Tag Archives: Dana Brooke

Monday Night Raw #1319, September 3, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I made it plain the jump… I NEVER CARED ABOUT ALL IN. But I have to give props where props is due. Cody Rhodes – YOU ARE THE MAN OK! I never watched your sh1t… but I heard your sh!t was off the hook. You have a wrestling future my friend. (Well you’re not really my friend… but your wife… I WANNA GET FRIENDLY WITH HER!!!)

GRANT BODY-P!

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SHUT THE F**K UP AND GET IN THE BOX!!!

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RAW 1319! So why didn’t you watch ALL IN Grant? (I was at the GZA concert… Wu-Tang wins over pro wrestling ALL DAY!)

Before I go IN… remind me to pay for my WWE Network y’all… I need to see this… my moms favourite McMahon… just like her husband – she was SO TEEEEEEEEEF but my god I respect her big time… not to mention she sexy as f**k…

Stephanie all business

..and according to @_Aydenn_ on twitter, RAW was awful this week… he just came off watching ALL IN! He has no sympathy from me… or is he right???

Two things – they got Renee Young back on commentary! YES! And Chad Gable is killing the Ascension with suplexes! And not one muthaf***a is chanting SUUU-PLEX – CII-TY! Even Bobby Roode thought that was GLORIOUS! So the fans are the problem!

Alexa Blitch wants to Walk With Elias? So it’s not about Braun Strowman anymore? Urgh – DUTTY GYAL!!!!

Is Alexa really from Columbus Ohio? Irrelevant

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! THANK YOU RONDA ROUSEY! I’m not tryna see Elias and Alexa get it on in the ring! This isn’t pornhub muthaf***a!!!

Hold on a second – Sasha & Bayley are fighting Ember Moon???? did I miss an episode of RAW or something???

Oh I get it – she was teamed with Dana Brooke… no heels/faces over here folks!

Oh no!!! Dana Brooke is through with Titus Worldwide? What did she expect them to do – hit Sasha and Bayley with Steel Chairs?

GRANT BODY-P!

Er… why are Ziggler and Wackintyre attacking the Revival like that? I think I have missed an episode of RAW! None of this is making sense right now!

…Or maybe it DOES! Took out the Revival so that Wackintyre & Ziggler can get the titles! If The B Team win this… COME ON B TEAM!!!!

The one time I put my faith in the B Team, and they lose! Bloody useless!!!!

Are you serious right now? Alexa Blitch using the armbar to Natalya? Come on Natalya  you trained in the family dungeon! Don’t let this b1tch beat you? Don’t let Anvil turn in his grave!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO! F**K! Anvil has seen disgrace in the afterlife! I thought the Hart family knew how to get out of submissions?

Hold on a second – where’s Drake Maverick going? He looks out-of-place with the Authors Of Pain!!! Or is that the idea?

Er – how did the Shield get arrested??? Even they are not above the law! I may have to rewind and come again!

I know Braun Strowman is powerful and Wackinytre is what I say he is – WACK, but Dolph Ziggler just said they are the most powerful force in history???? Er…. boys???? Get out here!!!

Undertaker Kane

Don’t you just love when The Shield come down the stairs the way they do? It’s just brilliant!

OH SNAP!!! Baron Corbin sent the locker room after The Shield! This is not good!

This is like a full-scale – ‘I’M GONNA KILL YOU! YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO!’

Doesn’t justify why they got arrested though… anyway…

I’m not sure if Bobby Lashley wanted to go the comedic route but it made me chuckle, mocking Jinder Mahal like that!

I knew it! That dastardly Kevin Owens! he said it in his promo last week – that he hated how Bobby Lashley took Sami Zayn out the game! Didn’t you fools see that coming? Come on be smarter than that!

I thought Brie Bella had retired! Aaah f**k it – if she wants to wrestle again – why not? It’s up to her! I ain’t complaining!

The Bellas have still got it! That’s one for their Season 3 episode of Total Bellas! – Yep – women’s tag titles are on the way surely!

If you needed any more validation, Braun is officially a heel, riding with Wackintyre and Ziggler, and he just defeated Finn Balor… now he wants to break his back off the steel steps but wait! WOOP WOOP! IT’S THE SOUND OF THE POLICE!!!

One thing that puzzles me – why arrest WWE superstars when bail is pocket change to them?

GRANT BODY-P!

It makes me wonder if Renee Young has fantasies about being in bed with ALL THREE MEMBERS of The Shield! You know women love men in uniform!

OH MY GODDDDDDDD!!! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING! YO YO YO!

HEY – TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF! The Shield just got rushed!!!

Holy smokes – they charged Seth Rollins right into the police van! BLAOW!!! Glass shattered and everything!

Braun threw steel steps after Roman Reigns! OH LAWWWWWD!

I have never seen The Shield get buss arse like this! It took 10 man, three of them being Braun and the Authors of Pain to f**k them up!

NOW… the main event… I see a thumbnail of Shawn Michaels and Undertaker in the ring! I think I need to click this link!!!! LET’S GO IN!

Does Triple Teef have more left in the tank than Undertaker? He probably does!! But he did practically all his career and he STILL couldn’t beat Undertaker!!!!

Fancy that? It took Shawn Michaels half a promo and just like that, the bell tolls! I bet John Cena feels REALLY BAD now doesn’t he?

GRANT BODY-P!

Question – does arena smoke count as pyro??? BAD MAN FI COME!

“How long has it been? 20 years? I have took the best that you had, I have took the best that Triple H had, and I have put you both DOWN!!!”

