Tag Archives: Hulk Hogan

Monday Night Raw #1157, July 27, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

I am him: Infamous Informer, Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw, GRANT BODY -P! I will tell you straight up and down – I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT HULK HOGAN. Only exception is if it’s in relation to this week’s RAW. I’m already sick of the sh!t over the weekend.

But that Terminator WWE2K16 though!!!! First thing on payday I’m taking my backside to GAME and pre-ordering that sh!t! I can’t see what the problem is with you gaming/wrestling nerds, you want special characters in games but you complain? Oh yeah I forgot, I don’t like your kind anyway!

If the crowd chant for Hogan, I won’t hold it against them. But after that, y’all gotta let it burn. RAW #1157: HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZYou watch, I’m in effect live this week and Brock Lesnar & Undertaker are not at RAW. It would be just my luck.

…and how does the show start? With the evil one himself – TRIPLE TEEEF!!! I am the gamerrrr…. I couldn’t control the situationerrrrrrr, I can’t get to the point in 20 minuteserrrrrr!!!

The rumours are true rude boy!!!! Summerslam 4 hours – GOD DAMN!!!! RILEY’S WOLVERHAMPTON – GET READY!!!!

What? More announcements? Ok Dean Ambrose Vs Big Show I can ride to that, Sasha Banks Vs Paige – Show her who the boss is Sasha! And Randy Orton Vs Kevin Owens??? Bellas Vs Charlotte/Becky? Big wrestling matches ah gwarn!

Seth Rollins – don’t expect me to stand up and say you’re the greatest champion of all time, you didn’t fight Undertaker & Brock Lesnar therefore…. you’re ONE OF the greatest pu$$!£$ of all time!

You just insulted John Cena my dude! OH SH!T – Cena paid his dues in the apology tour! He wants #16!!!! I support this! I’m all for upsetting the IWC!!!!

YES MOVEMENT for Cena Vs Rollins for the WWE title? No? Stephanie just trolled us all! God damn you woman! Go and kiss dog!

GRANT BODY-P!

But Cena gotta defend his US Title against Rollins? Looks like the apology tour continues! I can ride to that! Backing Cena all the way! Cena successfully defends… I called it last week – Title for Title at Summerslam – REMEMBER I TOLD YA!

I though Ambrose was on some Eddie Guerrero sh!t – untying Big Show’s laces then taking out his legs! It was purely strategy to recoup…

Remember back in the days? When Big Show used to do the chokeslam and that would be it?

Yo Miz – keep telling yourself you’re the baddest muthaf**a in the WWE – f**k around and the glass will smash! I know somebody who you tell you different!

OHHH SNAP!!!!! Ambrose went for the suicide dive, and landed right into Big Show’s fist – PPPPPPPP! Ambrose ain’t making the ten count f**k that!

And even after all that, Ambrose got to his feet, Big Slow was gonna finish him… Ambrose sidestep – BOOM – right into the barricade!

For real???? Fandango is still alive???? Oh well he ain’t now… Neville just settled him with the Red Arrow… What’s Stardust beef with Neville??? Does he fancy him or something??? I think Stardust thinks a Red Arrow is one of those Ice lollies you get from the ice cream man…..

OH MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Paige’s team don’t want none of B.A.D…. sh!t I DO!!! I want all of that Sasha, I want that Tamina roughness, and I want Naomi to drop squats on my c-MZA DAYWALKER 2

SOMEBODY GET HIM OUTTA HERE!!!!

You see this is why Grant is not a Paige fan, she got Charlotte and Becky Lynch wearing ‘This Is My House’ shirts… they don’t have a team name, so it’s still all about Paige… mannn… f**k that b!tch!

LET’S GO SASHA!! Kill her! Destroy her completely!

You will see… in months to come, Paige gonna f**k over Becky and Charlotte… remember I told ya!

Aaaah sh!t why the ref throw out the women at ringside? What is he gay too? If that was me, I’d send for a next referee and I’ll go away with Charlotte, Becky, Naomi & Tamina! Me and them four would have a REAAAL good time!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

YES! MY GIRL SASHA HIT PAIGE WITH THE BANK STATEMENT!!! Whose house is it now b!tch!!! That’s what’s up!

For real Rusev? You gonna get Summer Rae a dutty dawg? Good idea Rusev call the dog – Dolph Ziggler! That’s a great name!

He got Summer Rae a dead fish??? Oh my days – he’s tryna say Lana pu$$y smells??? OUTTA ORDER & BRIGHT!

Pushing the boundaries are we Triple Teef??

OH NO! Lana kick down Summer Rae! and rub her face in the fish! You know what Lana’s tryna say right???

GRANT BODY – P!

Haha I just love when Rusev is cussing! Face it Rusev – you want Summer Rae to dress like Lana on some Action Bronson biting Ghostface style and sh!t – admit it – Summer Rae was just the consolation prize!

What I wanna know is, why are muthaf***az concerned about Axelmania? The Grant says – F**K AXELMANIA! AxelMania is dead, and in its death, long live the DAYWALKER!!! GRANT BODY – P!!!

Ok – a lil mathematics – last week, Los Matadores beat the PTP, I thought that makes them #1 contenders… this week Lucha Dragons beat Los Matadores… both matches had The New Day causing the distraction… is it me or do I smell a Fatal Four Way match at Summerslam? Come on! Throw the Tables, Ladders and the Chairs in there let’s do this!!! (Oh sh!t am I asking too much? I better get my mind out the attitude era!)

For real Wyatt? You just gonna say that the parents don’t love their kids? Well at least he isn’t speaking cryptically…he’s gotta point though, the police don’t protect us… they wanna destroy us because they can and get away with it…

Wyatt gonna digress about some pet… I guess he’s talking about Luke Harper coming back to him… yeah yeah where’s the Shield??? Come down the stairs!!!

I guess the Shield can’t be bothered… lets continue the Divas revolution! See I like Becky & Charlotte, I hope they brukk up the Bellas.. it’s that Paige I’m not a fan of!

…and while they come down the ramp and get ready for their contest against the Bellas, check this exclusive interview that MIKE KNOXXX and GRANT BODY – P interviewed, the beautiful, sexy, don’t take no sh!t, former Tough enough competitor – Gabi Castrovinci! Don’t just look at her and wank off… CLICK THE PIC NUH MAN!!!!

11693889_10206409570616322_7326486061945163969_n247 days??? COME ON NIKKI!!! You can do it girl! If you don’t make it, I won’t be mad though… divas division stepped up!

I got this feeling somewhere down the road Triple gonna give Gabi a tryout anyway… he sees that uniqueness in her… You see? Winning Tough Enough ain’t sh!t!

OH SNAAAP! Becky Lynch use the DISARMOUR super move! Alicia Fox tapped out like a b!tch! Alicia in my bad books too!

Sheamus at ringside while Kevin Owens and Randall fight? Hmmm I think we know who gonna win this one! Unless of course Cesaro finds himself out here!

See Randall ain’t like John… Randall is more of that dark hero sh!t… Randall will f**k you up – Cena won’t!

Sheamus – you do realise I was sitting there waiting for you to interfere in  that match… so what stipulation you and Randall gonna have???

I knew Cesaro would get involved but it didn’t work out too well for him – pop-up powerbomb – BLAOW!!! Try again kid!

Ok main event time! John Cena Vs Seth Rollins! COME ON CENA!!! What – you thought Cena was gonna be in mid-card forever??? YOU DUMB RARSE!!!

Quote of the week – “If you’re a champion your ego should be out of control… look at Floyd Mayweather… he’s out of control… he’s never been beat…” (JAY-BEE) Let’s be real – from time Big Show couldn’t manage Mayweather, my dude Pacquiao couldn’t take him back in May! Yo Mayweather haters… you gotta make it burn!

Oh dear! Seth Rollins hit the Tiger Knee right into Cena’s nose – BLAOW!!! That should have been a Mortal Kombat X-Ray moment! Yeah the crowd would chant ‘This Is Awesome!’ because Cena nose brukk up!!!!

Go on muthaf***a, tell me this wrestling thing is fake…. oh that would be you CM Princess Peach B!tch!! That’s why I lost respect for that fool! And Cena just beat Rollins with a f**ked up nose!!! YES CENA!!! The respect I once had for CM Pnuk… is now handed over to Cena! What you gonna do now Rollins? You gotta defend your title at Summerslam!!! (Why have I got this feeling Rollins gonna get away again??? Either that or Sheamus cashes his cheque against Cena and win???

Quality wrestling contests, no sign of Undertaker & Brock (as I thought,) and no Hogan chants! WOW! maybe there is hope for humanity!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1137, March 9, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

I have a question for y’all, If Biggie Smalls was alive, do you think he would have appeared on WWE? Do you think he would have performed at a RAW or WrestleMania??? I say he would have. People say that if Big & Pac were alive, we wouldn’t have guys like Wiz Khalifa, who IS performing, that’s the part where I take my essential toilet break… unless of course he gets interrupted by BRRRROCCCK LESSSNAR!!!

I’m the Infamous Informer, and I have NO sympathy, NO compassion, NO remorse, and if Khalifa gets BUSS ARSE, I will……LAAAAAAAUGGGH!!!!!

Biggie Smalls Is Da Illest! RAW #1137, HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZThe Authority are proud of Randall Keith Orton!!!! Little do they know that Randall is playing them all!!! B!TCHES!!!

Listen to the Authority d!ck riding Randall!!! See Randall is like that dude – Agito Makashima… don’t know who he is? He’s the DON in the Guyver Anime Series! GUYVER III MUTHAF***A!

GUYVER 3Randall is gonna go all the way with this!!!!! Just like an undercover cop!!!!

Oh snap! Randall’s putting the Authority on BLAST!!!! It’s true – they are supposed to be OFFICIAL bad mans!!! They are acting like b!tches!!!!

Remember just a few years back you jabronies were saying Randy Boreton??? Remember that???? Now you cheer him…. Who’s changed???? HA! EXPOSED!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

They got that first segment done in just under 15 minutes! Very good!!!!

What the hell is Stardust doing with the IC Title??? Damn the IC title is getting f**ked like Suzette!!!! (Who’s Suzette???) I don’t know… ask GZA!!!! (Wu-Tang fans know what I did there!)

See that’s why me nah support Wade Barrett again, lost to Danny Bryan, he can’t tek di pressure… hits the bullhammer on Danny while he was celebrating… little biatch… next minute Dean F**k!ng Ambrose comes out and claps down Barrett!!! Haha!!!!

Doesn’t look like Goldust vs Stardust is running at WrestleMania at all… that’s cool with me still… I can ride to that! Goldust in the Battle Royal maybe? Stardust in the ladder match? No problems here!

Er Stardust… leaving the IC Title on the ring post doesn’t sound too smart!

What I wanna know is, how come Wade Barrett hasn’t come for his title???? What is he a sissy???? HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh here he is! Wade tryna beat on Ambrose, but he’s brought Ziggler, Harper, Danny and Stardust in the brawl!

I love this IC storyline!!!! Now we got 7 cats fighting over the IC title! But R-Truth is a clever muthaf***a! Wade Barrett getting bex with Truth because he got the title… So Truth is like – here, now stop your noise! Barrett retreating up the stairs only to find out he got the toy belt! That time Truth run gone with the real title! OH LAWWWWD!!!!

Big ups to Connor The Crusher! It’s funny, we the fans were talking about Connor getting inducted, (he beat Triple TEEF!!!!) Not only is he inducted, he gets the Ultimate Warrior award! THAT IS DAN!!!!

Connor beat Triple TEEF

You think about it, not many have beat Triple because he uses the hammer! But Connor did it! RESPECT!

Oh no…. pay attention, Paul Heyman is here!!!! OHHHHHH SH!!!!!!!!!!T! He got a video for us!

What a nice man… Heyman shows us a look at Roman Reigns and his career….

GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!! Paul Heyman might have out done himself from last weeks promo!!! He broke the mic again!!! He even hinted that Brock will UNIFY the UFC and WWE title!!! Can he do that??? BACKSIDE! Now the title no longer belongs to WWE? And if WWE tries a screwjob move or sends Seth Rollins to cash his cheque…. Somebody Gotta Die! If I Go, YOU GOTTA GO!!!

 

BACKFOOT! Erick Rowan won a match!!!!! only because Big Show hit the Sean P on Glenn…. That ain’t the issue hold up…

Now look what you two have done… you sent Stephanie’s sexy @$$ out here…. oh hang on that’s a good thing!

Yes – you two jabronies need to fix up – Stephanie – just give the man back his mask if you want him to be a don again… stop this Sunday School Trousers crap!

Look at the state of Wiz Khalifa??? Him nah dress proper! Hang on – look at Wizdow! He has ‘TGOD’ written on his hoodie? WTF does ‘T’ stand for??? If I find out it is a shot at Wu-Tang’s U-God….

STC WRESTLEMANIA 31 SIGN BDSIRSo while Wiz Khalifa chats his nonsense wearing a John Cena shirt walking round with sh!t locks… let the Infamous Informer entertain you with a proper tune, since we are celebrating Biggie’s life right now…

OH MY GOD!!! Summer Rae & Eva Marie dep pon mi telly??!!!! Let me pay attention… let me see if All Red Everything has improved her fighting style…

Oh – it’s a singles competition??? Ah sh!t!!!!

Right AJ Lee won – enough of that sh!t… now Sting explains why he wants to f**k up Triple Teef…

Well I can’t lie, during the Monday Night Wars and the attitude era, WCW was losing the war… who was WWF champion for the majority of that time? TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEF!!! He used the hammer! I told you that man is NO GOOD! Amy Winehouse warned yo @$$!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Bless Curtis Axel! He’s after the US title at Big Big WrestleMania???? I say let him through! The crowd love him!

He’s like a glorified jobber – I’m not sure if Hulk Hogan or Mr Perfect will like what they are seeing here… oh well… no WrestleMania for Curtis Axel…. hey – maybe he will win the Battle Royal???

Well Cena did warn Rusev that if he talks sh!t about America, Cena gonna f**k him up….

…and he did using the STF super move! I smell an I QUIT match or some sort of submission match… look at Cena’s face when Lana accepted the challenge? BACKSIDE!!!! That ain’t heroic at all! It’s like Spiderman in the venom outfit!!!

