Tag Archives: Danny Bryan

Monday Night Raw #1189, March 7, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Peace intelligent wrestling fans and peace to retarded wrestling fools around the world! Thank you for your patience with me bringing this blog to you. I really shouldn’t be writing this because I have an essay to complete and my laptop charger died on me but thanks to STC’s Lee Ashbourne he hooked me up. Something he didn’t have to do but he did why? Because he respects my conglomerate. For that I respect him for it. SALUTE.

Now I missed RAW this week, I heard some of you were anticipating a big return, some of you went as far as thinking it’s CM Princess Peach B!tch just because it’s in Chicago… you guys are OFFICIALLY the epitome of what the negative side of the Internet Wrestling Community is. Yes ANYTHING can happen in the World Wrestling Federation and Shane McMahon proved that 2 weeks ago… but I the Infamous Informer stand here as a PROUD Anti-Punk fan. I don’t worship somebody who doesn’t give a crap about me as a fan or the wrestling business. Take a good look at yourself CM P**k worshippers. YOU ARE RETARDED.

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RAW #1189! I’m surprised WWE didn’t draw up this tune for their WWE Network show this weekend!

WWF PROPA TINGZSource: WWE.Com/YouTube

WHOA!!!! Shane telling it like it is! That’s what the IWC have been saying for months now! Vince is out of touch! The talented wrestlers don’t get props while the stars with no skills get pushed to the moon! Shane is out to end it! Or is he saying that just to make the internet fans happy? Keep it real with yourself – sometimes you say sh!t that your partner wants to hear right?

GRANT BODY-P!

AAAAH SH!T! When you hear the gong and the lights go out… THAT’S IT SHANE YOU’VE DUN IT NOW!

NO!!! VINCENT KENNEDY TRICKED US!!! Why he do this!!!!

Look at Shane – he’s dying to laugh here!!!

Oh no! Shane written OUT of Vincent Kennedy’s will! Stephanie gets everything! Oh well wrestling fans, we get NOTHING!

Awwww look at the pic of Vincent Kennedy and Shane when they were young! I’d like to add IWC idiots, that Vince used the word – WRESTLING in his promo… so with that – shut the f**k up!

OH MY DAYS! Vincent Kennedy took the photo and destroyed it! He can’t do that! This is Wrestlemania X-Seven all over again! He’s never gonna forgive Linda for giving birth to him!

“It’s so ironic that my greatest creation, is gonna put to rest, my greatest failure…”

WHOA! Worse than the XFL Vince????

Look at Shane go! Fighting off 4 security guards with the kung fu he’s been learning lately! GET DEM Ip Shane!

Shout out to Roy Lucier and the International Wrestling Fanbase – apparently Neville used a move that the late Hayabusa used in memory of his recent passing. Big those guys up – I would not have known that.

Owens was about gonna end Neville when suddenly! Sami Zayn comes through! Remember Owens nearly brukk his back and took him out the game!

He’s the guy who came back!!!! And you guys wanted CM Princess Peach B!tch… you still marked out though right?! YOU DYAM ARSE!

Wait a minute… has Lana got the freedom to wear what she wants now? She dressing more like that Ziggler kid than what Rusev likes with the tight blouse and skirt!

…and Brie Bella let Summer Rae beat her! Disgraceful! She uses Danny Bryan’s moves, wears his attire and cannot win a match? I know he’s leaving the game but come on!

Lana walking in the ring barefoot… she’s out to slap up Brie and show her panties I guess! Wrestling nerds PUT THE CREAM DOWN!

Lana just used the X-Factor super move on Brie! Wasnt that Brie’s super before it was X-Pac’s??? Anyway I have it on good authority that Lana can actually fight…

WWE_Roadblock_Poster

and I guess we gonna see that at big BIG WrestleMania. But if Danny Bryan is in Brie’s corner, it’s gonna hurt me to boo her… f**k that – WHOEVER LOSES – I WIN!

I gotta give Triple his props because he didn’t have to defend his title at all until WrestleMania because after all he is TRIPLE TEEF… I guess he clocked on that the IWC might have him up for it, best of luck to Deano… I sincerely hope (like all of you wrestling fans) that this makes things interesting in the storylines…I would hate to see Roman Reigns booed out of Dallas but at the same time the beef is between Roman and Triple to begin with. Fans can’t see that fundamental concept, that’s where I call them IDIOTS.

YEAH I SAID IT – GRANT BODY-P!

“Roadblock is just a name that some idiot in the marketing department came up with…” WHOA TRIPLE SAID THAT???

He just called Ambrose a speed bump or a pothole! That’s not right – Ambrose – BEAT HIM!

No Triple – The Authority doesn’t always win – THE INFAMOUS INFORMER ALWAYS WINS!

What did Dolph Ziggler do to get buss arse by The League Of Nations? Was he shaking his @$$ again like a faggot??? Answers on a postcard please – tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

Never mind guys – JBL told me – he was trolling the authority on the twitter… only the Infamous Informer can do sh!t like that, like walking like Vincent Kennedy, talk like Triple Teef, and show Stephanie how nasty I can be in the sack!

GRANT BODY-P!

Four hot women fighting each other in the ring, who’s the winner here? RIC FLAIR N!&&@!

Look at him! Observing at ringside – just keep your eyes off my Naomi, or else I will joinI am himShadfather in his Flair Files quest!

If you are unfamiliar with the #FlairFiles, check out STC From The UK every Saturday 5pm UK 12midday EST on BDSIR NETWORK – The Best Damn Show In Radio! Cheap plug but it’s not because I pay those bills!

“Becky Lynch refered to her (Sasha Banks) as Nicki Minaj…” What an insult if I ever heard one! How dare Becky say that! Right – Anyone but Becky for the World Wrestling Federation Divas Championship at WrestleMania!

YES TAMINA! Brukk up Becky’s blodclart! (Becky I love you but you don’t diss Sasha like that!)

Michael Cole acknowledges what happened to Naomi happened to Conor McGregor, and if that is the case, then Naomi baby girl, NO SHAME in losing to Sasha. I still love you!

Charlotte stepping in to brukk up Becky & Sasha – TEEF!!!!! Now that it’s a Triple Threat match.. my prediction may have changed slightly…

Superb contest between The New Day & Y2AJ… Jericho goes for the Codebreaker – Big E uses counter technique – into the Big Ending – BLAOW! New Day wins!

OH SNAP!!! Jericho just turned evil on AJ Styles! You mean to tell me that WWE made those shirts and after like a week this happens?!!! The GRANT SAYS something must have changed within creative… maybe WWE’s original plan was to have these two ride together but the fans were like – NO – we wanna see AJ Styles shine as a singles competitor! Stop this Tag team sh!t! Triple Codebreaker to AJ Styles – BLAOW!!!

I don’t care how good of a wrestler Tyler Breeze is – if he dresses like a faggot – I got no props for him… Tyler is WACK! Kalisto out shined him on every level.. I think Breeze should join the social outcasts and then eventually, future endeavoured and off to TNA with his cumse-cumsa @$$!

GRANT BODY -P!

 

Big ups to the Big Boss Man – HALL OF FAME 2016! Yes I can ride to that! But you see what corruption get him? Hung up by the cell by the Don of Dons! NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE!

Golden rule of fighting Wyatt – you don’t fight one, you fight all four, and unless you are Undertaker & Kane, you don’t stand a chance! Even Stone Cold Steve Austin was once tempted to rush the ring and drop stunners on the Wyatt man dem! (Hold that thought – WrestleMania 32 is in Dallas Texas after all!)

Big BIG WrestleMania 32 LOGO

Clearly that Triple TEEF is not afraid of Wyatt! Crowd chanting YES! As if they gonna clash… FOOLS!

I think Deano as got the picture! TRIPLE TEEF setting up the announce table! But Deano hit the Dirty Deeds on Triple – BLAOW!!!! Aaaah sh!t!!!! That’s it Deano, get these fools gassed up! Because once Triple uses the hammer… THAT’S IT!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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NEW STC LOGO 2015

Reproduced from the original by The Infamous Informer

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Monday Night Raw #1147, May 18, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

I wanna give a shout out to STC member Kieran Murray and his Wolfpack crew, see they’ve started some sh!t on the Smack Talk Centre on some faction warfare business… you got the Wolfpack, the Authority, The Alliance, and now the Ministry… I play the track above because everybody wants to know… who’s side is the Infamous Informer on? Ol’Dirty Bastard’s first line in the track is your answer. Meaning… I’m staying out of this foolishness! I am a One Man Army… you know why? Because I gotta entertain my readers every week – those who don’t take wrestling seriously, I gotta entertain my listeners on KicFM, whether it be the STC From The UK show, or the RePPiN4U Hip Hop Show! I have peoples who look up to me…. (WHAT?) I said they look up to me…. (Shout out to Stone Cold Steve Austin…) if you don’t know where I got that line from in WWF, do your googles, do your research!!!

If you want to know more about the madness in Smack Talk Centre,the wildest FB wrestling forum, accept NO imitations, simply hit up your Facebook and go to http://www.facebook.com/groups/smacktalkcentre. REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A WEIRDO!

OK enough of all that sh!t! R-Truth, Ascension, Sheamus, New Day, Wyatt, Cena, Naomi & Tamina, Neville, and Rollins get dem Payback!!! Send for the Chamber!!!! RAW #1147! Hold-Dat – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZSo Triple…. now that you have passed down your pedigree super move to Rollins, are you gonna pass down your 20 minute ‘I Am The Game-errrrrrr’ promos too?

Hi Steph!!! I sure have missed you girl…. Come here let me give you a hug… mind mi cocky!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Well trust them to rub it in how Danny Bryan doesn’t have a TV and all that, chopping wood making a fireplace…

Talk about the Elimination Chamber and Sheamus feels since he put Bryan out the game, he should be the new Intercontinental Champion… Ha… Ryback thinks differently though!!! Has Sheamus and Ryback ever clashed??? I don’t think so – that would be good to see!

Wait a minute – Triple is making it happen! YES TRIPLE! Ryback Vs Sheamus!!! Someone is losing teeth tonight – LET’S GO!

Oh did you just hear that – Ryback & Sheamus will be in the Chamber match! So there’s no qualifying matches and all that sh!t? Well that’s cool with me! Who’s the other 4 muthaf***az? STAY TUNED!

