Tag Archives: CM Punk

Monday Night Raw #1292, February 26, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

‘Michael Grant is NOT a CM Punk fan, nor is he an Alexa Bliss fan, and he likes Roman Reigns.. so therefore Michael Grant, this so-called Infamous Informer, Grant P Body Rock or whatever he calls himself, doesn’t know SH!T about wrestling like we do. Why should we listen to him? Why should we read his blogs? Yeah he posts pictures of women and I just hit like. Apart from that, I don’t give a f**k about his blogs…he thinks he’s some big shot because he’s thinks he working with Wu-Tang Clan.. and got his radio shows that no one listens to… you know what – f**k Michael, f**k his blogs, and f**k Naomi… she’s not even all that…just because she got a big @$$… now Alexa Bliss… that’s what you call an @$$…’

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…and yet somehow I predicted everything about the Elimination Chamber correctly… including Ronda Rousey’s WrestleMania opponent – you fools said it would be Charlotte…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1292! It’s WrestleMania season! I got no time for grumpy muthaf***az!

As much as I can’t stand her, I can’t even say Alexa is talking sh!t – she is speaking the truth! She DID smash it at the Chamber!

Nia Jax is on Asuka like – ‘I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!!’

Mickie James must have quietly turned heel or something… there you are IWC – another notch under your belt – you like people to turn heel don’t you?

GRANT BODY-P!

HOLY SMOKES! In the 6 person tag contest, Sasha was going for the tag, but Bayley left the apron!!! UH-OH!!!!

BEST FRIENDS BECOME STRANGERS?

It’s obviously a personal thing because Bayley is still active in this contest…and helps Asuka win the match… it’s just a qualm against Sasha… oh dear Sasha you shouldn’t have kicked her down like that at the Chamber!

John Cena says he has figured it out!!!! he must have been doing some serious sleeping… or serious sleeping with Nikki to figure it out!

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a second – John!!! You wanna challenge who??? Think about this – you’re getting married aren’t you??? Don’t summon the dead – he’s gonna put you in a box!

SWITCH!!!! “That match is NOT HAPPENING!” Oh my god he came to his senses quick!

“That match is impossible…” I thought you were about making the impossible – POSSIBLE John? I mean, Nikki thought it was IMPOSSIBLE that she would get married to you!

He’s gonna go to Smackdowns!! It is the land of opportunity! Y’all know I’m 50/50 on this, but I’m just throwing it out there – John Cena Vs Undertaker was a Smackdown thing back in the day!

Why do the commentators act like what Bray’s doing (that upside down spider sh!t) they haven’t seen it before?

Remind me to research this ‘FINAL DELETION’ thing which made Broken Matt Hardy so famous!

Oh no! The Miz is going for longest running (accumulative days) Intercontinental Champion of all time! Somebody stop him!!!

“Those booing you will be watching it (Miz & Mizzus) anyway so I don’t care…” While The Miz may have a point about the haters I know one person who WILL NOT be watching it – ME!!!

Miz has no merchandise! I wonder why??! Because NO ONE WANTS TO BUY THAT SH!T!

“I should be going to the main event of WrestleMania…” Er Miz… in order to do that, you have to either:

A – win the Royal Rumble

B – win the Elimination Chamber

C – already be the World Wrestling Federation Champion

You are NONE OF THOSE THINGS! So with that said  –

SEAN PRICE - STFU

Don’t take off your dark glasses giving me that mean grill – YOU’RE A PU$$Y!

Oh dear! He’s really upset isn’t he! Somebody give this muthaf***a a kleenex!

he-gon-cry-in-the-car-o

HOLY SMOKES! The Miz was three-quarters away and Seth Rollins hit the frog splash off the top ropes!!! 1, 2 and…3!!!

Let me get this right so I can understand this – last week, Seth Rollins went over an hour and smashed it, but The Miz doesn’t wanna fight two guys one after the other in Rollins and Balor? If there was ever a B!TCH OF THE WEEK – it’s THE MIZ!

OH SNAP – THE BALOR CLUB COMING THROUGH!!! WROOOOOOOOOY!!!

KURT ANGLE SHUT EVERYTHING DOWN! The Miz cannot get out of it!!! He still gotta fight Finn Balor!

Finn Balor beat The Miz too! Yo Kurt – Triple Threat this muthaf***a!

The question remains – what becomes of Braun Strowman??? Let’s go find out!

Elias may have to think about a face turn later this year… could be sooner rather than later because the crowd are actually WALKING WITH ELIAS!

“Every word uttered from Corey Graves stupid face is noise pollution!” Elias can’t say that??!!! Corey Graves is GREAT! he can’t do a thing wrong, not after that stunt he and Booker-T pulled!

The crowd roar ‘BRAAAAAAUUUUUUUUNNN!!’ as well!! HOLY SMOKES! Y’all talk about WWE not making stars…. do you know how stupid you sound right now?

See this is what you wanted right? (I’m talking to STC’s Henry Lofts… who hated the idea of the gauntlet match in the group last week…) Elias Vs Braun!

Elias TEEEEEF! You got the fire extinguisher and use it against Braun because you can’t manage him! Gonna be interesting where this goes…

Elias tek foot and run! But he actually got away like Naomi got away from me!

“ELIAS! I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!!”

Meanwhile the limo pulls up…uh oh!!! You think it’s Vincent Kennedy?

2/3 FALLS jump off for The Bar Vs Titus Worldwide! I LIKE THIS! Shame WWE edited it down to just under 4 minutes on YouTube…

…and maybe I know why! Not even 10 seconds in and Titus loses the first fall… for goodness sakes!

Apollo Cre – Oh I’m not supposed to address him by that now am I? Er anyway he put up a better fight but The Bar got em… KMT!

The Bar are on it like – we have beaten everybody! Who are we gonna fight at WrestleMania? May I have a suggestion? The Revival? The Balor Club????

Big BIG WrestleMania 34

So this is Vincent Kennedy’s newest plan to get Double R over with you guys… by having Double R come out and talk the truth about Brock Lesnar hiding behind his contract… it seems to be working!

WHOA! Double R is going IN!!!! (Oh yeah I forgot – he hasn’t got good mic skills has he?)

GRANT BODY-P!

Holy smokes Double R is saying what the internet has been saying! I LIKE THIS! because it means the internet can’t say sh!t!

“I don’t respect Brock Lesnar, and I sure as hell don’t fear that b!tch!”

You made that obvious last time Roman! WrestleMania 31, you were laughing at his suplexes!!!

Ooooh Stephanie loves that doesn’t she? ‘WWE OWNS Ronda Rousey’! WWE loves that 1555 mentality (if you know what I’m talking about!)

WROOOOOOOOY LOOK AT RONDA ROUSEY! WALKING DOWN THE RAMP LIKE SHE’S IN THE YOU-EFF-CEE!

“You need to work within the system…” Such familiar words… last time I heard those words, a certain chairman was looking at the lights shaking like he had a fit after getting a STONE COLD STUNNER!

WHOA! I thought Kurt was all about his three I’s!!! I can;t believe he lied!!! Oh man… I;m so upset… damn!!!

Uh-oh! NO ONE SLAPS RONDA ROUSEY AND LIVES!!! (unless your name is Holly Holm that is but er anyway – ) Stephanie must apologise to Ronda! WHOA! No way is Steph gonna do that surely!

WHAT?! WHOA! I guess there is a first time for everything! maybe The Undertaker WILL wrestle again! Maybe CM Punk WILL come back! Stephanie just apologised! Do you think she will KOW-TOW too?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!! TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!! HE BOXED DOWN KURT ANGLE! NOW THAT WAS FUNNY!

BRAVO WWE! YOU ENTERTAINED ME THIS WEEK! 4/5 HBK WWE TITLE REIGNS (1997/1998)

STC 2018 logo3

SmackDown Live: #956, December 19, 2017!

Smack Talk Centre-Smackdown

#DEATH2DIRTSHEETS!

#FANSGOTTAGO

#WRESTLINGISSTORYLINE!

Steph Women's Royal Rumble

This is what I’m talking about!!! In fact most of us called this! But just like that, I am hype for the Royal Rumble! If you are still that fan who wants bra and panties matches… TOTAL DIVAS is THAT WAY!! Or better still – Babestation is on 364 days a year! (Not sure if they are on Christmas day…only STC’s Edd Mulhall knows the answer to that…

GRANT BODY-P!

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Smackdown LIVE #956! You know Stephanie won’t go to the A Show… her ego is bigger than her t!tt!£$!

Smackdown A show

Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn are still employed thanks to Danny Bryan! They will continue to run joke!

Enough of that sh!t – Danny Bryan talking about the women’s royal rumble! Oh man imagine the surprises! Trish Stratus has already hinted at returning to the ring for that night!

Uh-Oh! Shane McMahon is here! He’s still hi-fiving the crowd!

Truthfully I don’t want these two to clash! It’s a heartbreak!

Now back to the matter at hand! Shane says his emotions got the better of him in the match at Clash of Champions!

Crowd chanting ‘Thank You Daniel’! Because it would have been a shame to lose such talent as Owens & Zayn, even though they are TEEF!

Shane warns Danny not to f**k with Owens & Zayn too much! He could be rig- WHOA! Danny tells Shane to fire him? He doesn’t want Shane to turn into Mr McMahon!

This is some serious slow building here with the storylines! Yo Danny – I have seen Shane at his worst back in 1999… holy smokes – he was a bastard! I’ll never forget that sh!t!

The Bella Twins got over 1 MILLION subscribers! Ok wrestling fans – OWN UP! You act like you hate them but come on now! You can’t tell me that if they both wanted to suck your little tools you would say no!

GRANT BODY-P!

Uh-Oh!!!! Do The Usos have American Alpha 2.0 on lock???? They are now #1 contenders for the tag titles! But f**k all that – My sexy mistress is coming out! You know she got something to say about the Royal Rumble match!

“Well that package was pretty amazing…” Well The Grant Says – Charlotte – you haven’t seen MY PACKAGE!!!

OH MY GOD!!! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING! YO YO YO!!!

Charlotte just confirmed – winner of the women’s Royal Rumble goes to big BIG WrestleMania! And now my wife is here! This is my desired champion right here! But wait – I don’t want my wife and mistress to tear each other apart!

Naomi just called the Riot Squad CHICKENHEADS!!! And got the crowd chanting! THAT’S MY WIFE RIGHT THERE!! THAT’S NOT PG!

chickenhead

1. a female who likes cock 
2. a female who likes giving head, bobbing up and down like a chicken

Just like the commentators said – Naomi is going HAM on these chickenheads!

You know what – maximum respect goes out to Aiden English – he could have got lost in the shuffle and ultimately future endeavoured – but his opera gimmick has got over with the fans. That could have failed very easily!

WHOA!!! Danny Bryan just said he didn’t save the clart of Owens & Zayn! He did it for the greater good! He even said he would fire them himself if they don’t stop their sh!t!

