Tag Archives: Goldust

Monday Night Raw #1268 , September 18, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Aah man, how do I say goodbye…

We lost another wrestling legend y’all… Bobby The Brain Heenan has returned to the essence and reunited with his broadcast partner – Gorilla Monsoon. Now the HWF (Heaven Wrestling Federation) roster is finally complete. They have their champions, (Warrior, Savage, Eddie) Their mid-carders (Perfect, Rick Rude, Owen Hart) Their women’s division (Chyna, Elizabeth) Their monster heels (Umaga, Viscera) Their babyface (Dusty) their top heel (Piper) Even their jobbers (Test, Crash Holly, Junkyard Dog) and everyone in between (Bulldog, Boss Man) And GOD himself is the general manager/commissioner – he’s signing these stars!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1268! Shout out to Natalie Sawyer… damn that girl is so fine! If I had my hands on her – I’d show NO MERCY on her p-(FLATLINE!!!!)

Steph Raw

I got NO refreshments… oh lawwwwwd… this is bad news! How am I gonna make it through the show?

Yo this week’s WWF wrestling better be as hot as the feud between Grace & Sienna on Hollyoaks!

GRANT BODY-P!

Ok I missed the first few minutes so I don’t know if there was a 10 Bell salute… what I do know… is that The Miz suddenly thinks he’s father of the year just because he breed up Maryse… and tries to talk down at Kurt Angle… you think Jason Jordan can defeat the Miz for the intercontinental championship at the No Mercy joint? F**k all that – Alexa Blitch is on against all curves and no brakes – a woman Redman would be proud of in Nia Jax… with that said… I had to throw some chips on… a brotha hungry!

..and just like that… I’m already fed up – the streams are f**k!n up, reminding me not to be a cheap arse and watch Raw properly on Sky Sports… well THE GRANT SAYS – I’m gonna eat my chips… and when I’m dun, me garne ah mi bed! I know it’s the go home show leading to the PPV… but my patience worn thin. This would not happen if it was Smackdown let me tell ya!

TUESDAY MORNING

Yes jabronies I am blessed to see another day, now I’m on catch up mode with this wrestling sh!t… and what do I see? Alexa Bl!tch running away from Nia Jax… that’s your World Wrestling Federation Women’s champion, your sweetheart… f**kouttahere! No I didn’t roll out the wrong side of the bed… this is Grant every day! Who you know like Grant????

Sasha comes out to tell Alexa – get your B!TCH @$$ back in the ring! Nia Jax claps down Alexa from the other side – BLAOW!

Shout out to the Soul n Sports massive & crew – before Raw I agreed that it is now Nia’s time to become the champion… but after watching her dominant performance… er… knowing WWE’s logic… er… oh dear…

Er… BAYLEY???? She looks bex for once!!!! She actually looks like she wants to f**k Nia up! WHOA!

Well obviously it would take the combined might of Alexa, Sasha & Bayley to mash her up when all they did was shoulder block Nia into the canvas…

Where does Alexa think she’s going trying to fren up – fren up Bayley & Sasha? They gave her the Ol Dirty Bastard look – GETTOUTTAHERE!!!

ODB GETTOUTTAHERE

“Nostalgia will fade just like these WHAT chants…” Sorry Cesaro the What chant will live forever… it cannot be stopped! It will only get stronger!

I gotta agree with Ambrose – Ii wouldn’t let my brothers dressed like battyman wannabe T-800s!

GRANT BODY-P!

I like The Shield’s formation suicide dives! That’s cool!!!! The Bar or The Club was not ready for that sh!t!

The Club lose again… oh god damnit this is the match we should have at No Mercy… what the blodclaaat! The Club should have won that sh!t to make things interesting… but nooooooo….

114 match losing streak??? If Apollo Crews loses to Curt Hawkins… then I will review my Raw card… but that sexy @$$ Asuka is coming though… she might be the saving grace…

Spinning spin out powerbomb – BLAOW! Now Hawkins is 0-115!

Wait a second – did Double R cuss bad words?!!!! How can you fools not like this guy? Oh yeah I forgot – you are all BUZZARDS with iPhoneXs lighting that sh!t up when a blubbering idiot walks to the ring with his flashlight!

GRANT BODY-P!

Double R bring up old sh!t about Cena running down The Rock… Aaah good times hahaa!

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See that’s the only time Double R can get one up on Cena – when Cena is not here… five years later Cena is doing the same sh!t The Rock is doing… y’all know me – I’m Team Bring It all day… but Double R said something that made me think – maybe he shot himself in the foot – Cena believed he would beat The Rock at WrestleMania 28 – that went wrong… Double R cuts a similar promo like Cena did 5 five years ago – I have a feeling Cena gonna beat Double R and that’s gonna bring doubt and bad vibes in Double R’s Psyche… YES – that’s how it’s going – Cena wins… it eats away at Double R and consumes him until they have their rematch! That’s my prediction right there!

