Tag Archives: Luke Harper

Monday Night Raw #1126, December 22, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

WWE is truly like Christmas: as a kid, you are mad excited, tossing and turning in the bed and sh!t, waking up your whole fam as soon as it hits daylight to open those presents… as an adult, all you do whine and complain like a B!TCH! WWE puts on a Christmas show for the kids, and you whine and complain? This is the part where I don’t consider myself a wrestling fan. I’m disgusted with you all. You make me sick. You are not worthy of reading this. F**k that – if you don’t like it, read it anyway! (Shout out to Mike Knoxxx!!)

Tiz’ Da Seazon To Be Jolly! Now nyam yuh turkey and SHUDDUP!!! RAW! #1126! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZSOURCE: WWE.COM

I didn’t watch live due to family commitments so lets see what WWE wants me to see…

So out of Ho Ho Hogan’s sack we got Big Show Vs Roman Reigns, remember Big Show, you gotta make him look strong now!

We got Bray Wyatt Vs Dean Ambrose in a ‘Miracle on 34th Street Fight’… if the Royal Rumble wasn’t coming up I would recommend a three stages of hell match between these two lunatics…

What the rarse does Cena want? Don’t tell me he wants to sit on Hogan lap…

What? Seth Rollins wants to sit on Hogan’s lap as well??? I don’t think Hogan’s leg pythons can handle the weight!

The only man to bring the Authority back is John Cena… damnit Cena BRING THEM BACK!!! Robbing the fans of seeing sexy Stephanie… and those Triple TEEF interviews I like to see every Wednesday, SORT IT OUT CENA!

But first! Cena Vs Rollins… and his stooges! After a great contest, Cena picks up the victory… that’s gonna please STC’s Curtis Geensen…. his favourite Warrior Princess prevails again! (You think he secretly fancies John???)

GRANT BODY – P!!!

You mean to tell me you let Fandango beat yuh??? When will you fools be real with me and admit??? I wanna see you on your crusty knees and say this: ‘Grant, you are right… Swagger is WACK!!!’ It’s ok… I’ll forgive you for your insolence… maybe…

OH NO! Exotic Express shut down!!! Of all the times Adam Rose has partied, he chose the festive season to be a Grinch… R-Truth showed him What’s Up, and now Adam Rose is beating on the bunny big time! Look at the women in the express! They’re in shock! There’s still a party over here ladies! On the plus side, it’s about time we got to see Adam Rose use his real skills properly… stop this nonsense and let’s see what you can really do… LEO KRUGER!!!

(side note, I couldn’t care less… just bring the Express ladies to me…. GRANT BODY – P!!!)

Remember what I said Big Show?? You gotta make Roman look strong!!! Do you think he was successful people? a count-out victory??? I’m sure I said something like – Big Show & Roman Reigns might be the last 2 in the rumble… in case you haven’t figured it out, I’m taking the p!$$ out of you Roman Reigns haters… the more you run him down… the more I’m gonna support him! Same goes for Cena… Yeah I said it! I’m more of a Reigns fan than Cena… I truly sick of the hating and whining…

Hmmm I kinda like Brie Bella’s attire…tell that b!tch to come here??? Let me rip what’s left of that outfit! Sorry Danny… your woman is fine…

Did Brie just blow a kiss to Tyson Kidd???? She can’t do that???!!!! Yo Danny – Talk to your girl yo!!!! That ain’t good!

And for no reason… let’s throw a pic of Natalya as the attire she wrestles in now…f**k that – it’s Christmas damnit!

Natalya Christmas

Gotta show those thighs Natalya!!!!

HA! HA! Yes Luke Harper! Lick him down! About he’s lifting up his Intercontinental Title Belt! F**k the introduction!!! BEAT DOWN ZIGGLER! Don’t let me down this time Harper! In fact – f**k that – what would Bray Wyatt think???

Dayum Harper is killing Ziggler in that ring! Keep going! Get the title!!!! Harper the TITLE!!!!

Was that me or was Mike Cole stepping up his commentary game??? Yo Billal of the STC – I think Mike Cole heard ya!

Sh!t… Ziggler’s coming back… he still has a conscience…. (Anime/Urotsukidoji fans will understand this pic…)

Faust Urotsukidoji 2BASTARD!!!! Two super kicks followed by a Zig-Zag, and Harper couldn’t get up from that! CURSES!!!! DAMN YOU ZIGGLER!!! You just gone and ruined Christmas!!!

Now THIS IS THE SH!T I’m waiting for! Lana & Rusev pon Piper Pit!!! Let’s see Lana tell Rowdy Roddy Piper to SHUT-TUP!

Wait a minute… Piper has a gift for Rusev & Lana? Well I’m not sure about Rusev but I have a ‘gift’ for Lana!!! All she gotta do is lift her tight skirt up, move panties to the side and let the music tell the story as I Put It In her Putin!

Draw down yuh draws and bend dung, skin out gyal meh want put it in deh!!!
How you caan brukk off di hood suh? Skin out gyal meh want put it in deh!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

OH SNAP – That’s the present??? Ryback complete with a bow tie??? That leaves Lana vulnerable!!! Use di Hot Rod Piper!!! Actually bad idea – Goldust is back there – I remember what happened in 1996!

