the rules between Good Guys and Bad Guys too much, but it’s never bugged me to this level before.

Gail came out fighting, but Havok took control. They fought up the Ramp where Gail kicked Havok closer and closer to the edge of the Stage, she then ran attempted to Kick her off the stage, Havok grabbed Gail’s foot then threw Gail off the stage instead. To which Tenay says “she threw her off the stage …. what a monster!”

Despite the fact Gail tried her best to Kick Havok off the stage mere seconds prior… but that’s fine. Because she’s a “Good Guy” and Havok beats her up.

What?

Winds me up!

wind up complain

Everyone rushes to Gail’s aid, but yet she continues! Usual crap.

What wasn’t usual was Havok throwing Gail from her shoulders face first onto the Steps. That looked painful… and awesome.

I was expecting Gail to pull off an upset, which I would have hated. But Havok kept toying with her, to which I fully expected Gail to take advantage of. Same old, same old.

Thankfully Havok caught Gail finally and dropped her with a Chokeslam for the win.

Good match. While I don’t really buy into Gail’s “injury” stuff, so therefore I wasn’t exactly rooting for her, but it was a good match. I just wanted Havok to win. I found Gail wasn’t constantly selling the abuse she took, which did stand out a little to me. But who cares.

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MVP vs. Bobby Roode – World Heavyweight Championship

You know how I started this with “Roode looks good with the Belt”. Where it doesn’t look good with his horrible crappy plastic pimp coat.

It looked good with his Robe. Why ditch the Robe?

Robe or nothing. Wear a T-shirt to the ring, that looks good too.

I have no idea why he thinks this coat is a good thing, it looks horrible.

Lashley and MVP had a little chat backstage, obviously Lashley is supposed to be annoyed that he’s not got a Re-match and MVP positioned himself into a match instead.

I’d rather it look like that yet Lashley came out and beat up Roode with MVP and it was all a plan to wear him down.

But no, MVP and Roode had a decent match which Roode won with a Roode Bomb. A straight forward, clean match.

I also still hate the name “Roode Bomb”.

Lashley then turned up and Speared Roode and left without helping MVP up. So yeah, I’m guessing their days are up.

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Although not a bad show – it’s a run of a mill type of show.

Still no word yet on a new TV Deal for TNA, and I hope things do get a little more interesting soon.

Either way, Boot Camp is entertaining and Lucha Underground has my attention.

Till then.

Dan Wilkinson

TotalNonstopRewind

TheJobberBlogger

TheSteelChair

StrikeTapandGrapple

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)www.cageamateursuk.com

The Jobber Blogger #130 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 15/10/14

Jobber-Blogger

The Jobber Blogger

Are you proud of me? I would be, also I am be. And I am also me. It all makes sense like Lion King and the Circle of Life. Only it means reduction. Which wasn’t really mentioned all that much in the film itself, though I do remember a McDonalds toy that left little to the imagination.

lion king wrongI guess that’s more borderline bestiality than it is the Circle of Life.

Well what a way to start off issue #130 – no doubt shattering some dreams and hearts and eyes of the two people that appear to be reading this every week… or at least viewing the posts and liking them. Then not reading.

Does anyone read this?

Yes, I know you do Linda, hell I don’t re-read my ramblings anymore, look at that < spelling error.

I don’t know if there is one, I didn’t check, I just played it safe and assumed.

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It appears that I’ve lost my way already, that’s pretty good for a opening Paragraph / Segment isn’t it. Shows signs of things to come. I was going to say, Are you Proud of me?

It’s Friday, creeping up to 8pm and I’m writing the Jobber Blogger! Yes folks, I’m caught up and up to date!

Which is saying something given it’s crazy Writing week when the PPV’s hit, pretty much Watch Wrestling / Write Wrestling / Watch Wrestling / Write Wrestling / Watch Wrestling / Write Wrestling then I’m back on schedule.

So how was Impact after / before Bound for Glory? I’ll tell you how it was! Because that’s what I’ve chosen to do, whether you like it or not, whether you agree or not, whether you even read it or not, I will do it! This is The Jobber Blogger and I vow to do stuff!

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TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 15/10/14

I know how frustrating it may be on the days I don’t get my Jobber Blogger Blog posts Jobbering it up on a Sunday night to follow the UK Airing of Impact on Challenge. I feel your frustration, it keeps me up at night, and sometimes Linda sends me hate mail.

(You’re being featured a lot this week Linda 😉 be proud!)

Currently I’m trying to get Minecraft on my PS Vita and it’s all gone to hell! Not that I expected it to just “work” though in the back of my mind I thought “I bet this will just work, despite the fact I’m expecting it not to”.

Long story short, it doesn’t work, I own the PS3 Retail Version, supposed to recognise my save and allow Cross-Buy, BUT IT DOESN’T WORK! Now I can’t even throw money at the problem and buy it, the whole worlds gone to the poop when you can’t get things for Money! If I can’t get things for Money, why do I work! Tell me that!

angrymanwork

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You’ll be pleased to know that Impact was pretty awesome this week! I was impressed and entertained. I’d like to clarify that Bound for Glory was a really good show, I might have blurted out some more “negative” feedback of the show, it was a good show. Didn’t live up to the name of “Bound for Glory”, but that was probably more to do with the fact that it didn’t have over half of the TNA talent I want to watch on a TNA show on the PPV. No grudge matches, no decent talent, no Championship belts. It was a TNA – One Night Only – vs. Wrestle1 show.

Nothing wrong with that. Just nothing “Glorious” about it either.

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Kurt Angle kicked off Impact with a whole segment to build up the Main Event the advertised last week with an announcement from Kurt Angle and a Video Package and a Mention.

So awesome to start the show by telling us what you already told us. If Sean O’ Haire were still alive, he’d be Senton’ing in his grave.

Big ups Sean O’ Haire, I am a fan. Also “I’m not going to tell you what you already know”. It was his catch phrase with the re-branded Spider Web look and awesome Entrance Music. It took place before his firing.

So… there you have it.

seano

Kurt called out Lashley, which I still kind of forget he’s the Champ, Lashley has been a good Champ though, for the times I remembered it. The second Impact kicked off it felt like TNA again, and I like Lashley a lot in the Title Picture.

Kurt seemed rather miffed that Lashley declined Roode’s Challenge for another shot at the World Championship.

Shall I go into why this annoys me? I shall!

Kurt claimed that being the World Heavyweight Champion means he needs to defend the belt whenever and wherever. Never heard of that before, it’s not his duty.

More to the point Kurt was annoyed at MVP last week for the “mess” he made and how dare he book his own matches, he’s not in charge. Despite the fact Kurt didn’t stop any of it. Now he’s annoyed at Lashley for getting involved in the Match Kurt didn’t want to take place in the first place with a stipulation he didn’t agree with, agree to, nor want to happen.

Yup, I have no idea why he was annoyed, aside from the fact that the Script says as much.

Further to the point, surely Bobby Roode who earned a shot AND LOST does not deserve to get a re-match on the basis that “I was pretty good before I lost” I don’t remember that being a “I’ve earned this” way of life.

And the final point, Surely Roode asking for another shot should annoy Kurt just as much as MVP making a match did, because Roode would have done the exact same thing. Only he would have done it with the World Championship on the line, despite the fact he already had his opportunity and Lost!

End of. Kurt makes no sense.

I’m not really that bothered, but please, just pay attention to what you Write. This is like Star Trek getting their Delorean stuck in a Worm Hole where Johnny Five accidently clicked on Quantum Leap.

startreknonsense

It Just Don’t Make Sense!

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Madison Rayne vs. Havok – Knockouts Championship

Madison is drifting on down the Heel lake once more, but this time it’s a “why wouldn’t I have done that?” rather than just being a full blown Heel. She’s the Heel people don’t like because she did the smart thing rather than the Honourable thing.

But as she said, every Knockout for herself, why would she risk injury at the hands of Havok before her Championship match to save Taryn from taking a bump. Not worth it.

Also props to Madison, I like her new Entrance, with her head down then bringing the Camera Man to go behind her and follow her down the ramp. I like that. Very cinematic.

Now I had quite the rant about Velvet putting up a good fight against Havok at Bound for Glory, I suppose in reality, this match took place first, so Velvet could have been trying to top it. Which is fair enough.

Madison also put up quite the fight against Havok, though Havok seemed far more dominant against Madison than she did against Velvet. Which doesn’t make sense. Also for Velvet as a Heel, it makes less sense for her to be “full of heart” and the underdog. Which on the flip side, is a nice thing about Madison. She’s drifting toward being a Heel, but currently she’s still a face, so she went to battle by herself and put up a good fight, not backing down.

Though I did start to question the physical health of Earl Hebner, he’s not getting any younger…. I don’t think, I don’t know his medical history, or in fact his age.

But given he works on a general Human life scale, then he’s getting older. It seemed he dosed off during this match, or at least tried to squeeze in a sneaky Nap during a pin-count.

hebnersleep

He could have been selling a kick-out though I suppose, but I think chances are he nodded off.

I joke. I kid. I can’t write anything funny….. also I laughed a bit.

Havok lifted up Madison and dropped her with the Chokeslam for the Win.

Though actually, Havok’s Chokeslam is known as the “Harlot Slayer!”

Which sounds like a Spider-Man Villain who hunts prostitutes… I like it.

harlot slayer

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Magnus vs. Matt Hardy

This Makes Me Happy.

Yes, like most, some of, perhaps a couple of people, I was wondering on the future of Matt in TNA.

I know he’s not signed, this is more of a per-appearance deal, but now that the Tag-Title Series has wrapped, I wasn’t sure where he would go.

Then he popped up backstage in a promo where Magnus interrupted. Yup, it’s not really that relevant, “you’re not as good as your Brother” / “your jealous of your friend”, usual crap.

Again, as someone who is a life-long fan of the Hardyz, I can’t tell you how happy I am to see Matt in TNA, in a Singles Match, where he is “himself”.

