Tag Archives: GRANT BODY – P!!!

Monday Night Raw #1247, April 17, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Right… the Soul N Sports massive n crew – they have something every Monday called ‘Best & Worst of the Weekend. Ok so here’s mine…

Best of the Weekend: Kendrick Lamar album – DAMN! Or more importantly the last tune on the album – DUCKWORTH. HOLY SMOKES WHAT A TUNE! Shout out to Styles P & Talib Kweli who also brought forth a solid offering in ‘The Seven’. Both highly recommended.

Worst Of the Weekend: Some stupid muthaf***a shooting down people while on Facebook live like it’s really funny, and muthaf***az sharing that sh!t like the buzzards that they are. Black people are being killed for no reason by police and this sort of sh!t happens. Vincent Kennedy is right – LIFE’S NOT FAIR! YES LIFE SUCKS…and then you – WHOA!!!!

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RAW 1247! You are still the inferior show! You got Alexa Bliss – NUFF SAID!

Gotta open this up with last week’s MVP and trust me – the WWE Universe will WELCOME Braun Strowman!!!

I guess Double R had to pay a penalty for ‘retiring the Undertaker’! That is something you just don’t do!

Kurt is giving Braun the night off – but Braun wants to f**k up people… OR ELSE! Kurt is like – or else what? Why the f**k isn’t there T-Shirts with that sh!t on it? This monster among men is OVER! And I hate using wrestling terminology – Do I look ike a wrestling nerd to you??!!!

Aaaah sh!t! Braun got the Golden Truth! I’m surprised he didn’t get Finlay and Jamie Noble!

GRANT BODY-P!

Is Kurt afraid of Strowman or something? He sent a flimsy referee to tell him he had the night off!

Sorry Enzo, Wu-Tang Tattoo on your arm but Raw is NOT the realest show in the room. How you doin?

That’s f**ked up – Revival only come the other day and Dash Wilder is out the game already with a fractured jaw? 8 weeks out the game – welcome to the main roster muthaf***a!

(They should have went to Smackdown – the A-show… that would not have happened!)

GRANT BODY-P!

You see that movie White Men Can’t Jump? There is a saying on there I will never forget: ‘When you win, you really lose, and when you lose you really win…’ such is the case for Miz & Maryse – they lost the match at WrestleMania but find themselves on RAW – which WWE claims as the A show but me and you (well some of you) already knew it’s not the case… conversely, Cena and Nikki won the match, but Nikki mashed up her neck again.

Deano is right – Miz looks ridiculous in a maroon suit – But this man right here – The Infamous Informer, would make it look good!

Quote from Miz ‘I wear this because this is what SUPERSTARS look like, but you Dean, you just look like ‘WRESTLERS’…whoa… is that an insult to the IWC????

…and the rivalry has been reignited! The Miz dropped real but annoying talk, but real talk nonetheless – talks about how Deano ‘fell off’, finding himself on pre-show, all sorts of sh!t! Deano is like – I don’t care about all that bright lights and sh!t – I just love this wrestling sh!t! I’ll fight for 20 people, 100,000 people, it ain’t nothing!

Next victim – was that Kalisto who Strowman tried to f**k up? Not before he was intercepted by the Big Show!

They haven’t changed TJ Perkins music! I was looking for that Bowser music… and he’s still doing the ‘dab’… is that what it’s called?

Titus has got the idea! Actually he and Apollo Crews wouldn’t make a bad tag team actually… Crews needs CHARACTER – Titus – you can finally make this so-called brand of yours happen!

Notice I haven’t talked much wrestling? Because quite frankly, I can’t be bothered… until now – Fatal 4 Way #1 contendership for the World Wrestling Federation Women’s grant-body-pChampionship… Mickie James – Sasha Banks – Alexa Bliss – Nia Jax… winner fights Bayley at the Payback joint… once again – backing Nia Jax – a part of me wants Alexa to win so she can get buss arse by Bayley…

Then again a apart of me wants either Nia or Sasha or Mickie to buss Alexa’s arse – I don’t give a f**k if she in her hometown! The commentator just said – Alexa is that chick who would break your heart, break your jaw and you would still look at her on instagram – NO SHE’S NOT!!!! THE GRANT SAYS – I’m on instagram @infamousgrantbodyp – and I don’t wanna look at her b!tch @$$… not when I have women like Rosa Acosta on my instagram!

Rosa Acosta

Who the f**k does Alexa think she is? How is she gonna scream at Sasha – ‘This is my division now!’ This is what I mean – the ratchet has NO MANNERS – she was as good as done in the bank statement, but sh!t – Nia did all the damage and Alexa took advantage and is now through to Payback! Backing Bayley 100%!! Promise me you won’t drop any poems Bayley!!!!!

Do you think Heath Slater watches Curt Hawkins in the back and thinks ‘I’m glad I’m not at the bottom of the barrel anymore?’

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO!!!! Jericho just made a fantastic promo and the Drifter who keeps playing the guitar for no reason just made the list!

Now on to Wyatt… who according to you guys, loses every feud… but check it – what if Wyatt wins back the WWE Championship? Why is Brock Lesnar not scheduled to appear until AFTER Payback?

This ‘House of Horrors’ better be good Wyatt! We don’t have casket matches anymore! Damn…we not gonna have buried alive matches anymore… aah sh!t… I don’t think even I realised how big a retirement from the don of dons really was…

They say Jeff Hardy hasn’t been in a one-on-one match in 8 years. Yes I remember – last time, he was in a championship match against CM Princess Peach B!tch, and Jeff lost the title – if he lost – he had to leave WWE… that’s what happened and CM B!tch run him out the building… I remember cussing at him like – F**K CM P**K! It’s crazy how things change right?

See – I keep it 100 – I was NEVER a CM P**k fan. That was 2009. So you see wrestling fans… my dislike for Mr Brooks dates waaaaaay back…

While Cesaro has his dream match with Jeff Hardy… let’s give a shout out to Angela Yee… that is straight blatant outright teasing right there!

Angela Yee ice cream

Two things – One –  was the mighty RHYNO afraid of Braun Strowman?????

Two – I forgot to mention this earlier – funny how Big Show cussed out Strowman for beating on Kalisto – remember back in the day Big Show used to pick on Rey Mysterio? I suppose he learned his lesson when Mayweather f**ked him up at WrestleMania 24!

GRANT BODY-P!

Once again – The Big Show Vs Braun Strowman – come on guys – BREAK THE RING THIS TIME! One more time – we know The Big Show hasn’t got long left in his career!

Right now, according to you guys – Vincent Kennedy is jerking off until he falls out of his chair!

You mean to tell me Braun Strowman can push over an ambulance but he can’t body slam the Big Show? Oh he suplexed him? Oh ok… carry on…

This is it! HERE WE GO!!!! Or maybe not – counter technique – Strowman jumps off top ropes right into a chokeslam! And Strowman kicks out!

Strowman hits the powerslam supermove and Big Show kicked out! Come on guys – to the top ropes!

HERE WE GO! both guys battling it out! Braun jumps off the top ropes again – this time into a Sean Price punch! Strowman kicked out again! BACKSIDE! Vincent Kennedy must be a mess in the back!!!!

Booker-T said that Big Show would have to send for his big elbow off the top ropes – that was his super move back in the day – but Strowman hit the Superplex AND BRUKK THE RING!!!!! YES!!!! AND STROWMAN IS BACK ON HIS FEET! BUMBACLART!!!!!

Ok – Vincent Kennedy has officially cum. He hasn’t cum like that since he nearly got in Torrie Wilson’s panties back in 2001!

GRANT BODY-P!

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IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1241, March 6, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Suddenly CM Princess Peach B!tch losing wasn’t so bad now does it?

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news: Talking of CM Princess Peach B!tch, WWE RAW is in Chicago… oh boy… after Double R’s win over Strowman at the Fast Lane joint and Goldberg now the new World Wrestling Federation Champion, the fans are up in arms (apart from me, because I always win) But this time even I, the Infamous Informer fears for WWE’s safety… I seriously think WWE should turn back and go to Green Bay Wisconsin or something… it’s like that film ‘The Grey’ I watched at my moms the other night… the wolves pretty much took out an entire squad. That’s the Chicago Fans, all for their saviour, CM Princess Peach B!tch!

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RAW 1241! GOD BLESS JOJO!

13,135 CM Princess Peach B!tch worshippers welcoming  Jericho in the building!

Can you believe it why????? Jericho wants to know why… I told you why three frigging weeks ago!

Jericho was ready to cuss bad words! He might as well!

If Jericho was not his best friend? So who is Owen’s best friend? A big mac?

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m actually surprised the Chicago crowd are cheering Goldberg… come on internet fans – WWE can’t edit out live chants!

