Tag Archives: Cesaro

Monday Night Raw #1173, November 16, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Monday Night Raw #1173, November 16, 2015!!!

My dude Mike Knoxxxx at B.D.S.I.R. Network has done cartwheels all weekend! Half of facebook changed their profile picture, the other half b!tching and inadvertedly provoking race wars. Next thing I know, a 45 year old Infamous Informer comes from the future, comes to me and says this: “Genysis Is Skynet. The future is not set. There’s no fate but what we make for ourselves.”

Well the 35 year old (Present) Infamous Informer says: Can I at least watch the Undertaker 25 year special on WWE Network? At least if the world blows up I won’t need to see him retire. I’m not sure if I can take that sh!t!!!

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE! RAW #1173! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

wwf logoIt’s the go home show before the Survival Series… I sincerely hope RAW is off the hook this week… don’t let me throw up a babestation pic like I did last week! Word on the street is Paige Turnah and Clare Richards was on this week… I see you Ed mond Mulhall about to change the channel – FOCUS! This week, Roman Reigns fights Cesaro, a heartbreak match if I ever saw one, who Kalisto got? Oh he got Del Rio… uh-oh… Owens got Neville… argh man… Ziggler got Ambrose… well Ambrose is going through because Ziggler got beef with Tyler Sneeze… are all these matches jumping off on RAW? Only one way to find out! LET’S DO THIS SH!T!

AAAAAH SH!T this is how we gonna start this sh!t??? Druids coming to the ring??? Yo Wyatt YOU F**KED UP! When the Druids have to come out – YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE!

The Wyatts will never Rest In Peace? This ain’t no normal tag match stupid crap….

Oh HELLLLL NAAAAAWWWW!!! You mean to tell me that Wyatt turned the druids against the brothers and they folowing the buzzards too? Ok Wyatt boy you gone too far now! Damnit where Paul Bearer at? Can’t his everlasting HOF spirit do something here?

Neville & Owens, both former NXT adversaries… fight for a higher prize! This match should be off the hook!

Well we knew Owens was gonna advance… Neville needs another move besides the Red Arrow… once he gets that, it’s like JBL said when Owens hit the Pop-up Powerbomb: BALL GAME!

Damn they acting like this match between Charlotte & Paige goes back to April 2014 when Paige beat AJ Lee for the Divas title??? I wished they stopped with this Divas Revolution sh!t when they wake up and realise it was I, Infamous Informer, Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw, Grant Body-P! started it, (what did you do???) I had faith and never went to the toilet like you guys did – I supported the divas from day 1! You all followed after me so SHUDDUP!

Now I think about it… All Roman Reigns had to do was ‘be Triple H’s Man???’ HAVE YOU SEEN RmMAN’S WIFE TRIPLE TEEF??? She’s prettier than yours! and that’s saying something!

If your name is Nicola Hardwick – LOOK AWAY NOW…

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(Nicola might delete me off her facebook now…)

GRANT BODY – P!!!

R-Truth you gonna lose to this Tyler Sneeze…. you should Breeze through this fool! Oh hell naw – where my refreshments at…

I admit though – nice touch when he takes a selfie – his phone is connected to the titantron so that’s really good when ‘Summer Breeze’ takes a selfie after a victory…

I find it amusing how JBL & Mike Cole are promoting ‘Undertaker Week’ on the network straight after RAW… er, what if I told you, that Undertaker week has been available a few hours before RAW jumped off?! (Well this is pointless because by the time this blog goes out y’all already watching…)

Next match: Ziggler Vs Ambrose… Backing Ambrose here, lets be real – it’s leading up to the heartbreaking match – Ambrose Vs Reigns at the Survival Series…

YO! Ziggler with that mad ‘X-Factor’ on Ambrose from the top ropes… should have been curtains but Ambrose rolled out the ring!

I knew Ambrose was gonna win, but I thought Selfie Breeze was gonna f**k it up for Ziggler… Ambrose advances, he faces Kevin Owens at the Survival Series…that should be interesting…

AAAAH SH!T – If Ambrose wins the World Wrestling Federation Championship, he’s gonna turn WWE into the Ambrose Asylum!!! Do you see what I’m saying? Do The Knowledge people – it’s Ambrose Vs Reigns for the title! One of em turning evil for sure!

IT’S A NEW DAY YES IT IS!!!!

New Day got skullies now? NICE!!! Oh for real? I’d rock that skullie! Like how the time is cold! My near bald head cannot withstand the cold! It’s the One Year Anniversary of The New Day’s debut!!! It’s a celebration b!tch! Take a kick to the neck! F**k your film biatch!

GRANT BODY – P!!

Only joking – I got love for Ronda, and if she’s anything like he who celebrates 25 years with WWE, she will remember when Undertaker once said: “I will not let that be the last image of me that is remembered through the ages…” So with that said, let’s get a pic of Miss Rousey how WE would like to see her!

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You know who else I got love for? Melissa Joan Hart. But why would she f**k with Kevin Owens??? Lazy wrestler??? THE MAN BEAT JOHN CENA!!!! Sorry Sabrina, or Clarissa or whatever you call yourself these days…

Uh-Oh, what does that Triple Teef want from Cesaro??? This is the guy the fans voted for on WWE.Com, and it ain’t no IWC sh!t – this is the WWE Universe sh!t!

cesaro-to-winBut I still don’t get it – why isn’t the capacity crowd holding up Cesaro Section signs??!!! Cesaro connects with the fans right?

But check it – The Roman Empire is in the house! They love he who Reigns!

Here we go! Somebody’s heart gonna get broken! Is it gonna be the IWC? or is it gonna be Nicola Hardwick? Just in case you are curious who Nicola is, the links are at the bottom of the blog – REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A WEIRDO!

One thing is for sure: #WhoeverLosesIWIN!

Check it – Cesaro now wears knee pads… maybe that’s what Triple meant when he said – ‘Maybe you need that extra something Cesaro’!!

GRANT BODY-P!!

Did you see that spectacular cartwheel off the top ropes by Cesaro? I’d give him the title just for that! That was some Strider sh!t!!!

Cesaro, springboard off the top ropes, and a flying uppercut to Reigns chin bone – BLAOW! DAYUUUM!!!

Man… Cesaro is killing it! Caught up in the giant swing, into a sharpshooter, into a crossface and Roman Reigns STILL got out of it! ooooh the IWC will be mad about that one…

This is crazy because Roman is using counter technique against Cesaro! He’s playing defensive-offensive!

Reigns went for the Superman Punch, but Cesaro clocked it – Uppercut while Reigns was mid-air! SH!T!

What a crazy sequence of moves! But unfortuantely, Cesaro lose again… Ok IWC fans change your profile pic to the Swiss Flag… PrayForCesaro..

GRANT BODY-P!!

…and a show of respect… what did I tell you earlier? Whoever Loses – I WIN. I always WIN. You can never defeat, The Grant! IMPOSSIBLE!

The Wasteland ain’t sh!t compared to DudleyVille! Truth be told I don’t want the Ascension to be future endeavoured or sent back to NXT – all they need is good storyline to back em. You can’t just throw them in the ring and get brukk up every week? But I do support Boots to Illuminati!

Aaaah dayuuum! Lillian going full Spanish to announce Kalisto and Bertie? Do I have to fix my trousers like The Rock again???!!!

Suddenly I think Bertie gonna lose this match, I have a feeling Swagger gonna f**k it up for Bertie… the feud is lit again this time for the US Title…

NOPE!!! Kalisto was denied!!! Bertie faces Roman Reigns! That should be an interesting contest…

Note: Sheamus is nowhere to be seen… I’m just saying…

But now… Charlotte and Paige must sign the contract for the Divas championship…

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Look how Paige cocks her foot up on the table… I hope she falls off the chair and lands on her backside!

GRANT BODY -P!!

Is it me or is Charlotte making herself more attractive ever since she won the championship? Hey it works for me – can’t believe she said she wanted to be like Paige…

One thing about the Infamous Informer, he is not an emotional man… I can’t stand to see all this crying and bullsh!t… X-Factor is THAT WAY CHARLOTTE!

How the f**k is Paige gonna run down Ric Flair??? #WrestlingIsStoryline but I can’t stand her, I lost respect for her, she come from a wrestling family herself… F**K PAIGE. She ain’t SH!T.

Well at least Paige is doing her job really well.. I can’t think of another woman I really hated in the WWE… But Charlotte, she run down your family… you know what that means? If you have to get disqualified just to f**k up Paige, you know what? I don’t blame you! About time this little b!tch learnt manners and got knocked the f**k out like Holly did to Ronda!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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Monday Night Raw #1170 October 26, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

“AIN’T NO STOPPING ONCE THE GUNS GET TO POPPIN, BY THE TIME YOU REACT YOUR BODY’S DROPPIN, BLEEDING, COUGHING, SOMEBODY NEED A COFFIN, AND THAT’S A DAMN SHAME!” (Bishop Lamont, Shoot Em Up, 2015)

From what I heard from Hell In a Cell, Brock was bleeding, but the person who needed a coffin was the Undertaker! The whole Wyatt Family beat him down and carried him away after the match… I hope they know what they’re doing… it took 4 men (Plus Brock) to destroy the Don of Dons, but Undertaker is ONE MAN. Who is the TRUE Face of Fear? I put that to YOU!

I’m on catch up, WWE.Com will tell the Infamous Informer how it went down! RAW #1170! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZOk, this is how it goes down. 4 matches set up. The winner advances to the Fatal 4 Way jump off. The winner faces Seth Rollins for the World Wrestling Federation Championship at the ‘Survival Series’. (Shout out to Spotface!) The San Diego crowd love the contest between Reigns & Kingston. They love the contest between Owens & Cesaro. Reigns & Owens advance so far… I already have a feeling where this is going…

What was that? Every TALK SHOW wants a piece of Paige? Well the Grant says I can’t speak for Fox Radio 1340am Hopewell but STC from the UK sure as hell DON’T WANT A PIECE of your undernourished @$$!
GRANT BODY-P!!!

Seems as though there’s a reconciliation with PCB??? I dunno it doesn’t look settling from where I’m sitting in the University of Wolverhampton!!!

BELLADASHIANS! What a way you look nice in your lil’ white & red wrestling attire!!! Make me wanna slap it up two-time!

Oh so the PCB are working powerfully! Show the Belladashian dem how to do it!WWE2K16 GRANT BODY -P!

Good reverse psychology by Brie…”You want Becky???” The crowd would chant YES… but if they did, Brie would kick Charlotte on the Danny Bryan tip! Luckily the crowd clocked on and chanted NO! As she kicked Charlotte in her chest!

Oh man! I have yet to see somebody kick out of Nikki’s rack attack super move… (We know some NXT women who can Grant) I’ll keep it in mind!

