Tag Archives: Chris Malendez

THE JOBBER BLOGGER #125 – TNA: NO SURRENDER – 17/9/14

THE JOBBER BLOGGER

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The Jobber Blogger

I guess the time is ticking and sticking like a freshly licked lolly pop I dropped on my trousers.

Also known as Trouser Pop, an unknown genre of Pop Music and happens to be the title of a lesser known Hanson song.

hanson

That’s a good sign for things to come huh?

Yes it’s Sunday, it’s 8:55pm and I’ve got two hours to complete the Jobber Blogger before my eagerly awaiting fans gather round to read it. By fans, I mean two. By eagerly awaiting I mean… they aren’t.

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nosurrenderTNA: NO SURRENDER – 17/9/14

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Taryn Terrell vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love vs. Rebel vs. Brittany vs. Havok – #1 Number One Contenders Match – Knockouts Championship

Ah hah!

I actually remembered to follow up with my Predictions List! Yes, this makes everything much better and far more entertaining!

Also this happens to be the second time I remember to do it. So yay? The first was when Anderson had the “Committed” match with Shaw. When the hell was that?

No Surrender was pretty good, and TNA has been pretty damn good of late as it is. Even more praise is shooting out the kazoo for their latest Impact Tapings.

So kudos, and kazoodos for kicking off the Televised special with a Wrestling Match! You wouldn’t think it was that hard to get right, would you?

kazoo

I made the prediction that Havok would be the smart money to bet on, I was right. Too bad I went with Velvet huh?

Despite the chances in this match, it was really just to give Havok an exhibition. I don’t dislike her. I like to poke fun with the Disco Bane and Skrillex comments, but hey, makes me laugh. Isn’t that why I write this thing every week, to make myself laugh!? Of course it is.

discobane

Rebel takes a hard landing to the floor rolling down the Steel Steps, despite her not really being ring ready, on the ground of her breaking her arm. She does have a good look and seems to enjoy throwing herself down some steps. So, the future is bright?

However, her doing the splits to dodge, though “different”, highly impractical.

How’s that for journalism.

Havok Won – no face!

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Kenny King vs. Chris Malendez

This was an awkward impromptu match.

Here’s why this annoyed me. MVP and Kenny King headed to the ring to call out Malendez, to then give him this great opportunity of Carrying luggage.

Why was that scripted?

Why waste time with that crap? Malendez needs some work on the mic, but hey, first time. I can let that slide.

Then we immediately hit the territory, just like that. King goes on about how he’s only got one leg, go back to “Boot Camp”, blah blah blah.

Now I’m not going to pretend like I’m offended, because I’m really not. What bugs me is that Malendez gets the sympathy vote, I’m sure that’s the last thing he personally wants. Having someone who is obviously not a fit for the Wrestling business, be written as a Character who is not fit for the Wrestling business, who has people mock him, and then beat the crap out of him.

Why would you sign the guy?

You signed the guy because he’s impressive, because he’s 6ft plus, he has a good look, he’s strict, trained, a War Hero.

Don’t let him be an idiot who casually walks out to meet the bad guy and offered jobs of lackeys, then gets made fun of then beaten down.

The only people that wins over, are those who feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for him, it’s a horrible, horrible accident, but what empowers that, is his stride to overcome it.

What I don’t feel sorry for, is someone getting into the Wrestling business to suck ass at it. Again, I know he’s being Written this way, but how am I supposed to get on board with that, that doesn’t reflect on the sympathy angle where I cheer for him because “He’s very good, given his disability”. When you could have people cheer for him because “He’s Very Good”.

The entire match was Malendez getting the crap kicked out of him by Kenny, till in the end he Managed a roll up and won, then got beaten up even more.

Yay, this guy sucks! Well done TNA on signing someone who sucks, again!

This is my point, you tell me how good he is, you show me clips of how he can wrestle, you put Bully, Devon, Anderson and Kurt’s stamp of approval on him, then you write his character so he sucks and can’t defend himself.

What am I supposed to take from that?

Anderson came to the rescue, so I guess this is a learning curve type of thing. So who knows. But it’s TNA, so I can take a pretty damn good guess.

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Homicide vs. Samoa Joe – X-Division Championship

I’m going to say it, the fact that this match took place, is ridiculous.