Massive big ups to Bobby The Brain Heenan. I will keep it 100 like I always do – Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler will always be my favourite commentary team of all time… but Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan were the original commentary team, not just that – you look at all the sketches they did back in the day – you don’t get that sh!t now word up. You won’t hear me say ‘he’s the greatest that ever did it’ unless I am a true fan – Ok I put it to you… in all the times you have read my blogs or listened to my podcasts on BDSIR Network – when have you heard me hold Heenan in high regard? Outside of the Royal Rumble 92 special show me and Shad did? Just keeping it 100…

Dustin Rhodes? So he’s now the artist formerly known as Goldust again? Oh no that became a horror story last time that happened!

Don’t worry I get it – it’s playing off the storyline Wyatt got with Finn Balor – I already did the knowledge!

Yo Rhodes is going IN on Wyatt! ‘Next Undertaker my dutty foot!’

…then he went in – right into a Sister Abigail – BLAOW! Er.. oh dear…

Finn Balor now on that cryptic sh!t! Oh Bray, you wonder why I refuse to light up my phone when you come out to the ring…

GRANT BODY-P!

So this six-pack challenge thing – Elias Vs Double J vs Hardy Boyz Vs Miztourage  winner fights the Miz at No Mercy? YAWN…. NEXT!!!

The Miz is so TEEEEEF! He doesn’t want Jeff Hardy or Jason Jordan to win! They need to kick him down and get him out of the equation!

OHHHH The Miz has done it now! He just called Jason Jordan a ‘Jon Snow’! he can’t do that! Oh boy – backing Double J all the way here… but that Miz is SO TEEF!!! Calling it now – Double J wins by disqualification, Jason Jordan gets bex, the Miztourage beats on him… then finally Kurt comes out, and hits the olympic slam on the Miz… either that or tries to break the ankle…

WHAAAAAAHAHAHA!!!! “I will feel great after I beat Neville at No Mercy how you doin?”
Did you see Enzo’s face when he heard – BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! Braun just boxed him down one time – BLAOW!!!GRANT WU TANG FOREVER

Braun picked up Enzo one hand – CHOKESLAAAAAAM! BLAOW! I don’t think Enzo gonna make it to No Mercy now! Neville must be deddin!

The running powerslam!!! BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! Holy smokes! Enzo is probably dead by now!

There was NO NEED for that Red Arrow super move Neville!!! Oh my days that was funny!

Let’s keep on this Braun sh!t! He says he’s gonna take Suplex City and stomp it to the ground! Better listen to him Heyman… or ELSE!

Oh man – if I was the referee – I would let Brock & Braun go at it – a simple wrestling match just won’t do boys and girls!

Paul Heyman is straight exposing Mike Cole as the wack journalist that he is! Mike Cole you wack homes!

Brock is thanking Braun for coming at him like this! Remember boys and girls – don’t complain on the internet!

 

 

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Monday Night Raw #1251, May 15, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Indy killer

So there is some sort of indie Vs mainstream wrestling war which rooted between Rip Rogers & Randy Orton… in the middle of it, Will Ospreay, Bubba Ray Dudley and god knows who else. I don’t know about you guys, but I spent the whole weekend playing Street Fighter V for free…

GRANT BODY-P!

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GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1251! IT’S NOT A RUMOUR! Fix Strowman’s elbow… OR ELSE!!!!

Looks like Double R really won this war right? You fans lose again!

Already I’m yawning…. BAD SIGN!

It’s KURRRRRRRRRT!!!! I must ask Jerry Lawler about calling that Armageddon Hell In a Cell….

Kurt – you might as well drop the cell on them because it’s an Extreme Rules Fatal 5 Way match! Winner fights Brock Lesnar! Seth Rollins, Samoa Joe, Bray Wyatt, Finn Balor, and Double R!

Wait – does Double R like that sh!t? Or is it the fans who doesn’t like that sh!t?

Double R believes there should not be a #1 contender! He speaks the truth! He retired The Undertaker! He took Strowman out the game! I wouldn’t argue that but Finn Balor never lost that title! How can you argue that! He beat Double R on his first night! That is true! How can you argue Samoa Joe? Took out Seth Rollins on his first day! Samoa destroys people!

You can argue Bray Wyatt though… he ain’t no face of fear – he loses almost every feud!

As for Seth Rollins – he ‘slayed’ the evil Triple Teef! You can make a case for all 5 – er I mean 4 men!

That is one thing I am so looking forward to when WWE 2K18 drop – Sheamus & Cesaro entrance! Gotta be in my Top 5 entrances right now!

It amuses me that Alicia Fox and Noam Dar appealed against the decision by the ref last week. Yes her shoulders were up and the ref did not see it… but Sasha is only gonna brukk her up again! I gotta rate Alicia for keeping herself relevant though…

Er – what – Alicia Fox won? WHOA!!! I hold my hands up!!!!

Dean Ambrose – The Champion! The Miz – the Challenger! World Wrestling Federation Intercontinetal Championship!

