Tag Archives: CM Punk

Monday Night Raw #1188, February 29, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Chris Rock Oscars

CHRIS ROCK – YOU ARE THE F**K!N MAN – OK!!!

This man showed the Oscars how to do it in 10 minutes! I wanna shout out to the 5% nation, I respect that you good people see things for what they are and not what they appear to be, I saw your comments regarding Chris Rock’s opening monologue… but can’t you just laugh and clap along for once??!!!!

As far as I’m concerned, Chris Rock is DA MAN. Kevin Hart cannot touch him I’m sorry, then I tyrn my attention to wrestling fans – Mick Foley is funny I give him that on stand up, but he cannot touch Chris Rock, nor can Dolph Ziggler, none of those wrestlers you watch when they do stand up. Yeah I said it – NONE OF THEM.

You guys marked out last week in my absence, now it’s MY TURN! THE UNDERTAKER IS BACK! I’m team Undertaker… f**k your little brand extension! Anything to get Cesaro over…

GRANT BODY-P!

Dom’t get it twisted – I like Cesaro… but even I gotta side with Vincent Kennedy here – he IS missing something! And that’s REAL!

REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A WEIRDO! DON’T DO IT!

Follow us – ON DI TWITTA – @stc_wwe!

RAW #1188! I might have missed a big RAW last week, I sure ain’t missing this one!

WWF PROPA TINGZI wonder why Rusev is in such a good mood? If anyone can body slam him, they win his Maserati car… YO SIGN ME UP! It’s only Rusev! It’s not like it’s Andre The Giant now is it?

Here he comes… that dirty, that evil… TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!

Now they booing his @$$… they were cheering him last week! Ha! You wrestling fans are fools, you don’t keep it 100-1000 like me, Infamous Informer, GRANT BODY-P!

Nashville crowd chanting for Roman… WOW! No one challenges authority… but Deano knows NO AUTHORITY!!! After getting battered by Brock Lesnar, Triple ain’t nuthin right?

I’m loving this back and forth sh!t with Ambrose and Triple Teef! I’m just waiting for Ambrose to cheap shot Triple in his big nose! Ambrose wants to challenge Triple for the World Wrestling Federation Championship!

Well Triple is like – you fight Bertie first, then I’ll give you an answer.. see Deano could beat Bertie, and Triple could turn round and say f**k you! I’m the authority, I don’t have to defend my sh!t!

Yo Charlotte is looking fine more and more each day! I’m telling you her Divas Champion wages is been spent wisely on those facials! Grant & Leva

GRANT BODY -P!

Sasha Banks Vs Becky Lynch… winner points to the sign and fights Charlotte! LET’S DO THIS SH!T!

Great technical counter moves by both women here! Bet you’d never hear me say that now would you? As my moms would say, two bad bull meet up!

Look at Ric Flair! With a smile on his face watching the match! Anyone would think he’s watching one of those Brazzer films!

Look pon this now… Sasha hit the sunset flip, and they lying on the mat in a reverse 69 with both shoulders on the canvas… I don’t know why the crowd are chanting Triple Threat for, I could have told you this last week… well I be damned – I DID!

Since the Wyatts are not f**k!n with the Undertaker this year, I have no interest in what Wyatt has to say!

I can tell you one thing I don’t really like about the commentary… they keep talking about ‘WrestleMania Moment’… I mean, now they got fans like ‘where the Mania Moment at?’ ‘Nah man WrestleMania was sh!t, because there was no WrestleMania moments!’ the matches could be off the hook, but if there’s no moments, then the IWC complaining begins!

AAAAH SH!T! Stephanie is gonna bring her speech for her Vincent J. McMahon Legacy of Excellence award! It’s all about that ‘GONG’! If that tolls… Stephanie GET OUT OF THERE!!! He might have one of these prepared for you!

You don’t wanna be on one of those again… DO YOU STEPHANIE??

She does look ravishing though GOD DAMN!!! Yo Undertaker get the cross out here!!!

Well… Stephanie’s acceptance speech was heartfelt right? I was hoping for the gong… didn’t get it… so I think I’m gonna tweet my displeasure…. I’ll be back in a bit…

WHO THE F**K DO YOU THINK I AM??? My momma taught me better than that! I’m Not That Guy… I DON’T DO DRUGS!

Shout out to the fan in the crowd with the sign ‘LILLIAN DRIVES ME LOCO!’ You DAMN RIGHT! Let’s get a pic of Lillian and Natalya up here… FOR NO REASON!

Ok Kofi be like your brothers and take off the stupidness off your headtop! Ok New Day are pushing it here! They claim to be more legit than Edge & Christian! Snoop & Dre! Sonic & Tails! Even Grant Body-P & Ghostface Killah!

Now you guys gotta deal with Y2AJ… love to know where this storyline is going… I’m sure the IWC want Styles to be in the main evenyt straight away, because you know, the fans are such great businessmen!!!

GRANT BODY-P!!

That’s it Xavier! When in doubt… send for the trombone! it always works!

OH NO! Kofi just tapped out to the Walls of Jericho! I’m glad Jericho said ‘challenge for the tag titles next week on RAW’… hold up – IN CHICAGO???? Oh no not there… not ther place where they probably got a statue of CM Princess Peach B!tch emblazoned in city where they worship it like a wresssstlingggg…… GOOOOODDDDDDD!

AAAAAH SH!!!!!T! HERE WE GO!!! Huh??? Vincent Kennedy???!!! Well yes that’s cool as well!

Vincent Kennedy is 70 years old… if that gong sounds… I hope Vincent Kennedy got a nappy/diaper on!

He’s the instrument of destruction! But Vince! You don’t have an URN????

Told ya! As soon as the door shut – THAT’S IT! Shane goose cook! er Shane… you better learn that kung fu I saw you doing!

Oh sh!t… er Shane… you won’t be in Vince’s will if you don’t defeat Undertaker! Oh no! What happened to all those businesses you had Shane-O??? Vince is gonna shut down Shane as a biological son! He can’t do that!

In all honesty what an anti climax! I was hoping Undertaker was gonna chokeslam Vince to hell but… he basically said – CHEQUE PLEASE!

Oh boy… there’s gonna be a lot of jabronies complaining on the internet now! But me? I’m better than that. I’m gonna grab a pudding… chocolate cake and custard is the one!

Uh-Oh – Kevin Owens in the house… Mike Cole make sure you call the match and don’t talk about WWE Network, or WrestleMania moments… NONE OF THAT SH!T!

Has Lana took her WWE wages and brought some t!tt!£$??? Don’t make em any bigger than that now!

What do you think guys? Answers on a postcard – tweet me -@MZATheInfamous!

Meanwhile my wife who got away – Naomi needs to beat down that BellaDashian… sorry Brie but your Danny Bryan fighting style is no match for my Naomi!

Naomi with a new submission move and mash up Brie! It looks like CM P**k’s Anaconda Vise! If you muthaf***az start I shall sword swing and lyrically annihilate you! But what is Lana’s beef with Brie??? You don’t suppose we might see Lana fight at WrestleMania???

I think my Smack Talk Centre crew are right when they say – When Deano fights Bertie, the League of Nations will rush Deano, then Triple Teef will come and do the same to Ambrose what he did to Reigns…

Yo Facebook just told me that Meagan Good is live now (at time of this blog)… shall I forget this wrestling sh!t and watch Meagan???

Looks like something is going down at the church where she’s at… but why on a Monday night? Makes no sense… is she gonna get baptised? Or is she baptised already? Answers on a postcard please – TWEET ME!

Bertie is killing Ambrose!!! And that evil motorhead music hasn’t hit yet!

NOW THE EVIL MOTORHEAD MUSIC HAS HIT! And that Triple Teef is loosing his tie!

“You will never beat The Authority Dean”! Next minute Deano boxed Triple in his mouth! throwing lefts and rights! But Triple responds – pedigree – BLAOW! Triple is like – Ok Deano – next week me and you! Deano is like – ‘Thanks Hunter!’ Triple is like – HELL TO THE NAW!! Throws Deano across the announce table and hits the ground and pound on Deano!!!

If you ask me Deano got lucky compared to Roman Reigns! This can work both ways – Brock could interfere and batter Deano, or/and Roman could interfere and attack Triple! Either way… aaaah sh!t – this Road to WrestleMania is looking good! Maybe Undertaker didn’t have to say much in retrospect… Bad man move in silence!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

NEW STC LOGO 2015

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Monday Night Raw #1167, October 5, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

It’s that time of the month people! and I don’t mean wrestling fans on their period!

GRANT BODY – P!

Not only have we gotta save the tables, but we gotta save the t!tt!£$ as well! Those things are good to us! And we are gonna celebrate t!TT!£$ this week on this week’s blog, because breast cancer is a serious thing. So if you’re a feminist, or a 40-year-old virgin who cums at the sight of nipples, or a battyman in love with CM Princess Peach B!tch, THIS BLOG IS NOT FOR YOU!!!

RAW #1167! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZMike Cole says we are in for a hell of a show… I hope he means no ‘repeat’ matches! Big Show seems to be alright as well, after the beating he took at MSG by BRRROOCCCK LESSSNARR who has kicked off RAW!

Oh no not the WrestleMania XXX nightmare…. I can’t relive that again and again! That’s like Bruce Lee when he had to fight that demon in his life!

Then the Summerslam ‘screwjob’… I mean, I’m Undertaker through and through and I will support him 100%… Heyman says it’s not a prediction, it’s a spoiler, One will walk out of the cell the victor, and the other will not walk out at all.. Oh well Brock… you are a beast… but Undertaker becomes a DEMON in that cell!

Oh what is the Big Slow doing out here? WORD? He’s gonna put his hand out and say Brock is the DON?!!!

What an idiot… Big Show – you are a Big Fool! Another suplex and an F-5 – BLAOW!!!! Now go to your room!

OFFICIAL – Roman Reigns fights Bray Wyatt in the Cell! YES! Finally WWE have got it right. two extremely personal rivalries that has gone too far that they have to send for the cell. That’s how it should be!

LADIES! Roman Reigns is in the ring! 6 man tag team action! Come on girls rub on your t!TT!£$!

467e0753-349a-4b1a-bddb-394b222c5d35That’s what’s up – Be Proud of your t!TT!£$!!! Roman Reigns is sure to win!

YES!!! Because you women rubbed yout t!TT!£$… nipples hard and all… The combined might of Reigns, Ambrose and Orton mash-up the Wyatt bwoy dem!

Don’t tell me Neville is gonna fight Stardust… oh thank goodness it’s Sheamus!

Sheamus talking too much sh!t, bad man move in silence… Neville starts kicking Sheamus all over the ring…and… the match dun already? You know what that was? that was Neville, Sheamus and Barrett (who was at commentary) basically saying ‘Yes sir’ to Mr McMahon’s register just to say they were present…

Oh no!!! It’s my hero! Bi-Polar Kane!!! Look at him! his leg is ‘mash up’!!! Seth is fed up of the mind games!!! The joke is that Seth shows so much hatred against Corporate Kane… and Kane acting like he’s the good Samaritan!

Ooh Stephanie is out here – if anyone supports breast cancer more than anybody, even me, it’s Stephanie! But check it – if the Demon Kane does not defeat Seth Rollins for the title at the PPV, then Corporate Kane is out of a job…. hmmmm…. logic says I support Seth Rollins here! As I was saying… let’s honor Stephanie’s t!TT!£$… even though they are a bit on the false side…

Stephanie tittiesNatalya back on di telly! Her opponent… the UNGRATEFUL BRAT – Paige! Hopefully she will lose again… come on Natalya, show Paige how to do it! You come from the Hart Dungeon – you cannot let this little b!tch win!

Look at Natalya throwing those bows! Come on girl! mash her up!!!

It’s NEVER your house b!tch! Do you pay the rent – NO – Shut the f**k up!

GRANT BODY – P!

THAT’S IT NATALYA! Twist the b!tch up in that submission Razor Ramon used to do!

I swear down I hate when Paige even speaks now… so unattractive… I don’t get it guys – how is this woman so appealing? seriously guys, you got 30 seconds to convince me…WWE2K16 GRANT BODY -P!

Natalya applies the sharpshooter! But Paige made it to the ropes… SH!T!

Natalya got her again!! YES!!! THE B!TCH TAPPED OUT! GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE PAIGE!

The rest of Raw could be wack… Naomi may not appear… I don’t care – NATALYA BEAT PAIGE! Justice is finally restored!

Ever wondered why I didn’t write about the Lucha/Ryback/Kevin Owens match/segment? Because it wasn’t worth talking about…

Damn who p!$$£d Stephanie off? Maybe she found the pic of her ‘t!TT!£$’ exposed on the internet… IT WASN’T ME! I put up a nice picture of her! Even The New Day are confused… they thought she liked em! Maybe she does! I dunno…she mentioned nothing about tables so I suppose she supports the cause… #SaveTheTables

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/save-the-tables

URRRRGHHHH This is tiresome… can’t this be on a segment after RAW live? I mean, It’s all good for Cena to be the spokesperson of this breast cancer sh!t and bigging up the breast cancer survivors… I have an idea, while Cena is doing that, let’s throw up another good ol’ t!TTy picture…

Torrie-Wilson-bikiniAAAH SH!T – they got Roman Reigns being a spokesperson too? THERE YOU GO GUYS! You can hate him now… but he won’t stop now!

