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Smack Talk Centre -Raw – Monday Night Raw #1056: August 19 2013

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What a week in wrestling!!!! HOLY SH!T! Darren Young admits his sexual orientation, Brooke Hogan gets shown the door by TNA, Ric Flair turns up at the WWE2K14 symposium drunk and telling true hollywood stories, and finally Summerslam… Kane gets destroyed and abducted by the Wyatt massive, CM Punk & Brock Lesnar put on a possible contender for match of the year, Natalya wins a match, and is there a reconciliation with Randall & Triple TEEEEEF, and even Vincent Kennedy???

I SEE THE LINE IN THE SAND…. TIME TO FIND OUT…WHO I AM!!! RAW #1056! HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZIn the words of birthday boy Nate Dogg, OH NO!!! The crowd is ruthless! John Cena just announced he’s gotta leave the game for about 4-6 months… hear the crowd – YES! YES! YES! They can’t say that!!!! That’s not the issue though, Daniel Bryan climbed the top of the mountain, only for Triple TEEF to say – BEAT HIM BACK DOWN!!!

Damn you looking fine Stephanie! But hold on – Danielson got the killer line of the night already – “When you sleep with TRASH, you start to STINK!” Steph is trying to deflect these shots as best she can! She is a boxer after all! But eventually Danielson will break those defences…. Steph rates him at a B+, but Danielson wants to call her the B-word!!!! Rewind back to 1997- 2008 and you can call her that and get away with it! unfortunately his lack of emotional content has him thrown out the joint…. Ok Bryan… LET’S GET DIRTY! And I don’t mean Christina Aguilera!!!

I CAN’T GET IN DA CLUB!!!

Blodclart I missed the Sandow Vs Cody Rhodes match due to the live stream f**k!n up… no matter I saw it on Summerslam anyway… if it was a divas match I missed I would be real mad and Ziggler would be real DEAD!!!! JOKE ME A RUN! Everyone knows by now I can’t stand the f***a!

And so the ‘Unleashed’ storyline continues! Heyman is prepared to take CM Punk back because Brock mash him up at Summerslam!! You know when Heyman is on the mic he spits fire…. my stream is really on her premenstrual cycle – damn I missed the rest of that segment! And I ain’t checking on WWE.com unless I really have to… I haven’t got that sort of time right now!

From this point on the resource comes from WWE.com as the live stream failed completely.

Will CM Punk retrieve the leash and put back round his neck???? I can’t see it happening as long as Randall and Bertie are the main champions…

This is the match that put me over the edge… the stream f**ked up, so did the internet for that matter and I find outGRANT - BODY - P that not only my baby mother Layla was on, but AJ, and the Funkadactyls are on in tag team action! 4 of my favourite ladies – this breaks my heart…. they should never fight! What happened to unity in black women? What happened Queen Latifah???

Not only did I miss the lovely ladies, I missed The Shield brukk up Ziggler???? NOOOOOOOOOO!!! WHHYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! What did I do to deserve this? You see that is TRUE JUSTICE! You know why? Because Darren Young confessed about being gay and is comfortable about it, which is good… personally I’m not a fan of homosexuals, but I respect his honesty and integrity, unlike Ziggler who is LYING to his fans and leading them in the wrong direction… that’s why The Shield mash him up!!!

I feel like celebrating like Danielson right now! The Shield, triple powerbomb Ziggler into the canvas – BLAOW!!!! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! Talk sh!t now Ziggler fans!!!! Ok I admit! I paid The Shield handsomely to f**k up Ziggler! LIFE IS GOOD!!!

Oh dear Sin Cara f**ked up his hand or his wrist in his contest with Bertie, you know why that happened? Because you didn’t have your special lights on!!!! I feel sorry for this kid you know why? He doesn’t seem to get a break, no storylines, he’s just thrown out there. No real feud, nuthin… the IWC gives him a hard time… the kids can’t connect with him like they do Rey… yeah that’s right play the violin behind him…

I don’t blame Bertie for reppin for the Latino community… he makes me so proud! Fat Joe, Jennifer Lopez, Eva Longoria, Roselyn Sanchez and especially Big Pun would be proud of him! But what happened to your eye Bertie??? “Oh it’s cool…”

Bertie likes kicking people in their head, so Ricardo went and found a new cat he can rep for… ROB VAN DAM!!! Apart from the All Japan Pro Wrestling joint, have you ever seen anyone use martial arts better than RVD??? (Insert indy wrestler name here) that should be a great contest come Night of Champions! WWE make it happen Bertie Vs RVD!

