Tag Archives: John Cena

Monday Night Raw #1157, July 27, 2015!!!

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I am him: Infamous Informer, Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw, GRANT BODY -P! I will tell you straight up and down – I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT HULK HOGAN. Only exception is if it’s in relation to this week’s RAW. I’m already sick of the sh!t over the weekend.

But that Terminator WWE2K16 though!!!! First thing on payday I’m taking my backside to GAME and pre-ordering that sh!t! I can’t see what the problem is with you gaming/wrestling nerds, you want special characters in games but you complain? Oh yeah I forgot, I don’t like your kind anyway!

If the crowd chant for Hogan, I won’t hold it against them. But after that, y’all gotta let it burn. RAW #1157: HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZYou watch, I’m in effect live this week and Brock Lesnar & Undertaker are not at RAW. It would be just my luck.

…and how does the show start? With the evil one himself – TRIPLE TEEEF!!! I am the gamerrrr…. I couldn’t control the situationerrrrrrr, I can’t get to the point in 20 minuteserrrrrr!!!

The rumours are true rude boy!!!! Summerslam 4 hours – GOD DAMN!!!! RILEY’S WOLVERHAMPTON – GET READY!!!!

What? More announcements? Ok Dean Ambrose Vs Big Show I can ride to that, Sasha Banks Vs Paige – Show her who the boss is Sasha! And Randy Orton Vs Kevin Owens??? Bellas Vs Charlotte/Becky? Big wrestling matches ah gwarn!

Seth Rollins – don’t expect me to stand up and say you’re the greatest champion of all time, you didn’t fight Undertaker & Brock Lesnar therefore…. you’re ONE OF the greatest pu$$!£$ of all time!

You just insulted John Cena my dude! OH SH!T – Cena paid his dues in the apology tour! He wants #16!!!! I support this! I’m all for upsetting the IWC!!!!

YES MOVEMENT for Cena Vs Rollins for the WWE title? No? Stephanie just trolled us all! God damn you woman! Go and kiss dog!

GRANT BODY-P!

But Cena gotta defend his US Title against Rollins? Looks like the apology tour continues! I can ride to that! Backing Cena all the way! Cena successfully defends… I called it last week – Title for Title at Summerslam – REMEMBER I TOLD YA!

I though Ambrose was on some Eddie Guerrero sh!t – untying Big Show’s laces then taking out his legs! It was purely strategy to recoup…

Remember back in the days? When Big Show used to do the chokeslam and that would be it?

Yo Miz – keep telling yourself you’re the baddest muthaf**a in the WWE – f**k around and the glass will smash! I know somebody who you tell you different!

OHHH SNAP!!!!! Ambrose went for the suicide dive, and landed right into Big Show’s fist – PPPPPPPP! Ambrose ain’t making the ten count f**k that!

And even after all that, Ambrose got to his feet, Big Slow was gonna finish him… Ambrose sidestep – BOOM – right into the barricade!

For real???? Fandango is still alive???? Oh well he ain’t now… Neville just settled him with the Red Arrow… What’s Stardust beef with Neville??? Does he fancy him or something??? I think Stardust thinks a Red Arrow is one of those Ice lollies you get from the ice cream man…..

OH MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Paige’s team don’t want none of B.A.D…. sh!t I DO!!! I want all of that Sasha, I want that Tamina roughness, and I want Naomi to drop squats on my c-MZA DAYWALKER 2

SOMEBODY GET HIM OUTTA HERE!!!!

You see this is why Grant is not a Paige fan, she got Charlotte and Becky Lynch wearing ‘This Is My House’ shirts… they don’t have a team name, so it’s still all about Paige… mannn… f**k that b!tch!

LET’S GO SASHA!! Kill her! Destroy her completely!

You will see… in months to come, Paige gonna f**k over Becky and Charlotte… remember I told ya!

Aaaah sh!t why the ref throw out the women at ringside? What is he gay too? If that was me, I’d send for a next referee and I’ll go away with Charlotte, Becky, Naomi & Tamina! Me and them four would have a REAAAL good time!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

YES! MY GIRL SASHA HIT PAIGE WITH THE BANK STATEMENT!!! Whose house is it now b!tch!!! That’s what’s up!

For real Rusev? You gonna get Summer Rae a dutty dawg? Good idea Rusev call the dog – Dolph Ziggler! That’s a great name!

He got Summer Rae a dead fish??? Oh my days – he’s tryna say Lana pu$$y smells??? OUTTA ORDER & BRIGHT!

Pushing the boundaries are we Triple Teef??

OH NO! Lana kick down Summer Rae! and rub her face in the fish! You know what Lana’s tryna say right???

GRANT BODY – P!

Haha I just love when Rusev is cussing! Face it Rusev – you want Summer Rae to dress like Lana on some Action Bronson biting Ghostface style and sh!t – admit it – Summer Rae was just the consolation prize!

What I wanna know is, why are muthaf***az concerned about Axelmania? The Grant says – F**K AXELMANIA! AxelMania is dead, and in its death, long live the DAYWALKER!!! GRANT BODY – P!!!

Ok – a lil mathematics – last week, Los Matadores beat the PTP, I thought that makes them #1 contenders… this week Lucha Dragons beat Los Matadores… both matches had The New Day causing the distraction… is it me or do I smell a Fatal Four Way match at Summerslam? Come on! Throw the Tables, Ladders and the Chairs in there let’s do this!!! (Oh sh!t am I asking too much? I better get my mind out the attitude era!)

For real Wyatt? You just gonna say that the parents don’t love their kids? Well at least he isn’t speaking cryptically…he’s gotta point though, the police don’t protect us… they wanna destroy us because they can and get away with it…

Wyatt gonna digress about some pet… I guess he’s talking about Luke Harper coming back to him… yeah yeah where’s the Shield??? Come down the stairs!!!

I guess the Shield can’t be bothered… lets continue the Divas revolution! See I like Becky & Charlotte, I hope they brukk up the Bellas.. it’s that Paige I’m not a fan of!

…and while they come down the ramp and get ready for their contest against the Bellas, check this exclusive interview that MIKE KNOXXX and GRANT BODY – P interviewed, the beautiful, sexy, don’t take no sh!t, former Tough enough competitor – Gabi Castrovinci! Don’t just look at her and wank off… CLICK THE PIC NUH MAN!!!!

11693889_10206409570616322_7326486061945163969_n247 days??? COME ON NIKKI!!! You can do it girl! If you don’t make it, I won’t be mad though… divas division stepped up!

I got this feeling somewhere down the road Triple gonna give Gabi a tryout anyway… he sees that uniqueness in her… You see? Winning Tough Enough ain’t sh!t!

OH SNAAAP! Becky Lynch use the DISARMOUR super move! Alicia Fox tapped out like a b!tch! Alicia in my bad books too!

Sheamus at ringside while Kevin Owens and Randall fight? Hmmm I think we know who gonna win this one! Unless of course Cesaro finds himself out here!

See Randall ain’t like John… Randall is more of that dark hero sh!t… Randall will f**k you up – Cena won’t!

Sheamus – you do realise I was sitting there waiting for you to interfere in  that match… so what stipulation you and Randall gonna have???

I knew Cesaro would get involved but it didn’t work out too well for him – pop-up powerbomb – BLAOW!!! Try again kid!

Ok main event time! John Cena Vs Seth Rollins! COME ON CENA!!! What – you thought Cena was gonna be in mid-card forever??? YOU DUMB RARSE!!!

Quote of the week – “If you’re a champion your ego should be out of control… look at Floyd Mayweather… he’s out of control… he’s never been beat…” (JAY-BEE) Let’s be real – from time Big Show couldn’t manage Mayweather, my dude Pacquiao couldn’t take him back in May! Yo Mayweather haters… you gotta make it burn!

Oh dear! Seth Rollins hit the Tiger Knee right into Cena’s nose – BLAOW!!! That should have been a Mortal Kombat X-Ray moment! Yeah the crowd would chant ‘This Is Awesome!’ because Cena nose brukk up!!!!

Go on muthaf***a, tell me this wrestling thing is fake…. oh that would be you CM Princess Peach B!tch!! That’s why I lost respect for that fool! And Cena just beat Rollins with a f**ked up nose!!! YES CENA!!! The respect I once had for CM Pnuk… is now handed over to Cena! What you gonna do now Rollins? You gotta defend your title at Summerslam!!! (Why have I got this feeling Rollins gonna get away again??? Either that or Sheamus cashes his cheque against Cena and win???

Quality wrestling contests, no sign of Undertaker & Brock (as I thought,) and no Hogan chants! WOW! maybe there is hope for humanity!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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Monday Night Raw #1156, July 20, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Wrestling Blog logo

FOR REAL??? FOR REAL?????? The Don of DONS???!!!! The last time Undertaker made a crazy return like that was Judgment Day 2000. Crowd went nuts. Now, to those select few who booed that moment because they wanted to see a traditional title match… first off, SHUT THE F**K UP. Second. SHUT THE F**K UP. Third, WRESTLING IS STORYLINE. I would do the knowledge for you now but I won’t get into that – wait until this week’s STC From The UK show on BDSIR NETWORK.

Suddenly Summerslam is gonna be OFF THE HOOK! I am him – Infamous Informer – Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw – The man in The Purple Suit – Grant Body – P!! RAW #1156: HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZFOR REAL VIRGIN MEDIA? You know my boy is on, and you just gonna cut me off like that? Here’s my £53.55 muthaf***a – now go and get yourself some chips with yo’ broke @$$!

SOURCE: WWE.COM / YOUTUBE

OOOOH SH!T!!!!! THE DON OF DONS IS HERE! Talk about breaking the 11th Commandment, Brock Lesnar broke the streak – THE ULTIMATE HOLY GRAIL. Shattered people’s childhoods… to this present day, my fellow Undertaker fans will not let it burn… maybe they have a reason.. because Undertaker gonna use fist and fire to f**k up Brock & Paul Heyman!

I knew Heyman should have shut the f**k up after last year’s WrestleMania… I knew it… I tried to warn him…

It’s only logical right? Ever since the streak brukk… NO ONE CAN BEAT HIM… and since Rollins never pinned Lesnar, since Reigns never became that guy as originally intended, It’s down to ONE MAN to conquer the conqueror… the Don of DONS himself!

MAN OR BEAST: YOU WILL REST IN PEACE!!!

Granted no one asked for this rematch but when you do the knowledge it was YOU THE FANS who wanted certain things, and with that…. Lesnar’s blood is in YOUR HANDS!SAM_3844

We got team B.A.D. (My team…) Team Bella (just supporting the 300 days… we still going y’all!!!) so.. er… what’s your team Paige? Don’t tell me it’s Team Paige??? YO Charlotte, Becky… TALK TO YO GIRL!!!

Haha Brie on that Yes! Kick flex! She might as well have all of Danny’s move set because we won’t be seeing him for a while! At least Danny said he WILL return… Wrestling fans – GET YOUR SH!T RIGHT – DON’T BELIEVE EVERY WEBSITE YOU READ FOOL!

Damn Brie??? Is Sasha that fine that you gotta blow a kiss to her??? I mean I don’t blame you but Danny don’t get down like that…. BUT I DO!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Damn That figure 8 super move will f**k up a b!tch real quick!!!! Congratulations Charlotte… I don’t think Brie can give birth after that!