Do I smell a Fatal 4 Way tag team championship match at WrestleMania as well? Cesaro/Kidd Vs Usos Vs New Day Vs.. the Ascension maybe? I hope so… I can ride to that! Everyone must decorate the kitchen table!

The MAN in the PURPLE SUIT!WHAAAAAAAAT!!! Naomi Vs Natalya right now???? Ok where’s the cocoa butter….

THAT’S WHAT’S UP!!! Naomi win again!!! Dayuuum I am fixing my trousers right now! Oh hang on what is this Los Jobberdore nonsense…Ok let me rephrase my vision – I smell a tag team turmoil match at WrestleMania…

While that’s on I’m gonna take a look at Ani James on babestation… she’s so fine – she makes my eyes roll into the back of my head!

We got 14,107 chanting that muthaf***a’s name… I just wanna line em all up and throw those d!ckhead wrestling fans in the concentration camps, Grant Hitler on they @$$!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Hmph! Here comes that outta order & bright Wyatt, he doesn’t watch the news! F**k!n with Undertaker is like throwing yourself head first in the grave and calling for the people to dig in the dirt!

14,107 with their iPhone lit up, you guys gonna get buss arse!

You see what happen when you f**k around with the urn? The powers come out, lights go out, all you see is lightning, the bell tolls, suddenly Sister Abigail’s armchair appears, all you hear is the Don’s voice… YOU WILL, REST IN PEACE!!!! But Wyatt seems to be laughing about it! The rocking chair bunn up! Wyatt goose cook! And he don’t even know it!!!!

I don’t think it’s worth talking about the handicap match between Roman Reigns and Seth/Randall… what I can say is this… NOW they are building that WrestleMania flava!

How dumb is Seth Rollins! Randall told him straight – he was gonna f**k him up… and that’s exactly what he did! Seth goes for the tag – Randall put his middle fingers up!!! Did he just do that? I think he did! Then the voices in his head chat to him, and told him to F**k up Seth Rollins! Destroyed him from pillar to post! FROM PILLAR TO POST! Vicious chair shots! a DDT into the concrete floor! sets up announce table, measures Rollins, RKO – BLAOW!!!!!!

The question remains – why didn’t Stephanie come out to stop this one? She did when it came to Big Show & Glenn! Oh that’s right… she remembered what happened in 2009!!!! Yep – best to stay out of Randall’s way when the voices chat to him!

THEY SAY, THAT WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS… THEY’RE RIGHT!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1125, December 15, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

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The Infamous Informer

Don’t confuse it with sleep, I might be the only person in the world who hasn’t watched NXT R Evolution. I’m taking y’all word for it! I heard it was DON! I’m not gonna argue or counter, matter of fact I got no bars simply because, I haven’t seen it! The truth is, I WAS watching it, I saw the first match with Kevin Owens & CJ Parker, but my stream went down, and I thought chu, me garne ah mi bed! I won’t have time to catch up on it now as I’m a busy man. If I don’t catch wrestling live, chances are I won’t catch up. Sorry guys!

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I did however see the TLC joint, oh hang on – don’t forget the stairs! And it was a cool PPV. That’s it. But please, don’t compare it to NXT R Evolution. That’s like comparing the new Wu-Tang Album to Ghostface Killah’s 36 Seasons. A lot of you are doing that and it doesn’t make sense. You’re not acting without the benefit of intellect.

Ziggler – New I.C. champ! Cena’s going to the Rumble! Now we know not to f**k with Wyatt’s rocking chair! This means RAW! #1125! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZShout out to Chris Jericho – he’s in the building!!! And he’s running the dance this week! Shout out to all the jabronies still figuring out who that anonymous laptop GM is…. you WASSACK!

Jericho has come for his Slammy award that Fandumbgay rudely accepted last week! Somebody gonna get buss arse, and somebody gonna get f**ked!!! (Yes I’m talking to you Rosa Mendes!)

GRANT BODY – P!!

What’s up Heyman!!! Where’s your friend at? Watching Real Housewives of Orange County with the WWE Championship belt??!!!

Why you got beef with Jericho homes???? He won the award for Extreme moment of the year as voted by the fans! Did you vote on the WWE App Heyman? Dude I’m a big fan but shut the f**k up!!!!

Jericho wants his $200 as well! Heyman give up the money! You owe him that sh!t from 1995! Dude – that should come with interest! Oh hang on Heyman addressing Rollins…. UH-OH!!!

Suddenly Rollins is addressing Heyman! I thought he was ‘buried’ Internet Wrestling Attitards??? You don’t know the meaning of the word – SHUT THE F**K UP!

Hold up Rollins – how are you gonna call Cena a coward when you got two-man behind you fighting with you???? Now look what you done – you call his name and Cena comes out! Come on Cena – PUT HIM ON BLAST!!!

That he did! Rollins – you’re not a MAN!!!! A man stands on his two feet – he don’t hide behind Triple Teef & Stepha- oh hang on I would get behind Stephanie!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Jericho got the Money, Power & Respect so, since Paul Heyman won’t give Jericho back his $200, I suppose he’s gonna beat it out of him! I would! Christmas is coming – Jericho gotta get that turkey for his family!!! PAY UP!!!

Seth Rollins Vs John Cena in a steel cage match… yeah let me see your stooges interfere in that one Rollins!

You gotta be kidding me… people can choose between a No Holds Barred match, or a Street Fight, or an Extreme Rules Match???? I’m not Vincent Kennedy…. but all those matches are the same sh!t!!!! One of these days I wanna interview Mitchell Cole and ask him what the difference is!

I’m not a Ziggler fan, but why are WWE referring to him as ‘the future’??? He’s been in this wrestling sh!t from 2006 as a member of the Spirit Squad and sh!t… that’s nearly a decade yo!

Oh dear…. Eric Rowan isn’t doing very well is he? He keeps getting punched through school buses… all you gotta do is put on your buzzard mask and look at Big Show funny… I promise you, he’s not the master of his own bladder!

I love The New Day! Full of positivity.. just like me!!! I can’t help but feel that during their interview with Renée Young dastardly dark thoughts were going through their head! I mean Big E was sweating for crying out loud! Renée is HOT!!!! Now STC member Dawn Bayley can back me up on this, but if three black men are around one attractive woman such as Renée, bad things are bound to happen… she’s seen me and my boys around a female…

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Bella Twins Vs Natalya & Alicia Fox… makes me think of that new Total Divas advert… I’m a bit upset that Naomi isn’t in it this season, but those divas get a n!**@ d!ck hard!!!

Look at Jericho… he’s hosting the highlight reel… I hope he says some hot sh!t to Lana!!! I WOULD!!! If she said SHUT-TUP to me… I’d tell her – YOU SHUT-TUP!!! Stick this d!ck in your mouth!!!

Y2J Lana

GET HER Y2J!!!!! OH NY GOD NO!!!! He thinks something is not right between Rusev & Lana!!! Rusev so ‘stressed out’!!! he wants to show Lana his ‘Sputnik’!!!! OH NO!!! Lana & Jericho, trying to ‘SHUT-TUP’ each other!!! Was it me or was Lana going red in her face? Because we know that in real life Lana & Rusev are f**k!n!!!! Jericho killed me in this segment!!!!

Picture them married, Lana & Rusev, K.I.S.S.I.N.G.  They remember the first time, Lana & Rusev… F.U.C.K.I.N.G.!!!

Rusev tried to keep a straight face!!!! That was BRILLIANT!

HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!!!! RYBACK???? Ok – I am confident – Ryback can take him!!!! I believe Ryback can win! Rusev had to retreat yo!!!!

#DoTheKnowledge moment – They just showed the vignette for The Ascension….. one of ‘em looks like Undertaker’s younger brother on some ministry sh!t! They on the come up!!! But yo – guess who came out to fight straight after? The New Day…. just doing the knowledge…

You are joking…. you cats in Detroit could NEVER be chanting for CM P**k…. I don’t get it… The New Day Vs Gold/StarDust… you are seeing WRESTLING…. that’s what you want right?

Now you’re chanting NXT… well f**k off to NXT wand watch their product!!!! Understand who I am: I am The Infamous Informer, and I hate negative wrestling fans! SAM_3844Here’s a remote – change the channel! And Shut the f**k up!

So that’s what their super move is called? The Midnight Hour! I like that sh!t!!!!!

You know what else I like? Even though I see Glenn in his Sunday School Trousers, there is always hints of my hero Kane trying to come out… he just told Adam Rose he and Glenn are fighting…. Party’s Over Tell The Rest Of The Crew!!!

Mitchell Cole – STOP calling Glenn the Big Red Monster! The man wears Sunday School Trousers, he doesn’t bring fire & brimstone anymore… he’s as human as you and me!

Or maybe not…. he just double chokeslammed Adam Rose & The Bunny…OH SNAP!!!! The TOMBSTONE!!! TOMBSTONE!!! KANE JUST TOMBSTONED THE BUNNY!!! (In my best JR Voice!)

I don’t know why Jericho bothered to go into his wrestling attire just to fight Paul Heyman… I’d just throw on something like The Rock would wear when he fought Mankind!!!

Rock bioMaybe Jericho should have taken that $200 cheque that Heyman wrote… because Heyman uttered the dreaded words – BRRRRROCCCK, LESSSSNAAAR!!! Hang on – HE’S HERE???!!!!! OH SNAP!!!! He just smiled in Jericho’s face…. Jericho was like – Er…. f**k that – the best defense is a great offense! Well that didn’t go so well – F5 – BLAOW!!!! What makes matters worse, Fandango decides now is a good time to come out! Looks like Fandango is gonna hold on to that Slammy a lil’ while longer!!!

Ha! Fandango dancing with Rosa Mendes and NOT putting it in – INJUSTICE!!! Roman Reigns is coming down the stairs!!!! He just speared Fandango out is dancing shoes!!! Now what does this Big Slow want!!! Reigns warned him – Come down to this ring and see w’happen to yuh! Superman punch in the mouth – BLAOW!!!! Even Big Slow was like – LAWWWWWWD!!! Found himself retreating for the hills like a dyam arse! Roman Reigns should have taken off with Rosa… that’s what I would have done! I got a spear for her too.. after all she loves being sexual and walk naked all over the house!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WWE doing more sh!t regarding Sting & The Undertaker on the WWE Network…. I’m saying hmmmmmmm….

Look at Naomi watching her man whupp The Miz’s @$$… Jimmy Uso – You are the second luckiest bastard on this planet I swear down! (So who’s the first Grant???) Who else??? ME!!!! Infamous Informer, Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw, Grant Body – P! When your girl plays Tekken, Call Of Duty, Need For Speed, is a WWE/UFC fan, and loves the Wu-Tang Clan, plus she’s a Native/Canadian, then me and you can have a conversation!

Well that cage….. it’s coming down…. Seth & Cena gonna fight…. and Brock is in the building… Oh boy…. somebody gonna get buss arse tonight!

Oh hell naw!!!! Ho Ho Ho Hogan on the Christmas show next week??? Cage Amateurs UK can I get the week off???

If Seth Rollins wants to teach Cena a lesson, why did he try to escape the cage so quick????

When will Cena learn that his 5 moves if doom no longer work??? Guaranteed his opponent will counter that technique or kick out at 2 somewhere?

Dayuuuum! Seth & Cena destroying each other in that muthaf***a! Cena hit the FU/AA super move from the top of the cage! Cena got this!!!!

OH SNAP!!!! CENA & SETH DEAD NOW!!!!! Now my common sense and instincts would say – LEAVE THE CAGE and RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!! Oh no too late – Brock’s in the cage! I think he’s just gonna say hello to Cena… 3 German Suplexes!!! BLAOW-BLAOW-BLAOW!!! All that while Seth is watching…. I would have been GONE!!!

Wait a minute!!! (JR VOICE) Paul Heyman & Rollins are shaking hands!!!!! OH HELL 2 DA NAW!!!! Rollins just become the new Heyman guy on some Mortal Kombat Deadly Alliance Shang Tsung Quan Chi sh!t???? Hmmm… I think Rollins is clever here if you ask me! Do I wanna get buss arse by Lesnar? I think I’ll pass! join forces…. hey – if you brought a new car… you would buy insurance on that sh!t wouldn’t ya??!!! Exactly – so SHUDDUP!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1118: October 28, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

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The Infamous Informer

Pay homage HIACLet me get this right so I can understand this: You got what you wanted, Dean Ambrose Vs Seth Rollins in the Main Event of the PPV… they pay homage to the first two major Hell In A Cell matches, Undertaker Vs Shawn Michaels & Mankind respectively, add their own elements, Bray Wyatt interferes on some crazy sh!t, and y’all still didn’t like that? You wait til I go on STC from the UK – BDSIR Network this weekend…. That’s all I’m saying!

My people Where Is The Love????? I dunno…. F**K!!!

Oh yeah y’all dun made him angry again – RAW #1118! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZTHIS IS IT PEOPLE! The road to WWE2K15 is finally here! I gets mine Friday! GET YOURZ!

Look at Triple TEEF fixing Glenn’s tie!!! Haha!!!!

Big up yourself Seth Rollins you look a bit mash-up!!! Well done – sell the wounds! I bet Cena don’t sell that sh!t!

I don’t get it – why are you moving on to John Cena, Seth? Explain yourself!

Oh seen he’s booked in a match???!!! Ok cool…. but wait a minute… Mr King of the Vines is here!

DAYUUUM I’ve never seen Randall so BEX!!!!! He wants to f**k up Rollins! Say what Triple? Take the night off? Even Triple can’t handle Randall’s rage! RKO to Rollins – BLAOW!!! Er where’s that cell at? Bring that sh!t down here!!!! Is Seth Rollins that teef that even Randall has to turn face?

Do you consider the tag team titles as the consolation prize after both Mark Henry & Big Show failed to defeat Rusev? The crowd chanting USA…. and Lana’s not there yet? SHUT-TUP!!!

Uh-oh problems brewing again with Henry & Show… if they’re not careful they might break the ring!

20111023_vs_henry_bs3_r_0Yo that new submission by Big Show is worries!!!! That’s one modification for WWE2K15 already!

