Tag Archives: Kurt Angle

Monday Night Raw #1280, December 4, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

F**k talking about WWE right now, it was wack last week. Like Matt Hardy, DELETE LAST WEEK’S BLODCLART!

GRANT BODY-P!

RePPiN4U Overeem

Let’s talk about the YOU – EFF – CEE! Holy smokes! It was a lot better than the card on paper word up. Michelle Waterson & Tecia Torres – OWWWWWW! You two would get it. They opened the show, good fight. Then Alvarez Vs Gaethje SMASHED IT. Gaethje had the match won, but Alvarez… MAXIMUM RESPECT to him. Let’s skip the third fight because let’s be real, they knew they couldn’t follow that match. Then Overeem Vs Ngannou – The Sean Price Punch heard around the world – GOOD LORD! Sean Price would be so proud! Even I turned it into a meme! I DON’T MAKE MEMES! And Max Holloway Vs Jose Aldo… I like Aldo but he was outclassed here…

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RAW 1280! EXCITE ME! HAVE STEPHANIE SUFFER A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION! LET XAVIER WOODS INVADE RAW DURING PAIGE’S MATCH DO SOMETHING!

Steph Raw

Survival kit: Spicy Black pepper crisps, Jaffa Cakes and Drinking chocolate… do you think that’s smart on my part???

And the booing has begun against Jason Jordan! I’m waiting for the crowd to start showing signs saying ‘Die Jason Die’!

I see someone in the crowd with a ‘Paige Marry Me’ sign…you sir have no taste in women, she is a dutty whore, she gives her pu$$y away, and well, if you want to contract aids I guess that’s up to you!

Well Double R did tell Jason Jordan to step up and take the opportunity! And Double J responded with a belly to belly to Double R! I guess NOW he has the big dog’s attention!

Gotta say Jason Jordan is GOING IN against Double R!

Look at Samoa Joe doing the knowledge! Aaaah man!

I’m telling you right now – This Jason Jordan dude – if he keeps this sh!t going – he gonna be champion in 18 months time. This match kinda reminds me of The Rock Vs Kurt Angle back in 2000 and The Rock put him over… you see what I’m saying?

Oh no! Samoa Joe gonna finish the job on a mash-up Double R but Jason Jordan intervened with a suplex to Samoa Joe! But why did Double R drop superman punch to Jordan? Oh yeah – he’s not a good guy, he’s not a bad guy, he’s THE GUY!

GRANT BODY-P!

WHAT A LYRIC! “Like Father Like Son right Kurt?!” Oh snap! making reference to the TNA days!

This ugly rarse… I hope Sasha Banks busses up her clart… but while Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville are at ringside… I’m not sure Sasha can win… unless Mickie James and Bayley steps in… and remember now – they haven’t troubled Nia Jax… or Asuka!

Oh snap! Sasha has brought her back up so that there is no teefing! The girl who is nice to look at but an ugly attitude – Yes I’m talking about Alexa Blitch – is on commentary. I just want Absolution to rush Alexa and beat up her blodclart!

COME ON SASHA! Kick down this b!tch! Talking about its ‘her house’ but you’re THE BOSS LADY! You represent HIP HOP! Don’t let Snoop Dogg be disappointed that you lost to someone who likes death metal!

Damnit! Sasha hit the Bank Statement but Paige reached the ropes! Absolution was ready to teef but Mandy and Sonya were still too strong! Paige recovers and drops the Ram-Paige – BLAOW!

I never noticed this but Sonya – you got no t!tt!£$! You got two backs! Oh no! Well you are getting that WWE money now – upgrade a cup size!

GRANT BODY-P!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ELIAS!!! For the first time – he made me laugh! He told Kurt Angle to put away his cell phone and hold his applause until he has finished! What if that was a McMahon on the phone!

Wicked wow – watch out now – Machine Gun Kelly is performing at Tribute To The Troops… well I won’t be watching that sh!t – CALLING KEVIN OWENS! SORT HIM OUT!

WTF?????? Nia Jax wants a piece of Enzo Amore? WHAT IS THIS? No no no this is not allowed! Shad get in there DO SOMETHING!

NIA SELFIE

You know Shad gonna have MAJOR BEEF with Kevin Dunn & creative now!

Suddenly I’m not interested in this cruiserweight match – I wanna know wha’gwarn with Nia and Enzo! HAHAHA this is gonna be great!

That’s the second time Elias has made me laugh! Did he just point out Machine Gun Kelly and say –‘no one knows who you are’?! FANTASTIC! Respect points gone up!

OH NO! I don’t think Braun Strowman likes that tune! BRAAUUUUUUUUUN!!!!

Elias run garne!!!! Wait there – maybe not – what was he thinking attacking Strowman from behind?

He busted his guitar over Strowman and it had no effect! That time he tried to run and he got ketch! Running powerslam – BLAOW!

I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!

HOLD UP – My hero Kane is back! His crushed larynx has recovered!

He says they gonna clash next week… but where’s the stipulation at? Buried alive? Inferno? Even Mike Cole is asking!

Is Alicia Fox ready for Asuka? I dunno… she isn’t all there in her head!

The real question is – Is Asuka ready for the Infamous Informer?? Hey Asuka – Wait til you see my Heihachi Mishima sword!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh no – these three idiots again… and it hurts me to say that about Sonya and Mandy…

They gonna kill Foxy! Ah well… I’m gonna miss her…GRANT WWDJC2

Paige loves Alicia… NO YOU DON’T…

Alicia – your legs did not run like last time! They turned into jelly and sh!t!

“The ramblings of a mad man…” I can’t believe Bray Wyatt said that about #Woken Matt Hardy… what de rarse?!!!! So hold up – he’s gonna delete Bray Wyatt? He might as well – Wyatt ain’t done sh!t!

GRANT BODY-P!

Apologies for not writing about the Tag Team Championship main event… I’m just waiting for the finish…

Sheamus TEEEEEEF! The Shield had the match won! But Sheamus deliberately got The Bar disqualified! But Kurt said – NOT SO EASY! YOU MUST RESTART! Now it’s a NO DQ match! That fool Booker-T doesn’t agree – but they ARE THE BAR right?

Samoa Joe – TEEF!!! He attacked The Shield for no reason! Double R came down to even the odds but by then it was already too late!

A better effort than last week… well done guys, still not up there with recent weeks, but put it this way – I didn’t find my bed halfway through…

 

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Monday Night Raw #1265, August 28, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

50 men have come, and 50 men have fallen. Officially – NO ONE can beat him! Love him or hate him – he had your attention and that’s real. RESPECT HIS GANGSTA!

Actually I wanna address the haters real quick… still in denial? Talking about ‘it took 10 rounds to take a non-boxer out’ – it will take me 10 seconds for me to tell you – SHUT THE F**K UP! Go and lose 10lbs, invest in that tenner in your pocket instead of ordering pizza for your racist fat @$$!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1265! We getting money YEP! Hall Of Famer YEP! He deserves it YEP!

Steph Raw

NO RAW beginning? We just gonna start with The Miz with his annoying self!

We got Jerry Lawler on commentary! You think he’s gonna be dutty towards Alexa Blitch?

Just as The Miz was gonna chat sh!t, Kurt Angle interrupts the proceedings!

Kurt Angle has no respect??? I’d rather Kurt have no respect than The Miz having no manners!

Looks like there is gonna be in a battle royal! Winner faces The Miz at the No Mercy joint! Oh wait – I got it wrong – it’s running NEXT WEEK on RAW – Intercontinental title defense!

Remind me in the morning I must start watching the Mae Young Classic jump off… the #1 reason I put back on my WWE Network – me want to see the gyal dem fight!

The Miz seems to be enjoying what he’s seeing from this Battle Royal! Everyone dashing each other out the ring and falling on their side!

Oh so that’s why… he got his cronies up in the match too! But what if Bo Dallas or Curtis Axel win? (hypothetically…)

Bray Wyatt TEEEF! He wasn’t in the match! Appeared out of nowhere doing his children of the corn sh!t and dashed Finn Balor out! CALLING STIPULATION FOR NO MERCY!

Just when you thought Jason Jordan was the favourite to win… Jeff Hardy emerges victorious! Oh wow! I like this!!!! The Miz doesn’t like it I can tell you that!

Now that Enzo fights on 205 Live, the question remains – is he still gonna mix it up with the regular roster?

Big Cass is out the game for a good number of months! Dayuuuum… that’s his push on hold before it even began!

At least we can keep it moving because quite frankly, that storyline was wack homes!

Neville doesn’t seem to be impressed with Enzo’s fighting style! He thinks he’s gonna be champion for ever! For ever ever? FOR EVER EVER!!!!!

WHOA! Brock Lesnar twice in two weeks!!! Good lord! Not even Undertaker got this treatment with Brock’s appearance dates!

GRANT BODY-P!

Don’t get it twisted – I’m not that dude who complains about Brock’s status and how he defends his Universal Championship, actually I’m that dude who doesn’t give a f**k – I got nothing to lose – Brock can do what the f**k he wants!

Not just that… Brock spoke as well! Man this is serious! Snatched the mic from Heyman like “What he’s saying is – Suplex City B!tch!”

Hold up – Seth Rollins just teefed a move from Apollo Crews! He can’t do that! Standing reverse moonsault while opponent was on the canvas!

Uh oh! I like this! If Emma defeats Mickie James, it’s hashtag city! However, if Mickie wins, Emma can’t say she started this women’s revolution sh!t!grant-body-p

What the rarse? They changed Emma’s music! Er… I don’t get it! 2K games – don’t worry about that!

OH SNAP! Emma defeats Mickie James! Maybe the music change was worth it! Emma started the women’s revolution! I know! We learn something new every day! Poor Mickie, maybe she needs to find a new love interest or something…  back in the day she wanted to get her scissors on with Trish… god dayuuuum!

I am quite shocked that they are running John Cena Vs Roman Reigns at the No Mercy joint… I mean, it has big BIG WrestleMania written all over it… even Mike Cole said so!

John Cena just says he has no Fs to give! Well nor do I Cena! Join the club!

Er… Double R.. rubbing it in about retiring the Undertaker! I respect it but don’t do that!

Cena just called Reigns a ‘Corporate created John Cena bootleg!’ Yo keep me outta this!

Cena is killing Reigns on how to cut a promo! Reigns is now going for low blow techniques on the mic! Reigns is recovering though!!! I think they have thrown the script away here!

“I’m still here because you can’t do your job!” Damn Reigns!!! HOLY SMOKES! I feel bad for you… I really do! The likes of CM P**k and The Rock have struggled against Cena’s lyrical sword!

Trust me – the IWC are gonna be partying hard with those memes this week!

Elias Samson is the ‘Elvis’ of the WWE? So does that mean he’s gonna dead on the toilet?

GRANT BODY-P!

You done it now Elias –  you provoked Jerry Lawler! I hope Lawler doesn’t send for his singlet…you know what happened last time!

What is this nonsense? Pelvis Wesley? Southpaw Regional Wrestling? GETTHEF**KOUTTAHERE! Put on Alexa and Sasha sexy @$$! Oh lawwwd…

Let me get my mint & chocolate chip ice cream y’all – I wanna see Sasha brukk up Alexa blodclart all over again!

You see – Alexa & Sasha don’t like each other in real life – they should apply this in the storylines! Look how successful the feud between Edge & Matt Hardy was, or HBK Vs Bret Hart! That added intensity! Right now I’m not feeling that with Alexa & Sasha…

OH SNAP! Alexa Bliss – NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION WOMEN’S CHAMPION! Nia Jax congratulates her – OH SNAP! Nia just put her down on some Batista sh!t – BLAOW! YES!!! I smell Triple Threat… she took out Sasha as well!

BRAVO RAW! I made it through the three hours! I yawned here and there but yes! Y’all came through! Double R & Cena though… good lord! That’s what we like – throw away the robotics – keep it 100 on the mic!

