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Monday Night Raw #1197, May 2, 2016

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you’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own!!!!

I stand before you a man with a headache. You know those headache’s you actually enjoy, because you just celebrated history been made. Leicester’s premiership victory was like the Karate Kid fairytale. It was like the Redman & Method Man concert in Birmingham O2 Institute last week. It was like The Undertaker when he hit 21-0 against CM Princess Peach B!tch… (the sweetest streak victory in my opinion!) You know the women of Leicester are getting the most sex this week!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news, Roman Reigns is STILL your World Wrestling Federation Champion! And oh yeah – SHUDDUP!

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RAW #1197! By the way did I mention The Ryback is my favourite wrestler now??? HAHAHAHAHA GRANT BODY-P!

WWF PROPA TINGZStephanie you sexy as f**k but what’s in the bag? You bought the Infamous Informer something? a PS4 with Street Fighter V? You’re too kind!

Oh it’s for Shane… oh snap it’s that picture frame that Vincent Kennedy broke! Sheeeet – hang it up Shane (the picture that is!)

I don’t exactly understand why Kevin Owens wants to re-focus on the Intercontinental Championship… at the same time, I understand that Money Innah Bank soon come.

Where are the Gucci shoes Mr Cesaro??? Aaah sh!t he makes a case about been screwed out the Intercontinental Championship! LET’S DO THIS SH!T! Winner becomes #1 contender!

Don’t start the match yet – let me grab my pizzas from out the oven!

Oh dear – if The Miz & Maryse are gonna be so annoying at ringside, then no wonder Kevin Owens and Cesaro had to uppercut the glasses off Miz’s Money Maker! Sami Zany gets involved, then holds the Intercontinental Title in the air, and the spirit of Danny Bryan is felt in St Louis!

Meanwhile…Stephanie McMahon is seen flirting with Deano… and in the Ambrose Asylum… she says Deano can ask her anything… ANYTHING??? Deano rustling his hands like ‘now you’re talking’! GOD DAYUUUUUM! The first question I’d ask her.. is ‘can I get some pu$$y???’

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh hell naw they gonna team R-Truth with Tyler Battybwoy? I’m surprised Goldust doesn’t fancy him… Oh no he found a tag team partner… what a downgrade… Fandango went from Summer Rae… to an upgrade in Layla (which I might add – got Fandango on my bad side eternally) to Rosa Mendes, to Goldust???? This is the part where I take a long sheeeeet!

You can watch this video while I’m gone…

Yeah I know… random…

Due to Enzo being shut down temporarily, Big Cass becomes a New Day member for the week! That is cool! Now beat down these Vaudevillian fools! (the Dudley Boyz are not fools though…) It is a real shame that the tournament sponsored by Booty-Os got shut down like that.

This match is cool but where’s my favourite wrestler – The Ryback????!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

You know it would have been a mark out moment if Roman Reigns said ‘The question is, can the three of you take on the three of us?’ And instead of the Usos, Rollins and Ambrose appeared… but that can wait!

Oh snap! I wasn’t gonna write about this but Emma defeated Becky Lynch! WHOA! They are really changing sh!t up aren’t they!GRANT BODY PHENOM

HERE WE GO!!!!! This is what I came to see! Nope – not Ric Flair – not the Ryback – but the Ambrose Asylum! Do us proud Deano! Ask Steph the dirtiest questions!!!

Maybe he won’t… I mean… Renee Young though… and she wears a B.I.G. t-shirt…

Hmmm why is Stephanie acting so nice all of a sudden???? And is Deano playing mind games here?

Oh snap! Stephanie can’t cancel the Ambrose Asylum???? And she brought back the Highlight reel? But Steph – Jericho cusses you on a regular basis! Er… I don’t understand this!

FOR REAL! Titus O’Neill is back! He won’t touch Vincent Kennedy again! And there’s no League of Nations! and Baron Corbin enters the arena! There’s my champion! It would have been Titus but…

Battle Royal US title jump off! Winner fights Kalisto!

Hold up – Apollo Crews is in there! Er… I change my pick!

Wait a minute – Corbin is eliminated by Ziggler, and Apollo Crews eliminated by Sheamus… that makes things interesting!

Oh dear! Zack Ryder getting stamped out by the… can I call em League of Nations??? I could for about 20 seconds!

Ryder & Rusev – last guys in the battle royal! COME ON RUSEV! Don’t let this fool win! Rusev has DONE IT! Here comes Lana with her sexy @$$! Get back the title and start the second reign of terror!