No one’s ever done that! No one has ever kicked out of the Skull Crushing Finale! haha I’m f**k!n with you Miz… your supermove isn’t exactly the Tombstone Piledriver now is it?

GRANT BODY-P!

Maryse tried to teef, and The Miz tried to kick him in his dick…BLOCKED!!! So Ambrose thought – well F**k you! Kick you in your d!ck!!!!

“I thought Miz was trying to hook the inner thigh of Ambrose…” COREY GRAVES DON’T GIVE ME JOKE! A ‘STRONG STYLE INNER THIGH GRAB!!!’

ODB GETTOUTTAHERE

GETTOUTTAHERE!!!!

Oh hell naw – Alexa Bliss – the self proclaimed Goddess… I don’t worship that little pork scratchings!!!! This is the part where I put my pizza in the oven…

I give points where points is due – Alexa Bliss SMASHED THE AUDIENCE! The crowd hitting her with What? Chants during her promo, and Alexa is like ‘Say what again with you are a failure’ and the New Jersey crowd FAILED THE TEST! ‘Exactly!’ New Jersey crowd – YOU ARE A FAILURE! YOU WANNA SLEEP WITH YOUR SISTER LIKE HER NAME IS CERSEI!

Alexa says – Bayley cannot get extreme! Does hugging translate to steel chair shots to the backbone? I guess we gonna find out at the Extreme Rules joint! Alexa gonna lick Bayley down with the kendo stick! OH LAWWWWWWWWWD! I think Bayley gonna cry! Alexa has gone full Harley Quinn! Shout out to everybody getting that Injustice game! I won’t see you online – I’m a Tekken guy!

GRANT BODY-P!

NOW I will put the pizza in the oven…

Unbelivable! The Miz of all people complaining about Deano being teef, and The Miz is one of the biggest TEEFS there is!

Ok – I’m REALLY going to put that pizza in the oven… sorry cruiserweight brothers!

Oh no… CM P**k chants… oh man they REALLY wanna get in Cersei Lannister! Let’s be real – Cersei is fine – she AIN’T MY SISTER!

Cersei Lena headey

Watch STC’s Ed Mulhall try and find nudes of this chick – only to find I have seen her naked ‘sort of’ in Game Of Thrones!

GRANT BODY-P!

(Apparently she was actually pregnant at the time she shot that infamous walk of atonement scene so they got a stunt double…Shame…SHAME! RING THE BELL!)

WHAT? A kendo stick on a pole match for Bayley & Alexa? NO! I think Wardle is right – Vince Russo is back in the creative team! Who let him in?!!!!!

I gotta say I am enjoying RAW this week! Bravo boys and girls! and to think, there’s no Braun Strowman!

Let me watch Finn Balor’s entrance… then I’ll grab my pizza – it should be ready by now!

Oh man… you wrestling fans ain’t gonna like this – a less than 100% Double R defeats Finn Balor in a physical match! In the words of Gordon Ramsay, I say this to you fans… ‘f**k off will ya…’

OH SNAP!!! GOLDUST TURNED EVIL! Looks like Goldust ain’t gonna send any love letters to R-Truth! THE GRANT SAYS – R-Truth – consider yourself lucky! It could have been worse – you could have been Ahmed Johnson!

GRANT BODY-P!

Titus O’Neill is actually giving me joke doing the Enzo routine in a full suit!!!! I’m not too sure if the crowd are chanting ENZO – or @$$Hole?!!! This gig is actually giving Apollo Crews some character! I support this!

Apollo Crews doesn’t take selfies! It’s a female trait! Kick Enzo in his head yes!

I don’t think TJP really wants to be a bad guy… he sure as hell doesn’t act like one… he wants that title – and Neville knows it… keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer right?!

Now that the storylines have slightly changed… does Bray and Finn still have beef? I’m still hoping that the ‘demon king’ appears from out the darkness and assaults Wyatt during this match…

Nope – Samoa Joe – TEEEEEEEF! Is it safe to say that we can automatically take Samoa Joe and Seth Rollins out of the winning equation?! Samoa Joe thought he was going to double team with Wyatt to beat down Rollins – SWITCH – Wyatt hit the Sister Abigail on Joe – BLAOW!!! Wyatt is not someone you make your bredrin! He learnt that after Randall!

GRANT BODY-P!

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Monday Night Raw #1174, November 23, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Now that your time of the month is over, you got all your complaints out your system, you threw away your wrestling tampons… always the same every month… ‘The PPV was sh!t…Roman didn’t turn heel, I wanted Kevin Owens to be champ, The Wyatts should have beat the Undertaker – they are getting buried… blah blah blah blah blah’ – SHUT THE F**K UP!

I thought you wasn’t watching again? Hey – The Only Way is Essex is THAT WAY! Don’t forget to cancel your WWE Network…

You still here? #WhoeverLosesIWIN, talking of which, Shout out to STC’s Aydenn Wardle! He’s a nice FELLA!

See what I did there? GRANT BODY-P!

RAW #1174! I LOVE THIS WRESTLING SH!T – LET’S GO!