I thought it would be a matter of time before that racist Zeb would target my black people… COME ON PRIMETIME PLAYERS!!! IT’S ALL ABOUT THIS BLACK FIST! SHOW THE FAKE AMERICANS ALL ABOUT HIGHER LEARNING!

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! Now that Darren Young has had his moment of clarity, thus turning the PTP good, the question remains – what does AW think about all this??? I still say Bring Back AW!!! The sh!t he was talking last year, I think would be appropriate now that the storylines have become edgier!

Oh dear one man ain’t happy about Triple Teef – that’s the 7ft2, 500lbs Big Show… he actually said what happened at Summerslam was straight GARBAGE!!! And he’s liable to punch Triple in his mouth!!!! realising that the Sean Price of WWE is out to punch him thru school buses, Triple sends the Shield to brukk up Big Show…the Hounds of Justice can do what they wanna do… that won’t stop Show I can tell you that!

Have you ever wondered what happens when a moaning, whining IWC keyboard warrior finally takes his fat @$$ off the internet, leaves his house and attends a WWE live show, then proceeds to boo CM Punk??? Sorry Danielson, CM Punk just took the quote of the night!!! Instead of me spelling it out, just press play…

SHUT THE F**K UP – PUT A SOCK IN IT PA, BE QUIET!!!

Well Heyman wanted an apology from Punk! And he sure as hell got it! Punk says he’s sorry he didn’t get to f**k him up! So what does Heyman do? He sends the weakling Curtis Axel after Punk… you know Wolverine ain’t leaving!!! Claws sheaved, LET’S GO!!!

BRING THE MUTHAF***!N RUCKUS!!

Hear Heyman as Axel sets up the steel chair on CM Punk’s leg… “BREAK HIS LEGS!!!” See this is where we need JR… where is the over exaggeration? Where is the passion? Thankfully Wolverine’s healing powers enabled him to get out the way of the impact of Axel’s stomp, and the tables are turned! CM Punk beating down the pu$$ybwoy with the chair! Then picks up Axel, GTS on the steel steps – BLAOW!!!! GAME OVER! So much for your new Heyman Guy! Axel is WACK! His father must have turned his back in his grave give his son!

DAMN YOU WYATT!!! What have you done to Kane!!! DAMN YOU!!!! Leave R-Truth alone!!! I have right on my side… you got all the STC fools following you like sheep… not me!!! If you feel like an enemy… COME AFTER ME!!!!

Can you believe that while the sensible people are chanting for the Usos some dickheads are cheering for 3MB??? If you are one of those people… DON’T CHAT TO ME. You clearly have no sense, and you are probably like that same fatso that booed CM Punk, and then run him down at the airport to get autograph so you can sell that sh!t on ebay… maybe that’s what it is! CM Punk recognized that fat fool!!!! It all comes together now!

I was yawning through that Wade Barrett Vs Miz rubbish… thank god Fandango came down and shut that match down! If it means Summer Rae shaking her sexy legs then I’m all for it!!

“WHAT A MOMENTUS OCCASION!!!” And in the end, Triple saw the light!!! HAHA!!! Ok did Triple Teef snatch the quote of the night? “The coal has now become the diamond…” referring to Randall… was that cryptic to the video I put up at the top of the page??? Look at Vincent Kennedy!!! HIS SUIT DOESN’T MATCH!!! That’s the Vincent Kennedy I like – when his suit don’t match! Now, are we witnessing a new corporation here? Danielson tries to rush the ring, but The Shield beat him down as if to say – where ya go bwoy??!!! But Triple tells them to stop… and invites Danielson into the ring… WRONG ANSWER – RKO – BLAOW!!!!

