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The Jobber Blogger #103 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – SACRIFICE – 27/4/14

by DiVineDiablo

Jobber-Blogger-logo2

The Jobber Blogger

I would like to start out with a Heart Felt “Thank You”, for your over whelming and out-pouring Birthday Wishes for me this past Monday. And by over-whelming, I mean… One.

But that one tickles my Senses like Spider-Man falling face first into a pit of Villains coats… and they had knifes and sowing kits within their hidden pockets! Scary stuff!

Yes TNA Sacrifice has been and gone, I am starting to feel like the names are “fine”, but they don’t really offer anything to say… “Sacrifice”. Maybe it’s time to shake things up and find a “Theme” for PPV’s such as these. Say a new “King of the Mountain” type of Match where the World Champion has the Deck stacked, and what would he, and his opponents “Sacrifice” for that Gold. IE their body, with crazy moves.

Crazy moves sums up Sacrifice, another Solid Bell to Bell PPV from TNA. Sure it has some “odd things” within it, but overall, TNA’s problem is never it’s product, the product is always good!

Sacrifice Logo

 TNA: SACRIFICE – 27/4/14

 Did you expect me to end the opening Paragraph rant with “the product is always good!”. Because I certainly didn’t. Speaking of me not certainly doing, didn’t, anything. I shall get back to that later!

Yes I decided to throw my face into my Hat and come out with some “Predictions”. So The Jobber Blogger shall play along as I told how stupid I was, and how awesomely right I am!

 The Bromans and DJ Z vs. The Wolves – 2on3 – World Tag-Team Championships

This one was a pretty safe bet. It’s been obvious since The Wolves debuted that they were the best Tag-Team going. It was only a matter of time before TNA paired them with the highest prize they could win.

Be right back, off to put on my Joggers!

Okay back, now equipped with Warmer clothing. The study in which I write The Jobber Blogger’s each and every week (or multiple times a week) is like an Arctic Tundra, filled with Eskimo’s coats with pocket knives and sowing kits in hidden compartments.

I actually didn’t expect the actions of recent weeks to lead to DJ Z being a factor in the match, but the 3 on 2 mentality clearly shows the lesser shall prevail.

True fact.

Speaking of DJ Z, he has since shaved the head which adorned the hair he was once loved, and has dyed it funky colours, like a Hip Jeff Hardy. He even colour-coordinated his attire to match that of his Team Mates.

I’ve always thought Zema was pretty good… but his “gimmick” sucked. I like him better with The Bromans, but he still doesn’t “click” as he’s found his true “form”. I like quotation marks… what of it.

Also due to the recent Tom Foolery from The Bromans, MVP had made the match a No DQ bout, but wanted to inform The Bromans once it’s Bell Time. So to do so Eddie Edwards had a little “note” from MVP with the ruling. Like the many, many… well every PE lesson I had for the last 2 years of School. Good ol MVP. No, don’t be silly… he didn’t get me out of PE. Now look at me, sitting down watching Wrestling, playing Video Games and Blogging…. bliss.

Edwards eventually got singled out, (as so often happens) what I thought was rather interesting was that Eddie and Zema seemed to exchange a good couple of Hard shots back and forth. One might think that there was some “bad blood” between them. But, it was probably just, whatever. Another scientific explanation.

whatever

In the end good old Davey Richards got the Tag and it was go time with The Wolves shifting it up a Gear. Their Tag-Team presence is fantastic, and I always talk about their Timing, but I can also say this, Davey Richards is one thing – Legit. Not to down play Eddie at all, but it’s so blatantly obvious, he is going to be over-shadowed, and fully eclipsed one day, the same eclipse to perhaps be The Wolves last howl?

That’s all poppy cock and whizz hardy! What is true is that The Wolves are the new TNA – Tag Team Champions. And properly this time, not like their “House show” victory title run mess.

This also means that I was right!

Jobber Blogger WIN

 Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw – Committed Match

Okay so when I wrote #102 of The Jobber Blogger, I didn’t even include Anderson vs. Shaw, it wasn’t mentioned on Impact aside from their continued “feuding”. It wasn’t till WrestleZone put up a post breaking down the Sacrifice card fully.