OH SNAP!!!! Well we saw it coming to be fair! Mark Henry turned evil against The Big Show! World’s Strongest Slam to the Big Show – BLAOW!!!! Do it twice – BLAOW!!!! Three Times – BLAOW!!! run up – World’s Strongest Splash – BLAOW!!! THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!! Where’s my Mark Henry shirt – I’m wearing that with pride rude boy!!!!

Oh man, another wants to f**k up Seth Rollins – my ninja Roman Reigns! well so much for me hoping for Roman Reigns vs Triple Teef…. that has completely derailed now!

I hope AJ Lee has kept it moving from Paige… I’m not impressed that there wasn’t any stipulations along the way…. oh goddamnit Paige is at ringside… NO San Antonio chanting for… oh no they have come to their senses…. Let’s go AJ! That’s what I like to hear!

Paige how are you gonna turn Alicia into a punk rock chick??? I have it on great authority that Alicia loves her Tinashe! Some Jhene Aiko!

Come on Alicia don’t let the punk rock chick beat you up like that???!!!!! What happened to your ghetto ways? All that random sh!t you was on??? You need to show this little gyal who’s boss! The youth of today… no respect….

Makes a change doesn’t it? John Cena is actually getting cheered here! But he’s getting cheered a bit too much… that’s why sexy Stephanie has to come out here with hardcore thuganomics of her own!

Oh sh!t Stephanie put Cena on blast!!!! Haha! He has to suck up to the fans! Hang on – NO – Don’t tell me Stephanie is offering Cena to send for the Authority? NO!!!!! Turn evil and sh!t!!! The IWC could be getting a hard on here! You know Cena ain’t gonna do that sh!t!!!!

You know what it is? It’s because they are the verge of losing Randall, the so-called face?

YOU DON’T SAY NO TO STEPHANIE???? 10 years ago she made you tap her @$$! How many guys besides Triple does Stephanie tell that to? Now look what you done! Triple TEEF is out here!

BACKSIDE!!! Team Authority Vs Team Cena for Survivor Series??? I have a question – does Team Authority include Triple TEEF? Because if it does – straight up and down Team Cena has lost! Triple has a point though… The locker room isn’t feeling Cena, who’s gonna team up with him? After all according to the IWC he buries muthaf***az! Cena looks worried and sh!t!!!!

Looks like Cena is wasting no time! Asking Ziggler to join his team? Instantly I’m backing Team Authority… I’m sorry Cena!

That’s what’s up!!!! My hero Kane (his name’s Glenn Grant) I don’t give a damn! He wants to f**k up Ziggler! DO IT KANE! KILL HIM!!!!

But first.. Hulk Hogan.. let’s see what this dude has to say …..BROTHER!

Oh it’s just bigging up Susan Komen…. yeah whatever – Susan Komen – show Hulk Hogan your t!++!£$!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

HOLY F**K!!!! Well Bo Dallas issued an open challenge…. but Ryback???!!! WROOOOOOOY!!!! That’s my dawg!!!! GET HIM RYBACK! KILL!GRANT & LAYLA WWE2K15

Why have I got this feeling that Ryback will join Team Cena????

Check it – NO GOLDBERG CHANTS!! Finally! We just glad to see this dude back! Well at least I am!

If it’s true about Cesaro talking sh!t about Cena, expect this guy to lose all the time… and by the looks of his opponent – Dean Ambrose? Right this is the part where the Wyatt man dem gonna f**k him up again…. that sh!t was wild yo!

Ambrose straight up assaulting Cesaro! F**k!n him up with the microphone!!! He ain’t afraid of Bray Wyatt! Dammmn this dude is next level yo!!!

Uh oh!!! I’ve had my toilet break… I wanna see this Bella sh!t… this should be jokes!

See that wasn’t so bad was it Brie? All you had to do was accompany Nikki to the ring…. and raise her hand in victory, it wasn’t like she told you to bark like a dog and roll around in mud like Vince did to Trish!

GET HIM KANE! KILL ZIGGLER! KILL HIM!!!!

Goddamnit I thought Undertaker taught you how to do the last ride Kane? You let Ziggler use counter technique? Come better than that Kane! Don’t let me call you Glenn!

BASTARD!!!! Ziggler out wrestled Glenn…. Damnit – set that muthaf***a on fire…. oh yeah I forgot – he’s not a monster is he? Just a man in Sunday School Trousers…

It’s ok – Seth has come to stomp out Ziggler, but Cena just had to come out and fight with Ziggler…. urgh, I feel my apple pie about to rise up my throat…

As usual, Cena seemingly unscathed from Hell In A Cell, Seth Rollins looks mash-up… anyway enough of this sh!t – when is Randall gonna appear and drop RKOs on both their candy @$$£$?

HA! HA! TEEF!!!! Seth’s stooges Patterson & Bri- er I mean Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury interfering and beating on Cena! These guys make me laugh!

For a man who you fools say only knows 5 moves…. he knows how to put on a great match doesn’t he? If the crowd is chanting – THIS IS AWESOME! He continues to prove you f**az wrong! But hol’on! Ziggler & Glenn! joining the war! F**k that – the entire locker room  has rushed the ring!!! Dunno why, it’s not like the Royal Rumble is around the corner…

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

BDSIR Networkwww.cageamateursuk.com

Monday Night Raw #1114: September 29, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

 

WELCOME EVERYONE TO WWE RAW: JUDGMENT DAY!!!! We are live from a sold out Chicago crowd! And they are all pumped up and ready, chanting for the guy I like to call Philippa Brukk!!! Infamous Informer here on commentary taking you through the next 3 hours and 15 minutes of wrestling action!

GRYM REAPER CALLING – JUDGMENT DAY!!! RAW #1114! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

SHOUT OUT TO STC MEMBER DARREN BRUNTON! IT’S HIS BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK! SHOW SOME ADMIRATION & RESPECT!

And they’ve started! Oh snap! Stephanie is putting the QUITTERS on blast!!! See how she switches it up to Dean Ambrose though!!!! HA! HA!

May Paul Heyman interject??? Will he mention Phillipa’s name blatantly?!!! Nope he’s gonna talk about BRRROCCK LESSSNAR!

Well Seth Rollins is right…. no one wants to see Cena win the title, but by claiming that Brock Lesnar is the ‘BEST’, the crowd took that as an insult to Philipa…

So Seth is like, Ambrose, give back the briefcase with my cheque in there… Ambrose appears on-screen… he’s like – if yuh tink say your name bad man, come fe it nuh? And according to you IWC b!tches, John Cena just had to steal the limelight from Ambrose by attacking Rollins… I dun explained to you how Cena is in this storyline… y’all just hating… so The Grant Says – SHUT THE F**K UP!

HA! HA! Jamie Noble gives me joke! He wants  some sledge hammers to aid in retrieving the briefcase… you know NO-ONE wields that thing except for Triple TEEF!!!!

I’m glad Ziggler has killed that noise he was going on with R-Truth… Cesaro you are a don, I hope you defeat The Miz & Ziggler in this Triple Threat Match for the Intercontinental Championship… babestation ain’t saying nuthin either… I guess it’s a quick game of Tekken!

Side note – I’m glad that this will be the last episode of Raw I’ll be watching via stream… this Wednesday – let’s get that Network! HEY! It better not be no £9.99! charge us the same you charge the states! No funny business knowing this dyam country!

In fact f**k Tekken – let’s post this pic of Stephanie with her fine self… just for no reason!

Steph Raw Chicago

Actually this wrestling contest is not bad! Plenty pinning predicaments! Great counter techniques! But damnit, Cesaro hit the Sho-ryu-ken on The Miz, Ziggler kicks down Cesaro and takes advantage of the pin and defends his title…

So who are these guys? Jamie Noble & his bredrin? Are they the new Patterson & Brisco??? HAHAHAHAHA!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

It’s okay people, my girl Sophia Lares is back on babestation… she’s on standby for when RAW comes with some stupidness…

I’m sick of stupid muthaf***az running up my inbox while RAW is on… what the f**k do they want at this time of night? Worse than that – I get someone running up my inbox telling me to ‘like’ his profile picture… I ain’t no battyman – get the f**k outta here with that sh!t!

WTF was that all about with The Wyatt Family? Most notably Luke Harper? What is this – a singles career launch??? Answers on a postcard please – Tweet me @MZATheInfamous, or hit us up at our FB group –http://www.facebook.com/groups/smacktalkcentre – Request To Join – Don’t Be a Weirdo!

Jesus have mercy LAYLA!!!! My god you look so f**kable! What’s this I hear – you have a new boyfriend???? I’m gonnaGRANT & LAYLA WWE2K15 find him… and SKIN HIM ALIVE!

Yo Jerry Lawler you still got it for lyrics! ‘Love is Grand, Divorce is 100Grand!’ I ought to remember that!

OH SNAP!!! Rosa’s extensions fell out her headtop!!! She might be the star of Total Divas, but this is RAW – where Layla is my star!!

Is it me, or does Dean Ambrose entrance music sound like that Puff Daddy tune??? Me cyan’t remember the name of it… I think it was for some film or something…

Oh snap! Ambrose is having a Chicago clearance sale??? He can’t do that surely?

WOW!! the crowd are chanting for someone other than Philipa Brukk!!!

Come on Patterson & Brisco!!! Do your job and get the briefcase!!!

Oh hang on… reinforcements!!! Looks like Ambrose wants no problems with these guys he calls ‘rosebuds’…. he’s going back up the stairs Shield style… he’s like – Seth Rollins – take your briefcase…what I wanna know is – why did Seth open that thing???? OH SNAP – what is that slimy sh!t coming out that messed up Rollins good suit??? He’s lucky it’s that and not what happened to The McMahons & the Spirit Squad back in 2006!

Even Randall & Glenn are laughing about it!!!! OH SH!T!!

First Swagger, now you wanna f**k with Mark Henry, Bo Dallas??? You don’t want to do that sir!!! Say what – Close the Hall Of Pain????? That’s only gonna keep the Hall Of Pain open BIG TIME!

Say what? Bo Dallas defeated Mark Henry???? What in the flying f**k???!!!!!

Shocked Undertaker 21-1 face2THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU DO HENRY???!!!! 

Suddenly Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak is irrelevant… Mark Henry lost to Bo muthaf***!n Dallas???? Oh HELL TO DA NAW!!!

That’s more like it!!!! Henry just f**ked up Bo Dallas backstage!!! Now THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!

Oh I get it…. will this Bella feud end in an I Quit match??? Hmmm….. I know y’all not interested… now putting Cameron & Eva Marie up against Brie Bella… is it REALLY a handicap match? If Tamina and Alicia Fox came out then I’d say yeah for sure…

Now look what you Bellas have done! Got the crowd chanting for JBL, Jerry Lawler & Michael Cole! Well it’s better than Philipa…. you know what? I think the crowd are finally come to terms with the truth… Note – AJ Lee hasn’t come out yet… was it a move by WWE for AJ Lee NOT to appear on Raw??? Or was it AJ Lee that thought – f**k that – I’m not about to bust my @$$ (Literally) out there only for the crowd to chant for a man who crosses his legs and whines like a b!tch… oh wait…. that’s my man…

GRANT BODY – P!!!

So hold on… Adam Rose & the Bunny are on commentary? And we got Slater, Gator and mini gator (Hornswoggle)? The Bunny actually has a WWE profile??? Ok this is the part where I watch babestation… F**K that – Chant Philipa’s name! You have my permission!

You gotta problem with Hip Hop JBL???? You gotta problem with me!!! Don’t let me come down there and Timberland Boot Stomp your @$$!

People are loving the Big Show! You know why? Because on Smackdown, Big Show punched Rusev through school buses! PPPPPPPP!!!! I’ve missed that super-move!

Hold up – Rusev can speak English??? Since when???!!!! SHUT UP!!!!

Rusev don’t want none of Big Show….after all that talk of breaking every bone in his body??? Rusev you got no barz!!!

OH NO! Big Show just pulled down the Russian flag! He can’t do that???? Big Show gonna be in trouble for sure! (yes I know Jericho, you disrespected the Brazilian flag and you got in trouble…)

NO Cena you didn’t just say that!!!! You can’t say Chicago is your type of town??!!!! That must sting!!!! I love the darts being thrown by the WWE superstars!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

But I gotta agree with Ambrose… the beef started with him & Rollins… it’s not your fight really… I mean it is to an extent but it’s so personal with Ambrose… so stop stealing Ambrose’s Yam & dumpling and get your own sh!t… you love your fruity pebbles don’t you? And by the way… your T-shirt is WACK! I don’t care if it’s promoting Cancer research or whatever!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

OH SNAP!!! AJ LEE IS HERE!!!! Is she gonna cut a promo??? Nope, she’s gonna fight! Better get my ear plugs…

Well Paige don’t want none of AJ Lee… so she sent Alicia Fox after her! er AJ… if I was you I would lose this fight…. and she has!!! Alicia hasn’t gotta go crazy all over Chicago!

Oh Lawwwd they beat down AJ Lee in Chicago… shot after shot after shot at Philipa… this is WWE firing shots at dude like his name is Scarface when he took 50 licks!

Shock! Horror! Now we gotta wait til NOVEMBER 1, for the WWE Network! Blodclart!!!! David Cameron what the f**k did you do??? I mean, WWE2K15 comes out at the same time! I’m going to see Common Live on London at that time! I don’t think it’s gonna work out….

Shout out to Hulk Hogan and all the ladies in the world that are putting boots2breastcancer…Show the world that you are proud of your t!++!£$! Don’t let the evil cancer take away your t!++!£$! We love your t!++!£$, and so should you!

It’s kinda funny how Glenn complains about Seth starting fires and he has to put em out… you see? My Hero Kane STARTS FIRES!!! I HATE GLENN DAMNIT!!!

I like Dean Ambrose’s hoodie… got that Anarky feel to it…. then you got the total opposite, Mr Fruity Pebbles himself…. considering it’s breast cancer awareness month, in the case of Cena, THE MILK’S GONE BAD!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Well well, Seth Rollins shut down another main event…. oh f**k!nhell look at Cena and Ambrose fighting over who should f**k up Rollins…see that’s what happens when you on that bullsh!t – RKO, CHOKESLAM, THEN A CURB STOMP – BLAOW!!!! Both Cena & Ambrose laid out, crowd chanting ‘Thank you Rollins’, and NO returning star… no Batista, no Bryan, no Philipa Brukk…. NOBODY… y’all been reading them muthaf***!n dirt sheets too much, and now y’all not smiling… YES, NOBODY’S SMILING… except ME!!! WHOEVER LOSES, I WIN BIATCH!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

BDSIR Networkwww.cageamateursuk.com

Monday Night Raw #1107: August 11, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

With celebration comes tragedy….

