Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!
Aah man, how do I say goodbye…
We lost another wrestling legend y’all… Bobby The Brain Heenan has returned to the essence and reunited with his broadcast partner – Gorilla Monsoon. Now the HWF (Heaven Wrestling Federation) roster is finally complete. They have their champions, (Warrior, Savage, Eddie) Their mid-carders (Perfect, Rick Rude, Owen Hart) Their women’s division (Chyna, Elizabeth) Their monster heels (Umaga, Viscera) Their babyface (Dusty) their top heel (Piper) Even their jobbers (Test, Crash Holly, Junkyard Dog) and everyone in between (Bulldog, Boss Man) And GOD himself is the general manager/commissioner – he’s signing these stars!
REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY LIKE Wayne Rooney. The muthaf***a signed to Everton, got BUSS ARSE by Manchester United and then got found guilty for drink driving! BRUTE! NO SYMPATHY – NO MERCY!
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RAW 1268! Shout out to Natalie Sawyer… damn that girl is so fine! If I had my hands on her – I’d show NO MERCY on her p-(FLATLINE!!!!)
I got NO refreshments… oh lawwwwwd… this is bad news! How am I gonna make it through the show?
Yo this week’s WWF wrestling better be as hot as the feud between Grace & Sienna on Hollyoaks!
Ok I missed the first few minutes so I don’t know if there was a 10 Bell salute… what I do know… is that The Miz suddenly thinks he’s father of the year just because he breed up Maryse… and tries to talk down at Kurt Angle… you think Jason Jordan can defeat the Miz for the intercontinental championship at the No Mercy joint? F**k all that – Alexa Blitch is on against all curves and no brakes – a woman Redman would be proud of in Nia Jax… with that said… I had to throw some chips on… a brotha hungry!
..and just like that… I’m already fed up – the streams are f**k!n up, reminding me not to be a cheap arse and watch Raw properly on Sky Sports… well THE GRANT SAYS – I’m gonna eat my chips… and when I’m dun, me garne ah mi bed! I know it’s the go home show leading to the PPV… but my patience worn thin. This would not happen if it was Smackdown let me tell ya!
Yes jabronies I am blessed to see another day, now I’m on catch up mode with this wrestling sh!t… and what do I see? Alexa Bl!tch running away from Nia Jax… that’s your World Wrestling Federation Women’s champion, your sweetheart… f**kouttahere! No I didn’t roll out the wrong side of the bed… this is Grant every day! Who you know like Grant????
Sasha comes out to tell Alexa – get your B!TCH @$$ back in the ring! Nia Jax claps down Alexa from the other side – BLAOW!
Shout out to the Soul n Sports massive & crew – before Raw I agreed that it is now Nia’s time to become the champion… but after watching her dominant performance… er… knowing WWE’s logic… er… oh dear…
Er… BAYLEY???? She looks bex for once!!!! She actually looks like she wants to f**k Nia up! WHOA!
Well obviously it would take the combined might of Alexa, Sasha & Bayley to mash her up when all they did was shoulder block Nia into the canvas…
Where does Alexa think she’s going trying to fren up – fren up Bayley & Sasha? They gave her the Ol Dirty Bastard look – GETTOUTTAHERE!!!
“Nostalgia will fade just like these WHAT chants…” Sorry Cesaro the What chant will live forever… it cannot be stopped! It will only get stronger!
I gotta agree with Ambrose – Ii wouldn’t let my brothers dressed like battyman wannabe T-800s!
I like The Shield’s formation suicide dives! That’s cool!!!! The Bar or The Club was not ready for that sh!t!
The Club lose again… oh god damnit this is the match we should have at No Mercy… what the blodclaaat! The Club should have won that sh!t to make things interesting… but nooooooo….
114 match losing streak??? If Apollo Crews loses to Curt Hawkins… then I will review my Raw card… but that sexy @$$ Asuka is coming though… she might be the saving grace…
Spinning spin out powerbomb – BLAOW! Now Hawkins is 0-115!
Wait a second – did Double R cuss bad words?!!!! How can you fools not like this guy? Oh yeah I forgot – you are all BUZZARDS with iPhoneXs lighting that sh!t up when a blubbering idiot walks to the ring with his flashlight!
Double R bring up old sh!t about Cena running down The Rock… Aaah good times hahaa!
See that’s the only time Double R can get one up on Cena – when Cena is not here… five years later Cena is doing the same sh!t The Rock is doing… y’all know me – I’m Team Bring It all day… but Double R said something that made me think – maybe he shot himself in the foot – Cena believed he would beat The Rock at WrestleMania 28 – that went wrong… Double R cuts a similar promo like Cena did 5 five years ago – I have a feeling Cena gonna beat Double R and that’s gonna bring doubt and bad vibes in Double R’s Psyche… YES – that’s how it’s going – Cena wins… it eats away at Double R and consumes him until they have their rematch! That’s my prediction right there!
Massive big ups to Bobby The Brain Heenan. I will keep it 100 like I always do – Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler will always be my favourite commentary team of all time… but Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan were the original commentary team, not just that – you look at all the sketches they did back in the day – you don’t get that sh!t now word up. You won’t hear me say ‘he’s the greatest that ever did it’ unless I am a true fan – Ok I put it to you… in all the times you have read my blogs or listened to my podcasts on BDSIR Network – when have you heard me hold Heenan in high regard? Outside of the Royal Rumble 92 special show me and Shad did? Just keeping it 100…
Dustin Rhodes? So he’s now the artist formerly known as Goldust again? Oh no that became a horror story last time that happened!
Don’t worry I get it – it’s playing off the storyline Wyatt got with Finn Balor – I already did the knowledge!
Yo Rhodes is going IN on Wyatt! ‘Next Undertaker my dutty foot!’
…then he went in – right into a Sister Abigail – BLAOW! Er.. oh dear…
Finn Balor now on that cryptic sh!t! Oh Bray, you wonder why I refuse to light up my phone when you come out to the ring…
So this six-pack challenge thing – Elias Vs Double J vs Hardy Boyz Vs Miztourage winner fights the Miz at No Mercy? YAWN…. NEXT!!!
The Miz is so TEEEEEF! He doesn’t want Jeff Hardy or Jason Jordan to win! They need to kick him down and get him out of the equation!
OHHHH The Miz has done it now! He just called Jason Jordan a ‘Jon Snow’! he can’t do that! Oh boy – backing Double J all the way here… but that Miz is SO TEEF!!! Calling it now – Double J wins by disqualification, Jason Jordan gets bex, the Miztourage beats on him… then finally Kurt comes out, and hits the olympic slam on the Miz… either that or tries to break the ankle…
WHAAAAAAHAHAHA!!!! “I will feel great after I beat Neville at No Mercy how you doin?”
Did you see Enzo’s face when he heard – BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! Braun just boxed him down one time – BLAOW!!!
Braun picked up Enzo one hand – CHOKESLAAAAAAM! BLAOW! I don’t think Enzo gonna make it to No Mercy now! Neville must be deddin!
The running powerslam!!! BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!! Holy smokes! Enzo is probably dead by now!
There was NO NEED for that Red Arrow super move Neville!!! Oh my days that was funny!
Let’s keep on this Braun sh!t! He says he’s gonna take Suplex City and stomp it to the ground! Better listen to him Heyman… or ELSE!
Oh man – if I was the referee – I would let Brock & Braun go at it – a simple wrestling match just won’t do boys and girls!
Paul Heyman is straight exposing Mike Cole as the wack journalist that he is! Mike Cole you wack homes!
Brock is thanking Braun for coming at him like this! Remember boys and girls – don’t complain on the internet!