I was looking forward to his first run, and we all know that didn’t turn out so well. So thank you TNA for giving him a chance to redeem himself. Matt’s a great talent, and is capable of a lot.

As someone who is a Fan of Magnus, but never really fully sold on Magnus, I am pleased to admit he seemed more like himself and also far better than I remember.

I literally had no idea what to expect when Magnus lifted Matt into the Power-bomb position, I thought Matt would probably do the usual punch to the face, land on his feet type of ordeal. Then I thought Magnus would just ram him back first into the Turnbuckle.

I did not expect Magnus to ram him into the Turnbuckle then actually Power-Bomb Matt onto the Ring Apron.

I don’t recall seeing that, and it looked nasty. – Nasty and cool.

The match came to an end when Matt caught Magnus’ mid dive from the Second Rope with a Twist of Fate.

The crowd seemed to have a mixed reaction to Matt’s move, I suppose it’s a fairly common thing to see now, specially that the traditional Cutter has come into play a lot recently by a lot of guys. Also I miss Matt taking his time with the Twist of Fate, seems to be more rushed, I liked the Taunt and Scream before the move.

Still, Matt’s in TNA and I love it! Hardyz vs. Bram and Magnus?

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DJZ, Jesse and Angelina Love (w/ Velvet Sky) vs. Knux, Crazy Steve and Rebel

I am very happy that DJZ has the current look he does, it’s a big improvement of where he used to be pre-Bromans.

However I miss the DJ deck and annoying horn. I loved that during matches! Do more of it! All the time!

That makes sense right?

Not sure on the partnership of the Bromans and The Beautiful People. Bro’s meet Rock chicks, doesn’t seem to match.

Don’t hate it though.

Above all else, this match is best for one reason, Crazy Steve. It seems TNA are impressed with his popularity because he’s being used more and more, not only that, but rather than the being the crazy guy who doesn’t fight a lot, even lost his matches because he’s out of control and the first person to be eliminated from other bouts.

He put on a great outing in this match and displayed how much of a Credible wrestler he is without breaking or losing any aspect of his Character.

Also he won the match. Good things seem to be in his future, I think he’s got a Gimmick that can last, and transform when required.

Zema kept patting Rebel’s “rear” till Knux took him out, Steve going in for the kiss on Angelina, when Jesse broke it up with a press slam. Steve landed on his feet, jumped to the Second Rope, hit a Tornado DDT for the win.

crazy steve

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Tyrus vs. Shark Boy

You know, I think I preferred the wrong thing out of this match.

I can say that I was not expecting “Tyrus” – Brodus Clay to be EC3’s new Bodyguard. Also, surely Rocktsar Spud was not “employed” to be EC3’s Bodyguard. Just saying.

Still a very good and pleasant surprise, no idea if he’s sticking around in TNA, or if he’s doing a Gene Snitsky.

I could also mention Big E, but “doing a Gene Snitsky” is far funnier as a saying. That should be used… Taz you listening?

Everyone Tweet that at Taz!

doing a gene snitskyt

Either way, whether he sticks around or not, they will eventually end up fighting, it just happens, even if I don’t want it to.

TNA – Breaking the mould.

EC3 had a big old Rant about being undefeated and how he’s defeated every TNA Hall of Famer. Devon stepped up then got attacked by Bram. Which is far more interesting than having EC3 fight Devon.

So in the end, EC3 revealed he had booked Tyrus a match against TNA Legend Shark Boy.

I’ve never been a huge Shark Boy fan, but the more I think about his gimmick, the more I like it. Now having him miss his entrance and run a video backstage where they find him out of shape on a sofa stuffing Doughnuts into his Mask, I love it!

Hence what I mean, I think I was more impressed and intrigued by Shark Boy’s decent into physics defying obesity than I was the debut of Tyrus.

…… Tyrus won.

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Eric Young vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode – Four Way Elimination #1 Number One Contender Match – World Heavyweight Championship

Now anyone who knows me and reads this, knows I love any kind of Elimination Match. I Love em!

So I was happy.

Here is something I wasn’t expecting, I really miss Jeff Hardy being in the Main Events. Now again, big Hardy fan, but I can see why he isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. I never disliked him as Champ, just you know, went a long with it. However now, after a good period of him not being in the Main Events as a main stay, I miss it.

I’ve always said Bobby Roode is the best World Heavyweight Champion of recent memory, least my favourite.

I don’t know if I’m ready for this Roode to be Champion. I enjoyed Heel Roode. I always enjoy Heel Wrestlers more, they tend to have longer Championship reigns. I feel a Heel can be a main stay, without really needing to do anything. You never “need” to turn them Face, only because your good guys are thinning out or to do something different. Heel’s tend to gain momentum on the card and with the fans. Faces decrease, and usually decrease quickly.

Currently should Roode be the Champ again, in my mind I see a good few Months run, till he ends up going against James Storm and his Revolution, where pay-back is a (you know what) and Storm gets the proper Title Run he deserves as the top heel on the show.

All four of these guys put on a great main event, timing was slightly off as EY and Hardy were setting up for simultaneous “Moonsault’s and Swanton’s” a good Album title incidentally.

moonsaultsandswantons

EY missed with the Moonsault, Jeff missed with the Swanton then both were dropped with the Roode Bomb and Brain Buster respectively then eliminated.

Roode and Aries tore it down as you’d expect, in the end Roode caught Aries from his Corner Drop-Kick and delivered a Roode Bomb to pick up the win.

All four of them then stood in the ring displaying mutual respect.

I still find it funny that Angle chose the Four Guys who Lost against Lashley, to then challenge him again.

You’d think someone else would have a shot, who perhaps hasn’t been defeated already. Not arguing. Just stating.

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Good show, looking forward to Next Week’s Impact, also the Wolves announced a 8-Team Tag-Tournament to find their next challenges. Seems like a long process, but looking forward to that too!

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

TotalNonstopRewind

TheJobberBlogger

TheSteelChair

StrikeTapandGrapple

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)www.cageamateursuk.com

THE JOBBER BLOGGER #127 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 1/10/14

Jobber-Blogger

The Jobber Blogger

So yeah, let’s talk about that Elephant in the Room huh? Yes, it’s late, I am fully aware. I do apologise for the lateness of this week’s issue, and last week’s, but hey, I’m a little later this week. I’ve not been this late since I worked Part-Time – yup, do the math on that.

math

I don’t do math.

I could go on and on about why I didn’t get the time to Write this up till Wednesday night, but that doesn’t matter. What does matter is TNA: Impact Wrestling, so let’s get to that shall we?

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TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 1/10/14

Holy Cheese Nips – Bound for Glory is this Sunday. How crazy is that? It felt like it was ages away, hell it feels like nothing – at – all has been done for this PPV on Television. Aside from James Storm / Sanada / Muta there is nothing more. And that Story has been a B-Story at best running “here and there” in the background, now it’s the main event on the biggest show of the year. Awesome.

Still, I’m looking forward to Bound for Glory – if for nothing more than being up to date with TNA, I can’t explain how much I hate pre-taped Wrestling Television.

It’s all about the here and now, and that was a Month ago. Okay sure, that was an exaggeration, but you get the drift.

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Austin Aries vs. Samoa Joe – X-Division Championship

Aries kicked off the show to talk about what Championship he was going to Challenge for. That’s right, an Entire episode of Impact was to determine this position. Aries just rambling on is enough to bring out Samoa Joe who (now get this) Challenges Austin Aries.

Yeah that happened.

Aries battles through this tournament to get this great opportunity – to then be challenged himself by a Champion rather than the other way round and lose.

This just makes it feel more like a House Show.

The idea of Joe vs. Aries is exciting, because Joe vs. Aries #1 back in 2012 was the second best match that year. However this meeting of Joe and Aries – though good, not nearly as good.

I suppose I am a little biased when it comes to Aries, but really, you don’t need to be, because he backs it up himself. Aries, as per usual was on fire, on point and brilliant.

I guess I would have enjoyed the match a little more should Aries have taken the win. But I can’t argue. Least they’re letting Aries beat everyone to get shots lately, they seem to be putting him in the right places.

Both Aries and Joe struggled to get this promo off the ground for the two of them to do battle, but in the end, it didn’t really matter.

Which would have been much better if Joe came out to blab for no reason and Aries just walked out and discus elbowed him in the face – Bam – Match – Challenge set and accepted. As it was Aries went for the Last Chancery and was instead caught by Joe’s rear naked choke for the Win.

Though I can’t argue with a great solid match to kick off the show. Though I will whine, a lot.

A lot.

whine

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Eric Young vs. Ethan Carter the Third

The main story here is EC3 and Spud. Last week it was built that there were “issues” between the two, and this week cemented it.

EC3 gave Spud a good heel speech of “in what world, would we be friend?” then ruined his jacket.

This is obviously to build Spud as a face. Here is the problem.

It’s been there done that territory again, I think it always will be with Wrestling. People really like Spud, and that’s because he’s great in the Role he’s in. Making him face changes that role, and people care less. It always happens. People love Heels, Spud isn’t trying to be a “heel” but making him a face would alter his response from the crowd.

However he was extremely good at getting the Sympathy vote. So it might work, least for a short amount of time. Like Joseph Park.

EY who was set to fight EC3 later in the match came out to stand up for Spud, and thus the match took place.

Spud (reluctantly) helped EC3 win.

EC3 works well as a Heel, Spud works well being a naive heel manager. I think he’s capable of doing a good run as a Face, I just don’t think it will be the same. Time will tell. But sooner rather than later, Spud will turn on EC3.

Though now I’ve said that, I will probably be wrong… I hope I am.

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Do you know what Annoyed me the most about this week’s Impact. It was the unnecessary “conflict” placed into the Tag-Team Series.

The Wolves with their “Wolves Nation” (which is a horribly bad name), decided to blab on about being a Good Tag-Team. That people didn’t think they were up to much. Let’s be fair, they did lose two matches straight.

Plus they’ve barely defended the Tag-Belts.