Sure, back in the day Homicide was a “guy” in the Division, but he’s never been great. Now you’ve got guys who are great, and they’ve been passed up literally for months to cater to the “Home field” advantage by bringing in crowd favourites to bury your talent.

Wow, you hired this awesome Luchador from Mexico, you’re right, he’s incredible. But he sucks compared to “Blam Blam” Homeboy I can do a freakin flip, Homicide.

He’s not even signed with you. So you use him to bury the guys you have signed to your roster.

Here’s a thought, screw the home field advantage and build your talent.

Guess what, Samoa Joe isn’t from New York, but people love him. Crazy Steve has barely done anything or given any screen time, and they love him too.

People respond to Tigre Uno because he’s so impressive in the ring. Give him the time.

Also lol –

homicideblamblamhomeboyI told you I make myself laugh.

Speaking of things that make me laugh, Tenay and Taz plugged the next round of Impact Tapings by saying “You can see yourself on TV!”

Which is one of two things, or in fact, both things!

Your struggling to sell tickets so you add in the extra boost of people being on TV, which is a poor, poor way to sell your product.

And number two, in a related sense, there will be so little people attending the TV Tapings, that you are Guaranteed to see yourself on Television.

Just saying.

Blam Blam hit a Cutter on Joe and didn’t win, thank fully. I hate the Cutter. But I also Love the Cutter. DDP was the guy, Orton uses it well, Bully pulls it out here and there. It bugs me when people use the same finishes. Least it’s not as annoyed as Taryn using it, but whatever.

The only good thing from Homicide using the Cutter is that Joe countered it into a joke – mid air, and won the match.

James Storm, Sanada and the new Super Manik then crashed the segment.

There is no reason, at all, for James Storm to be re-designing the X-Division as Cultural Luchadores.

My only hope is that Tigre Uno might actually get some better TV Time.

predictwonbluelineThe Hardyz vs. Team 3D vs. The Wolves – Ladder Match

Again, fairly obvious who was going to Win this match.

The first match in the Series, was freakin awesome! The Tables Match, wasn’t as good, still good, just not as good as I had hoped.

But then I always find Tables Match lack. They really aren’t all that exciting unless quite a few Tables are used. Hence my moan at only one member of the Team going through a Table. Which means people have to put themselves through a few tables, or they introduce other weapons to make them more entertaining.

However, Ladder Matches can be fantastic on their own. And also work better with more weapons.

If a match is So Good, you should just watch it.

There’s nothing I can say to do it justice, so just watch it.

This match was awesome, best in the Series so far and I will put into the Match of the Year Nomination, however! I might also take it out given on how good the final match in the Series is, and people are saying IT IS AMAZING!

Super hyped!

Sucks it’s not at BFG though.

The Wolves pick up the win.

predictwonnoface bluelineBram vs. Gunner

This match happened.

Not sure why they put it between the top two matches of the card.

Earlier on in the night Gunner told Shaw that Brittany has a thing for him, to which he replies “My mind is already occupied with someone else”.

Billy and Chuck, I’m telling you.

gunnerandshawandanderson

Gunner “injured” his knee, Shaw went crazy and got involved, accidently clothesline’d Gunner and Bram picked up the win.

Despite the crap story with Gunner and Shaw, Bram’s rise to the top is quite interesting. They keep pushing how good he is. And guess what, I believe it. Because he’s impressive, he wins, he fights, he doesn’t back down. Not like Malendez, who gets his ass kicked because he politely turned down being a lackey! Why would I like that!!!?

bluelineBobby Roode vs. Bobby Lashley – World Heavyweight Championship

I wonder if Lashley will be called Bobby again now?

Another thing that goes through my head is wondering what Roode was thinking when he decided to wear some crappy looking sex jacket to the ring.

His Robe was awesome. It worked. This looks terrible.

Something else that is pretty damn awesome, is Lashley’s new music. I’ve always liked it, but I enjoy how it just changes the mood. He feels like a force. I like that.

Which brings me to what I really, really don’t like.

Lashley rolls out the ring and MVP calls for a Time-Out, and the ref lets them have it. MVP and King wipe his face, and continue to get involved.

Lashley should not have these guys outside for him. He’s supposed to be this beast, he’s supposed to be unstoppable.

When you give him help, he looks weak. He shouldn’t be booked weak. You shouldn’t have his friends wiping his face! No!! That’s just No….Nooo!! NOOO!!

NooooooooooooFanHe’s even doing a Face-Palm… could it get any better!