THE GRANT HAS TWO THINGS TO SAY AND HE SAYS THIS: One, you mean to tell me that after all that, Randall kicked Vincent Kennedy in his head, kicked Shane in his head, kissed up Stephanie in front of Triple, and felt her breast, Triple now supports Randall??? All for the sake of business??? And two, why didn’t the entire locker room rush the ring???? Especially the Big Show?? Quick to talk sh!t backstage but can’t use his Sean Price punch???

…and all because he didn’t get in the chair…

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Smack Talk Centre Raw – Monday Night Raw #1055: August 12 2013

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Monday Night Raw #1055: August 12, 2013!!!

YO! YO! Put your f**k!n fingaz up, muthaf***az! Coz if you don’t give a f**k like we don’t give a f**k PUT YOUR MUTHAF**K!N FINGAZ IN THE AIR!!!

OFFICIAL Smack Talk Centre Summerslam Theme Song: Ja Rule & The Murderers – ‘We Don’t Give a F**K’

This is how it goes down! Once friends now enemies fighting over a leather briefcase! NXT Sistrins now NXT Nemesis team up with their respective men to go at it tag team style! Someone is gonna get BURNT! Can David bring down Goliath? Will the IWC go YES! YES! YES! or NO! NO! NO! and make angry YouTube videos forgetting to wash themself first?

It’s the RAW before SUMMERSLAM!!!! #1055! HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZBefore I go in, I just wanna say that Total divas on E! is THE MOVE! Ssssssssshhhh! Don’t tell the wrestling purists! They will get mad if you watched Total Divas over G1 CLIMAX this past weekend! F**K THAT – IT’S ABOUT A WOMAN’S WORTH! I don’t watch wrestling 24-7 jabroni!!!

I should have known that if Brad Maddox is the referee, something was gonna go down with the Wack Barrett Vs Danielson match…. Danielson missed the YES Kick, Barrett rolls up the kid, and the scrawny Maddox used a fast count!!!! TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF! Look at the sissy Maddox reminding Danielson that he can shut down the main event if Danielson does something rash… I would have f**ked him up same way, because I know Triple would rectify the situation right! GM or no GM, Danielson you should have kicked him down! You think Austin would have thought twice? it would be an instant STUNNER!!!

I wanna big up Cody Rhodes… you know why? He threw that stupid fisher price My First Briefcase in the drink a few weeks ago, and now Sandow get himself a nice sensible leather briefcase! Very good Cody! I still hope Sandow f**ks you up at Summerslam! Don’t expect much praise from me!

Interesting… Cody Rhodes claims that Sandow WILL NOT become the World Heavyweight Champion before he does…. WELL THE GRANT SAYS you might be right… but the moment you’re champion and you just had a gruelling match, who do you think would cash in his cheque against you??? You wanna think about that!

Why is there all this talk about Sandow & Randall cashing their cheque at Summerslam? I can sorta understand in the case of Randall… but let me tell you NOW: They are NOT gonna cash in!!! It’s what everyone expects! F**K THAT! Come check me next week and know that I’m right!

Big ups to Dean Ambrose!!! He just said that if the ghost of André The Giant is not in the Battle Royal then NO ONE STC Summerslam 2013CAN BEAT HIM for the US Title!!!  Now the rest of the Summerslam card is getting put together!

Wack theme song that WWE has chosen…. some bullsh!t @$$ tune by 2Chainz? We don’t do that over here THIS IS THE STC! Cage Amateurs UK! THIS IS HIP HOP! (Just check the tune above, top of the blog!

Yo CM Punk, I asked you before, I’ll ask you again… did you just quote another hip hop quotable? “You come at the King, you best not miss…”???? Sorry readers you don’t follow…. observe…

Big ups to Big E Langston! He said what I’ve said all along…Ziggler needed him to win his matches… Langston didn’t need Ziggler at all! YES! That’s the SISSY you support! Some of you have sons, and you are telling your sons that a wrestler wearing pink brief and whines himself and ‘twerks it’ is OK????? WAKE THE F**K UP MUTHAF***AZ!!!

SHOCK! HORROR!!!! Natalya defeated AJ! No need to go to specsavers – YOU SAW RIGHT!!! Natalya won a match!!! Natalya for women’s champion STRAIGHT AWAY!!!