So I went back and amended it, but it didn’t state it was a “Committed Match”. The stipulation states the Winner. From the get-go I knew I was going to be wrong about Shaw winning. But up until that point Shaw had a fair number of victories over Anderson. I do believe Anderson won the last match, which meant this could go either way. Should it just be a match, I would have expected Shaw to possibly pick up an under-handed Win.

However if it’s a Committed match, then Anderson can’t lose. Just, impossible. He’s like Superman in this environment. Though if he did lose would be most interesting. Do they actually send their Talent to a Psychiatric Hospital? What would happen if Anderson actually had to endure that? Now that would be better.

Still, let’s just carry on shall we? Shaw does a good job of being the Crazy dude, though I do think it might limit his Wrestling abilities currently, I don’t even know if we’ve seen the last of him, or what is going to happen. Anderson seemed in good form, he’s always a bit hit and miss. But for this match he seemed on point. Very straight forward, very loud, very violent. It was good.

Shaw chocked out Anderson at one point and yet again started to pursue Christy, this just led to Anderson getting the upper hand and taking the fight to the back. He was pounding on the back of Shaw, and throwing him into the Guard Rails. I do remember Shaw was a bit of a risk taker, so he’s probably quite happy doing these spots, but still. Anderson then dropped him what looked rather hard, onto a Cart, which he then ran into some of those nicely placed storage boxes in the back. Shaw got a tiny bit of momentum back on his side till Christy showed up, Low-Blow’d him, and Anderson dropped him with a Mic Check to the floor / back of Van. Then threw him in and closed the doors.

Silly match, but if it has Storyline implications then it would be pretty cool. Wait and see.

Jobber Blogger LOSE

 Spud and Ethan Carter the third vs. Kurt Angle and Willow

 I found it hilarious when Kurt and Willow stood side by side. I know it’s Wrestling and all that. But Angle as the only guy to transition from Olympic Wrestling to Pro-Wrestling, it was just funny. He’s stood there, donned in his American Flag themed Attire, years of training, Olympic Gold, and here’s Jeff Hardy, jigging around, screaming like a woman and sliding across the floor with an Umbrella. Kurt…… you’ve made it.

Angle Willow

I do believe this got a fair bit of “Boring” chants at the start, but I do feel it was to do with the opening part of the match. Not that the crowd didn’t want to see it, but I do have a problem with the crowd, which I was address later on when it’s more relevant.

Spud had his fair share of chants too, which is awesome. It shows he is really coming into his own, and there is no doubt that his popularity is going to grow. I think movements like that only work when they aren’t played upon. The second the becoming acknowledged, they become irrelevant. A hard balance EY is going to face going forward.

What was cool though was Willow jumping off the Top Rope with his Umbrella…. admittedly he did just land straight on the floor with EC3 and Spud barely softening his landing at all. But then, that also makes it slightly funnier.

Funny is probably is how this is best described, EC3 even hit a Stinger Splash, the screaming “wooo” and everything. It wasn’t acknowledged by Taz or Tenay, but it certainly tickled my humorous horn.

Spud eventually got singled out, Willow did the whole “Twist of Fate / Stunner” thing, Angle did a modified half way through Angle Slam, but Jeff’s Swanton for the Win was awesome, it barely gave him any leaping room, so he just jumped vertically and shifted in mid air to land it for the Win, awesome!

Though it is annoying, like IGN’s own Matt Fowler pointed out, Willow is being “Jeff Hardy” more than he is Willow.

Jobber Blogger WIN

 Tigre Uno vs. Sanada – Best of x3 – Final Match – X-Division Championship

The problem with the Best of x3, is there is always going to be 3 matches. Which would be cooler if say Sanada won on Match #2. That’s why a Best of x5 gives you more wiggle room to build momentum and desperation.

Either way, a great pairing and some great matches. But this, this was the best.

The match we’ve been waiting for from these two.

