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The Jobber Blogger #88 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – GENESIS: PART TWO – 23/1/14

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The Jobber Blogger comes Whizzing in at 88mph like Marty McFly… only without purpose and motive. To think I’ve managed to whittle on for 88 issues just boggles my mind like those fish with the big eyes. Or boglins.

Boglins

Why don’t we have crazy weird toys anymore, aside from my Marvel Mega Bloks collection (damn you Disney!) I feel strangely non-motivated to collect other types of useless tat. I like useless tat, and believe it or not I will spend good money on it. It’s like anyone whom reads this, spending useless amounts of their time reading my useless tat of a Wrestling Based article!

What isn’t useless tat though is this week’s Impact – the aptly named “Genesis – Part 2” where God thought to himself, Damn, better try harder next time, something about the world being created, a big bang or Mosses. Or combine them all to have Mosses taking the role of Adam and Eve and sailing by himself performing unsanitary acts to himself on a boat before he drowns horribly.

Yup… nothing sets up the following report like a controversial religious slur….. Wrestling!

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TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – Genesis: Part Two – 23/1/14

Moving swiftly on from last week’s epiphany of eating Sultanas to Write my blog, I tried the same this week only to bite myself, so I suggest everyone reframe from doing so. They should be labelled with a health warning. Once I’m done talking about Wrestling I will be off to Write a Stern Letter to Tesco!

Impact kicked off with Dixie, Spud, Magnus and Dixie’s Lawyer – Creed. Whom fits two roles from The Office U.S, obviously having the name “Creed” and looking surprisingly similar to James Spader.

Creed Spader

This “new investor” Storyline has been kicked up quite a notch, after only being mentioned last week, to having him buying a great deal of shares to be able to sway the company. The nice little nod was to his intentions being “Wrestling Operations”. Which to me is a clear sign that TNA want to move the company back to the Wrestling greatness they once had. But this Investor is already calling the shots and setting up a “Hostile Takeover” – correct me if I’m wrong, but I didn’t think you could buy shares of a Company and then actually control it. I might invest my pennies wisely this month… probably in Tesco and add that Health Warning on the damn sultanas!

Of course I’m still eating them! What else would you have me do?

Magnus, Spud and EC3 made their way to the ring where I can quite honestly say Magnus impressed me on the mic. He’s never been a great talker, but this whole Heel Champion run even if it’s early days, is something he seems to be running with really well. Magnus’ main gripe was about Sting being a “man” and putting his career on the line for one more shot at the World Championship, but with this Investor in place, he managed to gain Sting an advantage by having someone in his corner.

Sting obviously confronts Magnus, a whole load of “I’m a Man” crap and Sell-out rubbish is thrown around, the biggest aspect is that the Crowd have adopted the “Paper Champion” name for Magnus, interesting to see how his home crowd reacts this week, I would cheer…. Personally speaking.

Everything breaks down in a fight, it is Wrestling after all, and we find out Samoa Joe is going to be in Sting’s corner in his Championship match.

Gunner vs. James Storm – #1 Contender Brief Case

It seems the way to win this match is to just get the case and hug it. Taz made reference to it being like “American Football” which if I dig out my old rant Banner – Hugging the case fits perfectly with that idea.

HugBall

I actually expected the crowd to be more into this than they were, quite early on Gunner hit a Top Rope Fall-Away Slam on Storm which didn’t seem to draw much reaction. Storm got more of a response from pulling off a Top Rope Hurricanrana, which took me by surprise, like everyone else.

The ending came with Storm grabbing the Brief Case but Gunner got Storm in an Electric Chair so Gunner elevating Storm to his Shoulders sort of acted like an easier way for Storm to get the case, but then Gunner dropped him backwards with Storm dropping the case. They both did a little crawl on each other type of thing before Gunner just head butted the Cowboy and hugged the Case like his favourite Winnie the Pooh Bear.

Gunner hug pooh

I don’t think I was on my own thinking that this would be the match where Storm turns Heel. But alas, it’s not yet to be. I am somewhat glad Gunner kept the Case, I still think he could do with a little extra before he’s truly “ready” as a Character. I noticed he had a bit of an intro to his music now, though his music still sucks. I like his attire and ring jacket, I just think some crazy camouflage “War-Paint” would be rather cool, let him be scary and intense. Hell, try and get him over like a Soldier type of Ultimate Warrior.

Austin Aries vs. Chris Sabin – X-Division Championship – Velvet in a Cage

While I still don’t get what putting Velvet in a cage proves, surely she could have shown her independence and thus Sabin show his, and her not get involved by I don’t know… not going to the ring with him. But whatever, gimmicks be gimmicks.

What was nice and also terrible at the same time was Velvet’s “Impact 365” where she received a Present from Sabin. What stood out to me was her looking normal, she looks far better without the overdone make-up and trampy clothes. But hey, it’s her career. She decided to do an “Un-boxing” of her present for all of her fans. And within this box was a Teddy Bear (Which we never saw), a Gift Bag (which we never saw) and a Lead Pipe. Did it bug anyone else knowing that all of these items surely couldn’t fit into this one box. That aside, Velvet didn’t seem to know what to do with the Pipe, no that’s not a euphemism.

Velvet brought this big “not cute looking” gift-bag into the Cage with her. Now given the stipulation of this match, and should I be any type of competent official, I might have wanted to know what was in this giant blue bag, given that they check knee pads an all.

The match was good though, and for anyone whom would even Argue that Austin Aries isn’t the best Wrestler going today, then this Match was packed full with proof that he is.

I am actually rather glad that Velvet being locked in a Cage didn’t play more on the match than it did, for Sabin and Aries are capable of putting on a great match, and last year we saw them both steal the show many times. Though it did have a hindrance on the ending, as Sabin went to get the Bag from Velvet, he found within it a Teddy Bear. I might have even been Gunners?

Aries Bear FLy

Still, Aries proceeded to push the bear helplessly down the front of his trunks, an act I found far more offensive than the Christy Hemme stunt. One corner drop-kick and Brain Buster later, Aries won back the X-Division Gold.

I guess at the end of the day, Aries didn’t win cleanly either with Sabin himself being distracted by Velvet… so I’m sure we’ve not seen the last of this. And maybe next time she will just stay out of the match for everyone’s benefit.

The Wolves had their first Promo this week in the shape of a Video Promo. I can’t tell you how excited I am to see these guys in action. I’ve heard good things and having a Tag-Team debut in TNA has been long over-due. I said it in my “Best of TNA” Article that I want a great Tag-Team Division built this year, and in January we have one of the most talked about teams from the Indie Scene come to TNA.

They are heavily linked with this “Investor” Storyline last week saying that they aren’t here for a TNA Try-out match like Dixie thought, but they have been signed by this outside investor. Again, I didn’t know you could do that through Shares? Still, this mystery investor is said to be revealed this week in Glasgow Scotland. The current rumours are its MVP – I hope not, because he sucks. His own self encouraged chant was “Boring”. It could have been Ball-in… but as there was no Ball I decided to go with what just made more sense, and how I was currently feeling.

Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle – Steel Cage Match

Still seems a little silly Kurt needs to be Roode to get into the TNA Hall of Fame. But hey, that’s the stipulation, given that this is going to be seen as Angle’s great victory, it sort of over shadows the last how many times Roode won?

However that isn’t the worst part, Roode seemed to be in a self-mocking mood also as he wore this horrible 90’s (I can’t afford a trench coat) monstrosity to the ring.

Roode new Coat

I get that it’s Wrestling attire, but it looks so awful if it’s not attire or in the least bit stylish. He just looks like he’s come straight to the ring from a quick visit with the nearest Gimp.

Which quite nicely fits with another bad idea I had forgotten about. Kurt Angle has a tattoo! I had totally forgotten about that, though Ten Years ago it looked bad, now it looks like a Dirty Smudge on his Shoulder, like he’s been Wrestling Hardy and his face paint rubbed off.

Angle Tattoo

With all my joking aside, this match was a joy to watch. These days when you get a Cage Match they are usually a disappointment. Over the years they’ve been built up with these huge high spots and obviously not every match is going to have them. Though Hardy and Magnus in Dixie Land was also very good.  But Roode and Angle not only had a match I felt worthy of putting a Scribble next to, to remind myself in almost a year’s time when I write this year’s Best of TNA. But they put on one of the best Cage Matches over the last few years. Which is also great but this match now cements Genesis as having one of those “Must See Matches” like last year’s Triple Threat Main Event.

Angle climbed to the top of Cage after being egged on by the fans and performed his infamous Moonsault. Sure Roode moved out of the way and Angle had a nice bounce upon his landing. To be fair over the years when Angle has done that move before,  and his opponent didn’t move, he barely landed on them anyway. Roode was crawling out of the ring when Angle pulled him back in at the last second.

Roode hit his “Roode Bomb” which still irritates me as a name, for Kurt to kick out. What was more surprising was the awesome Angle Slam from the Top Rope which Roode kicked out off to yet another “flat reaction” from the crowd.

In the end Angle made his way up to the top of the Cage and when Roode realized he crawled his way out of the door, this ended up in a race to the Bottom which Angle won by falling the remaining distance.

If you didn’t watch this match.. correct it. now!

The Bromans with DJ Zema Ion cut a Promo – or better yet, a Bro-Mo. Which I actually found rather funny, they are becoming the best tag team in TNA, specially as Bad Influence have just been doing run-ins rather than anything themselves. Apparently EY and Park have a Title Match with them scheduled for next week. Not sure why, but they do. So EY headed down to the ring to get beaten up when Abyss joined the fight. The interesting note is that Abyss throttled EY till EY convinced him to let go. I like the idea of EY “unleashing the monster” and then not being able to control him. I still think EY should actually become a Mad Scientist, with his attire and gimmick.

I have no idea why Abyss showed up, nothing happened to make Park fully change… it’s all a little bit confusing.

Spud vs. Samoa Joe

With Samoa Joe being picked by Sting to be in his corner, Dixie put him in a Match against Spud. This marks the first singles Match Spud has had in TNA since they were last in the UK. Not to mention his first Singles Match on Impact in the US.

EC3 gave Spud a great pep talk backstage calling him “The British Dream” another idea I hope they run with. It ended with Spud roaring like a lion trying to get himself fired up.

Spud easily steals every backstage segment and almost every segment he is in. With Dixie saying he shouldn’t worry about facing Joe, as Spud won the British Boot-Camp he quickly added “yeah, by beating two girls!” which at once was highly amusing and a good slap in the face to Party Marty Scurll.

In terms of good promos though, Joe is one of the best, and tonight that was no different, coming at Spud with a fierce intent. The match was over as quickly as it started with Spud getting a few moves but over all Joe dominating the match. Muscle Buster straight to Submission Victory.

Sting (w/ Samoa Joe) vs. Magnus – No DQ – World Heavyweight Championship vs. Contract

Sting and Magnus had a little back and forth, but obviously the main part of the match didn’t kick off until Dixie showed up with EC3. Then it was an all out war between Sting, Joe and Magnus, EC3, Spud, Bad Influence, Zema Ion and Bobby Roode.

Clearly this was the match that got peoples interest as Genesis Part Two had the highest TV Ratings Impact  has had in over a year.

Sting battled on, but at every turn he was met with another obstacle. Until of course Magnus dropped him with the Driver and Dixie forced Earl Hebner to count the three.

Magnus held his Championship up high and tore Sting’s contract up in front of him.

I suppose the big question is what happens now, clearly this Investor Story is going to bring Sting back, and Jeff Hardy, and probably, let’s be honest, AJ Styles.

Now this could turn out to be Jeff Jarrett and his new promotion, or linked to it, with this Investor changing things in TNA and pulling power away from Dixie. Or Jeff Jarrett could have literally left the company.

Who knows.

