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The Jobber Blogger #122 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 27/8/14

Jobber-Blogger

The Jobber Blogger

Well it’s 8:30pm, Sunday the 31st of August, and I’m knackered.

It’s my second day off after my lovely 10 day stint at work, and I think it’s just finally hit me.

Having a nice nap during the day seems to have made things all the worse! But, here we are!

Quick shout out goes to the Cage Amateurs UK team of Jon and Dan, not only for posting up my ramblings for as long as they have, but just for them being awesome guys and sending me a free t-shirt!

Yes, a picture might follow! Just not right now!

bluelineTNA talk time, and it’s quite easy to say that TNA is Getting Wild!!! No, don’t get ahead of yourselves, it’s only getting wild because they’ve been offered a TV Deal by the Discovery Channel, not a bad idea, linking EY’s Off the Hook show with TNA. However the budget they will give TNA will drastically change their product, so it’s a last resort I believe.

Apparently Netflix forked out some ridiculous fee for the rights to some TV show I forgot the name of. That’s a pretty damn good budget. I still think the Online Streaming Market is a good market to get into. I suppose you can say that the WWE Network is under performing. Though I would bet the vast majority of their audience and TNA’s have Netflix, or a product similar. Put it on there, worldwide, no pesky TV limitations, try Live shows? Small extra charge for a PPV, and put out the show at the same time, World Wide. Awesome idea!

I’m sure there’s a lot more to it than that and I have no idea about anything.

Impact Wrestling Logo

blueline TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 27/8/14

Kurt kicked off the show by standing up in the crowd of the New York fans. Maybe too close to the fans… especially this guy

kurt fan love

I did find it funny that the show went all “Wrestling” quickly, and I mean that in terms of being a typical Wrestling talking match, rather than actually Wrestling.

MVP, Lashley and King hit the ring and poor Kurt just stood next to those fans for quite some time saying nothing…. doing nothing. It’s like they forgot he was there. And also how I used to feel when standing near people. End up sort of in a group, just standing there… too embarrassed to walk away, then people I didn’t know would turn up, people I did know left… and I was just stuck, standing near people I didn’t know, starring at them whilst they talked about crap I had no interest in. Ahh, to be shy again.

Waste of my frickin’ time!

Thankfully MVP was back on form at actually being good on the mic, then for no reason, At All, Tommy Dreamer got involved.

Tommy Dreamer, who has no relevance to this situation was put in this situation. My god! I’ve never noticed how much of a whiney git Dreamer is. Has it always been his “thing” to be a suck up?

Why does he need to get involved in everything and tell people how good they are? How much better they can be. I don’t remember him doing this before?

dreamer loveDreamer who took it upon himself to tell Fortune some years ago how good they all were, then got his ass kicked. He recently came out to tell Dixie how lovely she is, and got hit in the nuts. Now he’s come out to tell MVP, King and Lashley at how far they’ve fallen, to once again get his ass kicked.

Isn’t he supposed to be a talk from the heart in an edgy kind of way. This is just pathetic. Also hilarious. If it’s meant to be serious, then it’s a terrible characteristic. However, having Dreamer tell everyone how lovely they are and he getting beaten up for it, I’m down with that.

bluelineLashley vs. Dreamer – Street Fight

So here’s the problem, and it’s called Lashley vs. Dreamer.

Dreamer has always been the guy who looks like he least belongs in a ring. That’s not to say he can’t wrestle or perform. He just doesn’t look like a Wrestler. He looks like a crew guy who got caught up in something.

Whereas Lashley is arguably the most well built Professional Wrestler going.

I supposed that’s the dynamic of this particular booking.

Lashley took a few good shots from the weapons, but he kept it a Wrestling match and that is how he defeated Dreamer and thankfully it wasn’t too much of a struggle for him.

See they’re building Lashley well now, making him the Destroyer, a true Wrestler, who can’t be beat. Aside from the fact he’s won two of his toughest matches because they made an error, rather than his superiority, that’s the only downside.

bluelineSo the new Knockout – Havok is making her debut next week. Not sure if everyone knew it was a Knockout yet?

Either way, looking forward to it, she looks like a Female Bane….. I’m judging that purely on the mask, no idea what she actually looks like. (Just to cover my tracks on what could have been an insult!) Yay!

