Tag Archives: John Cena

Monday Night Raw #1298, April 9, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

SHAME. SHAME. SHAME! RING THE BELL!

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Imagine! I’m supposed to talk about how Ronda Rousey looked sexy in that little kilt she had on, I should talk about when a little kid named Nicholas is a tag team champion and could get the next Warrior award next year, I should talk about how NO ONE apart from Mike Knoxxx knew that Brock Lesnar was gonna hold down the title and could be going for the 434 days…which I support I might add! I should even talk about the Undertaker! Looking like a million bucks and f**ked up John Cena… but when you talk WrestleMania moments… it doesn’t get better than this! Natalya exposing her shaven pu$$y in front of 78,811 fans… GOD DAYUUUUUUM!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1298! RAW AFTER MANIA! Who’s coming from NXT? Who is gonna surprise our @$$£$?

Look at Stephanie’s arm!! AWWWWWWW!!! Now SHUDDUP and sign those cheques!

Hey Ronda girl don’t trust that Stephanie!!! What is she up to?

It’s very similar to when Vincent Kennedy was trying to tell Austin that he needs to adapt and be flexible, and adaptation is a key of life as well as in business! Now fans! Telling Steph to shut the f**k up is advice YOU GUYS should be practicing!

Rousey as Austin: “Can I get 10 seconds to think about it?”

Stephanie as Vince: “By all means!”

Rousey as Austin: ARM BAR AS THE STUNNER!

NIA JAX: NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION RAW WOMEN’S CHAMPION!

nia jax oh my dayz

Wait a second – it’s a handicap match? Mickie James & Alexa must combine their force? Why don’t the fans chant…. OH SNAP THEY CALLED ALEXA AN @$$HOLE! WHOA!

IT’S NO HANDICAP! EMBER MOON IS IN THE BUILDING!!!! YES!!!

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SEXY B!TCH! LOOK AT HER! OWWWWWWWWW!

Even better – she hit Alexa Bliss with the Eclipse super move! BEAUTIFUL! LIFE IS GOOD!

Well what do you know?! Nicholas is over with the crowd! BUT Nicholas has school! So They have given up the titles! I was hoping Nicholas was gonna get some pu$$y with those tag titles!

GRANT BODY-P!

NO WAY JOSE is on the house! Yes its that Adam Rose sh!t all over again… I see people complaining on the internet already… come on man it’s party time!

SETH ROLLINS! NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!!!

I don’t know what all that was about thanks to the stream, but it looks like as the Miztourage was gonna take on Finn Balor & Seth Rollins, JEFF HARDY comes out!!! So hmmmm! They not gonna run with that Brother Nero sh!t????

The fans are still singing that stupid song to Bayley? NOT Mandy Rose??? AH CHUPID SONG!!! Mind you I wouldn’t be too happy if the crowd sand ‘Guess Who Loves You More’ to Naomi… even though I would understand!

Holy smokes Paige has finally dropped the R – Bomb… like Undertaker put back on his gloves and his coat and his hat, but Paige is the one who is forced to put down her pale make up in the middle of the canvas… this is the part where I should say ‘Thank You Paige’… but since I was never a fan… I’ll leave that to you guys.

Now if I was Elias I would be careful what I say on that guitar! One false mention of the don of dons and he’s going to be in a box!!!!

The WWE Universe is down with Walking With Elias though!!! Not me though – I’m hip hop to the core!

You know what Elias – dissing the crowd might not help you!

BUMBACLAAAAAAAAAT! BOBBY LASHLEY!!!! HOLY SMOKES!!! HE’S NOT SHUCKING AND JIVIN’! 

You know what Apollo? retreat to Smackdown! It’s not a good look for you kid!

GUNSHOT! “Our tag team division is full, but I heard TNA is hiring…” I can’t believe Kurt said that!!!! THE FIFTH WALL IS BROKEN!

You don’t suppose Vincent Kennedy has brought…. nah it cannot be possible surely?!!!

Heath Slater & Rhyno – you guys are going in a box – THE AUTHORS OF PAIN ARE HERE! Thanks for being WWE superstars… you will be missed…

Here he is! Mr Marmite! The Big Dog! Come on fans! He didn’t retire The Undertaker! Cut him some slack!

Brock Lesnar has re-signed with the World Wrestling Federation! Oh man! And he’s fighting Double R at the Greatest Royal Rumbles! Come on BROCK! I’m only supporting you because I want you to break the 434!

Oh man! Double R has still gotta deal with this dude! Samoa Joe – who has missed TWO WrestleManias on the trot… that’s f**ked up!

See Samoa Joe is running down Reigns calling him a failure… but Reigns could have countered like – yeah it took 6 F5s to put me down! It only took ONE to put you down! Sorry Double R, you made yourself look like a beeeeeattchhh!

GRANT BODY-P!

Bray Wyatt ‘reincarnated’… now he plays second fiddle to Matt Hardy! WOW! What a b!tch!

So, Kurt says if Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn want a job… they gotta fight for it… such is life!

Er… oh no! Neither individual answered the 10 count! Now both are not on RAW either! Maybe ROH are hiring… or New Japan even… that’s not a bad thing? We love the New Japan!

Kami TNA

Commentators acknowledging the possibility that The Miz could go to Smackdown in the shake up (which happens next week) and restarting the beef with Danny Bryan!

Wasn’t it glorious when Jeff Hardy, Seth Rollins and Finn Balor f**ked up the Miztourage! OHHHH WHAT A FEELING!

 

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Monday Night Raw #1293, March 5, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I hope you die-hard wrestling fans hate me, that’s ok, because I hate you right back!

This is what I don’t understand, you see 30 second squash matches on RAW every other week, hell – Sheamus defeated Danny Bryan in 18 seconds at WrestleMania 28 for crying out loud. And yet, you muthaf***az are complaining on the internet over something that happened at a HOUSE SHOW, which you never witnessed live (unless you were in the building of course) you never PAID FOR IT, and above all else, you UK FANS were SNOWED IN! You weren’t moving anywhere! With that said…

SEAN PRICE - STFU

Oh wait, I do understand… it was in Chicago, the place where they worship some guy who doesn’t give a f**k about them…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1293! What’s this I hear about a 50-man Royal Rumble????? Saudi Arabia be making major moves star!

Greatest Royal Rumble

I got cookies, a cup of soup, and a Jamaica Ginger Cake with custard for later! LET’S DO THIS SH!T KURK!

KURT IS CALLING TRIPLE TEEF OUT! HE’S BACKED OFF HIS JACKET TOO!

Wait a minute – Kurt stripping off clothes and Stephanie comes out here? We know you want Kurt to f**k you one more time!

GRANT BODY-P!

Listen to Stephanie wukkin brain! Know Your Role Kurt! Make matches Kurt! Use your head Kurt!

Ronda Rousey is all smiles! She must have had sex earlier!

GRANT THAT IS ENOUGH!

Hold on – Ronda said her debut match at WrestleMania -she can choose anyone she wanted! Er… Stephanie??

Wait a minute – I thought Triple wasn’t here yet!

Oh no! Turns out Stephanie has a second contract as a WWE Superstar! Same with Triple H! Kurt is doing his job – he’s making the matches!!!

There it is! Triple & Stephanie Vs Kurt & Ronda Rousey at the big BIG WrestleMania! (yes we already knew that because we read the dirt sheets) But the way they dropped it – I was marking the f**k out! Kurt got Triple in the ankle lock, Stephanie tried to teef but Rousey caught her with the Samoan Drop! HOLY SMOKES!

F**k that – I’m ready for the Big BIG WrestleMania! JUST LIKE THAT!

Now Asuka is here! GOD DAYUUUUUM SHE FINE!

Mike Cole promoting Ninja Warrior? PAY MAKOTO NAGANO HIS MONEY!

Makoo Nagano

Oh lawd Nia Jax is killing Asuka! SHE WANTS TO KILL!!!! But Asuka got the Triangle chokehold! She won’t let go! It’s locked in for the longest! Nia tried to fight out but Asuka transitioned into an arm bar!!!! SHE’S GONNA BREAK THE ARM! Nia had to tap out! If I was Asuka – I would run for the hills! Alexa Bliss looks like urine gonna leave her vagina and go down her leg!

GRANT BODY-P!

You gotta be kidding me! The almighty Nia Jax CRYING? What is this?!!!! Where are you Shadfather – console this woman!

Shout out to the cute girl who works at Iceland ‘Natalie’ I think her name is – can’t remember – I did my shopping today, I saw the 3 for £2 offer on the cookies, now normally the cashier is like ‘Do you have an Iceland Card?’ Or ‘would you like a bag?’ Not this chick… I know it’s all about service with a smile but she’s like ‘enjoy your cookies!’ Aaah bless her… if I was single…

GRANT BODY-P!