For real – we just gonna have this match now? Corporate Kane & Seth Rollins vs The Dudley Boys?

HOLD UP – Someone is tuning into RAW this week…

If you’re going to give money to a company that claims to raise money for finding a cure for cancer, please do someresearch.Komen is a scam

I tend to believe him… but it’s like yo… why is he so concerned?

Anyway back to this – Uh-oh  – the Dudleys sent for the tables…. what must The New Day be thinking???

IT’S KAAAANE!!!! AAAAH SH!T! But the Dudleys stand their ground! They remember what Kane did to them at SmackDown… 3D!!! – BLAOW!!! Kane laid out! So before Seth took foot and run… the fool taunts Kane doesn’t he? Now I’ve watched this wrestling sh!t a long time, and I know that if Kane or Undertaker are laid out on the canvas… you NEVER stand over them… they WILL crab you by your neck from a floored position, then CHOKESLAM – BLAOW!! right through the table!

The New Day must be crying in the car at this time… guys – you may not have saved that table.. but you can save the t!TT!£$… I know you wanna save Team BAD’s t!TT!£$… SO DO I!!! You guys save Tamina and Sasha… but Naomi – she’s ALL MINE!

TEAM BAD 2These three… you don’t want to know what’s going through the mind of the Infamous Informer… GRANT BODY – P!

Imagine if Team BAD defeats the Bellas as well… I’d love to hail RAW as the best ever! But obviously I cannot do that…

WHOA!!!! Now when Brie drops the Danny Bryan kicks, the Boston crowd chant NO! NO! NO!

YES!!!! TEAM BAD show the Bellas how to do it! I can now go to bed happy… but there is still half an hour at best of this sh!t…

A wha de raaaaar??? Summer Rae with a tribute to the Super Athlete Rusev??? Where is this going?

BACKSIDE??!!!! NO! Summer going on her crusty knees? What is she gonna ask him – will you let me suck your c-

GRANT BODY-P!!!!

I guessed wrong! But marriage??? She calls him Ru-Ru! She says he can walk out of WrestleMania 32 as the World Wrestling Federation Champion???? WHOA!!!!

HE SAID YES!!!! BACKSIDE!!! Mr & Mrs Bulgarian Brute???

But not yet???? He says he gotta be the champion FIRST! Good thinking there Rusev! Sounds a reasonable deal to me… because if he wins, he can pay for the wedding! Rusev has his head screwed on!

To take your mind off that storyline… lets celebrate some more t!TT!£$… Lana where you at girl?

The crowd is like “John Cena SUUUUUUCKS!” Oh dear!

Who’s the opponent this week? They making a big deal of it this week, like there’s a surprise lurking…

Dolph Ziggler? Yes the match will be good but quite frankly, I’m not interested…

OH SNAP!!! THE NEW DAY GOT HIM!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

BIG E is gonna take him!!!! COME ON BIG E!!!!!

BIG E is straight dominating this match!!! Byron Saxton is right – underneath all that comedy, all that ‘obnoxious’ behavior, BIG E was a former NXT Champion, Former Intercontinental Champion… so BIG E can do this!

Imagine that – New Day with Tag Team and the US Title? similar to The Shield? Anyhow they win… Team BAD are in trouble… you know The New Day love to mess around with Team BAD… I WOULD!

OH NO! The New Day got caught trying to teef! Damnit…. Cena won, but The New Day continuing the assault, that fool Ziggler comes out – BUT YO – Ziggler super kicks Cena accidentally! It’s becoming obvious from here, considering certain rumors… Ziggler gonna be that dude to defeat Cena… ain’t that a b!tch… Damn The New Day mashed up Cena, Ziggler and the Dudley Boys???!!!! Xavier mashed up the trombone effect! But it doesn’t matter! THEY KILLED IT!!!

Now guys, let’s go out and nurture and caress and appreciate those t!TT!£$! Let’s make Dean Ambrose proud!

GRANT BODY – P!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

NEW STC LOGO 2015

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Monday Night Raw #1106: August 4, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

Peace & Blessings Wrestling fans around the world! My Name is Michael Grant a.k.a. The Infamous Informer, a.k.a. The Man In The Purple Suit, a.k.a. the 1 behind the 1 in 17-1… when My Client, RRRRRRon Killings, Conquered the Bo Dallas streak last week on Raw!!!!

(BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!)

Boo me all you want but I each and every week I speak the truth to you deluded wrestling fools! CM P**k doesn’t wanna know, Dolph Ziggler is WACK and you stupid muthaf***as supported the excellent Guardians of the Galaxy after you run down Batista to the ground… how stupid and dumb do you look now??? You sneer and go to the toilet during diva matches like b!tches in a club doing their make up taking selfies and sh!t and now the most talked about match at Summerslam is Brie Bella Vs Stephanie McMahon…

WHO ARE THE IGNORANT FOOLS NOW???!!!

Now b!tch, get me my Real McCoy Man Crisps, my Aero mint chocolate, my Carte La’Dor Strawberry Ice Cream and my Jaffa Cakes, don’t forget my Pineapple & Grapefruit crush drink… sit down and SHUDDUP! RAW #1106! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZBig ups to STC member James Patrick Park Jr. Live in effect at Raw this week but they took the Smack Talk Centre sign away from him???? WHAT SORT OF SH!T IS THAT??? The Smack Talk Centre must be too gangsta for the WWE!!! You f**k!n with the wrong n!**@ now WWE!

EVERY MEMBER OF THE STC PLEASE RISE, PUT YOUR HAND ON YOUR HEART AND SAY IT LOUD: WE THE STC!!!!

I wished I counted how many times this year Raw starts with the Authority coming out here… don’t get me wrong though… I love to see Stephanie’s sexy @$$… but it’s like 2000 when Triple used to come out talking sh!t like – ‘I AM THE GAME-ERRRRR…. I AM THE WWF CHAMPION-ERRRRR… And I AM THAT GOOD-ERRRRR!!!!’

What is this – a promo ramming the WWE Network down my neck back??? This a shot at the IWC – all 128,000 of em who withheld their sh!t after 6 months…

It’s also promoting the WWE Network going global after they clinched the deal with the Canadian Cable Company….

STEPHANIE… YOUR COWBOY BOOTS!!!! COME HERE GIRL RIDE THAT PONY!!!

And guys, you can catch Stephanie McMahon riding on Grantington Steele on the WWE Network for $9.99 (£6.71) a month!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

But according to Triple TEEF, you get to read on here about My hero Kane Vs Roman Reigns in a Last Man Standing Match for free!!!!!

If a steel chair is wedged between the turnbuckles, and Roman Reigns drives Kane headfirst into it… does that count as a chair shot to the head? ??? Hit me up on the TWITTAAAAR!!! @MZATheInfamous!!!

HERE WE GO!!! Roman Reigns has sent for the tables!!!! I hope Kane sets that sh!t pon FYYYYRRRRRRE!!!!

OH SNAP!!! Roman Reigns went for the Superman Punch, Kane with the sidestep – grabs him, Chokeslam through the table – BLAOW!!!!

Luckily for Reigns his SWAT gear cushioned some of that blow. Reigns able to recover, got the superman punch, ducks underneath Kane’s clothesline, comes off the ropes – SPEAR – BLAOW!!!! Kane tryna pull up with the ropes but it’s too late – 10 count!!!

Oh Kane….. I knew you should have set that muthaf***a on fire! Reigns would have lost for sure! Triple said he wanted to see the demon…. the demon got slayed yo!

Well if you wanna see tables set pon fyre you can see it pon de WWE Network, for $9.99 (£6.71)!!!

WHAT AN EPIC MMA/UFC STYLE PROMO PACKAGE BY BROCK LESNAR & JOHN CENA!!! But Brock said something that made me think – Yo WWE, you better rate this thing TV-14!!!! “I’m gonna leave John Cena in his own blood, urine & vomit…” Oh my god – OH… MY… GOD!!!!! (JR VOICE)

And if you wanna see the biggest fight of the summer then send for the WWE Network at only $9.99 (£6.71)!!!

Wait a minute…Sandow can’t come out to JR’s music????? After WWE treat him bad like that???? DISRESPECT!!!! Sandow you’re my dude but you gonna get buss arse for this surely!

OH SNAP!!!! HE WILL GET BUSS ARSE!!! MARK HENRY IN THE HIZ-HOOOUUUUUSEE! Bruk him up Henry…. THAT’S WHAT YOU DO!!

Oh no next week on Raw is gonna be MAAAAAAD! Hulk Hogan’s Born Day plus surprise guests???? Ok let’s get to guessing… Rowdy Roddy Piper gotta be there… Sandow will be there probably dressed up as Mr America and sh!t… how about The Rock & Stone Cold Steve Austin??? Nah that’s asking too much! But is $9.99 (£6.71) for the WWE Network asking too much?????

I like the banter and jokes surrounding the WWE Network between JAY-BEE and Lawler… it’s almost classic heel commentary! If those internet muthaf***az complain about this…. it makes me wanna rage like Ken in Fist of the North Star and throw fists at y’all muthaf***az!

 

What sort of move was that by Bertie???? That was like a reverse suplex off the top ropes!!!! And Ambrose survives??? DAYUUUM!!!

Bwoy Bertie was a tough opponent for Ambrose! 15mins42secs is the time to beat for Seth Rollins… Winner of beat the clock chooses the stipulation…. if I was Ambrose, If Seth fails to beat the clock I’d choose an ‘I’ll F**K YOU UP’ match and take the briefcase!

OK LADS HOLD YOUR NUTS AND KEEP YOUR PALMS ON EM! Miss Tight Up Skirt herself – Lana is in the hiz-houuuuussse! And if you want her to grip your nuts all you gotta do is send for the WWE Network for $9.99 (£6.71)!!!!

LAYDEEZ!!! If you’re bi-sexual and want Lana to give you that good scissor lovin, send for the WWE Network for only $9.99 (£6.71)!

Lana has a good singing voice don’t you think??? If you want her to sing happy birthday to you, you know what to do…..

WWE NETWORK, $9.99 (£6.71)!!!

Damnit I was hoping that Rusev would CRUSH that Zeb Colter….maybe I’ll see it at Summerslam…. on the WWE Net…. wait a minute, I won’t have to do that since I will be with the STC LIVE at the Hogshead!!!!

 

Trust DRY ENGLAND to be last with the WWE Network… 170 different countries get it from next week and we have to wait til October 1????? What sort of sh!t is that???? F**k that – I blame Cameron…. I bet he’s trying to add WWE Network tax on that sh!t! If anyone deserves the Fist of the North Star punches… or if there is anyone I hate more than the IWC… it’s that muthaf***a who calls himself the prime minister! Get me in the ring with that bastard – I’LL F**K HIM UP!

Ziggler just beat Cesaro???? The Grant Says – I think it was a mistake that Cesaro broke away from Heyman….ever since then he’s been losing and sh!t… and Anthony Cardenas – it’s not ‘jobbing’ if Cesaro loses once! It’s just a loss! No wonder Ric Flair hates us using wrestling terminology!

Look at the creativity behind Cody Rhodes new Stardust character!!!! It’s amazing!!!! Even his fighting style is different to that of Cody himself! It’s a damn shame that they not at Summerslams… there’s 8 matches signed and not one of em are for the tag team titles! Maybe a tag team turmoil is needed here??? Even if it’s for pre-show?

Oh no My hero Kane has taken back off his mask…. I hope it’s not back to the school trousers he wore….. Undertaker talk to your brother man!!!!

Do you think WWE2K15 will clock on to the crowd holding their phones with The Wyatt entrance?

Damn Jericho just cannot get a break!!!! Every week the lights go out and he gets buss arse by Bray Wyatt! I keep telling that muthaf***a to bring a chair with him every time he fights the Wyatt man dem… he never listens…. and oh yeah, get a stipulation going or something!!!

WTF IS THIS? Fandango’s new partner is MUTHAF***K!N HORNSWOGGLE??? F**KOUTTAHERE… I’m getting my Ice Cream… Incidentally French Vanilla (Summer Rae) and Caramel Sundae (Layla) are at ringside…. and I’d get all up in their guts! They want their pu$$y sucked… ICE CREAM!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh no! Bo Dallas lost again on Smackdown by DQ??? Dayuuum! R-Truth is on a role!!! Maybe R-Truth should face the Underta…… oh wait…..

Look at JAY-BEE with the piece of paper saying $9.99!!!! If I see fans in the crowd with $9.99 as signs I am gonna crack up!!!