What I do know though is that it’s exciting. Even if it is MVP revealed next week, I look forward to where this Story is going, the aftermath of Sting “leaving” TNA and the Wolves’ in-ring debut.

For us lucky enough to live in the UK – Challenge will Air this week’s Impact from Glasgow LIVE as it happens, before anywhere else!

So tune in!

Till Then,

Dan Wilkinson.

www.TheSteelChair.com

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

 http://striketapandgrapple.com

http://www.cageamateursuk.com

The Jobber Blogger #84 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 2/1/14

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Welcome to a Brand New Year! And unlike the opening sentence, nope there is nothing new at all about this blog. Well aside from the fact that it is written about this week’s TNA: Impact of course.

I do hope everyone enjoyed their New Year celebrations, and given my opening Paragraph said there was nothing new, there actually is! No better way than to start the year with a double bluff! Happy New Year! Got you, it’s only 11:57pm! In the face, in the drink and down the stairs!

So yes, News! I like news, it’s interesting, entertaining and oh wait, I don’t actually watch the news. I do however keep up to date with Wrestling “news” and Video Game news, and then that about covers my Worldwide knowledge of global happenings. A possible Guardians of the Galaxy or new Spider-Man Cartoon? I’m in! Take that War!

Well it’s officially taken me 3 attempts to spread the news, The Jobber Blogger is expanding! From this point on his words of wisdom and cultural disdain will spread the IGN Blogs to CageAmateurs UK (Strike/Tap and Grapple) and now onto the new Sandy Shores of TheSteelChair.com

Bring on 2014 like a Flying Wad of Cashing straight into the pocket! I’m selling out!

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 2/1/14

Yep, it’s the first show of 2014 says TNA, but it’s not though really is it. This was filmed over a Month ago. And so is next weeks, so don’t go spoiling it for yourselves. If you want a lovely way to stay up to date with TNA News, head on over to facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind and call in on the TheSteelChair.com for articles about said news! And eat your way out of that Holiday Depression!

Apparently I found the opening video of Impact rather funny this week, though I don’t remember why, so excuse me whilst I refresh my memory. And now I’m back! I feel like how I imagine Lindsay Lohan feels after she awakens from yet another desperate attempt to further her career, yet can’t remember the night before and searches for it on the Internet.

Impact’s opening Video was a strange mixture of Comedy meets Excellence. No, you can’t have both. With such phrases like “From the United Kingdom, that means, He’s British!” “To rule under Dixie, forever, and ever, amen”. What kind of weird thing is this.

Ah, alas the humour is wasted unless presented in a Visual form. Maybe…. nah.

So Kurt Angle kicked off Impact this week, and I guess he’s suffering from a Lindsay Lohan situation to, for he didn’t seem sure of his own name and perhaps feared people had forgotten it also. “My name is Kurt Angle”, ah, the whole thing reeks of Scripted Television.

Kurt Angle is my name

Angle felt 2013 was the worst year of his Career, and in order, I quote “Beatings from The Aces and Eights and Personal Problems”. Well The Aces and Eights was a storyline and therefore your Job, the personal stuff he did on his own. Either way Bobby Roode soon crashed the segment hoping Kurt was about to “Hang-Up his Boots” but much to everyone’s dismay, he didn’t.

No, instead they made a Steel Cage Match for Genesis, Angle vs. Roode, if Roode wins Angle must leave and never accept the TNA Hall of Fame induction. So I guess this time, Angle will actually Win. Though who knows, maybe Roode will. Either way I feel Angle will be inducted into the Hall of Fame this year and therefore this whole Storyline resulted in a way that they had another Year under their belts to think of who else they could induct, seeing as they have no-one else. Obviously they have tons of guys who should be there, but they are in their Prime, it’s more of a “end of career” thing. Still Roode and Angle closed it out with a fight, coz it’s Wrestling and that’s what they do. So Rockstar Spud made a Tag-Team match where they both get to chose their Partners.

Gail Kim (W/Lei’D Tapa) vs. Madison Rayne

So it’s another Open Challenge, but I’m sure the rules were to anyone outside of TNA, and Madison is on the Roster (I presume). That’s why Gail didn’t fight ODB under the Open Challenge ruling, so it makes no sense. Still, Tapa had an expression on her face like she was ready to beat down on Gail Kim…

Tapa uh oh

Either that, or she just suddenly had the biggest Bowel Movement of her life. That means Poop. How Big you say?

Tapa This Big

As normal, I made very few notes during this match. I wrote down that Madison has improved in the ring… I hear being Pregnant will do that to you. Also as I wrote down “she has improved” she made an error in the ring. But still, the main statement rings true. Not sure if she works as a Face yet though.

The main note I made was that her Outfit sucks. It’s like she’s trying to hide something, perhaps after becoming a Mother she realised that she was hitting Middle Age and rushed off down to her local Tattoo shop to cash in on a nifty Drawing of her Favourite Nolan-Batman Villain.

Madison tattoo

I can’t wait for the New Batman movies, Nolan’s films were rather dull. But without going on a big rant, let’s all just agree that Nolan is hugely over-rated.

In the end however, Madison managed to Pin Gail once more by countering her Eat Defeat into a Backslide and winning.

Chris Sabin (w/Velvet Sky) vs. Austin Aries – X-Division Championship – Rematch

I haven’t really thought about this before, but if Aries beat Sabin for the belt, Sabin cashed in a Rematch, won the belt back, therefore Aries shouldn’t have a Rematch? Right? Because otherwise they will be in a continual loop. Unless of course Aries was “screwed” out of the Title.

Sabin and Velvet continue to show how bad of a couple they are. To be honest, I didn’t need to see Sabin treat her badly for me to come to that conclusion. Just put Velvet Sky next to Chris Sabin and it looks like a mismatch. Velvet is attractive of course, but then the Tramp Stamp and sluttiness of her character degrade that, pair that up with how she looks outside of the ring and she looks worse, then I think Sabin is the type of guy who shouldn’t be with that kind of girl. Being the old Nerd / Popular Girl thing. Then on the other hand, Velvet does seem like a nice person, and Sabin has scruffy hair and a fuzzy face and really is a rather weird looking chap. And it’s like what’s going on?

The Story of this match is that Sabin wants to win with the Championship, and he wants Velvet to help him win, and if he doesn’t leave with the Championship after this match, then he will leave without her.

Aries was cooking on all cylinders, but then, he always does. And here’s a lovely Plug for my up and coming Best of TNA 2013 article, featuring my chosen “Match of The Year Nominees”

match nom

Aries hit his fast paced hard hitting Corner Dropkick on Sabin, and rather than capitalising as he always does, he shouted at Velvet to climb on the apron, which she did and Sabin then Low-Blowed Aries and Won back the X-Division Championship.

My problem with that is the whole Sabin seems fine after getting the Drop-Kick. Aries would have hit the Brain Buster by now, and yet Sabin spent the time just telling Velvet to do something rather than selling the move he would normally do. I get it from a Story-Telling perspective, it just breaks the flow.

Sabin then went on to Congratulate himself, which I commend.

Samuel Shaw vs. Norv Fernam

Well yet again Norv has awesome music, I couldn’t find it however and instead ended up watching more Clips of Brock Lesnar’s baby scream from Raw.

You know, Norv and Dewey had a far greater introduction to TNA than EC3 did, it was much more creative. Samuel Shaw, I think he is best summed up as “Meh” currently. He was “Meh” before, so I get the whole idea of letting him get some air-time as a new Gimmick. Seeing as the whole “Surf’s Up Dude” thing didn’t work for him, or Christian York. Least Shaw was somewhat more impressive in the ring, though I also don’t care. But he certainly has a Crazy Face, and if that’s what it takes to have a good career in Wrestling then so be it. I suppose a weird smart dressed Wrestler who has a crazy face and stalks Women is a new gimmick… right? I still think it would be far funnier if he carried around a Drawing Pad and coloured crayons and drew “dark / scary” pictures when he met people he didn’t like.

But Taz and Tenay did at least managed to mention that Shaw is a good Drawer, something which I seemed to have forgotten was relevant to being a Wrestling Fan.

It was your basic Squash match, though Shaw won with a Submission victory, so that’s at least nice to see a new Submission used to hopefully give him the wins.

scary picture

 Kurt Angle and Gunner vs. Bobby Roode and James Storm

I can’t help but feel they did this “Beer Money” reunion the wrong way, I suppose it’s probably because Roode is supposed to still be viewed as a Heel, and having the Crowd on his Side takes it away from Goody Too Shoes Angle. You know what I would like to see, I want Gunner to be proven right in the end, and that Storm is a paranoid dude who didn’t get that Gunner was trying to do nice things for him and Storm snaps and uses a Beer Bottle to smash over Gunner’s head to either win the Briefcase from him, or the Championship, putting Storm in the same shoes Roode once was. That could be a good catalyst to bury the grudge between Roode and Storm and be the starting of a Beer Money reunion properly. Just spit ballin’.

Gunner is becoming increasingly good, I like his look, I like his Ring Jacket. I like how he fired himself up smashing his face into the Turnbuckle. I think something really big could come from his potential. I said it from the get go, this pairing with Storm was to mould Gunner.

But that doesn’t put Storm in a good position though after Gunner is established.

I still feel strongly that Storm is in need of a Heel Turn, he was a good Heel, and he’s been dragging his Spurs on the ground for too long.

Angle never got the Tag in the match, as it was dominated by Roode and Storm, the whole match was weird having Face and Heel teaming on each side, they couldn’t go too far with Storm and Roode breaking the rules, especially if Angle was in the ring. Still Angle eventually had, had enough and tore it down with German Suplexes, Gunner then picked up Bobby Roode to finish him off with the “Gun-Rack” which then left him open for Storm to hit The Last Call Superkick on Gunner and Roode dropped him with his Death Valley Cutter thing I wish he named already, and Storm and Roode picked up the win.

They didn’t “Beer Money out” I assume to leave a gap between the Heel / Face of both guys, but it was a nice little match. The Gunner / Storm story is shaping up well also.

EC3 hit the ring to continue his “Winning Streak” after proclaiming to have changed the Wrestling industry. Which isn’t a good thing as most people who aren’t fans of TNA seem to Loath EC3. But seeing as Jeff Hardy left TNA last week, EC3 apparently contacted him via Twitter and Challenged him to a Match tonight, Jeff’s music played, but alas he didn’t make it to the ring, so EC3 counted him out. A clear sign Hardy obviously isn’t done with the Company, weird as Hardy’s role is linked the AJ’s and with Jarret leaving, it all just seems too suspicious for my liking.

Still, it wasn’t that Hardy didn’t want to accept the Challenge, as a matter of fact the only reason he didn’t make the Match was because he was on a Flight back to North Carolina at the time. To his credit though, he did attempt to leave the plane mid flight.

Jeff PlaneSting got in EC3’s face once more, taking a page out of Storm’s book and making everything “his business”. Sting just called EC3 a LapDog and wanted to Fight him. And eventually with the help of the Crowd EC3 accepted Sting’s Challenge for Genesis.

Bully Ray vs. Joseph Park

I am glad they actually addressed this, EY booked this match for Park given that it was 2 years ago this Week that saw Bully Ray vs. Abyss in a Monsters Ball where Bully led Abyss outside, and he disappeared from there on out. Leaving to Joseph Park turning up, etc. So it does appear that there might be answers to that question at the end of this Story somewhere. So I am optimistic currently!

Bully told Park before the match that he would hate to see him Burn for the Sins of Anderson, and in the match Bully just sprayed “lighter fluid” all over Park till Anderson turned up. Bully then sprayed “lighter fluid” all over Anderson and threatened to set him on Fire, then Bully left. So.. that was strange… but good also.

Which of course brings us to Magnus’ Coronation!