I honestly thought The Revival would be next in line for the titles and go to big BIG WrestleMania… wow.. you NXT guys are allowed to complain on the internet…

I know John Cena is a free agent… but I think he’s taking the p!$$ coming on RAW to explain his WrestleMania plans… you’re fighting on Smackdown homie!

Yes crowd – boo this man! He doesn’t need to be on RAW!!!!

Ok he suggests I listen…

Uh-oh – he’s out to break Ric Flair’s title reigns… I don’t think Ric Flair cares… you saw him in that 21 Savage video!

John Cena wants that Triple Threat match! He wants to Shatter the dreams of die-hard wrestling fans who want AJ Styles Vs Strong Style!

Talking of Shattered Dreams… I don’t understand why Goldust  is out here! Very random…

John Cena looks as confused as us! So confused that he went down after Goldust boxed him!

Careful John – Goldust might have Victoria Secret underneath that outfit!

GRANT BODY-P!

Why did Goldust even bother… he was so much more entertaining when he had the hots for Rowdy Roddy Piper…

Elias speaks the truth! Music brings us together, not tear us apart!

Elias vs Braun in a Symphony of Destruction match! Well as long as RZA’s 36 Chambers studios are not involved… that goes for 9th Wonder’s Jamla studios…

Congratulations to Hillbilly Jim hitting the Hall of fame… he doesn’t mean a damn thing to me but there you go…

Corey Graves just called Mandy Rose – God’s Greatest Creation… There is no doubt – Mandy Rose is hot…but I believe God created something even greater…

tiffany haddish

Meet Tiffany Haddish guys… star of the film ‘Girl Trip’ – she is sexy as f**k and she is funny as hell. LOOK AT THAT… OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

What’s wrong with you Bayley? Sasha saved your clart! You refuse her hug? Oh well come hug me Sasha god dayuuuuum!!!

Big BIG WrestleMania 34

Elias can play every instrument! If hat is so, why hasn’t Ghostface Killah approached Elias for beats?!!!

Elias tried to get away in the car! But the car wouldn’t move!!!

I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guys I just got an important message on Facebook… it’s the President of The Wu Worldwide DJ Coalition. I gotta take this call…

Holy smokes! Elias is probably DEAD BY NOW! Braun lick him down with the cello, then he dropped the piano on him! OH SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

BRAUN CHISELED YOUR TOMBSTONE! SLEEP WELL!!!!

If you are a gamer, you haven’t lived until you have played Fatal Fury 2… I mean, the last boss fights you in front of a live orchestra… that’s f**ked up!

Now Bray Wyatt just beat Rhyno in roughly 30 seconds… go on – COMPLAIN ON THE INTERNET NOW!!!!

Bray Wyatt just mentioned ‘Final Deletion’!

The Hardy Compound??? WHOA! ULTIMATE DELETION!!! I knew it had to go that route! YES!!!

“GET OUT? Get Out is what Kurt Angle should do with Monday Night Raw…” Miz is outta order for that!

He says Kurt is sucking up to Ronda Rousey… I don’t know about you but I would ‘suck’ up to Ronda Rousey…

GRANT BODY-P!

I like that idea! The Miztourage Vs Seth Rollins & Finn Balor? LET’S GO! I wanna see the Miz get BUSS ARSE AGAIN after talking sh!t!

THERE IT IS! TRIPLE THREAT MATCH! Miz Vs Seth Rollins Vs Finn Balor at the big BIG WrestleMania… see I’m supposed to get excited but again – you guys read the dirt sheets and spoiled everything!

Paul Heyman is here with the WWE Universal Championship in his hands!

Wait a minute – he says Brock Lesnar will soon hold BOTH the Universal Title AND the UFC Heavyweight Title? He can’t do that surely?!

Paul Heyman just called the Universal Title ‘Brock’s B!tch?’ Does that mean Brock is cheating on Sable???

Heyman says Double R cannot shoot from the hip against him or Brock! He’s likely to be right!! But Double R is here anyway!

Told Heyman straight – that next week in Detroit, just like D12… it’s FIGHT MUSIC!!!

STC 2018 logo3

Monday Night Raw #1290, February 12, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

THESE GUYS NEED AN AWARD!!!

We all bought it! We all bought it – HOOK LINE & SINKER!!!! We all bought it! Even our wrestling journalist experts bought it! Every damn one of us were made FOOLS OF!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1290! I hope it doesn’t bore me like last week! GIVE ME SOME JOKE!!! 

WHOA!!!! John Cena haters – don’t hang up your keyboards of mass destruction just yet – dude just said he’s going to big BIG WrestleMania! and if he fails… then he doesn’t have a road to WrestleMania! Y’all better hope and pray Elias wins then eh?

Wait a second – The Miz believes he can win! Hey I’m all for The Miz winning the chamber! Imagine that! Talk about fantasy and reality!!!!!

Yo Miz, from one Mike to another Mike… you DO NOT wanna face Brock! You’re going to be a FATHER…remember??!!! And last time I checked, Brock doesn’t give a sh!t about your kids!

GRANT BODY-P!

I like that idea! Make it happen Kurt! Miz Vs Cena – loser enters the chamber FIRST!!! In which case I’m backing Cena to win so that The Miz goes in first! See how fickle I am? I’m Blade dutty bwoyjust like you fools! Actually no…. to quote Blade… ‘I’M SOMETHING ELSE!!!’

Only ONE MAN has survived the Avalanche AA or the Super AA or whatever that blasted move is called and that’s AJ Styles! No way is The Miz gonna survive surely?

BLAOW!!!! 1, 2 and….. 3! The Miz b!tch @$$ gotta jump in the chamber FIRST! He will SUFFER!!! And John Cena is for the children… look at him signing autographs for the kids with special needs. You wanna hate THAT MAN for that? You’re more retarded than anybody else!

WHOA! I wasn’t even paying attention and Revival win their match against The Balding Club? I was sitting here wishing happy birthday to people on FB and I heard the 1, 2, 3 with Balding clubs shoulders to the mat looking at lights! Hahahahaha B!TCHES!

Yes Alexa I’m impressed with Mickie James too – she’s a mother and a WWE Superstar and she looks great… that is… until I come across THIS WOMAN… no she’s not a wrestler… but she’s a mother of FIVE. After two or three kids your body cannot recover again and you look like one of those guests from Jeremy Kyle but when you look like this… GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!! (Edd don’t even attempt to research this one!!!)

Darci carpenter

Let’s just say she is a distant associate of mine as regards to my Journalistic Hip Hop career…moving on…

Goldberg eat your heart out! Asuka – 240-0!!! NO ONE CAN BEAT HER!!! Even the Undertaker is astonished!!! But let’s be real – you’re NOT gonna see Asuka at WrestleMania for 20+ years are you?

GRANT BODY-P!

THAT IS TRUE! Had Asuka NOT relinquished the NXT Championship, god knows how much longer she would have been champion! 523 days… CM Who? GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE!

“Huge fan of Sonya Deville, she will have a great future here on Monday Night Raw…” 

Got that right Mr Greaves! She could GET IT!!!

Well so much for Sasha Vs Bayley at big BIG WrestleMania – we’re getting it now! (PAUSE)

BAYLEY WINS THE MATCH! Ok here’s the heel turn you know it alls have been waiting for!

SWITCH!!! Nia Jax attacks BOTH OF THEM!!! Ok go ahead, complain on the internet about how WWE dropped the ball again as you do!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

TODAY, I WALK WITH ELIAS!!!!! There is a first time for everything! Why wish for the Doctor of Thuganomics to come back when Elias has got it covered!

“Don’t worry Miz, those songs were not for you, they were written for MARYSE!!!”

Pregnant women don’t do it for me personally but ELIAS WANTS TO PUT IT IN!!!

WAIT – I CHANGED MY MIND!!! I’M WALKING WITH BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!! Have you seen the size of that guitar? He even broke that! And he can sing in tune too!

“Well Elias says he’s gonna win, but we all know that ain’t true,

You look at me boy when I’m singing, because I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!

You may not notice, you may not realise,  when this song is over, you’re gonna GET THESE HANDS!”

PUT THIS ON iTUNES NOW!!!!!

Are you ready for Braun Strowman’s album to drop? If you don’t buy it you’re gonna get these hands!!! I’M DUN!!!!!

HAHAHAHA!!! Strowman lick down Elias with the dutty big guitar! BLAOW!!! That’s it – now throw him off the stage! NO? Oh well!!!