I GOT IT! That team will be Team IWC B!tches!!! It makes sense! That’s the team the IWC will back in general. They ‘hate’ the Bellas, they could care less about Naomi/Tamina/not so much Sasha… so that’s where the ‘brothers’ come in! We like ALL the women, (Paige not so sure) but we WILL BACK THE BOSS! We WILL BACK THE SNUKA LEGACY! we WILL BACK NAOMI’S @$$ UP!

FOR REAL PTP??? You mean you defeated the New Day at Battleground but cannot best Los Matadores? Do you realise what you’ve done? Los Matadores get a title shot at your @$$£$! And the New Day are laughing and doing the two-step about it!

Good call by WWE to take off the I.C. title match to showcase the divas, and put Big Show Vs The Miz on Raw instead on RAW….

Wait a minute…. no…..NO!!!! That’s 500lbs of steaming monkey crap on the top ropes!!! Miz get outta there! Think about your family!! Maryse!!! cover your eyes! Elbow drop off the top ropes by the Big Show – BLAOW!!!!!! I don’t ever recall Big Show ever doing that…. EVER!!!!!!

Big Show says he’s going to Tough Enough to punch all the contenders (minus the laydeez) through school buses!!! THE GRANT SAYS – Those who got eliminated early are the lucky ones!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh sh!t – Paul Heyman has chosen not to shut the f**k up! And you know what? That is a GOOD THING! Nothing like listening to one of the promo kings of this sh!t! Wait til WWE put together the promo vid for this, or rather, wait til DELBUSTO puts it together!

YOU CAN SELL YOUR SOUL TO THE DEVIL, BUT YOUR @$$ BELONGS TO BROCK LESNAR!!!

Holy sh!t!!!! I think the creative team got it right this time!

Look at Heyman’s face!!! (0:45) Damn that is mean!!!!!

OH SH!T!!!!! What happened to your mean mug Heyman???!!! The Undertaker gonna f**k you up after all that sh!t talking!!

PLEASE! I HAVE CHILDREN!!!

Do you realise Paul I am cracking up at my university right now!!! How does Undertaker keep a straight face???!!!

BECAUSE HE’S THE UNDERTAKER!!

(BROCK’S MUSIC HITS) Wait a minute – Mike Cole – JBL – you supposed to call the action! Not run off! I’m tweeting Vincent Kennedy right now!!! (Or maybe not… I’d do the same thing! ME GARNE!!!)

SH!T! Triple Teef is bringing the security!!! LET THEM FIGHT!!! THIS IS PERSONAL!!!

THE UNDERTAKER! BROCK LESNAR!!! BEATING DOWN THE SECURITY! MUTHAF**K!!!!!

The Security is not enough! Triple Teef! Calling for the locker room!

How the f**k did Brock escape all those stars and get The Undertaker like that!!! Yo this is one of those moments where I want the Undertaker to soar over the ring!!!!

BROCK: I’M GONNA KILL YOU!

UNDERTAKER: YOU GONNA HAVE TO!

…and Virgin Media denied me of watching this???? What was that Nathan Webb? Undertaker should retire??? GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! JR WOULD HAVE BEEN ALL OVER THAT SEGMENT RIGHT THERE!!!

Now back to normality – (if you can call it that…) It’s the Wyatt man dem Vs The Shield Part II…Ladies favourite Roman Reigns Vs Luke Harper… Wyatt ain’t got his rocking chair no more, Ambrose at Ringside. Just shows how wrestling fans love to read – getting angry at WWE doing Brock Vs Roman Reigns as the main event… hahahaah you b!tches! Wyatt is still on that ‘Anyone But Reigns’ deal… so with that said, who is gonna be Seth Rollins opponent at Summerslams???

This wrestling contest has turned into a brawl as well! Come on Triple – get in there – call the Calvary!!!

Er…. John Cena???? UH-OHHHH!!! I like this!!!! I bet the IWC hate it!!! Calling it now – Champion Vs champion – Winner Takes All, which means that Cesaro won’t get pushed… ohh BOO-HOO!!! SHUDDUP!!! Ooooooh who shall I back??? Maybe I should back Cena…. go for the 2nd Ultimate Holy Grail – 16 TIME WORLD CHAMPION!!! Imagine that!!!

#WhoeverLosesIWIN!

Time for more laydeez action! Team IWC b!tches Vs Team B.A.D.! Where’s my purple suit…

The MAN in the PURPLE SUIT!

Come on Team B.A.D. Show them how to do it! The Grant Says, I think they should make Team W.A.M. consisting of Natalya, Layla and…er let me think… Emma maybe? initials stand for W.hat About. Me!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Did Becky just try a RVD Rolling Thunder to tag Paige and it epic failed??? HAHAHAHA! COME ON SASHA!!!

Sasha hits the Back Stabber, goes in to the Bank Statement submission move locked in on Paige! TAP YOU B!TCH!!!! TAP!

YES!!!! That’s my girl!!!! Where’s your revolution now Paige? Ha! Team IWC B!tches!!!

(Note: I got love for Charlotte & Becky Lynch… not sure if I like Becky’s surname….)

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Maybe you gotta hold fire on the main event for Summerslam Grant… you got Kevin Owens, Sheamus and Rusev Vs Cena, Cesaro, and Randall in 6 man tag team action… lets see where this goes…

OH SNAP!!! Owens knocks Sheamus off the apron! Sheamus don’t like that sh!t! He’s like f**k you Owens! I’m taking this briefcase and going to my yard! Ha – kids!!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Owens got no one to tag because Summer Rae suck!n Rusev d!ck!!!

OH MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Oh dear!! Owens don’t like that Rusev was getting hed at ringside and kicks him down! Suddenly the words FINISH HIM! Arise over Rusev’s head… OHHH SH!T!!!

WTF – I didn’t notice that Summer Rae was biting Lana’s clothing! Summer Rae wants to rock the blouse & skirt??? Looks nice but your body is not tight like Lana!!!

Did you perverts get another shot of Lana’s panties??? Damn… I pity you wrestling fans!

…and Lana fixing her blouse & skirt after she fights…. I LOVE IT!

Cena hit the AA/FU on Rusev! Cesaro, picks up Rusev by the legs and swings him around! Catapult into the RKO – BLAOW!!!! RUSEV DEAD NOW!!

Did you like that wrestling fools? Cesaro in the main event is like a British Heatwave – make the most of that sh!t now – it only lasts two days!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

…and Undertaker & Brock are STILL FIGHTING!!! Oh man this has to be some unsanctioned sh!t by WWE for Summerslam! You can’t possibly tell me that they can book them in a normal @$$ singles match??? This is FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!!!

Now Triple H… Don’t do anything stupid like drop a Zero Tolerance clause on this sh!t… mind you it would work for Undertaker… GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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Monday Night Raw #1147, May 18, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

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The Infamous Informer

I wanna give a shout out to STC member Kieran Murray and his Wolfpack crew, see they’ve started some sh!t on the Smack Talk Centre on some faction warfare business… you got the Wolfpack, the Authority, The Alliance, and now the Ministry… I play the track above because everybody wants to know… who’s side is the Infamous Informer on? Ol’Dirty Bastard’s first line in the track is your answer. Meaning… I’m staying out of this foolishness! I am a One Man Army… you know why? Because I gotta entertain my readers every week – those who don’t take wrestling seriously, I gotta entertain my listeners on KicFM, whether it be the STC From The UK show, or the RePPiN4U Hip Hop Show! I have peoples who look up to me…. (WHAT?) I said they look up to me…. (Shout out to Stone Cold Steve Austin…) if you don’t know where I got that line from in WWF, do your googles, do your research!!!

If you want to know more about the madness in Smack Talk Centre,the wildest FB wrestling forum, accept NO imitations, simply hit up your Facebook and go to http://www.facebook.com/groups/smacktalkcentre. REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A WEIRDO!

OK enough of all that sh!t! R-Truth, Ascension, Sheamus, New Day, Wyatt, Cena, Naomi & Tamina, Neville, and Rollins get dem Payback!!! Send for the Chamber!!!! RAW #1147! Hold-Dat – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZSo Triple…. now that you have passed down your pedigree super move to Rollins, are you gonna pass down your 20 minute ‘I Am The Game-errrrrrr’ promos too?

Hi Steph!!! I sure have missed you girl…. Come here let me give you a hug… mind mi cocky!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Well trust them to rub it in how Danny Bryan doesn’t have a TV and all that, chopping wood making a fireplace…

Talk about the Elimination Chamber and Sheamus feels since he put Bryan out the game, he should be the new Intercontinental Champion… Ha… Ryback thinks differently though!!! Has Sheamus and Ryback ever clashed??? I don’t think so – that would be good to see!

Wait a minute – Triple is making it happen! YES TRIPLE! Ryback Vs Sheamus!!! Someone is losing teeth tonight – LET’S GO!

Oh did you just hear that – Ryback & Sheamus will be in the Chamber match! So there’s no qualifying matches and all that sh!t? Well that’s cool with me! Who’s the other 4 muthaf***az? STAY TUNED!

Funny how Ryback hates bullies when about a year or so ago he was on that same sh!t…..

OH SNAP! Sheamus acting like he got something in his eye… ref tryna restrain Ryback… Sheamus playing possum – Brogue Kick in the mouth – BLAOW!!!

OH SNAP!!!!! I know Ambrose did not just KILL that segment! Ambrose said to Ka- er I mean Glenn what I’ve said for weeks ever since he donned those pathetic Sunday schooltrousers… “What would Paul Bearer think? And your BROTHER???? Supposed to be the Devil’s favourite demon….” and took away his champagne!!!! That’s what I’ve said for how long – he committed the most abominable of all sins – he betrayed himself!!! He became one of us! Don’t know where I’m referring to? Do your googles!!!!

I’m sorry Renée Young couldn’t interview me on some ‘Unfiltered’ sh!t…. I’d risk having a good ol’ scrap with Dean Ambrose!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh dear Bo Dallas wants to cause beef with Neville…oh I remember these two clashed in NXT and Neville became the champion… look at Dallas targeting Neville’s injured knee… now look, Barrett’s coming out to compete… I can’t see my dude Neville winning this yo…

Big up Mike Cole for addressing him has ‘Bad News Barrett’…. he ain’t no ‘KING’ to me… F**k that – I address him as Wade B!tch @$$!!!!

Oh sh!t he got the Bullhammer super move on Neville… GOD DAMNIT!!!! BURN DOWN THE PALACE!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Big up Bo Dallas, though… he find himself in a storyline that we can be invested in…

OH SH!T!!! RUSEV BEX! Did he say ‘I Quit’??? Is he gonna run down Lana??? I’m sure there are an army of wrestling fans ready to jump to Lana’s defence! All to get in her little panties!!!

WE WANT LANA!!!! WE WANT LANA!!! – SHUT-TUP!!! Haha I like this!

Wait a minute Rusev – you can’t have a rematch??? You can’t restart the sh!t? The feud is over – this cannot continue – wait a minute Lana is here!!!! I see you wrestling fans cracking your fists like Bruce Lee!!!

…and let’s just throw a pic of Lana here… for no reason!

LANA SMILE

OH SNAP!!! RUSEV SHUT HER DOWN!!!! This could be the greatest day of wrestling fans lives!!!! Even John Cena might get cheered here!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Lana claims he said ‘I Quit’ in Bulgarian!!! Wrestling fans doing their googles! STC lads investing in condoms!!! F**k that, I wanna know how Lana says ‘Oh Yeah, Don’t Stop!’ in Bulgarian!!!

MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!!

So this is what Ambrose gets for bringing up Paul Bearer and The Undertaker… he fights Bray Wyatt… Ambrose ain’t sweating no lantern wielding fool!

What the f**k is that written on the back of Wyatt’s shirt? Follow us – pon di twitter @stc_wwe! or @MZATheInfamous!

Two guys of unorthodox fighting styles…. fans are loving this! Instead of ‘This Is Awesome’… why can’t we have a ‘This Is The Sh!t’ chant going!!!!

Why the f**k did J&J security come and teef? I thought Seth Rollins was like – nah Ambrose, you get to the back of the line… you can’t fight again? What sort of sh!t is that????

Now… Xavier Woods teefed in the match at Payback, so they banned his blodclart from ringside… doesn’t matter… Kofi and Big E got this! They will brukk up Cesaro & Kidd same way!

..and at the Chamber… they gotta defend the titles against FIVE teams??? OH SNAP!!!! Well there’s my theory out the window! The Chamber is gonna be OFF THE HOOK! I’ll be clapping… NEW.. DAY ROCKS!!!

I just love when Big E hits a big move… then he starts the clap!

Hold up, Barrett, Truth, & Rusev entering the Chamber too? WHAAAAT!

As much as I like the tag teams taking part in the Chamber – Primetime Players, LUCHA! LUCHA! LUCHA! New Day, Cesaro & Kidd, Ascension, you mean to tell me Los Jobberdores made the cut instead of Rowan & Harper???? I can hear some muthaf***a screaming out – ‘Who booked this crap’???!

What if I told you it was Teddy Long? Sh!t he should announce it! F**k that – I should tweet him!

Teddy Long  1 foot skank

Look at him! The 1 foot skank!!! Teddy Long is overjoyed!!!!

I just fast forwarded the BLA BLA BLA from Cena…. who’s gonna represent to take the title this week?

KEVIN OWENS???? The NXT Champion??? BACKSIDE!!!!! He could make history! Defeat Cena and wield the NXT & US Title at the NXT joint – UNSTOPPABLE this week!

NXT Unstoppable

Stop the chat – fight!!!! You think Scorpion & Sub-Zero would chat all this sh!t before they kill each other?

What???? Owens refuses the challenge? but he kick down Cena, dropped the powerbomb on his @$$, and stamp pon the US title???? DISRESPECT!!! Owens said – he will fight Cena on his terms??? WHOA! It’s a future war about to build! Cena looking like – WTF just happened? Just when I thought Cena’s war with Rusev was personal….

Did you see the Ziggler Vs Sheamus match on Payback? Then you know what happened with that headbutt.. come on Stardust… BUST HIM OPEN!!!

What? He just lost to Ziggler??? SH!T!!! And he’s in the chamber too?

OH SNAP!!!! Ziggler really does steal girlfriends!!!! Lana just came through and planted one or two on his lips! He’s STILL GAY! If that was me, I would have got all in her tongue, feel on her t!tt!£$, slap her @$$ and wrap her leg around my pelvis, let that skirt ride up! We are talking Lana people, one of the hottest gyal on WWE, and that’s what Ziggler does? BATTYMAN!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Meanwhile Wack Ryder & Fandumbgay are about to get BUSS ARSE by the Wyatt man dem…. I’m not even gonna watch this sh!t! TOILET BREAK!

Stephanie has started to f**k with the Bella Twins again???? Do we wanna see Stephanie Vs Brie/Nikki Part II at Summerslam??? Well I would like to see Stephanie…GRANT THAT'S WHAT I DO

Naomi YOUR TIME COME!!!! You come for your belt! She can’t be booed! because she got SKILLS!!!!

Nikki – GET READY TO LOSE THAT TITLE! You haven’t got Brie to back you again!

GODDAMNIT – disqualification???? And that Milk of Magnesia Paige is screaming – ‘My House’!!!! GOD DAMNIT – I hate that B!ATCH!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

HOLY F**K!!!! Kevin Owens gonna fight John Cena at the Elimination Chamber joint??? And this is FREE to new May subscribers??? Do I have to pull your ears to the laptop and sign up??? Suddenly Payback was just an episode of RAW!

Time to celebrate the Architect of a Dream – Seth Rollins! He’s the future! He used the Pedigree! J&J security and Glenn help him! If only Kane pulled up in a truck full of gasoline and set that muthaf***a on fire!

Hey don’t get it twisted – I like Seth Rollins! It’s that Glenn I can’t stand!

I’ve gotta question – Has Stephanie prepared a song for Seth? You know, Wind Beneath My Ring 2015????

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Chamber music, f**k!n the party up!!! Dean Ambrose I hope you know what you’re doing????

Ambrose bringing the Ruckus to Rollins!!!! He was ready to f**k him up with the cinder blocks until Triple & Steph granted the Championship match at the Chamber!

But even a one man army like Ambrose can outlast the Authority for so long… Rollins hits the pedigree – BLAOW! (Remind me to put that in Seth’s move-set in WWE2K15!)

The question remains – what becomes of Orton and Reigns? Where do they fit into the equation?

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1138, March 16, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

SHOUT OUTS:

I wanna big up my ninja from another mother – King Vaughn, check out his latest blog on his Top 10 WrestleMania events. Broken down and dissected, that man did the knowledge. CLICK HERE to check it out!

I also wanna big up my people at BDSIR Network Perfect Plex Talk Radio, superb interview with the man call Bruce Prichard – that man keeps it real, and hear Spotface break down and do the knowledge on the Evolution of Randy Orton and how it takes effect on Seth Rollins. With the Smack Talk Centre on their network, y’all wonder why they are the Best Damn Show In Radio heading into their 1000th podcast. CLICK HERE for the replay!

I’m the Infamous Informer, and I have NO sympathy, NO compassion, NO remorse, and I heard that somebody in PWL doesn’t read the news… I’ll leave it at that… for now!

ARE YOU EXCITED YET??? RAW #1138, HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZF**kin brilliant, the stream I’m using has those irritating adverts I can’t get rid of…well looks like Seth Rollins has recovered from last week’s beating from he who has voices in his head and they chat to him!

It’s ok – I got rid of the bullsh!t, let’s enjoy this RAW sh!t!

Look at Big Show apologising like a b!tch – where the f**k was you when Seth was getting buss arse!!!! Where was your Sean P punch???? SHUDDUP!!!

And as for you Glenn, with your stupid suit on, if you had your mask on, Randall would have been on fire by now…

And as for you J&J, I suggest if you want forgiveness, you join the Seth Rollins suck my d!ck club… you two jabronies take turns – one handle the balls while the other gets that cock meat sandwich!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WHOA!!! Rollins accepts the match at WrestleMania! Watch out Randall! Watch out for the Tandem Engine!

But he promises to END the future!!!! He’s gonna kick the future in his head!!!! We might not see that solar eclipse… but Rollins might!

Here comes the skipping anti-divas!!!! I’m sorry I’m laughing at JAY-BEE (JBL) is cussing Cole for getting the WrestleMania times wrong!!!! OH SH!T!!!!GRANT & LAYLA WWE2K15

Uh-Oh!!! The Bella twins don’t support the hash tag – #GiveDivasAChance, they say #GiveUsABreak… well THE GRANT SAYS – Watch where you walk Bellas! It would be a damn shame if Paige and AJ Lee ‘break’ your sexy bones with their submission techniques!

…I mean, Brie… don’t you want babies? How you gonna do that if Paige and AJ Lee make you look like Boxing Helena????

Boxing Helena

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Apart from Nikki defeating AJ Lee… OHHHHHHH!! Nikki you need a goooooood f**k! I think Rusev should get in that pu$$y and include Lana…. that will REALLY F**K Cena up!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

…and to think… the divas had a decent time in the ring right there!

Sounds like Big Slow and Glenn have changed their tune! Now they think Seth deserved the beat down! They enjoyed it apparently… Well I can see Glenn enjoying it anyway!

OH NO! Mizdow has to make sure that The Miz wins the André The Giant Battle Royal… or he’s fired! Well if it was good enough for Austin, Jim Ross, Mick Foley, Bischoff, John Meningitis… it’s good enough for you Mizdow!

Well Mizdow didn’t help the Miz against Ryback… he can’t be fired for that surely??? It’s only if Miz loses the battle royal!

But he got dropped with the Skull Crushing Finale – BLAOW!!!! Come on Mizdow! If Austin stood up to McMahon and beat him up every week I can’t see what the problem is!

OOOOOH SH!T – John Cena vs Rusev – contract signing!!! You know Rusev is going through that table right???!!!!

Make up your mind jabronies – what you chanting? John Cena sucks? Or USA! USA! John Cena stepped out of the title picture  and you fools still chant Cena sucks? Well I suppose y’all keeping it real… come on guys get a stipulation on this sh!t!

Look at the kids in the audience!!!! They are emotional!!!! They want Cena to f**k up Rusev!!! Even I never thought it would come to this so I apologise to the IWC… I’m human like you… I still got more sense than you though!

Big up Cena! It’s no longer a contract signing! It’s a declaration of independence!!!! WROOOOOOY!

STC WRESTLEMANIA 31 SIGN BDSIR

Wait a minute… where Lana at? Is The Rock getting in that Putin??? Booker-T is upset! Crowd is upset! WE WANT LANA! This is INJUSTICE! Roman Reigns come down the stairs!

OH SNAP!!!! Rusev NEVER said that he was gonna defend his title against Cena!! There’s substantial evidence!!!!

MY GOD!!! Rusev has gone too far here! disrespecting generations of America! F**K it Cena – KICK HIS F**K!N @$$!!!!

Rusev signed the contract after running America down to the ground!!! WOW!!!! No way is this a simple wrestling match – F**K THAT!!!! Cena – you gotta go Extreme on his @$$! You think Rusev could talk to me about Jamaica Land We Love???? He’d be a DEAAAADDDDD Super athlete!

New Day are in effect!!! Natalya in all leather! YES!!!!!

Oh no that might be f**ked up… one of the USO brudda suffered a shoulder injury? He might miss big big WrestleMania? He can’t fight his best? BASTARD!

Dayuuum! Everybody walk out on Rollins! The Authority don’t wanna get kicked in their head! Stephanie must be thinking – ‘I’m just rubbing my t!tt!£$ like Simon Says!!!!’

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh my god…. OH MY GOD!!!!!! Brock Lesnar does not give a f**k!!!! Suddenly I’m gonna pray for Roman Reigns… I mean, I believe he can win… but we talking BRRRROCCCCK LESSSNARRR! Did you hear him? Contract or no contract, he gonna be the WWE Champion!

“I. WILL. F**K. UP. ROMAN REIGNS. THE END…” and leaves the set! Expect that line to sell on T-Shirts!!!! Either that or we gonna see memes of that sh!t!

It’s like Roman’s being trained by Paul Heyman! OBSERVE!

A LIE ME AH TELL???? GRANT BODY – P!!!

Big ups to Larry Zkysbzo! Hall Of Fame rude boy! Bruno Sammartino teach him to fight! That means he’s an official bad man!!! He stood up to the NWO in WCW!!! I give him props!

Oh snap! Heath Slater and Wack Ryder get TV time??? You know big Big WrestleMania soon come!