Calling it now – Rusev defeats Kalisto… then John Cena comes back on Memorial Day because Lana & Rusev start calling the crowd ‘Stupid Americans!’ Just like that – Cena drops the AA on Rusev again and then the John Cena invitational starts again! Remember I told ya!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO! Turns out that Charles Robinson is apart of the Flair family! Lil’ Naitch! TEEEEEEEEF!!! It all comes together now! There’s something about that leggy Charlotte… ah that’s right – it IS her legs! You know I have a weakness for women with long legs! I gotta a song for you Charlotte and your long legs… it goes a lil something like this… bring your sexy legs here…

She keeps looking at me
So now she gon’ get it
She want it
And by the wonderful moaning
That makes a beautiful night, baby
What a beautiful life, baby!

GRANT BODY-P!

Uh oh – somebody is bex! I don’t think Nattie has come out to ch… or maybe she has… oh no she’s out to cuss Ric! Take it easy Nattie!

Why has Ric Flair took off his jacket???!!!! NO! Nattie put Ric in the sharpshooter! Watch his ticker! Because when the clock goes tick…

I smell an I Quit match between Nattie & Charlotte at the Extreme Rules joint! Don’t you!

Ok – I can ryde to a submission match… but Ric Flair banned from ringside? No Stephanie that’s preposterous! You need to re-think this!

Ok main event jump off! The Roman Empire Vs The Bullet Club! AAHHH SH!T It’s about to go down!

Bullet Club wins the ruckus! But Styles ain’t tryna use the steel chair! But he used it on the Usos! Roman saw it! Oh dear Styles you gonna get f**ked up!

OH SNAP!!! Roman sets Styles up, powerbomb through the table! BLAOW!!!! GOOD LORD! You don’t f**k with Roman’s fam!

Roman haters I put this to you… If you saw somebody beating on your family, would you or would you not snap and beat out that person’s blodclart? If you still boo Roman – YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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COMBAT  SPORT

 

Monday Night Raw #1148, May 25, 2015!!!

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The Infamous Informer

Since my computer decided to crash just before RAW, this week’s blog comes courtesy of WWE.Com.

Well now, what do I see? a Ronda Rousey interview??? Hmmm that seems to be an interesting read…

…and RAW takes place at Nassau Coliseum for the last time… Even Vincent Kennedy had to come out and give a shout out…

 

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OK enough of all that sh!t! On May 31, 2015, you will all bear witness, to the Elimination Chamber!!!! RAW #1147! Hold-Dat – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZThey still on this ‘new face of WWE crap???’ I guess WWE is still in that transitional period then…

So all Ambrose has to do is come down to the ring, and sign the contract for the WWE Title at the Chamber, bear in mind there is Rollins, J&J, Glenn, Stephanie and Triple Teef in the ring???? F**k it – I’d do it! J&J are heediat, Glenn is SAWFT (shout out to NXT) Stephanie has a mean slap (more of a turn on than a turn off) that Triple Teef though… if I see that hammer ME GARNE! Gotta make ninja moves!

OH SNAP!!!! That is injustice still! Roman coming down the stairs!!!!

I was ready to see ruckus until Stephanie sent for a Taaaag Teeeeam Match!! Teddy still doing the one foot skank!

Oh yes, it is Roman Reigns birthday! Glenn and Seth hoping to give birthday beatings! I bet some of the STC ladies not mentioning any names (Nicola) would love to clean the Roman penis!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Who am I? The Infamous Informer, The Daywalker! Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw! The foul-mouthed blogger of the Smack Talk Centre!!! RePPiN 4 Cage Amateurs UK and Radio presenter for KicFM & BDSIR Network! If you don’t know who you’re dealing with by now, YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM!

Amazing move by Rollins! Took the tag from Glenn, bounced off the top rope and dropped a flying knee Sagat style to Ambrose! TIGER!!!!

Rollins ran his mouth earlier about Ambrose ‘not in his league’…but Ambrose got Rollins with the backslide pin! Uh-Oh I have a feeling where this is going…

Oh dear Rusev still bex! What’s worse than losing at WrestleMania? Watching his woman kiss an American twice!!! THE GRANT SAYS – Rusev – you lucky it was Ziggler and not a ninja like me! Because once Lana goes Grant Body P, she will fall weak at the knees!

Luckily for Lana, The Grant has love for Naomi & Layla… Lana is temptation incarnate though!