Lei'D BanebluelineGunner was hanging out in his Room with Samuel Shaw. Yup, it gets weirder believe it or not.

This was one of those strange to place Wrestling backstage segments again. Because it’s meant to look like a “scene” yet it’s Wrestling, which is based in reality, so there is obviously a Camera Man in the room.

It’s a weird mix, top it off with some bad acting, and well, it’s Wrestling I guess?

Shaw pretended to be drawing, then decided to wear Gunner’s military jacket and salute him.

I’m guessing we’re supposed to see that either Shaw IS crazy, or he’s developing a kind of affection for Gunner.

If this thing turned into a Gay storyline, I think it would catch people off guard. I’d find it funny, so why not. Can’t be any worse than Claire Lynch.

bluelineMadison Rayne vs. Taryn Terrell – #1 Number Contenders – Knockouts Championship

Whilst on the topic of the Knockouts, it appears that Velvet might be distancing herself from TNA. Bully’s contract is now up, so he’s effectively left the company, though he will be at Bound for Glory for the Hall of Fame.

I’m still hopeful Bully isn’t done with TNA. But this apparent relationship between Bully and Velvet, one would imagine that her distancing herself could also be in part due to his departure.

See, this wasn’t a bad match. Taryn is good, she’s good at the more unusual things you wouldn’t see a Knockout doing. The crazy things.

But she’s not that technically good either, though miles better than Velvet… but that’s another story.

I’m easily more of a Madison fan, but whatever, there’s still something about Taryn that just doesn’t seem to “click” as a full package.

What was interesting was Madison’s attempt at cheating, putting her feet on the Ropes. Maybe they think there aren’t enough Heel Knockouts, perhaps they think Madison works better as a heel?

I’m open to her being in the Beautiful People again, hopefully Velvet does stick around, if she goes I don’t think Angelina would be far behind her. That would suck.

But hey, let’s stay on topic, Taryn won. Now she’s off to face Gail Kim for the Knockouts Championship, and guess what, she shouldn’t win.

But she might…

bluelineHomicide, DJ Z, Manik vs. Tigre Uno, Crazy Steve and Low Ki

Random but awesome 6-man X-Division Tag.

Interesting pairing between all of these guys too, given that DJ Z is the only real Heel.

Again, the latter part of Low Ki’s entrance was the only one Televised, so quite obvious who is getting put over.

Uno took his time to shine once more, and he is just excellent! Hopefully he will be put in a match again soon, where he isn’t just “there” to fill in the gaps. Uno vs. Low Ki, I’d like to see that.

Awesome, Fast Paced, Excellent match! Low Ki, picked up the win.

bluelineBobby Roode and Eric Young had one of those “Respect Talks” to each other for their match next week to determine the Number One Contender.

I love how this was played off as a big deal, and struggle to decide the correct action. Despite this was the most obvious course of action, with a Triple Threat not being out of the question either.

Sure, EY and Roode have a history, but it’s not like a really well documented on screen Friendship, aside from their time in Team Canada all of those years ago.

Don’t think they really need to let them telling each other how much they like one another, but it didn’t not work either. Them getting fired up about tearing the Roof Down next week seemed to get a big pop, and no doubt nice Video Footage.

Here’s the thing though, and it gets sticky.

Eric Young defeated Bobby Roode twice, yup, TWICE! To retain the World Championship.

And EY has never been able to defeat Bobby Lashley, at all, or even get close.

Yet Roode seems like the most legit guy to challenge Lashley, and he’s being billed as that. But on paper, Roode couldn’t beat EY, so therefore Roode shouldn’t be able to beat Lashley (as far as logic goes). And EY has been defeated by Lashley so many times, that he’s not going to stand a chance.

So what’s the point? Unless they do swing a Triple Threat. Either way, I’d like Lashley to keep the belt. I’ve wanted Storm on top for some time now, and I’m into this idea of him forming a Revolution, he’d be a good figure head. So my perfect idea, is Lashley remains dominant, till the onslaught of Storm and his Revolution. Heel on Heel.