Not only are we celebrating Hulk Hogan’s birthday, and Hip Hop’s birthday (41 years young, birthplace – 1520 Sedgwick Ave), We lose a comedy icon, the man call Robin Williams… can we please get a moment of silence….

ANYWAY!!!!!!! GRANT BODY – P!!!

Don’t expect the Infamous Informer to show compassion for someone he was never a fan of! Not that he wasn’t a fan, just like he never grew up watching Mork & Mindy…nah-mean??

ENOUGH OF THAT SH!T! This week’s chosen indulgence: Pretty much the same as last week! It’s all about Summerslam at the Hogshead STC! Get your sh!t sorted, do you wanna end up saying ‘I Can’t Get In Da Club’ because you didn’t prioritize????

We got a birthday to celebrate damnit! I’m not here to mourn – F**K THAT! Let’s run some joke, that’s what Robin Williams would have wanted. RAW #1107! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZOh snap! Presents all over the stage for Hulk Hogan…do you think Brock Lesnar will kick down all the gifts????

Paul Heyman doesn’t do promos, he does DISSERTATIONS!!!! WHOA!!!!

Did this epic dissertation just turn into Heyman dropping Hardcore Thuganomics???? DAYUUUUM!!!! That was real talk though, everyone Brock destroyed, we don’t see them again!!!! How come he didn’t bring up Triple Teef when his client Brock Lesnar broke his arm???

…and what does Heyman mean by when Brock wins the title, this is HIS HOME??? He’s not implying what some fans are thinking is he? That according to reports, Brock will hold the title all the way til WrestleMania? This is how I KNOW that it was just hatred against The Rock when he won the title last year… now you made The Infamous Informer REAL MAD…. you picked the wrong day to f**k with the don!!! Ask those 2 big ‘pansies’ who called themselves ‘wrestlers’ at the PWL event recently???!!! It takes two of em to call out the Infamous???? Next time I’m coming to that event with my Roman Reigns SWAT attire and a steel chair…

Talking of Roman Reigns… he gotta fight Rybaxel, and Kane has traded his mask for his school trousers again……OH NO!!!!! No more setting people on fire, no more tombstones on priests…. people this is Kane’s way of winding down his career….let’s be real…

I see signs with $9.99 in the crowd! Better than that – I see signs with the Wu-Tang Logo in the crowd!!!!! And James Patrick Park Jr could not represent with his Smack Talk Centre sign last week…. KMT!!!

You mean to tell me that the combined force of Rybaxel were not enough to stop Roman Reigns? You two are WACK!!!!! Then that sexy @$$ Renée Young asking Roman question…. I’d have a ‘spear’ ready and waiting for that sexy lady! But I gotta say that pic of Renée looking like she taking a p!$$ in the urinal was disturbing….

Renee Young Urinal

As Seth Rollins battles RVD, Dean Ambrose picked the stipulation: A Lumberjack match??? Theoretically this means every one on the roster gets paid for Summerslams…. however I’m not feeling it. You mean to tell me that all this time that’s how Ambrose wants to f**k up Rollins? What happened to an I QUIT match? Parking lot brawl? Even a Lions Den match? F**k that – send for the Punjabi Prison in that muthaf***a!

This must make the 50th time that RVD & Rollins have fought…. and every-time it is entertaining. What a shame it wasn’t a full-blown feud….

Why didn’t you trust your instincts Rollins? Now we know what was one of Hogan’s presents! Ambrose himself! Exploding out of that package, trying to put beats on Rollins, and as usual Rollins takes his briefcase and runs for his life! You see what I mean for a stipulation? Lumberjack match….. Damnit Vincent Kennedy, are you that brukk that you can’t afford even the basic blue steel cage????

Uh-oh…. Stephanie has a confession… is she gonna adopt the Vincent Kennedy walk???

Oh hang on – some girl named Megan has a confession???? Who is she – Danny Bryan’s personal therapist? I’ve got a bad feeling where this is going…

No way – Megan’s saying that she’s been riding on Danny’s d!ck???? What is this – a parody of that Jay-Z & Beyonce mistress sh!t going on???

Look at Stephanie’s face!!! Rubbin it in!!!! I don’t think Megan did anything at all – Stephanie’s like – ‘Here’s $9.99 – get yourself the WWE Network!’

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Brie Bella has gone buckwild! You don’t see that Stephanie trickify? Wait a minute – Brie has learned a new move! The Yes-Lock!!! OH SNAP!!!! All this is, it’s Triple Vs Danny Bryan – the wives edition!

Shout out to BDSIR NETWORK co-host and STC Member Chris Spotface McClain who pointed out that Cesaro doesn’t get introduced no more, now it’s all about Wack Swagger…. so disrespectful! I sincerely hope Rusev CRUSHES Swagger’s backbone at Summerslams!

I didn’t even check for that Cesaro Vs Swagger match…. I don’t give a damn about it, nor do I care about Zeb Colter’s bullsh!t @$$ promo… let’s get to the interview with Jericho & Bray Wyatt…

Did you make head or tail of that interview with Bray Wyatt & Chris Jericho?  No? Me neither…. let’s see the Divas Champion AJ Lee and datGRANT & LAYLA WWE2K15 @$$ in action!

Dayum she fighting Eva Marie! And 10 seconds into the match Paige just had to skip in the picture, I thought it was All Red Everything??? OH SNAP!!!! EVA MARIE WIN!!! If it’s good enough for Heath Slater last week, it’s good enough for Eva Marie! Now she can fight for a Title shot!

Now Paige is dropping Hardcore Thuganomics on her ‘frenemy’!!!! I get it!!!!! It is Hip Hop’s birthday after all!

Speaking of Hardcore Thuganomics….here’s the Doctor himself!!!! Come on Cena, draw for your Book of Rhymes! Don’t let Heyman out rhyme you and make Hip Hop look bad on her birthday!

Well IWC, you just got called out by John Cena! When will he turn evil? When will he stop being that dude with the fruity pebble T-shirts? Cena claims he’s gonna go BUCKWILD on Brock at Summerslam! Cena punkin out Brock and now a capacity crowd chanting Cena’s name! I thought Cena Sucks guys? I thought he was the same old sh!t for 10 years? To fight a beast, you must become a beast! Well The Grant Says, to those PWL wrestlers, one of em named Old B*stard…. to fight The Infamous YOU must become Infamous!

Shout out to STC members Dawn Bayley and Josh Kohli!

Hang on – Brie Bella & Stephanie are gonna fight now? They’re not gonna wait til Summerslams???? Nah Stephanie is up to something surely!

OH HELL NAW!!!! Stephanie paid Megan to press charges and send Brie to jail! She can’t go Brie Mode in there???? Not again – not Prisoner Cell Block HHH!

Stephanie’s right – if you believe in the words of the bible – What goes around comes around…. looks like Megan is gonna get not just the WWE Network, but she might have a contract to fight for the divas title for up to a year as well!!!! Maybe even a 50 inch TV and a PS$/XBoxOne to play an advanced copy of WWE2K15 on it!

Now that Miz is here and Ziggler is about to compete, this is the part where I get my necessary refreshments…. hang on, Slater is fighting??? Hang on he could pick up another win here!

OH SNAP!!!! Too much focus on trying to beat on The Miz’s money-maker, Slater wins by count-out!!!! YES!!! (don’t expect me to support Slater again…)

Terrible sportsmanship by Ziggler, why he had to drop the Zig-Zag super move on Slater? All Slater did was held out his hand to say good game to Ziggler… and you support this fool…. I am appalled!

While Randall Teef Orton Battles Sheamus, and everyone on Facebook is putting R.I.P. Robin Williams, I just wanna take this time to give a shout out to a comedian that I personally miss…..

Live On Live Long Uncle Phil

…like I knew Randall was gonna win this, but it was how…. so here’s me looking on the Real Ebony Babes FB page, when I heard – BLAOW!!!! RKO to Sheamus as he left the top ropes! Yep – An RKO out of nowhere!!!! BORING – okay it was a good wrestling contest, which a few feel it should have been for the US title (Don’t ask me why – ask STC member Anthony Cardenas) I would rather see an altercation between Reigns and Randall… that’s how I see it anyway!

STC Summerslam banner

Enough foolishness! we have a birthday to celebrate!!!! Hulk Hogan SALUTE!!!!

Shout out to Mean Gene Okerlund and Jimmy Hart! Anyone would think WrestleMania is coming!

An emotional and epic video package for Hulk Hogan right there, I just wish it was that Jimi Hendrix tune they rocked for it though!

They even got Hulk Hogan promoting the network! It’s $9.99 brother! And you jabronies don’t wanna buy it? You cheap arse muthaf***az – GET IN THE CHAIR!

OH SNAP!!!! Nature Boy Ric Flair in the building brother! My grandma would be proud god bless her soul! Dayum Mr Wonderful Paul Orndoff is here! BACK FOOT! Teach the kids their wrestling history! His theme is epic rude boy!

Roddy Piper is here too! I can’t lie, that wasn’t a surprise! Piper looks like he still got beef with Hogan from all those years back!

NO! NOT THE NWO MUSIC! Kevin Nash & Scott Hall are here! In their NWO colours!!! Who said Scott Hall was in a wheelchair? GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

Hey Scott Hall – we started that Survey Says sh!t – you keep the…. UH OH….BROCK LESNAR???!!! OH MY GOD!!! He can’t crash the party!

About time Cena turned up! If he never turned up…bwoy…. you know what I would have loved??? If Unde…..Ah forget it!!!!!

Oh by the way… what was that about Sting turning up on Raw???? GET IN THE CHAIR!!!!!

Remember now…it’s all about Summerslams…. if you can’t get in da club, you have yourself to blame!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

 

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

www.cageamateursuk.comBDSIR Network

Monday Night Raw #1096: May 26, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Stephanie McMahon won the women’s title back in 2000, she never defended that sh!t.

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Dean Ambrose won the US title and held it for 352 days… he never defended it in half that time.

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Your Wrestling God CM Punk, held the WWE title for 434 days, he was injured for about a few months in that time, and never had to give up his title.

THIS IS NOT RIGHT! Now Danny Bryan, just won the title at WrestleMania, suffers a neck injury, had successful surgery, should be back in a couple of months at best, but suddenly Triple TEEF and Stephanie McTEEF want him to surrender his title???

THIS IS JUST NOT RIGHT!!!

Are we going into the Payback PPV without a Championship match??? RAW #1095, HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF LogoNotice that when usually WWE does a Memorial Day tribute video or Tribute to the Troops package John Cena usually does the narrating? Why isn’t he doing it now??? I’m jussayin…

ENOUGH!!! LET’S GET INTO IT!!!

OH NO…. not the Authoritaaah! I guess there is no messing about! Danny Bryan! GIVE UP THE GOODS!!!

But before the main event, looks like they called out Brad Maddox…. I think dude is gonna be fired…. Yeah FIRE HIS B!TCH @$$!

Brad said he was forced by The Shield???? WRONG ANSWER!!!!! Look w’happen now… IT’S KANE!!!!

What is worse than being fired??? My Hero Kane grabbing that scrawny neck of Maddox… CHOKESLAM!!!! BLAOW!!! Pick him up, turn him upside down…. TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE!!!!! Oh SNAP!!! HE IS FIRED!!! Can he take this to the tribunal??? I don’t like his chances!

Hold up – Cesaro is gonna fight RVD? And Paul Heyman has mentioned nothing about his Client Brock Lesnar conquering the Undertaker’s Streak?

Oh snap! Bad News for RVD! He’s not gonna win the Intercontinental title, but good news for us! He’s at commentary!

Hol on – Bad News for Barrett! RVD just kicked him in his mouth!!! Oh dear RVD gonna pay for that surely!

There you go! Distraction by Barrett baited up the – enough of that sh!t – Sheamus just kicked Cesaro in his mouth!!!! DAYUM!!!!!

Payback WWERing the alarm!!! Eva Marie is about to fight!!!! Run to the toilet for your lives!!!

I can’t believe they made Summer Rae a ‘face’… I get it – it’s all that Total Divas business…

Don’t you think it should be the other way round? Eva Marie as the ‘face’ and Summer as the ‘heel since Summer seems to be disliked on Total Divas terms…

LOOK PON LAYLA’S DRESS! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! SAY IT AGAIN JAY-BEE! SHE DOES LOOK AMAZING!

Batista is my friend but big ups to Cody Rhodes who just called him a skinny jeans sell out and his bredrin – RK-BLOW! Oh boy gotta give props to the Rhodes bruddas but they gonna get brukk up by EVILOUTION!

Oh no not this 3.5MB and this Los Jobbodor nonsense…. this is the part where I go to the toilet, wash my hands, get a pack of cookies, top up my glass of Black Grape and check the meter and hit the emergency so that the electric doesn’t go out on me!

WTF??? Hornswoggle pulls off the tail of El Torito then in the back the doc puts it back on??? That ain’t PG mayyyyyn!!!

Why have I got this feeling that Bray Wyatt is gonna make that into a single – He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands??? I wonder – do they still sing that at primary school?

OH SNAP!!! Bray Wyatt just said that Cena is the enemy of us all! And the capacity crowd cheered!

I can’t believe the Wyatt man dem brukk up JAY-BEE! OH SNAP!

Damn they put Jerry Lawler on blast!!! All he did was big up Cena… he was gonna send for the Sister Abigail!!! Big ups to The USOs for coming to save Lawler’s clart! Not sure I agree with Cena saying Wyatt crossed the line… for Wyatt to cross the line he would have to rape Nikki Bella! YEAH I SAID IT! And get her pregnant too! THE FORBIDDEN SEED!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Holy crap – Zack Ryder gets TV Time! BLODCLART!!!! Susan Brunton step away from the….


Pic courtesy of STC member Lee Steadx
Maybe I need to step away from the cocoa butter!!! First Layla now Lana with her tight blouse and skirt!!! But Rusef…. KILL RYDER! KILL HIM!!!! LET’S GO!!!