Still, it was a speech I didn’t need to hear. Of course this only got worse with Team 3D being un-characteristically negative. Sure Bully and Devon have probably played Heels more than Faces, especially Bully. But right now, their position in the Company is not to be big headed egotistical bad-guys all of a sudden. “You’ll never be as good as us, that’s just fact” – no offense to the Wolves, but they are probably right.

It was just un-needed. This was only to become worse with The Hardyz getting involved. Who not only blabbed on at Team 3D with yet another “history talk”, but they too downgraded the Wolves by stating how less they are in comparison. Another un-characteristic speech. Plus Jeff screamed about something I could have done without.

In the end they all end up brawling and this brings out the weapons which makes for the Full Metal Mayhem announcement.

I think everyone was fairly sure where this was going, they did re-create the old TLC announcement, only with “Tables, Ladders, Chairs…. Full Metal Mayhem!” which, whatever, I don’t care anymore.

Either way, this will take place next week, and I guarantee it’s the Match of the Year. Least I’m hoping it will be, I can’t wait for it.

I just think there must be a much cleverer way to get these guys to have disagreements and fight, without it being cheap, meaningless and let’s be honest, silly.

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Manik (w/James Storm) vs. Shark Boy

Good ol Filler Shark Boy is back this week. I do like Shark Boy, but he’ll always be the one you don’t take seriously. But I love the parody, I revel in it.

Manik looking like a sleek super-hero AJ Styles – and also much less menacing then he used to, squashed Shark Boy with ease.

I like the idea, I don’t get how rough and tough scruffy Cowboy – James Storm, beer bottle in hand and giant Beer, works with sleek looking shiny attired Luchardor styled Wrestlers. I don’t see that match, but I don’t hate it.

Come on Tigre-Uno.

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MVP (w/Kenny King) vs. Mr. Anderson (w/Chris Melendez)

Anderson who gave a pep talk to Melendez about sticking up for yourself, fighting these guys back, proving your ground. Then went into battle for him instead.

So not only is Melendez weak, incapable, but he needs people to do things for him too. I’m sorry, wasn’t this guy a tough, mean, driven War Hero who wouldn’t back down. Rather than someone who needs so much help and support.

It makes me like him less and less. I’d only like him more at this point if Anderson punched him in the face. Is that bad?

Kenny got involved on the Apron, Melendez pulled him down, Anderson distracted, MVP roll up – Win.

Meh.

Bobby Roode came out to do his yearly “I’ve been home and had time to re-think my career” speech. A Trend James Storm started which AJ Styles did, and Roode has done it twice if not Three Times now.

Roode decided he’s only as good as his last match and Challenges Lashley to one more match – because he knows he can beat him.

MVP answered for him by saying No. That’s pretty much it.

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Gail Kim vs. Havok – Knockouts Championship

Gail Kim and Havok had a fight earlier in the night, you knew something was up because Gail didn’t get the second entrance, she was attacked by Havok, who then threw her into the Ring Post and slammed onto the Floor “injuring her shoulder”.

Gail then did a terrible promo of being injured and demanding to Wrestle whilst Kurt Angle did an equally terrible job of acting alongside her. It was awful, like some weird low-budget porn.

Gail and Kurt

Gail still didn’t get the Champion entrance on the second time round, but I am extremely happy the Knockouts got to Main Event Impact.

I do like Havok, she is growing on me more and more, but I don’t yet see her as good as perhaps some others do.

Of course she pretty much destroys Gail and Chokeslams her for the Win and becomes the new Knockouts Champion.

So much for Taryn Terrell eh.

I have no issues with this.

blueline

A bit of a strange mash up of a Show, but certainly not a bad one.

TNA just doesn’t feel right currently. I’m expecting that to be different come next week’s Full Metal Mayhem, but how long will it last?

Bound for Glory I’m sure will be something special, I just hope TNA gets it all back on track for 2015.

Till then,

Dan Wilkinson

TotalNonstopRewind

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The Jobber Blogger #104 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 1/5/14

Jobber-Blogger-logo2

The Jobber Blogger

Isn’t life great when things feel like a Chore? Yup, it’s one of those weeks again. The Jobber Blogger flies in a day late, but currently I don’t know what to think about this old crazy thing we call “Wrestling”.

The WWE hasn’t been my thing for a long time, and I love TNA. I really do. In fact this week’s show had me rethinking that phrase over and over, “I love TNA!” But then you hear the horror stories, and the backstage rumours and politics, and people leaving, and you just think, what’s going on?

Christopher Daniels has left TNA, Kazarian is looking to leave, and most people think when his contract is up in a few weeks, or whatever it is, he will be gone too. Change is never a bad thing, TNA has filled the gaps with some great new talent, pushed some fantastic older talent, and it’s in a good place. I suppose people will look at this as “They’ve lost yet another TNA original”. But hey, this isn’t the first time Christopher Daniels has left TNA, and it’s not the first time Kazarian has either. Gail Kim left, Angelina Love left, Bobby Lashley left, hell even Jeff Hardy left. But they’ve all come back. Sometimes things just don’t “work”. Doesn’t mean anything is wrong on either side, other than those sides just aren’t running as parallel as they once were.

 

This is an exciting year for Wrestling and for Wrestling fans, Jeff Jarrett, the guy responsible for pouring everything into TNA, is bringing GFW to the world, hopefully by the end of the year. No doubt it’s a fair way off from being anything “spectacular”. But this is ground one, for those people who didn’t know of TNA from day one to jump on board. Competition is the life blood of any business, people are always going to draw comparisons, and it’s never about running anyone out of business, but if you’re not striving to be the best, then you’re doing it wrong. Clearly neither GFW or TNA have what it takes to battle the WWE, but the contrast, similarities and friendships surrounding TNA and the now growing “force” of GFW, it will be real interesting to see some familiar faces and cross over’s.

But hey, that’s distant future talk, this is the right here and now, and this week’s TNA: Impact… did it right. Impact Wrestling Logo

IMPACT WRESTLING – 1/5/14

Yup, we are in the Fifth month of the year, only a matter of weeks and we’re half way through the year, already. That’s crazy.

Impact kicked off with Eric Young fresh from retaining his Championship against Magnus at Sacrifice, looking for his next challenge. MVP keen on the idea pulled in Mr. Anderson, Gunner and Bobby Roode, as the three men who were victorious from Sacrifice. Here’s the thing I like, and yes this “spoils” it a little, but obviously storyline wise, it was Dixie Carter who screwed Bully Ray out of his Tables match, and so therefore MVP overlooked Bobby Roode’s victory. Yet allowed him to participate regardless. And they let Roode win. Roode defeated Gunner and went on to Challenge EY, that’s awesome. They in one move downplay his credibility, but then let Roode without cheating show how legit he is. I respect that. And that draws me into liking Roode (not that I’m not a big enough fan as it is).

To determine who battles EY, Anderson, Gunner and Roode each drew a Card, the two lowest numbers go to battle, and the highest number (Roode) faces the winner of the first match, with the winner of that match taking on Eric Young in the Main Event. A semi little tournament thrown together. And it’s great.

Sure Impact was a little “promo” heavy to kick off the night, and in all honesty I like it when Promo’s are unexpected.

Magnus made his way to the ring to moan about being left out of MVP’s little tournament. But Abyss stood in the crowd stalking his former “employer”. Yup, they still haven’t told us if Abyss is employed or not, which sucks. Mainly because he was never unemployed before. A good way to tell a story is to actually tell all of it, not just make stuff up that you never told and expect people to go along with it. Though I suppose we don’t have any choice but to go along with it.

Magnus and Abyss went at it, brawling, till Magnus escaped the fight. What was unexpected and most awesomely awesome was this guy I believe was called “Brad”. A scruffy British… scruff, and former good friend of Magnus who told him that he has lost who he is, and his suits are stupid. He even said Magnus is stupid and a shell of his former self, because now he has money and success, rather than going around pubs drinking looking like a homeless man. I think the word Brad was looking for, rather than “you’ve changed!” is “you’ve grown up”. Which I think is awesome about Magnus, and currently that puts him in a higher opinion for me, than he being some typical English drunken hoodlum. But new characters are always cool, especially with a violent “past”.

Going for the win for the most non-Wrestling segments on a Wrestling show this week did win, the third segment saw Bully Ray carrying a Table to the ring with “Dixie” spray painted across it. I do like however that Bully just brought it to the ring, pointed it out and pretty much said “By the end of the night, you’re going through that Table!”.

What I would have preferred is for this segment to just crash a Match, for no reason have Bully come out. That would work better for me, and break up the “chattiness”.
Anderson vs. Gunner

There really isn’t much to say about this. It was a rather short lived match. What did stand out to me though was Anderson. Anderson has been a little lost in the murky mid-cards since dethroning Bully Ray from The Aces and Eights. Whereas Gunner has been pushed to the Main Events, even battling for the World Championship.

Put them both together, despite that Anderson is the more experienced, Gunner still feels like he should be the betting man’s choice just given his recent Run. Yet having them both in the ring together, I found myself more on Anderson’s side. Which surprised me. I like Anderson a lot, I do think his best place was within The Aces and Eights, but he does seem to be in a better place recently, at least in his matches. He carried himself really well against Gunner, and that just makes me wish Anderson was perhaps given more room to be “Anderson” on a platform that meant something.

In a weird twist Ending, Storm got involved yes “again”… James Storm TNA business 2

Only Storm “missed” and ended up costing Anderson the match. He attempted his running kick to the back of the head in the Corner, but because Gunner reversed the momentum and threw Anderson in the Gunner, Storm ended up attacking Anderson, leading to the Hanger 18, and Gunner picking up the Victory.

Of course this pretty much just means Anderson is now going to feud with Storm and there is nothing else in it than that. But it’s a little lame that, that is the only way they can think of starting a rivalry. Though on the flip side, it’s far, far better than Angle’s “My son paints his face like Jeff”.

Seriously.
Ethan Carter the third vs. Spud – Exhibition Match

There is something superb about EC3 and Spud together, and Spud’s natural talent easily makes you like him the most, and more. EC3 is doing great work though, and he and Spud talking through the “don’t try this at home” speech was classic.