Ok people, 15 minutes. 42 seconds or less for Seth Rollins to defeat Rob Van Dam…. something tells me Seth will fail to this…

OH SNAP!!!! Heath Slater replaces RVD in this beat the clock challenge??? The Authority is being TEEF here…. F**k that – it’s all about Stephanie Vs Brie now!

Wait a minute – Dean Ambrose at ringside…. uh-oh!!! What if Ambrose f**ks it up and Heath Slater wins?????!!! Now it’s got interesting!

Hold up – how did Ambrose manage to open the briefcase and rip up the contract???? He can’t do that!!!! He just poured popcorn and soda all over that muthaf***a! How is Rollins gonna cash in his cheque??? He CAN’T!!!! Well there goes my guess of the ladder match with the briefcase up for grabs down the sewer…. shout out to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles & Das Efx!

OH SNAP!!!!!!! Heath Slater win!!!!! BLODCLART!!!!!! Ambrose you gonna pay for that I will assure you!!

Oh hell naw!!! I have to wait til Smackdowns until Dean Ambrose names the stipulation??? Ok I’ll make an effort to watch that sh!t!!!GRANT BODY THRONE - P

Once again – Stephanie & Brie get the main event segment….. twice in a row??? THIS IS WHAT I CAME TO SEE!!! THE CONTRACT SIGNING! WWE Fans stand up! Wrestling nerds sit the f**k down!

Usually I hate the crowd for this but this time I respect them for this! Brie is gonna f**k up Stephanie for herself, Danny, Nikki, Big Show, The Rhodes Family, and CM PUNK!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YES!

What I saw next could be the funniest thing since GET IN THE CHAIR!

Stephanie signs the contract, slaps Nikki down! Before Brie could retaliate, Triple Teef pushes the table into the corner trapping Brie! LOOK AT THE SMILE ON HIS FACE!!! Stephanie with a Pedigree to Nikki – BLAOW!!!! OH SNAP!!!! Brie BEX!!! She slaps Triple!!!! But Stephanie grabs Brie, sets her up too! Pedigree into the canvas – BLAOW!!!!!

To those of you dyam arses who say Stephanie can’t wrestle, that she can’t fight, have you conveniently forgotten that Stephanie has been taking boxing lessons? That her husband is a 13 time Wrestling Champion who uses the hammer? So him teach her wrestling move???? Yeah you dumb wrestling internet keyboard warriors know it all don’t you? I actually remember Stephanie using the pedigree in the attitude era days… HA! I hope Danny has taught Brie how to use those pretty legs of hers to kick down Stephanie!

I AM KAZUYA GRANTSHIMA, THE MAN IN THE PURPLE SUIT, AND I GUT PUNCH INTERNET WRESTLING FANS LYRICALLY!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1103: July 14, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

Ok so Germany won the muthaf***!n World Cup…. THAT AIN’T SH!T compared to my triumph!!!! I met the Supreme Clientele Champion himself – Ghostface Killah! My idol of 20 years!!!

GRANTFACE KILLAHNow that I’ve been in the presence of greatness, YOU are reading greatness. I appreciate that. I got my ginger nuts, my dairy milk bubbly mint chocolate, my Sprite, I’ve had a nap after the epic London trip… LET’S DO THIS!!! RAW #1103, HOLD’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZWord on the street is that the icon himself Sting will appear on Raw to promote his addition on WWE2K15!!!! I have warned a certain STC member in the name of Stephen Cooper: If Sting DOES NOT APPEAR IN THE RAW ARENA…. the dreaded chair awaits!!!! Believe me – he don’t wanna go there!!!

So w’happen, they got Cena to advertise the WWE Network now? I think I’m used to Michael Cole advertising that sh!t!!! F**k that – The Infamous Informer and Shadfather advertise that sh!t better – It’s $9.99 a month which is £6.71 – which is around the national minimum wage so THE GRANT SAYS – if you working and you’re a wrestling fan… you better cop that sh!t before I clap you in your head!

You mean to tell me that while Dean Ambrose was getting buss arse by My hero Kane, Seth Rollins and Randall, John Cena and Roman Reigns were in the ring just watching that sh!t? I thought Ambrose was your ‘brother’ Roman??? Oh I get it… one of them was Kane…. but you’re both big strapping guys huh???? You both claim to be ‘Superman’ in your own right??? As Vincent Kennedy would say, ‘John Cena & Roman Reigns are nothing more than two, putrid… p-(censored)!!!!!’

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh HELL 2 DA NAW!!! It’s that how it goes down? Everytime Miz fights his grill is gonna be on the titantron??? While I remind myself it’s not the attitude era no more, now would be a good time to ask Austin & Big Show to destroy the titantron!!!

I’d rather see Vladimir Putin’s dry @$$ grill up on that muthaf***a!

Word is that Wade Barrett will be at Battleground to present the Intercontinental Championship to the winner…. while Shadfather backs the Great Khali, I back The Miz!!! I hope Wade Barrett says “Congratulations you won the Intercontinental Championship, but I’m afraid I got some BAD NEWS!” And clap down the winner with the belt! It would be great!!!!

Damn the way Stephanie is all over Triple… I’m not interested in this next Dolph Ziggler contest…. Triple just GET IN THAT PU$$Y! Or do I have to go GRANTINGTON STEELE on your wife while you watch and you jerk your hammer?

GRANT BODY – P!!!

HA! HA! Fandango as a solo dancer…. that’s right – because he’s a B!TCH!!!!! Since I hate both Ziggler and Fandango, lets watch this right here, when Summer Rae and my Baby Moda Layla saw sense and beat down the pansy!

YES! YES! YES! Now on Raw, Summer Rae & Layla just dissed Fandango! Now they dancing around Ziggler! THIS IS IT! They could cure Ziggler of his homosexual tendencies!!!!! I’m sorry, if I was Ziggler, I don’t care if it’s in front of 15,000 fans, I would be protruding in those wrestling trunks!!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

NO! Sandow dressed as some idiot in a McDonald’s???? EPIC FAIL! WWE YOU DROPPED THE BALL HERE! He could have dressed up as Sting to annoy the fans on some bullsh!t!

DAMIEN STINGDOW

There could still be hope for STC’s Stephen Cooper yet!!!!

OH SNAP – 2 out of 3 falls tag team contest between The Wyatt man dem and the Uso Brudda at Battleground? Did you see the Wyatt tag team super move? I don’t know what to call it – f**k it – I call it the Buzzard Death Drop – BLAOW!!!! I’m sorry Usos – you cannot compete with that move!

Lana what you doing hiding behind that podium thing? Let me see your sexy @$$ legs in that tight up skirt!!! Anyway I’m backing your argument girl in this American/Russian détente thing going on here!Official_WWE_Battleground_poster_featuring_Bray_Wyatt

GOD DAMN – Lana makes that Russian accent sound sexy – imagine f**k!n her and she has to scream and holla in that language???!!! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!

See that’s why Rusev gonna beat Swagger at Battleground – even the crowd boo their own president…. RACIAL MAN RACIAL!!!!!

But I gotta say – I can’t wait for this match!!!! Backing Rusev all the way! RUSEV! CRUSH! USE THE ACCOLADE AND KILL!!!!

OH MY GOD! WWE NETWORK DOING A PHILIP BROOKS SPECIAL! All the Philip Brooks fans are gonna rush to the chemists and get that essential cream to put on their genitalia!!! Chemists across the world are gonna make a huge turnover!!! Socks will be hard to find in Primark! Normal folk (that’s me and you) invest in an umbrella! There’s gonna be CM Spunk everywhere!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

…and the suffering of Nikki Bella continues! Listen to Stephanie wuk brain on Nikki, saying that Brie was selfish for leaving her hanging like that! Well Steph has a point, I mean, The Bella Twins are a package after all, fans like to see the twins… but let’s be real, ever since they got involved with Danny Bryan & John Cena the appeal has gone… I don’t know about you… I don’t fancy the twins anymore… like Beyoncé and Kim Kardashian, when they got involved with Jay-Z and Kanye, the sex appeal was lost. Don’t get mad, I’m only being real!

You know – the team of Cameron and Alicia Fox could work here… do you think Naomi will come out to help out??? You never know!

Say what? Cameron Vs Naomi at Battleground???? WHOA! This PPV is gonna be great!!!

Even though I knew about this…. I JUST MARKED THE F**K OUT WATCHING THE TRAILER!!! TWO GENERATIONS OF STING ON WWE2K15!!! THE GRANT SAYS – I’m pre-ordering that sh!t!!!!! If WWE do the entrance like what they just did there…. HOLY F**K!!!!

Hmmm interesting…What’s wrong Randall? Afraid that my hero Kane won’t stick to the plan and make you the champion??? If that’s the plan we don’t need a plan B???? Triple looked at Randall as if to say – there is ALWAYS A PLAN B…

Talking of Plan B…. what’s this I hear? Paul Heyman quit? Or he was fired? All apart of the plan people! I was looking forward to him telling me that his client – Plan B himself – conquered the Undertaker’s Streak at WrestleMania!

YES!!! With the combined force of Big E & Kofi, Big E defeated Cesaro! Suddenly Heyman disappears and Cesaro loses????!!!!! Ok now guys, call up Mark Henry and Titus…..

Are people chanting ‘BORING’ to Bray Wyatt’s promo? do me a favour wrestling fools – purchase the muthaf***!n network for $9.99 a month – you have to purchase the cream separately – watch your f**k!n Philip Brooks documentary and F**K OFF!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

LAWD HAVE MERCY – EVA MARIE DEP PON DE TELLY! Let’s see what she has learned….

Whoa Eva has improved a little bit! She has learned a few holds and submissions! And a back-breaker too! WOW! Only that her moves don’t look like they hurt…

I’d still f**k the sh!t out of her though! Grantington Steele that pu$$y – BANG BANG BANG!!!

Big ups to WWE – they got the Sting merchandise up for sale and everything! Come on guys! Get to contributing towards Sting’s retirement fund!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

All I have to do is BO-LIEVE!!! Bo-Lieve that while he’s fighting The Great Khali, I’m getting some ice cream!!!

Hey I just had a thought…. Do you think Bo Dallas could win the Battle Royal?????

He just defeated The Great Khali via count-out! Maybe he may lose the Streak to don of dons himself???? Just a thought…

Oh no! Paul Heyman is here!!!! Here we go! He’s talking about Plan C! And he didn’t mention the Undertaker’s streak!!! Uh Oh guys and gals! stay close to your loved ones!!! Tell them that you love them!

Why does this muthaf***a Flo-rida keep passing through Raw? He must be broke because nobody buying his wack records or downloading his sh!t from iTunes! And RePPiN4U sure as hell doesn’t endorse his sh!t!

ENOUGH OF THAT SH!T – RIC FLAIR IS HERE!!!! RIC FLAIR N!**@!

Wow Ric Flair looks good! Look at him looking at Renée like he wants to go buckwild and profile up in her @$$!

Oh no!! Ric Flair predicts John Cena gonna hold down the title at Battleground! Roman Reigns don’t like that sh!t! I tell you this: If Renée asked me that same question – who I think gonna win… I would say…. ME!!! Let’s me and you go in the back, play some Ghostface Killah, and make the Wizard of Poetry do the talking!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Uh-oh!!! at time of writing this, there is about 20 minutes left until I begin construction of the chair custom-built for Stephen Cooper!

It could be excellent strategy here, that Kane, Randall and Seth Rollins took out Ambrose earlier… let’s do the knowledge here, Ambrose says that anytime Seth tries to cash the cheque, he would come and f**k it up. So by doing that, they take on Roman and Cena, they brukk them up enough and then Seth can cash his cheque right there without worrying about Ambrose!

Nice to see Seth Rollins using the three amigo suplex right there! Ok who’s gonna use the triple German suplex?!!! Yes wrestling fools, WWE may erase Chris Benoit out of their history minus the network but his moves live on live long through various superstars!

Well Well Well! All guys in that match minus Seth Rollins be dropping their super moves on each other setting up the Fatal 4 Way jump off…. AND THE SHOW HAS ENDED!!!! You know what that means! Out comes the tool box! all the nails, all the wood, all the sharp edges… Let’s begin CONSTRUCTION!!! OHHHH STEPHEN???!!!!!!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(back story – he was on STC FB page today ranting and raving about Sting’s appearance on WWE Raw this week, he knew it was to promote the game, but he really thought he was gonna appear, and tried to convince us… I warned him only ONCE, that if Sting DOES NOT APPEAR… he would be given the GET IN THE CHAIR!!! AWARD…. his brother Ian Cooper is gonna love this, especially when WWE Network are doing a special on his idol???!!!!)

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1097: June 2, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

data:text/mce-internal,

I figured out why wrestling idiots said Payback was rubbish… because you didn’t turn up. Hopefully Philip Brooks, they will finally leave you alone.