No use chanting USA!!! Not even Hulk Hogan can save you now!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Hold up – Big E!!! He just gave Rusev some Black Fist beatings!!!! Reppin for USA and his people!!!! You know what that means! I gotta draw for the tune!

Oh man! I knew Cody flying around the ring would land him a RKO – BLAOW!!! And that Triple TEEF just changed the rules! Now it’s a no holds barred elimination match? they gonna f**k up Goldust! I call INJUSTICE!!! It is No Holds Barred!!! COME DOWN THE STAIRS GUYS!!!

RKO followed by a Batista Bomb through the canvas – BLAOW!!!! Sh!t… they didn’t come down the stairs… damn… I suppose it’s time to BO-lieve…

Ok let me see this Bo Dallas fighting style…. I heard negativity already from the IWC… they don’t give these cats a chance…

He’s not too bad!!! His super move is the BO-DOG, well it’s a more hefty version of Spike Dudley’s move, that’s it… hold up, where is that fool in the world today? Last time I saw him, he got his @$$ whupped by Stone Cold Steve Austin because AustinGrant & Leanna cussed down Molly Holly… you fat @$$ ungrateful b!tches…. why don’t you jump on that muthaf***!n treadmill, wipe the dust off that muthaf***a, and BOlieve that you can shed that weight instead of being keyboard warriors? Too fat to even climb into a wrestling ring, but are quick to cuss down these new cats? F**KOUTTAHERE!

HERE WE GO!!! Stephanie is here!!! Time for Danny Bryan to GIVE UP THE GOODS!


Well well well how about that then? Let’s be real – we knew Danny wouldn’t give up his title… after all he has valid reason not to and I agree 100%! Ever since he won at big BIG WrestleMania they tried to take the title from him anyway! He just said NO in Stephanie’s face to the point where Steph had to wipe the spit fire from her face!

Here’s the twist! Steph didn’t even slap Danny in the face! she thought that ain’t gonna hurt him, what will hurt him is that if he doesn’t give up the goods at Payback, then Brie Bella is fired!!!! Stephanie McTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!! Death of the Bella Twins!

More Divas! I love this!!!! Alicia Fox! Emma-lution! Backing Alicia here!!!! Get her Alicia! Brukk her up! Emma can’t dance!

OH SNAP!!!! Emma won???? Er… bad move Emma! You should have let her win!

Oh my days Alicia KILLS IT! Throwing beer all over herself, beating up cameramen, pulling out the biggest wedgie since your beloved attitude era – I’m sure DX did something similar! Ringing the bell crazy! Er Paige… if I was you… I’d just lay your @$$ down for the 3…. it’s not worth it man! I’m sure STC’s Ash Blick would love to jump off top ropes on your @$$!

I’m not gonna speak on Adam Rose and ‘Davy Crockett’… but the Payback kick off YouTube match – El Torito Vs Hornswoggle in a Mask Vs Hair match???? Well THE GRANT SAYS – Hornswoggle…. GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

For a minute I thought I had nothing to write on the Bertie Vs Sheamus match, I can say two things…one , Sheamus looks f**ked up like he suffered a concussion, and two, I was wondering how long it would be before Heyman would announce that his client Brock Lesnar conquered the Undertaker’s streak at WrestleMania!

HERE WE GO!!!! Contract signing between The Shield and Evolution and The Shield are in business already! dashing out the chairs! We don’t need that sh!t!

Triple TEEF is acting like he got the hammer and the shovel ready for Sunday!!!

WTF are the crowd chanting???? Answers on a postcard please!

Paperwork out the way… BRING THE F**K!N RUCKUS!!!

OH NO!!! Triple TEEF has drawn for the hammer!!!! And he lick dem all down!!!! TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!! Set up the announce table, hoisted up Roman Reigns, all those months of powerbombing muthaf***az through tables has come back to haunt him! Batista with the powerbomb – BLAOW!!!! HIM DEAD NOW!!!

This is how it goes down! payback, Sunday June 1, 2014, someone ain’t getting up after 10, a diva is gonna go crazy whether she wins or loses, one team will be completely annihilated and somebody’s job is on the line and could be ‘fired’…. Yes I put that in quotations because what if my hero Kane is back there? How do you like your Brie Bella??? Cooked well done or Extra crispy???

Plus? Will STC Admin Ian Cooper’s dream come true? Will his beloved saviour come back and save the WWE? Oh he better hope and pray because if he is an atheist he better get himself baptized ASAP! I have a feeling Philip is gonna let him down again! And then…. THE CHAIR AWAITS… GRIM REAPER CALLING – JUDGMENT DAY!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Jobber Blogger #86 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 9/1/13

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The Jobber Blogger

Well I think it’s safe to say Writing these blogs are a pain in my ass! And trust me, I’ve multiple related Ass-Pains over my life. What was my last Ass-Pain you say? How about slaving over a 6’500 Word Article on the Best of TNA Wrestling to get one Comment! ONE! Sure it’s an awesome comment and I humbled, I beat my original record, and last year’s Blog got One Comment also.. but that one was negative. So a Hearty “Up Yours” to that guy! I’ve improved!

I did plan on my opening Paragraph to be entirely Wrestling based, and it kind of was. So let’s say this, TNA close out the year 2013 in awesome fashion! WHAT?! Yes, we all know this episode was filmed weeks ago, and it only just aired now. HOWEVER! It Was Immense!

Immense is a word I barely use. And speaking of barely anything, I just realized I’ve completely moved on from what I was originally going to Write about, to drift into something else, to then forget to Write about that and eventually come back on the rails to the ending of the first thing I forgot.

WRESTLING!

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 9/1/13

Yes, all of the above is indeed Irrelevant, but what is an Elephant is that TNA put on one hell of a show and it showed in the Ratings as they smashed the ratings getting the best viewership they’ve had in months. Which just kind of sucks because I’m sure it had all to do with AJ coming back, and now he’s gone, so that was the end of it. But it does show that their plan is working.

But what made this show special Mr. Blogger, well sit right there Timmy you over eager bastard, and I’ll tell you!

Dixie kicked off Impact by bringing out AJ’s final TNA contract, the Contract for “one more match” and then that’s it. AJ with his Phenomenal music and all came down to the ring, it’s a little bit gay (yes, gay, used the in the most correct of circumstances) that he didn’t just play “Evil Ways” for the entirety of his entrance, but as they say… “fish on a flop.”

The whole segment was Dixie enforcing her role not allowing AJ to speak, changing the match to a No Disqualification and declaring “I will never rest till I don’t have to see your face again”. With AJ’s best efforts to say there are guys in the back who hate her as much as he does, Dixie stated they won’t help him as she owns them too. But one phrase I thought was rather “nifty” again the correct use of the word, is that AJ claims the TNA World Championship has never gotten more respect since he took it away from Dixie Carter.

Everything from Dixie not having a Clue as to running a Wrestling Company throwing every single bit of Negativity TNA has garnished in its entirety back at her. The whole thing is just like a recent “Shoot” AJ has done:

I have my own ideas as to how this is all going to play out. TNA has been criticised for years, and they’ve taken everything thrown at Dixie and made her a heel because of it. That is her accepting to it and taking the heat from it. AJ leaves, Jeff leaves, maybe even Sting, Joe, Storm, you name it. Jarrett sets up a new company, TNA originals (and favourites) jump ship, Dixie continues to bury TNA till they both face each other again. They can blend the lines, it’s a whole re-brand – re-start for TNA I’m sure of it. Everything from the Six-Sided Ring to going back to that style of Wrestling, they can pull in the old audience and a new audience and do something that has never been done before. What else would all of this be?

Either way, Magnus and AJ had a good face off in the ring, and it pleases me to actually say that. I’ve always liked Magnus, and AJ, but neither have been great on the mic, and they both were. They made it feel like a huge match, with huge potential and high risks. So well done!

Eric Young and Joseph Park vs. The Bromans (w/ DJ Zema Ion)

Dixie had a flurry of backstage segments “motivating the staff” like Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa as well as The Bromans, though Robbie E did seem a little unwilling.

Isn’t it great to have EY back on every show, I do wish he went back to his old crazy attire rather than the Wrestling attire, or a new “scientist” attire would be pretty good.

The match was cut short with Gail and Tapa beating down on ODB in the back, this of course led to EY running to her aid and leaving Park at the hands of The Bromans. I am still confused this whole “Abyss is back!” from the Monsters Ball means… he’s not back at all. And in fact, not even been Abyss at all, he did nothing against Bully and got his ass kicked against The Bromans.

I still can’t emphasize just how much I love Zema Ion in his current role, it’s genius and cracks me up every time, I can’t get enough of it. And in the end The Bromans hit the “Bro-Down” on Park and won the match. Then proceeded to take apart the Guard Rail and bring that in the ring to repeat the move, “injuring” Park and taking him out of action for the remainder of the night.

 James Storm hits the ring and calls out Gunner, claiming he’s been a part of some of the best Tag-Teams in TNA and in the Wrestling Business altogether, but one thing tears them apart better than anything else, and that’s the World Championship.

The thing I like about this, is that Storm has reasons to be annoyed, playing the face, whilst Gunner is actually the one in the right but portrayed as the Heel. It’s awesome like the clever idea of turning CM Punk Heel against Jeff Hardy, it was so well done, that the fans literally turned him Heel by doing the same thing he would have done anyway, just Jeff’s star power as a face is what turned the fans.

Storm and Gunner shook hands for “one more match” with the World Championship shot on the line, hanging the Case back up. So I fully expect Storm to stoop to Bobby Roode level of success or “Beer Bottle” to defeat Gunner. Bridging the gap for a potential Beer-Money reunion! Oh Please let that happen!

Samoa Joe vs. Ethan Carter the third

Joe got in Dixie’s face about her treatment of AJ, and her desire to rid him from the company. So in return he got in a match against EC3. EC3 however jumped Joe backstage already wearing him down before the match got underway.

Just like EY and Park before, Spud got involved, which lured Joe out to attack Spud, and also like Zema beforehand, Spud is doing an amazing job.

The distracting led to EC3 hitting Joe in the leg with a Wrench injuring his knee and the match being thrown out.

Joe was then advised by medicals to leave the arena.

After this show, if anyone thinks AJ’s leaving still isn’t a work, they’re crazy.

Kurt Angle vs. Bad Influence – Steel Cage Match

In preparation for next week’s battle against Roode, Angle laid out an open challenge. Which was met by Bobby Roode bringing down fellow EGO team mates Kazarian and Daniels to do battle with Angle.

I don’t get why Steel Cage matches have the pull that they do. If these led to TNA’s viewership this week, then what’s going on with that?

Though the match wasn’t too bad, usual run of the mill Cage Match really, which also led to this funny picture:

my name is kurt angle

Angle pulled off the second rope German Suplex, with Kaz “moon-saulting” down onto Daniels, then getting Angle Slammed and Kurt picks up the Win.

Soon after however, Angle was posing for a Photo Shoot then Al Snow pulled up and shouted Kurt to get into the Car, it’s an emergency and he needs to get him out of here and to an airport. Which is super interesting, Al Snow has just taken Jeff Jarrett’s role backstage, and now it seems he’s in cahoots with Dixie and gets Angle out of the way. More reason not to believe Jarrett isn’t in on all of this thing as well, it makes sense. And clearly is that way already in Storylines.

Bobby Roode vs. Sting – Steel Cage Match

Backstage Sting found both James Storm and Gunner knocked out from Beer Bottle shots, and that is when he decided to get in the face of Dixie also, “what happened to you?” So this is his punishment for doing so.

Bobby Roode on the other hand is aligning himself with Dixie, and this is his way to prove that. So I like the faction that’s building, clearly they can’t run all of the “good guys” out of TNA and make it a pure Heel show, though that would also be pretty neat.

Given that not so long ago Roode got praise from The Rock, it seems he has taken that to heart as he has been working on development the old “Rock Flip”. After taking certain moves Roode is starting to flip and flop around the ring like Rock used to. Is that insightful Wrestling journalism?

Sting locked on the Death-Lock when EC3 and Spud ran to Roode’s aid, EC3 distracted Sting as he climbed up the Cage as Spud threw a “Baton” to Roode, who then used it to beat down The Icon and escape the Cage.

A weird “turn of events” on Impact was Anderson and Bully Ray’s confrontation. Anderson determined to put an end to it went back to the Church that held the “Funeral” for The Aces and Eights. Which is also where he found Bully, sat at the back. Bully did the more “biblical” type of speech thing once more as the weird music played out again. Everything from Anderson taking the Colour’s from him to trying to set Anderson on fire last week.

Bully apparently left Anderson a “present” in the Coffin, which I believe was some type of White Clothing or something, not quite sure. Then “dun dun dunnnn!” Bully had left as Anderson turned back around.

Don’t know what on earth they are trying to do with Bully, but I don’t hate it, and I’m actually rather anxious to see where it all goes.

Speaking of where things go, next week is Genesis, the first Special “PPV” of the Year and it’s packing the following:

Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle – Steel Cage Match – If Angle doesn’t win, he can never be inducted into TNA Hall of Fame

Sting vs. Ethan Carter the third

Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim – Knockouts Championship

Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray

I’m hoping Anderson and Bully might get to Main Event again, though it will probably go to Roode and Angle. Still, it looks interesting and I can’t wait to see how everything plays out, especially in the aftermath of this week’s show.

AJ Styles vs. Magnus – Undisputed TNA: World Heavyweight Champion

While people want to blab on about this is what WWE did with CM Punk, and they’re right. However I think TNA as using that formula and taking it one step further.

To say this was a match, is crazy, it’s an all out battle with chaotic…ness.

Magnus “tweaked” his Knee getting out of the ring, apparently, but unlike the usual match where you know people are going to run in, you have the usual “match” then something big happens where they’re both down, or the ref is taking out, and then someone gets involved. Nope, none of that crap, we know all along Dixie is going to try and screw AJ at every turn, and it’s right off the Bell.

EC3 and Spud hit the ring in no time attacking AJ, which is when Sting comes out to his aid.

Now Sting went crazy again backstage at Dixie after his Match with Roode, but Dixie wanted Sting to know that if she wanted him “taken out” he would be, rather it was a message, and she wants him on her side (Which would be really interesting actually). Instead Sting came out to help AJ.