Uno locked in this crazy looking Submission, trapping Sanada’s head between his legs, and tying up his legs whilst pulling on his Arm. It just looked… crazy. Most submission holds usually show a sign of some form of Wiggle room, this just looked nasty.

I genuinely thought Sanada might be hurt multiple times through-out this match, which I guess comes with the territory of Uno’s Lucha Libre style, mixed with the X-Division, and PPV level.

Uno dived over the ropes, looking as if one of his knees landed hard on the top of Sanada’s head, causing him to instantly grasp and point at his collar bone.

This of course doesn’t sell Sanada short, who is great in his own ways, but if anyone stood tall in this environment, it was Uno.

Uno’s Capture/Cradle Suplex-DDT thing is insane. We saw it last week on Impact, but it’s an insane move. This took Sanada out, setting him up for his Sabre Tooth Splash, but missed, leaving Sanada to hit one of the most powerful Moonsaults I’ve seen in recent memory and taking the win.

The problem I have with this match is simple, The Crowd.

Part of the reason I love TNA, is because it makes you feel like you’re a part of the “grown up” Wrestling community. Sure you have kids watching and you have idiots.

I remember watching TNA live in Manchester last year, and the people in front were swearing and yelling all kinds of insulting derogative things towards the Knockouts. Now granted, you can dislike Women’s wrestling, I didn’t for a long time. The WWE’s Women’s Division was always so terrible. Now the Knockouts can struggle here and there, but over all they can go like no other Wrestling Company has let their Women perform at.

So you have these great new talents in TNA, and I for one love seeing a Mexican and Japanese style enthused in the mix of the American / British wrestling ensemble TNA offers.

Which makes me annoyed when you have such idiots in the crowd sayings “Let’s go Goku”.

I can appreciate and laugh at all kinds of jokes, and remarks. But when it’s blatant disrespect, that annoys me from an Audience I am so passionate about.

Uno and Sanada have had some of the best matches in recent memory, and for my money, this match was the match of the night. I can’t say enough good things about it, and I just hope that it would encourage a respectful crowd. Rather than distance themselves to a formality we’ve seen for years.

Jobber Blogger WIN

 James Storm vs. Gunner – I Quit Match

There is only one complaint I have about this whole feud, and it’s the stupid re-use of that crap we have every time a Team breaks up, and in TNA, that’s very often.

“THEY WERE ONCE LIKE BROTHERS!”

No they weren’t, didn’t you watch the show?

And if they were, then clearly them fighting makes them more like Brothers. Why do they need to be Brothers to sell me on a feud, they don’t like each other, jealousy, whatever, who cares, FIGHT!

It’s Wrestling damn it!

I know it’s not a recent thing, but Storm obviously has been doing different things with his hair recently, should I comment on that? I notice these things. But also he has gone for a more Goatee look with snazzy Sideburns, rather than the full beard he once had. And Gunner another guy with a big beard has now trimmed his down to a much thinner Goatee. I do wonder if that is to make EY stand out as the guy with a Big Beard. Seeing as how Dixie invented it… and half of her Roster have them.

While I was fairly sure Gunner would eventually win this match, I was pleased at just how violent and aggressive The Cowboy was.

It was a brutal match, everything you would expect from an I-Quit match. It is hard to think of different ways to end such a match that we haven’t seen before. This, which is a very similar ending to AJ Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer, and Jeff vs. Matt Hardy, when Jeff tied Matt to a Table and climbed to the Top of a Ladder, and of course could see what was going to happen next and Quit the match.

I do look forward to more creative ways to finish these types of Matches. But there is one thing that they will always have in common. Brutality.

Gunner must have bladed first, but Storm smashed a Beer Bottle over his head, and the second he hit the mat he had a cut. It looked pretty good… in the sadistic way that Wrestling provides this Story Telling.

Storm wasn’t done, ripping the Belt from the Ref and trapping Gunner in the Ropes, he violently attacked him, whipping his back constantly till he just stumbled backward into a ferocious Last Call Superkick.

