Tag Archives: Erick Rowan

Monday Night Raw #1137, March 9, 2015!!!

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The Infamous Informer

I have a question for y’all, If Biggie Smalls was alive, do you think he would have appeared on WWE? Do you think he would have performed at a RAW or WrestleMania??? I say he would have. People say that if Big & Pac were alive, we wouldn’t have guys like Wiz Khalifa, who IS performing, that’s the part where I take my essential toilet break… unless of course he gets interrupted by BRRRROCCCK LESSSNAR!!!

I’m the Infamous Informer, and I have NO sympathy, NO compassion, NO remorse, and if Khalifa gets BUSS ARSE, I will……LAAAAAAAUGGGH!!!!!

Biggie Smalls Is Da Illest! RAW #1137, HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZThe Authority are proud of Randall Keith Orton!!!! Little do they know that Randall is playing them all!!! B!TCHES!!!

Listen to the Authority d!ck riding Randall!!! See Randall is like that dude – Agito Makashima… don’t know who he is? He’s the DON in the Guyver Anime Series! GUYVER III MUTHAF***A!

GUYVER 3Randall is gonna go all the way with this!!!!! Just like an undercover cop!!!!

Oh snap! Randall’s putting the Authority on BLAST!!!! It’s true – they are supposed to be OFFICIAL bad mans!!! They are acting like b!tches!!!!

Remember just a few years back you jabronies were saying Randy Boreton??? Remember that???? Now you cheer him…. Who’s changed???? HA! EXPOSED!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

They got that first segment done in just under 15 minutes! Very good!!!!

What the hell is Stardust doing with the IC Title??? Damn the IC title is getting f**ked like Suzette!!!! (Who’s Suzette???) I don’t know… ask GZA!!!! (Wu-Tang fans know what I did there!)

See that’s why me nah support Wade Barrett again, lost to Danny Bryan, he can’t tek di pressure… hits the bullhammer on Danny while he was celebrating… little biatch… next minute Dean F**k!ng Ambrose comes out and claps down Barrett!!! Haha!!!!

Doesn’t look like Goldust vs Stardust is running at WrestleMania at all… that’s cool with me still… I can ride to that! Goldust in the Battle Royal maybe? Stardust in the ladder match? No problems here!

Er Stardust… leaving the IC Title on the ring post doesn’t sound too smart!

What I wanna know is, how come Wade Barrett hasn’t come for his title???? What is he a sissy???? HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh here he is! Wade tryna beat on Ambrose, but he’s brought Ziggler, Harper, Danny and Stardust in the brawl!

I love this IC storyline!!!! Now we got 7 cats fighting over the IC title! But R-Truth is a clever muthaf***a! Wade Barrett getting bex with Truth because he got the title… So Truth is like – here, now stop your noise! Barrett retreating up the stairs only to find out he got the toy belt! That time Truth run gone with the real title! OH LAWWWWD!!!!

Big ups to Connor The Crusher! It’s funny, we the fans were talking about Connor getting inducted, (he beat Triple TEEF!!!!) Not only is he inducted, he gets the Ultimate Warrior award! THAT IS DAN!!!!

Connor beat Triple TEEF

You think about it, not many have beat Triple because he uses the hammer! But Connor did it! RESPECT!

Oh no…. pay attention, Paul Heyman is here!!!! OHHHHHH SH!!!!!!!!!!T! He got a video for us!

What a nice man… Heyman shows us a look at Roman Reigns and his career….

GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!! Paul Heyman might have out done himself from last weeks promo!!! He broke the mic again!!! He even hinted that Brock will UNIFY the UFC and WWE title!!! Can he do that??? BACKSIDE! Now the title no longer belongs to WWE? And if WWE tries a screwjob move or sends Seth Rollins to cash his cheque…. Somebody Gotta Die! If I Go, YOU GOTTA GO!!!

 

BACKFOOT! Erick Rowan won a match!!!!! only because Big Show hit the Sean P on Glenn…. That ain’t the issue hold up…

Now look what you two have done… you sent Stephanie’s sexy @$$ out here…. oh hang on that’s a good thing!

