Tag Archives: Christian

Monday Night Raw #1080: February 3, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

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The Infamous Informer

I know you hate me, don’t you
I bet you sit and wish my time never came
You probably rather see me die in the game
You probably rather see me die in a plane
Well ya’ll see me up on top of my dough
I get my money sh!t changed…
(Scarface, In Between Us, 2001)

You jabronies act like the world has come to an end! Your saviour walked out on yo’@$$ for YOUR SINS… you can make it like the WWE didn’t book Mr Brooks in the main event of WrestleMania… but the TRUTH is – it is YOU who didn’t support Phil properly, you chant his name, but you don’t lead a straight edge life like I do.. you don’t put your hand in your pocket to support him… you would rather stream the PPV for free then complain afterwards because John Cena kicked out at 2. You claim to be CM Punk followers but you don’t follow his prophecies… That’s like reading the bible but you’re not being fruitful, and multiply!!!! YES, I am the Infamous Informer, Your favourite heel, and it’s YOUR FAULT!!! Don’t blame the WWE on some pass the buck sh!t… it’s YOUR FAULT! All this Best For Business sh!t is JUST THAT – BUSINESS… It’s not BEST FOR YOU!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Life goes on – DEAL WITH IT! RAW #1080! HOL ‘DAT – BLAOW!!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZHere comes Mr 2 Belts! Ladies Favourite Randall TEEF Orton! Didn’t I see the Seahawks wield the WWE Title after they won the Superbowl? I think I did! I gotta find that pic…

And immediately the crowd are chanting for CM Punk!!! Forget it!!!! He’s not coming! He’s sitting in his yard eating yogurt, chocolate bon bons!!! Probably drinking Pepsi and sh!t!

Lawwwd have mercy Stephanie is telling Randall about himself! Is it me or is she and Triple throwing shots at CM Punk subliminally?

Randall is such a biatch that now the authority are actually considering making Danny the face of the company – that is if Danny defeats Randall?

I have a question for you wrestling dorks: Why do you always say that Triple ‘buries’ people? And he uses a shovel? Don’t you realise that he has a HAMMER in his office? He doesn’t use a bloody shovel you PEA – BRAINS!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

6-man jump off!!! The Shield Vs Langston, Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston! I LIKE THIS! LET’S GO!!!

It’s good to see the crowd backing Rey here. That justifies the confusion about the rumble… Rey knows he was only booed because he was #30 and Danny didn’t get a look in.

Is it me or is Roman Reigns busted open after Langston brukk up his clart?!!

OH SNAP!!! So it ain’t just Bray that can talk that cryptic sh!t! Now one of the other bwoy can talk sh!t and whistle??? While the other dude with the buzzard mask don’t say sh!t??? WROOOOY! Gotta say this battle with the Shield Vs The Wyatts is WrestleMania quality! When was the last time you saw the Shield shook in the ring?

CAN I HAVE SOME DECORUM PLEASE!!!! AND SHUDDUP! BECAUSE I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS!!! (RECORD SKIP!!!) Hold on, Jerry Lawler tells Barrett that he may not be around next week? What does he mean by that???? Answers on a postcard please! Tweet me @MZATheInfamous! Don’t be shy!!

Yes I did hear that Christian was back in the hiz-house!!! Come on Christian! for your Canadian brothers! Do it for my Canadian girlfren!!! Don’t let that dyam arse Swagger beat yuh!

Grant & Leanna

YES!!!! Christian GOT HIM!! Hahaha!!! Swagger you sir are WACK!!!! If I was you Zeb Colter I’d kick him out of the States!!! WE THE MUTHAF***!N PEOPLE MUTHAF***A!!!

OH SNAP!!! The steel cage ah come down now???? New Age Outlaws! The Rhodes Brudda! Someone is about to get F**KED UP in that muthaf***a!!! LET’S GO!!