Looks like Lana and Rusev are about to reconcile! She must have listened to the STC From The UK show when the Infamous Informer revealed that Ziggler is GAY!

Ok Lana, all you gotta do is tell Rusev those three words: I WAS WRONG! Yeah girl – you know you’re wrong! You turned traitor against Vladimir Putin and kissed an American! The ultimate betrayal!

Wait a minute…. Lana’s face change??? But Lana…. YOU’RE WRONG! Ziggler is not interested in you! He’s GAY!

Oh man! Rusev’s pimp game is tight! He owns Lana! He told her to get back in the ring! And so she does like a fool! WHOA! Where’s the baby powder at?

WHOA!!! Or maybe not! Lana just marched up to him and cussed down his clart!!! Lana used the Wu-Tang lyrical sword!!!! AND DROPPED THE MIC like her name was Chris Rock!

Maybe Rusev really did say ‘I Quit’ in Bulgarian… or he said something along those lines!

Look at Rusev’s face! She put the baby powder on him!!!! She told him! YOU DON’T OWN ME!!! Well The Grant Says – Lana, Vince McMahon has a contract that says otherwise!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Haha I can hear the IWC b!tching about this match… Ryback defeated King Barrett… they be like ‘Barrett should win every match now he’s the king… nah they ruining his charac-” OH SHUT YOUR MOUTH PUNK!

Er… who is Stephen Armel??? This Stardust kid just unleashed his dragon breath on him! Ooooh Stephen didn’t like that sh!t!!! I think Stephen wants to beat out his blodclart!

Now Bo Dallas wants to start trouble… reigniting the NXT rivalry…. and now they gotta match at the Chamber… you know what…. that match gonna be off the hook if the match is NXT standards!

I think Dallas is cheering on Neville! All he has to do is BO-Lieve!

…and he did! Red Arrow – BLAOW!!! Well that’s what happens when you spazz out at a fan with a ticket! Ask the PWL crew who start on the Infamous Informer! They end up losing their matches!

Another muthaf***!n match with Ziggler and Sheamus???? When will Ziggler ever learn…

Look at Lana.. she is so proud of her ‘new man’… I suppose love is blind! The Man is Ga…. oh forget it Lana… you’ll soon learn… uh-oh why has Rusev got a smile on his face???

Rusev ready to bait it up… Ziggler kicks him down, turns round – BLAOW!!!! Brogue kick to the face!!! IN YO FACE!!!! Sheamus win again!!! BEAUTIFUL!!!!

RUSEV – YOU ARE THE F**K!N MAN – OK!!! Beats up Ziggler, puts the Accolade on him, and tells Lana – KISS HIM NOW!!!! SUPERB!!!! Rusev – the SUPER ATHLETE!!!

Ok it’s about that time people! Cena’s US Title open challenge! You get the Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla… then Here Comes A New Challenger! Get Ready For The Next Battle…. Wack Ryder???? SERIOUSLY BRO? He must be still mad that Eve kissed up John Cena!!!! I mean GOD DAMN she was fine!!!

THAT’S HOW TO DO IT ZIGGLER! Cena is getting in that tongue!!!! Yo Gracie – you are a lucky muthaf***a! I used to have it bad for Eve… ahh the memories…

Hang on – ZACK RYDER – TEEEEEEEEF! He’s using the Entourage crew distract Cena so he can get the distraction roll up! Shadfather are you watching this????!!!

HAHAHA!!! Wack Ryder went for the 450 splash and missed!!!! Attitude Adjustment – BLAOW!! F**K YOU RYDER!!! (see what I did there???) I have no sympathy… Well done Cena! Eve should have come out and kicked Ryder in his d!ck again!!! That would have been great! I don’t care if it was Ryder’s home town of Long Island! F**k him and his stupid internet show!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Now you got those stupid internet muthaf***az at ‘PG Kills WWE’ FB group who want Cena to LOSE the US Title… they might be the most immature group I have come across. Some of their memes are funny, some are just plain IGNORANT. If you are a member of that group – LEAVE THAT BLODCLART. Bunch of kids! Don’t know their wrestling history and sh!t!

OH BLAST! Somebody clap Mike Cole across his head-side! The muthaf***!n Battle Royal was meaningless. Naomi was the TRUE #1 contender… NOT Paige… I hate when he says that sh!t! No wonder STC’s twitter handler Billal da VIPAH wants him fired… DO YOUR GOOGLES MUTHAF***A!

