Tag Archives: Cesaro

Monday Night Raw #1276, November 13, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

 

OL DIRTY BASTARD KING

Today marks the 13th Anniversary of the passing of ODB… the ONLY ODB I will acknowledge, the Ol’ Dirty Bastard of The Wu-Tang Clan. Let me tell you wrestling fans something. If you speak of another ‘ODB’, DO NOT INSULT ME, DO NOT INSULT HIP HOP, and DO NOT READ MY BLOGS.

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1276! It gaah pop off tonight! BUMBACLART!!!

Steph Raw

Double chocolate digestive and a chicken & leek cup of soup. I expect RUCKUS!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh sheeeeeeeeet! Stephanie is here! Why she got on some dress that looks like a 60-year-old would wear?! She needs to take it off…
Shout out to Shabba Ranks and Johnny Gill… Slow and Sexy… GRANT BODY-P!
Come on Kurt – sweet talk Steph! What happened to your charm? Show her your gold medals do something!
The crowd doesn’t seem to like Jason Jordan very much! They don’t like John Cena either!
Oh no! Steph thinks Kurt has gone soft! I could never be ‘soft’ around Steph… I’m just saying…
GRANT BODY-P!
The Shield are here! You don’t think they are gonna powerbomb Stephanie through the ring are they???
Wait – I take that back what I said about Steph – she got some stockings on or something – GOD DAYUUUUUUM!
How is Steph gonna ask

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

where has he been? Like we don’t know!

I thought Double R was gonna say what he and the Shield was gonna do to Steph! As in sexually!
THE BLACK SHIELD
Stephanie… we know you’re a freak… can you take us three????
OH MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Triple threat match to find out who joins the Raw women’s team! Mickie James all the way! I’m surprised Dana Brooke still has a contract! I hope she doesn’t miss her friend too much!
And of course you got Bayley… surely the favourite right?
Side note – Nia Jax looks hot with those braids she got going on! Actually lets throw a pic of her… for no reason!
Nia Jax lawd2
…and the bell has sounded! So much for your dirt sheets! Where’s Paige at then wrestling experts???? YOU IMBECILES!
Er… how the rarse is Dana Brooke gonna slap Asuka? That’s career suicide right there! Asuka with a roundhouse kick to Dana’s cheekbone – BLAOW!
Bayley is the 5th member! Fantastic! #DirtSheetsAreTheDevil – you are damned fools for reading those sh!ts!
Enzo calls his Championship his ‘boo’… that’s the closest he’s gonna get to pu$$y!
Time for the Shield to buss The Miz arse again! Oh it’s Miz TV? Where’s the remote – change the channel! But change it back if The Miz gets buss arse!
What’s wrong with Cesaro’s mouth? He’s talking like he got a gun in his mouth!
I could have been more profane, but I like Cesaro… who doesn’t? GRANT BODY-P!
Oh I forgot… when he had his teeth kicked into his gums didn’t he? Sorry my bad!
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Monday Night Raw #1274, October 30, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

NIGELLA-LAWSON-1

Now I should be talking about the ‘unfortunate releases’ of Emma, Summer Rae & Darren Young, I should be writing about some kid named Lio Rush whose tweet got him in trouble but at time of writing this, Nigella is back on my telly… this woman is going for 60 and she is still baaaaaaaaad!!!! I’d love to grab that woman and ‘decorate the kitchen table’…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1274! SOOOO – What you gonna do Kurt?

Steph Raw

 Double chocolate digestives and a supermalt, plus this sh!t starts early because the clocks tunn back… LET’S DO THIS SH!T!

 

The entire Raw locker room on the top of the stage! Kurt in the middle of the ring!

The crowd dropping ‘What?’ Chants on Kurt! This isn’t 2002 muthaf***a!

OH NO! NOW STEPHANIE IS HERE!!! OH MY GOD – This ain’t good! I mean – it’s good for me – I get to see her sexy @$$ but…hell yeah Steph I missed you damn! COME HERE GIRL!

They say RAW is television’s longest running show – WRONG!!! Try Coronation Street, Try Eastender!

GRANT BODY-P!

Kurt earned Stephanie’s respect! Until last week that is! Don’t you think he earned more than that back in 2000…..????

Stephanie is going IN on Kurt!!! She’s added a fourth I – Incompetence! She expects victory and annihilation from RAW at the Survivor Series! and if Kurt fails… THAT’S IT!!!! AAAAAAH SHEEEEEEET!!!

Kurt – it’s not too late to sweet talk Steph and get in her panties! You did it already once before!

Where was Miz last week went RAW got their @$$ whipped? Exactly – being a B!TCH hiding in the corner! He gotta defend his title now! Hope he loses – THE B!TCH!

What was that about Nia Jax walking out the company??? You been reading the dirt sheets again??? Nia looks glowing! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING SHAD???!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Samoa Joe is back too! OH LAWWWD!!! He wasn’t here last week! I guess Smackdown attacked Raw when they were vulnerable!

He hasn’t missed any of us? Ah well! I missed Stephanie anyway…

NO APOLLO CREWS!!! GO BACK!! This man should not be a jobber?! Oh no…

NO TITUS! PUT YOUR JACKET BACK ON! YOU LOST YOUR MIND??? This muthaf***a went toe to toe with Brock Lesnar and you wanna step to Joe? SMH!

Kevin Nash, HBK and The Don of Dons himself advertised for the 25th Anniversary of RAW! The Grant says this – y’all best knock on Hollywood’s door and The Broken Skull Ranch YOU FEEL ME???!!!!!

The Miz Vs MATT HARDY! Come on Matt! He’s never held the Intercontinental Title! GET HIM MATT! I’m rooting for you all the way bredrin! DELETE HIS BLODCLART!

DAMNIT!!! The Miz still champion! Let the complaining on the internet begin! NAH F**K THAT – I’M NOT THAT GUY!!! I DON’T DO DRUGS!

Alexa Blitch actually suggested something sensible! She told Kurt to bring some talent in from the Mae Young classic! May I interject?? I say bring these in!

Bianca bel air

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t care what you gotta do to get em Kurt but GET THEM!

Who is my sexy Asuka gonna fight? Dana Brooke? If Dana loses, she might end up like Emma… according to Lio Rush!

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a second – who is that???? I don’t mean in a perverted way – I mean in a legit concerned way… some chick named Stacey… oh dear Stacey – you didn’t even throw a punch – Ok – go to Vincent Kennedy, Collect your $1000 cheque, now go and pay those bills!

Er…. Danny Bryan?? What is this???? Remember he wasn’t too pleased that Kurt could fight and Danny couldn’t!

DTA KURT – DON’T TRUST ANYBODY! Not even Danny Bryan!

Kurt told Danny that the RAW locker room gonna come to Smackdown and bring the ruckus! AAAAAH SHEEEEEEET!

Why the f**k the lights go out? Undertaker isn’t there is he????

IT’S KANNNNNNE!!!! CHOKESLAM TO DANNY BRYAN! OHHHH HELLL NO!!!!! See what I did there?

GRANT BODY-P!

While Finn Balor and Cesaro are battling, I just thought – WWE – fire that muthaf***a Tyson Kidd! Future Endeavour his blodclart! Come on – you gotta buy some pyro for my hero Kane! Nattie can pay the bills! She’s the champion damnit!

Talking of Kane!!! Finn Balor tries to fight him! But Tombstone! TOMBSTONE!!!! TOMBSTONE ON THE CONCRETE STAGE!!!

Uh-oh! THE SHIELD!!! Well – 2 of em anyway! Remember Seth Rollins & Kane?! Haha this ain’t The Authority no more son!

I’m still sitting here thinking about Raw 25th Anniversary… Yo – Gotta have Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler and Vincent Kennedy on commentary at the old school Manhattan Center! Trish/Lita – where you at – bring your sexy @$$£$ here!

Cesaro & Sheamus came down to teef – Kane got the CHOKESLAM! He’s ready to finish him, but Ambrose tried to save his bredrin! Both of em got TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE!!!! Sheamus & Cesaro are like – BACKSIDE!!!!! WE ARE LUCKY TO HAVE OUR LIVES TODAY!

All Kurt has to do is send Kane to Smackdown at this rate and KILL THEM ALL! Apart from my Naomi… DON’T HURT MY NAOMI!

GRANT BODY-P!

Is Braun Strowman playing mind games with The Miz – leaving garbage in his locker room? OOOHHHHHH SNAP!!!

Look at the Miz sucking up to Kane… Kane is like – you’re on your own kid!

They put Heath Slater/Rhyno and the Balding club (Gallows/Anderson) in Halloween costumes like they gonna fight… what b!tches!!!!

Sheamus & Cesaro said the same thing! The Miz is on his own! I so hope Braun catches him!!! It would be the greatest thing I’ve ever seen!

Seems like Jason Jordan is not dun with Elias! He hates that country sh!t  – Jason Jordan is HIP HOP!