What was even better was Spud dressed as 2002 era Kurt Angle, shortly after having his head shaved. Angle Spud

Though to bring the mood down, Kurt Angle showed up, said he is finally going to face EC3 next week, and he’s going bring the pain.

What is a pain is Kurt Angle, he’s at the WWE return game again. When asked “if you were to go back to the WWE, who would you want to face” and his reply was “if?”.

That just pisses me off. And it pisses me off as a Fan, I’m sure there are a lot of people backstage in TNA who this just rubs the wrong way. Why pay a guy when he doesn’t want to be there. Get up, get packed, get out. Looking forward to when he’s gone if I’m honest, I like Kurt, I respect him, I respect his decision to go back, I understand it. Just don’t parade it everywhere, to me, it comes across incredibly insulting with regards to TNA, a company I care about. You don’t want to be there, fine, go away.
Gunner vs. Bobby Roode

Rather than having Gunner take on Roode straight after, and or Roode taking on EY straight after, there was a good bit of breathing room between every match.

Whilst on the topic of Gunner, I do want to say that they have done a great job with getting him over, and that he does a great job too. I still think there is more room to grow. It’s a little weird seeing someone as Scruffy as Gunner trying to get the crowd rallied and them behind him. He just doesn’t look like a “good guy”. He’s tough, built, battle tested, violent, scruffy looking. I honestly think if he tweaked his look to fit his Gimmick, he’d have something great. Go with the Army thing, I’d keep the colours, but change his attire. Make him a “warrior”. Gunner Warrior

His ring jacket is awesome, throw in some more unusual Wrestling attired but themed with the Army colours, add some Camouflage face-paint type of design, and you’re onto something pretty awesome.

Something I haven’t seen before was when Roode ran Gunner forward into the ropes, Gunner holds on, leans back causing Roode to fall and Roll backwards. Seen that plenty of times, but as Roode was rolling back onto his Knee’s Gunner had caught up with him and dropped him with a DDT. That was fantastic!

Though of course in the end Bobby Roode picked up the Win with his “Roode Bomb”. I do wish he chose a better name.

Dixie made her way to the ring after showing no concern to Bully Ray and his threats.

Dixie was surrounded by Security, three with her and a line to block the entrance way to the Ring. She was bragging about being the only woman in history to ever put Bully through a Table.

Long story short Bully came out, talked the Security round to getting out of his way, beat up on the Three guys in the ring and was face to face with Dixie.

After placing Dixie between his legs setting up for a Power-Bomb, MVP came out to stop the whole Segment.

I doubt they’d put Dixie through a table. I know they are wanting to build Bully as a big part of the show going into New York. No doubt having him against the Authority of Dixie is the plan. This is the problem with TNA, they recycle the same thing a few times without ever committing to an idea, and then it never see’s it’s true potential. Like they had an idea then changed their minds about who should be within it.

When Anderson first came back he was clashing with Dixie, and it was exciting, but never amounted to anything. AJ Styles, didn’t amount to anything. Most recently is of course Eric Young who was threatened to have a make-over, then didn’t amount to anything. And now it’s Dixie and Bully, which seems to at least have a direction. I think it’s the best choice so far, but who knows. Maybe Dixie will be going through a Table in New York?

Willow vs. Storm

This is one of those matches that feel “strangely placed”. Just having a Match on a card of this kind of clash, usually means something is in store to develop.

Especially considering they’ve been building Willow as a Character, but having him just come out to a Match, and come out first, feels a little strange.

I totally understand that Willow is a strange thing to get into, but I love it.

I think his theme is awesome, his look is awesome. And I love that Jeff is doing different moves under the mask. I know overall it’s pretty much the same onslaught. But it almost feels very old school Jeff Hardy with an unorthodox approach to high risk moves.

I hated Jeff’s adaption of the Twist-of-Fate which goes into a Stunner. I thought that sucked. I love the fall out Cutter, traditional move. However, currently as Willow, the Twist-of-Fate is done like the Stunner, only he holds onto the guy and stands back up himself. It’s weird, looks weird, and I like it.

Speaking of things I like, he did a Baseball slide and just slid out the ring in the same pose and dropped an Elbow drop on Storm who was on the floor! That was insane and awesome, and more of that!

The match escalated with the Steel Steps, and Storm reaching for his Beer Bottle, but Willow had his Umbrella…. yes that is a fair pairing.

Storm got pushy with the Ref, the match got thrown out and as Storm was leaving, guess what, Anderson got involved and Mic Check’d Storm to the floor.
DJ Z and The Bromans vs. The Wolves and Sanada

The Bromans had a good rant at MVP about how unfair Sacrifice was. And no, not for the last minute DQ rule, but for the 3 on 2 advantage they had, and it throwing off their offence and timing.

I actually didn’t write much down for this match, what I did Write was “FANTASTIC”.

This was a brilliant match, Wolves and Bromans have been tearing it up as it is, throw in Sanada and it was just fantastic.

People flying everywhere, great Tag-Team Wrestling, and how awesome are The Wolves?

This is the future of TNA, and it’s a future I am liking a lot!

Eddie Edwards dropped his Top-Rope foot-stomp on DJ Z to put him down, Sanada then landed his Moonsault and Davey Richards finished him off with the Final Foot-Stomp for the Win.

Watch This Match!

The Beautiful People – Beautiful Celebration.

Earlier on in the night Angelina had reportedly gotten a letter from the board of directors regarding her recent win as Knockouts Champion. Stating that now she is the champion she must show a more appropriate manor, for her actions reflect the Company.

Of course she and Velvet were not going to do that, and the main source of problems were of course their “attire”.

Angelina and Velvet turned up to this “celebration” in formal gowns, only to pretend to Strip off. By just removing their gloves, and then laughing about fooling everyone.

Yup, they wrote the letter themselves and used it to tease a striptease. I don’t see how any of this fits a Celebration.

Anyway, Gail Kim confronts Angelina, which is pretty awesome to have Gail turning face. She’s been Heel ever since she came back, and for her to represent the Knockouts Division makes sense, and so naturally she turns against those more “bad” than she is.

Gail goes on the attack, reaching for their Gowns to undress them, needless to say, they both escape.

But are then met by Brittany and Madison who Strip them both instead…. Yup, that happened.
Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young – World Heavyweight Championship

EY is awesome! I do fear he will be turned against, but he’s been a fan favourite for so long that I hope that isn’t the case. Having him front and centre and actively defending the belt is a good idea to keep him fresh and respected.

Not to mention that he with his awesomely wacky music amongst “EY” Chants, and standing tall on the Ropes holding the Belt over his head – it just works.

Earlier on in the night EY had a backstage interview where he said that Roode is the best guy to take Championship from him. Obviously the history between these two is great, and I’d actually really like that to be taken to a higher level.

Roode and EY feuding for a little while would be great.

Again going back to the fact that regardless of MVP playing dumb to Bobby Roode’s credibility, he himself backs it up, and so do those around him. I like that.

EY once again pulled out a Pile-Driver, which looked Horrible, though Roode obviously was fine. But still, it just unsettles me to watch.

EY kicked out of a Roode Bomb but in the end it was EY’s top-rope Elbow Drop which got him the victory.

A very good match between the both of them, but what was the best thing to happen, was EY extending his hand out to Roode, and picking him up.

Nothing more than that, but that was enough to make everyone feel good! Not sure what direction this is going in now, but I certainly like the mutual respect, and general respect being placed on Roode.

As much as this show was packed, next week looks to be a full card too!

EC3 vs. Kurt Angle

The Bromans vs. The Wolves – Tag-Team Championship – Ladder Match

and the Debut of The Menagerie

I am actually really looking forward to the Debut of Knux’s new stable of wild animals with a Circus, Carnival twist.

Till then,

Dan Wilkinson

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The Jobber Blogger #90 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 6/2/14

Jobber Blogger logo2Last week’s show from Glasgow got praise and negativity at the same time. This most likely because of a good crowd, a different look and I’m sure the debut of MVP played a part also. However looking back on it, nothing very exciting happened. Just your normal run of the mill matches and no great excitement on the Card front.

The same can be said for this week’s show, though the Ratings perked in the US in comparison to last week. Though this again will probably be spiked with the debut of MVP.

I can’t quite seem to find where I stand on all of these happenings. I believe CM Punk leaving the WWE is a work, it makes sense. If it’s not a work, then he comes across as a douche really, let’s be honest. Nor do I think his “Star Power” with the most deserving of quotation marks is really anything to go crazy over in the first place. Which of course leads to Sting. Things certainly look as if this time after many years, Sting is actually going to the WWE. Then there’s more information coming out from Jeff Jarrett and Toby Keith’s plan to buy TNA and instead just decided to make their own company… perhaps. I really don’t know what to believe anymore. And if these are a work… then they’re working.

I recently watched the AJ Styles – Shoot Interview “Leaving an Impact”. Though the trailers / previews certainly edited it in a way that seems rather more shocking, in actuality it’s very tame. AJ is nothing but supportive of TNA, and has the door open. Though you can make arguments for TNA offering him a lower contract, but they did eventually offer him what he asked for, and he rejected. But AJ said he wants to work the Indies again, and what other chance will he have to do so. I expect AJ will be back in TNA some point this year. I don’t buy this isn’t in some way planned.

But hey, that’s the beauty of Wrestling, and for years and years people knew what was going to happen, and for the best part, we still do. Thanks to the Dirt Sheets and certain predictability areas, but for these topics, we just don’t know. And that’s a good thing! Impact Wrestling LogoTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 6/2/14

I guess, part of me isn’t excited watching TNA anymore. I enjoy it, sure, but I’m not getting that feeling where you witness something that makes you excited! That makes you go on YouTube and find that certain Entrance theme for that certain Star and listen to it on Repeat and have the sudden urge to buy merchandise. Not had that since AJ had his Return Match at Slammiversary last year.