The Bromans and Zema then hit the ring taking out Sting. AJ managed to mount some offense back but Bad Influence then took out AJ right away.

Magnus jumped in ready for the Count but Earl refused to count the three. Even pushing Spud around as he does. So as Earl leaves, Dixie brings Brian Hebner to the ring.

AJ again fights back, throwing Zema out of the ring right on top of the Camera man, which was pretty awesome actually.

AJ then locked on the Calf Killer to Magnus then Kaz takes out Brian Hebner so no Ref to see Magnus tap.

Sting takes out Bad Influence, AJ hits the Styles Clash on Magnus but no Ref. So Earl Hebner comes running back out to count, Spud does this awesome “pathetic” dive to stop Earl which was hilarious.

Everything was all over the place, and totally fantastic. AJ did this great Dive over the ropes taking nearly everyone out. In the end it was Bobby Roode who pushed AJ off of the Top Rope then hit his Death Valley Cutter thing Three Times on AJ before Magnus went for the Pin.

Dixie dragged down Referee Stiffler I believe, who then counted the Three, leaving Magnus as the Undisputed World Champion, and AJ had no chance whatsoever to win.

So what does all of this mean? I’m pretty sure it means AJ is not done in TNA. If he truly felt the way he did, of course he wouldn’t have gone through with a Match like that. This match screams “STORYLINE” and “ITS NOT OVER!”

It’s just beginning whatever it is, and it was an awesome show. I love random craziness and unpredictable out of control shows. It’s what The Aces and Eights should have been like. I am sure all of this is connected, and I can’t wait to see how this all plays out next week and for the following Weeks. Nor can I wait to see what the “Main Goal” of it all is either, but I’m sure it will all fall into place, and be something rather special.

Till then, we’ve got Genesis next week!

Dan Wilkinson.

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The Jobber Blogger #85 – The Best of TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 2013

Main BannerIt’s that time of year again when everyone rolls out their “Best of 2013”. Last year I believe I did it on Boxing Day, but for 2013 it was stuck in my head from the get-go as to who would be that “Break-out Star” or the best match.

Being the first Calendar Start to Calendar End year that I’ve been covering TNA every single week, I had quite a back-log of Notes to flick-through to find my Favourite Matches and refresh myself on my favourite PPV’s etc.

But something you find pretty quickly is this, If you Remember it, then It Was the Best.

Though saying that, that phrase doesn’t ring-true for everything, there are many matches through-out 2013 that had twists and story developments that you remember just for that fact alone. Same goes with the infamous “Wrestler of the Year”. But I shall get to that as we roll out the chosen Winners.

First I would like to take a Look-Back on 2013, the things TNA tried and failed, the Changes and the Stand-out moments they delivered.

PPVS a year

2013 was the first trial period of cutting down on the PPVs. Something that makes sense to me. Not every PPV is this big spectacle and huge event. So TNA eliminated them, we had Genesis and then nothing till Lockdown in March. As the year rolled on however and the idea of Destination X came about in July, they then brought back their Monthly events as Live Televised Specials.

From doing that, the “PPVs” stood out with being something big, like Slammiversary and Bound for Glory, going into next year just to be Lockdown – Slammiversary – Bound for Glory I believe.

Which means every Month in between they will have their Special Shows but aired Live on Television for free, this format seems to have been drawing bigger Ratings for TNA, so that’s smart. The PPV Buy-Rate has been dropping over the years, and it’s clearly a going-out-of-fashion market. If TNA can capture a Streaming Service or Subscription like the WWE Network, then they could quite easily capitalise on this Audience further.

On the Road

Going on the Road is something Hogan and Bischoff wanted to do since the moment they stepped foot in TNA. And let’s face it, it makes sense. Sure the Impact Zone was cool and they had all their equipment there to produce good lighting and effects. Wrestlers gravitated to TNA because they didn’t need to Travel so much, so that gave them plenty of “Me Time”. But for a Wrestling Business, the same faces in the Crowd every week, and those horrible “Tourists” who clearly walked into the Building thinking it was some kind of “Attraction”. You need to be on the Road.

The best Impact’s from the Impact Zone were always the ones right before the PPV. People would fly down so the Universal Studio would be packed with TNA fans. That’s what you want.

Take your show on the Road and guess what, TNA fans turn up, and different ones. Not only that but different locations expands your awareness, meeting new people, bigger crowds etc. But just from a Television perspective, the Show excels with a good crowd, that’s what Wrestling is based on. And the Impact Zone didn’t have that every week.

Though on the downside is Money, and TNA seemingly have taken quite a hit on that front over the year of 2013.

In the end though, I feel going on the Road was a big deal, and though now they are looking to secure somewhere to carry on how they used to. That’s a big step back in the wrong direction. Wrestling shows need their passionate fan-base, people don’t like it if it’s not Live television because now with the internet, it gets ruined. And let’s face it, the Wrestlers work best when they respond to the crowd, and to get the best crowd, you go out and find them. Not only that, but they pay to come and watch TNA, so hopefully they can figure out a Schedule that works best for them, both in quality and money stability. CutBacks

Going on the Road drank the funds rather low for TNA, now not stupidly low, they have a rather rich foundation. But 2013 saw the release of a lot of Stars, either from Cut-Backs to them just leaving. Doug Williams, Joey Ryan, SoCal Val, Matt Morgan, Devon, RVD, Hulk Hogan, even down to the latest of AJ Styles and Jeff Jarrett TNA founders and originals the list is rather long. Now I fully expect some of these people will be back in TNA at some point. But right now, it seems they are gone. It’s a sweet and sour thing really, people obviously don’t like the idea of certain stars leaving, but let’s be honest, TNA has a Roster far too big for the One-Show a week they run currently anyway. How often do Wrestlers just disappear off of Television for Months and make a “Come-Back” for no reason. Obviously they can only fit in what they book, and what ideas they have in creative going forward.

So really, most of these aren’t a big loss. You can probably make as much arguments for them not being used properly by TNA in the first place, in which case, no big deal really.

I certainly have forgotten most of the people now not with TNA, and Wrestling needs to stay Fresh, you need to mix the old with the new, only hopefully the new are actually good.

But if it saves money and keeps around the guys people want in TNA, then it’s not a bad thing. Every company needs to make cut-backs, and clearly paying guys to sit at home is a bad idea. TNA have been paying their stars to not work for far too long.

The downside to this is that they have brought in new contracts (apparently) which pay their stars per appearance. Now TNA developed this “Live Show” then straight after “Taped Show” deal. Which means the Wrestlers would get paid once for a deal that used to pay them twice. Now with 2013 closing out, and even the first two weeks of 2014, Impact has been Taped 6 weeks in Advance, now theoretically that is one Pay-Packet for 6 weeks worth of work.

I’m fairly sure no-one is badly paid, but it’s certainly a Pay-Cut for stars, and clearly it’s not working out. If the rumours are said to be true, then TNA original AJ Styles never got what he wanted, and the “unhappiness” behind the scenes is what led him to leave TNA.

HOGANBISCHOFF

This all fits in nicely to the departure of Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. It’s just about 4 Years ago when they both officially joined TNA. And it was a good run, but people both fans and Wrestlers alike said from the get-go – Get Rid of Hogan and Bischoff.

It could have been creative differences, it could have been money, but as 2013 ends, it seems clear that both parties have parted ways.

TNA never let Hogan and Bischoff have a huge hand in the Creative side of the Company, though TNA also claimed that they had more sway then they let on. Fact is, Hogan helped build the biggest Professional Wrestling company in the World, he helped put Wrestling on the map for a long-stay Television audience. Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan together built the only Wrestling Company in the history of Wrestling to actually Draw bigger ratings and more money than the WWE. But they also had a hand in it falling apart, albeit it a lesser hand. So clearly they would appear valuable to TNA. The problem is, the only sort of “Creative” ideas that come about are the same ones that put WCW on the map back in the mid 1990’s, and that’s the whole invading Faction.

The Immortal Faction was a good idea, and Jeff’s Heel Turn was well done, but, it did suck, let’s be honest. They were a terrible faction. The Aces and Eights was a great idea, with utterly poor execution and in the end a slightly different twist on the idea, that still did nothing really.

Hogan as the General Manager was a bore, it was the same thing every week. He drew big reactions and his name sold their product. But having him in the ring blabbing about and stumbling over his lines was never a good way to start the show. Bischoff I feel would have been a better on-air talent, but he was never seen again since the closing moments of Immortal. As both have gone away, TNA is actually producing some of the best Weekly Shows and ideas they’ve had in a long time, if not ever.

People like to go on about the “Old Days” of TNA, but their Booking was one of the things I always hated. It seemed Dusty Rhodes would just come out and read from a piece of paper for the next PPV with who will be fighting who for what in what match. Most of the time they continued the same matches to the next PPV. It was sloppy and boring and had no structure.

Hogan and Bischoff had a hand in Re-Imagining TNA and Re-Branding it of sorts, and that’s smart. You want to sell your Wrestling Product to any type of Market / Sponsor you give them the biggest name in Wrestling who is an established Star World-Wide and has been for the last 25+ years in Hulk Hogan, and that’s a good sell.

While it’s sad to lose that, Hogan and Bischoff’s pay-checks will open up more possibilities to the guys that really matter, and that’s the Roster.

aceseights

The Aces and Eights were the focus point for a good period of 2012 and the majority of 2013. The fact they were a “Biker Gang” was pathetic. I encourage anyone to work from their influences, no idea is an original idea. But to just say “hey Sons of Anarchy is cool, let’s do that” is stupid. It doesn’t translate to Wrestling, why the hell are they a Biker gang?

They could just create a Faction as they did and leave Bikes out of it, for 18 Months we never saw one of them Ride a Bike. And the only clips we saw of Bikes, had them sitting on them, or some “masked people” riding them, and there was only about 5 clips of those at most. So what was the point? Next time make a plausible faction.

My main gripe with The Aces and Eights was that it suffered from TNA’s “never-ending failure” of bad execution and poor pathetic pay-off.

They had this invading faction that weren’t necessarily Wrestlers who were all masked, sending threats to Hogan and Dixie, jumping Sting, beating up guys and causing chaos. That’s awesome.

Gradually things started to form, and people knew Bully Ray would end up at the head of the Table eventually. The problem though, is I think they changed their minds. If The Aces and Eights was a faction build by say an Eric Bischoff or Jeff Jarrett to try and regain TNA would have been incredible. And everything seemed to be going on that path, then every so often they would just “change it”. Joseph Park’s big exclusive discovery that got smashed on his Laptop and he hit in the head with a Hammer, that went no-where. When Hogan and Sting got kidnapped it was obviously Eric Bischoff in the role of the mysterious leader.

When it was time for Bully to take over, what was left? A faction of guys no-one gave two craps about and Bully Ray as World Champion. The entire development of The Aces and Eights was to put the World Championship on Bully… and that’s it. It ended at Lockdown. Then the faction was Bully Ray with his idiots who tried to keep him in Power. Hogan did nothing which he clearly could have done, and for some reason they were all on the roster. To the point that a few months later they weren’t even a problem anymore and Hogan didn’t seem to care. Even The Main Event Mafia didn’t seem to care. It had no pay-off. It was awesome appeal, great ideas, but poor execution and a pathetic end.

newstars

Speaking of bringing in New Faces, 2013 has ended with a great handful of them.

EC3 though still not really “over” in my eyes, is a great addition. He suits the role of Dixie’s nephew and so far he has managed to establish himself rather well.

On the other hand you have Lei’D Tapa the Gut Check loser who was brought back, that’s a great move. She’s something different but yet again, poor execution to building her character. I love the idea of not bringing in Power-Houses with your typical “Squash-Match” ideas. But to make her impactful for two weeks then a lackey the next, she’s lost all of her momentum and now I don’t care anymore.

Rockstar Spud, someone I wrote off almost instantly, has quickly become one of the best things on TNA Impact every week. Winning the British Boot-Camp was great, he made his debut and then was only seen once since till the end of the year. So I was more than sure he would be getting cut, but what they’ve done with Spud lately has been great work, not to mention he just Shines in the role.

To me though, the best showing of New-Comers has to be Norv Fernam and Dewey Barnes, don’t get me wrong, I don’t really care if they stick around or not. But I do like them. The thing I like the most is that normally when you have a new “Power House” debut you get some local talent who gets his ass kicked in the squash match. Now this is what Norv and Dewey were, till they became regulars. Now to debut these guys against a talent like EC3 actually brings in 3 new stars, establishes them and puts them over all in the same move. It’s clever.

dixieheel

To close out the most important things TNA has done in 2013 though, it has to be Dixie Carter’s Heel Turn.

I think it surprised people, they didn’t expect her to Turn, of all people. Not to mention just how well she fits the role. The thing with Wrestling Management is that it always works best with Heels in Charge. Dixie is the perfect person to gain Heat and draw that rebelliousness out of the Baby Faces. It also creates good Heel Turns in other stars to align themselves with Power.

The problem however lay in the fact that it’s sort of becoming yet another Faction thing. You will have Dixie’s TNA and they who oppose her, most likely the “TNA Originals”.

Either way it has been exciting TV since Dixie turned, her contrast with AJ Styles was great, and more recently Jeff Hardy. The one thing I enjoyed the most was Mr. Andersons brief run-in with the “law” though it ended a week later, it would have been a great contrast also.

It was a smart move Turning Dixie Heel and putting her front and centre each week, and it’s one that has quickly paid off in establishing new talent also. So I for one look forward to see where that all goes in 2014.

Well that was certainly a Long Introduction but now it’s time to get to the Matter at hand and start dishing out the Awards! And yes, the Awards are simply just a Banner I made, but I’m sure they will never see them and if they did, they would be proud!

newcomer nom

I think I pretty much covered the ground with my “New Stars” section above. But 2013 didn’t really see many “New Faces” more like November – December did. Gut-Check was a great new idea put into place last year, though most of the people they gained through that have since been “Released”. So in practice, it was a bad idea. However, TNA have managed to bring in some great new faces this year, and certainly some who I think actually fit into TNA and have the ability to stay around for the long haul.

I put it down to Ethan Carter the Third – Lei’D Tapa and Rockstar Spud because really… who else is there?