No Jason – don’t brukk up the guitar! OH SHEEEEEEEEET!!!! No one walking with Elias again!

The Miztourage is leaving the building! NOT SO FAST! Kurt says YOU NAH GUH NOWHERE! OR ELSE!!!!GRANT WWDJC2

RAW IS OFF THE HOOK THIS WEEK! And there is still Mickie James vs Alexa Bliss to come!

Looks like Enzo Amore got his voice back! I asked this question last week – where is Drew Gulak going? HE’S SO DRY – he makes John Laurinitis funny as f**k!

The Miz is straight sh!tting himself! This is great!! Oh man the writers must have had a kick up the backside as of late! See – I’ve been telling you that Smackdown as been the better show but as of late RAW has been straight KILLIN EM!

Alexa Blitch looks worried! Mickie James is kicking her all over that ring!

Yo they showing adverts of KFC word up… hopefully while you are reading this I am tucking in to the Colonel’s food!

AH LIE!!! Are the crowd chanting for CM P**K? I thought you guys love women? I thought you love Alexa Bliss? I thought you love Mickie James? You guys must be GAY!

GRANT BODY-P!

Alexa still the champion! SH!T! She actually used the Sean Price punch! PPPPPP!!! Nah f**k all that – watch this… Miz is taking foot and run!

You think Braun is driving the limo??? Buckle up Miz!

The dumpster has returned! OH NO! BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! Me never see The Miz run so fast! LAWWWWD HE KETCH DEM! He dash the Miztourage down the ramp! It truly is Halloween for The Miz! The Miztourage got F**KED UP! HOW MANY POWERSLAMS HAS HE GAVE THESE GUYS?

LAWWWWWWWD! This guy is an official babyface now! I mean, I like Double R and Cena, but have you noticed guys, that when they are not on TV – WWE kicks @$$??!!!!!

 

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1273, October 23, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

IWC fools

It’s gonna hurt me to say this more than it will hurt the man in question… but Aydenn Wardle: Give me your wrestling card. You are not worthy of it. You said (on a J.A.M.M.S. Podcast I might add) that if Shinsuke Nakumura lost to Jinder Mahal at Hell In A Cell, you would hand it in and not watch AJ Styles Vs Shinsuke Nakumura if it happened at WrestleMania 34. But there you are STILL watching, and STILL complaining that while Finn Balor Vs AJ Styles was a great contest (which it was), you said the TLC match itself was garbage. So ok – Strowman & Kane go through announce tables, Kurt dons the Shield gear, The Shield get double chokeslammed through tables, Braun & Kane fight amongst each other, Kane chokeslams Braun off the stage, drops 20 chairs all over him, Braun comes back – pie faces his own team, the team rush him and throw him in the dumpster truck, Kane gets double speared through the barricade, Angle comes back – drops the olympic slam on Cesaro & Sheamus (prior to that he took most of the team to suplex city) then he and The Shield completely destroy The Miz for the win and YOU SAID IT WAS GARBAGE? YOUR CARD. GIVE IT TO ME!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1273! My apologies to my readers at Cage Amateurs UK: When Virgin Media pull the plug because I didn’t pay those bills, life offline is a bit lonely!

Steph Raw

 Now really and truly, I shouldn’t be watching live because I have a hospital appointment in the morning, (or rather by the time you read this I’ve already been to the hospital) but… Brock Lesnar gonna sign Jinder Mahal’s death warrant- er I mean answer the challenge for the Survivor Series!

But first – KUUUUUUURT!!! I was concerned about him at the PPV, but thank god he’s ok, he may have got put through a table by Strowman, but he’s still standing strong!

Raaaaar! It’s champion Vs champion at the Survivor Series! Plus 5 Vs 5 Tradtional Raw Vs Smackdown mens & womens matches!

Miz thinks Raw is his show? He got BUSS ARSE at the PPV! He’s more like Raw’s B!TCH!

Look at him complaining and sh!t… Kurt needs to tell him to shut the f**k up!

I know the Miz & the Bar was not gonna rush Kurt and brukk him up… thank god for the Shield! That would have been injustice right there!

Oh snap! 6 man jump off right now! The Bar/Miz face The Shield & AJ Styles! Good on this dude – he’s staying on Raw for the Monday too! Give this man MVP of the week please!

Ok guys – as much as I wanna hang around and watch RAW live, as stated above – I gotta fin my bed. I don’t wanna be walking like a zombie to the hospital tomorrow! Don’t worry – your boy is ok, just come off the medication and they are monitoring your favourite daywalker. (Very funny you think I was on medication because I don’t know my wrestling sh!t like you guys…go jerk off over Alexa Bliss…)

GRANT BODY-P!

Ok I’m back… the hospital could have called me to tell me the good news instead of me going clean up there only to be there for 5 minutes… let’s get on with this week’s World Wrestling Federation.

I love a good old ruckus match I do! Bodies everywhere! Camera can’t keep still! I love it! Finishing with a phenomenal forearm to Cesaro’s headcrown – BLOAW! All that technical sh!t is boring – GIVE ME RUCKUS! that’s what The Shield, the Miz, the bar and The Phenomenal One did!

OH NO! IT’S KAAAAAAAANE! Should be no problem for The Shield and AJ… right??????

Is it me or can I hear fans chanting for Roman? Er – dude is sick! Mash up with meningitis and sh!t… now you cheer for him… fickle… that’s why I can’t f**k with you wrestling fans sometimes! You’re worse than a b!tch on her period!

GRANT BODY-P!

Kane has decided to chill with us! I like how they treating his promo treatment – lighting all red, titan tron with flames and sh!t… that’s what I’m talking about!

He says he’s Raw’s original monster! I gotta agree with Kane I’m sorry! I mean yes, Strowman has pushed over ambulances, broken rings, walked out of a truck crash, nearly destroyed Brock Lesnar… but my hero Kane… he impregnated Lita, he tombstoned a priest, he electrocuted Shane’s balls, he buried his own brother alive… he’s been carried to the ring in chains once, and my personal favourite – he set people on fire for joke!

As much as I love Finn Balor, he has no chance against my hero Kane! I mean… he didn’t have to put the demon paint on against AJ Styles… but here, he’s just a man!

Finn Balor! Front drop kick to Kane to the turnbuckles! Set up for the Coup De Grace! But Kane sat right up! NO! Chokeslam off the top ropes! Balor tried to counter but the grip was too much! Chokeslam – BLOAW!

Not going for the cover! Grabs Balor by the neck again – another chokeslam – BLAOW!

NOT A THIRD!!! What did Balor do to deserve this!!! He’s a good man! CHOKESLAM – BLAOW! BACK BRUKK!!!

Emma has another chance to make Asuka see the lights for the first time in her WWE career! I’m telling you now – she needs Dana Brooke by her side again… I don’t know why they split them up in the first place…

Wait a second! Didn’t I watch Elias Samson Vs Jason Jordan already? I don’t need to see this sh!t again… hey WWE – if people missed it they can watch the PPV on the network!

Wait – I take that back – Jason Jordan coming with that ruthless aggression yo! Elias getting charged into the barricades! But Elias had to teef – he found a guitar and lick it over Jordan’s head – BLAOW!

Oh sorry guys – it was the shoulder of Jason Jordan… sorry if I got you excited for a hot minute…

GRANT BODY -P!

Drew Gulak – do not do speeches/pitches again – you sound like one of those idiots from The Apprentice!

Holy smokes Gran Metalik! He’s taken ‘walking the ropes’ to a new level hasn’t he! His athleticism is crazy!!!! He makes Super Crazy look Super Dull!

So Enzo’s crew are called ‘The Zo Train’? Sounds like a male version of the Ho train… oh wait – that IS what it is! I knew something was up with the way Enzo dressed…

GRANT BODY-P!

“The same someone, who barely survived Randy Orton, the same soemone who barely survived Shinsuke Nakumura…” Yes boys and girls, this fool wants to test BRRRROCCCK LESSSNAR! The same dude who took Cena to SUUUUUPLEXXXXX CITTTTTY! The same dude who…(deep breath) broke the Undertaker’s undefeated streak at WrestleMania, The same someone who has conquered Samoa Joe, Braun Strowman, and Goldberg… somebody order a straight jacket for Jinder Mahal NOW!

Look at Brock – he’s laughing! Pacing up and down like –  “a wha dis bwoy gwarn on wid eh?”

“When we think of WWE Champions, we think of Bruno Sammartino, Nagoh Kluh, Macho Man Randy Savage, Ric Flair, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, John Cena, and BRRRROOCCCK LESSSSNAR!!!!”

Er Heyman, what about Stone Cold Steve Austin? The Rock? The UNNNNDERRRTAYYYKERR? DISRESPECT!