My Hero Mark Henry showed them how to do it! Dash everyone out the ring! THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!

BACKSIDE!!! LL Cool J gonna be at big BIG WrestleMania 31??? What’s he gonna perform? Mama Say Knock You Out? I Shot Ya? Ill Bomb? Or my personal favourite – 4,3,2,1???

LL Cool J WrestleMania 31

 

Why do WWE love cutting off Heyman’s mic? They don’t do that to the Miz?

Heyman says Brock is gonna give Roman a ‘prison beating’? That don’t sound good at all!!!! Now look what you’ve done Heyman! Talking too much sh!t has made Roman come down the stairs! You can’t tell Roman ‘you can’t’!!!

Big ups to JBL! Roman’s shirt might say ‘I Can, I Will’, but T-Shirts don’t win matches!!!

It’s a great message though… I Can, I Will… shout out to NAS!!!!

All Roman’s fam is gonna be at Big BIG WRESTLEMANIA! (Does that include Rikishi? The Rock???) It’s a wrap, no way am I bringing my family to watch me lose! F**K THAT!

Haha! R-Truth on that Shaggy ‘It Wasn’t Me’ sh!t with the Intercontinental Title! This 6 man tag match should be great, but I’m more interested in the outcome…

Shout out to STC’s Shadfather – my potna in crime on the STC From The UK show – he said the Intercontinental Title is cursed – IT IS! I compare it to the Soul Edge sword – that sword turns people mad and sh!t to whoever wields it!

Soul_Edge_SC2

Even Triple Teef & Stephanie are having none of it from Seth Rollins! Why do suddenly I think all this is a set up to make Randall think yeah – I’m gonna f**k him up again, but all that time the Authority had his back all along, only for Sting to appear from the rafters with his baseball bat and f**ks up everything! Now THAT would be Mark-Out Worthy!

Obviously after last week, Bray Wyatt hasn’t watched the news! Let me tell you in Brock Lesnar language:

UN.DER.TAY.KER. WILL. F**K. UP. BRAY.WYATT. THE END!

Oh no! Next week on Raw, not only is Brock and Reigns gonna ketch-up face to face, but Snoop Dogg is gonna be in the hiz-house??? You know the divas will make sure their pu$$!£$ are clean for next week!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Ok it’s only Seth & Randall in the ring now!

Or maybe not! I KNEW IT!!!!! The Authority tricked Randall – but they didn’t fool the Infamous Informer!!!! Has Triple got his hammer???

Oh my days they gonna rush him…. WAIT A MINUTE! The crow sounded!!! STING IN AH DE RING WITH HIS BASEBALL BAT! BEAT DOWN THE AUTHORITY! THREW HIS COAT AFTER TRIPLE! Randall Orton! RKO’in muthaf***az!!! OH SNAP!! TRIPLE IS BEX!!!

Big ups to Jim Johnston – I wasn’t with Sting’s theme originally, but listen to it good… that is some Mortal Kombat last boss sh!t right there!!!

 

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1137, March 9, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

I have a question for y’all, If Biggie Smalls was alive, do you think he would have appeared on WWE? Do you think he would have performed at a RAW or WrestleMania??? I say he would have. People say that if Big & Pac were alive, we wouldn’t have guys like Wiz Khalifa, who IS performing, that’s the part where I take my essential toilet break… unless of course he gets interrupted by BRRRROCCCK LESSSNAR!!!

I’m the Infamous Informer, and I have NO sympathy, NO compassion, NO remorse, and if Khalifa gets BUSS ARSE, I will……LAAAAAAAUGGGH!!!!!

Biggie Smalls Is Da Illest! RAW #1137, HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZThe Authority are proud of Randall Keith Orton!!!! Little do they know that Randall is playing them all!!! B!TCHES!!!

Listen to the Authority d!ck riding Randall!!! See Randall is like that dude – Agito Makashima… don’t know who he is? He’s the DON in the Guyver Anime Series! GUYVER III MUTHAF***A!

GUYVER 3Randall is gonna go all the way with this!!!!! Just like an undercover cop!!!!

Oh snap! Randall’s putting the Authority on BLAST!!!! It’s true – they are supposed to be OFFICIAL bad mans!!! They are acting like b!tches!!!!

Remember just a few years back you jabronies were saying Randy Boreton??? Remember that???? Now you cheer him…. Who’s changed???? HA! EXPOSED!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

They got that first segment done in just under 15 minutes! Very good!!!!

What the hell is Stardust doing with the IC Title??? Damn the IC title is getting f**ked like Suzette!!!! (Who’s Suzette???) I don’t know… ask GZA!!!! (Wu-Tang fans know what I did there!)

See that’s why me nah support Wade Barrett again, lost to Danny Bryan, he can’t tek di pressure… hits the bullhammer on Danny while he was celebrating… little biatch… next minute Dean F**k!ng Ambrose comes out and claps down Barrett!!! Haha!!!!

Doesn’t look like Goldust vs Stardust is running at WrestleMania at all… that’s cool with me still… I can ride to that! Goldust in the Battle Royal maybe? Stardust in the ladder match? No problems here!

Er Stardust… leaving the IC Title on the ring post doesn’t sound too smart!

What I wanna know is, how come Wade Barrett hasn’t come for his title???? What is he a sissy???? HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh here he is! Wade tryna beat on Ambrose, but he’s brought Ziggler, Harper, Danny and Stardust in the brawl!

I love this IC storyline!!!! Now we got 7 cats fighting over the IC title! But R-Truth is a clever muthaf***a! Wade Barrett getting bex with Truth because he got the title… So Truth is like – here, now stop your noise! Barrett retreating up the stairs only to find out he got the toy belt! That time Truth run gone with the real title! OH LAWWWWD!!!!

Big ups to Connor The Crusher! It’s funny, we the fans were talking about Connor getting inducted, (he beat Triple TEEF!!!!) Not only is he inducted, he gets the Ultimate Warrior award! THAT IS DAN!!!!

Connor beat Triple TEEF

You think about it, not many have beat Triple because he uses the hammer! But Connor did it! RESPECT!

Oh no…. pay attention, Paul Heyman is here!!!! OHHHHHH SH!!!!!!!!!!T! He got a video for us!

What a nice man… Heyman shows us a look at Roman Reigns and his career….

GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!! Paul Heyman might have out done himself from last weeks promo!!! He broke the mic again!!! He even hinted that Brock will UNIFY the UFC and WWE title!!! Can he do that??? BACKSIDE! Now the title no longer belongs to WWE? And if WWE tries a screwjob move or sends Seth Rollins to cash his cheque…. Somebody Gotta Die! If I Go, YOU GOTTA GO!!!

 

BACKFOOT! Erick Rowan won a match!!!!! only because Big Show hit the Sean P on Glenn…. That ain’t the issue hold up…

Now look what you two have done… you sent Stephanie’s sexy @$$ out here…. oh hang on that’s a good thing!

Yes – you two jabronies need to fix up – Stephanie – just give the man back his mask if you want him to be a don again… stop this Sunday School Trousers crap!

Look at the state of Wiz Khalifa??? Him nah dress proper! Hang on – look at Wizdow! He has ‘TGOD’ written on his hoodie? WTF does ‘T’ stand for??? If I find out it is a shot at Wu-Tang’s U-God….

STC WRESTLEMANIA 31 SIGN BDSIRSo while Wiz Khalifa chats his nonsense wearing a John Cena shirt walking round with sh!t locks… let the Infamous Informer entertain you with a proper tune, since we are celebrating Biggie’s life right now…

OH MY GOD!!! Summer Rae & Eva Marie dep pon mi telly??!!!! Let me pay attention… let me see if All Red Everything has improved her fighting style…

Oh – it’s a singles competition??? Ah sh!t!!!!

Right AJ Lee won – enough of that sh!t… now Sting explains why he wants to f**k up Triple Teef…

Well I can’t lie, during the Monday Night Wars and the attitude era, WCW was losing the war… who was WWF champion for the majority of that time? TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEF!!! He used the hammer! I told you that man is NO GOOD! Amy Winehouse warned yo @$$!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Bless Curtis Axel! He’s after the US title at Big Big WrestleMania???? I say let him through! The crowd love him!

He’s like a glorified jobber – I’m not sure if Hulk Hogan or Mr Perfect will like what they are seeing here… oh well… no WrestleMania for Curtis Axel…. hey – maybe he will win the Battle Royal???

Well Cena did warn Rusev that if he talks sh!t about America, Cena gonna f**k him up….

…and he did using the STF super move! I smell an I QUIT match or some sort of submission match… look at Cena’s face when Lana accepted the challenge? BACKSIDE!!!! That ain’t heroic at all! It’s like Spiderman in the venom outfit!!!

Do I smell a Fatal 4 Way tag team championship match at WrestleMania as well? Cesaro/Kidd Vs Usos Vs New Day Vs.. the Ascension maybe? I hope so… I can ride to that! Everyone must decorate the kitchen table!

The MAN in the PURPLE SUIT!WHAAAAAAAAT!!! Naomi Vs Natalya right now???? Ok where’s the cocoa butter….

THAT’S WHAT’S UP!!! Naomi win again!!! Dayuuum I am fixing my trousers right now! Oh hang on what is this Los Jobberdore nonsense…Ok let me rephrase my vision – I smell a tag team turmoil match at WrestleMania…

While that’s on I’m gonna take a look at Ani James on babestation… she’s so fine – she makes my eyes roll into the back of my head!

We got 14,107 chanting that muthaf***a’s name… I just wanna line em all up and throw those d!ckhead wrestling fans in the concentration camps, Grant Hitler on they @$$!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Hmph! Here comes that outta order & bright Wyatt, he doesn’t watch the news! F**k!n with Undertaker is like throwing yourself head first in the grave and calling for the people to dig in the dirt!

14,107 with their iPhone lit up, you guys gonna get buss arse!

You see what happen when you f**k around with the urn? The powers come out, lights go out, all you see is lightning, the bell tolls, suddenly Sister Abigail’s armchair appears, all you hear is the Don’s voice… YOU WILL, REST IN PEACE!!!! But Wyatt seems to be laughing about it! The rocking chair bunn up! Wyatt goose cook! And he don’t even know it!!!!

I don’t think it’s worth talking about the handicap match between Roman Reigns and Seth/Randall… what I can say is this… NOW they are building that WrestleMania flava!

How dumb is Seth Rollins! Randall told him straight – he was gonna f**k him up… and that’s exactly what he did! Seth goes for the tag – Randall put his middle fingers up!!! Did he just do that? I think he did! Then the voices in his head chat to him, and told him to F**k up Seth Rollins! Destroyed him from pillar to post! FROM PILLAR TO POST! Vicious chair shots! a DDT into the concrete floor! sets up announce table, measures Rollins, RKO – BLAOW!!!!!!

The question remains – why didn’t Stephanie come out to stop this one? She did when it came to Big Show & Glenn! Oh that’s right… she remembered what happened in 2009!!!! Yep – best to stay out of Randall’s way when the voices chat to him!