This RAW gets better!! And I mean that in a good way! Ziggler loses, then Ryder loses, now Paige loses to Tamina! YES! Everything’s going my way!!!!

Is it me or has Nikki Bella put hair extensions in her head top? Nikki, you gon lose that title and your hair! Naomi, you are looking sexier than ever… that yellow top you got on, those boots, tights… OOHHHHHHHH!

Wait a minute… 10 guys against 3 men??? Glenn that’s TEEEEEEEF! Saying that… didn’t a similar thing happen with The Shield??? Come on New Day! Use your positivity! You can beat them!

Oh no!!! Xavier Woods running his mouth and everyone rushed the ring!!!! That’s called positivity! Because New Day won the match by disqualification! Xcellent Xavier! You used your pHd skills!!!

The question remains: Why isn’t Vincent Kennedy concerned about the well-being of these 12 superstars inside a structure like the Elimination Chamber? What about protecting his investment??? Maybe he learned from last time…

So how come WWE.Com manage not to show why Ambrose got ‘arrested’? What the f**k did he do?? I never saw this live neither do I have time to catch up so tweet me @MZATheInfamous… I would prefer a stamped address envelope with your answer on it though…

When Triple Teef is in the ring saying sh!t like ‘I Am The Game-errrr…’ That’s INJUSTICE!!!! Roman Reigns is back!!!! beat down the Authority!

Look at Seth Rollins putting the boots on Reigns!!!! Stamping him out like he’s in a Mobb Deep video!

But wait…. the PO-PO???!!! Who called the PO-PO???!!! Is Triple gonna get arrested for being teef all these years??? TAKE HIM AWAY! He’s too TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!

Roman’s smiling!!! Maybe he called the cops!!! Little snitch!!!!

HOLY SH!T! Dean Ambrose!!! He got two night sticks on him! Big Boss Man would be so proud! The Authority gonna do time! HARD TIME!!!!

Ambrose beating them down! But the numbers game catch up with his blodclart! The nightstick on the canvas! Seth picks it up! OH SNAP – Roman takes it from him! Seth goose cook! And the ruckus continues! J&J back in it! Glenn back in it! But Roman – double spear to J&J – BLAOW!!!

Superman punch to Glenn! Ambrose hits the Dirty Deeds super move on Glenn – BLAOW!!!

It’s ON NOW!!!! Talk about a surprise PPV – it’s gonna be OFF THE HOOK!

OFFICIAL STC THEME FOR WWE ELIMINATION CHAMBER 2015:

It’s ON NOW!!!! Talk about a surprise PPV – it’s gonna be OFF THE HOOK!

OFFICIAL STC THEME FOR WWE ELIMINATION CHAMBER 2015:

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1115: October 6, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

It’s true Worst Comes to Worst my peoples come first… I gotta play Uncle duties, I had to look after my nephew while a family funeral is happening out-of-town. Which meant I missed RAW, and after what, two, three weeks of RAW foolishness, WWE pulls one out the hat when I’m not watching live??? DAMNIT, DAMNIT! DAMNIT!!!!!

This is my version of the events as according to WWE.Com. RAW #1115! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZSince when did you become a 2Pac fan Seth Rollins? All Eyes On Me, Me Against the World Sh!t???!!! All my enemies wanna kill me??!!! Thug Life Tattooed on my Belly??!!! He claims he loves it… well yeah – because you haven’t got BUSS ARSE yet that’s why!

Well Seth is either a 2Pac fan or a fan of Catwoman! This guy must have more lives than that b!tch! Every time Cena or Ambrose tries to get at him his legs did run! But not this time! Running into the crowd… what was The Shield known for apart from beating muthaf***az into the table? Yes – coming through the crowd – and that’s exactly what Ambrose did!

That’s it! BEAT HIM!!!! Oh goddamnit who sent the stooges down to break it up??? Hey Seth! Ever thought of running the 100 metres? I believe you can beat Usain Bolt!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Word on the street is that idiot Ziggler lost his Intercontinental Championship Belt at the airport… So irresponsible! Vince – FIRE HIS B!TCH @$$!!! You got money to recuperate damnit!

…and that’s the man you IWC b!tches want to become WWE Champion? It’s never gonna happen now – the fool lost the IC Belt!

OH SNAP!!!!! Ziggler & the Usos – triple kick in the kisser of Stardust – BLAOW!!!! His full set of teeth should be coming out of his @$$ by now!