Where are your CM Punk memes now Ian Cooper?! How do you like your hero now Ash Blick? Even Nicola Box is ashamed, and removed the ‘CM Punk’ from her name…

When will you fools learn that you cannot test the lyrical manifestations of the Infamous Informer???!!! RAW #1097, HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZFace it Evolution! You Evolved back in 2005. IT’S OVER FOR YOU! The Shield are far too strong! I think all three should be the World Wrestling Federation Champion straight away! If Danny can’t fight, give the belt to the Shield!!! BELIEVE IN THOSE OFFICIAL BAD MANS! TWICE IN A ROW MUTHAF***A!

Oh my god look at Triple’s eye!!!! BLODCLART!!!

What??? I thought you said the rivalry dun at Payback Triple? Oh for f**k sake fans CM Punk is DUN! Don’t chant his name – he loves hockey now.

OH SNAP!!!! First Brie Bella, now Batista just quit the WWE as well??? He can’t do that!!!(Oh I think you’ll find he can Grant… he gotta promote his Guardians of the Galaxy film!!!) Evolution D-U-N – DUN!!!!!

Question – why the f**k is Cesaro walking like that??? Him look like he’s constipated and sh!t!!!!

Question #2 – why aren’t the fans now chanting Batista??? He quit in Triple’s face…. chant his name then! Where’s all your memes? I bet you will all be queuing up at the cinema to see his film…. YOU DUMB RARSE!

So in this team of RVD & Sheamus Vs Cesaro and Barrett, RVD gets the pin on Barrett… does that mean RVD gets another shot at the I.C. title??? I have to ask these things because the wrestling fans need to know these things!!!!

Question #3 – why aren’t you chanting Brie Bella??? Or should I say Brianna Danielson? She quit in Stephanie’s face, and Yes! Yes! Yes! her way out of the building! Don’t you want her to come back???

Look what they have done to Damien Sandow…this is a heartbreak… please creative let this lead to somewhere… what happened to his robe, and telling muthaf***az SILENCE! And his cart-wheel?

WELL IT’S THE BIG SHOW!!! Well I’m glad he’s in this segment and not tryna stop Rusev because I fear that’s where that storyline is going…

PPPPPPPPP!!! Thank you Big Show! He just punched Sandow through school-buses like Froch did to Groves!

All you gotta do is BOLIEVE! He goes up against Kofi Kingston. Question #4: Where’s my hero Kane to interrupt the proceedings????

Oh dear! the crowd chanting BOring!!!!! They can’t do that!!!!! (Er yes they can Grant, They paid their money!)

OH NO! Stephanie is going to the ring to make an announcement about the WWE GRANT - BODY - PWorld Heavyweight Championship??? Yo Danny! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!! DON’T LOOK BACK!!!

Oh no Batista this is what you may want to hear! And you quit?

Is that how it goes down in the streets? If Danny can fight by the end of this month, he has to fight Kane in a stretcher match? No Steph! Make it an ambulance match! If not then the Money in the Bank match will have both titles hung in the air??? What’s Cena doing out here? You not the face of the company any more muthaf***a!!!

So he drops real talk on Stephanie’s fine @$$ and on top talks about her t!tt!£$… she sets my hero Kane on him!!! Embrace the hate John!!!! Hopefully Kane will start going after Nikki Bella! DO IT KANE!! GET DEM T!TT!£$!!!

Well thank you very much Los Matodores and that bullsh!t 3MB… I went to make my pudding because you jabronies were on and look what you make me do, trip up on the wire and accidentally lock off the laptop… not only that, I missed my girl Alicia Fox… I don’t know what the f**k she did so I’m gonna play this footage right here… apparently she was cussing bad words in Germany…. can she do that??? That is Question 6!

You think I’m interested in that Adam Rose/Wack Swagger match??? F**k that I’m watching this video!

Fans – STOP CHANTING THAT MUTHAF**!NG CM PUNK! HE DOESN’T GIVE A FLYING F**K ABOUT YOU! Brie Bella and Batista does! CHANT THEIR NAMES! I swear this CM Punk thing is getting me angry star! IT’S F**KING OVER! STOP BEING SO F**K!NG RETARDED! WHEN WILL YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR JEREMY KYLE THICK SKULLS??? That’s Question 7!!!

Oh dear…. The Wyatt man dem are here… but there is an empty rocking chair… oh dear! Cena what you done to Bray??? YOU KILLED HIM??!!! That’s Question 8!

Talking of chairs, what do you think of this special chair that I’m making for Ian Cooper? STC’s #1 CM Punk fan who got fooled the most? That’s Question 9!

SAW Get In The Chair

PUSH HARD THOUGH IAN!!!!

Oh man these Wyatt mans do not ramp! They seek vengeance… and defeated the USOs… can you imagine Harper & Rowan as tag team champions? It would be all over for the tag team division!

Bertie Vs Ziggler in a Money In The Bank qualifying match? BACKING BERTIE HERE! COME ON BERTIE!

That’s it crowd, chant for Ziggler… he is there fighting… he cares about you… I don’t care about him personally, but he CARES!

YES!!!! That’s a tap out!!! Ziggler nah go nowhere!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! BERTIE ADVANCES!!!! YES!

Ok… can Rybaxel win again??? two nights in a row? It could be huge!!!!

WHOA!!!!! Rybaxel win again???? Backfoot! The end is near!!!!

Rusev is about to be honored by the Russian Federation Ceremony? For what – beating on our brothers??? I wanna hear wither ‘Kick In the Door Wave in the 4-4 or ‘Somebody gonna get their @$$ kicked?!’ But this means Lana gonna be there with her tight blouse & skirt… Lana is that girl – you gotta go Lexington Steele on her @$$! You just cannot help but think pornographic thoughts when you see Lana! Like I couldn’t bring her home to mom, nah-mean?!

HA! HA! You can’t tell the crowd to stop their USA chants Lana! They want to put their d!ck in your mouth! Even the women!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Cue the Russian Anthem! WROOOOY!!! Listen to how it sounds triumphant! Here’s Question 10 – Does Rusev know the words? Considering he’s actually Samoan?!

Word up – how many teams can say they brukk up every member of Evolution? NONE!!! The Shield are OFFICIAL BAD MANS!!!

You hear that Randall? Get out here so that Roman Reigns can brukk you up with the symbol of excellence!!!! So Triple comes out with the symbol of disgrace! HE HAS BROUGHT THE HAMMER!

Wait a minute – NO!!!! Seth Rollins!!!! But…But…But!!!! I thought you were brothers??? Why you took a Triple TEEF endorsed chair and destroy your brothers??? Why? Tell me WHY??? DAMN SON!!!

Let’s be real about one thing: We knew someone was gonna turn evil, STC’s Negrodamus predicted that it would be Roman Reigns… but Seth Rollins? I forgot, his name is Seth…. suddenly that music springs to mind… if you are a Street fighter fan, you know what I mean!

BEHOLD THE GLORY THAT IS THE TANDEM ENGINE!!! This should be Seth Rollins new music!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Infamous Informer

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Monday Night Raw #1096: May 26, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Stephanie McMahon won the women’s title back in 2000, she never defended that sh!t.

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Dean Ambrose won the US title and held it for 352 days… he never defended it in half that time.

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Your Wrestling God CM Punk, held the WWE title for 434 days, he was injured for about a few months in that time, and never had to give up his title.

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Now Danny Bryan, just won the title at WrestleMania, suffers a neck injury, had successful surgery, should be back in a couple of months at best, but suddenly Triple TEEF and Stephanie McTEEF want him to surrender his title???

THIS IS JUST NOT RIGHT!!!

Are we going into the Payback PPV without a Championship match??? RAW #1095, HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF LogoNotice that when usually WWE does a Memorial Day tribute video or Tribute to the Troops package John Cena usually does the narrating? Why isn’t he doing it now??? I’m jussayin…

ENOUGH!!! LET’S GET INTO IT!!!

OH NO…. not the Authoritaaah! I guess there is no messing about! Danny Bryan! GIVE UP THE GOODS!!!

But before the main event, looks like they called out Brad Maddox…. I think dude is gonna be fired…. Yeah FIRE HIS B!TCH @$$!

Brad said he was forced by The Shield???? WRONG ANSWER!!!!! Look w’happen now… IT’S KANE!!!!

What is worse than being fired??? My Hero Kane grabbing that scrawny neck of Maddox… CHOKESLAM!!!! BLAOW!!! Pick him up, turn him upside down…. TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE!!!!! Oh SNAP!!! HE IS FIRED!!! Can he take this to the tribunal??? I don’t like his chances!

Hold up – Cesaro is gonna fight RVD? And Paul Heyman has mentioned nothing about his Client Brock Lesnar conquering the Undertaker’s Streak?

Oh snap! Bad News for RVD! He’s not gonna win the Intercontinental title, but good news for us! He’s at commentary!

Hol on – Bad News for Barrett! RVD just kicked him in his mouth!!! Oh dear RVD gonna pay for that surely!

There you go! Distraction by Barrett baited up the – enough of that sh!t – Sheamus just kicked Cesaro in his mouth!!!! DAYUM!!!!!

Payback WWERing the alarm!!! Eva Marie is about to fight!!!! Run to the toilet for your lives!!!

I can’t believe they made Summer Rae a ‘face’… I get it – it’s all that Total Divas business…

Don’t you think it should be the other way round? Eva Marie as the ‘face’ and Summer as the ‘heel since Summer seems to be disliked on Total Divas terms…

LOOK PON LAYLA’S DRESS! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! SAY IT AGAIN JAY-BEE! SHE DOES LOOK AMAZING!

Batista is my friend but big ups to Cody Rhodes who just called him a skinny jeans sell out and his bredrin – RK-BLOW! Oh boy gotta give props to the Rhodes bruddas but they gonna get brukk up by EVILOUTION!

Oh no not this 3.5MB and this Los Jobbodor nonsense…. this is the part where I go to the toilet, wash my hands, get a pack of cookies, top up my glass of Black Grape and check the meter and hit the emergency so that the electric doesn’t go out on me!

WTF??? Hornswoggle pulls off the tail of El Torito then in the back the doc puts it back on??? That ain’t PG mayyyyyn!!!

Why have I got this feeling that Bray Wyatt is gonna make that into a single – He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands??? I wonder – do they still sing that at primary school?

OH SNAP!!! Bray Wyatt just said that Cena is the enemy of us all! And the capacity crowd cheered!

I can’t believe the Wyatt man dem brukk up JAY-BEE! OH SNAP!

Damn they put Jerry Lawler on blast!!! All he did was big up Cena… he was gonna send for the Sister Abigail!!! Big ups to The USOs for coming to save Lawler’s clart! Not sure I agree with Cena saying Wyatt crossed the line… for Wyatt to cross the line he would have to rape Nikki Bella! YEAH I SAID IT! And get her pregnant too! THE FORBIDDEN SEED!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Holy crap – Zack Ryder gets TV Time! BLODCLART!!!! Susan Brunton step away from the….


Pic courtesy of STC member Lee Steadx
Maybe I need to step away from the cocoa butter!!! First Layla now Lana with her tight blouse and skirt!!! But Rusef…. KILL RYDER! KILL HIM!!!! LET’S GO!!!

No use chanting USA!!! Not even Hulk Hogan can save you now!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Hold up – Big E!!! He just gave Rusev some Black Fist beatings!!!! Reppin for USA and his people!!!! You know what that means! I gotta draw for the tune!

Oh man! I knew Cody flying around the ring would land him a RKO – BLAOW!!! And that Triple TEEF just changed the rules! Now it’s a no holds barred elimination match? they gonna f**k up Goldust! I call INJUSTICE!!! It is No Holds Barred!!! COME DOWN THE STAIRS GUYS!!!

RKO followed by a Batista Bomb through the canvas – BLAOW!!!! Sh!t… they didn’t come down the stairs… damn… I suppose it’s time to BO-lieve…

Ok let me see this Bo Dallas fighting style…. I heard negativity already from the IWC… they don’t give these cats a chance…

He’s not too bad!!! His super move is the BO-DOG, well it’s a more hefty version of Spike Dudley’s move, that’s it… hold up, where is that fool in the world today? Last time I saw him, he got his @$$ whupped by Stone Cold Steve Austin because AustinGrant & Leanna cussed down Molly Holly… you fat @$$ ungrateful b!tches…. why don’t you jump on that muthaf***!n treadmill, wipe the dust off that muthaf***a, and BOlieve that you can shed that weight instead of being keyboard warriors? Too fat to even climb into a wrestling ring, but are quick to cuss down these new cats? F**KOUTTAHERE!

HERE WE GO!!! Stephanie is here!!! Time for Danny Bryan to GIVE UP THE GOODS!


Well well well how about that then? Let’s be real – we knew Danny wouldn’t give up his title… after all he has valid reason not to and I agree 100%! Ever since he won at big BIG WrestleMania they tried to take the title from him anyway! He just said NO in Stephanie’s face to the point where Steph had to wipe the spit fire from her face!

Here’s the twist! Steph didn’t even slap Danny in the face! she thought that ain’t gonna hurt him, what will hurt him is that if he doesn’t give up the goods at Payback, then Brie Bella is fired!!!! Stephanie McTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!! Death of the Bella Twins!