Spud did the main Introduction which was awesome, he’s really good in this role as Chief of Staff. Though it did drag a little bit toward the end…. then EC3 did yet another Introduction, which I have no idea why, that dragged even more and ruined the whole start of the Coronation.

Dixie then finally came out after two introductions and told the Story about how she found Magnus / Signed him and proud of him to represent her Company as her World Champion, so Magnus finally came out, after three introductions.

Magnus skipped the Usual heel turn promo “Why, Magnus, Why?” crap, though did fall into the “The Fans turned their backs on me!” crap. Who cares, I hate this thinking that “Bad Guys” need “Reasons”.

Gunner then crashed the Coronation demanding his World Championship Match, but that just led to Spud, EC3 and Magnus beating down on Gunner, and with Gunner pinned down Magnus was ready to hit him with the TNA World Championship when AJ Styles finally  came back.

It was a little on the nose with AJ’s return to TNA, very expected. Even if I didn’t know it happened before hand or not. AJ and Magnus shared words but at least Magnus still has a sense of Pride and accepts to fight AJ next week to determine the Official TNA: World Heavyweight Champion.

A clumsy ending, the pay off was still good, hopefully will be more so next week.

I can’t wait for Genesis so TNA isn’t airing things that happened ages ago, and we can keep up to date with it as it happens.

Till then.

 

Dan Wilkinson.

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

 

http://cageamateursuk.com

http://striketapandgrapple.com

The Jobber Blogger #82 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – FINAL RESOLUTION – 19/12/13

December 24, 2013 by DiVineDiablo

 Jobber Blogger Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! No, don’t be silly, I wouldn’t ever take the time out of my Christmas to sit at my computer and Write about Wrestling for hours. But I will do it on Christmas Eve!

So the principle is still the same.

We are nearing the end of 2013 and that means the “Best Of’s” are right around the Corner, I have been putting Pen to Paper and Eyes to Screens and Paper to Eyes and I drew on my Computer a little bit, all to figure out this Year’s edition of the Best of 2013. Unlike last year I will be doing “Nominees” instead of just picking and choosing, but alas, that isn’t this, and this isn’t that, and so let’s get ready to break down Final Resolution!

TNA Final Resolution

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – FINAL RESOLUTION – 19/12/13

Though on the surface it seems like this was a little “thin” on the Match front, but then I guess that does make sense given the fact it’s a TV Special and still only slotted into One and a Half Hours of Television. But on the flip side, it does mean it’s One and a Half Hours of Great Television. Though I watched it on my Computer.. through an HDMI onto my TV… so what does that count as? TV / Web / Stream?

Magnus kicked off the night with a nifty little “is Dixie and Jeff here yet?” backstage paranoia, then he just went to the ring to give them both something to “react” to.

See, I like Magnus, I always have, he’s full of potential, and I would have liked to see him carry the Television Championship (back when it was defended on TV) for a little while. In fact the TV Title is a great concept if they keep up with it. Still, that’s an argument for another day, (I also don’t miss it) but something about this Speech Magnus gave did “rub me the wrong way”

rubbed wrong way

Magnus went on to talk about how he “Loved this Business” but then he said something that stuck a little, “I can’t change where I’m from”. Now I don’t know how much of this was Written, it’s probably just to try and get the U.S fans on his side as a fabled “America is awesome!” and people eat it up despite its many, many, many flaws they seem to be utterly oblivious to. I’m sure Magnus is proud to be from England, but here’s the other side of that coin, TNA have since issued (spoilers) a Press Release about how Magnus is the first British World Heavyweight Champion (of this magnitude) in 108 years. So why would they write his speech as if he wanted to change where he was from?

Magnus Resent

Still, Magnus’ main problem… also on a side note, anyone actually stop and think that his name used to be Brutus, I just remembered that. That’s a “lol” moment and hopefully a future Bad Influence interaction.

So yeah, Magnus wanted to blab on about Jeff Hardy going to see Dixie at the end of last week’s show in her “VIP” banquet. He threw out phrases like “proud to work in America” “always been about Pride, Dignity, Respect” but can the same be said about Jeff?

Anyway, of course Jeff then hit the ring to set Magnus straight, which is funny because mere minutes ago he hadn’t arrived, but then he was there just in time to hear what Magnus had to say. Ahh, the fun of little gripes. Like a Perfect Meal with One Tiny Flaw you can Pick at all night…. (anyone?)

Anyway, the rest of the segment goes as you would imagine, Jeff being all defensive, to the point that the crowd were against him. Magnus brought up the 10/10/10 Immortal Heel Turn, and in the end Jeff just said “Worry about your own life, don’t worry about mine” and left.

This whole “Is Jeff in cahoots with Dixie?” angel plagued the entire show, and whilst I appreciate the effort of trying to cloud people’s minds and turn the tables so to speak on the “Good Guy”, it also opens up many plot holes. But I will get  back to that rant later!

Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode – 2 out of 3 Falls

I shall let you in on a little secret, I actually sat watching this match thinking to myself “I like it when I’m surprised, but clearly, there’s no way Roode is winning this”.

And of course much to my surprise Roode actually picked up the first fall rather quickly, (rather quickly being a good phrase to describe this match also). After a timely “kick to the groin” Roode got the first fall under his belt in no time. Which obviously doesn’t mean much, it just goes to show the normal “formula” of the Heel on top and the Face fighting back.

What bugged me the more though was that only a short amount of time later, Angle pinned Roode with an Angle Slam. It came from a chain of moves, but it wasn’t anything special. Nor did he really “beat down” Roode to the point that he would be beat. So this whole idea of Angle can’t beat Roode was then changed when Angle beat Roode easily with doing very little. I would get it if Roode took a lot of punishment, or eventually tapped to the Ankle-Lock after gut-wrenching agony. But no, he just “lost” easily.

The highlight of the match would probably come with Angle using the “Cross-Face” on Roode, which Roode managed to counter, which was then Reversed into the Angle-Slam but Roode kicked out. Which would have been better if he had lost the second fall after a series of moves like that, gruelling effort and all.

The finish came with Roode rolling through from the Ankle-Lock, trapping Kurt in a Pin and held the Ropes to get the 3-Count.

So yeah, I really wanted Roode to win, I love Roode, he’s awesome. Angle is obviously good too, but this match (though good) did feel a little fast paced for my liking, rather than a more “PPV Quality” bout. But having Roode picking up the win does correct that.

We later had a backstage segment with Kurt talking about how Roode has had his number every step of the way and that Angle has never faced this before in his career and he will have to “think what my next move is” regarding where he goes from now in his Career.

Also the use of the Cross-Face still kind of bugs me, it just reeks of Benoit, and that’s a horrible stink. Match that against Kurt and it reeks of the feuds they both had years ago, and that’s a horrible thing too. I get that Roode is Canadian and it’s a good hold, but I still don’t like it.

Seeing as I did a good ol bit of “plugging” last week for Brian Altano’s Misanthrope album, I think it’s time I actually remember to promote TNA’s new line of Deluxe Impact Series x11 – Figures. Featuring Austin Aries, Velvet Sky, Jeff Hardy and Commander Riker from Star-Trek the Next Generation:

Deluxe Impact 11

Eric Young heads to the ring to continue his “experiment” in finding Abyss inside Joseph Park. Which also hit me that I myself have just come to a rather unexpected conclusion!

Park Penn

To take it one step further!

Penn and Teller

To help along this experiment, EY has secured Park a match against Bad Influence next week in a “Monsters Ball”. And to help Park prepare, EY gave him some early Christmas Presents, a Steel Chair, a Bag of Thumbtacks and some Barbed Wire. And to top it all off, Janice, which was hidden under the ring, which is when Park decided to agree to the Match.

I can’t decide if they will just let Park find “Abyss” or if “Abyss” will turn up, one of the two will happen. I think it’s more likely he will find Abyss, but it’s nice to see this moving along now. Not to mention next week’s match should be pretty good!

Feast or Fired

They kept mentioning that “Smith and Stone Lawfirm” were in charge of handling this matter, but I would have thought they could have someone a little more.. you know, better qualified?

Smith and Stone

The fact James Storm accompanied Gunner into the room shows you that something is going down between the two. He was stood at the back of Gunner’s Chair like a Lover tagging along to a Doctor’s Appointment. Made it worse when Hernandez didn’t turn up to help give Chavo much needed Support.

Apparently Smith and Stone decided how to open the Briefcases also, and it wasn’t 1,2,3,4 like any normal person would think is fair.

Still, the segment had “Dramatic Music / Camera Cuts” and shoddy written all over it. Zema picked up an X-Division title Shot, which is fine given how the rest of the Cases played out, though it’s a tad on the nose.

Gunner got the World Heavyweight Championship shot which he then declared “Finally get what I deserve!” leaving a close up shot of James Storm looking on annoyed.

Then Sting turns up and has a big rant about Entitlement and Legacy, and that someone like EC3 who was “given the job because he is a relation to Dixie” has an equal chance of keeping his job as Chavo does “who has worked his entire life for his profession”. Sting offered EC3 the chance to give Sting the briefcase, and he will accept its fate, on the condition he Wrestles him just once. EC3 kept the case and won a World Tag-Title Match, and Chavo got fired. So it’s good news all round really.

The bit that bugged me was Sting asking if Chavo ever got handed anything in his Career, and he said because he is a Guerrero he had to work twice as hard. Which makes no sense at all.

Everyone knows he’s been Riding Eddie’s coat-tails for the majority of his career, the fact his second name is Guerrero is the only reason he’s got a job, lord knows it’s not because he’s a “great Wrestler”. Hell, even the Guerrero name didn’t carry him to great heights, for they re-branded him as freakin’ Kerwin White and he sucked even more.

That’s like saying Lacey Von Erich was in TNA because she was a fantastic Talent, she couldn’t Wrestle for sh*t, she only had the job because of her second name.

Entitlement my arse!

The only down side is I have a bad feeling Chavo will be back. But till then, let’s sit back and enjoy the possibilities.

Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa vs. ODB and Madison Rayne

Okay so part of the match ODB and Lei’D Tapa actually got to have a bit of a fight, something I’ve been ranting and raving about for ages now. And guess what, I hadn’t even realised it was going on and completely blanked straight through it. So that’s a good sign of things to come.

See that’s the thing, Lei’D Tapa isn’t being built up as this “Force” that she is. Her first match wasn’t even really played on as her first match, nor did she really come across as “impressive”. ODB and Tapa should have had this great Stand Off in the match where it actually felt it was “proving ground” for Tapa, yet they just carried on like a normal Match and therefore this “Spark” of unexplored territory became explored so quickly that I slept through it.

Madison seems to be in great shape though, and I’m glad she’s back. It’s nice that they are building on the fact that Madison and Gail used to be friends, but isn’t everyone in the Wrestling Business? Anyway, Gail set up Madison for Eat Defeat, but it was countered into a Back-Slide and Madison won. So I guess that’s the end of the Open Challenge, and it kind of sucked.

But I am glad Madison is back, though I doubt she will win the Championship.

Jeff Hardy vs. Magnus – New World Heavyweight Championship – Dixie Land Match

Okay, so before the match got underway, Jeff cut a promo telling everyone about what happened with Dixie. This after Samoa Joe went to see him for a sit down chat, and Sting went to see him but in a much nicer way. So Jeff mentioned 10/10/10 and that he made a bad decision, and everyone saw how that ended up at Victory Road. Dixie though offered Jeff a good bit of Money to be “Her Champion” but he knew that meant she would “Own” him, and as he put it “No-Body Owns Me!” and that he told Dixie to “Stick it!”. He then said he wants to Win the World Championship and be like AJ Styles and do it for the “People”.