I’ve come to the conclusion that Alexa Bliss is UGLY. YEAAAAH I SAID IT! I’m actually taking a good look at her – look at the amount of make up the b!tch got on! She that b!tch that when you put it in you think it’s the best sex ever, your eyes are watering, you are crying out like Lexington Steele, you reach the point of no return, buss your nut, go to sleep, wake up the next day to say good morning to her and JESUS CHRIST – she looks like Sister Abigail and sh!t!

church choir

080915, Atlanta, GA: Marcus Ross (cq) and the Beulahland Bible Church choir of Macon, Ga. perform in the “How Sweet The Sound” regional church choir competition at Philips Arena on September 15, 2008. “I felt like a star on stage,” Ross said.MIKKI K. HARRIS / mkharris@ajc.com

I will agree with the b!tch though, y’all wrestling fans is GAY. You chant ‘This is awesome’ when AJ Styles and Finn Balor stare each other in the face, but when Alexa and Mickie James sexy @$$ is on you sit there contemplating a toilet break…

Speaking of Mickie James – DAYYUUUUUUUUM! How did she get that in those jeans! Look at the high heels! Hold up – kick to the gut – tornado DDT in those heels! BLAOW! YES! Alexa Bliss deserved that sh!t!GRANT WWDJC2

Ok – Alicia Fox Vs Bayley vs Sasha – winner gets to be team captain for the women’s RAW team – Well The Grant Says – why is this even a question? Sasha is THE BOSS – she is a leader – not a follower! This match should not be taking place!

Actually I would love Alicia to be the captain – she is giving me joke ringing the bell like that! This ain’t Game of Thrones Alicia?!

OH SH!T!!! Alicia IS EL CAPITAIN!!! This is gonna be great! I LIKE THIS!

Hold up – Shane McMahon and the Smackdown brand? they think they are The Shield now coming down the stairs? They can’t be here???!!! What is this!

OH SNAP! UNDER SIEGE????!!! They brukk up the Titus Brand!

I can see Mr Strong Style there! He can take on the whole Raw Roster if he wanted to!

WROOOOOOY!!! THE LADIES ARE GOING AT IT! YES! PULL EACH OTHER’S WEAVE OUT!

Dean Ambrose said The Shield can take on the world – well how about half the Smackdown roster? Steel chairs in hand! Where’s Jim Ross when you need him?!

OH MY GOD THEY GOT KURT!!!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! HE’S INNOCENT!

HOLY SMOKES!!! You know Kurt ain’t gonna take this lying down! He’s gonna call his squad… and if he brings Kane and Strowman…. all I’m saying is – DON’T HURT MY NAOMI! OR ELSE!!!!

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Monday Night Raw #1268 , September 18, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Aah man, how do I say goodbye…

We lost another wrestling legend y’all… Bobby The Brain Heenan has returned to the essence and reunited with his broadcast partner – Gorilla Monsoon. Now the HWF (Heaven Wrestling Federation) roster is finally complete. They have their champions, (Warrior, Savage, Eddie) Their mid-carders (Perfect, Rick Rude, Owen Hart) Their women’s division (Chyna, Elizabeth) Their monster heels (Umaga, Viscera) Their babyface (Dusty) their top heel (Piper) Even their jobbers (Test, Crash Holly, Junkyard Dog) and everyone in between (Bulldog, Boss Man) And GOD himself is the general manager/commissioner – he’s signing these stars!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1268! Shout out to Natalie Sawyer… damn that girl is so fine! If I had my hands on her – I’d show NO MERCY on her p-(FLATLINE!!!!)

Steph Raw

I got NO refreshments… oh lawwwwwd… this is bad news! How am I gonna make it through the show?

Yo this week’s WWF wrestling better be as hot as the feud between Grace & Sienna on Hollyoaks!

GRANT BODY-P!

Ok I missed the first few minutes so I don’t know if there was a 10 Bell salute… what I do know… is that The Miz suddenly thinks he’s father of the year just because he breed up Maryse… and tries to talk down at Kurt Angle… you think Jason Jordan can defeat the Miz for the intercontinental championship at the No Mercy joint? F**k all that – Alexa Blitch is on against all curves and no brakes – a woman Redman would be proud of in Nia Jax… with that said… I had to throw some chips on… a brotha hungry!

..and just like that… I’m already fed up – the streams are f**k!n up, reminding me not to be a cheap arse and watch Raw properly on Sky Sports… well THE GRANT SAYS – I’m gonna eat my chips… and when I’m dun, me garne ah mi bed! I know it’s the go home show leading to the PPV… but my patience worn thin. This would not happen if it was Smackdown let me tell ya!

TUESDAY MORNING

Yes jabronies I am blessed to see another day, now I’m on catch up mode with this wrestling sh!t… and what do I see? Alexa Bl!tch running away from Nia Jax… that’s your World Wrestling Federation Women’s champion, your sweetheart… f**kouttahere! No I didn’t roll out the wrong side of the bed… this is Grant every day! Who you know like Grant????

Sasha comes out to tell Alexa – get your B!TCH @$$ back in the ring! Nia Jax claps down Alexa from the other side – BLAOW!

Shout out to the Soul n Sports massive & crew – before Raw I agreed that it is now Nia’s time to become the champion… but after watching her dominant performance… er… knowing WWE’s logic… er… oh dear…

Er… BAYLEY???? She looks bex for once!!!! She actually looks like she wants to f**k Nia up! WHOA!

Well obviously it would take the combined might of Alexa, Sasha & Bayley to mash her up when all they did was shoulder block Nia into the canvas…

Where does Alexa think she’s going trying to fren up – fren up Bayley & Sasha? They gave her the Ol Dirty Bastard look – GETTOUTTAHERE!!!

ODB GETTOUTTAHERE

“Nostalgia will fade just like these WHAT chants…” Sorry Cesaro the What chant will live forever… it cannot be stopped! It will only get stronger!

I gotta agree with Ambrose – Ii wouldn’t let my brothers dressed like battyman wannabe T-800s!

GRANT BODY-P!

I like The Shield’s formation suicide dives! That’s cool!!!! The Bar or The Club was not ready for that sh!t!

The Club lose again… oh god damnit this is the match we should have at No Mercy… what the blodclaaat! The Club should have won that sh!t to make things interesting… but nooooooo….

114 match losing streak??? If Apollo Crews loses to Curt Hawkins… then I will review my Raw card… but that sexy @$$ Asuka is coming though… she might be the saving grace…

Spinning spin out powerbomb – BLAOW! Now Hawkins is 0-115!

Wait a second – did Double R cuss bad words?!!!! How can you fools not like this guy? Oh yeah I forgot – you are all BUZZARDS with iPhoneXs lighting that sh!t up when a blubbering idiot walks to the ring with his flashlight!

GRANT BODY-P!

Double R bring up old sh!t about Cena running down The Rock… Aaah good times hahaa!

no_mercy_rendered-5805b3c8abc10195cce3ec0ebfb18b02

See that’s the only time Double R can get one up on Cena – when Cena is not here… five years later Cena is doing the same sh!t The Rock is doing… y’all know me – I’m Team Bring It all day… but Double R said something that made me think – maybe he shot himself in the foot – Cena believed he would beat The Rock at WrestleMania 28 – that went wrong… Double R cuts a similar promo like Cena did 5 five years ago – I have a feeling Cena gonna beat Double R and that’s gonna bring doubt and bad vibes in Double R’s Psyche… YES – that’s how it’s going – Cena wins… it eats away at Double R and consumes him until they have their rematch! That’s my prediction right there!

Massive big ups to Bobby The Brain Heenan. I will keep it 100 like I always do – Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler will always be my favourite commentary team of all time… but Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan were the original commentary team, not just that – you look at all the sketches they did back in the day – you don’t get that sh!t now word up. You won’t hear me say ‘he’s the greatest that ever did it’ unless I am a true fan – Ok I put it to you… in all the times you have read my blogs or listened to my podcasts on BDSIR Network – when have you heard me hold Heenan in high regard? Outside of the Royal Rumble 92 special show me and Shad did? Just keeping it 100…

Dustin Rhodes? So he’s now the artist formerly known as Goldust again? Oh no that became a horror story last time that happened!

Don’t worry I get it – it’s playing off the storyline Wyatt got with Finn Balor – I already did the knowledge!

Yo Rhodes is going IN on Wyatt! ‘Next Undertaker my dutty foot!’

…then he went in – right into a Sister Abigail – BLAOW! Er.. oh dear…

Finn Balor now on that cryptic sh!t! Oh Bray, you wonder why I refuse to light up my phone when you come out to the ring…

GRANT BODY-P!

So this six-pack challenge thing – Elias Vs Double J vs Hardy Boyz Vs Miztourage  winner fights the Miz at No Mercy? YAWN…. NEXT!!!

The Miz is so TEEEEEF! He doesn’t want Jeff Hardy or Jason Jordan to win! They need to kick him down and get him out of the equation!

