Smack Talk Centre-Raw
WWE is truly like Christmas: as a kid, you are mad excited, tossing and turning in the bed and sh!t, waking up your whole fam as soon as it hits daylight to open those presents… as an adult, all you do whine and complain like a B!TCH! WWE puts on a Christmas show for the kids, and you whine and complain? This is the part where I don’t consider myself a wrestling fan. I’m disgusted with you all. You make me sick. You are not worthy of reading this. F**k that – if you don’t like it, read it anyway! (Shout out to Mike Knoxxx!!)
Tiz’ Da Seazon To Be Jolly! Now nyam yuh turkey and SHUDDUP!!! RAW! #1126! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!
I didn’t watch live due to family commitments so lets see what WWE wants me to see…
So out of Ho Ho Hogan’s sack we got Big Show Vs Roman Reigns, remember Big Show, you gotta make him look strong now!
We got Bray Wyatt Vs Dean Ambrose in a ‘Miracle on 34th Street Fight’… if the Royal Rumble wasn’t coming up I would recommend a three stages of hell match between these two lunatics…
What the rarse does Cena want? Don’t tell me he wants to sit on Hogan lap…
What? Seth Rollins wants to sit on Hogan’s lap as well??? I don’t think Hogan’s leg pythons can handle the weight!
The only man to bring the Authority back is John Cena… damnit Cena BRING THEM BACK!!! Robbing the fans of seeing sexy Stephanie… and those Triple TEEF interviews I like to see every Wednesday, SORT IT OUT CENA!
But first! Cena Vs Rollins… and his stooges! After a great contest, Cena picks up the victory… that’s gonna please STC’s Curtis Geensen…. his favourite Warrior Princess prevails again! (You think he secretly fancies John???)
GRANT BODY – P!!!
You mean to tell me you let Fandango beat yuh??? When will you fools be real with me and admit??? I wanna see you on your crusty knees and say this: ‘Grant, you are right… Swagger is WACK!!!’ It’s ok… I’ll forgive you for your insolence… maybe…
OH NO! Exotic Express shut down!!! Of all the times Adam Rose has partied, he chose the festive season to be a Grinch… R-Truth showed him What’s Up, and now Adam Rose is beating on the bunny big time! Look at the women in the express! They’re in shock! There’s still a party over here ladies! On the plus side, it’s about time we got to see Adam Rose use his real skills properly… stop this nonsense and let’s see what you can really do… LEO KRUGER!!!
(side note, I couldn’t care less… just bring the Express ladies to me…. GRANT BODY – P!!!)
Remember what I said Big Show?? You gotta make Roman look strong!!! Do you think he was successful people? a count-out victory??? I’m sure I said something like – Big Show & Roman Reigns might be the last 2 in the rumble… in case you haven’t figured it out, I’m taking the p!$$ out of you Roman Reigns haters… the more you run him down… the more I’m gonna support him! Same goes for Cena… Yeah I said it! I’m more of a Reigns fan than Cena… I truly sick of the hating and whining…
Hmmm I kinda like Brie Bella’s attire…tell that b!tch to come here??? Let me rip what’s left of that outfit! Sorry Danny… your woman is fine…
Did Brie just blow a kiss to Tyson Kidd???? She can’t do that???!!!! Yo Danny – Talk to your girl yo!!!! That ain’t good!
And for no reason… let’s throw a pic of Natalya as the attire she wrestles in now…f**k that – it’s Christmas damnit!
Gotta show those thighs Natalya!!!!
HA! HA! Yes Luke Harper! Lick him down! About he’s lifting up his Intercontinental Title Belt! F**k the introduction!!! BEAT DOWN ZIGGLER! Don’t let me down this time Harper! In fact – f**k that – what would Bray Wyatt think???
Dayum Harper is killing Ziggler in that ring! Keep going! Get the title!!!! Harper the TITLE!!!!
Was that me or was Mike Cole stepping up his commentary game??? Yo Billal of the STC – I think Mike Cole heard ya!
Sh!t… Ziggler’s coming back… he still has a conscience…. (Anime/Urotsukidoji fans will understand this pic…)
Now THIS IS THE SH!T I’m waiting for! Lana & Rusev pon Piper Pit!!! Let’s see Lana tell Rowdy Roddy Piper to SHUT-TUP!
Wait a minute… Piper has a gift for Rusev & Lana? Well I’m not sure about Rusev but I have a ‘gift’ for Lana!!! All she gotta do is lift her tight skirt up, move panties to the side and let the music tell the story as I Put It In her Putin!
Draw down yuh draws and bend dung, skin out gyal meh want put it in deh!!!
How you caan brukk off di hood suh? Skin out gyal meh want put it in deh!!!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
OH SNAP – That’s the present??? Ryback complete with a bow tie??? That leaves Lana vulnerable!!! Use di Hot Rod Piper!!! Actually bad idea – Goldust is back there – I remember what happened in 1996!
Now if I was the booker I would have had Goldust come back out on Piper’s Pit and start the rivalry again!!! HA! HA!
OHHHHHHH!!! Oh my goodness! Summer Rae, Cameron, Alicia Fox, Emma, and especially Naomi they look HOTTTT in those Santa’s helper outfits!!! (er what about Pai-) MOVE YUH BACKSIDE!!! I’m sorry – I don’t find a pale @$$ zombie looking like she come from that film -World War Z attractive!
She calls herself an ‘anti-diva’ but she finds herself on Total Divas??? The show that YOU DON’T SUPPORT?!!!! Ok – when she’s on a show getting naked – don’t say SH!T to me… OK???
What sort of move was that by Alicia Fox???? That’s a bad gyal move!!! Cameron ain’t getting up from that sh!t!!!
Do you think Bray Wyatt celebrates Christmas??? Can you imagine him doing Christmas shopping in Merry Hill? No, me either…
Who has been wrapping steel chairs in those presents under the tree??? Dean Ambrose is the Christmas spirit alright!!!
No!!! Bray you can’t do that! That’s the Kitchen Table! How are the Wyatt family gonna eat? You just threw Dean Ambrose on the table….
You know what some idiot said on a wrestling group on FB? (Not naming them as it’s publicity for them – ) he said, he’s fed up of Ambrose in these type of matches… he wants to see Ambrose in a wrestling match…. f**k!n idiot! Now I’m starting to think you fans is gay…. always want ‘wrestling matches’…. I’m only interested in wrestling my woman on the mattress!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
Ambrose just lost to Wyatt… but that don’t mean sh!t!!!! Him nah dun!!! Climbs top ropes, elbow drop into Wyatt on the table – BLAOW!!!!
THE GRANT SAYS: Considering I watched this on WWE.Com, it wasn’t really that bad as far as a Christmas show goes… it could have been mad cornier than that… but f**k that – next week, we got Edge & Christian in the house! Y’all best get your HiPhones and Samsung Galaxys ready for that sh!t!!!
It’s Christmas!!!! Gimme some of that Good Ol’ Love!!!!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.