Funny how Ryback hates bullies when about a year or so ago he was on that same sh!t…..

OH SNAP! Sheamus acting like he got something in his eye… ref tryna restrain Ryback… Sheamus playing possum – Brogue Kick in the mouth – BLAOW!!!

OH SNAP!!!!! I know Ambrose did not just KILL that segment! Ambrose said to Ka- er I mean Glenn what I’ve said for weeks ever since he donned those pathetic Sunday schooltrousers… “What would Paul Bearer think? And your BROTHER???? Supposed to be the Devil’s favourite demon….” and took away his champagne!!!! That’s what I’ve said for how long – he committed the most abominable of all sins – he betrayed himself!!! He became one of us! Don’t know where I’m referring to? Do your googles!!!!

I’m sorry Renée Young couldn’t interview me on some ‘Unfiltered’ sh!t…. I’d risk having a good ol’ scrap with Dean Ambrose!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh dear Bo Dallas wants to cause beef with Neville…oh I remember these two clashed in NXT and Neville became the champion… look at Dallas targeting Neville’s injured knee… now look, Barrett’s coming out to compete… I can’t see my dude Neville winning this yo…

Big up Mike Cole for addressing him has ‘Bad News Barrett’…. he ain’t no ‘KING’ to me… F**k that – I address him as Wade B!tch @$$!!!!

Oh sh!t he got the Bullhammer super move on Neville… GOD DAMNIT!!!! BURN DOWN THE PALACE!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Big up Bo Dallas, though… he find himself in a storyline that we can be invested in…

OH SH!T!!! RUSEV BEX! Did he say ‘I Quit’??? Is he gonna run down Lana??? I’m sure there are an army of wrestling fans ready to jump to Lana’s defence! All to get in her little panties!!!

WE WANT LANA!!!! WE WANT LANA!!! – SHUT-TUP!!! Haha I like this!

Wait a minute Rusev – you can’t have a rematch??? You can’t restart the sh!t? The feud is over – this cannot continue – wait a minute Lana is here!!!! I see you wrestling fans cracking your fists like Bruce Lee!!!

…and let’s just throw a pic of Lana here… for no reason!

LANA SMILE

OH SNAP!!! RUSEV SHUT HER DOWN!!!! This could be the greatest day of wrestling fans lives!!!! Even John Cena might get cheered here!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Lana claims he said ‘I Quit’ in Bulgarian!!! Wrestling fans doing their googles! STC lads investing in condoms!!! F**k that, I wanna know how Lana says ‘Oh Yeah, Don’t Stop!’ in Bulgarian!!!

MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!!

So this is what Ambrose gets for bringing up Paul Bearer and The Undertaker… he fights Bray Wyatt… Ambrose ain’t sweating no lantern wielding fool!

What the f**k is that written on the back of Wyatt’s shirt? Follow us – pon di twitter @stc_wwe! or @MZATheInfamous!

Two guys of unorthodox fighting styles…. fans are loving this! Instead of ‘This Is Awesome’… why can’t we have a ‘This Is The Sh!t’ chant going!!!!

Why the f**k did J&J security come and teef? I thought Seth Rollins was like – nah Ambrose, you get to the back of the line… you can’t fight again? What sort of sh!t is that????

Now… Xavier Woods teefed in the match at Payback, so they banned his blodclart from ringside… doesn’t matter… Kofi and Big E got this! They will brukk up Cesaro & Kidd same way!

..and at the Chamber… they gotta defend the titles against FIVE teams??? OH SNAP!!!! Well there’s my theory out the window! The Chamber is gonna be OFF THE HOOK! I’ll be clapping… NEW.. DAY ROCKS!!!

I just love when Big E hits a big move… then he starts the clap!

Hold up, Barrett, Truth, & Rusev entering the Chamber too? WHAAAAT!

As much as I like the tag teams taking part in the Chamber – Primetime Players, LUCHA! LUCHA! LUCHA! New Day, Cesaro & Kidd, Ascension, you mean to tell me Los Jobberdores made the cut instead of Rowan & Harper???? I can hear some muthaf***a screaming out – ‘Who booked this crap’???!

What if I told you it was Teddy Long? Sh!t he should announce it! F**k that – I should tweet him!

Teddy Long  1 foot skank

Look at him! The 1 foot skank!!! Teddy Long is overjoyed!!!!

I just fast forwarded the BLA BLA BLA from Cena…. who’s gonna represent to take the title this week?

KEVIN OWENS???? The NXT Champion??? BACKSIDE!!!!! He could make history! Defeat Cena and wield the NXT & US Title at the NXT joint – UNSTOPPABLE this week!

NXT Unstoppable

Stop the chat – fight!!!! You think Scorpion & Sub-Zero would chat all this sh!t before they kill each other?

What???? Owens refuses the challenge? but he kick down Cena, dropped the powerbomb on his @$$, and stamp pon the US title???? DISRESPECT!!! Owens said – he will fight Cena on his terms??? WHOA! It’s a future war about to build! Cena looking like – WTF just happened? Just when I thought Cena’s war with Rusev was personal….

Did you see the Ziggler Vs Sheamus match on Payback? Then you know what happened with that headbutt.. come on Stardust… BUST HIM OPEN!!!

What? He just lost to Ziggler??? SH!T!!! And he’s in the chamber too?

OH SNAP!!!! Ziggler really does steal girlfriends!!!! Lana just came through and planted one or two on his lips! He’s STILL GAY! If that was me, I would have got all in her tongue, feel on her t!tt!£$, slap her @$$ and wrap her leg around my pelvis, let that skirt ride up! We are talking Lana people, one of the hottest gyal on WWE, and that’s what Ziggler does? BATTYMAN!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Meanwhile Wack Ryder & Fandumbgay are about to get BUSS ARSE by the Wyatt man dem…. I’m not even gonna watch this sh!t! TOILET BREAK!

Stephanie has started to f**k with the Bella Twins again???? Do we wanna see Stephanie Vs Brie/Nikki Part II at Summerslam??? Well I would like to see Stephanie…GRANT THAT'S WHAT I DO

Naomi YOUR TIME COME!!!! You come for your belt! She can’t be booed! because she got SKILLS!!!!

Nikki – GET READY TO LOSE THAT TITLE! You haven’t got Brie to back you again!

GODDAMNIT – disqualification???? And that Milk of Magnesia Paige is screaming – ‘My House’!!!! GOD DAMNIT – I hate that B!ATCH!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

HOLY F**K!!!! Kevin Owens gonna fight John Cena at the Elimination Chamber joint??? And this is FREE to new May subscribers??? Do I have to pull your ears to the laptop and sign up??? Suddenly Payback was just an episode of RAW!

Time to celebrate the Architect of a Dream – Seth Rollins! He’s the future! He used the Pedigree! J&J security and Glenn help him! If only Kane pulled up in a truck full of gasoline and set that muthaf***a on fire!

Hey don’t get it twisted – I like Seth Rollins! It’s that Glenn I can’t stand!

I’ve gotta question – Has Stephanie prepared a song for Seth? You know, Wind Beneath My Ring 2015????

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Chamber music, f**k!n the party up!!! Dean Ambrose I hope you know what you’re doing????

Ambrose bringing the Ruckus to Rollins!!!! He was ready to f**k him up with the cinder blocks until Triple & Steph granted the Championship match at the Chamber!

But even a one man army like Ambrose can outlast the Authority for so long… Rollins hits the pedigree – BLAOW! (Remind me to put that in Seth’s move-set in WWE2K15!)

The question remains – what becomes of Orton and Reigns? Where do they fit into the equation?

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1140, March 30, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

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The Infamous Informer

Last night I cried Tears Of Joy, What did I do to deserve this?

I’m the Infamous Informer, and I have NO sympathy, NO compassion, NO remorse…welcome to the RAW After Big BIG WrestleMania… can you believe that after the best WrestleMania since X-Seven, we still had grumpy muthaf***az pointing out flaws… you know what, hand in your muthaf***!n WWE card, OK? You not down with the team, and you are only proving to me that it was all about the muthaf***!n attitude era. Sit over there, and watch your Peter Handre bullsh!t on ITV2… you are nothing but a B!TCH!!!

RAW AFTER MANIA: HOL’DAT BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZLet’s start the WrestleMania 32 cycle right!

OOOOHHHHH SH!!!!!T!!!! This man can’t be happy… Brock Lesnar with no title round his waist…. Yo Seth, RUN FOR THE HILLS!

Paul Heyman doesn’t look happy either….

And the crowd chanting SUPLEX CITY!!!! Come on WWE get those merchandising set up! SUPLEX CITY B!TCH!! Do you know how much revenue WWE would make off that alone?

No Heyman! You can’t do that! You would lose a court case on that WWE title sh!t!!! Seth was within his rights to cash his cheque! It was within the one year clause!

Hi Steph! How’s your arm baby girl??? Why is the crowd chanting Ronda Rousey??? HAHAHA! Oh good counter by Stephanie using tricknology to the crowd!

OOOOOH SH!!!!!T! Brock Lesnar is fighting on RAW!!!! Seth, I’m gonna pray for ya….

Dolph Ziggler Vs Danny Bryan for the wrestling fans favourite championship! The same championship STC’s Shadfather calls ‘cursed’!!!!

Great contest! Danny gets the win, HOL’ON! Sheamus is back!! Look at his headtop! Ginger mohawk, beard twiss up, kicking down Dolph & Danny!!!! Why y’all booing? That’s what you wanted right? For Sheamus to turn evil because he went stale???! Gotta rate the crowd though: “YOU LOOK STUPID!!!” I gotta agree! He looks stupid….in a badass way!!!

Hold up – the Lucha Dragons from NXT reppin on RAW???? HELL YEAH THAT IS DAN!!!!!

They are twisting up Cesaro and Kidd! They can’t manage them! They had to retreat one time! Now the crowd chanting ‘New Day Sucks’! OH NO!!!! This is bad! Well not that bad – New Day are being chanted! But there is a solution! #BlackWrestlersMatter

Big up New Day & the Lucha Dragons! Took out the Ascension! They might as well change their name to the Descension because these guys are going down and that’s not cool!

Now they showing vignettes for the kid call Adrian Neville? Ha! new season, new road to WrestleMania 32, and muthaf***az could be future endeavoured!