Now if I was the booker I would have had Goldust come back out on Piper’s Pit and start the rivalry again!!! HA! HA!

OHHHHHHH!!! Oh my goodness! Summer Rae, Cameron, Alicia Fox, Emma, and especially Naomi they look HOTTTT in those Santa’s helper outfits!!! (er what about Pai-) MOVE YUH BACKSIDE!!! I’m sorry – I don’t find a pale @$$ zombie looking like she come from that film -World War Z attractive!

Why are you fools chanting for Paige??? Seriously you guys have gotta sit me down and convince me why Paige is hot… you got 20 seconds….. SHE’S NOT!!!!SAM_3844

She calls herself an ‘anti-diva’ but she finds herself on Total Divas??? The show that YOU DON’T SUPPORT?!!!! Ok – when she’s on a show getting naked – don’t say SH!T to me… OK???

What sort of move was that by Alicia Fox???? That’s a bad gyal move!!! Cameron ain’t getting up from that sh!t!!!

Do you think Bray Wyatt celebrates Christmas??? Can you imagine him doing Christmas shopping in Merry Hill? No, me either…

Who has been wrapping steel chairs in those presents under the tree??? Dean Ambrose is the Christmas spirit alright!!!

No!!! Bray you can’t do that! That’s the Kitchen Table! How are the Wyatt family gonna eat? You just threw Dean Ambrose on the table….

You know what some idiot said on a wrestling group on FB? (Not naming them as it’s publicity for them – ) he said, he’s fed up of Ambrose in these type of matches… he wants to see Ambrose in a wrestling match…. f**k!n idiot! Now I’m starting to think you fans is gay…. always want ‘wrestling matches’…. I’m only interested in wrestling my woman on the mattress!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Ambrose just lost to Wyatt… but that don’t mean sh!t!!!! Him nah dun!!! Climbs top ropes, elbow drop into Wyatt on the table – BLAOW!!!!

THE GRANT SAYS: Considering I watched this on WWE.Com, it wasn’t really that bad as far as a Christmas show goes… it could have been mad cornier than that… but f**k that – next week, we got Edge & Christian in the house! Y’all best get your HiPhones and Samsung Galaxys ready for that sh!t!!!

WWE Christmas Divas

It’s Christmas!!!! Gimme some of that Good Ol’ Love!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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BDSIR Networkwww.cageamateursuk.com

 

Monday Night Raw #1094: May 12, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

Since WWE likes to sign up new divas for a development deal, they might be interested in this one! Name: Solange Knowles… she put her boots to Jay-Z’s Candy @$$! Blows up Facebook, everybody put it pon dem wall like they found the breaking news… but what I wanna know is: WHY? Why did Solange spazz out on Jay and Beyoncé just stood there… what did Jay do??? People quick to post it because they jumped on the bandwagon of hating Jay-Z. You sheeple are foolish! (Oh you’re defending Illum-) STOP YOUR NOISE! You’re the ones with your sheep masks following the buzzards!

And that story overshadowed the fact that Chef Raekwon is heading to the studio to lace some verses for Wu-Tang’s A Better Tomorrow album….

ENOUGH OF THIS SH!T – Isn’t Raw in the UK this week? I dare you Zeb – come to our shores… I’M BEGGIN YA!!!

RAW #1094, HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZI guess we’re not in the UK… F**K the long talk! The Shield are like – Is that all you got Evolution? We are gonna straight – F**K YOU UP!!!

And that’s what they set out to do! As soon as Triple come out his limo, The Shield rushed him and his crew!!! LAWD HAVE MERCY!!!

Oh no that muthaf***a has got that muthaf***!n deportation list again, now he’s added Adam Rose on that list and look what happen… here he comes with his party crew, and f**ked it up for Wack Swagger! I’ve just learned that this Adam Rose dude is British as well… the STC are on split feelings on this one! I notice no one is on that We The People sh!t…. if only they listened to me, but NOOOOOOOO!!! I’m just a black man who doesn’t care about the Chris B£^@!+ sh!t…

Here comes Paige… one of the people Zeb Colter doesn’t like…. I look at you all in disgust!

GRANT - BODY - P

Alicia Fox is out to f**k up Paige isn’t she??? Claims she doesn’t fit in… well durrrr!!! Paige will tell you she doesn’t fit in, because she’s the Anti Diva! She ain’t gonna look pretty like say Eva Marie and have no skills… Because she HAS skills brings sexual appeal to a lot of the STC guys! She still doesn’t stimulate me… I’m sorry!

All those power moves Alicia, and Paige out wrestles your @$$??? Damn girl! Kicking up a fuss ain’t gotta do sh!t, go back and fix up! And I don’t mean taking off with JAY-BEE’s cowboy hat and gone with it!

