Tag Archives: Lana

Monday Night Raw #1128, January 5, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

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The Infamous Informer

Monday Night Raw #1128, January 5, 2015!!!

If there is a overfiend,

There must be an Evil King.

Where Daniel Bryan is present,

There too, is The Authority….

The-Authority-Returns-on-RAW

Don’t get it twisted – I’m not calling Daniel Bryan a ‘God’… that’s something wrestling fans do. I simply took that excerpt from my favourite manga anime film of all time and flipped the words around. The landscape has changed…. get ready Danny, prepare for hell part 2!!!

Happy new year muthaf***az! My new years resolution is to refrain from cussing wrestling fans, and as you can see already, I have broken that resolution. RAW #1128! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZOh man everybody is in the ring… I’m just waiting for the Authority’s music to hit… I was more hoping for Vincent Kennedy’s music to hit and tell them all about RUTHLESS AGGRESSION!

Don’t worry Cena I forgive you… I wanted the Authority back, especially Stephanie! She was away too long if you ask me!

Stephanie – those boots though!!!!! OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Triple – I suggest you send a restraining order against me! Those boots are not corporate!!!!

WTF??!!!! Seth didn’t have to cash in his cheque!!! Seth is in the triple threat match at the Royal Rumble! God damnit I just created that promo video!

OH NO! It gets worse! It’s John Cena Appreciation Night too!!!! The Authority guarantees that they will deliver? That’s a good idea for the IWC – or should I say – CURRRRTISSS!!! to NOT tune in this week!

Come on Barrett!!!! Destroy that Ziggler!!! make Barrett look strong damnit!!!!

Damnit that bastard won! But I’m afraid Barrett has some baaad news!!! He’s destroying Ziggler! Next thing you know Glenn comes out and ‘forgets to mention’ that this is 2 out of 3 falls??? SUPERB!!! Keep going! Barrett with the Bull hammer & Wasteland super move – BLAOW!!!! That’s what I’m talking about!

Why the f**k did Ziggler kick down Glenn for??? Now look what happen – Barrett wins! YES!!!! I forgive you for burying The Undertaker – you destroyed the IWC’s favourite battyman!!!! BRAVO!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE – the Authority say they have no issues with anybody – they are starting on a clean slate… A LIE!!!! Ziggler pinned Rollins to get rid of the Authority at Survivor Series… so you know they gonna make Ziggler’s life a living hell!

Is it me or has Renée Young cut her hair??? Not bad! Just don’t over do it like Penny from Big Bang Theory…

Vanity Fair And Vera Wang Celebrate The Opening Of Vera Wang On Rodeo Drive

So heartbreaking…. I blame her husband… even Howard from Big Bang doesn’t throw shots at her anymore… remember every week Howard would talk about how he would get in Penny’s pu$$y????

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WHOA!!! The Ascension has picked up on the Road Warriors comparisons by the IWC???? Look what you’ve done!!!!! It’s YOUR FAULT!!!! I have no sympathy. You open your dirty mouths too much!

I wonder why Rusev & Lana have started doing promos backstage…. is it because every time they are out Ryback brukks up his clart?!

YES-SA! here’s my dude – Roman Reigns! The DON! F**k the haters… they was on Roman’s d!ck this time last year…. when you brukk up the Big Show, you are punching the haters through school buses!

… but the Big Show is taking Reigns like a rag doll! Show wasn’t interested in a straight wrestling match… it was all about using the stairs and destroying Reigns! Finish him if you’re bad Big Show… Reigns bounces off the ropes, spear to the belly – BLAOW! The stairs drop on Show’s head top!!!! HAHA! What a wassack!

Well Natalya is here! Seems like she wasn’t in trouble after all for eating those brownies!!!! Oh hang on… Paige comes out here – who started that mess in the first place!

Oh snap!!!! Natalya pinned the divas champion! See? Now if you win the title, you can pay for the car you damaged!!! Somebody take that Need For Speed game away from Natalya?!!!!

Hang on – this is a mad situation? Mercury & Noble acting as referees for this Harper & Rowan match?? What sort of sh!t is that???

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE – Rowan lost… all this is, it’s the Authority’s revenge… everyone that was on Team Cena is to be f**ked up… it started with Ziggler, now Eric Rowan… Big Show already turned evil so that’s him out of the equation… hang on who else was in that team??? Oh yeah – Ryback…. uh-oh….

Booker-T – DUTTY BWOY!!!! About it’s gonna get hot in here – DAMN RIGHT!!! Naomi & Alicia Fox to fight?!! Forget about the Usos and Miz & Mizdow (Yeah I said it) I wanna see someone’s weave pulled out! Hopefully not Naomi’s!!!

OHHHHHHH SH!!!!!!!T!!! It’s the Ambulance Match! AMBROSE! WYATT! CALL THE AMBULANCE TO PICK UP THE PEOPLE!!!

Oh snap!!! Ambulance tables????? somebody gonna have splinters in their back tonight!!!!

Did Booker-T make reference to the Attitude Era in this match??? Don’t say that Booker – you will have muthaf***az wanking!!!

Booker-T you are slippin son! Bray Wyatt – the epitome of Darkness??? If only there was an Undertaker (in his prime)/Wyatt feud… that would be instantly feud of the year!

I don’t remember Booker-T being in an ambulance match??? Wrestling trainspotters help me out here! When did that happen? Answers on a postcard please! tweet me @MZATheInfamous or @stc_wwe!

So that’s what happened!!!! I wasn’t a WCW guy during the Monday Night Wars anyway…

OH SNAP!!!! Wyatt laid out on the table! Ambrose climbs the ambulance, jumps off, elbow drop to Wyatt right through the table – BLAOW!!!!