So before we carry on, what is wrong with all of this? For starters, why the hell did Jeff go and see Dixie? Yes, I get it from an Audience swerve perspective, and Wrestling fans are so stupid that it’s amazing it worked (and believe me it worked… I talked to someone first hand who bought into it… it’s scary!)

But here is my problem, as someone who is a little more picky, at least in terms of Wrestling Storylines, you need to give me some reason why Jeff went to see her. Because if Jeff didn’t realise that Dixie was going to offer him money to do her bidding, then he’s an idiot… so I have no respect for that. Jeff told her to “Stick It”.. I doubt that, and again, what the hell was he expecting… so he’s an idiot. Now if Jeff’s other avenues, like Music and Art, which gets pumped through Dixie was mentioned and Jeff was “blackmailed” of sorts into meeting with her, then I understand. Any type of reason to get Jeff there that gives him credit rather than being an idiot is what I’m looking for. So I hope this isn’t the end of this “thing” and that Jeff actually has been placed between a Rock and a Hard Place, and his rebellious nation against the “Boss” is what leads to him “Leaving” TNA, then I am all for it. So that’s what I hope for.

Anywho, let’s carry on, Dixie headed to the ring to confront Jeff and his little speech. Dixie declared he has one thing in common with AJ, and that is that Dixie “made him”, his music, and art, and merchandise, and giving him the opportunities and second chances, he owes all of it to her. Which is true. And if Jeff doesn’t do as she wants, he will find himself out of a Job like AJ Styles. So hopefully this develops and evolves and runs deeper than he just went for a Meal “because he’s oblivious and an idiot”.

Anyway, the Match was fantastic, everything I wanted from it. Both Jeff and Magnus missed top rope moves, which led to EC3 coming out to stand with Dixie. Keeping up the theory that Jeff is an idiot the rules quite clearly state “You Need To Climb Over The Top of The Cage!” but he decided to try and fit through the Camera Hole

Jeff Hole

Probably the highlight of the Match was Jeff hitting a Perfect “Whisper in the Wind” from the Top of the Cage all the way down onto Magnus.

Magnus had nearly escaped the Cage when EC3 got involved to hold Magnus back, but Jeff resenting the help from Dixie took out EC3. Hardy then hit the Twist-of-Fate on Magnus on the Ramp, before making his way to the Ladder on the Stage. Hardy threw his Shirt at Dixie and then climbed the Ladder, and that’s when Rockstar Spud pushed the Ladder over and Hardy literally went Head-First and crash landed on the Ramp, which looked horrible. So okay, he didn’t go through tables like I predicted last week… he skipped on the possibilities of a softer landing, and decided to go head first on a Ramp, which was a horrible landing.

And of course that’s when Spud, EC3 and Dixie all rooted for Magnus, and he took the offer, climbed the Ladder got the Belt and sold out!

So everything happened as expected, but it was an awesome match and a great ending… I really hope Jeff is okay, coz that fall looked really painful.

Next week, Magnus as new Champ and Monsters Ball!

Huzah!

Have a Great Christmas Everyone!…… Linda!

Jeff Shark

Till Then,

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

http:www.cageamateursuk.com

The Jobber Blogger #67 – TNA: No Surrender – 12/9/13

September 17, 2013 by DiVineDiablo

 

Jobber Blogger logo2

Ahh, my fellow Jobber Blogs, or Blobs I would like to call you… that means fans. And I will no doubt lose some by referring to them as my “Blobs”. However, I shall stick with my judgement.

Well it’s been a strange week for the Jobber Blogger, I left my last issue, that’s #66 for those who can’t subtract, or indeed if I forget to write the title properly. I had some good bit of response from #66, both positive and negative, clearly I wouldn’t be writing these if I wasn’t a fan of TNA, it’s just sometimes they seem to do so many things all at once which annoy the hell out of me. That doesn’t make me hate them, only find it frustrating because of how much I want to see them succeed.

But a week later, a busy week at that, trips down south, a full weekend of events, the Jobber Blogger has finally watched No Surrender and is back on track to giving you his Worthless Opinion.

Though I would like to take this time to note something on a more personal note, with regards to my older issues, especially the more “negatively” viewed edition of last week, I would like to say that I will be putting down the pad, and retiring it, making this, the last issue. But of course, there’s no point in worrying about things, so on with the show!

 TNA: No Surrender – 12/9/13

 For the longest time TNA has had a track record of giving us, the fans, these awesome spectacles of Pay Per Views, they always delivered. Even if some of the booking was rushed, or certain matches weren’t great, on a hole I have always felt their PPV’s were the best in the industry, and the best I have seen for a long time.

Every now and then TNA really give us a crap show, and last week did kind of suck. So it is with great joy to say that No Surrender was Fantastic and hit home run after home run. No Surrender is the pure example of how good their Locker Room really is, sure they have so many crap ideas, and terrible bookings, and dodgy contracts, and money issues, and countless problems. At the end of the day, the heart and soul of what their business is, is successful!

Bully Ray kicked off the show telling everyone how pissed off he is about Anderson’s up front approach to his issues with the President. However Bully claims he is happy to Forgive, and at the end of the day, like most things TNA related… it’s Hogan’s fault.

Damn you Hogan

Which is Hogan’s queue to come out and face the music, of course being completely oblivious to anything being his problem. Of course being Hogan, his segment did pretty much involve him blabbing about stuff that isn’t relevant, he’s like a Teenager whom thinks everything revolves around him.. but in a good way. Still, Hogan’s reaction blew the roof off, so does that solidify his pay check… time will tell. Anderson makes his way out, blowing off a possible Hand Shake to the Hulkster and getting face to face with Bully Ray.

Bully is willing to forgive Anderson, if he would step up and Apologise for his actions, and then they can move on. Anderson did however apologise for being out of hand, and that he can’t wait to get more out of hand tonight and punched the Champ in the face.

Okay, so let’s put it this way, Anderson was on fire, everything that he has done correctly built to this one night where he was beat for beat perfect.

 Austin Aries vs. AJ Styles – BFG Semi Finals

 Ask anyone who is the best in TNA, and most people will tell you AJ Styles, and that response is built from an 11 Year bulk of fantastic work. He has always been the face of TNA Wrestling, and whether he was in the infamous “Claire Lynch” storyline or the best matches in the company’s history, AJ is synonymous  with TNA and the best in the industry.

Now the only other case of the best in TNA boils down to one Austin Aries, who last year filled out the “Match of the Year” nominations all on his own, let alone anyone he steps in the ring with he can have a fantastic match with. He literally is the definition of “Raising Your Game”. Plenty of people claim to have this ability, but only Austin Aries actually delivers it.

So one would assume when they collide they will have a match of epic proportions.  Their last bout had a dodgy ending that left everyone wanting more, and it was probably that ending which tainted the potential of their match. However I think everyone will agree, AJ Styles vs. Austin Aries – No Surrender 2013 – Match of the Year.

It might be a little premature to declare it the match of the year, but I don’t see anyone topping it, the only other contender will be the main event of Bound for Glory, but both ingredients aren’t there.

AJ still used this “Evil Ways” intro and then the “Get Ready to Fly” continuing, it still doesn’t really flow, but hopefully a combination, or just simply going “old school” will be in the near future.

Trying to write down the highlights of this match is just simply pointless, Watch it, end of.

The crowd was on fire for the entire night and it really lifted the atmosphere, Aries landed a full force Drop Kick to AJ running off the Ropes, and connected with his Brain Buster for a mere 2 Count.

Aries really stood out the more slightly impressive as the match progressed, but his fearsome Drop Kick in the corner was counted with AJ elevating him to the Top Rope, and proceeded to connect with his Styles Clash from the Second Rope to gain the Win and progress to the Finals.

 Bobby Roode vs. Magnus – BFG Semi Finals 

Part of me wants to try and launch a law suit against Magnus, many moons ago when I was a humbled crafty E-Fed’er I went by the name of Jake Damons, one of my top most loved Created Wrestlers, whose catch phrase was “The Future Is Now!”

It appears Magnus was a fan of my feeble Writings and Storylines for his praise about being the Future, made him declare that the Future is Now!

And yes, I am fully aware that this is a coined phrase used in many other areas outside of Professional Wrestling, and indeed I was not the first, but I like to brag. One of my fondest memories was actually attending a 1PW show in Doncaster in 2005 I believe, (a good portion of the TNA guys were performing there) and me and my friends (fellow E’feders) saw some guy with a “Future is Now” T-shirt and I was proud… it wasn’t mine, but still, for that split second, I felt like I mattered!

Bobby Roode paced back and forth demanding to start the match, part of it seemed like they were fueled and ready for battle, wanting to get the match over with quickly to move on to the finals. But it also felt more like they were short on time and wanting to fit in more segments and longer matches to come, so they had to pick up the pace.

It was obviously going to be hard to follow Aries and Styles, but Roode and Magnus did put on a good solid match. As good as Magnus is, I do however still feel he is out shinned by the other stars. In the end it was Magnus who caught Roode with a Jack-knife cover and picked up the Win. A little naff at times to see a match of this magnitude end with essentially a “Roll Up”.

Roode continued his frustrations backstage, blaming the whole thing on Hogan… obviously

Hulkisense

And Roode further declared that there will be no Winner of the Series.

 Speaking of Hogan, he sat down backstage with Manik (TJ Perkins… Suicide) for a rather odd segment. Basically it was the usual, “you look like a kid… but with the mask on, it works”.

TJ Whatever

I turned his “M” into a “W”! Yay Photoshop!

TJ wants a chance to prove himself, and asks for a match against Jeff Hardy, it’s like playing WWE Smackdown – Shut Your Mouth Campaign mode all over again.

Dixie then entered the room to break the news about Tito and Rampage being pulled from Impact, as they are getting “too physical” and it might ruin the appeal of Bellator MMA’s big Fight. Here’s a thought, let them be in MMA, and keep the Wrestlers in TNA… that sounds like it might work! o.O

Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson – World Heavyweight Championship – Last Man Standing Match

Hogan made the Match a Last Man Standing bout earlier on in the night, but I didn’t mention it then because it seemed to ruin the flow, the “Feng Shui” if you will.

Bully also had a segment backstage with the remaining members of The Aces and Eights, Knux, Wes and Garrett, saying how disappointed he is with how the Club is seemingly falling apart. And that he expects them to back him in this match.

Okay, sure, The Aces and Eights has had as many downs and ups, but like always when you watch a Video Promo of an up and coming match featuring The Aces and Eights, it is extremely good! I haven’t seen any type of Wrestling Storyline that actually runs the way it does, and sure on a week by week basis it feels watered down and takes a long time to get going, but watch it together as it has developed, it’s very good.

Before I go into the match itself, let’s just make this clear and point this out.

A lot of people really like Christy Hemme, and I was one of them, but a lot of people actually don’t like her. And Bully used Hemme in the match as a shield, and she seemed to damn near fall out of the piece of cloth she wore as a Dress.

Hemme Mess

“Aries insulted my Dignity!”

I’m not going to go into a big rant about being offended, I personally don’t care, but how can she build the entire up roar over Aries doing something in Character that worked, that could have easily tainted his position in the company, and in the same breath pretty much wear nothing on television herself. Stupid TNA even let it get that far.

I think it’s fair to say that Anderson has won the most “intense” Wrestler award, he was fantastic, and I don’t know if that’s because he was excited for Time off, or potentially leaving the company, or if he was just happy to be back in this position.

Either way, Anderson can at times be amazing, or dull, and finding that balance appears to be very hard, but The Aces and Eights has allowed him to be at his very best.

Again, Aces and Eights can be a bore at times, but my god was this match great. The crowd was all rallied up, and Bully and Anderson tore it down. Their look, the story, the attire, the music, a hardcore environment and a crazy crowd shows how much potential there is in this faction. To me, it reminded me of the much beloved “Attitude Era” that we have seen in a long time in any Wrestling organisation.