I like that idea.

bluelineEthan Carter the Third vs. Rhino

Remember that guy I made fun of in the crowd a few weeks back? No… well up yours!

shyguy^ This guy. Yup, even TNA are mocking him now, gave him some more screen time and Taz and Tenay burst out laughing at the poor guy. I found it funny.

creepy fan 2Something else I found rather funny, was when Tenay and Taz were talking about Dixie’s interview from last week, Taz making some comment about how Mike should have asked her something. Tenay responded saying it must have got edited out, to which Taz brilliantly replied “I thought they didn’t edit anything on this show”. Who knows if that was scripted, but Impact is so badly and poorly edited at times, that I enjoyed this comment.

I also liked how Taz and Tenay had to tell Rhino’s story during this match to try and make you think he’s the good guy. His alliance with EC3 and Dixie was only about money, and they were never friends.

Yup, you want people to be against EC3 and on Rhino’s side, well apart from the fact Rhino has some history people will latch onto, Rhino does look like an idiot in all of this.

So yeah, I routed for EC3, and much to my enjoyment he got himself a Chair and beat the high holy hell out of Rhino with it. To the point where Spud told him to Calm Down.

I enjoyed this, it makes me like EC3, and I’m against Rhino throughout this crappy storyline, so I enjoyed that more.

bluelineThe Great Sanada vs. Austin Aries

Storm came out to introduce Sanada, talk about his Revolution and that Sanada is the “first of many”. So I am liking the idea. Again, Storm being on a losing streak doesn’t exactly make him a good mentor.

Sanada debuted his new look, which is also The Great Muta’s old look. Not very original of Storm really.

I did quite like it though. What I appreciated more is that Sanada is supposed to be the one put over, but he didn’t bury Aries.

Aries was as legit as ever, but Sanada was playing dirty and Storm was getting involved, so I’m cool with Aries taking the fall.

I particularly liked Sanada’s counter to the Brain Buster by Biting Aries’ hand. “Biting” is obviously used a fair bit in Wrestling, but to have Sanada with his arms out, Aries’ hand in mouth, as he pulled himself out of the hold. Nice touch.

In the end though Storm shook the ropes to make Aries fall from the top, Sanada sprayed the mist in his face then finished him off with a Superkick for the win.

I look forward to where this goes, and in a lot of ways this felt like old wrestling. Having a manager out there, debuting his new talent, trying to put him over. I don’t know why, but the appearance helped too, I liked it. I look forward to where this leads and hope Storm actually brings more people into this revolution.

bluelineChris Malendez had his Debut, least in appearance.

It’s a weird one. I get why he’s impressive, I get why it’s an amazing thing to achieve, I get why he’s respected. I just don’t see longevity in his career.

I honestly feel TNA’s signing of an “American Hero” is more for publicity than anything else. I liked the story of Anderson putting him in touch with Bully and Devon. But then Bully and Devon were called the “best trainers” and I think Rob Terry came from their school, either way Jesse Neal did, and he sucked.

Not to mention he was in the Marines, Navy? I don’t think he got free training.

I don’t mean this to sound harsh, but the idea of a one legged Wrestler doesn’t interest me, if anything I find it off putting. It is fantastic to be able to get where he is, but there will always be a limit of what he can do, always.

Zack Gowen is obviously the comparison, and I hated him. It bugs me to this day that his only win, ONLY WIN, was against Matt Hardy. That should never have happened. EVER!

bluelineTeam 3D vs. The Hardyz vs. The Wolves – Match 1

Honestly, I put no notes. Well, I wrote down that Team 3D won, and that the match was awesome.

This is what I will say, this match was fantastic! We knew it would be.

There isn’t anything I can really say to do it justice, just watch it.

However, as good as this match was, I didn’t put it forward for a Match of the Year Nomination.

Now, why didn’t I do that?

Two reasons, number one, this match though special, isn’t as special as the first two matches between Hardyz and the Wolves, and Hardyz vs. Team 3D.

Number two, and this is the main reason, this was Match Number 1, these are going to get crazy good, I know it. So this won’t be the best, and the best, will be the best, and then that will be put forward I’m sure.

I love Tag-Team Wrestling!

 

blueline

Good show, no more major news regarding TNA currently, Manik has re-signed, so that’s good.

Till next time!

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

www.TheJobberBlogger.wordpress.com

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Monday Night Raw #1099: June 16, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

You know what I don’t understand about all this future endeavor sh!t? Why the f**k are fans concerned about 3MB? THEY WERE WACK – GET OVER IT! I admit – I was kinda heartbroken when JTG and Teddy Long were let go… JTG was getting paid for sittin on his @$$! Let’s be real, if you were getting paid thousands for sittin on yo’ @$$, YOU WOULD LOVE IT! SO SHUDDUP!