At that point if I was HBK – I’d leave the ring!!! Well as soon as the bell tolled I would start hauling @$$!

Undertaker is saying is straight – he took HBK’s soul and career! Why do these two wanna continue f**k!n with Undertaker? Their egos won’t accept it! Very much like Machine Gun Kelly going after Eminem right?

GRANT BODY-P!

HBK is a man of integrity! He speaks the truth! I wonder if he’s throwing shots here? because we all thought Undertaker retired at WrestleMania 33… and look what happened there?

HBK said he stayed retired out of respect for the fans! But they are chanting ONE MORE MATCH??!!!! A WHA DE RARSE?

This segment is gripping!!! I am holding on to every word from these two!

“Is it respect? Or is it fear? Because you could easily come out of retirement, and come for one person – ME… and I would put you down all over again!”

I think Undertaker is giving HBK permission to fight again!!! Holy f**k!

Sorry Wardle – you’re trippin… ALL IN got ALL IN your head! AND THAT’S REAL!

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Monday Night Raw #1318, August 27, 2018!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

GUUUUUUUUUUUUUURLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

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Imagine, you wake up in the morning, (we are all guilty of this) before we even stretch our arms and get our yawn on… we reach for our phones and check our Facebook and twitter and instagram… in my case that’s what happened… and the first thing I see is a picture of my ‘wife who got away…’ OHHHHHHHHHH!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1318! I should care what is about to happen but when you find out Streets Of Rage 4 is coming out – caring has gone out the window!

Before I go in with the week’s fun and frolics, I gotta give maximum props to Rhea Ripley… who managed to win a championship, and pose with the title without that dastardly Triple TEEF all up in the photo!

Screenshot_2018-08-27 Smack Talk Centre ( stc_wwe) Twitter

GRANT BODY-P!

Now… didn’t I watch The B-Team Vs The Revival last week??? I’m sure I did! I’m not watching that sh!t again…

Aaaah sheeeeeet they got WWE legends predicting who gonna win between the best that ever did it (Undertaker) and the best TEEF who ever did it (Triple H…) I mean this was my dream match that already happened at WrestleMania 28….I want to say I’m not bothered anymore BUT THIS IS THE UNDERTAKER we are talking about here!

Jeff Jarrett says the Undertaker! GOOD LAD!

Kevin Nash says Undertaker!!! Yep – Undertaker pretty much ran him to WCW!

GRANT BODY-P!

Christian has a point… Triple has NEVER beaten the don of dons! Not in big match situations anyway!

Mick Foley knows his role! He learnt his lesson after making Paul Bearer work for him, trying to bury Undertaker alive, all that sh!t!

Ric Flair says UNDERTAKER! Oh dear – not many have faith in Triple!

DDP says The Undertaker! Yep – DDP stalked Sara, he learned his lesson! He ain’t tryna go after Michelle McCool, even after his Yoga training!

GRANT BODY-P!

Booker-T says The Undertaker!!! He learned his lesson too in 2004!

Big Show says Undertaker! Damn Triple!!! It’s because Triple cannot win without using the hammer! He used the hammer on Taker before and STILL lost!

Uh Oh, Stone Cold Steve Austin is talking…he knows his wrestling sh!t more than most! He says Triple H will win! I’d love to know how I can say that much!

Even the Infamous Informer, who is an Undertaker fan to the core, thinks Triple will win and here’s why.

Undertaker has nothing to lose. His streak is not on the line, it’s not WrestleMania. It’s not a young cat, like Roman Reigns. Undertaker has beaten him every time in big match situations. Even my dream match has already happened. If Undertaker was to win again, don’t get me wrong I would be over the moon. But this is eating away at Triple Teef like it did The Rock when it came to defeating Stone Cold Steve Austin at WrestleMania. Triple wants to be the one who can say ‘I beat Sting AND the Undertaker, the two most loyal superstars in their respective companies-errrrrr!!!’

Meanwhile… Braun Strowman is giving his Money In the Bank briefcase away? SERIOUSLY??? Ok this is new….

There he is! Seth Rollins! Where’s this ‘heel status’ with the Shield you wrestling internerds were talking about? YOU F**K!N HEEDIAT!

GRANT BODY-P!

Kevin Owens answers the challenge! Remember when he answered John Cena’s challenge a few years ago? Holy smokes that was epic!

Kevin Owens truly believes if his bredrin Sami Zayn was around he would be the Universal Champion! Did you see when the camera cut to the one dude in audience? He was REALLY into that sh!t! Probably hates Roman Reigns and gets no pu$$y…

I forgot – they are in bizarro land! So Kevin Owens gonna get cheered all the way through this!

The camera cut to that same dude again! SIT YOUR SKINNY @$$ DOWN!

That’s what you get for supporting Kevin Owens – just like that – he just shut you down by preferring Montreal Quebec than Toronto!

You d!ckheads still chanting ‘Fight Owens Fight’…. REEEE-TAAARRRD!

HOLD UP – Owens hit the Stunner!!!! I bet Austin dropped his beers right there!

You gotta send for the pedigree now Rollins! That was outta orda!

Pat Patterson is watching this match! That’s what Mike Cole just said! If I was either Owens or Seth… don’t let the camera show your behind!

GRANT BODY-P!

Aaaah sheeeeet! Did you see how quick Kevin Owens executed the moonsault – and MISSED? Holy smokes – this is a great match!

Rollins was able to retain! But HOLY SMOKES! Did Kevin Owens just do a ‘CM P**k’? Or a ‘Batista’???? He rage quit the game like that? I know nuff guys like him who rage quit on me because my M.Bison on Street Fighter V was too much for them!