They can harness this and keep it running.

Either way, the match was great, it picked up with Bully pushing Hebner to the floor and Anderson dropping Bully with a Mic Check on a chair. This soon turned into Anderson being singled out, as Brooke Tessmacher herself dropped Anderson with a Low-Blow, and Knux, Garrett and Wes picked him up, delivered the “Kiss of Death”.. should be Knux’s finisher. And Triple Power-Bombed Anderson.

Knux Cuddle

Heading to a 9 Count Anderson got to his feet, Bully dropped him with a Chain Shot to the face that busted him open, again a close 10 Count later and Anderson got back to his feet. Finally Bully speared Anderson through a Table that kept him down for the Count. This is exactly how I’ve wanted a match to end for a long time, having just one guy keep coming against the odds, even in an losing effort.

Anderson was then Stretchered out of the ring by EMT’s who appear to have no idea what they are doing as they dragged and dropped him multiple times trying to get him on the Stretcher. But Bully wasn’t finished, throwing him to the floor, stripping him of his Cut, and finally Pile-Driving him on the Stage.

I get that the ending was powerful and no doubt serves as a way to get Anderson potentially off TV and maybe out of the Company, but I sort of hoped they would battle it out, and come back stronger. Especially if Anderson does finally take his punishment, sit in line and finally take out the President at a later date. I would rather he remained with the faction even if they didn’t get along, rather than just completely kick him out and injure him. This however does mean Anderson could come back and remove Bully Ray from being President and taking over himself, which I think the strength and longevity in this Faction would lie.

I for one hope TNA and Anderson come to an agreement on his Contract “apparently” and he remains with the Company, he is a true asset, and when he’s good, he’s great. But if not, then this will go down as probably his best match ever, and yet another strong contender for Match of the Year.

 The Cowboy James Storm and the Modern Day Viking Gunner made their way to the ring. This is the sort of segment they could have done backstage, or just not needed, but I guess it helped pad out the show and promote next week. Though it is flawed in a few ways.

Storm apparently was just happy sitting back and watching the BFG Series Finals, though he said Gunner wanted to fight, so they want someone to step up and challenge them.

Which is when Chavo and Hernandez stepped up to the Challenge, yay!

It does seem that Chavo could still be potentially turning Heel, stating that the best Tag-Team in the World is whatever team he is in. Which basically makes Hernandez expendable. And it’s also a big fat lie because Chavo sucks.

That is flaw number one, the biggest flaw is Gunner taking the mic and saying that if Chavo and Hernandez can beat them next week, they might get a title shot. (Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Wes and Garrett just beat them… where’s their title shot?) But more importantly, Gunner stated “Get in our business again, and I’ll bash your skull in”.. tough words. But, wasn’t the whole point of this segment because Gunner wanted to fight and called someone out, they came out, then he told them to get out of his business. Tough words, Thick as sh*t… now that’s a T-shirt!

Gunner

 Magnus vs. AJ Styles – BFG Finals

 

So AJ actually had a different mix of his music, it was the same, only with less pause, and it worked even less. Surely they could have just decided on a mix by now, I could do it in 5mins, why it is always different.

Also AJ looked really beat, but that could be because his match was fantastic, and Magnus won with a Roll Up.

Regardless, it was a huge main event, and by no means could they outperform AJ – Aries or Bully – Anderson. Half way through the match the boys from EGO hit the ring and beat them down, only to be escorted by a group of Ref’s, and the match carried on regardless. So their plan sort of didn’t work.

Magnus once again tried for the Texas Cloverleaf but AJ countered with what I thought was a Triangle Choke Hold, but Taz declared it’s known as the “GoGoPlata”. So I’m sure Undertaker changed the name, because otherwise it makes him sound like he’s the Caterer at Funerals.

AJ was battling Magnus from the Top Rope and after a series of fast paced rapid fire Forearms to the Face, Magnus fell, leaving AJ free to land the “Spiral Tap” and pick up the win, moving on to the Main Event at Bound for Glory.

Well, I called it. AJ to Win, Day One.

I love the over a year long journey they took AJ on to get him back into the main events, and I am sure he will defeat Bully next Month also.

It’s been far too long since he’s been TNA Heavyweight Champion, and let’s be honest, last year’s match of the year was Bully Ray and Austin Aries, Bully had many great matches with Joseph Park, Bully had yet another Match of the Year contender with Anderson, so Bully vs. AJ Styles sounds like a perfect mix.

Things got slightly more interesting for after AJ won, he took the mic declaring that what he said a few weeks ago was merely the tip of the ice berg for how he felt. He then went on to Invite Dixie Carter out next week, so he can get the rest of his chest. No doubt the whole “Contract Negotiation” thing will come into play, which begs the question, is all of it a Work?

 Either way, TNA delivered one of the best PPV’s this year, and a packed card full of amazing matches. I for one am fully excited for next week, let alone Bound for Glory.

 Till Then.

 … Oh wait, did you think at the start I meant I was retiring? Slap yourself my loyal Blobs! I purely meant my Note Pad was full and would be retiring. I have a Thick Mighty 400 Page Brand New Note-Pad coming out next week, so stay tuned for fresh paper and dodgy scribblings!

Also yes, I totally worded it that way for a reaction!

 TILL THEN!!!

 Dan Wilkinson.

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

http://www.cageamateursuk.com

 

 

 

The Jobber Blogger #65 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 29/8/13August 31, 2013

The Jobber Blogger #65 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 29/8/13August 31, 2013 by

Jobber Blogger logo2

Saturday Night, I’m High!, Saturday Night, High and Dry!

Yes, Def Leppard lyrics shall start off the opening of the Jobber Blogger #65. Which I would like to call my “Urghh” entry, amongst a whole bunch of “meh” and “flump” issues. “Urghh” because it just seems like such hard work to get myself motivated today. Sure it could be because I went to bed at 4:40am and got up at 11am. Is that enough hours sleep? Math be damned!

Either way, I decided I shall crack on and get this thing written for my mass of fans ready to not click on the link I provide. So in order to get ready I made an extra sweet coffee and prepared myself a lovely DibDab. Now I say prepared, all I did was empty the contents of the sachet into a bowl and smash my face into it tongue at the ready.

But yeah, so the preparation pretty much turned into me eating the DibDab sitting and looking on at the Screen.

Well I’ve finished licking the dish, and I guess it’s time I should get on with the show?

Impact Wrestling Logo

 

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 29/8/13

 

So Tito Ortiz is now sporting a “Punishment” Themed Aces and Eights shirt.

This is relevant because no-one really knew where he was aligned. Yes, he’s with Bully, but did that mean he’s with the Aces and Eights? Apparently so.

It still bugs me that he’s a grown man dressing like a teenage hipster idiot. Should that define his in-ring ability, his character, his personality…. yes, yes it should.

Bully went on a rant about having a Bad Day, I forget most of the details but I’m sure it’s somewhat relevant to only having one DibDab sachet left.

DibDap DudleyDib Dab Dudley – FTW

Bully took it in turn to ask his Club Members just what happened last week, and why did Devon end up losing his job?

Well, in a type of Hot Potato manor, Fuzzy Bish claimed that “Devon didn’t mean that much to me, but he was a Brother to you, and part of the club” well that says a lot about the people Bully surrounds himself with. Couldn’t even answer the question correctly.

Big Beard said “I did my job!”

Crazy Face Wes added “I don’t know what happened”

And finally to finish off a riveting informative investigation Anderson proclaimed “It it, what it is”.

Well, case closed I guess.

Bully however didn’t blink an eye, going back to the well of Devon always being a loser, a co-star and a side-kick. So that’s great, and in turn Bully patched in Tito.

Anderson however was annoyed, due to the lack of a Vote, being a tightly knit group of idiots who keep Bully in power. Either way, the friction between Bully and VP Anderson, not to mention the rest of the club is obviously going in the direction of perhaps Anderson taking over as President and moving on to better things.

It’s the whole Jax / Clay relationship, only without years of story, real emotion… and murder.

You could also make an argument for interesting characters, biker gang that uses bikes and that little thing I forget the phrasing for… I think.. oh yeah that’s right… I don’t care.

Kazarian vs. Jeff Hardy – BFG Series  

Hey everyone it’s “MUST WIN THURSDAY!” except for the part where you get another chance to win next week.

Also, it is bugging me that Jeff is sort of in the top running’s… yet he’s barely being used of late. He just pops up, and it’s like they’re keeping him there just for the fact that if they decide to put Jeff back in the Main Events, least they will get some more merchandise sales and good crowd reactions.

Kazarian has been a big part of the BFG Series from the get go, always being on the show, always having something to do. Kaz is the most under-rated guy on TNA’s roster in my opinion. So it’s sort of irritating to see Jeff jump to the “Final Four.. almost” just because he’s Jeff Hardy.

I still really like Jeff obviously, but it’s like they don’t know how to use him, so he’s just a “ratings draw” and keep him there just in case they need that boost. Whereas Kaz would be a risky, different, unique approach. I don’t expect Kazarian to win big, but if Sabin can, then why the hell not?

Still, they both put on a good match to kick off the show, even if the “Wrestling Logic” of the Figure-Four Leg-Lock didn’t apply. Normally if the hold is reversed the pressure switches to the other guy, aside from in this case, where it made no difference.

Also Jeff was back to his skin-tight ski top again, there is a big difference between that, and his tank top armband look, and his credibility shoots up on the latter. Either way, Jeff took the win and the points and moved up to the Final Four in the BFG Series.

Gail Kim vs. ODB – 2 out of 3 Falls – #1 Contenders Match

 

It was quite obvious they wanted to move ODB into the position Taryn Terrell would have been in, if she didn’t fall pregnant. Though it does seem strange to have Gail Kim to be the one to put everyone over. I suppose she has been used in the title picture a lot. But still.

Also, it’s nice to see different Match Stipulations for the Knockouts, but part of me always liked the “potential” in 2 out of 3 Falls matches, but the recent ones just seem to be a by the numbers.

Usually the Heel will win the first fall, the Face will struggle, probably pull off an upset really quickly after the first fall, and then wind up winning after building back some momentum, or another quick victory (roll-up).

It makes me think, why doesn’t TNA actually do some type of “BIG MATCH”. Like an Hour Long Iron-Man match. A Falls Count Anywhere that has a big spot, like someone jumping off something really high, or an old fashioned crazy happening in the back.

They could do something with their Wrestlers that was “Must See”. Yet they seem to play it safe these days. I for one would love a really good Match Stipulation, maybe not for Bound for Glory itself, the whole privilege of that is to Wrestle in a traditional Wrestling Match for the Belt. But a rematch shortly after with some kind of Stipulation, that would be good.

Either way, ODB landed on her Knee “badly” and that led to Gail “picking it apart” and applied the dreaded “Texas Shooter” or “Sharp Leaf”… the latter would be better suited.

It’s like the “Tickling Stick” or “Pillow Slam”.

Gail picked up the first fall with a Submission win, ODB was down and injured, and what do you know, she caught Gail with a roll-up from another Submission Attempt and won the second fall. ODB then randomly applied “some sort of Submission???” and won the match. Why is it ODB with an “injured” knee was able to battle a submission longer than Gail Kim who had no “injured limbs” and tapped out pretty much straight after the hold was applied.

Why is it that a 2 out of 3 falls match makes it seem like Wrestlers can win and lose matches much quicker than if it were a normal singles match. It’s like the whole “Battle Royal”, throwing people out of the ring is stupidly easy, half of the time they do it themselves, add the stipulation it’s a Battle Royal, and it’s the most difficult thing in the world. It would be easier to pin them from the “Pillow Slam” than get them anywhere close to the top rope. Why don’t they just throw them over the ropes like they’d normally do, why do they feel the need to try and grope lift them, one leg at a time over the ropes. I know why, but like… logically, it makes no sense.