GRANT-BODY P!!!

Stay tuned Smack Talk Centre… The Infamous Informer (that’s me, IWC’s favourite nemesis) and  Shadfather (Negrodamus, take heed in his words) host the STC Future Endeavor list! We have compiled a Top 10 superstars that the STC would give a P45/Pink slip to, along with that one diva (WWE fired Aksana), so who does the STC choose?

It all happens this Saturday night 1am UK 8pm EST on BDSIR NETWORK…

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER!

Enough of all that, time for RAW! #1099!! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZOk why the f**k are everybody out here? What is this ‘critical announcement?’ How many shows have started with Triple TEEF and Stephanie these days? I mean I don’t mind Stephanie…. especially if she started the show with her lovely legs and backside to the camera!

Oh SNAP – look at Stephanie’s top! With the one strap on her arm!!!! She needs some ‘young’ meat… Triple TEEF ain’t that right mayyynnnn!

Wait a minute – everybody in a battle royal? Does that include the divas??? Oh dear – The Shield and Cena are not allowed? TRIPLE TEEF!!!!!!!

HA! Because I’m tight-fisted and tried to watch RAW on a stream while entertaining you guys – the stream breaks down on me. I manage to sort it and I hear something about John Cena fighting my hero Kane in a stretcher match???? Cena you’re my dude but Kane is my hero! KILL CENA!!! KILLLLLLLL HIM!!!!

Good luck to the athletes at the Special Olympics in New Jersey!!! And the Infamous Informer continues to support his team in the World Cup! Nah not England – they still rely on one man to carry them….enough of that sh!t – Seth Rollins Vs Dolph Ziggler! GET HIM SETH! And oh yeah – CHANGE YOUR MUSIC – it ain’t saying nuthin!

I do like that Rollins maintains his swat gear as his attire… VERY GOOD!

Big ups to STC’s Anthony Cardenas who says a ladder match between Ziggler and Rollins would be crazy and I agree!

Was that a Lionsault attempt by Seth Rollins???? WHOA! (Don’t go saying he’s the next Jericho…) I’d slap you upside the head like my name is Batman and you Robin!

I said that Dean Ambrose wants to f**k you up Rollins! I gotta big up Triple TEEF for this one… comes up on titantron and tells Ambrose – ‘I’M AFRAID I GOT SOME BAD NEWS!!!’ In his best English accent! Out comes Wade Barrett – WROOOOOOY! Another great fight (I can’t say wrestling match) about to pop off!

So let me get this right so I can understand this: Ambrose is now fighting in his vest and jeans while Rollins would still fight in his swat gear? Interesting. I’m glad they not fighting in standard wrestling attire….

Meanwhile, INFAMOUS TWITTER AMUSEMENT:

So @KevinHart4real is coming to host #Raw #WWECleveland…. I told him to watch out for @RusevBUL"</p

KEVIN HART

THE GRANT SAYS: Something tells me Kevin Hart will stand up to the racist Rusev!!! And may try to chat up Lana too!

OH SNAP!!! Is Roman Reigns spiking Triple and Steph McTeef’s drinks???? Oh my god NO!!! By the way Reigns – Vickie Guerrero is NOT beautiful!!!!

All I know is, it’s personal between Ambrose and Rollins now! Ambrose never cared about his match with Barrett – he just wanted to fight! Rollins comes out to teef, and fight brukk out in the crowd! Yo Triple – don’t give these two a standard match at Money Inna Bank…. this is a straight up street fight!

HOLY F**K – my internet is down…. Now is a good time to get my ice cream! Shall I play some PS3 while I’m waiting? I know it’s not the bill… ain’t that a b!tch…

Ok we back! I was gonna play Tekken Tag Tournament 2, and next thing I know Sheamus & Bray Wyatt are trying to destroy each other….

Yo check it – Bray is in the Munny Inna Bank match for the WWE title, The Usos defend their titles against Rowan & Harper, can you imagine if The Wyatt Family cleans up? It would be even better than what The Shield did!!!