WHOA!!! GOD DAYUUUUUUUUUM! Is it me, or does Trish Stratus look EVEN BETTER NOW than she did 15 years ago?

Natalya doesn’t look amused… and Ronda Rousey looks like she wants to buss up Alexa again!

How the f**k is Alexa gonna diss these three? She just called Trish ‘irrelevant’! Oh my days my blood is boiling… I’m gonna have to call my sisters again…Grant reloaded

You really think that if I was Ronda/Natalya/Trish – I would stand there and let this ugly rarse talk to me like that? This b!tch talks too much!

Alexa is sending for her rematch clause at the Hell In A Cell! Good for her! Now Ronda can f**k her up again!

Oh no! Alexa and Alicia sent for Mickie James! She’s gonna fall in lust with Trish again! That’s not a bad thing… THAT’S A GOOD THING!

While Alicia and Natalya are fighting, Mike Cole and Coach just told us of the possibility that if Alexa was able to defeat Ronda Rousey, Alexa could walk in to Evolution as the champion and face Trish, and Trish could walk out the women’s champion! WHOA!!!! Trish looks like she has another run left in her!

Natalya won that with flying colours! Mickie and Alexa didn’t like that sh!t!

It might be TV time… but this is foolishness! Bobby Lashley f**ked up the Ascension like it was nothing! Honestly I feel for both parties… Lashley seems to be going further away from the main event picture while The Ascension may never taste tag team gold… sad state of affairs!

I gotta say this might be Dana Brooke’s best performance in a while! Anyone would think the Evolution sign was hung up and the women point to the sign!

GRANT BODY-P!

She still lost to Sasha but… still!

Why is this match between Finn Balor & Baron Corbin still happening? I wasn’t gonna write about this sh!t but Toronto say Corbin can’t wrestle!

Wait a minute! The Bella Twins? They can’t be here???? They are so eggs up!!!!

(for those who don’t understand the Jamaican terminology – ‘eggs up’ roughly means ‘over friendly for personal gain’… like – why are they there celebrating Ronda’s success like there was a connection to begin with?)

The Bellas are back in action next week! WHOA! There must be an imaginary Evolution sign hung up in the arena!

I hate Selfies!! but if it looks like this – who am I to complain?

Ronda Natalya Trish Bella

I don’t know who loves the fact Ambrose now fights without his vest – the women or the men?

GRANT BODY-P!

Aaaah snap! Double R is coming through with his mic skills! he will never be the best but hey, if you don’t give props where it’s due – YOU’RE THE PROBLEM!

“Running around talking about ‘Get These Hands’, sure, you use them to pick up cars, ambulances, stages, but my hands pick up championships…” GUNSHOT!

Braun is talking as if they are going to Hell In A Cell! Not enough hatred there for me but the rivalry is there!

Oh snap! Elias is dissing Drake! When somebody like Elias has to diss Drake – YOU KNOW DRAKE IS NOT WELCOME ON RePPiN4U HIP HOP SHOW!

Wait a minute – Trish??? I don’t understand this!

Hold on a second – Trish just used Elias catchphrases against him! She just told him to hold his applause! He probably wants to hold the boner he got in his jeans right now!

GRANT BODY-P!

Elias continues to run down Toronto about not seeing the Stanley Cup… Trish counters ‘Kinda like you not winning the WWE Championship!’

Elias is hoping for a swimsuit model pillow fight! Er Elias… the attitude/ruthless aggression era is THAT WAY!!

“I don’t date women in their 60’s…” If Trish looks like that at 60 – I’d be willing to take that risk!

OH SHEEEEEEEEEEEET!!! WHAT A RIGHT HAND FROM TRISH!!! BLAOW!!!

Then… in the tag team contest between Braun & Roman Vs Wackityre and Ziggler… Roman tagged in Braun…Braun stands up there and looks at Ziggler and Wackintyre coldly… but SWITCH! He utters those horrific words – I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!! And JUST. LIKE. THAT. He f**ked up The Shield with the aid of Ziggler and Wackityre!

THERE’S YOUR HEEL TURN MUTHAF***AZ!!!!

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Monday Night Raw #1291, February 19, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

WE want the brand extension!

WE want fewer pay per views!

WE want Cesaro to be champion!

Combined WWE PPV

Too bad you can’t have it all eh?

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1291! Chamber Music, F**k!n the party up!

I don’t know about you but this Hardy Vs Wyatt thing – it needs a little extra something… yes they have clashed, yes they have both chatted sh!t… it needs to go to that next level for me to be re-invested… whatever Matt was doing in the TNA joint – bring that sh!t here and make it 10x better!

“What is so special about Ronda Rousey is – she’s an attraction…” In more ways than one eh Charlotte?!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Aaah sheeeeeeet they showing footage of Ronda practicing her wrestling moves! UH-OH!!! This ain’t no Eva Marie folks!

Black Panther fever hits Titus Worldwide! Even Dana Brooke is doing it – (not properly she got a clipboard in her hand) But if they lose to the Bar, they will bring disgrace to Wakanda!!!

Titus Panther

YES!!!! WAKANDA FOREVER!!!! Apollo Crews was like – I AM T’CHALLA! SON OF T’CHAKA!!! Dana Brooke must have gave them some of that Vagin—- er I mean Vibranium! (still doesn’t sound right does it?)

Come on Nia you’re dealing with Asuka here! Asuka knows the way of the ninja and stealth attacks – YOU DON’T!