JAMMS

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Monday Night Raw #1258, July 3 , 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

So the Slammiversary popped off! and NEW! Unified TNA Champion (or whatever it’s called) ALBERTO EL PATRON! There he is running down the WWE in the middle of the ring… after all they did for you Bertie, if it wasn’t for them, you wouldn’t be f**k!n Paige. Ungrateful sh!t!

GRANT BODY-P!

Unlucky Cody Rhodes, you didn’t quite make history by holding both the ROH & IWGP titles… Good thing you didn’t, because my fellow JAMMS host and STC member Aydenn Wardle would have lost his sh!t and would have blew his load faster than Chicago bussin into Iesha in Poetic Justice.

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RAW 1258! We don’t sing Great Balls Of Fire over here?!!!! We sing FYYYREEE!! from Busta Rhymes!!!

Steph Raw

Right – I got half a pack of lockets, a hot drink of lemon and honey, plus a pack of jaffa cakes. Yes your Infamous Informer is not very well, and he doesn’t have Penny to sing him soft kitty… however this is Monday Night Raw, we ain’t tryna sleep!

Oh dear, my stream is f**k!n up! Maybe I’m not supposed to watch the World Wrestling Federation Live! I juts missed 15 minutes of this sh!t…

By the sounds of it, I missed Enzo talk sh!t in the ring for that long, and then ambush Big Cass from behind. Ah well!!! Onto Sasha sexy @$$ and Bayley potato @$$!

I know you’re the boss lady, but even you cannot contend with Alexa Blitch and the Bottom and the Breasts Nia Jax!

“This is MY division Sasha!” OH HELL NO! I changed my mind – Sasha – BEAT THAT B!TCH @$$! YES! A BANK STATEMENT! ALEXA BLITCH TAPPING OUT! BEEEEAAAATCH!!!!!

An exclusive interview with Brock and Joe? On the go home show before the PPV? You cannot be serious right now! THAT AIN’T HAPPENING!

Is this thing with Naom Dar/Cedric Alexander/Alicia Fox sh!t still going on??? I only expect this from Hollyoaks! Oh yeah – it’s a ‘male soap opera isn’t it??? Aww shucks…

Sheeeeeeet! Heath Slater been in the WWE game for 8 years! And he never won a title? Last time I check – he won the tag titles with Rhyno! Oh he means a singles title…

Miz says there will be no title matches… YES! KURK ANGLE will have something to say about that!

SERIOUSLY! Miz talking to Kurt Angle like that? This dude got no manners!!!! Heath Slater can fight Miz for the title NOW! If Miz holds down the title (which I think he will because he’s a b!tch hiding behind Curtis Axel & Bo Dallas) then he got Dean Ambrose to deal with at the Great Balls Of Fire joint!

The question remains – who thought up that PPV Title and who got that sh!t approved? Was it one of Vincent Kennedy’s favourite tunes of all time? If that was the case I wanna have my own wrestling promotion! I would call my PPVs ‘Da Mystery Of Chessboxing’… ‘House Of Flying Daggers’, ‘Assassination Day’, ‘Winter Warz’, ‘Bring The Pain’, ‘Brooklyn Zoo’, ‘4th Chamber’… should I go on????

GRANT BODY-P!

Come on Slater!!! WHUPP HIS @$$!!! THINK OF THE KIDS!!!! THE KIDDDDDSSSSS!!! YOU GOTTA PAY THAT CHILD SUPPORT MUTHAF***A!

Damnit! His blodclart Miztourage! Miz has always been a b!tch!

Did you hear that? John Cena advertising Tapout Body Sprays? Talking about feeding trolls and stopping internet warriors?? Here’s looking at you retarded 434 fools!

OH Sh!t – Titus may have a slogan for Apollo Crews – Crews Can’t Loose! But we talking BRAUN here! And Apollo just had a daughter! Apollo must protect her from monsters! They are everywhere! And above all else – keep her OFF THE POLE!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Great Balls Of fire

A 30- minute iron man tag team match between Sheamus/Cesaro & the Hardy Boyz at the Great Balls of Fire joint? WHOA! Sounds like WWE have been watching the Slammiversary and That G1 thing lately and got their study on!

Don’t you think that’s f**ked up people? Big Big Great Balls of Fire joint about to pop off and Finn Balor is not even fixed up in a match? But Raw made sure wrestling purists got their jerk on as he battles Cesaro here!

Wait a second, maybe he IS in a match at the PPV! I forgot about this Elias Samson dude… is that a bad thing?!

YES Wrestling fools don’t have a heart attack – Brock Lesnar IS SPEAKING TO SAMOA JOE! He is the best of the best of the best! You think Paul Heyman gonna say something stupid?

Hey Brock is laughing at this whole thing! He hasn’t gotta look for Joe! Joe gotta look for him!

Joe is on some – LET’S GO CHAMP! I like this! Considering it’s the go home show!

Joe is bex!!! Brock isn’t! You would think it’s the other way around! This is great!

Just when I thought Braun was getting better competition in Apollo Crews! For a minute Crews was killing Strowman! But Strowman hit the running powerslam, 1, 2 and – WAIT! He picked Crews head up! UH-OH!!!! DOUBLE R GET DOWN HERE FAST! THIS IS INJUSTICE!grant-body-p

He just dropped a second running powerslam! took his head off the canvas before the 3 and licked his forehead! OH MY GOD That’s some Wyatt sh!t right there!

After 3 Running Powerslams, it’s over… hey Crews… it could have been worse you feel me?

He just dashed Crews in the ambulance and told the driver to get going! But the driver nah move!

It’s DOUBLE R!!!! DUNA! DUNA! DUNA! DUNN-DUNN! How can you guys NOT LIKE this dude? YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!

UUUUUUOOOOOOOOAHHHHH! Spear Strowman off the stage into tables – BLAOW!!!!! But how is he gonna drag that carcass into the ambulance? That’s what I wanna know!

Strowman still on his feet! BLODCLART!

Yo, I watched Wonder Woman recently. That Gal Gadot though! OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Some lucky muthaf****a married her quicktime! She is FLIRT ON SIGHT I’m telling you! Watch STC’s Edd Mulhall… he’s on the case… he knows where all the naked pics is at! Personally, I don’t think Gal Gadot got any naked pics… I think Edd uses photoshop and is very efficient at it!

GRANT BODY-P!

Wonder Woman

 

JAMMS

Monday Night Raw #1132, February 2, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Monday Night Raw #1132, February 2, 2015!!!

Grant - still got it!

While you guys were debating on what that Triple Teef is gonna announce that will ‘shake the foundation’ of WWE, while most of you were b!tching about the Royal Rumble match, For one night only I donned the ever famous Purple Suit… and as you can see… I STILL GOT IT!!! Yes go ahead and chant! ‘GRANT STILL GOT IT’! ‘GRANT STILL GOT IT!’ I’m considered a ‘Hall of Famer’ on the dance floor these days…. and as for you (STC member) Edmond Mulhall… I’m not THAT DUDE anymore. That era of me is gone forever – much like the Attitude Era. It’s time to move forward! I have a woman who loves me, and I love her, and I’m not talking about Naomi!

“Ya’ll go to parties to ice grill
I go to parties to party with nice girls
Young boys gotta chill
30’s the new 20 n!**@, I’m so hot still…!!!” (Jay-Z, 30 Something, 2006)

RAW #1132!!! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!

Shout out to the New England Patriots!!! I heard you guys cheated to win the Superbowl! Muthaf***az are wilding! Whoever Loses, I Win – you know why? Because I’m a man of Jamaican descent, and my vision of a Superbowl is that good soup, yes, that yam & dumpling, that meat, all those spices and vegetables in it! CAN’T GO WRONG!

jamaican-beef-soup

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZAnd here we go!!!! Start the show right! Bring the Authority! This announcement has to be off the hook surely!!!! Look at them pointing to the sign!!!! Oh boy…

Oh no!!!! The Authority supported the Patriots!!!! It’s best for business???!!! Oh sh!t! Triple throwing shots! #CancelNFLNetwork??? Triple is going in!!!! DAYUUUM!!!

Crowd chanting Rocky… that confirms that the problem doesn’t lie with him… Come on guys out with it!!! Drop this announcement! I know you gotta stretch it out!

I know the Authority are not tryna shut Roman Reigns down from going to WrestleMania… that’s INJUSTICE! Never mind what The Rock did… COME DOWN THE STAIRS ROMAN!

Oh snap! They using the Samoan family against Roman??? They can’t do that!!!! The announcement hasn’t been dropped yet! Danny Bryan is here!

That’s what it’s about! Danny Bryan never lost his title! He was injured after all!

…and Seth… he hasn’t cashed in his cheque yet! He was in a good mood on Smackdown…oh look here now 20 minutes gone and the segment has not ended… see this is what Austin was on about with Vincent Kennedy – they ramp about too much… not getting to the point…the fans wanna see some action now! As for me… I couldn’t care less! Will Austin ask Triple these questions? By the time you have read this you should know the answers if you have the WWE Network for £9.99 or for privileged folks like the Infamous Informer himself, for FREE until March!

Austin HeelbookIf that’s the major announcement, then as part of the WWE Universe I don’t feel shaken to its core… Seth & Danny Bryan gotta fight each other… winner faces Roman at Fast Lane. Winner out of that goes to WrestleMania…again, whoever loses – I WIN… I like all three guys… what does it matter????

Roman is like – F**k it… I’ll do this sh!t…. if I gotta fight Big Show 1000 times like I have done, Fight Seth or Danny… then that’s what I’ll have to do!

Why are the announcers acting like it’s the worst day of Roman’s life? He didn’t get 16 suplexes and 2 F5s by Brock Lesnar did he? He didn’t get battered by the Undertaker in Hell in A Cell??? Hell, he didn’t get dropped in a car via a forklift truck? F**k that – he didn’t get his legs shattered by steel stairs, taken into hospital, tormented by Mick Foley, and then only to be beaten up by a ‘nurse’ with a bed pan!  All in one day!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Now Triple Teef thinks he can manipulate Austin???? He’s asking to be getting dropped again in his car by a fork lift! Now Curtis Axel is making up noise… Now look what you IWC jabronies have done! You’ve put the notion in his head that he should go to WrestleMania! Talk about he wants ‘justice’… Whaddup Dean Ambrose! Can’t get more justice than that! He just threw Axel over the top ropes! NOW HE’S ELIMINATED!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Gotta admire WWE for bringing out Black History… go ahead and say it… this is Vincent Kennedy’s way by saying ‘I’m not racist!!! I just don’t think Afro-Americans should not be representing our company!’

I don’t think these Authority rebels are sweating their opponents… Ryback fights Luke Harper… Ziggler Fights Wyatt, and Rowan fights Rusev…. to quote Kurt Angle: WHOOPIE-KYE-YAY! or to quote my favourite superhero BLADE: OOOOOH SO EXCITING!!!

Suddenly I’m contemplating taking a nap until Austin’s live podcast comes on!

Told y’all! I wasn’t even paying attention and sh!t!!! Ryback picks up the win! Come better than that Stephanie! Setting up these matches like these guys supposed to be scared and sh!t!!!

WHAAAAAAT!!! Is that how the Usos are going on? With Naomi involved in the entrance?!!!! I love this woman!!!

Nattie looking fine as usual too! I’m so glad she’s showing off her curvy legs a lot more…. that’s what’s up!!! Tyson Kidd – I’m sorry – you ain’t that right man!!!!

WHOA!!! The Miz just fired the stunt double??? Can he do that???! Because a fan wanted Mizdow’s autograph??? All we waiting for now is for Mizdow to box down the Miz!

…and another thing… since Eric Rowan went face… it’s like his deranged character doesn’t exist anymore… I don’t know why he walks around with that buzzard mask or whatever it’s called, it’s like he’s fully human… how the hell can I buy into the gimmick? You see what I’m saying????