UH OH!!! Somebody’s in trouble…trrrrouble… TRRROUBLE!!! Brad Maddox must answer to Vincent Kennedy!!! He could be fired right now!!!

Now he wants to be the ref for Cena Vs Danielson at Summerslam????? TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!

GRANT - BODY - P…and just as Vincent Kennedy was about to appoint the Sissy Maddox guest referee, Triple puts a stop to that ONE TIME! Now Triple Teef is the guest referee!!!! Right you unwashed IWC idiots, I hear you saying ‘Overkill’ on the main event, why don’t you shut the f**k up for a minute… Triple claims he’s got everything on lock, I’m not so sure! Last time I check, Triple was the ref for the John Cena Vs CM Punk match two years ago, and what happened? Kevin Nash f**ked it up for CM Punk!!! Just reminding you… IT’S WHAT I DO!!!

That’s it Kane! Out-think the Wyatt massive! I see you rude boy! Using an Undertaker mind game! Disappear out the ring and appear at the other side!!! Drop the FYRE on em!!! the fire is the purification!!! But yo! Bray Wyatt is loving everything!!! This Ring of Fire/Inferno match is gonna be MAAAAAAAAD!!!!

You know what’s even better at Summerslam? 2 Divas matches!!!! Brie Bella and Natalya catch up!!! Natalya gave the b!tch slap last week – Brie turns the other cheek! She’s only doing what was written in the good book! Brie is bringing her girls – Nikki and that troublesome red-head Eva Marie, Natalya bringing my favourite Nubians – Cameron & Naomi! YEAAAH BOYEEEEE! You jabronies hit the bathroom at that time – give me a bucket of fried chicken and a supermalt and I’ll enjoy this sh!t!!! Yeah! I’m not a pro wrestling fan so what!!!! At least not any more!!!

Oh f**kin hell, These so-called Real Americans… time to have a p!$$…. Oh Zeb Coulter SHUT THE F**K UP…

Hold up – did Zeb just wish death on 2.5 so called ethnic minorities??? If you still a Coulter fan I am liable to punch you in your f**k!n mouth.

Ok Usos – don’t let these bigots beat you this time! If they beat you, you have disgraced Rikishi, Haku, Superfly Snuka, Umaga, Tamina, Roman Reigns, The Rock, and most importantly, High Chief Peter Maivia!!!!

YES! YES! YES! YES! I’m feeling like Danielson right now!!! GWARN USOS!!! The stars and legends are proud!!!! IT’S ALL ABOUT THIS SAMOAN FIST!!!!

Now for some serious sh!t…. The Miz got Cena and Danielson on his show, and was told by Danielson to stop his noise before he boxes him in his mouth! Cena spouts the same sh!t, it is real talk what he says though, he deals with critics every day, he knows he hears them (and by that, he means you IWC) go on about his 5 moves of doom and his make a wish stories… but Danielson says he’s in this sh!t for the WRESTLING!! That Cena is a parody of this wrestling sh!t!!! Which weighs out more? Hold up Cena used the dreaded W word – WRESTLING! BACKSIDE!!!! Yo I gotta song for the both of you, but before I do, Cena goes on like he’s beaten everybody…. NEWSFLASH!!! You haven’t beaten Undertaker rude boy! Now for the tune…. It’s a shame, people in the rap game, only in it for the fame extra-large!!!!

Cena is not a WRESTLER? The respect isn’t there? Triple comes out to maintain order? Randall reminds em what he got in his hand? SH!T JUST GOT REAL!

Now let’s have some fun… what the f**k has R-Truth done to his hair???? Has he relaxed his hair or something?

Quote of the night comes from Jerry Lawler – “I bet you wanna dance with Summer Rae, dial 1-800-YOU WISH!!”

Don’t you love that when Fandango gets buss arse, he still can breathe enough to say what his name is? Why does Summer Rae continue to hang around with this sissy?

Ok Battle Royal jump off!!!! The winner, gets to fight Dean Ambrose for the US Title…. in YouTube!!!! Is it worth the hassle? I could back certain guys here but it’s for the US title, I mean big up to Ambrose for putting prestige on it, but it’s like, you dep pon YouTube!

