Tag Archives: Emma

Monday Night Raw #1274, October 30, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

NIGELLA-LAWSON-1

Now I should be talking about the ‘unfortunate releases’ of Emma, Summer Rae & Darren Young, I should be writing about some kid named Lio Rush whose tweet got him in trouble but at time of writing this, Nigella is back on my telly… this woman is going for 60 and she is still baaaaaaaaad!!!! I’d love to grab that woman and ‘decorate the kitchen table’…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1274! SOOOO – What you gonna do Kurt?

Steph Raw

 Double chocolate digestives and a supermalt, plus this sh!t starts early because the clocks tunn back… LET’S DO THIS SH!T!

 

The entire Raw locker room on the top of the stage! Kurt in the middle of the ring!

The crowd dropping ‘What?’ Chants on Kurt! This isn’t 2002 muthaf***a!

OH NO! NOW STEPHANIE IS HERE!!! OH MY GOD – This ain’t good! I mean – it’s good for me – I get to see her sexy @$$ but…hell yeah Steph I missed you damn! COME HERE GIRL!

They say RAW is television’s longest running show – WRONG!!! Try Coronation Street, Try Eastender!

GRANT BODY-P!

Kurt earned Stephanie’s respect! Until last week that is! Don’t you think he earned more than that back in 2000…..????

Stephanie is going IN on Kurt!!! She’s added a fourth I – Incompetence! She expects victory and annihilation from RAW at the Survivor Series! and if Kurt fails… THAT’S IT!!!! AAAAAAH SHEEEEEEET!!!

Kurt – it’s not too late to sweet talk Steph and get in her panties! You did it already once before!

Where was Miz last week went RAW got their @$$ whipped? Exactly – being a B!TCH hiding in the corner! He gotta defend his title now! Hope he loses – THE B!TCH!

What was that about Nia Jax walking out the company??? You been reading the dirt sheets again??? Nia looks glowing! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING SHAD???!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Samoa Joe is back too! OH LAWWWD!!! He wasn’t here last week! I guess Smackdown attacked Raw when they were vulnerable!

He hasn’t missed any of us? Ah well! I missed Stephanie anyway…

NO APOLLO CREWS!!! GO BACK!! This man should not be a jobber?! Oh no…

NO TITUS! PUT YOUR JACKET BACK ON! YOU LOST YOUR MIND??? This muthaf***a went toe to toe with Brock Lesnar and you wanna step to Joe? SMH!

Kevin Nash, HBK and The Don of Dons himself advertised for the 25th Anniversary of RAW! The Grant says this – y’all best knock on Hollywood’s door and The Broken Skull Ranch YOU FEEL ME???!!!!!

The Miz Vs MATT HARDY! Come on Matt! He’s never held the Intercontinental Title! GET HIM MATT! I’m rooting for you all the way bredrin! DELETE HIS BLODCLART!

DAMNIT!!! The Miz still champion! Let the complaining on the internet begin! NAH F**K THAT – I’M NOT THAT GUY!!! I DON’T DO DRUGS!

Alexa Blitch actually suggested something sensible! She told Kurt to bring some talent in from the Mae Young classic! May I interject?? I say bring these in!

Bianca bel air

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t care what you gotta do to get em Kurt but GET THEM!

Who is my sexy Asuka gonna fight? Dana Brooke? If Dana loses, she might end up like Emma… according to Lio Rush!

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a second – who is that???? I don’t mean in a perverted way – I mean in a legit concerned way… some chick named Stacey… oh dear Stacey – you didn’t even throw a punch – Ok – go to Vincent Kennedy, Collect your $1000 cheque, now go and pay those bills!

Er…. Danny Bryan?? What is this???? Remember he wasn’t too pleased that Kurt could fight and Danny couldn’t!

DTA KURT – DON’T TRUST ANYBODY! Not even Danny Bryan!

Kurt told Danny that the RAW locker room gonna come to Smackdown and bring the ruckus! AAAAAH SHEEEEEEET!

Why the f**k the lights go out? Undertaker isn’t there is he????

IT’S KANNNNNNE!!!! CHOKESLAM TO DANNY BRYAN! OHHHH HELLL NO!!!!! See what I did there?

GRANT BODY-P!

While Finn Balor and Cesaro are battling, I just thought – WWE – fire that muthaf***a Tyson Kidd! Future Endeavour his blodclart! Come on – you gotta buy some pyro for my hero Kane! Nattie can pay the bills! She’s the champion damnit!

Talking of Kane!!! Finn Balor tries to fight him! But Tombstone! TOMBSTONE!!!! TOMBSTONE ON THE CONCRETE STAGE!!!