Now this is where I pay attention… because Ziggler fights Bray Wyatt, in which I hope Wyatt will win… this guy claims he fears nothing… living or dead… I hope he’s not cryptically speaking about the Don of Dons…. he don’t want none of him I will assure you… especially after he lost last year at WrestleMania???? He might be seeking vengeance… trust me Wyatt you DON’T want NONE of HIM!

YES!!! Wyatt hit the Sister Abigail on Ziggler – BLAOW!!!! Now talk your sh!t Wyatt…. I wanna know if you talking sh!t about the Don of Dons!

Er Triple…. why you and Seth talking about Randy Orton for yo??? Ok Seth you will wonder why you gonna get RKO’d through the canvas… don’t say I didn’t warn ya…

Oh my god Nikki!!!! Dayuuum look at you!!! Yo Cena – make sure you f**k her good right??? TGrant & Leannaight up dress and over the knee boots? Are you kidding me girl! Cena you f**k her right in the pu$$y!!!

OH SNAP! Even Sky Sports is not feeling the divas match… to the point where they got a technical fault and sh!t!!! It must be a wrestling fan who recently got a new job on Sky! I say we hunt him down and skin him alive! “What’s wrong you don’t like women???” (Grace Jones as Strange, Boomerang, 1994)

And co-incidentally… it comes back on when the divas match ends… f**k!n battyman!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Damn that theme they got for Fast Lane is WACK!!! Give me some time to come up with the STC theme tune for this…

OH SNAP! The Miz ‘re-hires’ MizDow as a ‘personal assistant’ well he’s doing his job alright, he assisted in costing the Miz th…. hold on Bray Wyatt is talking!

MUTHAF- he IS talking trash about the Don of Dons!!!! Talking about -“They used to FEAR you, but you let that fear turn into love … I AM THE NEW FACE OF FEAR!” – Bray #FindMe! #RAW

Question – while Rusev is fighting… don’t you wish you wanna creep up behind Lana and slide it up her Putin???

GRANT BODY – P!!!

HA! HA! HA! HA! OH SNAP!!!!! EPIC FAIL WITH THE RUSSIAN FLAG! Rusev & Lana are bex!!!! Capacity crowd ROLLIN!!!! I like how the announcers styled that out! DUN KNOW memes galore is gonna come out of that sh!t!!!

Main event: Danny Bryan Vs Seth Rollins… who you backing? It matters not to me!

Wait a minute… why is the Big Show out here??? You already know there’s gonna be some mad teefing going on!

And they tried it!!!! But Roman Reigns went and speared the Big Show – BLAOW! Hit the Superman punch to Rollins! Danny wins!!!! OH LAWWWD! The WrestleMania sign is within Danny’s reach! How funny is that… Mike Knoxxx and Spotface spoke about Danny Vs Roman on their Perfect Plex show… and look! They must fight each other at Fast Lane!!! Well you fans spoken… look w’happen! My hands are clean…. WHOEVER LOSES… I WIN!!!

 

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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The Jobber Blogger – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 5/11/14

jobber blogger bonfireYup, that’s about as exciting as it gets.

I went to a Bonfire. It was a little one behind a local Pub, I watched it from a Distance…. was nice. Then went home.

Number One Hundred and Thirty Three! Good old #133 – reminds me of nothing.

You know, I’m struggling with TNA these days. It seems of late, though their program is usually fairly solid, and despite the odd expectation, it’s just a little… boring.

I’m not bored watching it, but my enthusiasm for the product is drifting. But then, as I constantly moan about, I’m sure that’s down to the fact it’s Taped. It doesn’t feel right, least not what we’re used to.

Which is an interesting and also non relevant thing, given what I will talk about in a minute.

I suppose when I pull it apart, TNA is pretty good. Bobby Roode is champ, The Hardyz are competing, the Tag-Team Tournament was awesome. I like the direction of the Knockouts currently, though a little more than just Havok would be nice, granted Madison and Taryn are feuding, but it’s taken a huge back seat to Havok.

Whilst on the topic of the Knockouts, I miss Brooke – Tessmacher that is, not Hogan.

She did an interview recently about being more involved with TNA again next year. Hopefully The Amazing Race will bring Brooke and Robbie E over as an on-air couple when it’s all finished.

I’ve never watched it, I don’t even know what it is…. I’m guessing their Racing? And that it probably isn’t as Amazing as the name implies.

Anyway, lets break down TNA Impact when I get to Impact.

redlinebootcampLet’s talk about British Bootcamp.

I mentioned Episode 1 two weeks back, but then I hadn’t got round to watching Episode 2 in time for last week’s Jobber Blogger. So now I’m up to date with all 3 episodes watched by my eyes.

Currently, Boot Camp is more exciting to me than Impact.

Should that be possible?

Episode 2 was alright, the high light was obviously that Andrews chap whose name I’ve gotten… aside from the Andrews part.

Episode 3 however brought it up a notch, everyone was good. I’m glad they are all going through to this week’s (tonight’s) show.

The idea of all of them competing on a Card, that’s awesome! So yeah, I’m pumped. I don’t know who I’m rooting for. I guess Grado has the advantage as obviously all that mess was a work.

I say obviously… it seems obvious to me, but then I could be wrong. Probably not though.

It’s this weird “Reality” meets “Wrestling” that never quite feels right.

TNA try their hand at it all the time, but it leaves far too many problems and plot holes… like the stars watching the product.

Which brings me to the thing I’m most excited to talk about!

redlinelucha-underground-tna

Oh yes!

I am Biased! Granted, anything Rodriguez has his name on, I’m excited for.

I don’t know how much input he has on Lucha Underground, but it sings with his influence, or least the influence of the Mexican culture.

I’ve been looking forward to watching this for ages, it’s debut last week in America actually took me by surprise, I didn’t think it was so close to coming out.

But it’s hitting a lot of the Wrestling News and it’s viewership in just one week jumped 163%.

Ladies and Gentleman – It’s Good!

Now I don’t if we’re all excited because it’s something new?

Because not only is it something “new” but it’s something totally different for a Wrestling show. It’s got a good budget, it looks and feels like parts of my WCW memories.

It’s got new faces, and it’s got a whole Wrestling Legacy and Culture that rarely gets showcased to the level it’s capable of. That being Lucha Libre.

What is vastly different, is it’s a Television show, and it knows it.

Every single segment is beautifully shot, not always beautifully acted, it still has Wrestlers in it. But it’s Cinematic. It’s exciting.

It’s Storyline driven and already feels like it’s got an “arc” in place.

Also it made me like Chavo Guerrero! I’ve never liked Chavo Guerrero!

It’s got balls, it’s got direction, it’s got vision.

And above all else, it’s got Wrestling.

Matt Striker stole a good TNA quote “I dare you to tune into any other Wrestling promotion and find action like this”.

Hey TNA, now you need to compete with Lucha Underground, because Mundo and Puma, that’s the level the bar is now set at. And you are a long, long way from reaching it.

Something anyone who reads my ramblings will be familiar with is my love for Tigre Uno!

tigre uno fn

He is fantastic, and impresses me every single time I see him compete, which bugs me because TNA have done nothing to help him out.

Every time he has a match, or isn’t used, I moan about TNA using him better.

Hey, there is now a solution, which from now on, I shall use.

Release Tigre Uno.

Let him go to Lucha Underground and perform on that level, because he can, and that would be amazing.

Without turning this into a new blog about Lucha Underground, I will end it by saying I hope they keep fresh faces, I don’t want a lot of well known stars turning up. There are of course some exceptions. First and foremost – AJ Styles.

Global Force Wrestling is heating up too, and I’m excited to watch that. But right now, Lucha is doing something Wrestling shows have never been able to do.

And it’s Freakin Working!

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Impact Wrestling LogoTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 5/11/14

That might be the longest Intro to The Jobber Blogger in #133 issues.

It is tradition to start the show with a new Heavyweight Champion. Unless you’re the WWE and your Heavyweight Champions only compete 8 times a year.

But I digress.

Kurt Angle introduced Bobby Roode.

We’ve not had Roode as World Champion with his “Off the Chain” entrance theme, it matches.

Roode has always looked good with the World Title, and no that’s not taking it lightly, I think the TNA World Championship is a pretty bad design. I don’t hate it, I think it’s a little over the top and garish though. Not to mention it’s Too Big for most guys who have held it. It’s far too long in length and leaves the silly floppy strap at the back.

Yeah I’m picky. So what.

Roode now being World Champ actually feels like it matters. It’s not like Lashley has had a bad run at all, but Roode just seems to carry himself better. Or TNA least want to invest more time into him.

Saying that, AJ Styles taking the belt from Bully Ray and leaving TNA with it, that was far better. Well, only if you look past the fact that he never came back that is.

Tenay and Taz went on and on about how Lashley deserves a Re-match. Being such a dominant Champion. Which is laying the ground for a Face turn surely.

Because in my eyes, as a fan. Does Lashley deserve a Re-match? Me personally, I’d say yes, but that’s because I like him. Given that he was throwing out Low-Blows and Belt Shots last week, and that he’s won multiple times from the help from MVP and King. No, probably not.

What TNA is doing with Havok, is how Lashley should have been World Champ. It just didn’t quite work out that way.

MVP got on Roode’s case and offered up a Challenge of Roode vs. MVP for the World Championship. To which Angle said, and I quote “Roode, would you mind putting the Belt on the line?”

I get it, he’s words are not meant to be taken literal, but a few weeks back Angle himself told Lashley “it is your job do defend the belt whenever and wherever”. So in my eyes, “would you mind” doesn’t come into it.

Do I analyse this too much?

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Samoa Joe and Low Ki vs. The Hardyz – Tag-Team Tournament – Finals

As much as I like Low Ki’s abilities, his presence, his entrance and how he carries himself. I hate, Hate, his promos.

He sounds ridiculous.

I said this before, but when he is next to Joe, it’s the dumbest thing you can possibly hear. Joe is fluent in the Promo language. He gets it, he’s wordy, intimidating, electric, dark, whatever he needs to be. Low Ki sounds like a $50 budget Mortal Kombat voice actor.

The intro package to this match which bounced back from Joe’s speeches to Low Ki’s, was hilariously dreadful.

Aside from that opening rant, I only wrote down that I love Matt’s Side-Effect move.

I’ve loved it since he brought it into his arsenal, it’s an awesome manoeuvre.

Anyone who knows me, knows I love Tag-Team Wrestling, so this has been an awesome and surprising tournament.

Surprising because I actually didn’t think The Hardyz would win.

For me, they should win, because of who they are, what they’ve accomplished and how good they are as a team, especially given the experience factor along between them and their opponents.

But given that they’ve fought the Wolves before, then took part in the Tag-Team series and lost on all occasions, I just didn’t think they’d be getting through to Round three.

But here we are, so I am looking forward to it. I just feel with Storm’s involvement with Richards, it’s probably going to be a more sucky kind of story match.

Who knows.

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Samuel Shaw and Brittany took to the ring… to do… something.

I’ve never liked Shaw’s attempt of a beard, being so thin and fuzzy, it just looked… horrible. But eliminating it to have a creepy porn star moustache. Yup, that’s worse.

And it didn’t stop there, Brittany was swinging on it, pulling it around, then pulling his mouth around and licking it. I didn’t need to see that.

Gunner obviously got involved, and resorted straight to bad mouthing Shaw and digging up the old “Creepy Bastard” chant.

Funny how Gunner went from being all noble, to verbally attacking him over someone else’ influence. You’d think given Gunner’s background in the Military and experience dealing with problematic individuals, who’d do less to attack them, and more to help them.

But then, it is Wrestling.

I don’t really care where this goes. Shaw is better the crazier he is, and Brittany just helps that. Gunner will just drift on to remain Gunner. The only reason I’d be more interested in this development is if Anderson gets involved again.

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TNA’s got a Brand New Star.

See you later Chris Malendez and say Hello to Mahogany Simba!

tna simba

It’s true, I have no idea what his name is, so I just wrote down what sound as similar and also made me laugh a little.

I’m a professional don’t you know.