So RAW is going live on Christmas Day for real! NO WAY!!! In Chicago too? You know the fans – all they want for Christmas is CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM PUNK! But nope – they get GRANT WWDJC2JOHN CENA! The Grant says – there will be NO INFAMOUS INFORMER BLOG NEXT WEEK! I’ll be tucking into that big piece of turkey! And some Mince Pies!

GRANT BODY-P!

“All Mariah Carey wants for Rusev Day is an Aiden English album…!” HAHAHAHAHA Corey Graves got lyrics!

Only The New Day and Rusev Day could take a goofy match and make it entertaining! Remember – if you take wrestling seriously – YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!

“The New Day ruined Rusev Day! The children will never forgive you!” When did Corey Graves become so funny? Jerry Lawler must have been teaching him!

That is a dream team for real! Strong Style, Snake Style, and AJ STYLES!!!

On the other team… THE ULTIMATE TEEF!!! Owens & Zayn, and Jinder Mahal… JINDER MAHAL!

Of course – the team with STYLE! But Zayn eating the pin is not gonna bode well with Jinder Mahal haters!

F**k the haters anyway – TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY! I mean, a women’s Royal Rumble though! I best get to work on that STC Gathering video…

JAMMS

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.

Monday Night Raw #1188, February 29, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Chris Rock Oscars

CHRIS ROCK – YOU ARE THE F**K!N MAN – OK!!!

This man showed the Oscars how to do it in 10 minutes! I wanna shout out to the 5% nation, I respect that you good people see things for what they are and not what they appear to be, I saw your comments regarding Chris Rock’s opening monologue… but can’t you just laugh and clap along for once??!!!!

As far as I’m concerned, Chris Rock is DA MAN. Kevin Hart cannot touch him I’m sorry, then I tyrn my attention to wrestling fans – Mick Foley is funny I give him that on stand up, but he cannot touch Chris Rock, nor can Dolph Ziggler, none of those wrestlers you watch when they do stand up. Yeah I said it – NONE OF THEM.

You guys marked out last week in my absence, now it’s MY TURN! THE UNDERTAKER IS BACK! I’m team Undertaker… f**k your little brand extension! Anything to get Cesaro over…

GRANT BODY-P!

Dom’t get it twisted – I like Cesaro… but even I gotta side with Vincent Kennedy here – he IS missing something! And that’s REAL!

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RAW #1188! I might have missed a big RAW last week, I sure ain’t missing this one!

WWF PROPA TINGZI wonder why Rusev is in such a good mood? If anyone can body slam him, they win his Maserati car… YO SIGN ME UP! It’s only Rusev! It’s not like it’s Andre The Giant now is it?

Here he comes… that dirty, that evil… TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!

Now they booing his @$$… they were cheering him last week! Ha! You wrestling fans are fools, you don’t keep it 100-1000 like me, Infamous Informer, GRANT BODY-P!

Nashville crowd chanting for Roman… WOW! No one challenges authority… but Deano knows NO AUTHORITY!!! After getting battered by Brock Lesnar, Triple ain’t nuthin right?

I’m loving this back and forth sh!t with Ambrose and Triple Teef! I’m just waiting for Ambrose to cheap shot Triple in his big nose! Ambrose wants to challenge Triple for the World Wrestling Federation Championship!

Well Triple is like – you fight Bertie first, then I’ll give you an answer.. see Deano could beat Bertie, and Triple could turn round and say f**k you! I’m the authority, I don’t have to defend my sh!t!

Yo Charlotte is looking fine more and more each day! I’m telling you her Divas Champion wages is been spent wisely on those facials! Grant & Leva

GRANT BODY -P!

Sasha Banks Vs Becky Lynch… winner points to the sign and fights Charlotte! LET’S DO THIS SH!T!

Great technical counter moves by both women here! Bet you’d never hear me say that now would you? As my moms would say, two bad bull meet up!

Look at Ric Flair! With a smile on his face watching the match! Anyone would think he’s watching one of those Brazzer films!

Look pon this now… Sasha hit the sunset flip, and they lying on the mat in a reverse 69 with both shoulders on the canvas… I don’t know why the crowd are chanting Triple Threat for, I could have told you this last week… well I be damned – I DID!

Since the Wyatts are not f**k!n with the Undertaker this year, I have no interest in what Wyatt has to say!

I can tell you one thing I don’t really like about the commentary… they keep talking about ‘WrestleMania Moment’… I mean, now they got fans like ‘where the Mania Moment at?’ ‘Nah man WrestleMania was sh!t, because there was no WrestleMania moments!’ the matches could be off the hook, but if there’s no moments, then the IWC complaining begins!

AAAAH SH!T! Stephanie is gonna bring her speech for her Vincent J. McMahon Legacy of Excellence award! It’s all about that ‘GONG’! If that tolls… Stephanie GET OUT OF THERE!!! He might have one of these prepared for you!

You don’t wanna be on one of those again… DO YOU STEPHANIE??

She does look ravishing though GOD DAMN!!! Yo Undertaker get the cross out here!!!

Well… Stephanie’s acceptance speech was heartfelt right? I was hoping for the gong… didn’t get it… so I think I’m gonna tweet my displeasure…. I’ll be back in a bit…

WHO THE F**K DO YOU THINK I AM??? My momma taught me better than that! I’m Not That Guy… I DON’T DO DRUGS!

Shout out to the fan in the crowd with the sign ‘LILLIAN DRIVES ME LOCO!’ You DAMN RIGHT! Let’s get a pic of Lillian and Natalya up here… FOR NO REASON!

Ok Kofi be like your brothers and take off the stupidness off your headtop! Ok New Day are pushing it here! They claim to be more legit than Edge & Christian! Snoop & Dre! Sonic & Tails! Even Grant Body-P & Ghostface Killah!

Now you guys gotta deal with Y2AJ… love to know where this storyline is going… I’m sure the IWC want Styles to be in the main evenyt straight away, because you know, the fans are such great businessmen!!!

GRANT BODY-P!!

That’s it Xavier! When in doubt… send for the trombone! it always works!

OH NO! Kofi just tapped out to the Walls of Jericho! I’m glad Jericho said ‘challenge for the tag titles next week on RAW’… hold up – IN CHICAGO???? Oh no not there… not ther place where they probably got a statue of CM Princess Peach B!tch emblazoned in city where they worship it like a wresssstlingggg…… GOOOOODDDDDDD!

AAAAAH SH!!!!!T! HERE WE GO!!! Huh??? Vincent Kennedy???!!! Well yes that’s cool as well!

Vincent Kennedy is 70 years old… if that gong sounds… I hope Vincent Kennedy got a nappy/diaper on!

He’s the instrument of destruction! But Vince! You don’t have an URN????

Told ya! As soon as the door shut – THAT’S IT! Shane goose cook! er Shane… you better learn that kung fu I saw you doing!

Oh sh!t… er Shane… you won’t be in Vince’s will if you don’t defeat Undertaker! Oh no! What happened to all those businesses you had Shane-O??? Vince is gonna shut down Shane as a biological son! He can’t do that!

In all honesty what an anti climax! I was hoping Undertaker was gonna chokeslam Vince to hell but… he basically said – CHEQUE PLEASE!

Oh boy… there’s gonna be a lot of jabronies complaining on the internet now! But me? I’m better than that. I’m gonna grab a pudding… chocolate cake and custard is the one!

Uh-Oh – Kevin Owens in the house… Mike Cole make sure you call the match and don’t talk about WWE Network, or WrestleMania moments… NONE OF THAT SH!T!

Has Lana took her WWE wages and brought some t!tt!£$??? Don’t make em any bigger than that now!

What do you think guys? Answers on a postcard – tweet me -@MZATheInfamous!

Meanwhile my wife who got away – Naomi needs to beat down that BellaDashian… sorry Brie but your Danny Bryan fighting style is no match for my Naomi!

Naomi with a new submission move and mash up Brie! It looks like CM P**k’s Anaconda Vise! If you muthaf***az start I shall sword swing and lyrically annihilate you! But what is Lana’s beef with Brie??? You don’t suppose we might see Lana fight at WrestleMania???

I think my Smack Talk Centre crew are right when they say – When Deano fights Bertie, the League of Nations will rush Deano, then Triple Teef will come and do the same to Ambrose what he did to Reigns…

Yo Facebook just told me that Meagan Good is live now (at time of this blog)… shall I forget this wrestling sh!t and watch Meagan???

Looks like something is going down at the church where she’s at… but why on a Monday night? Makes no sense… is she gonna get baptised? Or is she baptised already? Answers on a postcard please – TWEET ME!

Bertie is killing Ambrose!!! And that evil motorhead music hasn’t hit yet!

NOW THE EVIL MOTORHEAD MUSIC HAS HIT! And that Triple Teef is loosing his tie!

“You will never beat The Authority Dean”! Next minute Deano boxed Triple in his mouth! throwing lefts and rights! But Triple responds – pedigree – BLAOW! Triple is like – Ok Deano – next week me and you! Deano is like – ‘Thanks Hunter!’ Triple is like – HELL TO THE NAW!! Throws Deano across the announce table and hits the ground and pound on Deano!!!

If you ask me Deano got lucky compared to Roman Reigns! This can work both ways – Brock could interfere and batter Deano, or/and Roman could interfere and attack Triple! Either way… aaaah sh!t – this Road to WrestleMania is looking good! Maybe Undertaker didn’t have to say much in retrospect… Bad man move in silence!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

NEW STC LOGO 2015

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Monday Night Raw #1167, October 5, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

It’s that time of the month people! and I don’t mean wrestling fans on their period!

GRANT BODY – P!

Not only have we gotta save the tables, but we gotta save the t!tt!£$ as well! Those things are good to us! And we are gonna celebrate t!TT!£$ this week on this week’s blog, because breast cancer is a serious thing. So if you’re a feminist, or a 40-year-old virgin who cums at the sight of nipples, or a battyman in love with CM Princess Peach B!tch, THIS BLOG IS NOT FOR YOU!!!

RAW #1167! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZMike Cole says we are in for a hell of a show… I hope he means no ‘repeat’ matches! Big Show seems to be alright as well, after the beating he took at MSG by BRRROOCCCK LESSSNARR who has kicked off RAW!

Oh no not the WrestleMania XXX nightmare…. I can’t relive that again and again! That’s like Bruce Lee when he had to fight that demon in his life!

Then the Summerslam ‘screwjob’… I mean, I’m Undertaker through and through and I will support him 100%… Heyman says it’s not a prediction, it’s a spoiler, One will walk out of the cell the victor, and the other will not walk out at all.. Oh well Brock… you are a beast… but Undertaker becomes a DEMON in that cell!

Oh what is the Big Slow doing out here? WORD? He’s gonna put his hand out and say Brock is the DON?!!!

What an idiot… Big Show – you are a Big Fool! Another suplex and an F-5 – BLAOW!!!! Now go to your room!