Big up Kofi for using crazy skillz and agility to hold out in the Battle Royal! But those racist bastards had to eliminate him didn’t they? BACKSIDE! Well at least Usain Bolt and Shelly-Ann Fraser Pryce represented in the championships lately! Trust in my hero Mark Henry to eliminate the racist bastards! THAT’S WHAT HE DO!!! RESPECT!

Big ups to RVD for taking Mark Henry out to face Dean Ambrose! It’s a shame we won’t see them fight at the gathering unless someone hooks up YouTube on their iPh- “WELLLLLLL, IT’S THE BIG SHOW!!!” BACKSIDE!!! Just when the Shield was gonna move in on Mark Henry and RVD, Mr Iron Clad contract appears ready to bring the ruckus! Did you see the look on Seth Rollins face??? He was like – OH SH!T!!!! Now I get it!!! RVD fights Ambrose, Mark Henry & Big Show combine their force against the tag team champions. As for the Ryback….sh!t just hasn’t been the same since John Cena called the Ambulance on his @$$!!!

Ok here’s the main event! Yo what happened to Heyman’s ECW music???? Sound bwoy! DJ! Fix up man!

Summerslam MarvelIT’S A TRAP!!! Screamed the IWC and the WWE Universe! Well no sh!t Sherlock!!! Now according to Heyman, it’s up to Punk to play the ‘stupid hero’ and get buss arse, or not turn up at all and be a ‘smart coward’. Thankfully for Punk, he was neither… Wolverine knows about stealth techniques!!!! Disguised as a camera man, took the camera, beat it over Brock’s head with it – BLAOW!!!!! Grabbed a chair, took advantage of the fallen beast – slam it in his back bone – BLAOW!!! Heyman’s legs did run!!! And again, not one scratch pon him face!!!! It’s just like Paul Bearer back in the day – he always got away from getting buss arse by Undertaker after the betrayal and once Undertaker got his hands on Bearer – his goose cook! And soon that will happen to Heyman!

Now earlier in the blog I said that the quote of the night came from Jerry Lawler, well our survey says – NOT REALLY! It came from a random fan and it went a little something like this:

Cena: I’ve beaten HBK, Triple, JBL, The Rock, CM Punk…

Daniel Bryan: You call their names like they are better than me…

Random fan: THEY ARE!!!!

DROP THE BOMB ON EM!!!!!!

ARE YOU READY FOR SUMMERSLAM NOW??? THE BATTLEGROUND IS SET!!! BRING THE MUTHAF**K!N RUCKUS! IF YOU DON’T GIVE A F**K LIKE WE DON’T GIVE A F**K PUT YOUR MUTHAF***!N FINGAZ IN THE AIR!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Smack Talk Centre-Raw Monday Night Raw #1054: August 5, 2013!!!

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Monday Night Raw #1054: August 5, 2013!!!

Let me tell you something about me: I love hip hop, I come from the era where every artist came different, had their Corporate Austinown style and was being ORIGINAL. there was no biting… (what’s this got to do with wrestling) shut up and let me finish…??? Hip Hop is about EXPRESSION. Scratch that – Madonna did a tune called Express Yourself. That’s what Daniel Bryan be doing. EXPRESSING HIMSELF. He loves his beard, his crazy hair, and his wild technical wrestling style. NO ONE wilds out like Danielson, and the McMahons realise this that he is on the edge of being THE MAN of the company. So now they want to give him a makeover, try to mould him and be this corporate dude… THAT AIN’T GONNA WORK!!!! Just like I said last week, look what happened with Austin!!!! My advice to Danielson…. Tell the McMahon dem seh – DO YOU… BECAUSE YOU CAN’T DO ME!!!!

DON’T MAKE DEM CUT YOUR BEARD DANIELSON! RAW #1054! HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZI thought they banned the initial stage fireworks at the start of the show???? Ah forget it – Stephanie McMahon is on! GOD DAYUUUUUM!!!!