OHHHH The Miz has done it now! He just called Jason Jordan a ‘Jon Snow’! he can’t do that! Oh boy – backing Double J all the way here… but that Miz is SO TEEF!!! Calling it now – Double J wins by disqualification, Jason Jordan gets bex, the Miztourage beats on him… then finally Kurt comes out, and hits the olympic slam on the Miz… either that or tries to break the ankle…

WHAAAAAAHAHAHA!!!! “I will feel great after I beat Neville at No Mercy how you doin?”
Did you see Enzo’s face when he heard – BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! Braun just boxed him down one time – BLAOW!!!GRANT WU TANG FOREVER

Braun picked up Enzo one hand – CHOKESLAAAAAAM! BLAOW! I don’t think Enzo gonna make it to No Mercy now! Neville must be deddin!

The running powerslam!!! BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! Holy smokes! Enzo is probably dead by now!

There was NO NEED for that Red Arrow super move Neville!!! Oh my days that was funny!

Let’s keep on this Braun sh!t! He says he’s gonna take Suplex City and stomp it to the ground! Better listen to him Heyman… or ELSE!

Oh man – if I was the referee – I would let Brock & Braun go at it – a simple wrestling match just won’t do boys and girls!

Paul Heyman is straight exposing Mike Cole as the wack journalist that he is! Mike Cole you wack homes!

Brock is thanking Braun for coming at him like this! Remember boys and girls – don’t complain on the internet!

 

 

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1266, September 4, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Beyoncé Knowles-Carter – GOD DAYUUUUUUUM! Sometimes she switches the sex appeal on, sometimes it tunn off… but in this video… Just like how people think she is in the illuminati like her husband, THE GRANT SAYS this is how Jiggaman blasted his super sperm in his wife… THERE IS NO CONCRETE EVIDENCE PEOPLE! YOU WASN’T THERE!!! My first lady actually thinks he didn’t get in Beyoncé’s temple at all and it was a test tube job! Haha I love my woman… but her hatred for the 4:44 man is too much! Not even I hated Triple H on that level back in 1999-2005!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1266! Can’t we just do a whole blog about Beyonce’s fine @$$ instead?

Steph Raw

SOURCE: WWE on YouTube (I fell crazy ill so I missed it live… god damn viral infection is a muthaf***a!)

One thing I can say about Enzo Amore is while he ain’t the realest guy in the room, he’s more real than that Lonzo Ball I can tell you that!

I smell a slow heel turn from Enzo, because this dude is acting like he is badder than all the other dudes on the 205 joint… and I believe they are acting on the real life situation which happened a while back when Double R kicked him off the bus. You can see the clues in the 6-man tag match – tagging in when he feels like it to get all the glory, and using shady underhanded tactics!

I love the dude Finn Balor but I think he shouldn’t come out dropping promos just wearing his jacket and his brief?!!! that doesn’t look too right!

Bray wants to face the ‘normal’ Finn Balor! Well THE GRANT SAYS – Bray can’t manage the ‘demon’! Hahaha -pu$$y!

GRANT BODY-P!

Big ups to Booker-T  sounds like his family in Houston Texas are ok coming off the hurricane that passed. I do have concern for STC’s own Anthony Cardenas, who hasn’t been heard from since that time.

Gotta give it up to the crowd  I saw a sign saying ‘Flair always kicks out’! LOVE IT!

Hey TEEF – Sheamus & Cesaro tried to bait it up for The Shield and it went wrong! Distraction roll up against the balding club for the win!

WROOOOOY! Balding Club clash with Sheamus & Cesaro! They didn’t last very long though… yo Vincent Kennedy – what did these guys do to p!$$ you off? What did they doooooooo?!!!!

Was you jabronies gonna start your noise when John Cena defeated Jason Jordan in a great wrestling contest???? I bet you was! #FOOL

Oh snap! Double R puts John Cena on blast! It took Cena 20 minutes to defeat Jason Jordan! Watch this – they will have Jason Jordan fight Double R next week!

WHOA! John Cena doesn’t respect Double R! But but but…. he defeated the Undertaker! At big big WrestleMania!!!!

Look at Cena – getting on the fans side!!! This could be Cena’s one chance to be cheered 100%!

Double R doesn’t respect Cena because he believes he’s talk and no action! But Cena been action  for about 15 years!!!!

I think Nia Jax genuinely listens to our own Shadfather! I’ve noticed her wrestling attire has become a bit more see through!grant-body-p

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Now THAT give me joke! Alexa Bliss tryna slap up Nia Jax but to no effect! Nia just looks pon her and screams, then Alexa screams in horror as well and tried to run gone! FANTASTIC!

Holy smokes! Now Emma and Nia are in the championship match at the No Mercy joint! YES! They failed to tell me that in these highlights! Backing Nia ALL THE WAY!

Nia just reminding Emma what time it is – Yes we won the tag match, but come No Mercy it’s every gyal for herself – Samoan drop to Emma – BLAOW!

As usual – the Miztourage tried to teef in the match between The Miz & Jeff Hardy for the World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Championship, the ref ketch them and ejected them out the building! But in the interest of fairness, Matt Hardy had to go as well!

But Jeff misses the Swanton Bomb, Miz responds with a Skull Crushing Finale – BLAOW! DAMNIT!

The Big Show! 7’2, was 500lbs of steaming monkey crap! vs BRAUUUUUUN!!! So here’s me waiting for the steel cage to brukk up!

Back in the day! Big Show’s super move was an elbow drop off the top ropes! THAT IS TRUE! No way… is he… NO….HE GOT HIM! BLAOW!!!!!

Wait a minute – not again! Braun setting up Big Show for a superplex off the top ropes!!! You know what happened last time!!!!

This time they reinforced the ring!!!! The match continues!

Braun hits the powerslam!!! 1, 2 and 3!!!! Surely Braun cannot be finished with him!

I KNEW IT! Braun picks up Big Show, and powerslams him through the cage!!! BRAUUUUUUUUUN!!! He should have said – I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!

I think this is how I’m gonna watch RAW in future, apart from Nia, Braun, Balor and Double R, all my favourite wrestlers are on Smackdown… maybe my illness did me a favor…

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1222, October 24, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

On this day, you wrestling fans can get your revenge! Why? I turned on my Facebook this morning, word up – seems like everybody on this Walking Dead thing. LOOK – I ain’t tryna watch no muthaf**!n zombies – OK! But damn this sh!t is real to you right? Yo wrestling fans – GET EM…

walking-dead-wack

Y’all know that muthaf**a who ‘dies’ said ‘cheque please’ and is not spending a dime on your crying @$$£$!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news… on this day… something is supposed to happen which changes wrestlers lives… er… enlighten me????

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RAW 1222! BROCCCCCCCCK!!!! WHAT YOU GONNA DO KID?

WWF PROPA TINGZ

Standing ovation for he who has the dreaded list! Now you can buy the T-shirt! YES!!! Fantastic!

He has terrible news? What? The triple threat match scheduled for the main event has been cancelled? Whoever cancelled it must go on the list!

Hold up – the list is stolen???? What sort of atrocity? Quick – call Dexter! Put the criminal on the table! This is not right!

Crowd chanting – ‘Where’s the list?’ Kevin Owens doesn’t care about the list! DISRESPECT!

Maybe Stephanie got the list?! Nobody must leave the arena until the list is found!

SERIOUSLY STEPHANIE! You need to come over here and let me lay you down and… ok I’ll stop!

SETH ROLLINS GOT THE LIST! DEXTER SORT HIM OUT!

UH-OH! Stephanie is on the list???? That’s not right!

KEVIN OWENS IS ON THE LIST TOO? GOOD LORD!

Oh god – I hope Seth doesn’t do anything drastic to that list! It’s Jericho’s livelihood! It’s more precious than the World Wrestling Federation Championship!

For real Balding Club? You gonna just shut down Enzo & Cass up like that?

Obviously shutting down the mic is no problem! They did their promo anyway and got over with the crowd!

Enzo Amore defeated Anderson! Balding Club lose again! Internet Wrestling Community HOW YOU DOIN?

GRANT BODY-P!

Yep – Rusev isn’t afraid of Hell In a Cell… course you aren’t… Sasha and Charlotte are going in there! And just like I said to those two sexy @$$£$, I’m gonna say the same to you Rusev – Undertaker is NOT your opponent!

To those who think The New Day have gone stale… you might as well go to the tattoo parlour and get ‘Trump’ tattooed on your forehead like the STUPID IDIOT you are!

dyam-arse-trump

This Cesaro and Sheamus sh!t is a repeat of Miz and Mizdow in a sense where you cheer one but boo the other relentlessly. You would think that they will become tag team champions, but given New Day’s 428 title reign (6 days away from the ‘sacred’ 434) I can’t see it happening.

Nice touches by WWE2K17 to make Cesaro’s Giant Swing and New Day’s Unicorn stampede OMG moves! Gives me an incentive to play as them, as if there were any doubt!

Kofi Kingston has learned a valuable lesson… never fly at Cesaro… you will run into an uppercut – BLAOW! His chin probably looks like James Ellsworth right about now!

GRANT BODY-P!

Jinder Mahal is actually killing me! ‘One must find the list, but first, he must find inner peace!’ Breathe in Breathe out! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! SUPERB!

