Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!
Wrestling fans are f**k!n crazy… you know what I’m saying? WWE is ridden with injuries, muthaf***az are posting pics of a fat @$$ man wearing not very much, Y’all need to stop that battyman sh!t! Some wannabe jabroni wants to be called The Rock JR, one idiot claims the only reason why Bret Hart is famous is because of the screwjob, and y’all still want the muthaf***!n attitude era back, and y’all can’t spell attitude properly. RETARDNESS LEVEL OVER 9000! Y’all act like WWE never survived the Monday Night Wars and sh!t… It’s the world of the Internet Wrestling Community folks, and their nemesis is out to shut em all down! THAT’S WHAT I DO!
RAW #1175! I LOVE THIS WRESTLING SH!T! I LOVE NAOMI MORE THOUGH! – HOL’DAT – BLAOW!
Do you think Vincent Kennedy or Triple Teef will open the show and announce that we are shifting to a new format because you are tired of having your intelligence insulted? NOT A CHANCE!!! Snap out that f**k!n dream!
Where’s Xavier Woods Intercontinental Championship? The Miz had to take it from his house and give it to Xavier after he brukk up his blousecup at Street Fighter 2! It was brilliant! Yo I need to show you that… it could be better than this week’s RAW!
So that was what the confetti was for! I thought the New Day won Deal Or No Deal! Nope – it’s to give Sheamus the championship welcome that he so rightfully deserves! Look at Sheamus in his good suit!!! And he gelled his hair back!!! Look at him dancing with The New Day! Xavier blowing the trombone! They taking the pi$$! Sheamus 5:15 says – I JUST WHIPPED ROMAN REIGNS @$$! Cue the shirts! It will sell by the bucketload! Pyro going off and all sorts!
HOL ON! During the celebrations Roman Reigns attacks Sheamus! Superman Punch – BLAOW!!! And him gone with the title! He can’t do that! And he’s smiling about it!
There he is, celebrating and running jokes with The Usos and Deano, then they bump into Triple & Steph! But check it out! Triple asks for the belt back, Roman plays mind games with Triple and gives it to Stephanie…well I would give it to Stephanie too…jussaying…
GRANT BODY – P!
But hear the joke! Stephanie says he gotta fight Sheamus for the World Wrestling Federation Title, but he gotta brukk up Sheamus in 5minutes 15 seconds! Well The GRANT SAYS – Stephanie, I’d usually go two and a half hours to three, but with you, lasting less than 5:15 for YOU to cum shouldn’t be too hard.. PAUSE!
BAH GAWD THAT IS ENOUGH!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD!
BACKSIDE!!!! Lana back on TV for the first time since her injury, it looks like she went back to wearing the tight blouse & skirt! And you fools thought she was gonna be fired after her tweets to Paige calling her a bully… you ‘stupid Americans’!!!
(Note from The Grant: I love my American People. You have given me crazy opportunities. You know who you are… I give you mad props!)
The crowd still wants Lana!!! Forget about it now guys! Back to the vaseline and the sock for you!!!
Love conquers all! Break ups to Make ups right Method Man?!!! Rusev is like – You and I til the day we die!
Lana says she and Dolph never did the nassssty! Crowd are like – YES YOU DID! Rusev was like – he never put it in Summer! Er… YES YOU DID!!!
Look at Rusev getting in that tongue! THAT’S HOW TO DO IT ZIGGLER!!
Now I think about it… I believe Lana was telling the truth… maybe Ziggler wanted to put it in where it stinks and not in the pink…I told you Ziggler was cumse-cumsa!
NO!!! FOR GAWD SAKES NO! WHAT A NO GOOD HEINOUS HUMAN BEING!
I cannot believe what Triple Teef just said to Deano…if Roman fails to defeat Sheamus in 5:15, not only does Roman lose his shot at the TLC joint, but Deano loses his Intercontinental opportunity as well? OH COME ON!!! Ok this is the part where I cannot call what’s gonna happen here!
For real? The Wyatt man dem double chokeslammed the Dudley bwoy through tables on SmackDowns????
AAAH SH!T! The Dudley Boys got tables with the Wyatts names on them? Come on New Day step in and stop this! Save The Tables! I don’t care if it’s the rotten Wyatts – HOLD UP – Tommy Dreamer??? I thought that dude retired???!!! Guess not!
“As crazy as ECW was there’s nothing like the Wyatts…” Er JBL…I swore blind Undertaker and Kane f**ked them up like two weks ago… I got four words for you…
Haha The Wyatts tried to put the Dudleys through the table again but SWITCH! Bubba Ray charged into Wyatt! Through the table – BLAOW!!! AAAAH SH!!!!T! Calling it now – we know these guys will find themselves in a tables match , but they gonna set those muthaf***az on fire, especially if Tommy Dreamer is involved1 All they need now is SABU! And it would be a wrap!