THEY SAY, THAT WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS… THEY’RE RIGHT!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1129, January 12, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

You IWC muthaf***az are obviously either blind, deaf, or stupid, you know why? Because last week, I saw THREE GUYS get ‘fired’… I had my best friend come check me the other day, and he told me – ‘someone told him that ZIGGLER got fired…’ and the worst part is: It’s still real to you damnit!!!! I can say two things: one, Kudos to WWE for still provoking emotion out of you muthaf***az, that shows that when a heel does his thing right, and fans are wilding for days, WWE did their job. The second, and most important… SHUT THE F**K UP!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

macho man

Big ups to Macho Man Randy Savage! Finally in the Hall of Fame!!! And rightfully deserved! For all you dumb muthaf***az who still want C***s B****t in the Hall Of Fame… GET IN THE CHAIR!!! RAW #1129! HOLD DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZWell John Cena looks his happy cheerful self…. maybe he’s had a revelation???

WHOA!!!! Cena using IWC tactics here!!!! Use the hashtag #AuthoritySucks! He knows he wasn’t accountable for that sh!t the Authority pulled! I’m not gonna join the trend for the simple reason – I LIKE THE AUTHORITY! Especially that Stephanie – OHHHH! Front way – Back way – I’d tear her @$$ up!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Do we wanna see the three stars back in WWE? Well for me 2 out of 3 ain’t bad!!!! All Cena has gotta do, is defeat Seth Rollins…. in a Lumberjack match… sounds simple enough… Oh wait… it’s all the cats that support the Authority and all the Cena haters….

Wait a minute – the #1 Trend Worldwide is #RAWNewOrleans? I thought it was #Authority Sucks??? Isn’t that like an epic fail Cena? It’s only The Rock who can command such a trend!

Trust me Mike Cole: Cena doesn’t feel responsible… that’s the Authority using psychology on that sh!t! Now you jabronies love off your Ziggler, so you have no alternative to support Cena here! Is he a c**t now Robert Ashford! HA! I MADE YOU LOOK!

Maybe he is!!!! OH NO!!! The Big Show with the Sean Price Punch to Cena – P!!!!! Rollins wins! And Ziggler, Rowan & Ryback are still out of a job… BOO HOO – GET OVER IT!!! That’s what Ziggler’s brief says! OVER IT!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

So hold on… Naomi gotta fight with one arm tied behind her back??? I’d tie her with both hands but that’s just me – ahem – but if Ambrose doesn’t pass some stupid @$$ test he can’t fight in the rumble???

Now #LumberjackMatch is the #1 trend pon di twitter? HA! F**k all that – follow us pon di twitter – @stc_wwe and use the hashtag #fcukouttahere!

Next week on RAW: Hogan, Michaels, Razor Ramon and Ric Flair N!**@ all up in effect!!!! I see what’s going on there… that’s a WWE Network UK move… and guess what? I’m still not sending for that rarse!!! At least not now!

What’s this sh!t Big Slow be talking???? Did you listen to half the sh!t he says??? Nah, me either… something about Roman Reigns being a loser… even my stream can’t be bothered with this sh!t! it’s gone and crashed on me! Now I don’t know what Roman Reigns said to Big Slow! Or was it a blessing in disguise? Answers on a postcard please!

Maybe I should send for the WWE Network… this is not cool yo!

The rest of this blog is documented as according to WWE.Com

Look how long Alicia Fox has done this wrestling sh!t… if she can’t defeat Naomi with one hand tied GRANT - BODY - Pbehind her back Alicia will bring shame and disgrace to herself!

I bet that makes Booker-T feel sweet when he saw Alicia drop the scissors kick on Naomi! It made me feel sweet just seeing Naomi full stop!!! I bet sex with her is out of this world!!! That @$$ tho!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

On a real though, I love Stephanie but she doesn’t wanna f**k with Naomi… I’m telling you that from now! She put Naomi in that predicament in the first place!

I gotta respect any one who goes against Miz… knowing everything Miz does Sandow does! Down to the bumps! I respect them because how can they not laugh?! Because I’m an Undertaker fan… I’d love to imagine what would happen if he went against The Miz with Sandow there too? THAT would have me in stitches…

Damn I gotta say, Today is a good day for anyone who supports the Authority!!!! I mean, Big Show punches Roman through school buses, Alicia wins her match, Seth Rollins beats Cena, now The Miz defeats the Uso brudda!

Come on WWE! I know you want Roman Reigns to be your next top dude but you cannot deny Danny’s popularity, why won’t you let things run naturally??? It will break my heart to see cats boo Roman Reigns out of the building because he was…’forced down our throats’… look at Danny! He got the Yes movement rolling again, after jabroni journalists were quick to talk sh!t on their blogs talking about – the YES movement is over… does it matter if he has the look? He has the skills and with a simple YES! Chant brings a powerful message to the youth! Even your father Stephanie, embraces the chant now…

You need to get with the programme baby girl!

I see what you tryna do, anything to put Danny back on the shelf… so you send Glenn after Danny… er Steph, that ain’t gonna work you know why? because it was My Hero Kane who took out Bryan… not Glenn you silly girl!!!

By the looks of this brawl, Danny’s fighting style remains unchanged! I sincerely hope he has an alternative top rope move! I don’t know about that flying headbutt yo!

I don’t get it – why is Natalya & TJ at ringside when Paige and Brie Bella are fighting? Answers on a postcard please!

Oh I remember now! TJ has his hands on the Bellas lately hasn’t he?? See if wrestling recycles itself then if I wrote the script I would have had Cena suddenly come out and drop the AA/FU on TJ for ‘no reason!!!’ (No Reason??? Well you do the knowledge… observe…)

Haha! Paige just slapped TJ – WHAMMMM!!! And Natalya liked that sh!t! Look how fine Natalya is! I’m telling you man – Natalya ain’t getting that good loving… I gotta song for you Natalya, and it goes a lil’ something like this:

And I know you’re getting bored, dealing with him,

I know you miss my lovin, my thuggin, Thug Lovin!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!

Who else than to induct Randy Savage than the other half of the Mega Power himself – Hulk Hogan!

Macho Man Randy Savage – SALUTE THIS MAN! I have to admit though, I wasn’t a fan of him, I didn’t dislike him either… he was just one of the guys that was there that you simply couldn’t miss! What I can say, Macho Man was my dude in Spiderman!

“Please Lock the Cage Door At This Time!!!” Doesn’t it sound TEEF when the announcer says that? We need him for WrestleMania 31 that’s my word!!

I can imagine the IWC saying stupid sh!t like – ‘Spiderman knows how to take bumps!!!’

WHAT SORT OF MOVE WAS THAT BY THE ASCENSION??? It was like a double team reverse release flapjack or some sh!t!!! OH LAWWWD – I dunno you know! They could be better than the Road Warriors… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Quote from Mike Cole ‘They say they are better than Demolition, the Road Warriors, the Powers Of Pain… Soon they are gonna compare themselves to the Mega Powers’… Uh oh don’t rattle Hogan’s cage Cole!!!

…and now we will never know who is the official bad man between Ryback and Rusev (storyline folks don’t get cocky) so instead we get Ambrose Vs Rusev… er I like both guys… so I wanna see a good clean fight, ok???!! Ok er maybe not…

Gotta say I love that move by Dean Ambrose – I’m sure it’s in the WWE2K15 game – where he looks like he’s gonna fall out the ropes but bounces back and claps em down with a mean clothesline!

Damn Ambrose! You must be the only dude that loses matches and the IWC b!tches don’t call you a jobber/someone who gets buried!!! Damn the Authority is killin em this week!

WHOA!! They made Brock speak on the mic!!!! (Hold your heart Grant) Don’t worry I’m here!!!! He says he gonna conquer everybody! YES!!!!

Contracts signed, no going back now! Is it me or does it seem that Brock has become more of the ‘neutral’ or ‘tweener’ character here? Because Mr Tandem Engine (Rollins) has taken this heel sh!t to a new level! (well not quite Triple’s level) but you get the idea!

HERE WE GO! Seth takes the first swing, misses, Cena comes with counter technique, Brock Lesnar – German Suplex to Cena! German Suplex to Rollins! Cena recovers, FU to Lesnar through the table – BLAOW! Turns to Triple – and says this -‘Do you see me now??’ (WrestleMania 31 hint)

Rollins recovers, bounces off the ropes, Curb Stomp to Cena – BLAOW! Here’s the big one – bounces off the turnbuckles, Curb Stomp to Lesnar – BLAOW!!!

I know what you’re thinking… Rollins is a DEAD MAN at the rumble! I don’t think Triple is a fan of Ice Cube, but Stephanie knows her hip hop, and as far as the Authority… she’s gotta say, Today Was A Good Day!

GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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www.cageamateursuk.com

Monday Night Raw #1124, December 8, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

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It’s the image that shocked the world, broke the internet, got muthaf***az bussin a nut.. wait a minute… This is the THIRD TIME I’m starting the blog off this week! To me it’s like, every time WWE pulls off something controversial, this guy pictured above steals their spotlight. Now he’s a UFC fighter… I wanna know how my people at Cage Amateurs UK think about all this… mixed opinions across the board, personally I think Philip will actually do better than the nay-sayers are thinking and get this – those nay-sayers are CM P**K worshippers!!! they have turned their back! You see me? I’m a Rock fan… when he moved into movies I still supported him and he is still the man, OK! When Brock had his UFC time in there, I supported him. Even though he broke my dude’s streak, he’s still the man… OK!!!! Whatever happened to loyalty?

SLAMMY AWARDS!!! If you didn’t vote on the WWE App, You can’t say sh!t!!! RAW, 1124, HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZBig ups to Seth Green! You know why? He just put all the other garbage awards on blast! They all phony, they are all pre-determined and sh!t… we know FULL WELL Iggy Azazel could never win best Hip Hop Artist?????!!!!

Damn look how little Seth is to Miz & MizDow!!! Ha! Enough of that sh!t… who gets the THIS IS AWESOME! award??? We find out after Dolph Ziggler Vs Seth Rollins!

At the TLCS PPV joint, Ziggler faces Luke Harper for the Intercontinental Title in a Ladder match… that will be an exciting contest.. Ziggler has earned my respect, but F**K DOLPH ZIGGLER!!! Backing Luke Harper all the way son!

YES Rollins! Curb stomp that b!tch into the canvas!!! It doesn’t change the fact that I don’t like his @$$!

Sting wins the award! Let’s be real he turned the internet upside down! that is until CM B!TCH decided to speak out… attention seeking B!TCH!!!!

Wait a minute – Seth Rollins – you can’t accept that award in Sting’s absence???? (I think you’ll find he can Grant…) Him too outta orda & bright!

Side Note – Seth – I still can’t ‘hate’ you…. you supposed to be the top heel and I can’t hate you… DAMN!

Earlier Slammy Awards: The Rock won insult of the year (when he dissed Lana), The Usos won Tag Team of the year, Dean Ambrose won best breakout star, hashtag of the year – #RKOouttanowhere and Fan participation – goes to ‘You Sold Out’ to Seth Rollins… can’t argue with those apart from the last one – every time the Authority came out or AJ Lee would fight the crowd would take their d!cks out, start wanking as they cry – ‘CM P**K!’

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh snap – the New Day beat Dust2Dust??? BRILLIANT!!! Wait a minute – not John Meningitis???!! NO!!!!!!! Ok who won Shocking Return of The Year???

Well we know who WON’T be winning…. my good Wu-Tang friend – Batista! Y’all hating… thank god I’m not like you!!! Look at Batista now – starred in one of the blockbusters of the year and now him dep pon the new James Bond Joint…. when I play this video below, I am sure Batista will approve…

Laugh at them Batista! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

YES…. my dude, my first hero The Ultimate Warrior wins the award…. rightfully deserved!