The Friends of Jericho! Cheer him on maaaaaaan!!!!! They are down with Jericho Vs Owens at the big BIG WrestleMania! US TITLE ON THE LINE!

…and the fight is on! Oh no Samoa Joe TEEEEEEEF!!!! Sami Zayn is on his way! Maybe that rumor is true about that dastardly Triple Teef is putting together on some power trip sh!t!

Let me tell you something – I am yawning crazy here, I actually have a job interview in the morning, so RAW best come through because bwoy!!!!!

Er – what? Sami Zayn Vs Kevin Owens AGAIN? Oh for f**ks sake… I’m grabbing a pudding… you want some? No? Ok more for me!

…and here we go with the CM P**k chants during a cruiserweight match involving Neville… I swear I hate that muthaf***a… WHO THE F**K IS HE? FOH!

Crowd causing trouble chanting for Austin Aries… do they know something I don’t?

Neville says there is no one on his level! Hmmm… so this is the jump off for WrestleMania? Neville all up in Aries face and he dropped Neville with a mean clothesline! well The Grant says – unless there is some ladder match for the tag team titles at the big BIG WrestleMania… not every muthaf***a is gonna get paid!

Here he comes… the NEW! World Wrestling Federation Champion!!! If you don’t like that sh!t – gimme your card and get the f**k outta here!!!

“This title belongs to YOU”! WHOA! Go ahead – complain on the internet – YOU THE WRESTLING FANS ARE THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION!

Oh my god! That didn’t take long for Brock to come out, F5 Goldberg and regard him as Brock’s B!tch!

This wrestling sh!t is boring me – admittedly I’m waiting for Roman and Strowman to do their thing hoping that the gong will hit , in the meantime let’s give it up for JoJo shall we? even Double R himself knows!

JOJO RR

If a woman’s behind is flatter than JoJo… IT’S NOT A BEHIND! Some of you jabronies need to know what a BACKSIDE IS!

Big ups to Rick Rude! HIM TOO RUDE!!!! Newest inductee in the Hall Of Fame! This class is crazy!!!!

Wait a minute… why does Stephanie look bex and want Foley to go into her office? He didn’t do anything wrong did he? Oh yeah – He booked Sami Zayn Vs Kevin Owens again didn’t he? Oh yes – he’s in trouble!

Introducing the New Day Popcycle! I wished they debuted the ice cream bars in Chicago! But the crowd have been quite behaved actually… maybe they were shook after Stephanie put them on blast last time…

Stephanie!.jpg

Watching Bayley buss a promo and I can see a dumb@$$ in a purple T-Shirt that looked too tight with his tongue hanging out like a retard! You can tell he can’t get any pu$$y!

GRANT BODY-P!

Who’s gonna be Bayley’s next opponent for the big BIG WrestleMania? Sasha Banks?! Sounds cool but what about the long-legged sexy @$$ Charlotte? What about The Bottom and the Breasts – Nia Jax?

Uh-Oh – Stephanie’s sexy @$$ is out here and the CM P**k chants started! Stephanie grant-body-pshut them down again! Chanting for a LOOSER!!!!! The crowd is losing this big time! Tried to drown out Stephanie’s voice! And epic failed!

There is an issue with Sasha the Boss and Stephanie the boss! I so want Sasha and Stephanie to clash – the storyline would be epic!

Check it out – if Sasha beats Bayley -it is a triple threat match at WrestleMania for the women’s title. However – If Sasha loses – It’s Bayley Vs Charlotte… now, in this case, I want Sasha to LOSE. I wanna see Stephanie and Sasha to destroy each other!

Damnit! Charlotte tried to teef – but it backfired and Sasha advances to big BIG WrestleMania! BLAST!

Imagine that – Seth Rollins is on that rehab to get back to big BIG WrestleMania and he has the dastardly Triple Teef poster as incentive and motivation!

Now they restarted the vignettes for ‘Emma’ coming soon… Aaaah woman just take it out and start!

GRANT BODY-P!

Here we go!!! Braun and Double R gonna clash!!! Wait for the gong!!! PLEASE!

AAAAAAH SH!T!!!! But check it – Braun, the monster among men has sense – he LEFT THE RING!

But not Double R… who claims it’s his yard… Undertaker takes one look at the sign. CHOKESLAMS DOUBLE R TO HELL!

It’s the match I didn’t wanna see… but Double R… you dealing with the best that ever did it now… this is it – if Undertaker gives you props and the crowd still doesn’t accept you… I feel bad for you son!

Dedicated to Stephanie McMahon… this tune is for you girl! SHUT EM DOWN!!!!(Remind me to tweet you…)

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IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1222, October 24, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

On this day, you wrestling fans can get your revenge! Why? I turned on my Facebook this morning, word up – seems like everybody on this Walking Dead thing. LOOK – I ain’t tryna watch no muthaf**!n zombies – OK! But damn this sh!t is real to you right? Yo wrestling fans – GET EM…

walking-dead-wack

Y’all know that muthaf**a who ‘dies’ said ‘cheque please’ and is not spending a dime on your crying @$$£$!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news… on this day… something is supposed to happen which changes wrestlers lives… er… enlighten me????

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RAW 1222! BROCCCCCCCCK!!!! WHAT YOU GONNA DO KID?

WWF PROPA TINGZ

Standing ovation for he who has the dreaded list! Now you can buy the T-shirt! YES!!! Fantastic!

He has terrible news? What? The triple threat match scheduled for the main event has been cancelled? Whoever cancelled it must go on the list!

Hold up – the list is stolen???? What sort of atrocity? Quick – call Dexter! Put the criminal on the table! This is not right!

Crowd chanting – ‘Where’s the list?’ Kevin Owens doesn’t care about the list! DISRESPECT!

Maybe Stephanie got the list?! Nobody must leave the arena until the list is found!

SERIOUSLY STEPHANIE! You need to come over here and let me lay you down and… ok I’ll stop!

SETH ROLLINS GOT THE LIST! DEXTER SORT HIM OUT!

UH-OH! Stephanie is on the list???? That’s not right!

KEVIN OWENS IS ON THE LIST TOO? GOOD LORD!

Oh god – I hope Seth doesn’t do anything drastic to that list! It’s Jericho’s livelihood! It’s more precious than the World Wrestling Federation Championship!

For real Balding Club? You gonna just shut down Enzo & Cass up like that?

Obviously shutting down the mic is no problem! They did their promo anyway and got over with the crowd!

Enzo Amore defeated Anderson! Balding Club lose again! Internet Wrestling Community HOW YOU DOIN?

GRANT BODY-P!

Yep – Rusev isn’t afraid of Hell In a Cell… course you aren’t… Sasha and Charlotte are going in there! And just like I said to those two sexy @$$£$, I’m gonna say the same to you Rusev – Undertaker is NOT your opponent!

To those who think The New Day have gone stale… you might as well go to the tattoo parlour and get ‘Trump’ tattooed on your forehead like the STUPID IDIOT you are!

dyam-arse-trump

This Cesaro and Sheamus sh!t is a repeat of Miz and Mizdow in a sense where you cheer one but boo the other relentlessly. You would think that they will become tag team champions, but given New Day’s 428 title reign (6 days away from the ‘sacred’ 434) I can’t see it happening.

Nice touches by WWE2K17 to make Cesaro’s Giant Swing and New Day’s Unicorn stampede OMG moves! Gives me an incentive to play as them, as if there were any doubt!

Kofi Kingston has learned a valuable lesson… never fly at Cesaro… you will run into an uppercut – BLAOW! His chin probably looks like James Ellsworth right about now!

GRANT BODY-P!

Jinder Mahal is actually killing me! ‘One must find the list, but first, he must find inner peace!’ Breathe in Breathe out! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! SUPERB!

Last time Bayley and Dana fought, there was some funny business that happened… they shall fight again! Bayley got that same sellotape on her shoulder that Cesaro got! Is there something going on there??? Answers on a postcard please – tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

Hold on – an arm wrestling match???? Yo creative – 2003 is THAT WAY! The crowd want wrestling – Not arm wrestling!

Dana Brooke TEEEEEEEF! Bayley was on the verge of beating Dana in a dry @$$ arm wrestling contest but Dana had to drop a cheap shot! Like I say – if they did this 15 years ago the crowd would be invested!

Jericho said he would never put Stephanie on the list… well the Grant says Stephanie, you are on MY LIST… The list of GRANT BODY-P!

Aaaaaah sh!t Curtis Axel get serious now! No more AxelMania Royal Rumble sh!t, no more social outcast bullsh!t, time to be that man Mr Perfect and his grandfather raised him to be! Brukk up Bo Dallas blodclart!!!!

That’s f**ked up! All that talk, all that fire in his belly, and Bo Dallas still beat Curtis Axel in his hometown? Er Vince… get the future endeavoured list out…

hiac-laidies

Braun Strowman has the list! He gave it him like… Sami Zayn is not on the list.. and after all that, Strowman made the list!