Uh-oh! THE SHIELD!!! Well – 2 of em anyway! Remember Seth Rollins & Kane?! Haha this ain’t The Authority no more son!

I’m still sitting here thinking about Raw 25th Anniversary… Yo – Gotta have Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler and Vincent Kennedy on commentary at the old school Manhattan Center! Trish/Lita – where you at – bring your sexy @$$£$ here!

Cesaro & Sheamus came down to teef – Kane got the CHOKESLAM! He’s ready to finish him, but Ambrose tried to save his bredrin! Both of em got TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE!!!! Sheamus & Cesaro are like – BACKSIDE!!!!! WE ARE LUCKY TO HAVE OUR LIVES TODAY!

All Kurt has to do is send Kane to Smackdown at this rate and KILL THEM ALL! Apart from my Naomi… DON’T HURT MY NAOMI!

GRANT BODY-P!

Is Braun Strowman playing mind games with The Miz – leaving garbage in his locker room? OOOHHHHHH SNAP!!!

Look at the Miz sucking up to Kane… Kane is like – you’re on your own kid!

They put Heath Slater/Rhyno and the Balding club (Gallows/Anderson) in Halloween costumes like they gonna fight… what b!tches!!!!

Sheamus & Cesaro said the same thing! The Miz is on his own! I so hope Braun catches him!!! It would be the greatest thing I’ve ever seen!

Seems like Jason Jordan is not dun with Elias! He hates that country sh!t  – Jason Jordan is HIP HOP!

No Jason – don’t brukk up the guitar! OH SHEEEEEEEEET!!!! No one walking with Elias again!

The Miztourage is leaving the building! NOT SO FAST! Kurt says YOU NAH GUH NOWHERE! OR ELSE!!!!GRANT WWDJC2

RAW IS OFF THE HOOK THIS WEEK! And there is still Mickie James vs Alexa Bliss to come!

Looks like Enzo Amore got his voice back! I asked this question last week – where is Drew Gulak going? HE’S SO DRY – he makes John Laurinitis funny as f**k!

The Miz is straight sh!tting himself! This is great!! Oh man the writers must have had a kick up the backside as of late! See – I’ve been telling you that Smackdown as been the better show but as of late RAW has been straight KILLIN EM!

Alexa Blitch looks worried! Mickie James is kicking her all over that ring!

Yo they showing adverts of KFC word up… hopefully while you are reading this I am tucking in to the Colonel’s food!

AH LIE!!! Are the crowd chanting for CM P**K? I thought you guys love women? I thought you love Alexa Bliss? I thought you love Mickie James? You guys must be GAY!

GRANT BODY-P!

Alexa still the champion! SH!T! She actually used the Sean Price punch! PPPPPP!!! Nah f**k all that – watch this… Miz is taking foot and run!

You think Braun is driving the limo??? Buckle up Miz!

The dumpster has returned! OH NO! BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! Me never see The Miz run so fast! LAWWWWD HE KETCH DEM! He dash the Miztourage down the ramp! It truly is Halloween for The Miz! The Miztourage got F**KED UP! HOW MANY POWERSLAMS HAS HE GAVE THESE GUYS?

LAWWWWWWWD! This guy is an official babyface now! I mean, I like Double R and Cena, but have you noticed guys, that when they are not on TV – WWE kicks @$$??!!!!!

 

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1265, August 28, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

50 men have come, and 50 men have fallen. Officially – NO ONE can beat him! Love him or hate him – he had your attention and that’s real. RESPECT HIS GANGSTA!

Actually I wanna address the haters real quick… still in denial? Talking about ‘it took 10 rounds to take a non-boxer out’ – it will take me 10 seconds for me to tell you – SHUT THE F**K UP! Go and lose 10lbs, invest in that tenner in your pocket instead of ordering pizza for your racist fat @$$!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1265! We getting money YEP! Hall Of Famer YEP! He deserves it YEP!

Steph Raw

NO RAW beginning? We just gonna start with The Miz with his annoying self!

We got Jerry Lawler on commentary! You think he’s gonna be dutty towards Alexa Blitch?

Just as The Miz was gonna chat sh!t, Kurt Angle interrupts the proceedings!

Kurt Angle has no respect??? I’d rather Kurt have no respect than The Miz having no manners!

Looks like there is gonna be in a battle royal! Winner faces The Miz at the No Mercy joint! Oh wait – I got it wrong – it’s running NEXT WEEK on RAW – Intercontinental title defense!

Remind me in the morning I must start watching the Mae Young Classic jump off… the #1 reason I put back on my WWE Network – me want to see the gyal dem fight!