Let me take this time to congratulate Ivory on her Hall Of Fame induction! Yeah I know what you’re thinking… Chyna gets dissed again! Hey – you praise the evil Triple Teef for making NXT/WWE better, but you run him down for this… you can’t have everything!

WHOA!!! Jason Jordan forced to miss big BIG WrestleMania! HOLY SMOKES!!! The question remains – what does this mean for Seth Rollins? I think everything has changed now, JUST LIKE THAT!

Tell em Kurt! The fans should be ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES! Cheering that Jason Jordan won’t be there? What sort of people are you?

Er what? Seth doesn’t want to be apart of Monday Night Raw? Welcome to the A Show Seth! I’ve been waiting for you!

Oh maybe not! He still wants to be Universal Champion! Er… how is this gonna work?

Makes sense! I hope Seth wins the Fatal 5 Way joint! But if he does, what about Finn Balor? Er… oh dear!

Sorry Apollo! Sorry Wyatt, Sorry Matt Hardy… the Chamber needs to be DON! But I gotta say I’m glad Apollo is up in that match…

OH SNAP!!! Seth and Balor did a ‘Undertaker & Kane to Austin’! You don’t get it? Er does this mean anything to you?

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SmackDown Live: #956, December 19, 2017!

Smack Talk Centre-Smackdown

#DEATH2DIRTSHEETS!

#FANSGOTTAGO

#WRESTLINGISSTORYLINE!

Steph Women's Royal Rumble

This is what I’m talking about!!! In fact most of us called this! But just like that, I am hype for the Royal Rumble! If you are still that fan who wants bra and panties matches… TOTAL DIVAS is THAT WAY!! Or better still – Babestation is on 364 days a year! (Not sure if they are on Christmas day…only STC’s Edd Mulhall knows the answer to that…

GRANT BODY-P!

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Smackdown LIVE #956! You know Stephanie won’t go to the A Show… her ego is bigger than her t!tt!£$!

Smackdown A show

Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn are still employed thanks to Danny Bryan! They will continue to run joke!

Enough of that sh!t – Danny Bryan talking about the women’s royal rumble! Oh man imagine the surprises! Trish Stratus has already hinted at returning to the ring for that night!

Uh-Oh! Shane McMahon is here! He’s still hi-fiving the crowd!

Truthfully I don’t want these two to clash! It’s a heartbreak!

Now back to the matter at hand! Shane says his emotions got the better of him in the match at Clash of Champions!

Crowd chanting ‘Thank You Daniel’! Because it would have been a shame to lose such talent as Owens & Zayn, even though they are TEEF!

Shane warns Danny not to f**k with Owens & Zayn too much! He could be rig- WHOA! Danny tells Shane to fire him? He doesn’t want Shane to turn into Mr McMahon!

This is some serious slow building here with the storylines! Yo Danny – I have seen Shane at his worst back in 1999… holy smokes – he was a bastard! I’ll never forget that sh!t!

The Bella Twins got over 1 MILLION subscribers! Ok wrestling fans – OWN UP! You act like you hate them but come on now! You can’t tell me that if they both wanted to suck your little tools you would say no!

GRANT BODY-P!

Uh-Oh!!!! Do The Usos have American Alpha 2.0 on lock???? They are now #1 contenders for the tag titles! But f**k all that – My sexy mistress is coming out! You know she got something to say about the Royal Rumble match!

“Well that package was pretty amazing…” Well The Grant Says – Charlotte – you haven’t seen MY PACKAGE!!!

OH MY GOD!!! SOMETHING’S HAPPENING! YO YO YO!!!

Charlotte just confirmed – winner of the women’s Royal Rumble goes to big BIG WrestleMania! And now my wife is here! This is my desired champion right here! But wait – I don’t want my wife and mistress to tear each other apart!

Naomi just called the Riot Squad CHICKENHEADS!!! And got the crowd chanting! THAT’S MY WIFE RIGHT THERE!! THAT’S NOT PG!

chickenhead

1. a female who likes cock 
2. a female who likes giving head, bobbing up and down like a chicken

Just like the commentators said – Naomi is going HAM on these chickenheads!

You know what – maximum respect goes out to Aiden English – he could have got lost in the shuffle and ultimately future endeavoured – but his opera gimmick has got over with the fans. That could have failed very easily!

WHOA!!! Danny Bryan just said he didn’t save the clart of Owens & Zayn! He did it for the greater good! He even said he would fire them himself if they don’t stop their sh!t!

So RAW is going live on Christmas Day for real! NO WAY!!! In Chicago too? You know the fans – all they want for Christmas is CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM PUNK! But nope – they get GRANT WWDJC2JOHN CENA! The Grant says – there will be NO INFAMOUS INFORMER BLOG NEXT WEEK! I’ll be tucking into that big piece of turkey! And some Mince Pies!

GRANT BODY-P!

“All Mariah Carey wants for Rusev Day is an Aiden English album…!” HAHAHAHAHA Corey Graves got lyrics!

Only The New Day and Rusev Day could take a goofy match and make it entertaining! Remember – if you take wrestling seriously – YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!

“The New Day ruined Rusev Day! The children will never forgive you!” When did Corey Graves become so funny? Jerry Lawler must have been teaching him!

That is a dream team for real! Strong Style, Snake Style, and AJ STYLES!!!

On the other team… THE ULTIMATE TEEF!!! Owens & Zayn, and Jinder Mahal… JINDER MAHAL!

Of course – the team with STYLE! But Zayn eating the pin is not gonna bode well with Jinder Mahal haters!

F**k the haters anyway – TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY! I mean, a women’s Royal Rumble though! I best get to work on that STC Gathering video…

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1264, August 21, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

 

HOLY SMOKES!!! I have watched Brock Lesnar since he broke in 2002… I have never, EVER seen him get f**ked up like that, not even from (in my mind) his most fierce rival – the don of dons – The Undertaker! This, plus Kevin Owens killer line “Where were you? YOU FALL OFF BUILDINGS!” 5 title changes (unlucky Naomi, no shame in losing to Natalya – she is apart of one of the greatest wrestling families ever) Summerslam was wild yo!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1264! ALEXA BLISS LOST HER TITLE! To quote that Simpsons kid – Ha-haaa!

Steph Raw

I’m not sure if I have the energy to get through the three hours… but Kurt says he has a big announcement… superstar shake up maybe as many of you dirt sheet readers keep bangin on about?

Brock kicks off the show! He will be pacing up and down while Paul be like ‘I told you so!’

The crowd be chanting SUPLEX CITY while you muthaf***az on the internet are complaining about Brock’s scheduled dates! WHO IS THE PROBLEM?

Certainly not this guy – BRAUUUUUUUUUUUN!!! This guy, THIS GUY!!! He just f**ked up Brock AGAIN!!! HOLY SMOKES! 2 thunderous powerslams!!! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!

Enzo Amore Vs Big Cass in a Brooklyn Street Fight? Where Ol’ Dirty at?

AH LIE! Big Cass injured??!!!!! Nah gotta be a work surely? Let me see the replay! Holy smokes!!! Maybe he did mash-up his leg!

Er.. how did Emma change the women’s revolution? What did she doooooooo? Oh yeah – teefing out of walmart! Oh yeah that really changed the game!

GRANT BODY-P!

Nia Jax is gonna killllllll Emma! She says #GiveEmmaCPR? Well THE GRANT SAYS #GiveEmmaSomeC-

OH MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Yes Elias – Brooklyn is a Hip Hop borough – no one wants to hear your country music garbage!

Oh snap! While Elias sason & R-Truth was fighting…

 1h1 hour ago

“like the Terminator, I’ll be back”   Asuka suffers collarbone injury at NXT TakeOver  

THE GRANT SAYS: Sounds like someone needs a massage on her collarbone… I’LL HELP…

GRANT BODY-P!

Here we go! John Cena is the surprise! Remember he is a free agent! He can go on any show! Sorry guys – you don’t get Bobby Roode just yet you fools!

UH-OH!!!! DOUBLE R! You don’t suppose they are gonna start this rivalry now?????

I don’t know what the crowd are chanting right now!

Oh I know now – they chanting UN-DER-TAY-KER!

Oh snap – Double R & John Cena were gonna come to blows and then that idiot Miz just had to ruin the runnings!

What the rarse does Bo Dallas have on???? You ain’t a pimp muthaf***a!

So let me get this right so I can understand this – Booing Cena & Reigns affects The Miz? I dunno – he sounds like a b!tch if you ask me!

Samoa Joe has come to join the party! UH-OH! JOE! JOE! JOE! JOE!

