Tag Archives: Brock Lesner

Monday Night Raw #1258, July 3 , 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

So the Slammiversary popped off! and NEW! Unified TNA Champion (or whatever it’s called) ALBERTO EL PATRON! There he is running down the WWE in the middle of the ring… after all they did for you Bertie, if it wasn’t for them, you wouldn’t be f**k!n Paige. Ungrateful sh!t!

GRANT BODY-P!

Unlucky Cody Rhodes, you didn’t quite make history by holding both the ROH & IWGP titles… Good thing you didn’t, because my fellow JAMMS host and STC member Aydenn Wardle would have lost his sh!t and would have blew his load faster than Chicago bussin into Iesha in Poetic Justice.

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RAW 1258! We don’t sing Great Balls Of Fire over here?!!!! We sing FYYYREEE!! from Busta Rhymes!!!

Steph Raw

Right – I got half a pack of lockets, a hot drink of lemon and honey, plus a pack of jaffa cakes. Yes your Infamous Informer is not very well, and he doesn’t have Penny to sing him soft kitty… however this is Monday Night Raw, we ain’t tryna sleep!

Oh dear, my stream is f**k!n up! Maybe I’m not supposed to watch the World Wrestling Federation Live! I juts missed 15 minutes of this sh!t…

By the sounds of it, I missed Enzo talk sh!t in the ring for that long, and then ambush Big Cass from behind. Ah well!!! Onto Sasha sexy @$$ and Bayley potato @$$!

I know you’re the boss lady, but even you cannot contend with Alexa Blitch and the Bottom and the Breasts Nia Jax!

“This is MY division Sasha!” OH HELL NO! I changed my mind – Sasha – BEAT THAT B!TCH @$$! YES! A BANK STATEMENT! ALEXA BLITCH TAPPING OUT! BEEEEAAAATCH!!!!!

An exclusive interview with Brock and Joe? On the go home show before the PPV? You cannot be serious right now! THAT AIN’T HAPPENING!

Is this thing with Naom Dar/Cedric Alexander/Alicia Fox sh!t still going on??? I only expect this from Hollyoaks! Oh yeah – it’s a ‘male soap opera isn’t it??? Aww shucks…

Sheeeeeeet! Heath Slater been in the WWE game for 8 years! And he never won a title? Last time I check – he won the tag titles with Rhyno! Oh he means a singles title…

Miz says there will be no title matches… YES! KURK ANGLE will have something to say about that!

SERIOUSLY! Miz talking to Kurt Angle like that? This dude got no manners!!!! Heath Slater can fight Miz for the title NOW! If Miz holds down the title (which I think he will because he’s a b!tch hiding behind Curtis Axel & Bo Dallas) then he got Dean Ambrose to deal with at the Great Balls Of Fire joint!

The question remains – who thought up that PPV Title and who got that sh!t approved? Was it one of Vincent Kennedy’s favourite tunes of all time? If that was the case I wanna have my own wrestling promotion! I would call my PPVs ‘Da Mystery Of Chessboxing’… ‘House Of Flying Daggers’, ‘Assassination Day’, ‘Winter Warz’, ‘Bring The Pain’, ‘Brooklyn Zoo’, ‘4th Chamber’… should I go on????

GRANT BODY-P!

Come on Slater!!! WHUPP HIS @$$!!! THINK OF THE KIDS!!!! THE KIDDDDDSSSSS!!! YOU GOTTA PAY THAT CHILD SUPPORT MUTHAF***A!

Damnit! His blodclart Miztourage! Miz has always been a b!tch!

Did you hear that? John Cena advertising Tapout Body Sprays? Talking about feeding trolls and stopping internet warriors?? Here’s looking at you retarded 434 fools!

OH Sh!t – Titus may have a slogan for Apollo Crews – Crews Can’t Loose! But we talking BRAUN here! And Apollo just had a daughter! Apollo must protect her from monsters! They are everywhere! And above all else – keep her OFF THE POLE!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Great Balls Of fire

A 30- minute iron man tag team match between Sheamus/Cesaro & the Hardy Boyz at the Great Balls of Fire joint? WHOA! Sounds like WWE have been watching the Slammiversary and That G1 thing lately and got their study on!

Don’t you think that’s f**ked up people? Big Big Great Balls of Fire joint about to pop off and Finn Balor is not even fixed up in a match? But Raw made sure wrestling purists got their jerk on as he battles Cesaro here!

Wait a second, maybe he IS in a match at the PPV! I forgot about this Elias Samson dude… is that a bad thing?!

YES Wrestling fools don’t have a heart attack – Brock Lesnar IS SPEAKING TO SAMOA JOE! He is the best of the best of the best! You think Paul Heyman gonna say something stupid?

Hey Brock is laughing at this whole thing! He hasn’t gotta look for Joe! Joe gotta look for him!