OH SH!T – Brock just heard Seth Rollins is in the hiz-house…. oh lawd have mercy, I’ma open up my rap bible, and the light will come over the children….

Big up Seth Rollins though, he’s here to compete… a fighting champion!!!! You can’t knock that! Can he send Brock for the Tandem Engine???

Hold on… Rollins is jet lagged? His feet hurt? Oh boy he can see Lesnar is BEX! Seth took my advice! He ran for the hills! J&J security got clotheslined out of their suits! Lesnar pushed over the announce table! JAY-BEE & Booker-T mash-up! Grabs Mike Cole! F5 into the canvas – BLAOW! Grabs the cameraman, Stephanie’s attempt to stop him failed! F5 to the cameraman – BLAOW!!!

OH MY GOD THAT’S ENOUGH!!! THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY DAMNIT!!!

Lesnar suspended indefinitely…. already? He just signed a new contract didn’t he??? OH DEAR!!!

Now we got no commentators! What are we gonna do now? Icy Fresh! Shadfather! Steadx! Get in there and take over!

Stephanie gonna fine him! NO! How is he gonna decorate the kitchen table? Sable can’t be too happy about this??? She gonna starve now!

Damn Bryon Saxton has to run tingz now, and Mizdow is out here on his own fighting Stardust…  You know The Miz gonna f**k this up right? With that I’m gonna find the big man room…

…or maybe not! He used the Miz’s supermove??? Bad mistake…. look who’s here, the @$$hole himself – the Miz…crowd chanting @$$hole! This will be a great compelling feud!

Is Curtis Axel still on this bullsh!t? Yo WrestleMania dun!!! Move on!!!

OH SH!!!!!!!T!!!! The man that gravity forgot! The man they call Neville!!!!! (so they dropped the ‘Adrian’ already…) wrestling fans shut the f**k up – he’s still the same NEVILLE!

Guess what… Cena has another new T-Shirt again!!!! God Damnit!!!! I wonder if the true Cena fans have every single shirt ever released? Cena got more T-shirts than Wu-Tang solo albums!!!

I guess the US Spinner title isn’t making a comeback….shame really…

Well it’s an open challenge! Who wants to test John Cena? Rusev? NOPE – Dean Ambrose!!!! I suppose he’s ready to do this considering he mashed up through those ladders at WrestleMania!

God bless Jerry Lawler… Bryon needed help, he can’t do this sh!t alone!

SPOILER ALERT – Cena wins! Still an awesome match, and a show of respect… fans don’t like that… the fans don’t like anything!!!

Now Seth Rollins has mouth now that Brock has gone to…. pay those bills so to speak…. but he must have forgotten about Randall… who actually brukk up his clart at WrestleMania! Clearly Seth ain’t tryna defend his title… fighting champion my crusty foot bottom! Glenn & Big Show got Rollins back… who Randall gonna send foGrant Body Pr? I can think of Roman… but the fans don’t like him (the fickle idiots…) or what about… oh f**k that – the divas are on!

Well f**k you stupid stream… even you don’t know #AWomansWorth… the stupid sh!t had to freeze up and I missed the match…. had to restart this sh!t – nah they need to put Raw on the muthaf***k!n Network!

Considering this is the RAW after Mania it hasn’t been as good as previous Raw after Mania episodes… at the same time I like that because it’s a slap in the face of the IWC who have a kick out of trashing the biggest show and then looking forward to the Raw after… on that note – f**k you Heelbook… you sons of b!tches!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Word is Randall got Ryback in his team… the other gotta be Roman Reigns surely!

Note to fans – just because you hate Roman Reigns – don’t get in his face on some bullsh!t – if he pushes you one side – IT’S YOUR FAULT OK! Don’t be a d!ckhead!

Oh dear trouble at the STC – I had to sort out some admin business… so I missed the main event. But hold on!!! Sting is on the WWE Network!!!! OH SH!T…. if what I think happens… I’m gonna mark the f**k out!!!

Sting – I know you heard that chant!!!! Stop trippin!

What the hell is Mr Bo-Lieve doing here???? Dude you are asking for a scorpion death drop super move kid! Turn back!

Well that was disappointing!!! I mean Raw was good but man…. Lesson to be learned – stop taking the p!$$ out of the show of shows. That blasted in your face if you ask me….

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1139, March 23, 2015!!!

 

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

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The Infamous Informer

SHOUT OUTS:

Big up The Perfect Plex Talk Radio massive on BDSIR Network… Yes I was on their show this week…. YOU KNOW WRESTLEMANIA IS HERE!!!

Big up the PWL crew… yes – your boy is gonna be special guest enforcer in a live match…. and yes Venom I see you… sitting in your ‘throne’… Well THE GRANT SAYS – I was a King in my previous life!
Venom throneGRANT BODY THRONE - P

YOU KNOW WRESTLEMANIA IS HERE!!!

Snoop Dogg is in the hiz-house! He wants to get his wicked way with the divas!!!!

YOU KNOW WRESTLEMANIA IS HERE!!!

I’m the Infamous Informer, and I have NO sympathy, NO compassion, NO remorse, especially for you Roman Reigns haters if he happens to defeat Brock at WrestleMania!!!

YOU GOTTA BE EXCITED NOW!!! RAW #1139, HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZUh-Oh….RAW didn’t start from their tribute to that Perro dude who passed away last Friday at AAA…. clearly wrestling purists ain’t gonna like that…

OH SNAP!!!! STING OPENS THE SHOW!!! YOU KNOW WRESTLEMANIA IS HERE!

Mike Cole just called him ‘The Icon’ Sting…. Wrestling B!tches shut the f**k up!

Oh… I preferred the Sting that didn’t say sh!t and f**ked people up with his bat…. never mind….

He’s only here to take down the evil TRIPLE TEEF!!!!!

He should take ‘out’ Stephanie McMahon too while he’s at it..

Wait a minute – Stephanie stealing The Rock’s words in her promo?? She can’t do that!

Stephanie – you can’t say that about dogs? If you say they are ‘Loyal’… how do you explain Undertaker????

Steph was gonna slap Sting! And no doubt she would have done it! But Sting’s reflexes are powerful!

I thought Triple Teef would have come out in his jeans and leather jacket and all that! Look at Stephanie’s face as she draws for the hammer!!!!

But Sting sends for his baseball bat! Swinging it around like he’s ready to hit Triple out the park!

YOU KNOW WRESTLEMANIA IS HERE!

STC WRESTLEMANIA 31 SIGN BDSIR

Nikki Bella wins! AJ elbowed Paige accidentally, knocks her out, Nikki takes advantage, hits the Rack attack – BLAOW!!!!

Another match that’s happening that you wanted at WrestleMania but it’s not… Dolph Ziggler Vs Danny Bryan… this is the part where fans computers are at risk… because wrestling fans have a knack for masturbating over technical matches like these!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

I knew that dutty Snoop Dogg would be partying with the diva dem!!!! He’s on that SnoopMania!!! That is a slap in the face to AxelMania…. well not in my case!!!! Hold up – you think he might get a Axel Vs Snoop at WrestleMania???

OH SNAP – the original Hulkamania is here!!!! Ok Axel you might be in trouble now!!!! Did you do the gimmick justice??? Hulk Hogan just quoted some of Snoop’s songs!!! And says Axel’s smoking Angel Dust!

YOU KNOW WRESTLEMANIA IS HERE!!!

Hogan box down Axel! Snoop dashed Axel out the ring! But Snoop – don’t do the Hulk celebration… your arms ain’t built for that!!!

Ok Cesaro & Tyson is fighting the Jobberdores… this is the part where I go to the toilet… for a #2… 35-45 minute rules apply!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Rusev is here, where Lana at? God damnit this is not cool! Oh Rusev – dispose of Swagger quickly… what did Rusev do – long d!ck Lana and break her ovaries????

We gotta see Lana at WrestleMania surely! You think she gonna cost Rusev the title??? Anything could happen in the World Wrestling Federation!!!!

Let’s be real – when was the last time you were actually excited for an US Title match???? Rusev has destroyed Cena here! Brukk him up all over the ring, and crushed his @$$ with the Accolade super move on the announce table! That’s what’s up, put storylines into the mid-card titles! We care now! And don’t make it a one-off just because it’s big BIG WrestleMania!

Ha! here comes that little bugga who don’t read the news – Bray Wyatt…

As much as Wyatt is carrying this storyline brilliantly by himself, the crowd wants Taker!

I see Wyatt can use a bit of sorcery!!!! Calling it now… Undertaker has WON this match…. Wyatt believes in himself and that’s good… but remember this… OFFICIAL BAD MAN MOVE IN SILENCE!

YOU KNOW WRESTLEMANIA IS HERE!!!

All Undertaker said was: YOU WILL REST IN PEACE! That’s it!!!! Let Wyatt run his mouth, Taker don’t have to say nothing!!!

OH  NO!!! Some jabroni named Kid Ink is performing with Skylar Grey at WrestleMania??? I’ll leave my cussing for the STC From The UK show…

Big ups to my dude Kevin Nash! He’s in the Hall Of Fame 2015! He was always one of my favourites… ever since he stole Pamela Anderson from Shawn Michaels…. that was brilliant!!!!

Shout out to Michael Finney… I feel your pain my dude… WWE denying the British Bulldog yet again. Don’t give up… KEEP GOING!

Right I seen it on Smackdowns…. Dolph Ziggler defeated Danny Bryan… well this is RAW and the Infamous Informer is watching… so Danny you best not lose!!! But here’s the twist… who’s the special referee?

Looks like it’s gonna be Dean… F**k!n Ambrose!!! This man is capable of anything! He could be the most unpredictable ref since The Rock!!! If it doesn’t matter when the Rock counts to 3… then you f**ked up!!!

See? You’re getting quality wrestling…. now SHUT THE F**K UP & ENJOY!!!!

Muthaf- Ziggler won???? URRRRGH!!!! RAW is ruined!!!! Only joking!!!!

YEAH Ambrose hit the Dirty Deeds on Ziggler – BLAOW!

Send for the ladder, tryna reach for the intercontinental title but all the participants are all fighting for it! These guys fighting like Kaley Cuoco is at stake!!!

kaley-cuoco-mmxiv

Sorry Kaley… that short hair of yours needs to grow back girl… your husband is WACK!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!T!!! BRRRRRROCKK LESSSNAR in the hiz-house!

YOU KNOW WRESTLEMANIA IS HERE!!!