Again, this match didn’t play in Storms favour, but it did solidify him as the Badass Heel I want him to be. You wouldn’t want to mess with this guy, that makes him a great counter balance to Eric Young. And I stand by that.

Still, Gunner built his momentum by smashing his head into the Turn Buckles, the ending came when they played the Two Steel Chairs set up front to front ala Lockdown. Only this time Gunner placed a Guard Rail between the Two Stains and Superplexed the Cowboy straight onto it. Very little give, and Storm’s injuries following show that he has some fractures and bruising. Gunner wasn’t done and picked up a Shard of Glass from the Beer Bottle and placed it against the Forehead of Storm, which is of course when he Quit.

Another great match.

Jobber Blogger WINAngelina Love (w/Velvet Sky) vs. Madison Rayne – Knockouts Championship

The Knockouts seem to silent the Crowd as of late. I don’t know why that is. Maybe they’re not paying attention, maybe bored. Maybe in awe. Who knows.

Angelina of course controlled the majority of the match, though I did add another note of her being awesome.

Make Over Predator

Madison hit the “Rain-Drop /Rayne-Drop” ?? Then set up Angelina for the spear, she hit nothing but turnbuckle post, which led to Angelina connecting with her Botox Injection running Axe-Kick. It’s such an awesome move for a Knockout to use also, plus plays well to Angelina’s Long Legs and Big boots. Which should be a Cover of Storm’s old Longnecks and Rednecks.

In the end Angelina attempted a Top Rope cross-body which she missed. Madison then connected with a Spear, but Velvet played the deciding factor, spraying Hairspray in the eyes of Madison as she stumbled back into a Roll Up and Victory for Angelina Love. The x6 Time Record Breaking Knockouts Champion!

Jobber Blogger WIN

Bully Ray vs. Bobby Roode – Tables Match

Bully cut a really good “Bully Ray” styled promo going into the match, probably could have done without the Double Sledge through a Table though. Having Bully hit a table and break it, to me, makes the Tables look weak, not make Bully look Strong.

At first I thought Gunner and Storm would take a higher place on the Card than this match, but I guess with the Storyline implications in place it makes sense. But Bully felt like Bully in this match, coming down to a huge “Tables, Tables, Tables” chant as his music played and he got Face to Face with Roode. It just cemented that Big Match feel.

Sure the crowd were chanting sh*t factor at Roode, but then Roode is the best, so it doesn’t really count. Also –

Roode Swearing

Sums it up

Tables matches also suffer from what I said was the problem last time, one Table just isn’t enough.

Bully was trying to Powerbomb Roode through a Table, he countered Twice, but on the Third time the Ref got knocked down and Roode went through the Table. Which obviously didn’t count Oh, the irony. Is that even ironic? I don’t know.

It’s almost cartoonish levels of stupidness when the Ref’s going flying these days, but people just think “meh… Wrestling”. Not “do something different”.

Bully placed Roode on the two tables side by side on the outside, Bully then made his way up the Turnbuckle when a skinny bearded bloke pushed him off through the Tables. Of course, the Ref saw Bully go through the Tables and Roode took the Win.

I should really start betting more on Roode. I always want him to win, and he does. Yet I don’t think he will.

Regardless, of course my joke from a few weeks back was actually True… and now it’s insignificant, so yay.. and Damn you, go out to Dixie Carter.

Donned as a rodey, screwed Bully out of this match. Obviously he didn’t lose anything aside from a Tables match being “his speciality” and just the pain of going through Tables.

Dixie Beard

Jobber Blogger LOSE

 Magnus vs. Eric Young – World Heavyweight Championship

I don’t think EY is losing popularity yet, but I wouldn’t be surprised for it to start happening. Apparently it’s already happening with Daniel Bryan, but it always does. When it goes from being “our thing” to everyone’s thing, people resent it. They almost done feel Worthy anymore.

Which is why a legit push for an awesome talented Heel always works better, and continues to work. When you change that Heel to be a face, it just doesn’t work anymore.