Call The Ambulance

I haven’t heard that in a while! Mike Cole – ‘A Sister Abigail on the concrete floor!’ Not as good as JR, but he tries… and with that… Bray Wyatt drives Ambrose to the hospital! Knowing Bray, I don’t think Ambrose will make it to the hospital!

Yeaaaaaaah boyeeee! the Usos and that sexy…… SEXY… Naomi… a REAL woman…. not that pale piece of clay you call Paige!

Oh no Miz beat the Uso brudda… damnit…. not to worry the story continues… Ryback vs Rollins – calling it now – Rusev will interfere and teef…

Wait a minute…. Glenn is joining in and now it’s a handicap match??? TEEEEEEF!!! Well I’ve seen Ryback Shell Shock two men before at one time… I can’t see how this is different…

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Well I called it wrong… is wrestling still predictable CURRRRTISSS??? Hahahahaha! Ryback held his own still… but two curb stomps to Ryback’s head top, plus the beating from Glenn and the two stooges… 4 on 1? Forget about it!

When Adam Rose comes on, normally I would send for my p!$$ break… but I don’t need the toilet… and The New Day is out here…so it’s worth staying put…

I feel sorry for New Day though… they are not connecting with the fans…. The Grant says this – if they came out as a new Nation of Domination, y’all still complain and say it ain’t the same. I do like the New Day clap though…

OH SNAP!!! Cesaro & Tyson Kidd were ‘Rosebuds’ in disguise and sh!t? attacking the New Day? Their super move is awesome though!!!!

Oh man they are really giving Cena props for this!!! Let’s appreciate him! He brought back the Authority! The best thing he ever did!!!!

Sh!t I wished I brought back the Authority… Stephanie calls Cena her hero… I wished I could show her my gratitude…

TEEEEEEEF!!! Why is Triple bringing out ‘Team Cena’ to appreciate Cena??? I got a bad feeling about this!

WTF??? Suspensions for Rowan, Ryback & Ziggler??? Don’t you think they’ve been punished anyway???

OH SNAP!!!! FIRED????!!!!! They can’t do this???? Well Ziggler I don’t mind but not the other two???!!!

Oh no! it’s a celebration!!!! Stephanie’s dancing!!!! Triple verbally USED DI HAMMER!!!!!

Er…. Vincent Kennedy… er… need a lil’ help here…..

One last thing… The Infamous Informer is coming of age this Sunday… so…. what you getting him???

MZATheInfamous Wargwarn UK

GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

BDSIR Networkwww.cageamateursuk.com

 

Monday Night Raw #1121: November 17, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

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The Infamous Informer

You know what? Every year I delete the data from my WWE games off my PS3 to make space for the new one… for some reason one mind told me NOT to delete 2K14…. I’m glad I didn’t… now I’m hearing that the PS4/XB1 versions of the game ain’t all that either… like dayuuuuum! Seriously it might as well have been an upgrade like Street Fighter, where I downloaded the upgrade to Ultra Street Fighter IV and sh!t… don’t get me wrong, I like the game… but not able to put Ain’t No Grave to Undertaker’s entrance or Method Man’s ‘Kane’ to Kane’s entrance is unforgivable…not to mention NO LAYLA in the game… HEINOUS. 2K Games: GET IN THE CHAIR!!!!

Will the Authority survive? Or will the IWC be subject to Cena’s rule? Everybody, wants to rule the world… shout out to Tears For Fears…. RAW #1121! HOL’DAT -BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZNow we gotta deal with this grumpy cat… which I’m sure is WWE taking the p!$$ out of the IWC because what are they? GRUMPY! Yeah I said it! Don’t mistake me, Infamous Informer, Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw, Grant Body – P! for one of YOUUUUUU!!!!

Oh no not the authority!! RAW opens with ANOTHER Team Authority segment???? Ok backing Team Cena! ARE YOU MAD???? After what Triple pulled last week…. LONG LIVE THE AUTHORITY!!!!

Ok Stephanie you just described Kane as sick and twisted monster… you gonna give him his mask??? You better!!!!!

Enough chat from Triple & Steph…. Ryback is out here – Feed Me More of that pu$$y Steph!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Why you bringing up old sh!t Steph? Footage of Cena running down Ryback and sh!t…. they had their beef back last year… I see what you tryna do Steph! Working brain and sh!t!!!

Ok Ryback playing that ‘Austin’ role… I’m on the side I’ve always been on, and that’s MINE!

Yes Luke Harper! Listen to Triple TEEF! DECIMATE DOLPH ZIGGLER! KILLLLLL HIM!!!

YES!!! Patterson & Brisco start brukk up Ziggler! Rollins lick him down with the briefcase! The match nah start yet! THIS IS GREAT!

OH SNAP! It’s for the Intercontinental title and sh!t! Come on ref let’s go! Ring the bell damnit!

OH SNAP!!!! KISS MI NECKBACK! LUKE HARPER – NEW INTERCONTINENTAL….. CHAMPION!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!! I feel like dancing like Triple Teef and sh!t!

….and Seth Rollins – Curb stomp to Ziggler – BLAOW!!!!! WROOOOOOOOY!!!!! First Great Khali is let go, now Ziggler get buss arse! SHOUT OUT TO ICE CUBE!

Oh my god this grumpy cat is real! I thought it was a still picture that posted memes!

What is this? The Bunny wants a piece of Natalya??? Who gives a f**k about the Adam Rose/ Tyson Kidd match? well certainly not me! The Bunny got taste in women if you ask me!!!