Yes – you two jabronies need to fix up – Stephanie – just give the man back his mask if you want him to be a don again… stop this Sunday School Trousers crap!

Look at the state of Wiz Khalifa??? Him nah dress proper! Hang on – look at Wizdow! He has ‘TGOD’ written on his hoodie? WTF does ‘T’ stand for??? If I find out it is a shot at Wu-Tang’s U-God….

STC WRESTLEMANIA 31 SIGN BDSIRSo while Wiz Khalifa chats his nonsense wearing a John Cena shirt walking round with sh!t locks… let the Infamous Informer entertain you with a proper tune, since we are celebrating Biggie’s life right now…

OH MY GOD!!! Summer Rae & Eva Marie dep pon mi telly??!!!! Let me pay attention… let me see if All Red Everything has improved her fighting style…

Oh – it’s a singles competition??? Ah sh!t!!!!

Right AJ Lee won – enough of that sh!t… now Sting explains why he wants to f**k up Triple Teef…

Well I can’t lie, during the Monday Night Wars and the attitude era, WCW was losing the war… who was WWF champion for the majority of that time? TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEF!!! He used the hammer! I told you that man is NO GOOD! Amy Winehouse warned yo @$$!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Bless Curtis Axel! He’s after the US title at Big Big WrestleMania???? I say let him through! The crowd love him!

He’s like a glorified jobber – I’m not sure if Hulk Hogan or Mr Perfect will like what they are seeing here… oh well… no WrestleMania for Curtis Axel…. hey – maybe he will win the Battle Royal???

Well Cena did warn Rusev that if he talks sh!t about America, Cena gonna f**k him up….

…and he did using the STF super move! I smell an I QUIT match or some sort of submission match… look at Cena’s face when Lana accepted the challenge? BACKSIDE!!!! That ain’t heroic at all! It’s like Spiderman in the venom outfit!!!

Do I smell a Fatal 4 Way tag team championship match at WrestleMania as well? Cesaro/Kidd Vs Usos Vs New Day Vs.. the Ascension maybe? I hope so… I can ride to that! Everyone must decorate the kitchen table!

The MAN in the PURPLE SUIT!WHAAAAAAAAT!!! Naomi Vs Natalya right now???? Ok where’s the cocoa butter….

THAT’S WHAT’S UP!!! Naomi win again!!! Dayuuum I am fixing my trousers right now! Oh hang on what is this Los Jobberdore nonsense…Ok let me rephrase my vision – I smell a tag team turmoil match at WrestleMania…

While that’s on I’m gonna take a look at Ani James on babestation… she’s so fine – she makes my eyes roll into the back of my head!

We got 14,107 chanting that muthaf***a’s name… I just wanna line em all up and throw those d!ckhead wrestling fans in the concentration camps, Grant Hitler on they @$$!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Hmph! Here comes that outta order & bright Wyatt, he doesn’t watch the news! F**k!n with Undertaker is like throwing yourself head first in the grave and calling for the people to dig in the dirt!

14,107 with their iPhone lit up, you guys gonna get buss arse!

You see what happen when you f**k around with the urn? The powers come out, lights go out, all you see is lightning, the bell tolls, suddenly Sister Abigail’s armchair appears, all you hear is the Don’s voice… YOU WILL, REST IN PEACE!!!! But Wyatt seems to be laughing about it! The rocking chair bunn up! Wyatt goose cook! And he don’t even know it!!!!

I don’t think it’s worth talking about the handicap match between Roman Reigns and Seth/Randall… what I can say is this… NOW they are building that WrestleMania flava!

How dumb is Seth Rollins! Randall told him straight – he was gonna f**k him up… and that’s exactly what he did! Seth goes for the tag – Randall put his middle fingers up!!! Did he just do that? I think he did! Then the voices in his head chat to him, and told him to F**k up Seth Rollins! Destroyed him from pillar to post! FROM PILLAR TO POST! Vicious chair shots! a DDT into the concrete floor! sets up announce table, measures Rollins, RKO – BLAOW!!!!!!