Well actually the makeover could have been a lot worse! Danielson comes out sporting a suit, his hair gelled back, and his beard is INTACT!! Maybe a woman’s touch works right??? Stephanie fix him up!!!! And Brie Bella couldn’t do that??? Yo Brie you may need to watch your girlfriend!!!! That goes for you Triple! Watch your wife! You saw what happened with her and Kurt!!!

Wait a minute – here comes Vincent Kennedy!!! And he’s not entirely satisfied!!! He wants the beard shaved off!!!! Vincent Kennedy sends for the barber chair… and tells Danielson – “GET IN THE CHAIR!!!!” I’m gonna be saying that all week!!!!! HA! HA! Did the beard go??? HELL NAWWWWW! Wack Barrett was gonna do the honors but Danielson beat him down and shaved half his beard! Next minute he reveals his new shirt – a dart thrown at Cena here – ‘THE BEARD IS HERE!!!’ at the front, and ‘YES! YES! YES!’ at the back!!! So that’s the rumoured heel turn of Bryan out the window!

Now this is interesting… Christian is already #1 contender for the World Heavyweight Title…but Rob Van Dam beat Bertie! WHOA!!! I smell a triple threat match brewing… but wait there – Ricardo baited up the match for Bertie! He didn’t mean it to go down that way, but Bertie kicked him down! Beat him down! Threw him out the ring! Placed his head between the steel steps and the ring post – ran up and kicked him – BLAOW!!!!!!! Oh lawd Ricardo – HE’S PROBABLY DEAD BY NOW!!!!

Now that Cody Rhodes has turned face, he finally has a voice???? Ok Cody you have given me joke by throwing Sandow’s briefcase in the drink… and you had Sandow crying like a b!tch…. you brought the briefcase back and it’s all mash-up! The contract looks like it was fed to the fishes! Oh dear! How is Sandow gonna cash in his cheque now???? This needs to be addressed at the Board of Directors! But the crowd didn’t look interested at all in the storyline…. DISRESPECT!!!!!

Ok RYBACK! MY HERO MARK HENRY! But the tables are turned! This time Ryback is the villain! Mark Henry is my hero! GET HIM MARK!!!! unfortunately as Henry was battering him, Ryback took foot and run gone…. these two gonna clash again at Summerslam surely! SEND FOR THE STIPULATION! Mark Henry don’t like that count out sh!t…. w’happen Ryback? Your belly full????

While Cena is in the ring talking sh!t, lets talk about the divas for a hot minute… the BellaGRANT - BODY - P Twins, they are up their own arse ain’t they??? They so fine… first I’m saying hi… then I’m waving goodbye…. but did you see Natalya drop that slap in Brie’s face – BLAOW!!!!!! Bwoy they need to get up off the Hamster Wheel!

Oh right – back to Cena… he was talking something about – he’s been 5 moves of dooming jabronies since January and Summerslam will be no different…Randall appears and lets Cena know who got the cheque, and the Shield think this segment was WACK so they thought justice must be served, next minute Danielson runs through… now here I was waiting for Teddy Long to say “Now hold on a minute playas” and announce a 6-man tag… but Brad Maddox has already learnt well!

Hold up – The Wyatt Family are in a match???? WHOA!!! Er Cameron! Naomi! come and seek sanctuary!!!!

Enough of that sh!t – It seems that The Wyatt Family have brought back the true essence of my hero Kane!!!! First PPV for Bray – and he’s fighting Kane in an INFERNO MATCH?????? Hear Michael Cole – “What does he mean by ring of fire??!!!” Michael Cole you get the OFFICIAL DYAM ARSE AWARD!!!!

So that’s why my baby mother turned evil… she wants ATTENTION… Layla baby I always rise at attention!!! I understand though… I’ve been busy lately, yes I am writing for an indy female wrestler, but that’s BUSINESS. I’m still #AllAboutThat with you baby!!!! Don’t get it twisted!

Gotta say AJ & Layla -or should I say Lay-J skipping all over the ring after they beat down Kaitlyn is BRILLIANT!

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While Christian is beating down Heath Slater I just wanna say HAPPY BORN DAY to fellow admin of the Smack Talk Centre and bossman of the BDSIR Network – Mike KNOXXX –  the championship belt KING!!! That’s right – spelt with three X’s because he’s HARDCORE! SALUTE MY NINJA!!!