Mi nah understand all this nonsense between Bray Wyatt & Dean Ambrose… f**k all that cryptic sh!t – just fight damnit! I do know this: Both of em are not all there in their headtop!

In Prisoner Cell Block, they call it Solitary. In WWE. they call it the doghouse! Talk sh!t, and you get f**ked up every week. In the case of Cesaro…. he’s about to be f**ked up by Ryback…

Will you three muthaf***az (Cole/Lawler/JayBee) stop talking about what would happen if the Authority loses at Survivor Series and call the damn match???? Two talented muthaf***az – Ryback and Cesaro and that’s all you mans can chat bout…. BLODCLART!!!

STC Survivor Series 2014

Lana, I am disappointed at you & Rusev, I thought you would have desecrated the US title by now and created a Russian title….

That is f**ked up – to advertise the Survivor Series that is FREE… while UK cats still have to pay £14.95 for that rarse!

Oh Lana just said SHUT-TUP to the fans…. my tingz stand up again!!! And Lana put the US on blast about Kim Kardashian showing her @$$ all over the internet! WTF?!!! Lana wants to show the world her topless pics??? Have we gone TV14 suddenly??? Well fear not, if Lana won’t show us… I WILL!!!

LANA BRA

Heath Slater – WHERE ARE YOU GOING??? Send for the Accolade Rusev!!! If Swagger could beat him, Big E, Mark Henry, Big Show… what chance did you have???? You dyam arse!

Er Erick Rowan…that cat is not Renée Young….. er…. even Miz & Sandow look confused… making these Wyatt man look fool… they supposed to be scary and sh!t!

What’s Stephanie doing? She’s not about to trouble Big Show is she? Remember when she slapped him up and f**ked with him? She’s f**k!ng with him now….

WHOA!!!! Induct Big Show into the Hall of Fame 2015 if he steps down from Cena’s team? Think about it Show! Remember how Steph & Triple f**ked with you last year!!!

WTF? Suddenly Sheamus is an illegal citizen? Is this where you come in Zeb Colter? Well do your job jabroni! Oh that’s right – Rusev f**ked you up at Summerslam! YOU B!TCH!

Hang on – they fight for a championship opportunity? I thought Cena got that already! Nah I smell a rat here! Stephanie wukkin brain as usual to take down Team Cena… all this Authority dissecting sh!t they doing is only telling me that Team Cena gonna win at Survivor Series… I hope it’s not the case! But I’m not gonna tweet my displeasure at Triple! I’m not like you Internet Wrestling B!tches! All Stephanie has to do is give back Kane his mask! No need for this divide & conquer sh!t!!!

There you go! I knew full well neither was getting title shot! Rusev & Mark Henry out to finish the both of em! OH SNAP!!! Mark Henry setting up the announce table! Mark Henry with the world’s strongest slam to Sheamus – BLAOW!!! THATS WHAT I DO!!!!

I can’t lie Brie looks sexy dressed up as AJ!!!! GOD DAYUUUUM!!! Sorry Danny… and sorry Philip for that matter… I gotta send for the Cocoa Butter…GRANT THAT'S WHAT I DO

GRANT BODY – P!!!

If you gonna chant CM P**K… you might as well chant Cena & Danny as well!

UH-OH!!! Was Brie meant to do that? Pin her sister like that??? Er that was cool considering she was meant to be Nikki’s assistant which was a ridiculous storyline if you ask me… and I love women! There is so much Nikki could have done… supposed to be hated but it only has guys wanting to f**k Nikki Bella even more!

Look at Brie celebrating like a fool with AJ on that Danny Bryan sh!t… AJ with a kick to the mid section of Brie… DDT into the canvas – BLAOW!!!

8 man tag team contest??? On Raw? Fatal 4 Way Tag Team Championship match at Survivor Series??? NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!! It should be the other way round! Why call this sh!t Survivor Series? You might as well call it WWE…..er….WWE…. Fully Loaded or some sh!t like that! WWE wonders why the Smack Talk Centre ain’t organising sh!t til the Royal Rumble! But believe me when I say – that sh!t is gonna be OFF THE HOOK!!! THEY SHOOTING! AH MADE YOU LOOK!

Trust the Miz to act like a B!TCH! Tags MizDow, the crowd loves him. Then he tags himself back in instantly… I hope he gets BUSS ARSE!

So… if the Authority has f**ked up Cena’s team apart from Cena… who else gonna sign the contract for this match??? I wonder if Vincent Kennedy might come out and switch sh!t up??? Ok I’m probably asking too much…

What’s wrong with Triple Teef? he sounds worried and sh!t…. now he’s tryna convince himself – THEY…WILL…NOT…LOSE!!!

HA! HA! Triple don’t give me joke… looking for Cena’s ‘teammates’… We can’t see them!!!

Triple is killing me! He’s going to sleep through Cena’s promo!!!! He can’t do that!

HAHA! Ok that was funny… Cena says when he’s done with Rollins he will be cleaning toilets!!! HA! HA! I gotta rate Cena for trying to sway me to back his team!

Seems like it will take more than beat downs to take out Ziggler & Big Show – but here’s the twist – Eric Rowan has joined Cena’s team???? BACKSIDE!!!! So has Ryback!!! So wait there – Sheamus is out the game now…. what de rarse??!!! I should back Team Cena but I’m sorry – my hatred for Dolph Ziggler run deep – I can’t put it aside – plus two of my favourite dudes – Rusev & Mark Henry ride for the Authority… did Cena just put Triple TEEF through the announce table??? HE CAN’T DO THAT!!!!