Mike Cole is talking about ‘friends’ and alliances that may occur in the Chamber… it’s still every woman for herself Cole! And it looks like Dana Brooke could well be dissed for real! I would say to Dana – walk out the joint – but maybe… she and Titus Worldwide should try Smackdown first before doing that…

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HOLY SMOKES!!! Seth Rollins has done a ‘Chris Jericho’! By that I mean he beat the two top guys in the same night! In this case Double R & John Cena! Oh man! The IWC must be reaching fever pitch!!!

What a performance by Seth Rollins! Dude has lasted over an hour in the gauntlet match thus far! But there was no way he could outlast three guys, with two of them being Double R & Cena… Elias COME CROSS!

Next opponent – Finn Balor… and true say Elias was still mash up with his ribs, one coup de grace on them and it’s curtains for the man with the guitar!

Typical Miz has to be so dyam teef! Double R, Seth, Elias, and Balor use real skills – Not the Miz… he has to brfing his pu$$yclaat friends with him and attack Balor from behind…

…but if I was Balor, I’d let The Miz beat me and let me see the lights for the three because the winner has to fight…….BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!

“If you excuse me Charly, I have some unfinished business to attend to…” The Miztourage heard Braun say that and they was like – OH SH!T! we gotta leave the ring NOW!!!

Miz tried to get away, but Braun ketch him!!! The Grant Says – If Braun was in the police force, there is NO WAY you are out running him!

Running powerslam into the canvas – BLAOW!!!!

Chamber music, f**k!n the party up! That’s what Braun does!!!

 

 

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Monday Night Raw #1284, January 1, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

The rock JKJ

The joke is, the same muthaf***az who type that sh!t always end up having another bad year!!!!

YOU JEREMY KYLE JABRONI MUTHAF***AZ F**KOUTTAHERE!

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RAW 1284! IT’S A NEW YEAR YES IT IS!!!

Steph Raw

I hope the first segment is missable because I need a #2!!! Highly unlikely… it’s 2018 MUTHAF***A!

WHOA!!! Alexa Bliss Vs Asuka for the women’s championship? Oh wait… it isn’t… YET!!!

John Cena has put his name down in the Royal Rumble! Imagine if he wins… oh my days… the mass complaining on the internet!

30 entrants for the women too! You KNOW there’s gonna be surprises galore in that Royal Rumble!!!!

So they changed up Jason Jordan’s music and put lyrics on the muthaf***a!

Jason Jordan and Cesaro gonna clash! Yep – no disrespect – it will be a great contest but when you gotta go – YOU GOTTA GO!

Crowd chanting ‘Daddy’s Boy’! First time I heard that chant! (I didn’t watch wrestling at Christmas time because I thought it was disrespect to the superstars! Well at least they got paid…)

GRANT BODY-P!

Mike Cole said two weeks ago… Jason Jordan is rocking with the best but soon he has to start winning… and now Jason Jordan is doing just that – he beat internet darling Cesaro! Not sure how the IWC will handle that!

So they made Dana Brooke look like a more voluptuous Lana? I can ride to that!

Safe to say whoever loses out of this Bray Wyatt/Apollo Crews match is a b!tch… I expect Matt Hardy to appear on the titan tron and start his sh!t again!

I thought Bray Wyatt wanted a piece of Dana Brooke! Her distraction didn’t work! Sister Abigail to Crews – BLAOW!!! Sorry Dana you’re not quite Lana!!!

Wyatt is still gonna get deleted!!!! OH NO!!!

WHOA!!! Alexa tried to force Nia to choose her or Enzo! That didn’t work out too well! Just get in the ring with Asuka and shuddup!

Asuka be throwing Shaolin Kung Fu techniques at Alexa! Alexa’s Harley Quinn fist is powerless!

Why do these b!tches think slapping Asuka in the face was a good idea? It usually means curtains for them!

Asuka is a clever chick! Not only is she in the Rumbles, but she also beat Alexa Bliss! This means even if Asuka doesn’t win the rumble, she is STILL the #1 contender for the title! GENIUS!

Bwoy Renee Young sexy @$$ has to stay professional interviewing Samoa Joe… the dude who ‘injured’ Deano – and went on to say he has to stay at home living off his wife’s paycheck! OH SHEEEEEEEEEEET!!!! GUNSHOT!!!

Brock Lesnar doesn’t give a f**k if Heath Slater has kids…. and by the sounds of things – neither does Braun Strowman, and even worse – neither do the fans! Is that how you wish a happy new year to your favourite jobber? How barbaric are you people?????

Even a RHYNO is no match for the monster among men!!!

Hahaha that Jason Jordan kid – he thinks he’s down with The Shield doesn’t he? “Yeah we gotta stay focused, and if The Bar interfere in your match, we will be there – Believe That!” Roman Reigns is looking at Jason Jordan like – ‘WHERE’S HE GOING????’

WHOA! Finn Balor found his Bullet Club bredrins to go against The MizTourage! Let the masturbating begin! FOR YOU THAT IS!

GRANT BODY-P!

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This is how it goes down – if Double R gets disqualified, he loses the Intercontinental Championship! If I was Double R, I would beat him proper, THEN KILL!!!!

Apparently Double R was fined $5ooo… POCKET CHANGE!!! His daughter still had a powerful Christmas, and his wife probably gave him some Christmas pum-pum!!!

It might be an observation, but the ‘Roman Sucks’ chants are not as dominant like the Cena Sucks chants… bear in mind it’s in Miami Florida, you think the male wrestling fans have ‘grown up’???