Oh dear the crowd didn’t like Roman Reigns promo to Rusev! Well you know Roman… he’s straight to the point, no-nonsense… no charisma either… oh well…

Titus – How you manage to wear good suit with those pink battyman socks? What sort of sh!t is that?

Contract signing between sexy @$$ Charlotte and sexy @$$ Sasha! OOOOH Charlotte’s figure… dayum she can join the list too! look at that tight @$$ outfit Sasha got on! She can join the list too! OHHHHHH!!!!GRANT BODY PHENOM

Thank god Mick Foley is true to himself, don’t wear those ridiculous suits or whatever it is WWE force you to wear!

That’s it Mick, let these women see sense about this Hell In A Cell sh!t, they think they fear nothing because they are not fighting Undertaker… seems like Charlotte ain’t listening! Maybe Undertaker himself should come out for real! Sound the gong… come on!

I know that’s what I would do if I was creative…

Foley is trying his best to let these women see reality…sounding a bit like Mankind himself…. he won the crowd over…he’s close to tears here! THIS SEGMENT IS OFF THE HOOK! Now sound the gong… Please!!!!!

They have signed the contract! It’s official! Man… it’s a damn shame Undertaker is not in the best of health as far as his hips. I would have flown him to Minneapolis and strike fear in these women, because if there is one thing I dislike, is WWE Superstars acting like they are not afraid of the cell and take this thing make joke.

Wow – Kendrick and Rich Swann shook hands before their contest! I guess it’s just a personal issue between Kendrick and TJ Perkins!

Wow – TJ says he and Kendrick had a contest 15 years ago, and Kendrick failed to beat him. So this is an ‘ether’ situation…

OH SNAP! Rich Swann defeated Kendrick! Er… can we make this a triple threat thing?

Braun Strowman finally gets better competition! Can Sami Zayn twist him up?

What? Braun doesn’t see real competition? Sami fought the best in Shinsuke Nakumura! He had match of the year with Cesaro! ARE YOU KIDDIN ME STROWMAN? YOU CAN’T WRESTLE NUH BLODCLART!

GRANT BODY-P! –

Strowman walked away from Zayn! Well the Grant Says – I know it’s the video game, but why don’t you take on Grant in WWE2K17? I assure you – YOU WILL GET BUSS ARSE!

Dayum Kendrick is desperate isn’t he? What – he asked TJ Perkins to ‘let him win’? Er Vince… the future endeavoured list!!!!!!

When you hear that guitar riff…. THAT’S IT! THE BEAST INCARNATE IS HERE! Yo – I never told Goldberg to say what he said the last week!

Now bear in mind, Goldberg gonna get booed because it’s in Brock’s hometown!

Oh no! Heyman just put wrestling fans on blast for being fickle! It’s like 80% are chanting Suplex City and 20% are chanting Goldberg!

I see somebody holding a Damian Marley poster! He knows what time it is!

I thought Brock had choice words for Goldberg, then again… bad man move in silence…

I forgot about this so-called Triple Threat match… if the title isn’t on the line, you know Owens and Jericho are gonna combine their force and mash-up Rollins!

Even though it’s gonna be a cheesy @$$ Halloween episode of RAW next week, we got Goldberg again! That’s good!

Rollins is certainly no Austin or Rock – they would be putting beats on Jericho and Owens!

‘No mortal man’s gonna beat them both’… Bryon Saxton obviously doesn’t do his googles er – hello – the two aforementioned guys? Triple TEEF maybe? Undertaker?????? Goldberg? BRROCCCK LESNAR???

HOW THE RARSE DID SETH ROLLINS PIN BOTH GUYS? Yo Saxton – your foolish statement should get you on the list!

Dun know Owens and Jericho didn’t like that sh!t – they rushed him! But Rollins still got fight left! But it only ended in Owens dropping the powerbomb to Rollins spine first into the hardest part of the ring apron – BLAOW!

That was a good go-home RAW.. here’s me thinking I would have to skip a segment and talk about this chick who WWE just gave a tryout to…

elena

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IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1218, September 26, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I just wanna take this time to thank everybody who has supported me over the last 5 years in my journey of becoming a qualified journalist. Smack Talk Centre, BDSIR Network/Fox Sports, Cage Amateurs UK, Wargwarn UK, KicFM and Wild1 Radio. Thank you all for letting me be myself. Here’s to another 5 years of giving you joke with this WWE sh!t, because let’s face it, I will NEVER HAND IN MY WRESTLING CARD. If there was ever a moment that I should have done it for real, was when the Undertaker lost at WrestleMania, but here I am still an optimistic, proud wrestling fan who doesn’t take the spectacle too seriously. The moment you do that – YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM. Here is to another 5 years of RePPiN Real Music 4U as well. I don’t live in the 90s like certain people. Great music till comes out and I’m just grateful and humbled to be apart of that.

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news: At time of this blog, there are people installing new heaters in the home. The way RAW is lately, it’s not worth staying up to watch the sh!t, however the cruiserweights are in effect now so that should quicken the pace. So I’m playing catch up now according to WWE.COM/YouTube.

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RAW 1218! STC Member Aydenn Wardle said he would hand in his wrestling card if The Club don’t win the tag titles this week… so Gallows, Anderson, you better come through!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

I guess we won’t be having the Roman Reigns US Title invitational!

Now this is what I’m talking about! A rivalry that gets so personal that they gonna have to drop the cell on em! Rusev & Reigns are destroying each other! Rusev ready to drop chair shots on Reigns but he responds – spear – BLAOW!!! And then Reigns beats him down with the chair!

Note: It’s not confirmed that there will be a Hell In A Cell match between Rusev & Reigns but this is where their rivalry seems to be going.

Cesaro got more sellotape on his arm! What is he trying to make this a fashion accessory? Well I guess it’s better than getting a tattoo of your lover’s name on your arm…

You gotta be kidding me! You mean after all that…Sheamus & Cesaro fought all those matches, only to end in a draw, and now Foley gives them a TAG TEAM TITLE opportunity? Oooooh the IWC ain’t gonna like this! This is just WWE’s way of not pulling the trigger on Cesaro’s push, at the same time not trying to forget about Sheamus… BLOODY WASTE OF TIME! I’m glad I didn’t waste my time watching that best of seven sh!t…

Yes Stephanie is 100 on this one… how is Foley gonna question her integrity when it came to the main event of Clash of Champions when it is HIS JOB as the GM to make sure the match went right? Foley you are slippin son! That plus the fan putting you on blast about the Cesaro/Sheamus situation?

foley-chair

YEAH! BE A BUSINESS MAN MICK! GET IN THE CHAIR! AND SHUDDUP!

THIS IS IT! The New Day Vs The Bullet Club! World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Championship! Will Wardle hand in his wrestling card?

Say what? I didn’t even know The New Day’s super move was called the Midnight Hour! 400 days and counting and I didn’t know that sh!t????

Oh snap! The Bullet Club with the Magic Killer on Big E – BLAOW! New Tag Team Champions in the World Wrestling Federation!

1! 2 and…. KOFI KINGSTONS BREAKS THE COUNT!

KOFI KINGSTONS! Busted open, face looking like a crimson mask, hit the trouble in paradise super move! 1, 2 and…. 3!!!! OH SNAP!!!!!! WARDLE – GIMME YUH CARD… YOU’RE DUN! WAIT TIL THE MASTER DEBATERS FIND OUT!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m gonna miss him, he was great on STC From The UK… he brought me Blue Pants…

Grant & Leva

SIDE NOTE – My lady doesn’t like me posing with other women in pics… but this is a wrestler from NXT back in the day! Just to clarify!

 

 

 

GRANT BODY-P!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1206, July 4, 2016

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

THE GRANT SAYS THIS: VOTE JOHN CENA FOR PRIME MINISTER.

I don’t care if some of you jabronies hate him…I don’t care if he’s not even British. JOHN CENA IS DA MAN. I will be cheering for him this week on RAW. One thing he will do where David Cameron, Roy Hodgson, Boris Johnson, Chris Evans and Nigel Farage failed to do: NEVER GIVE UP. THEY GAVE UP! They sold you all down the river! JOHN CENA KICKS OUT OF 2! The only place where Cena cannot rule, is SUPLEX CITY!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news, no news… just remind me to put up a nice picture of that Serena Williams lady…. god damn – GOD DAMN!!!!!

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RAW #1206! There better not be any dutty big spiders interrupting the proceedings this week! They will suffer the same fate as the one last week!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

Everybody on that 4th July vibe! Even the heels! Sheeeeeeeet Kayfabe is dead!!!!

I hate food fights…. such a waste… I think of those starving in Africa and sh!t… sh!t is disgusting….talk about showing love for the troops – it’s all good but use your WWE money and feed the poor muthaf***a!