So far I’m not all that impressed. He’s a big Indian guy with Boobs, let’s see what happens when he gets in the ring.

tna-simba2Much Better

Suicide was a cool character, good look, nice colours, awesome mask, great entrance music. Then he became Manik, most of that carried over.

Now he’s heel – super shinny blue Manik, whose new mask lets him talk… and he walks up to people like Simba and say “Sup, my Dude”.

tna-manik-sup

Does he look like a guy who says “Sup, My Dude?”

Well that Characters gone down the drain. What’s intimidating about that.

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Bram and Magnus vs. Devon and Tommy Dreamer – Hardcore Rules

You know what, I’m not even going to bother really spending much time on this match.

I’m not a fan.

One thing I did like, was the ending, only because it actually surprised me. In terms of how it came to a close.

Bram went through a Table, which happened quicker than I thought, also I was fairly sure he was the only one who wouldn’t end up going through a Table.

Then the best bit being Magnus thrown into the corner which had a Bin wedged into the Ropes, he Leap Frogged back only to get a Low-Blow then shoved face first into the bin. I didn’t expect it, was good.

Dreamer hit a DDT right after and took the Win.

I think Bram will probably continue from this, hopefully, after he defeating Abyss so many times, losing to the likes of Dreamer and Devon seems unlikely.

Even though they might be the legends, Abyss’ onslaught is far deadlier.

So I would take a guess that “Magnus” will be the weak link in Bram’s defeat.

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Spud had a little segment, I’m not sold on Spud’s face turn yet. I don’t think he’s reach much potential as a Face. What made him so great was being a heel. I always find the kind of character Spud was, is completely gone when he’s a face. Now he’s willing to fight, and Wrestling, and doing honourable things. It was funnier when he didn’t. Now he’s just like everyone else? Only less impressive?

Don’t get me wrong though, I do like Spud.

His Speech was good. So good that it brought out EC3 and Tyrus. Now, I’m fairly sure Spud won’t be the one to defeat EC3, but he might. I would hate that too.

Either way, Tyrus back when he was Brodus mentioned that the “Funkasaurus” gimmick wasn’t quite what he had in mind. I liked it, personally. But he didn’t want to do that. So here in TNA, I’m guessing he’s currently being more like who he wants to be…

tna-ec3-tyrusShould someone tell him that’s a Woman’s top?… He’s got the necklace and everything.

EC3 slapped JB, EY got involved. blah blah blah sums it up nicely.

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Gail Kim vs. Havok – Knockouts Championship

I seem to be picking on Commentary and the rules between Good Guys and Bad Guys too much, but it’s never bugged me to this level before.

Gail came out fighting, but Havok took control. They fought up the Ramp where Gail kicked Havok closer and closer to the edge of the Stage, she then ran attempted to Kick her off the stage, Havok grabbed Gail’s foot then threw Gail off the stage instead. To which Tenay says “she threw her off the stage …. what a monster!”

Despite the fact Gail tried her best to Kick Havok off the stage mere seconds prior… but that’s fine. Because she’s a “Good Guy” and Havok beats her up.

What?

Winds me up!

wind up complain

Everyone rushes to Gail’s aid, but yet she continues! Usual crap.

What wasn’t usual was Havok throwing Gail from her shoulders face first onto the Steps. That looked painful… and awesome.

I was expecting Gail to pull off an upset, which I would have hated. But Havok kept toying with her, to which I fully expected Gail to take advantage of. Same old, same old.

Thankfully Havok caught Gail finally and dropped her with a Chokeslam for the win.

Good match. While I don’t really buy into Gail’s “injury” stuff, so therefore I wasn’t exactly rooting for her, but it was a good match. I just wanted Havok to win. I found Gail wasn’t constantly selling the abuse she took, which did stand out a little to me. But who cares.

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MVP vs. Bobby Roode – World Heavyweight Championship

You know how I started this with “Roode looks good with the Belt”. Where it doesn’t look good with his horrible crappy plastic pimp coat.

It looked good with his Robe. Why ditch the Robe?

Robe or nothing. Wear a T-shirt to the ring, that looks good too.

I have no idea why he thinks this coat is a good thing, it looks horrible.

Lashley and MVP had a little chat backstage, obviously Lashley is supposed to be annoyed that he’s not got a Re-match and MVP positioned himself into a match instead.

I’d rather it look like that yet Lashley came out and beat up Roode with MVP and it was all a plan to wear him down.

But no, MVP and Roode had a decent match which Roode won with a Roode Bomb. A straight forward, clean match.

I also still hate the name “Roode Bomb”.

Lashley then turned up and Speared Roode and left without helping MVP up. So yeah, I’m guessing their days are up.

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Although not a bad show – it’s a run of a mill type of show.

Still no word yet on a new TV Deal for TNA, and I hope things do get a little more interesting soon.

Either way, Boot Camp is entertaining and Lucha Underground has my attention.

Till then.

Dan Wilkinson

TotalNonstopRewind

TheJobberBlogger

TheSteelChair

StrikeTapandGrapple

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The Jobber Blogger #130 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 15/10/14

Jobber-Blogger

The Jobber Blogger

Are you proud of me? I would be, also I am be. And I am also me. It all makes sense like Lion King and the Circle of Life. Only it means reduction. Which wasn’t really mentioned all that much in the film itself, though I do remember a McDonalds toy that left little to the imagination.

lion king wrongI guess that’s more borderline bestiality than it is the Circle of Life.

Well what a way to start off issue #130 – no doubt shattering some dreams and hearts and eyes of the two people that appear to be reading this every week… or at least viewing the posts and liking them. Then not reading.

Does anyone read this?

Yes, I know you do Linda, hell I don’t re-read my ramblings anymore, look at that < spelling error.

I don’t know if there is one, I didn’t check, I just played it safe and assumed.

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It appears that I’ve lost my way already, that’s pretty good for a opening Paragraph / Segment isn’t it. Shows signs of things to come. I was going to say, Are you Proud of me?

It’s Friday, creeping up to 8pm and I’m writing the Jobber Blogger! Yes folks, I’m caught up and up to date!

Which is saying something given it’s crazy Writing week when the PPV’s hit, pretty much Watch Wrestling / Write Wrestling / Watch Wrestling / Write Wrestling / Watch Wrestling / Write Wrestling then I’m back on schedule.

So how was Impact after / before Bound for Glory? I’ll tell you how it was! Because that’s what I’ve chosen to do, whether you like it or not, whether you agree or not, whether you even read it or not, I will do it! This is The Jobber Blogger and I vow to do stuff!

bluelineImpact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 15/10/14

I know how frustrating it may be on the days I don’t get my Jobber Blogger Blog posts Jobbering it up on a Sunday night to follow the UK Airing of Impact on Challenge. I feel your frustration, it keeps me up at night, and sometimes Linda sends me hate mail.

(You’re being featured a lot this week Linda 😉 be proud!)

Currently I’m trying to get Minecraft on my PS Vita and it’s all gone to hell! Not that I expected it to just “work” though in the back of my mind I thought “I bet this will just work, despite the fact I’m expecting it not to”.

Long story short, it doesn’t work, I own the PS3 Retail Version, supposed to recognise my save and allow Cross-Buy, BUT IT DOESN’T WORK! Now I can’t even throw money at the problem and buy it, the whole worlds gone to the poop when you can’t get things for Money! If I can’t get things for Money, why do I work! Tell me that!

angrymanwork

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You’ll be pleased to know that Impact was pretty awesome this week! I was impressed and entertained. I’d like to clarify that Bound for Glory was a really good show, I might have blurted out some more “negative” feedback of the show, it was a good show. Didn’t live up to the name of “Bound for Glory”, but that was probably more to do with the fact that it didn’t have over half of the TNA talent I want to watch on a TNA show on the PPV. No grudge matches, no decent talent, no Championship belts. It was a TNA – One Night Only – vs. Wrestle1 show.

Nothing wrong with that. Just nothing “Glorious” about it either.

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Kurt Angle kicked off Impact with a whole segment to build up the Main Event the advertised last week with an announcement from Kurt Angle and a Video Package and a Mention.

So awesome to start the show by telling us what you already told us. If Sean O’ Haire were still alive, he’d be Senton’ing in his grave.

Big ups Sean O’ Haire, I am a fan. Also “I’m not going to tell you what you already know”. It was his catch phrase with the re-branded Spider Web look and awesome Entrance Music. It took place before his firing.

So… there you have it.

seano

Kurt called out Lashley, which I still kind of forget he’s the Champ, Lashley has been a good Champ though, for the times I remembered it. The second Impact kicked off it felt like TNA again, and I like Lashley a lot in the Title Picture.

Kurt seemed rather miffed that Lashley declined Roode’s Challenge for another shot at the World Championship.

Shall I go into why this annoys me? I shall!

Kurt claimed that being the World Heavyweight Champion means he needs to defend the belt whenever and wherever. Never heard of that before, it’s not his duty.

More to the point Kurt was annoyed at MVP last week for the “mess” he made and how dare he book his own matches, he’s not in charge. Despite the fact Kurt didn’t stop any of it. Now he’s annoyed at Lashley for getting involved in the Match Kurt didn’t want to take place in the first place with a stipulation he didn’t agree with, agree to, nor want to happen.

Yup, I have no idea why he was annoyed, aside from the fact that the Script says as much.

Further to the point, surely Bobby Roode who earned a shot AND LOST does not deserve to get a re-match on the basis that “I was pretty good before I lost” I don’t remember that being a “I’ve earned this” way of life.

And the final point, Surely Roode asking for another shot should annoy Kurt just as much as MVP making a match did, because Roode would have done the exact same thing. Only he would have done it with the World Championship on the line, despite the fact he already had his opportunity and Lost!

End of. Kurt makes no sense.

I’m not really that bothered, but please, just pay attention to what you Write. This is like Star Trek getting their Delorean stuck in a Worm Hole where Johnny Five accidently clicked on Quantum Leap.

startreknonsense

It Just Don’t Make Sense!

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Madison Rayne vs. Havok – Knockouts Championship

Madison is drifting on down the Heel lake once more, but this time it’s a “why wouldn’t I have done that?” rather than just being a full blown Heel. She’s the Heel people don’t like because she did the smart thing rather than the Honourable thing.

But as she said, every Knockout for herself, why would she risk injury at the hands of Havok before her Championship match to save Taryn from taking a bump. Not worth it.

Also props to Madison, I like her new Entrance, with her head down then bringing the Camera Man to go behind her and follow her down the ramp. I like that. Very cinematic.

Now I had quite the rant about Velvet putting up a good fight against Havok at Bound for Glory, I suppose in reality, this match took place first, so Velvet could have been trying to top it. Which is fair enough.

Madison also put up quite the fight against Havok, though Havok seemed far more dominant against Madison than she did against Velvet. Which doesn’t make sense. Also for Velvet as a Heel, it makes less sense for her to be “full of heart” and the underdog. Which on the flip side, is a nice thing about Madison. She’s drifting toward being a Heel, but currently she’s still a face, so she went to battle by herself and put up a good fight, not backing down.

Though I did start to question the physical health of Earl Hebner, he’s not getting any younger…. I don’t think, I don’t know his medical history, or in fact his age.

But given he works on a general Human life scale, then he’s getting older. It seemed he dosed off during this match, or at least tried to squeeze in a sneaky Nap during a pin-count.

hebnersleep

He could have been selling a kick-out though I suppose, but I think chances are he nodded off.

I joke. I kid. I can’t write anything funny….. also I laughed a bit.

Havok lifted up Madison and dropped her with the Chokeslam for the Win.

Though actually, Havok’s Chokeslam is known as the “Harlot Slayer!”

Which sounds like a Spider-Man Villain who hunts prostitutes… I like it.

harlot slayer

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Magnus vs. Matt Hardy

This Makes Me Happy.

Yes, like most, some of, perhaps a couple of people, I was wondering on the future of Matt in TNA.