HEY – TEEEF! Sheamus was gonna finish Wyatt with his Brogue Kick and Wyatt’s BDSIR LAYLA GRANTbredrin tried to hold him back, and BIG FIGHT BRUKK OUT between Sheamus and the Usos against the Wyatt man dem!!! Ladders involved! The Usos – running up the ladder and flying into the Wyatt man dem! Sheamus with the ladder – throws it over the ring and onto their head – BLAOW!!!! RAW IS DANGEROUS RUDE BOY!

Oh seen!!! The stretcher match between Cena & Kane is to qualify for the Munny Inna Bank!

What’s wrong Stephanie? You got the runs girl???? The coffee too sweet??? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Don’t forget to wipe your @$$!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

WHOA!!! Paul Heyman says that Cesaro is gonna become the World Wrestling Federation champion at Munny Inna Bank???? Not a prediction, but a spoiler????!!!!! DROP THE BOMB ON EM!

OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! It’s that f**kable Lana!!!! Why doesn’t the crowd chant ‘suck my d!ck’????!! even the ladies?!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

Oh no! Lana changed up Mount Rushmore!!!! 4 Russian ambassadors? She Can’t Do That!!!

Ok Heath Slater, you lost your buddies, you still gonna get brukk up by Rusev!!! CRUSH!!!

OH MY DAYS!! It wasn’t the runs….. Roman Reigns put some sh!t in the coffee that made Steph throw up crazy all over the WWE and all over Vickie Guerrero!!! NOW THAT IS JUSTICE!!!!!

Wait! It gets better!!! Triple did say that Vickie is in charge while he takes Stephanie home… which left Roman to manipulate Vickie into letting him into the battle royal! Winner goes into Munny Inna Bank!!! OH MY GOD NO! Roman is gonna win! What’s Triple gonna do now???? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I LOVE IT!!!

So w’happen? Kevin Hart is gonna be on commentary??? UH-OH!!!! He could say anything on that mic!!!!

F**K me – Layla…. those thighs…. OH SNAP – she poured milk all over Summer Rae and rubbed her face in kitty litter last week on Main Event? YES BABY!!!! Now Summer looks like a porn star after 200 men cum all over her stank @$$!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Kevin Hart looks confused with the attire of Fandango and Adam Rose! Well he is Thinking Like A Man!

NO! Kevin Hart has become a rosebud!!! Yo Adam Rose – you may jump into your crowd but you can’t do it like Method Man!!!

Method Man dive

Roman Reigns keeps the Shield music…. interesting! I thought the battle royal was the main event? Never mind!

Interesting – Rusev in the match…. who is gonna eliminate him??? I’m gonna Keep Watch like the Wu-Tang…

No point booing over the fact that Ziggler was eliminated… I gave up on him since the book of Genesis!

BACKFOOT! Roman Reigns and Rusev the last two!!!!!

Superman punch to the headtop of Rusev – BLAOW!!!! Roman Reigns is in the Munny Inna Bank ladder match!!! Triple TEEF don’t check your twitter! Attend to your wife!!!

Happy Birthday warrior

SALUTE!!!!!

Forget about Cena’s promo…. that Renée Young….

There’s something bout this girl man, from around my way
Ever try to hold back your feelings, but it just wouldn’t stay
But when I finally found the words to say
I wanted to run away, simply run away
You can try to run and hide, it won’t make a difference
You can lie to yourself, or try to reason
Sure it hurts when it comes to your attention
That you’re in love with the girl…

I must do a Lana tribute video… then following that, a Renée Young video… but make no mistake about it… The Infamous Informer is in love….with LAYLA.

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Big ups to Cameron and Naomi…they outlasted Broadus Clay! I said that the Funkadactyls would break out and become the true stars! They even running with Broadus music!

Interesting…Naomi not feeling Cameron’s attitude and fighting style…. it will be a sad day if these two break up….

Ok so Cody Rhodes has found this ‘partner’ for Goldust? He’s the don? Who is he? Booker-T? Razor Ramon? Rowdy Roddy Piper? How about Ahmed Johnson??????

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WTF!!! Stardust is the new tag team partner for Goldust???? We know it’s you Cody Rhodes but hey! Let’s not be Smarks and enjoy this sh!t!!!

Bumbaclart! They win!!! And Stardust got a new move set on top!!! I like this!!!