Do you know what I do like, is the Roode Bomb. I enjoy the move, but I detest the name.

Utterly stupid name for a super cool move.

What makes it cooler is Roode using it to “Roode Bomb” Lashley right to the floor, and Credit to Lashley for taking it, literally right to the floor. Looked really painful, and also really cool!

In the end though Roode leap frogged Lashley’s attempted Spear and “injured” his leg, to which Lashley then speared him and won.

I don’t know quite where to place the match.

The match was really good! Really good! But it’s not so memorable. I also feel this isn’t done yet.

Which means!

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I knew Lashley was going to win well before this match was going to take place, EY spoiled it in an interview I read. So technically the Prediction doesn’t count!

bluelineRight now, I’m in the mood for Bound for Glory.

I want a great PPV just like Slammiversary was.

Though with all the problems in TNA right now, the booking, change arounds, no matches are really being built for the Biggest show of the year, in Japan of all places. The only thing they are building is James Storm’s revolution.

Who knows.

Till then.

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

www.TheJobberBlogger.wordpress.com

www.TheStealChair.com

www.StrikeTapandGrapple.com

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The Jobber Blogger #124 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 10/9/14

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The Jobber Blogger

I’ve never really been that into South Park. I can respect Matt and Tray, I like their thinking and stance. Not so much their humour.

But if there is one thing they got right, it’s:

americaThe best way to poke fun at how much Americans love themselves. I will be honest, I sort of sucks that the majority of the UK really isn’t that patriotic. UK and USA are two vastly different things to Chant.

I suppose though, when this episode of Impact was filmed, it would have aired on September 11th, in New York. So that’s cool, I get it.

I can understand the thinking of American Hero’s, and War Hero’s, but a lot of the time, you only hear negative things. What makes one of these guys a Hero? So many good Men and Women serve, but the ones who get injured or traumatized seem to be those that are worthy of Heroism.

I’m not going to kick off the Jobber Blogger by saying anything too much on that subject, but of course this all plays into the opening of the show, which as it is, has a lot of problems.

bluelineImpact Wrestling LogoTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 10/9/14

bluelineChris Malendez vs. DJ Z

Under no circumstances can TNA convince me they Signed Malendez because he’s a great Talent, they signed him because of the reputation, the media and the publicity that goes a long with it.

Chris’ story is awesome, I think he’s hugely admirable. But I just can’t see a bright future for him. I’m not sure how long he’s signed to TNA for, but I would be surprised if he’s still around by the time his contract his up.

A one legged Wrestler, makes headlines, a one legged American Hero draws attention.

So let’s not beat it round the busy anymore shall we, is Chris Malendez impressive, simple, Yes.

But why.

He’s only impressive because of his limitation. Now if he had two legs, he wouldn’t have been anywhere close to working with TNA.

Let’s be fair shall we, his current in ring skill is based on his condition, and it is great. As someone who Hated Zack Gowen, I like Malendez. I think he has a good look, he’s impressive, agile, strength, awesome tattoos, cool music.

But to be able to Defeat DJ Z with a Samoan Drop, nope, not happening.

There is no way, At All that Malendez would ever be capable of defeating anyone on the TNA Roster. Just not possible.

For a “Sport” that struggles enough to find legitimency, adding a guy with a Winning Streak with one leg who really can’t Wrestle anywhere close to the Level of the TNA Roster, that just pisses me off.

I’m not trying to make this personal. I love his story, he seems like an awesome guy. Totally happy for him. But there is no way you can put him in the ring with Austin Aries, and expect that to be a great match. He wouldn’t be able to compete with him. DJ Z hit a Chop Block, it’s already looked as “Such a Heel move!” because he has one leg, it’s freakin’ Wrestling.

Imagine Aries running Circles around him, drop kicking him on the floor, diving over the ropes at him, he wouldn’t be able to do anything, and yet Malendez might beat him, with a Samoan Drop?

I noticed some of the padding fell off his False Leg, Gowen Wrestled without his prosthetic, a giant thick Metal Pole might cause some Damage for a guy who lands on it. Or has it land on them.

That seems like an accident waiting to happen.

Also I said this last time, but Bully and Devon’s Wrestling School, given the talent who has come from it that turned up in TNA, they need better training.

So Malendez beat Zema, which just shouldn’t happen. I get the “push”, but you only push him so far. Or by all means, push him up against Bobby Lashley, see what happens then. I seem to remember Lesnar obliterating Gowen. So you can copy that Storyline.