That’s a wonder – No one has cut off Heyman’s mic! Maybe WWE has finally learned! To defeat Brock, Roman might as well kick in the door wave in the 4-4! Rape Sable! Take the kids and rename them – Reigns! WHOA!!!!

Roman Reigns is coming down the stairs!!!! From Reigns says his fam is gonna be at WrestleMania.. I’m sorry – Reigns has WON!

Holy f**k – did Reigns just take the title out of Lesnar’s hands like that???? Lesnar – can’t take the title back from out of Reigns hands??? Gotta make the ninja look strong after all!

THE GRANT SAYS: I’m glad Lesnar has left it up in the air about his contract… hell – WWE probably played a part in it… to keep muthaf***az guessing, I suppose you will have your answer.. at big BIG WRESTLEMANIA! IT’S HERE!!!! LET’S ENJOY IT MUTHAF***AZ!!! AND DON’T BE A B!TCH ABOUT IT!

SOUNDHORNS!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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Monday Night Raw #1137, March 9, 2015!!!

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The Infamous Informer

I have a question for y’all, If Biggie Smalls was alive, do you think he would have appeared on WWE? Do you think he would have performed at a RAW or WrestleMania??? I say he would have. People say that if Big & Pac were alive, we wouldn’t have guys like Wiz Khalifa, who IS performing, that’s the part where I take my essential toilet break… unless of course he gets interrupted by BRRRROCCCK LESSSNAR!!!

I’m the Infamous Informer, and I have NO sympathy, NO compassion, NO remorse, and if Khalifa gets BUSS ARSE, I will……LAAAAAAAUGGGH!!!!!

Biggie Smalls Is Da Illest! RAW #1137, HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZThe Authority are proud of Randall Keith Orton!!!! Little do they know that Randall is playing them all!!! B!TCHES!!!

Listen to the Authority d!ck riding Randall!!! See Randall is like that dude – Agito Makashima… don’t know who he is? He’s the DON in the Guyver Anime Series! GUYVER III MUTHAF***A!

GUYVER 3Randall is gonna go all the way with this!!!!! Just like an undercover cop!!!!

Oh snap! Randall’s putting the Authority on BLAST!!!! It’s true – they are supposed to be OFFICIAL bad mans!!! They are acting like b!tches!!!!

Remember just a few years back you jabronies were saying Randy Boreton??? Remember that???? Now you cheer him…. Who’s changed???? HA! EXPOSED!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

They got that first segment done in just under 15 minutes! Very good!!!!

What the hell is Stardust doing with the IC Title??? Damn the IC title is getting f**ked like Suzette!!!! (Who’s Suzette???) I don’t know… ask GZA!!!! (Wu-Tang fans know what I did there!)

See that’s why me nah support Wade Barrett again, lost to Danny Bryan, he can’t tek di pressure… hits the bullhammer on Danny while he was celebrating… little biatch… next minute Dean F**k!ng Ambrose comes out and claps down Barrett!!! Haha!!!!

Doesn’t look like Goldust vs Stardust is running at WrestleMania at all… that’s cool with me still… I can ride to that! Goldust in the Battle Royal maybe? Stardust in the ladder match? No problems here!

Er Stardust… leaving the IC Title on the ring post doesn’t sound too smart!

What I wanna know is, how come Wade Barrett hasn’t come for his title???? What is he a sissy???? HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh here he is! Wade tryna beat on Ambrose, but he’s brought Ziggler, Harper, Danny and Stardust in the brawl!

I love this IC storyline!!!! Now we got 7 cats fighting over the IC title! But R-Truth is a clever muthaf***a! Wade Barrett getting bex with Truth because he got the title… So Truth is like – here, now stop your noise! Barrett retreating up the stairs only to find out he got the toy belt! That time Truth run gone with the real title! OH LAWWWWD!!!!

Big ups to Connor The Crusher! It’s funny, we the fans were talking about Connor getting inducted, (he beat Triple TEEF!!!!) Not only is he inducted, he gets the Ultimate Warrior award! THAT IS DAN!!!!

Connor beat Triple TEEF

You think about it, not many have beat Triple because he uses the hammer! But Connor did it! RESPECT!

Oh no…. pay attention, Paul Heyman is here!!!! OHHHHHH SH!!!!!!!!!!T! He got a video for us!

What a nice man… Heyman shows us a look at Roman Reigns and his career….

GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!! Paul Heyman might have out done himself from last weeks promo!!! He broke the mic again!!! He even hinted that Brock will UNIFY the UFC and WWE title!!! Can he do that??? BACKSIDE! Now the title no longer belongs to WWE? And if WWE tries a screwjob move or sends Seth Rollins to cash his cheque…. Somebody Gotta Die! If I Go, YOU GOTTA GO!!!

 

BACKFOOT! Erick Rowan won a match!!!!! only because Big Show hit the Sean P on Glenn…. That ain’t the issue hold up…

Now look what you two have done… you sent Stephanie’s sexy @$$ out here…. oh hang on that’s a good thing!

Yes – you two jabronies need to fix up – Stephanie – just give the man back his mask if you want him to be a don again… stop this Sunday School Trousers crap!

Look at the state of Wiz Khalifa??? Him nah dress proper! Hang on – look at Wizdow! He has ‘TGOD’ written on his hoodie? WTF does ‘T’ stand for??? If I find out it is a shot at Wu-Tang’s U-God….

STC WRESTLEMANIA 31 SIGN BDSIRSo while Wiz Khalifa chats his nonsense wearing a John Cena shirt walking round with sh!t locks… let the Infamous Informer entertain you with a proper tune, since we are celebrating Biggie’s life right now…

OH MY GOD!!! Summer Rae & Eva Marie dep pon mi telly??!!!! Let me pay attention… let me see if All Red Everything has improved her fighting style…

Oh – it’s a singles competition??? Ah sh!t!!!!

Right AJ Lee won – enough of that sh!t… now Sting explains why he wants to f**k up Triple Teef…

Well I can’t lie, during the Monday Night Wars and the attitude era, WCW was losing the war… who was WWF champion for the majority of that time? TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEF!!! He used the hammer! I told you that man is NO GOOD! Amy Winehouse warned yo @$$!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Bless Curtis Axel! He’s after the US title at Big Big WrestleMania???? I say let him through! The crowd love him!

He’s like a glorified jobber – I’m not sure if Hulk Hogan or Mr Perfect will like what they are seeing here… oh well… no WrestleMania for Curtis Axel…. hey – maybe he will win the Battle Royal???

Well Cena did warn Rusev that if he talks sh!t about America, Cena gonna f**k him up….

…and he did using the STF super move! I smell an I QUIT match or some sort of submission match… look at Cena’s face when Lana accepted the challenge? BACKSIDE!!!! That ain’t heroic at all! It’s like Spiderman in the venom outfit!!!

Do I smell a Fatal 4 Way tag team championship match at WrestleMania as well? Cesaro/Kidd Vs Usos Vs New Day Vs.. the Ascension maybe? I hope so… I can ride to that! Everyone must decorate the kitchen table!

The MAN in the PURPLE SUIT!WHAAAAAAAAT!!! Naomi Vs Natalya right now???? Ok where’s the cocoa butter….

THAT’S WHAT’S UP!!! Naomi win again!!! Dayuuum I am fixing my trousers right now! Oh hang on what is this Los Jobberdore nonsense…Ok let me rephrase my vision – I smell a tag team turmoil match at WrestleMania…

While that’s on I’m gonna take a look at Ani James on babestation… she’s so fine – she makes my eyes roll into the back of my head!

We got 14,107 chanting that muthaf***a’s name… I just wanna line em all up and throw those d!ckhead wrestling fans in the concentration camps, Grant Hitler on they @$$!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Hmph! Here comes that outta order & bright Wyatt, he doesn’t watch the news! F**k!n with Undertaker is like throwing yourself head first in the grave and calling for the people to dig in the dirt!

14,107 with their iPhone lit up, you guys gonna get buss arse!

You see what happen when you f**k around with the urn? The powers come out, lights go out, all you see is lightning, the bell tolls, suddenly Sister Abigail’s armchair appears, all you hear is the Don’s voice… YOU WILL, REST IN PEACE!!!! But Wyatt seems to be laughing about it! The rocking chair bunn up! Wyatt goose cook! And he don’t even know it!!!!

I don’t think it’s worth talking about the handicap match between Roman Reigns and Seth/Randall… what I can say is this… NOW they are building that WrestleMania flava!

How dumb is Seth Rollins! Randall told him straight – he was gonna f**k him up… and that’s exactly what he did! Seth goes for the tag – Randall put his middle fingers up!!! Did he just do that? I think he did! Then the voices in his head chat to him, and told him to F**k up Seth Rollins! Destroyed him from pillar to post! FROM PILLAR TO POST! Vicious chair shots! a DDT into the concrete floor! sets up announce table, measures Rollins, RKO – BLAOW!!!!!!

The question remains – why didn’t Stephanie come out to stop this one? She did when it came to Big Show & Glenn! Oh that’s right… she remembered what happened in 2009!!!! Yep – best to stay out of Randall’s way when the voices chat to him!

THEY SAY, THAT WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS… THEY’RE RIGHT!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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Monday Night Raw #1132, February 2, 2015!!!

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The Infamous Informer

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Monday Night Raw #1132, February 2, 2015!!!

Grant - still got it!

While you guys were debating on what that Triple Teef is gonna announce that will ‘shake the foundation’ of WWE, while most of you were b!tching about the Royal Rumble match, For one night only I donned the ever famous Purple Suit… and as you can see… I STILL GOT IT!!! Yes go ahead and chant! ‘GRANT STILL GOT IT’! ‘GRANT STILL GOT IT!’ I’m considered a ‘Hall of Famer’ on the dance floor these days…. and as for you (STC member) Edmond Mulhall… I’m not THAT DUDE anymore. That era of me is gone forever – much like the Attitude Era. It’s time to move forward! I have a woman who loves me, and I love her, and I’m not talking about Naomi!

“Ya’ll go to parties to ice grill
I go to parties to party with nice girls
Young boys gotta chill
30’s the new 20 n!**@, I’m so hot still…!!!” (Jay-Z, 30 Something, 2006)

RAW #1132!!! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!