Damn I gotta do some wrestling research… 10 years ago there was a stretcher match on Raw, and it involved my hero Kane but I can’t remember who the opponent was… alternatively you guys could tell me by answering on a postcard or tweeting me @MZATheInfamous!

I took a quick trip to google… I know who it was… On this day, I see clearly….

Question – when WWE2K15 drops later this year, will the game developers chant ‘CM Punk’ on random matches? Could CM Punk be a secret character???? ANSWERS ON A POSTCARD PLEASE!!!!

Oh HELL 2 DA NAW!!! Cena hit the FU to my hero Kane through the announce table – BLAOW!!!! DAMNIT!!! Come on Kane… Get up Kane…GET HIM KANE!!!

What???? SETH ROLLINS & RANDALL – TEEF!!!! They gonna brukk up Cena!!! Ambrose runs through to continue the beef with Rollins! But Kane – Chokeslam to Ambrose – BLAOW!!!! Cena recovers, carries the steel steps, throws it at Kane – BLAOW!!! YO! THIS SH!T IS CRAZY!!!

GRANT BODY – P!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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Monday Night Raw #1094: May 12, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

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The Infamous Informer

Since WWE likes to sign up new divas for a development deal, they might be interested in this one! Name: Solange Knowles… she put her boots to Jay-Z’s Candy @$$! Blows up Facebook, everybody put it pon dem wall like they found the breaking news… but what I wanna know is: WHY? Why did Solange spazz out on Jay and Beyoncé just stood there… what did Jay do??? People quick to post it because they jumped on the bandwagon of hating Jay-Z. You sheeple are foolish! (Oh you’re defending Illum-) STOP YOUR NOISE! You’re the ones with your sheep masks following the buzzards!

And that story overshadowed the fact that Chef Raekwon is heading to the studio to lace some verses for Wu-Tang’s A Better Tomorrow album….

ENOUGH OF THIS SH!T – Isn’t Raw in the UK this week? I dare you Zeb – come to our shores… I’M BEGGIN YA!!!

RAW #1094, HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZI guess we’re not in the UK… F**K the long talk! The Shield are like – Is that all you got Evolution? We are gonna straight – F**K YOU UP!!!

And that’s what they set out to do! As soon as Triple come out his limo, The Shield rushed him and his crew!!! LAWD HAVE MERCY!!!

Oh no that muthaf***a has got that muthaf***!n deportation list again, now he’s added Adam Rose on that list and look what happen… here he comes with his party crew, and f**ked it up for Wack Swagger! I’ve just learned that this Adam Rose dude is British as well… the STC are on split feelings on this one! I notice no one is on that We The People sh!t…. if only they listened to me, but NOOOOOOOO!!! I’m just a black man who doesn’t care about the Chris B£^@!+ sh!t…

Here comes Paige… one of the people Zeb Colter doesn’t like…. I look at you all in disgust!

GRANT - BODY - P

Alicia Fox is out to f**k up Paige isn’t she??? Claims she doesn’t fit in… well durrrr!!! Paige will tell you she doesn’t fit in, because she’s the Anti Diva! She ain’t gonna look pretty like say Eva Marie and have no skills… Because she HAS skills brings sexual appeal to a lot of the STC guys! She still doesn’t stimulate me… I’m sorry!

All those power moves Alicia, and Paige out wrestles your @$$??? Damn girl! Kicking up a fuss ain’t gotta do sh!t, go back and fix up! And I don’t mean taking off with JAY-BEE’s cowboy hat and gone with it!

Tell me it’s not so…. did the Authority win the war after all that? Danny Bryan has to go away for neck surgery…ain’t that a b!tch… what does this mean? Has he gotta give up his titles???? This is f**ked up word up! I guess that means Cena can reclaim his throne…. I was hoping for that alleged Buried Alive match at Payback…. let’s see how long Danny is out the game for… Kurt Angle Danny Bryan

RECORD SKIP – there’s now talk of Luke Harper and Erick Rowan possibly fighting the Usos for the tag team titles???? UH-OH!!! I sense the end of the Usos reign… let’s hope it’s not the case but either way it makes for good storyline!

You mean to tell me that after that victory by Cena & The Usos, Bray Wyatt is laughing about it and says ‘he realises what he must do’???? This is what I mean with Bray! You can’t just defeat him in a wrestling competition, you must DESTROY HIM COMPLETELY!!!!