EY was talking about how he gets motivated when the Crowds chant “Go EY Go, Go EY Go!” a Chant I’ve never heard. To me it sounds like TNA are really pushing Chants and Crowd interaction to create “movements”. Here’s a thing, let it happen… don’t make it happen.

Also Magnus called himself Wreck-it-Ralph for some reason….

The Main Event though didn’t feel like anything was going to be “sacrificed” and I don’t even feel like Magnus really felt like a true contender. Probably with the lack of Build up and announcements that he would actually be cashing in his Rematch.

But what was really good about the Main Event, is that it was a Wrestling Match. No fancy gimmicks, no silly ending, no weapons, no Ref’s flying around. It was just EY vs. Magnus – Wrestling Match – World Championship. Simplicity, and perfect.

EY has easily shifted his game into the highest possible gear since being Champion, EY has always been a great Wrestler, but it’s his time to show everyone, he has always been a great Wrestler.

The match kicked off with some great Headlock take-downs by EY, and the Wrestling continued from there. Magnus’ patented Re-bound from Ropes Clothesline was on point, so was EY’s Top-Rope Moonsault, even though he missed.

Magnus caught EY from the Top Rope and dropped him down in his “Driver” manoeuvre for a Kick-out.

This led him to grab a Crowbar of sorts, only for it to be taken from him, and attempted a Low-Blow on EY whilst the Ref had his back turned, EY countered, dropped him with the Pile-Driver for yet another Kick-out this time from Magnus.

Alas, EY eventually Caught Magnus one last time with yet another Pile-Driver, followed it up with his Top-Rope Elbow rope and retained his World Championship in impressive form.

It’s a shame that the Main Event was “built” more, but the actual match quality no doubt made up for it. It at once secures Magnus as credible, and secures Eric Young, as Worthy.

Jobber Blogger WIN

Over-all Sacrifice was a top quality PPV. Not quite sure where things are going to go from here on out. Certainly Bully Ray and Bobby Roode / Dixie Carter aren’t done by a long-shot. Knux is returning to impact with his Girl-Friend “Rebel” along with his friends, Crazy Steve and The Freak. A new Stable, perhaps a kin to the Wyatt family?

Certainly exciting to see what happens going toward Slammiversary.

Though on a closing note, as legit as it might be for Wrestlers to lose to a Pile-Driver, and how TNA can be different to use it. I still feel uncomfortable to witness it. It’s not worth the risk, on the odd occasion, perhaps. This regularly, I’d rather they didn’t.

Of course that isn’t my call.

What did you think to Sacrifice? Did you like it? What didn’t you like? Who did you pick to Win?

Let me know in the Comments below or head on over to Facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind and let your Voice be heard!

Till then,

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

www.TheSteelChair.com

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

www.cageamateursuk.com/News.php

The Jobber Blogger #91 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 13/2/14

 

Jobber Blogger logo2

Well isn’t this fun! It’s half-term! Bloody brilliant half term! My job is riddled with Kids Films and an endless sea of Children running around screaming dropping things and making a mess. In short, making my life miserable! I have to go to work most every day, and some of these days are Early! EARLY! 8:45am! I’m not used to these conditions, I went to University!

So yes, it means I have valid reasons for Writing this up slightly later than my normal “weekend” routine. Though it could also be called “laziness” but I resent that. Resent it, applaud it, condole it, embrace it, and really… Really!! You think I’m lazy, you know how hard I work every week to Write this blog! 2hours! 2 Whole hours a week!

Okay so I am joking, I spent a lot of time on my projects and I am immensely proud of The Jobber Blogger, up weekly on MyIGN Page, Cage Amateurs UK and now The Steel Chair, with support and promotions from Total Nonstop Rewind! You don’t get that kind of Voluntary – nonpaid work by being lazy let me tell you!

….Wrestling!

Impact Wrestling Logo

 TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 13/2/14

Once again Manchester doesn’t disappoint. Last year when I was privileged enough to attend the TNA Shows, Manchester was “by far!” the best Crowd. But seeing as though over a year later and a certain someone still hasn’t paid me back from last year’s tour, then funds are a little low to do it again. I doubt he will even read this!