Hol on…. Paige – TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!!!!!!!!!! She has truly turned evil against Charlotte & Becky!!!! Kicked dem down, hit em with the RamPaige super move and got Charlotte in the Paige TapOut Submission move! I HATE THIS UGLY FALSE T!TT!£D B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TCH!!!!!

If this leads to a Divas title match at the Survival Series… I hope Charlotte twists this b!tch back to Henglan! Then my sister can F**K her up some more!
GRANT BODY – P!!!

BIG UP BERTIE! NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION United States…CHAMPION!!! Drop the BOMB on em!

What I don’t get is… I thought Zeb Colter don’t like people crossing the borders so why is he supporting a man he accused of doing that??? Wack Swagger ain’t gonna like this surely?

What made Colter change his tune? He said John Lennon talked sense into him with a tune call ‘Imagine’… you sure it wasn’tDr.Dre & Snoop Dogg???

It’s all about MexiMerica now! I can ride to that… maybe Colter was locked up in jail and got ‘American History X’ in the shower…

GRANT BODY-P!!!

Bertie defeats Neville in another good contest… oh I remember! Lillian can announce him in Spanish again!!!! It’s a NEW DAY, YES IT IS! (Pun intended!) Bertie advances!

With that said, let’s emblazon a pic of Lillian’s fine @$$ (literally) to remind us why The Rock had to fix his trousers…

Lilian ass

THINGS I WANNA DO TO DAT @$$!!!!

Check this out from WWE.Com’s own Anthony Benigno:

“There might be something to this international coalition of pain that Rusev, Sheamus & King Barrett have cooked up. Not only have the foreign menaces dispatched of Dolph Ziggler, Cesaro & Neville, but they also rebounded from a disappointing showing at Hell in a Cell Kickoff to roll over Ryback & The Dudleys on Raw in a battle of the collective losers from Hell in a Cell.”

Has creative finally clocked on to a storyline which was in the WWE’12 Videogame? I smell a Survival Series traditional match in the oven don’t you? It just needs extra seasoning…

Hey you got a new rocking chair Wyatt! NICE! It would be a shame if someone set fire to it…

RAW_1137_Photo_258-3166632548WHAAAAAAAAAAT??!!!! The demise of the Undertaker has become Wyatt’s resurrection??? Wyatt you wait til I get WWE2K16… I’LL FIX YOU!!! I ain’t placing my hand on my television set?!!!! I’ll place my fist in your mouth though Wyatt!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

OHHHHHHHHHH SH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!T!!! FYYYYRE! IT’S KAAAAAAAANNNNE!!!!!! Come on Kane! DESTROY WYATT! He OUTTA ORDA & BRIGHT! BEAT OUT HIS BLODCLART!!!

How dare Wyatt stay in his seat! MUTHAF***A!!!

A wha de? The Wyatt bwoy dem, double chokeslam to Kane – BLAOW!!!

They took off with Kane just like they did his brother!!!!

I gotta round up my clan and destroy these fools!

SAM_4404

On a real – I LOVE THIS STORYLINE! Have creative handed the keys to the Wyatts as well???

Do the knowledge – Ziggler & Big E fighting for the final spot in the Fatal 4 Way #1 contender main event… Tyler Breeze and Summer Rae are watching at ringside… as I see that, I already knew Ziggler ain’t gonna be the #1 contender… but a future contest between Breeze and Ziggler would be fantastic… shame I’m not a fan of either of em…

GRANT BODY – P!!!

HAHAHAHAHAAHA!!! Big E taking a bite out of Tyler & Summer’s food while he’s fighting!

Hey, if creative handed the keys to New Day, don’t you think Big E should incorporate a 5-Count when he pins his opponent’s shoulders to the mat??

It just breaks my heart knowing that soon Ambrose and Reigns will collide… I see Ambrose telling Reigns how close he is to the title before getting screwed…I seen it though… like a Zenith, you know what I mean?

I see you Miz! Rocking the WWE2K16 game! I got mine!!!! (Well I’ll have it Friday) GET YOURZ! But don’t act like you badder than Austin, Miz… he can’t fight but he can still drop stunners and mudholes on ya and walk it dry!

Big up Seth Rollins! The current World Wrestling Federation Champion! It doesn’t matter to him who he faces at Survival Series – he defeated my hero Kane… I’d be feeling good too if I was him!

OH SNAP! Kevin Owens and Ziggler tried a big super plex on Bertie, but Bertie fights out of it, then Reigns with a superman punch to Bertie outta nowhere – BLAOW! Ziggler with a super kick to Reigns! Owens comes through with a suplex to Ziggler! Owens is feeling it! Cannonball to Ziggler! But as he drops another cannonball to Bertie, Reigns hits Bertie with his running front drop kick from the outside!

Owens & Reigns square off! The crowd is going nuts! Owens about to hit the pop-up powerbomb, but Reigns uses counter technique – Superman punch to Owens jawbone!

Reigns comes off the ropes – SPEAR to Owens – BLAOW!!!! Roman Reigns – NEW #1 contender!!! The women’s panties are wet!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

Shout out to STC’s Felix Pizarro – he seems pessimistic about WWE’s direction to big BIG WRESTLEMANIA 32… We still In October! How does he figure that? WrestleMania 32 is in APRIL!!!! I’d love to hear from him…DON’T YOU???

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

NEW STC LOGO 2015

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Thanks to the Infamous Informer for the use of his great scribings which we have the honour

of having here on www.cageamateursuk.com

Monday Night Raw #1160, August 17, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

OHHHHHH SH!!!!!!!!!!!!!T!!!!

I had to watch this again rude boy… Come on WWE… NO WAY can you make this a one on one wrestling contest… I want CHAIRS! TABLES! STEEL STAIRS! SHOVELS! FIGHT IN THE CROWD! FIGHT ‘TO THE DEATH’!!!

BRRRRROCCCCK LESSSSNARRRR! THE UNNNNNNDERTAAAYYYKERRR!!! One does not simply break the streak and lives! #1160! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

wwf logoWe in Brock Lesnar’s hometown! The roof gonna go off in this b!tch!!! Throw the PG rating out the window from NOW!!!

Before we know that Raw is gonna be Off The Hook… it doesn’t hurt to endure a 20 minute segment of Triple H saying absolutely NOTHING-ERRR!!!

As for Stephanie… damn you know Triple is pulling that long hair when he rides it in!!!

How can a match be bigger than WrestleMania??? That doesn’t make any sense???? I understand the hyping part… but f**k it – I’m not complaining!

Contract signing! an F-U into the contract table? A Curb St- er I mean a Pedigree through the contract table??

Hold up – Champion Vs Champion in Nikki Bella Vs Sasha Banks!!! Ok that’s changed everything!

The host of Summerslam is Jon Stewart? Er nah – F**k that – the HOST of Summerslam is none other than me – Infamous Informer, Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw, The Daywalker, Ladies Favourite Man In the Purple Suit – GRANT BODY – P!!!

Hold up – didn’t Seth Rollins have a beef with Jon Stewart???? Er… UH-OH!!!!!! Maybe Stewart should be the special guest referee for the Cena Rollins match???? DO IT WWE!!!!

AAAAH SH!T!!! Even Jonathan Coachman from ESPN will be covering the Summerslams!!!! There’s your dumb dirt sheets for ya… you d!ckheads thought he was coming back huh??? What was that? You were getting the WWE Network if Coach comes back??? You bumblehead fool – GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

Now, Cesaro and Randall team up… that’s cool. Kevin Owens & Sheamus team up… hmm how long will this last?

The fans chanting ‘You Look Stupid…’ Sheamus is like – RESPECT THE HAWK! Yeah muthaf***az! If you can respect the beard… you can respect the Hawk!!! (Oh wait…)

We got fans with representing the ‘Cesaro Section’… You still think he’s missing something Vince????

OHHHHHHHHHH SH!!!!!!T!!! THE DON OF DONS WILL SPEAK!

“When the grym reaper calls your name, there is no apology…

When the grym reaper calls your name, there is no remorse…

…BROCK LESNAR, YOU WILL NEVER REST IN PEACE…”

AAAAH SH!!!T! This Lesnar dude gonna burn in hell!!!!

SAY WHAAAAT???? If Seth Rollins beats John Cena at Summerslams, he will have his own statue in the WWE Headquarters???? ooh I can’t wait to get on the STC Predictions show on BDSIR Network!!!!! Anyone who tells me that Seth Rollins gonna win…. oh boy oh boy!!!!

Gotta love Ambrose handing Wyatt a chair and warning him if he makes one false move… Ambrose gonna f**k him up!!! What’s wrong Wyatt? You miss your rocking chair that Abigail gave you? That’s what you get for f**k!n around with the true DON OF DONS!

YO!!! BIG RESPECT AND BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUT TO THE STC ADMIN – IAN ANTHONY COOPER A.K.A. #MRSELFIE! SALUTE THIS MAN!!! (But not the tattoo on his arm hahahahaa!)

Thankfully the PWL Money In The Bank briefcase is covering that abomination of a tattoo!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

After so many power moves from Luke Harper, one superman punch and a spear later – BLAOW! Reigns wins! Ha – the Roman haters gonna hate that one! Well f**k you!

I so want Tamina to defeat Becky Lynch in this contest… but I know it won’t happen… I’d do the bogle if Tamina won!

Fans chanting Happy Birthday to Paige… yeah well… HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARCUS GARVEY!!!! SALUTE TRUE GREATNESS!

Oh well…. no bogling for me tonight… there is still Nikki Bella Vs Sasha Banks… backing Sasha… but in a strange way… I want Nikki to win… #DoTheKnowledge

Mark Henry you’re my dude but real talk – put the American Flag down! Cena already closed that chapter with Rusev…

How the f**k is Summer Rae gonna call Lana a gold digging whore??? Lana helped Rusev earn that medal – Summer Rae is trying to live off the medal… f**kouttahere!! Just open your legs and let me put it in!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

I love the Bulgarian flag when it pops off with Rusev looking serious on that sh!t!!!! I wished it was done for Summerslams though…

Lana calling out Summer Rae??? We gonna see Lana’s little panties again??? Why have I got this feeling that Ziggler fool is gonna show up!

THERE YOU GO!!! Ziggler! Kicks down Rusev – BLAOW! Lana! kicks down Summer!!! BLAOW!!!

MAKE THE MATCH AT SUMMERSLAMS DAMNIT!!!

I’d rather see a big dude punch thru school buses on a film called Vendetta than a queer-looking dyam arse who thinks he’s a marine! In the meantime I want he who likes to be fed more to shell shock the Miz like he’s Shredder to the Turtles!

OHHHH Ryback wants The Big Show! Your eyes might be bigger than your belly Ryback!!!!

Big Show is like – nah! GO AHEAD AND STAAAAAAARRRRRRRRVE!!!!

Dayuuum is that a marble table???? Ok guys no physicality! gotta be 100 for Summerslams!!!!