WWF PROPA TINGZI’m actually looking forward to Triple’s opening segment… all he wanted to do was shake Roman’s hand… there was no need for the spear!!!

I notice they haven’t customised Sheamus’ title belt yet… he doesn’t look stupid people – Sheamus looks great with that title!

I thought the one question Sheamus had for these fools was – ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED??? I didn’t expect him to ask -Who looks stupid now?! That is an appropriate question – because Roman Reigns come down the stairs… smiling! And the fans are cheering for him! They booed him the night before? Fickle fools… uh oh.. is Stephanie about to slap Roman Reigns???

Well you know what? Roman always did say to Triple… ‘We gonna have our own game of thrones – Believe That!’ I will always remember that line… but why did Rusev appear out of nowhere and kick down  Roman like that? Sheamus follows up – Brogue Kick to the jaw bone of Reigns – BLAOW!!!!

TLC Jump off – Sheamus the Champion, Vs Roman Reigns the Challenger! Tables Ladders & Chairs match!!! Rather disappointing I thought, I was hoping for The Usos Vs The New Day Vs The Dudley Boys in a Tables Ladders and Chairs match…but I don’t complain on the internet… Ain’t got time for that!

Talking of which… first match – Dudley Boys Vs The Wyatt pu$$y bwoy dem… they were NO MATCH for the Don of Dons and his Brudda!

Ha! The Wyatt bwoy might be able to defeat the Dudley Boyz and mash dem up, but they harvested the Undertaker and Kane’s power and still couldn’t beat them??? They are WEAK!!!! To quote Liu Kang to Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat…

“All those souls and you don’t have one of your own… I pity you sorcerer!”

You wanted Sasha Banks, I wanted Sasha Banks (but Naomi more) HERE SHE IS! Sorry Becky Lynch fans! But hey, shades of NXT Takeover though right?WWE2K16 GRANT BODY -P!

I should really call the match but that Naomi… apart from my real-life lady – Naomi is everything I want in a woman…

You know what I love about Sasha though? She loves her video games too, I see her out there on the UpUpDownDown channel on YouTube controlled by The New Day…but I bet she couldn’t beat my woman at Need For Speed Undercover…and I’m sure she cannot test me once I don the Purple Suit in Tekken because after all… I am HIM you don’t see my picture???

Sasha Banks – STILL undefeated on RAW!!! Is it her time come the TLC jump off? Uh Oh… don’t tell me that Ugly Paige still thinks she is still in line? She claims Charlotte’s arms were underneath the bottom rope when she executed her figure 8 super move… What sort of sh!t is that??? She rolls the footage and I’m sorry, if I was the ref – I would let that off – how the f**k are you gonna control your arms when in a submission move like that? You know what Charlotte – if it means you gotta f**k up Paige again – I’m all for it!

OH NO!!!!! The New Day are starting their Country Music Jamboree Open Tag Team Championship Challenge? If this is aiming to diss country music I’m all for it because most of those country music artists support the confederate flag… NO ONE LISTENS TO THAT SH!T!!

OH SH!T!!!! The New Day are going in!!! COUNTRY MUSIC IS WACK!!!!

Lucha Dragons have accepted the challenge!! LET’S DO THIS SH!T!

Hold the brakes! Uso Brudda want to accept the challenge too! I think New Day are trying to get out of it!!!

OH NO! You can’t cancel the Open Challenge??? I thought these titles were the symbol of excellence? (that’s the US title Grant) is it??? Aww shucks…

WHOA! Mark Henry & Neville had a wrestling contest, Henry lost, and Neville wasn’t inducted in the Hall of Pain??? Yo Neville… you gonna make it! YOU GOING TO THE TOP! I just don’t know when…

GRANT BODY-P!

This is interesting… Stardust and Goldust are on seperate teams… Stardust riding with the Ascension and Goldust riding with the Primetime Players… I remember Goldust saying he had no desire to fight his brother… and I think they did, but the match fell flat and was quickly forgotten. Sure it was a pre-show or something – what was it? Tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

It’s gonna interest me what that fool Colter gotta say about the state of MexAmerican Address…

If this is so MexAmerica, why can’t Bertie & Zeb get that belt customised? The MexAmerican championship? Damnit creative what’s holding you back? Is it the Irish Madman who my radio co-host Shadfather calls Vincent Kennedy?

I was wondering when Wack Swagger was gonna show up and re-ignite his rivalry with Bertie, just don’t get drink/weed driving okay fool?

GRANT BODY-P!

The truth of the matter is this – Zeb left yo @$$ Swagger because you failed to defeat the Super Athelete Rusev, and Rusev proceeded to break Zeb’s legs, and Swagger let that happen! Obviously Swagger forgot about that sh!t… but that doesn’t mean I’m now a Zeb Colter fan – FAR FROM IT!

So here we go, the rematch for the World Wrestling Federation Divas Championship… Paige face it 0 you can’t manage Charlotte… by the way – how long has Charlotte held the champonship for now? Just over two months right?