Crowd chanting YOU BOTH SUCK! Directed at Cena & Reigns! Oh dear! What did these guys doooooooo?!!!!!

I just remembered to follow that Kayla Braxton chick on the twitter – God dayuuuuuum – I saw her on Summerslams… Vincent Kennedy knows where all the kriss gyal are at!

Kayla Braxtons

DAYYUUUUUM KAYLA!!! You’re making me HIGGHHHHHHH!!! Baby baby baby – BABY!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Jason Jordan wants to test Finn Balor??? This kid is ambitious isn’t he?

I saw some stupidness on WWE’s YouTube earlier, talking about – what name should Rollins & Ambrose call themselves? THEY ARE THE SHIELD YOU DUMMY!

The Shield Vs  The Hardy Boyz? YES PLEASE!

A great contest between the two teams with the new tag champs victorious! The Hardys continue to lose… how long before they finally become ‘broken’?

OFFICIAL – BROCK LESNAR Vs BRAUN STROWMAN – WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION TITLE AT NO MERCY! Grant & Leva

I am so glad Sasha girl is the champion… one guy in the STC pointed out that Alexa Bliss got thighs… ok she got it going on but I don’t think she can hold a candle to the likes of Becky Lynch, Charlotte and especially not Nia Jax when it comes to thighs!

Mike Cole says Finn Balor was the only dude to stand up to Bray Wyatt’s deranged fighting style – er – hello??? Undertaker???? WrestleMania 31?????

Great effort by a guy I am proud to call ‘Double J’! Never that other idiot who owns the Global Farce Wrestling!

Now that Double R & Cena have mastered the art of not giving a f**k of how the crowd feels, they defeated the annoying Miz and the powerful Samoa Joe. Let the complaining on the internet begin I guess!

 

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1206, July 4, 2016

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

THE GRANT SAYS THIS: VOTE JOHN CENA FOR PRIME MINISTER.

I don’t care if some of you jabronies hate him…I don’t care if he’s not even British. JOHN CENA IS DA MAN. I will be cheering for him this week on RAW. One thing he will do where David Cameron, Roy Hodgson, Boris Johnson, Chris Evans and Nigel Farage failed to do: NEVER GIVE UP. THEY GAVE UP! They sold you all down the river! JOHN CENA KICKS OUT OF 2! The only place where Cena cannot rule, is SUPLEX CITY!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news, no news… just remind me to put up a nice picture of that Serena Williams lady…. god damn – GOD DAMN!!!!!

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RAW #1206! There better not be any dutty big spiders interrupting the proceedings this week! They will suffer the same fate as the one last week!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

Everybody on that 4th July vibe! Even the heels! Sheeeeeeeet Kayfabe is dead!!!!

I hate food fights…. such a waste… I think of those starving in Africa and sh!t… sh!t is disgusting….talk about showing love for the troops – it’s all good but use your WWE money and feed the poor muthaf***a!

That’s what this WWE sh!t is all about! Good hearted comedy vibes! No need to be so damn serious all the time! We left the EU for Pete’s sake, the UK is about to go into Anarchy! And there she is in the middle of it all, Lillian Garcia, singing the American national anthem in celebration!

…and here’s me waiting for Rusev to interrupt the proceedings… oh sh!t – it’s not 1998 anymore!

GRANT BODY-P!!!!

That was the best rendition of the anthem I have ever heard Lillian sing… that girl sung with her heart star!

OH SH!T HE CAME OUT FOR REAL!!!! I WAS ONLY JOKING! He wants to rename the day as Rusev Day! He can’t do that surely! His opponent – Titus O’Neill – AGAIN?? He better win this muthaf***a word up… big BIG Independence Day??

Titus’ attire actually looks decent for once, long shorts with Old Glory emblazoned on it, yet I can’t help but feel that it looks like pyjamas!

GRANT BODY-P!

BLOODY USELESS! He lost in front of his family, and he lost in front of America… Titus… I shake my head…and TURN MY BACK!

If Enzo Amore doesn’t win best mic skills of the year for naming every single president in history – Something seriously wrong with the WWE Universe! Yo Enzo – I heard you got a Wu-Tang Tattoo! You have made it in my iron clad respect club, joining Batista!

OWWWWWWWWW! Dana Brooke & Charlotte in their black numbers! Where is my purple…. wait – nah let me draw for my black suit this time!SABU GRANT

Sasha is in all black too! LAWD HAVE MERCY – The lord is my shepherd – he know what I want!

Good lord Sasha told Charlotte about herself!! And dropped a Sean Price punch on Dana AGAIN!

…And I hope Dean Ambrose drops Sean Price punches Miz through school buses! Maryse… I know you are supposed to be sexy but… I don’t know – you just don’t do it for me…

Do you know what I love the most about Dean Ambrose title reign? JBL’s anger! He says kids hide behind chairs and couches when they see him! Well the Grant says – how do you explain Bray Wyatt… or the don of dons – THE UNDERTAKER????? Who has been champion 7 times?????

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Deano is actually on commentary for the Spanish announce table! Never been done before – that’s CREATIVITY!

Seth Rollins continuing to get the fans to boo his promo he cut on the announce table.. he even struggled to compare the fans to Roman Reigns himself! And that didn’t work! So Deano decides to stand on the announce table -and he’s like – Dirty Deeds – BLAOW!!! Shame the table didn’t break…

brock ss opponent

That should be an incentive to make me watch right? Nah f**k it – because ‘Facebook’ will tell you…

GRANT BODY-P!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! VICKIE GUERRERO CAN’T BE THE GM OF RAW/SMACKDOWN???!!

DON’T HASHTAG VICKIE RUNS SMACKDOWN LIVE! That;s like voting to leave the EU! (Oh wait….)

Yo – The Big Show’s TEAM USA rally talk was good… but it isn’t better than when Vince McMahon rallied team WWF against the WCW/ECW Alliance!

Look at Austin standing tall like he’s superman and sh!t! And when he hit Undertaker…. Undertaker gave him one look, and Austin put his head down… oh what? we not in 2001 no more???? We have to fast forward to Golden Truth Vs Vaudevillians? Oh f**k that – I’m going to get… what – the match finish already? I can see the IWC complaining about that one!

YOU HEAR THAT BOYS AND GIRLS! JOHN CENA SAYS NEVER GIVE UP! DON’T BE LIKE OUR WUTLESS SO CALLED POLITICIANS! DON’T BE LIKE ROY HODGSON! DON’T BE LIKE CHRIS EVANS!

BLOODY WIMPS THE LOT OF EM!

OH NO! The Bullet Club claim they gonna get rid of Cena! AJ Styles says his Bullet Club are his insurance policy! He says they will prevent Cena from sending for the shovel!

The Bullet Club say the love beating up John Cena! More than Christmas! More than getting on top of their hot asian wife! WHOA! They renamed July 4 to ‘BEAT UP JOHN CENA DAY’!!!! That’s gonna be trending surely!

beatupjohncena

See what I’m gonna do this week, is play Mortal Kombat XL, listen to some Wu-Tang, have sexy time with my lady, then BEAT UP JOHN CENA!

GRANT BODY-P!

NO!!!! The New Day can’t say that about the Wyatt man dem????? Saying they ‘keep it in the family’????? Xavier is right – I hope New Day take this Wyatt challenge seriously! Otherwise we won’t see UpUpDownDown again!

I hope this match doesn’t show USA go on like they are better than the rest of the world in this massive 16-man elimination match!

16 man tag

Let this sink in people! Wack Swagger, Wack Ryder in the main event, Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn on the same side… well not for long – Owens just had to hit Zayn with the chair… this would be f**ked up if Wack Ryder was to win this sh!t for Team USA… after all, anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation!

After Cesaro turned on his team and uppercut everyone in sight apart from the Big Show, Wack Ryder pins him… oh my god this cannot be happening!

Big Show tagged in – drops the Sean Price punch on Jericho and the chokeslam to Bertie! Only Sheamus left!

Wack Ryder hit the Rough Ryder on Sheamus and picks up the win…. F**K OUTTA HERE! I’m off to Beat Up John Cena… but first, let me leave you with this thing of beauty…

serena2

NEW YORK, NY – DECEMBER 15: Tennis champion Serena Williams attends the 2015 Sports Illustrated Sportsperson Of The Year Ceremony at Pier Sixty at Chelsea Piers on December 15, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Taylor Hill/Getty Images)

 

 

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IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1197, May 2, 2016

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

you’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own!!!!