Abyss vs. Eric Young – Monsters Ball

I did state that nothing was quite as exciting, but I can’t tell you how refreshing it was to start Impact without Promo’s. Without Dixie. Instead it’s EY and Abyss attacking each other in the back and the Match picks up from there. A creative and needed change to the format. Despite the fact we all know that next week, it’s all about Dixie starting the show most likely.

I am still confused on this front, Abyss didn’t seem to turn up for a long time. Then he did twice randomly. Then only when Park saw his own blood for a small amount of time. Now he’s Abyss all the time for no reason and blood isn’t involved. I don’t get it. Do I need to get it?

To be honest, yes. If you’re going to put effort into developing something, least stick to it, or make it work. Tie up the loose ends, have it make sense. Give more development. The first Monsters Ball did nothing to get Park to realise he was Abyss.

It is awesome having Abyss on Impact though, he is one of those guys you associate with TNA, his look and character is phenomenal and sorely missed.

The match though was as you would expect, rather tame when compared to others, but with enough meaty high spots to make you enjoy it! Thumbtacks made their appearance, though EY flipped over the Monster from the Second Rope and Power-Bombed him to the Canvas. Abyss punched EY whilst he was perched on the top rope which sent him flying off Through a Table set up on the floor.

The ending came when Abyss removed Janice, a Cricket Bat variation, clearly not getting the original through Customs. EY then after numerous attempts Unmasked the Monster, which led him to violently Blackhole Slam EY and take the win.

Abyss then looked at himself in a small broken bit of a mirror. I actually like the ending, though not sure where it’s going to lead. Obviously I don’t want him to lose the mask, it makes his character. But will be interesting. EY did a post match Interview backstage and said his goal was to unmask him, but has no idea what happens next.

MVP made his way to the ring, which officially marks his true Debut with TNA. I do find it funny that people always moan about TNA bringing in stars from other companies, but yet everyone is behind MVP’s character as an investor, despite the fact he’s just yet another made star from a different promotion.

I knew of MVP, watched a fair number of his matches, but he was never someone I got behind. However, he did impress me on this show. His mic skills are very good, he has a great confidence and charismatic approach whilst confronting the audience and other stars. His confidence in turn sells the angle, so it’s all good.

The flimsy story is a little… flimsy? He had a lot of money saved up, saw what Dixie had done to TNA and therefore he invested his savings to get himself in TNA to change it. No one in his position would do that. Especially considering how outspoken he used to be about going to TNA. But alas, Dixie’s recent actions, must be met with Consequences, and MVP is all about bringing about that Change.

Part of me is now a little tired of seeing this “Power Struggle” as the main and only storyline to determine TNA in over four years. Hogan and Bischoff take over, Sting as the GM, Dixie out of control, Dixie back in Control, Hogan as GM, Aces and Eights threaten Power, Dixie goes crazy takes control, MVP is now in to change that. Can’t we just do something new. All it says to me is that they’ve tried something and it didn’t work, so they try something else by blaming the one in charge at the time. I think it is clever that they’ve placed all of the bad decisions on Dixie’s head and she’s carrying that weight as a Heel. So it would be great to see TNA rise up. But I doubt it’s going to do anything or amount to anything. I really hope it does. But how many times have we hoped now?

Spud made his way to the ring to tell MVP that Dixie would like a meeting with him, and MVP then made a match between Magnus and Kurt Angle.

Curry Man danced with Christopher Daniels styled ass to the Ring (it’s a legit thing)

danielsWhat did you think the Picture would be?

After he finished Dancing, Bully Ray wheeled the Coffin out, stood in the ring, booted Curry Man in the face, delivered an impressive but scary looking Pile-Driver and threw him in the Coffin then left.

So I don’t know if I was supposed to believe Curry Man is in a match, or if he was supposed to be fighting Bully Ray, but it looked as if Curry Man danced his way to the ring purposely to be placed in a Coffin.

Though I did realise that Bully Ray and Curry Man have similarly pronounced names. Bully Man or Curry Ray, could be a good Team idea.

In a string of “walk to the rings” Austin Aries was next up, who of course received a huge reaction (because he’s awesome and TNR’s / Jobber Blogger’s two time reigning Wrestler of the Year). Aries decided to take this time to talk about Option C and how he intends to do it once more this year!

That’s when the Bromans came out and Bro’d their way down the Ramp, and I was actually pleasantly surprised by the next part, as I couldn’t piece together why they had turned up.

Zema Ion attacked Aries from behind with his X-Division Briefcase, then hit Aries over the head with it, covered him, but only got a Two-Count.

Zema looked good though, and then went on to miss his impressive looking Corkscrew from the Top Rope and Aries then dropped him with a Knee Breaker, threw him backwards over his head, Corner Drop Kicked the hell out of him and then finished him off with the Brain Buster to retain his Championship.

Awesome!

I am glad TNA lifted the “Money in the Bank” Concept, it’s a good idea. And the Feast or Fired stipulation adds extra coolness to the concept.

Trying to Write this down really shows you how much “stuff” was in this show, and not enough Wrestling. Though something that pleased my rant from last week was in the show, where Christy Hemme had a talk with Sam Shaw about his weird Shrine Room (with the same pictures multiple times I might add). Christy saw the segment, and decided it’s creepy and only wants their “relationship” to be professional. Which is kind of ironic, given that a Camera Man was stood in his secret room.

I think it would have been better if Shaw went into the Room and the Camera Man tried to get a sneak peak, leading to Shaw beating him down violently. Or if the Camera Man sent like a lighting dude with his Smart Phone to sneak into the room, and then proceeded to get beaten down violently when Shaw caught him. But whatever.

The stupid part is that Christy must have seen his Violent Drawings, threatening the Waiter, Beating up that guy backstage (who was on this show and fine). You know, and that didn’t bother her about this weird guy she liked… but the shrine put her off.

Kurt Angle vs. Magnus

The first booking from MVP, and it’s designed to get Angle out of the ring. He’s supposed to be pretty banged up and not happy currently. Though to be fair, he wants to leave TNA, so screw him.

There wasn’t really a match here, they just did a few moves, Angle caught Magnus in the Ankle Lock then EC3 turned up and attacked him.

EC3 then went to town on Angle’s knee with a Chair, and submission locks, leaving Angle to be carried out on a Stretcher.

Though apparently Angle does a run in next week or something, so the whole idea was for nothing, as it’s supposed to get Kurt out of Wrestling to heal up. Given the length EC3 went to, to sell Kurt’s injury / absence, I would have to agree him showing up again seems a little stupid.

In what was probably the best and easily the funniest part of Impact this week. Chris Sabin had set up this backstage “date” room thing where apparently he and Velvet shared their first kiss some years ago.

Velvet eventually turned up, and a little unsure why the Camera crew were filming. Sabin told her about last week was a turning point for him, and how he sees what he did wrong, and now a Veil has been lifted.

He gets down on one knee and removes a Ring Box presenting it to Velvet, asking her “Will you?”. A teary eyed Velvet opened the box to find it empty, and Sabin continued “Will you just get the hell out of my life!?”

We all knew it was coming, but it was still rather hilarious.

Though Sabin challenged Velvet to a match next week, so… that will be weird.

Bobby Roode vs. Samoa Joe – Number One Contendership – World Heavyweight Title Shot

So this marks the Second match on the card, adding in a possible two others. One which was short and just to sell a run-in from EC3. The other short, but awesome spontaneous title defence.

Earlier in the night Bobby brought a Contract for he and Magnus at Lockdown for the World Championship to Dixie, but given Joe’s recent Number One Contender win, and MVP turning up, she couldn’t commit. Instead, she made this match between he and Joe.

It is a little annoying how winning anything now, actually doesn’t mean you earn what you won. Like Gunner with his Briefcase which he keeps having to defend. And Joe with his Number One Contender Win.

I am glad Joe is back on a Rampage, though I feel he’s not quite found his “Spark” back as he once had it. Roode on the other hand is pure awesome.

Least Impact had a great Main Event, though I made little notes on what happened during the match, I would encourage all to watch it. It’s not “put a star next to it Match of the Year contender” but it was still a great match.

Joe dropped Roode with the Muscle Buster and then got a Submission Victory with his Choke Hold keeping his position as the Number One Contender.

It does bother me though that Roode is looked at as a Looser now. Dixie even said “It’s not like you won your last match!” with regard to Roode being in the Main Event. And that annoys me because he lost to Kurt Angle in a Cage Match (with a close finish), after having a Winning streak in general, and especially over Kurt Angle for Months and Months. Stupid Heel Face rules and BS.

Impact closed the show with Dixie and MVP having a Summit in the middle of the Ring. Which would perhaps have been better if we didn’t get MVP talking earlier on in the night, followed by Dixie having numerous scenes backstage talking with Spud, to then Dixie and MVP talking backstage about coming out and talking about the future of TNA, in front of the World.

They could have just done it as a Headline to the show “Still to come!” etc.

And like anything TNA usually try and build up, it did nothing. The Future of TNA, which was Dixie blabbing on about Magnus and how people should follow her to Success. Then MVP saying “You are the Problem” and that they Agree to Disagree, he is bringing the Change, and her Running TNA as she wants to, “Is Over!”.

So it’s a good thing to move it forward… but it actually told us nothing… and did nothing. A little empty for a Finish I found, something to grab on to for next week would have been a much more exciting finish.

Still, not a bad show, I hope TNA are moving in a good direction, I really hope AJ, Hardy, Sting, Jarrett actually all play a part in MVP’s Change, but who knows?

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

http://www.thesteelchair.com

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The Jobber Blogger #89 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 30/1/14

Jobber-Blogger-logo2

The Jobber Blogger

Welcome to the Jobber Blogger #89! The second proper instalment over on TheSteelChair.com and like always I ramble on endlessly about nothing!

Though perhaps nothing isn’t quite at hand here, as TNA embark on yet another (I’m sure to be awesome sell out) UK Tour, the question at hand is this: does it really matter?