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Samoa Joe – TEEF! He tried to push Double R into the referee! The plan didn’t work! Double R shifts into a spear – BLAOW! Even the crowd gives it ratings! You see? Roman Haters never win! They only make themselves look more stupid!

1 hr left of this and bed is calling me…

F**k!n Hell – Elias tried to sing that stupid New Year song, and for 37 years, I don’t know why the f**k some of you jabronies hold hands and sing that sh!t! What the f**k does it even mean?! Don’t even send answers on a postcard – I’m going to bed… no wait there… the Bullet Club are on… nah f**k that – I can catch up with this in the morning word up…

Somehow I am still hanging in there! This wrestling sh!t is boring me, but maybe Brock Lesnar will end it strong…

Brock Lesnar fears no challenger (s)!!! THAT IS TRUE PEOPLE!

My hero Kane hit the chokeslam on Lesnar! But Lesnar sat right up and laughed at Kane! Kane is like – MUTHAF***A!!!

Notice – when the don of dons hit the chokeslam on Lesnar a few years back – Lesnar wasn’t sitting up at all…his back hot him… I’m just saying…

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Monday Night Raw #1277, November 20, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Deep breath… TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!! TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF! I knew that muthaf***a could not be trusted! I don’t think anybody saw THAT sort of ending coming though… and I don’t mean when Braun Strowman had him sh!tt!n his brief!

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RAW 1277! Forget about NXT War Games. Forget about Survivor Series. The main story is – JoJo nudes have been leaked! Like – GOD DAYUUUUUUM! If you are good I may share them with you!

Steph Raw

Since Virgin Media wanted to f**k with me (internet was down) I have to play catch up on YouTube.

We at least Kurt still has his job… I still wanna know why Triple pedigreed him for no reason though!

Oh no Jason Jordan bex! I hope he knows what he’s doing!

He wants a match with Triple Teef? Does he realise this dude uses the hammer???

That’s what the fans want, but Triple doesn’t wrestle on a random Monday?

Triple H back off jacket! He’s THE GAME – he’s played this game for too long Jason Jordan is but a noob!

“Triple H isn’t afraid of anyone in that locker room…” – BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!! You sure about that Stephanie?

Triple trying to stand up to him! Then he forgot he doesn’t have the McMahon Helmsley Regime so he backed off!

GRANT BODY-P!

Kurt might still be the GM but The Authority is in full force I tell ya! Putting Braun up against Jason Jordan? TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!

Now, Finn Balor passes out to Joe’s super move right, and I couldn’t help but glance at Dave Meltzer talking about ‘Vince has no faith in Balor’… see muthaf***az – this is the sh!t I’m talking about – DON’T BE LIKE DAVE. Conversely, if Samoa Joe lost to Balor – there is Dave over there saying Vince has no faith in Joe… don’t follow him readers…

To those pea brains who say Dean Ambrose is ‘boring’ with that off the rope lunatic clothesline thing he does, I bet you didn’t see the lunatic roll up pin attempt on Sheamus did you??

If I had a negative to say about the Survivor Series, it’s that a Cruiserweight Survivor Series match would have been dope… The Zo Train Vs the rebels… Oh well… you could say it was WWE dropping the ball, but we don’t think about things like – time constraints…

I think Dana Brooke is trying to avenge her friend Emma’s release isn’t she? She wasn’t ready for Asuka in NXT, she ain’t ready now!

Remember last time Dana Brooke slapped Asuka? Didn’t work out too well! What makes her think it will work out this time?

OH NO! The ugly @$$ Paige is back! Bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yay… MISS ME WITH THAT BULLSH!T!

HELL NO I didn’t miss you. F**KOUTTAHERE!

Hold up! Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville?! Now you haven’t gotta question what happened to the Tough Enough female champion, but that Sonya Deville…I like em feisty! OH YEAH!

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Now that’s funny! they beat down Bayley, Sasha and Mickie and then Alicia Fox screamed and run garne!!!! FANTASTIC!

Mandy Rose has a better super move than Eva Marie ever had!GRANT WWDJC2

Shout out to Micah Lee of Soul N Sports/BDSIR NETWORK – he posed the question – if RAW gets Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville – what does Smackdown get? WELL THE GRANT SAYS – BILLIE KAY & PEYTON ROYCE FOR THE WIN! DO IT!!!!

WELL THE GRANT SAYS THIS – If Mandy & Sonya have any sense – they will leave Paige before she turns on them – just like she did with Becky Lynch and Charlotte… Submission Sorority 2.0. What do you think folks?

YES!!!! THEY BEAT DOWN ALEXA BLISS! At this moment, I like Paige just that little eeeny beeeny bit more right now! Respect points gone up from NAUGHT – NAUGHT point ONE!

GRANT BODY-P!

First Alicia Fox, now The Miz! HIM RUN GARNE!!! I wished Braun was at the other side of the stage to stop The Miz in his tracks… I would have been DUN!

TRIPLE POWERBOMB TO THE MIZTOURAGE – BLAOW!

Jason Jordan might be the luckiest muthaf***a alive – his knee gave in at the right time as if it was divine intervention – because my hero Kane appeared and attacked Braun Strowman!

Kane is killing Strowman with the chair! WHOA! He did The Undertaker move with the chair to the throat! HOLY SMOKES! All that is left to do is electrocute his seed bag and set him on fire! (What – no pyro? Ohhhh….)

GRANT BODY-P!

In the battle to become the Intercontinental Champion… Sheamus & Cesaro try to teef!! Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale to Double R – BLAOW! 1, 2, and…NOT SO EASY!!!