I like Sense!

So Velvet Sky is back, normally I wouldn’t have even written this down, because you know. She walked around, the Camera man zoomed in on her “Chest Region” and she spoke a load of crap not worth the ink in my pen. But, she was asked about missing the Hardcore Justice tapings, and she said she had an “personal” issue to attend to. But they played on the whole Chris Sabin losing his belt thing.

That’s right, Chris Sabin and Velvet Sky have been dating for many years… yup.

Still, this is either a clever work around for a real problem Velvet had, or this whole “I hope she’s okay” lark that generated online, was just TNA plotting something. It’s interesting, because as much as they make errors, they are rather good at blending some of the lines between Wrestling and the real world… of the internet…. the creepy world.

Samoa Joe, Rampage Jackson and Sting from the Main Event Mafia made their way to the ring. Apparently Magnus had issues making the tapings due to his passport / visa. It’s not that interesting of a story.

Rampage took the time to once again promote his MMA fight, but in a “I’m not going to wait to our fight”, whilst clearly plugging they are going to fight, and also what day it is. So that was convincing.

Sting Woo’d for AJ, not sure when that became a Compliment….

Card Passed

AJ made his way to the ring with his new terrible mix of “Evil Ways” and his old Theme. Surely they could find a better way of mixing the two? Perhaps give him a new theme that plays on both. Perhaps stick to one and not try and find a balance. I was hoping AJ would come out and be more of a “I didn’t do this for you” and still stick to being a Dark type of Character. Instead they went with a “Respectful, Untrusting, Heavily Scripted, Rebelliousness” angle.

Who ever heard of the phrase “don’t put all of your eggs in one basket”.

So AJ was “I don’t trust you!” but “Thank you for your kind words” all at the same time. It was a horrible mash up. Then they made it worse by trying to get AJ to be yet again deliver TNA’s “pipe bomb” moment. AJ had true things to say, he has carried the company, he has been there to pick up after their terrible mistakes, and telling Dixie Carter that he deserves better.

There was a lot of truth in what he had to say, but of course, it just reeked of heavily scripted material, where they tried too hard to make AJ come across as likeable, but in a lonesome, yet poorly treated manor.

At least they didn’t have come out and pretend nothing happened, and just be like his old self. They are at least trying to keep his “Dark” character thing, it’s just a shame they had to change it back so quickly. This is feels so much less natural, than having him just be by himself. Surely AJ could have come out, beaten Devon, and still showed that he didn’t care about the Main Event Mafia, and didn’t need to have his old music back. He could have just been out to get rid of someone from The Aces and Eights, and left it at that.

Card Job

 

 

Bobby Roode vs. AJ Styles – BFG Series

 

I do like that the landscape of the BFG Series has changed from the direction it seemed to be heading. But it would feel so much nicer if it didn’t seem so blatantly obvious they don’t know what is best to do for their biggest PPV.

Personally, AJ Styles (full on Dark Character) vs. Bully Ray would have been great. I like Magnus, I don’t want him to win. I really like that Bobby Roode has come back in full force, I think Roode in the Main Event would be great, but would they put him against Bully? Heel on Heel?

Aries vs. Bully would be great. Hardy vs. Bully would just be because they didn’t know what else to do, but that would be the worst outcome.

AJ and Roode had a great match, AJ’s Moonsault from the Ramp, to Roode’s impressive SpineBuster, but it was AJ who counted into a Pinning Victory and came up just short to make the Final Four.

Last year AJ quickly racked up the points too, but I feel confident AJ will be in the Final Four after next week’s match.

 

 

Christopher Daniels vs. Austin Aries – BFG Series

 

In all honesty, I was surprised that AJ and Roode didn’t have the Main Event. But I do think they are pushing Aries currently, and whereas AJ Styles is going back into semi Face – no idea where he is type of character. Aries is being pushed as the “Lone Wolf” which AJ was before.

I do feel that Aries could win the Series, and he will be my pick if AJ doesn’t pick up the last points next week. Still, Aries and Daniels not only had the best match on the card, but one of the matches I intend to re-watch for my contenders of Match of the Year.

It’s true, Christopher Daniels is a great Wrestler, and since Bad Influence has taken off, and he’s been less serious and “Fallen Angel” like, he has become a fantastic personality on the show too.

He and Aries tore it down, and it just goes to show that put anyone in the ring with Austin Aries, and you will have a fantastic match.

The finish came with Daniels running the Ropes, only to be followed by Aries who lands his devastating Running Drop Kick on Daniels full spring back momentum, and then drops him with the Brain Buster and picks up the Win, putting Aries, Magnus, Roode and Hardy in the Top Four of the BFG Series… so far.

Hulk Hogan made his “long awaited” return to Impact, after some “Bolshoi” story of him being in Meetings for over a Month worth of Television.

Hogan drew a huge reaction and dropped the news of next week’s 12 Man Gauntlet Match for the last 20Points in the BFG Series. It’s a shot for someone else to jump into the Final Four and someone to drop down, or for the current Final Four to move to the top position and pick their No Surrender opponent.

My guess is AJ Styles moves up, Jeff drops out.

Bully Ray then crashes the segment, Hogan throws him some “magical” divorce papers, Brooke gets to leave on a happy ever after note, Bully brings out Tessmacher. Then Hogan says at No Surrender Bully must defend the World Championship against one of The Aces and Eights members.

And then Hogan makes his normal Blunder and announces that next week Bully is defending the Belt against Sting. Which isn’t true… I don’t think.

So this is where we stand, Hogan is getting a lot of Heat on him currently, and though I am a big fan of Hogan, and Bischoff, it does go to say, they have always had a lot of bad rep. People said since day one, get them out of TNA. And with everything that’s happened to TNA of recent, not to mention Hogan and Bischoff sitting back saying what “we would do” to help TNA, they have both apparently had a Creative Input, and not done anything. I think it is time to get rid of Hogan, and Bischoff. And forget bringing in new guys just yet, and focus on re-building what made TNA great. AJ Styles – World Champion, that fixes a lot of things. Get a great Tag-Team Roster going, bring the X-Division front and centre, stock up on the Knockouts, and put on great Wrestling, with daring Television and crazy characters. Forget Gut Check, forget Bootcamp, forget MMA, forget bringing in people for no reason, give the guys who want to build TNA the money they deserve. And fire the people who do very little and would leave if they had a better offer.

Seems fair right?

Till then.

Dan.

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

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The Jobber Blogger #62 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 8/8/13

The Jobber Blogger TNA And The Infamous Informer WWE

August 12, 2013 by DiVineDiablo

Jobber Blogger logo2

Well well well, if it isn’t some crazy Wrestling fans, for some reason Reading my ramblings of the latest edition of Impact Wrestling.

I do often wonder if I didn’t write about this in such a derogative tone that more people might read it? Of course that doesn’t make any logical sense, because if people don’t least attempt to read it in the first place, then they wouldn’t know how derogative it is. Also for what it’s worth, I happen to think my Writing is Superb!

Ahh, so egotistical ramblings are more likely to put people off than me just saying negative comments. Don’t you hate it when you’re typing and you just see this Sea of Red spelling corrections, it’s like why do you even bother to try and learn to spell. Because is why!

Okay, so this might be a little late, I would apologise, but I don’t believe in the word Sorry or the actions of which an apology is presented. I will however explain that The Jobber Blogger has been on the Travels, and as much as I would like to tell you it was a Wrestling Related trip, with interviews and career building meetings, it was in fact just a trip to the seaside.

Speaking of just a trip to the Seaside, Impact offers up “Just an episode”… nothing special, but it does have a few highlights that make my Fingers like Danger to Spider-man! Oh Yes! I can use this material!

Game On OddFather

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TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 8/8/13

Part of me actually likes the Direction of Taz of late, of course nothing actually explains where he was the last few weeks. But all we know is that he was somewhere and last week Hogan was so annoyed at him, he didn’t let him in the building. A whole week later, he’s fine with Taz returning to duty. Though of course, perhaps he didn’t have a choice, because Taz just called the shots. Which is good, it’s the first time in a long time that Taz has been relevant to what is happening, even his “Heel Turn” to the Aces and Eights wasn’t capitalised on.

Impact opened to Taz, Bully and Anderson intimidating Mike Tenay, with Taz telling him to get out of the way and he is going to show him how a Real Announcer works.

Bully Ray, Taz and Anderson from The Aces and Eights kick off the show, with Taz and Anderson making their way to the Announce Table, and Bully yelling over Taz’s queue to actually talk to JB. It was a whole mess of bad timing and pleasant banter! Pleasant in the sense of it being entertaining, the banter was actually a mixture of violent threats and possible sexual insinuations.

Bully took the opportunity to explain why he was in such a bad mood, Number One, Tito Ortiz, well what a coincidence, it seems Tito put every Wrestling fan in a Bad Mood just by turning up. What a great way to kick off a career in Professional Wrestling “let down from the first second” it should be his Slogan. For some reason Bully referred to him as Blondie? I’m not sure if he’s something I’m not… but the guy looks pretty bald to me.

One of the other reasons Bully is so pissed off, is Chris Sabin, and again, I whole heartedly agree, Sabin is annoying the hell out of me. Some people just aren’t meant to be Champion. I fully feel this was a “X-Division / Spike the Ratings / Comeback Hype” move that they squeezed in for some much needed Viewership Numbers. I could be entirely wrong…. I really hope I’m not.

For someone who gets called “Kid, Boy” and other insulting slang because he’s Small, and he uses that as his “Motivation” to battle against the big guys, the “Bully’s”. Well Sabin contradicts that very attitude when his attitude is so annoyingly childish. “Bully, you’re so full of crap, you’re eyes are brown and you’re breath smells”. Really? That’s our World Heavyweight Champion?

Sabin poo Bully

Next he will be sticking notes to your back and running off giggling.

Not to mention his ability to just blow so much Hot Air he diminishes his own credibility is astounding to watch. My God, does he represent the typical “By the Numbers Promo” he just has a Mono Tone and rambles off the good ol Check List of points, “I can beat you, I believe in myself, I will beat you again in our next match”.

This is why Bully is so good, he’s much better when you’re not tying him into stupid “realism” story lines, like being Married to Brooke, but when you let Bully be Bully, you believe what he is saying. He doesn’t just rattle out a loud of Scripted “points” he will be a Character, he has a Personality. The very fact Sabin’s whole run of being Champion is him literally Thanking the Main Event Mafia, because he WOULDNT HAVE WON otherwise. His credibility is based on him cheating to win, with the help of 5 other guys, because on his own, he got his Ass Kicked. He prides himself on that logic. That’s terrible…. beyond terrible. For everything he supposedly strives to prove himself against and over, he diminishes it all by openly telling everyone he wouldn’t have got it done by himself.

Well, least they didn’t have a “Sit by a Desk” type of Contract Signing, and Brooke Hogan simply Quoted an e-mail from Hulk. Either way, Bully didn’t read his contract when he fought Chris Sabin, as Bully apparently signed a Contract that if he cashes in his Rematch Clause, and looses, he will never Wrestle for the World Championship again. Now yes, he has the whole “Aces and Eights” thing that would force management to write in a clause like this. But, on the flip side, Bully didn’t need to fight Sabin, and or want to, Sabin is the one who took the gamble to fight him, so surely it should have been Sabin with everything to lose, and everything to gain. Not everything to gain, nothing to lose and Bully lucks out regardless of what happens. Not to mention Hogan could of fired him, or stripped the belt from him, or booked him in many, many Championship matches, but he didn’t, he didn’t do a damn thing. So whose fault is that.