I think the short answer is no. Nothing TNA does matters, Wrestling History is going to go on with them or without them, and unfortunately the WWE is always going to the power that controls the History of the Industry. Lots of rumours floating around that Sting is about to Sign a WWE Legends deal, everything from him just being involved with a WCW DVD to the Launch of the WWE Network and their WCW Content. To him being RAW’s General Manager and all kinds of stuff. Now this seems to be the most “official” word yet of Sting and WWE actually coming to terms, I would even go so far as to say that Hogan’s recent TNA departure and WWE involvement would partially be life line between Sting and the WWE also. I guess what I’m getting at, is if Sting goes to the WWE, he will be looked upon for all of his work outside of the WWE… in WCW. The WWE don’t care how many times he’s been TNA Champion, how many years he’s worked for that promotion, they won’t even blink an eye that he’s in the “Hall of Fame”. It just didn’t happen.

That’s the thing that bugs me the most, see I love TNA, that’s well documented, but if Bobby Roode went to the WWE, sure some people would know of his work, but it would never be mentioned. When Booker T went to WWE via the buyout of WCW – he was credited with his Five Time World Heavyweight Championship reign. All of the WCW guys carried their legacy, hell even ECW carried their legacy, and that was a terrible promotion.

But TNA, who had all the right faces, and all the right ingredients, they just don’t affect the WWE, Ric Flair returns with no mention of TNA (aside from his now infamous WWE 2K14 Panel with Foley) when Hogan returns, there will be no mention, when Kurt Angle inevitably returns, he will have just “Been gone” for several years. No one cares.

They’ve even said if AJ Styles were to wind up in the WWE he would be a mid-carder at best despite he carries a huge weight of Wrestling Greatness through-out the industry, to the point where Kurt Angle left the WWE purely to Wrestle Styles. It’s like everything TNA is doing, should they one day go out of business, it was all for nothing.

If they could gather the ratings and pull in higher numbers, WWE would have to pay attention. And one could think that this is the current trend in Wrestling today. Like any Wrestling fan I’m reading and trying to find out what’s going on with the Royal Rumble / Daniel Bryan / Batista and now of course CM Punk. Clearly the Daniel Bryan thing is a work, and it’s clearly working! Batista is just “one of those guys” from an era that wasn’t even that popular. I think he feels he’s a type of Stone Cold / The Rock, but nope, WWE sucked then and it sucks now. I never got on the Batista train, doesn’t appeal to me. And now the Wrestling Audience is smarter than ever, they know guys like Bryan and Punk work hard for their slot on the show, and then they lose it to some muscle bound Hollywood type who can’t Wrestle half as well purely because his name might carry some “cache”. Least he isn’t as insulting as The Rock’s “triumphant return” for those who grew up watching him to suddenly realise that he actually is terrible as a Wrestler.

Now in the same vein, I don’t look as CM Punk as anything special. I like Punk, but let’s not beat it round the bush, Punk got lucky as he was given the opportunity to “mouth off” and that’s what made his Career. Since then, he’s done very little till now. And only now is important because people don’t know if it’s legit or not, I would say it is a Work, but who knows? Even if it’s not he will go back to the WWE, no chance he’ll turn up in TNA, I’d love it if he did come to TNA, I think his look and style suits their product more so. But what would that mean to the Industry? Guess what, nothing. I bet over half of the WWE’s audience don’t even know TNA exists. And those who do, would probably tune in to see Punk, then tune right back out again. Their viewership would increase, but I don’t think it’s a wise investment. Punk would go back to the WWE, he wouldn’t be loyal to TNA, I don’t even think he likes TNA. His first stint there wasn’t very good, so I don’t think he’d be in a rush to go out. People who question if TNA could “afford” him is ridiculous, TNA are stupid with Money and they paid Hogan more than WWE offered him, and he still left. That says it all really.

TNA always struggle to capitalise on what they have, and granted they are smart enough to listen to their fans, but everything they do just ends up being subpar. I hope they do something great, but I just don’t think they will. If these rumours about Sting are true, then I would say that AJ Styles and Jeff Jarrett have officially left the company, and then if that is true, then TNA are in serious trouble.

Anyway, without this turning into a huge rant about why I like TNA, what TNA does wrong and why I don’t like the WWE, let’s just get down to the business at hand!

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 30/1/14

Yes, for the first time ever TNA Impact airs in the UK before the US. And it came straight from Glasgow Scotland, though they did label it as “LIVE!” it wasn’t. But that doesn’t really matter.

What matters is simple, TNA should just get a home over here and film it in the UK because it looks like a force to be reckoned with when they Tape over here, they pack out of the Arena’s (even on the Camera’s side) and they have crazy crowds. Of course I’m not being entirely serious.

Not to mention they did have some Audio problems through-out the broadcast, but least they didn’t Tape it and then Dub the Commentary on top of it, and I hope they don’t do that for the rest of the Taped shows, because it ruined it for me last year.

Magnus kicked off the show and was met with a sea of “Boo’s!” which I was a little surprised by. Though as he did point out, it is Scotland. I would imagine he would be cheered when they get to the UK Shows.

What made me laugh in a type of “ironic” way, is that Magnus and Dixie Carter represent what the Internet have always said TNA should do. As he put it “thinning of the heard / putting the old stars out to pasture to make room for the new”. And yet this was met in a negative light. Though for years everyone’s said that TNA’s downfall is all of these old guys that they bring in for hopes of a Ratings boost, and now look. Hogan and Bischoff have gone, Sting has gone, Nash has gone, Steiner’s gone, Bookers gone, Foley’s gone. Who is left? Angle is going to leave, and I can’t wait to slam the door behind him. You could make a case for Bully and Hardy, but Bully has had his best years in Wrestling in TNA, he isn’t the same guy he used to be, and thank him for being Loyal to them. Same can be said for Hardy, he’s had the best two years of his Career in TNA and he’s in a much better place in his life than he’s ever been before.

So the people get what they want, but they aren’t happy.

Such is life – C’est la vie, Monge tu and Duck a l’orange

EC3 stepped up to get in the face of Magnus when he claimed to “single handily” rid TNA of Styles, Hardy and Sting. The first of a few confrontations between the two. Angle and Joe however crashed the segment and despite Dixie Carter not giving her blessing – it all boiled down to a match – Magnus and EC3 (who Magnus handpicked I might add) vs. Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe – Contracts vs. Number One Contender Shot

I think Spud said it all really

Spud swears

 Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa vs. Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne

Even writing that I wrote Gail Kim and Madison Rayne, subconsciously I combined those two together more so than Velvet and Rayne. Not having the Beautiful People in TNA is a sacrilege. Of course having them in TNA without Angelina Love is a far worse crime. Also nice job on the Video Edits of Velvet and Rayne together (without Angelina).

Madison Rayne suits spoiled little jealous Blonde Girl so much more than she does her current role, just as The Beautiful People suit Heels far better than a Face faction.

Though how could anyone be angry at someone who had a hand in accidently hitting Earl Hebner in the face. Velvet hit her (bad) Bulldog on Gail for a two-count but when Gail kicked out she raised her hand and hit Earl in the fact,… that’s a lol moment.

Gail hits Earl

Madison hit a spear on Gail out of no-where, Velvet finished Gail off with “In Yo Face!” and took the win. Before I go on about how short this match was, I just had a brilliant thought. I Hope and Pray that X-Pac – Sean Waltman wrestlers somewhere in the indies, and does his X-Factor, for someone in the crowd to tell him off for stealing Velvet’s move! If there is a God in Heaven! Please! Let this happen and be on Video! Some child telling him off for stealing a Woman’s move would just be hilarious and the icing on the cake for his so-so career.So yeah, once again the team of the best Female Wrestle in the world, and her huge gigantic powerful scary body guard, were defeated by Wrestlers who can’t Wrestle and let’s face it, Velvet can’t even run the ropes right after all these years. I love them all dearly, but at times it’s just a little too “fake” to be believed.

velvel

Chris Sabin heads to the ring afterward to do the great “Bad Guy” move… but also had me laughing like crazy of “Say you’re sorry now, and we’ll go in the back and you can give me a massage”. Just like the short lived run of Joey Ryan who had the best line when he chose to introduce Matt Morgan rather than Hemme when he told her to go make him a sandwich. Needless to say, Velvet told him that they are over and left.

James Storm and Gunner vs. Bad Influence – Gunners World Title Briefcase on the line

James Storm had the worst segment on the show, though it was made slightly better by some guy in the front row making Animal Noises. He could have been cheering but I haven’t heard anything like that before. Storm called out Gunner to “put an end to this”.

And then we were subjected to this horrible segment where they made Bro-Love with doing things for their families and blah blah blah, and when Gunner was in the Marines, and blah blah blah, and then Scotland fans started chanting USA. And what the hell was happening?

I’m sick and tired of the whole “I did this for my Family!” speech, can’t you just do it for yourself. Am I supposed to think that you’re struggling to pay your pills and put food on your plate. I manage it by working 12 hours a week in a Cinema, I’m fairly sure you’re getting paid a hell of a lot more than me. If you can’t make that work then perhaps you should consider changing your life style. And not buy the most expensive Cheese and 1837 Bottle of Wine for your evening of “fine dining”.

What happened to them just chasing a Career in Wrestling, you want to be a Wrestler, you want to be the best guy, awesome, go out there, win the World Championship and do it for your own damn Career and legacy. I don’t want to watch sad back stories in my Wrestling show about how you can’t buy your children 3 games consoles and then afford to send them to the best School in the country and buy them a Porsche for their Graduation present.

I feel this is going to be a good Ranting episode, just wait till I get to Kurt Angle!

Thankfully Bad Influence got involved and so I bring back the long forgotten but most fabled element of my Blog:

kaz word 7 new

I’m now hoping Storm renames his character – The Monkey Fart James Storm and together with Gunner their Tag-Team name can be – Beard with no Brains. I’m game.So this of course ended in a match – with Gunner once again putting his Briefcase on the line. Funny because when he first decided to do it, Dixie had a issue with it, but then agreed as a way to make him pay for interrupting her. Since then Gunner has been defending it left right and centre.