The Shield come down to sort the injustice!

Spear to The Miz – BLAOW!!! 1, 2, and…3!!!! LET THE COMPLAINING ON THE INTERNET BEGIN!

Let’s be real – if all the beatdowns The Miz has had in recent weeks by the likes of Strowman and The Shield was somebody else, y’all muthaf***az be like – he’s getting buried! It’s a damn shame that half the wrestling fans have lack of intellect…

…and The Miz is still talking sh!t…. until The Shield appeared behind him! Now he wants to shake their hand? What a sportsman…

WHOA!!! The Miz said this is his yard??? Er… Roman…. do you have to make a long distance call to Death Valley?

Seth Rollins kick him down as if to say – SHUT UP YOUR BLODCLART BWOY!

Announce table set up – The Miz – Shield bombed through the table – BLAOW!!! When will he ever learn???

Monday Night Raw #1222, October 24, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

On this day, you wrestling fans can get your revenge! Why? I turned on my Facebook this morning, word up – seems like everybody on this Walking Dead thing. LOOK – I ain’t tryna watch no muthaf**!n zombies – OK! But damn this sh!t is real to you right? Yo wrestling fans – GET EM…

walking-dead-wack

Y’all know that muthaf**a who ‘dies’ said ‘cheque please’ and is not spending a dime on your crying @$$£$!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news… on this day… something is supposed to happen which changes wrestlers lives… er… enlighten me????

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RAW 1222! BROCCCCCCCCK!!!! WHAT YOU GONNA DO KID?

WWF PROPA TINGZ

Standing ovation for he who has the dreaded list! Now you can buy the T-shirt! YES!!! Fantastic!

He has terrible news? What? The triple threat match scheduled for the main event has been cancelled? Whoever cancelled it must go on the list!

Hold up – the list is stolen???? What sort of atrocity? Quick – call Dexter! Put the criminal on the table! This is not right!

Crowd chanting – ‘Where’s the list?’ Kevin Owens doesn’t care about the list! DISRESPECT!

Maybe Stephanie got the list?! Nobody must leave the arena until the list is found!

SERIOUSLY STEPHANIE! You need to come over here and let me lay you down and… ok I’ll stop!

SETH ROLLINS GOT THE LIST! DEXTER SORT HIM OUT!

UH-OH! Stephanie is on the list???? That’s not right!

KEVIN OWENS IS ON THE LIST TOO? GOOD LORD!

Oh god – I hope Seth doesn’t do anything drastic to that list! It’s Jericho’s livelihood! It’s more precious than the World Wrestling Federation Championship!

For real Balding Club? You gonna just shut down Enzo & Cass up like that?

Obviously shutting down the mic is no problem! They did their promo anyway and got over with the crowd!

Enzo Amore defeated Anderson! Balding Club lose again! Internet Wrestling Community HOW YOU DOIN?

GRANT BODY-P!

Yep – Rusev isn’t afraid of Hell In a Cell… course you aren’t… Sasha and Charlotte are going in there! And just like I said to those two sexy @$$£$, I’m gonna say the same to you Rusev – Undertaker is NOT your opponent!

To those who think The New Day have gone stale… you might as well go to the tattoo parlour and get ‘Trump’ tattooed on your forehead like the STUPID IDIOT you are!

dyam-arse-trump

This Cesaro and Sheamus sh!t is a repeat of Miz and Mizdow in a sense where you cheer one but boo the other relentlessly. You would think that they will become tag team champions, but given New Day’s 428 title reign (6 days away from the ‘sacred’ 434) I can’t see it happening.

Nice touches by WWE2K17 to make Cesaro’s Giant Swing and New Day’s Unicorn stampede OMG moves! Gives me an incentive to play as them, as if there were any doubt!

Kofi Kingston has learned a valuable lesson… never fly at Cesaro… you will run into an uppercut – BLAOW! His chin probably looks like James Ellsworth right about now!

GRANT BODY-P!

Jinder Mahal is actually killing me! ‘One must find the list, but first, he must find inner peace!’ Breathe in Breathe out! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! SUPERB!

Last time Bayley and Dana fought, there was some funny business that happened… they shall fight again! Bayley got that same sellotape on her shoulder that Cesaro got! Is there something going on there??? Answers on a postcard please – tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

Hold on – an arm wrestling match???? Yo creative – 2003 is THAT WAY! The crowd want wrestling – Not arm wrestling!

Dana Brooke TEEEEEEEF! Bayley was on the verge of beating Dana in a dry @$$ arm wrestling contest but Dana had to drop a cheap shot! Like I say – if they did this 15 years ago the crowd would be invested!

Jericho said he would never put Stephanie on the list… well the Grant says Stephanie, you are on MY LIST… The list of GRANT BODY-P!

Aaaaaah sh!t Curtis Axel get serious now! No more AxelMania Royal Rumble sh!t, no more social outcast bullsh!t, time to be that man Mr Perfect and his grandfather raised him to be! Brukk up Bo Dallas blodclart!!!!

That’s f**ked up! All that talk, all that fire in his belly, and Bo Dallas still beat Curtis Axel in his hometown? Er Vince… get the future endeavoured list out…

hiac-laidies

Braun Strowman has the list! He gave it him like… Sami Zayn is not on the list.. and after all that, Strowman made the list!

Oh dear the crowd didn’t like Roman Reigns promo to Rusev! Well you know Roman… he’s straight to the point, no-nonsense… no charisma either… oh well…

Titus – How you manage to wear good suit with those pink battyman socks? What sort of sh!t is that?