Imagine if Rollins did defeat Cena??? I’d chip in and build that statue myself! Hell – I’m sure all the Cena haters would get in there and work hard!

For real? Cena held the WWE Universe hostage for a decade? He’s a disease??? WHOA!!! Rollins injected the serum! Rollins is the cure!!! Cena haters are masturbating right now! YES – the same haters who also said – Rollins is not a good champion! Guess what b!tches! #WhoeverLosesIWIN!

Oh damn Cena put Rollins on blast! Hand picked by Triple… and the fans don’t say sh!t about him! Oh lawwwd… Cena put The Rock on blast before – how many guys can say they have done that?!

AAAAH SH!T Cena said he’s gonna do something that will haunt TRIPLE for the rest of his life! He SAID IT! He will become champion for the 16th time!!!!! Oh lawwwd he’s talking about Ric Flair…. Aaaah sh!t this is not cool!!! Triple was never Ric Flair’s b!tch!!! Why have I got this feeling Ric Flair gonna appear at Summerslam????

Can’t make out if the crowd are chanting NEW…DAY ROCKS or SUCKS!!! How can you NOT like the New Day??? And Kofi’s clap is funny as f**k!

10 matches announced. The card is complete! the question remains – who gonna be the kick off match??? Or is there one??? Well true say we don’t need to worry about a HOF segment or a musical performance which is usually wack…

RECORD SKIP??!!!! Did Wade Barrett just refer to himself and Stardust as the ‘Lords of Darkness’??? and the Don of Dons is in the building????

Beautiful Lady, Go Ladies, Lovely Lady, GO LADIES! Lovely Ladies! GO LADIES!

Ok this is the match I’m looking forward to! Nikki Bella vs Sasha Banks! #WhoeverLosesIWIN! I always win!!!!

AND HERE WE GO!!! Show dem how to do it Sasha!

Sasha killing Nikki right now! And she’s dropping press ups – LIKE A BOSS!!!

Even Nikki is stepping her game up again with her fighting style!

HOLD UP! Sasha got the Bank Statement super move on Nikki! Nikki tapping out! AAAAAH SH!T – do you know what this means? Wait – let me do the knowledge…

It could be a long shot, but at NXT Takeover Brooklyn, it’s Nikki Bella who interferes and costs Sasha the NXT Title, thus Bayley winning. But I don’t think NXT is about that storyline sh!t so, I still see Sasha losing… then next week’s RAW or any RAWS after that or Night of Champions joint, Sasha will LOSE against Nikki for the Divas title… extending her campaign for 300+ days… who will break that reign? CHARLOTTE FLAIR. Remember I told ya!

DAMN LIKE I SAID – THE ROOF HAS BLOWN OFF! CONFETTI ALL OVER THE SHOP!

NO!!!! PAUL HEYMAN HAS A HYMN! HE’S SINGING GLORY GLORY BROCK LESNAR!!! NOW THE BELL HAS TOLLED! YOU DUN IT NOW!

Oh hang on – Mind games… it’s the Undertaker – who is getting booed – but that’s ok – it’s in Lesnar’s home town… It’s all good!

I thought Brock was gonna do all the talking! Oh sh!t – the bell tolled again!

THE DON OF DONS! Ok so he’s getting booed – NO PROBLEM… because Summerslam they in Brooklyn – not Minnesota!

Dolph Vs Rusev! Sheamus Vs Orton! Fatal 4 Way Tag Title Match! Ryback Vs Miz Vs Big Show IC Title! The Shield Vs The Wyatts! Owens Vs Cesaro! Stardust and Barrett Vs Neville & Green Arrow! PCB Vs B.A.D. Vs BellaDashians! John Cena Vs Seth Rollins! BRRRROCCCK LESSSNAAR Vs THE UNNNNNDERTAAAYYYYYKERRRR! They are all…

TRIBES AT WAR!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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Monday Night Raw #1156, July 20, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Wrestling Blog logo

FOR REAL??? FOR REAL?????? The Don of DONS???!!!! The last time Undertaker made a crazy return like that was Judgment Day 2000. Crowd went nuts. Now, to those select few who booed that moment because they wanted to see a traditional title match… first off, SHUT THE F**K UP. Second. SHUT THE F**K UP. Third, WRESTLING IS STORYLINE. I would do the knowledge for you now but I won’t get into that – wait until this week’s STC From The UK show on BDSIR NETWORK.

Suddenly Summerslam is gonna be OFF THE HOOK! I am him – Infamous Informer – Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw – The man in The Purple Suit – Grant Body – P!! RAW #1156: HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZFOR REAL VIRGIN MEDIA? You know my boy is on, and you just gonna cut me off like that? Here’s my £53.55 muthaf***a – now go and get yourself some chips with yo’ broke @$$!

SOURCE: WWE.COM / YOUTUBE

OOOOH SH!T!!!!! THE DON OF DONS IS HERE! Talk about breaking the 11th Commandment, Brock Lesnar broke the streak – THE ULTIMATE HOLY GRAIL. Shattered people’s childhoods… to this present day, my fellow Undertaker fans will not let it burn… maybe they have a reason.. because Undertaker gonna use fist and fire to f**k up Brock & Paul Heyman!

I knew Heyman should have shut the f**k up after last year’s WrestleMania… I knew it… I tried to warn him…

It’s only logical right? Ever since the streak brukk… NO ONE CAN BEAT HIM… and since Rollins never pinned Lesnar, since Reigns never became that guy as originally intended, It’s down to ONE MAN to conquer the conqueror… the Don of DONS himself!

MAN OR BEAST: YOU WILL REST IN PEACE!!!

Granted no one asked for this rematch but when you do the knowledge it was YOU THE FANS who wanted certain things, and with that…. Lesnar’s blood is in YOUR HANDS!SAM_3844

We got team B.A.D. (My team…) Team Bella (just supporting the 300 days… we still going y’all!!!) so.. er… what’s your team Paige? Don’t tell me it’s Team Paige??? YO Charlotte, Becky… TALK TO YO GIRL!!!

Haha Brie on that Yes! Kick flex! She might as well have all of Danny’s move set because we won’t be seeing him for a while! At least Danny said he WILL return… Wrestling fans – GET YOUR SH!T RIGHT – DON’T BELIEVE EVERY WEBSITE YOU READ FOOL!

Damn Brie??? Is Sasha that fine that you gotta blow a kiss to her??? I mean I don’t blame you but Danny don’t get down like that…. BUT I DO!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Damn That figure 8 super move will f**k up a b!tch real quick!!!! Congratulations Charlotte… I don’t think Brie can give birth after that!

I GOT IT! That team will be Team IWC B!tches!!! It makes sense! That’s the team the IWC will back in general. They ‘hate’ the Bellas, they could care less about Naomi/Tamina/not so much Sasha… so that’s where the ‘brothers’ come in! We like ALL the women, (Paige not so sure) but we WILL BACK THE BOSS! We WILL BACK THE SNUKA LEGACY! we WILL BACK NAOMI’S @$$ UP!

FOR REAL PTP??? You mean you defeated the New Day at Battleground but cannot best Los Matadores? Do you realise what you’ve done? Los Matadores get a title shot at your @$$£$! And the New Day are laughing and doing the two-step about it!

Good call by WWE to take off the I.C. title match to showcase the divas, and put Big Show Vs The Miz on Raw instead on RAW….

Wait a minute…. no…..NO!!!! That’s 500lbs of steaming monkey crap on the top ropes!!! Miz get outta there! Think about your family!! Maryse!!! cover your eyes! Elbow drop off the top ropes by the Big Show – BLAOW!!!!!! I don’t ever recall Big Show ever doing that…. EVER!!!!!!

Big Show says he’s going to Tough Enough to punch all the contenders (minus the laydeez) through school buses!!! THE GRANT SAYS – Those who got eliminated early are the lucky ones!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh sh!t – Paul Heyman has chosen not to shut the f**k up! And you know what? That is a GOOD THING! Nothing like listening to one of the promo kings of this sh!t! Wait til WWE put together the promo vid for this, or rather, wait til DELBUSTO puts it together!

YOU CAN SELL YOUR SOUL TO THE DEVIL, BUT YOUR @$$ BELONGS TO BROCK LESNAR!!!

Holy sh!t!!!! I think the creative team got it right this time!

Look at Heyman’s face!!! (0:45) Damn that is mean!!!!!

OH SH!T!!!!! What happened to your mean mug Heyman???!!! The Undertaker gonna f**k you up after all that sh!t talking!!

PLEASE! I HAVE CHILDREN!!!

Do you realise Paul I am cracking up at my university right now!!! How does Undertaker keep a straight face???!!!

BECAUSE HE’S THE UNDERTAKER!!

(BROCK’S MUSIC HITS) Wait a minute – Mike Cole – JBL – you supposed to call the action! Not run off! I’m tweeting Vincent Kennedy right now!!! (Or maybe not… I’d do the same thing! ME GARNE!!!)

SH!T! Triple Teef is bringing the security!!! LET THEM FIGHT!!! THIS IS PERSONAL!!!

THE UNDERTAKER! BROCK LESNAR!!! BEATING DOWN THE SECURITY! MUTHAF**K!!!!!

The Security is not enough! Triple Teef! Calling for the locker room!

How the f**k did Brock escape all those stars and get The Undertaker like that!!! Yo this is one of those moments where I want the Undertaker to soar over the ring!!!!

BROCK: I’M GONNA KILL YOU!

UNDERTAKER: YOU GONNA HAVE TO!

…and Virgin Media denied me of watching this???? What was that Nathan Webb? Undertaker should retire??? GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! JR WOULD HAVE BEEN ALL OVER THAT SEGMENT RIGHT THERE!!!

Now back to normality – (if you can call it that…) It’s the Wyatt man dem Vs The Shield Part II…Ladies favourite Roman Reigns Vs Luke Harper… Wyatt ain’t got his rocking chair no more, Ambrose at Ringside. Just shows how wrestling fans love to read – getting angry at WWE doing Brock Vs Roman Reigns as the main event… hahahaah you b!tches! Wyatt is still on that ‘Anyone But Reigns’ deal… so with that said, who is gonna be Seth Rollins opponent at Summerslams???

This wrestling contest has turned into a brawl as well! Come on Triple – get in there – call the Calvary!!!

Er…. John Cena???? UH-OHHHH!!! I like this!!!! I bet the IWC hate it!!! Calling it now – Champion Vs champion – Winner Takes All, which means that Cesaro won’t get pushed… ohh BOO-HOO!!! SHUDDUP!!! Ooooooh who shall I back??? Maybe I should back Cena…. go for the 2nd Ultimate Holy Grail – 16 TIME WORLD CHAMPION!!! Imagine that!!!

#WhoeverLosesIWIN!

Time for more laydeez action! Team IWC b!tches Vs Team B.A.D.! Where’s my purple suit…

The MAN in the PURPLE SUIT!