OFFICIAL – Roman Reigns fights Bray Wyatt in the Cell! YES! Finally WWE have got it right. two extremely personal rivalries that has gone too far that they have to send for the cell. That’s how it should be!

LADIES! Roman Reigns is in the ring! 6 man tag team action! Come on girls rub on your t!TT!£$!

467e0753-349a-4b1a-bddb-394b222c5d35That’s what’s up – Be Proud of your t!TT!£$!!! Roman Reigns is sure to win!

YES!!! Because you women rubbed yout t!TT!£$… nipples hard and all… The combined might of Reigns, Ambrose and Orton mash-up the Wyatt bwoy dem!

Don’t tell me Neville is gonna fight Stardust… oh thank goodness it’s Sheamus!

Sheamus talking too much sh!t, bad man move in silence… Neville starts kicking Sheamus all over the ring…and… the match dun already? You know what that was? that was Neville, Sheamus and Barrett (who was at commentary) basically saying ‘Yes sir’ to Mr McMahon’s register just to say they were present…

Oh no!!! It’s my hero! Bi-Polar Kane!!! Look at him! his leg is ‘mash up’!!! Seth is fed up of the mind games!!! The joke is that Seth shows so much hatred against Corporate Kane… and Kane acting like he’s the good Samaritan!

Ooh Stephanie is out here – if anyone supports breast cancer more than anybody, even me, it’s Stephanie! But check it – if the Demon Kane does not defeat Seth Rollins for the title at the PPV, then Corporate Kane is out of a job…. hmmmm…. logic says I support Seth Rollins here! As I was saying… let’s honor Stephanie’s t!TT!£$… even though they are a bit on the false side…

Stephanie tittiesNatalya back on di telly! Her opponent… the UNGRATEFUL BRAT – Paige! Hopefully she will lose again… come on Natalya, show Paige how to do it! You come from the Hart Dungeon – you cannot let this little b!tch win!

Look at Natalya throwing those bows! Come on girl! mash her up!!!

It’s NEVER your house b!tch! Do you pay the rent – NO – Shut the f**k up!

GRANT BODY – P!

THAT’S IT NATALYA! Twist the b!tch up in that submission Razor Ramon used to do!

I swear down I hate when Paige even speaks now… so unattractive… I don’t get it guys – how is this woman so appealing? seriously guys, you got 30 seconds to convince me…WWE2K16 GRANT BODY -P!

Natalya applies the sharpshooter! But Paige made it to the ropes… SH!T!

Natalya got her again!! YES!!! THE B!TCH TAPPED OUT! GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE PAIGE!

The rest of Raw could be wack… Naomi may not appear… I don’t care – NATALYA BEAT PAIGE! Justice is finally restored!

Ever wondered why I didn’t write about the Lucha/Ryback/Kevin Owens match/segment? Because it wasn’t worth talking about…

Damn who p!$$£d Stephanie off? Maybe she found the pic of her ‘t!TT!£$’ exposed on the internet… IT WASN’T ME! I put up a nice picture of her! Even The New Day are confused… they thought she liked em! Maybe she does! I dunno…she mentioned nothing about tables so I suppose she supports the cause… #SaveTheTables

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/save-the-tables

URRRRGHHHH This is tiresome… can’t this be on a segment after RAW live? I mean, It’s all good for Cena to be the spokesperson of this breast cancer sh!t and bigging up the breast cancer survivors… I have an idea, while Cena is doing that, let’s throw up another good ol’ t!TTy picture…

Torrie-Wilson-bikiniAAAH SH!T – they got Roman Reigns being a spokesperson too? THERE YOU GO GUYS! You can hate him now… but he won’t stop now!

For real – we just gonna have this match now? Corporate Kane & Seth Rollins vs The Dudley Boys?

HOLD UP – Someone is tuning into RAW this week…

If you’re going to give money to a company that claims to raise money for finding a cure for cancer, please do someresearch.Komen is a scam

I tend to believe him… but it’s like yo… why is he so concerned?

Anyway back to this – Uh-oh  – the Dudleys sent for the tables…. what must The New Day be thinking???

IT’S KAAAANE!!!! AAAAH SH!T! But the Dudleys stand their ground! They remember what Kane did to them at SmackDown… 3D!!! – BLAOW!!! Kane laid out! So before Seth took foot and run… the fool taunts Kane doesn’t he? Now I’ve watched this wrestling sh!t a long time, and I know that if Kane or Undertaker are laid out on the canvas… you NEVER stand over them… they WILL crab you by your neck from a floored position, then CHOKESLAM – BLAOW!! right through the table!

The New Day must be crying in the car at this time… guys – you may not have saved that table.. but you can save the t!TT!£$… I know you wanna save Team BAD’s t!TT!£$… SO DO I!!! You guys save Tamina and Sasha… but Naomi – she’s ALL MINE!

TEAM BAD 2These three… you don’t want to know what’s going through the mind of the Infamous Informer… GRANT BODY – P!

Imagine if Team BAD defeats the Bellas as well… I’d love to hail RAW as the best ever! But obviously I cannot do that…

WHOA!!!! Now when Brie drops the Danny Bryan kicks, the Boston crowd chant NO! NO! NO!

YES!!!! TEAM BAD show the Bellas how to do it! I can now go to bed happy… but there is still half an hour at best of this sh!t…

A wha de raaaaar??? Summer Rae with a tribute to the Super Athlete Rusev??? Where is this going?

BACKSIDE??!!!! NO! Summer going on her crusty knees? What is she gonna ask him – will you let me suck your c-

GRANT BODY-P!!!!

I guessed wrong! But marriage??? She calls him Ru-Ru! She says he can walk out of WrestleMania 32 as the World Wrestling Federation Champion???? WHOA!!!!

HE SAID YES!!!! BACKSIDE!!! Mr & Mrs Bulgarian Brute???

But not yet???? He says he gotta be the champion FIRST! Good thinking there Rusev! Sounds a reasonable deal to me… because if he wins, he can pay for the wedding! Rusev has his head screwed on!

To take your mind off that storyline… lets celebrate some more t!TT!£$… Lana where you at girl?

The crowd is like “John Cena SUUUUUUCKS!” Oh dear!

Who’s the opponent this week? They making a big deal of it this week, like there’s a surprise lurking…

Dolph Ziggler? Yes the match will be good but quite frankly, I’m not interested…

OH SNAP!!! THE NEW DAY GOT HIM!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

BIG E is gonna take him!!!! COME ON BIG E!!!!!

BIG E is straight dominating this match!!! Byron Saxton is right – underneath all that comedy, all that ‘obnoxious’ behavior, BIG E was a former NXT Champion, Former Intercontinental Champion… so BIG E can do this!

Imagine that – New Day with Tag Team and the US Title? similar to The Shield? Anyhow they win… Team BAD are in trouble… you know The New Day love to mess around with Team BAD… I WOULD!

OH NO! The New Day got caught trying to teef! Damnit…. Cena won, but The New Day continuing the assault, that fool Ziggler comes out – BUT YO – Ziggler super kicks Cena accidentally! It’s becoming obvious from here, considering certain rumors… Ziggler gonna be that dude to defeat Cena… ain’t that a b!tch… Damn The New Day mashed up Cena, Ziggler and the Dudley Boys???!!!! Xavier mashed up the trombone effect! But it doesn’t matter! THEY KILLED IT!!!

Now guys, let’s go out and nurture and caress and appreciate those t!TT!£$! Let’s make Dean Ambrose proud!

GRANT BODY – P!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1106: August 4, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

Peace & Blessings Wrestling fans around the world! My Name is Michael Grant a.k.a. The Infamous Informer, a.k.a. The Man In The Purple Suit, a.k.a. the 1 behind the 1 in 17-1… when My Client, RRRRRRon Killings, Conquered the Bo Dallas streak last week on Raw!!!!

(BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!)

Boo me all you want but I each and every week I speak the truth to you deluded wrestling fools! CM P**k doesn’t wanna know, Dolph Ziggler is WACK and you stupid muthaf***as supported the excellent Guardians of the Galaxy after you run down Batista to the ground… how stupid and dumb do you look now??? You sneer and go to the toilet during diva matches like b!tches in a club doing their make up taking selfies and sh!t and now the most talked about match at Summerslam is Brie Bella Vs Stephanie McMahon…

WHO ARE THE IGNORANT FOOLS NOW???!!!

Now b!tch, get me my Real McCoy Man Crisps, my Aero mint chocolate, my Carte La’Dor Strawberry Ice Cream and my Jaffa Cakes, don’t forget my Pineapple & Grapefruit crush drink… sit down and SHUDDUP! RAW #1106! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZBig ups to STC member James Patrick Park Jr. Live in effect at Raw this week but they took the Smack Talk Centre sign away from him???? WHAT SORT OF SH!T IS THAT??? The Smack Talk Centre must be too gangsta for the WWE!!! You f**k!n with the wrong n!**@ now WWE!

EVERY MEMBER OF THE STC PLEASE RISE, PUT YOUR HAND ON YOUR HEART AND SAY IT LOUD: WE THE STC!!!!

I wished I counted how many times this year Raw starts with the Authority coming out here… don’t get me wrong though… I love to see Stephanie’s sexy @$$… but it’s like 2000 when Triple used to come out talking sh!t like – ‘I AM THE GAME-ERRRRR…. I AM THE WWF CHAMPION-ERRRRR… And I AM THAT GOOD-ERRRRR!!!!’

What is this – a promo ramming the WWE Network down my neck back??? This a shot at the IWC – all 128,000 of em who withheld their sh!t after 6 months…

It’s also promoting the WWE Network going global after they clinched the deal with the Canadian Cable Company….

STEPHANIE… YOUR COWBOY BOOTS!!!! COME HERE GIRL RIDE THAT PONY!!!

And guys, you can catch Stephanie McMahon riding on Grantington Steele on the WWE Network for $9.99 (£6.71) a month!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

But according to Triple TEEF, you get to read on here about My hero Kane Vs Roman Reigns in a Last Man Standing Match for free!!!!!

If a steel chair is wedged between the turnbuckles, and Roman Reigns drives Kane headfirst into it… does that count as a chair shot to the head? ??? Hit me up on the TWITTAAAAR!!! @MZATheInfamous!!!

HERE WE GO!!! Roman Reigns has sent for the tables!!!! I hope Kane sets that sh!t pon FYYYYRRRRRRE!!!!

OH SNAP!!! Roman Reigns went for the Superman Punch, Kane with the sidestep – grabs him, Chokeslam through the table – BLAOW!!!!

Luckily for Reigns his SWAT gear cushioned some of that blow. Reigns able to recover, got the superman punch, ducks underneath Kane’s clothesline, comes off the ropes – SPEAR – BLAOW!!!! Kane tryna pull up with the ropes but it’s too late – 10 count!!!

Oh Kane….. I knew you should have set that muthaf***a on fire! Reigns would have lost for sure! Triple said he wanted to see the demon…. the demon got slayed yo!