He just did – BLAOW!!! Now I know Team Authority GOT THIS!!!!

OFFICIAL STC SURVIVOR SERIES 2014 THEME SONG: THE LOX – SURVIVOR

OFFICIAL STC SURVIVOR SERIES 2014 THEME SONG: THE LOX – SURVIVOR

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

BDSIR Networkwww.cageamateursuk.com

Monday Night Raw #1103: July 14, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

Ok so Germany won the muthaf***!n World Cup…. THAT AIN’T SH!T compared to my triumph!!!! I met the Supreme Clientele Champion himself – Ghostface Killah! My idol of 20 years!!!

GRANTFACE KILLAHNow that I’ve been in the presence of greatness, YOU are reading greatness. I appreciate that. I got my ginger nuts, my dairy milk bubbly mint chocolate, my Sprite, I’ve had a nap after the epic London trip… LET’S DO THIS!!! RAW #1103, HOLD’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZWord on the street is that the icon himself Sting will appear on Raw to promote his addition on WWE2K15!!!! I have warned a certain STC member in the name of Stephen Cooper: If Sting DOES NOT APPEAR IN THE RAW ARENA…. the dreaded chair awaits!!!! Believe me – he don’t wanna go there!!!

So w’happen, they got Cena to advertise the WWE Network now? I think I’m used to Michael Cole advertising that sh!t!!! F**k that – The Infamous Informer and Shadfather advertise that sh!t better – It’s $9.99 a month which is £6.71 – which is around the national minimum wage so THE GRANT SAYS – if you working and you’re a wrestling fan… you better cop that sh!t before I clap you in your head!

You mean to tell me that while Dean Ambrose was getting buss arse by My hero Kane, Seth Rollins and Randall, John Cena and Roman Reigns were in the ring just watching that sh!t? I thought Ambrose was your ‘brother’ Roman??? Oh I get it… one of them was Kane…. but you’re both big strapping guys huh???? You both claim to be ‘Superman’ in your own right??? As Vincent Kennedy would say, ‘John Cena & Roman Reigns are nothing more than two, putrid… p-(censored)!!!!!’

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh HELL 2 DA NAW!!! It’s that how it goes down? Everytime Miz fights his grill is gonna be on the titantron??? While I remind myself it’s not the attitude era no more, now would be a good time to ask Austin & Big Show to destroy the titantron!!!

I’d rather see Vladimir Putin’s dry @$$ grill up on that muthaf***a!

Word is that Wade Barrett will be at Battleground to present the Intercontinental Championship to the winner…. while Shadfather backs the Great Khali, I back The Miz!!! I hope Wade Barrett says “Congratulations you won the Intercontinental Championship, but I’m afraid I got some BAD NEWS!” And clap down the winner with the belt! It would be great!!!!

Damn the way Stephanie is all over Triple… I’m not interested in this next Dolph Ziggler contest…. Triple just GET IN THAT PU$$Y! Or do I have to go GRANTINGTON STEELE on your wife while you watch and you jerk your hammer?

GRANT BODY – P!!!

HA! HA! Fandango as a solo dancer…. that’s right – because he’s a B!TCH!!!!! Since I hate both Ziggler and Fandango, lets watch this right here, when Summer Rae and my Baby Moda Layla saw sense and beat down the pansy!

YES! YES! YES! Now on Raw, Summer Rae & Layla just dissed Fandango! Now they dancing around Ziggler! THIS IS IT! They could cure Ziggler of his homosexual tendencies!!!!! I’m sorry, if I was Ziggler, I don’t care if it’s in front of 15,000 fans, I would be protruding in those wrestling trunks!!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

NO! Sandow dressed as some idiot in a McDonald’s???? EPIC FAIL! WWE YOU DROPPED THE BALL HERE! He could have dressed up as Sting to annoy the fans on some bullsh!t!

DAMIEN STINGDOW

There could still be hope for STC’s Stephen Cooper yet!!!!

OH SNAP – 2 out of 3 falls tag team contest between The Wyatt man dem and the Uso Brudda at Battleground? Did you see the Wyatt tag team super move? I don’t know what to call it – f**k it – I call it the Buzzard Death Drop – BLAOW!!!! I’m sorry Usos – you cannot compete with that move!

Lana what you doing hiding behind that podium thing? Let me see your sexy @$$ legs in that tight up skirt!!! Anyway I’m backing your argument girl in this American/Russian détente thing going on here!Official_WWE_Battleground_poster_featuring_Bray_Wyatt

GOD DAMN – Lana makes that Russian accent sound sexy – imagine f**k!n her and she has to scream and holla in that language???!!! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!

See that’s why Rusev gonna beat Swagger at Battleground – even the crowd boo their own president…. RACIAL MAN RACIAL!!!!!

But I gotta say – I can’t wait for this match!!!! Backing Rusev all the way! RUSEV! CRUSH! USE THE ACCOLADE AND KILL!!!!

OH MY GOD! WWE NETWORK DOING A PHILIP BROOKS SPECIAL! All the Philip Brooks fans are gonna rush to the chemists and get that essential cream to put on their genitalia!!! Chemists across the world are gonna make a huge turnover!!! Socks will be hard to find in Primark! Normal folk (that’s me and you) invest in an umbrella! There’s gonna be CM Spunk everywhere!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

…and the suffering of Nikki Bella continues! Listen to Stephanie wuk brain on Nikki, saying that Brie was selfish for leaving her hanging like that! Well Steph has a point, I mean, The Bella Twins are a package after all, fans like to see the twins… but let’s be real, ever since they got involved with Danny Bryan & John Cena the appeal has gone… I don’t know about you… I don’t fancy the twins anymore… like Beyoncé and Kim Kardashian, when they got involved with Jay-Z and Kanye, the sex appeal was lost. Don’t get mad, I’m only being real!