Come on Team B.A.D. Show them how to do it! The Grant Says, I think they should make Team W.A.M. consisting of Natalya, Layla and…er let me think… Emma maybe? initials stand for W.hat About. Me!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Did Becky just try a RVD Rolling Thunder to tag Paige and it epic failed??? HAHAHAHA! COME ON SASHA!!!

Sasha hits the Back Stabber, goes in to the Bank Statement submission move locked in on Paige! TAP YOU B!TCH!!!! TAP!

YES!!!! That’s my girl!!!! Where’s your revolution now Paige? Ha! Team IWC B!tches!!!

(Note: I got love for Charlotte & Becky Lynch… not sure if I like Becky’s surname….)

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Maybe you gotta hold fire on the main event for Summerslam Grant… you got Kevin Owens, Sheamus and Rusev Vs Cena, Cesaro, and Randall in 6 man tag team action… lets see where this goes…

OH SNAP!!! Owens knocks Sheamus off the apron! Sheamus don’t like that sh!t! He’s like f**k you Owens! I’m taking this briefcase and going to my yard! Ha – kids!!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Owens got no one to tag because Summer Rae suck!n Rusev d!ck!!!

OH MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Oh dear!! Owens don’t like that Rusev was getting hed at ringside and kicks him down! Suddenly the words FINISH HIM! Arise over Rusev’s head… OHHH SH!T!!!

WTF – I didn’t notice that Summer Rae was biting Lana’s clothing! Summer Rae wants to rock the blouse & skirt??? Looks nice but your body is not tight like Lana!!!

Did you perverts get another shot of Lana’s panties??? Damn… I pity you wrestling fans!

…and Lana fixing her blouse & skirt after she fights…. I LOVE IT!

Cena hit the AA/FU on Rusev! Cesaro, picks up Rusev by the legs and swings him around! Catapult into the RKO – BLAOW!!!! RUSEV DEAD NOW!!

Did you like that wrestling fools? Cesaro in the main event is like a British Heatwave – make the most of that sh!t now – it only lasts two days!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

…and Undertaker & Brock are STILL FIGHTING!!! Oh man this has to be some unsanctioned sh!t by WWE for Summerslam! You can’t possibly tell me that they can book them in a normal @$$ singles match??? This is FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!!!

Now Triple H… Don’t do anything stupid like drop a Zero Tolerance clause on this sh!t… mind you it would work for Undertaker… GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1155, July 13, 2015!!!

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I just wanna take this time to take a moment of silence… to that poor Cadillac, it was just an innocent bystander, it didn’t deserve that fate. It wasn’t even christened and packed up with honeyz damnit! Excuse me I might have to cry in the c…oh wait… I can’t do that!!!! IT’S STILL REAL TO ME DAMNIT!!!!

THE BATTLEGROUND IS LAID OUT! I am him – Infamous Informer – Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw – The man in The Purple Suit – Grant Body – P!! RAW #1155: HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZLate Night Survival Kit: Bag of peanuts, Double Choc digestive (Freeze those muthaf***az Sub Zero as f**k!) Orange Tango, and some ice cream for later!

(THE FOLLOWING BLOG IS RE-WRITTEN. THE COMPUTER CRASHED WHILE WATCHING LIVE AND LOST THE ORIGINAL BLOG.)

OHHHH SH!T! Is that how we gonna start RAW??? With the Cadillac Crushing, J&J Security destroying, Mayor of Suplex City a.k.a. Atlanta Georgia… BRRRROCCCK LESSSNAR??!!! With his advocate who vows that Brock will BRUKK UP that Sneaky, Slimy, Revolting, Disgusting, Thief in The Night – Seth Rollins!!! Somebody print that sh!t on a shirt!

Talking of that Sneaky, Slimy, Revolting, Disgusting Thief in the Night…that muthaf***a messed up his lines talking to BRRROCCCK LESSNAR!!! YES people! Seth is shook! 100% proof! He gonna get DEAD this Sunday for sure!

Oh look at the state of the Cadillac!!! LAWD HAVE MERCY! This is a saaaad day! Do you know how much carnal activity could have taken place in there???

Cadillac CrushedGRANT BODY – P!!

For real Glenn? You gonna threaten BRRROCCK LESSNAR??? In your Sunday School Trousers??? Have you conveniently forgotten that Brock smashed the streak of your older brother who is BADDER THAN YOU???

For real Miz??? Did this muthaf***a just say he’s the toughest man in WWE? Because he was in The Marine 3? Let me remind you of something muthaf***a – you didn’t even do those stunts! I don’t have to watch the film to know that! GET IN THE CHAIR!

Yo JBL – Don’t EVER call Bray Wyatt the ‘Master of Mind Games’… you have just insulted the Don of DONS. Now look what you’ve done… you’re next to get BUSS ARSE – check it out…

Undertaker gymOHHHH SH!T! Wyatt scheduled to fight Dean Ambrose, and Ladies Favourite Roman Reigns rushes him to beat him down! To quote Steven Segal in Marked For Death, “You f**k with my family.. YOU DIE!”

Ok time for some 6-man black on black action! I love the New Day, New Day Rocks, but Primetime Players got Mark Henry on their side!!!! World’s Strongest Slam to Xavier Woods – BLAOW!!!! THAT’S WHAT I DO!!! I say have the same 6 man match for the tag team titles, since New Day like to wield the belts as all three! Get in there Mark Henry make it happen!

232 days as champion??? GO NIKKI GO!! FOR ME! AND THE WORLD! RECORD SKIP – Stephanie McMahon is out here?? Maybe she wants the title? Last time Stephanie won the women’s title, she never defended that sh!t! Broke the 30 day rule under the McMahon Helmsley reign of terror!

Hang on – Stephanie looking to change-up sh!t! The US women’s team won the world cup! Serena Williams with her fine self won the Grand Slam!

PARIS, FRANCE - JUNE 08:  Serena Williams of United States of America poses with the Coupe Suzanne Lenglen after victory in the Women's Singles Final match against Maria Sharapova of Russia  during day fourteen of French Open at Roland Garros on June 8, 2013 in Paris, France.  (Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)

Women are running things in the UFC! WWE women have to step their game up! Paige finally has back up!!! OH SH!T Becky Lynch??!!! Charlotte Flair N!&&@!!!! Er… Nikki… I don’t know if you can make the 300 now!

I’M MARKING THE F**K OUT RIGHT NOW!!!!

GOD DAYUUUM NAOMI IS OUT HERE WITH TAMINA TOO? Suddenly my heart is fluttering!!! God dayum I wanna slap SAM_3844dat @$$!!

OH SNAP!!!!! THE BOSS LADY – SASHA BANKS IS OUT HERE AND JOINING NAOMI’S FIGHT!!!! YES!!! YES! YES! CROWD CHANTING ‘THIS IS AWESOME!!!’ THIS IS OFF THE HOOK!!! THAT’S MY TEAM RIGHT THERE – SASHA, NAOMI & TAMINA!!

Shout out to STC Member Amer W. Awad! He must have marked the f**k out! Look at Stephanie – she’s loving this!!!!

So is Cameron it seems…

Breaking News: The Divas have stolen the show. If you aint with it then #GirlBye #BestForBusiness#WWEAtlanta

THE GRANT SAYS – Shame you wasn’t apart of it baby girl! If you learned to pin people properly that could have been you!

GRANT BODY – P!

Only joking Cameron – Grant loves you! It’s those IWC d!ckheads Grant hates!

3 guys fighting for an US Title shot like it’s a b!tch like Summer Rae! But this is a great contest! Kevin Owens! Rusev! Cesaro! I know I didn’t see Cesaro pull off a german suplex on Rusev and Owens at the same time!!! Can YOU do that BRRROCCK LESSSNAR??!!!

Cesaro is KILLIN EM!!! Superman leap over the ropes! Straight up and down – in a lesser federation (yeah I said it…) he’d be a champion by now! Sometimes one’s injury (Tyson Kidd) is another’s opportunity (Cesaro)… an unwritten rule in wrestling.

Rusev gets the pinfall over Cesaro… look at Cena with the last-minute stretches… Oh the Cena Haters be like – ‘Rusev just had a triple threat match – Now Cena will do the 5 moves and – ‘ SHUT THE F**K UP… You’ve watched King Of the Ring before haven’t you???

See look at Rusev he a bit mash-up! Well let’s test your endurance Rusev! If there’s anything that women like – in this case Summer Rae – it’s ENDURANCE!

I knew that muthaf***a (Owens) was gonna ruin the match! Ok calling it now – Cena is retaining the title at Battleground It will be by disqualification by Cesaro and maybe Rusev as well. REMEMBER I TOLD YA.

GOD DAYUUUUM LOOK AT LITA!!! She looks like she just had sex with Grant Body-P!!!! All her hair all over the place… OH MY GOD!!!! Introducing the Tough Enough contestants! Look at that Gabi!!! YES!

Patrick – you could have fixed your tie – you’re on big BIG WWE TV! My moms would cuss if that was me!

Giorgia damn look at those breasts! OHHHH!!! I see you, tryna take Naomi’s throne!!!

The speculation is over! Stardust lives on! To those who are upset that he should come out as Cody Rhodes in light of his father’s departure… Buck up pal!!! BUCK UP!!! and SHUDDUP!!! As long as he doesn’t become ‘The Artist formerly known as StarDust – then all is right in the world!

Rollins Vs LesnarOH SH!T – The contract signing! What I wanna know is, if the match was made official 5 weeks ago, why we having a contract signing now??? Anyway enough of that smark sh!t!

Look at Seth signing the contract in his best handwriting! He’s almost like a kid with his tongue hanging out at the side of his mouth corner as he writes HAHA! Lesnar! with his hand on his chin!! Smiling and sh!t! OH SH!T!!!!! Lesnar you’re a funny muthaf***a as well!

HOLY F**K – Lesnar threw the table at Rollins! Rollins gets a taste of Suplex city! Glenn thinks he can take Lesnar! He’s probably thinking – ‘for my brotherrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

Damn look at the contract table! All marble and sh!t! Good luck tryna chokeslam somebody through that muthaf***a!

AH – HAAAA! Heyman suspected Rollins was trying to be teef! Lesnar turns the table over! And finds a dutty big piece of stick underneath! Seth get find out now!!!! UH-OH!!!!

Look at Seth! slowly going towards the table where Brock is waiting for him!!!! Seth – DON’T GIVE ME JOKE!!

What was Rollins thinking??? Tryna jump over the ropes only to land in Lesnar’s arms set up for the F5 on the concrete floor! Lucky Glenn was there to kick down Lesnar! Stomping Lesnar out like he’s in a Mobb Deep video! Now Rollins is using the stick! Glenn again gets involved – oh no – F5 to the concrete floor – BLAOW!!!