Well if you wanna see tables set pon fyre you can see it pon de WWE Network, for $9.99 (£6.71)!!!

WHAT AN EPIC MMA/UFC STYLE PROMO PACKAGE BY BROCK LESNAR & JOHN CENA!!! But Brock said something that made me think – Yo WWE, you better rate this thing TV-14!!!! “I’m gonna leave John Cena in his own blood, urine & vomit…” Oh my god – OH… MY… GOD!!!!! (JR VOICE)

And if you wanna see the biggest fight of the summer then send for the WWE Network at only $9.99 (£6.71)!!!

Wait a minute…Sandow can’t come out to JR’s music????? After WWE treat him bad like that???? DISRESPECT!!!! Sandow you’re my dude but you gonna get buss arse for this surely!

OH SNAP!!!! HE WILL GET BUSS ARSE!!! MARK HENRY IN THE HIZ-HOOOUUUUUSEE! Bruk him up Henry…. THAT’S WHAT YOU DO!!

Oh no next week on Raw is gonna be MAAAAAAD! Hulk Hogan’s Born Day plus surprise guests???? Ok let’s get to guessing… Rowdy Roddy Piper gotta be there… Sandow will be there probably dressed up as Mr America and sh!t… how about The Rock & Stone Cold Steve Austin??? Nah that’s asking too much! But is $9.99 (£6.71) for the WWE Network asking too much?????

I like the banter and jokes surrounding the WWE Network between JAY-BEE and Lawler… it’s almost classic heel commentary! If those internet muthaf***az complain about this…. it makes me wanna rage like Ken in Fist of the North Star and throw fists at y’all muthaf***az!

 

What sort of move was that by Bertie???? That was like a reverse suplex off the top ropes!!!! And Ambrose survives??? DAYUUUM!!!

Bwoy Bertie was a tough opponent for Ambrose! 15mins42secs is the time to beat for Seth Rollins… Winner of beat the clock chooses the stipulation…. if I was Ambrose, If Seth fails to beat the clock I’d choose an ‘I’ll F**K YOU UP’ match and take the briefcase!

OK LADS HOLD YOUR NUTS AND KEEP YOUR PALMS ON EM! Miss Tight Up Skirt herself – Lana is in the hiz-houuuuussse! And if you want her to grip your nuts all you gotta do is send for the WWE Network for $9.99 (£6.71)!!!!

LAYDEEZ!!! If you’re bi-sexual and want Lana to give you that good scissor lovin, send for the WWE Network for only $9.99 (£6.71)!

Lana has a good singing voice don’t you think??? If you want her to sing happy birthday to you, you know what to do…..

WWE NETWORK, $9.99 (£6.71)!!!

Damnit I was hoping that Rusev would CRUSH that Zeb Colter….maybe I’ll see it at Summerslam…. on the WWE Net…. wait a minute, I won’t have to do that since I will be with the STC LIVE at the Hogshead!!!!

 

Trust DRY ENGLAND to be last with the WWE Network… 170 different countries get it from next week and we have to wait til October 1????? What sort of sh!t is that???? F**k that – I blame Cameron…. I bet he’s trying to add WWE Network tax on that sh!t! If anyone deserves the Fist of the North Star punches… or if there is anyone I hate more than the IWC… it’s that muthaf***a who calls himself the prime minister! Get me in the ring with that bastard – I’LL F**K HIM UP!

Ziggler just beat Cesaro???? The Grant Says – I think it was a mistake that Cesaro broke away from Heyman….ever since then he’s been losing and sh!t… and Anthony Cardenas – it’s not ‘jobbing’ if Cesaro loses once! It’s just a loss! No wonder Ric Flair hates us using wrestling terminology!

Look at the creativity behind Cody Rhodes new Stardust character!!!! It’s amazing!!!! Even his fighting style is different to that of Cody himself! It’s a damn shame that they not at Summerslams… there’s 8 matches signed and not one of em are for the tag team titles! Maybe a tag team turmoil is needed here??? Even if it’s for pre-show?

Oh no My hero Kane has taken back off his mask…. I hope it’s not back to the school trousers he wore….. Undertaker talk to your brother man!!!!

Do you think WWE2K15 will clock on to the crowd holding their phones with The Wyatt entrance?

Damn Jericho just cannot get a break!!!! Every week the lights go out and he gets buss arse by Bray Wyatt! I keep telling that muthaf***a to bring a chair with him every time he fights the Wyatt man dem… he never listens…. and oh yeah, get a stipulation going or something!!!

WTF IS THIS? Fandango’s new partner is MUTHAF***K!N HORNSWOGGLE??? F**KOUTTAHERE… I’m getting my Ice Cream… Incidentally French Vanilla (Summer Rae) and Caramel Sundae (Layla) are at ringside…. and I’d get all up in their guts! They want their pu$$y sucked… ICE CREAM!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh no! Bo Dallas lost again on Smackdown by DQ??? Dayuuum! R-Truth is on a role!!! Maybe R-Truth should face the Underta…… oh wait…..

Look at JAY-BEE with the piece of paper saying $9.99!!!! If I see fans in the crowd with $9.99 as signs I am gonna crack up!!!

Ok people, 15 minutes. 42 seconds or less for Seth Rollins to defeat Rob Van Dam…. something tells me Seth will fail to this…

OH SNAP!!!! Heath Slater replaces RVD in this beat the clock challenge??? The Authority is being TEEF here…. F**k that – it’s all about Stephanie Vs Brie now!

Wait a minute – Dean Ambrose at ringside…. uh-oh!!! What if Ambrose f**ks it up and Heath Slater wins?????!!! Now it’s got interesting!

Hold up – how did Ambrose manage to open the briefcase and rip up the contract???? He can’t do that!!!! He just poured popcorn and soda all over that muthaf***a! How is Rollins gonna cash in his cheque??? He CAN’T!!!! Well there goes my guess of the ladder match with the briefcase up for grabs down the sewer…. shout out to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles & Das Efx!

OH SNAP!!!!!!! Heath Slater win!!!!! BLODCLART!!!!!! Ambrose you gonna pay for that I will assure you!!

Oh hell naw!!! I have to wait til Smackdowns until Dean Ambrose names the stipulation??? Ok I’ll make an effort to watch that sh!t!!!GRANT BODY THRONE - P

Once again – Stephanie & Brie get the main event segment….. twice in a row??? THIS IS WHAT I CAME TO SEE!!! THE CONTRACT SIGNING! WWE Fans stand up! Wrestling nerds sit the f**k down!

Usually I hate the crowd for this but this time I respect them for this! Brie is gonna f**k up Stephanie for herself, Danny, Nikki, Big Show, The Rhodes Family, and CM PUNK!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YES!

What I saw next could be the funniest thing since GET IN THE CHAIR!

Stephanie signs the contract, slaps Nikki down! Before Brie could retaliate, Triple Teef pushes the table into the corner trapping Brie! LOOK AT THE SMILE ON HIS FACE!!! Stephanie with a Pedigree to Nikki – BLAOW!!!! OH SNAP!!!! Brie BEX!!! She slaps Triple!!!! But Stephanie grabs Brie, sets her up too! Pedigree into the canvas – BLAOW!!!!!

To those of you dyam arses who say Stephanie can’t wrestle, that she can’t fight, have you conveniently forgotten that Stephanie has been taking boxing lessons? That her husband is a 13 time Wrestling Champion who uses the hammer? So him teach her wrestling move???? Yeah you dumb wrestling internet keyboard warriors know it all don’t you? I actually remember Stephanie using the pedigree in the attitude era days… HA! I hope Danny has taught Brie how to use those pretty legs of hers to kick down Stephanie!

I AM KAZUYA GRANTSHIMA, THE MAN IN THE PURPLE SUIT, AND I GUT PUNCH INTERNET WRESTLING FANS LYRICALLY!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1103: July 14, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

Ok so Germany won the muthaf***!n World Cup…. THAT AIN’T SH!T compared to my triumph!!!! I met the Supreme Clientele Champion himself – Ghostface Killah! My idol of 20 years!!!

GRANTFACE KILLAHNow that I’ve been in the presence of greatness, YOU are reading greatness. I appreciate that. I got my ginger nuts, my dairy milk bubbly mint chocolate, my Sprite, I’ve had a nap after the epic London trip… LET’S DO THIS!!! RAW #1103, HOLD’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZWord on the street is that the icon himself Sting will appear on Raw to promote his addition on WWE2K15!!!! I have warned a certain STC member in the name of Stephen Cooper: If Sting DOES NOT APPEAR IN THE RAW ARENA…. the dreaded chair awaits!!!! Believe me – he don’t wanna go there!!!

So w’happen, they got Cena to advertise the WWE Network now? I think I’m used to Michael Cole advertising that sh!t!!! F**k that – The Infamous Informer and Shadfather advertise that sh!t better – It’s $9.99 a month which is £6.71 – which is around the national minimum wage so THE GRANT SAYS – if you working and you’re a wrestling fan… you better cop that sh!t before I clap you in your head!

You mean to tell me that while Dean Ambrose was getting buss arse by My hero Kane, Seth Rollins and Randall, John Cena and Roman Reigns were in the ring just watching that sh!t? I thought Ambrose was your ‘brother’ Roman??? Oh I get it… one of them was Kane…. but you’re both big strapping guys huh???? You both claim to be ‘Superman’ in your own right??? As Vincent Kennedy would say, ‘John Cena & Roman Reigns are nothing more than two, putrid… p-(censored)!!!!!’

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh HELL 2 DA NAW!!! It’s that how it goes down? Everytime Miz fights his grill is gonna be on the titantron??? While I remind myself it’s not the attitude era no more, now would be a good time to ask Austin & Big Show to destroy the titantron!!!

I’d rather see Vladimir Putin’s dry @$$ grill up on that muthaf***a!

Word is that Wade Barrett will be at Battleground to present the Intercontinental Championship to the winner…. while Shadfather backs the Great Khali, I back The Miz!!! I hope Wade Barrett says “Congratulations you won the Intercontinental Championship, but I’m afraid I got some BAD NEWS!” And clap down the winner with the belt! It would be great!!!!

Damn the way Stephanie is all over Triple… I’m not interested in this next Dolph Ziggler contest…. Triple just GET IN THAT PU$$Y! Or do I have to go GRANTINGTON STEELE on your wife while you watch and you jerk your hammer?

GRANT BODY – P!!!

HA! HA! Fandango as a solo dancer…. that’s right – because he’s a B!TCH!!!!! Since I hate both Ziggler and Fandango, lets watch this right here, when Summer Rae and my Baby Moda Layla saw sense and beat down the pansy!

YES! YES! YES! Now on Raw, Summer Rae & Layla just dissed Fandango! Now they dancing around Ziggler! THIS IS IT! They could cure Ziggler of his homosexual tendencies!!!!! I’m sorry, if I was Ziggler, I don’t care if it’s in front of 15,000 fans, I would be protruding in those wrestling trunks!!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

NO! Sandow dressed as some idiot in a McDonald’s???? EPIC FAIL! WWE YOU DROPPED THE BALL HERE! He could have dressed up as Sting to annoy the fans on some bullsh!t!