Last time Bayley and Dana fought, there was some funny business that happened… they shall fight again! Bayley got that same sellotape on her shoulder that Cesaro got! Is there something going on there??? Answers on a postcard please – tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

Hold on – an arm wrestling match???? Yo creative – 2003 is THAT WAY! The crowd want wrestling – Not arm wrestling!

Dana Brooke TEEEEEEEF! Bayley was on the verge of beating Dana in a dry @$$ arm wrestling contest but Dana had to drop a cheap shot! Like I say – if they did this 15 years ago the crowd would be invested!

Jericho said he would never put Stephanie on the list… well the Grant says Stephanie, you are on MY LIST… The list of GRANT BODY-P!

Aaaaaah sh!t Curtis Axel get serious now! No more AxelMania Royal Rumble sh!t, no more social outcast bullsh!t, time to be that man Mr Perfect and his grandfather raised him to be! Brukk up Bo Dallas blodclart!!!!

That’s f**ked up! All that talk, all that fire in his belly, and Bo Dallas still beat Curtis Axel in his hometown? Er Vince… get the future endeavoured list out…

hiac-laidies

Braun Strowman has the list! He gave it him like… Sami Zayn is not on the list.. and after all that, Strowman made the list!

Oh dear the crowd didn’t like Roman Reigns promo to Rusev! Well you know Roman… he’s straight to the point, no-nonsense… no charisma either… oh well…

Titus – How you manage to wear good suit with those pink battyman socks? What sort of sh!t is that?

Contract signing between sexy @$$ Charlotte and sexy @$$ Sasha! OOOOH Charlotte’s figure… dayum she can join the list too! look at that tight @$$ outfit Sasha got on! She can join the list too! OHHHHHH!!!!GRANT BODY PHENOM

Thank god Mick Foley is true to himself, don’t wear those ridiculous suits or whatever it is WWE force you to wear!

That’s it Mick, let these women see sense about this Hell In A Cell sh!t, they think they fear nothing because they are not fighting Undertaker… seems like Charlotte ain’t listening! Maybe Undertaker himself should come out for real! Sound the gong… come on!

I know that’s what I would do if I was creative…

Foley is trying his best to let these women see reality…sounding a bit like Mankind himself…. he won the crowd over…he’s close to tears here! THIS SEGMENT IS OFF THE HOOK! Now sound the gong… Please!!!!!

They have signed the contract! It’s official! Man… it’s a damn shame Undertaker is not in the best of health as far as his hips. I would have flown him to Minneapolis and strike fear in these women, because if there is one thing I dislike, is WWE Superstars acting like they are not afraid of the cell and take this thing make joke.

Wow – Kendrick and Rich Swann shook hands before their contest! I guess it’s just a personal issue between Kendrick and TJ Perkins!

Wow – TJ says he and Kendrick had a contest 15 years ago, and Kendrick failed to beat him. So this is an ‘ether’ situation…

OH SNAP! Rich Swann defeated Kendrick! Er… can we make this a triple threat thing?

Braun Strowman finally gets better competition! Can Sami Zayn twist him up?

What? Braun doesn’t see real competition? Sami fought the best in Shinsuke Nakumura! He had match of the year with Cesaro! ARE YOU KIDDIN ME STROWMAN? YOU CAN’T WRESTLE NUH BLODCLART!

GRANT BODY-P! –

Strowman walked away from Zayn! Well the Grant Says – I know it’s the video game, but why don’t you take on Grant in WWE2K17? I assure you – YOU WILL GET BUSS ARSE!

Dayum Kendrick is desperate isn’t he? What – he asked TJ Perkins to ‘let him win’? Er Vince… the future endeavoured list!!!!!!

When you hear that guitar riff…. THAT’S IT! THE BEAST INCARNATE IS HERE! Yo – I never told Goldberg to say what he said the last week!

Now bear in mind, Goldberg gonna get booed because it’s in Brock’s hometown!

Oh no! Heyman just put wrestling fans on blast for being fickle! It’s like 80% are chanting Suplex City and 20% are chanting Goldberg!

I see somebody holding a Damian Marley poster! He knows what time it is!

I thought Brock had choice words for Goldberg, then again… bad man move in silence…

I forgot about this so-called Triple Threat match… if the title isn’t on the line, you know Owens and Jericho are gonna combine their force and mash-up Rollins!

Even though it’s gonna be a cheesy @$$ Halloween episode of RAW next week, we got Goldberg again! That’s good!

Rollins is certainly no Austin or Rock – they would be putting beats on Jericho and Owens!

‘No mortal man’s gonna beat them both’… Bryon Saxton obviously doesn’t do his googles er – hello – the two aforementioned guys? Triple TEEF maybe? Undertaker?????? Goldberg? BRROCCCK LESNAR???

HOW THE RARSE DID SETH ROLLINS PIN BOTH GUYS? Yo Saxton – your foolish statement should get you on the list!

Dun know Owens and Jericho didn’t like that sh!t – they rushed him! But Rollins still got fight left! But it only ended in Owens dropping the powerbomb to Rollins spine first into the hardest part of the ring apron – BLAOW!

That was a good go-home RAW.. here’s me thinking I would have to skip a segment and talk about this chick who WWE just gave a tryout to…

elena

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IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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NEW STC LOGO 2015

Monday Night Raw #1214, August 29, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

So… how was your Bank Holiday Monday?

I saw videos of police ‘daggering’ women at the Notting Hill Carnival… if you don’t know what that is, I suggest you hit the YouTube and type in ‘Dancehall daggering’… be warned – NOT FOR THE WEAK IN BED!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news: I’ll just leave this here…

IWC PRAYING

Some of you muthaf***az don’t even believe in God, so how you gonna pray hoping for Kevin Owens to win???? This is blasphemy people! I have nothing against Owens winning the World Wrestling Federation Universal Championship, but now those folks at Heelbook posted this, I’m hoping for the opposite! I’m all for seeing you fools angry over some sh!t!

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RAW 1214! ANYONE BUT KO! I CARE NOT FOR THE IWC!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

Now, if I go off on random subjects it basically means RAW is wack in places!

Kevin Owens – the clear favourite here by the crowd! Maybe his time is now!!!!

Big Cass – the dark horse! Not many believes he can win but I can see him bringing a great showcase!

Seth Rollins – with the most talk out of everybody! He’s a safe bet!

However, bad man move in silence… Roman Reigns ain’t saying sh!t! He’s just bringing the pain on all his opponents! That’s right – boo him! THAT’S THE MAN I’M BACKING!

Seriously I’m loving the new stages of RAW & SmackDown! Might be too late for WWE2K to hook it up on the new game!

Jericho’s promo was superb! Neville you are a don but you gonna get the gift of Jericho! You will drink it in!

Very interesting how RAW advertises a Smackdown PPV in Backlash on their stage…

OH NO! The New Day got their hands on Bayley!!!! Look at Bayley whining her hips! Does nothing for me but I bet it does a lot for you guys!

GRANT BODY-P!

They gonna be fighting Dana Brooke and the Bullet Club! This should be a very entertaining contest!

Now, Nia Jax ain’t like most girls… and that’s the type the Infamous Informer likes!!!! Shout out to her opponent from Texas… she kinda cute still… don’t hurt her too much Nia!

The Bullet Club have had a career change! Now they are carers for the retirement home? They are still on The New Day’s case! They recruited Dana Brooke as a nurse! Hey I’m all for sexy @$$ nurses but if Dana is anything like this woman pictured below… RUN HARD!!!!! DON’T LOOK BACK!

Lindsey

Hollyoaks fans – you feel me though right!!!!

Showing a feature on Seth Rollins – the question remains – is WWE2K17 going to keep the curb stomp? Answers on a postcard please – tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

Uh-Oh! Sasha just called Charlotte a coward! She lucky Charlotte didn’t go off on one just like the Miz did to Danny Bryan!

Talking of that – it will be addressed on Smackdowns this week! It will be very interesting to see where this leads!

The New Day – 372 days as W…W…E… TAG…TEAM…CHAMPIONS! Can they beat the reign  of Demolition? I seriously doubt it to be honest people, the competition is too powerful!

NAHHHH! When the New Day were doing the unicorn stampede, they should have let Bayley step in there and stomp a mud hole in Karl Anderson’s @$$ and walk it dry! Missed a trick there!GRANT BODY P

I gotta rate that sexy @$$ Charlotte on commentary, wearing that tight leather leggings complementing her legs…dayuuum! Make me wanna bark like DMX! Where my dawgs at – UFF-UFF-UFF!

GRANT BODY-P!

Bayley and The New Day win against Dana and the Bullet Club! The story here is about Bayley’s momentum, not the Bullet Club’s quest to claim the championships from New Day, so get your head out your arse jabronies!

What’s the score on this Cesaro Vs Sheamus thing? Answers on a p – actually f**k that – I have something better than that to talk about – this goes out to anyone in the area! A signing with friend of the STC – Ric Flair N!&&@!