Best Newcomer - ROCKSTAR SPUD

But clearly, it has to be Spud who takes the win. EC3 is a great new addition too, but I don’t feel he has found his “place” yet. He’s the typical “new guy” and they’ve not done anything new with him. Nor has he actually had a proper match to see what his in-ring work is like

Lei’D Tapa is a great addition to the Knockouts, but her appeal has quickly been halted by making her Gail’s lackey. I feel they have missed a beat with Tapa, I think there is great potential to re-build it, but not till she is done with Gail. In the long run, it might be best to establish her name whilst being associated with Gail. But time will tell.

Rock Star Spud on the other hand, his gimmick and charisma was fine, but bringing him back as Dixie’s Chief of Staff was the perfect move. He has a great look, his size fits perfectly for people wanting to push him around and dislike him. His attitude and dare I say it “being British” is probably enough to encourage more people to dislike him and want to beat him up and the fact that Dixie won’t be getting thrown around means Spud can take the brunt of her decisions for her.

Spud has been the highlight of the last few shows with a great Backstage Segment with Sting to organising the Thanks Giving Meal (the British way) and Driving to Gainesville Georgia to find AJ Styles. They have been segments I have missed from Wrestling in a long time, and he plays the part perfectly. Mix that with the fact that he can actually Wrestle rather well, I think he will become a Character who you rarely see in the Ring, but will actually surprise those who don’t see him as a Wrestler.

All in all, for his additions to TNA in such a short amount of time, there is no doubt that Spud is the best Newcomer to TNA, and the one to look forward to in 2014.

return nom

Wrestling Fans love a Good “Return”. Whether it’s unexpected or not, people love to see old stars coming back from injuries or storylines. It’s one of the staples of the business and probably the biggest “Pop / Buzz / Ratings” when done correctly.

A few people have “Returned” this year, I mean Sting returns at least 3 times a year. But the most notable ones were Mr. Andersons come back after being beaten down by Bully Ray, Chris Sabin’s triumphant return after 2 years of gruelling rehab and AJ Styles’ long awaited return from his own hiatus.

Best Return - AJ STYLES

I feel sort of Bad for it not going to Sabin. Sort of bad being I don’t feel bad, but in reality he had the truest of Come-Back.

Sabin blew out his knees with the same injury, the second being on his first Return to the ring, so no doubt he had a lot to prove and probably the biggest gut wrenching effort to get out there and carry on. Sabin’s return also saw him Rise to the top with a short World Championship run. So it was a good return on all fronts.

Mr. Anderson on the other hand easily had the weakest, he was written off of TV because his Contract was up, but then came back a couple of Months later. I’m sure this thing has happened in Wrestling for years and years, but with the Internet people know what’s going on behind the scenes a little better. Still, Andersons departure was because he stepped up to fight Bully Ray and paid the price. He still paid the price on his return but he managed to bring down Bully Ray and eventually put an end to The Aces and Eights 18 Months later. So his return was good, but this story is still going into 2014, and I feel we haven’t got to the best part yet.

AJ Styles however for many won the Best Return. AJ’s story has been years in the making, the whole breakdown of Fortune and more battles with Christopher Daniels was the start of this story. The Dixie Carter romance, the infamous Claire Lynch debacle. All of it was to build to AJ’s growing depression and problems with TNA. He would eventually lose the chance to Wrestle for the World Championship for an entire year and losing to Daniels cleanly at the hands of his own Finishing Move is what drove him away. AJ was then “spotted” out and about with this whole Aces and Eights recruiting thing going on, but when AJ came back, he was different. Longer hair, rough looking, new attitude, something completely different to what people know. He was sick of TNA, sick of being the good guy. His return match at Slammiversary against Kurt Angle was great, the second “Evil Ways” played out over the PA was when you knew what AJ had become was something Special. That entrance alone set the stage for the Main Event at Bound for Glory, the clashing of personalities and attitudes both different and similar already set the tone for an inevitable match against Bully Ray. Though AJ fought his way through the Bound for Glory Series, defeated Bully Ray for the World Championship then left TNA because of Dixie Carter all set the stage for the direction of the Company.

Though no-one really knows what is happening with TNA right now, it’s safe to say this AJ Styles storyline and “real life issues” has been the biggest news . rumours in Wrestling for the closing months of 2013, so therefore AJ’s Return was both a huge surprise and a lasting effect.

ppv nom

Obviously it would be a short category if you only chose from the Four actual Pay-Per-Views this year. I simply chose to look at PPV’s as Specials, because that’s how I imagine most Wrestling fans view them.

But seeing that there are now only Four should mean that those four which you paid for, should be the best right?

It wasn’t super easy to narrow down the categories, but I did to what I feel were the best. Lockdown didn’t make the cut because it just wasn’t as good, the Main Event is a huge part in the History of TNA going forward, but the rest of the show was a little sub-par I found. Kurt vs. Wes? Lethal Lockdown? Not even every match was in a Cage which was what the whole selling point of Lockdown originally was.

So in the end it came down to the two you would expect, Slammiversary and Bound for Glory, with a third entry from Turning Point.

PPV of the year - Turning Point

Whilst I’m sure some people might be surprised by what I class as the best Show this year, but try and think what stood out to you the most from Slammiversary and Bound for Glory. It would be the main events… and that’s about it.

Slammiversary sticks in my mind because of Bully vs. Sting, which did make my list of Match of the Year potentials, but that sticks in my mind because it was an emotional match. The same can be said for AJ vs. Bully from BFG, it was a big match, but it’s a Story driven one.BFG wasn’t a “disappointment” per-se, but given it’s supposed to be the biggest show of the year… it didn’t match any type of Hype.

Now the Reason I went with Turning Point is because when I watched Turning Point, and even in my Write-Up I called it the “One to Beat”.

Now this goes into why I love TNA the way I do. It reminds me of the Wrestling I used to love, and when Turning Point kicked off, it did so with a Bang. Bobby Roode jumps James Storm in a Bar, it was an awesome bar-room brawl that hasn’t been seen in ages. I love, love, love backstage segments. And I especially love them when they’re not just the normal “in the back of the Arena” ones. So this was a great impactful way to kick off the show.

Samoa Joe and Magnus, though their match wasn’t great, it started amazingly. Joe pops up on the Titantron and challenged Magnus to the back, and they went at it from the back to the Ring. I love that. It’s exciting, it’s different, unexpected.

James Storm and Bobby Roode’s “Florida Death-match” again, the Match didn’t do much in the way of excitement, but the brawl was great. I loved the spontaneousness of it, I loved what the match was and how it ended.

And of course Andersons struggle to end The Aces and Eights was a true “Turning Point” for TNA going forward. It was a great Main-Event that wasn’t linked to the World Championship.

From Start to Finish Turning Point reminded me of Watching Backlash in 2000, it was Raw, it was Hardcore without being over the top and it was exciting, impromptu, unexpected and actually lived up to its name for setting the Stage for the future of TNA going forward.

knockout nom

The problem with Knockout of the Year is that there really isn’t many. Mickie James makes this list because he heel turn and Championship run in 2013 was great, but she then left, but left after her part played was very meaningful.

ODB has had a great year, since coming back to TNA and hooking up with EY, ODB has never been too far from the Screen, not to mention the Crowd love her.

The worst part is however that Taryn Terrell was on fire, she was poised to be the next big Knockout. She was doing things no-one else has done before and was on the verge of a big push before she left due to her Pregnancy. I’m sure she will be back, but she wasn’t around enough for her to become what she is capable of.

Lei’D Tapa fits in this, but again, not done much, and now thankfully Madison Rayne is back full force. I honestly hope that 2014 is a great year  for the Knockouts, because they struggle to keep it fresh. Which is why, the Knockout of the Year has to be:

Knockout of the year - Gail Kim

Gail Kim is known worldwide as one of if not the best Female Professional Wrestler on the planet. So how can you argue with that? She’s stayed at the top of the Division even when she wasn’t Champion for a brief period.

2013 closed out with her trying to find more competition, and sure this acts as a nice way to bring back Madison, but in reality, it’s true.

There really isn’t anyone left in TNA who is on Gail’s level, and that’s why she is the Knockout of the Year.

tagteam nom

TNA’s Tag-Team Division suffers from the same fate of the Knockouts.

They don’t really have anyone. The Bromans are the first “Team” to be made in TNA in quite some time. Sure Storm and Gunner had a quick run and it was a pretty decent run, but for the first few Months after they won the belts, they weren’t even on Television. And their run acts purely as a way to develop a Storyline, so they’re not even a Team.

Same can be said for Aries and Roode, who as a Team were fantastic, but it was so short lived there’s very little point mentioning it.

The Bromans have been fantastic of late, since Jessie debuted it was obvious he should be with Robbie E and for whatever reason it took them a long time to put them both together. They finally did and at Bound for Glory they really stepped up having one of the best Tag-Team matches of the Year against Storm and Gunner and actually Winning the Tag-Team Championships. It was a rite of passage because till then Robbie E and Jessie have always been the “losers” so for them to actually come across impressive probably seemed out of Character, but they are extremely capable. They might even have swayed my hand if they had been paired with Zema Ion longer. Ion’s addition to The Bromans is the proverbial Peanut Butter and Jelly. Not only does he suit the Broman role brilliantly, but making him a DJ at the foot of the Ring announcing them to the Ring and playing noises over their Matches, it’s a thing of beauty. And something totally new, so they are easily THE Team to watch out for in 2014.

But of course that means the TNA Tag-Team of the Year – 2013 is –

Tag-Team of the year - Bad Influence

How could it not be Bad Influence? They’ve been the best Team in TNA for over 2 years now, that just shows how little TNA actually push Tag-Teams.

But even with a Division full of Teams, Bad Influence would take a lot of effort to dethrone, Daniels and Kazarian together with their own input and creative ideas are unstoppable.

I think their Joseph Park stuff of late has been a little too brutal for them, but their messing around and ideas are a thing of genius. Their EGO Hall of Fame is one of the best Wrestling Segments in a long time, they work flawlessly together and they have branded themselves outside of TNA so well.

The very idea that anyone can match their talent, yet alone be better than it, is just ridiculous. Of course I love Tag-Team Wrestling and I miss Tag-Teams, I loved the Beer Money, Generation Me, Motorcity era of TNA, we need more Teams. So in 2014, that’s something I hope to have.

match nom

This was the Category I struggled on the Most. The rest sort of Answered themselves, or you knew instantly beforehand.

But Match of the Year was a tough one.

I went through Every Match this year and pulled all the ones I thought to be something Special. This resulted in a Collection of 19 Matches which started a whole process of Elimination.

Watching and Re-Watching to find “The One”.

Now I don’t want a Match of the Year to be something grounded by Story Telling. Clearly you can have a Great Match and it can move a Story forward as well as, like Bully vs. Jeff from Lockdown as an example. But when I know I’ve watched a good match is when you “feel” it. It takes you by surprise, it draws you in, it makes you excited, it actually throws you off who is going to win.

That’s the beauty of Wrestling that nothing else on this planet can deliver. It really is the strangest mix of media, but when it’s done right, it’s perfect. That’s what I wanted.

Those 19 Matches then came down to 9 Matches that moved forward. Those 9 then turned into 7 and bit by bit I pulled it down to Three, and it was no easy task. Two of the Matches stuck in my head from the first time I watched them, and one of them was something I had to Re-Watch to get the beauty from. In the end it came down to Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries from Destination X 2013 – Austin Aries vs. Sting from Impact 14/3/13 and Manik vs. Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries from Impact 4/7/13

AriesvsSting

Even when I was rolling out the “Nominees” Banners I still hadn’t decided which Match to go with. But in the end, I went with what I always wanted to be The Match of the Year.

Bobby Roode and Austin Aries have been tearing it up for over a Year now, and they’ve gotten pretty good at working together with it. Either as a Team (Dirty Heels) or against each other. It’s no secret I love Austin Aries’ work, he’s truly the best in TNA, hands down. Any match he is in, you’re in for a treat. Which is why last year when Aries actually faced Roode for the World Championship, I actually didn’t care for that match so much. I got why it was great. But Aries and Bully and Aries and Joe stood out to me far greater than Aries and Roode.

So fast forward a Year and Aries and Roode go at it again at Destination-X and its Perfection. It’s hard hitting, fast-paced and point for point perfect. Not to mention Aries’ suicide Dive through the Ropes which took Roode onto the Steel Steps was something I’ve never seen before.

Manik vs. Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries was the one that stuck in my head since I first Watched it. Sure Manik was taken out leaving Aries and Sabin to work it alone, and that created a great match. In the midst of Aries dressing up as Manik to win back the X-Division Championship, and Sabin’s quest for the Main Event at Destination-X it was a mix up of goals. But Manik impressed from the get-go as always, a true great addition to TNA, which is weird because he’s a Newcomer and also not. But Sabin and Aries fought it out beautifully, counters and kick-outs galore till in the end Sabin’s “All Hail Sabin” from the Top-Rope was enough to finally put away Austin Aries.

But Aries vs. Sting, there’s just something about it. I hate that it doesn’t have a Winner, as The Aces and Eights break it up. But Aries vs. Roode, we’ve seen many times. Aries / Manik / Sabin we’ve seen many times. But Aries vs. Sting has happened Once, and that’s it. Aries has stated since he wants to mix it up again with the Icon, and that is actually my most anticipated match should it ever see the light of day once more.

For me Aries vs. Sting has an awesome crowd, from the Get-Go it’s special. Roode and Aries enter to a great reaction, and Sting who returns to Chicago the home of some of his biggest matches in his Career and the Reaction is amazing. The thing I love most about it is that obviously Sting can still get it done, but he Wrestlers so much differently now. I wouldn’t say people let him off lightly, but he never seems to take much onslaught. Austin Aries has the ability many Wrestlers strive for, Anyone he Wrestlers with, is an amazing Match, Aries can raise the game of anyone, and does so, every time. Sting is no different, Sting is on fire in a way you rarely see, and Aries doesn’t hold back, he goes at Sting full-force like he would with anyone. Mix that with the Amazing Crowd, the fact they’ve never fought before or since, and you have a Match that stands on its own, completely unique, and utterly entertaining.