Rollins is like – OH SH!T!!! I must run like my name is Jon Connor! The T-1000 is after me!!!! MOMMY!!!

t-1000-running-oOH SNAP!!!!! LITERALLY! I hope Glenn enjoyed himself in Hawaii, and got all the Hawaiian pu$$y, because his leg brukk from the steel steps from BRRRROCCCK LESSSNARRR! Even Big Brother is sitting there like – He only broke my streak… I’m still healthy!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

FOR REAL???? Ok see Rollins you have gone too far! You curse out Glenn and then stomp on his shattered leg??? Ok Glenn… it’s TIME… Calling it now – Seth Rollins is LOSING THAT TITLE. Enter Seth Vs KANE for Summerslam… this has brewed for a long time, and big up the creative for stretching the storyline out…

IT'S KANNNNNNE3

 

OFFICIAL STC THEME TUNE FOR BATTLEGROUND:

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1153, June 29, 2015!!!

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WTF is going on I Can’t Go To Sleep,
My people getting killed in a church I couldn’t go to sleep
Can’t go on holiday in peace I couldn’t go to sleep,
France knocked out the Women’s World Cup I couldn’t go to sleep,
It’s hot to def today it’s hard to go to sleep!!!!

I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation people… FRANCE WAS KNOCKED OUT THE WOMEN’S WORLD CUP!!!! BY ZE EVIL GERMANS! That, broke my heart… and you will see why in this blog later…

The Infamous Daywalker up to his outrageous antics again! Let’s see what happened on RAW shall we? RAW #1153: HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZSource: WWE.Com

…and in the first 16 seconds of catching up with RAW, I see Wrestling storylines recycling itself. It seems to me that Seth Rollins has spent his WWE wages on gifts for the authority out of the goodness of his heart! Everybody gets Apple watches???? FOR REAL???

Yo Seth! Er somebody over here would like a PS4, with Batman Arkham Knight, and an all expenses paid trip to Canada to see his baby girl!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

I see what looks like an unveiling portrait for Glenn… don’t tell me – is it a pic of Kane on the cover for WWE2K16? No? Is it a semi naked pic of Lana??? I bet it’s a pic of Seth Rollins with the WWE Title, just like what The Rock did with Faarooq back in 98!

Haha Seth Rollins bigging up Kane and tells the audience to give him a round of applause!!! Yes I gotta do it too! APPLAUSE!!! BRAVO KANE!!! HE IS THE F**K!N MAN, OK!!!

Ok watch for the switch…

Say what???? Seth is giving Kane a vacation to Hawaii???? Why not Tunisia??? I mean, he can set fire to those muthaf***az who shot up the beach!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Uh oh Seth is not done! J&J security get an extra gift? They gonna be stylin and proflyin like Ric Flair?

YO!!! who is that blondie on stage???? Answers on a postcard please! Tweet Edd Mulhall on his twitter!!! @edmondmulhall

GRANT BODY – P!!!

A brand new Cadillac???? GETTHEF**KOUTTAHERE!!! Yo J&J gonna get nuff pu$$y in that whip word up!

Any one would think these muthaf***az won the Showcase Showdown on The Price Is Right!

Listen to Seth describing the capabilities of the car!!! With gay marriage in full force, that car gonna be packed with honeyz!!!

Is this all we gotta do for f**k!n up Brock Lesnar??? Yo sign me up! You know a lot of Undertaker fans wanna beat up Brock for breaking the streak… and we get rewarded handsomely by Seth Rollins????

Why is the Miz talking sh!t about ‘stick and move’??? Last time I check, he got knocked the f**k out by Big Show!!

Miz tries to pull a fast one by kicking down Ryback… Ryback wants to f**k him up!!! I mean who doesn’t!!!

By the way, any one seen Damien Sandow??? Answers on a postcard please – tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

OHHHH SH!T – Wish granted! Ryback Vs The Miz!!! KILL HIM RYBACK! DESTROY HIM COMPLETELY!

The Miz tries a cross body, Ryback catches him, lifts him up, and walks round the ring with him for about 5 minutes! Probably went to a commercial break! Come back, and Ryback is still holding him up! Suplex – BLAOW!!!!! They gotta put that in the WWE2K16!

Haha! Crowd chanting FEED ME MORE, Ryback ready to Meat Hook Clothesline The Miz blodclart, and the Miz is like – f**k it!!! ME GARNE!!! Well you can’t win the Intercontinental title that way at Battleground you WASSACK!!!

So let me get this right so I can understand this: Has Alicia Fox become the ‘Black Bella’??? COME ON ALICIA! Destroy that Paige lady! She calls herself the ‘anti diva’…. but she’s in Total Divas… what sort of sh!t is that?? That’s contradictory and sh!t!

Hey I like that move by Paige though! Running knee into the turnbuckle, then she follows up by standing on the first rope and dropping what looks like multiple Tiger Knees into Alicia! Paige got her Sagat on! PUT THAT MOVE IN THE WWE2K16 game!Grant Body P

Holds on to Alicia, 3 clotheslines in succession, a drop kick, comes of the ropes, another roundhouse kick to the face! Superb rally of moves by Paige!

Ok Alicia, you deserve to lose now! I mean I’m not a Paige fan but that was off the hook!

“THIS IS MY HOUSE!!!” Well Paige, do you pay the mortgage muthaf***a????  NO YOU DON’T – Vincent Kennedy does!!! SO SHUDDUP!

This week yo’boy Cesaro steps up for the US title Open challenge… or as my ninja Shadfather likes to call it: The John Cena Apology tour!! Can Cesaro giant swing Cena out of the title??

What sort of move was that by Cena? It was like, when Cesaro came off the top rope with a cross body, Cena countered, I expected an AA… but then it was like a tilt-a-whirl facebuster! What you Cena haters gotta say now muthaf***az???

Y’all gonna have to re-assess Cena’s move set on WWE2K16! Gone are the 5 moves. Gone are the Cena friendly NES Controller… You’re looking a full Capcom Fight Stick this time for WWE2K16! You gonna have to drop fireball and dragon punch motions and sh!t!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

OH SH!T! I thought Cesaro got Cena with the neutralizer super move!

Cesaro, sends for his giant swing, follows it with a sharpshooter…OK RING THE BELL!!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Now why would Kevin Owens do that???? It wasn’t like Cena was gonna tap – Cena never gives up! We have seen Cena pas out to the accolade super move from Rusev – come on Owens!!!! I mean I know why you did it but… BOO THIS MAN EVERYBODY!!!! I don’t care if he f**ked up Machine Water Gun Kelly Bundy B!tch!

(Shout out to Christina Applegate…she’d still get the D!!!)

43 years old lads... she's officially a cougar!

43 years old lads… she’s officially a cougar!

Haha superb! Darren Young has Bo Dallas in a submissive predicament (yes I know it didn’t sound right) and the New Day are giving the clap therapy! I would help out Bo Dallas but The Rock f**ked him up the other day!

OH NO! Kofi lost to Titus O’Neill in that 8 man tag contest! that’s not momentum going into his big match with BRRRROCCCK LESSSNARRRR in Japan July 3??? Ooooh I can hear the IWC complaining about that one…

FOR REAL LANA???? You are calling Ziggler a ‘REAL MAN’???? Look at the way he’s dressed?!!! Even the crowd are not convinced… dropping the WHAT? chant on Lana! (You don’t judge a man on the way he’s dressed Grant -) don’t argue with me IWC jabroni… gay marriage is in full effect and I know a lot of guys are falling on their knees  for Ziggler to put a ring on it!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Look at Rusev with his brukk up self! Why doesn’t he just GOOO AWAAAY??? (Shout out to STC’s Joanne Chapman!! She knows what I did there!)

Ok Rusev you got yourself some new pu$$y in Summer Rae but he looks like that Summer Rae has been F**K!N YOU UP IN THE BED!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Now Rusev’s saying that Lana can’t kiss??? Of COURSE she couldn’t kiss – look at your big @$$ – your mouth bigger than her face!!!

Rusev – you got Summer Rae there – so Keep It Moving to the K.I.M.!!!! You downgraded anyway – so Rusev – you get this week’s GET IN THE CHAIR AWARD!!!!

FOR REAL???? Summer Rae just slapped Lana???? OHHHH SH!!!T HERE WE GO!!! Someone’s blonde extensions gonna get pulled out tonight!!!!

WROOOOOOY!!!! Lana has gone postal on Summer Rae! White Panties showing for the world to see! Wrestling Fans wanking in their seats! Ziggler why you breaking up the fight for??? YOU WASSACK!!! Let em go!!!

The crowd on that YES! Chant! Look at Lana! Standing tall with her hands crossed like she’s an elegant lady!!! HA! HA! HA! I LIKE THAT!!!! Like nothing happened!!!

OOOOOOOHHHHHH!!! Did you see that? Roman Reigns throwing powerbombs and kendo sticks and superman punches at anything that moves! Seth Rollins coming off the top ropes – SUPER MAN PUNCH IN HIS GRILL!

OH NO!!! WYATT!!! Er.. now is not a good time Wyatt!!!

Wyatt just f**ked up Reigns! (Side Note: Er Wyatt, you supposed to remove everything from the announce table before dropping Reigns through it fool!)

Dean Ambrose, has insane as he is, cannot contend with Kane & Rollins???? CHOKESLAM! followed by a PEDIGREE! – BLAOW!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Seth is not dun! Table set up in the corner, Roman Reigns – powerbombed by Seth Rollins! Picks up his carcass, another pedigree in the canvas! Bray Wyatt… picks him up… drops the kiss of Sister Abigail!!! THIS IS NOT COOL! You can’t let your daughter see this Roman!!!! It’s a baaaad day for the ladies this week, their heart-throb destroyed!

Now back to the top of the blog, I said I couldn’t go to sleep because France were knocked out of the Women’s World Cup. Now we have ugly German women possibly going to the final and none of them are gonna look like this…

Louisa Necib, French Football player

 

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1145, May 4, 2015!!!

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We getting money YEP!

We hustle YEP!

We got those guns YEP!

We bout to ball YEP!

We got them cars YEP!

We poppin’ tags YEP!

We ballin’ YEP! I said we ballin’ YEP!!!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You Mayweather hating b!tches!!!! SAY SOMETHING! Go ahead SAY SOMETHING! Where’s all your chat now dyam arses! And f**k all that May the 4th sh!t, I’m not a fan of Star Wars! The only thing I like about Star Wars – is the characters you can play on muthaf***!n Soul Calibur!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

I’m the Infamous Informer, a.k.a. The Daywalker… and I have NO sympathy, NO compassion, NO remorse…welcome to RAW! HOL’DAT BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZThis week’s survival kit: Real McCoy’s MAN CRISPS, an Aero mint bar you can get for £1, KA Black Grape soda, and an ice cream for when I see Tamara Loveset & Ani James on Babestation in case RAW gets wack in places… I’m ready to go and cuss bad words if I see some stupid sh!t!!!