I know he’s not signed, this is more of a per-appearance deal, but now that the Tag-Title Series has wrapped, I wasn’t sure where he would go.

Then he popped up backstage in a promo where Magnus interrupted. Yup, it’s not really that relevant, “you’re not as good as your Brother” / “your jealous of your friend”, usual crap.

Again, as someone who is a life-long fan of the Hardyz, I can’t tell you how happy I am to see Matt in TNA, in a Singles Match, where he is “himself”.

I was looking forward to his first run, and we all know that didn’t turn out so well. So thank you TNA for giving him a chance to redeem himself. Matt’s a great talent, and is capable of a lot.

As someone who is a Fan of Magnus, but never really fully sold on Magnus, I am pleased to admit he seemed more like himself and also far better than I remember.

I literally had no idea what to expect when Magnus lifted Matt into the Power-bomb position, I thought Matt would probably do the usual punch to the face, land on his feet type of ordeal. Then I thought Magnus would just ram him back first into the Turnbuckle.

I did not expect Magnus to ram him into the Turnbuckle then actually Power-Bomb Matt onto the Ring Apron.

I don’t recall seeing that, and it looked nasty. – Nasty and cool.

The match came to an end when Matt caught Magnus’ mid dive from the Second Rope with a Twist of Fate.

The crowd seemed to have a mixed reaction to Matt’s move, I suppose it’s a fairly common thing to see now, specially that the traditional Cutter has come into play a lot recently by a lot of guys. Also I miss Matt taking his time with the Twist of Fate, seems to be more rushed, I liked the Taunt and Scream before the move.

Still, Matt’s in TNA and I love it! Hardyz vs. Bram and Magnus?

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DJZ, Jesse and Angelina Love (w/ Velvet Sky) vs. Knux, Crazy Steve and Rebel

I am very happy that DJZ has the current look he does, it’s a big improvement of where he used to be pre-Bromans.

However I miss the DJ deck and annoying horn. I loved that during matches! Do more of it! All the time!

That makes sense right?

Not sure on the partnership of the Bromans and The Beautiful People. Bro’s meet Rock chicks, doesn’t seem to match.

Don’t hate it though.

Above all else, this match is best for one reason, Crazy Steve. It seems TNA are impressed with his popularity because he’s being used more and more, not only that, but rather than the being the crazy guy who doesn’t fight a lot, even lost his matches because he’s out of control and the first person to be eliminated from other bouts.

He put on a great outing in this match and displayed how much of a Credible wrestler he is without breaking or losing any aspect of his Character.

Also he won the match. Good things seem to be in his future, I think he’s got a Gimmick that can last, and transform when required.

Zema kept patting Rebel’s “rear” till Knux took him out, Steve going in for the kiss on Angelina, when Jesse broke it up with a press slam. Steve landed on his feet, jumped to the Second Rope, hit a Tornado DDT for the win.

crazy steve

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Tyrus vs. Shark Boy

You know, I think I preferred the wrong thing out of this match.

I can say that I was not expecting “Tyrus” – Brodus Clay to be EC3’s new Bodyguard. Also, surely Rocktsar Spud was not “employed” to be EC3’s Bodyguard. Just saying.

Still a very good and pleasant surprise, no idea if he’s sticking around in TNA, or if he’s doing a Gene Snitsky.

I could also mention Big E, but “doing a Gene Snitsky” is far funnier as a saying. That should be used… Taz you listening?

Everyone Tweet that at Taz!

doing a gene snitskyt

Either way, whether he sticks around or not, they will eventually end up fighting, it just happens, even if I don’t want it to.

TNA – Breaking the mould.

EC3 had a big old Rant about being undefeated and how he’s defeated every TNA Hall of Famer. Devon stepped up then got attacked by Bram. Which is far more interesting than having EC3 fight Devon.

So in the end, EC3 revealed he had booked Tyrus a match against TNA Legend Shark Boy.

I’ve never been a huge Shark Boy fan, but the more I think about his gimmick, the more I like it. Now having him miss his entrance and run a video backstage where they find him out of shape on a sofa stuffing Doughnuts into his Mask, I love it!

Hence what I mean, I think I was more impressed and intrigued by Shark Boy’s decent into physics defying obesity than I was the debut of Tyrus.

…… Tyrus won.

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Eric Young vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode – Four Way Elimination #1 Number One Contender Match – World Heavyweight Championship

Now anyone who knows me and reads this, knows I love any kind of Elimination Match. I Love em!

So I was happy.

Here is something I wasn’t expecting, I really miss Jeff Hardy being in the Main Events. Now again, big Hardy fan, but I can see why he isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. I never disliked him as Champ, just you know, went a long with it. However now, after a good period of him not being in the Main Events as a main stay, I miss it.

I’ve always said Bobby Roode is the best World Heavyweight Champion of recent memory, least my favourite.

I don’t know if I’m ready for this Roode to be Champion. I enjoyed Heel Roode. I always enjoy Heel Wrestlers more, they tend to have longer Championship reigns. I feel a Heel can be a main stay, without really needing to do anything. You never “need” to turn them Face, only because your good guys are thinning out or to do something different. Heel’s tend to gain momentum on the card and with the fans. Faces decrease, and usually decrease quickly.

Currently should Roode be the Champ again, in my mind I see a good few Months run, till he ends up going against James Storm and his Revolution, where pay-back is a (you know what) and Storm gets the proper Title Run he deserves as the top heel on the show.

All four of these guys put on a great main event, timing was slightly off as EY and Hardy were setting up for simultaneous “Moonsault’s and Swanton’s” a good Album title incidentally.

moonsaultsandswantons

EY missed with the Moonsault, Jeff missed with the Swanton then both were dropped with the Roode Bomb and Brain Buster respectively then eliminated.

Roode and Aries tore it down as you’d expect, in the end Roode caught Aries from his Corner Drop-Kick and delivered a Roode Bomb to pick up the win.

All four of them then stood in the ring displaying mutual respect.

I still find it funny that Angle chose the Four Guys who Lost against Lashley, to then challenge him again.

You’d think someone else would have a shot, who perhaps hasn’t been defeated already. Not arguing. Just stating.

blueline

Good show, looking forward to Next Week’s Impact, also the Wolves announced a 8-Team Tag-Tournament to find their next challenges. Seems like a long process, but looking forward to that too!

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

TotalNonstopRewind

TheJobberBlogger

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THE JOBBER BLOGGER #126 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 24/9/14

Jobber-Blogger

The Jobber Blogger

I think this is the first Jobber Blogger in some time that has been late, but guess what people, I’ve been busy! So it does happen.

I myself only managed to watch Impact last night, and though I did think about attempting the second “Watch and Write” issue, I just wanted to take it easy and relax!

Probably a good choice, as it has calmed my initial rage from watching Impact, but the more I think about it, the more it’s coming back! Isn’t that exciting!? Yes it is!

Impact Wrestling LogoTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 24/9/14

bluelineSo TNA is Total Nonstop Mess right about now. Everything is in crazy land, I don’t know if everyone who reads this is aware, but I shall let you in on what is happening without spoiling anything.

TNA have changed the landscape drastically, yes this concerns all of their Championships, the reason because they don’t have many guys left on Contract, least not a long term contract. Long term being any point to Summer of 2015, which is only a short window as it is.

So they have put the belts on those who are sticking around till at least then, which gives them some wiggle room should people decided to leave TNA rather than do the Pay-By-Appearance method.

I get it, current problems, no TV deal, everything is up in the air. But what this means, is that come Bound for Glory – most of the people you want to watch on the Show, and the matches with the Belts to be defended, yup, that won’t be happening.

Apparently the Japanese audience will be greatly offended and confused should they turn up to Bound for Glory without knowing what’s happened and everything won’t make sense.

TNA have ramped up their TV Tapings to cover to the end of the year I believe, or least will do by the time they get to Bound for Glory. Which means the BIGGEST PPV of the Year, the first time it’s taking place out of the United States, will feature no big matches, no big championship matches and be completely out of sync to what you watched on Television.

Which does beg the question – what’s the point.

This will be like a Special PPV or a “One night Only” TNA in Japan PPV rather than Bound for Glory.

I think they have announced some titles will be defended, I didn’t read, I don’t want to know the spoilers.

This brings us to the bigger problem, 2 Months worth of Impact Tapings packed with “Filler” moments and mainly Video Packages.

Which makes this week’s Impact the first of many to come, and I hereby announce it the start of TNF – Total Nonstop Filler.

I suddenly miss Hogan.

Hulkisenseblueline

MVP vs. Low Ki

“Kurt Angle” had this great idea of a Gold Rush tournament. Now, I actually like the idea, I don’t like how it was tacked on.

It’s a shame this week’s Episode felt like a Televised House Show, because the Matches were actually excellent.

What I didn’t like was sitting through Video Packages of Last Week, then a stupidly long Video of MVP, then MVP taking a full length entrance, plus a Promo.

Low Ki then got his entrance, then a Video Package of Low Ki – yes the same one we saw recently. Then the match, which took 7 mins to get to.

If I wasn’t a committed TNA fan, I would have turned it off by now.

On the plus side, we had MVP vs. Low Ki. I don’t dislike MVP but I certainly don’t see this “massive potential” in the guy either. I think next to Low Ki he quickly looks a bit basic.

What I did like was MVP challenging Low Ki to the chops, which he delivered, to the point of actually making his Chest Bleed.

Low Ki had an impressive outing but MVP got the win with his “Drive By” kick.

Despite what I might have just said about the two guys, I do think MVP taking the win is the right call.

MVP - Sheep in Wolf clothing

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Robbie E vs. Tajiri

Robbie E had one of the very few backstage segments this week as he bragged out “dating” Velvet Sky and then being on the Amazing Race with Brooke, who we haven’t seen in Months, who he really is Dating. So I hope Brooke comes back and they let her and Robbie be an on air couple, I’m guessing the Amazing Race is a big deal? I don’t even know what it is.

I like Robbie E, I like him a lot, always have. I think he’s good at playing the joker, but he’s actually a very talented Wrestler and entertainer, so i was pleased to see him hold his own against Tajiri.

I also take back what I said about Tajiri, guy is impressive and very much on point. I can’t seem to take him seriously though. I almost look at him as if he’s not a real Wrestler, but I do think that’s because he was portrayed badly in the WWE for so many years.

Tajiri hit the Mist to the face of Robbie E and followed it up with a nice kick to the head for the Win.

Doubt Tajiri is sticking around much after BFG, but I’d like to see The Bromans be used a lot more, they are sticking around and they are good Talents.

bluelineAustin Aries vs. Knux

This was a match I didn’t expect to be going into my Match of the Year nominees. But hey, a Wrestling match is about great Wrestling, great crowd interaction and to mix them both together, you create the magic that is – emotion.

Aries and Knux put on a great showing and I don’t think I’ve ever seen Knux perform the way he did when he was against Aries. I think Knux is due some screen time, as is The Menagerie, I do like them and I freakin love Crazy Steve!

Aries muscled Knux up and dropped him with the Brain Buster for the win , so seriously, if you didn’t watch this match, watch this match!

It’s just yet another example that Austin Aries is the absolute best, no matter who he works with, you’re getting something special. He is literally as Legit as they come – and that’s why people love him. As long as he’s on the Payroll – he should be in the Main Events – that simple.

AustinAriesthebest

bluelineMagnus vs. Mr. Anderson

After dragging Magnus through some crap he didn’t need, it finally felt like Magnus was back to his “old self” again.

Though I do think he’s maybe a little dull at times.

Which means on the flip side – Anderson is far from Dull, if only at times lacking motivation, or least comes across that way.

Anderson is a guy who has great potential, he just needs support and a platform to do what he does best, and that’s be himself.

When he came back and had issues with Bully and Dixie – that felt exciting, the start of something new! But it didn’t last, they didn’t build it. I fully believe Anderson could be the key to something quite different, or if not vastly “different” from what we’ve seen, he certainly could be the key to something sorely lacking.