The idea is that Bad Influence told Gunner he can’t trust James Storm, and much to everyone’s dismay, Storm didn’t do anything untrustworthy.

Gunner was impressive as always and worked with Storm to win – with a top rope Head-butt none the less. Then Storm and Gunner celebrated their victory and left for some more Bro-Loving…. beard style.

Earlier on in the night Kurt and Joe singled out Bobby Roode and threatened him so he wouldn’t get involved in their match with their contracts on the line. This led to Roode giving Dixie Carter an ultimatum. Roode only helped get rid of AJ and Sting for a Title Shot, and Roode demanded it be at Lockdown, and until that is agreed, he won’t be doing anything to help Dixie or Magnus further. Makes sense.

Spud was sent on an errand to find out who this “Investor” is, and do that he called out the Wolves.

Again, Spud stole the show, he got in their faces screaming and claimed to have seen a good bit of American television and tried to interrogate them with his torch. Till he just slapped Davey Richards I believe, and then was dropped by the Wolves and a double team move.

The Wolves had pretty good music, and I do look forward to them being used in the ring (which is coming up soon I believe).

 

 

Abyss and Eric Young vs. The Bromans (w/DJ Zema Ion) – World Tag-Team Championships

I am confused now.

I think there is a piece of this story missing. Park was still Park, even in Monsters Ball, and after Monsters Ball, then last week he showed up as Abyss… there was no “connection”. So is he now just Abyss and Park is no more. Or are we going to find out they are two different people. And why the hell did they stop trying to make sense of it all with Bully Ray.

I also don’t get why they got a Tag-Team Title Match. And I still think EY should go for a Mad Scientist look.

The match looked as if EY was in control of Abyss, till then Abyss just had enough and cleaned house including taking out some British Referee who had his 15 Mins of fame I’m sure.

Abyss then Choke Slammed EY and went crazy. Leading to next week’s Abyss vs. EY – Monsters Ball match, which is supposed to be the final part in EY’s plan.

I don’t really know what I want to happen anymore, probably just get Abyss back, though one would question why someone would chose to do that. And they’ve opened up a lot of good “horror movie” type stories, but then just walked away from them. So as always, they probably won’t capitalise on their potential.

Christy Hemme and Samuel Shaw had another segment, where they were at his house. I’m sure that wasn’t his house, because it looked terrible. Maybe they do get paid really badly and so I should apologise to Gunner. Either way, speaking of things being stupid, Shaw had his hand in the Candle which he didn’t realise. That’s a character trait. And it’s going to come in handy when he fights… flame man?

Still, Shaw then went to his room with a piece of Christy’s hair and put it on this Mannequin Doll he has of her in his Shrine Room.

Do you think somebody ought to tell him she posed for Playboy?

I like segments like these, but it’s where Wrestling crosses over into Television and it doesn’t work. It’s supposed to be as if the Camera men are following these two on their time off. That’s fine, but then why would a Camera man be in his secret closet. It makes no sense. Clearly Christy is capable of watching the show and therefore would have seen all of this anyway. It’s not TV, it’s Reality Entertainment. It’s a strange mix, that just makes you not buy into things, and then it makes even less sense. Like having a Motorcycle Gang without Bikes whose slogan is about Walking… WHAT!!?

 

 

 

 

Bully Ray makes his way to the ring pushing out a Coffin, then went on to talk about all the things he “used to be” and that Anderson took them all from him. The coffin symbolises the burial of The Aces and Eights and everything Bully stood for, so it is fitting that this culminates in a Casket Match. Or “Coffin Match”. Not to be mistaken for the “Coughing Match” which is entirely different.

Anderson and Bully got into another fight, but I am glad to see this type of Match. Sure it’s a silly gimmick match, and part of me wonders if Bully could actually fit in the Coffin he had with him, smart game plan really.

I do wonder where they both go from here, but I look forward to watch it unfold.

Magnus and Ethan Carter the third vs. Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe – Contracts vs. Number One Contendership

Basically, if Angle or Joe lost, they leave TNA. And if Angle or Joe pin either Magnus or EC3 they get a World Championship shot.

The investor added the stipulation that if anyone interferes in the match they will be fired. I still need to buy those shares, buying shares sounds great. I could buy a share in TNA and start demanding things.

Earlier in the night Magnus spoke to EC3 about how he doesn’t like him, and that he has to Team with EC3 and should he lose he must defend his title. Which is sort of silly, as Magnus agreed to the stipulation and also chose EC3 to be his partner.

That aside, I actually love that Magnus is a fighting champion. Sure he has a lot of help, but he’s not running from fights, he’s demanding them. He also isn’t afraid to show that he’s happy to be the face of TNA, but that doesn’t mean he likes who he’s aligned with, but he will do whatever he has to, to further his Career… I respect that. Screw this for my family crap.

The good news is that Samoa Joe made Magnus tap-out. That’s good because I always wish Joe was more old school. He was intimidating to watch when he first showed up in TNA, it was shortly after I finished up with my “Wrestling Training” attempt and I remember thinking “screw getting in the ring with this guy”. Joe was a force, and I felt sorry for his opponents. It wasn’t till I saw him in a Q&A I attended a year later where he seemed like a great guy outside of the ring. The last few years or so, Joe has been a shell of his former self, so I’m glad to see him be the one to get the Title Shot, though I do think Joe will be fired shortly after ala AJ Styles. But if Joe came back full force, undefeated, quick matches, impactful moves and unstoppable, I’m on board for that journey.

The highlight would be Dixie leading Spud to the ring holding hands and Spud keeled over from his attack earlier on in the night. What is more interesting is that Joe stated he and Angle will be staying in TNA for a long, long, time.

Now Angle has always said he would go back to the WWE, but of late he’s been saying “I can’t lie to myself any longer, I want to go back”. Well good riddance. I like Kurt, but if he doesn’t want to stay with TNA, to help build TNA, then leave. His pay check can go toward getting new talent or better invested in something to build the product.

What is more ridiculous is that Kurt now wants to be in the TNA Hall of Fame, asking Dixie to roll out her Chequebook and induct him, and invite the new investor.

So let’s get this straight, Kurt Angle, who has had a great run in TNA, gets arrested for DUI… again, and leaves for rehab. Upon returning he has beef with Bobby Roode who says Angle isn’t Hall of Fame material…. then Angle rejects the Hall of Fame.. proving Roode to be right… but still has a problem with Roode… despite he was right, and Angle showed it.

Angle then says he needs to cement his position within TNA once more, and win the World Championship once more, which to me, says “hey, I screwed up, I made a mistake, I went to rehab, but I’m back to be the best!”. So Angle injures himself and loses countless matches, then barely wins a Cage match against Roode by “falling” and then Joe wins the Tag-Match and gets a World Title Match.. and it’s then that Angle feels he has proven himself to be Hall of Fame Worthy?

Are you kidding me.

Angle hall of fame standards

That was Kurt’s Road to Glory and Journey to the Immortals. He’s happy with a losing streak, a close victory and a win by his Partner. That’s enough for him to want to be in the Hall of Fame? I still don’t get how he beating Roode by falling faster than Roode crawled is “winning the war” after Roode beat him three times in singles competition alone. I would revoke the Offer and tell him to get lost. Speaking of Revoking the offer, Dixie had a fit and shouted for this Investor to turn up. And he did, being MVP. Surprising everyone.  Well least he tried, but everyone was expecting it. And much to my dismay, I actually rather enjoyed it, and I look forward to seeing what happens next week.

Least TNA have learnt from that horrible “August 1 Warning” flop in their face.

So a good show, even if I had a good rant!

I’m sure Storm will turn on Gunner, and I hope to see MVP and the Wolves next week and look forward to more twists and turns in the road.

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

www.thesteelchair.com

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

 

www.striketapandgrapple.com

www.cageamateursuk.com

The Jobber Blogger #88 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – GENESIS: PART TWO – 23/1/14

Jobber Blogger logo2

The Jobber Blogger comes Whizzing in at 88mph like Marty McFly… only without purpose and motive. To think I’ve managed to whittle on for 88 issues just boggles my mind like those fish with the big eyes. Or boglins.

Boglins

Why don’t we have crazy weird toys anymore, aside from my Marvel Mega Bloks collection (damn you Disney!) I feel strangely non-motivated to collect other types of useless tat. I like useless tat, and believe it or not I will spend good money on it. It’s like anyone whom reads this, spending useless amounts of their time reading my useless tat of a Wrestling Based article!

What isn’t useless tat though is this week’s Impact – the aptly named “Genesis – Part 2” where God thought to himself, Damn, better try harder next time, something about the world being created, a big bang or Mosses. Or combine them all to have Mosses taking the role of Adam and Eve and sailing by himself performing unsanitary acts to himself on a boat before he drowns horribly.

Yup… nothing sets up the following report like a controversial religious slur….. Wrestling!

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – Genesis: Part Two – 23/1/14

Moving swiftly on from last week’s epiphany of eating Sultanas to Write my blog, I tried the same this week only to bite myself, so I suggest everyone reframe from doing so. They should be labelled with a health warning. Once I’m done talking about Wrestling I will be off to Write a Stern Letter to Tesco!

Impact kicked off with Dixie, Spud, Magnus and Dixie’s Lawyer – Creed. Whom fits two roles from The Office U.S, obviously having the name “Creed” and looking surprisingly similar to James Spader.

Creed Spader

This “new investor” Storyline has been kicked up quite a notch, after only being mentioned last week, to having him buying a great deal of shares to be able to sway the company. The nice little nod was to his intentions being “Wrestling Operations”. Which to me is a clear sign that TNA want to move the company back to the Wrestling greatness they once had. But this Investor is already calling the shots and setting up a “Hostile Takeover” – correct me if I’m wrong, but I didn’t think you could buy shares of a Company and then actually control it. I might invest my pennies wisely this month… probably in Tesco and add that Health Warning on the damn sultanas!

Of course I’m still eating them! What else would you have me do?