The Miz seems to be enjoying what he’s seeing from this Battle Royal! Everyone dashing each other out the ring and falling on their side!

Oh so that’s why… he got his cronies up in the match too! But what if Bo Dallas or Curtis Axel win? (hypothetically…)

Bray Wyatt TEEEF! He wasn’t in the match! Appeared out of nowhere doing his children of the corn sh!t and dashed Finn Balor out! CALLING STIPULATION FOR NO MERCY!

Just when you thought Jason Jordan was the favourite to win… Jeff Hardy emerges victorious! Oh wow! I like this!!!! The Miz doesn’t like it I can tell you that!

Now that Enzo fights on 205 Live, the question remains – is he still gonna mix it up with the regular roster?

Big Cass is out the game for a good number of months! Dayuuuum… that’s his push on hold before it even began!

At least we can keep it moving because quite frankly, that storyline was wack homes!

Neville doesn’t seem to be impressed with Enzo’s fighting style! He thinks he’s gonna be champion for ever! For ever ever? FOR EVER EVER!!!!!

WHOA! Brock Lesnar twice in two weeks!!! Good lord! Not even Undertaker got this treatment with Brock’s appearance dates!

GRANT BODY-P!

Don’t get it twisted – I’m not that dude who complains about Brock’s status and how he defends his Universal Championship, actually I’m that dude who doesn’t give a f**k – I got nothing to lose – Brock can do what the f**k he wants!

Not just that… Brock spoke as well! Man this is serious! Snatched the mic from Heyman like “What he’s saying is – Suplex City B!tch!”

Hold up – Seth Rollins just teefed a move from Apollo Crews! He can’t do that! Standing reverse moonsault while opponent was on the canvas!

Uh oh! I like this! If Emma defeats Mickie James, it’s hashtag city! However, if Mickie wins, Emma can’t say she started this women’s revolution sh!t!grant-body-p

What the rarse? They changed Emma’s music! Er… I don’t get it! 2K games – don’t worry about that!

OH SNAP! Emma defeats Mickie James! Maybe the music change was worth it! Emma started the women’s revolution! I know! We learn something new every day! Poor Mickie, maybe she needs to find a new love interest or something…  back in the day she wanted to get her scissors on with Trish… god dayuuuum!

I am quite shocked that they are running John Cena Vs Roman Reigns at the No Mercy joint… I mean, it has big BIG WrestleMania written all over it… even Mike Cole said so!

John Cena just says he has no Fs to give! Well nor do I Cena! Join the club!

Er… Double R.. rubbing it in about retiring the Undertaker! I respect it but don’t do that!

Cena just called Reigns a ‘Corporate created John Cena bootleg!’ Yo keep me outta this!

Cena is killing Reigns on how to cut a promo! Reigns is now going for low blow techniques on the mic! Reigns is recovering though!!! I think they have thrown the script away here!

“I’m still here because you can’t do your job!” Damn Reigns!!! HOLY SMOKES! I feel bad for you… I really do! The likes of CM P**k and The Rock have struggled against Cena’s lyrical sword!

Trust me – the IWC are gonna be partying hard with those memes this week!

Elias Samson is the ‘Elvis’ of the WWE? So does that mean he’s gonna dead on the toilet?

GRANT BODY-P!

You done it now Elias –  you provoked Jerry Lawler! I hope Lawler doesn’t send for his singlet…you know what happened last time!

What is this nonsense? Pelvis Wesley? Southpaw Regional Wrestling? GETTHEF**KOUTTAHERE! Put on Alexa and Sasha sexy @$$! Oh lawwwd…

Let me get my mint & chocolate chip ice cream y’all – I wanna see Sasha brukk up Alexa blodclart all over again!

You see – Alexa & Sasha don’t like each other in real life – they should apply this in the storylines! Look how successful the feud between Edge & Matt Hardy was, or HBK Vs Bret Hart! That added intensity! Right now I’m not feeling that with Alexa & Sasha…

OH SNAP! Alexa Bliss – NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION WOMEN’S CHAMPION! Nia Jax congratulates her – OH SNAP! Nia just put her down on some Batista sh!t – BLAOW! YES!!! I smell Triple Threat… she took out Sasha as well!

BRAVO RAW! I made it through the three hours! I yawned here and there but yes! Y’all came through! Double R & Cena though… good lord! That’s what we like – throw away the robotics – keep it 100 on the mic!