Come on Charlotte… now is your time… THIS Is your destiny! BREAK PAIGE’S LEGS!!!

Big ups to Charlotte – she respects Paige as a competitor… You know I don’t know if even I can give Paige credit for that… the day she dissed my sexy, beautiful and dangerous Naomi… she sealed her fate.

I LOVE THAT MOVE BY CHARLOTTE! She catches Paige in the haed scissors, and flips Paige around like a suplex using her legs three times! Wicked move!

Paige & Charlotte are putting on a technical wrestling clinic here! But check it – y’all didn’t like that sh!t at the Survivor Series. I thought you wanted wrestling right? That’s why I can’t f**k with the so-called hardcore wrestling fans…

…and they are probably complaining that the match ended in a double count out on the internet, yeah like mark Zuckerberg can help them… he doesn’t give a f**k… he’s sitting in his mansion with b!tches saying CHING CHING!!!

GRANT BODY -P!

Somebody tell me why Heath Slater is wasting my and your time apppearing on TV? Do I have to post up another babestation pic???

Maybe I won’t need to! Ryback just woke up.. it’s feeding time! Slater tries to crack the Ryback with the guitar… it had NO EFFECT! Counterattack – Shell Shock to SLATER – BLAOW!!!!

Up next… Deano and Ziggler team up Vs Battyman Breeze and the World Wrestling Federation Twitter Champion – Kevin Owens! Check this in the latest in his series of putting dumb fans on blast!

TwitterOwensTwitter

I don’t know whether to watch this match… because of Deano and Owens, I am 50% interested… the other 50%… wants to see Kandi Kay again…

GRANT BODY-P!

Main event jump off! Rusev Vs Roman Reigns! So hold on, I gotta make modifications on WWE2K16 now right? Sheamus & Rusev, they as good as Authority now! Remember back at WrestleMania 26? Sheamus and Triple Teef had beef? Look at em now… WOW!

You know this is straight TEEF when Sheamus is there constantly clapping down Reigns everytime he’s on the outside, the ref clocked it and now Sheamus has to leave the building!

It all comes together now! Why did Barrett come and teef? Because we got a Eurovision Union between Rusev, Barrett and Sheamus! Roman Reigns cannot overcome this??? WWE2K16 people… put these three together, Call em The Eurovision B!tches!

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Monday Night Raw #1126, December 22, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

WWE is truly like Christmas: as a kid, you are mad excited, tossing and turning in the bed and sh!t, waking up your whole fam as soon as it hits daylight to open those presents… as an adult, all you do whine and complain like a B!TCH! WWE puts on a Christmas show for the kids, and you whine and complain? This is the part where I don’t consider myself a wrestling fan. I’m disgusted with you all. You make me sick. You are not worthy of reading this. F**k that – if you don’t like it, read it anyway! (Shout out to Mike Knoxxx!!)

Tiz’ Da Seazon To Be Jolly! Now nyam yuh turkey and SHUDDUP!!! RAW! #1126! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZSOURCE: WWE.COM

I didn’t watch live due to family commitments so lets see what WWE wants me to see…

So out of Ho Ho Hogan’s sack we got Big Show Vs Roman Reigns, remember Big Show, you gotta make him look strong now!

We got Bray Wyatt Vs Dean Ambrose in a ‘Miracle on 34th Street Fight’… if the Royal Rumble wasn’t coming up I would recommend a three stages of hell match between these two lunatics…

What the rarse does Cena want? Don’t tell me he wants to sit on Hogan lap…

What? Seth Rollins wants to sit on Hogan’s lap as well??? I don’t think Hogan’s leg pythons can handle the weight!

The only man to bring the Authority back is John Cena… damnit Cena BRING THEM BACK!!! Robbing the fans of seeing sexy Stephanie… and those Triple TEEF interviews I like to see every Wednesday, SORT IT OUT CENA!

But first! Cena Vs Rollins… and his stooges! After a great contest, Cena picks up the victory… that’s gonna please STC’s Curtis Geensen…. his favourite Warrior Princess prevails again! (You think he secretly fancies John???)

GRANT BODY – P!!!

You mean to tell me you let Fandango beat yuh??? When will you fools be real with me and admit??? I wanna see you on your crusty knees and say this: ‘Grant, you are right… Swagger is WACK!!!’ It’s ok… I’ll forgive you for your insolence… maybe…

OH NO! Exotic Express shut down!!! Of all the times Adam Rose has partied, he chose the festive season to be a Grinch… R-Truth showed him What’s Up, and now Adam Rose is beating on the bunny big time! Look at the women in the express! They’re in shock! There’s still a party over here ladies! On the plus side, it’s about time we got to see Adam Rose use his real skills properly… stop this nonsense and let’s see what you can really do… LEO KRUGER!!!

(side note, I couldn’t care less… just bring the Express ladies to me…. GRANT BODY – P!!!)

