Smack Talk Centre-Raw
On a real though… get your high on. For me it’s beats, rhymes & life. Shout out to Lost Boyz, they got the tune called – Music Makes Me High. Whatever gets you high, even if it’s this wrestling sh!t, GET HIGH. Happy 4:20 Ninjas & Ninjarettes!
I’m the Infamous Informer, a.k.a. The Daywalker… and I have NO sympathy, NO compassion, NO remorse…welcome to RAW before Extreme Rules! We got STC’s Taran Wright representing! HOL’DAT BLAOW!!!
Oh snap! What’s the cage doing there??? If you see a cage on Raw, it usually means somebody gonna get buss arse in that b!atch!
Word on the street is Seth Rollins super move – the Curb Stomp is banned… how ironic is that when he said last week that the RKO is banned at Extreme Rules!!!!
OH NO! Randall cuting his promo, saying he’s gonna break Seth’s jaw?!!!! He just confirmed he’s gonna kick Seth in his head!!!! He said banning the RKO don’t mean sh!t!!!!! I KNEW IT!!!
Seth promises that Randall won’t leave the champion! I believe him! And Randall promises that everyone gonna get RKO’d!!!! Ahhhh the memories of Austin interrupting everyone’s matches and dropping stunners on muthaf***az!
Now it makes me wonder, was Randall’s language and ‘Austin-esque’ demeanor subtle hints of the attitude era that you can get on WWE Network for £9.99???
Now if I was Ambrose & Harper… I’d be careful… Voices gonna be chatting to Randall tonight! That’s all I’m saying!
Harper – there’s no point throwing Ambrose off the stage…. remember back in the days??? when there were stacks of tables awaiting the victim? Mick Foley and Chainsaw Charlie knows! Eric Bischoff knows!!! Kurt Angle knows!!!!
Ok they got away… but New Day and Lucha Dragons may not be so lucky… imagine fighting on edge knowing that Randall could strike at any moment?
By the way IWC b!tches – don’t complain that Randall is wrecking great wrestling matches – you loved that sh!t in 98 when Austin did it! So SHUDDUP!
Well, you guys say ‘New Day Sucks’… so they gonna start acting like it – Xavier Woods held the Lucha man’s legs and prevent them from going to Extreme Rules to fight Cesaro and Tyson Kidd! I thought you were about positivity guys? I warned you didn’t I??? Randall Orton – RKO to Kofi Kingston – BLAOW!!!! Even Big E was like ‘Randall don’t hit me no more!!!’
WTF is this??? Curtis Axel tryna dance on some Fandango sh!t???? Yo Randall – get back out here!!!! In the meantime, Tamara – entertain the Daywalker!!!!
All you jabronies talking about who would win between Batman & Superman… Blade would f**k em both up!!!!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
Yeaaaah thank goodness!!! My Dude Triple TEEF!!!! He got some sh!t to say about Tough Enough… ok ssshhhhh…
Yes Triple I’m sure a lot of those fat muthaf***az have dreamed of being a WWE superstar… yes so has the Infamous Informer, I got my music and everything… matter fact let me show you how it would go…
So what I lost to Ryback…. Ryback is a bad man!
Anyway back to this sh!t… Glenn is handing in his notice to Triple in two weeks? Seth is running his mouth, Glenn now speaking like Kane???? OHHHH SH!!!!!T!!!! Triple, just give Kane back his mask!!! Word up I can’t stand this suit wearing Glenn… well I don’t really but it’s knowing what he was like – the man had Undertaker shook for crying out loud!
Anyway Paige – it’s NEVER your house!!! Here comes my star! The Wife that got away! Naomi! She gonna take on
Brie Bella! and Brie… you gotta sexy body I’ll give you that…. you still gon lose!
Hold up – Triple is like – ‘you are corporate, you are no longer hell fire & brimstone…’ they teasing that sh!t people!!!
That’s one thing me & Seth agree on – DESTROY Ziggler! Ok that’s enough – Naomi -the STAR! Come out girl!
They need to change her music too… It won’t be long before I find something suitable…
I’m so glad Paige is out the game! It’s NOT YOUR HOUSE! Keep your @$$ in the hospital!!!!
GET HER NAOMI! DESTROY BRIE COMPLETELY!!!!
I GOT IT!!!! Naomi’s new theme tune according to Grant, because like Angela Davis, Naomi don’t take no sh!t!!!!!!
You listen to that tune – No Nonsense… Straight to the point, Stand for what you believe!!!!! That’s why I love Naomi, go out and get what’s yours girl! The World Wrestling Federation Divas Champion!!!!
Next victim – Heath Slater! What was that about being new US Champ Heath??? RKO – BLAOW!!!!! Erick Rowan had sense and walked away because he knew!!!!!