Shout out to the New England Patriots!!! I heard you guys cheated to win the Superbowl! Muthaf***az are wilding! Whoever Loses, I Win – you know why? Because I’m a man of Jamaican descent, and my vision of a Superbowl is that good soup, yes, that yam & dumpling, that meat, all those spices and vegetables in it! CAN’T GO WRONG!

jamaican-beef-soup

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZAnd here we go!!!! Start the show right! Bring the Authority! This announcement has to be off the hook surely!!!! Look at them pointing to the sign!!!! Oh boy…

Oh no!!!! The Authority supported the Patriots!!!! It’s best for business???!!! Oh sh!t! Triple throwing shots! #CancelNFLNetwork??? Triple is going in!!!! DAYUUUM!!!

Crowd chanting Rocky… that confirms that the problem doesn’t lie with him… Come on guys out with it!!! Drop this announcement! I know you gotta stretch it out!

I know the Authority are not tryna shut Roman Reigns down from going to WrestleMania… that’s INJUSTICE! Never mind what The Rock did… COME DOWN THE STAIRS ROMAN!

Oh snap! They using the Samoan family against Roman??? They can’t do that!!!! The announcement hasn’t been dropped yet! Danny Bryan is here!

That’s what it’s about! Danny Bryan never lost his title! He was injured after all!

…and Seth… he hasn’t cashed in his cheque yet! He was in a good mood on Smackdown…oh look here now 20 minutes gone and the segment has not ended… see this is what Austin was on about with Vincent Kennedy – they ramp about too much… not getting to the point…the fans wanna see some action now! As for me… I couldn’t care less! Will Austin ask Triple these questions? By the time you have read this you should know the answers if you have the WWE Network for £9.99 or for privileged folks like the Infamous Informer himself, for FREE until March!

Austin HeelbookIf that’s the major announcement, then as part of the WWE Universe I don’t feel shaken to its core… Seth & Danny Bryan gotta fight each other… winner faces Roman at Fast Lane. Winner out of that goes to WrestleMania…again, whoever loses – I WIN… I like all three guys… what does it matter????

Roman is like – F**k it… I’ll do this sh!t…. if I gotta fight Big Show 1000 times like I have done, Fight Seth or Danny… then that’s what I’ll have to do!

Why are the announcers acting like it’s the worst day of Roman’s life? He didn’t get 16 suplexes and 2 F5s by Brock Lesnar did he? He didn’t get battered by the Undertaker in Hell in A Cell??? Hell, he didn’t get dropped in a car via a forklift truck? F**k that – he didn’t get his legs shattered by steel stairs, taken into hospital, tormented by Mick Foley, and then only to be beaten up by a ‘nurse’ with a bed pan!  All in one day!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Now Triple Teef thinks he can manipulate Austin???? He’s asking to be getting dropped again in his car by a fork lift! Now Curtis Axel is making up noise… Now look what you IWC jabronies have done! You’ve put the notion in his head that he should go to WrestleMania! Talk about he wants ‘justice’… Whaddup Dean Ambrose! Can’t get more justice than that! He just threw Axel over the top ropes! NOW HE’S ELIMINATED!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Gotta admire WWE for bringing out Black History… go ahead and say it… this is Vincent Kennedy’s way by saying ‘I’m not racist!!! I just don’t think Afro-Americans should not be representing our company!’

I don’t think these Authority rebels are sweating their opponents… Ryback fights Luke Harper… Ziggler Fights Wyatt, and Rowan fights Rusev…. to quote Kurt Angle: WHOOPIE-KYE-YAY! or to quote my favourite superhero BLADE: OOOOOH SO EXCITING!!!

Suddenly I’m contemplating taking a nap until Austin’s live podcast comes on!

Told y’all! I wasn’t even paying attention and sh!t!!! Ryback picks up the win! Come better than that Stephanie! Setting up these matches like these guys supposed to be scared and sh!t!!!

WHAAAAAAT!!! Is that how the Usos are going on? With Naomi involved in the entrance?!!!! I love this woman!!!

Nattie looking fine as usual too! I’m so glad she’s showing off her curvy legs a lot more…. that’s what’s up!!! Tyson Kidd – I’m sorry – you ain’t that right man!!!!

WHOA!!! The Miz just fired the stunt double??? Can he do that???! Because a fan wanted Mizdow’s autograph??? All we waiting for now is for Mizdow to box down the Miz!

…and another thing… since Eric Rowan went face… it’s like his deranged character doesn’t exist anymore… I don’t know why he walks around with that buzzard mask or whatever it’s called, it’s like he’s fully human… how the hell can I buy into the gimmick? You see what I’m saying????

Now this is where I pay attention… because Ziggler fights Bray Wyatt, in which I hope Wyatt will win… this guy claims he fears nothing… living or dead… I hope he’s not cryptically speaking about the Don of Dons…. he don’t want none of him I will assure you… especially after he lost last year at WrestleMania???? He might be seeking vengeance… trust me Wyatt you DON’T want NONE of HIM!

YES!!! Wyatt hit the Sister Abigail on Ziggler – BLAOW!!!! Now talk your sh!t Wyatt…. I wanna know if you talking sh!t about the Don of Dons!

Er Triple…. why you and Seth talking about Randy Orton for yo??? Ok Seth you will wonder why you gonna get RKO’d through the canvas… don’t say I didn’t warn ya…

Oh my god Nikki!!!! Dayuuum look at you!!! Yo Cena – make sure you f**k her good right??? TGrant & Leannaight up dress and over the knee boots? Are you kidding me girl! Cena you f**k her right in the pu$$y!!!

OH SNAP! Even Sky Sports is not feeling the divas match… to the point where they got a technical fault and sh!t!!! It must be a wrestling fan who recently got a new job on Sky! I say we hunt him down and skin him alive! “What’s wrong you don’t like women???” (Grace Jones as Strange, Boomerang, 1994)

And co-incidentally… it comes back on when the divas match ends… f**k!n battyman!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Damn that theme they got for Fast Lane is WACK!!! Give me some time to come up with the STC theme tune for this…

OH SNAP! The Miz ‘re-hires’ MizDow as a ‘personal assistant’ well he’s doing his job alright, he assisted in costing the Miz th…. hold on Bray Wyatt is talking!

MUTHAF- he IS talking trash about the Don of Dons!!!! Talking about -“They used to FEAR you, but you let that fear turn into love … I AM THE NEW FACE OF FEAR!” – Bray #FindMe! #RAW

Question – while Rusev is fighting… don’t you wish you wanna creep up behind Lana and slide it up her Putin???

GRANT BODY – P!!!

HA! HA! HA! HA! OH SNAP!!!!! EPIC FAIL WITH THE RUSSIAN FLAG! Rusev & Lana are bex!!!! Capacity crowd ROLLIN!!!! I like how the announcers styled that out! DUN KNOW memes galore is gonna come out of that sh!t!!!

Main event: Danny Bryan Vs Seth Rollins… who you backing? It matters not to me!

Wait a minute… why is the Big Show out here??? You already know there’s gonna be some mad teefing going on!

And they tried it!!!! But Roman Reigns went and speared the Big Show – BLAOW! Hit the Superman punch to Rollins! Danny wins!!!! OH LAWWWD! The WrestleMania sign is within Danny’s reach! How funny is that… Mike Knoxxx and Spotface spoke about Danny Vs Roman on their Perfect Plex show… and look! They must fight each other at Fast Lane!!! Well you fans spoken… look w’happen! My hands are clean…. WHOEVER LOSES… I WIN!!!

 

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1110: September 1, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

UK – We are about ONE MONTH AWAY from Chris B£^O!+ Part II Day… Some of you look confused… I’m talking about October 1, 2014 when the WWE Network touches down on our shores finally! But the question remains – will it be £9.99??? Why are we the last country to get it? And if it is £9.99, then The Grant Says – We are about to be ripped the f**k off! Because $9.99 works out to £6.01 at time of this post.

Before I jump off with this week’s Raw Blog, I wanna big up Cage Amateurs UK, they blessed me with a nice T-Shirt to represent officially! BIG RESPECT! LOVE IS LOVE!

It looks great on me... don't you think???

ANNNND NOWWWW, It’s time for the main event of the evening! I got my Supermalt, Hula Hoops, Mint Chocolate Penguins, Apple Pies (For the divas – No I don’t do that American Pie sh!t – dude you nassssty!) The Infamous Informer is ready! Are You Ready? NO – I SAID… ARRRRRE….YOUUUUUU… READDDDDDDDY!!!!!

Then, for the thousands in attendance, for the millions of viewers watching around the world, and for my readers reading this sh!t…. RAW #1110…. LET’S GET READY TO HOLD DAT – BLAOWWWW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZHAPPY LABOR DAY TO OUR PEOPLES ACROSS THE POND! We don’t have that over here… England is WACK man, we have to pay tax and sh!t, if we work overtime all that sh!t gets taxed too.. We work too dyam hard and we don’t get rewarded?? F**K YOU CAMERON!

Wait a minute… Jericho is about to run the Highlight Reel with special guest Randall Teef Orton, but why the rarse is the Authority out here??? They got beef with Jericho??? What did he do? All he did was call Steph a two dollar slut…. that was 14 years ago though yo!!!

Oh snap Jericho just insulted them all… you know Triple will make him pay for that! But Triple has been contemplating sending for a new #1 contender for Brock’s title…. Suddenly Randall, Glenn, Seth Rollins and Jericho all putting their names in the hat…

Cena comes out, and he’s actually entertaining me here! He’s got a point! Triple changes the match – Cena can take Triple to court, win the case, take over as COO of the joint and FIRE Triple’s @$$!! Can he do that??? I dunno man… Triple is a McMahon…BY MARRIAGE!

Randall & Seth Rollins just had to call Roman’s name didn’t he??? INJUSTICE! Roman Reigns is coming down the stairs! He wants in too! If Hell In The Cell was the next PPV, if I was Triple, I’d throw them all in that muthaf***a, but I’m not the COO, and I got WWE’14… and the PPV is Night of Champions so… Triple’s like, 6 man tag in this b!tch! Triple is gonna watch from ringside, then he will make a decision on who gets the spot… Hmmm… Triple threat jump off at Night of Champions??? I don’t know what to make of that!