Betty White to be a guest star on Raw next week? I would have asked who in the blue hell she is but Jerry Lawler just told me so it’s all good… The Golden Girls is classic but what about Desperate Housewife? And how come I can’t get that Devious Maids pon my telly??? No secret – I have such a crush on Roselyn Sánchez…. every time I see her something happens to my d!ck…

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JBL asks, who does the crowd chant for? The New Age Outlaws, or the Rhodes Brudda? Since they can’t decide, they opted for chanting CM Punk! How many times have I gotta tell you fans – CM Punk ain’t coming back!!!! Stop chanting his name – he doesn’t give a f**k about you!!! He didn’t get his muthaf***!n Ice Cream bars… now he’s a big baby!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

AAAH – HAAA!!! Mike Cole  hit the jackpot! New Age Outlaws now tag team champions because of the corrupted Triple TEEF!!!!! Best For Business I was told…. well yeah! We like to see these mans because they still got it!

I think that was actually a 3 count right there by Ref Mike Chioda!!! Cody Rhodes got robbed! Cody thinks f**k that – I’m climbing to the top of this muthaf***a, Moonsault on Road Dogg – BLAOW! Then Billy Gunn thought – ah yuh b!tch!!!! Fame-Asser – BLAOW!!!! THAT WAS CRAZY!

LAWWWD HAVE MERCY!!! Zack Ryder dep pon de telly!!!! Oh yeah I heard that Titus O’Neill turned evil against Darren Young… this is the Infamous Informer and I’m your favourite heel and this was what Titus was thinking all along…

W’happen? Zack Ryder lost again? What else is new? Told y’all muthaf***az – Zack Ryder is WACK!!!! He’s been WACK since 19 HOW LONG! GET OVER IT! And y’all still chanting for he who is not in the f**k!n building!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WTF???? WWE Supports BLACK HISTORY MONTH???? Ahmed Johnson where you at rude boy??? What must be going through his head???

While this dance off segment is bound to be dry, let’s talk about Summer Rae… the latest woman to be in the Total Divas series!

Hang on, maybe I should talk about this! Summer Rae dancing… I can feel the fangs in my gums growing! Now we gonna see this Emma-lution woman dance… she cyan’t dance!!! What the hell was that???? Sorry Emma you’re not getting in the bed with the Infamous Informer!!! GET IN THE CHAIR!!! Better yet, take out my majestic member! Put it between your wet lips! And suck!

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As much as I love Sheamus, he’s fighting Curtis Axel… this is the part where I put on my chocolate pudding… and you can’t have none! STOP CHANT THE BWOY BLODCLART NAME! GET OFF HIS D!CK! In Punk We Trust? I don’t trust that muthaf***a!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

…AND I SAY YEAAAH!!! I WALK ALONE INSIDE THIS PIT OF DANGER!!! Batista in the hiz-house! Obviously the crowd have Tourette’s because they keep chanting one name… thank god for Bertie who is telling my good fren Batista about how it runs around the wrestling circuit – yes he’s talking for the IWC… but YOU BOO HIM… WHY???? You fans make me sick!!!

Dolph Z!&&l£r gets no time on my blog… with that said: I hope the Wyatt Family f**k him up!!! It’s Black history month – don’t f**k up R-Truth and Xavier Woods!

Uh oh my boy Mark Henry is coming back in effect next week! Brock Lesnar stay the f**k out the arena!!! (like he’s gonna listen to me!)

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! YES! Drop that Sister Abigail on that Pink shirt wearing spaghetti head muthaf***a! Hang on stop – the Shield!!! They are not afraid of the Wyatts! And Bray is laughing! he welcomes the war!!! Yo Triple! Any chance we can extend this feud to WrestleMania? Get some weapons up in there? I dunno, parking lot brawl? New Orleans street fight??? Only that it’s in a real street???

Hold up – now this Yusef dude is in the main roster, who’s the russian chick???? YO! Y’all can keep your beloved CM Punk – THIS IS GREAT! Now my favourite Nubian Naomi is in the ring with Aksana, AJ Lee on commentary – 232 days as champion??? Only 202 days to go AJ! Then you can bugger off with your boyfriend too!