Contract signing between sexy @$$ Charlotte and sexy @$$ Sasha! OOOOH Charlotte’s figure… dayum she can join the list too! look at that tight @$$ outfit Sasha got on! She can join the list too! OHHHHHH!!!!GRANT BODY PHENOM

Thank god Mick Foley is true to himself, don’t wear those ridiculous suits or whatever it is WWE force you to wear!

That’s it Mick, let these women see sense about this Hell In A Cell sh!t, they think they fear nothing because they are not fighting Undertaker… seems like Charlotte ain’t listening! Maybe Undertaker himself should come out for real! Sound the gong… come on!

I know that’s what I would do if I was creative…

Foley is trying his best to let these women see reality…sounding a bit like Mankind himself…. he won the crowd over…he’s close to tears here! THIS SEGMENT IS OFF THE HOOK! Now sound the gong… Please!!!!!

They have signed the contract! It’s official! Man… it’s a damn shame Undertaker is not in the best of health as far as his hips. I would have flown him to Minneapolis and strike fear in these women, because if there is one thing I dislike, is WWE Superstars acting like they are not afraid of the cell and take this thing make joke.

Wow – Kendrick and Rich Swann shook hands before their contest! I guess it’s just a personal issue between Kendrick and TJ Perkins!

Wow – TJ says he and Kendrick had a contest 15 years ago, and Kendrick failed to beat him. So this is an ‘ether’ situation…

OH SNAP! Rich Swann defeated Kendrick! Er… can we make this a triple threat thing?

Braun Strowman finally gets better competition! Can Sami Zayn twist him up?

What? Braun doesn’t see real competition? Sami fought the best in Shinsuke Nakumura! He had match of the year with Cesaro! ARE YOU KIDDIN ME STROWMAN? YOU CAN’T WRESTLE NUH BLODCLART!

GRANT BODY-P! –

Strowman walked away from Zayn! Well the Grant Says – I know it’s the video game, but why don’t you take on Grant in WWE2K17? I assure you – YOU WILL GET BUSS ARSE!

Dayum Kendrick is desperate isn’t he? What – he asked TJ Perkins to ‘let him win’? Er Vince… the future endeavoured list!!!!!!

When you hear that guitar riff…. THAT’S IT! THE BEAST INCARNATE IS HERE! Yo – I never told Goldberg to say what he said the last week!

Now bear in mind, Goldberg gonna get booed because it’s in Brock’s hometown!

Oh no! Heyman just put wrestling fans on blast for being fickle! It’s like 80% are chanting Suplex City and 20% are chanting Goldberg!

I see somebody holding a Damian Marley poster! He knows what time it is!

I thought Brock had choice words for Goldberg, then again… bad man move in silence…

I forgot about this so-called Triple Threat match… if the title isn’t on the line, you know Owens and Jericho are gonna combine their force and mash-up Rollins!

Even though it’s gonna be a cheesy @$$ Halloween episode of RAW next week, we got Goldberg again! That’s good!

Rollins is certainly no Austin or Rock – they would be putting beats on Jericho and Owens!

‘No mortal man’s gonna beat them both’… Bryon Saxton obviously doesn’t do his googles er – hello – the two aforementioned guys? Triple TEEF maybe? Undertaker?????? Goldberg? BRROCCCK LESNAR???

HOW THE RARSE DID SETH ROLLINS PIN BOTH GUYS? Yo Saxton – your foolish statement should get you on the list!

Dun know Owens and Jericho didn’t like that sh!t – they rushed him! But Rollins still got fight left! But it only ended in Owens dropping the powerbomb to Rollins spine first into the hardest part of the ring apron – BLAOW!

That was a good go-home RAW.. here’s me thinking I would have to skip a segment and talk about this chick who WWE just gave a tryout to…

elena

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1214, August 29, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

So… how was your Bank Holiday Monday?

I saw videos of police ‘daggering’ women at the Notting Hill Carnival… if you don’t know what that is, I suggest you hit the YouTube and type in ‘Dancehall daggering’… be warned – NOT FOR THE WEAK IN BED!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news: I’ll just leave this here…

IWC PRAYING

Some of you muthaf***az don’t even believe in God, so how you gonna pray hoping for Kevin Owens to win???? This is blasphemy people! I have nothing against Owens winning the World Wrestling Federation Universal Championship, but now those folks at Heelbook posted this, I’m hoping for the opposite! I’m all for seeing you fools angry over some sh!t!

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RAW 1214! ANYONE BUT KO! I CARE NOT FOR THE IWC!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

Now, if I go off on random subjects it basically means RAW is wack in places!

Kevin Owens – the clear favourite here by the crowd! Maybe his time is now!!!!

Big Cass – the dark horse! Not many believes he can win but I can see him bringing a great showcase!

Seth Rollins – with the most talk out of everybody! He’s a safe bet!

However, bad man move in silence… Roman Reigns ain’t saying sh!t! He’s just bringing the pain on all his opponents! That’s right – boo him! THAT’S THE MAN I’M BACKING!

Seriously I’m loving the new stages of RAW & SmackDown! Might be too late for WWE2K to hook it up on the new game!

Jericho’s promo was superb! Neville you are a don but you gonna get the gift of Jericho! You will drink it in!

Very interesting how RAW advertises a Smackdown PPV in Backlash on their stage…

OH NO! The New Day got their hands on Bayley!!!! Look at Bayley whining her hips! Does nothing for me but I bet it does a lot for you guys!

GRANT BODY-P!

They gonna be fighting Dana Brooke and the Bullet Club! This should be a very entertaining contest!