I stand before you a man with a headache. You know those headache’s you actually enjoy, because you just celebrated history been made. Leicester’s premiership victory was like the Karate Kid fairytale. It was like the Redman & Method Man concert in Birmingham O2 Institute last week. It was like The Undertaker when he hit 21-0 against CM Princess Peach B!tch… (the sweetest streak victory in my opinion!) You know the women of Leicester are getting the most sex this week!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news, Roman Reigns is STILL your World Wrestling Federation Champion! And oh yeah – SHUDDUP!

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RAW #1197! By the way did I mention The Ryback is my favourite wrestler now??? HAHAHAHAHA GRANT BODY-P!

WWF PROPA TINGZStephanie you sexy as f**k but what’s in the bag? You bought the Infamous Informer something? a PS4 with Street Fighter V? You’re too kind!

Oh it’s for Shane… oh snap it’s that picture frame that Vincent Kennedy broke! Sheeeet – hang it up Shane (the picture that is!)

I don’t exactly understand why Kevin Owens wants to re-focus on the Intercontinental Championship… at the same time, I understand that Money Innah Bank soon come.

Where are the Gucci shoes Mr Cesaro??? Aaah sh!t he makes a case about been screwed out the Intercontinental Championship! LET’S DO THIS SH!T! Winner becomes #1 contender!

Don’t start the match yet – let me grab my pizzas from out the oven!

Oh dear – if The Miz & Maryse are gonna be so annoying at ringside, then no wonder Kevin Owens and Cesaro had to uppercut the glasses off Miz’s Money Maker! Sami Zany gets involved, then holds the Intercontinental Title in the air, and the spirit of Danny Bryan is felt in St Louis!

Meanwhile…Stephanie McMahon is seen flirting with Deano… and in the Ambrose Asylum… she says Deano can ask her anything… ANYTHING??? Deano rustling his hands like ‘now you’re talking’! GOD DAYUUUUUM! The first question I’d ask her.. is ‘can I get some pu$$y???’

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh hell naw they gonna team R-Truth with Tyler Battybwoy? I’m surprised Goldust doesn’t fancy him… Oh no he found a tag team partner… what a downgrade… Fandango went from Summer Rae… to an upgrade in Layla (which I might add – got Fandango on my bad side eternally) to Rosa Mendes, to Goldust???? This is the part where I take a long sheeeeet!

You can watch this video while I’m gone…

Yeah I know… random…

Due to Enzo being shut down temporarily, Big Cass becomes a New Day member for the week! That is cool! Now beat down these Vaudevillian fools! (the Dudley Boyz are not fools though…) It is a real shame that the tournament sponsored by Booty-Os got shut down like that.

This match is cool but where’s my favourite wrestler – The Ryback????!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

You know it would have been a mark out moment if Roman Reigns said ‘The question is, can the three of you take on the three of us?’ And instead of the Usos, Rollins and Ambrose appeared… but that can wait!

Oh snap! I wasn’t gonna write about this but Emma defeated Becky Lynch! WHOA! They are really changing sh!t up aren’t they!GRANT BODY PHENOM

HERE WE GO!!!!! This is what I came to see! Nope – not Ric Flair – not the Ryback – but the Ambrose Asylum! Do us proud Deano! Ask Steph the dirtiest questions!!!

Maybe he won’t… I mean… Renee Young though… and she wears a B.I.G. t-shirt…

Hmmm why is Stephanie acting so nice all of a sudden???? And is Deano playing mind games here?

Oh snap! Stephanie can’t cancel the Ambrose Asylum???? And she brought back the Highlight reel? But Steph – Jericho cusses you on a regular basis! Er… I don’t understand this!

FOR REAL! Titus O’Neill is back! He won’t touch Vincent Kennedy again! And there’s no League of Nations! and Baron Corbin enters the arena! There’s my champion! It would have been Titus but…

Battle Royal US title jump off! Winner fights Kalisto!

Hold up – Apollo Crews is in there! Er… I change my pick!

Wait a minute – Corbin is eliminated by Ziggler, and Apollo Crews eliminated by Sheamus… that makes things interesting!

Oh dear! Zack Ryder getting stamped out by the… can I call em League of Nations??? I could for about 20 seconds!

Ryder & Rusev – last guys in the battle royal! COME ON RUSEV! Don’t let this fool win! Rusev has DONE IT! Here comes Lana with her sexy @$$! Get back the title and start the second reign of terror!

Calling it now – Rusev defeats Kalisto… then John Cena comes back on Memorial Day because Lana & Rusev start calling the crowd ‘Stupid Americans!’ Just like that – Cena drops the AA on Rusev again and then the John Cena invitational starts again! Remember I told ya!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO! Turns out that Charles Robinson is apart of the Flair family! Lil’ Naitch! TEEEEEEEEF!!! It all comes together now! There’s something about that leggy Charlotte… ah that’s right – it IS her legs! You know I have a weakness for women with long legs! I gotta a song for you Charlotte and your long legs… it goes a lil something like this… bring your sexy legs here…

She keeps looking at me
So now she gon’ get it
She want it
And by the wonderful moaning
That makes a beautiful night, baby
What a beautiful life, baby!

GRANT BODY-P!

Uh oh – somebody is bex! I don’t think Nattie has come out to ch… or maybe she has… oh no she’s out to cuss Ric! Take it easy Nattie!

Why has Ric Flair took off his jacket???!!!! NO! Nattie put Ric in the sharpshooter! Watch his ticker! Because when the clock goes tick…

I smell an I Quit match between Nattie & Charlotte at the Extreme Rules joint! Don’t you!

Ok – I can ryde to a submission match… but Ric Flair banned from ringside? No Stephanie that’s preposterous! You need to re-think this!

Ok main event jump off! The Roman Empire Vs The Bullet Club! AAHHH SH!T It’s about to go down!

Bullet Club wins the ruckus! But Styles ain’t tryna use the steel chair! But he used it on the Usos! Roman saw it! Oh dear Styles you gonna get f**ked up!

OH SNAP!!! Roman sets Styles up, powerbomb through the table! BLAOW!!!! GOOD LORD! You don’t f**k with Roman’s fam!

Roman haters I put this to you… If you saw somebody beating on your family, would you or would you not snap and beat out that person’s blodclart? If you still boo Roman – YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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COMBAT  SPORT

 

Monday Night Raw #1169, October 19, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

“AIN’T NO STOPPING ONCE THE GUNS GET TO POPPIN, BY THE TIME YOU REACT YOUR BODY’S DROPPIN, BLEEDING, COUGHING, SOMEBODY NEED A COFFIN, AND THAT’S A DAMN SHAME!” (Bishop Lamont, Shoot Em Up, 2015)

I don’t usually promote gun violence in Hip Hop, but this is the tune that explains the situation! Roman Reigns throwing superman punches like a shot-gun – BLAOW! Wyatt dropping that Sister Abigail on muthaf***az – BLAOW! Brock Lesnar throwing those suplexes on the canvas hear the back and neck go BLAOW! The Undertaker, Hit ’em with the Tombstone BLAOW!!!

It’s Hell In A Cell on Sunday people! SOMEBODY NEED A COFFIN! AND THAT’S A DAMN SHAME! RAW #1169! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZI had a bit of a power nap earlier… I might just check that Austin Podcast with BRRROCCK LESSNAR afterwards! Ric Flair, Shawn Mike, Undertaker, all in effect! OH SH!T IT’S GOING DOWN!

THE GLASS SMASH!!! AUSTIN IS HERE!!!!! You know what that means??? Some muthaf***a is gonna get STUNNERED!!! Where’s Vincent Kennedy??? Get out here so you can stunnered! I don’t care if you 70!

If you’re ready for WrestleMania 32, give me a hell yeah!!! Wait a minute, Austin promoting the spectacle! Now he’s introducing the Don of DONS to the stage!! AAAAAH SH!!!!T!!! IT’S. ABOUT. TO. GO. DOWN!!!

Undertaker says ONE SENTENCE….

OH SH!T – The guitar rift!!!! BRROOOCCK LESSSNAR!!!! Ok Undertaker – Hit the pyro on Brock! DO IT!!!

HERE WE GO!!!!! Undertaker got NOTHING TO LOSE!!!! LET’S DO THIS RIGHT NOW!!!

WAIT! Lesnar takes a U-Turn under Heyman’s jurisdiction!!!! FANS! This is NO HEEL/FACE THING! Do not ask such foolishness! It’s BROCK LESNAR! IT’S THE UNDERTAKER! I was looking for the pyro… but alas… I don’t think that sh1t scares Brock anyway! It might scare Heyman though… GOD DAMNIT these two should have been on RAW to do all this kinda sh!t in the weeks leading up!