…and going by AJ’s commentary she is dissing my girl Tamina…. I’m telling you these two will fight at WrestleMania and I am backing Tamina all the way!!!

Naomi got whole heap a move, she just revealed her new supermove – a moonsault similar to RVD! I’m telling you this girl is reppin for Black History! I would love for her to win the belt but it’s already destined for AJ vs Tamina at WMXXX… can you feel it???

Now there is a hero to be proud of! Danny Bryan! You know what? I respect the hell out of Phil Brooks but I’m the Infamous Informer, Your favourite Heel and I’m just gonna go ahead and say it….

F**K CM PUNK!!!!!

YEAH I SAID IT!!! GRANT BODY – P!!!

Batista stole Danny’s destiny at the rumble but CM B!tch walks out? I don’t blame him in certain ways but Phil that’s a B!TCH MOVE!

Come on Danny!!! Do this for the Seahawks!!! They respect and honor you!

Seahawks Danny Bryan

And they continue to chant for that b!tch during this match? DISRESPECT!!!! Worst crowd ever!!! HA! HA! HA! Nah I’m playing!

Why don’t you chant for Mark Henry? He’s not here? Chant Kane! Chant Brock! Hell – chant Stone Cold Steve Austin! Chanting for he that does not exist in your building who doesn’t even care about your @$$ – so disrespectful to Randall and Danny! They are putting on a great match and this is what you do?

GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY Danny is f**k!n Randall up with those kicks!!! (I don’t hear you Theaker!!! Your boy Ziggler got f**ked up earlier! Got nuthin to say to me now have ya??!!!)

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Danny’s shoulder is exposed.. now Randall is gonna f**k up that shoulder. Randall does that – Danny cannot execute the Yes Lock effectively… he can do his super dragon kick though!

OH SNAP!!!! Randall lost to Danny! My hero Kane tried to TEEF! maybe Triple sent Kane to bait it up and it backfired!!! UH-OH!!!! But Randall & Kane are not done! CHOKESLAM!!!! BLAOW!!! I thought he was the D.O.O.??? That mean seh he can’t touch nobody! I think Kane wants to be fired!!!! He don’t care about no muthaf***!n suit!

Talking of not caring… nor does CM Punk… look at him, looks like he’s reading a comic… maybe it’s an anime comic… maybe it’s Urotsukidoji!!!!

Punk in his yard

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Smack Talk Centre-Raw Monday Night Raw #1054: August 5, 2013!!!

The Jobber Blogger TNA And The Infamous Informer WWE

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Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Monday Night Raw #1054: August 5, 2013!!!

Let me tell you something about me: I love hip hop, I come from the era where every artist came different, had their Corporate Austinown style and was being ORIGINAL. there was no biting… (what’s this got to do with wrestling) shut up and let me finish…??? Hip Hop is about EXPRESSION. Scratch that – Madonna did a tune called Express Yourself. That’s what Daniel Bryan be doing. EXPRESSING HIMSELF. He loves his beard, his crazy hair, and his wild technical wrestling style. NO ONE wilds out like Danielson, and the McMahons realise this that he is on the edge of being THE MAN of the company. So now they want to give him a makeover, try to mould him and be this corporate dude… THAT AIN’T GONNA WORK!!!! Just like I said last week, look what happened with Austin!!!! My advice to Danielson…. Tell the McMahon dem seh – DO YOU… BECAUSE YOU CAN’T DO ME!!!!

DON’T MAKE DEM CUT YOUR BEARD DANIELSON! RAW #1054! HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZI thought they banned the initial stage fireworks at the start of the show???? Ah forget it – Stephanie McMahon is on! GOD DAYUUUUUM!!!!

Well actually the makeover could have been a lot worse! Danielson comes out sporting a suit, his hair gelled back, and his beard is INTACT!! Maybe a woman’s touch works right??? Stephanie fix him up!!!! And Brie Bella couldn’t do that??? Yo Brie you may need to watch your girlfriend!!!! That goes for you Triple! Watch your wife! You saw what happened with her and Kurt!!!

