Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!
On this day, we celebrate the birthday of arguably WWE’s biggest superstar of all time – Stone Cold Steve Austin! We have to salute this man, he is the reason a lot of you wrestling fools are whining b!tches! He switched up the wrestling game to a point where all you wanna do is ‘go back to THAT era’… He switched up the crowd participation to the point where you still chant ‘WHAT?’ to a wack promo…to you jabronies who just cannot move on, even Austin himself has a solution…
Kumbaya my lord… Kumbaya…
REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like Omarosa… y’all know the story… or Eminem’s new album… I heard it ain’t too hot!
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RAW 1282! ENOUGH F**K!N ABOUT… Let’s get this Royal Rumble show on the road!
Now I wasn’t in effect last week, and Braun Strowman and my hero Kane tried to destroy each other… both lost the match… but this week, Brock Lesnar is here… heading to the ring with no fear… does he wanna test both of them? What happened to Finn Balor? I thought he was meant to fight Brock at the Rumble according to dirt sheets?
DO YOU KNOW VINNY MAC???
Well – Royal Rumble jump off – it’s a Triple threat situation, and Kurt took foot and ran!
It’s gonna be 3 monsters colliding! I hope they leave the ring in one piece in time for the Rumble… because at this point, there might not be a Royal Rumble at all!!!!
Now as I see my dude Seth Rollins, word on the street is Scott Dawson of the Revival is now cleared to wrestle…
I don’t see Scott Dawson though… I see Jason Jordan… the crowd doesn’t like that!
Jason Jordan obviously has more heart than brains! He wants to take Samoa Joe! This muthaf***a took Brock Lesnar to the edge!!!
Jason Jordan will go through Seth Rollins to get to Samoa Joe! He’s coming like scrappy-doo isn’t he!
One thing you can say about the kid…he GOES IN. He got that ruthless aggression.
While this contest rolls on, I just wanna address something real quick. If you have time to create a twitter account, focusing your energy hating on Roman Reigns & Brock Lesnar… you sir are A B!TCH, you get NO PU$$Y, the girls call you UGLY, and quite frankly, you should KILL YOURSELF. I feel bad for the Soul N Sports team on BDSIR Network who have to deal with something like this.
THE GRANT SAYS THIS: Jason Jordan, I admire your tenacity and desire to reach that brass ring, you got all that experience points behind you rocking with the best… don’t you think it’s time you went after the Intercon… what Double R is the champion? Er… OH DEAR!
WHOA! Was Bray Wyatt singing a new song other than ‘The Whole World In His Hands?’ Anyway…
I wasn’t gonna write anything on the Miztourage Vs Finn Balor but – Hideo Itami now on the main roster??? ALLLLLRIIIGGHHHHT! That’s modifications on WWE2K18 for me to do!
Mike Cole drawing out history on Hideo Itami’s TRUE debut on the main roster???? WOW!!! Stay close to your loved ones people…
They referred Hideo Itami’s super move as ‘GO TO SLEEP’! Ha! Your false wrestling god is never coming back now!
Cedric Alexander says he wants to be cruiserweight champion so bad he could taste it… well THE GRANT SAYS he wants Renee Young so bad he can taste her!!
OH MY GOD!!! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING! YO YO YO! STOP IT!!!
Now while Enzo and Drew Gulak is chatting puup… why is #HellInACell trending on twitter? Have I missed something???
Turns out it was something to do with Radar Radio & DJ Argue and some grime MCs….
Anyway I should really pay attention – Enzo is at commentary… where Nia Jax at???
Vincent Kennedy giving props to Bray Wyattth! Check it out!
So proud of him!!! HATERZ GOT NO BARS!
Wait – Enzo gets a text or whatsapp notification on his phone… you think Nia Jax sent him nudes of herself??? He had to disappear quick time!
Drew Gulak is straight up cock blocking Enzo here! What a b!tch!!!
Question – has Asuka hit 200 NXT/WWE wins in a row? Well THE GRANT SAYS – Alicia Fox isn’t breaking Asuka’s sexy @$$ today!
Aaaaaah sheeeeeeet! Stephanie McMahon sexy @$$ is here?!!! Maybe she gonna announce the women’s Royal Rumble??? Come on Steph – get my d!ck hard like you usually do!
Suddenly I’m not interested in Woken Matt Hardy’s foolishness!
Well I be damned! The Revival are back for real!!! Let’s hope they don’t get injured again! Suddenly I don’t trust Smack Talk Centre’s Pete Dunne… I’m scared he might spoil sh!t before it happens…
Seems like The Titus Brand have finally brought Dana Brooke in as their ‘logistics consultant’ or whatever she supposed to be… Yes I smell a Dear Deidre moment too…
That awkward moment when I’m no longer interested in Absolution Vs Mickie/Sasha/Bayley and I’m just waiting for Stephanie to come out…
Elias is a DUTTY BWOY! Does he really think Mickie James & Sasha Banks wanna walk with him?
And as for Bayley, doesn’t she know only nursery rhymes on some ring a round a rosey?
The Raw women’s locker room rushed the ring to beat up Absolution, as soon as Stephanie music hit – EVERYTHING STOP! You don’t think Absolution will beat down Stephanie as well do ya?
YES! A women’s rumble! Send for the YES CHANT! Now I gotta back a chick to win!