Joe is on some – LET’S GO CHAMP! I like this! Considering it’s the go home show!

Joe is bex!!! Brock isn’t! You would think it’s the other way around! This is great!

Just when I thought Braun was getting better competition in Apollo Crews! For a minute Crews was killing Strowman! But Strowman hit the running powerslam, 1, 2 and – WAIT! He picked Crews head up! UH-OH!!!! DOUBLE R GET DOWN HERE FAST! THIS IS INJUSTICE!grant-body-p

He just dropped a second running powerslam! took his head off the canvas before the 3 and licked his forehead! OH MY GOD That’s some Wyatt sh!t right there!

After 3 Running Powerslams, it’s over… hey Crews… it could have been worse you feel me?

He just dashed Crews in the ambulance and told the driver to get going! But the driver nah move!

It’s DOUBLE R!!!! DUNA! DUNA! DUNA! DUNN-DUNN! How can you guys NOT LIKE this dude? YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!

UUUUUUOOOOOOOOAHHHHH! Spear Strowman off the stage into tables – BLAOW!!!!! But how is he gonna drag that carcass into the ambulance? That’s what I wanna know!

Strowman still on his feet! BLODCLART!

Yo, I watched Wonder Woman recently. That Gal Gadot though! OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Some lucky muthaf****a married her quicktime! She is FLIRT ON SIGHT I’m telling you! Watch STC’s Edd Mulhall… he’s on the case… he knows where all the naked pics is at! Personally, I don’t think Gal Gadot got any naked pics… I think Edd uses photoshop and is very efficient at it!

GRANT BODY-P!

Wonder Woman

 

JAMMS

Monday Night Raw #1241, March 6, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Suddenly CM Princess Peach B!tch losing wasn’t so bad now does it?

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news: Talking of CM Princess Peach B!tch, WWE RAW is in Chicago… oh boy… after Double R’s win over Strowman at the Fast Lane joint and Goldberg now the new World Wrestling Federation Champion, the fans are up in arms (apart from me, because I always win) But this time even I, the Infamous Informer fears for WWE’s safety… I seriously think WWE should turn back and go to Green Bay Wisconsin or something… it’s like that film ‘The Grey’ I watched at my moms the other night… the wolves pretty much took out an entire squad. That’s the Chicago Fans, all for their saviour, CM Princess Peach B!tch!

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RAW 1241! GOD BLESS JOJO!

13,135 CM Princess Peach B!tch worshippers welcoming  Jericho in the building!

Can you believe it why????? Jericho wants to know why… I told you why three frigging weeks ago!

Jericho was ready to cuss bad words! He might as well!

If Jericho was not his best friend? So who is Owen’s best friend? A big mac?

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m actually surprised the Chicago crowd are cheering Goldberg… come on internet fans – WWE can’t edit out live chants!

The Friends of Jericho! Cheer him on maaaaaaan!!!!! They are down with Jericho Vs Owens at the big BIG WrestleMania! US TITLE ON THE LINE!

…and the fight is on! Oh no Samoa Joe TEEEEEEEF!!!! Sami Zayn is on his way! Maybe that rumor is true about that dastardly Triple Teef is putting together on some power trip sh!t!

Let me tell you something – I am yawning crazy here, I actually have a job interview in the morning, so RAW best come through because bwoy!!!!!

Er – what? Sami Zayn Vs Kevin Owens AGAIN? Oh for f**ks sake… I’m grabbing a pudding… you want some? No? Ok more for me!

…and here we go with the CM P**k chants during a cruiserweight match involving Neville… I swear I hate that muthaf***a… WHO THE F**K IS HE? FOH!

Crowd causing trouble chanting for Austin Aries… do they know something I don’t?

Neville says there is no one on his level! Hmmm… so this is the jump off for WrestleMania? Neville all up in Aries face and he dropped Neville with a mean clothesline! well The Grant says – unless there is some ladder match for the tag team titles at the big BIG WrestleMania… not every muthaf***a is gonna get paid!

Here he comes… the NEW! World Wrestling Federation Champion!!! If you don’t like that sh!t – gimme your card and get the f**k outta here!!!

“This title belongs to YOU”! WHOA! Go ahead – complain on the internet – YOU THE WRESTLING FANS ARE THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION!

Oh my god! That didn’t take long for Brock to come out, F5 Goldberg and regard him as Brock’s B!tch!

This wrestling sh!t is boring me – admittedly I’m waiting for Roman and Strowman to do their thing hoping that the gong will hit , in the meantime let’s give it up for JoJo shall we? even Double R himself knows!

JOJO RR

If a woman’s behind is flatter than JoJo… IT’S NOT A BEHIND! Some of you jabronies need to know what a BACKSIDE IS!