Moving on!

Manchester was on fire all night…. not literally, that would have definitely given the show a different “atmosphere”

Manchester on fire

Fire-Boo!!! Also I forgot to put Sugar in my over-sized Tea Mug…. BRB!

BRB! Flipping be right back! As if I used to spend my days on MSN using such slang as BRB! What lame-o’s. It’s like these internet kids today with their “blogs”…. idiots!

So anyway! Manchester certainly gave Impact that much needed “spidadil” that is a word… look it up.

Taz joined Tenay on the Commentary this week.. don’t know why he wasn’t on it the last two weeks. Yet again TNA didn’t have an announce table, which to me really sucks.

It ruins the show when you’re supposed to believe it’s live and they care, yet it’s taped weeks ago and then dubbed by Commentary.

As I most amazingly predicted last week, Dixie, Magnus and EC3 kicked off the show, and as I most amazingly predicted incorrectly was that the English fans would Cheer Magnus…. Nope.. they hated him.

Which means well done TNA, you turned him Heel successfully………… also Spud.

The whole point was aimed at the Investor Storyline, with Dixie stating that MVP or anyone else, has no chance of changing how she runs her company.

That MVP’s recent actions and threats are just “words” that they don’t care about. Funny thing, it feels like MVP has been around for a while now, yet this was actually his Second Day with TNA. It’s crazy.

Anyway, MVP obviously came out with his “rebuttal”…. it’s a real word, look it up! Samoa Joe joined MVP by his side when he announced that Magnus and Joe will do battle in the Main Event of Lockdown for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.

Which of course is when Gunner came out and through a…. briefcase…… in the plan of MVP’s, by saying he is Cashing in – next week – on Magnus.

And this in turn led to Dixie putting Gunner in a match against EC3 with Gunner’s Briefcase on the line, and MVP upped the stakes by putting EC3’s World Tag-Team Title Shot Briefcase up for grabs also.

Gunner and James Storm vs. EC3 and Magnus – Winner Takes AllSee, despite Dixie and co blabbed on a little too much for my liking with nothing really to say, having this Ladder match for the Two remaining Briefcases is an awesome start to the show.

So far nothing but bad luck surrounds the recent “Feast of Fired” Winners, Zema cashed in last week and got his ass handed to him, EC3 did nothing and now loses his, Gunner has had to retain and defend his Briefcase so many times, and then of course there’s Chavo… who didn’t get a chance to do any of that.

Though I’m sure MVP will bring him back, much to my dismay.. unless of course he returns as “PONCHO GUERRERO!” The fire’iest, feistiest, fired up Mexican to ever be… fired?

Poncho G FiredProbably coming in the next Wave of TNA’s Deluxe Impact – You’re Fired – Range of Wrestling Figures

Long story short, Magnus got involved, Storm got involved and MVP then made this a Tag-Team match.

MVP is like the Hulk Hogan, TNA wanted Hulk Hogan to be like. I take back my thoughts and reservations of bringing MVP into TNA…. I love him. He is straight to the point, awesome on the mic, he makes you believe his words and he can get it done in the ring. Perfect choice.

EC3 actually had a rather good showing in this Match too, including an impressive Top-Rope Splash on Gunner on the Ladder, which at once got the Crowd going crazy… and then they realised who he was and Booed the hell out of him.

In the end EC3 and Magnus got into a heated debate about EC3 trying to get down the World Title Contender briefcase, and then Storm cleaned house and Gunner got down the Cases for the Win.

Side note, I actually had a good idea which I think is awesome (coz I’m big headed like that) but what if Magnus got the Cases! Hear me out, the next time there is a Feast or Fired match, the World Champion should get involved, imagine if he won the Number One Contender Case for his own belt. What that means is if he loses his belt, he can then not only get his Contracted re-match, but yet a further Title Match.

Now if he remains Champion, you could flip the Perk, he could Cash In his Case to NOT Defend the Title. I think that’s awesome. Or, if he has a Number One Contender, he could cash his Title Defence whenever he wanted.