It’s sing along with John Cena! JOHN CENA SUUUUUUUCCCKS! JOHN CENA SUUUUUUUUCCCCKS! Who’s gonna answer the US Open Challenge? The Symbol of Excellence?

What? 6 man tag? Cena & The Dudleys Vs The New Day! I can ride to this! FEEEEEEL DA POWWWWA!!!!

I’m not feeling The New Day T-Shirt they brought out though… it’s on some cartoony sh!t with some pony on a rainbow sh!t… NO SAH!!! THAT AIN’T RIGHT!

You can look at it on wweshop.com… I’m not displaying it here!!!

NO WAY! NEW DAY ROCKS! They did it again!!!

HANG ON – NO!!!! NOT THE TABLES!!! DON’T DO THIS!!!! BIG E! KOFI! HELP HIM!

NO NO NO NO NO!! – BLAOW!!! XAVIER DEAD NOW! Another table destroyed, our children deprived of another table to do their education…. excuse me… I gotta have a moment…

Crying

Holy god… my girls are on!!! Now Team BAD, you saw what your backstage rivals New Day did, now I want you sexy three to do the same!

F****************K!!!!! Those accursed Bellas! But Wrestling Is storyline, Sasha hasn’t been pinned or submitted, Nikki advances to her match with Charlotte at the cell… That’s ok! I promise not to tweet my displeasure on twitter like some other people do… I’m still #NaoMob ain’t nothing changed!

By the way – Follow me on the tweeter @MZATheInfamous! LADIES! If you look good, I’ll follow you back. Hip Hop artists! I’ll follow you back too. But LADIES! If you are ugly, if rappers send me trap music….or if my EX tries to follow me like she did recently… ME BLOCK YUH!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

True story – my EX found me on twitter and told me she finished with her man who she dissed me for, then she kinda made that assumption about your boy – The Infamous Informer, Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw, being married with children like Al Bundy… I was like nope, not married, but not single either! She unfollowed me from twitter after that…

GRANT BODY – P!

My stream is F**K!NG up – and I am getting agitated with this sh!t – I have no Idea what the f**k HBK and Seth Rollins is talking about, something about people calling themselves the 2.0. of someone great, and I agree – you muthaf***az want people like Seth and Ziggler to be the ‘next HBK’, you wanted CM Princess Peach B!tch to be the ‘next Austin’ you want Wyatt to be the ‘next Undertaker’… F**KOUTTAHERE WITH THAT BULLSH!T! I don’t want no muthaf***a to try to be the Grant Body-P 2.0.??!!! Unless he’s my nephew?!!!

HBK talking sense

Photo meme courtesy of @KingVaughnjr720 & The Wrestling Wrealm

While Seth Rollins fights the Ryback, it’s worth noting that ‘Corporate’ Kane has been suspended after ‘Demon Kane’ came through last week and chokeslammed everybody!

It’s also worth noting that Seth Rollins has now been WWE Champion for over 200 days… shout out to Spotface from Perfect Plex/SoulnSports Radio on Fox Sports 1340am Hopewell – I heard him once say Seth Rollins gonna hold the title by WrestleMania and DEFEND IT SUCCESSFULLY…
Word on the street is The Wyatt man dem got Randall and brukk him up… I bet the International Wrestling Fanbase know what REALLY happened… Dean Ambrose gonna go it alone against them on RAW…

Nice referee outfit Summer Rae…. let’s get a pic of that emblazoned up on here!

Summer Rae refereeLet’s hope Referee Tonya Stevens doesn’t see this… I will get in BIG TROUBLE!!!

Good 6-man contest between Rusev, Barrett & Sheamus Vs Neville, Dolph and Cesaro… skills galore and they not on the Hell In a Cell card… well that’s not for me to complain, that’s for YOU!!! I’ve already got Brock Vs Undertaker… and Seth Vs Kane so I’m GOOD! Hold on – and Roman Vs Wyatt! Me bless!

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

OHHHH NO!!!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!! RIC FLAIR N!&&@!!!!

I am having such a nightmare with this stream – why is it that every time someone like Austin, Undertaker, Ric Flair, someone like that comes on, the stream has to f**k up… now I have no idea what Ric Flair said… next thing I know Roman Reigns is calling the Wyatts PU$$Y, has set two chairs out for him and Wyatt to sit and chat…. probably about what happened on Hollyoaks this week.. YO – Have you been watching that sh!t?? I should be writing a blog on that – Hold up – Eric Rowan is back? Now there’s 4 of these muthaf***az? I can feel the Survivor Series coming!

WTF????? Reigns & Ambrose about to fight the Wyatts, guess who is about to join the fight???? SETH ROLLINS??? LET THE WANK FEST BEGIN!!! THE SHIELD ARE BACK! THE SHIELD ARE BACK! THIS IS AWESOME!

F**KOUTTAHERE!

Charlotte about to fight Brie and make an example out of her… BREAK HER LEGS CHARLOTTE!

Look at that ungrateful brat Paige watching from the back… can’t Team BAD brukk her up or something for no reason??? I really WWE2K16 GRANT BODY -P!can’t stand her!  They lucky I’m not on the creative team! Team BAD would be killing it like New Day, that’s my word!

Hold on – how long Charlotte had the belt now? Was that 28 days??? Great work Charlotte! On day at a time!

I like Brie’s new fighting attire… nice… Brie uses Danny Bryan’s move set, no one says sh!t, but you wanna complain about Charlotte acting like her father, who has her father’s blessing… WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??? Little jabroni – SHUDDUP!!!

GRANT BODY – P!

Paige tells Renée a.k.a. Sally Jesse Raphael that she wants to put this ugliness behind her… NEWSFLASH! How you gonna do that Paige when YOU ARE UGLY??? The first thing you must change is YOU… It’s TRUUUUUUUUE!

GRANT BODY – P!

Sorry Mark Henry – you’re my dude, I understand you’re jobbing for the talent now, but Kevin Owens too good for you rude boy!

Pop-up powerbomb to Mark Henry – BLAOW!!!! Uh-Oh Ryback yuh goose c-

WHAT??? Ryback showing Kevin Owens that I can do a powerbomb too MUTHAF***A!!! BLAOW!!! AAAH SH!T! Just when I thought I had the prediction, WWE changes the scenario!

Well WWE always said… CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE… now we got a John Cena Open Challenge at the PPV, plus the kick off show has changed to a 6 man jump off between the guys we saw earlier… Neville/Ziggler/Cesaro vs Barrett/Sheamus/Rusev…

Is this really gonna jump off? The Shield Vs The Wyatts??!!!! Crowd chanting THIS IS AWESOME! I’m just waiting for Seth to turn against The Shield again… or my hero Kane to appear…

For real? Seth calling shots???? I’ll start this sh!t!!!! Reigns & Ambrose are like – Gwarn then! If yuh bad!

Rollins is actually putting in work!!!! He’s getting in there throwing lefts and rights!

Thanks a lot stream – now I don’t know how Seth disappeared from the match… probably walked out as usual… all I know is, Ambrose use the Kendo stick, got disqualified, and all ruckus broke loose!!!!

I’m kinda disappointed in some of the segments, I felt Undertaker could have dropped some pyro… either that or ruckus… I have no idea what happened with Ric Flair so tweet me on that, HBK could have kicked own Seth Rollins but that was ok, and my hero Kane could have scared Rollins with some fire pyro or something… with that said… SOMEBODY GONNA END UP IN A COFFIN, AND THAT’S A DAMN SHAME!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1167, October 5, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

It’s that time of the month people! and I don’t mean wrestling fans on their period!

GRANT BODY – P!

Not only have we gotta save the tables, but we gotta save the t!tt!£$ as well! Those things are good to us! And we are gonna celebrate t!TT!£$ this week on this week’s blog, because breast cancer is a serious thing. So if you’re a feminist, or a 40-year-old virgin who cums at the sight of nipples, or a battyman in love with CM Princess Peach B!tch, THIS BLOG IS NOT FOR YOU!!!

RAW #1167! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZMike Cole says we are in for a hell of a show… I hope he means no ‘repeat’ matches! Big Show seems to be alright as well, after the beating he took at MSG by BRRROOCCCK LESSSNARR who has kicked off RAW!

Oh no not the WrestleMania XXX nightmare…. I can’t relive that again and again! That’s like Bruce Lee when he had to fight that demon in his life!

Then the Summerslam ‘screwjob’… I mean, I’m Undertaker through and through and I will support him 100%… Heyman says it’s not a prediction, it’s a spoiler, One will walk out of the cell the victor, and the other will not walk out at all.. Oh well Brock… you are a beast… but Undertaker becomes a DEMON in that cell!