That’s what this WWE sh!t is all about! Good hearted comedy vibes! No need to be so damn serious all the time! We left the EU for Pete’s sake, the UK is about to go into Anarchy! And there she is in the middle of it all, Lillian Garcia, singing the American national anthem in celebration!

…and here’s me waiting for Rusev to interrupt the proceedings… oh sh!t – it’s not 1998 anymore!

GRANT BODY-P!!!!

That was the best rendition of the anthem I have ever heard Lillian sing… that girl sung with her heart star!

OH SH!T HE CAME OUT FOR REAL!!!! I WAS ONLY JOKING! He wants to rename the day as Rusev Day! He can’t do that surely! His opponent – Titus O’Neill – AGAIN?? He better win this muthaf***a word up… big BIG Independence Day??

Titus’ attire actually looks decent for once, long shorts with Old Glory emblazoned on it, yet I can’t help but feel that it looks like pyjamas!

GRANT BODY-P!

BLOODY USELESS! He lost in front of his family, and he lost in front of America… Titus… I shake my head…and TURN MY BACK!

If Enzo Amore doesn’t win best mic skills of the year for naming every single president in history – Something seriously wrong with the WWE Universe! Yo Enzo – I heard you got a Wu-Tang Tattoo! You have made it in my iron clad respect club, joining Batista!

OWWWWWWWWW! Dana Brooke & Charlotte in their black numbers! Where is my purple…. wait – nah let me draw for my black suit this time!SABU GRANT

Sasha is in all black too! LAWD HAVE MERCY – The lord is my shepherd – he know what I want!

Good lord Sasha told Charlotte about herself!! And dropped a Sean Price punch on Dana AGAIN!

…And I hope Dean Ambrose drops Sean Price punches Miz through school buses! Maryse… I know you are supposed to be sexy but… I don’t know – you just don’t do it for me…

Do you know what I love the most about Dean Ambrose title reign? JBL’s anger! He says kids hide behind chairs and couches when they see him! Well the Grant says – how do you explain Bray Wyatt… or the don of dons – THE UNDERTAKER????? Who has been champion 7 times?????

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Deano is actually on commentary for the Spanish announce table! Never been done before – that’s CREATIVITY!

Seth Rollins continuing to get the fans to boo his promo he cut on the announce table.. he even struggled to compare the fans to Roman Reigns himself! And that didn’t work! So Deano decides to stand on the announce table -and he’s like – Dirty Deeds – BLAOW!!! Shame the table didn’t break…

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That should be an incentive to make me watch right? Nah f**k it – because ‘Facebook’ will tell you…

GRANT BODY-P!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! VICKIE GUERRERO CAN’T BE THE GM OF RAW/SMACKDOWN???!!

DON’T HASHTAG VICKIE RUNS SMACKDOWN LIVE! That;s like voting to leave the EU! (Oh wait….)

Yo – The Big Show’s TEAM USA rally talk was good… but it isn’t better than when Vince McMahon rallied team WWF against the WCW/ECW Alliance!

Look at Austin standing tall like he’s superman and sh!t! And when he hit Undertaker…. Undertaker gave him one look, and Austin put his head down… oh what? we not in 2001 no more???? We have to fast forward to Golden Truth Vs Vaudevillians? Oh f**k that – I’m going to get… what – the match finish already? I can see the IWC complaining about that one!

YOU HEAR THAT BOYS AND GIRLS! JOHN CENA SAYS NEVER GIVE UP! DON’T BE LIKE OUR WUTLESS SO CALLED POLITICIANS! DON’T BE LIKE ROY HODGSON! DON’T BE LIKE CHRIS EVANS!

BLOODY WIMPS THE LOT OF EM!

OH NO! The Bullet Club claim they gonna get rid of Cena! AJ Styles says his Bullet Club are his insurance policy! He says they will prevent Cena from sending for the shovel!

The Bullet Club say the love beating up John Cena! More than Christmas! More than getting on top of their hot asian wife! WHOA! They renamed July 4 to ‘BEAT UP JOHN CENA DAY’!!!! That’s gonna be trending surely!

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See what I’m gonna do this week, is play Mortal Kombat XL, listen to some Wu-Tang, have sexy time with my lady, then BEAT UP JOHN CENA!

GRANT BODY-P!

NO!!!! The New Day can’t say that about the Wyatt man dem????? Saying they ‘keep it in the family’????? Xavier is right – I hope New Day take this Wyatt challenge seriously! Otherwise we won’t see UpUpDownDown again!

I hope this match doesn’t show USA go on like they are better than the rest of the world in this massive 16-man elimination match!

16 man tag

Let this sink in people! Wack Swagger, Wack Ryder in the main event, Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn on the same side… well not for long – Owens just had to hit Zayn with the chair… this would be f**ked up if Wack Ryder was to win this sh!t for Team USA… after all, anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation!

After Cesaro turned on his team and uppercut everyone in sight apart from the Big Show, Wack Ryder pins him… oh my god this cannot be happening!

Big Show tagged in – drops the Sean Price punch on Jericho and the chokeslam to Bertie! Only Sheamus left!

Wack Ryder hit the Rough Ryder on Sheamus and picks up the win…. F**K OUTTA HERE! I’m off to Beat Up John Cena… but first, let me leave you with this thing of beauty…

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NEW YORK, NY – DECEMBER 15: Tennis champion Serena Williams attends the 2015 Sports Illustrated Sportsperson Of The Year Ceremony at Pier Sixty at Chelsea Piers on December 15, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Taylor Hill/Getty Images)

 

 

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IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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 Monday Night Raw #1181, January 11, 2016!!!

Before we go any further I would like to wish the man himself a great birthday. Happy Birthday to Wolverhamptons Finest

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I wanna take this time and say THANK YOU to the Celtic Warrior Sheamus, who happily volunteered to take the Infamous Informer’s Birthday beatings for him! I gotta give him props, he took those suplexes like a boss… and put up a good fight in the process! Since the day Sheamus eliminated Dolph Ziggler out the Royal Rumble a year or so ago, that man can do nothing wrong in my eyes! Gratitude is infinite Sheamus!!

My facebook has blown up. My twitter has blown up. my phone has been firing all day. Yes! It is The Infamous Informer’s 36th Birthday! Do you think perhaps just once I might use the bathroom by myself?

GRANT BODY -P!

RAW #1181! LAYDEEZ! SHOE THE BIRTHDAY BOY YOUR T!TT!£$!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZAaaaah sh!t every superstar out on stage! And Vincent Kennedy’s music hits! Look at The New Day! They’re dancing to the theme music! Everyone else standing up straight!

See this is history right here… because the first time, the title was vacant. This time, Roman is defending the title. NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE. Hold up!!!! Roman coming down the stairs!!!

Roman believes he can win! Well I would! Roman eliminated the most people! He won the rumble last year (yeah I see your blood about to boil…you really need to let bygones be bygones!)

So this is how it goes down – Vincent Kennedy is putting Roman to the test! In a 1…Vs All match… you mean like, the whole roster are gonna rush Roman Reigns??? The only man who may not have to be in it is Deano… who got blindsided by my hero Sheamus! Their contest starts now!

Sheamus looks like he never met Brock Lesnar! I know the house shows don’t exactly count… but Sheamus looks like he just won the powerball!

Clearly these two love to fight… there will be no contest today!!! Was Sheamus busted open? Irrelavant – Kevin Owens rushed Ambrose!

I apologise for I was meant to writ the SmackDown Blog last week, Kevin Owens and Ambrose had an Intercontinental title match, and by the looks of things… that didn’t go anywhere… to quote STC’s Aydenn Wardle… It HAS to be a falls count anywhere thing or something at the Rumble… don’t talk to me about a single match… these two wanna destroy each other – not use headlock takeovers and fireman’s carry and sh!t! You wanna see that – the highly credited WrestleKingdom 10 is on YouTube now – I can say this – I haven’t got time to watch that sh!t!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

The situation may change again!!!! Whoever wins the Royal Rumble, becomes the World Wrestling Federation Champion… but also faces BRRRROCCCCK LESSSSNAR??!!!! Assuming the haters are right… are WWE trying to cook a Reigns vs Lesnar II? But with the roles reversed??? Vincent kennedy doesn’t like the idea… suddenly I don’t think I would wanna win the Rumble now!!!

First Raw episode

You know… considering that, Undertaker in the main event of the very first RAW, and sharing a birthday with Mary J Blige… The Infamous informer has always been a ‘blessed’ man… ask your woman…

GRANT BODY – P!!!

This Highlight Reel should be off the hook!!!! The New Day as the guests?? Y2J got lyrics to go??? He just called em – Green Day???

Aaaah sh!t – Jericho got the Jeritron 65000! what happened to the last one? Oh yeah Jericho broke his own sh!t putting Shawn Michaels head through it!!!