YO IWC!!! Yeah I’m talking you, you stupid muthaf***az on the chat stream where I’m watching this…. all I see is you lot running down the show and how Triple botched his line saying ‘WWWE’…. Well The Grant Says – GET YOUR B!TCH @$$ OFF THE STREAM, YOU’RE NOT PAYING $9.99 FOR THIS SH!T, AND F**K OFF AND WATCH THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEX WHERE FAGGOTS LIKE YOU CAN IDENTIFY… YOU NO PU$$Y GETTING MUTHAF***AZ!

What’s going on here? Tag Team contest between Sheamus/Dolph Vs Miz/Cesaro? I got mixed feelings about this because I like two of the four guys… put it like this – whoever loses – I WIN!

Wait a minute – who is that woman with Damien Mizdow???? Y’all know what to do – tweet me at @MZATheInfamous!

Crowd are chanting – We Want Ziggler, Well The Grant is chanting – Grant wants cookies!!! So with that said, I’ll be right back…

…and I came back just in time! The Miz hit Ziggler with the Skull Crushing Finale! Ziggler fails to answer the 3, and the money-maker is in tact!!!! SUPERB!!! I told ya – whoever loses – I WIN!!!! SWEET!!!

Ok Bella time – go on IWC jabronies – go to the toilet, get your wank on because the Bellas – according to you – can’t act…. weSAM_3700 don’t need you muthaf***az! Ladies! Stay with me a little while… let’s talk Bellas!

Wait a minute – back in the days Brie stole Nikki’s boyfriend???? I think Nikki’s telling lies – they were IDENTICAL TWINS – I say WERE because back then Nikki didn’t buy any t!tt!£$! The GRANT SAYS – You and Brie play trick pon di bwoy and him never know he was having sex with the twin! I know these things happen – I read Dear Deidre in THE SUN!!!!!

These divas need no introduction – just my cocky to go hard! Rosa Mendes/Cameron & Eva Marie Vs Naomi/Layla & Summer Rae in one ring!!!!

Oh hang on – this 1 minute match was just to promote Total Divas??? But Layla is not in there????? Unless she’s gonna make a special appearance??!

Remember back in the days? When women would sing songs like ‘short d!ck man’ and ‘One Minute Man’ and ‘Don’t Think I’m Not’, you know all them male bashing songs??? This is a Man’s World divas… we put YOU in one minute matches…. now take out my majestic member, and put it between your wet lips! And suck!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Wait a minute – Big Show/Mark Henry vs The Wyatt bwoy dem???? AGAIN? I saw this sh!t last week! And the week before! They going on like they never wrestled before! I love all four guys but The Grant Says – f**k this match!!!! I’m gonna watch some babe station…

Uh oh…. Rusev & Lana are out to cause trouble…I see you Lana, checking out Sexual Chocolate…. It’s what women do… they are happy with one man until someone better comes along! Rusev – you gon’ lose yo’ woman… it won’t be straight away, but the countdown has begun!

Oh snap – Story #2…. Nikki passed her driving test, Brie failed, so what happened? Brie drove the car and crashed it… and gave the police Nikki’s driver’s license??? Ooooooh bad Brie – BAAAAAAAAD Brianna! Doesn’t Danny Bryan spank Brie’s @$$ for her crimes back in the day? First she steals Nikki’s man – now this???

Ok I’m gonna get some jokes now! Paul Heyman is here to deliver another award-winning promo!!!

Oh lawwwd – His client – BRRRRROCCCK LESSSSNARRR – Emasculated John Cena!!!!! That is the word of the week!

Good lord I need to use that word!!!! Oh no look who’s back…. that Zeb Colter…. god damnit, I thought Rusev got rid of him???

Wack Swagger Vs Curtis Axel???? F**k this match! Watch this instead…

Why have I got a feeling that when this dude comes back, is curtains for the Main Title Picture??

HA! HA! HA! What a motivational speech by Bo Dallas!!! He displayed three people, down in the dumps because of Swagger’s failure, and now Bo Dallas looks up to Vladimir Putin! OH SH!T!!! We gotta get that picture – put up the picture!

Vladimir_Putin_-_2006

Everyone stand up! Put your hand over your heart, and all you have to do, is BO-LIEVE!!! I agree with JAY-BEE – this man is an inspiration to us all! Lana would be so proud!!!

Adam Rose Vs Titus O’Neill? I want to support Titus so much… but this is just stupidness – Maybe the Primetime Players should reform – I can’t believe I just said that….

Wait a minute – the bunny can now fight??? and brukk up Heath Slater??? Who the f**k is playing the bunny? Flo-rida??? Tweet me – @MZATheInfamous!

Ok pay attention… now for episode 3 of this Bella sh!t… oh no! Brie nearly didn’t graduate? So Nikki took Brie’s exams instead and the teacher didn’t notice because they were twins???? Goodness gracious!!!!! BRIANNA BELLA! You cheated!!! How could you do this??? So w’happen…Nikki’s IQ is higher than yours Brie? I find that amusing, since Brie achieved her goals and married a good man while Nikki wants to marry someone who came out of a marriage and doesn’t want kids… that’s not very smart Nikki!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh no – Lana is back…. she’s gonna run down Labor Day!!!! She can’t do that!!! Is that Wack Dryder back there??? HA! RUSEV – CRUSH!!!! And he does… Isn’t Labor Day a day where Americans don’t work? So why the f**k is Wack Dryder working???

Bless Stephanie’s heart! She wants to help the Bellas in their current turmoil! What a nice young lady eh? If he employees have a problem, her ‘door’ is always open… well The GRANT SAYS – Steph, I have a problem in my pants!! I believe your door is open! After all I do kinda work for you! I write these WWE blogs every week entertaining the readers, I work for you for free! I have a song for you Steph… and it goes a lil something like this:

I’m not an American citizen, so I don’t celebrate Labor Day so Steph, I’ll be your ‘Worker Man’!!!

Hang on… all these confessions… for a Divas title shot???? Wait a minute – does AJ and Paige know about this???

See! AJ has to skip out here! INJUSTICE!!!! Where’s your frenemy at AJ? Oh no why the f**k are the crowd chanting THAT

Meme courtesy of Lee Steadx

name??? F**k!ng get over it you faggots!

So hold on – Nikki wants Brie to QUIT? I get it!!!! I smell an I QUIT MATCH! I’m not sure if Nikki will get that Title shot with Paige, but if the Bellas clash – that’s where it’s going!

One other thing – did you see the altercation between Stephanie & AJ? Brie pushed down Nikki and caught Paige in the process, AJ starts skipping around with the Divas belt and skipped right into Stephanie who used her iron fist lyrically and told AJ to give her the belt…. do we smell a future feud between AJ Lee & Stephanie???? I hope so! The thing I fear though – it will start muthaf**az off, believing that this feud will be the key of Philip getting off his b!tch @$$ and coming back to WWE…

Hol’ on – Next week Cage Match jump off – Bray Wyatt Vs Chris Jericho… I have advice for you Jericho… take a steel chair and beat down the Wyatt bwoy dem! take them out BEFORE the PPV – it won’t be easy, but take example what happened to Cena – his beloved kids turned on his @$$!

Cena Wyatt kid

Oh no that is baaaaaaad! Why did The Dust Brudda have to use a steel chair and f**k up the USO Brudda’s leg yo??? I’m sorry to say this USOs… it’s the beginning of the end of your tag team title reign…..

What’s that Triple TEEF doing back out here??? Oh yeah I forgot he wants to watch this match right here…but hear the joke, earlier Triple botched TWICE – he said Seth Rollins teams up with Randy Orton and the ‘Demon Kane’… I don’t see no Kane… I see Glenn… Kane usually comes out in a mask and sets people on fire and tombstones people for fun… this Glenn – wears school trousers and sh!t!

I’m not gonna even talk about this match because I’m sure you guys worked out what happened… but some dude named Michael Sam is appearing on Raw next week…. I’m not familiar with American Football so call that what you will.

THE GRANT SAYS – Does one guy truly make a difference? Maybe… I mean the IWC are on Ambrose’s d!ck lately because he’s a cross between Austin and Brian Pillman in terms of personality… and because he’s filming a movie suddenly Raw sucks… well in a way it’s true… wasn’t really feeling Raw you know… You know when the kettle boiled for Summerslam, but the unused water remains in the kettle and goes luke warm? It needs boiling again…

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1096: May 26, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Stephanie McMahon won the women’s title back in 2000, she never defended that sh!t.

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Dean Ambrose won the US title and held it for 352 days… he never defended it in half that time.

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Your Wrestling God CM Punk, held the WWE title for 434 days, he was injured for about a few months in that time, and never had to give up his title.

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Now Danny Bryan, just won the title at WrestleMania, suffers a neck injury, had successful surgery, should be back in a couple of months at best, but suddenly Triple TEEF and Stephanie McTEEF want him to surrender his title???

THIS IS JUST NOT RIGHT!!!

Are we going into the Payback PPV without a Championship match??? RAW #1095, HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF LogoNotice that when usually WWE does a Memorial Day tribute video or Tribute to the Troops package John Cena usually does the narrating? Why isn’t he doing it now??? I’m jussayin…

ENOUGH!!! LET’S GET INTO IT!!!

OH NO…. not the Authoritaaah! I guess there is no messing about! Danny Bryan! GIVE UP THE GOODS!!!

But before the main event, looks like they called out Brad Maddox…. I think dude is gonna be fired…. Yeah FIRE HIS B!TCH @$$!

Brad said he was forced by The Shield???? WRONG ANSWER!!!!! Look w’happen now… IT’S KANE!!!!

What is worse than being fired??? My Hero Kane grabbing that scrawny neck of Maddox… CHOKESLAM!!!! BLAOW!!! Pick him up, turn him upside down…. TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE!!!!! Oh SNAP!!! HE IS FIRED!!! Can he take this to the tribunal??? I don’t like his chances!

Hold up – Cesaro is gonna fight RVD? And Paul Heyman has mentioned nothing about his Client Brock Lesnar conquering the Undertaker’s Streak?

Oh snap! Bad News for RVD! He’s not gonna win the Intercontinental title, but good news for us! He’s at commentary!

Hol on – Bad News for Barrett! RVD just kicked him in his mouth!!! Oh dear RVD gonna pay for that surely!

There you go! Distraction by Barrett baited up the – enough of that sh!t – Sheamus just kicked Cesaro in his mouth!!!! DAYUM!!!!!

Payback WWERing the alarm!!! Eva Marie is about to fight!!!! Run to the toilet for your lives!!!