Remember what I said Big Show?? You gotta make Roman look strong!!! Do you think he was successful people? a count-out victory??? I’m sure I said something like – Big Show & Roman Reigns might be the last 2 in the rumble… in case you haven’t figured it out, I’m taking the p!$$ out of you Roman Reigns haters… the more you run him down… the more I’m gonna support him! Same goes for Cena… Yeah I said it! I’m more of a Reigns fan than Cena… I truly sick of the hating and whining…

Hmmm I kinda like Brie Bella’s attire…tell that b!tch to come here??? Let me rip what’s left of that outfit! Sorry Danny… your woman is fine…

Did Brie just blow a kiss to Tyson Kidd???? She can’t do that???!!!! Yo Danny – Talk to your girl yo!!!! That ain’t good!

And for no reason… let’s throw a pic of Natalya as the attire she wrestles in now…f**k that – it’s Christmas damnit!

Natalya Christmas

Gotta show those thighs Natalya!!!!

HA! HA! Yes Luke Harper! Lick him down! About he’s lifting up his Intercontinental Title Belt! F**k the introduction!!! BEAT DOWN ZIGGLER! Don’t let me down this time Harper! In fact – f**k that – what would Bray Wyatt think???

Dayum Harper is killing Ziggler in that ring! Keep going! Get the title!!!! Harper the TITLE!!!!

Was that me or was Mike Cole stepping up his commentary game??? Yo Billal of the STC – I think Mike Cole heard ya!

Sh!t… Ziggler’s coming back… he still has a conscience…. (Anime/Urotsukidoji fans will understand this pic…)

Faust Urotsukidoji 2BASTARD!!!! Two super kicks followed by a Zig-Zag, and Harper couldn’t get up from that! CURSES!!!! DAMN YOU ZIGGLER!!! You just gone and ruined Christmas!!!

Now THIS IS THE SH!T I’m waiting for! Lana & Rusev pon Piper Pit!!! Let’s see Lana tell Rowdy Roddy Piper to SHUT-TUP!

Wait a minute… Piper has a gift for Rusev & Lana? Well I’m not sure about Rusev but I have a ‘gift’ for Lana!!! All she gotta do is lift her tight skirt up, move panties to the side and let the music tell the story as I Put It In her Putin!

Draw down yuh draws and bend dung, skin out gyal meh want put it in deh!!!
How you caan brukk off di hood suh? Skin out gyal meh want put it in deh!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

OH SNAP – That’s the present??? Ryback complete with a bow tie??? That leaves Lana vulnerable!!! Use di Hot Rod Piper!!! Actually bad idea – Goldust is back there – I remember what happened in 1996!

Now if I was the booker I would have had Goldust come back out on Piper’s Pit and start the rivalry again!!! HA! HA!

OHHHHHHH!!! Oh my goodness! Summer Rae, Cameron, Alicia Fox, Emma, and especially Naomi they look HOTTTT in those Santa’s helper outfits!!! (er what about Pai-) MOVE YUH BACKSIDE!!! I’m sorry – I don’t find a pale @$$ zombie looking like she come from that film -World War Z attractive!

Why are you fools chanting for Paige??? Seriously you guys have gotta sit me down and convince me why Paige is hot… you got 20 seconds….. SHE’S NOT!!!!SAM_3844

She calls herself an ‘anti-diva’ but she finds herself on Total Divas??? The show that YOU DON’T SUPPORT?!!!! Ok – when she’s on a show getting naked – don’t say SH!T to me… OK???

What sort of move was that by Alicia Fox???? That’s a bad gyal move!!! Cameron ain’t getting up from that sh!t!!!

Do you think Bray Wyatt celebrates Christmas??? Can you imagine him doing Christmas shopping in Merry Hill? No, me either…

Who has been wrapping steel chairs in those presents under the tree??? Dean Ambrose is the Christmas spirit alright!!!

No!!! Bray you can’t do that! That’s the Kitchen Table! How are the Wyatt family gonna eat? You just threw Dean Ambrose on the table….

You know what some idiot said on a wrestling group on FB? (Not naming them as it’s publicity for them – ) he said, he’s fed up of Ambrose in these type of matches… he wants to see Ambrose in a wrestling match…. f**k!n idiot! Now I’m starting to think you fans is gay…. always want ‘wrestling matches’…. I’m only interested in wrestling my woman on the mattress!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Ambrose just lost to Wyatt… but that don’t mean sh!t!!!! Him nah dun!!! Climbs top ropes, elbow drop into Wyatt on the table – BLAOW!!!!

THE GRANT SAYS: Considering I watched this on WWE.Com, it wasn’t really that bad as far as a Christmas show goes… it could have been mad cornier than that… but f**k that – next week, we got Edge & Christian in the house! Y’all best get your HiPhones and Samsung Galaxys ready for that sh!t!!!