Now, Nia Jax ain’t like most girls… and that’s the type the Infamous Informer likes!!!! Shout out to her opponent from Texas… she kinda cute still… don’t hurt her too much Nia!

The Bullet Club have had a career change! Now they are carers for the retirement home? They are still on The New Day’s case! They recruited Dana Brooke as a nurse! Hey I’m all for sexy @$$ nurses but if Dana is anything like this woman pictured below… RUN HARD!!!!! DON’T LOOK BACK!

Lindsey

Hollyoaks fans – you feel me though right!!!!

Showing a feature on Seth Rollins – the question remains – is WWE2K17 going to keep the curb stomp? Answers on a postcard please – tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

Uh-Oh! Sasha just called Charlotte a coward! She lucky Charlotte didn’t go off on one just like the Miz did to Danny Bryan!

Talking of that – it will be addressed on Smackdowns this week! It will be very interesting to see where this leads!

The New Day – 372 days as W…W…E… TAG…TEAM…CHAMPIONS! Can they beat the reign  of Demolition? I seriously doubt it to be honest people, the competition is too powerful!

NAHHHH! When the New Day were doing the unicorn stampede, they should have let Bayley step in there and stomp a mud hole in Karl Anderson’s @$$ and walk it dry! Missed a trick there!GRANT BODY P

I gotta rate that sexy @$$ Charlotte on commentary, wearing that tight leather leggings complementing her legs…dayuuum! Make me wanna bark like DMX! Where my dawgs at – UFF-UFF-UFF!

GRANT BODY-P!

Bayley and The New Day win against Dana and the Bullet Club! The story here is about Bayley’s momentum, not the Bullet Club’s quest to claim the championships from New Day, so get your head out your arse jabronies!

What’s the score on this Cesaro Vs Sheamus thing? Answers on a p – actually f**k that – I have something better than that to talk about – this goes out to anyone in the area! A signing with friend of the STC – Ric Flair N!&&@!

RIC FLAIR WRESTLECADE

Say word? The winner out of this best of 7 series gets a future title shot? Good luck to them both, doesn’t matter to me! I’m still not watching this sh!t!

GRANT BODY-P!

Fans – friendly reminder – especially you UK fans – quit complaining about the frequent adverts while RAW is on. I know it’s frustrating as hell, but unless you air your grievance to USA Network, nothing will be done!

Massive respect to WWE putting together a package for Mr Fuji… he was so TEEF back in the day!

Aaah sh!t – the sexy @$$ Stephanie is out here to sort out this situation with Brock Lesnar…word is she fined him just $500! There was a parody ‘go fund me’ campaign to help Brock Lesnar pay off the fine!!!!

Now the crowd might be chanting ECW, oh sh!t they are chanting CM Punk! Wait – are we in Chicago? Why don’t they chant ‘F**k her right in the pu$$y’????

GRANT BODY-P!

Has Heyman got one up on Stephanie? She reluctantly accepted an apology, and left the ring… what happened to the defiant slap in the face? I’m not too sure why, but Heyman used a lot of big words – Harvard University style and said something about the ‘Board of Directors’… and it had Stephanie shook… but Heyman throwing dollar bills at Stephanie like she’s a stripper was comedy gold!

While Darren Young tackles Titus O’Neill (ahem…) I wanna introduce to you my latest lust interest… I don’t know what it is about this woman but I would tear her @$$ up!

jenny

Her name is Jenny Scordamaglia people… she’s on a channel called Miami TV…Youtube her @$$. She is the luckiest woman on earth – you know why? Because the Infamous Informer is a retired clubber… and had he be out there… it would be CURTAINS for Jenny Scordamaglia!

If you are familiar with the anime film above, that’s Jenny and I’m the demon. GRANT BODY-P!

Aaaaah sh!t it’s gonna go off! The main event! Roman Reigns! Kevin Owens! Seth Rollins! Big Cass! One of these muthaf***az gonna become te World Wrestling Federation Universal Champion!

WAIT! Big Cass – you can’t describe Seth, Kevin & Roman as SAWFT?!!!!!! Have you lost your mind?!!!!!

…AND THEY ARE UNDER WAY! I got my lilt drink, and my double choc biscuits!

Good lord these four are out to steal the show with big boots! mean clotheslines, flying through and over top ropes!

Look at Kevin Owens screaming at Mick & Stephanie like – IT’S MY TITLE! I don’t think Foley is gonna screw you out the title… I mean Foley of all people… he remembers Survivor Series 1998!

GRANT BODY-P!

A superman punch followed by a kick to the jaw bone and a frog splash off the top ropes and Big Cass is out the game! I knew he lost his mind!

Roman Reigns – you tryna hit too many superman punches! You not gonna win being so repetitive!

Crowd are loving this! All three men refusing to die!

WAIT A MINUTE! TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!!  He just drop the pedigree on Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins!

KEVIN OWENS! IN SHOCK! BUT HE IS THE NEW! UNDISPUTED, WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION, UNIVERSAL CHAMPION!

BACKSIDE!!! He snatched the belt from Foley and gave it to the prize-fighter! Even Stephanie is in shock! We don’t know what role Triple plays in all this draft business!

Calling it right now – Roman & Seth will combine their force to take out Triple TEEF! What if Triple goes to Smackdown and takes out Ambrose? This will be the trigger to turn Seth face! Seth could win Royal Rumbles and then he truly Redesigns, Rebuilds, and Reclaims his title at WrestleMania 33. REMEMBER I TOLD YA!

GRANT BODY-P!

 

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#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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