Oh what is the Big Slow doing out here? WORD? He’s gonna put his hand out and say Brock is the DON?!!!

What an idiot… Big Show – you are a Big Fool! Another suplex and an F-5 – BLAOW!!!! Now go to your room!

OFFICIAL – Roman Reigns fights Bray Wyatt in the Cell! YES! Finally WWE have got it right. two extremely personal rivalries that has gone too far that they have to send for the cell. That’s how it should be!

LADIES! Roman Reigns is in the ring! 6 man tag team action! Come on girls rub on your t!TT!£$!

467e0753-349a-4b1a-bddb-394b222c5d35That’s what’s up – Be Proud of your t!TT!£$!!! Roman Reigns is sure to win!

YES!!! Because you women rubbed yout t!TT!£$… nipples hard and all… The combined might of Reigns, Ambrose and Orton mash-up the Wyatt bwoy dem!

Don’t tell me Neville is gonna fight Stardust… oh thank goodness it’s Sheamus!

Sheamus talking too much sh!t, bad man move in silence… Neville starts kicking Sheamus all over the ring…and… the match dun already? You know what that was? that was Neville, Sheamus and Barrett (who was at commentary) basically saying ‘Yes sir’ to Mr McMahon’s register just to say they were present…

Oh no!!! It’s my hero! Bi-Polar Kane!!! Look at him! his leg is ‘mash up’!!! Seth is fed up of the mind games!!! The joke is that Seth shows so much hatred against Corporate Kane… and Kane acting like he’s the good Samaritan!

Ooh Stephanie is out here – if anyone supports breast cancer more than anybody, even me, it’s Stephanie! But check it – if the Demon Kane does not defeat Seth Rollins for the title at the PPV, then Corporate Kane is out of a job…. hmmmm…. logic says I support Seth Rollins here! As I was saying… let’s honor Stephanie’s t!TT!£$… even though they are a bit on the false side…

Stephanie tittiesNatalya back on di telly! Her opponent… the UNGRATEFUL BRAT – Paige! Hopefully she will lose again… come on Natalya, show Paige how to do it! You come from the Hart Dungeon – you cannot let this little b!tch win!

Look at Natalya throwing those bows! Come on girl! mash her up!!!

It’s NEVER your house b!tch! Do you pay the rent – NO – Shut the f**k up!

GRANT BODY – P!

THAT’S IT NATALYA! Twist the b!tch up in that submission Razor Ramon used to do!

I swear down I hate when Paige even speaks now… so unattractive… I don’t get it guys – how is this woman so appealing? seriously guys, you got 30 seconds to convince me…WWE2K16 GRANT BODY -P!

Natalya applies the sharpshooter! But Paige made it to the ropes… SH!T!

Natalya got her again!! YES!!! THE B!TCH TAPPED OUT! GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE PAIGE!

The rest of Raw could be wack… Naomi may not appear… I don’t care – NATALYA BEAT PAIGE! Justice is finally restored!

Ever wondered why I didn’t write about the Lucha/Ryback/Kevin Owens match/segment? Because it wasn’t worth talking about…

Damn who p!$$£d Stephanie off? Maybe she found the pic of her ‘t!TT!£$’ exposed on the internet… IT WASN’T ME! I put up a nice picture of her! Even The New Day are confused… they thought she liked em! Maybe she does! I dunno…she mentioned nothing about tables so I suppose she supports the cause… #SaveTheTables

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/save-the-tables

URRRRGHHHH This is tiresome… can’t this be on a segment after RAW live? I mean, It’s all good for Cena to be the spokesperson of this breast cancer sh!t and bigging up the breast cancer survivors… I have an idea, while Cena is doing that, let’s throw up another good ol’ t!TTy picture…

Torrie-Wilson-bikiniAAAH SH!T – they got Roman Reigns being a spokesperson too? THERE YOU GO GUYS! You can hate him now… but he won’t stop now!

For real – we just gonna have this match now? Corporate Kane & Seth Rollins vs The Dudley Boys?

HOLD UP – Someone is tuning into RAW this week…

If you’re going to give money to a company that claims to raise money for finding a cure for cancer, please do someresearch.Komen is a scam

I tend to believe him… but it’s like yo… why is he so concerned?

Anyway back to this – Uh-oh  – the Dudleys sent for the tables…. what must The New Day be thinking???

IT’S KAAAANE!!!! AAAAH SH!T! But the Dudleys stand their ground! They remember what Kane did to them at SmackDown… 3D!!! – BLAOW!!! Kane laid out! So before Seth took foot and run… the fool taunts Kane doesn’t he? Now I’ve watched this wrestling sh!t a long time, and I know that if Kane or Undertaker are laid out on the canvas… you NEVER stand over them… they WILL crab you by your neck from a floored position, then CHOKESLAM – BLAOW!! right through the table!

The New Day must be crying in the car at this time… guys – you may not have saved that table.. but you can save the t!TT!£$… I know you wanna save Team BAD’s t!TT!£$… SO DO I!!! You guys save Tamina and Sasha… but Naomi – she’s ALL MINE!

TEAM BAD 2These three… you don’t want to know what’s going through the mind of the Infamous Informer… GRANT BODY – P!

Imagine if Team BAD defeats the Bellas as well… I’d love to hail RAW as the best ever! But obviously I cannot do that…

WHOA!!!! Now when Brie drops the Danny Bryan kicks, the Boston crowd chant NO! NO! NO!

YES!!!! TEAM BAD show the Bellas how to do it! I can now go to bed happy… but there is still half an hour at best of this sh!t…

A wha de raaaaar??? Summer Rae with a tribute to the Super Athlete Rusev??? Where is this going?

BACKSIDE??!!!! NO! Summer going on her crusty knees? What is she gonna ask him – will you let me suck your c-

GRANT BODY-P!!!!

I guessed wrong! But marriage??? She calls him Ru-Ru! She says he can walk out of WrestleMania 32 as the World Wrestling Federation Champion???? WHOA!!!!

HE SAID YES!!!! BACKSIDE!!! Mr & Mrs Bulgarian Brute???

But not yet???? He says he gotta be the champion FIRST! Good thinking there Rusev! Sounds a reasonable deal to me… because if he wins, he can pay for the wedding! Rusev has his head screwed on!

To take your mind off that storyline… lets celebrate some more t!TT!£$… Lana where you at girl?

The crowd is like “John Cena SUUUUUUCKS!” Oh dear!

Who’s the opponent this week? They making a big deal of it this week, like there’s a surprise lurking…

Dolph Ziggler? Yes the match will be good but quite frankly, I’m not interested…

OH SNAP!!! THE NEW DAY GOT HIM!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

BIG E is gonna take him!!!! COME ON BIG E!!!!!

BIG E is straight dominating this match!!! Byron Saxton is right – underneath all that comedy, all that ‘obnoxious’ behavior, BIG E was a former NXT Champion, Former Intercontinental Champion… so BIG E can do this!

Imagine that – New Day with Tag Team and the US Title? similar to The Shield? Anyhow they win… Team BAD are in trouble… you know The New Day love to mess around with Team BAD… I WOULD!

OH NO! The New Day got caught trying to teef! Damnit…. Cena won, but The New Day continuing the assault, that fool Ziggler comes out – BUT YO – Ziggler super kicks Cena accidentally! It’s becoming obvious from here, considering certain rumors… Ziggler gonna be that dude to defeat Cena… ain’t that a b!tch… Damn The New Day mashed up Cena, Ziggler and the Dudley Boys???!!!! Xavier mashed up the trombone effect! But it doesn’t matter! THEY KILLED IT!!!

Now guys, let’s go out and nurture and caress and appreciate those t!TT!£$! Let’s make Dean Ambrose proud!

GRANT BODY – P!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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NEW STC LOGO 2015

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Monday Night Raw #1160, August 17, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

OHHHHHH SH!!!!!!!!!!!!!T!!!!

I had to watch this again rude boy… Come on WWE… NO WAY can you make this a one on one wrestling contest… I want CHAIRS! TABLES! STEEL STAIRS! SHOVELS! FIGHT IN THE CROWD! FIGHT ‘TO THE DEATH’!!!

BRRRRROCCCCK LESSSSNARRRR! THE UNNNNNNDERTAAAYYYKERRR!!! One does not simply break the streak and lives! #1160! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

wwf logoWe in Brock Lesnar’s hometown! The roof gonna go off in this b!tch!!! Throw the PG rating out the window from NOW!!!