WWE Christmas Divas

It’s Christmas!!!! Gimme some of that Good Ol’ Love!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Smack Talk Centre Raw

STC NEW LOGO

What a LA-LA at the Royal Rumble! Just like the bossman of the Smack Talk Centre said: ‘The PPV was like meeting a hot woman on a date, she’s into you, you’re into her, you’re about to get that Drew & Derwin on, you know that wonderful night, only to find out she has a D!CK!!!’ The record skips and you are running for the hills. Next thing you know you find yourself on Jerry Springer Show…

Limo Blow up

Isn’t it ironic? That last week on Raw, Triple Teef told Randall to ‘Fix It and Make it Right’??? Now after the Rumble, the atrocity that was Danny not even in the Rumble, my good Wu-Tang friend Batista won the thing, now it’s TRIPLE TEEF that’s gotta fix it…and MAKE IT RIGHT! I think Vincent Kennedy should give Triple the ’30 days to turn WWE around’… or he’s FIRED!!!

 

Threats to boycott WWE Network, Mick Foley about to throw the brick through the TV, controversy hitting BBC News… SH!T IS CRAZY! RAW #1079! HOL’ DAT BLAOW!!

WWF PROPA TINGZOk get out here Triple TEEF! i don’t know why you’re smiling about!!!

Damn the fans still bex about Batista!! Hold up Stephanie talking about the chamber… and Danny waste no time coming out here!!! that’s it Danny! Kick down Triple!!!! The hottest superstar out today and he can’t even enter the rumble??? BLASPHEMY!!!

YES! YES! YES! Tell that Triple TEEF! You want in the Chamber and compete for that World Wrestling Federation Title!!! Tell him say he’s keeping you down! I guess the script writers got to work big time!!! I suppose it is INJUSTICE! Send for the Shield!!!

Sheamus is back in effect rude boy! Here comes Cena with his glow in the dark shirt! What’s that in his back pocket? You’re not a blood! you’re not a crip muthaf***a!!! that’s like a green handkerchief or some sh!t!! What are you tryna start a Cenation crew to go against the Bloods and the Crips???

Wait – I thought WWE can’t use that Sin Cara character again??? I see him teamed up with Mysterio, who was booed at the Rumble but we all know the boos were not meant for him coming out at #30…. let’s not talk about the rumble too much, don’t wanna wind up your b!tch @$$£$! You think I don’t know about that video of your fat @$$ tearing up the house because Danny wasn’t in the rumble???

Six man tag team match announced for Raw! The Shield Vs Danny, Johnny and Sheamus! Winning team goes to fight inna de Chamber! Well I think we know the winners here… like we can see Randall defending his title against the Shield & Brock Lesnar in the Chamber! But wait! I wouldn’t put it past WWE to throw Roman Reigns up in the Chamber! WATCH DI RIDE!!!

I never thought I’d say this but… BAD NEWS BARRETT!! You got me!!! That big out podium, you want some decorum??? I like that word!!! I had to google that sh!t!!!

dɪˈkɔːrəm/
noun
noun: decorum

1.
behaviour in keeping with good taste and propriety.
“he had acted with the utmost decorum”
synonyms: propriety, properness, seemliness, decency, decorousness, good taste, correctness, appropriateness;
politeness, courtesy, good manners;
refinement, breeding, deportment, dignity, respectability, modesty, demureness
“he had acted with the utmost decorum”

Jesus Have Mercy that Summer Rae!!! (Down boy! Down!!!) I feel the eyes rolling into the back of my head top!!! I was told I was ‘not normal’… to those who say that, THE GRANT SAYS – Thank You For The Compliment!

Not feeling that WrestleMania XXX theme tune!!! F**k that theme tune – The Infamous Informer got his own theme tune!!!!

 

Can someone tell me why every time Fandango is in the ring that NXT chick Emma is in the crowd??? Answers on a postcard please! Nah f**k that – tweet me – @MZATheInfamous!!!

HA HA! Batista pointing at the fans with a sign saying – ‘BooTista’!!!! And smiling about it! OH SNAP!!! Hold up – what are the fans chanting? I can’t hear th… oh hang on I got it – DANIEL BRYAN!!!

Better choice of jeans by the way Batista… stop wearing that skinny jeans sh!t!

While my good friend Batista tells Randall that he don’t business who him a fight, perfect opportunity for BRRRROCK LESSSNAR to come out – remember he said he was fighting the champion!!!

Look at BROCK!!! Screaming like a Beast at the Viper! I think the Viper looked like he got a bad case of diarrhoea!

So that’s how it goes down in the streets? Either Lesnar fights Batista, or he fights Randall for the title, or ELSE…. No one leaves Cleveland alive??? OH SNAP!

What the f**k? Battle of Cleveland match? Dolph Ziggler vs the Miz? Ok this is the part where I get my tea…. it’s cold out here!

Ok I’m back…. who won that match I missed it???

 

OH SNAP!!! THE ROCK GOT ME!!!

Damn I love that entrance by the Uso brudda! I love the Samoan chant, When they say Us, we say Os… then the pyro – BLAOW!!!! One of my favourites since the Batista entrance!

Meanwhile… big ups to Smack Talk Centre’s #1 Dutty Bwoy Lee Steadx for this one!