Wait a minute, if the crowd are not overly cheering Reigns when Randall mentioned him… why did they vote for a triple threat match???? WOLLYS!

The crowd chanting for Randall to RKO Reigns???? And did Randall mess up his lines?

What the f**k??? I like the New Day but they don’t want none of Randall & Reigns surely???? I’m all about positivity but… I hope you guys read the bible!

Oh my god they do! All three of em! I thought The New Day were righteous, but they taking orders from the Devil’s Favourite Demon?????

Oooooh, Reverend ain’t right… his church ain’t right!!!

Collectively, The New Day cussed down Randall & Reigns! Yo if that was Rock & Jericho it would be curtains for the New Day lyrically!

OH MY GOD You retarded Canadian crowd – Why the f**k are you chanting for CM Princess Peach B!tch??? Thank god for New Day – keeping the claps going so that the crowd can chant ‘New Day Sucks’! It hurt me to disrespect the Canadian crowd – because the love of my life resides there – and I got family there too…

Oh snap! The New Day win!!!! Reigns speared Orton accidentally! Kingston went for the pin!!!! Oh dear!!!!

It gets worse! Or better??? Glenn has pitted Reigns & Orton against each other! Well the Grant says these two don’t mind, plus Glenn sorts out Seth Rollins too! He fights Ambrose, and if Rollins runs his mouth once, Glenn would have Rollins tied to the ring post so that Ambrose can buss him up!!! But if you ask me… Ambrose is the type that would rather fight someone who can fight back…. you know what they say about people not in their right mind? They have the strength of 10 men!

We are really in Bizarro Land! These fools chanting Goldberg at Ryback??? that is so 2013!!! Sorry baby girl, I know you live in Winnipeg girl, but if these fans f**k up again, I will be forced to do something I might regret….

Yo Bray, I don’t know what the f**k you just said… but telling Ryback to run??? Yeah Ryback will run alright… to the Wyatt buffet!!! And I’m not even sure if Wyatt wants to eat there!!!!

The Grant says… Cesaro & Kidd are not getting a title shot for those tag team titles for now…. #FACT!!!! And the Ascension… I want these muthaf***az to get back to being the bad men they were in NXT…. #FACT!!!!

F**K ME!!! Cesaro might be the star this week! 10 Irish whips into the turnbuckle followed by a fierce uppercut each!!! Followed by an 11th Irish whip into a clothesline!!!! That was f*k!n DAN!!!!! The Ascension dead now! Is who tell dem to follow the illuminati?!!!

I know Seth Rollins did not just call Glenn a moron???!!!! That’s like swearing at my moms!

Dean Ambrose Vs Seth Rollins jump off!!!! Hold up!!! If Ambrose beats Rollins, Ambrose is in the main event!!! COME ON AMBROSE!!!!!

Yeah I know, 78% of the WWE Universe voted for a Triple Threat Match! But Rollins called Glenn a moron??? COME ON AMBROSE!!! KILL!!!!

Technically all three members of the Shield would be fighting for the title, plus an added Randall Orton??? COME ON AMBROSE!!!! KILL!!!!

Ambrose is really going for it! Punches left and right! diving through the ropes! He’s showing Pacquiao how to do it!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

These two are really going for it!!! This is OFF THE HOOK! Crowd canting THIS IS AWESOME!! this is PPV quality!

WROOOOOOOOOOOOOY!!!! The J&J security tried to teef! Distraction Roll Up by Ambrose – 1 – 2 – and it’s….. 3!!!

AMBROSE GOING TO PAYBACK!!!! Suddenly the PPV is gonna be DAN! I think Kane sent J&J security to go out there!!!! He paid them handsomely!!!

THIS RAW HAS BEEN DAN SO FAR!!!! All that’s left is for me to see Naomi’s sexy @$$…Grant & Leanna

GWARN KANE!!!! Talk that propaganda sh!t to Rollins! Tell him how good he needs to be! Hold on – interview with Lana… Haha catch Fandango talking that seductive sh!t to Lana! (Well wouldn’t you??!!!) Rusev don’t like that sh!t! Oh dear Fandango you might not be able to dance again after this week! You gonna be in a hospital kid!

I think the Canadian crowd have fixed up! ‘WE WANT LANA!’ Well I want ‘TAMARA’ but that’s another story!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

I don’t believe this! Dude got Lana to do the Fandango dance!!!!! Rusev bex! Sent her to the back! Fandango got game let’s be real! First Summer Rae, then Layla (bastard),… then Rosa Mendes, now Lana???? All we need now is The Rock! Come on Lana admit it – you want The Rock’s strudel! You got wet…. with perspiration standing that close to The Rock!!!!

Stardust wants revenge on R-Truth for not advancing in the King Of The Ring Tournament! And I think he’s gonna do it! What’s in the bag? I have a bad feeling I know what it is! R-Truth said he wanted to ban spiders…. Oh sh!t…..

What???? plastic spiders???? Here’s me thinking a big @$$ tarantula was in that bag! Now THAT would be f**ked up! Boo Stardust for that sh!t – BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Now now crowd!!!! Don’t boo Cena!!!! Oh no!!! TOO LATE! This John Cena Sucks song might be better than the Kurt Angle You Suck song! Remember that?!

Gotta say – the Canadian crowd are better than the Chicago crowd from Extreme Rules!!!! Cena can’t say sh!t! The crowd love the song! REWIND AND COME AGAIN SELECTAH!

Why are they chanting Sami Zayn???? Do they know something I don’t????

Damn Cena enough of the bla-bla-bla! bla-bla-bla-bla! Come on out challenger!!!!

HANG ON????? Bret Hart???? He can’t fight????!!!!! He’s the challenger??? BUMBACLAAAART!!!!

Oh no wait – he’s gonna introduce the next challenger, but Heath Slater wants in… somebody kick him down!

Yes Bret! Lick him down with the mic!!! But Yo! The Canadian crowd knew! Sami Zayn is the challenger!!! I believe he can win!!!! This match is gonna be DAN!!!!

 

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1140, March 30, 2015!!!

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The Infamous Informer

Last night I cried Tears Of Joy, What did I do to deserve this?

I’m the Infamous Informer, and I have NO sympathy, NO compassion, NO remorse…welcome to the RAW After Big BIG WrestleMania… can you believe that after the best WrestleMania since X-Seven, we still had grumpy muthaf***az pointing out flaws… you know what, hand in your muthaf***!n WWE card, OK? You not down with the team, and you are only proving to me that it was all about the muthaf***!n attitude era. Sit over there, and watch your Peter Handre bullsh!t on ITV2… you are nothing but a B!TCH!!!

RAW AFTER MANIA: HOL’DAT BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZLet’s start the WrestleMania 32 cycle right!

OOOOHHHHH SH!!!!!T!!!! This man can’t be happy… Brock Lesnar with no title round his waist…. Yo Seth, RUN FOR THE HILLS!

Paul Heyman doesn’t look happy either….

And the crowd chanting SUPLEX CITY!!!! Come on WWE get those merchandising set up! SUPLEX CITY B!TCH!! Do you know how much revenue WWE would make off that alone?

No Heyman! You can’t do that! You would lose a court case on that WWE title sh!t!!! Seth was within his rights to cash his cheque! It was within the one year clause!

Hi Steph! How’s your arm baby girl??? Why is the crowd chanting Ronda Rousey??? HAHAHA! Oh good counter by Stephanie using tricknology to the crowd!

OOOOOH SH!!!!!T! Brock Lesnar is fighting on RAW!!!! Seth, I’m gonna pray for ya….

Dolph Ziggler Vs Danny Bryan for the wrestling fans favourite championship! The same championship STC’s Shadfather calls ‘cursed’!!!!

Great contest! Danny gets the win, HOL’ON! Sheamus is back!! Look at his headtop! Ginger mohawk, beard twiss up, kicking down Dolph & Danny!!!! Why y’all booing? That’s what you wanted right? For Sheamus to turn evil because he went stale???! Gotta rate the crowd though: “YOU LOOK STUPID!!!” I gotta agree! He looks stupid….in a badass way!!!

Hold up – the Lucha Dragons from NXT reppin on RAW???? HELL YEAH THAT IS DAN!!!!!

They are twisting up Cesaro and Kidd! They can’t manage them! They had to retreat one time! Now the crowd chanting ‘New Day Sucks’! OH NO!!!! This is bad! Well not that bad – New Day are being chanted! But there is a solution! #BlackWrestlersMatter

Big up New Day & the Lucha Dragons! Took out the Ascension! They might as well change their name to the Descension because these guys are going down and that’s not cool!

Now they showing vignettes for the kid call Adrian Neville? Ha! new season, new road to WrestleMania 32, and muthaf***az could be future endeavoured!

OH SH!T – Brock just heard Seth Rollins is in the hiz-house…. oh lawd have mercy, I’ma open up my rap bible, and the light will come over the children….

Big up Seth Rollins though, he’s here to compete… a fighting champion!!!! You can’t knock that! Can he send Brock for the Tandem Engine???

Hold on… Rollins is jet lagged? His feet hurt? Oh boy he can see Lesnar is BEX! Seth took my advice! He ran for the hills! J&J security got clotheslined out of their suits! Lesnar pushed over the announce table! JAY-BEE & Booker-T mash-up! Grabs Mike Cole! F5 into the canvas – BLAOW! Grabs the cameraman, Stephanie’s attempt to stop him failed! F5 to the cameraman – BLAOW!!!

OH MY GOD THAT’S ENOUGH!!! THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY DAMNIT!!!

Lesnar suspended indefinitely…. already? He just signed a new contract didn’t he??? OH DEAR!!!

Now we got no commentators! What are we gonna do now? Icy Fresh! Shadfather! Steadx! Get in there and take over!

Stephanie gonna fine him! NO! How is he gonna decorate the kitchen table? Sable can’t be too happy about this??? She gonna starve now!

Damn Bryon Saxton has to run tingz now, and Mizdow is out here on his own fighting Stardust…  You know The Miz gonna f**k this up right? With that I’m gonna find the big man room…

…or maybe not! He used the Miz’s supermove??? Bad mistake…. look who’s here, the @$$hole himself – the Miz…crowd chanting @$$hole! This will be a great compelling feud!

Is Curtis Axel still on this bullsh!t? Yo WrestleMania dun!!! Move on!!!

OH SH!!!!!!!T!!!! The man that gravity forgot! The man they call Neville!!!!! (so they dropped the ‘Adrian’ already…) wrestling fans shut the f**k up – he’s still the same NEVILLE!

Guess what… Cena has another new T-Shirt again!!!! God Damnit!!!! I wonder if the true Cena fans have every single shirt ever released? Cena got more T-shirts than Wu-Tang solo albums!!!