Big ups to Rick Rude! HIM TOO RUDE!!!! Newest inductee in the Hall Of Fame! This class is crazy!!!!

Wait a minute… why does Stephanie look bex and want Foley to go into her office? He didn’t do anything wrong did he? Oh yeah – He booked Sami Zayn Vs Kevin Owens again didn’t he? Oh yes – he’s in trouble!

Introducing the New Day Popcycle! I wished they debuted the ice cream bars in Chicago! But the crowd have been quite behaved actually… maybe they were shook after Stephanie put them on blast last time…

Stephanie!.jpg

Watching Bayley buss a promo and I can see a dumb@$$ in a purple T-Shirt that looked too tight with his tongue hanging out like a retard! You can tell he can’t get any pu$$y!

GRANT BODY-P!

Who’s gonna be Bayley’s next opponent for the big BIG WrestleMania? Sasha Banks?! Sounds cool but what about the long-legged sexy @$$ Charlotte? What about The Bottom and the Breasts – Nia Jax?

Uh-Oh – Stephanie’s sexy @$$ is out here and the CM P**k chants started! Stephanie grant-body-pshut them down again! Chanting for a LOOSER!!!!! The crowd is losing this big time! Tried to drown out Stephanie’s voice! And epic failed!

There is an issue with Sasha the Boss and Stephanie the boss! I so want Sasha and Stephanie to clash – the storyline would be epic!

Check it out – if Sasha beats Bayley -it is a triple threat match at WrestleMania for the women’s title. However – If Sasha loses – It’s Bayley Vs Charlotte… now, in this case, I want Sasha to LOSE. I wanna see Stephanie and Sasha to destroy each other!

Damnit! Charlotte tried to teef – but it backfired and Sasha advances to big BIG WrestleMania! BLAST!

Imagine that – Seth Rollins is on that rehab to get back to big BIG WrestleMania and he has the dastardly Triple Teef poster as incentive and motivation!

Now they restarted the vignettes for ‘Emma’ coming soon… Aaaah woman just take it out and start!

GRANT BODY-P!

Here we go!!! Braun and Double R gonna clash!!! Wait for the gong!!! PLEASE!

AAAAAAH SH!T!!!! But check it – Braun, the monster among men has sense – he LEFT THE RING!

But not Double R… who claims it’s his yard… Undertaker takes one look at the sign. CHOKESLAMS DOUBLE R TO HELL!

It’s the match I didn’t wanna see… but Double R… you dealing with the best that ever did it now… this is it – if Undertaker gives you props and the crowd still doesn’t accept you… I feel bad for you son!

Dedicated to Stephanie McMahon… this tune is for you girl! SHUT EM DOWN!!!!(Remind me to tweet you…)

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1223, October 31, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

…and, NEW! WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION WOMEN’S CHAMPION, CHARLOTTE FLAIR!

sasha-ass

AAAH SHIIIIIIIIIIIID!!!! Can’t lie, my jaw dropped, and not because Sasha’s @$$ was getting exposed in that cell for all you saddos to get your hardon over…

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news… how the backside does a jabroni from Cambridge come all the way down to Walsall and farce up himself with an interview with Scott Hall? Taking up mine and the Express & Star’s time? No one invited his b!tch @$$. There WILL be the very short interview with myself and the bad guy this weekend on STC From The UK – BDSIR NETWORK – The Best Damn Show In Radio!

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RAW 1223! It’s Halloween! The one night in the year where Paige looks normal. But we ain’t gonna see that stupid b!tch! GRANT BODY-P!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

No f**k!n about! Goldberg is coming out NOW!!!!

They booing Brock Lesnar now though! and Heyman is straight up shutting this promo down!

Goldberg looks like he wants to spear Heyman all the way to hell!

Heyman still throwing shots at Undertaker’s streak! Damnit!

NO! BROCK IS HERE???? Aaaaah look at Heyman laughing… will he be laughing in a hospital facility nearby?

No Brock… but Rusev???? OH BOY… he’s gonna be NEXT!!!!

NO! I KNOW RUSEV DID NOT TRY TO LICK DOWN GOLDBERG?!!!!!!!!!!

JACKHAMMER TO RUSEV – BLAOW!!!!

…AND A SPEAR TO HEYMAN – BLAOW!!!!!! LAWWWWD HAVE MERCY!!!!!!

What the rarse is Byron Saxton and Corey Greaves wearing?????? The Infamous Informer is not down with this Halloween sheeeeeeeet! And now Enzo is fighting one o the members of the Balding club in a trick or street fight match???? Oh hell to the no! Actually it might be jokes I won’t knock it!

Enzo Amore looks even more of an idiot in that Toy Story sheeeeeeet! I am the grinch of Halloween… if that makes any sense!