Wise words from Paul Heyman to Seth Rollins: You wanna be the future? F**K UP JOHN CENA!!!

WORRRRRD!!! Charlotte dep pon Raw???? WICKED!!!! Where’s the cocoa butter… (Sorry Ric!!!)

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GRANT BODY – P!!!

I see the science though, promoting that NXT R-EVOLUTION sh!t this Thursday!!! I’ll be on that no doubt!!!!

I know y’all hate that show, but I’d love to see Charlotte on Total Divas…. that way we see Ric Flair n!**@!!!

Nah f**k that – we need a tribute song for Charlotte! You think Charlotte could make it to be 16 time Women’s champion??? OH SNAP – Natalya beat Charlotte????!!! WHOA! Er…

Ok here we go – OMG moment of the year… I know where this is going… I’m ok don’t worry…

Well it was no surprise! The 1 behind the 1 in 21&1 claims that award…. DAMN YOU HEYMAN!!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!! Ok I’m alright now…

Oh lawwd I never clocked it from last week!!!! Ambrose destroyed the rocking chair????? HE’S DUN IT NOW!!!!! Dayuuum that’s what Bray Wyatt did in retaliation on SmackDown??? F**ked up the throat of Ambrose with the chair? Imagine if this was TV-14 mode…. good gawd almighty…

STC TLCS

Out of Darkness, cometh light… in the form of Dean Ambrose out of an ambulance???? OH SNAP!! So er.. what does this mean??? Does the loser leave in an ambulance on some TLC Ambulance match sh!t???? Please WWE make this sh!t happen!

It’s only right that the original dutty bwoy gets to present the Diva Slammy award… Well I know who won’t win… my bamboo Layla… but that’s ok, I don’t complain on the internet and I don’t lock myself in a basement…I don’t smell of bad odour…

YES!!! AJ Lee wins diva of the year!!!! I cam run with that!!!! RESPECT!!! Oh dear the Bellas and Paige are bex about it! To that the GRANT SAYS THIS: Paige – SHUDDUP!SAM_3845 Brie – STOP YOUR NOISE! Nikki – TAKE OFF YOUR TINGZ!!! You wanna baby? Taste my super sperm!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh snap!!!! Luke Harper Vs Eric Rowan in singles competition??? This should be good!

I can’t help feeling that these two are merely sparring with each other… like you can’t see any intensity with this sh!t… at the same time they are not afraid to destroy each other for no reason!

Ok this LOL award… it ain’t gonna be in my taste… personally I think when Triple TEEF was singing Another One Bites the Dust to Cena… ok the mother’s day shout out from MR.T was a good one…

Or the princess pudding – yeah that one gotta win! Vickie & Steph throwing themselves in the soup… that was brilliant! hated Vickie but to see Steph like that – OHHHHHH!!! Remind me to buy the Stephanie McMahon Fitness DVD for my fam for Christmas… I can tuck into my mince pies watching that sh!t!!! OH YEAH!!!

Mizdow wins!!! Well ok I give him props! The creativity and energy behind that sh!t… wait there – The Miz can’t accept the award??? OUTTA ORDER & BRIGHT!

I think Lana should get the ‘every man wants to f**k her’ award… F**K that – she should get the ‘every woman wants to get a strap-on and f**k her award!!!’ That includes the straight women!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Shout out to the Shield – Best faction, Danny Bryan Vs The Authority – Best Feud, yes it was emotional still…. that TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEF!!!!! Danny & Brie gets best couple… I gotta agree there! Then again there is me & Layla…

TLC Kick off – New Day Vs Dust2Dust… backing New Day ALL DAY!

Here’s my latest hero! Ryback!!! Respect to that man! People get hurt in wrestling – it is what it is… Ryback threw CM B!tch through a table… BIG DEAL! You don’t know pain??!!! The Undertaker, threw Mankind off the top of the cell, chokeslammed him through the cell onto the canvas, worse than that, Terry Funk got chokeslammed out of his smelly trainers… until you experience that… SHUDDUP B!ATCH!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Shout out to JAY-BEE – he acknowledged Vincent Kennedy’s hit song – STAND BACK! I think that should be re-released for Christmas #1… do you know how many downloads that would get on iTunes??!!!!

WHAAAAAAAT!!! Ricky ‘The Dragon’ Steamboat to present the Match Of the Year award? I say Seth Rollins Vs Dean Ambrose Hell In A Cell… but I never voted on the WWE App… so lets see what they got…

WORRRRD!!! Team Cena Vs Team Authority won the award!!!! I can’t front – that match was don!!! Ziggler takes the award…F**K Ziggler – Sting should take that sh!t! He shut down the authority! Ziggler didn’t do sh!t!

Summer Rae is obviously bex she didn’t win diva of the year… well firstly Summer, you don’t teef next gyal boyfriend! two, you don’t disrespect Natalya at her own yard! And three, you don’t d!ck tease Fandango! Four, you ain’t even that nice!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Good to see Rob Van Dam in the hiz-house!!! Let’s see who wins the Extreme moment of the year!

Brock Lesnar gotta win this surely!!! He f**ked up John Cena big time! Saying that… My hero Kane did drop three tombstones to Danny Bryan and f**ked up his neck…

Rock-stone!!! Chris Jericho wins! the cross body off the top of the cage to Bray Wyatt!!! Props to Jericho! I disagree but hey… I didn’t vote so therefore… – wait a minute – Fandango – you can’t accept the award – where you going???!!!

Trust my stupid @$$ laptop to crash on me… it was a slow @$$ process to get back in it… to discover that Roman Reigns has won Superstar of the Year??!!! WHOA!! I bet the IWC are up in a frenzy here… just remember you b!tch @$$ low-lifes without the benefit of intellect, you didn’t vote on your muthaf***!ng WWE app, so shut the F**K UP!!!!

Since I’ve seen Big Show Vs Cena like 400 times, I wasn’t tryna watch this sh!t again… but what happened at the end was the Team Cena Vs Team Authority sh!t…. this time with Tables, Ladders, Chairs & Stairs! Ruckus all over the place including the Big Show punching Ziggler & Cena through school buses, Ryback dropping meat hook clotheslines, then Seth Rollins and his stooges dropping the triple powerbomb to Cena through the table – BLAOW!!! even Triple & Steph had to stop halfway through intercourse to watch that sh!t!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

OFFICIAL STC THEME FOR WWE TLCS PPV: WU-TANG CLAN – Hold the Heater

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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 www.cageamateursuk.com

Monday Night Raw #1109: August 25, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

I stand before you a damned fool… I usually do the knowledge on a lot of sh!t, but not this Ice Bucket challenge sh!t… I understand that it’s for a cause, but ask yourself: Is the money REALLY going there? Why did we not think of those in third world countries who are dying for a drop of water? Why did Band Aid make that song 30 years ago, and up-til now the kids are STILL starving? Why did I engage in an activity that my ancestors were subject to torture? I can’t hold myself completely accountable…since my favourite celebrities did the same thing. Don’t get me wrong – I loved watching y’all do the challenge online (especially some of the women on my FB list… GOD DAYUUUM!) If the money goes to the cause, fair play… but if not, and there’s no true cure for cancer, and the kids in third world countries are still to be fed…

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I AM THE INFAMOUS INFORMER, WOLVERHAMPTON’S LAST OUTLAW, GRANTINGTON STEELE – (That’s what happens if certain divas come near me not mentioning any names – (Layla) AND THIS IS THE RAW REVIEW BLOG! EPISODE #1109 – HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZWord on the street is that Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair & Shawn Michaels is in the hiz-house!!! But why? It was Vincent Kennedy’s birthday on Sunday… Get this wrestling fans – Vincent Kennedy turns 70 NEXT YEAR – That day falls on a Monday, August 24…. just letting y’all know…

The first ever WWE Hall Of Fame Forum??? I’m sure they had one of these before that featured Booker-T & Bret Hart among others…. well anyway let’s see what this is saying…

They are gonna discuss John Cena Vs Brock Lesnar???? You know the conqueror is gonna show up… Hogan and Lesnar reportedly talking trash…

Dayuuum HBK doubts Cena! HBK thinks Cena might have to start considering retirement???? Surely not??!!! Ric Flair agrees with him!!! Dayum he’s not feeling it! Only Hogan thinks differently! Well he would, he’s all about hulking up on some bullsh!t and coming back with a leg drop…. Big ups to HBK and Flair, they keeps it real!

Cena – you said you gonna bring the fight to Brock! Last time you said that Brock German Suplexed your blodclart 16 times!

Forget David Vs Goliath… this is some Rocky Vs Drago sh!t!!!

Here’s another fool who thinks he can win against my newest hero Rusev!!! Swagger – IT’S OVER FOR YOU!!! last time you passed out to the Accolade super move… this time he’s gonna break your back and your neck! RUSEV – I’m not as attractive or as ravishing like Lana, but RUSEV – CRUSH!!!

YES JAY -BEE! You started the lyric game early! “Swagger needs to make amends! if he doesn’t he has to leave the country!” That only drives me to support Rusev even more!!!! Imagine that!!! that should be the stipulation right there!

I can’t lie – I thought Swagger had that much won when he got the patriot lock on Rusev. Rusev looked like he was gonna bite his own hand! NO RUSEV!!! Don’t let Vladimir Putin down!

Ha ha! I love that sh!t! Swagger screaming ‘We the People’ at Rusev, and before he could finish, Rusev kicks him down as if to say SHUDDUP!!! LET’S GO RUSEV!!! For me! For Putin! For the WORLD!!! And most importantly, for LANA! You want more of that sweet pu$$y don’t you???!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

YES!!!! RUSEV BEAT HIM DOWN!!!! STAMPED HIM OUT!!! Where’s the flag at? YES! That is REPRESENTING!

So nice for Bo Dallas to check in on Swagger while the doc is checking his ribs out… I mean he’s right, all he had to do was Bo-Lieve!

Here’s another case of whoever loses, I win! RVD Vs Cesaro – winner fights Sheamus for the US Title at Night of Champions… I like all three guys so it should be a great contest come the PPV…

..and even though Cesaro vs Sheamus will be a great match… can’t help but feel that WWE dropped the ball here…it’s time for Rusev to go against the US champion… then you couldn’t call a champion!!! Rusev is undefeated!!! Or are they going to save that til a future PPV like say I dunno…. Survivor Series???

Right for all you jabronies who are wondering what’s the point watching Raw if Ambrose is not on tonight, here’s an answer…GRANT & LAYLA WWE2K15 Paige Vs Natalya! I am SO FEELING Natalya’s attire, shows off her sexy thighs…. dayum girl!

JAY-BEE YOU DID IT AGAIN! ” Can you imagine if Natalya has to tap out to her own move? She’d be thrown out of Canada!”

Well Natalya won’t be thrown out of Canada… but she lost to Paige’s supermove – The Paige Turn… but forget all that – What the deal with AJ Lee??? Hugged up Paige and called her  – her English Muffin??? Took her hand and kissed her? Damnit why doesn’t these two just get it over with and get some scissor action going???