Jericho claims to win the Rumble!!! I suggest you reconsider Jericho… Brock might already be at WrestleMania waiting…

The New Day are here! They wouldn’t break the Jeritron gidgets gadgets would they???

And Hold up – The Uso brudda???!! New Day bex they not the tag team of the year – I don’t blame em… that Save The Tables campaign went in vain… Look at the Usos flashing the awards in New Day’s face… come on guys! Power of positivity! don’t be bex – that’s negative vibes!!!

That’s the spirit Xavier! Play that Trombone! But playing it in Jericho’s face??? er…not a good idea! Did you see how Xavier ran a mile after jericho scared him hahahaha!

Xavier tried to teef! But Jericho picked up the trombone… and committed the most abomidable of all sins – he broke the trombone!!! How could he do something like that???

WHOA! Vincent Kennedy sticking to his guns! He refuses to let Heyman and Lesnar have their way! Ok this just got interesting…

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Big ups to Sting! First entrant in the Hall Of Fame 2016! But some of you jabronies say he doesn’t deserve it… well THE GRANT SAYS – you don’t deserve that large pizza you just got while you sitting on your @$$! You fat f**k – you broke your New Years Resolution already!

I don’t know where these Social Outcasts are going! Y’all better start fighting for your contracts – let alone fight the Wyatts!

Backside! just before the Wyatts was about tto f**k up these fools… The Ryback comes out like – don’t f**k with me! The question remains – they got Big Show too – why didn’t he come out after the Wyatt man dem?

Kalisto – YOUR TIME NOW! Can you mash up Bertie for the World Wrestling Federation for the US Title?

 

 

GRANT BODY-P!!!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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NEW STC LOGO 2015

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Monday Night Raw #1175, November 30, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Wrestling fans are f**k!n crazy… you know what I’m saying? WWE is ridden with injuries, muthaf***az are posting pics of a fat @$$ man wearing not very much, Y’all need to stop that battyman sh!t! Some wannabe jabroni wants to be called The Rock JR, one idiot claims the only reason why Bret Hart is famous is because of the screwjob, and y’all still want the muthaf***!n attitude era back, and y’all can’t spell attitude properly. RETARDNESS LEVEL OVER 9000! Y’all act like WWE never survived the Monday Night Wars and sh!t… It’s the world of the Internet Wrestling Community folks, and their nemesis is out to shut em all down! THAT’S WHAT I DO!

RAW #1175! I LOVE THIS WRESTLING SH!T! I LOVE NAOMI MORE THOUGH! – HOL’DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZDo you think Vincent Kennedy or Triple Teef will open the show and announce that we are shifting to a new format because you are tired of having your intelligence insulted? NOT A CHANCE!!! Snap out that f**k!n dream!

Where’s Xavier Woods Intercontinental Championship? The Miz had to take it from his house and give it to Xavier after he brukk up his blousecup at Street Fighter 2! It was brilliant! Yo I need to show you that… it could be better than this week’s RAW!

GRANT BODY-P!

So that was what the confetti was for! I thought the New Day won Deal Or No Deal! Nope – it’s to give Sheamus the championship welcome that he so rightfully deserves! Look at Sheamus in his good suit!!! And he gelled his hair back!!! Look at him dancing with The New Day! Xavier blowing the trombone! They taking the pi$$! Sheamus 5:15 says – I JUST WHIPPED ROMAN REIGNS @$$! Cue the shirts! It will sell by the bucketload! Pyro going off and all sorts!

HOL ON! During the celebrations Roman Reigns attacks Sheamus! Superman Punch  – BLAOW!!! And him gone with the title! He can’t do that! And he’s smiling about it!

There he is, celebrating and running jokes with The Usos and Deano, then they bump into Triple & Steph! But check it out! Triple asks for the belt back, Roman plays mind games with Triple and gives it to Stephanie…well  I would give it to Stephanie too…jussaying…

GRANT BODY – P!

But hear the joke! Stephanie says he gotta fight Sheamus for the World Wrestling Federation Title, but he gotta brukk up Sheamus in 5minutes 15 seconds! Well The GRANT SAYS – Stephanie, I’d usually go two and a half hours to three, but with you, lasting less than 5:15 for YOU to cum shouldn’t be too hard.. PAUSE!

BAH GAWD THAT IS ENOUGH!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD!

BACKSIDE!!!! Lana back on TV for the first time since her injury, it looks like she went back to wearing the tight blouse & skirt! And you fools thought she was gonna be fired after her tweets to Paige calling her a bully… you ‘stupid Americans’!!!

(Note from The Grant: I love my American People. You have given me crazy opportunities. You know who you are… I give you mad props!)

The crowd still wants Lana!!! Forget about it now guys! Back to the vaseline and the sock for you!!!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

Love conquers all! Break ups to Make ups right Method Man?!!! Rusev is like – You and I til the day we die!

Lana says she and Dolph never did the nassssty! Crowd are like – YES YOU DID! Rusev was like – he never put it in Summer! Er… YES YOU DID!!!

Look at Rusev getting in that tongue! THAT’S HOW TO DO IT ZIGGLER!!

Now I think about it… I believe Lana was telling the truth… maybe Ziggler wanted to put it in where it stinks and not in the pink…I told you Ziggler was cumse-cumsa!

NO!!! FOR GAWD SAKES NO! WHAT A NO GOOD HEINOUS HUMAN BEING!

I cannot believe what Triple Teef just said to Deano…if Roman fails to defeat Sheamus in 5:15, not only does Roman lose his shot at the TLC joint, but Deano loses his Intercontinental opportunity as well? OH COME ON!!! Ok this is the part where I cannot call what’s gonna happen here!

For real? The Wyatt man dem double chokeslammed the Dudley bwoy through tables on SmackDowns????

AAAH SH!T! The Dudley Boys got tables with the Wyatts names on them? Come on New Day step in and stop this! Save The Tables! I don’t care if it’s the rotten Wyatts – HOLD UP – Tommy Dreamer??? I thought that dude retired???!!! Guess not!

“As crazy as ECW was there’s nothing like the Wyatts…” Er JBL…I swore blind Undertaker and Kane f**ked them up like two weks ago… I got four words for you…

Haha The Wyatts tried to put the Dudleys through the table again but SWITCH! Bubba Ray charged into Wyatt! Through the table – BLAOW!!! AAAAH SH!!!!T! Calling it now – we know these guys will find themselves in a tables match , but they gonna set those muthaf***az on fire, especially if Tommy Dreamer is involved1 All they need now is SABU! And it would be a wrap!

SABU GRANT

I’m not a Zeb Colter fan but I like his new direction, me and him are alike in a way that he hates ‘haters on social media’… I hear ya Zeb… all they do his whaaawhaaawhaa like b!tches, crossing their legs and sh!t!

Hmmm Charlotte and Becky Lynch are interested in a spot of sparring! Watch Paige get involved in this sh!t and make it a Triple Threat affair at the TLC joint… again, Team B.A.D. getting dissed… if the ultimate goal is for any member of Team B.A.D. to get the title at WrestleMania… then you know what? I’m good!

Hold up – RIC FLAIR IS HERE!!! Oh no!!! He loves hanging with his daughter doesn’t he? Or more like – his daughter’s friend Becky!!! Careful girlPedo Pete… Ric Flair loves his women young… a bit like Peter from Hollyoaks!!!

GRANT BODY – P!

Ok maybe not THAT young but you get the point…

You can’t put The New Day on commentary??!!!! For that 5 minutes and 15 seconds… they killed it on commentary more than Mike Cole & JAY-BEE! Then they teefed the Lucha dragon and The Uso Brudda which means, The New Day defend their titles against NOBODY! If Teddy Long was here… that would not be happening, you would hear him say – Now hold on a minute playa!

Creative are going IN this week! Lucha Dragons get their shot at the tag titles, but if Roman fails to defeat Sheamus in 5:15 minutes… then The Usos lose too? STEPHANIE TEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!

Hold up – has creative gave Team BAD the creative keys as well? They cutting promos against Brie Bella and quoting UNITY!!!! in a Rick James voice! Brie Bella, you gonna get your @$$ kicked! Your Brie Mode is no match for Team BAD’s UNITY!!! And just for that, I wanna see my baby… I would make love to her.. to Raphael Saadiq’s Ask Of You…

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 Just give me all your lovin’
Girl, I’ll do all the rubbin’
That’s all I ask of you
I’ll kiss you anywhere
(I’ll kiss you anywhere, baby)
Yes, love, even there (Even there)
That’s all I ask of you!!!

You can’t call me a dutty bwoy when my LOVE – (not LUST) for Naomi is REAL!

AAAH SH!T!!! They running the match NOW??? I smell a swerve….