You know – the team of Cameron and Alicia Fox could work here… do you think Naomi will come out to help out??? You never know!

Say what? Cameron Vs Naomi at Battleground???? WHOA! This PPV is gonna be great!!!

Even though I knew about this…. I JUST MARKED THE F**K OUT WATCHING THE TRAILER!!! TWO GENERATIONS OF STING ON WWE2K15!!! THE GRANT SAYS – I’m pre-ordering that sh!t!!!!! If WWE do the entrance like what they just did there…. HOLY F**K!!!!

Hmmm interesting…What’s wrong Randall? Afraid that my hero Kane won’t stick to the plan and make you the champion??? If that’s the plan we don’t need a plan B???? Triple looked at Randall as if to say – there is ALWAYS A PLAN B…

Talking of Plan B…. what’s this I hear? Paul Heyman quit? Or he was fired? All apart of the plan people! I was looking forward to him telling me that his client – Plan B himself – conquered the Undertaker’s Streak at WrestleMania!

YES!!! With the combined force of Big E & Kofi, Big E defeated Cesaro! Suddenly Heyman disappears and Cesaro loses????!!!!! Ok now guys, call up Mark Henry and Titus…..

Are people chanting ‘BORING’ to Bray Wyatt’s promo? do me a favour wrestling fools – purchase the muthaf***!n network for $9.99 a month – you have to purchase the cream separately – watch your f**k!n Philip Brooks documentary and F**K OFF!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

LAWD HAVE MERCY – EVA MARIE DEP PON DE TELLY! Let’s see what she has learned….

Whoa Eva has improved a little bit! She has learned a few holds and submissions! And a back-breaker too! WOW! Only that her moves don’t look like they hurt…

I’d still f**k the sh!t out of her though! Grantington Steele that pu$$y – BANG BANG BANG!!!

Big ups to WWE – they got the Sting merchandise up for sale and everything! Come on guys! Get to contributing towards Sting’s retirement fund!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

All I have to do is BO-LIEVE!!! Bo-Lieve that while he’s fighting The Great Khali, I’m getting some ice cream!!!

Hey I just had a thought…. Do you think Bo Dallas could win the Battle Royal?????

He just defeated The Great Khali via count-out! Maybe he may lose the Streak to don of dons himself???? Just a thought…

Oh no! Paul Heyman is here!!!! Here we go! He’s talking about Plan C! And he didn’t mention the Undertaker’s streak!!! Uh Oh guys and gals! stay close to your loved ones!!! Tell them that you love them!

Why does this muthaf***a Flo-rida keep passing through Raw? He must be broke because nobody buying his wack records or downloading his sh!t from iTunes! And RePPiN4U sure as hell doesn’t endorse his sh!t!

ENOUGH OF THAT SH!T – RIC FLAIR IS HERE!!!! RIC FLAIR N!**@!

Wow Ric Flair looks good! Look at him looking at Renée like he wants to go buckwild and profile up in her @$$!

Oh no!! Ric Flair predicts John Cena gonna hold down the title at Battleground! Roman Reigns don’t like that sh!t! I tell you this: If Renée asked me that same question – who I think gonna win… I would say…. ME!!! Let’s me and you go in the back, play some Ghostface Killah, and make the Wizard of Poetry do the talking!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Uh-oh!!! at time of writing this, there is about 20 minutes left until I begin construction of the chair custom-built for Stephen Cooper!

It could be excellent strategy here, that Kane, Randall and Seth Rollins took out Ambrose earlier… let’s do the knowledge here, Ambrose says that anytime Seth tries to cash the cheque, he would come and f**k it up. So by doing that, they take on Roman and Cena, they brukk them up enough and then Seth can cash his cheque right there without worrying about Ambrose!

Nice to see Seth Rollins using the three amigo suplex right there! Ok who’s gonna use the triple German suplex?!!! Yes wrestling fools, WWE may erase Chris Benoit out of their history minus the network but his moves live on live long through various superstars!

Well Well Well! All guys in that match minus Seth Rollins be dropping their super moves on each other setting up the Fatal 4 Way jump off…. AND THE SHOW HAS ENDED!!!! You know what that means! Out comes the tool box! all the nails, all the wood, all the sharp edges… Let’s begin CONSTRUCTION!!! OHHHH STEPHEN???!!!!!!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(back story – he was on STC FB page today ranting and raving about Sting’s appearance on WWE Raw this week, he knew it was to promote the game, but he really thought he was gonna appear, and tried to convince us… I warned him only ONCE, that if Sting DOES NOT APPEAR… he would be given the GET IN THE CHAIR!!! AWARD…. his brother Ian Cooper is gonna love this, especially when WWE Network are doing a special on his idol???!!!!)

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

BDSIR Network

http://www.cageamateursuk.com/News.php

Monday Night Raw #1102: July 7, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

Before this blog jumps off I wanna give a big, BIG!!! SMACK TALK CENTRE shout out to member Lee Steadx whose wife has given birth to a beautiful baby boy this week! BIG RESPECTS TO THAT MAN!

It’s the gift and the curse of my life, I know I will be a father of none, unless Layla wants to finish her wrestling career and settle down with the god….

GRANT BODY – P!!!

YO! I got my walkers crisps, my homewheat (Y’all call it chocolate digestives but I’m old school!) my supermalt, I got strawberry ice cream for later, jaffa cakes… I’m ready for this sh!t, are you??? RAW #1102! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZWord on the street is that Bret the Hitman Hart is in the hiz-house! Let’s hope this weeks Raw isn’t a 4/10! OK bad joke – the Infamous Informer can come better than that!