That’s why Austin Aries vs. Sting is different, exciting, and quite clearly – The Match of the Year.

wrestler of the year nom

I’m sure some people would like to make a play for AJ Styles in this category, but he isn’t in it because he’s not even been on Television for the Majority of 2013. Nor has he had 5Star Matches, he has had great Storyline Matches though.

Bully Ray falls into this Category because he controlled the Spotlight for the majority of 2013, on his rise to the World Championship to the entire Aces and Eights run, Bully commands the structure of the show as it’s best Heel and one of the best performers in the ring from a physical Wrestling standpoint, to a Storytelling wrestling standpoint.

It has been a long time coming for Bully to be a World Champion, and while I actually think he as President of The Aces and Eights isn’t as strong as him just being Bully Ray a Heel, this has easily been the year of Bully Ray.

Jeff Hardy on the other hand is someone I didn’t actually expect to put in this category. Hardy won the fans vote for Wrestler of the Year last year in TNA itself, but he’s popular, so that’s why. Since Jeff has been back, he’s been excellent. Even his mic skills have seen a little improvement on the odd occasion this year. Jeff’s in ring work has been some of the best Matches he’s ever done. Jeff’s normally remembered for being Crazy and not actually for a “Wrestling” point of view. But Jeff actually had 5 possible Match of the Year candidates this year. He always steals the spotlight in the ring and his work has been getting stronger and stronger. For Jeff to be where he is in his Career, it’s truly exceptional for him to continue to excel at this stage. He’s always been a fan-favourite and in 2012 he proved himself, and in 2013 he not cemented his statement but exceeded his potential and value to the industry.

With that being said, it’s quite obvious who takes the Title of the Wrestler of the Year:

Wrestler of the Year - Aries

How could it not be Aries? You want great Wrestling, you look to the best Wrestler there is, and that’s Austin Aries. He has a great character, great mic skills, great storytelling ability and he is the best in the Ring. Period.

Out of those 19 Matches I considered for Match of the Year – Aries was in 9 of them. As my process of elimination grew narrower guess who ended up in every single Match of the Year Nominee – Austin Aries. I believe that is called a “Common Denominator” and Aries is the Common Denominator of Greatness. For the second year in a Row no-one has put on better Matches than Austin Aries. And when AJ and Aries clashed this year, Aries even said it, AJ “Was” the face of TNA for great matches and must see talent, today, that’s Austin Aries.

His ability is exceptional and something truly unique, plenty of people in the business like to brag about how good they are, but no-one is actually as good as Austin Aries, and that’s why he is The Wrestler of the Year.

It has been a Great year for TNA and clearly they have had a lot of problems as always and maybe even more plaguing them today in the early stages of 2014. Whatever happens, their Product has been incredible and their addition to Wrestling History cannot be over-looked.

Here’s hoping they can execute great idea with great pay-offs this year, and that they really pad out and spend time developing their fantastic Divisions – X-Division – Knockouts and Tag-Team especially.

But in the closing segments, just as it was last year, 2013 is the year of Austin Aries.

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

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The Jobber Blogger #77 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 14/11/13

Jobber Blogger Spray

I guess Saturdays are the new Monday.. well, with regards to having time to Write, rather than the horrible feeling of dread when it comes to School, Work or the Dole Office (say hi to AJ for me).

Of course, it probably isn’t a good thing that my Blog brings with it a certain amount of Dread, that should be something I should correct, but time is of the essence, and the best thing about essence is that it carries a Distinct Smell. Sort of like Disinfectant, least only by the fact they share the same opening 3 letters.

I guess I could make a Disinfectant themed Jobber Blogger banner, I shall add it in my Ponder Basket and see what happens after I re-evaluate my “Can’t Be Arsed” Basket’s current dilemma.

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 14/11/13

TNA did a good job of keeping up its current standards. Since Bound for Glory the show has felt much more polished, even if it hasn’t quite gathered the initial excitement from the first show to follow the PPV. It’s certainly much better than having a big ranting issue about things coming just short of expectations.

The Aces and Eights kicked off Impact showing their new “aligned” faction. Part of me feels there were multiple ways this could have gone, BFG itself looked as if The Aces and Eights were going to show up in full effect once more, given Bully’s backstage promo had him talking to “unseen” former members. Then no one came to his aid, and Impact following looked as if Garret and Knux were responsible for getting Anderson out of Jail, and Anderson taking charge as a possible new leader. Then all of that was reversed to undo all of this “internal heat” and just keep Aces and Eights together as a faction.

Either way, I think it is safe to say The Aces and Eights are finished as of next week. Bully accepted Anderson’s match, and Anderson raised the stakes to if he wins The Aces and Eights disband, and if Bully wins, Anderson will leave TNA for good. Through in some nice heartfelt threats like “I would love to Pile-Drive you’re pregnant wife” and you have the opening of the show, with of course some lovely fighting to boot!

Knux vs. Anderson

Anderson didn’t want to wait till next week to get his hands on The Aces and Eights, so an impromptu match was added pitting Anderson against Knux. I think it’s fairly safe to say Anderson will be winning next week, though an unexpected twist or turn would be a lovely addition. Still, Anderson won’t be leaving just yet. I worry that if Anderson does the whole “solo” thing once more, will he go back to just being boring and irrelevant as he was before he joined The Aces and Eights. You need to find that sweet spot with him, and it’s between being Face and Heel, more Heel than Face is where Anderson thrives. He needs the old Stone Cold type backstage segments and great promo’s to keep him afloat.

As for the match at hand, Anderson spent the majority of it getting picked apart by Knux. Still seems like we’ve never really had a chance to see Knux be himself, I personally didn’t care till he stepped up with some great promo’s against Bully, but I would bet after next week we probably won’t see much of him again.

I can’t help but feel there is so much un tapped potential within the Faction, but on average I guess they didn’t hit it big with the audience, and they have probably dragged this all out far too much. The Aces and Eights will always remain as a stupid themed faction with awesome potential, that never ever achieved the heights people thought it would.

Anderson in the last second caught Knux with the Mic Check and won the match.

Also the mic check sucks, I’ve never understood that move, or even the desire for that to be you’re finisher. It looks awkward and messy to set up, and the payoff is minimal. But then Sting managed to make a Reverse DDT a Finishing Move, and that sucks just as much.

Christopher Daniels vs. Joseph Park

It seems a lot of “Story telling” is now going to be told by the Wrestlers themselves in their own time with these “365 – Where Action Never Ends” short videos. A novel idea, but if it pays off or not in the long run is what will be the deciding factor. On a personal level I find my own attention to Social Media to be lacking, it’s a cesspool of cowardly hate, and pathetic attempts to market apologies to anyone who should be remotely offended to the slightest thing.

Still, Park challenged Daniels because he through his Apple-Tini in his face last week. So Daniels in his own little video with Kazarian and later Roode, accepted, in his own hilarious manor of “He looked thirsty, so I gave him a drink, his stamina has always been in question”.

The story of Joseph Park is an odd one, I guess more on this later? But he seems much more capable in the ring, I know he’s been getting better. But straight away he seemed “confident or efficient” where as I only remember him being better, but anxious.

Joseph Park has also probably run his course, and really, when it’s all said and done, he is a great Character and extremely well played, but people want Abyss, and they want this to “go” somewhere. Rather than remain as stagnant as it currently is.

Daniels landed a Low-Blow on Park, and picked up the Win.

Ethan Carter the Third vs. Norv Ferman and Dewey Barnes – 2 on 1 Handicap Match

In what at first seemed like you’re basic run of squash matches, they have cleverly introduced 3 new Wrestlers. Whether or not Norv and Dewey will remain once EC3 has been “developed” remains to be seen. Either way, Norv and Dewey, little by little are getting more over with the audience, so a possible Team is not out of the Question.

What is more exciting though was the plugging of Playstation 4’s Launch Party Event on Spike TV following Impact. So I hope that helped pay off with some ratings. I would love to see Impact and Playstation form a type of Marketing Team. My favourite Games Company meets my Favourite Wrestling Company, it’s perfect!

Also EC3 won.

PS4

 Well thankfully it seems that this “Friends of AJ Styles” thing is actually planted in the show, rather than it just being ran. I am pleased Dixie acknowledges this, because it annoyed me a little last week.

CONTINUED!

Yes, I took the rest of Saturday off, something about a String of early mornings and late nights at work seemed to have defeated me yesterday. I went from feeling rather “with it” to a more tired, rushing type of sense. And all of you don’t read this for rubbish purposes! You read this to be entertained, to laugh, to smile, to hate me and never read it again.

So yeah, Dixie had a big Stink over the Friends of AJ Styles’ video updates, and she is determined to get to the Bottom of it. So much so that we even have a clip of her on Impact’s “Where Action Never Ends” Storming out of a Spike TV meeting, as they stated that AJ has a “share” of TV Time slotted to him. I personally would have used that time to just stand still and fart with a stupid expression, but I guess showing the Title Defence’s makes sense too?

Dixie then headed to the ring to talk about her “Most Brilliant Heavyweight Championship Tournament in Wrestling History”, for the record, it is a great idea! What makes it even better is she goes on to say “last week Jeff Hardy defeated… someone”. So I guess she didn’t watch the show.. or she forgot? But can we blame her? Really, it was Chris Sabin?

Forgetting Sabin

Dixie went on to announce the Match Stipulations between Storm and Roode, Joe and Magnus. Storm and Roode will compete in a “Bull rope Match” which I assume means they are tied together. Always been a rather “silly” idea, but there have been a few which have worked out alright. I have 100% faith in Storm and Roode to tear it down, but whilst on the topic of them both, Storm looked like a Main Event guy again this week. He has a great style, awesome in the ring, and he’s gotten so much better on the mic, it’s just a shame he has been bogged down in meaningless stories of late, so hopefully some higher calibre feuds are in his future.

Joe and Magnus on the other hand will compete in a “Falls Count Anywhere” Match, whether or not these two will go full on with their physicality is unknown, given that they might play the “mutual respect” angle, before Magnus fully turns it up. Either way, Magnus will be winning this one, and I would bet Roode will beat Storm too.

However Samoa Joe wasn’t finished, as he took this time to get on Dixie’s case about her “Bad Business Decisions” and Joe is determined to Win this Tournament and then he will defend the TNA Championship against AJ Styles, wherever in the world, like any honourable champion would. This marks the first time anyone has actually stood up for AJ, so yay Joe? I still think Joe, or Storm, Hardy (because he has too) and maybe even Angle would have dropped out of the Tournament in favour of AJ’s recent quest for change.

Gail Kim (w/Lei’D Tapa) vs. Hannah Blossom

Hot on the heels of Gail’s “open challenge” from last week, TNA Boot-camp star Hannah Blossom makes her first TNA appearance since the London Shows back in February. It’s nice to know she’s still around, and this seems like as good a time as any to Plug a Podcast I did late last year once more! So have it!

Although Hannah actually put up a good showing, it was Gail who obviously took the win, with the help of her Figure Four on the outside around the Ring Post, and then of course “Eat Defeat” for the pinfall.

But perhaps the biggest thing to mention was that I believe the Crowd were Chanting:

Lei'd Tampon

 Joseph Park came back to the ring, stating that he first came to TNA over a Year and a Half ago when he was searching for Abyss. Funny how he never actually found him and then since that point hasn’t bothered trying to find him. All I remember is that “Abyss” warned him that if he gets too close to the fire he will get burnt, and that he should stay away. And he didn’t stay away, and he was fine because of it. I am sure this was supposed to play into the Aces and Eights storyline, but nothing happened, so who knows.

Anywho, he loves the fans and can’t leave, blah blah blah. It seems after all this time, it’s only Bad Influence who have upset him, claiming he will never be as good as his “brother”, and to prove a point to himself, he is at least going to try. So Park challenges Abyss to a match next week.

This is interesting though, it’s like Undertaker vs. Undertaker, or Kane vs. Kane. Only this one is actually slightly more creative, given that he is playing both Characters, and doing so extremely well. They will either get a double to play as Abyss, or something more exciting will happen where he starts to come to terms with he is, his brother.

Austin Aries vs. Kurt Angle – World Title Tournament – Submission Match

Should I find it funny that Angle wore the “Main Event Mafia” T-shirt to the ring after they disbanded last week, maybe he didn’t want to be left on his own? Or maybe he just didn’t get the Memo?

MEMO

Before this match gets underway, it is cut to go backstage, earlier on in the night The Aces and Eights wanted to cheer up Knux for losing, and all decided to go to the Strip Club, then Anderson got Garret who was stood in a corner by himself for some reason. Anderson handcuffed him, and then un-handcuffed him and carried him away. Makes sense…

Everyone knows Kurt Angle is great, but Impressive is the word I use on Austin Aries, I suppose Angle was impressive when he went into “Wrestling Machine” mode rather than being the silly Heel he started out as. But Aries just has “everything” in his arsenal.

Bobby Roode made his way to the Entrance Ramp and sat atop the stage watching the match, causing certain distractions for Kurt. And no, he wasn’t sat there making Arm-Pit trumps… although

Aries and Angle had a good match though, no doubt about it. Not on the same level as Angle and Roode, and not on the same level as Hardy and Sabin had last week. Angle countering Aries’ fast paced Dropkick into an Ankle lock was awesome, Aries’ set up of Dropkick / Brain-Buster and Last Chancery is always impressive. The best chain of moves came with Aries’ attempting a 450 Splash from the top rope, but Angle moved, Aries went to Roll through, but couldn’t with his ankle “injured”, Kurt grabbed him for an Angle Slam, which Aries countered mid move to a front face lock, once again looking for the Last Chancery.

The end came with Angle using the “Cross-Face” Roode’s finishing Submission, to get Aries to Tap-Out.

To finish the Show, Anderson came out straight after with a beaten down Garret Bischoff, Anderson then proceeded to Pile-Drive Bischoff on the entrance ramp, leaving Roode and Angle looking on in shock. Anderson then tore off Garret’s Cut.

Overall Impact was a strong show this week, and with Turning Point coming in fast for next Thursday’s Impact back in Orlando, it’s going to get even better.

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode – Bull rope Match

Samoa Joe vs. Magnus – Falls Count Anywhere

Anderson vs. Bully Ray – No DQ – Club vs. Career

Joseph Park vs. Abyss

Just to name a few, personally, I can’t wait!

Till then.

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

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