OH MY DAYS! Sheamus has got a Sheamus 5:15 shirt!!!! I’m telling ya – that’s gonna fly off the shelves! There’s even a hashtag! And you call Sheamus boring… how STUPID do YOU LOOK!

GRANT BODY – P!

Wait a minute – TEEEEEEEEEF!!!! Sheamus has assembled his team! Bertie, Barrett and Rusev – They are the League of Nations! OH NO!!!! They just baited up Roman Reigns! Does that mean Deano and the Usos lost their championship opportiunities???

But what killed me was Sheamus put his sweaty arms round poor Lillian!!! HA! HA! HA! Yes – YOU were the ones who said Sheamus is boring… YOU DUMB RARSE!

Thank you stupid stream – now I missed the Charlotte Vs Becky Lynch contest! But check it – has Charlotte adapted to her father’s teefing tactics? I caught the end and it looked like Charlotte mash up her leg, Ric Flair had the ref distracted and Charlotte defeated Becky with a distraction roll up pin! TEEF! Charlotte is only being true to her genes! Dirtiest playa in the game right? Yep I see the science here.. they gonna turn Charlotte heelish because the crowd love Sasha… the boss lady gonna walk into her title match as the FACE. As far as Naomi & Tamina… I don’t know…

Hold up… you mean to tell me that The New Day now join the League of Nations to take on the Roman Empire (Roman, Deano, Uso Brudda) That’s 7 Vs 4??? TEEEEEEEEEF! But we have seen worse… We have seen 11 on 3, we have seen the Rock Vs The McMahon Helmsley Regime… don’t get me started on that…

AAAH SH!T! The Roman Empire are taking turms stamping out The New Day just like how they do it in the corner! (remind me to adjust settings on WWE2K16…)

That’s not good, Y’all USOS LOOK ALIKE! One of em jumped off the top ropes and mashed up his knee… it best be for show – WWE cannot suffer another casualty! All I’m saying is – some of those injured muthaf***az better make quick recoveries like Cena… either that or WrestleMania becomes NXTMania! Well I’m sure you jabronies wouldn’t mind that now would you?

One man down in the Empire and Xavier sent for the 8th tag team partner – THE TROMBONE!

But the combined force proved too much for the Roman Empire… well looks like creative gonna be paid bonus this month because that was a cracking show, because Vincent Kennedy must have gave you guys one piece of cussing after last week! And big ups to the cameramen! Great job fellas! You caught this shot beautifully…

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GRANT BODY-P!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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NEW STC LOGO 2015

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Thanks to our friend The Infamous Informer, Wolverhampton’s most wanted Mr Michael Grant

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Monday Night Raw #1174, November 23, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Now that your time of the month is over, you got all your complaints out your system, you threw away your wrestling tampons… always the same every month… ‘The PPV was sh!t…Roman didn’t turn heel, I wanted Kevin Owens to be champ, The Wyatts should have beat the Undertaker – they are getting buried… blah blah blah blah blah’ – SHUT THE F**K UP!

I thought you wasn’t watching again? Hey – The Only Way is Essex is THAT WAY! Don’t forget to cancel your WWE Network…

You still here? #WhoeverLosesIWIN, talking of which, Shout out to STC’s Aydenn Wardle! He’s a nice FELLA!

See what I did there? GRANT BODY-P!

RAW #1174! I LOVE THIS WRESTLING SH!T – LET’S GO!

WWF PROPA TINGZI’m actually looking forward to Triple’s opening segment… all he wanted to do was shake Roman’s hand… there was no need for the spear!!!

I notice they haven’t customised Sheamus’ title belt yet… he doesn’t look stupid people – Sheamus looks great with that title!

I thought the one question Sheamus had for these fools was – ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED??? I didn’t expect him to ask -Who looks stupid now?! That is an appropriate question – because Roman Reigns come down the stairs… smiling! And the fans are cheering for him! They booed him the night before? Fickle fools… uh oh.. is Stephanie about to slap Roman Reigns???

Well you know what? Roman always did say to Triple… ‘We gonna have our own game of thrones – Believe That!’ I will always remember that line… but why did Rusev appear out of nowhere and kick down  Roman like that? Sheamus follows up – Brogue Kick to the jaw bone of Reigns – BLAOW!!!!

TLC Jump off – Sheamus the Champion, Vs Roman Reigns the Challenger! Tables Ladders & Chairs match!!! Rather disappointing I thought, I was hoping for The Usos Vs The New Day Vs The Dudley Boys in a Tables Ladders and Chairs match…but I don’t complain on the internet… Ain’t got time for that!

Talking of which… first match – Dudley Boys Vs The Wyatt pu$$y bwoy dem… they were NO MATCH for the Don of Dons and his Brudda!

Ha! The Wyatt bwoy might be able to defeat the Dudley Boyz and mash dem up, but they harvested the Undertaker and Kane’s power and still couldn’t beat them??? They are WEAK!!!! To quote Liu Kang to Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat…

“All those souls and you don’t have one of your own… I pity you sorcerer!”

You wanted Sasha Banks, I wanted Sasha Banks (but Naomi more) HERE SHE IS! Sorry Becky Lynch fans! But hey, shades of NXT Takeover though right?WWE2K16 GRANT BODY -P!

I should really call the match but that Naomi… apart from my real-life lady – Naomi is everything I want in a woman…

You know what I love about Sasha though? She loves her video games too, I see her out there on the UpUpDownDown channel on YouTube controlled by The New Day…but I bet she couldn’t beat my woman at Need For Speed Undercover…and I’m sure she cannot test me once I don the Purple Suit in Tekken because after all… I am HIM you don’t see my picture???

Sasha Banks – STILL undefeated on RAW!!! Is it her time come the TLC jump off? Uh Oh… don’t tell me that Ugly Paige still thinks she is still in line? She claims Charlotte’s arms were underneath the bottom rope when she executed her figure 8 super move… What sort of sh!t is that??? She rolls the footage and I’m sorry, if I was the ref – I would let that off – how the f**k are you gonna control your arms when in a submission move like that? You know what Charlotte – if it means you gotta f**k up Paige again – I’m all for it!

OH NO!!!!! The New Day are starting their Country Music Jamboree Open Tag Team Championship Challenge? If this is aiming to diss country music I’m all for it because most of those country music artists support the confederate flag… NO ONE LISTENS TO THAT SH!T!!

OH SH!T!!!! The New Day are going in!!! COUNTRY MUSIC IS WACK!!!!

Lucha Dragons have accepted the challenge!! LET’S DO THIS SH!T!

Hold the brakes! Uso Brudda want to accept the challenge too! I think New Day are trying to get out of it!!!

OH NO! You can’t cancel the Open Challenge??? I thought these titles were the symbol of excellence? (that’s the US title Grant) is it??? Aww shucks…

WHOA! Mark Henry & Neville had a wrestling contest, Henry lost, and Neville wasn’t inducted in the Hall of Pain??? Yo Neville… you gonna make it! YOU GOING TO THE TOP! I just don’t know when…

GRANT BODY-P!

This is interesting… Stardust and Goldust are on seperate teams… Stardust riding with the Ascension and Goldust riding with the Primetime Players… I remember Goldust saying he had no desire to fight his brother… and I think they did, but the match fell flat and was quickly forgotten. Sure it was a pre-show or something – what was it? Tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

It’s gonna interest me what that fool Colter gotta say about the state of MexAmerican Address…

If this is so MexAmerica, why can’t Bertie & Zeb get that belt customised? The MexAmerican championship? Damnit creative what’s holding you back? Is it the Irish Madman who my radio co-host Shadfather calls Vincent Kennedy?

I was wondering when Wack Swagger was gonna show up and re-ignite his rivalry with Bertie, just don’t get drink/weed driving okay fool?

GRANT BODY-P!

The truth of the matter is this – Zeb left yo @$$ Swagger because you failed to defeat the Super Athelete Rusev, and Rusev proceeded to break Zeb’s legs, and Swagger let that happen! Obviously Swagger forgot about that sh!t… but that doesn’t mean I’m now a Zeb Colter fan – FAR FROM IT!

So here we go, the rematch for the World Wrestling Federation Divas Championship… Paige face it 0 you can’t manage Charlotte… by the way – how long has Charlotte held the champonship for now? Just over two months right?

Come on Charlotte… now is your time… THIS Is your destiny! BREAK PAIGE’S LEGS!!!

Big ups to Charlotte – she respects Paige as a competitor… You know I don’t know if even I can give Paige credit for that… the day she dissed my sexy, beautiful and dangerous Naomi… she sealed her fate.

I LOVE THAT MOVE BY CHARLOTTE! She catches Paige in the haed scissors, and flips Paige around like a suplex using her legs three times! Wicked move!