The question remains – why didn’t Stephanie come out to stop this one? She did when it came to Big Show & Glenn! Oh that’s right… she remembered what happened in 2009!!!! Yep – best to stay out of Randall’s way when the voices chat to him!

THEY SAY, THAT WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS… THEY’RE RIGHT!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1094: May 12, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

Since WWE likes to sign up new divas for a development deal, they might be interested in this one! Name: Solange Knowles… she put her boots to Jay-Z’s Candy @$$! Blows up Facebook, everybody put it pon dem wall like they found the breaking news… but what I wanna know is: WHY? Why did Solange spazz out on Jay and Beyoncé just stood there… what did Jay do??? People quick to post it because they jumped on the bandwagon of hating Jay-Z. You sheeple are foolish! (Oh you’re defending Illum-) STOP YOUR NOISE! You’re the ones with your sheep masks following the buzzards!

And that story overshadowed the fact that Chef Raekwon is heading to the studio to lace some verses for Wu-Tang’s A Better Tomorrow album….

ENOUGH OF THIS SH!T – Isn’t Raw in the UK this week? I dare you Zeb – come to our shores… I’M BEGGIN YA!!!

RAW #1094, HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZI guess we’re not in the UK… F**K the long talk! The Shield are like – Is that all you got Evolution? We are gonna straight – F**K YOU UP!!!

And that’s what they set out to do! As soon as Triple come out his limo, The Shield rushed him and his crew!!! LAWD HAVE MERCY!!!

Oh no that muthaf***a has got that muthaf***!n deportation list again, now he’s added Adam Rose on that list and look what happen… here he comes with his party crew, and f**ked it up for Wack Swagger! I’ve just learned that this Adam Rose dude is British as well… the STC are on split feelings on this one! I notice no one is on that We The People sh!t…. if only they listened to me, but NOOOOOOOO!!! I’m just a black man who doesn’t care about the Chris B£^@!+ sh!t…

Here comes Paige… one of the people Zeb Colter doesn’t like…. I look at you all in disgust!

GRANT - BODY - P

Alicia Fox is out to f**k up Paige isn’t she??? Claims she doesn’t fit in… well durrrr!!! Paige will tell you she doesn’t fit in, because she’s the Anti Diva! She ain’t gonna look pretty like say Eva Marie and have no skills… Because she HAS skills brings sexual appeal to a lot of the STC guys! She still doesn’t stimulate me… I’m sorry!

All those power moves Alicia, and Paige out wrestles your @$$??? Damn girl! Kicking up a fuss ain’t gotta do sh!t, go back and fix up! And I don’t mean taking off with JAY-BEE’s cowboy hat and gone with it!

Tell me it’s not so…. did the Authority win the war after all that? Danny Bryan has to go away for neck surgery…ain’t that a b!tch… what does this mean? Has he gotta give up his titles???? This is f**ked up word up! I guess that means Cena can reclaim his throne…. I was hoping for that alleged Buried Alive match at Payback…. let’s see how long Danny is out the game for… Kurt Angle Danny Bryan

RECORD SKIP – there’s now talk of Luke Harper and Erick Rowan possibly fighting the Usos for the tag team titles???? UH-OH!!! I sense the end of the Usos reign… let’s hope it’s not the case but either way it makes for good storyline!

You mean to tell me that after that victory by Cena & The Usos, Bray Wyatt is laughing about it and says ‘he realises what he must do’???? This is what I mean with Bray! You can’t just defeat him in a wrestling competition, you must DESTROY HIM COMPLETELY!!!!

Oh dear Evolution – dem mans are BEX!!! Triple TEEF with the long talk – ‘We gonna pick apart Dean Ambrose-uuuuuuuuh, then we gonna tear the wings from Seth Rollins-uuuuuuuh, then Roman Reigns is gonna get the slow beating-uuuuuuh! Because at Payback-uuuuuuuuh, it’s gonna be’ – SHUDDUP!!! The Shield rushed them again!!!! Batista is fuming! He wants to test Roman Reigns later!!! And he will probably get brukk up too! Why you bex for Batista? RZA & Raekwon have reached their agreements! The album will be completed!