THE INFAMOUS NEMESIS!

Look at that fat muthaf***a! Makes me wanna give him two kick in his dutty mouth!

It’s the USOS TIME NOW!!! They defeated Dryback! I can’t believe one year ago Ryback was my Royal Rumble champion… look at him now… anyone would think he talked sh!t about Triple Teef and Stephanie!

Oh hang on – the next Hall Of Fame inductee??? Could it be the British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith???

As much as I like Bertie, I want Kofi to win this one… word up man can’t they give Kofi a push after he defeated Randall and his wild @$$ stunts at the Royal Rumble??? Look past the fact that he’s a black man who is more than capable of taking Summer Rae away from Fandango… well that ‘s if he was a bona-fide yardy!

Did someone just have a sign saying ‘Sting Vs Taker WM30′???? My eyes are razor-sharp like The RZA! Oh no the fans not feeling the match! Cheering JBL and now Jerry Lawler! They’re not chanting Michael Cole as well?!!!!

That same fool with that sign I mentioned earlier now has a sign saying ‘Cena Still Owns Rock’… I don’t care how much you paid for that ticket – you could have got some pu$$y with that money! And change left over to buy some muthaf***!n toothpaste and mouthwash after you had your dirty stinking mouth full of hair!

GRANT BODY – P!!!BDSIR LAYLA GRANT

Now the fans are feeling the match! Backing Kofi! Come on kid! Use your Guinness Punch skills! Use the ackee & salt fish! Calaloo! all that good sh!t us Jamaicans love to eat!

Oh snap… Bertie won… damnit! Yes – WWE2K14 is one of the hottest games out now.. that is until June when Ultra Street Fighter IV drop! It’s over for everybody tuh-blodclart!

Considering the New Age Outlaws are ‘heels’, they don’t convince me as heels! They are those guys you can never boo!

I love when the WrestleMania sign is hanging high in the arena… that sign makes you FIGHT YOUR BEST!!! Ever noticed that the quality of wrestling matches has improved???

Random thought – can you imagine if Goldust and Billy Gunn had a feud back in the New Generation/Attitude Era? Think about it, Billy Gunn’s alias is Mr A$$… and considering Goldust gimmick back in the day… Billy Gunn would be asking for trouble! Saying that, if it was TV14 now, Goldust would be going after Dolph Ziggler or Darren Young… imagine that sh!t! Even Darren Young wouldn’t want him!

NO WAY! Brock Lesnar fights nobody because the authoritaaah was rampin??? Now he’s dropping steel chairs on the Rhodes Brudda??? Doesn’t it remind you when Austin and Triple Teef were dropping Steel Chairs on the Hardys and Lita? My boys Kane & The Undertaker???? Hmmm… The Undertaker… (strokes long white beard)

YES!!!! GO LADIES!!! My Favourite Nubians! The Bella Twins! Aksana! Alicia Fox! Tamina! AJ Lee! They would all get my majestic member!

Good work by the camera man focussing on AJ Lee’s Bonita Applebum! that goes for Naomi’s badukadunk too!

 

Did you see that wild @$$ triple suplex???? I haven’t seen the guys do that! Hold on – Naomi pinned the Divas champion like – 3 times now??? WTF??? GIVE MY WOMAN A TITLE SHOT AJ! Stop being stingy! The battle of the @$$£$!!!

OH SNAP!!!! JAKE THE SNAKE DEP INNA DE HALL OF FAME!!! He didn’t make it to the rumble… but wrestlers be trippin’ when he throws that muthaf***a in the ring! I would be too! Them things can kill you! One bite and you’ve HAD IT!

HOF Warrior Jake

MAIN EVENT TIME! 6 MAN TAG TEAM JUMP OFF! WINNING TEAM GOES INTO THE CHAMBER!!! Michael Cole just mentioned CM Punk – I noticed we haven’t seen him today! Well bwoy after that chokeslam from my hero Kane he probably hasn’t got up from that! The question remains – does that mean that Kane will be fired from D.O.O.?

Crowd chanting for Roman Reigns! He is an OFFICIAL BAD MAN!!! Yo I loved when Michael Cole read the list of people’s that Reigns eliminated including JAY-BEE, in which Mr Layfield snapped – WILL YOU STOP READING THE STUPID LIST AND CALL THE MATCH!!! That sh!t is funny – JAY-BEE took off his jacket read to fight, Reigns dashed him out, and JAY-BEE put back on his jacket!!! I thought you were a wrestling…. GOD!!!

OH SNAP!!! The Wyatt Bwoy dem come to f**k it up for Cena! But that means they f**ked it up for the Shield to go to the chamber!!! Does this mean that the IWC may finally get the dream wank match that they have been craving for ever since the Wyatt Bwoy stepped on the scene? Could we see a 6-man Elimination Chamber Tag Team war between the Shield and the Wyatts???? It’s only right!!!! You can do it on WWE2K14!!!

Wait, I might be expecting too much then I get bex…. like a lot of these wrestling fools…

 

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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