Oh no it’s ok – he found it… where do you IWC jabronies get your info from? STOP READING THE DYAM DIRT SHEETS!

What the f**k does Adam Rose look like? I’m sorry – I can’t support him… he looks like a battyman vampire! I shall speak no more about this.

WHAT? NO! Bo Dallas defeats my don Mark Henry again??? I mean this time Henry had criminal intentions… he wanted to f**k up Dallas this time, setting up the announce table and sh!t… I say do it anyway! And say – THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!

Be patient Henry… you’ll get him!

Hmmm… amusing…Cena says that he sees in Ambrose what no one else has: GUTS… why did he not say ‘ATTITUDE’??? I’m jussaying… Shout out to the attitards!!!

So STC’s Ian Cooper was right!!!! Cena Vs Ambrose at the Hell in the Cell PPV with the winner facing Seth Rollins? What do you make of that people??? I’ll tell you what – tune in this week on BDSIR NETWORK – STC From The UK Sat 1am UK time, 8pm EST!

“You said you could beat me with one hand tied behind your back…. COME ON HOT SHOT!!!” (Vince McMahon to Stone Cold Steve Austin, April 1998)

10469748_10204537437416929_5824888263508120328_nWell Brie Bella thought she could try the same thing against Summer Rae. With my sexy Layla on her side, surely Summer Rae can’t go wrong, right?

WRONG!!!!! I can’t believe you Summer! I thought you had skills? Disappointed ain’t the word!!!

Big ups to Brie though…. she’s keeping the YES movement alive! Her music is still wack though… I gotta go in the lab and find a suitable theme song for her… since I don’t fancy Brie like I do Layla, Rosa, Naomi, Lillian, Stephanie… it will take me a while to find that track…

How is Tyson Kidd gonna use Natalya as a shield to get away from Wack Swagger? What sort of stupidness is that???

HAHAHA! Tyson Kidd getting the better of Swagger and Tyson is like – HI FIVE Nattie! Natalya just kissed her teeth and walked away!!!

Big ups to Roman Reigns he’s on the mend… but let’s be real… that was a waste of satellite TV!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh snap! It’s Vladamir Putin’s Birthday! SALUTE THIS MAN!!!! Or maybe not…..

Vladimir_Putin_-_2006

HA! HA! HA! HA! Lana don’t give me joke! The Big Show should be in prison like all of us???!!! For desecrating the Russian Flag? OH SH!T!!! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! We committed a hate crime!!!! Wait a minute – Lana baby girl – haven’t you being hating on the Americans for months now????!!!

I’m not American, but I would chant USA! Just to hear Lana say SHUT-UP!!! It turns me on….!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Er… Rusev…. if Big Show has been suspended, why you calling him out so you can crush him???? Er… anybody in there??? (knocking your head to check if there is a brain in there!)

NOW THIS IS WHAT I HEARD ABOUT!!! The past few weeks, I’ve been yawning my @$$ off at RAW and watching Babestation at the same time. The ONE WEEK I miss Raw due to family commitments, and THE ROCK appears on RAW???!!! Did you IWC jabronies pick this up in the dirt sheets??? You think Lana is getting wet…. with perspiration???

Hit the link below after the jump:

The Rock went to Queens, Manhattan, The Bronx!!! That’s what I love about this dude – he knows his Hip Hop Origins!!!! That’s why I’m like – F**k The Rock haters!

Whoa -whoa- whoa – Rock??!!! You had one last borough to go to? You forgot Staten Island homes???? The home of A Better Tomorrow! In stores on Warner Bros records December 2, 2014!!!!!

This is the part where the crowd should be chanting – WU-TANG! WU-TANG! WU-TANG! WU-TANG!!!!

15,000+ strong in Brooklyn chanting HOLY SH!T! HOLY SH!T! HOLY SH!T!!!! upon Rock’s presence!

Look at The Rock looking up and down at Lana… do you think he’s gonna ‘fix his jeans’???

What the hell was Rusev blubbering on about??? – IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT HE THINKS!!!!

OH SNAP!!! The Rock just quoted Jay-Z!!!! STC member Richard Selby is gonna love this!!!!

The Rock just slapped the sh!t out of Rusev!!!! He should have fixed his jeans to Lana though!!!!

You should have never told The Rock to Shut Up Lana! Now he got #SovietStreetWalker trending on twitter! Oh dear you know bad mouthing The Rock is baaaad news!!!

Right these are Anthony Benigno’s words: Not mine!