Wait a minute – here comes Vincent Kennedy!!! And he’s not entirely satisfied!!! He wants the beard shaved off!!!! Vincent Kennedy sends for the barber chair… and tells Danielson – “GET IN THE CHAIR!!!!” I’m gonna be saying that all week!!!!! HA! HA! Did the beard go??? HELL NAWWWWW! Wack Barrett was gonna do the honors but Danielson beat him down and shaved half his beard! Next minute he reveals his new shirt – a dart thrown at Cena here – ‘THE BEARD IS HERE!!!’ at the front, and ‘YES! YES! YES!’ at the back!!! So that’s the rumoured heel turn of Bryan out the window!

Now this is interesting… Christian is already #1 contender for the World Heavyweight Title…but Rob Van Dam beat Bertie! WHOA!!! I smell a triple threat match brewing… but wait there – Ricardo baited up the match for Bertie! He didn’t mean it to go down that way, but Bertie kicked him down! Beat him down! Threw him out the ring! Placed his head between the steel steps and the ring post – ran up and kicked him – BLAOW!!!!!!! Oh lawd Ricardo – HE’S PROBABLY DEAD BY NOW!!!!

Now that Cody Rhodes has turned face, he finally has a voice???? Ok Cody you have given me joke by throwing Sandow’s briefcase in the drink… and you had Sandow crying like a b!tch…. you brought the briefcase back and it’s all mash-up! The contract looks like it was fed to the fishes! Oh dear! How is Sandow gonna cash in his cheque now???? This needs to be addressed at the Board of Directors! But the crowd didn’t look interested at all in the storyline…. DISRESPECT!!!!!

Ok RYBACK! MY HERO MARK HENRY! But the tables are turned! This time Ryback is the villain! Mark Henry is my hero! GET HIM MARK!!!! unfortunately as Henry was battering him, Ryback took foot and run gone…. these two gonna clash again at Summerslam surely! SEND FOR THE STIPULATION! Mark Henry don’t like that count out sh!t…. w’happen Ryback? Your belly full????

While Cena is in the ring talking sh!t, lets talk about the divas for a hot minute… the BellaGRANT - BODY - P Twins, they are up their own arse ain’t they??? They so fine… first I’m saying hi… then I’m waving goodbye…. but did you see Natalya drop that slap in Brie’s face – BLAOW!!!!!! Bwoy they need to get up off the Hamster Wheel!

Oh right – back to Cena… he was talking something about – he’s been 5 moves of dooming jabronies since January and Summerslam will be no different…Randall appears and lets Cena know who got the cheque, and the Shield think this segment was WACK so they thought justice must be served, next minute Danielson runs through… now here I was waiting for Teddy Long to say “Now hold on a minute playas” and announce a 6-man tag… but Brad Maddox has already learnt well!

Hold up – The Wyatt Family are in a match???? WHOA!!! Er Cameron! Naomi! come and seek sanctuary!!!!

Enough of that sh!t – It seems that The Wyatt Family have brought back the true essence of my hero Kane!!!! First PPV for Bray – and he’s fighting Kane in an INFERNO MATCH?????? Hear Michael Cole – “What does he mean by ring of fire??!!!” Michael Cole you get the OFFICIAL DYAM ARSE AWARD!!!!

So that’s why my baby mother turned evil… she wants ATTENTION… Layla baby I always rise at attention!!! I understand though… I’ve been busy lately, yes I am writing for an indy female wrestler, but that’s BUSINESS. I’m still #AllAboutThat with you baby!!!! Don’t get it twisted!

Gotta say AJ & Layla -or should I say Lay-J skipping all over the ring after they beat down Kaitlyn is BRILLIANT!

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While Christian is beating down Heath Slater I just wanna say HAPPY BORN DAY to fellow admin of the Smack Talk Centre and bossman of the BDSIR Network – Mike KNOXXX –  the championship belt KING!!! That’s right – spelt with three X’s because he’s HARDCORE! SALUTE MY NINJA!!!