So w’happen? Triple Teef and Stephanie McTeef are on vacation??? No one to run the show??? No wonder Raw didn’t start with them two like it does always! Oh my days it’s gonna be anarchy up in here tonight!!!!

WROOOOOOOOOY!!!! Just like I said, not even 5 minutes in, Roman Reigns calls my hero Kane – Randall’s b!tch?? WAR UP INNA DE DANCE!!!

Officials trying to break it up, referees chokeslammed – BLAOW!!! Finlay is one of the officials now – did you know that??? Nah me neither – he got speared by Roman Reigns – BLAOW!

I’m not gonna talk about the Wyatt man dem Vs The Uso brudda unless something big happens… question – Raw this week is in Canada, why isn’t Jerry Lawler calling it ‘Bizarro Land’ like he used to?

One other thing – I hope 2K games put the Uso brudda in the new game as regular characters! Not no DLC sh!t!!! That goes for Cameron & Naomi, Paige, Curtis Axel (even though I’ll just brukk him up) that Bo Dallas kid, Rusev and especially that Lana… OH YEAHHHH!!!

Why are the Usos complaining about the legal man not being pinned??? You guys are more identical than the Bella Twins! I wouldn’t call the Bellas – twins no more!

Talking of Bella twins, they introduce Nikki but not Alicia Fox???? Alicia has been smashing it lately with her story-lines… RACIAL MAN RACIAL!

Both must fight with one arm tied behind their back… I’d tie both arms, bend em both over and twist their backs out!!!GRANT - BODY - P

GRANT BODY – P!!!

…and why should Alicia have her hands tied in this match??? her ancestors were caught up in metal chains in 1555 and…. you know what – I’m not getting into that!!! I see the science though… treat Nikki Bella like sh!t so that we feel sorry for her – WELL THE GRANT SAYS that is no longer our concern – she wants to be married to John Cena so bad – and Cena doesn’t lift one finger to help… you think I’d let my woman be f**ked around like that???? A man must protect his first lady… I think Roman Reigns is right along with the fans – Cena SUCKS!

GOD DAMN LANA… you wearing anything under that blouse????

No way – Rob Van Dam is the next victim to Rusev???? Come on RVD – use your martial arts techniques! Lead by example on The Raid!!! Those guys got skills!

OK Rusev Vs Swagger at Battleground???? BACKING RUSEV ALL THE WAY! I keeps it real – I’m not supporting Swagger and Colter just because they turned face… f**k that!

One thing I’ll give Colter credit for – and I don’t do that often – is not cross the borders to Canada! Ha – my woman from Canada will f**k them up!!! Let alone the Infamous Informer!

JAY-BEE – are you an exclusive member of the Triple TEEF kiss his @$$ club? Stop wishing them the best on their vacation! I ain’t saying sh!t – you know why? because I wanna f**k Stephanie as well! I’d show that gyal how to twerk it – twerk it! Give her some loving then send her back to her husband & kids!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Hold up – if Dean Ambrose pulls off a figure four leg lock on Randall, how does that pay homage to Bret Hart? I know it’s a submission move, but the Sharpshooter is Bret’s super move isn’t it???? JAY-BEE – GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

Oh snap! It just hit me why Triple & Steph are on ‘vacation’… they don’t wanna be in the same building as Bret!!! HA! HA!!!

Now look what you done Randall! exposing Ambrose’s bad shoulder, now he throws whole heap of chairs in the ring… oh lawd – somebody gonna get f**ked up tonight!!!

…but the chair dem nah help him???!!! RKO into the canvas – BLAOW!!!!

WTF??? Fandango announces he’s in the Battle Royal at Battleground, and he shakes his hips in front of three guys Cole, JAY-BEE and Lawler? GAY!!!!

WTF??? Michael Cole asks Fandango – who he likes better – Layla or Summer Rae, this was his answer – ‘Fandango likes Fandango’…. and with that, I’M DONE! Bertie Vs Ziggler? F**K THIS MATCH!!!!

What’s more, Fandango does his gay dancing and Ziggler is distracted??? Making Bertie win the match? THAT’S THE MAN YOU SUPPORT…. someone who is staring at Fandango dancing like a queer???? F**k out my face Ziggler fans!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

I can’t stand all this faggotry nonsense – here’s a pic of Rosa Mendes… just for no reason… actually the reason is to forget all that stupidness that happened…

Rosa Mendes 2

Aaaah I feel so much better now…

BIG UP THE BEST THERE IS, BEST THERE WAS, BEST THERE EVER WILL BE BRET THE HITMAN HART!!!

OK Bret don’t get excited – you’re in Montreal, you got goosebumps and you are hinting at one more match?? Goldberg where you at????

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh lawwd -Damien Sandow is burying himself here, dressed up as Bret and running down Canada???? Maybe Bret DOES have one more match left in him! One punch in Sandow’s grill – BLAOW!!!! Sandow you’re my dude but you deserved that – word up!

Thank you Jerry Lawler! Sandow is a man who got skills – why the f**k has he gotta dress as all these different people and make a dyam arse of himself??? Sometimes it’s funny but sometimes I’m just sitting there like – (facepalm)…

If Sandow wanted to generate TRUE HEAT, all he had to do was dress up as Shawn Michaels… you know the fans in Montreal are still trapped in 1997???!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

OK one-on-one action with The Miz Vs Chris Jericho…. just like Bret Hart said once, I know how this match is gonna go, exactly how it is predicted… the Wyatt man dem are gonna come and f**k up Jericho again!!!