More Divas! I love this!!!! Alicia Fox! Emma-lution! Backing Alicia here!!!! Get her Alicia! Brukk her up! Emma can’t dance!

OH SNAP!!!! Emma won???? Er… bad move Emma! You should have let her win!

Oh my days Alicia KILLS IT! Throwing beer all over herself, beating up cameramen, pulling out the biggest wedgie since your beloved attitude era – I’m sure DX did something similar! Ringing the bell crazy! Er Paige… if I was you… I’d just lay your @$$ down for the 3…. it’s not worth it man! I’m sure STC’s Ash Blick would love to jump off top ropes on your @$$!

I’m not gonna speak on Adam Rose and ‘Davy Crockett’… but the Payback kick off YouTube match – El Torito Vs Hornswoggle in a Mask Vs Hair match???? Well THE GRANT SAYS – Hornswoggle…. GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

For a minute I thought I had nothing to write on the Bertie Vs Sheamus match, I can say two things…one , Sheamus looks f**ked up like he suffered a concussion, and two, I was wondering how long it would be before Heyman would announce that his client Brock Lesnar conquered the Undertaker’s streak at WrestleMania!

HERE WE GO!!!! Contract signing between The Shield and Evolution and The Shield are in business already! dashing out the chairs! We don’t need that sh!t!

Triple TEEF is acting like he got the hammer and the shovel ready for Sunday!!!

WTF are the crowd chanting???? Answers on a postcard please!

Paperwork out the way… BRING THE F**K!N RUCKUS!!!

OH NO!!! Triple TEEF has drawn for the hammer!!!! And he lick dem all down!!!! TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!! Set up the announce table, hoisted up Roman Reigns, all those months of powerbombing muthaf***az through tables has come back to haunt him! Batista with the powerbomb – BLAOW!!!! HIM DEAD NOW!!!

This is how it goes down! payback, Sunday June 1, 2014, someone ain’t getting up after 10, a diva is gonna go crazy whether she wins or loses, one team will be completely annihilated and somebody’s job is on the line and could be ‘fired’…. Yes I put that in quotations because what if my hero Kane is back there? How do you like your Brie Bella??? Cooked well done or Extra crispy???

Plus? Will STC Admin Ian Cooper’s dream come true? Will his beloved saviour come back and save the WWE? Oh he better hope and pray because if he is an atheist he better get himself baptized ASAP! I have a feeling Philip is gonna let him down again! And then…. THE CHAIR AWAITS… GRIM REAPER CALLING – JUDGMENT DAY!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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The Infamous Informer

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Monday Night Raw #1081: February 10, 2014

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The Infamous Informer

As this blog was written on the 11th anniversary of his passing, this blog goes out to the man call Curt Hennig a.k.a. Mr Perfect (Live On Live Long…)

Big ups to Mike Knoxxx and BDSIR Network Perfect Plex Radio – they put me on to a wrestling themed hip hop mixtape… they played some tune on their show and I was like YOOO!! I NEEDS THAT!!! And if you are a hip hop/wrestling head, YOU NEEDS THIS TOO!!! Fred Knuxx! RapMania!

http://www.datpiff.com/Fred-Knuxx-Rapmania-mixtape.319314.html

Yo WWE! ever thought of doing an Aggression II hip hop album??? Matter of fact don’t bother, if it’s anything like that wack sh!t you play on your PPVs, I gotta steel chair back here ready to clap in your head!

Y’all asked for CM Punk, you get Betty White from the Golden Girls! NOW SHUDDUP! Before Mark Henry inducts your punk @$$ (Pun intended) into the HALL OF PAIN and says – THAT’S WHAT I DO!!! RAW #1081, HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZYeah let’s get this sh!t started! Betty White in the hiz-house! IWC – SHUT THE F**K UP… Gotta say Betty White came at the right time, she knew what happened to Mae Young (God Bless Her Soul) back in the attitude era and the Dudleys! Betty says she’s gonna kick some @$$! UH OH I think she means that sh!t!!

Look at the Authoritaaah killing teet at Big Show! haha!!! Big Show looking at Triple like ‘I ain’t forgotten muthaf***a!’ And as for Stephanie… Valentines draws near… come here girl I got something for ya…

Good to see that this crowd ain’t chanting CM Fool’s name!!!! YEAH I SAID IT! I respect the guy, tired of hearing about him. GET OVER IT. He would have left in July anyway!

Randall don’t give me joke!!!! Kissing Stephanie’s @$$ – I don’t blame ya!!! Daniel Bryan just put you on BLAST!!! Him talk about – Randall planting one on Stephanie’s lips!!! But come on guys… wouldn’t you???

Randall & StephanieI warn you readers from now – I WILL GO PROFANE on this blog this week! (What else is new Grant???) haha good point!

OK 6-Man Tag Team jump off! Rey Mysterio! The Rhodes Brudda, the Wyatt Man Dem! LET’S GO!

You know what’s mad about the Wyatt man dem? The more you beat them down, the more they like it! It does remind me of Mankind back in the day, I remember my boy Undertaker used to buss up his clart… but Mankind was smiling and sh!t!!! That’s f**ked up!

The commentators better watch what they ask for? Nominating each other to be in the Shield Vs Wyatt match at the Elimination Chamber??? You know Triple TEEF is listening…

INFAMOUS TWITTER AMUSEMENT:
Vince McMahon ‏@VinceMcMahon 9h

I have a date with @BettyMWhite tonight on #RAWpic.twitter.com/vs6yf14NcX

THE GRANT SAYS: …..DUTTY BWOY!!!! You wait til I tell Linda!!!

Oh lawwd – Rey Mysterio was gonna go for the 619 and ran into Sister Abigail – BLAOW!!!! Unlucky kid!

YES ROMAN!!!! You refer to Renée Young as ‘Babygirl’?!! YOU DUN KNOW!!

So that’s how it goes down in the streets? Emma-lution is gonna ride with Santino on some comedy sh!t??? Ok this is the time I should make my pudding.. then agin if Santino is fighting Fandango… that can only mean one thing… SUMMER RAE!!! I’d f**k her with her Strictly Come Dance frock on! (shout out to Susanna Reid… I never realised how fine she was until she went on that show!)

Susanna ReidI would tear her pu$$y up for breakfast! PUN INTENDED!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Ok Sheamus & Christian! It’s all about this IRISH & CANADIAN FIST!!!! DESTROY THE FAKE @$$ AMERICANS!

Hmmmm interesting… Antonio Cesaro claims that he will be the next Undisputed champion and Swagger gave Cesaro a dirty look… yo I pointed that sh!t out first Michael Cole!

The crowd chanting We The People – unless you supporting Cesaro get out of my f**!ng face…

Loving this! Cesaro dropping them bows to Sheamus and the Great White is like – COME ON MUTHAF***A BRING IT!!!

OH SNAP! My stream froze as I type this! Serves my right for watching Raw illegally! What a good thing it wasn’t the Elimination Chamber!!!

…and now my stream comes back on, who do I see? Dolph muthaf***!n battybwoy. I hope my dude Bertie brukks up his arm!!! Right – to the kitchen! Make that pudding!

Grant & LeannaOk I’m back. now back to our regular scheduled programme… who’s the next Hall Of Famer??? We gonna find out – LET’S GO!

Oh snap!!! Did I miss Batista Powerbomb Bertie’s clart through the announce table???!!! F**k you Ziggler for making me miss that sh!t!!!

BACKSIDE!!! LITA IN THE HALL OF FAME!!!!! BIG UP!!! IT WAS WORTH IT! YOU MAKE EDGE PUT IT IN!!!! YOU TURNED AGAINST MATT HARDY AND IT WAS FOR THE GREATER GOOD!

LitaLita HOF

What I wanna know is – why would the New Age Outlaws wanna spike Betty White’s drink??? What are they tryna accomplish? Answers on a postcard please – @MZATheInfamous!!!

Hmmm… The Uso brudda vs Rybaxel… do you think they will let Rybaxel win on the anniversary of Mr Perfect’s return to the essence?

What’s wrong Billy Gunn? You don’t look too well!!!

OH SNAP!!!! Curtis Axel lost!!! But it was the way it happened! The Uso brudda flew over the top rope, tagged his bredrin in mid-air!!!! F**k!n awesome!

Oh dear! I think Billy Gunn’s stomach hurts!!!! If I was the WWE locker room, I wouldn’t go in the bathroom, for about 35-45 minutes! Somebody open the window!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WWE announced their theme tune for Elimination Chamber: Nero – Doomsday. F**k that – it’s good but THIS is the STC official theme tune for Elimination Chamber! Shout out to STC’s Bossman – Jamie Maverick Shields!

Well Ambrose wanted an open challenge for his US title.. look who stepped through!!! THE DON!!! MARK HENRY! AMBROSE YUH GOOSE COOK! and Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins stirring the dutchpot like they making Saturday soup!

Oh dear! Ambrose get himself disqualified! I mean Mark Henry was fighting them off with his bad arm but then Roman Reigns with the spear – BLAOW!!!

Next thing you know the Wyatt man dem appear! Looks like a stare down on the chessboard!!!! F**k that – this is the official tune for this particular match!

WTF is Wiz Khalifa doing at WWE with his funny looking self? Foolish individual!

Shout out to Bobo Brazil!!!! Now we know that he did teach Rocky Johnson how to put Boots 2 Asses!!!!

DAYUUUUUM 6 Diva tag team jump off! Cameron and the Bella Twins! AJ, Aksana and Alicia Fox!!! GO LADIES!!!

I wanna take this time to say happy birthday to a true cougar in wrestling – LISA MARIE VARON a.k.a. Victoria/Tara!!! SHE JUST DON’T KNOW!!! She needs some young meat! I bet she can suck good cocky!!! It’s only strong ruff neck ninjas that can handle her! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!

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Victoria DOES NOT wanna meet me word up! She would feel the wrath of my anaconda literally!

OH SNAP!!! Cameron picks up the win over Aksana with her super move – Girl-Bye! You know what that is – revenge for what Aksana did to Naomi last week when she took out her eye! GWARN GIRL!

Don’t you think that russian chick reminds you of Drago’s missus in Rocky IV back in the day? She’d get it too!

Wait a minute – I thought my hero Kane wasn’t here???? OH SNAP! Daniel Bryan has snapped!!! Kicking my hero Kane all over the ring! Why have I got this feeling that this is how Daniel Bryan DOESN’T win the chamber? Yeah I said it… go on IWC get upset like you usually do, you see I don’t take this wrestling sh!t as serious as you do, I take it make joke. The minute you start getting serious about pro wrestling as a fan – YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.

…and I don’t know why you’re b!tching for – I’m sure Triple H and The Rock faced each other more times than Randall and Johnny!

INFAMOUS TWITTER AMUSEMENT:

John Cena ‏@JohnCena 10h

Ok self, body is beat to hell, everything feels like slow motion, big night tonight. Focus up, begin to move, find a way #nevergiveup

THE GRANT SAYS: I don’t know how you see it, but was that a dart thrown at your saviour CM Punk??? So many stories surrounding his ‘departure’… including Punk’s body ‘beat up’….

Haha Cena did you seriously think that Randall was gonna fall for your 5 moves of doom??? You faced each other so many times! STEP YO GAME UP! YOU ARE FIGHTING IN FRONT OF THE WRESTLEMANIA SIGN!

MEANWHILE IN CHICAGO…Punk Midas drink

Don’t think I didn’t see you IWC jabronies making a big deal about this and whose drink it was… THE GRANT SAYS, unless Mr Brooks is standing next to me and knocking that drink back and he got me to record that sh!t and put it on YouTube… then simply put you guys need to SHUT THE F**K UP!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Me garne ah mi bed, and gonna have dirty filthy dreams about Victoria… dreams of f**k!n a WWE b!tch, I’m playin.. I’m jussayin…!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Jobber Blogger #90 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 6/2/14

Jobber Blogger logo2Last week’s show from Glasgow got praise and negativity at the same time. This most likely because of a good crowd, a different look and I’m sure the debut of MVP played a part also. However looking back on it, nothing very exciting happened. Just your normal run of the mill matches and no great excitement on the Card front.

The same can be said for this week’s show, though the Ratings perked in the US in comparison to last week. Though this again will probably be spiked with the debut of MVP.

I can’t quite seem to find where I stand on all of these happenings. I believe CM Punk leaving the WWE is a work, it makes sense. If it’s not a work, then he comes across as a douche really, let’s be honest. Nor do I think his “Star Power” with the most deserving of quotation marks is really anything to go crazy over in the first place. Which of course leads to Sting. Things certainly look as if this time after many years, Sting is actually going to the WWE. Then there’s more information coming out from Jeff Jarrett and Toby Keith’s plan to buy TNA and instead just decided to make their own company… perhaps. I really don’t know what to believe anymore. And if these are a work… then they’re working.