MIKE KNOXXX CHAMPIONSHIP BELT KING

THE CLAWS ARE OUT! “LET’S GO PUNK!!!!” It’s clobbering time! Time to go Wolverine on Curtis Axel!!!

You know what? As I watch this match, and I see the evil look on Heyman’s face, and Punk hell-bent on destroying his former mentor, I remember the film Unleashed with Jet Li and Bob Hoskins….

…and just as Jet Li gets his hands on Bob Hoskins… HERE COMES THE PAIN!!!! That music hits and IT’S ON!!!! CM Punk & Brock Lesnar! David & Goliath! But this ain’t the bible! This is WWE!!! It looked like Punk was kicking Punk all over the ring, but then he saw Heyman…. NO Punk forget him for now!!! Oh no Brock got him – F5 – BLAOW!!!! Brock nah dun!!! “HURT HIM!!!” says Heyman! Brock with the steel chair – hit Punk in his back – BLAOW! hit him again – BLAOW! hit him again – BLAOW!!!!!! WROOOOOOOOOOY!!!! Big ups to my girl Renée Young who had to interview Heyman and his boys! Hey Renee baby girl! Come and interview me… let’s get to the sex questions!!! Well Brock told Heyman to say something stupid, and maybe he has! Next week – Heyman Vs CM Punk??? that’s gotta be walking into Death Row surely!

Summer Rae DON’T START ME WITH THEM LEGS!!! You gotta n!**@ wilding right now! Hold on – Michael Cole just said that Summer Rae loves Kofi Kingston’s fighting style and his new attire? Kofi…. now’s the time to put that Jafakecan accent on! I swear I would ravish that woman!!! I’d F**K Summer Rae… I LOVE LAYLA!!!

Notice I didn’t mention Fandumbgay? HA!

You know it’s all eyes on the main event at Summerslam, Vincent Kennedy is mad involved in it… I forgot that Triple is out to counter whatever dastardly plan Vincent Kennedy is trying to pull!!!!

Oh no what are these three racist idiots doing out here??? Ok let me go and get a drink…

Hang on – their opponents are the Usos??? BRILLIANT! KILL THEM USOS!!!!

F**K! How the F**K that these so-called Real Americans beat the Usos??? Yo Rikishi you gonna have to get involved in this rude boy! I would so love that!

Yes! that contest between Ziggler and Langston sweet me! You know why? Because Kaitlyn came back to beat down the happy-go-lucky skipping psychopath AJ, everything went haywire, and it enabled Langston to hit Ziggler with the super move – BLAOW!!!! That goes to show that YOUR HERO – THAT PINK PANTY WEARING BATTYBWOY IS TRULY A PU$$Y! He can’t fight by himself! He is weak!!!!! BIG UP LANGSTON!

Ladies and gentlemen… IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT’S TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!! 6-MAN TAG TEAM CONTEST, IN THE WWE, HEAVYWEIGHT DIVISION! ORTON! DANIELSON! CENA! SHIELD! LET’S GO!!!

Ah forget about it – you wanna wrestling match? Check for Ring of Honor… because this became all out RUCKUS! And just when the three top guys of the WWE had the Shield shook, Randall already dun warned Cena & Bryan – I can cash in my cheque ANY TIME.. RKO to both Cena & Bryan – BLAOW!!!! And any time could have meant right there and then… because the voices in his head were saying – ‘CASH IT IN NOW!!!’ But the Shield came back to pick up the pieces! I guess Randall is a patient man!

Now the question is out there in the IWC – has Randall turned evil???? I wouldn’t say so… because he dun warned them what would happen. The crowd didn’t necessarily like what happened out there, but for Randall, it’s going his way and that’s what he wants…. it’s more a slow-ish heel turn if you ask me… but he STILL isn’t cashing the cheque in at Summerslam, I’m standing by my prediction… but either way, it’s a win-win for the Infamous Informer. No point getting worked up and angry about it….. to me it’s just storyline progress… and don’t forget the Triple Teef factor as well…

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.