Loads of awesome ideas in there! I should write this show!

Also who else wanted Storm to turn on Gunner? It must be in the works, I think they made them both “Buddy Buddy” purely to try and throw people off the scent, but I’m sure it’s coming. Maybe when Gunner has his Title Match? Maybe after. Maybe if he wins? Who knows.

Maybe never… I guess?

Bromans and DJ Zema Ion vs. The Wolves and Samoa Joe

Bromans went crazy at Spud backstage, as apparently there was a Verbal Agreement between them and EC3 to not Cash In on a Tag-Title Shot any time soon, but obviously with him now losing that Case, they are probably going to end up defending the belts soon.

And in turn, this led to MVP putting them in a 6-Man Tag against The Wolves and a Mystery Partner.

What more can I say, I’ve been looking forward to seeing The Wolves in action since before they signed with TNA, lots of talk about the team. And they didn’t disappoint. They have a great look, good attire, awesome music and they deliver in the ring, hey it sucks to lose Sting, but if we get more talent like this… when that’s a good thing right?

Also not disappointing is Samoa Joe, who is always “over” no matter what Story they place him in. People love Joe. And for Joe to recently be taking a “Locker-room Leader” position, it makes sense for him to be out in the Spotlight. It’s been a long time since he’s been in the Main Event for any serious consideration. And Joe Thrives under that spotlight.

But that doesn’t take anything away from the Bromans either, who are easily carrying the Tag-Team Division themselves of late, and doing a fantastic job with it. More of Zema at ring side with his DJ Desk though!

I said it before, I want TNA to rebuild the Divisions, especially the Tag-Team Division, and with Bromans, Bad Influence, Storm and Gunner, The Wolves, things are looking pretty damn good. Maybe throw in EC3 and Spud. I want another Best of 5 Series, Wolves vs. Bromans would be fantastic, or Bad Influence.

Joe went to town on Zema Ion and picked up a Submission Victory for his Team.

Abyss – Unmasked 

I didn’t expect him to walk to the Ring without his Mask on, but then I am glad he did. It’s always weird seeing a Masked guy – Unmasked. Kane just hasn’t been the same since he took it off, and yes he put it back on.. .but it’s not the same. With Abyss though, I think they played it so well by having the Two Characters, we got to know Joseph Park before they connected the dots. Not to mention he is such a great Character Actor, always has been, but his work between both personalities is really incredible, especially for a Wrestling Show.

Abyss called out EY, and in his speech you could see him switch between Abyss and Joseph Park, and it just worked.

Abyss screams at EY “Who am I?!” and claims that he can’t be Abyss anymore.

I get that the segment maybe went a little too long, but it was powerful stuff. I really liked it. I love Abyss, and I am enjoying watching this “change”. I have a good feeling about where it’s heading next.

As to end the segment he said “I need to go away and find someone who truly understands me”.

Which to any long-time TNA fan knows could quite possibly lead to a return appearance from Father James Mitchell.

Abyss said before the Joseph Park storyline came about, that he feels unmasking the Character would be a good thing in adding more layers to him. And now Abyss is uncertain, confused, he could go away and come back better than ever, and I really hope he does!

Abyss Mitchel

 Rockstar Spud vs. MVP

Spud and MVP with Dixie had a great segment backstage, though anything with Spud in it, is gold. Not only did he put Tape across the floor of Dixie and MVP’s office, (giving Dixie more space and flowers) but Spud got in MVP’s face about him being Washed up. Which of course led to MVP putting himself in a match with Spud.

It was only a short match, something to put MVP over in the ring, and Spud is an excellent worker. The Manchester crowd got behind his “Ball-in” elbow drop, and MVP’s running Kick to the face of Spud led to the victory.

My only gripe is that I wish they cut MVP’s theme down on the Entrance part, it’s fine for his entrance, though he does seem to be walking to the ring before the actual Music starts. But when he ends a Promo with a snappy remark, or wins a Match, you want his Music to hit straight away, not the opening intro that takes far too long to get going in those circumstances.