I’m not a Zeb Colter fan but I like his new direction, me and him are alike in a way that he hates ‘haters on social media’… I hear ya Zeb… all they do his whaaawhaaawhaa like b!tches, crossing their legs and sh!t!
Hmmm Charlotte and Becky Lynch are interested in a spot of sparring! Watch Paige get involved in this sh!t and make it a Triple Threat affair at the TLC joint… again, Team B.A.D. getting dissed… if the ultimate goal is for any member of Team B.A.D. to get the title at WrestleMania… then you know what? I’m good!
Hold up – RIC FLAIR IS HERE!!! Oh no!!! He loves hanging with his daughter doesn’t he? Or more like – his daughter’s friend Becky!!! Careful girl… Ric Flair loves his women young… a bit like Peter from Hollyoaks!!!
GRANT BODY – P!
Ok maybe not THAT young but you get the point…
You can’t put The New Day on commentary??!!!! For that 5 minutes and 15 seconds… they killed it on commentary more than Mike Cole & JAY-BEE! Then they teefed the Lucha dragon and The Uso Brudda which means, The New Day defend their titles against NOBODY! If Teddy Long was here… that would not be happening, you would hear him say – Now hold on a minute playa!
Creative are going IN this week! Lucha Dragons get their shot at the tag titles, but if Roman fails to defeat Sheamus in 5:15 minutes… then The Usos lose too? STEPHANIE TEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!
Hold up – has creative gave Team BAD the creative keys as well? They cutting promos against Brie Bella and quoting UNITY!!!! in a Rick James voice! Brie Bella, you gonna get your @$$ kicked! Your Brie Mode is no match for Team BAD’s UNITY!!! And just for that, I wanna see my baby… I would make love to her.. to Raphael Saadiq’s Ask Of You…
Just give me all your lovin’
Girl, I’ll do all the rubbin’
That’s all I ask of you
I’ll kiss you anywhere
(I’ll kiss you anywhere, baby)
Yes, love, even there (Even there)
That’s all I ask of you!!!
You can’t call me a dutty bwoy when my LOVE – (not LUST) for Naomi is REAL!
AAAH SH!T!!! They running the match NOW??? I smell a swerve….
OH MY DAYS! Sheamus has got a Sheamus 5:15 shirt!!!! I’m telling ya – that’s gonna fly off the shelves! There’s even a hashtag! And you call Sheamus boring… how STUPID do YOU LOOK!
GRANT BODY – P!
Wait a minute – TEEEEEEEEEF!!!! Sheamus has assembled his team! Bertie, Barrett and Rusev – They are the League of Nations! OH NO!!!! They just baited up Roman Reigns! Does that mean Deano and the Usos lost their championship opportiunities???
But what killed me was Sheamus put his sweaty arms round poor Lillian!!! HA! HA! HA! Yes – YOU were the ones who said Sheamus is boring… YOU DUMB RARSE!
Thank you stupid stream – now I missed the Charlotte Vs Becky Lynch contest! But check it – has Charlotte adapted to her father’s teefing tactics? I caught the end and it looked like Charlotte mash up her leg, Ric Flair had the ref distracted and Charlotte defeated Becky with a distraction roll up pin! TEEF! Charlotte is only being true to her genes! Dirtiest playa in the game right? Yep I see the science here.. they gonna turn Charlotte heelish because the crowd love Sasha… the boss lady gonna walk into her title match as the FACE. As far as Naomi & Tamina… I don’t know…
Hold up… you mean to tell me that The New Day now join the League of Nations to take on the Roman Empire (Roman, Deano, Uso Brudda) That’s 7 Vs 4??? TEEEEEEEEEF! But we have seen worse… We have seen 11 on 3, we have seen the Rock Vs The McMahon Helmsley Regime… don’t get me started on that…
AAAH SH!T! The Roman Empire are taking turms stamping out The New Day just like how they do it in the corner! (remind me to adjust settings on WWE2K16…)
That’s not good, Y’all USOS LOOK ALIKE! One of em jumped off the top ropes and mashed up his knee… it best be for show – WWE cannot suffer another casualty! All I’m saying is – some of those injured muthaf***az better make quick recoveries like Cena… either that or WrestleMania becomes NXTMania! Well I’m sure you jabronies wouldn’t mind that now would you?
One man down in the Empire and Xavier sent for the 8th tag team partner – THE TROMBONE!
But the combined force proved too much for the Roman Empire… well looks like creative gonna be paid bonus this month because that was a cracking show, because Vincent Kennedy must have gave you guys one piece of cussing after last week! And big ups to the cameramen! Great job fellas! You caught this shot beautifully…
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.
Thanks to our friend The Infamous Informer, Wolverhampton’s most wanted Mr Michael Grant
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