The only upside is that means chances are the belt will go back to Bully. I honestly would love Bully to win cleanly, by just beating the hell out of Sabin in a brutal match, sure have Sabin put up a fight, more of a fight than he did when he won the belt. But to actually have Bully win, because he is big, tough, intimidating, and World Championship material. Though I would gladly settle for anything that puts the belt back on Bully.

Jeff Hardy vs. Samoa Joe – BFG Series

 In the first of the “Audience” Voted BFG Match Up’s, Jeff and Joe battle it out, with Anderson still on Commentary.

It really is building to the point that I don’t care about this Faction war anymore, but I hate The Main Event Mafia… a lot. And with Taz stepping up, not to mention Anderson’s new role in the Club, I am starting to just see more and more opportunities for The Aces and Eights to be a bigger force than they are.

If Joe wasn’t in the MEM, then I really do wonder where he would be in this whole Series. Jeff is probably one of the top paid and top Superstars on the Roster, yet it feels like they have nothing for him of late. I highly doubt he will win the series, so I don’t think he will be jumping into the Main Events again for a while. Which either means he will get back into the Aces and Eights feud, or he will just find some random grudge. And hopefully something that is better than Kurt Angles “I don’t like the fact my son puts socks on his arms” motivation of a few years back.

The match came to a close with Anderson simply standing up, Joe looking at him, and Jeff rolling up Joe for the win. It’s a wonder Joe made it to the Second on the leader board really.

 Magnus vs. Anderson – BFG Series

It’s strange, but Anderson never really draws out much “Awesome” from his actual in-ring efforts. Well aside from when he did the Senton Dive and completely missed.

 

I kind of find the same can be said about Magnus, yes they’re both good. But Anderson is most entertaining in the ring when he can be an idiot, and that’s better presented when he has more of a “Storyline” going outside of the ring, where he can ramble on the mic and do his little gestures.

Magnus on the other hand is impressive in the ring, but he’s not exactly a Bobby Roode or Austin Aries, AJ Styles, etc etc.

Though Anderson did throw himself out of the ring head first into the Announce table, which was a highlight. And of course Magnus’ collision with the Ring-Steps which put a big mark on his back. But the best part about this match up, was Bobby Roode’s involvement.

Roode randomly attacked Anderson with a Chair, which caused Magnus to be Disqualified. Of course that also means that the rule book of the Bound for Glory series is a little stupid. Surely there is a limit of how much you can get other people DQ’d, rather than doing something yourself as a competitor to cause the disqualification.

But with Roode’s involvement, Magnus drops 10Points in the series.

So the part everyone was looking forward to, right? Tito Ortiz – the “Huntington Beach Bad Boy” well… he doesn’t look like a Bad Boy anymore?

Tito bad boy

Hey, I’m not judging, I’m sure he’s awesome at what he does. But he does is not what TNA offers. And all of those whom love Tito and have followed his work, well guess what… I said it last week, and I’ll say it again, that’s not this audience.

In what was a good move, they didn’t let Tito actually say anything, and no that’s because of “building the hype” it’s because I’m sure he’d suck on the mic. So instead we get a repeat, almost exactly, with Kurt Angle coming out to get in the face of Tito.

Angle takes this time to blab on about how this is his Ring, and that Tito must respect that and get out of his way. Okay, so when Rampage Jackson signed, he’s a hot talent in MMA, he’s been in the new A-Team Movie, it made headline news, he goes face to face with Kurt Angle, it was exciting, if not a little irrelevant. Everything that was good about that encounter turned to crap when they made Rampage a follower of the Main Event Mafia. I just hope they actually let him turn on them, that could be interesting, currently, I couldn’t care less.

So why exactly bring in Tito Ortiz, to do the exact same thing once again, if they are going to continually bring in MMA guys, from the looks of it, Kurt Angle is the only guy they are going to use. Which means this is going to get continuously boring, not to mention completely un-needed.

Angle Shades 3

Bro Mans and Mickie James vs. James Storm, Gunner and ODB

Earlier on in the night Robbie E and Jesse talked about Bro’s before Hoe’s and that’s why they ditched Tara. At least she got a nice send off from the company huh?

The bigger news is that I completely forgot about the Tag-Team division, more to the point completely forgot about Storm and Gunner. Why is it we only have two Tag-Teams in the company, and that they’ve been “feuding” on the house shows, who knew this was still going on. Yet they wasted all of this air time on Tito Ortiz, think of the awesome Tag-Teams they could have brought in with that money.

There isn’t much to say about the match, only then that the ending was good, Storm landed one hell of a cool looking Last Call Super-kick to Jesse. Storm and Gunner then hit their “Double Team” move and took the win.

This is when Gail Kim got involved and attacked ODB, so I do expect them to square off at Hardcore Justice, for the hell of it.

Kazarian vs. Christopher Daniels – BFG Series

I did actually kind of resent the fact that they actually tried to build tension between these two going into this match. Though I thought they would come out of it just as much of a Team as they did going in. They had a little bit of a back and forth battle, before they both just climbed out of the ring and counted to 10, and celebrated the Double Count-Out which I believe gives them at least 1 point.

Bobby Roode then made yet another surprise appearance he brings Kazarian and Daniels in the ring with him as he talks about landscape of TNA with The Aces and Eights and Main Event Mafia, and there being strength in numbers. Which looks as if they have formed an alliance, promising one of those three will win. It will be nice to see either Aries join with them, or for Aries to break off completely and go on his own.

Bully Ray and Devon vs. Chris Sabin and Kurt Angle

Yes, I wrote down Sting to begin with, but they played the old double switch a roo, thing. Sting distracted them as Angle attacked from behind. Funny because of that was reversed and The Aces and Eights did it, they would get complained at.

The funnier thing is the mere sight of Sting and Sabin side by side, it just makes Sabin look even more inferior…. and I like Sabin… that’s how much he annoys me!

It’s been a while since we’ve really seen Devon do anything, and it’s another wasted opportunity, because he really suits the Aces and Eights attire and general theme of the faction. Not to mention he can get it done in the ring and is capable of being a force behind the scenes too.

Obviously this episode of Impact was taped before Angle went out Celebrating and got arrested… again…. again for Drink Driving. He has since decided to enter himself into Rehab, which means next week will be interesting. I actually hope Angle does the match and is in fact the one Pinned and “forced to leave TNA”. I honestly don’t see a better option, Angle has created a great storyline exit for himself.

Bully Hip-Tosses Sabin over the ropes to the Steel Ramp, Angle get’s the 3D, Bully then throws himself through a Table (as you do) and Sabin lands a Top-Rope Cross-Body and picks up the win.

I still think the fact Sabin can pin Bully, is dumb, specially with a Cross-Body, either way, it gives the edge to Sabin next week. But I really hope Bully tears him apart.

With the success of Destination-X being a free on TV PPV, Hardcore Justice next week should be great. Not to mention it actually has more going on than just a Main Event.

Till then!

Dan

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

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The Jobber Blogger #61 – TNA: Impact Wrestling 1/8/13

The Jobber Blogger TNA And The Infamous Informer WWE

↑ Grab this Headline Animator

 The Jobber Blogger #61 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING 1/8/13

 

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Welcome one, welcome all! Perhaps even welcome more, but not too many, I’m really anti-social. It’s why I want to be a Writer for a career, I can’t stand people. They have them… faces…greasy faces with bad manners and expect me to do things! Well up yours! You can praise me from a far whilst I scowl and swear at you from a distance…behind a curtain… under the cover…. reading Spider-man comics.

So isn’t life fun, I suddenly just realised I could use this platform to complain about my life… I say life, I have nothing to complain about, well aside from Work, I’m not a fan of my job. It’s finally hit the “I’m done with this” feeling, and by finally I mean as of a year ago. I’ve had at least 4 “ways to leave work” plans in motion all of which I was talked out of. All this “it’s easier to get a job from a job” lark, hey, you only live once, why waste so much of my life doing something I don’t like. Sure I get paid, not a lot, but it’s money, and that of course in turn feeds my Comic book thirst and video game cravings and random spending on things I probably don’t need. But alas, the final verdict is to just bite the bullet…. and quit. I can’t quit, I have too much pride, so I’ve sunk to theft to get fired.

Ahh, anyone who has read this before knows that I am joking… mostly… about the theft part at least. So I shall encourage you to Read On, mighty readers, you. Let your eyes be my audience and I shall steal your life with worthless ranting about Wrestling!

GAME ON!!!

(not used that in a long time!)

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TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 1/8/13

Speaking of worthless, this week’s TNA lived up to TNA’s own moniker or always having good ideas, but Terrible, TERRIBLE execution. It’s like they have the Good Cop, Bad Cop in management:

Good Cop – “So I have this awesome idea of this mystery guy sending in cryptic messages about coming to Impact next week, and no-one will know who it is, and it will build all this Internet Hype and we will have this Huge platform to do something awesome!”

Bad Cop – “Hey that’s a great idea… let’s make it so who debuts, No One Has Heard of!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! And get this, HE CANT EVEN WRESTLE!! MWHAHAHAHAH!!!! And he SUCKS!”

Good Cop – “errr….? okay?”

TNA! TNA! TNA! TNA!

godzilla_facepalm

I will save most of my rant for when I get to that part in the show, but aside from the Terrible ending, this show was solid.

We finally see Taz back, he does nothing but walk around outside yelling about how angry he is.

Don’t you hate it, when your sat with your arms apart and you just feel sweat dripping down your side.. it’s not even that hot.

Either way, Taz was banned from the Impact Zone because he “no-showed” the last two weeks for some reason. It’s stupid that it’s gotten this far, Taz could have been doing this when he first joined The Aces and Eights. I would like to see Taz used more than just an announcer, but who knows how this is going to play out. Though having him backstage as a “care free” interview personality could actually be rather interesting. Taz however was irate, and so angry, he called “Someone”…. that about sums up TNA’s fantastic writing.

Birthday Seat

Austin Aries kicks off the show by making his way to the ring, and this week he looks slightly better. He seems to like doing weird things with his facial hair, and weird things tend to just look… weird.

Though Aries has had a good few different looks over the years, so who is to say what is best?

Aries faces

Aries wanted to congratulate Chris Sabin (who the more I see as World Champ, the more I hate him) the only good thing about Sabin being the champion is that he can put on a great Main Event with Aries, and I for one would love to see that. And of course have Aries win the belt back, because he’s a fantastic World Champion. Sabin just isn’t at that level. But of course Aries’ main point was to discuss he winning the Bound For Glory series, and his big match tonight with AJ Styles.

I really liked the fact that Aries pointed out that for the first 10years of TNA, AJ Styles was the top guy, the best in the industry. And since A-Double has been back with TNA, he has been the most high profile performer.

And in typical Wrestling fashion, Roode crashes the segment.

Roode forgot my pants

Roode and Aries had an official “Break Up” with them both getting a little heated with one another, which works out fine as Roode is sick of being on a losing streak and declares “I’m going back to what won me the belt” and “people have forgotten what I am capable of”.

Of course I agree completely, Roode is the pinnacle of “World Champion Material” and for my money nobody has been a better World Champion in TNA since he had the belt, or even since AJ Styles last held it 3 and a half years ago.

Bobby Roode vs. Hernandez – BFG Series

Roode fell over

Is it bad that I enjoy the little “slip ups” it’s not in a “taking the piss” type of manor… it’s just really funny.

I still don’t know quite where to put Hernandez in all of this, I guess it’s kind of good that he is in the BFG Series and being used regularly. I do fully expect Chavo to turn on him eventually and that be a Grudge match at some point around Bound for Glory. But Hernandez is pretty good in the ring, but of course not as good as Bobby Roode.