Tell me it’s not so…. did the Authority win the war after all that? Danny Bryan has to go away for neck surgery…ain’t that a b!tch… what does this mean? Has he gotta give up his titles???? This is f**ked up word up! I guess that means Cena can reclaim his throne…. I was hoping for that alleged Buried Alive match at Payback…. let’s see how long Danny is out the game for… Kurt Angle Danny Bryan

RECORD SKIP – there’s now talk of Luke Harper and Erick Rowan possibly fighting the Usos for the tag team titles???? UH-OH!!! I sense the end of the Usos reign… let’s hope it’s not the case but either way it makes for good storyline!

You mean to tell me that after that victory by Cena & The Usos, Bray Wyatt is laughing about it and says ‘he realises what he must do’???? This is what I mean with Bray! You can’t just defeat him in a wrestling competition, you must DESTROY HIM COMPLETELY!!!!

Oh dear Evolution – dem mans are BEX!!! Triple TEEF with the long talk – ‘We gonna pick apart Dean Ambrose-uuuuuuuuh, then we gonna tear the wings from Seth Rollins-uuuuuuuh, then Roman Reigns is gonna get the slow beating-uuuuuuh! Because at Payback-uuuuuuuuh, it’s gonna be’ – SHUDDUP!!! The Shield rushed them again!!!! Batista is fuming! He wants to test Roman Reigns later!!! And he will probably get brukk up too! Why you bex for Batista? RZA & Raekwon have reached their agreements! The album will be completed!

Back to our Total Laydeez, now Natalya and Nikki are competing in a match because Natalya made a god-awful painting of Nikki and John, I thought it was a sweet gift but it’s led to a wrestling contest so here we go, the other ladies are rating the wrestling moves… cameramen what are you doing??? Get the cameras on Cameron! She got the new single out! What – Ray J is not there??? Shut up and tek de picture!

Nikki won the match… I suppose there is a penalty for giving a nice gift from the goodness of your heart…

 

When the rain comes down,

I know it’s falling for me, and only for me…

And the pain comes around, somewhere else I’d rather be,

I know what I’ve done, Please forgive me…

I bet that’s what’s going through Natalya’s head right now…

Damn son I’m trying to get into this Sheamus Vs Ryback match but I’m tired yo… where’s Paul Heyman to give me joke???

Ok I don’t get Heyman but I get Stephanie McMahon….. OH YEAH!!!!

Hang on, I think I get the picture…. she’s gonna take the titles from Danny… or maybe not…. oh sh!t!!! IT’S KAAAAAANE!!! He just drew Danny’s carcass out to the stage!! Oh lawwwd this means Brie is vulnerable!!!! She still has to come to work!!!!

Danny taken away in an ambulance, Stephanie going on like she’s sincere… Brie pushes her one side and did you see the look on Stephanie’s face???? I saw Vincent Kennedy…. Oh dear Brie I wouldn’t want to be you!!!!

Now this is the point where I cuss down Fandango to the ground because he stole my beautiful Layla… but if he’s fighting Dolph Ziggler then we have a common enemy… COME ON FANDANGO!!! DESTROY HIM!!!

OH F**K!!!! Layla might have cost Fandango the match here… well Layla, that’s what you get for dissin me…wait – Fandango LOVES YOU??? WHOA!!! He don’t love you like I do Layla…

Aiyo, he don’t really love you like I do
Kiss your feet, make love to you, like I do
Wake you up, in the night tank and surprise you
Cross my heart, swear, put my hand on the bible
I’m not a cold-blooded killa, baby, I cry too
The best thing for me is when I’m laying beside you
Turn you over, open up, get up inside you
He a woman beater, no doubt, and he lies too…

Yo what up Hacksaw Jim Duggan!!!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

F**K ME that Lana…she that chick that you f**k her with her clothes on…. if she doesn’t have a man, something seriously wrong with the world! Why hasn’t WWE got her on book signings in the UK damnit??!!!

So Lana sets Yusef on Hacksaw… he was ready to take him but Big E Langston thought – that ain’t happening… only to get brukk up…. damn, how many more black wrestlers gotta die??? First R-Truth, Xavier Woods, then Kofi, now Big E???? WTF???Racial man Racial!!!!

I’m glad that Sandow got rid of that Magneto sh!t…. they gave him back the mic to chat… Oh Cody Rhodes why did you interrupt him for? I was looking forward to Sandow to SILENCE!! the crowd!

Now we realise what Bray Wyatt is gonna do! Beat down Cena until he can no longer stand??? Last Man Standing…. Payback… OH MAN!!!!

Enough of that sh!t – Batista! Roman Reigns! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

Evolution and The Shield already at ringside – you already know this ain’t ending well…

…for Evolution!!! They tried to be teef and got half the locker room to rush the ring to beat down the Shield! But the Hounds of Justice sent for reinforcements of their own in the form of a steel chair each and beat down the jabronies! It was like power rangers beating down the puttys but militant style! Has Ryback got the record for most Shield powerbombs into the canvas??? He has to surely!!!

Well evolution hinted at a stipulation, I long to see what that could be and by the looks of those chairs how they were swung it could be a further hint… but damn, Danny Bryan out the game???? F***************K!!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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The Infamous Informer

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