DAMIEN STINGDOW

There could still be hope for STC’s Stephen Cooper yet!!!!

OH SNAP – 2 out of 3 falls tag team contest between The Wyatt man dem and the Uso Brudda at Battleground? Did you see the Wyatt tag team super move? I don’t know what to call it – f**k it – I call it the Buzzard Death Drop – BLAOW!!!! I’m sorry Usos – you cannot compete with that move!

Lana what you doing hiding behind that podium thing? Let me see your sexy @$$ legs in that tight up skirt!!! Anyway I’m backing your argument girl in this American/Russian détente thing going on here!Official_WWE_Battleground_poster_featuring_Bray_Wyatt

GOD DAMN – Lana makes that Russian accent sound sexy – imagine f**k!n her and she has to scream and holla in that language???!!! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!

See that’s why Rusev gonna beat Swagger at Battleground – even the crowd boo their own president…. RACIAL MAN RACIAL!!!!!

But I gotta say – I can’t wait for this match!!!! Backing Rusev all the way! RUSEV! CRUSH! USE THE ACCOLADE AND KILL!!!!

OH MY GOD! WWE NETWORK DOING A PHILIP BROOKS SPECIAL! All the Philip Brooks fans are gonna rush to the chemists and get that essential cream to put on their genitalia!!! Chemists across the world are gonna make a huge turnover!!! Socks will be hard to find in Primark! Normal folk (that’s me and you) invest in an umbrella! There’s gonna be CM Spunk everywhere!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

…and the suffering of Nikki Bella continues! Listen to Stephanie wuk brain on Nikki, saying that Brie was selfish for leaving her hanging like that! Well Steph has a point, I mean, The Bella Twins are a package after all, fans like to see the twins… but let’s be real, ever since they got involved with Danny Bryan & John Cena the appeal has gone… I don’t know about you… I don’t fancy the twins anymore… like Beyoncé and Kim Kardashian, when they got involved with Jay-Z and Kanye, the sex appeal was lost. Don’t get mad, I’m only being real!

You know – the team of Cameron and Alicia Fox could work here… do you think Naomi will come out to help out??? You never know!

Say what? Cameron Vs Naomi at Battleground???? WHOA! This PPV is gonna be great!!!

Even though I knew about this…. I JUST MARKED THE F**K OUT WATCHING THE TRAILER!!! TWO GENERATIONS OF STING ON WWE2K15!!! THE GRANT SAYS – I’m pre-ordering that sh!t!!!!! If WWE do the entrance like what they just did there…. HOLY F**K!!!!

Hmmm interesting…What’s wrong Randall? Afraid that my hero Kane won’t stick to the plan and make you the champion??? If that’s the plan we don’t need a plan B???? Triple looked at Randall as if to say – there is ALWAYS A PLAN B…

Talking of Plan B…. what’s this I hear? Paul Heyman quit? Or he was fired? All apart of the plan people! I was looking forward to him telling me that his client – Plan B himself – conquered the Undertaker’s Streak at WrestleMania!

YES!!! With the combined force of Big E & Kofi, Big E defeated Cesaro! Suddenly Heyman disappears and Cesaro loses????!!!!! Ok now guys, call up Mark Henry and Titus…..

Are people chanting ‘BORING’ to Bray Wyatt’s promo? do me a favour wrestling fools – purchase the muthaf***!n network for $9.99 a month – you have to purchase the cream separately – watch your f**k!n Philip Brooks documentary and F**K OFF!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

LAWD HAVE MERCY – EVA MARIE DEP PON DE TELLY! Let’s see what she has learned….

Whoa Eva has improved a little bit! She has learned a few holds and submissions! And a back-breaker too! WOW! Only that her moves don’t look like they hurt…

I’d still f**k the sh!t out of her though! Grantington Steele that pu$$y – BANG BANG BANG!!!

Big ups to WWE – they got the Sting merchandise up for sale and everything! Come on guys! Get to contributing towards Sting’s retirement fund!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

All I have to do is BO-LIEVE!!! Bo-Lieve that while he’s fighting The Great Khali, I’m getting some ice cream!!!

Hey I just had a thought…. Do you think Bo Dallas could win the Battle Royal?????

He just defeated The Great Khali via count-out! Maybe he may lose the Streak to don of dons himself???? Just a thought…

Oh no! Paul Heyman is here!!!! Here we go! He’s talking about Plan C! And he didn’t mention the Undertaker’s streak!!! Uh Oh guys and gals! stay close to your loved ones!!! Tell them that you love them!

Why does this muthaf***a Flo-rida keep passing through Raw? He must be broke because nobody buying his wack records or downloading his sh!t from iTunes! And RePPiN4U sure as hell doesn’t endorse his sh!t!

ENOUGH OF THAT SH!T – RIC FLAIR IS HERE!!!! RIC FLAIR N!**@!

Wow Ric Flair looks good! Look at him looking at Renée like he wants to go buckwild and profile up in her @$$!

Oh no!! Ric Flair predicts John Cena gonna hold down the title at Battleground! Roman Reigns don’t like that sh!t! I tell you this: If Renée asked me that same question – who I think gonna win… I would say…. ME!!! Let’s me and you go in the back, play some Ghostface Killah, and make the Wizard of Poetry do the talking!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Uh-oh!!! at time of writing this, there is about 20 minutes left until I begin construction of the chair custom-built for Stephen Cooper!

It could be excellent strategy here, that Kane, Randall and Seth Rollins took out Ambrose earlier… let’s do the knowledge here, Ambrose says that anytime Seth tries to cash the cheque, he would come and f**k it up. So by doing that, they take on Roman and Cena, they brukk them up enough and then Seth can cash his cheque right there without worrying about Ambrose!

Nice to see Seth Rollins using the three amigo suplex right there! Ok who’s gonna use the triple German suplex?!!! Yes wrestling fools, WWE may erase Chris Benoit out of their history minus the network but his moves live on live long through various superstars!

Well Well Well! All guys in that match minus Seth Rollins be dropping their super moves on each other setting up the Fatal 4 Way jump off…. AND THE SHOW HAS ENDED!!!! You know what that means! Out comes the tool box! all the nails, all the wood, all the sharp edges… Let’s begin CONSTRUCTION!!! OHHHH STEPHEN???!!!!!!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(back story – he was on STC FB page today ranting and raving about Sting’s appearance on WWE Raw this week, he knew it was to promote the game, but he really thought he was gonna appear, and tried to convince us… I warned him only ONCE, that if Sting DOES NOT APPEAR… he would be given the GET IN THE CHAIR!!! AWARD…. his brother Ian Cooper is gonna love this, especially when WWE Network are doing a special on his idol???!!!!)

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1097: June 2, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

data:text/mce-internal,

I figured out why wrestling idiots said Payback was rubbish… because you didn’t turn up. Hopefully Philip Brooks, they will finally leave you alone.

Where are your CM Punk memes now Ian Cooper?! How do you like your hero now Ash Blick? Even Nicola Box is ashamed, and removed the ‘CM Punk’ from her name…

When will you fools learn that you cannot test the lyrical manifestations of the Infamous Informer???!!! RAW #1097, HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZFace it Evolution! You Evolved back in 2005. IT’S OVER FOR YOU! The Shield are far too strong! I think all three should be the World Wrestling Federation Champion straight away! If Danny can’t fight, give the belt to the Shield!!! BELIEVE IN THOSE OFFICIAL BAD MANS! TWICE IN A ROW MUTHAF***A!

Oh my god look at Triple’s eye!!!! BLODCLART!!!

What??? I thought you said the rivalry dun at Payback Triple? Oh for f**k sake fans CM Punk is DUN! Don’t chant his name – he loves hockey now.

OH SNAP!!!! First Brie Bella, now Batista just quit the WWE as well??? He can’t do that!!!(Oh I think you’ll find he can Grant… he gotta promote his Guardians of the Galaxy film!!!) Evolution D-U-N – DUN!!!!!

Question – why the f**k is Cesaro walking like that??? Him look like he’s constipated and sh!t!!!!

Question #2 – why aren’t the fans now chanting Batista??? He quit in Triple’s face…. chant his name then! Where’s all your memes? I bet you will all be queuing up at the cinema to see his film…. YOU DUMB RARSE!

So in this team of RVD & Sheamus Vs Cesaro and Barrett, RVD gets the pin on Barrett… does that mean RVD gets another shot at the I.C. title??? I have to ask these things because the wrestling fans need to know these things!!!!

Question #3 – why aren’t you chanting Brie Bella??? Or should I say Brianna Danielson? She quit in Stephanie’s face, and Yes! Yes! Yes! her way out of the building! Don’t you want her to come back???

Look what they have done to Damien Sandow…this is a heartbreak… please creative let this lead to somewhere… what happened to his robe, and telling muthaf***az SILENCE! And his cart-wheel?

WELL IT’S THE BIG SHOW!!! Well I’m glad he’s in this segment and not tryna stop Rusev because I fear that’s where that storyline is going…

PPPPPPPPP!!! Thank you Big Show! He just punched Sandow through school-buses like Froch did to Groves!

All you gotta do is BOLIEVE! He goes up against Kofi Kingston. Question #4: Where’s my hero Kane to interrupt the proceedings????

Oh dear! the crowd chanting BOring!!!!! They can’t do that!!!!! (Er yes they can Grant, They paid their money!)

OH NO! Stephanie is going to the ring to make an announcement about the WWE GRANT - BODY - PWorld Heavyweight Championship??? Yo Danny! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!! DON’T LOOK BACK!!!

Oh no Batista this is what you may want to hear! And you quit?

Is that how it goes down in the streets? If Danny can fight by the end of this month, he has to fight Kane in a stretcher match? No Steph! Make it an ambulance match! If not then the Money in the Bank match will have both titles hung in the air??? What’s Cena doing out here? You not the face of the company any more muthaf***a!!!

So he drops real talk on Stephanie’s fine @$$ and on top talks about her t!tt!£$… she sets my hero Kane on him!!! Embrace the hate John!!!! Hopefully Kane will start going after Nikki Bella! DO IT KANE!! GET DEM T!TT!£$!!!

Well thank you very much Los Matodores and that bullsh!t 3MB… I went to make my pudding because you jabronies were on and look what you make me do, trip up on the wire and accidentally lock off the laptop… not only that, I missed my girl Alicia Fox… I don’t know what the f**k she did so I’m gonna play this footage right here… apparently she was cussing bad words in Germany…. can she do that??? That is Question 6!

You think I’m interested in that Adam Rose/Wack Swagger match??? F**k that I’m watching this video!