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1264, August 21, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

 

HOLY SMOKES!!! I have watched Brock Lesnar since he broke in 2002… I have never, EVER seen him get f**ked up like that, not even from (in my mind) his most fierce rival – the don of dons – The Undertaker! This, plus Kevin Owens killer line “Where were you? YOU FALL OFF BUILDINGS!” 5 title changes (unlucky Naomi, no shame in losing to Natalya – she is apart of one of the greatest wrestling families ever) Summerslam was wild yo!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1264! ALEXA BLISS LOST HER TITLE! To quote that Simpsons kid – Ha-haaa!

Steph Raw

I’m not sure if I have the energy to get through the three hours… but Kurt says he has a big announcement… superstar shake up maybe as many of you dirt sheet readers keep bangin on about?

Brock kicks off the show! He will be pacing up and down while Paul be like ‘I told you so!’

The crowd be chanting SUPLEX CITY while you muthaf***az on the internet are complaining about Brock’s scheduled dates! WHO IS THE PROBLEM?

Certainly not this guy – BRAUUUUUUUUUUUN!!! This guy, THIS GUY!!! He just f**ked up Brock AGAIN!!! HOLY SMOKES! 2 thunderous powerslams!!! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!

Enzo Amore Vs Big Cass in a Brooklyn Street Fight? Where Ol’ Dirty at?

AH LIE! Big Cass injured??!!!!! Nah gotta be a work surely? Let me see the replay! Holy smokes!!! Maybe he did mash-up his leg!

Er.. how did Emma change the women’s revolution? What did she doooooooo? Oh yeah – teefing out of walmart! Oh yeah that really changed the game!

GRANT BODY-P!

Nia Jax is gonna killllllll Emma! She says #GiveEmmaCPR? Well THE GRANT SAYS #GiveEmmaSomeC-

OH MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Yes Elias – Brooklyn is a Hip Hop borough – no one wants to hear your country music garbage!

Oh snap! While Elias sason & R-Truth was fighting…

 1h1 hour ago

“like the Terminator, I’ll be back”   Asuka suffers collarbone injury at NXT TakeOver  

THE GRANT SAYS: Sounds like someone needs a massage on her collarbone… I’LL HELP…

GRANT BODY-P!

Here we go! John Cena is the surprise! Remember he is a free agent! He can go on any show! Sorry guys – you don’t get Bobby Roode just yet you fools!

UH-OH!!!! DOUBLE R! You don’t suppose they are gonna start this rivalry now?????

I don’t know what the crowd are chanting right now!

Oh I know now – they chanting UN-DER-TAY-KER!

Oh snap – Double R & John Cena were gonna come to blows and then that idiot Miz just had to ruin the runnings!

What the rarse does Bo Dallas have on???? You ain’t a pimp muthaf***a!

So let me get this right so I can understand this – Booing Cena & Reigns affects The Miz? I dunno – he sounds like a b!tch if you ask me!

Samoa Joe has come to join the party! UH-OH! JOE! JOE! JOE! JOE!

Crowd chanting YOU BOTH SUCK! Directed at Cena & Reigns! Oh dear! What did these guys doooooooo?!!!!!

I just remembered to follow that Kayla Braxton chick on the twitter – God dayuuuuuum – I saw her on Summerslams… Vincent Kennedy knows where all the kriss gyal are at!

Kayla Braxtons

DAYYUUUUUM KAYLA!!! You’re making me HIGGHHHHHHH!!! Baby baby baby – BABY!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Jason Jordan wants to test Finn Balor??? This kid is ambitious isn’t he?

I saw some stupidness on WWE’s YouTube earlier, talking about – what name should Rollins & Ambrose call themselves? THEY ARE THE SHIELD YOU DUMMY!

The Shield Vs  The Hardy Boyz? YES PLEASE!

A great contest between the two teams with the new tag champs victorious! The Hardys continue to lose… how long before they finally become ‘broken’?

OFFICIAL – BROCK LESNAR Vs BRAUN STROWMAN – WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION TITLE AT NO MERCY! Grant & Leva

I am so glad Sasha girl is the champion… one guy in the STC pointed out that Alexa Bliss got thighs… ok she got it going on but I don’t think she can hold a candle to the likes of Becky Lynch, Charlotte and especially not Nia Jax when it comes to thighs!

Mike Cole says Finn Balor was the only dude to stand up to Bray Wyatt’s deranged fighting style – er – hello??? Undertaker???? WrestleMania 31?????

Great effort by a guy I am proud to call ‘Double J’! Never that other idiot who owns the Global Farce Wrestling!

Now that Double R & Cena have mastered the art of not giving a f**k of how the crowd feels, they defeated the annoying Miz and the powerful Samoa Joe. Let the complaining on the internet begin I guess!

 

JAMMS

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