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Wait a minute – a eulogy for Dean Ambrose???? JAY BEE is killing me today! He says he’s gonna miss him! Look at Kane and Seth Rollins dressed in black! Yo Kane! Where the casket at? Oh yeah – last time you f**ked around with a casket your brother f**ked your head up!

I have a question Rollins: How are you gonna blame US – The WWE Universe for choosing the stipulation when they were all the same sh!t last week??? Falls Count Anywhere/No DQ/No Holds Barred = ALL THE SAME SH!T!

Ok Rollins you destroyed the Shield…. INJUSTICE! Roman Reigns is coming down the stairs! Kane & Rollins cannot handle the Rage of Reigns!

Right you IWC B!tches it is clear that Reigns is feuding with the whole authoritaah! One by one, until he faces Triple Teef. After that, he will send for the Rumble and win that mofo, go to WrestleMania and become…. CHAMPION! But here’s the twist – Brock WILL NOT be the opponent… you know why??? Because of one Dwayne Johnson… You forget Vincent Kennedy wants that money match for WrestleMania 31… He wants Brock Vs Rock II. Roman will most likely fight whoever the champion is by then. Will Sting fight Undertaker? Time will tell. Why is Hogan in training? He hinted at Cena… remember the words of the Infamous Informer… I have just predicted 4 matches right there!

Ok we gonna get a tag team championship match that I felt should have waited til Night of Champions but…. I’m gonna go with WWE’s madness and see where this goes… The USO Brudda! The Dust Brudda! LET’S GO!

Oh no! They went USO crazy! But did they fake that knee injury to get themselves disqualified? And if they did, Was that a ‘heel turn’ by The Dust Brudda??? Beating down the USO brudda like that??? Answers on a postcard please! Or holla at us at the WWE smack talk centre – http://www.facebook.com/groups/smacktalkcentre – Request to join – DON’T BE A WEIRDO!

ANOTHER AWARD WINNING INTERVIEW PROMO FROM BRRROCCCK LESSSNAR!!!! He’s basically saying that for 12 years Cena was only the man because Brock went on to conquer other sh!t, which he did…he claims that Night of Champions will be Cena’s LAST NIGHT! Oh man!!!! As an Undertaker fan, I don’t feel so bad anymore, even though I’m over the streak thing!

Oh f**k… Miz & Ziggler are on… this is the part where I go to the toilet… I don’t even need the toilet – I’m gonna switch on my PS3 and have a quick game of Soul Calibur…

Say what? Damien Mizdow? The Miz’s stunt double???? Lawd have mercy – let me hit the PS3 switch…

In fact f**k that – let me see my favourite Ice Bucket challenge…. I got a bit of a Soul Calibur going on in my pants watching this!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Looks like my Soul Calibur is gonna stand at attention because now the Bella Twins are in the ring… and if Nikki Bella ‘hates’ her sister, shouldn’t she change her music???

Jerry Lawler is gonna see if he can reconcile the two… more like get a Bella sandwich!!!! DUTTY BWOY!!!

Oh snap – she just took a shot at the guys that can’t get any pu$$y! Taking shots at Danny! Jerry Lawler!!! I thought Summerslam was time of the month but now she wished death in the womb! Dayuum she assaulting Brie! I see you wrestling dorks hoping for a wardrobe malfunction and got your Sky Boxes hoping to hit pause if you catch a glimpse of Nikki’s panties! Ha! Your eyes have to be razor-sharp like mine hahaaha! I’ll be looking forward to your saddo Sky pause screen shots on Facebook!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Get it over with Bella Twins give the fans what they want – a good ol’ bra & panties match! (Calm down Edmund Mulhall!)

Oh man don’t tell me Kane is gonna fight in his school trousers again…. the new school term starts in two weeks! If he splits his trousers… oh boy oh boy!

Handicap match! Ka – f**k that – I’m calling him Glenn from now on… My hero Kane wears a mask and tombstones priests and sets people pon fire! This guy with Seth Rollins fighting Roman Reigns? His name is GLENN!

Clearly these guys are not here to win the match – they are here to f**k up Reigns! NO – WAY – I know they didn’t send for the cinder blocks again to drive Reigns head top through them like they did Ambrose… luckily for Reigns he had strength to fight off Rollins and Glenn!

I like how JAY-BEE & Jerry Lawler are arguing about the actions of Rollins & Reigns, Michael Cole stays out of it and then cuts in to talk about the WWE Network which 170 countries can get for $9.99! Great commentating guys!

Ok, Kofi Kingston is in the ring… time to pay attention. We gonna find out the truth if this ‘Black Men United’ faction will manifest or if it has disbanded like the dirt sheets say and you jabronies read and Bo-lieve…

Talking of Bo-Lieve, why did Swagger attack Bo Dallas for??? All Bo Dallas did was give words of inspiration…Sore loser…

Right we gonna see if Cena’s fighting style has cracks in it after that beatdown by Lesnar… don’t worry Cena – Bray Wyatt cannot drop 16 suplexes on yo’ @$$!

Wait a minute – is John Cena dropping suplexes on Wyatt??? Rude boy – he’s sending messages to Lesnar here! I wonder – is Cena gonna rise like the Undertaker and stick his tongue out???

Well Cena didn’t make it to 16 – The Wyatt man dem clocked on and shut that down quick! Hol on a minute playas! This ain’t Teddy Long but The Grant says watch this become a six man tag team match… because Big Show and my hero Mark Henry have got involved!

Ok let’s look at it on the real… Can Cena execute 16 suplexes? Or can Wyatt take that punishment? So basically they styled it out???

The authority made it a 6-man tag team match… did they really? I don’t remember seeing Triple Teef or Stephanie’s sexy @$$ there??!!! Unless it was Glenn who issued it… let me check their twitter real quick… in fact f**k that – it’s not important!

Wow! Cena came different yo! He didn’t send for his 5 moves of doom…but he dropped those Supermoves on all the Wyatt’s @$$£$! Well you gotta give the kids hope! Restore their faith in their hero!

Meanwhile….

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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BDSIR Networkwww.cageamateursuk.com

Monday Night Raw #1102: July 7, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

Before this blog jumps off I wanna give a big, BIG!!! SMACK TALK CENTRE shout out to member Lee Steadx whose wife has given birth to a beautiful baby boy this week! BIG RESPECTS TO THAT MAN!

It’s the gift and the curse of my life, I know I will be a father of none, unless Layla wants to finish her wrestling career and settle down with the god….

GRANT BODY – P!!!

YO! I got my walkers crisps, my homewheat (Y’all call it chocolate digestives but I’m old school!) my supermalt, I got strawberry ice cream for later, jaffa cakes… I’m ready for this sh!t, are you??? RAW #1102! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZWord on the street is that Bret the Hitman Hart is in the hiz-house! Let’s hope this weeks Raw isn’t a 4/10! OK bad joke – the Infamous Informer can come better than that!

So w’happen? Triple Teef and Stephanie McTeef are on vacation??? No one to run the show??? No wonder Raw didn’t start with them two like it does always! Oh my days it’s gonna be anarchy up in here tonight!!!!

WROOOOOOOOOY!!!! Just like I said, not even 5 minutes in, Roman Reigns calls my hero Kane – Randall’s b!tch?? WAR UP INNA DE DANCE!!!

Officials trying to break it up, referees chokeslammed – BLAOW!!! Finlay is one of the officials now – did you know that??? Nah me neither – he got speared by Roman Reigns – BLAOW!

I’m not gonna talk about the Wyatt man dem Vs The Uso brudda unless something big happens… question – Raw this week is in Canada, why isn’t Jerry Lawler calling it ‘Bizarro Land’ like he used to?

One other thing – I hope 2K games put the Uso brudda in the new game as regular characters! Not no DLC sh!t!!! That goes for Cameron & Naomi, Paige, Curtis Axel (even though I’ll just brukk him up) that Bo Dallas kid, Rusev and especially that Lana… OH YEAHHHH!!!

Why are the Usos complaining about the legal man not being pinned??? You guys are more identical than the Bella Twins! I wouldn’t call the Bellas – twins no more!

Talking of Bella twins, they introduce Nikki but not Alicia Fox???? Alicia has been smashing it lately with her story-lines… RACIAL MAN RACIAL!

Both must fight with one arm tied behind their back… I’d tie both arms, bend em both over and twist their backs out!!!GRANT - BODY - P

GRANT BODY – P!!!

…and why should Alicia have her hands tied in this match??? her ancestors were caught up in metal chains in 1555 and…. you know what – I’m not getting into that!!! I see the science though… treat Nikki Bella like sh!t so that we feel sorry for her – WELL THE GRANT SAYS that is no longer our concern – she wants to be married to John Cena so bad – and Cena doesn’t lift one finger to help… you think I’d let my woman be f**ked around like that???? A man must protect his first lady… I think Roman Reigns is right along with the fans – Cena SUCKS!

GOD DAMN LANA… you wearing anything under that blouse????

No way – Rob Van Dam is the next victim to Rusev???? Come on RVD – use your martial arts techniques! Lead by example on The Raid!!! Those guys got skills!

OK Rusev Vs Swagger at Battleground???? BACKING RUSEV ALL THE WAY! I keeps it real – I’m not supporting Swagger and Colter just because they turned face… f**k that!

One thing I’ll give Colter credit for – and I don’t do that often – is not cross the borders to Canada! Ha – my woman from Canada will f**k them up!!! Let alone the Infamous Informer!

JAY-BEE – are you an exclusive member of the Triple TEEF kiss his @$$ club? Stop wishing them the best on their vacation! I ain’t saying sh!t – you know why? because I wanna f**k Stephanie as well! I’d show that gyal how to twerk it – twerk it! Give her some loving then send her back to her husband & kids!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Hold up – if Dean Ambrose pulls off a figure four leg lock on Randall, how does that pay homage to Bret Hart? I know it’s a submission move, but the Sharpshooter is Bret’s super move isn’t it???? JAY-BEE – GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

Oh snap! It just hit me why Triple & Steph are on ‘vacation’… they don’t wanna be in the same building as Bret!!! HA! HA!!!

Now look what you done Randall! exposing Ambrose’s bad shoulder, now he throws whole heap of chairs in the ring… oh lawd – somebody gonna get f**ked up tonight!!!

…but the chair dem nah help him???!!! RKO into the canvas – BLAOW!!!!

WTF??? Fandango announces he’s in the Battle Royal at Battleground, and he shakes his hips in front of three guys Cole, JAY-BEE and Lawler? GAY!!!!

WTF??? Michael Cole asks Fandango – who he likes better – Layla or Summer Rae, this was his answer – ‘Fandango likes Fandango’…. and with that, I’M DONE! Bertie Vs Ziggler? F**K THIS MATCH!!!!

What’s more, Fandango does his gay dancing and Ziggler is distracted??? Making Bertie win the match? THAT’S THE MAN YOU SUPPORT…. someone who is staring at Fandango dancing like a queer???? F**k out my face Ziggler fans!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

I can’t stand all this faggotry nonsense – here’s a pic of Rosa Mendes… just for no reason… actually the reason is to forget all that stupidness that happened…

Rosa Mendes 2

Aaaah I feel so much better now…

BIG UP THE BEST THERE IS, BEST THERE WAS, BEST THERE EVER WILL BE BRET THE HITMAN HART!!!

OK Bret don’t get excited – you’re in Montreal, you got goosebumps and you are hinting at one more match?? Goldberg where you at????