I recently watched the AJ Styles – Shoot Interview “Leaving an Impact”. Though the trailers / previews certainly edited it in a way that seems rather more shocking, in actuality it’s very tame. AJ is nothing but supportive of TNA, and has the door open. Though you can make arguments for TNA offering him a lower contract, but they did eventually offer him what he asked for, and he rejected. But AJ said he wants to work the Indies again, and what other chance will he have to do so. I expect AJ will be back in TNA some point this year. I don’t buy this isn’t in some way planned.

But hey, that’s the beauty of Wrestling, and for years and years people knew what was going to happen, and for the best part, we still do. Thanks to the Dirt Sheets and certain predictability areas, but for these topics, we just don’t know. And that’s a good thing! Impact Wrestling LogoTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 6/2/14

I guess, part of me isn’t excited watching TNA anymore. I enjoy it, sure, but I’m not getting that feeling where you witness something that makes you excited! That makes you go on YouTube and find that certain Entrance theme for that certain Star and listen to it on Repeat and have the sudden urge to buy merchandise. Not had that since AJ had his Return Match at Slammiversary last year.

Abyss vs. Eric Young – Monsters Ball

I did state that nothing was quite as exciting, but I can’t tell you how refreshing it was to start Impact without Promo’s. Without Dixie. Instead it’s EY and Abyss attacking each other in the back and the Match picks up from there. A creative and needed change to the format. Despite the fact we all know that next week, it’s all about Dixie starting the show most likely.

I am still confused on this front, Abyss didn’t seem to turn up for a long time. Then he did twice randomly. Then only when Park saw his own blood for a small amount of time. Now he’s Abyss all the time for no reason and blood isn’t involved. I don’t get it. Do I need to get it?

To be honest, yes. If you’re going to put effort into developing something, least stick to it, or make it work. Tie up the loose ends, have it make sense. Give more development. The first Monsters Ball did nothing to get Park to realise he was Abyss.

It is awesome having Abyss on Impact though, he is one of those guys you associate with TNA, his look and character is phenomenal and sorely missed.

The match though was as you would expect, rather tame when compared to others, but with enough meaty high spots to make you enjoy it! Thumbtacks made their appearance, though EY flipped over the Monster from the Second Rope and Power-Bombed him to the Canvas. Abyss punched EY whilst he was perched on the top rope which sent him flying off Through a Table set up on the floor.

The ending came when Abyss removed Janice, a Cricket Bat variation, clearly not getting the original through Customs. EY then after numerous attempts Unmasked the Monster, which led him to violently Blackhole Slam EY and take the win.

Abyss then looked at himself in a small broken bit of a mirror. I actually like the ending, though not sure where it’s going to lead. Obviously I don’t want him to lose the mask, it makes his character. But will be interesting. EY did a post match Interview backstage and said his goal was to unmask him, but has no idea what happens next.

MVP made his way to the ring, which officially marks his true Debut with TNA. I do find it funny that people always moan about TNA bringing in stars from other companies, but yet everyone is behind MVP’s character as an investor, despite the fact he’s just yet another made star from a different promotion.

I knew of MVP, watched a fair number of his matches, but he was never someone I got behind. However, he did impress me on this show. His mic skills are very good, he has a great confidence and charismatic approach whilst confronting the audience and other stars. His confidence in turn sells the angle, so it’s all good.

The flimsy story is a little… flimsy? He had a lot of money saved up, saw what Dixie had done to TNA and therefore he invested his savings to get himself in TNA to change it. No one in his position would do that. Especially considering how outspoken he used to be about going to TNA. But alas, Dixie’s recent actions, must be met with Consequences, and MVP is all about bringing about that Change.

Part of me is now a little tired of seeing this “Power Struggle” as the main and only storyline to determine TNA in over four years. Hogan and Bischoff take over, Sting as the GM, Dixie out of control, Dixie back in Control, Hogan as GM, Aces and Eights threaten Power, Dixie goes crazy takes control, MVP is now in to change that. Can’t we just do something new. All it says to me is that they’ve tried something and it didn’t work, so they try something else by blaming the one in charge at the time. I think it is clever that they’ve placed all of the bad decisions on Dixie’s head and she’s carrying that weight as a Heel. So it would be great to see TNA rise up. But I doubt it’s going to do anything or amount to anything. I really hope it does. But how many times have we hoped now?

Spud made his way to the ring to tell MVP that Dixie would like a meeting with him, and MVP then made a match between Magnus and Kurt Angle.

Curry Man danced with Christopher Daniels styled ass to the Ring (it’s a legit thing)

danielsWhat did you think the Picture would be?

After he finished Dancing, Bully Ray wheeled the Coffin out, stood in the ring, booted Curry Man in the face, delivered an impressive but scary looking Pile-Driver and threw him in the Coffin then left.

So I don’t know if I was supposed to believe Curry Man is in a match, or if he was supposed to be fighting Bully Ray, but it looked as if Curry Man danced his way to the ring purposely to be placed in a Coffin.

Though I did realise that Bully Ray and Curry Man have similarly pronounced names. Bully Man or Curry Ray, could be a good Team idea.

In a string of “walk to the rings” Austin Aries was next up, who of course received a huge reaction (because he’s awesome and TNR’s / Jobber Blogger’s two time reigning Wrestler of the Year). Aries decided to take this time to talk about Option C and how he intends to do it once more this year!

That’s when the Bromans came out and Bro’d their way down the Ramp, and I was actually pleasantly surprised by the next part, as I couldn’t piece together why they had turned up.

Zema Ion attacked Aries from behind with his X-Division Briefcase, then hit Aries over the head with it, covered him, but only got a Two-Count.

Zema looked good though, and then went on to miss his impressive looking Corkscrew from the Top Rope and Aries then dropped him with a Knee Breaker, threw him backwards over his head, Corner Drop Kicked the hell out of him and then finished him off with the Brain Buster to retain his Championship.

Awesome!

I am glad TNA lifted the “Money in the Bank” Concept, it’s a good idea. And the Feast or Fired stipulation adds extra coolness to the concept.

Trying to Write this down really shows you how much “stuff” was in this show, and not enough Wrestling. Though something that pleased my rant from last week was in the show, where Christy Hemme had a talk with Sam Shaw about his weird Shrine Room (with the same pictures multiple times I might add). Christy saw the segment, and decided it’s creepy and only wants their “relationship” to be professional. Which is kind of ironic, given that a Camera Man was stood in his secret room.

I think it would have been better if Shaw went into the Room and the Camera Man tried to get a sneak peak, leading to Shaw beating him down violently. Or if the Camera Man sent like a lighting dude with his Smart Phone to sneak into the room, and then proceeded to get beaten down violently when Shaw caught him. But whatever.

The stupid part is that Christy must have seen his Violent Drawings, threatening the Waiter, Beating up that guy backstage (who was on this show and fine). You know, and that didn’t bother her about this weird guy she liked… but the shrine put her off.

Kurt Angle vs. Magnus

The first booking from MVP, and it’s designed to get Angle out of the ring. He’s supposed to be pretty banged up and not happy currently. Though to be fair, he wants to leave TNA, so screw him.

There wasn’t really a match here, they just did a few moves, Angle caught Magnus in the Ankle Lock then EC3 turned up and attacked him.

EC3 then went to town on Angle’s knee with a Chair, and submission locks, leaving Angle to be carried out on a Stretcher.

Though apparently Angle does a run in next week or something, so the whole idea was for nothing, as it’s supposed to get Kurt out of Wrestling to heal up. Given the length EC3 went to, to sell Kurt’s injury / absence, I would have to agree him showing up again seems a little stupid.

In what was probably the best and easily the funniest part of Impact this week. Chris Sabin had set up this backstage “date” room thing where apparently he and Velvet shared their first kiss some years ago.

Velvet eventually turned up, and a little unsure why the Camera crew were filming. Sabin told her about last week was a turning point for him, and how he sees what he did wrong, and now a Veil has been lifted.

He gets down on one knee and removes a Ring Box presenting it to Velvet, asking her “Will you?”. A teary eyed Velvet opened the box to find it empty, and Sabin continued “Will you just get the hell out of my life!?”

We all knew it was coming, but it was still rather hilarious.

Though Sabin challenged Velvet to a match next week, so… that will be weird.

Bobby Roode vs. Samoa Joe – Number One Contendership – World Heavyweight Title Shot

So this marks the Second match on the card, adding in a possible two others. One which was short and just to sell a run-in from EC3. The other short, but awesome spontaneous title defence.

Earlier in the night Bobby brought a Contract for he and Magnus at Lockdown for the World Championship to Dixie, but given Joe’s recent Number One Contender win, and MVP turning up, she couldn’t commit. Instead, she made this match between he and Joe.

It is a little annoying how winning anything now, actually doesn’t mean you earn what you won. Like Gunner with his Briefcase which he keeps having to defend. And Joe with his Number One Contender Win.

I am glad Joe is back on a Rampage, though I feel he’s not quite found his “Spark” back as he once had it. Roode on the other hand is pure awesome.

Least Impact had a great Main Event, though I made little notes on what happened during the match, I would encourage all to watch it. It’s not “put a star next to it Match of the Year contender” but it was still a great match.

Joe dropped Roode with the Muscle Buster and then got a Submission Victory with his Choke Hold keeping his position as the Number One Contender.

It does bother me though that Roode is looked at as a Looser now. Dixie even said “It’s not like you won your last match!” with regard to Roode being in the Main Event. And that annoys me because he lost to Kurt Angle in a Cage Match (with a close finish), after having a Winning streak in general, and especially over Kurt Angle for Months and Months. Stupid Heel Face rules and BS.

Impact closed the show with Dixie and MVP having a Summit in the middle of the Ring. Which would perhaps have been better if we didn’t get MVP talking earlier on in the night, followed by Dixie having numerous scenes backstage talking with Spud, to then Dixie and MVP talking backstage about coming out and talking about the future of TNA, in front of the World.

They could have just done it as a Headline to the show “Still to come!” etc.

And like anything TNA usually try and build up, it did nothing. The Future of TNA, which was Dixie blabbing on about Magnus and how people should follow her to Success. Then MVP saying “You are the Problem” and that they Agree to Disagree, he is bringing the Change, and her Running TNA as she wants to, “Is Over!”.

So it’s a good thing to move it forward… but it actually told us nothing… and did nothing. A little empty for a Finish I found, something to grab on to for next week would have been a much more exciting finish.

Still, not a bad show, I hope TNA are moving in a good direction, I really hope AJ, Hardy, Sting, Jarrett actually all play a part in MVP’s Change, but who knows?

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

http://www.thesteelchair.com

htttp://www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

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The Jobber Blogger #89 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 30/1/14

Jobber-Blogger-logo2

The Jobber Blogger

Welcome to the Jobber Blogger #89! The second proper instalment over on TheSteelChair.com and like always I ramble on endlessly about nothing!

Though perhaps nothing isn’t quite at hand here, as TNA embark on yet another (I’m sure to be awesome sell out) UK Tour, the question at hand is this: does it really matter?

I think the short answer is no. Nothing TNA does matters, Wrestling History is going to go on with them or without them, and unfortunately the WWE is always going to the power that controls the History of the Industry. Lots of rumours floating around that Sting is about to Sign a WWE Legends deal, everything from him just being involved with a WCW DVD to the Launch of the WWE Network and their WCW Content. To him being RAW’s General Manager and all kinds of stuff. Now this seems to be the most “official” word yet of Sting and WWE actually coming to terms, I would even go so far as to say that Hogan’s recent TNA departure and WWE involvement would partially be life line between Sting and the WWE also. I guess what I’m getting at, is if Sting goes to the WWE, he will be looked upon for all of his work outside of the WWE… in WCW. The WWE don’t care how many times he’s been TNA Champion, how many years he’s worked for that promotion, they won’t even blink an eye that he’s in the “Hall of Fame”. It just didn’t happen.

That’s the thing that bugs me the most, see I love TNA, that’s well documented, but if Bobby Roode went to the WWE, sure some people would know of his work, but it would never be mentioned. When Booker T went to WWE via the buyout of WCW – he was credited with his Five Time World Heavyweight Championship reign. All of the WCW guys carried their legacy, hell even ECW carried their legacy, and that was a terrible promotion.

But TNA, who had all the right faces, and all the right ingredients, they just don’t affect the WWE, Ric Flair returns with no mention of TNA (aside from his now infamous WWE 2K14 Panel with Foley) when Hogan returns, there will be no mention, when Kurt Angle inevitably returns, he will have just “Been gone” for several years. No one cares.

They’ve even said if AJ Styles were to wind up in the WWE he would be a mid-carder at best despite he carries a huge weight of Wrestling Greatness through-out the industry, to the point where Kurt Angle left the WWE purely to Wrestle Styles. It’s like everything TNA is doing, should they one day go out of business, it was all for nothing.