Samoan Drop my ass, he would have landed harder on a Back Drop, and no one loses on a Back Drop!

bluelineBobby Roode, Eric Young and Samoa Joe vs. MVP, Kenny King and Bobby Lashley

A nice 6man Tag to build up some much needed speed between Roode and Lashley’s collision next week.

Speaking of things I can do without, is the “tip toeing” around between Roode and EY. They’ve not ran the Video Package of “They were once like Brothers!” but you better believe it’s coming.

RoodeEyBrothers

It was literally a few months back when Roode and EY started building this “mutual respect” thing before Roode’s face turn. All on the heels of their history, Team Canada mainly, and that they’re both Canadians. And in case if you forgot, in Canada, a Deal is a Deal!

Welcome to Canada

Roode and EY are throwing around “You’re my Best Friend” in a bucket of sick love more than Barney the Dinosaur.

I can’t stand it. Why are you pushing this so much? If it’s anything like, oh I don’t know, EVERY OTHER TIME! TNA have pushed friendship, one of them is going to turn on the other. At this rate, it looks like EY might have an issue with Roode. Then we shall get the “They were once like Brothers!” Video Package of Bobby Roode screaming “You were my best friend!” which sobbing into a wet fish…. with a beard.

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The Line that made you Face Palm with your inner palm was Roode saying “EY, you will always be a World Champion to me!”

I bet Roode himself cringed when he read that script.

It pisses me off, it’s like TNA feel this need to pander to the audience so much because they are mainly thick!

Stop telling me the same thing! I got it from them hugging and knowing history, sorted. I don’t need them to tell me it again, and again and again, whilst the announcers and video packages repeat it for me. If they had their way Roode and EY would be kissing each other on the cheek, slapping each others’ ass and getting Married like Billy and Chuck.

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Okay so I’m have a good ranting session this week, it brings out my best material.

Guess what else pissed me off, Roode giving Lashley the “My heart is bigger” speech.

Let’s see, He’s Bigger, Tougher, Stronger, Faster, but the fact you can withstand his onslaught longer makes you think you will win? No, it means you will get your ass kicked just that little bit longer, before you inevitably lose.

Roode was such a good heel, now he’s becoming the whining do goody, Baby face that likes your favourite Ice Cream, Saturday night Television and Cuddles!

The crowd was good.

Roode won by defeating MVP with his Roode Bomb… the worst named Finisher going. It’s not even a Bombing type manoeuvre.

bluelineThe Bromans and Velvet Sky vs. Knux, Crazy Steve and Rebel

Do you know what this booking means.. ROB TERRY SUCKS!

Rob Terry Train

I don’t like Rob Terry, I don’t like the pairing of The Bromans with the Beautiful People (though I suspect they are out for their own motives), or that they will split and The Bromans will choose Bro’s over Ho’s. Probably happen.

This is the first time we’ve seen Rebel wrestle. She’s not good. To make matters worse she recently broke her arm. Apparently she’s very under trained. Which is a shame, I like her with Knux.

Which brings us to the best bit!

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Now I believe he’s probably much better in the ring than we’ve ever seen. But the Character, is awesome. He makes it work, and he’s just on a whole different level. Knux, Terry, Rebel, all quite easily could be fired tomorrow and the entire Menagerie thing can carry on just fine without them.

Aside from the fact that the whole meaning of the name is a group of course.

Velvet picks up a win by holding the trunks of Rebel… too much.

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EC3 vs. Rhino – Street Fight

I cannot believe that I just wrote “Street Fish!”

I’ve corrected it of course, but the fact my instinct went to Fish, amuses me greatly.

streetsharks

I suppose a Street Fish is pretty much a Street Shark, and they were awesome.

This whole thing kicked off with Kurt Angle, Mr. Fish himself, with his puckered up sucker lips.

Kurt Fish

Angle has never felt genuine, or real in his entire run as the Executive Director. He sounds so de-motivated that I just don’t believe a single word out of his mouth.

Things like “I…look..forward..to…being…here…each…..and…….ev…er..y weeeeeeek”.

I got bored typing that.

What I did like however was the whole “You don’t look like you’re ready to Wrestle.. good, I won’t make you… it’s a Street Fight!” Or fish, I’m easy.

The match was what it was.