I guess the US Spinner title isn’t making a comeback….shame really…

Well it’s an open challenge! Who wants to test John Cena? Rusev? NOPE – Dean Ambrose!!!! I suppose he’s ready to do this considering he mashed up through those ladders at WrestleMania!

God bless Jerry Lawler… Bryon needed help, he can’t do this sh!t alone!

SPOILER ALERT – Cena wins! Still an awesome match, and a show of respect… fans don’t like that… the fans don’t like anything!!!

Now Seth Rollins has mouth now that Brock has gone to…. pay those bills so to speak…. but he must have forgotten about Randall… who actually brukk up his clart at WrestleMania! Clearly Seth ain’t tryna defend his title… fighting champion my crusty foot bottom! Glenn & Big Show got Rollins back… who Randall gonna send foGrant Body Pr? I can think of Roman… but the fans don’t like him (the fickle idiots…) or what about… oh f**k that – the divas are on!

Well f**k you stupid stream… even you don’t know #AWomansWorth… the stupid sh!t had to freeze up and I missed the match…. had to restart this sh!t – nah they need to put Raw on the muthaf***k!n Network!

Considering this is the RAW after Mania it hasn’t been as good as previous Raw after Mania episodes… at the same time I like that because it’s a slap in the face of the IWC who have a kick out of trashing the biggest show and then looking forward to the Raw after… on that note – f**k you Heelbook… you sons of b!tches!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Word is Randall got Ryback in his team… the other gotta be Roman Reigns surely!

Note to fans – just because you hate Roman Reigns – don’t get in his face on some bullsh!t – if he pushes you one side – IT’S YOUR FAULT OK! Don’t be a d!ckhead!

Oh dear trouble at the STC – I had to sort out some admin business… so I missed the main event. But hold on!!! Sting is on the WWE Network!!!! OH SH!T…. if what I think happens… I’m gonna mark the f**k out!!!

Sting – I know you heard that chant!!!! Stop trippin!

What the hell is Mr Bo-Lieve doing here???? Dude you are asking for a scorpion death drop super move kid! Turn back!

Well that was disappointing!!! I mean Raw was good but man…. Lesson to be learned – stop taking the p!$$ out of the show of shows. That blasted in your face if you ask me….

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Infamous Informer

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

Monday Night Raw #1114: September 29, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

 

WELCOME EVERYONE TO WWE RAW: JUDGMENT DAY!!!! We are live from a sold out Chicago crowd! And they are all pumped up and ready, chanting for the guy I like to call Philippa Brukk!!! Infamous Informer here on commentary taking you through the next 3 hours and 15 minutes of wrestling action!

GRYM REAPER CALLING – JUDGMENT DAY!!! RAW #1114! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

SHOUT OUT TO STC MEMBER DARREN BRUNTON! IT’S HIS BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK! SHOW SOME ADMIRATION & RESPECT!

And they’ve started! Oh snap! Stephanie is putting the QUITTERS on blast!!! See how she switches it up to Dean Ambrose though!!!! HA! HA!

May Paul Heyman interject??? Will he mention Phillipa’s name blatantly?!!! Nope he’s gonna talk about BRRROCCK LESSSNAR!

Well Seth Rollins is right…. no one wants to see Cena win the title, but by claiming that Brock Lesnar is the ‘BEST’, the crowd took that as an insult to Philipa…

So Seth is like, Ambrose, give back the briefcase with my cheque in there… Ambrose appears on-screen… he’s like – if yuh tink say your name bad man, come fe it nuh? And according to you IWC b!tches, John Cena just had to steal the limelight from Ambrose by attacking Rollins… I dun explained to you how Cena is in this storyline… y’all just hating… so The Grant Says – SHUT THE F**K UP!

HA! HA! Jamie Noble gives me joke! He wants  some sledge hammers to aid in retrieving the briefcase… you know NO-ONE wields that thing except for Triple TEEF!!!!

I’m glad Ziggler has killed that noise he was going on with R-Truth… Cesaro you are a don, I hope you defeat The Miz & Ziggler in this Triple Threat Match for the Intercontinental Championship… babestation ain’t saying nuthin either… I guess it’s a quick game of Tekken!

Side note – I’m glad that this will be the last episode of Raw I’ll be watching via stream… this Wednesday – let’s get that Network! HEY! It better not be no £9.99! charge us the same you charge the states! No funny business knowing this dyam country!

In fact f**k Tekken – let’s post this pic of Stephanie with her fine self… just for no reason!

Steph Raw Chicago

Actually this wrestling contest is not bad! Plenty pinning predicaments! Great counter techniques! But damnit, Cesaro hit the Sho-ryu-ken on The Miz, Ziggler kicks down Cesaro and takes advantage of the pin and defends his title…

So who are these guys? Jamie Noble & his bredrin? Are they the new Patterson & Brisco??? HAHAHAHAHA!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

It’s okay people, my girl Sophia Lares is back on babestation… she’s on standby for when RAW comes with some stupidness…

I’m sick of stupid muthaf***az running up my inbox while RAW is on… what the f**k do they want at this time of night? Worse than that – I get someone running up my inbox telling me to ‘like’ his profile picture… I ain’t no battyman – get the f**k outta here with that sh!t!

WTF was that all about with The Wyatt Family? Most notably Luke Harper? What is this – a singles career launch??? Answers on a postcard please – Tweet me @MZATheInfamous, or hit us up at our FB group –http://www.facebook.com/groups/smacktalkcentre – Request To Join – Don’t Be a Weirdo!

Jesus have mercy LAYLA!!!! My god you look so f**kable! What’s this I hear – you have a new boyfriend???? I’m gonnaGRANT & LAYLA WWE2K15 find him… and SKIN HIM ALIVE!

Yo Jerry Lawler you still got it for lyrics! ‘Love is Grand, Divorce is 100Grand!’ I ought to remember that!

OH SNAP!!! Rosa’s extensions fell out her headtop!!! She might be the star of Total Divas, but this is RAW – where Layla is my star!!

Is it me, or does Dean Ambrose entrance music sound like that Puff Daddy tune??? Me cyan’t remember the name of it… I think it was for some film or something…

Oh snap! Ambrose is having a Chicago clearance sale??? He can’t do that surely?

WOW!! the crowd are chanting for someone other than Philipa Brukk!!!

Come on Patterson & Brisco!!! Do your job and get the briefcase!!!

Oh hang on… reinforcements!!! Looks like Ambrose wants no problems with these guys he calls ‘rosebuds’…. he’s going back up the stairs Shield style… he’s like – Seth Rollins – take your briefcase…what I wanna know is – why did Seth open that thing???? OH SNAP – what is that slimy sh!t coming out that messed up Rollins good suit??? He’s lucky it’s that and not what happened to The McMahons & the Spirit Squad back in 2006!

Even Randall & Glenn are laughing about it!!!! OH SH!T!!

First Swagger, now you wanna f**k with Mark Henry, Bo Dallas??? You don’t want to do that sir!!! Say what – Close the Hall Of Pain????? That’s only gonna keep the Hall Of Pain open BIG TIME!

Say what? Bo Dallas defeated Mark Henry???? What in the flying f**k???!!!!!

Shocked Undertaker 21-1 face2THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU DO HENRY???!!!! 

Suddenly Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak is irrelevant… Mark Henry lost to Bo muthaf***!n Dallas???? Oh HELL TO DA NAW!!!

That’s more like it!!!! Henry just f**ked up Bo Dallas backstage!!! Now THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!

Oh I get it…. will this Bella feud end in an I Quit match??? Hmmm….. I know y’all not interested… now putting Cameron & Eva Marie up against Brie Bella… is it REALLY a handicap match? If Tamina and Alicia Fox came out then I’d say yeah for sure…

Now look what you Bellas have done! Got the crowd chanting for JBL, Jerry Lawler & Michael Cole! Well it’s better than Philipa…. you know what? I think the crowd are finally come to terms with the truth… Note – AJ Lee hasn’t come out yet… was it a move by WWE for AJ Lee NOT to appear on Raw??? Or was it AJ Lee that thought – f**k that – I’m not about to bust my @$$ (Literally) out there only for the crowd to chant for a man who crosses his legs and whines like a b!tch… oh wait…. that’s my man…

GRANT BODY – P!!!

So hold on… Adam Rose & the Bunny are on commentary? And we got Slater, Gator and mini gator (Hornswoggle)? The Bunny actually has a WWE profile??? Ok this is the part where I watch babestation… F**K that – Chant Philipa’s name! You have my permission!

You gotta problem with Hip Hop JBL???? You gotta problem with me!!! Don’t let me come down there and Timberland Boot Stomp your @$$!

People are loving the Big Show! You know why? Because on Smackdown, Big Show punched Rusev through school buses! PPPPPPPP!!!! I’ve missed that super-move!

Hold up – Rusev can speak English??? Since when???!!!! SHUT UP!!!!

Rusev don’t want none of Big Show….after all that talk of breaking every bone in his body??? Rusev you got no barz!!!

OH NO! Big Show just pulled down the Russian flag! He can’t do that???? Big Show gonna be in trouble for sure! (yes I know Jericho, you disrespected the Brazilian flag and you got in trouble…)

NO Cena you didn’t just say that!!!! You can’t say Chicago is your type of town??!!!! That must sting!!!! I love the darts being thrown by the WWE superstars!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

But I gotta agree with Ambrose… the beef started with him & Rollins… it’s not your fight really… I mean it is to an extent but it’s so personal with Ambrose… so stop stealing Ambrose’s Yam & dumpling and get your own sh!t… you love your fruity pebbles don’t you? And by the way… your T-shirt is WACK! I don’t care if it’s promoting Cancer research or whatever!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

OH SNAP!!! AJ LEE IS HERE!!!! Is she gonna cut a promo??? Nope, she’s gonna fight! Better get my ear plugs…

Well Paige don’t want none of AJ Lee… so she sent Alicia Fox after her! er AJ… if I was you I would lose this fight…. and she has!!! Alicia hasn’t gotta go crazy all over Chicago!

Oh Lawwwd they beat down AJ Lee in Chicago… shot after shot after shot at Philipa… this is WWE firing shots at dude like his name is Scarface when he took 50 licks!

Shock! Horror! Now we gotta wait til NOVEMBER 1, for the WWE Network! Blodclart!!!! David Cameron what the f**k did you do??? I mean, WWE2K15 comes out at the same time! I’m going to see Common Live on London at that time! I don’t think it’s gonna work out….

Shout out to Hulk Hogan and all the ladies in the world that are putting boots2breastcancer…Show the world that you are proud of your t!++!£$! Don’t let the evil cancer take away your t!++!£$! We love your t!++!£$, and so should you!

It’s kinda funny how Glenn complains about Seth starting fires and he has to put em out… you see? My Hero Kane STARTS FIRES!!! I HATE GLENN DAMNIT!!!