Yep – my dude Roman Reigns can’t cut a promo to you guys, so he’s like f**k that – I feel like fighting! He wants to f**k up the Big S…. Bo Dallas???? Dude – turn back! BO-Lieve you can Run For The Hills!!!! This guy is hard ears – he gonna get punched in his mouth for saying something slick….
Yep – what did I tell ya! Well Roman & Big Show gonna fight til only one man can stand up…I notice the booing has stopped for Reigns now! Wait til he goes for the title again…
Yes – I can ryde to Sheamus new music… the IWC hating on the stipulation – ‘Kiss My Arse’ matc – Wack Ryder is still employed by WWE???? I smell just another victim! (Shout out to Tazz, he left the TNA joint because they won’t help him decorate the kitchen table!)
I can’t believe he beat up Wack Ryder then asked him if he’s alright???!! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! YES SHEAMUS! He just asked the Albany crowd ‘Are they not entertained’???? Hell yeah I was entertained!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
Any way where was I? Oh yes… the IWC b!tches, I see you hating on the stipulation – so w’happen – you didn’t like it when Jerry The King Lawler had to kiss Bret Hart’s feet? You didn’t like The Rock Vs Billy Gunn match? (I can’t remember who won that one…) And of course – the Vincent Kennedy Kiss My @$$ club? Are you telling me you didn’t like that sh!t??? F**KOUTTAHERE!!! Mad ‘Sports Entertainment’ in YOUR YOUTH – but you want wrestling… do you know how dumb you sound? That’s what The Infamous Informer does – Catches you f***az out every time!
Muthaf***az still hating on Cena…there’s no helping them… I mean really. I’m glad I’m not one of them people… their life must be mad miserable!
Hold up – Cena & Rusev gotta touch all four corners to win the Russian Chain match? F**k the four corners – destroy each other with the chain! I’m sure Triple & Kane didn’t do that at Judgment Day 2001!
Shout out to Mike Knoxxx – it’s true – I’m not listening to Cena right now – He’s on some – BLA-BLA-BLA! BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA!!!!!!!
OH SNAP!!!! Wait a minute – Glenn gonna fight Cena for the US title??? Uh-OH!!!! It should be advantage Cena – he hasn’t got his mask on!
Maybe Undertaker actually talked sense into his humanised brother???
Oh snap! Cena tried his 5 moves and Glenn didn’t move!!!! Er…. Cena, I might have to pray for ya…
But Glenn’s Chokeslam didn’t hold Cena down!!!! Glenn sends for the tombstone! Cena counter technique – FU – BLAOW!!! No point getting bex – we knew Cena was gonna win! Waste of time and energy doing that sh!t!
Anyone see The Marine 4???? nah me neither….
Sorry Rusev…. that chain looks like any other chain I’ve seen in the WWE… what’s so ‘Russian’ about it????
Hip Hop fans – that advert that keeps coming on in between RAW – The Windows Spectre 360 – Doesn’t that beat sound a bit J Dilla-ish??? Get at me – PON DI TWITTA – @MZATheInfamous!
Look here now… The Miz & Mizdow fighting over the brand…. what sort of sh!t is that??? Ani James, show me your ‘brand’…
I’d rather Ani back that @$$ up so I can go Grantington Steele up her cratches!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
YES!!!!! So what if Summer Rae turned evil against MizDow, The Miz takes the mic…. “Because I’m The Miz… and I’m – ” RKO – BLAOW!!! BEAUTIFUL!!!! It was like Austin dropping the stunner to Jeff Jarrett!
I don’t know why Seth keeps f**k!n around with Glenn… J&J security talking sh!t on the twitta… You see how social media can get you inna trouble??? Someone remind Seth that they haven’t banned the chokeslam and the tombstone! Or the car battery and the box of matches for that matter?
Right we gonna find out the truth! Ziggler out to compete against Rollins… has Rollins super move being banned??? Because if the Infamous Informer sees that sh!t executed with precision… I will be building a special chair this week!
Looks like it’s true! I think Rollins found a new super move! That took out Ziggler one ti….. uh-oh… Triple TEEF??? Glenn? The cage is coming down! I knew it! Somebody gonna get f**ked up in that b!tch! Rollins thought he was clever by ‘shielding’ himself no pun intended! The Viper slid in! Rollins tried to escape – RKO – BLAOW!!! Extreme Rules… BOTH super moves banned… Glenn as the ‘gatekeeper’… I mean doesn’t that sound ‘Big red Monster-ish’??? Calling it from now – Rollins retains the title…. KANE next in line at the Payback joint. He gonna find that mask… And THENNNNNNN!!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.