Thankfully EC3 won, this whole thing is putting over EC3 more than anything else. Was that the point?

The crowd seemed to be enjoying cheering for him too. Hey, whatever, Rhino sucks.

I get the thinking of Rhino being a New York guy, given his ECW heritage. But when you put him as a mindless idiot, even if he decides he wants to eat a guys Ass (his words, not mine), no body cares, because you booked him as a mindless idiot.

There’s only one thing I want to see now, is that mindless idiot get his ass kicked. So I’ve enjoyed it.

bluelineThe new Knockouts Calandar is now a Storyline, so that’s exciting. Nothing sets the Knockouts Division apart from the Divas more than letting them post for a Calander in their skimpiest clothes then fall out with each other over who is prettier and petty jealousy.

That worked wonders.

And just like you would suspect, Velvet and Angelina are having issues again. Why, dear lord, why, do they need to be this way? Why does it have to be Angelina forcing herself as the dominent one. Why can’t they just be bad together.

I hate that.

Clearly Angelina is the leader, because it’s a Wrestling business and Velvet struggles to run the ropes, let alone anything more complicated then that. Case closed, facts are facts people.

ODB is in the Calandar.. but not the Company. Flaw number one.

Brooke is in the Calander, not seen her in how long?

Then Disco Bane crashed the party with some of that Dubstep’z and stole Gail’s Knockouts Championship. Which led them to fight each other for a while.

Also Bane beat up some guys, Taz seemed suprised. I do like the fact that they picked the skinniest guys around. Not really head turning levels of impressive.

Could be worse though, she could be Chyna. Come to TNA for one match, fall over whilst picking up Jarrett then leaving right away to go back to Porn…. and look like a man.

Wow… I’m brutal this week! I like it!

bluelineJames Storm and The Great Sanada vs. Austin Aries and Tajiri

I always thought some objects, tools and lark would be universal. Like a Spanner, it would still be Spanner in a different country, just a different name, same job.

Yet apparently in Japan their tools are a little different. Evidently their Buzz Saws must be rather slow, dull, out of shape and boring.

“You still got it!” – Funny, I don’t remember a time when he had it.

The great leader James Storm, who won his first match in ages by being on the Winning team, seems like an odd fit for the character he’s playing.

Again, I like the idea behind it. I just don’t like the execution. I don’t think the Silver Bathrobe and Beer Bottle make Storm look like Revolutionary Leader. He looks like a Drunk who got a shower in his robe.

bluelineTeam 3D vs. The Hardyz vs. The Wolves – Tables Match

Another good match, but still not on the Level I’m looking for.

I hate to say it, but Matt really seems a step behind everyone else and it’s rather noticeable.

My originally prediction was quickly turned around when I realised the pattern. Which now means, it’s less impressive.

The Wolves are going to win in the Ladder Match next week, then I imagine we will have Full Metal Mayhem, combining the Tables and the Ladders. Much like how TLC was put together originally.

This isn’t really a problem, only that you know who will win. But you don’t know, is who will win the actual match that matters, which would be the final one.

Another thing I dislike about Tag-Team Tables matches, is that One guy needs to go through a Table. I get that it can get rather confusing after a while, but both guys need to go through a Table for a match to be won. That’s the best way to do it!

The Hardyz picked up the win with Jeff dropping a Swanton from the top rope to the floor putting Eddie through a Table.

Also how naff do the Wolves look now, losing twice, and Eddie being the deciding factor both times (I believe).

Jeff climbed up a Ladder whilst Matt dragged his sorry ass as high as he could, out of breath, panting he issued the Challenge for next week.

bluelineWhich brings us to next week – No Surrender!

Knockouts Battle Royal

Homicide vs. Samoa Joe

Hardyz vs. Team 3D vs. Wolves – Ladder Match

and

Bobby Lashley vs. Bobby Roode – World Championship

bluelineYay, time for the Predictions!

I forgot to do this segment the last few times, so let’s drop it like it’s hot.

If the Knockouts Battle Royal is for the Championship then Gail will Win.

If it’s a Number One Contenders.. the smart choice would be Havok, but I will go with Velvet.

Samoa Joe will retain, it’s insulting to think any other way.

The Wolves will win.

Bobby Lashley will win.

bluelineTill then!

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

www.TheJobberBlogger.wordpress.com

www.TheSteelChair.com

http://www.StrikeTapandGrapple.com

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