Another good solid match which saw a rather good counter into the Mic Check – which I still think is a naff move.

gaymagnus

bluelineAbyss vs. Samuel Shaw

Abyss is finally looking better. I’m not a big fan of his new attire and mask, the Coat is alright, but now he’s hair come back a bit longer and he’s got a good beard going on – it suits the look.

I didn’t really get into his newer Theme Song – but thinking about it, that Theme might suit this current look better than his traditional one.

I’m just hoping Abyss gets another revamp and used stronger. I think it’s the same comment for most of the Roster – So much potential, just never used.

I like the pairing between Abyss and Shaw and that might even unfold in a good development down the line (hopefully).

Shaw managed to hit in a sneaky Chair Shot but fell victim to the Blackhole Slam right away and Abyss took the win.Abyss Phone blueline

Austin Aries vs. MVP vs. Tajiri vs. Abyss vs. Mr. Anderson

This feels like a Filler Jobber Blogger. Again, it’s not like this was a “BAD” show, it had some awesome matches. It just lacked the atmosphere and planning, it felt rushed and “it’ll do” to fill a week.

I honestly hope that they don’t do this for every week from now till January.

If they had put a little more into this show and produced it better it would have been fantastic with these matches that really bounced out at you.

It just didn’t take off as a show, the crowd seemed to have thinned out toward the end, which I’m not means they taped the matches at different shows, or literally people just left.

But as someone who has sat through multiple TV Tapings, it does wear a little thin.

It just felt like a house show.

Not much more to say about this match, I think if this was promoted a little better and produced a lot better, the tournament would have been really engaging.

I love tournaments.

Least it all ended in a great outcome- Austin Aries.

Aries takes the Win of this Gold Rush tournament and then next week he gets to chose what Title he wants to Challenge for.

interestingangle

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Also in the show they filled it out with a Ladder match recap, a billed World Title Fall out which was the exact same Video Package they ran at the top of the show that just highlighted the main event. So it wasn’t a fall out, it was a clip reel.

To say this was the very last show of their “amazing” Summer in the City, why didn’t they run Video Packages of all the awesome moments that took place during the tapings in New York.

Dixie going through a Table, the World title matches, the Tag-Team Championship Series, Chris Malendez, Havok, lots and lots of material that could have made the show feel more meaningful.

Next week we finally get a new setting as TNA goes back to Pennsylvania.

Honestly, I miss the Impact Zone, I miss the stage, I miss the fireworks, I miss the production level.

Sure it was filled with Holiday goers and old people who obviously took a wrong turn, but it was special, it was “impactful”, it was TNA.

To think nearly 4 years ago TNA was about to explode, and it did for a short time. Since then it’s been going downhill, and now 4 years later, it seems to be falling apart.

Long Live TNA!

Here’s to a Revival in 2015!

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

TotalNonstopRewind

TheJobberBlogger

TheSteelChair

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The Jobber Blogger #122 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 27/8/14

Jobber-Blogger

The Jobber Blogger

Well it’s 8:30pm, Sunday the 31st of August, and I’m knackered.

It’s my second day off after my lovely 10 day stint at work, and I think it’s just finally hit me.

Having a nice nap during the day seems to have made things all the worse! But, here we are!

Quick shout out goes to the Cage Amateurs UK team of Jon and Dan, not only for posting up my ramblings for as long as they have, but just for them being awesome guys and sending me a free t-shirt!

Yes, a picture might follow! Just not right now!

bluelineTNA talk time, and it’s quite easy to say that TNA is Getting Wild!!! No, don’t get ahead of yourselves, it’s only getting wild because they’ve been offered a TV Deal by the Discovery Channel, not a bad idea, linking EY’s Off the Hook show with TNA. However the budget they will give TNA will drastically change their product, so it’s a last resort I believe.

Apparently Netflix forked out some ridiculous fee for the rights to some TV show I forgot the name of. That’s a pretty damn good budget. I still think the Online Streaming Market is a good market to get into. I suppose you can say that the WWE Network is under performing. Though I would bet the vast majority of their audience and TNA’s have Netflix, or a product similar. Put it on there, worldwide, no pesky TV limitations, try Live shows? Small extra charge for a PPV, and put out the show at the same time, World Wide. Awesome idea!

I’m sure there’s a lot more to it than that and I have no idea about anything.

Impact Wrestling Logo

blueline TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 27/8/14

Kurt kicked off the show by standing up in the crowd of the New York fans. Maybe too close to the fans… especially this guy

kurt fan love

I did find it funny that the show went all “Wrestling” quickly, and I mean that in terms of being a typical Wrestling talking match, rather than actually Wrestling.

MVP, Lashley and King hit the ring and poor Kurt just stood next to those fans for quite some time saying nothing…. doing nothing. It’s like they forgot he was there. And also how I used to feel when standing near people. End up sort of in a group, just standing there… too embarrassed to walk away, then people I didn’t know would turn up, people I did know left… and I was just stuck, standing near people I didn’t know, starring at them whilst they talked about crap I had no interest in. Ahh, to be shy again.

Waste of my frickin’ time!

Thankfully MVP was back on form at actually being good on the mic, then for no reason, At All, Tommy Dreamer got involved.

Tommy Dreamer, who has no relevance to this situation was put in this situation. My god! I’ve never noticed how much of a whiney git Dreamer is. Has it always been his “thing” to be a suck up?

Why does he need to get involved in everything and tell people how good they are? How much better they can be. I don’t remember him doing this before?

dreamer loveDreamer who took it upon himself to tell Fortune some years ago how good they all were, then got his ass kicked. He recently came out to tell Dixie how lovely she is, and got hit in the nuts. Now he’s come out to tell MVP, King and Lashley at how far they’ve fallen, to once again get his ass kicked.

Isn’t he supposed to be a talk from the heart in an edgy kind of way. This is just pathetic. Also hilarious. If it’s meant to be serious, then it’s a terrible characteristic. However, having Dreamer tell everyone how lovely they are and he getting beaten up for it, I’m down with that.

bluelineLashley vs. Dreamer – Street Fight

So here’s the problem, and it’s called Lashley vs. Dreamer.

Dreamer has always been the guy who looks like he least belongs in a ring. That’s not to say he can’t wrestle or perform. He just doesn’t look like a Wrestler. He looks like a crew guy who got caught up in something.

Whereas Lashley is arguably the most well built Professional Wrestler going.

I supposed that’s the dynamic of this particular booking.

Lashley took a few good shots from the weapons, but he kept it a Wrestling match and that is how he defeated Dreamer and thankfully it wasn’t too much of a struggle for him.

See they’re building Lashley well now, making him the Destroyer, a true Wrestler, who can’t be beat. Aside from the fact he’s won two of his toughest matches because they made an error, rather than his superiority, that’s the only downside.

bluelineSo the new Knockout – Havok is making her debut next week. Not sure if everyone knew it was a Knockout yet?

Either way, looking forward to it, she looks like a Female Bane….. I’m judging that purely on the mask, no idea what she actually looks like. (Just to cover my tracks on what could have been an insult!) Yay!

Lei'D BanebluelineGunner was hanging out in his Room with Samuel Shaw. Yup, it gets weirder believe it or not.

This was one of those strange to place Wrestling backstage segments again. Because it’s meant to look like a “scene” yet it’s Wrestling, which is based in reality, so there is obviously a Camera Man in the room.

It’s a weird mix, top it off with some bad acting, and well, it’s Wrestling I guess?

Shaw pretended to be drawing, then decided to wear Gunner’s military jacket and salute him.

I’m guessing we’re supposed to see that either Shaw IS crazy, or he’s developing a kind of affection for Gunner.

If this thing turned into a Gay storyline, I think it would catch people off guard. I’d find it funny, so why not. Can’t be any worse than Claire Lynch.

bluelineMadison Rayne vs. Taryn Terrell – #1 Number Contenders – Knockouts Championship

Whilst on the topic of the Knockouts, it appears that Velvet might be distancing herself from TNA. Bully’s contract is now up, so he’s effectively left the company, though he will be at Bound for Glory for the Hall of Fame.

I’m still hopeful Bully isn’t done with TNA. But this apparent relationship between Bully and Velvet, one would imagine that her distancing herself could also be in part due to his departure.

See, this wasn’t a bad match. Taryn is good, she’s good at the more unusual things you wouldn’t see a Knockout doing. The crazy things.

But she’s not that technically good either, though miles better than Velvet… but that’s another story.

I’m easily more of a Madison fan, but whatever, there’s still something about Taryn that just doesn’t seem to “click” as a full package.

What was interesting was Madison’s attempt at cheating, putting her feet on the Ropes. Maybe they think there aren’t enough Heel Knockouts, perhaps they think Madison works better as a heel?

I’m open to her being in the Beautiful People again, hopefully Velvet does stick around, if she goes I don’t think Angelina would be far behind her. That would suck.

But hey, let’s stay on topic, Taryn won. Now she’s off to face Gail Kim for the Knockouts Championship, and guess what, she shouldn’t win.

But she might…

bluelineHomicide, DJ Z, Manik vs. Tigre Uno, Crazy Steve and Low Ki

Random but awesome 6-man X-Division Tag.

Interesting pairing between all of these guys too, given that DJ Z is the only real Heel.

Again, the latter part of Low Ki’s entrance was the only one Televised, so quite obvious who is getting put over.

Uno took his time to shine once more, and he is just excellent! Hopefully he will be put in a match again soon, where he isn’t just “there” to fill in the gaps. Uno vs. Low Ki, I’d like to see that.

Awesome, Fast Paced, Excellent match! Low Ki, picked up the win.

bluelineBobby Roode and Eric Young had one of those “Respect Talks” to each other for their match next week to determine the Number One Contender.

I love how this was played off as a big deal, and struggle to decide the correct action. Despite this was the most obvious course of action, with a Triple Threat not being out of the question either.

Sure, EY and Roode have a history, but it’s not like a really well documented on screen Friendship, aside from their time in Team Canada all of those years ago.

Don’t think they really need to let them telling each other how much they like one another, but it didn’t not work either. Them getting fired up about tearing the Roof Down next week seemed to get a big pop, and no doubt nice Video Footage.

Here’s the thing though, and it gets sticky.

Eric Young defeated Bobby Roode twice, yup, TWICE! To retain the World Championship.

And EY has never been able to defeat Bobby Lashley, at all, or even get close.

Yet Roode seems like the most legit guy to challenge Lashley, and he’s being billed as that. But on paper, Roode couldn’t beat EY, so therefore Roode shouldn’t be able to beat Lashley (as far as logic goes). And EY has been defeated by Lashley so many times, that he’s not going to stand a chance.

So what’s the point? Unless they do swing a Triple Threat. Either way, I’d like Lashley to keep the belt. I’ve wanted Storm on top for some time now, and I’m into this idea of him forming a Revolution, he’d be a good figure head. So my perfect idea, is Lashley remains dominant, till the onslaught of Storm and his Revolution. Heel on Heel.

I like that idea.

bluelineEthan Carter the Third vs. Rhino

Remember that guy I made fun of in the crowd a few weeks back? No… well up yours!

shyguy^ This guy. Yup, even TNA are mocking him now, gave him some more screen time and Taz and Tenay burst out laughing at the poor guy. I found it funny.

creepy fan 2Something else I found rather funny, was when Tenay and Taz were talking about Dixie’s interview from last week, Taz making some comment about how Mike should have asked her something. Tenay responded saying it must have got edited out, to which Taz brilliantly replied “I thought they didn’t edit anything on this show”. Who knows if that was scripted, but Impact is so badly and poorly edited at times, that I enjoyed this comment.

I also liked how Taz and Tenay had to tell Rhino’s story during this match to try and make you think he’s the good guy. His alliance with EC3 and Dixie was only about money, and they were never friends.

Yup, you want people to be against EC3 and on Rhino’s side, well apart from the fact Rhino has some history people will latch onto, Rhino does look like an idiot in all of this.