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh lawwd -Damien Sandow is burying himself here, dressed up as Bret and running down Canada???? Maybe Bret DOES have one more match left in him! One punch in Sandow’s grill – BLAOW!!!! Sandow you’re my dude but you deserved that – word up!

Thank you Jerry Lawler! Sandow is a man who got skills – why the f**k has he gotta dress as all these different people and make a dyam arse of himself??? Sometimes it’s funny but sometimes I’m just sitting there like – (facepalm)…

If Sandow wanted to generate TRUE HEAT, all he had to do was dress up as Shawn Michaels… you know the fans in Montreal are still trapped in 1997???!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

OK one-on-one action with The Miz Vs Chris Jericho…. just like Bret Hart said once, I know how this match is gonna go, exactly how it is predicted… the Wyatt man dem are gonna come and f**k up Jericho again!!!

Miz – word from the wise – don’t boast about being a movie star and keeping your face as your money-maker – don’t you think that would make guys in the locker room wanna f**k you up??? Like I don’t recall my STC ladies Dawn Bayley, Susan Brunton, Loz Blick, Ref Tonya Stevens, Ashley Vera, Beckii Tyson, Emma Edwards, Emily Brown, Rudie Rai Ryan talk about how good-looking and sexy you are Miz???? The Marine 4??? Hercules is coming out muthaf***a!!!!!

WHOA!!!! Did Jericho just counter Bray Wyatt and told him to shut the f**k up??? He can’t do that!!!! He’s ready to run up and beat him with the rocking chair he be sitting in, here comes the rest of the family! Er Jericho, why didn’t you take a steel chair with you???? and maybe your Fozzy guitar????

OK so maybe Paige hasn’t turned evil after all… seems like she gonna team with AJ against my favourite nubians the Funkadactyls….

No not the Canadian fans too? Don’t chant his name??? Oh it’s ok, they settled down…

Oh HELL NAW! Miss girl bye-bye is doing her nails and make up not tagging Naomi??? Now they fighting on some stupid sh!t…. dayuum…. I hope Naomi tears out that blonde head top of Cameron! It’s like one reps for Nicki Minaj and the other reps for Rapsody!

Remember last week Cesaro f**ked up Kofi Kingston??? If I was Kofi this week I’d be like – f**k a wrestling match – send for the kendo sticks, steel chairs, tables, the lot, set the sh!t’s on fire and bunn up Cesaro!

Kofi wins again, Cesaro was about to f**k him up again, but w’happen – Pastor Lang- er I mean Big E comes out of nowhere! Now all you gotta do Big E is round-up Mark Henry and Titus O Neill or R-Truth or Xavier Woods, get Ron Simmons as their manager and become Black Men United!!! You remember the tune! This should be the theme tune right here!

SHOUT OUT TO MIKE KNOXXX, SPOTFACE, & THE PERFECT PLEX TEAM!!!

This is interesting, this week on Smackdown, Roman Reigns takes on the evil Rusev and his sexy @$$ Lana???? Now I don’t watch Smackdown much… but I might just tune in for this one! Maybe Lana’s orifices may become moist!!!!

HA! HA! HA! HA! Bo Dallas defeats El Torito, does a victory lap, and knocks down El Torito in the process??!!! All you gotta do is BO-LIEVE MUTHAF***A!!!

Main event jump off – John Cena Vs Seth Rollins, I’ll tell you how it’s gonna go down… Seth will deliberately get disqualified, continue the assault, then try to cash in his cheque… then again – Dean Ambrose will run through and stop that muthaf***a!

Do not adjust your sets attitards, John Cena just did an electric chair move with one arm! PUT THAT IN THE GAME 2K!

So let me get this right so I can understand this: You chant ‘Cena Sucks’, then you chant ‘You sold out’ to Seth Rollins… so who do you support???

Well I forgot about the Kane part…. well no doubt Roman Reigns will be on his way now that Randall is out here teefing as well!

Irrelevant – Seth just clapped Roman and Cena in his head – he’s gonna cash in his cheque!!!

Dean Ambrose says NOT TONIGHT, NOT ANY NIGHT ROLLINS! Kane goes to chokeslam Cena – gets speared by Reigns – BLAOW!!!

You know what, I’d finish this blog but since WWE Network is free this week, I’m off to watch the Monday Night War… f**k y’all attitards!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1097: June 2, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

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I figured out why wrestling idiots said Payback was rubbish… because you didn’t turn up. Hopefully Philip Brooks, they will finally leave you alone.

Where are your CM Punk memes now Ian Cooper?! How do you like your hero now Ash Blick? Even Nicola Box is ashamed, and removed the ‘CM Punk’ from her name…

When will you fools learn that you cannot test the lyrical manifestations of the Infamous Informer???!!! RAW #1097, HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZFace it Evolution! You Evolved back in 2005. IT’S OVER FOR YOU! The Shield are far too strong! I think all three should be the World Wrestling Federation Champion straight away! If Danny can’t fight, give the belt to the Shield!!! BELIEVE IN THOSE OFFICIAL BAD MANS! TWICE IN A ROW MUTHAF***A!

Oh my god look at Triple’s eye!!!! BLODCLART!!!

What??? I thought you said the rivalry dun at Payback Triple? Oh for f**k sake fans CM Punk is DUN! Don’t chant his name – he loves hockey now.

OH SNAP!!!! First Brie Bella, now Batista just quit the WWE as well??? He can’t do that!!!(Oh I think you’ll find he can Grant… he gotta promote his Guardians of the Galaxy film!!!) Evolution D-U-N – DUN!!!!!

Question – why the f**k is Cesaro walking like that??? Him look like he’s constipated and sh!t!!!!

Question #2 – why aren’t the fans now chanting Batista??? He quit in Triple’s face…. chant his name then! Where’s all your memes? I bet you will all be queuing up at the cinema to see his film…. YOU DUMB RARSE!

So in this team of RVD & Sheamus Vs Cesaro and Barrett, RVD gets the pin on Barrett… does that mean RVD gets another shot at the I.C. title??? I have to ask these things because the wrestling fans need to know these things!!!!

Question #3 – why aren’t you chanting Brie Bella??? Or should I say Brianna Danielson? She quit in Stephanie’s face, and Yes! Yes! Yes! her way out of the building! Don’t you want her to come back???

Look what they have done to Damien Sandow…this is a heartbreak… please creative let this lead to somewhere… what happened to his robe, and telling muthaf***az SILENCE! And his cart-wheel?

WELL IT’S THE BIG SHOW!!! Well I’m glad he’s in this segment and not tryna stop Rusev because I fear that’s where that storyline is going…

PPPPPPPPP!!! Thank you Big Show! He just punched Sandow through school-buses like Froch did to Groves!

All you gotta do is BOLIEVE! He goes up against Kofi Kingston. Question #4: Where’s my hero Kane to interrupt the proceedings????

Oh dear! the crowd chanting BOring!!!!! They can’t do that!!!!! (Er yes they can Grant, They paid their money!)

OH NO! Stephanie is going to the ring to make an announcement about the WWE GRANT - BODY - PWorld Heavyweight Championship??? Yo Danny! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!! DON’T LOOK BACK!!!

Oh no Batista this is what you may want to hear! And you quit?

Is that how it goes down in the streets? If Danny can fight by the end of this month, he has to fight Kane in a stretcher match? No Steph! Make it an ambulance match! If not then the Money in the Bank match will have both titles hung in the air??? What’s Cena doing out here? You not the face of the company any more muthaf***a!!!

So he drops real talk on Stephanie’s fine @$$ and on top talks about her t!tt!£$… she sets my hero Kane on him!!! Embrace the hate John!!!! Hopefully Kane will start going after Nikki Bella! DO IT KANE!! GET DEM T!TT!£$!!!

Well thank you very much Los Matodores and that bullsh!t 3MB… I went to make my pudding because you jabronies were on and look what you make me do, trip up on the wire and accidentally lock off the laptop… not only that, I missed my girl Alicia Fox… I don’t know what the f**k she did so I’m gonna play this footage right here… apparently she was cussing bad words in Germany…. can she do that??? That is Question 6!

You think I’m interested in that Adam Rose/Wack Swagger match??? F**k that I’m watching this video!

Fans – STOP CHANTING THAT MUTHAF**!NG CM PUNK! HE DOESN’T GIVE A FLYING F**K ABOUT YOU! Brie Bella and Batista does! CHANT THEIR NAMES! I swear this CM Punk thing is getting me angry star! IT’S F**KING OVER! STOP BEING SO F**K!NG RETARDED! WHEN WILL YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR JEREMY KYLE THICK SKULLS??? That’s Question 7!!!

Oh dear…. The Wyatt man dem are here… but there is an empty rocking chair… oh dear! Cena what you done to Bray??? YOU KILLED HIM??!!! That’s Question 8!

Talking of chairs, what do you think of this special chair that I’m making for Ian Cooper? STC’s #1 CM Punk fan who got fooled the most? That’s Question 9!

SAW Get In The Chair

PUSH HARD THOUGH IAN!!!!

Oh man these Wyatt mans do not ramp! They seek vengeance… and defeated the USOs… can you imagine Harper & Rowan as tag team champions? It would be all over for the tag team division!

Bertie Vs Ziggler in a Money In The Bank qualifying match? BACKING BERTIE HERE! COME ON BERTIE!

That’s it crowd, chant for Ziggler… he is there fighting… he cares about you… I don’t care about him personally, but he CARES!

YES!!!! That’s a tap out!!! Ziggler nah go nowhere!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! BERTIE ADVANCES!!!! YES!

Ok… can Rybaxel win again??? two nights in a row? It could be huge!!!!

WHOA!!!!! Rybaxel win again???? Backfoot! The end is near!!!!

Rusev is about to be honored by the Russian Federation Ceremony? For what – beating on our brothers??? I wanna hear wither ‘Kick In the Door Wave in the 4-4 or ‘Somebody gonna get their @$$ kicked?!’ But this means Lana gonna be there with her tight blouse & skirt… Lana is that girl – you gotta go Lexington Steele on her @$$! You just cannot help but think pornographic thoughts when you see Lana! Like I couldn’t bring her home to mom, nah-mean?!

HA! HA! You can’t tell the crowd to stop their USA chants Lana! They want to put their d!ck in your mouth! Even the women!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Cue the Russian Anthem! WROOOOY!!! Listen to how it sounds triumphant! Here’s Question 10 – Does Rusev know the words? Considering he’s actually Samoan?!

Word up – how many teams can say they brukk up every member of Evolution? NONE!!! The Shield are OFFICIAL BAD MANS!!!

You hear that Randall? Get out here so that Roman Reigns can brukk you up with the symbol of excellence!!!! So Triple comes out with the symbol of disgrace! HE HAS BROUGHT THE HAMMER!

Wait a minute – NO!!!! Seth Rollins!!!! But…But…But!!!! I thought you were brothers??? Why you took a Triple TEEF endorsed chair and destroy your brothers??? Why? Tell me WHY??? DAMN SON!!!

Let’s be real about one thing: We knew someone was gonna turn evil, STC’s Negrodamus predicted that it would be Roman Reigns… but Seth Rollins? I forgot, his name is Seth…. suddenly that music springs to mind… if you are a Street fighter fan, you know what I mean!

BEHOLD THE GLORY THAT IS THE TANDEM ENGINE!!! This should be Seth Rollins new music!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

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