RIC FLAIR WRESTLECADE

Say word? The winner out of this best of 7 series gets a future title shot? Good luck to them both, doesn’t matter to me! I’m still not watching this sh!t!

GRANT BODY-P!

Fans – friendly reminder – especially you UK fans – quit complaining about the frequent adverts while RAW is on. I know it’s frustrating as hell, but unless you air your grievance to USA Network, nothing will be done!

Massive respect to WWE putting together a package for Mr Fuji… he was so TEEF back in the day!

Aaah sh!t – the sexy @$$ Stephanie is out here to sort out this situation with Brock Lesnar…word is she fined him just $500! There was a parody ‘go fund me’ campaign to help Brock Lesnar pay off the fine!!!!

Now the crowd might be chanting ECW, oh sh!t they are chanting CM Punk! Wait – are we in Chicago? Why don’t they chant ‘F**k her right in the pu$$y’????

GRANT BODY-P!

Has Heyman got one up on Stephanie? She reluctantly accepted an apology, and left the ring… what happened to the defiant slap in the face? I’m not too sure why, but Heyman used a lot of big words – Harvard University style and said something about the ‘Board of Directors’… and it had Stephanie shook… but Heyman throwing dollar bills at Stephanie like she’s a stripper was comedy gold!

While Darren Young tackles Titus O’Neill (ahem…) I wanna introduce to you my latest lust interest… I don’t know what it is about this woman but I would tear her @$$ up!

jenny

Her name is Jenny Scordamaglia people… she’s on a channel called Miami TV…Youtube her @$$. She is the luckiest woman on earth – you know why? Because the Infamous Informer is a retired clubber… and had he be out there… it would be CURTAINS for Jenny Scordamaglia!

If you are familiar with the anime film above, that’s Jenny and I’m the demon. GRANT BODY-P!

Aaaaah sh!t it’s gonna go off! The main event! Roman Reigns! Kevin Owens! Seth Rollins! Big Cass! One of these muthaf***az gonna become te World Wrestling Federation Universal Champion!

WAIT! Big Cass – you can’t describe Seth, Kevin & Roman as SAWFT?!!!!!! Have you lost your mind?!!!!!

…AND THEY ARE UNDER WAY! I got my lilt drink, and my double choc biscuits!

Good lord these four are out to steal the show with big boots! mean clotheslines, flying through and over top ropes!

Look at Kevin Owens screaming at Mick & Stephanie like – IT’S MY TITLE! I don’t think Foley is gonna screw you out the title… I mean Foley of all people… he remembers Survivor Series 1998!

GRANT BODY-P!

A superman punch followed by a kick to the jaw bone and a frog splash off the top ropes and Big Cass is out the game! I knew he lost his mind!

Roman Reigns – you tryna hit too many superman punches! You not gonna win being so repetitive!

Crowd are loving this! All three men refusing to die!

WAIT A MINUTE! TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!!  He just drop the pedigree on Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins!

KEVIN OWENS! IN SHOCK! BUT HE IS THE NEW! UNDISPUTED, WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION, UNIVERSAL CHAMPION!

BACKSIDE!!! He snatched the belt from Foley and gave it to the prize-fighter! Even Stephanie is in shock! We don’t know what role Triple plays in all this draft business!

Calling it right now – Roman & Seth will combine their force to take out Triple TEEF! What if Triple goes to Smackdown and takes out Ambrose? This will be the trigger to turn Seth face! Seth could win Royal Rumbles and then he truly Redesigns, Rebuilds, and Reclaims his title at WrestleMania 33. REMEMBER I TOLD YA!

GRANT BODY-P!

 

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IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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NEW STC LOGO 2015

11030825_10205344040058724_718583399_o

Monday Night Raw #1211, August 8, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

DON’T GIVE ME JOKE!

So Puff Daddy is producing the soundtrack for the new game… I saw the track listing and it looks like this:

  • Action Bronson & Joey Bada$$ (feat. Rico Love) – “What About The Rest Of Us”
  • Anderson .Paak – “Come Down”
  • Andy Black – “We Don’t Have To Dance”
  • Axwell Λ Ingrosso – “This Time”
  • Black Sabbath – “Paranoid”
  • Bring Me The Horizon – “Run”
  • FIDLAR – “Drone”
  • French Montana (feat. Kojak Black) – “Lockjaw”
  • iSHi (feat. French Montana, Wale, & Raekwon) – “We Run”
  • P. Diddy, Black Rob & Mark Curry – “Bad Boy For Life”
  • Travis Barker & Yelawolf – “Out of Control”
  • Twenty One Pilots – “Ride”
  • Yellow Claw (feat. Lil Eddie) – “We Made It”

THE GRANT SAYS: Four things – 1, I’m interested to hear the Anderson Paak track. 2, I can confirm that the Action Bronson track ‘What About The Rest Of Us’ is a great track which was played on our very own RePPiN4U HIP HOP SHOW. 3, Wu-Tang fans gonna be mad as f**k when they find out Raekwon has collaborated with Wale & French Montana, not the first time Raekwon has sought commercial appeal, and 4 – Bad Boy 4 Life is automatically the best tune on the soundtrack! AND THAT’S THE TRUTH!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news: Did you see the Rio Olympic opening ceremony? Or more importantly – Did you see ANITTA?!!! The Grant Says – JENNIFER LOPEZ – MOVE YUH BACKSIDE! FIGURATIVELY  AND LITERALLY!

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RAW 1211! Why don’t they let the Infamous Informer do the hip hop side of the soundtrack and a rock soundtrack by a STC Member???

WWF PROPA TINGZ

What’s 10x better than a 20-minute promo by Triple TEEF? A 20 minute promo by Enzo & Cass! Now I feel sorry for Enzo here, because he was bussin skillz with Sasha last week…. then next minute we find out she got married! Sasha that’s cold baby girl!

Yes you cannot please everybody… I see a select few who are not feeling these two! I say HAND IN YOUR WRESTLING CARD! You attitards mean to tell me that you love everything that Road Dogg & Billy Gunn did back then but don’t rate this? YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. SERIOUSLY. GIVE ME YOUR CARD. YOU’RE DONE.

What we are seeing are four guys in Enzo & Cass, Jericho & Owens with top-notch mic skills! They are most likely to clash at the Summerslam joint!

Reading the twitter feed while  Jericho and Enzo are settling ‘It’, that is a good name – ‘JeriKO’… I can ride to that but only for this feud right here. I don’t want them to team for the long haul as Kevin Owens is too good for that. If he does I will compl… wait.. I’m NOT THAT GUY… I DON’T DO DRUGS!

The question remains – is Kevin Owens aware that Puff Daddy is in the building? Answers on a postcard please or tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

Jericho – how long have you been in the game – a good 20 years at best right? So why you thought you won when you clearly didn’t hear Enzo tap or the ref call that he passed out?

They say Big Cass had ‘no choice’ but to kick down Jericho… er yes he did…. Kevin Owens was interfering, so would it not make sense for Big Cass to kick down Kevin Owens????

OH NO! Rusev is gonna rub it in to the 40-year-old virgins of the WWE Universe that he’s banging Lana on a regular now he’s put a ring on it! If I was Rusev I’d rub it in too, and wish them another 40 years of getting no pu$$y!

GRANT BODY-P!

While Braun Strowman beats on another CAW from WWE2K17, I’ll take this time to talk about my newest crush, the Brazilian singer Anitta… see this gir….. what the match finish already? Oh OK! I’ll promise you guys a pic of this chick who in my opinion is out to dethrone J-LO!

Wait a minute – Puff Daddy is inviting Mick Foley & The Family to the Bad Boy Tour??? Mick got good taste in music – he asked if Faith Evans gonna be there! YES MICK you just scored points from me! Just for you, here’s one of my favourite Faith Evans tunes!

When this tune used to drop in the club back in the day, your Infamous Informer would brukk out! Women would challenge him on the dance floor… aaaah the memories…

Darren Young & Titus O’Neill are fighting again so I’ll continue my stories of my past clubbing career… I remember my ex from Preston… she said to me after the club that while I disappeared to the big man’s room, women approached her and told her how ‘lucky’ she was she got me… Well THE GRANT SAYS – all you women lose because I long retired from the clubbing scene and I have a woman who loves me as much as I love her! Go back to your ‘bad boys and wannabe thugs’ who treat you wrong because that’s what you like right???

GRANT BODY-P!

Finally – someone worth watching! The Great Seth Rollins!

Er yeah Seth – Finn Balor is right – you was playing Pokemon Go, (and maybe taking selfies of your todger) while everybody else had to fight for the spot… suddenly I’m not feeling this promo… I know he’s supposed to get me invested in his fight with Finn Balor but.. I dunno Seth! Try again kid!

Sheamus Vs Cesaro???? Did we have this match like – last week? YES WE DID! Oh lawwd… Mick Foley you are slipping on your commissioner skills!