Fans – STOP CHANTING THAT MUTHAF**!NG CM PUNK! HE DOESN’T GIVE A FLYING F**K ABOUT YOU! Brie Bella and Batista does! CHANT THEIR NAMES! I swear this CM Punk thing is getting me angry star! IT’S F**KING OVER! STOP BEING SO F**K!NG RETARDED! WHEN WILL YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR JEREMY KYLE THICK SKULLS??? That’s Question 7!!!

Oh dear…. The Wyatt man dem are here… but there is an empty rocking chair… oh dear! Cena what you done to Bray??? YOU KILLED HIM??!!! That’s Question 8!

Talking of chairs, what do you think of this special chair that I’m making for Ian Cooper? STC’s #1 CM Punk fan who got fooled the most? That’s Question 9!

SAW Get In The Chair

PUSH HARD THOUGH IAN!!!!

Oh man these Wyatt mans do not ramp! They seek vengeance… and defeated the USOs… can you imagine Harper & Rowan as tag team champions? It would be all over for the tag team division!

Bertie Vs Ziggler in a Money In The Bank qualifying match? BACKING BERTIE HERE! COME ON BERTIE!

That’s it crowd, chant for Ziggler… he is there fighting… he cares about you… I don’t care about him personally, but he CARES!

YES!!!! That’s a tap out!!! Ziggler nah go nowhere!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! BERTIE ADVANCES!!!! YES!

Ok… can Rybaxel win again??? two nights in a row? It could be huge!!!!

WHOA!!!!! Rybaxel win again???? Backfoot! The end is near!!!!

Rusev is about to be honored by the Russian Federation Ceremony? For what – beating on our brothers??? I wanna hear wither ‘Kick In the Door Wave in the 4-4 or ‘Somebody gonna get their @$$ kicked?!’ But this means Lana gonna be there with her tight blouse & skirt… Lana is that girl – you gotta go Lexington Steele on her @$$! You just cannot help but think pornographic thoughts when you see Lana! Like I couldn’t bring her home to mom, nah-mean?!

HA! HA! You can’t tell the crowd to stop their USA chants Lana! They want to put their d!ck in your mouth! Even the women!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Cue the Russian Anthem! WROOOOY!!! Listen to how it sounds triumphant! Here’s Question 10 – Does Rusev know the words? Considering he’s actually Samoan?!

Word up – how many teams can say they brukk up every member of Evolution? NONE!!! The Shield are OFFICIAL BAD MANS!!!

You hear that Randall? Get out here so that Roman Reigns can brukk you up with the symbol of excellence!!!! So Triple comes out with the symbol of disgrace! HE HAS BROUGHT THE HAMMER!

Wait a minute – NO!!!! Seth Rollins!!!! But…But…But!!!! I thought you were brothers??? Why you took a Triple TEEF endorsed chair and destroy your brothers??? Why? Tell me WHY??? DAMN SON!!!

Let’s be real about one thing: We knew someone was gonna turn evil, STC’s Negrodamus predicted that it would be Roman Reigns… but Seth Rollins? I forgot, his name is Seth…. suddenly that music springs to mind… if you are a Street fighter fan, you know what I mean!

BEHOLD THE GLORY THAT IS THE TANDEM ENGINE!!! This should be Seth Rollins new music!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1096: May 26, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Stephanie McMahon won the women’s title back in 2000, she never defended that sh!t.

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Dean Ambrose won the US title and held it for 352 days… he never defended it in half that time.

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Your Wrestling God CM Punk, held the WWE title for 434 days, he was injured for about a few months in that time, and never had to give up his title.

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Now Danny Bryan, just won the title at WrestleMania, suffers a neck injury, had successful surgery, should be back in a couple of months at best, but suddenly Triple TEEF and Stephanie McTEEF want him to surrender his title???

THIS IS JUST NOT RIGHT!!!

Are we going into the Payback PPV without a Championship match??? RAW #1095, HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF LogoNotice that when usually WWE does a Memorial Day tribute video or Tribute to the Troops package John Cena usually does the narrating? Why isn’t he doing it now??? I’m jussayin…

ENOUGH!!! LET’S GET INTO IT!!!

OH NO…. not the Authoritaaah! I guess there is no messing about! Danny Bryan! GIVE UP THE GOODS!!!

But before the main event, looks like they called out Brad Maddox…. I think dude is gonna be fired…. Yeah FIRE HIS B!TCH @$$!

Brad said he was forced by The Shield???? WRONG ANSWER!!!!! Look w’happen now… IT’S KANE!!!!

What is worse than being fired??? My Hero Kane grabbing that scrawny neck of Maddox… CHOKESLAM!!!! BLAOW!!! Pick him up, turn him upside down…. TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE!!!!! Oh SNAP!!! HE IS FIRED!!! Can he take this to the tribunal??? I don’t like his chances!

Hold up – Cesaro is gonna fight RVD? And Paul Heyman has mentioned nothing about his Client Brock Lesnar conquering the Undertaker’s Streak?

Oh snap! Bad News for RVD! He’s not gonna win the Intercontinental title, but good news for us! He’s at commentary!

Hol on – Bad News for Barrett! RVD just kicked him in his mouth!!! Oh dear RVD gonna pay for that surely!

There you go! Distraction by Barrett baited up the – enough of that sh!t – Sheamus just kicked Cesaro in his mouth!!!! DAYUM!!!!!

Payback WWERing the alarm!!! Eva Marie is about to fight!!!! Run to the toilet for your lives!!!

I can’t believe they made Summer Rae a ‘face’… I get it – it’s all that Total Divas business…

Don’t you think it should be the other way round? Eva Marie as the ‘face’ and Summer as the ‘heel since Summer seems to be disliked on Total Divas terms…

LOOK PON LAYLA’S DRESS! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! SAY IT AGAIN JAY-BEE! SHE DOES LOOK AMAZING!

Batista is my friend but big ups to Cody Rhodes who just called him a skinny jeans sell out and his bredrin – RK-BLOW! Oh boy gotta give props to the Rhodes bruddas but they gonna get brukk up by EVILOUTION!

Oh no not this 3.5MB and this Los Jobbodor nonsense…. this is the part where I go to the toilet, wash my hands, get a pack of cookies, top up my glass of Black Grape and check the meter and hit the emergency so that the electric doesn’t go out on me!

WTF??? Hornswoggle pulls off the tail of El Torito then in the back the doc puts it back on??? That ain’t PG mayyyyyn!!!

Why have I got this feeling that Bray Wyatt is gonna make that into a single – He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands??? I wonder – do they still sing that at primary school?

OH SNAP!!! Bray Wyatt just said that Cena is the enemy of us all! And the capacity crowd cheered!

I can’t believe the Wyatt man dem brukk up JAY-BEE! OH SNAP!

Damn they put Jerry Lawler on blast!!! All he did was big up Cena… he was gonna send for the Sister Abigail!!! Big ups to The USOs for coming to save Lawler’s clart! Not sure I agree with Cena saying Wyatt crossed the line… for Wyatt to cross the line he would have to rape Nikki Bella! YEAH I SAID IT! And get her pregnant too! THE FORBIDDEN SEED!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Holy crap – Zack Ryder gets TV Time! BLODCLART!!!! Susan Brunton step away from the….


Pic courtesy of STC member Lee Steadx
Maybe I need to step away from the cocoa butter!!! First Layla now Lana with her tight blouse and skirt!!! But Rusef…. KILL RYDER! KILL HIM!!!! LET’S GO!!!

No use chanting USA!!! Not even Hulk Hogan can save you now!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Hold up – Big E!!! He just gave Rusev some Black Fist beatings!!!! Reppin for USA and his people!!!! You know what that means! I gotta draw for the tune!

Oh man! I knew Cody flying around the ring would land him a RKO – BLAOW!!! And that Triple TEEF just changed the rules! Now it’s a no holds barred elimination match? they gonna f**k up Goldust! I call INJUSTICE!!! It is No Holds Barred!!! COME DOWN THE STAIRS GUYS!!!

RKO followed by a Batista Bomb through the canvas – BLAOW!!!! Sh!t… they didn’t come down the stairs… damn… I suppose it’s time to BO-lieve…

Ok let me see this Bo Dallas fighting style…. I heard negativity already from the IWC… they don’t give these cats a chance…

He’s not too bad!!! His super move is the BO-DOG, well it’s a more hefty version of Spike Dudley’s move, that’s it… hold up, where is that fool in the world today? Last time I saw him, he got his @$$ whupped by Stone Cold Steve Austin because AustinGrant & Leanna cussed down Molly Holly… you fat @$$ ungrateful b!tches…. why don’t you jump on that muthaf***!n treadmill, wipe the dust off that muthaf***a, and BOlieve that you can shed that weight instead of being keyboard warriors? Too fat to even climb into a wrestling ring, but are quick to cuss down these new cats? F**KOUTTAHERE!

HERE WE GO!!! Stephanie is here!!! Time for Danny Bryan to GIVE UP THE GOODS!


Well well well how about that then? Let’s be real – we knew Danny wouldn’t give up his title… after all he has valid reason not to and I agree 100%! Ever since he won at big BIG WrestleMania they tried to take the title from him anyway! He just said NO in Stephanie’s face to the point where Steph had to wipe the spit fire from her face!

Here’s the twist! Steph didn’t even slap Danny in the face! she thought that ain’t gonna hurt him, what will hurt him is that if he doesn’t give up the goods at Payback, then Brie Bella is fired!!!! Stephanie McTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!! Death of the Bella Twins!

More Divas! I love this!!!! Alicia Fox! Emma-lution! Backing Alicia here!!!! Get her Alicia! Brukk her up! Emma can’t dance!

OH SNAP!!!! Emma won???? Er… bad move Emma! You should have let her win!

Oh my days Alicia KILLS IT! Throwing beer all over herself, beating up cameramen, pulling out the biggest wedgie since your beloved attitude era – I’m sure DX did something similar! Ringing the bell crazy! Er Paige… if I was you… I’d just lay your @$$ down for the 3…. it’s not worth it man! I’m sure STC’s Ash Blick would love to jump off top ropes on your @$$!

I’m not gonna speak on Adam Rose and ‘Davy Crockett’… but the Payback kick off YouTube match – El Torito Vs Hornswoggle in a Mask Vs Hair match???? Well THE GRANT SAYS – Hornswoggle…. GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

For a minute I thought I had nothing to write on the Bertie Vs Sheamus match, I can say two things…one , Sheamus looks f**ked up like he suffered a concussion, and two, I was wondering how long it would be before Heyman would announce that his client Brock Lesnar conquered the Undertaker’s streak at WrestleMania!

HERE WE GO!!!! Contract signing between The Shield and Evolution and The Shield are in business already! dashing out the chairs! We don’t need that sh!t!

Triple TEEF is acting like he got the hammer and the shovel ready for Sunday!!!

WTF are the crowd chanting???? Answers on a postcard please!

Paperwork out the way… BRING THE F**K!N RUCKUS!!!