They have a good back and forth match, Roode tried for the Cross-Face victory, but then went to his “what brought him to the dance” type of style (the very same style he still uses…) and landed a sneaky Low-Blow on Hernandez and Rolled him up holding the tights, but only getting a Two-Count. Roode proceeds to go and trash the outside area just as he did last week, and throws multiple chairs in the ring. Brian Hebner then removes the chairs as Roode uses a Beer Bottle and Smashes it over the head of Hernandez and gets the win.

I still find it funny when they sneakily use weapons that leave a distinct mess but the Ref plays it off as “meh, whatever”. Good ol’ Wrestling Logic!

Roode gets his first win in the Series and earns himself 7Points.

Manik cool

For the first time since we’ve seen TJ Perkins as the man behind “Suicide / Manik” I’ve been excited for the Character. And he actually pulled it off really well. Talking about how using this “Manik” Character and Mask created an identity to make a name for himself, when just being himself wasn’t enough. It was a little glimpse of a Dark Character turn that would see the good youthful TJ being drawn into the Manik character. Almost like a Superman / Rorschach where the Costume is their true identity, and the man beneath is the disguise.

Of course this segment was ruined by Chris Sabin pulling his “Sulky, I’ve been Slapped” face blabbing on and trying his best to cut a promo that sucked. I can’t even begin to explain how much I hate Sabin as World Champion. I used to love Sabin… now I can’t stand him!

Jay Bradley vs. Joseph Park (w/Eric Young) – BFG Series

So before the match the new partnership of EY and Park showed EY giving Park a gift to help him out in the ring. The gift was Amateur Wrestling style Head-Gear to protect Park from taking too many hits to the head / being busted open and losing control.

It’s interesting to think about, but seeing as pretty much everyone else (if not… everyone else) who has won Gut Check has recently been Fired, you have to think, if Bradley wasn’t a part of the BFG Series, would they have fired him too? I still like Bradley, but thus far, he isn’t exactly anything special. It’s a strange position for him to be in given his experience and development, not to mention the recent layoffs.

Bradley focus’ on Park’s head-gear and eventually removes it, setting him up for the “Boom-Stick” to which Park catches him with a Samoan Drop and picks up a victory and 7Points.

The Main Event Mafia have their own “Club House” variation set up in the back that is all fancy decorated, I guess it shows they are in touch with a more “classy, sophisticated… womanly… side?”

MEM feminine

Sting talks about that to take down The Aces and Eights, they need to make “Sacrifices” and are they all ready to make this potential Sacrifice, and make an offer to the Aces and Eights “They can’t refuse!” I am sick of hearing that saying too. But it’s not as bad as Rampage Jackson adding “No matter what they say, I came here to fight!” Who is he talking about? Why did anyone give him a line to say? This guy sucks so much!

I hate him nearly as much as I hate Sabin being World Champion. Why are you spending money on Rampage Jackson? How the hell did he get an Acting Job. Whatever “build up” he had when he first debuted is just gone now. He looks impressive, he could have worked quite well as an “Angle” but not a official part of the Roster.

Manik vs. Chris Sabin – Champion vs. Champion

If there is any good to be found in Sabin being World Champion, it’s that we get this match! Sabin and Manik put on a great opening set of moves, counters and reversals to “test the water”. But you know what this showed above anything else, the very same thing I said since “Suicide” came back… he is better than Sabin. And putting them against each other made a great match, but he is better than Sabin.

TNA’s saving grace is it’s “WRESTLING” part of their Roster, and Sabin and Manik led the way with a fantastic match, a match that for me goes into the category for Match of the Year.

There is little else I can say that will do it justice, just watch it if you haven’t seen it already.

Sabin connects with his “Hail Sabin” and picks up the win. Which is when Bully Ray attacks Sabin from behind. Now I have expected Manik to not help out Sabin, and in a way, he didn’t. He just so happened to get in the way and Bully turned his attention to Manik, which left Sabin an opening to fight back at Bully, and Bully to leave. But after the “what the hell are you doing?” storyline of Bully’s lawyer last week, it was better to actually have Bully be a Bully and just beat up the guy.

Earlier on in the night we saw a White – Hummer – Limo arrive, with everyone speculating that the #August1Warning was inside. Taz who was still rambling and wondering around outside decided to show the world who it was. And instead opened the door and just laughed. And we see there is a Laptop set up with the same Warning Videos being played.

Gail Kim vs. ODB

I keep making a note to mention this every week, but Gail Kim’s new mix of her music is really good! I always felt the original was a bit too drawn out and took a while to get going. They revamped the intro which goes straight into the Vocals, so it fits better. Good stuff!

So guess what, after nearly a year of Taryn Terrell being made the official Knockouts Referee after what… 10years of having the normal Ref’s refereeing the matches, and then Joey Ryan and ODB. We actually just go back to having the normal Ref’s again. Jee… that seems like a good idea, why did it take them this long and pretend like it was such a big deal.

Though I did think, since her feud with Taryn, Gail has been front and centre for taking some hefty damage. The Last Knockout Standing match, the Ladder Match, and now ODB throwing her around pretty damn rough. I do wonder if Gail is happy to take this sort of onslaught.

Either way the match was more of a brawl, Gail attempted the Figure 4 Leg-Lock on the outside / Turnbuckle, but ODB countered. They ended up brawling on the outside and eventually got Counted Out, and continued to Brawl, so this is not done yet. Perhaps it will continue to Hardcore Justice, and letting them raise the bar once more? I don’t know.

AJ Styles cut a little Promo, he has done this before, but AJ isn’t always great at Promo’s, and I seem to remember some of his more recent ones didn’t quite “work” as well. But however this one, he nailed it! AJ is still my pick for the BFG Series, I love this re-invention and as always, TNA can bring in who they want, but AJ Styles in the heart and soul and always will be the Face of TNA Wrestling, and if he isn’t front and centre, then you’re doing yourself a disservice.

The Aces and Eights are in the back sorting out their problems, with Bully handing all the Main Event Mafia problems to Anderson, and Bully will focus on getting the World Championship back from Sabin. Which is when Brooke makes an appearance telling Bully that next week’s Contract Signing will have some implications he won’t be happy with. And that a “Happy Wife is a Happy Life”

Brooke Hogan crazy face

Sums it up nicely?

Austin Aries vs. AJ Styles – BFG Series

A dream match, and it truly is, and was. Yes you can make all kinds of interesting matches out of these Wrestlers. But Aries vs. Styles is probably at the top. Though Aries vs. Kazarian I would love to see too.

They both had some hard hitting moments through-out the match, especially when Aries climbed the Top Rope and AJ Drop-Kicked him to the Floor. Though I did find the crowds “Come On, Beiber!” Chant to be rather amusing.

AJ attempted the Styles Clash on the Ramp which Aries countered into a Back-drop that sent AJ straight to the floor in a very painful looking manor. Aries then attempted his “Suicide Dive” through the Ropes to the Ring Steps like he did last week with Roode. But AJ Side stepped, sending Aries face first into the Steps.

Another match that will be a contender for Match of the Year, if it wasn’t for the ending.

AJ landed his Pelé on Aries which was a desperation move, and both of them falling to the floor, only Aries landed with his Arm on top of Styles, but he also moved Styles’ arm on top of himself. It looked really awkward as a finish. Either way apparently Aries got his Shoulder up just in time and took the Win. A dodgy finish to an otherwise Show Stealing match.

The Main Event Mafia make their way to the ring to close the show with an “Offer” to the Aces and Eights. Also:

Angle Shades 2

That never gets old. Though recent events might show that Angle isn’t in the best frame of mind of late, so it might explain his choice of Sun Glasses.

And come to think of it, maybe that explains what was going on a few weeks back?

Angle to Rehab

The Aces and Eights led by Anderson make their way to the ring to hear what the “Offer” is.

The Aces and Eights vs. The Main Event Mafia – 5 on 5 the one who gets Pinned / Submits must leave TNA for good. So this could be a way to get more Budget Cuts but tie it into a Story. Though time is against the Main Event Mafia for Angle is going to enter himself into Rehab. So either he is there now, or he could actually be the one to lose and “leave” TNA. Though for him to be entered into the Hall of Fame in a few months, the timing is all over the place.

Chances are a member of the Aces and Eights will lose, probably Garrett or Wes, or Knux… pretty much any of them aside from Anderson and Devon… but mainly Anderson. It’s an interesting idea, but it depends on who takes the fall, personally I want Rampage to turn on the Main Event Mafia, and probably take out Angle and Angle be the one to get pinned and disappear for a while.

Which is when the Lights go out in the Impact Zone, which is cool, so far so good right?

And then “MMA Legend” Tito Ortiz turns up.

So let’s put it this way, I know of the name, I don’t know who he is. But it appears that most people are not happy that he is in TNA. And this is my two-cents on the whole matter.

I get why TNA is doing this, having Stars from Celebrities to other Sporting Athletes is no strange carry on for Wrestling. From Mike Tyson to Mr. T to Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mickie Rourke, (David Arquette anyone?) there is a huge long list of “famous” people outside of the Sport to get involved. Spike TV runs Bellator MMA which is doing some big business for them, it follows Impact, so the mixing of both brands does business both ways and keeps Spike TV happy. UFC / MMA is the biggest Sport to have come out in the last few years, it’s reach is huge. It shares some Fans of both Sports and of course there is some huge cross over’s from the likes of Brock Lesnar to Dave Batista and even The Undertaker. So for TNA to bring in King Mo, Rampage Jackson (which did make headline main news) and now Tito Ortiz, I get that it sheds a bigger light on TNA. But here is the problem.

Most Hardcore MMA fans love the Sport because of what it is, and what it isn’t, is Wrestling. Sure they have Amateur Style Wrestling as part of the Mixed Martial Arts, but it’s not in the realm of Professional Wrestling, they are in no way the same thing. So a good portion of their Fan base and Audience don’t want to watch them try and be actors and do silly story lines and “pretend” fight. The bigger problem is just how Hardcore and Passionate the Wrestling fan base is, and it’s the true old school Wrestling fan base that is drawn to TNA, so you bring in guys who aren’t Wrestlers, and try and cash in on a bigger Audience, guess what… People Hate It!

To make matters worse you have just recently fired some top talent like a Doug Williams, Matt Morgan, Tara, Joey Ryan, Crimson and the list goes on and on, and you replace them with a higher paid Non Wrestler like Tito Ortiz…. guess what, People Hate It More!

TNA is what it is because it has the Very Best “Wrestling” Locker-Room in the industry. Now it doesn’t, because you dilute it with Celebrities and try and play it off as okay. I don’t care in the slightest about all of these MMA guys, let MMA be MMA, and don’t try and promote yourselves because of their success. This is the problem, TNA always, ALWAYS falls short, and it’s over dumb choices like this. If you debuted a Brand New Wrestler, who was impressive, that would have been awesome. If you had brought in a Talent people knew, that would have worked with the potential to be awesome. Even if you just brought back a Gut Check competitor, or even a recently fired employee, that would have worked. But instead you bring in this guy… you made a mockery of yourselves, and you ruined yet Another perfect opportunity to do something big and meaningful. All you did was appeal to a certain Audience, and it’s not your own Wrestling Audience, no you pissed them off.

So let’s get to what actually happened, Tito walked out with a Stupid expression on his face and stood there for the best part of 5 Minutes as the Camera cut back and forth from his Stupid Expression to the Wrestlers pretending to be “Shocked”. It Sucked… a lot.

However Anderson did save the day as they cut from Tito’s Stupid Expression to Anderson who was doing this:

Tito who

I think Anderson speaks for us all.

So a major Blunder yet again by TNA, and if TNA are going to be remembered by anything, it would be for the amount of times they themselves created fantastic opportunities, then shat all over them.

Aces and Eights

Gut Check

August 1

Sting (no one saved me)

AJ Styles

The list goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

One day.

Till then,

 Dan

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

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