Miz – word from the wise – don’t boast about being a movie star and keeping your face as your money-maker – don’t you think that would make guys in the locker room wanna f**k you up??? Like I don’t recall my STC ladies Dawn Bayley, Susan Brunton, Loz Blick, Ref Tonya Stevens, Ashley Vera, Beckii Tyson, Emma Edwards, Emily Brown, Rudie Rai Ryan talk about how good-looking and sexy you are Miz???? The Marine 4??? Hercules is coming out muthaf***a!!!!!

WHOA!!!! Did Jericho just counter Bray Wyatt and told him to shut the f**k up??? He can’t do that!!!! He’s ready to run up and beat him with the rocking chair he be sitting in, here comes the rest of the family! Er Jericho, why didn’t you take a steel chair with you???? and maybe your Fozzy guitar????

OK so maybe Paige hasn’t turned evil after all… seems like she gonna team with AJ against my favourite nubians the Funkadactyls….

No not the Canadian fans too? Don’t chant his name??? Oh it’s ok, they settled down…

Oh HELL NAW! Miss girl bye-bye is doing her nails and make up not tagging Naomi??? Now they fighting on some stupid sh!t…. dayuum…. I hope Naomi tears out that blonde head top of Cameron! It’s like one reps for Nicki Minaj and the other reps for Rapsody!

Remember last week Cesaro f**ked up Kofi Kingston??? If I was Kofi this week I’d be like – f**k a wrestling match – send for the kendo sticks, steel chairs, tables, the lot, set the sh!t’s on fire and bunn up Cesaro!

Kofi wins again, Cesaro was about to f**k him up again, but w’happen – Pastor Lang- er I mean Big E comes out of nowhere! Now all you gotta do Big E is round-up Mark Henry and Titus O Neill or R-Truth or Xavier Woods, get Ron Simmons as their manager and become Black Men United!!! You remember the tune! This should be the theme tune right here!

SHOUT OUT TO MIKE KNOXXX, SPOTFACE, & THE PERFECT PLEX TEAM!!!

This is interesting, this week on Smackdown, Roman Reigns takes on the evil Rusev and his sexy @$$ Lana???? Now I don’t watch Smackdown much… but I might just tune in for this one! Maybe Lana’s orifices may become moist!!!!

HA! HA! HA! HA! Bo Dallas defeats El Torito, does a victory lap, and knocks down El Torito in the process??!!! All you gotta do is BO-LIEVE MUTHAF***A!!!

Main event jump off – John Cena Vs Seth Rollins, I’ll tell you how it’s gonna go down… Seth will deliberately get disqualified, continue the assault, then try to cash in his cheque… then again – Dean Ambrose will run through and stop that muthaf***a!

Do not adjust your sets attitards, John Cena just did an electric chair move with one arm! PUT THAT IN THE GAME 2K!

So let me get this right so I can understand this: You chant ‘Cena Sucks’, then you chant ‘You sold out’ to Seth Rollins… so who do you support???

Well I forgot about the Kane part…. well no doubt Roman Reigns will be on his way now that Randall is out here teefing as well!

Irrelevant – Seth just clapped Roman and Cena in his head – he’s gonna cash in his cheque!!!

Dean Ambrose says NOT TONIGHT, NOT ANY NIGHT ROLLINS! Kane goes to chokeslam Cena – gets speared by Reigns – BLAOW!!!

You know what, I’d finish this blog but since WWE Network is free this week, I’m off to watch the Monday Night War… f**k y’all attitards!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1094: May 12, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

Since WWE likes to sign up new divas for a development deal, they might be interested in this one! Name: Solange Knowles… she put her boots to Jay-Z’s Candy @$$! Blows up Facebook, everybody put it pon dem wall like they found the breaking news… but what I wanna know is: WHY? Why did Solange spazz out on Jay and Beyoncé just stood there… what did Jay do??? People quick to post it because they jumped on the bandwagon of hating Jay-Z. You sheeple are foolish! (Oh you’re defending Illum-) STOP YOUR NOISE! You’re the ones with your sheep masks following the buzzards!

And that story overshadowed the fact that Chef Raekwon is heading to the studio to lace some verses for Wu-Tang’s A Better Tomorrow album….

ENOUGH OF THIS SH!T – Isn’t Raw in the UK this week? I dare you Zeb – come to our shores… I’M BEGGIN YA!!!

RAW #1094, HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZI guess we’re not in the UK… F**K the long talk! The Shield are like – Is that all you got Evolution? We are gonna straight – F**K YOU UP!!!

And that’s what they set out to do! As soon as Triple come out his limo, The Shield rushed him and his crew!!! LAWD HAVE MERCY!!!

Oh no that muthaf***a has got that muthaf***!n deportation list again, now he’s added Adam Rose on that list and look what happen… here he comes with his party crew, and f**ked it up for Wack Swagger! I’ve just learned that this Adam Rose dude is British as well… the STC are on split feelings on this one! I notice no one is on that We The People sh!t…. if only they listened to me, but NOOOOOOOO!!! I’m just a black man who doesn’t care about the Chris B£^@!+ sh!t…

Here comes Paige… one of the people Zeb Colter doesn’t like…. I look at you all in disgust!

GRANT - BODY - P

Alicia Fox is out to f**k up Paige isn’t she??? Claims she doesn’t fit in… well durrrr!!! Paige will tell you she doesn’t fit in, because she’s the Anti Diva! She ain’t gonna look pretty like say Eva Marie and have no skills… Because she HAS skills brings sexual appeal to a lot of the STC guys! She still doesn’t stimulate me… I’m sorry!