I like Dean Ambrose’s hoodie… got that Anarky feel to it…. then you got the total opposite, Mr Fruity Pebbles himself…. considering it’s breast cancer awareness month, in the case of Cena, THE MILK’S GONE BAD!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Well well, Seth Rollins shut down another main event…. oh f**k!nhell look at Cena and Ambrose fighting over who should f**k up Rollins…see that’s what happens when you on that bullsh!t – RKO, CHOKESLAM, THEN A CURB STOMP – BLAOW!!!! Both Cena & Ambrose laid out, crowd chanting ‘Thank you Rollins’, and NO returning star… no Batista, no Bryan, no Philipa Brukk…. NOBODY… y’all been reading them muthaf***!n dirt sheets too much, and now y’all not smiling… YES, NOBODY’S SMILING… except ME!!! WHOEVER LOSES, I WIN BIATCH!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1112: September 15, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

PEACE TO THE GODS & EARTHS! KNOWLEDGE, KNOWLEDGE, KNOWLEDGE, WISDOM.

85%ers… I just quoted Supreme Mathematics. Only the 5% know what I just did here. 10% IWC b!tches step back and continue eating your monosodium glutamate, and polysorbate and drunk grape concentrate, with sodium benzoate!

Sorry I’m a Champion, as we enter the Night of Champions! RAW #1112! Hol’Dat – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZNo messing about! Paul Heyman’s here! John Cena is here! Is Brock Lesnar here? because if not, it’s YO @$$ PAUL HEYMAN!!!! Cena said he will F**k you up!

Haha Heyman made Cena look fool!!!! Look at him! Waiting for Brock for a fight like a dyam arse! Well – Brock’s private jet is delayed – Cena – KICK HIS F**K!N @$$!!! Don’t wait til no halftime Cena – KICK HIS @$$! Why has Cena got Heyman in a headlock??? Stop this nonsense Cena! I’d be throwing fists and fire on Heyman! Hey I’m a big Heyman fan… but it’s like this – if Brock comes and f**ks you up Cena, it’s your fault… just like you let Nikki Bella freeze her eggs, when there are nuff man out there dying to be a father! They’d shoot up her club in a heartbeat!

Oh snap – GREAT BOOKING BY JOHN CENA!!! Heyman locked away in Cena’s locker room, guarded by the not so Great Khali! Remember back in the days? I think it was 2007 when the not so Great Khali tried to squeeze Cena’s head top and kill him? How times have changed…

Look at this… Chris Jericho Vs ‘Glenn’… did Mike Cole just call him the Big Red Monster? I see no monster, I see a big bumblehead fool in school trousers!

If my hero Kane wrestled as Jacob Goodnight… even Bray Wyatt would see his white trousers turn yellow! WWE Creative simply have no sense sometimes!

Great win for Jericho, another loss for Glenn. I love Kane, hate Glenn. CHU!!!

You mean to tell me Mark Henry has athletes sending video messages supporting him in his fight against Rusev? Oh man Mark best not let his people down… all this police brutality, all sorts of sh!t…. he got more weight on him than Wack Swagger, who is fighting against Bo Dallas… and I BO-Lieve Dallas can win!

I like that chant going on! WE-THE-PEOPLE – – – WE BO-LIEVE!!!! I BO-LIEVE!!!! Come on kid! You are an inspiration to us all!

Good adding on to his Arsenal… Bo Dallas putting hand on his heart saying – WE BO-LIEVE before coming off the top ropes! NICE! It’s a shame he didn’t connect with the knee drop though…

OH F**K – Dallas taps out to the Ankle Patriot lock…. DAMNIT…. no more victory lap for Dallas now…. B@$+@rd!!!

COMING NEXT! Brie & AJ Lee combine their force against Paige & Nikki! Who am I backing? I care not… Whoever Loses, I WIN! I wonder, is

The MAN in the PURPLE SUIT!this the part where Brie finds herself in the divas championship match???

F**K it – I hate this skipping sh!t! If I ever catch my baby girl skipping like its yellow brick road– our relationship is OVER!

Oh dear – Brie – you got no skills, or as my sis would say, Brie you got no barz! Your @$$ ain’t going in that title match! Paige with the Rampaige super move… Brie couldn’t get up after that…and then after the match Nikki Bella shuts Brie down with her torture rack super move – BLAOW!!!

I’m sorry Shadfather but the Great Khali could win star of the week here! I can’t believe Paul Heyman tried to escape out of the locker room to call his client… but Khali brukk up Heyman’s phone! Oh no! How is Heyman gonna tweet his followers???

Where is Vincent Kennedy when you need him? Mike Cole just did an epic fail – he called John Cena – The world’s largest athlete??? You got two choices Cole – BE FIRED or the alternative…. GET IN THE CHAIR!!!! Better than that – Where’s the Rock? So he can put his most electrifying T-Shirt over Cole’s foolish head top????

LAWWD have mercy! The Big Show! 7ft 2! The Big Show! 441lbs! Double chokeslammed The Wyatt Bwoy into the canvas – BLAOW! That should have went through the ring tuh blodclart!

Big up the Uso brudda! I like that these guys have had an incredible run with the tag titles… it took them so long to capture the titles and even I thought they would have dropped em sooner… more power to em!

Was that ANOTHER Epic Fail by Mike Cole? He just asked Jay-Bee and Lawler – ‘Did Cody just meow’??? I thought his name was Stardust??? I thought Cody Rhodes didn’t exist????? (Obviously in storyline terms IWC don’t get your dirty Y-Fronts in a twist!)

If Raw starts at 8pm EST, 1am UK, isn’t 9:30pm EST 2:30am UK HALFTIME???? Cena said if Brock doesn’t show up by half time Heyman will get f**ked up… well it’s halftime now!!! I see no Brock…. Cena – KICK HIS F**K!N @$$!!!!!

STC NOC BANNER The Uso Brudda, The Dust Brudda, Sheamus & Cesaro always put on great matches, if you not down with the Night of Champions card this Sunday… I’ll take that wrestling card!!!! Now go over there and watch the only way is Essex… you dumb rarse!

BORN DAY SHOUT OUT TO THE DON! THEODORE LONG!!!! SALUTE THIS MAN!!!! LOOK AT HIM… WHAT A PLAYA!

Theodore-Long-With-Renee Word on the street is that Jericho is leaving again after Night of Champions…. and the announcers are making a big deal out of Randall kicking Jericho in his head costing him a few months of his career…why have I got that feeling that Randall is gonna do it again???

OHHHHH HERE WE GO!!!! KICK HIS F**K!N @$$!!!!! GIVE HIM THE BEATING CM P**K CAN ONLY DREAM OF!

Don’t waste time Cena! Stop chat – drop 16 suplexes on his @$$! I don’t care if he’s a 49-year-old father of 2, I don’t care if he’s acting with the benefit of intellect…. KICK HIS @$$!!!

Even the crowd want you to whupp his @$$! oh no…. Heyman got in your head…. goddamnit!!!! HERE COMES THE PAIN! HERE WE GO!!!

After mad mind games…. you know Brock the Conqueror couldn’t resist… he got in the ring… one German Suplex – BLAOW! Cena is like – OH SNAP! But Brock turn his back give Cena, Next minute Cena rushes Brock! Fist and fire! left’s and rights! Is Nikki getting wet backstage??? Is she thinking – f**k this egg freezing sh!t, I’m gonna jump on his d!ck and my vaginal walls is gonna trap him!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

That’s it Mike Cole – give the kids hope, because come Night of Champions… the Conqueror, BRRROCK Lesnar… is gonna brukk up Cena’s clart! I call it the battle between Kenshiro and Raoh the Conqueror in Fist Of the North Star!

fist-of-the-north-star-kens-rage-2kenshiro_vs_raohSo Cameron isn’t going to NXT after all? She’s gonna fight Naomi right here and now…. excuse me while I shed tears….

Good style out by Cameron when she pinned Naomi’s breasts to the mat instead of her back for the pinfall! HA! HA! Girl you don’t need to go to NXT!!! But that Sasha Banks though…. She and Cameron would make a great team!

There’s chants for Naomi! while Cameron has improved her fighting style! What sort of submission was that from Naomi??? WHOA!!!! Everytime I see Naomi fight she adds another move to her style! Give this woman the belt NOW!!!!! Well let her fight the winner between AJ, Nikki and Paige first…

I heard about this – Ziggler got his stunt double…. R-Truth…. I am DISGUSTED. I have lost respect for R-Truth, wearing pink brief and shaking his @$$…. F**k this… I’m off to watch babestation…. I’m a fan of that Sophia Lares lady… good gawd almighty!

BwimvOlCEAAyBvu.jpg largeI’D GO GRANTINGTON STEELE UP IN DAT @$$!

Did Seth Rollins just make a racist gesture about Roman Reigns???? Acting like a gorilla and sh!t????!!! OH HELL NAWWW!! I didn’t think that was funny. Roman – F**K him up!!! He might as well have said, Roman, I’m coming for you n!**@!

So wait there… if we are getting Seth Rollins Vs Roman Reigns now… does that mean at Night of Champions they will fight again in a stipulation??? I hope that is so!

F**K it Roman – get disqualified – Rollins made a racist comment about you and your Samoan heritage… send for the steel chair and beat his backside!

Oh blast – a victory by Reigns in a straight up wrestling contest…. GOD DAMNIT…. I HATE WRESTLING MATCHES!!! Only joking! I just think that when stars cut a promo where they say certain things about their opponent, I expect that sh!t to be delivered you feel me?

Interesting booking by WWE – Rusev & Mark Henry segment last???? Why is this? Is Mark Henry gonna strip Lana naked or something? (PG GRANT) GOD DAMNIT!!!! Lana would be crazy in TV-14 mode! She is Debra 2.0.! Let the truth be told! She has mastered d!ck teasology 101!

GRANT BODY – P!

The question remains – will the crowd support Mark Henry like they did Wack Swagger? You dun know me, Mike Knoxxx and Spotface will be watching this closely…

As much as I love the ‘What?’ chant…. the crowd doing this against the man who is supposed to be supporting the States?

Oh no! Lana put Mark Henry on blast!!!! He failed in the 1992 Olympic games! And Lana showed the true champion he represented Russia! OH SNAP!!! Dayuuum Henry how you gonna come back from this?

By pledging allegiance to the flag???? Well yeah but NO! Rusev tries to attack Henry!!! But Check it – Rusev, tries for the Accolade super move! Henry fights out of it! Sets up Rusev – Sit out chokeslam – BLAOW!!! Is that a new super move???? I hope so! He’s gonna need it! Henry made a promise to not let his people down! YES!!!! THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!!! I need to send for my Mark Henry shirt on Sunday and represent!!!!

OFFICIAL STC ANTHEM FOR NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS: SKYZOO – LIKE A SHOTGUN

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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