MIKE KNOXXX CHAMPIONSHIP BELT KING

THE CLAWS ARE OUT! “LET’S GO PUNK!!!!” It’s clobbering time! Time to go Wolverine on Curtis Axel!!!

You know what? As I watch this match, and I see the evil look on Heyman’s face, and Punk hell-bent on destroying his former mentor, I remember the film Unleashed with Jet Li and Bob Hoskins….

…and just as Jet Li gets his hands on Bob Hoskins… HERE COMES THE PAIN!!!! That music hits and IT’S ON!!!! CM Punk & Brock Lesnar! David & Goliath! But this ain’t the bible! This is WWE!!! It looked like Punk was kicking Punk all over the ring, but then he saw Heyman…. NO Punk forget him for now!!! Oh no Brock got him – F5 – BLAOW!!!! Brock nah dun!!! “HURT HIM!!!” says Heyman! Brock with the steel chair – hit Punk in his back – BLAOW! hit him again – BLAOW! hit him again – BLAOW!!!!!! WROOOOOOOOOOY!!!! Big ups to my girl Renée Young who had to interview Heyman and his boys! Hey Renee baby girl! Come and interview me… let’s get to the sex questions!!! Well Brock told Heyman to say something stupid, and maybe he has! Next week – Heyman Vs CM Punk??? that’s gotta be walking into Death Row surely!

Summer Rae DON’T START ME WITH THEM LEGS!!! You gotta n!**@ wilding right now! Hold on – Michael Cole just said that Summer Rae loves Kofi Kingston’s fighting style and his new attire? Kofi…. now’s the time to put that Jafakecan accent on! I swear I would ravish that woman!!! I’d F**K Summer Rae… I LOVE LAYLA!!!

Notice I didn’t mention Fandumbgay? HA!

You know it’s all eyes on the main event at Summerslam, Vincent Kennedy is mad involved in it… I forgot that Triple is out to counter whatever dastardly plan Vincent Kennedy is trying to pull!!!!

Oh no what are these three racist idiots doing out here??? Ok let me go and get a drink…

Hang on – their opponents are the Usos??? BRILLIANT! KILL THEM USOS!!!!

F**K! How the F**K that these so-called Real Americans beat the Usos??? Yo Rikishi you gonna have to get involved in this rude boy! I would so love that!

Yes! that contest between Ziggler and Langston sweet me! You know why? Because Kaitlyn came back to beat down the happy-go-lucky skipping psychopath AJ, everything went haywire, and it enabled Langston to hit Ziggler with the super move – BLAOW!!!! That goes to show that YOUR HERO – THAT PINK PANTY WEARING BATTYBWOY IS TRULY A PU$$Y! He can’t fight by himself! He is weak!!!!! BIG UP LANGSTON!

Ladies and gentlemen… IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT’S TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!! 6-MAN TAG TEAM CONTEST, IN THE WWE, HEAVYWEIGHT DIVISION! ORTON! DANIELSON! CENA! SHIELD! LET’S GO!!!

Ah forget about it – you wanna wrestling match? Check for Ring of Honor… because this became all out RUCKUS! And just when the three top guys of the WWE had the Shield shook, Randall already dun warned Cena & Bryan – I can cash in my cheque ANY TIME.. RKO to both Cena & Bryan – BLAOW!!!! And any time could have meant right there and then… because the voices in his head were saying – ‘CASH IT IN NOW!!!’ But the Shield came back to pick up the pieces! I guess Randall is a patient man!

Now the question is out there in the IWC – has Randall turned evil???? I wouldn’t say so… because he dun warned them what would happen. The crowd didn’t necessarily like what happened out there, but for Randall, it’s going his way and that’s what he wants…. it’s more a slow-ish heel turn if you ask me… but he STILL isn’t cashing the cheque in at Summerslam, I’m standing by my prediction… but either way, it’s a win-win for the Infamous Informer. No point getting worked up and angry about it….. to me it’s just storyline progress… and don’t forget the Triple Teef factor as well…

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.