All those power moves Alicia, and Paige out wrestles your @$$??? Damn girl! Kicking up a fuss ain’t gotta do sh!t, go back and fix up! And I don’t mean taking off with JAY-BEE’s cowboy hat and gone with it!

Tell me it’s not so…. did the Authority win the war after all that? Danny Bryan has to go away for neck surgery…ain’t that a b!tch… what does this mean? Has he gotta give up his titles???? This is f**ked up word up! I guess that means Cena can reclaim his throne…. I was hoping for that alleged Buried Alive match at Payback…. let’s see how long Danny is out the game for… Kurt Angle Danny Bryan

RECORD SKIP – there’s now talk of Luke Harper and Erick Rowan possibly fighting the Usos for the tag team titles???? UH-OH!!! I sense the end of the Usos reign… let’s hope it’s not the case but either way it makes for good storyline!

You mean to tell me that after that victory by Cena & The Usos, Bray Wyatt is laughing about it and says ‘he realises what he must do’???? This is what I mean with Bray! You can’t just defeat him in a wrestling competition, you must DESTROY HIM COMPLETELY!!!!

Oh dear Evolution – dem mans are BEX!!! Triple TEEF with the long talk – ‘We gonna pick apart Dean Ambrose-uuuuuuuuh, then we gonna tear the wings from Seth Rollins-uuuuuuuh, then Roman Reigns is gonna get the slow beating-uuuuuuh! Because at Payback-uuuuuuuuh, it’s gonna be’ – SHUDDUP!!! The Shield rushed them again!!!! Batista is fuming! He wants to test Roman Reigns later!!! And he will probably get brukk up too! Why you bex for Batista? RZA & Raekwon have reached their agreements! The album will be completed!

Back to our Total Laydeez, now Natalya and Nikki are competing in a match because Natalya made a god-awful painting of Nikki and John, I thought it was a sweet gift but it’s led to a wrestling contest so here we go, the other ladies are rating the wrestling moves… cameramen what are you doing??? Get the cameras on Cameron! She got the new single out! What – Ray J is not there??? Shut up and tek de picture!

Nikki won the match… I suppose there is a penalty for giving a nice gift from the goodness of your heart…

 

When the rain comes down,

I know it’s falling for me, and only for me…

And the pain comes around, somewhere else I’d rather be,

I know what I’ve done, Please forgive me…

I bet that’s what’s going through Natalya’s head right now…

Damn son I’m trying to get into this Sheamus Vs Ryback match but I’m tired yo… where’s Paul Heyman to give me joke???

Ok I don’t get Heyman but I get Stephanie McMahon….. OH YEAH!!!!

Hang on, I think I get the picture…. she’s gonna take the titles from Danny… or maybe not…. oh sh!t!!! IT’S KAAAAAANE!!! He just drew Danny’s carcass out to the stage!! Oh lawwwd this means Brie is vulnerable!!!! She still has to come to work!!!!

Danny taken away in an ambulance, Stephanie going on like she’s sincere… Brie pushes her one side and did you see the look on Stephanie’s face???? I saw Vincent Kennedy…. Oh dear Brie I wouldn’t want to be you!!!!

Now this is the point where I cuss down Fandango to the ground because he stole my beautiful Layla… but if he’s fighting Dolph Ziggler then we have a common enemy… COME ON FANDANGO!!! DESTROY HIM!!!

OH F**K!!!! Layla might have cost Fandango the match here… well Layla, that’s what you get for dissin me…wait – Fandango LOVES YOU??? WHOA!!! He don’t love you like I do Layla…

Aiyo, he don’t really love you like I do
Kiss your feet, make love to you, like I do
Wake you up, in the night tank and surprise you
Cross my heart, swear, put my hand on the bible
I’m not a cold-blooded killa, baby, I cry too
The best thing for me is when I’m laying beside you
Turn you over, open up, get up inside you
He a woman beater, no doubt, and he lies too…

Yo what up Hacksaw Jim Duggan!!!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

F**K ME that Lana…she that chick that you f**k her with her clothes on…. if she doesn’t have a man, something seriously wrong with the world! Why hasn’t WWE got her on book signings in the UK damnit??!!!

So Lana sets Yusef on Hacksaw… he was ready to take him but Big E Langston thought – that ain’t happening… only to get brukk up…. damn, how many more black wrestlers gotta die??? First R-Truth, Xavier Woods, then Kofi, now Big E???? WTF???Racial man Racial!!!!

I’m glad that Sandow got rid of that Magneto sh!t…. they gave him back the mic to chat… Oh Cody Rhodes why did you interrupt him for? I was looking forward to Sandow to SILENCE!! the crowd!

Now we realise what Bray Wyatt is gonna do! Beat down Cena until he can no longer stand??? Last Man Standing…. Payback… OH MAN!!!!

Enough of that sh!t – Batista! Roman Reigns! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

Evolution and The Shield already at ringside – you already know this ain’t ending well…

…for Evolution!!! They tried to be teef and got half the locker room to rush the ring to beat down the Shield! But the Hounds of Justice sent for reinforcements of their own in the form of a steel chair each and beat down the jabronies! It was like power rangers beating down the puttys but militant style! Has Ryback got the record for most Shield powerbombs into the canvas??? He has to surely!!!

Well evolution hinted at a stipulation, I long to see what that could be and by the looks of those chairs how they were swung it could be a further hint… but damn, Danny Bryan out the game???? F***************K!!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

BDSIR Network

http://www.cageamateursuk.com/News.php