“With Alicia Fox now holding the coveted title of Paige’s Best Friend, it was only a matter of time before The Diva of Tomorrow and her batty BFF teamed up in an official capacity to torment the reigning Divas Champion, AJ Lee.”

I have an idea what ‘batty’ means over in the states, but in Jamaican terms batty means bottom, @$$.. backside… that sort of thing. you put ‘man’ at the end of batty and well a picture of Adam Rose or Darren Young or Dolph Ziggler will appear in the dictionary!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

What the rarse is this Emma doing? All this dancing nonsense? This ain’t Strictly Come Dancing fool??!!! This ain’t ballet?!!! This is WWE woman!!!! Look at AJ Lee… frustrated and sh!t… a fine woman like that should not be frustrated???????!!!!!

So w’happen, has Cesaro & Miz switched dance partners? Now The Miz could be fighting Sheamus for the US Title, while Cesaro could be fighting Ziggler for the IC? Meanwhile the crowd love Damien Sandow! Expect a face turn from Sandow somewhere down the road. The fans love his ‘stunt double’ antics!

Right IWC! F**k what you think you know. Last week, you assumed that Luke Harper is going solo… This week, that cryptic promo was as f**ked up as they come with Eric Rowan! The GRANT SAYS THIS: Don’t try to work it out… and that pregnant vision was mad disturbing… I think that all it is, is that the Wyatt Man dem have put extra creativity behind them… and it’s worries for everyone in the mid-card division at least!

You see what happen when you farce yourself in next man business Cena? Now Ambrose has gone to get a hot dog or two… and you’re there getting timberland boot stomped out by Randall, Seth and Glenn…

Wait a minute – I thought Ambrose went for a hot dog? He’s back and he’s brought the cart with him!!! I guess Cena, Glenn, Randall & Seth are hungry too… all that wrestling they be doing…

Oh hang on!!! He got ketchup & mustard as his artillery? Er… Randall… Glenn… turn back! You don’t want none of that!

Told ya!!! My fallen hero Kane & the evil Randall went from setting people on fire and ‘killing legends’ to being squirted with mustard & ketchup… To quote The Streets: Has It Come To This????

Oh lawwwd that must sting! Ambrose throwing a hot tub of onions over Rollins backbone!!! You know the onions have ben in that hot oil and sh!t!!!

OH SNAP!!!!! Ambrose use the spatula thing and clamped Rollins in his seedbag! Oh that’s it now – Sex life DUN!!!

Since I never saw this live, I can’t exactly judge this show… what I can say though… is The Rock’s appearance alone makes RAW automatically was better than the past two or three weeks… and I suppose WWE knew their ratings were in trouble… so they hit the emergency glass button! THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED!

RUSEV & LANA: Shame on you, when you step through to – the Ol’ Dirty Bastard – BROOKLYN ZOO!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1101: June 30, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! WHOEVER LOSES, I WIN!!!

Yes John Cena! 15 times World Wrestling Federation Undisputed Champion!!!! It’s the way he won the titles as well, he hardly did anything in the match, he lay down for like 25 minutes in the match… then he dropped his super move on Kane & Randall, climbed the ladder, and the way he smiled at the camera when he took the titles… let’s be real – THAT WAS F**KED UP!!!

Shout out to WWE for ruining the Summerslam main event – John Cena Vs Brock Lesnar for the title…why the rarse did you release the poster before Munny Inna Bank start? But wait guys!!! CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE. But don’t bank on it like the PPV!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Enough of that sh!t, we must move on. I got my pringles, my galaxy chocolate cookie crumble, my supermalt, I got strawberry ice cream for later, jaffa cakes… I’m ready for this sh!t, are you??? RAW #1101! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZWord on the street is there is a returning ‘WWE champion’ in the hiz-house! Uh-oh… I can see the Philippa Brooks fans getting the Vaseline out…. oh jesus…

Uh-oh Triple Teef & Stephanie have a smile on their face… why the f**k is the crowd chanting Phillipa’s name? Yeah stop living in the past like Stephanie said!

Here comes the new World Wrestling Federation Champion! Ok you attitards don’t all rush to the toilet at once! Rub it in their face Cena! 15 times rude boy!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Cena is hoping to give Danny another opportunity to fight for the title! OH NO! Cena is on the cover of WWE2K15!!! It just gets better!!!! Stephanie dropping two foot to Cena’s music! I’m telling you! Stephanie is a hip hop head!!!