Oh dear Evolution – dem mans are BEX!!! Triple TEEF with the long talk – ‘We gonna pick apart Dean Ambrose-uuuuuuuuh, then we gonna tear the wings from Seth Rollins-uuuuuuuh, then Roman Reigns is gonna get the slow beating-uuuuuuh! Because at Payback-uuuuuuuuh, it’s gonna be’ – SHUDDUP!!! The Shield rushed them again!!!! Batista is fuming! He wants to test Roman Reigns later!!! And he will probably get brukk up too! Why you bex for Batista? RZA & Raekwon have reached their agreements! The album will be completed!

Back to our Total Laydeez, now Natalya and Nikki are competing in a match because Natalya made a god-awful painting of Nikki and John, I thought it was a sweet gift but it’s led to a wrestling contest so here we go, the other ladies are rating the wrestling moves… cameramen what are you doing??? Get the cameras on Cameron! She got the new single out! What – Ray J is not there??? Shut up and tek de picture!

Nikki won the match… I suppose there is a penalty for giving a nice gift from the goodness of your heart…

 

When the rain comes down,

I know it’s falling for me, and only for me…

And the pain comes around, somewhere else I’d rather be,

I know what I’ve done, Please forgive me…

I bet that’s what’s going through Natalya’s head right now…

Damn son I’m trying to get into this Sheamus Vs Ryback match but I’m tired yo… where’s Paul Heyman to give me joke???

Ok I don’t get Heyman but I get Stephanie McMahon….. OH YEAH!!!!

Hang on, I think I get the picture…. she’s gonna take the titles from Danny… or maybe not…. oh sh!t!!! IT’S KAAAAAANE!!! He just drew Danny’s carcass out to the stage!! Oh lawwwd this means Brie is vulnerable!!!! She still has to come to work!!!!

Danny taken away in an ambulance, Stephanie going on like she’s sincere… Brie pushes her one side and did you see the look on Stephanie’s face???? I saw Vincent Kennedy…. Oh dear Brie I wouldn’t want to be you!!!!

Now this is the point where I cuss down Fandango to the ground because he stole my beautiful Layla… but if he’s fighting Dolph Ziggler then we have a common enemy… COME ON FANDANGO!!! DESTROY HIM!!!

OH F**K!!!! Layla might have cost Fandango the match here… well Layla, that’s what you get for dissin me…wait – Fandango LOVES YOU??? WHOA!!! He don’t love you like I do Layla…

Aiyo, he don’t really love you like I do
Kiss your feet, make love to you, like I do
Wake you up, in the night tank and surprise you
Cross my heart, swear, put my hand on the bible
I’m not a cold-blooded killa, baby, I cry too
The best thing for me is when I’m laying beside you
Turn you over, open up, get up inside you
He a woman beater, no doubt, and he lies too…

Yo what up Hacksaw Jim Duggan!!!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

F**K ME that Lana…she that chick that you f**k her with her clothes on…. if she doesn’t have a man, something seriously wrong with the world! Why hasn’t WWE got her on book signings in the UK damnit??!!!

So Lana sets Yusef on Hacksaw… he was ready to take him but Big E Langston thought – that ain’t happening… only to get brukk up…. damn, how many more black wrestlers gotta die??? First R-Truth, Xavier Woods, then Kofi, now Big E???? WTF???Racial man Racial!!!!

I’m glad that Sandow got rid of that Magneto sh!t…. they gave him back the mic to chat… Oh Cody Rhodes why did you interrupt him for? I was looking forward to Sandow to SILENCE!! the crowd!

Now we realise what Bray Wyatt is gonna do! Beat down Cena until he can no longer stand??? Last Man Standing…. Payback… OH MAN!!!!

Enough of that sh!t – Batista! Roman Reigns! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

Evolution and The Shield already at ringside – you already know this ain’t ending well…

…for Evolution!!! They tried to be teef and got half the locker room to rush the ring to beat down the Shield! But the Hounds of Justice sent for reinforcements of their own in the form of a steel chair each and beat down the jabronies! It was like power rangers beating down the puttys but militant style! Has Ryback got the record for most Shield powerbombs into the canvas??? He has to surely!!!

Well evolution hinted at a stipulation, I long to see what that could be and by the looks of those chairs how they were swung it could be a further hint… but damn, Danny Bryan out the game???? F***************K!!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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