OH NO!!! Triple TEEF has drawn for the hammer!!!! And he lick dem all down!!!! TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!! Set up the announce table, hoisted up Roman Reigns, all those months of powerbombing muthaf***az through tables has come back to haunt him! Batista with the powerbomb – BLAOW!!!! HIM DEAD NOW!!!

This is how it goes down! payback, Sunday June 1, 2014, someone ain’t getting up after 10, a diva is gonna go crazy whether she wins or loses, one team will be completely annihilated and somebody’s job is on the line and could be ‘fired’…. Yes I put that in quotations because what if my hero Kane is back there? How do you like your Brie Bella??? Cooked well done or Extra crispy???

Plus? Will STC Admin Ian Cooper’s dream come true? Will his beloved saviour come back and save the WWE? Oh he better hope and pray because if he is an atheist he better get himself baptized ASAP! I have a feeling Philip is gonna let him down again! And then…. THE CHAIR AWAITS… GRIM REAPER CALLING – JUDGMENT DAY!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1081: February 10, 2014

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As this blog was written on the 11th anniversary of his passing, this blog goes out to the man call Curt Hennig a.k.a. Mr Perfect (Live On Live Long…)

Big ups to Mike Knoxxx and BDSIR Network Perfect Plex Radio – they put me on to a wrestling themed hip hop mixtape… they played some tune on their show and I was like YOOO!! I NEEDS THAT!!! And if you are a hip hop/wrestling head, YOU NEEDS THIS TOO!!! Fred Knuxx! RapMania!

http://www.datpiff.com/Fred-Knuxx-Rapmania-mixtape.319314.html

Yo WWE! ever thought of doing an Aggression II hip hop album??? Matter of fact don’t bother, if it’s anything like that wack sh!t you play on your PPVs, I gotta steel chair back here ready to clap in your head!

Y’all asked for CM Punk, you get Betty White from the Golden Girls! NOW SHUDDUP! Before Mark Henry inducts your punk @$$ (Pun intended) into the HALL OF PAIN and says – THAT’S WHAT I DO!!! RAW #1081, HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZYeah let’s get this sh!t started! Betty White in the hiz-house! IWC – SHUT THE F**K UP… Gotta say Betty White came at the right time, she knew what happened to Mae Young (God Bless Her Soul) back in the attitude era and the Dudleys! Betty says she’s gonna kick some @$$! UH OH I think she means that sh!t!!

Look at the Authoritaaah killing teet at Big Show! haha!!! Big Show looking at Triple like ‘I ain’t forgotten muthaf***a!’ And as for Stephanie… Valentines draws near… come here girl I got something for ya…

Good to see that this crowd ain’t chanting CM Fool’s name!!!! YEAH I SAID IT! I respect the guy, tired of hearing about him. GET OVER IT. He would have left in July anyway!

Randall don’t give me joke!!!! Kissing Stephanie’s @$$ – I don’t blame ya!!! Daniel Bryan just put you on BLAST!!! Him talk about – Randall planting one on Stephanie’s lips!!! But come on guys… wouldn’t you???

Randall & StephanieI warn you readers from now – I WILL GO PROFANE on this blog this week! (What else is new Grant???) haha good point!

OK 6-Man Tag Team jump off! Rey Mysterio! The Rhodes Brudda, the Wyatt Man Dem! LET’S GO!

You know what’s mad about the Wyatt man dem? The more you beat them down, the more they like it! It does remind me of Mankind back in the day, I remember my boy Undertaker used to buss up his clart… but Mankind was smiling and sh!t!!! That’s f**ked up!

The commentators better watch what they ask for? Nominating each other to be in the Shield Vs Wyatt match at the Elimination Chamber??? You know Triple TEEF is listening…

INFAMOUS TWITTER AMUSEMENT:
Vince McMahon ‏@VinceMcMahon 9h

I have a date with @BettyMWhite tonight on #RAWpic.twitter.com/vs6yf14NcX

THE GRANT SAYS: …..DUTTY BWOY!!!! You wait til I tell Linda!!!

Oh lawwd – Rey Mysterio was gonna go for the 619 and ran into Sister Abigail – BLAOW!!!! Unlucky kid!

YES ROMAN!!!! You refer to Renée Young as ‘Babygirl’?!! YOU DUN KNOW!!

So that’s how it goes down in the streets? Emma-lution is gonna ride with Santino on some comedy sh!t??? Ok this is the time I should make my pudding.. then agin if Santino is fighting Fandango… that can only mean one thing… SUMMER RAE!!! I’d f**k her with her Strictly Come Dance frock on! (shout out to Susanna Reid… I never realised how fine she was until she went on that show!)

Susanna ReidI would tear her pu$$y up for breakfast! PUN INTENDED!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Ok Sheamus & Christian! It’s all about this IRISH & CANADIAN FIST!!!! DESTROY THE FAKE @$$ AMERICANS!

Hmmmm interesting… Antonio Cesaro claims that he will be the next Undisputed champion and Swagger gave Cesaro a dirty look… yo I pointed that sh!t out first Michael Cole!

The crowd chanting We The People – unless you supporting Cesaro get out of my f**!ng face…

Loving this! Cesaro dropping them bows to Sheamus and the Great White is like – COME ON MUTHAF***A BRING IT!!!

OH SNAP! My stream froze as I type this! Serves my right for watching Raw illegally! What a good thing it wasn’t the Elimination Chamber!!!

…and now my stream comes back on, who do I see? Dolph muthaf***!n battybwoy. I hope my dude Bertie brukks up his arm!!! Right – to the kitchen! Make that pudding!

Grant & LeannaOk I’m back. now back to our regular scheduled programme… who’s the next Hall Of Famer??? We gonna find out – LET’S GO!

Oh snap!!! Did I miss Batista Powerbomb Bertie’s clart through the announce table???!!! F**k you Ziggler for making me miss that sh!t!!!

BACKSIDE!!! LITA IN THE HALL OF FAME!!!!! BIG UP!!! IT WAS WORTH IT! YOU MAKE EDGE PUT IT IN!!!! YOU TURNED AGAINST MATT HARDY AND IT WAS FOR THE GREATER GOOD!

LitaLita HOF

What I wanna know is – why would the New Age Outlaws wanna spike Betty White’s drink??? What are they tryna accomplish? Answers on a postcard please – @MZATheInfamous!!!

Hmmm… The Uso brudda vs Rybaxel… do you think they will let Rybaxel win on the anniversary of Mr Perfect’s return to the essence?

What’s wrong Billy Gunn? You don’t look too well!!!

OH SNAP!!!! Curtis Axel lost!!! But it was the way it happened! The Uso brudda flew over the top rope, tagged his bredrin in mid-air!!!! F**k!n awesome!

Oh dear! I think Billy Gunn’s stomach hurts!!!! If I was the WWE locker room, I wouldn’t go in the bathroom, for about 35-45 minutes! Somebody open the window!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WWE announced their theme tune for Elimination Chamber: Nero – Doomsday. F**k that – it’s good but THIS is the STC official theme tune for Elimination Chamber! Shout out to STC’s Bossman – Jamie Maverick Shields!

Well Ambrose wanted an open challenge for his US title.. look who stepped through!!! THE DON!!! MARK HENRY! AMBROSE YUH GOOSE COOK! and Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins stirring the dutchpot like they making Saturday soup!

Oh dear! Ambrose get himself disqualified! I mean Mark Henry was fighting them off with his bad arm but then Roman Reigns with the spear – BLAOW!!!

Next thing you know the Wyatt man dem appear! Looks like a stare down on the chessboard!!!! F**k that – this is the official tune for this particular match!

WTF is Wiz Khalifa doing at WWE with his funny looking self? Foolish individual!

Shout out to Bobo Brazil!!!! Now we know that he did teach Rocky Johnson how to put Boots 2 Asses!!!!

DAYUUUUUM 6 Diva tag team jump off! Cameron and the Bella Twins! AJ, Aksana and Alicia Fox!!! GO LADIES!!!

I wanna take this time to say happy birthday to a true cougar in wrestling – LISA MARIE VARON a.k.a. Victoria/Tara!!! SHE JUST DON’T KNOW!!! She needs some young meat! I bet she can suck good cocky!!! It’s only strong ruff neck ninjas that can handle her! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!

1244183049744_f

Victoria DOES NOT wanna meet me word up! She would feel the wrath of my anaconda literally!

OH SNAP!!! Cameron picks up the win over Aksana with her super move – Girl-Bye! You know what that is – revenge for what Aksana did to Naomi last week when she took out her eye! GWARN GIRL!

Don’t you think that russian chick reminds you of Drago’s missus in Rocky IV back in the day? She’d get it too!

Wait a minute – I thought my hero Kane wasn’t here???? OH SNAP! Daniel Bryan has snapped!!! Kicking my hero Kane all over the ring! Why have I got this feeling that this is how Daniel Bryan DOESN’T win the chamber? Yeah I said it… go on IWC get upset like you usually do, you see I don’t take this wrestling sh!t as serious as you do, I take it make joke. The minute you start getting serious about pro wrestling as a fan – YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.

…and I don’t know why you’re b!tching for – I’m sure Triple H and The Rock faced each other more times than Randall and Johnny!

INFAMOUS TWITTER AMUSEMENT:

John Cena ‏@JohnCena 10h

Ok self, body is beat to hell, everything feels like slow motion, big night tonight. Focus up, begin to move, find a way #nevergiveup

THE GRANT SAYS: I don’t know how you see it, but was that a dart thrown at your saviour CM Punk??? So many stories surrounding his ‘departure’… including Punk’s body ‘beat up’….

Haha Cena did you seriously think that Randall was gonna fall for your 5 moves of doom??? You faced each other so many times! STEP YO GAME UP! YOU ARE FIGHTING IN FRONT OF THE WRESTLEMANIA SIGN!

MEANWHILE IN CHICAGO…Punk Midas drink

Don’t think I didn’t see you IWC jabronies making a big deal about this and whose drink it was… THE GRANT SAYS, unless Mr Brooks is standing next to me and knocking that drink back and he got me to record that sh!t and put it on YouTube… then simply put you guys need to SHUT THE F**K UP!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Me garne ah mi bed, and gonna have dirty filthy dreams about Victoria… dreams of f**k!n a WWE b!tch, I’m playin.. I’m jussayin…!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Jobber Blogger #90 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 6/2/14

Jobber Blogger logo2Last week’s show from Glasgow got praise and negativity at the same time. This most likely because of a good crowd, a different look and I’m sure the debut of MVP played a part also. However looking back on it, nothing very exciting happened. Just your normal run of the mill matches and no great excitement on the Card front.

The same can be said for this week’s show, though the Ratings perked in the US in comparison to last week. Though this again will probably be spiked with the debut of MVP.