So yeah, I routed for EC3, and much to my enjoyment he got himself a Chair and beat the high holy hell out of Rhino with it. To the point where Spud told him to Calm Down.

I enjoyed this, it makes me like EC3, and I’m against Rhino throughout this crappy storyline, so I enjoyed that more.

bluelineThe Great Sanada vs. Austin Aries

Storm came out to introduce Sanada, talk about his Revolution and that Sanada is the “first of many”. So I am liking the idea. Again, Storm being on a losing streak doesn’t exactly make him a good mentor.

Sanada debuted his new look, which is also The Great Muta’s old look. Not very original of Storm really.

I did quite like it though. What I appreciated more is that Sanada is supposed to be the one put over, but he didn’t bury Aries.

Aries was as legit as ever, but Sanada was playing dirty and Storm was getting involved, so I’m cool with Aries taking the fall.

I particularly liked Sanada’s counter to the Brain Buster by Biting Aries’ hand. “Biting” is obviously used a fair bit in Wrestling, but to have Sanada with his arms out, Aries’ hand in mouth, as he pulled himself out of the hold. Nice touch.

In the end though Storm shook the ropes to make Aries fall from the top, Sanada sprayed the mist in his face then finished him off with a Superkick for the win.

I look forward to where this goes, and in a lot of ways this felt like old wrestling. Having a manager out there, debuting his new talent, trying to put him over. I don’t know why, but the appearance helped too, I liked it. I look forward to where this leads and hope Storm actually brings more people into this revolution.

bluelineChris Malendez had his Debut, least in appearance.

It’s a weird one. I get why he’s impressive, I get why it’s an amazing thing to achieve, I get why he’s respected. I just don’t see longevity in his career.

I honestly feel TNA’s signing of an “American Hero” is more for publicity than anything else. I liked the story of Anderson putting him in touch with Bully and Devon. But then Bully and Devon were called the “best trainers” and I think Rob Terry came from their school, either way Jesse Neal did, and he sucked.

Not to mention he was in the Marines, Navy? I don’t think he got free training.

I don’t mean this to sound harsh, but the idea of a one legged Wrestler doesn’t interest me, if anything I find it off putting. It is fantastic to be able to get where he is, but there will always be a limit of what he can do, always.

Zack Gowen is obviously the comparison, and I hated him. It bugs me to this day that his only win, ONLY WIN, was against Matt Hardy. That should never have happened. EVER!

bluelineTeam 3D vs. The Hardyz vs. The Wolves – Match 1

Honestly, I put no notes. Well, I wrote down that Team 3D won, and that the match was awesome.

This is what I will say, this match was fantastic! We knew it would be.

There isn’t anything I can really say to do it justice, just watch it.

However, as good as this match was, I didn’t put it forward for a Match of the Year Nomination.

Now, why didn’t I do that?

Two reasons, number one, this match though special, isn’t as special as the first two matches between Hardyz and the Wolves, and Hardyz vs. Team 3D.

Number two, and this is the main reason, this was Match Number 1, these are going to get crazy good, I know it. So this won’t be the best, and the best, will be the best, and then that will be put forward I’m sure.

I love Tag-Team Wrestling!

 

blueline

Good show, no more major news regarding TNA currently, Manik has re-signed, so that’s good.

Till next time!

Dan Wilkinson

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www.TheJobberBlogger.wordpress.com

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The Jobber Blogger #119 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 7/8/14

Jobber Blogger logo2

Well, the infamous One Hundred and Nineteen issue of The Jobber Blogger! It’s taken a while to get this up and running.

Seems fate is against me this week, or at least timing, but it has helped me to “adapt”. Yes, in a string of “firsts” I’m going for something I’ve decided to call “Write’N Watch”.

Yup, WNW, or wNw for those nWo fans out there (salutes), I haven’t even seen Impact yet, so it’s all loaded up ready for me to breeze through and enjoy, and I shall make notes of each segment as usual, then jump across and get typing. Time is of the most import, and also time is the issue. Also power cuts.

A string of Birthdays, break-downs and power-cuts (oh my!) later, and it seems I’m ready to roll!

See you after the first segment!

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 7/8/14

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Bram vs. Abyss – Monsters Ball

So yes, TNA kicks off with a Monsters Ball match, which is a pretty decent way to start a show where your Boss goes through a Table.

It’s all ECW based folks, and that kinda sucks. But Monsters Ball has its place within TNA, and thankfully so does Abyss.

What is a little jarring is how much they are plugging Dixie going through a Table, which is also the Intro Video package to this show, right after Bully and Dreamer talk about it (before it happens), making a promise. Then the video package saying it does happen, then Taz and Tenay asking the question “will it?”

I’m confused in this time-travelling plug of a show.

time travelSpeaking of Whaa, I like Bram. I’ve said it multiple times, but I like his image, music and his intensity.

Intensity is exactly what this match was, Abyss brought Janice into the match, but did the old “swing and a miss” into the Turnbuckle. That’s when Bram grabbed a Chair and took a swing, but Abyss elbowed it back into Bram. I only mention this because Bram’s selling of the elbow to the chair to his face, was excellent! I enjoy to watch people fall to the floor convincingly in a fake manor.

Also this guy

shyguy

Also totally got you on The Jobber Blogger! I’ll MAKE YOU FAMOUS!

To the Seven people that might consider reading it.

Bram went back first from a choke slam onto the Thumbtacks (I don’t remember it looking that nasty before). In the end though, Magnus got involved stealing Janice from Abyss, Bram speared Abyss through the Barbed Wire board, then hit Abyss in the stomach with Janice and took the win.

Interesting that Bram has defeated Abyss again in a Monsters Ball match. Interesting indeed.

Also Bram took Janice with him after winning the match, fairly sure this is leading somewhere. If it’s anything like poor Dixie, then Bram will have to eat a good shot from Janice sooner or later.

Back to the show!

blueline

It feels like I forgot to come back and Write the rest of this. As it turns out. I didn’t.

MVP, Kenny King and of course Bobby Lashley took to the ring. Which is neat, it really does feel these three have taken a back seat, despite Lashley being the World Champion.

So it is nice for them to step up and get a moment to talk, even if it’s a little thin.

Though it is nice to see MVP floating around, I still don’t know where to place him in the company anymore, but once he’s fully back to being healed, either legitimately or storyline, we might have a better idea to see where he goes. Hopefully against Austin Aries.

On the plus side, MVP did make me chuckle whilst describing Aries’ recent World Championship match from last week, and I quote:

a double air linesI don’t know what it is about Wrestlers and their Ass obsession. Right on queue of “who else is there for Lashley to beat” out comes Bobby Roode. Who incidentally had this to say about MVP:

“I’m not out here to talk to your Ass!”

Would be a totally different show if he was… o.O

Fairly obvious Roode would be next in line for a shot at Lashley, though I wouldn’t be surprised if it took him a few months to get a Fair match, at Bound for Glory.

But if I’m honest, right now, I want Lashley to win. I miss having long Championship reigns, and they come with someone who is legit. TNA doesn’t have anyone who fits the mould of a undefeated World Champion better than Bobby Lashley.

Kenny King went on the attack with MVP to follow, which brought our Eric Young and Austin Aries. So there you have it…

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The Bromans vs. Mr. Anderson, Gunner and Samuel Shaw

It was actually nice to see the return of this flimsy “when it fits in” storyline. Also The Bromans, I do like the Bromans.

But let’s not beat it around the bush, this match only took place to further the storyline between Anderson, Shaw and Gunner. As plainly obvious from this gem of an entrance

anderson this freakin guy

Anderson wouldn’t tag Shaw, and in the end pushed him out of the way to take the Tag for himself from Gunner, of course leading to Shaw “coming to the rescue” but Anderson got caught with a Roll-Up, and was pinned. Blaming Shaw, etc etc.

Least it’s better… and a lot worse, then where Shaw was before. I suppose his whole Creepy Bastard idea was rather neat, and the creepy moments with Christy.

Still think Gunner needs a bit of a boost.

I’m starting to think I’m just writing what you already saw, and then in that case… why!?

I would upload a Face Palm picture.. but I really don’t have the effort.

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Team EC3 vs. Team Bully Ray – 8-Man Hardcore Match

I forget what the actual title for this match was.

But hey, it was pretty damn good! I’m not one for getting all into ECW revival territory… again, but it is cool when it’s done right. Thankfully it was done right. Shame it keeps getting brought up rather than moved on from, but they all have their connections to TNA anyway, so it does fit.

No idea if Snitsky and Ryclon are going to be hanging around now, same goes for Rhino and Dreamer. Be nice to see Rhino stick around, maybe even Dreamer. Who knows. It was short lived the first time Dreamer got involved and somewhat uneventful, but I’m glad he’s kept in touch and works behind the scenes.

Also Al Snow made an appearance, which usually isn’t that spectacular, but having the audience with their “heads” going crazy, is pretty damn cool, so I’ll give him that. His spring-board moonsault to the floor however, didn’t seem quite as impressive, but that is mainly due to the fact it looked like if he was actually caught, he would have plummeted on top of his head.

Crazy fast paced Hardcore match, and it was awesome. Also how cool is the 3D. When it’s done right and comes out of nowhere, it’s a super cool Tag-Team move. Glad Devon is back, nice to see Team 3D at work again, and a good choice for the Hall of Fame.

Also I think half way through the match Rhino suddenly remembered he left the iron on back at home…

rhino face

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The Beautiful People tried their best to get Angelina Love her fair and due – rematch. But in turn Hot Mess herself, who for some reason struts around like a Drunk, decided to whine about how Angelina broke up the match between herself and Gail Kim recently.

This is the thing! A face, would always get a fair rematch, Angelina is due one, I know it’s storyline, but it bugs me, it doesn’t make sense. I hate having either “total Heel” control or “total face” control.

total face control

Least I can blame Kurt and feel somewhat better.

So yeah, next week, Gail Kim defends the Knockouts Championship against Angelina, Taryn and Velvet. Fairly sure Velvet and Angelina will throw a curve ball about “breaking up” and also Brittany should get involved… and then Madison. Then ODB, then whoever else.

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Sanada vs. Samoa Joe vs. Low Ki – X-Division Championship

Storm kicked off the match, first with a backstage promo to Sanada, then to introduce Sanada. It’s just a weird fit. I can’t take it seriously, and don’t buy for a second a guy like James Storm would want to be a “master” having people bow to him. It’s just weird.

Tough love is put on Sanada regardless.

On the other side is Low Ki and Samoa Joe who had a little face off earlier on in the night. Low Ki did some rather Mortal Kombat inspired voice for his promo, which seemed very out of a place against a guy like Joe. Joe can cut a promo, because he does it from his heart, he’s himself, and he’s good at it.

I didn’t make many notes for the match itself, though very good. All three of these guys are the kind of talent you want to stay in TNA. Low Ki is just different to anyone else, which I suppose they all are, but Low Ki is a special bread, so I wanted him to get the Championship with the hope he will stick around this time. No idea if he will or not.

Sanada rolled up Joe into a bridge pin which was counted into Joe’s submission hold for the Tap-Out Victory.

Suppose it makes sense for Joe to come back into the division, he’s a fan favourite, and what better way to re-define the Division than to put Joe back as the figure head. Still want Tigre Uno to have a run. Or at least a match with Aries, make it happen!

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And last but not least, Dixie for no reason at all goes to the ring with her hired hoodlums, insults them, fires Snitsky and Ryclon (good run). Then Bully, Devon and Dreamer take centre stage. I think I threw up a little when Dreamer said “extreme pipe bomb”. Thankfully King Mo punched him in the face so we didn’t have to.

I think it would have been a little better if it “happened” organically. Rather than booking a segment to do it. So it’s pretty much going to happen.

Either way, we can be picky all night, Bully pretty much put himself through the table and just pulled Dixie back closer to him. But what matters, is that it was a moment, and it was cool.

The entire TNA Locker-room stopped Dixie from leaving, and so Devon escorted her to Bully to powerbomb her through a Table.