So while they fight let me hit you off with the Smack Talk Centre’s official theme for Summerslam, a lot better than that Flo-Rida crap let me tell ya!

I love both Sheamus and Cesaro.. but it’s like, fans say they could watch Sami Zayn & Kevin Owens feud for months… I can’t say the same for these two…

Oh man they have built this contest good eh? Randall Vs Brock Lesnar… it’s true, there’s no history between the two other than they trained at OVW, and they both became the youngest World Wrestling Federation champion… Brock is right – Randall ain’t sh!t compared in terms of accomplishments, don’t forget – Brock did what Randall failed to do at WrestleMania, but let’s not get into that! That alone puts Brock in a league of his own. Brock is a machine, but Randall has voices in his head which makes him borderline psycho… what do you think guys?!!!

Can’t lie to ya – these wrestling matches are boring me this week… just thrown together, some of them are repeats from last week… no storyline or nothing…taht’s not like me – normally I find a positive outlook on RAW… perfect time to talk about my new crush – Anitta…

See here I was watching the Rio Olympics opening ceremony, when suddenly this woman graces my screen… when I tell you my jaw dropped and my Johnson stood at attention…

anitta-fala-sobre-ter-cantado-nas-olimpiadas

I thought – what a sexy gyal! WHAT A WOMAN! Then I took to YouTube and Twitter to find out more… YO THIS GYAL IS BAAAAAAAAAAAD PEOPLE! This woman can and will end your career if she twerks on you!

Ok this segment should give me the most joke! Let’s get back to Infamous Informer mode with this wedding ceremony between Rusev & Lana Machka!

Lana’s wedding dress though!!! she’s not supposed to show that much leg is she???? Hey I’m not complaining!

The question remains – will those two terrible singers come out to sing like they did for Triple and Stephanie?! Answers on a postcard please!

Rub it in guys! I’m just waiting for Roman Reigns to f**k it all up!

OH SNAP – The crowd chanting BORING!!!!! Oh my days!!! Yo Roman where you at rude boy?

Wait a minute – Roman Reigns gonna be the Best Man? Hold up – you know what that Best Man film is about don’t you???

Where has Reigns got these super mic skills from??? This is what I mean! Let Roman be Roman!!! He’s throwing shots left and right here!!!!

Rusev can’t take this sh!t – he goes and attacks Reigns! And look what happen – Rusev bumps into Lana and her face meets the wedding cake! NOW she looks magically delicious!

GRANT BODY-P!

Ok this is what I came to see! Sasha, Dana Brooke, Charlotte, you three sexy @$$£$ steal the show! Show dem how fi do it!Grant BODY RIO

Confirmed – Charlotte was champ for 309 days and never made a big deal about it…

See I would have seen the match, but my woman called me.. oh well, I could turn off RAW at this point, but NO… I don’t half @$$ my blogs to you wonderful people!

WROOOOOOOY!!!! OK that’s the best segment on RAW this week – Finn Balor’s promo on Seth Rollins, breaking down the legend of his name!!! Now THAT is how to get invested!!! Followed by another video promo by the Bullet Club who have ow discovered an epidemic called ‘ringpostitis’… LADIES! You do not want a man who suffers from that condition!

Even with Big E down, that doesn’t stop The New Day’s power of positivity… well apart from Luke Gallows… oh no they gonna give Kofi Kingston a case of RingPostItis – but Xavier Woods is like – f**k that – I will beat this chair into your chrome dome! (no chair shots to the head Grant) FOR REAL? Well kick the Bullet Club in their cratches then!

Yes, RAW wasn’t supposed to focus on the GMs, but Vincent Kennedy did also say – ‘even if you break the law’, and the crowd seem to love Danny Bryan!

I don’t get it – why would Rusev interrupt this segment right here? He looks dressed to fight! He can’t crush Danny Bryan? Has he gone insane? Cesaro – you are going about this the wrong way! Yes you would get a championship opportunity if you beat Sheamus last week, but the US TITLE was not what the IWC had in mind!!!!

Talking of Sheamus – he tried to teef!!! Cesaro hit the neutralizer super move but the ref was down! Cesaro had the match won!

Sheamus f**ked it up for Cesaro… well the Grant says.. RAW was boring this week, slow-paced, I thought Sasha, Dana and Char- Roman Reigns with a spear to Rusev at the end of the match – BLAOW!!!!

Ok as I was saying… RAW only started to get better 2.5 hours later in the show… that’s not good enough cretins! The quicker you get your cruiser weight jump off going the better.

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1203, June 12, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

It’s showtime!

She ain’t got no Money In The Bank
She be walkin round actin all stank
Now she at the party lookin at me
Hopin she could get saved by me
I’m lookin at her like I ain’t tryin to save that girl (NO SIR!!!!)
I ain’t tryin to save that girl (NO SIR!!!)
I ain’t tryin to save that girl
She got her hand open like I’m finna pay that girl!

In other news, Insane Championship Wrestling is coming to Smack Talk Centre’s home town of Wolverhampton Nov 4… well THE GRANT SAYS HE’S NEVER GOING! Y’all can enjoy yourselves…I don’t support that narstyness, one man take out his tings and put it in next man face and jerk it at the crowd, me nah pay mi munny to see a man privates! NO SAH!

GRANT BODY-P!!!!!

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RAW #1203! It’s about that time again people! THE RAW BEFORE MUNNY INNAH BANK! I GOT MY PEANUTS AND ICE CREAM… LET’S DO THIS SH!T!!!

It’s been called the biggest Money In The Bank this year???? I know they have to hype it up but that’s huge! Considering how the 2011 one was built up! It was like WWE was facing an apocalypse!

WWF PROPA TINGZThe New Day might be an addict for sneakers but I’m not so sure they can run through Enzo & Cass, the Vaudevillians and the Bullet Club so easy!

This is what we came to see! The New Day in a verbal sword skills contest against Enzo & Cass!

Enzo can’t talk about ‘Francesca’ like that???? She ain’t a slut like Stephanie????? Did someone throw the PG rating out the window?

I find it amusing how the Vaudevillians claim they are ‘quite manly’ when their wrestling attire looks too tight….!!

Did I just hear the bullet club be branded ‘SAWFT’???? I think I did! Do these guys know who they are talking to? They put the Japanese wrestlers on notice!

The New Day… 295 days as World Wrestling Federation tag team champions! They hang on another month, and they beat the record of Brian Kendrick & Paul London! With that said, I’m backing New Day ALL THE WAY  at the Munny Innah Bank!

Sometimes it shows that too much clowning doesn’t win you matches… Bullet Club – the only serious tag team, hit Kingston with the Magic Killer – BLAOW! BALL GAME!

This week! In the Ambrose Asylum – Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns! The Shield reunited! Well sort of… this segment right here could tell the story!

Now some of you wrestling fools actually made a meme and it looked like this:

foolish meme

See this is why you fans are NOT GOOD BOOKERS. You are NOT GOOD BUSINESS PEOPLE. Seth & Roman are in a feud currently for the World Wrestling Federation Championship this Sunday with Deano possibly in the middle. So how the f**k are the Shield on the same page? A match of this magnitude should be saved for a Summerslam or more likely Survivor Series…USE YOUR BRAAAAAAAAINNN!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh HELL NO! What is Ka- er I mean Glenn doing in his Sunday School trousers???? Actually he gave me joke – he gave Shane a letter of recommendation from The Undertaker????!!!! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH NOW THAT’S FUNNY!

Oh dear! Rusev with an ambush attack on Titus! He’s tryna take Titus out the game early! He put the belt in Titus face like ‘you never gonna get this sh!t!’ THAT’S how to build a US Title match!

mitb 2016

Ok let’s reunite The Shield!!!! Er… sort of!

Looks like Seth is not such a party pooper after all! He brought up all the good times! Got the crowd chanting Boo-tista, all sorts of sh!t!

Seth is giving Roman props! Why can’t you fans give him props! And Seth keeps it 100!

Great comeback promo by Roman!!!! You still not gonna give him props?

Even Deano just hit them with the warning! He could cash in his cheque and beat the both of em! He just hit the Dirty Deeds on Roman – BLAOW! Your dream match could well happen this Sunday at the Munny Innah Bank! It ain’t my dream match… my dream match happened April 1, 2012 in Miami FLORIDA! And it involved a special referee, a Cell and a man I hated in the attitude era and a man who is and always will ne the don of DONS!

GRANT BODY-P!

More flirting between Deano & Stephanie!!!! If anything happens… Renee Young… you know where to find me! On di twitter! @MZATheInfamous!

Question – if Paige keeps yelling ‘THIS IS MY HOUSE!’, does she pay the rent on that wrestling ring? Answers On A Postcard please!

OH SNAP!!!! Paige just pinned Charlotte! Right after Dana Brooke threw Charlotte’s fine self back in the ring! Get Paige a title match against Charlotte on Smackdown and make Paige lose! I wanna see Charlotte break the record of 301 days damnit! Then, I’ll long d!ck her, and break her ovaries!