The Balding Club just got f**ked up by 35 pumpkins…wow… the WWE have truly f**ked up what was meant to be the baddest stable in New Japan Pro Wrestling history..Yo Vincent Kennedy – why you hate on these guys? What did they do to deserve this????

Meanwhile… they called the ambulance to pick up Paul Heyman… I have a question – will Dr. Goldberg visit him and hit him over the head with a bed pan and stick  dutty big needle up his @$$????

GRANT BODY-P!

Now with Kendrick as the new World Wrestling Federation Cruiserweight Champion we should get some joke now…told you guys – quality wrestling matches is NOT ENOUGH!

TJ Perkins: THE GRANT SAYS THIS TO YOU: If Kendrick tries to teef, simply pause the game, enter UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, Y,B,X,A.You should hear the ring bell if you did it right. Then TJ Perkins, you should have infinite lives! Now say ‘Thank you GamesMaster’!

GRANT BODY-P!

Aaaaah sh!t TJ Perkins bex because Kendrick walked out the match! So he attempts to break his legs! Talk about salty! That’s like sending hate mail online!

Braun Strowman seeks better competition! He finally gonna get it! Winner of the battle royal will be in Team Raw against Team Smackdown at the Survivor Series! So he best win that muthaf***a!

WWE win whole heap of awards! Congratulations! Shame we the fans couldn’t see you get those awards….moving on!

Oh dear… Foley wasn’t feeling the antics of Kevin Owens and Jericho! They were ultimate teef! But the list is in Jericho’s hand! THIS IS NOT GOOD!

Oh that’s f**ked up! Foley’s career ended in Hartford Connecticut! And Jericho & Owens are letting Foley know about the GREAT TRIPLE H!!!

Foley admits to needing JeriKO for TEAM RAW, but also puts his trust in Mr RR himself, the man who wrestling sheep love to hate! The man the women want to drop squats on his d-

GRANT BODY-P!

HAHAHAHAHA! The crowd chanting Roman Sucks but Foley says ‘his wife loves him’!

Roman was gonna dress as a stupid idiot for Halloween but they didn’t have any Jericho costumes!GRANT BODY PHENOM

I thought Roman was going on the list! I thought we were all going on the list! Look what happen now! Roman fights Jericho for the World Wrestling Federation US Championship!

I don’t understand why everyone is rushing Titus O’Neill instead of Braun Strowman???? Foolish move if you ask me!

It’s down to Strowman and Sami Zayn? The crowd is behind Zayn but Vincent Kennedy is behind Strowman (PAUSE!)

Zayn tried! God damnit he tried! Team Raw only needs one more person in their team! They got Jericho, Owens, Braun, Roman, smart money says Mr Rollins!

The Smackdown team hasn’t assembled yet but going by the knowledge we have now – AJ Styles has gotta be in the team surely! I expect Ziggler to be in the team too! I think it’s safe to say that the titles may not be on the line at this PPV!

WHOA!!!!! THE NEW DAY HAVE DRESSED UP AS PAPA SHANGO, KAMA MUSTAFA AND THE GODFATHER! So wait, where the hos at? SORT IT OUT!!!!

They need to get a Francesca III too!

Wait a minute – didn’t we have this 6 man tag team cruiserweight match at the PPV? No No No I need the toilet… soon come…

Ok I’m back now… look who it is – it’s Miss sexy legs herself – Charlotte! 3-time champion already… she might hit 16 times before John Cena!!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m glad Charlotte called out every woman on Smackdown apart from my NAOMI… because she knows Naomi will BUSS HER ARSE!!!!!

Team RAW as far as the women ill be interesting… I mean, who they got? Charlotte, Bayley, Dana… and that’s it??????? No Paige, Sasha might make it still… hold on – NIA JAX… THAT BOTTOM…AND THE BREASTS!!!!! Let’s show appreciation to this sexy @$$ straight away!

nia_jax-0-0

Is it me or is Bayley stumbling on her promo?????

Talking of that BOTTOM…AND THE BREASTS!!!! Here she is! Nia Jax gonna destroy Bayley! Kill her…. KILL HER!!!!!!!!

Charlotte is right – THIS ISN’T NXT ANYMORE! This is the World Wrestling Federation! Where the big girls play!

I can see you guys looking at the Infamous Informer funny…. big girls need love too… and they got nothing to lose! They will give you the ride of your life! Sometimes those skinny gyal ain’t the one! You want that meat… nah mean!

GRANT BODY-P!

UH-OH! If Jericho defeats Roman Reigns, he’s gonna turn te US Title into the Canadian Title! Since my woman is Canadian… I know who I’m backing!

Should have known Kevin Owens was gonna teef… but could Rollins reunite with his former Shield bredrin??? Oh my days yes he has!!!! The crowd chanting for The Shield!!!! They were booing Reigns like 10 minutes ago! Fickle fools!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Respect to the infamous Informer for the use of his scribings once again.

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