The fans went nuts, TNA chants rattling my speakers and it was a moment that makes you proud to be a TNA Fan.

I love the crazy TNA Chants! That’s what bugs me the most about the ECW chants creeping in, we have something cool, that is ours, that is real, and that’s TNA. Support that and chant that, and it’s magical.

I think this is supposed to be the end of Dixie Carter on Television, which would be nice, least for quite a while. She’s had a good Heel run, and it’s the most fitting way to send her out.

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I hope things are going to keep moving with this, and actually push a new direction for TNA.

Still no news I don’t believe on their TV Deal with Spike, they’re at least on air till the end of September with No Surrender.

Till then!

Dan

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TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

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THE JOBBER BLOGGER #117 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 24/7/14

Jobber Blogger logo MikeLadies and Gentleman! Yes The Jobber Blogger has some serious Firsts to discuss!

Today, is Friday! You asked for it, probably didn’t though on second thought. But I am going away on Sunday, busy all day on Saturday, not back to Wednesday, busy on Thursday, so that means I needed to watch, and write up Impact on the same day! That’s almost like blasphemy in the realm of priorities that involve effort!

But you will be happy to know that the above statement is not the ground breaking first news. No it’s something far better, far unexpected! The Jobber Blogger has been put in his place, you might remember (doubt it) back in Issue #113, the No-One Cares guy! He is Real!

fannoonecares

And despite what you might expect, he does indeed care, he stumbled on to the blog and has since been in touch! Yup, I’ve been told! Though in related news, he found it all hilarious, so there is that, which also means that I got away with it!

Oh how I wish the Rick Moranis look-a-like guy from New York found my blog from last week, that would tickle my mind for years!

rick moranis

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TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 24/7/14

Yup, this was the second round up of TNA Tapings from New York, I do believe there is yet to come Destination X, then that might be it, I don’t remember.

But here is my initial thought, “meh”. Now that doesn’t mean they weren’t good shows, but they were supposed to be BIG, like push the company forward. But they were just ECW riddled, good matches, nothing really that spectacular. Hey, this episode ended well… just had some serious problems.

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Bobby Roode vs. MVP – Falls Count Anywhere

So here it is, the verdict, MVP seems okay. So he was just selling it all rather well last week. I don’t however think he’s 100% by a long shot, but clearly can go, without issues.

Which at first, I thought this match actually wasn’t going to take place, the whole MVP not going to the ring, then Roode going to the back. I expected Kenny King to jump him or something to take over for MVP. But no, it went on as planned.

I don’t think this is over by any means, because although Roode got his hands on MVP, I guess the whole Eric Young dynamic will take this a little further. King and EY both got involved in the match briefly. But for the most part is was just Roode throwing MVP around but nothing get too serious.

In the end though, Roode applied one of the worst looking Sharp-Shooters I’ve ever seen (and he’s Canadian folks) and won the match.

It’s the kind of Sharpshooter that would scare Sting so much that he would leave the company and turn up at Comic-Con for a WWE Panel. Oh yeah, that happened too…

stingwwe

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Jeff Hardy hit the ring, which confuses me.

Jeff had a really good match with Lashley last week, so this week he comes out and talks about “Willow heard the fans, but he’s not gone”, though I did like the “I will paint my face, wear a mask and Swanton the Steel Steps all to entertain you”. That was good, so credit goes there.

So what I expected was Jeff talking about his loss, maybe his sore back, but instead for no reason, he brought out Matt Hardy. We all saw it coming, we knew he was at the event, but I don’t get the connection.

Why did Jeff come back to the main event to just go into the Tag-Team Division right away, couldn’t someone else have battled Lashley last week? I don’t know.

Here’s my other problem. The Hardyz look old. Now I was a Team Extreme follower growing up, like serious follower. I wore my Hardy Boyz pendant with pride, Every Single Day for Years! YEARS!

But now seeing them together in 2014. It’s almost, odd. Everyone’s always loved Jeff, he looked awesome, he wrestled with a different style, he was reckless, people just gravitated to him. But for my money, Matt was always the better Wrestler. Now over the last few years, Jeff has become a full package, where Matt has nothing over him now, but age. And that’s a disadvantage.

Matt was always the smart one, he did his best to keep Jeff on the right tracks, always stood by him, Jeff went off the rails numerous times, but then Matt did, and Matt went off hard. I mean the whole Hotel fight with his wife recently just leaves a sour taste. I don’t know what went on, none of my business, but I find it hard to look at a childhood hero and see any kind of redeeming quality in him now. My other childhood hero being Jeff, sorted himself out, improved himself, put himself in the best position he’s ever been, and it shows. To see them side by side, I don’t think I crave another Hardy Boyz Tag-Team Run. I want to see them compete, but if I’m honest, Jeff is TNA. I want him here. Matt, I don’t mind so much. I was a big supporter of Matt coming to TNA, and he messed them around and he fell hard. He’s not really shown any sign of repairing that.

The Challenge was put out to The Wolves, and seeing both teams standing against each other. Hey, I’m a Wrestling fan, I’m looking forward to the match. But it doesn’t feel like The Wolves are going to over-come Jeff on his own, he fits in the roster. Matt is the dynamic that makes them feel old-news and that they can’t compete to the same level anymore.

Glad Matt seems to have sorted himself out, I look forward the reunion Tag Match, but I like Jeff on his own now. If I’m honest… he’s better for it.

Jeff Plane

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DJ Z vs. Low Ki

I forgot quite how awesome Low Ki really is. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fully aware he’s awesome, but him just walking out on the ramp, his movements and mindset make him feel like a character. Yet it’s just him. He’s not wearing a mask, or doing any kind of gimmick, he just embodies this characteristic that is awesome to watch. Not to mention, he’s a true master of his chosen trade in Professional Wrestling.

I didn’t really write anything for this match. I know Low Ki was supposed to be at Destination X, so I do look forward to that, I don’t know if he’s actually signed with TNA, or if he’s just making an appearance, like Matt, Rhino, Devon and Dreamer.

Zema still has a weird aura to him, I like him… but I’m not sold on him. Never have been. There’s just “something” I can’t put my finger on with him, that to me makes him feel like he’s incomplete.

Either way, Low Ki won.

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Bram and Magnus vs. Gunner and Anderson

Apparently Gunner and Anderson have been a Team of late, awesome that we got told things like this because they never showed it.

They were talking about the Tag Teams in TNA, when really there is two. The Wolves, The Bromans.

Bram and Magnus just doesn’t work, all eyes are on Bram, they won’t remain a Team, I’d guess they will be feuding by the end of the year. Gunner and Anderson, forget it.

That leaves The Hardy Boyz, which is a one off, and Team 3D, that have no interest. So just The Wolves and Bromans, I guess maybe the Menagerie, but not so much.

Maybe they could put Uno and Manik as a team, or something along those lines.

Bram and Gunner faced off for a good while, clearly trying to set something up between the similarities between them.

Magnus won the match by Pinning Anderson after his “Spine Shanker” move. Which sounds ridiculous. It’s like a weapon you would get with a 90’s Saturday Morning Cartoon character’s Figure. Or indeed sound like a Villain from the a 90’s Saturday Morning Cartoon…

spineshanker

Bram instantly carried on the attack, which in the end brought out the wild card in play is Sam Shaw. Shaw just decided to stand there and get attacked. Which is actually more interesting than him getting involved. To me, that’s trust building, when he probably has no intention of using it. Which just means Gunner and Anderson are not a team, because they are not finished.

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Kurt Angle brought out Austin Aries to see if he is going to cash in the X-Division Championship for a shot at the World Championship. Which despite Aries talking in riddles, is exactly what he did.

Lashley and MVP confronted Aries, but Aries gave the usual speech about not backing down.

The main important thing to note is that Aries opened up this possible idea “Option D”. Where the X-Division Champion can cash in the Championship at any time for a shot at the World Championship. This sounds as simple as this, “we can reboot any errors quickly, or grab ratings quickly should we need it”. Plus adding to the problem of pretty much everyone being a former World Heavyweight Champion.

So now there are Two Belts in the company, which means you can get to the top by winning the easy belt to obtain. Is technically how it sounds.

The other problem, and this is the main one, is that the X-Division championship is supposed to signify the Division that TNA was built on. It’s the Championship that defines the company, it’s the championship that is prestigious and only held by those who really have been in TNA, to be in TNA. Sting hasn’t done it, Mick Foley, Kevin Nash, all of the big names to come and go, had nothing to do with the X-Division. It’s the Division built by AJ Styles, let’s be honest. So now, that Championship is just a throw away, and now not only as important, but just nothing on the importance level to the World Championship.

You can just win it, ditch it for a shot, lose, win it, ditch it. No-one wants to hold that belt for the legacy it represents, they want to win it, to just get rid of it.

I don’t like that. Option C makes sense, hold the belt as long as you can, if you make it to the big PPV of the year that puts the X-Division front and centre then you can cash it in for a main event match and the new up and comers get a chance at the Gold. Good idea. Option D, bad idea.

Also shows how much TNA need another Belt.

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Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim – Knockouts Championship

I still don’t think Taryn has really done enough to “earn” the position she is currently in. After her limited, but impressive run on the active roster, she doesn’t feel like Number One Contender material.

However, both Taryn and Gail did put on a good match, which they hit a lot of top rope moves that seemed to connect with the crowd in a way most Knockouts matches don’t.

But, I still can’t look at Taryn in the same light, she doesn’t seem like she’s back in-shape for this position. I’m sure she will be, but right now, she just doesn’t feel “ready”.

Least Angelina and Velvet crashed the match and beat them up, I liked that part. Also Angelina was looking great, once again, Velvet making her look better. Clearly Velvet doesn’t look bad, I don’t know what it is though, but side by side, Velvet just seems to push attention to Angelina, who takes it naturally.

They work together in that regard. Aside from Angelina will always look like the leader .. which is a good thing, least to me.

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The Great Muta vs. Robbie E

Yup, the Great Muta was invited to the ring, don’t know why, as I don’t think he knows how to speak English, so a speech would have been a bit of a waste of time. Speaking of waste of time, Robbie E decided to call him names, and so a match was put on.

I too, don’t understand what is so “Great” about Muta.

Someone started Whistling, then Storm came out (that’s a good idea, but poorly executed on Storm’s theme), Storm then spat Beer in the face of Muta, and started to attack.

The rest kind of wrote itself, initially I thought Muta was going to turn on Sanada, till this segment, where it was obvious Sanada was going to turn. Good news, Sanada has re-signed with TNA, so that’s cool.

I’m not so sure on Sanada looking up to Storm as a leader, rather than he just agree with Storm’s views.

Should be interesting though?

James Storm TNA business 2

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EC3, Spud and Rhino vs. Tommy Dreamer, Bully Ray and Devon – Street Fight

I honestly thought Dixie would have gone through a Table on this show. But no, they’re going to keep dragging this one out.

Funny how the Dixie, Bully Ray segment drew the lowest ratings last week. Clearly a good sign right?

Dixie pandered to the ECW name, which was annoying, though kudos for Bully getting TNA Chants going. I respect that.

Dixie said she had some plan to connect the ECW name, I don’t know what she meant.

Big news part, Gene Snitsky and Ezekiel Jackson turn up in TNA. Yup, Big Black Guy no one knows, and crazy baby killing foot fetish dude, now with an obvious dyed beard and eyebrows.

That wasn’t a good ending. Ezekiel might fit the mould, shame they both didn’t join Aces and Eights last year.

No idea where this is going, or even why they would bring them into TNA. I don’t get the connection, and it really wasn’t all that of a shocking end.

And yes, EC3, Spud and Rhino won again. So now I care a little less.

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Bit of an odd show, but least Destination X is up next week, the reunited Hardy Boyz battle The Wolves for the World Tag-Team Championships, a new X-Division Champion to be crowned (I think) and Austin Aries vs. Bobby Lashley – World Heavyweight Championship.

Should be fun, till then!

Dan

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