GRANT BODY-P!

MUNNY INNAH BANK JUMP OFF MATCH! Sheamus Vs Apollo Crews! But Sheamus, kick down Wack Ryder’s teeth so far down his throat that Wack Ryder can’t say WOO WOO WOO any more!

Apollo Crews just rushed Sheamus!!!! He went in and beat out his blodclart!

Good lord what a counter technique into a sunset flip pin by Zayn! Even Cesaro wasn’t ready for that sh!t! Now to those who say wrestling is ‘dying’, get out the attitude era and shut the f**k up! In fact go to your room! Go and watch E3 or something…

GRANT BODY-P!!!

ufc20 mitb

FOR REAL???? This match is 15 years in the making? THE WWE GUY VS THE TNA GUY! It’s a contract signing!!! WrestleMania quality according to Mike Cole! Yeah man forget Las Vegas, let’s go back to Dallas Texas! Fill that muthaf***a up to 100,000+ again! Let’s do this WrestleMania 32.5 sh!t!!! Cena mentioning all other promotions where Styles won more than 15 championships! All we need is Undertaker! Brock Lesnar! Triple TEEF! The Rock! Goldberg!

Oh snap! There are two contracts… if AJ Styles signs the one with The Club at ringside… but he would be a member of the B!TCH CLUB! Cena you outta order & bright!

WHOA! AJ STYLES claims he would have been the man if he was in the WWE 15 years ago! I’m not so sure AJ because that dirty Triple Teef was the champ with Evolution! You probably would have been on Smackdown or something! You gotta keep it real yo!

Check it out! If Kevin Owens and Bertie cannot co-exist, then the Lucha Dragons would take their place in the munny innah bank ladder match! Oh well Lucha fans, you can have hope right?

Hang on – Kevin Owens was gonna walk out the match? I thought he wanted the briefcase? every week he’s like – That’s MY CONTRACT!

So hold on… Zayn is on commentary, Kevin Owens wants in, Bertie finds himself as timekeeper, so does that make Cesaro the special guest referee for this Deano vs Jericho match?

Nope – he gonna be the ring announcer… No Shane!!!! Referee would have been so much better!

Looks like Glenn is out of the running to run Smackdown as well… I don’t know why Shane didn’t put the testicle incident behind him – he’s a proud father of three isn’t he???

GRANT BODY-P!

Kevin Owens chatting a bit too much, and Deano slaps the headphones off Owens headtop!

We knew ruckus would break loose, but Cesaro is a joker isn’t he? fighting in his good suit and dark glasses like his name is Agent Smith!

Meanwhile Jericho climbs the ladder and claims the briefcase! Problem is, it was on RAW… YOU STUPID IDIOT!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1197, May 2, 2016

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

you’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own!!!!

I stand before you a man with a headache. You know those headache’s you actually enjoy, because you just celebrated history been made. Leicester’s premiership victory was like the Karate Kid fairytale. It was like the Redman & Method Man concert in Birmingham O2 Institute last week. It was like The Undertaker when he hit 21-0 against CM Princess Peach B!tch… (the sweetest streak victory in my opinion!) You know the women of Leicester are getting the most sex this week!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news, Roman Reigns is STILL your World Wrestling Federation Champion! And oh yeah – SHUDDUP!

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RAW #1197! By the way did I mention The Ryback is my favourite wrestler now??? HAHAHAHAHA GRANT BODY-P!

WWF PROPA TINGZStephanie you sexy as f**k but what’s in the bag? You bought the Infamous Informer something? a PS4 with Street Fighter V? You’re too kind!

Oh it’s for Shane… oh snap it’s that picture frame that Vincent Kennedy broke! Sheeeet – hang it up Shane (the picture that is!)

I don’t exactly understand why Kevin Owens wants to re-focus on the Intercontinental Championship… at the same time, I understand that Money Innah Bank soon come.

Where are the Gucci shoes Mr Cesaro??? Aaah sh!t he makes a case about been screwed out the Intercontinental Championship! LET’S DO THIS SH!T! Winner becomes #1 contender!

Don’t start the match yet – let me grab my pizzas from out the oven!

Oh dear – if The Miz & Maryse are gonna be so annoying at ringside, then no wonder Kevin Owens and Cesaro had to uppercut the glasses off Miz’s Money Maker! Sami Zany gets involved, then holds the Intercontinental Title in the air, and the spirit of Danny Bryan is felt in St Louis!

Meanwhile…Stephanie McMahon is seen flirting with Deano… and in the Ambrose Asylum… she says Deano can ask her anything… ANYTHING??? Deano rustling his hands like ‘now you’re talking’! GOD DAYUUUUUM! The first question I’d ask her.. is ‘can I get some pu$$y???’

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh hell naw they gonna team R-Truth with Tyler Battybwoy? I’m surprised Goldust doesn’t fancy him… Oh no he found a tag team partner… what a downgrade… Fandango went from Summer Rae… to an upgrade in Layla (which I might add – got Fandango on my bad side eternally) to Rosa Mendes, to Goldust???? This is the part where I take a long sheeeeet!

You can watch this video while I’m gone…

Yeah I know… random…

Due to Enzo being shut down temporarily, Big Cass becomes a New Day member for the week! That is cool! Now beat down these Vaudevillian fools! (the Dudley Boyz are not fools though…) It is a real shame that the tournament sponsored by Booty-Os got shut down like that.

This match is cool but where’s my favourite wrestler – The Ryback????!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

You know it would have been a mark out moment if Roman Reigns said ‘The question is, can the three of you take on the three of us?’ And instead of the Usos, Rollins and Ambrose appeared… but that can wait!

Oh snap! I wasn’t gonna write about this but Emma defeated Becky Lynch! WHOA! They are really changing sh!t up aren’t they!GRANT BODY PHENOM

HERE WE GO!!!!! This is what I came to see! Nope – not Ric Flair – not the Ryback – but the Ambrose Asylum! Do us proud Deano! Ask Steph the dirtiest questions!!!

Maybe he won’t… I mean… Renee Young though… and she wears a B.I.G. t-shirt…

Hmmm why is Stephanie acting so nice all of a sudden???? And is Deano playing mind games here?

Oh snap! Stephanie can’t cancel the Ambrose Asylum???? And she brought back the Highlight reel? But Steph – Jericho cusses you on a regular basis! Er… I don’t understand this!

FOR REAL! Titus O’Neill is back! He won’t touch Vincent Kennedy again! And there’s no League of Nations! and Baron Corbin enters the arena! There’s my champion! It would have been Titus but…

Battle Royal US title jump off! Winner fights Kalisto!

Hold up – Apollo Crews is in there! Er… I change my pick!

Wait a minute – Corbin is eliminated by Ziggler, and Apollo Crews eliminated by Sheamus… that makes things interesting!

Oh dear! Zack Ryder getting stamped out by the… can I call em League of Nations??? I could for about 20 seconds!

Ryder & Rusev – last guys in the battle royal! COME ON RUSEV! Don’t let this fool win! Rusev has DONE IT! Here comes Lana with her sexy @$$! Get back the title and start the second reign of terror!

Calling it now – Rusev defeats Kalisto… then John Cena comes back on Memorial Day because Lana & Rusev start calling the crowd ‘Stupid Americans!’ Just like that – Cena drops the AA on Rusev again and then the John Cena invitational starts again! Remember I told ya!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO! Turns out that Charles Robinson is apart of the Flair family! Lil’ Naitch! TEEEEEEEEF!!! It all comes together now! There’s something about that leggy Charlotte… ah that’s right – it IS her legs! You know I have a weakness for women with long legs! I gotta a song for you Charlotte and your long legs… it goes a lil something like this… bring your sexy legs here…

She keeps looking at me
So now she gon’ get it
She want it
And by the wonderful moaning
That makes a beautiful night, baby
What a beautiful life, baby!

GRANT BODY-P!

Uh oh – somebody is bex! I don’t think Nattie has come out to ch… or maybe she has… oh no she’s out to cuss Ric! Take it easy Nattie!

Why has Ric Flair took off his jacket???!!!! NO! Nattie put Ric in the sharpshooter! Watch his ticker! Because when the clock goes tick…

I smell an I Quit match between Nattie & Charlotte at the Extreme Rules joint! Don’t you!

Ok – I can ryde to a submission match… but Ric Flair banned from ringside? No Stephanie that’s preposterous! You need to re-think this!

Ok main event jump off! The Roman Empire Vs The Bullet Club! AAHHH SH!T It’s about to go down!

Bullet Club wins the ruckus! But Styles ain’t tryna use the steel chair! But he used it on the Usos! Roman saw it! Oh dear Styles you gonna get f**ked up!

OH SNAP!!! Roman sets Styles up, powerbomb through the table! BLAOW!!!! GOOD LORD! You don’t f**k with Roman’s fam!

Roman haters I put this to you… If you saw somebody beating on your family, would you or would you not snap and beat out that person’s blodclart? If you still boo Roman – YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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