Back to our Total Laydeez, now Natalya and Nikki are competing in a match because Natalya made a god-awful painting of Nikki and John, I thought it was a sweet gift but it’s led to a wrestling contest so here we go, the other ladies are rating the wrestling moves… cameramen what are you doing??? Get the cameras on Cameron! She got the new single out! What – Ray J is not there??? Shut up and tek de picture!

Nikki won the match… I suppose there is a penalty for giving a nice gift from the goodness of your heart…

 

When the rain comes down,

I know it’s falling for me, and only for me…

And the pain comes around, somewhere else I’d rather be,

I know what I’ve done, Please forgive me…

I bet that’s what’s going through Natalya’s head right now…

Damn son I’m trying to get into this Sheamus Vs Ryback match but I’m tired yo… where’s Paul Heyman to give me joke???

Ok I don’t get Heyman but I get Stephanie McMahon….. OH YEAH!!!!

Hang on, I think I get the picture…. she’s gonna take the titles from Danny… or maybe not…. oh sh!t!!! IT’S KAAAAAANE!!! He just drew Danny’s carcass out to the stage!! Oh lawwwd this means Brie is vulnerable!!!! She still has to come to work!!!!

Danny taken away in an ambulance, Stephanie going on like she’s sincere… Brie pushes her one side and did you see the look on Stephanie’s face???? I saw Vincent Kennedy…. Oh dear Brie I wouldn’t want to be you!!!!

Now this is the point where I cuss down Fandango to the ground because he stole my beautiful Layla… but if he’s fighting Dolph Ziggler then we have a common enemy… COME ON FANDANGO!!! DESTROY HIM!!!

OH F**K!!!! Layla might have cost Fandango the match here… well Layla, that’s what you get for dissin me…wait – Fandango LOVES YOU??? WHOA!!! He don’t love you like I do Layla…

Aiyo, he don’t really love you like I do
Kiss your feet, make love to you, like I do
Wake you up, in the night tank and surprise you
Cross my heart, swear, put my hand on the bible
I’m not a cold-blooded killa, baby, I cry too
The best thing for me is when I’m laying beside you
Turn you over, open up, get up inside you
He a woman beater, no doubt, and he lies too…

Yo what up Hacksaw Jim Duggan!!!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

F**K ME that Lana…she that chick that you f**k her with her clothes on…. if she doesn’t have a man, something seriously wrong with the world! Why hasn’t WWE got her on book signings in the UK damnit??!!!

So Lana sets Yusef on Hacksaw… he was ready to take him but Big E Langston thought – that ain’t happening… only to get brukk up…. damn, how many more black wrestlers gotta die??? First R-Truth, Xavier Woods, then Kofi, now Big E???? WTF???Racial man Racial!!!!

I’m glad that Sandow got rid of that Magneto sh!t…. they gave him back the mic to chat… Oh Cody Rhodes why did you interrupt him for? I was looking forward to Sandow to SILENCE!! the crowd!

Now we realise what Bray Wyatt is gonna do! Beat down Cena until he can no longer stand??? Last Man Standing…. Payback… OH MAN!!!!

Enough of that sh!t – Batista! Roman Reigns! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

Evolution and The Shield already at ringside – you already know this ain’t ending well…

…for Evolution!!! They tried to be teef and got half the locker room to rush the ring to beat down the Shield! But the Hounds of Justice sent for reinforcements of their own in the form of a steel chair each and beat down the jabronies! It was like power rangers beating down the puttys but militant style! Has Ryback got the record for most Shield powerbombs into the canvas??? He has to surely!!!

Well evolution hinted at a stipulation, I long to see what that could be and by the looks of those chairs how they were swung it could be a further hint… but damn, Danny Bryan out the game???? F***************K!!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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