I can’t quite seem to find where I stand on all of these happenings. I believe CM Punk leaving the WWE is a work, it makes sense. If it’s not a work, then he comes across as a douche really, let’s be honest. Nor do I think his “Star Power” with the most deserving of quotation marks is really anything to go crazy over in the first place. Which of course leads to Sting. Things certainly look as if this time after many years, Sting is actually going to the WWE. Then there’s more information coming out from Jeff Jarrett and Toby Keith’s plan to buy TNA and instead just decided to make their own company… perhaps. I really don’t know what to believe anymore. And if these are a work… then they’re working.

I recently watched the AJ Styles – Shoot Interview “Leaving an Impact”. Though the trailers / previews certainly edited it in a way that seems rather more shocking, in actuality it’s very tame. AJ is nothing but supportive of TNA, and has the door open. Though you can make arguments for TNA offering him a lower contract, but they did eventually offer him what he asked for, and he rejected. But AJ said he wants to work the Indies again, and what other chance will he have to do so. I expect AJ will be back in TNA some point this year. I don’t buy this isn’t in some way planned.

But hey, that’s the beauty of Wrestling, and for years and years people knew what was going to happen, and for the best part, we still do. Thanks to the Dirt Sheets and certain predictability areas, but for these topics, we just don’t know. And that’s a good thing! Impact Wrestling LogoTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 6/2/14

I guess, part of me isn’t excited watching TNA anymore. I enjoy it, sure, but I’m not getting that feeling where you witness something that makes you excited! That makes you go on YouTube and find that certain Entrance theme for that certain Star and listen to it on Repeat and have the sudden urge to buy merchandise. Not had that since AJ had his Return Match at Slammiversary last year.

Abyss vs. Eric Young – Monsters Ball

I did state that nothing was quite as exciting, but I can’t tell you how refreshing it was to start Impact without Promo’s. Without Dixie. Instead it’s EY and Abyss attacking each other in the back and the Match picks up from there. A creative and needed change to the format. Despite the fact we all know that next week, it’s all about Dixie starting the show most likely.

I am still confused on this front, Abyss didn’t seem to turn up for a long time. Then he did twice randomly. Then only when Park saw his own blood for a small amount of time. Now he’s Abyss all the time for no reason and blood isn’t involved. I don’t get it. Do I need to get it?

To be honest, yes. If you’re going to put effort into developing something, least stick to it, or make it work. Tie up the loose ends, have it make sense. Give more development. The first Monsters Ball did nothing to get Park to realise he was Abyss.

It is awesome having Abyss on Impact though, he is one of those guys you associate with TNA, his look and character is phenomenal and sorely missed.

The match though was as you would expect, rather tame when compared to others, but with enough meaty high spots to make you enjoy it! Thumbtacks made their appearance, though EY flipped over the Monster from the Second Rope and Power-Bombed him to the Canvas. Abyss punched EY whilst he was perched on the top rope which sent him flying off Through a Table set up on the floor.

The ending came when Abyss removed Janice, a Cricket Bat variation, clearly not getting the original through Customs. EY then after numerous attempts Unmasked the Monster, which led him to violently Blackhole Slam EY and take the win.

Abyss then looked at himself in a small broken bit of a mirror. I actually like the ending, though not sure where it’s going to lead. Obviously I don’t want him to lose the mask, it makes his character. But will be interesting. EY did a post match Interview backstage and said his goal was to unmask him, but has no idea what happens next.

MVP made his way to the ring, which officially marks his true Debut with TNA. I do find it funny that people always moan about TNA bringing in stars from other companies, but yet everyone is behind MVP’s character as an investor, despite the fact he’s just yet another made star from a different promotion.

I knew of MVP, watched a fair number of his matches, but he was never someone I got behind. However, he did impress me on this show. His mic skills are very good, he has a great confidence and charismatic approach whilst confronting the audience and other stars. His confidence in turn sells the angle, so it’s all good.

The flimsy story is a little… flimsy? He had a lot of money saved up, saw what Dixie had done to TNA and therefore he invested his savings to get himself in TNA to change it. No one in his position would do that. Especially considering how outspoken he used to be about going to TNA. But alas, Dixie’s recent actions, must be met with Consequences, and MVP is all about bringing about that Change.

Part of me is now a little tired of seeing this “Power Struggle” as the main and only storyline to determine TNA in over four years. Hogan and Bischoff take over, Sting as the GM, Dixie out of control, Dixie back in Control, Hogan as GM, Aces and Eights threaten Power, Dixie goes crazy takes control, MVP is now in to change that. Can’t we just do something new. All it says to me is that they’ve tried something and it didn’t work, so they try something else by blaming the one in charge at the time. I think it is clever that they’ve placed all of the bad decisions on Dixie’s head and she’s carrying that weight as a Heel. So it would be great to see TNA rise up. But I doubt it’s going to do anything or amount to anything. I really hope it does. But how many times have we hoped now?

Spud made his way to the ring to tell MVP that Dixie would like a meeting with him, and MVP then made a match between Magnus and Kurt Angle.

Curry Man danced with Christopher Daniels styled ass to the Ring (it’s a legit thing)

danielsWhat did you think the Picture would be?

After he finished Dancing, Bully Ray wheeled the Coffin out, stood in the ring, booted Curry Man in the face, delivered an impressive but scary looking Pile-Driver and threw him in the Coffin then left.

So I don’t know if I was supposed to believe Curry Man is in a match, or if he was supposed to be fighting Bully Ray, but it looked as if Curry Man danced his way to the ring purposely to be placed in a Coffin.

Though I did realise that Bully Ray and Curry Man have similarly pronounced names. Bully Man or Curry Ray, could be a good Team idea.

In a string of “walk to the rings” Austin Aries was next up, who of course received a huge reaction (because he’s awesome and TNR’s / Jobber Blogger’s two time reigning Wrestler of the Year). Aries decided to take this time to talk about Option C and how he intends to do it once more this year!

That’s when the Bromans came out and Bro’d their way down the Ramp, and I was actually pleasantly surprised by the next part, as I couldn’t piece together why they had turned up.

Zema Ion attacked Aries from behind with his X-Division Briefcase, then hit Aries over the head with it, covered him, but only got a Two-Count.

Zema looked good though, and then went on to miss his impressive looking Corkscrew from the Top Rope and Aries then dropped him with a Knee Breaker, threw him backwards over his head, Corner Drop Kicked the hell out of him and then finished him off with the Brain Buster to retain his Championship.

Awesome!

I am glad TNA lifted the “Money in the Bank” Concept, it’s a good idea. And the Feast or Fired stipulation adds extra coolness to the concept.

Trying to Write this down really shows you how much “stuff” was in this show, and not enough Wrestling. Though something that pleased my rant from last week was in the show, where Christy Hemme had a talk with Sam Shaw about his weird Shrine Room (with the same pictures multiple times I might add). Christy saw the segment, and decided it’s creepy and only wants their “relationship” to be professional. Which is kind of ironic, given that a Camera Man was stood in his secret room.

I think it would have been better if Shaw went into the Room and the Camera Man tried to get a sneak peak, leading to Shaw beating him down violently. Or if the Camera Man sent like a lighting dude with his Smart Phone to sneak into the room, and then proceeded to get beaten down violently when Shaw caught him. But whatever.

The stupid part is that Christy must have seen his Violent Drawings, threatening the Waiter, Beating up that guy backstage (who was on this show and fine). You know, and that didn’t bother her about this weird guy she liked… but the shrine put her off.

Kurt Angle vs. Magnus

The first booking from MVP, and it’s designed to get Angle out of the ring. He’s supposed to be pretty banged up and not happy currently. Though to be fair, he wants to leave TNA, so screw him.

There wasn’t really a match here, they just did a few moves, Angle caught Magnus in the Ankle Lock then EC3 turned up and attacked him.

EC3 then went to town on Angle’s knee with a Chair, and submission locks, leaving Angle to be carried out on a Stretcher.

Though apparently Angle does a run in next week or something, so the whole idea was for nothing, as it’s supposed to get Kurt out of Wrestling to heal up. Given the length EC3 went to, to sell Kurt’s injury / absence, I would have to agree him showing up again seems a little stupid.

In what was probably the best and easily the funniest part of Impact this week. Chris Sabin had set up this backstage “date” room thing where apparently he and Velvet shared their first kiss some years ago.

Velvet eventually turned up, and a little unsure why the Camera crew were filming. Sabin told her about last week was a turning point for him, and how he sees what he did wrong, and now a Veil has been lifted.

He gets down on one knee and removes a Ring Box presenting it to Velvet, asking her “Will you?”. A teary eyed Velvet opened the box to find it empty, and Sabin continued “Will you just get the hell out of my life!?”

We all knew it was coming, but it was still rather hilarious.

Though Sabin challenged Velvet to a match next week, so… that will be weird.

Bobby Roode vs. Samoa Joe – Number One Contendership – World Heavyweight Title Shot

So this marks the Second match on the card, adding in a possible two others. One which was short and just to sell a run-in from EC3. The other short, but awesome spontaneous title defence.

Earlier in the night Bobby brought a Contract for he and Magnus at Lockdown for the World Championship to Dixie, but given Joe’s recent Number One Contender win, and MVP turning up, she couldn’t commit. Instead, she made this match between he and Joe.

It is a little annoying how winning anything now, actually doesn’t mean you earn what you won. Like Gunner with his Briefcase which he keeps having to defend. And Joe with his Number One Contender Win.

I am glad Joe is back on a Rampage, though I feel he’s not quite found his “Spark” back as he once had it. Roode on the other hand is pure awesome.

Least Impact had a great Main Event, though I made little notes on what happened during the match, I would encourage all to watch it. It’s not “put a star next to it Match of the Year contender” but it was still a great match.

Joe dropped Roode with the Muscle Buster and then got a Submission Victory with his Choke Hold keeping his position as the Number One Contender.

It does bother me though that Roode is looked at as a Looser now. Dixie even said “It’s not like you won your last match!” with regard to Roode being in the Main Event. And that annoys me because he lost to Kurt Angle in a Cage Match (with a close finish), after having a Winning streak in general, and especially over Kurt Angle for Months and Months. Stupid Heel Face rules and BS.

Impact closed the show with Dixie and MVP having a Summit in the middle of the Ring. Which would perhaps have been better if we didn’t get MVP talking earlier on in the night, followed by Dixie having numerous scenes backstage talking with Spud, to then Dixie and MVP talking backstage about coming out and talking about the future of TNA, in front of the World.

They could have just done it as a Headline to the show “Still to come!” etc.

And like anything TNA usually try and build up, it did nothing. The Future of TNA, which was Dixie blabbing on about Magnus and how people should follow her to Success. Then MVP saying “You are the Problem” and that they Agree to Disagree, he is bringing the Change, and her Running TNA as she wants to, “Is Over!”.

So it’s a good thing to move it forward… but it actually told us nothing… and did nothing. A little empty for a Finish I found, something to grab on to for next week would have been a much more exciting finish.

Still, not a bad show, I hope TNA are moving in a good direction, I really hope AJ, Hardy, Sting, Jarrett actually all play a part in MVP’s Change, but who knows?

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

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