WWE2K15

But you’re not a hip hop head Triple Teef!!! Don’t talk that hip hop sh!t!!!! HA! HA! HA! Don’t give me joke!

Triple just gave Cena that same choice that Vincent Kennedy asked Austin! You want the easy way or the hard way!

Well the hard way it is! Fatal Four Way jump off at Battleground! Cena Vs Roman Reigns Vs Randall Orton Vs my hero Kane!!! And if Cena becomes superman that night as usual, Triple will draw for his Plan B: Seth Rollins!!!

So after what happened at Munny Inna Bank, maybe Dean Ambrose will go after Kane either somewhere down the road or at Summerslams! Don’t mind me I’m just doing the science…

Word up, I’m gonna tweet Stephanie and ask her what tunes she’s into… don’t believe me? WATCH!

Seth Rollins – I am finding it hard to hate you…. you are still the don! We are treated to another contest with him and RVD!

Who tried to tell me that Seth Rollins Curb Stomp super move was weak? That’s right it was Ian Cooper! GET IN THE CHAIR!!!!!

WROOOOOOOOOY!!!! Everytime Seth Rollins is about to cash his cheque, Dean Ambrose will appear and f**k him up!!! So what if it’s Cody Rhodes Vs Damian Sandow over again from last year….but with more INTENSITY and more MILITANT!!

UH-OH!!! here comes Rusev!!!! Fly that flag in celebration! Rusev – don’t you have thought of f**k!n Lana??? You must do surely!

Who will be America’s next failure??? OH NO! It’s that bastard Swagger and Zeb SAM_3287Colter! They represent everything about America and go against muthaf**az crossing the borders!

Is it me or is Lana laughing at Zeb Colter’s promo?

I guess Colter has thrown away his deportation list! He sees the big picture! Don’t think for one single SOLITARY SECOND that I will support Colter & Swagger just because they just turned face. They still disrespect MY PEOPLE! We The People? The Grant Says ‘WE, THE TIMBERLAND BOOT UP YOUR B!TCH @$$!!!’

The Usos entrance gotta be one of my favourites right now! Everything they say comes from the heart and then the pyro – BLAOW!!! Not only will they be in WWE 2K15, but hopefully The Wyatt Family’s entrance with the audience with their cell phones on! Big up to Jerry Lawler telling JAY-BEE to put his phone down!

Haha! You jabronies may not like JAY-BEE & Mike Cole not calling the match but instead talking about the dirty clothes of Luke Harper…BUT I DO… so F**K YOU!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

I’ve come to the conclusion that this ‘Whole World In His Hands’ thing depends on the crowd. See in certain cities they will sing that sh!t!!!! Other cities they are as dead as Fandango when I get my hands on him for kissing up my Layla!

Damn Nikki, they treating you bad because Brie sacrificed herself??? You gotta fight my girls by yourself? Oh well Nikki… good luck!!!

Since you jabronies have started sh!tt!ng on the WWE2K15 cover… maybe I should join in and see what it’s like to be a IWC b!atch… maybe Bo Dallas should be on the cover!!! I mean, he inspires millions the world over! All you gotta do is BO-LIEVE DAMNIT!

I’ll tell you this – Total Divas Season 3 gonna be MAAAAD if Stephanie and Brie’s storyline gets involved in the script!

Why have I got this feeling that Nikki WILL WIN this handicap match because Miss Girl Bye-Bye is acting a fool??? Oh forget it… They won but Miss Girl Bye-Bye is still acting a fool. What happened to U.N.I.T.Y. ladies?

Well ain’t that a b!tch… I’M AFRAID I GOT SOME BAD NEWS… Wade Barrett out the game with a shoulder injury… the Intercontinental championship is vacant. Shadfather says The I.C. Title is cursed, Mia Bonita says SmackDown is cursed, THE GRANT SAYS WADE BARRETT WAS CURSED EVER SINCE HE BURIED THE UNDERTAKER ALIVE IN 2010!!! You see? If Undertaker doesn’t get you in the physical, he’ll get you in the mental and spiritual. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Battle Royal jump off at Battleground for the Intercontinental Title… Well The Grant Says I have a feeling who is gonna win that… I’m gonna hold my tongue for now.

You what? Kofi Kingston defeated Cesaro during the commercial break? Now we back on and Cesaro beating down de black man? RACIAL MAN RACIAL!!!!!