If they could gather the ratings and pull in higher numbers, WWE would have to pay attention. And one could think that this is the current trend in Wrestling today. Like any Wrestling fan I’m reading and trying to find out what’s going on with the Royal Rumble / Daniel Bryan / Batista and now of course CM Punk. Clearly the Daniel Bryan thing is a work, and it’s clearly working! Batista is just “one of those guys” from an era that wasn’t even that popular. I think he feels he’s a type of Stone Cold / The Rock, but nope, WWE sucked then and it sucks now. I never got on the Batista train, doesn’t appeal to me. And now the Wrestling Audience is smarter than ever, they know guys like Bryan and Punk work hard for their slot on the show, and then they lose it to some muscle bound Hollywood type who can’t Wrestle half as well purely because his name might carry some “cache”. Least he isn’t as insulting as The Rock’s “triumphant return” for those who grew up watching him to suddenly realise that he actually is terrible as a Wrestler.

Now in the same vein, I don’t look as CM Punk as anything special. I like Punk, but let’s not beat it round the bush, Punk got lucky as he was given the opportunity to “mouth off” and that’s what made his Career. Since then, he’s done very little till now. And only now is important because people don’t know if it’s legit or not, I would say it is a Work, but who knows? Even if it’s not he will go back to the WWE, no chance he’ll turn up in TNA, I’d love it if he did come to TNA, I think his look and style suits their product more so. But what would that mean to the Industry? Guess what, nothing. I bet over half of the WWE’s audience don’t even know TNA exists. And those who do, would probably tune in to see Punk, then tune right back out again. Their viewership would increase, but I don’t think it’s a wise investment. Punk would go back to the WWE, he wouldn’t be loyal to TNA, I don’t even think he likes TNA. His first stint there wasn’t very good, so I don’t think he’d be in a rush to go out. People who question if TNA could “afford” him is ridiculous, TNA are stupid with Money and they paid Hogan more than WWE offered him, and he still left. That says it all really.

TNA always struggle to capitalise on what they have, and granted they are smart enough to listen to their fans, but everything they do just ends up being subpar. I hope they do something great, but I just don’t think they will. If these rumours about Sting are true, then I would say that AJ Styles and Jeff Jarrett have officially left the company, and then if that is true, then TNA are in serious trouble.

Anyway, without this turning into a huge rant about why I like TNA, what TNA does wrong and why I don’t like the WWE, let’s just get down to the business at hand!

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 30/1/14

Yes, for the first time ever TNA Impact airs in the UK before the US. And it came straight from Glasgow Scotland, though they did label it as “LIVE!” it wasn’t. But that doesn’t really matter.

What matters is simple, TNA should just get a home over here and film it in the UK because it looks like a force to be reckoned with when they Tape over here, they pack out of the Arena’s (even on the Camera’s side) and they have crazy crowds. Of course I’m not being entirely serious.

Not to mention they did have some Audio problems through-out the broadcast, but least they didn’t Tape it and then Dub the Commentary on top of it, and I hope they don’t do that for the rest of the Taped shows, because it ruined it for me last year.

Magnus kicked off the show and was met with a sea of “Boo’s!” which I was a little surprised by. Though as he did point out, it is Scotland. I would imagine he would be cheered when they get to the UK Shows.

What made me laugh in a type of “ironic” way, is that Magnus and Dixie Carter represent what the Internet have always said TNA should do. As he put it “thinning of the heard / putting the old stars out to pasture to make room for the new”. And yet this was met in a negative light. Though for years everyone’s said that TNA’s downfall is all of these old guys that they bring in for hopes of a Ratings boost, and now look. Hogan and Bischoff have gone, Sting has gone, Nash has gone, Steiner’s gone, Bookers gone, Foley’s gone. Who is left? Angle is going to leave, and I can’t wait to slam the door behind him. You could make a case for Bully and Hardy, but Bully has had his best years in Wrestling in TNA, he isn’t the same guy he used to be, and thank him for being Loyal to them. Same can be said for Hardy, he’s had the best two years of his Career in TNA and he’s in a much better place in his life than he’s ever been before.

So the people get what they want, but they aren’t happy.

Such is life – C’est la vie, Monge tu and Duck a l’orange

EC3 stepped up to get in the face of Magnus when he claimed to “single handily” rid TNA of Styles, Hardy and Sting. The first of a few confrontations between the two. Angle and Joe however crashed the segment and despite Dixie Carter not giving her blessing – it all boiled down to a match – Magnus and EC3 (who Magnus handpicked I might add) vs. Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe – Contracts vs. Number One Contender Shot

I think Spud said it all really

Spud swears

 Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa vs. Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne

Even writing that I wrote Gail Kim and Madison Rayne, subconsciously I combined those two together more so than Velvet and Rayne. Not having the Beautiful People in TNA is a sacrilege. Of course having them in TNA without Angelina Love is a far worse crime. Also nice job on the Video Edits of Velvet and Rayne together (without Angelina).

Madison Rayne suits spoiled little jealous Blonde Girl so much more than she does her current role, just as The Beautiful People suit Heels far better than a Face faction.

Though how could anyone be angry at someone who had a hand in accidently hitting Earl Hebner in the face. Velvet hit her (bad) Bulldog on Gail for a two-count but when Gail kicked out she raised her hand and hit Earl in the fact,… that’s a lol moment.

Gail hits Earl

Madison hit a spear on Gail out of no-where, Velvet finished Gail off with “In Yo Face!” and took the win. Before I go on about how short this match was, I just had a brilliant thought. I Hope and Pray that X-Pac – Sean Waltman wrestlers somewhere in the indies, and does his X-Factor, for someone in the crowd to tell him off for stealing Velvet’s move! If there is a God in Heaven! Please! Let this happen and be on Video! Some child telling him off for stealing a Woman’s move would just be hilarious and the icing on the cake for his so-so career.So yeah, once again the team of the best Female Wrestle in the world, and her huge gigantic powerful scary body guard, were defeated by Wrestlers who can’t Wrestle and let’s face it, Velvet can’t even run the ropes right after all these years. I love them all dearly, but at times it’s just a little too “fake” to be believed.

velvel

Chris Sabin heads to the ring afterward to do the great “Bad Guy” move… but also had me laughing like crazy of “Say you’re sorry now, and we’ll go in the back and you can give me a massage”. Just like the short lived run of Joey Ryan who had the best line when he chose to introduce Matt Morgan rather than Hemme when he told her to go make him a sandwich. Needless to say, Velvet told him that they are over and left.

James Storm and Gunner vs. Bad Influence – Gunners World Title Briefcase on the line

James Storm had the worst segment on the show, though it was made slightly better by some guy in the front row making Animal Noises. He could have been cheering but I haven’t heard anything like that before. Storm called out Gunner to “put an end to this”.

And then we were subjected to this horrible segment where they made Bro-Love with doing things for their families and blah blah blah, and when Gunner was in the Marines, and blah blah blah, and then Scotland fans started chanting USA. And what the hell was happening?

I’m sick and tired of the whole “I did this for my Family!” speech, can’t you just do it for yourself. Am I supposed to think that you’re struggling to pay your pills and put food on your plate. I manage it by working 12 hours a week in a Cinema, I’m fairly sure you’re getting paid a hell of a lot more than me. If you can’t make that work then perhaps you should consider changing your life style. And not buy the most expensive Cheese and 1837 Bottle of Wine for your evening of “fine dining”.

What happened to them just chasing a Career in Wrestling, you want to be a Wrestler, you want to be the best guy, awesome, go out there, win the World Championship and do it for your own damn Career and legacy. I don’t want to watch sad back stories in my Wrestling show about how you can’t buy your children 3 games consoles and then afford to send them to the best School in the country and buy them a Porsche for their Graduation present.

I feel this is going to be a good Ranting episode, just wait till I get to Kurt Angle!

Thankfully Bad Influence got involved and so I bring back the long forgotten but most fabled element of my Blog:

kaz word 7 new

I’m now hoping Storm renames his character – The Monkey Fart James Storm and together with Gunner their Tag-Team name can be – Beard with no Brains. I’m game.So this of course ended in a match – with Gunner once again putting his Briefcase on the line. Funny because when he first decided to do it, Dixie had a issue with it, but then agreed as a way to make him pay for interrupting her. Since then Gunner has been defending it left right and centre.

The idea is that Bad Influence told Gunner he can’t trust James Storm, and much to everyone’s dismay, Storm didn’t do anything untrustworthy.

Gunner was impressive as always and worked with Storm to win – with a top rope Head-butt none the less. Then Storm and Gunner celebrated their victory and left for some more Bro-Loving…. beard style.

Earlier on in the night Kurt and Joe singled out Bobby Roode and threatened him so he wouldn’t get involved in their match with their contracts on the line. This led to Roode giving Dixie Carter an ultimatum. Roode only helped get rid of AJ and Sting for a Title Shot, and Roode demanded it be at Lockdown, and until that is agreed, he won’t be doing anything to help Dixie or Magnus further. Makes sense.

Spud was sent on an errand to find out who this “Investor” is, and do that he called out the Wolves.

Again, Spud stole the show, he got in their faces screaming and claimed to have seen a good bit of American television and tried to interrogate them with his torch. Till he just slapped Davey Richards I believe, and then was dropped by the Wolves and a double team move.

The Wolves had pretty good music, and I do look forward to them being used in the ring (which is coming up soon I believe).

 

 

Abyss and Eric Young vs. The Bromans (w/DJ Zema Ion) – World Tag-Team Championships

I am confused now.

I think there is a piece of this story missing. Park was still Park, even in Monsters Ball, and after Monsters Ball, then last week he showed up as Abyss… there was no “connection”. So is he now just Abyss and Park is no more. Or are we going to find out they are two different people. And why the hell did they stop trying to make sense of it all with Bully Ray.

I also don’t get why they got a Tag-Team Title Match. And I still think EY should go for a Mad Scientist look.

The match looked as if EY was in control of Abyss, till then Abyss just had enough and cleaned house including taking out some British Referee who had his 15 Mins of fame I’m sure.

Abyss then Choke Slammed EY and went crazy. Leading to next week’s Abyss vs. EY – Monsters Ball match, which is supposed to be the final part in EY’s plan.

I don’t really know what I want to happen anymore, probably just get Abyss back, though one would question why someone would chose to do that. And they’ve opened up a lot of good “horror movie” type stories, but then just walked away from them. So as always, they probably won’t capitalise on their potential.

Christy Hemme and Samuel Shaw had another segment, where they were at his house. I’m sure that wasn’t his house, because it looked terrible. Maybe they do get paid really badly and so I should apologise to Gunner. Either way, speaking of things being stupid, Shaw had his hand in the Candle which he didn’t realise. That’s a character trait. And it’s going to come in handy when he fights… flame man?

Still, Shaw then went to his room with a piece of Christy’s hair and put it on this Mannequin Doll he has of her in his Shrine Room.

Do you think somebody ought to tell him she posed for Playboy?

I like segments like these, but it’s where Wrestling crosses over into Television and it doesn’t work. It’s supposed to be as if the Camera men are following these two on their time off. That’s fine, but then why would a Camera man be in his secret closet. It makes no sense. Clearly Christy is capable of watching the show and therefore would have seen all of this anyway. It’s not TV, it’s Reality Entertainment. It’s a strange mix, that just makes you not buy into things, and then it makes even less sense. Like having a Motorcycle Gang without Bikes whose slogan is about Walking… WHAT!!?

 

 

 

 

Bully Ray makes his way to the ring pushing out a Coffin, then went on to talk about all the things he “used to be” and that Anderson took them all from him. The coffin symbolises the burial of The Aces and Eights and everything Bully stood for, so it is fitting that this culminates in a Casket Match. Or “Coffin Match”. Not to be mistaken for the “Coughing Match” which is entirely different.

Anderson and Bully got into another fight, but I am glad to see this type of Match. Sure it’s a silly gimmick match, and part of me wonders if Bully could actually fit in the Coffin he had with him, smart game plan really.

I do wonder where they both go from here, but I look forward to watch it unfold.

Magnus and Ethan Carter the third vs. Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe – Contracts vs. Number One Contendership

Basically, if Angle or Joe lost, they leave TNA. And if Angle or Joe pin either Magnus or EC3 they get a World Championship shot.

The investor added the stipulation that if anyone interferes in the match they will be fired. I still need to buy those shares, buying shares sounds great. I could buy a share in TNA and start demanding things.

Earlier in the night Magnus spoke to EC3 about how he doesn’t like him, and that he has to Team with EC3 and should he lose he must defend his title. Which is sort of silly, as Magnus agreed to the stipulation and also chose EC3 to be his partner.

That aside, I actually love that Magnus is a fighting champion. Sure he has a lot of help, but he’s not running from fights, he’s demanding them. He also isn’t afraid to show that he’s happy to be the face of TNA, but that doesn’t mean he likes who he’s aligned with, but he will do whatever he has to, to further his Career… I respect that. Screw this for my family crap.