Magnus, Spud and EC3 made their way to the ring where I can quite honestly say Magnus impressed me on the mic. He’s never been a great talker, but this whole Heel Champion run even if it’s early days, is something he seems to be running with really well. Magnus’ main gripe was about Sting being a “man” and putting his career on the line for one more shot at the World Championship, but with this Investor in place, he managed to gain Sting an advantage by having someone in his corner.

Sting obviously confronts Magnus, a whole load of “I’m a Man” crap and Sell-out rubbish is thrown around, the biggest aspect is that the Crowd have adopted the “Paper Champion” name for Magnus, interesting to see how his home crowd reacts this week, I would cheer…. Personally speaking.

Everything breaks down in a fight, it is Wrestling after all, and we find out Samoa Joe is going to be in Sting’s corner in his Championship match.

Gunner vs. James Storm – #1 Contender Brief Case

It seems the way to win this match is to just get the case and hug it. Taz made reference to it being like “American Football” which if I dig out my old rant Banner – Hugging the case fits perfectly with that idea.

HugBall

I actually expected the crowd to be more into this than they were, quite early on Gunner hit a Top Rope Fall-Away Slam on Storm which didn’t seem to draw much reaction. Storm got more of a response from pulling off a Top Rope Hurricanrana, which took me by surprise, like everyone else.

The ending came with Storm grabbing the Brief Case but Gunner got Storm in an Electric Chair so Gunner elevating Storm to his Shoulders sort of acted like an easier way for Storm to get the case, but then Gunner dropped him backwards with Storm dropping the case. They both did a little crawl on each other type of thing before Gunner just head butted the Cowboy and hugged the Case like his favourite Winnie the Pooh Bear.

Gunner hug pooh

I don’t think I was on my own thinking that this would be the match where Storm turns Heel. But alas, it’s not yet to be. I am somewhat glad Gunner kept the Case, I still think he could do with a little extra before he’s truly “ready” as a Character. I noticed he had a bit of an intro to his music now, though his music still sucks. I like his attire and ring jacket, I just think some crazy camouflage “War-Paint” would be rather cool, let him be scary and intense. Hell, try and get him over like a Soldier type of Ultimate Warrior.

Austin Aries vs. Chris Sabin – X-Division Championship – Velvet in a Cage

While I still don’t get what putting Velvet in a cage proves, surely she could have shown her independence and thus Sabin show his, and her not get involved by I don’t know… not going to the ring with him. But whatever, gimmicks be gimmicks.

What was nice and also terrible at the same time was Velvet’s “Impact 365” where she received a Present from Sabin. What stood out to me was her looking normal, she looks far better without the overdone make-up and trampy clothes. But hey, it’s her career. She decided to do an “Un-boxing” of her present for all of her fans. And within this box was a Teddy Bear (Which we never saw), a Gift Bag (which we never saw) and a Lead Pipe. Did it bug anyone else knowing that all of these items surely couldn’t fit into this one box. That aside, Velvet didn’t seem to know what to do with the Pipe, no that’s not a euphemism.

Velvet brought this big “not cute looking” gift-bag into the Cage with her. Now given the stipulation of this match, and should I be any type of competent official, I might have wanted to know what was in this giant blue bag, given that they check knee pads an all.

The match was good though, and for anyone whom would even Argue that Austin Aries isn’t the best Wrestler going today, then this Match was packed full with proof that he is.

I am actually rather glad that Velvet being locked in a Cage didn’t play more on the match than it did, for Sabin and Aries are capable of putting on a great match, and last year we saw them both steal the show many times. Though it did have a hindrance on the ending, as Sabin went to get the Bag from Velvet, he found within it a Teddy Bear. I might have even been Gunners?

Aries Bear FLy

Still, Aries proceeded to push the bear helplessly down the front of his trunks, an act I found far more offensive than the Christy Hemme stunt. One corner drop-kick and Brain Buster later, Aries won back the X-Division Gold.

I guess at the end of the day, Aries didn’t win cleanly either with Sabin himself being distracted by Velvet… so I’m sure we’ve not seen the last of this. And maybe next time she will just stay out of the match for everyone’s benefit.

The Wolves had their first Promo this week in the shape of a Video Promo. I can’t tell you how excited I am to see these guys in action. I’ve heard good things and having a Tag-Team debut in TNA has been long over-due. I said it in my “Best of TNA” Article that I want a great Tag-Team Division built this year, and in January we have one of the most talked about teams from the Indie Scene come to TNA.

They are heavily linked with this “Investor” Storyline last week saying that they aren’t here for a TNA Try-out match like Dixie thought, but they have been signed by this outside investor. Again, I didn’t know you could do that through Shares? Still, this mystery investor is said to be revealed this week in Glasgow Scotland. The current rumours are its MVP – I hope not, because he sucks. His own self encouraged chant was “Boring”. It could have been Ball-in… but as there was no Ball I decided to go with what just made more sense, and how I was currently feeling.

Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle – Steel Cage Match

Still seems a little silly Kurt needs to be Roode to get into the TNA Hall of Fame. But hey, that’s the stipulation, given that this is going to be seen as Angle’s great victory, it sort of over shadows the last how many times Roode won?

However that isn’t the worst part, Roode seemed to be in a self-mocking mood also as he wore this horrible 90’s (I can’t afford a trench coat) monstrosity to the ring.

Roode new Coat

I get that it’s Wrestling attire, but it looks so awful if it’s not attire or in the least bit stylish. He just looks like he’s come straight to the ring from a quick visit with the nearest Gimp.

Which quite nicely fits with another bad idea I had forgotten about. Kurt Angle has a tattoo! I had totally forgotten about that, though Ten Years ago it looked bad, now it looks like a Dirty Smudge on his Shoulder, like he’s been Wrestling Hardy and his face paint rubbed off.

Angle Tattoo

With all my joking aside, this match was a joy to watch. These days when you get a Cage Match they are usually a disappointment. Over the years they’ve been built up with these huge high spots and obviously not every match is going to have them. Though Hardy and Magnus in Dixie Land was also very good.  But Roode and Angle not only had a match I felt worthy of putting a Scribble next to, to remind myself in almost a year’s time when I write this year’s Best of TNA. But they put on one of the best Cage Matches over the last few years. Which is also great but this match now cements Genesis as having one of those “Must See Matches” like last year’s Triple Threat Main Event.

Angle climbed to the top of Cage after being egged on by the fans and performed his infamous Moonsault. Sure Roode moved out of the way and Angle had a nice bounce upon his landing. To be fair over the years when Angle has done that move before,  and his opponent didn’t move, he barely landed on them anyway. Roode was crawling out of the ring when Angle pulled him back in at the last second.

Roode hit his “Roode Bomb” which still irritates me as a name, for Kurt to kick out. What was more surprising was the awesome Angle Slam from the Top Rope which Roode kicked out off to yet another “flat reaction” from the crowd.

In the end Angle made his way up to the top of the Cage and when Roode realized he crawled his way out of the door, this ended up in a race to the Bottom which Angle won by falling the remaining distance.

If you didn’t watch this match.. correct it. now!

The Bromans with DJ Zema Ion cut a Promo – or better yet, a Bro-Mo. Which I actually found rather funny, they are becoming the best tag team in TNA, specially as Bad Influence have just been doing run-ins rather than anything themselves. Apparently EY and Park have a Title Match with them scheduled for next week. Not sure why, but they do. So EY headed down to the ring to get beaten up when Abyss joined the fight. The interesting note is that Abyss throttled EY till EY convinced him to let go. I like the idea of EY “unleashing the monster” and then not being able to control him. I still think EY should actually become a Mad Scientist, with his attire and gimmick.

I have no idea why Abyss showed up, nothing happened to make Park fully change… it’s all a little bit confusing.

Spud vs. Samoa Joe

With Samoa Joe being picked by Sting to be in his corner, Dixie put him in a Match against Spud. This marks the first singles Match Spud has had in TNA since they were last in the UK. Not to mention his first Singles Match on Impact in the US.

EC3 gave Spud a great pep talk backstage calling him “The British Dream” another idea I hope they run with. It ended with Spud roaring like a lion trying to get himself fired up.

Spud easily steals every backstage segment and almost every segment he is in. With Dixie saying he shouldn’t worry about facing Joe, as Spud won the British Boot-Camp he quickly added “yeah, by beating two girls!” which at once was highly amusing and a good slap in the face to Party Marty Scurll.

In terms of good promos though, Joe is one of the best, and tonight that was no different, coming at Spud with a fierce intent. The match was over as quickly as it started with Spud getting a few moves but over all Joe dominating the match. Muscle Buster straight to Submission Victory.

Sting (w/ Samoa Joe) vs. Magnus – No DQ – World Heavyweight Championship vs. Contract

Sting and Magnus had a little back and forth, but obviously the main part of the match didn’t kick off until Dixie showed up with EC3. Then it was an all out war between Sting, Joe and Magnus, EC3, Spud, Bad Influence, Zema Ion and Bobby Roode.

Clearly this was the match that got peoples interest as Genesis Part Two had the highest TV Ratings Impact  has had in over a year.

Sting battled on, but at every turn he was met with another obstacle. Until of course Magnus dropped him with the Driver and Dixie forced Earl Hebner to count the three.

Magnus held his Championship up high and tore Sting’s contract up in front of him.

I suppose the big question is what happens now, clearly this Investor Story is going to bring Sting back, and Jeff Hardy, and probably, let’s be honest, AJ Styles.

Now this could turn out to be Jeff Jarrett and his new promotion, or linked to it, with this Investor changing things in TNA and pulling power away from Dixie. Or Jeff Jarrett could have literally left the company.

Who knows.

What I do know though is that it’s exciting. Even if it is MVP revealed next week, I look forward to where this Story is going, the aftermath of Sting “leaving” TNA and the Wolves’ in-ring debut.

For us lucky enough to live in the UK – Challenge will Air this week’s Impact from Glasgow LIVE as it happens, before anywhere else!

So tune in!

Till Then,

Dan Wilkinson.

www.TheSteelChair.com

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

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