Before we know that Raw is gonna be Off The Hook… it doesn’t hurt to endure a 20 minute segment of Triple H saying absolutely NOTHING-ERRR!!!

As for Stephanie… damn you know Triple is pulling that long hair when he rides it in!!!

How can a match be bigger than WrestleMania??? That doesn’t make any sense???? I understand the hyping part… but f**k it – I’m not complaining!

Contract signing! an F-U into the contract table? A Curb St- er I mean a Pedigree through the contract table??

Hold up – Champion Vs Champion in Nikki Bella Vs Sasha Banks!!! Ok that’s changed everything!

The host of Summerslam is Jon Stewart? Er nah – F**k that – the HOST of Summerslam is none other than me – Infamous Informer, Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw, The Daywalker, Ladies Favourite Man In the Purple Suit – GRANT BODY – P!!!

Hold up – didn’t Seth Rollins have a beef with Jon Stewart???? Er… UH-OH!!!!!! Maybe Stewart should be the special guest referee for the Cena Rollins match???? DO IT WWE!!!!

AAAAH SH!T!!! Even Jonathan Coachman from ESPN will be covering the Summerslams!!!! There’s your dumb dirt sheets for ya… you d!ckheads thought he was coming back huh??? What was that? You were getting the WWE Network if Coach comes back??? You bumblehead fool – GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

Now, Cesaro and Randall team up… that’s cool. Kevin Owens & Sheamus team up… hmm how long will this last?

The fans chanting ‘You Look Stupid…’ Sheamus is like – RESPECT THE HAWK! Yeah muthaf***az! If you can respect the beard… you can respect the Hawk!!! (Oh wait…)

We got fans with representing the ‘Cesaro Section’… You still think he’s missing something Vince????

OHHHHHHHHHH SH!!!!!!T!!! THE DON OF DONS WILL SPEAK!

“When the grym reaper calls your name, there is no apology…

When the grym reaper calls your name, there is no remorse…

…BROCK LESNAR, YOU WILL NEVER REST IN PEACE…”

AAAAH SH!!!T! This Lesnar dude gonna burn in hell!!!!

SAY WHAAAAT???? If Seth Rollins beats John Cena at Summerslams, he will have his own statue in the WWE Headquarters???? ooh I can’t wait to get on the STC Predictions show on BDSIR Network!!!!! Anyone who tells me that Seth Rollins gonna win…. oh boy oh boy!!!!

Gotta love Ambrose handing Wyatt a chair and warning him if he makes one false move… Ambrose gonna f**k him up!!! What’s wrong Wyatt? You miss your rocking chair that Abigail gave you? That’s what you get for f**k!n around with the true DON OF DONS!

YO!!! BIG RESPECT AND BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUT TO THE STC ADMIN – IAN ANTHONY COOPER A.K.A. #MRSELFIE! SALUTE THIS MAN!!! (But not the tattoo on his arm hahahahaa!)

Thankfully the PWL Money In The Bank briefcase is covering that abomination of a tattoo!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

After so many power moves from Luke Harper, one superman punch and a spear later – BLAOW! Reigns wins! Ha – the Roman haters gonna hate that one! Well f**k you!

I so want Tamina to defeat Becky Lynch in this contest… but I know it won’t happen… I’d do the bogle if Tamina won!

Fans chanting Happy Birthday to Paige… yeah well… HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARCUS GARVEY!!!! SALUTE TRUE GREATNESS!

Oh well…. no bogling for me tonight… there is still Nikki Bella Vs Sasha Banks… backing Sasha… but in a strange way… I want Nikki to win… #DoTheKnowledge

Mark Henry you’re my dude but real talk – put the American Flag down! Cena already closed that chapter with Rusev…

How the f**k is Summer Rae gonna call Lana a gold digging whore??? Lana helped Rusev earn that medal – Summer Rae is trying to live off the medal… f**kouttahere!! Just open your legs and let me put it in!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

I love the Bulgarian flag when it pops off with Rusev looking serious on that sh!t!!!! I wished it was done for Summerslams though…

Lana calling out Summer Rae??? We gonna see Lana’s little panties again??? Why have I got this feeling that Ziggler fool is gonna show up!

THERE YOU GO!!! Ziggler! Kicks down Rusev – BLAOW! Lana! kicks down Summer!!! BLAOW!!!

MAKE THE MATCH AT SUMMERSLAMS DAMNIT!!!

I’d rather see a big dude punch thru school buses on a film called Vendetta than a queer-looking dyam arse who thinks he’s a marine! In the meantime I want he who likes to be fed more to shell shock the Miz like he’s Shredder to the Turtles!

OHHHH Ryback wants The Big Show! Your eyes might be bigger than your belly Ryback!!!!

Big Show is like – nah! GO AHEAD AND STAAAAAAARRRRRRRRVE!!!!

Dayuuum is that a marble table???? Ok guys no physicality! gotta be 100 for Summerslams!!!!

Imagine if Rollins did defeat Cena??? I’d chip in and build that statue myself! Hell – I’m sure all the Cena haters would get in there and work hard!

For real? Cena held the WWE Universe hostage for a decade? He’s a disease??? WHOA!!! Rollins injected the serum! Rollins is the cure!!! Cena haters are masturbating right now! YES – the same haters who also said – Rollins is not a good champion! Guess what b!tches! #WhoeverLosesIWIN!

Oh damn Cena put Rollins on blast! Hand picked by Triple… and the fans don’t say sh!t about him! Oh lawwwd… Cena put The Rock on blast before – how many guys can say they have done that?!

AAAAH SH!T Cena said he’s gonna do something that will haunt TRIPLE for the rest of his life! He SAID IT! He will become champion for the 16th time!!!!! Oh lawwwd he’s talking about Ric Flair…. Aaaah sh!t this is not cool!!! Triple was never Ric Flair’s b!tch!!! Why have I got this feeling Ric Flair gonna appear at Summerslam????

Can’t make out if the crowd are chanting NEW…DAY ROCKS or SUCKS!!! How can you NOT like the New Day??? And Kofi’s clap is funny as f**k!

10 matches announced. The card is complete! the question remains – who gonna be the kick off match??? Or is there one??? Well true say we don’t need to worry about a HOF segment or a musical performance which is usually wack…

RECORD SKIP??!!!! Did Wade Barrett just refer to himself and Stardust as the ‘Lords of Darkness’??? and the Don of Dons is in the building????

Beautiful Lady, Go Ladies, Lovely Lady, GO LADIES! Lovely Ladies! GO LADIES!

Ok this is the match I’m looking forward to! Nikki Bella vs Sasha Banks! #WhoeverLosesIWIN! I always win!!!!

AND HERE WE GO!!! Show dem how to do it Sasha!

Sasha killing Nikki right now! And she’s dropping press ups – LIKE A BOSS!!!

Even Nikki is stepping her game up again with her fighting style!

HOLD UP! Sasha got the Bank Statement super move on Nikki! Nikki tapping out! AAAAAH SH!T – do you know what this means? Wait – let me do the knowledge…

It could be a long shot, but at NXT Takeover Brooklyn, it’s Nikki Bella who interferes and costs Sasha the NXT Title, thus Bayley winning. But I don’t think NXT is about that storyline sh!t so, I still see Sasha losing… then next week’s RAW or any RAWS after that or Night of Champions joint, Sasha will LOSE against Nikki for the Divas title… extending her campaign for 300+ days… who will break that reign? CHARLOTTE FLAIR. Remember I told ya!

DAMN LIKE I SAID – THE ROOF HAS BLOWN OFF! CONFETTI ALL OVER THE SHOP!

NO!!!! PAUL HEYMAN HAS A HYMN! HE’S SINGING GLORY GLORY BROCK LESNAR!!! NOW THE BELL HAS TOLLED! YOU DUN IT NOW!

Oh hang on – Mind games… it’s the Undertaker – who is getting booed – but that’s ok – it’s in Lesnar’s home town… It’s all good!

I thought Brock was gonna do all the talking! Oh sh!t – the bell tolled again!

THE DON OF DONS! Ok so he’s getting booed – NO PROBLEM… because Summerslam they in Brooklyn – not Minnesota!

Dolph Vs Rusev! Sheamus Vs Orton! Fatal 4 Way Tag Title Match! Ryback Vs Miz Vs Big Show IC Title! The Shield Vs The Wyatts! Owens Vs Cesaro! Stardust and Barrett Vs Neville & Green Arrow! PCB Vs B.A.D. Vs BellaDashians! John Cena Vs Seth Rollins! BRRRROCCCK LESSSNAAR Vs THE UNNNNNDERTAAAYYYYYKERRRR! They are all…

TRIBES AT WAR!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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