The good news is that Samoa Joe made Magnus tap-out. That’s good because I always wish Joe was more old school. He was intimidating to watch when he first showed up in TNA, it was shortly after I finished up with my “Wrestling Training” attempt and I remember thinking “screw getting in the ring with this guy”. Joe was a force, and I felt sorry for his opponents. It wasn’t till I saw him in a Q&A I attended a year later where he seemed like a great guy outside of the ring. The last few years or so, Joe has been a shell of his former self, so I’m glad to see him be the one to get the Title Shot, though I do think Joe will be fired shortly after ala AJ Styles. But if Joe came back full force, undefeated, quick matches, impactful moves and unstoppable, I’m on board for that journey.

The highlight would be Dixie leading Spud to the ring holding hands and Spud keeled over from his attack earlier on in the night. What is more interesting is that Joe stated he and Angle will be staying in TNA for a long, long, time.

Now Angle has always said he would go back to the WWE, but of late he’s been saying “I can’t lie to myself any longer, I want to go back”. Well good riddance. I like Kurt, but if he doesn’t want to stay with TNA, to help build TNA, then leave. His pay check can go toward getting new talent or better invested in something to build the product.

What is more ridiculous is that Kurt now wants to be in the TNA Hall of Fame, asking Dixie to roll out her Chequebook and induct him, and invite the new investor.

So let’s get this straight, Kurt Angle, who has had a great run in TNA, gets arrested for DUI… again, and leaves for rehab. Upon returning he has beef with Bobby Roode who says Angle isn’t Hall of Fame material…. then Angle rejects the Hall of Fame.. proving Roode to be right… but still has a problem with Roode… despite he was right, and Angle showed it.

Angle then says he needs to cement his position within TNA once more, and win the World Championship once more, which to me, says “hey, I screwed up, I made a mistake, I went to rehab, but I’m back to be the best!”. So Angle injures himself and loses countless matches, then barely wins a Cage match against Roode by “falling” and then Joe wins the Tag-Match and gets a World Title Match.. and it’s then that Angle feels he has proven himself to be Hall of Fame Worthy?

Are you kidding me.

Angle hall of fame standards

That was Kurt’s Road to Glory and Journey to the Immortals. He’s happy with a losing streak, a close victory and a win by his Partner. That’s enough for him to want to be in the Hall of Fame? I still don’t get how he beating Roode by falling faster than Roode crawled is “winning the war” after Roode beat him three times in singles competition alone. I would revoke the Offer and tell him to get lost. Speaking of Revoking the offer, Dixie had a fit and shouted for this Investor to turn up. And he did, being MVP. Surprising everyone.  Well least he tried, but everyone was expecting it. And much to my dismay, I actually rather enjoyed it, and I look forward to seeing what happens next week.

Least TNA have learnt from that horrible “August 1 Warning” flop in their face.

So a good show, even if I had a good rant!

I’m sure Storm will turn on Gunner, and I hope to see MVP and the Wolves next week and look forward to more twists and turns in the road.

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

www.thesteelchair.com

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

 

www.striketapandgrapple.com

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Monday Night Raw #1080: February 3, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

I know you hate me, don’t you
I bet you sit and wish my time never came
You probably rather see me die in the game
You probably rather see me die in a plane
Well ya’ll see me up on top of my dough
I get my money sh!t changed…
(Scarface, In Between Us, 2001)

You jabronies act like the world has come to an end! Your saviour walked out on yo’@$$ for YOUR SINS… you can make it like the WWE didn’t book Mr Brooks in the main event of WrestleMania… but the TRUTH is – it is YOU who didn’t support Phil properly, you chant his name, but you don’t lead a straight edge life like I do.. you don’t put your hand in your pocket to support him… you would rather stream the PPV for free then complain afterwards because John Cena kicked out at 2. You claim to be CM Punk followers but you don’t follow his prophecies… That’s like reading the bible but you’re not being fruitful, and multiply!!!! YES, I am the Infamous Informer, Your favourite heel, and it’s YOUR FAULT!!! Don’t blame the WWE on some pass the buck sh!t… it’s YOUR FAULT! All this Best For Business sh!t is JUST THAT – BUSINESS… It’s not BEST FOR YOU!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Life goes on – DEAL WITH IT! RAW #1080! HOL ‘DAT – BLAOW!!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZHere comes Mr 2 Belts! Ladies Favourite Randall TEEF Orton! Didn’t I see the Seahawks wield the WWE Title after they won the Superbowl? I think I did! I gotta find that pic…

And immediately the crowd are chanting for CM Punk!!! Forget it!!!! He’s not coming! He’s sitting in his yard eating yogurt, chocolate bon bons!!! Probably drinking Pepsi and sh!t!

Lawwwd have mercy Stephanie is telling Randall about himself! Is it me or is she and Triple throwing shots at CM Punk subliminally?

Randall is such a biatch that now the authority are actually considering making Danny the face of the company – that is if Danny defeats Randall?

I have a question for you wrestling dorks: Why do you always say that Triple ‘buries’ people? And he uses a shovel? Don’t you realise that he has a HAMMER in his office? He doesn’t use a bloody shovel you PEA – BRAINS!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

6-man jump off!!! The Shield Vs Langston, Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston! I LIKE THIS! LET’S GO!!!

It’s good to see the crowd backing Rey here. That justifies the confusion about the rumble… Rey knows he was only booed because he was #30 and Danny didn’t get a look in.

Is it me or is Roman Reigns busted open after Langston brukk up his clart?!!

OH SNAP!!! So it ain’t just Bray that can talk that cryptic sh!t! Now one of the other bwoy can talk sh!t and whistle??? While the other dude with the buzzard mask don’t say sh!t??? WROOOOY! Gotta say this battle with the Shield Vs The Wyatts is WrestleMania quality! When was the last time you saw the Shield shook in the ring?

CAN I HAVE SOME DECORUM PLEASE!!!! AND SHUDDUP! BECAUSE I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS!!! (RECORD SKIP!!!) Hold on, Jerry Lawler tells Barrett that he may not be around next week? What does he mean by that???? Answers on a postcard please! Tweet me @MZATheInfamous! Don’t be shy!!

Yes I did hear that Christian was back in the hiz-house!!! Come on Christian! for your Canadian brothers! Do it for my Canadian girlfren!!! Don’t let that dyam arse Swagger beat yuh!

Grant & Leanna

YES!!!! Christian GOT HIM!! Hahaha!!! Swagger you sir are WACK!!!! If I was you Zeb Colter I’d kick him out of the States!!! WE THE MUTHAF***!N PEOPLE MUTHAF***A!!!

OH SNAP!!! The steel cage ah come down now???? New Age Outlaws! The Rhodes Brudda! Someone is about to get F**KED UP in that muthaf***a!!! LET’S GO!!

Betty White to be a guest star on Raw next week? I would have asked who in the blue hell she is but Jerry Lawler just told me so it’s all good… The Golden Girls is classic but what about Desperate Housewife? And how come I can’t get that Devious Maids pon my telly??? No secret – I have such a crush on Roselyn Sánchez…. every time I see her something happens to my d!ck…

misc01

JBL asks, who does the crowd chant for? The New Age Outlaws, or the Rhodes Brudda? Since they can’t decide, they opted for chanting CM Punk! How many times have I gotta tell you fans – CM Punk ain’t coming back!!!! Stop chanting his name – he doesn’t give a f**k about you!!! He didn’t get his muthaf***!n Ice Cream bars… now he’s a big baby!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

AAAH – HAAA!!! Mike Cole  hit the jackpot! New Age Outlaws now tag team champions because of the corrupted Triple TEEF!!!!! Best For Business I was told…. well yeah! We like to see these mans because they still got it!

I think that was actually a 3 count right there by Ref Mike Chioda!!! Cody Rhodes got robbed! Cody thinks f**k that – I’m climbing to the top of this muthaf***a, Moonsault on Road Dogg – BLAOW! Then Billy Gunn thought – ah yuh b!tch!!!! Fame-Asser – BLAOW!!!! THAT WAS CRAZY!

LAWWWD HAVE MERCY!!! Zack Ryder dep pon de telly!!!! Oh yeah I heard that Titus O’Neill turned evil against Darren Young… this is the Infamous Informer and I’m your favourite heel and this was what Titus was thinking all along…

W’happen? Zack Ryder lost again? What else is new? Told y’all muthaf***az – Zack Ryder is WACK!!!! He’s been WACK since 19 HOW LONG! GET OVER IT! And y’all still chanting for he who is not in the f**k!n building!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WTF???? WWE Supports BLACK HISTORY MONTH???? Ahmed Johnson where you at rude boy??? What must be going through his head???

While this dance off segment is bound to be dry, let’s talk about Summer Rae… the latest woman to be in the Total Divas series!

Hang on, maybe I should talk about this! Summer Rae dancing… I can feel the fangs in my gums growing! Now we gonna see this Emma-lution woman dance… she cyan’t dance!!! What the hell was that???? Sorry Emma you’re not getting in the bed with the Infamous Informer!!! GET IN THE CHAIR!!! Better yet, take out my majestic member! Put it between your wet lips! And suck!

20130225_642xvariable_NXT-SSpg-template_emma

As much as I love Sheamus, he’s fighting Curtis Axel… this is the part where I put on my chocolate pudding… and you can’t have none! STOP CHANT THE BWOY BLODCLART NAME! GET OFF HIS D!CK! In Punk We Trust? I don’t trust that muthaf***a!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

…AND I SAY YEAAAH!!! I WALK ALONE INSIDE THIS PIT OF DANGER!!! Batista in the hiz-house! Obviously the crowd have Tourette’s because they keep chanting one name… thank god for Bertie who is telling my good fren Batista about how it runs around the wrestling circuit – yes he’s talking for the IWC… but YOU BOO HIM… WHY???? You fans make me sick!!!

Dolph Z!&&l£r gets no time on my blog… with that said: I hope the Wyatt Family f**k him up!!! It’s Black history month – don’t f**k up R-Truth and Xavier Woods!

Uh oh my boy Mark Henry is coming back in effect next week! Brock Lesnar stay the f**k out the arena!!! (like he’s gonna listen to me!)

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! YES! Drop that Sister Abigail on that Pink shirt wearing spaghetti head muthaf***a! Hang on stop – the Shield!!! They are not afraid of the Wyatts! And Bray is laughing! he welcomes the war!!! Yo Triple! Any chance we can extend this feud to WrestleMania? Get some weapons up in there? I dunno, parking lot brawl? New Orleans street fight??? Only that it’s in a real street???

Hold up – now this Yusef dude is in the main roster, who’s the russian chick???? YO! Y’all can keep your beloved CM Punk – THIS IS GREAT! Now my favourite Nubian Naomi is in the ring with Aksana, AJ Lee on commentary – 232 days as champion??? Only 202 days to go AJ! Then you can bugger off with your boyfriend too!

…and going by AJ’s commentary she is dissing my girl Tamina…. I’m telling you these two will fight at WrestleMania and I am backing Tamina all the way!!!

Naomi got whole heap a move, she just revealed her new supermove – a moonsault similar to RVD! I’m telling you this girl is reppin for Black History! I would love for her to win the belt but it’s already destined for AJ vs Tamina at WMXXX… can you feel it???

Now there is a hero to be proud of! Danny Bryan! You know what? I respect the hell out of Phil Brooks but I’m the Infamous Informer, Your favourite Heel and I’m just gonna go ahead and say it….

F**K CM PUNK!!!!!

YEAH I SAID IT!!! GRANT BODY – P!!!

Batista stole Danny’s destiny at the rumble but CM B!tch walks out? I don’t blame him in certain ways but Phil that’s a B!TCH MOVE!

Come on Danny!!! Do this for the Seahawks!!! They respect and honor you!

Seahawks Danny Bryan

And they continue to chant for that b!tch during this match? DISRESPECT!!!! Worst crowd ever!!! HA! HA! HA! Nah I’m playing!

Why don’t you chant for Mark Henry? He’s not here? Chant Kane! Chant Brock! Hell – chant Stone Cold Steve Austin! Chanting for he that does not exist in your building who doesn’t even care about your @$$ – so disrespectful to Randall and Danny! They are putting on a great match and this is what you do?

GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY Danny is f**k!n Randall up with those kicks!!! (I don’t hear you Theaker!!! Your boy Ziggler got f**ked up earlier! Got nuthin to say to me now have ya??!!!)

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Danny’s shoulder is exposed.. now Randall is gonna f**k up that shoulder. Randall does that – Danny cannot execute the Yes Lock effectively… he can do his super dragon kick though!

OH SNAP!!!! Randall lost to Danny! My hero Kane tried to TEEF! maybe Triple sent Kane to bait it up and it backfired!!! UH-OH!!!! But Randall & Kane are not done! CHOKESLAM!!!! BLAOW!!! I thought he was the D.O.O.??? That mean seh he can’t touch nobody! I think Kane wants to be fired!!!! He don’t care about no muthaf***!n suit!

Talking of not caring… nor does CM Punk… look at him, looks like he’s reading a comic… maybe it’s an anime comic… maybe it’s Urotsukidoji!!!!

Punk in his yard

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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