I can’t believe they made Summer Rae a ‘face’… I get it – it’s all that Total Divas business…

Don’t you think it should be the other way round? Eva Marie as the ‘face’ and Summer as the ‘heel since Summer seems to be disliked on Total Divas terms…

LOOK PON LAYLA’S DRESS! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! SAY IT AGAIN JAY-BEE! SHE DOES LOOK AMAZING!

Batista is my friend but big ups to Cody Rhodes who just called him a skinny jeans sell out and his bredrin – RK-BLOW! Oh boy gotta give props to the Rhodes bruddas but they gonna get brukk up by EVILOUTION!

Oh no not this 3.5MB and this Los Jobbodor nonsense…. this is the part where I go to the toilet, wash my hands, get a pack of cookies, top up my glass of Black Grape and check the meter and hit the emergency so that the electric doesn’t go out on me!

WTF??? Hornswoggle pulls off the tail of El Torito then in the back the doc puts it back on??? That ain’t PG mayyyyyn!!!

Why have I got this feeling that Bray Wyatt is gonna make that into a single – He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands??? I wonder – do they still sing that at primary school?

OH SNAP!!! Bray Wyatt just said that Cena is the enemy of us all! And the capacity crowd cheered!

I can’t believe the Wyatt man dem brukk up JAY-BEE! OH SNAP!

Damn they put Jerry Lawler on blast!!! All he did was big up Cena… he was gonna send for the Sister Abigail!!! Big ups to The USOs for coming to save Lawler’s clart! Not sure I agree with Cena saying Wyatt crossed the line… for Wyatt to cross the line he would have to rape Nikki Bella! YEAH I SAID IT! And get her pregnant too! THE FORBIDDEN SEED!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Holy crap – Zack Ryder gets TV Time! BLODCLART!!!! Susan Brunton step away from the….


Pic courtesy of STC member Lee Steadx
Maybe I need to step away from the cocoa butter!!! First Layla now Lana with her tight blouse and skirt!!! But Rusef…. KILL RYDER! KILL HIM!!!! LET’S GO!!!

No use chanting USA!!! Not even Hulk Hogan can save you now!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Hold up – Big E!!! He just gave Rusev some Black Fist beatings!!!! Reppin for USA and his people!!!! You know what that means! I gotta draw for the tune!

Oh man! I knew Cody flying around the ring would land him a RKO – BLAOW!!! And that Triple TEEF just changed the rules! Now it’s a no holds barred elimination match? they gonna f**k up Goldust! I call INJUSTICE!!! It is No Holds Barred!!! COME DOWN THE STAIRS GUYS!!!

RKO followed by a Batista Bomb through the canvas – BLAOW!!!! Sh!t… they didn’t come down the stairs… damn… I suppose it’s time to BO-lieve…

Ok let me see this Bo Dallas fighting style…. I heard negativity already from the IWC… they don’t give these cats a chance…

He’s not too bad!!! His super move is the BO-DOG, well it’s a more hefty version of Spike Dudley’s move, that’s it… hold up, where is that fool in the world today? Last time I saw him, he got his @$$ whupped by Stone Cold Steve Austin because AustinGrant & Leanna cussed down Molly Holly… you fat @$$ ungrateful b!tches…. why don’t you jump on that muthaf***!n treadmill, wipe the dust off that muthaf***a, and BOlieve that you can shed that weight instead of being keyboard warriors? Too fat to even climb into a wrestling ring, but are quick to cuss down these new cats? F**KOUTTAHERE!

HERE WE GO!!! Stephanie is here!!! Time for Danny Bryan to GIVE UP THE GOODS!


Well well well how about that then? Let’s be real – we knew Danny wouldn’t give up his title… after all he has valid reason not to and I agree 100%! Ever since he won at big BIG WrestleMania they tried to take the title from him anyway! He just said NO in Stephanie’s face to the point where Steph had to wipe the spit fire from her face!

Here’s the twist! Steph didn’t even slap Danny in the face! she thought that ain’t gonna hurt him, what will hurt him is that if he doesn’t give up the goods at Payback, then Brie Bella is fired!!!! Stephanie McTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!! Death of the Bella Twins!

More Divas! I love this!!!! Alicia Fox! Emma-lution! Backing Alicia here!!!! Get her Alicia! Brukk her up! Emma can’t dance!

OH SNAP!!!! Emma won???? Er… bad move Emma! You should have let her win!

Oh my days Alicia KILLS IT! Throwing beer all over herself, beating up cameramen, pulling out the biggest wedgie since your beloved attitude era – I’m sure DX did something similar! Ringing the bell crazy! Er Paige… if I was you… I’d just lay your @$$ down for the 3…. it’s not worth it man! I’m sure STC’s Ash Blick would love to jump off top ropes on your @$$!

I’m not gonna speak on Adam Rose and ‘Davy Crockett’… but the Payback kick off YouTube match – El Torito Vs Hornswoggle in a Mask Vs Hair match???? Well THE GRANT SAYS – Hornswoggle…. GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

For a minute I thought I had nothing to write on the Bertie Vs Sheamus match, I can say two things…one , Sheamus looks f**ked up like he suffered a concussion, and two, I was wondering how long it would be before Heyman would announce that his client Brock Lesnar conquered the Undertaker’s streak at WrestleMania!

HERE WE GO!!!! Contract signing between The Shield and Evolution and The Shield are in business already! dashing out the chairs! We don’t need that sh!t!

Triple TEEF is acting like he got the hammer and the shovel ready for Sunday!!!

WTF are the crowd chanting???? Answers on a postcard please!

Paperwork out the way… BRING THE F**K!N RUCKUS!!!

OH NO!!! Triple TEEF has drawn for the hammer!!!! And he lick dem all down!!!! TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!! Set up the announce table, hoisted up Roman Reigns, all those months of powerbombing muthaf***az through tables has come back to haunt him! Batista with the powerbomb – BLAOW!!!! HIM DEAD NOW!!!

This is how it goes down! payback, Sunday June 1, 2014, someone ain’t getting up after 10, a diva is gonna go crazy whether she wins or loses, one team will be completely annihilated and somebody’s job is on the line and could be ‘fired’…. Yes I put that in quotations because what if my hero Kane is back there? How do you like your Brie Bella??? Cooked well done or Extra crispy???

Plus? Will STC Admin Ian Cooper’s dream come true? Will his beloved saviour come back and save the WWE? Oh he better hope and pray because if he is an atheist he better get himself baptized ASAP! I have a feeling Philip is gonna let him down again! And then…. THE CHAIR AWAITS… GRIM REAPER CALLING – JUDGMENT DAY!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Infamous Informer

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Monday Night Raw #1094: May 12, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

Since WWE likes to sign up new divas for a development deal, they might be interested in this one! Name: Solange Knowles… she put her boots to Jay-Z’s Candy @$$! Blows up Facebook, everybody put it pon dem wall like they found the breaking news… but what I wanna know is: WHY? Why did Solange spazz out on Jay and Beyoncé just stood there… what did Jay do??? People quick to post it because they jumped on the bandwagon of hating Jay-Z. You sheeple are foolish! (Oh you’re defending Illum-) STOP YOUR NOISE! You’re the ones with your sheep masks following the buzzards!

And that story overshadowed the fact that Chef Raekwon is heading to the studio to lace some verses for Wu-Tang’s A Better Tomorrow album….

ENOUGH OF THIS SH!T – Isn’t Raw in the UK this week? I dare you Zeb – come to our shores… I’M BEGGIN YA!!!

RAW #1094, HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZI guess we’re not in the UK… F**K the long talk! The Shield are like – Is that all you got Evolution? We are gonna straight – F**K YOU UP!!!

And that’s what they set out to do! As soon as Triple come out his limo, The Shield rushed him and his crew!!! LAWD HAVE MERCY!!!

Oh no that muthaf***a has got that muthaf***!n deportation list again, now he’s added Adam Rose on that list and look what happen… here he comes with his party crew, and f**ked it up for Wack Swagger! I’ve just learned that this Adam Rose dude is British as well… the STC are on split feelings on this one! I notice no one is on that We The People sh!t…. if only they listened to me, but NOOOOOOOO!!! I’m just a black man who doesn’t care about the Chris B£^@!+ sh!t…

Here comes Paige… one of the people Zeb Colter doesn’t like…. I look at you all in disgust!

GRANT - BODY - P

Alicia Fox is out to f**k up Paige isn’t she??? Claims she doesn’t fit in… well durrrr!!! Paige will tell you she doesn’t fit in, because she’s the Anti Diva! She ain’t gonna look pretty like say Eva Marie and have no skills… Because she HAS skills brings sexual appeal to a lot of the STC guys! She still doesn’t stimulate me… I’m sorry!

All those power moves Alicia, and Paige out wrestles your @$$??? Damn girl! Kicking up a fuss ain’t gotta do sh!t, go back and fix up! And I don’t mean taking off with JAY-BEE’s cowboy hat and gone with it!

Tell me it’s not so…. did the Authority win the war after all that? Danny Bryan has to go away for neck surgery…ain’t that a b!tch… what does this mean? Has he gotta give up his titles???? This is f**ked up word up! I guess that means Cena can reclaim his throne…. I was hoping for that alleged Buried Alive match at Payback…. let’s see how long Danny is out the game for… Kurt Angle Danny Bryan

RECORD SKIP – there’s now talk of Luke Harper and Erick Rowan possibly fighting the Usos for the tag team titles???? UH-OH!!! I sense the end of the Usos reign… let’s hope it’s not the case but either way it makes for good storyline!

You mean to tell me that after that victory by Cena & The Usos, Bray Wyatt is laughing about it and says ‘he realises what he must do’???? This is what I mean with Bray! You can’t just defeat him in a wrestling competition, you must DESTROY HIM COMPLETELY!!!!

Oh dear Evolution – dem mans are BEX!!! Triple TEEF with the long talk – ‘We gonna pick apart Dean Ambrose-uuuuuuuuh, then we gonna tear the wings from Seth Rollins-uuuuuuuh, then Roman Reigns is gonna get the slow beating-uuuuuuh! Because at Payback-uuuuuuuuh, it’s gonna be’ – SHUDDUP!!! The Shield rushed them again!!!! Batista is fuming! He wants to test Roman Reigns later!!! And he will probably get brukk up too! Why you bex for Batista? RZA & Raekwon have reached their agreements! The album will be completed!