This is f**ked up – is it because Cesaro knows Switzerland are gonna get knocked out the World Cup? Nah man – I like my Cesaro but Kofi has to go postal and beat down Cesaro like he did Randall!

YES! VINCENT KENNEDY!!!! Er wait a minute… that’s not VINCENT KENNEDY!!! That’s SANDOW KENNEDY! Oh hell naw!!! Hang on his impression might be good…

Oh dear Stephanie is not too happy!!!! She gonna send someone after Sandow for impersonating Vincent Kennedy…. NOT THE NOT SO GREAT KHALI!!! And he won as well! OH MY GOD NO! One chop to Sandow’s head top – BLAOW! Shadfather turn your head! I think he did quite well! What’s up Steph? Time of the month? You need some Infamous cocky with those vitamins girl???!!!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

The former WWE Champion is here! The Miz!!! Thank you Felix Pizarro for spoiling it for us! GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

He was filming The Marine 4? Wait a minute – wasn’t Summer Rae in that film too? And I’m sure he’s taking shots at The Rock here talking about Hollywood and turning his back… sounds like The Miz is embodying that role again! He’s out to main event WrestleMania…. boring….boring…bor-

BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!!!! BUMBACLART!!!! JERICHO???!!!!! LAWD HAVE MERCY!!!! Not one, but TWO former WWE Champions! How I laugh at one of the guys on Perfect Plex Radio who said Jericho was out with Fozzy… you can NEVER believe anything Jericho says!

Yeah talk sh!t now Miz – PPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! Jericho just punched the Miz through school buses!

HOLD UP!!!! The Wyatt Man dem!!!! They just brukk up Jericho!!! This is gonna be an EPIC storyline! Suddenly I am looking forward to Battleground! Money In The What???? In one fell swoop, RAW is BETTER than the PPV!

Now time for my baby girl Layla doing her ting! Forget about Fandumbgay – I’ll F**K HIM UP! WWE book it – Fandumb!tch@$$ Vs the Infamous Informer at Summerslam!

Now the ponce is fighting another ponce in Dolph Ziggler… say what? Summer Rae offered a truce to Layla??? I don’t like the smell of Summer Rae’s pum-pum…black man loves his fried fish but not if it’s rancid as Summer Rae!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WTF is this??? Now Summer Rae is sticking her tongue down Ziggler’s throat???? URRRRGHHH DIRTY RATCHET!

See I said that this Stardust and Goldust was just a phase leading to the Summerslam Rhodes clash… but I dunno… because they are over with the crowd! I saw this match with them and Rybaxel on Munny Inna Bank, so I ain’t watching it again f**k that!

One thing worth noting – why are the crowd chanting FEED ME MORE at Ryback now???

Why do Goldust and Stardust look like they are in love with each other? I suppose you’re all off the hook Razor Ramon, Piper and especially Ahmed Johnson!

Are there still haters on Paige saying she should go back to NXT? BACKFOOT!!! AJ LEE IS BACK TOO??? MONEY IN THE WHAT???!!!

You mean to tell me that AJ Lee returns and all you b!tches can chant is CM Punk??? You wait til I go on radio… that’s all I’m saying!!!

Backside – we gonna get a rematch! AJ LEE! PAIGE! DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH! HERE WE GO!!!

AND IT’S ALL OVER!!! SMALL PACKAGE DEFEATS PAIGE!!! AJ LEE – NEW DIVAS CHAMPION!!!! DROP THE BOMB ON EM!!!

Can you believe that after all we just seen, we have come to the main event! And that Triple TEEF is at ringside! There might be a sledgehammer nearby watch out!

Look at Roman Reigns embracing the audience and that Triple TEEF looking at him!!! It’s almost like Triple Vs The Rock all over again!

UH-OH!!! my hero Kane is out to destroy Cena! So that Seth can cash his cheque! Tombstone Cena into the concrete – BLAOW! But don’t forget – Ambrose WILL f**k up Seth! REMEMBER ME TELL YUH!

LOOK W’HAPPEN NOW! Ambrose came to brukk him up! But then Reigns with the spear to Kane again – BLAOW! Then the stare down between Reigns and the evil, EVIL, TRIPLE TEEF!!!! THIS IS AWESOME? THIS IS MUTHAF***K!N DAN! Like I could live through Roman Reigns warrioristically, I don’t give a damn if that word don’t exist! The road to Summerslam has begun people!

OFFICIAL STC THEME TUNE FOR WWE BATTLEGROUND 2014!

GRANT BODY – P!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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