Paige & Charlotte are putting on a technical wrestling clinic here! But check it – y’all didn’t like that sh!t at the Survivor Series. I thought you wanted wrestling right? That’s why I can’t f**k with the so-called hardcore wrestling fans…

…and they are probably complaining that the match ended in a double count out on the internet, yeah like mark Zuckerberg can help them… he doesn’t give a f**k… he’s sitting in his mansion with b!tches saying CHING CHING!!!

GRANT BODY -P!

Somebody tell me why Heath Slater is wasting my and your time apppearing on TV? Do I have to post up another babestation pic???

Maybe I won’t need to! Ryback just woke up.. it’s feeding time! Slater tries to crack the Ryback with the guitar… it had NO EFFECT! Counterattack – Shell Shock to SLATER – BLAOW!!!!

Up next… Deano and Ziggler team up Vs Battyman Breeze and the World Wrestling Federation Twitter Champion – Kevin Owens! Check this in the latest in his series of putting dumb fans on blast!

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I don’t know whether to watch this match… because of Deano and Owens, I am 50% interested… the other 50%… wants to see Kandi Kay again…

GRANT BODY-P!

Main event jump off! Rusev Vs Roman Reigns! So hold on, I gotta make modifications on WWE2K16 now right? Sheamus & Rusev, they as good as Authority now! Remember back at WrestleMania 26? Sheamus and Triple Teef had beef? Look at em now… WOW!

You know this is straight TEEF when Sheamus is there constantly clapping down Reigns everytime he’s on the outside, the ref clocked it and now Sheamus has to leave the building!

It all comes together now! Why did Barrett come and teef? Because we got a Eurovision Union between Rusev, Barrett and Sheamus! Roman Reigns cannot overcome this??? WWE2K16 people… put these three together, Call em The Eurovision B!tches!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1165, September 21, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Sshhhhhh….. I’m not supposed to be online… even Virgin Media can’t stop me from laughing at you fools. Getting angry that Jericho was the mystery partner? WOW. Angry that Cena won the US Title and he might start his open challenge sh!t again?

Now I’m not laughing, because it looks like Sting really mashed up himself in his match against Seth Rollins. Is this retirement for the legend? Another dream match just a dream in Undertaker Vs Sting? RAW #1165! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZI don’t ever recall The Wyatt Family ever starting this RAW sh!t…

…and Roman is like – ENOUGH OF THIS SH!T – I’m coming down the stairs and I’m still gonna f**k you up…send your Wyatt b!tches to the back, no referee, let’s END THIS SH!T!

For real??? The rest of the crew just had to teef? Dean Ambrose comes down the stairs! They need to combine their Shield Force and f**k up Strowman like back in the day! (Well not quite like back in the day because there’s no Rollins.) But where Y2J at? You think he’ll come out and help?

Nope – but they get a VIPER!!! Randall Orton… the Apex Predator!!! The Wyatts are lucky Randall didn’t kick them in their head!

AAAAAAAAH SH!T! So hold on! Did Brock Lesnar f**k up Kane that bad, that Kane now has a split personality? One some bi-polar next level sh!t? Check it – Seth Rollins opens the door looking for Triple & Steph, but who does he see? Corporate Kane in his suit and Sunday School Trousers! He’s all happy and sh!t! Like he has no idea what happened at the Night of Champions! He’s on some Professor Klump/Buddy Love sh!t!

OHHHHHHH!!! Lillian Garcia talking Spanish announcing the Lucha Dragons to the ring! It’s bad enough Lillian fine as f**k but if you are not aroused by the Spanish language spoken by a woman… KILL YOURSELF!

GRANT BODY – P!

So if you missed the Pre-Show on the WWE Network, tough t!tt!£$ – you gotta see the match on RAW. Love Neville and the Lucha-Lucha, I like the Ascension as they have unknown potential, Stardust – we know he got skills, but me see that match already. So it is with regret that nature calls and I gotta do a #2… excuse me…

151049-no-more-heroes-3966Aaaah that felt so much better… ah where was we? Oh yes, Mark Madden is good but MIKE DOGG is THE BEST!

For REAL!!! Bo Dallas still lives??? Did Brock kill him then Bo climbed himself out of the grave because he BO-LIEVES??? He’s gonna go back in there because he’s up against the Ryback…

Quote from Kevin Owens to Michael Cole – “Don’t believe everything you read on the internet…” Yo Kevin – tell these Internet Wrestling B!tches that! they might appreciate Pro Wrestling & Sports Entertainment  a bit better!

RIC FLAIR N!&&@! He and Charlotte are gonna show Nikki what a celebration looks like! Nikki surpassed the record last week, and no one came to her bashment hahahahahaahaha! Tell me Ric… did you put it in Paige & Becky?

GRANT BODY – P!

His proudest moment of his life happened when his daughter defeated (in his words) a great champion in Nikki Bella! GUNSHOT TO YOU WRESTLING B!TCHES! Who the f**k is Mark Madden???!!!

Oh HERE WE GO!!! PAIGE HAS TURNED EVIL!!!! F**K THAT B!TCH!!!! She cussed down the entire diva division…

I knew all along it was all about Paige from the beginning of this sh!t… Charlotte needs to slap that b!tch upside the head… Yeah Paige get on ‘our’ side talking the truth about the Bellas sleeping their way to the top… but I was never a Paige fan from the beginning. Always respected her fighting style, but the day she cussed down Naomi, I closed the book on Paige’s B!TCH @$$!

Props to Nikki, she also spoke truth. As soon as you champion, the real snakes emerge… like Paige herself.. Nikki had to deal with that sh!t for 301 days from her rivals and the IWC. Now Charlotte gonna get it… it’s the sad truth.

Maybe Paige offered Ric Flair some pu$$y and Ric turned it down and said ‘I like my meat medium well???

GRANT BODY – P!!

Aaah man I love Mark Henry & Sheamus…. Sheamus became a hero for life because he prevented Ziggler winning the rumble one year… shut down al the Ziggler fools… I have said for years that Ziggler ain’t sh!t… but then I remembered, I’m just the Infamous Informer, Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw, Ladies Favourite – Grant Body – P!

Talking of that fool Ziggler, he teams up with the Dudley Boyz, goin up against The New Day & Rusev! OH NO!!!! I can feel it – they gonna make Rusev do something funny!

HA! HA! HA! Corporate Kane is giving me joke!!!! He’s a bit ‘too happy go lucky for my liking!’ Where’s the mask?! It’s GONE! He’s going out to find it!

You know who else is giving me joke? Natalya. If anyone is ‘frustrated’ it’s Natalya… she just put on her granny panty girdle and told Paige to watch where she walks… I don’t hit women – it’s WRONG. But rather Natalya verbally slap Paige up than me!

NOOOOO!!!! We must build a wall around DudleyVille! We must stop the table madness! We have a voice! Together we can save the tables!!! Let us begin! I hold the first brick…

Build a wallOh I get it…. I never clocked on that New Day used a Donald Trump quote and flipped it around…

OH SH!T!! Xavier playing Rusev’s theme with the trombone! While Ziggler is getting BUSS ARSE! It’s like, he’s showing Jimmy Hart how to do it!

Even Summer Rae’s getting in there!!! Look how she’s handling the trombone! DUTTY GYAL!!!

What???? Rusev just yelled at Ziggler – Lana’s is MINE! She will never be YOURS! Damn Rusev… Lana pu$$y must have been THAT GOOD!

GRANT BODY – P!

And just for no reason… let’s throw up a pic of Lana… just for STC’s Premiere Dutty Bwoy – Edd Mulhall!!

Lana BattySlap that @$$ up 2 time!

In fact I’ll leave Lana to you. Naomi is all mine! I love her more and more each day. Here’s a th20150921_220014ought… what if Natalya defeats my baby? #WrestlingIsStoryline so I wanna see how it plays out…

Nice cat-like suit Natalya! Compliments go a long way people. I’m not Ladies Favourite for nothing… ever wonder why they call me ‘Mr Grant’????

Oh dear… I thought Natalya was actually gonna win that… but I’m glad she didn’t! Damn Naomi – YOU ARE AMAZING!

FOR REAL??? The crowd are chanting Big…Show Sucks ‘New Day style’? They got Big Show in preparation for his encounter with the beast BRRRROCK LESSSNARR! Cesaro doesn’t wanna get punched through school buses again!

OHHH CESARO! I mean, he got that power – suplexing The Big Show from the outside to inside the ring! And that didn’t save him from getting that inevitable – PPPPPPPP!

Big Show talking sh!t about Brock! I mean, yes, You buss up Brock’s blodclart back in Survivor Series 2002… this is 2015 muthaf***a – it’s a different Brock Lesnar you ah deal wid! back then He never had all that suplex city business and UFC fighting skill!

By the way – what was that about ‘Cena’s open challenge’ Cena haters? Don’t you retards have enough? I mean, you put so much focus and energy hating on a man, you don’t realise that’s what keeps him on his game! You haters just DON’T THINK… do you???