Back to our Total Laydeez, now Natalya and Nikki are competing in a match because Natalya made a god-awful painting of Nikki and John, I thought it was a sweet gift but it’s led to a wrestling contest so here we go, the other ladies are rating the wrestling moves… cameramen what are you doing??? Get the cameras on Cameron! She got the new single out! What – Ray J is not there??? Shut up and tek de picture!

Nikki won the match… I suppose there is a penalty for giving a nice gift from the goodness of your heart…

 

When the rain comes down,

I know it’s falling for me, and only for me…

And the pain comes around, somewhere else I’d rather be,

I know what I’ve done, Please forgive me…

I bet that’s what’s going through Natalya’s head right now…

Damn son I’m trying to get into this Sheamus Vs Ryback match but I’m tired yo… where’s Paul Heyman to give me joke???

Ok I don’t get Heyman but I get Stephanie McMahon….. OH YEAH!!!!

Hang on, I think I get the picture…. she’s gonna take the titles from Danny… or maybe not…. oh sh!t!!! IT’S KAAAAAANE!!! He just drew Danny’s carcass out to the stage!! Oh lawwwd this means Brie is vulnerable!!!! She still has to come to work!!!!

Danny taken away in an ambulance, Stephanie going on like she’s sincere… Brie pushes her one side and did you see the look on Stephanie’s face???? I saw Vincent Kennedy…. Oh dear Brie I wouldn’t want to be you!!!!

Now this is the point where I cuss down Fandango to the ground because he stole my beautiful Layla… but if he’s fighting Dolph Ziggler then we have a common enemy… COME ON FANDANGO!!! DESTROY HIM!!!

OH F**K!!!! Layla might have cost Fandango the match here… well Layla, that’s what you get for dissin me…wait – Fandango LOVES YOU??? WHOA!!! He don’t love you like I do Layla…

Aiyo, he don’t really love you like I do
Kiss your feet, make love to you, like I do
Wake you up, in the night tank and surprise you
Cross my heart, swear, put my hand on the bible
I’m not a cold-blooded killa, baby, I cry too
The best thing for me is when I’m laying beside you
Turn you over, open up, get up inside you
He a woman beater, no doubt, and he lies too…

Yo what up Hacksaw Jim Duggan!!!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

F**K ME that Lana…she that chick that you f**k her with her clothes on…. if she doesn’t have a man, something seriously wrong with the world! Why hasn’t WWE got her on book signings in the UK damnit??!!!

So Lana sets Yusef on Hacksaw… he was ready to take him but Big E Langston thought – that ain’t happening… only to get brukk up…. damn, how many more black wrestlers gotta die??? First R-Truth, Xavier Woods, then Kofi, now Big E???? WTF???Racial man Racial!!!!

I’m glad that Sandow got rid of that Magneto sh!t…. they gave him back the mic to chat… Oh Cody Rhodes why did you interrupt him for? I was looking forward to Sandow to SILENCE!! the crowd!

Now we realise what Bray Wyatt is gonna do! Beat down Cena until he can no longer stand??? Last Man Standing…. Payback… OH MAN!!!!

Enough of that sh!t – Batista! Roman Reigns! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

Evolution and The Shield already at ringside – you already know this ain’t ending well…

…for Evolution!!! They tried to be teef and got half the locker room to rush the ring to beat down the Shield! But the Hounds of Justice sent for reinforcements of their own in the form of a steel chair each and beat down the jabronies! It was like power rangers beating down the puttys but militant style! Has Ryback got the record for most Shield powerbombs into the canvas??? He has to surely!!!

Well evolution hinted at a stipulation, I long to see what that could be and by the looks of those chairs how they were swung it could be a further hint… but damn, Danny Bryan out the game???? F***************K!!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Infamous Informer

BDSIR Network

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Monday Night Raw #1093: May 5, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Have you missed me????  Good, because the feeling’s not mutual!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

No rest for the wicked! It’s Back on my B.S like Busta Rhymes! Extreme Rules Dun! Now for RAW #1093! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZSIERRA! HOTEL! INDIA! ECHO! LIMA! DELTA! SHIELD!!!! I told you Evolution are TEEF! Triple just forced Dean Ambrose is forced to defend his US title against 20 other men in a Battle Royal, just because The Shield brukk up Evolution! Let’s be real, Ambrose hasn’t defended his title in a hot minute! 351 days as champion…. Let me guess, a new star from NXT gonna win this sh!t???

Can you believe the Big Show is in this match??? Sheamus is up in there too! Ok guys, this ain’t for the André the Giant trophy!!! This is for the US Title muthaf***a!

Mark Henry is up in there!!! Ok that’s the man I’m backing! Get that Ziggler OUT!!!

Did Big Show just slap Heath Slater’s @$$???? Oh hell 2 da naw!

No way! Big Show and Mark Henry eliminated! Everybody rushed them and got them out!!! Sh!t I gotta find a new dude to back!

YES!!! SANTINO ELIMINATED ZIGGLER!!! The crowd didn’t like it but I did!!!! Santino to w….he’s been eliminated??? Oh Sh!t….

OH SNAP!!! Sheamus wins the US Title??!!!!! Isn’t Sheamus ‘Triple Teef’ endorsed??? I’m jussayin…

I just had to mention his name didn’t I??? Here he comes… Mr TEEF!!!

Ambrose mash-up… and he gotta fight again with his bredrin against the Wyatt man dem??? (I hear you jabronies already… “Again??”) Ahh-yeah again and again!!!

Big ups to STC’s Lee Steadx who pointed out that WWE’s champions minus Danny Bryan and the Usos hail from the UK/Ireland in Sheamus, Paige and Wade Barrett… #BestForBusiness

I swear Paul Heyman is one funny muthaf***a!!! Every time he comes out he’s like – MY CLIENT BRRROCK LESSSNAR CONQUERED THE UNDERTAKER’S STREAK AT WRESTLEMANIA!!!! Yeah Nathan Webb of the STC – tell Paul that it’s old and move on!!! I think it’s jokes!!! And I’m STC’s #1 Undertaker fan!

Look at Paul Heyman watching Cesaro and RVD fight with his foot cocked up on the steps! I wanna have an interview with Heyman one day! The man is BRILLIANT!

OMG the person that is streaming this weeks Raw is a BATTYMAN! Why is he switching between Raw and the gay chatline station??? I am distraught…. I’m sorry I gotta remedy this… I need something to erase what I just saw… and I think this is it…

1233333_10151943821423993_2024137332_n

SHOUT OUT TO STC’S Edmund Mulhall… he understands….

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Damn why did Cesaro go buckwild on RVD like that? Dropping bows on him and f**k!n him up against the ring turnbuckles! thank god for Heyman who stopped him and said ‘you’re gonna get suspended!’

Two things I think about Bray Wyatt: One, he’s been watching too many apocalyptic movies…. particularly that Urotsukidoji film… and two, he has a good singing voice doesn’t he??? HA! HA! HA! HA!

I can no longer show my moms any more wrestling selection now because if she sees this Bray Wyatt fellow she will start talking about the Illuminati and sh!t….

Haha my hero Kane is getting Brie & Danny shook! I’m glad that they gave back Kane his mind game powers… it interests me where this feud will go… I foresee an ambulance match or an inferno match at Payback…. what do you think guys? Answers on a postcard please! Tweet me @MZATheInfamous!GRANT - BODY - P

It’s all good to see that sexy muthaf***a Lana… but to send Alexander Yusef to brukk up another black man in Kofi Kingston???? Racial man Racial!!! Big E or Mark Henry you need to stop this fool!!!!

Forget the match going on…. STC’s Lee Steadx suggests that this should be Lana’s theme music… well THE GRANT SAYS you can do two things: One, create her on WWE2K14, or two, wait til WWE2K15 and hope that Lana makes it the game and this music plays, if not, you can always put it on yourself!

Question – do you think Lana is wearing something underneath that blouse???

Why is Stephanie f**k!n with Danny & Brie??? Didn’t she tell them to get away in a car? Now Steph is like – no – you can’t leave because you would be in breach of contract and the WWE title would be stripped away??? I’m telling you  – my hero Kane is gonna take off with Brie tonight!!! AND THENNNNNNNN!!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Ok here we go – Bertie Vs Danny in a traditional wrestling contest… I’m waiting for the FYRRRRRE!!!

Great contest by the two, but the FYYYYRE!!!! Brie & Danny run for the hills! Get in the car! Oh no where the keys at????? How the hell did Kane find himself in the car? Me ah tell yuh ah Brie him want! Why couldn’t Kane be in Total Divas???? It would be great!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Ok time for this Adam Rose dude…. let me see his wrestling skill, I heard that this dude is a don!

But not before the rematch for the Intercontinental Championship between Big E and Wade Barrett…. I’m sure it will be another great contest…but quite frankly…I GOT SOME BAD NEWS… I ain’t gonna talk about this sh!t!!!

No!!! A Mothers Day message from MR.T??? What a good thing WWE edited it! otherwise Raw would be on for another 3 hours!

ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH! DISRESPECT!!! Zeb Colter got a deportation list??? They got Sheamus and especially your heroine Paige??? Yeah, say WE THE PEOPLE NOW MUTHAF***A!!! THE INFAMOUS INFORMER HAS WON!!!! I told you – you cannot out think me! Zeb Colter doesn’t care about YOU!!!! You wait til I get on BDSIR Network…

SAM_3287

Adam Rose is a crazy muthaf***a!!!! Don’t be a Lemon Zeb, be a Rose bud! This dude gonna catch on quick star!

Ok so in this next episode of The Shield Vs The Wyatts, ever since Ric Flair gave The Shield props, Dean Ambrose has been using the figure 4 submission move… I think it’s safe for WWE to finally release The Miz now!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Just when The Wyatts were gonna get their @SS buss up, Evolution decide to pay a visit. TEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!! What was even more f**ked up, was that Evolution decided to use the triple powerbomb on Roman Reigns!

Less than 1 month until Payback… yo WWE, ever thought of re-assessing your TV rating??? I mean disturbing children on some children of the corn sh!t with Cena, tables on fire, My Hero Kane seemingly got the hots for Brie Bella… yeah I know, they are so much hotter when they are taken….Danny better get a particular set of skills! See what I did there?????

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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