He’s fighting Seth Rollins for the US title… so, let me get this understand so i can understand this… what if Cena retains? Does that mean he’s ‘buried’ the World Wrestling Federation Champion???? YOU DUMB RARSE!

You lot argue that out… while I just wait for the Demon Kane to come out and f**k up Rollins again!

Uh-OH!!! I mean… Cena defeats Rollins… in a way does that mean he’s the #1 contender for the title? Hmmm interesting…

Corporate Kane appears on the titantron! Smiling and all! He’s like YO! You need to be the BEST Champion you can be! But the DEMON Kane appears from beneath the ring! Comes after Rollins! Drags him down all the way to hell!!!! Oh LAWWD HAVE MERCY!!! (Yes we know how it was done you smarks – GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE!) Ok – a storyline with both personas at once is cool! I can ride to this!

Take it away Method Man…. IT’S KAAAANE!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Infamous Informer on Cage Amateurs UK The Home of Comabt Sport

Monday Night Raw #1152, June 22, 2015!!!

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Barry Landel

It’s only right that I start the blog off like this. Even if you’re not a fan (which I’m not), you gotta pay respects to one of the foundations of wrestling. Take a bow Barry Landel, LIVE ON LIVE LONG.

(Er… I don’t think WWE gonna do the massive tribute for him like they did Dusty… no bell tolling 10 times or anything like that…)

I’m sure Heaven got a full roster now…. HWF (Heaven Wrestling Federation)… that’s what I’m calling it! Let’s keep it moving y’all! RAW #1152! Hol’ Dat – RECORD SKIP!!! Virgin Media says I can’t watch live??? MUTHAF***A!

WWF PROPA TINGZSource: WWE.Com

Hang on, let me get this right so I can understand this: Brock Lesnar has to give an apology for his actions back in April, but it’s Mike Cole doing the apologising??!!! HA! HA! HA! Yeah Mike… APOLOGISE!!! For being a WACK commentator when sh!t pops off! You stay quiet and sh!t… you don’t make the sh!t exciting! Fans cannot hate heels because YOU MIKE COLE don’t make it sound convincing like JR did! JR – that man made you HATE the heels. Now everyone cheers the heels and it’s YOUR FAULT!!!! Brock apologizes to JAY-BEE because he does his job properly!

Did you hear the crowd roar when Paul Heyman described Seth Rollins??!!! I’m just waiting for the meme that follows that!!!

Oh sh!!!!!t! July 19… mark it in your calendar people! Seth has a one way, all expenses paid, first class ticket to Suplex City B!TCH!!! the question remains: Will Seth smile through the onslaught????

It is a sad day, when Kane has to get help from Seth Rollins to defeat Dean Ambrose… not saying that Ambrose is weak but we talking Kane here! The big red retard who can finally speak!!!! (Shout out to The Rock!) But words from the wise to the guys in the locker room: When fighting Kane or Undertaker, NEVER go top ropes!!! They grab you by your neck, Chokeslam off the top rope – BLAOW!!! And Mike Cole didn’t even call that properly! FOOL!

YES PRIME TIME PLAYERS! AH YU DAT??!!! They defeated The Decension!!!! A part of me wats the Decension to stay in the main roster, the other part of me says ‘send dem muthaf***az back to NXT’- dem nah ready!!! You know what I really want? I want Kane to stop his foolishness, take the Decension under his wing… 3 man team – The Fires of Hell!!! I’m telling you – it would work!!!!

Look how Undertaker did it – formed The Ministry, The Brood, Acolytes, Mideon & Viscera, that’s 7 guys plus Undertaker. 5 of the 7 turned out successful in the end!

Are you not entertained Sheamus? I bet you are now! Roman Reigns beating you down and sh!t!

That is f**ked up!!!! How has Bray got f**ked up pics of Reigns in that dark room with candles and sh!t, acting like he’s having a tea party with Reigns daughter?

Now this is what I’m talking about Bray! Less of the cryptic shit you do and more of this deranged mind games! You took the advice onboard! Superb work Wyatt! Now let me hear the next person who complains about you…

“Xavier has got a lot to say, that’s all there is to it…” (JBL)

Well THE GRANT SAYS – You lucky Xavier hasn’t got a loud-speaker like Jimmy Hart! Or what about Daivari, who used to manage Muhammad Hassan! His mouth went at 100 miles an hour, and he spoke ‘Arab’!!! I put it in quotations because that was character back then!

With the PTP rushing the ring to even things up with the New Day, I’m surprised this match between Neville and Kingston wasn’t turned into a 6 man tag team ma…. Oh I forgot, Teddy Long wasn’t there…

I’m not a fan of both guys, but when Barrett turned his elbow pad red, and hit the Bullhammer super move to Wack Ryder while he was on top ropes… THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!! BOOOOOOOM!!!

You know what Cena, big ups to WWE editing all that bla-bla-bla you do… I understand how you roll and all that… but I’d turn to Kevin Owens and say F**K YOU! I ain’t giving you an US Title shot! Because I issued an open challenge to you and you said NO. You stamp on my title like it’s garbage, You forgot great champions like Harley Race, Booker-T & Goldberg held this title muthaf***a? I challenge you for your NXT title and you say NO? F**K YOU!!! At Battleground, I’ll just f**k you up! Keep it Real huh????

WTF did Kevin Owens just say??? He just spoke in a different language! Answers on a postcard please at my twitter @MZATheInfamous!

Never mind hold the tweets! Now both muthaf***az speaking in French! god dammit where’s Maryse when you need her? In fact f**k that – Lillian Garcia – speak Spanish for me girl! F**k that – where’s my Roselyn Sánchez?? My Senorita??

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See that woman above? You may have seen her in Devious Maids or Without a Trace or Boat Trip or most notably, Rush Hour 2, She only has to speak, and mi cocky stan up!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

F**K ME!!!! Naomi how are you gonna bounce off the second turnbuckle like that baby girl??? Sorry to be profane but that girl can f**k… just by watching those few seconds! In fact – f**k that – this is my blog – I ain’t apologizing for sh!t!

Just watch the first few seconds… but if you’re a Paige fan this won’t apply to you!

GRANT BODY – P!

AAAH SH!T! Tamina set up Nikki for the Rear End super move from Naomi, Nikki ducks, Naomi hits Tamina! Bellas pick up the win… CURSES!

Is that all Ryback??? A splash off the top ropes to defeat Mark Henry??? Oh mannnn!!! I expected you to pull off a 450 or something!!! Oh I get it… you heard about that Uhaa Nation dude… haha!!! Soon Ryback… soon!

You see this match right here? Adam Rose Vs Dolph Ziggler? This is that toilet break sh!t… Now as i mention it… I feel for the toilet now excuse me…

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Maybe it is still worth watching after all… if it’s good for Rusev… I suppose it’s good for me!

Is it me or does Lana look unhappy? What’s wrong Lana, is it because Ziggler discovered what your name is backwards and wanted to try that sexual position???

GRANT BODY – P!!!

If there is one thing I will never understand more than smoking, its Anal intercourse. I mean… (JR VOICE – There’s DOODOO IN THERE! FOR GOD’S SAKES!)

OH SNAP! was Lana’s hair meant to all flow out then? Ziggler couldn’t even do that right! And his kissing technique is still suspect! I’m sitting here in disbelief… So is Rusev by the looks of things…GRANT BENT ON DESTRUCTION

Rusev so bex he threw away his crutches and him drop down ah ground! HAHAHAHA!!! MAKE IT BURN, MAKE IT BURN, (YOU GON LEARN!) MAKE IT BURRRRRNNNNNNN!!!

Wait a minute… what’s this?? Summer Rae???? Giving back Rusev his crutches? Don’t tell me she wants some of the super athlete??? Oh I see where this is going here! Mixed tag match: Rusev & Summer Vs Ziggler & Lana… I don’t know when, but remember I told ya!

Rusev.. you DO realise she’s a ‘Stupid American’… right??? That don’t mean sh!t when it comes to pum-pum!!!

GRANT BODY – P!

Listen to Seth Rollins begging the Authority to Take Him Back.. this isn’t Ghostface Killah And Jackie-O muthaf***a!

OH SNAP!!! Here Comes The Pain! But can he Bring The Pain to the Authority??? Rollins got a taste of suplex city, but has Kane waited all this time to wreak revenge for what happened to his older brother at WrestleMania last year? Chokeslam to Lesnar – BLAOW!!!

Did I… dis I just see Seth Rollins drop the CURB STOMP super move to Lesnar from the top ropes??? I think I did!!! BACKSIDE!

Another Chokeslam by Kane – BLAOW!!! (That was for breaking the streak muthaf***a!!!)

FOR REAL???? Rollins hit the Pedigree on Lesnar???? OH SH!T! Suplex City has a mayor! and his name is TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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