Also on Impact was a Vignette for “Willow”. I shall add it if I can find it. If you don’t know, this is Jeff Hardy, probably rather obvious. Willow the Wisp is an old school Character of Jeff’s which he used to use before he went to the WWF. It’s something he messes around with if you watch “The Hardy Show” also of recent years.

How this makes sense… I don’t know.

He is advertised to be coming back at Lockdown, as Jeff Hardy. Whether he is bringing in another character remains to be seen. If he is coming back as Willow the Wisp, that makes no sense. Jeff under the pressure of Dixie’s reign quit…. but he then comes back and has apparently lost his mind.

I have a horrible feeling this is going to be awful, I love Jeff, I do my best to support him. He is very talented and very creative… the problem lay with he, himself, is not so good at doing the things he wants to be creative with. His promos usually suck. He doesn’t always look “that good”. His music is good… but perhaps not great. He’s never been good at selling a “character” or a promo, so for him to be this weird thing on World Wide TV… It might just be really embarrassing. I hope he pulls it off. But I’ve seen him do this character before…. and it’s just awkward, and embarrassing.

Though if it turns out to be Willow Smith, then by all means, let’s all Whip Our Hair Back and Forth!

Velvet Sky vs. Chris Sabin

hen Sabin is trying to be annoying and over the top… is when he is at his best. His “Twerk” on the Ropes to mock Velvet had me in hysterics.

Just like his “Will you get the hell out of my life!” from last week did.

And to further my evidence that Velvet, as lovely and great that she is… really does suck, she tried to Kick Sabin in the Groin… and hit his knee. Sabin started to sell before he realised she missed. So he asked “why did you kick me in the knee?” then she gets it right and hits him in the groin.

Sabin reveals his Cup, Velvet low-blows him from behind then starts hitting him like crazy before the arrival of the Alpha Female.

See I totally forgot she was debuting in TNA soon. I knew it was coming up, but I forgot, so it was a pleasant surprise. I do wish she didn’t wear what she wore though. I hope she’s a good addition, people in Manchester didn’t know who she was. Though more additions to the Knockouts the better. However isn’t ODB sort of like Alpha Female… and if Alpha Female wants to be a “Bigger” Knockout, then Lei’D Tapa has her beat there also. So she’s a strange fit in a addition that has two superiors or either side of her gimmick.

I will be really annoyed if Alpha Female comes across more impressive than Tapa, because Tapa really hasn’t had the chance to be “herself” yet.

Alpha Female TNA

 Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson – Casket Match

Backstage Bully went through Andersons things and found his phone, calling the picture of his kids “cute” then rang his wife saying it’s the phone call she’s been dreading. It’s tough stuff to watch, obviously we all know its Wrestling and therefore the Storyline isn’t real. But, it’s a real-life subject to be that brash and controversial about, kudos to Anderson for allowing it.

Bully wore a Liverpool Football Jersey to the ring just to provoke the fans more so… if I followed Football I might have understand the reference. (I got it… I was joking… though also Boo Football!) TNA certainly didn’t let their budget run dry on this match, as the Casket looks terrible, the lid fell off, it broke trying to put it back on, naff construction. I hope they don’t bury people in these things, it’s a Wonder the body doesn’t fall out the Bottom as it’s being carried by the Paul Bearers.

Aside from your usual “cheesy” moments, like Anderson having a Test of Strength with Bully trying to lift the Coffin Lid, it was a good match. It must be a difficult match to keep entertaining, it’s also a little bit stupid. Because it doesn’t really do anything. I suppose it’s not a nice thing to be put inside of. But then they can just get back out of it again really easy.

There was a great high spot with Bully Power-Bombing Anderson through a Table which led to an awesome TNA! TNA! Chant from the great crowd.

Bully tried to Pile-Drive Anderson in the Casket, but Anderson reversed into a Mic Check that sent Bully face first in the Coffin, he then got a nice “Pop” as he threw the Liverpool Jersey in also and Anderson picked up the Win… well as much as he could, as the Lid didn’t fit back on the Coffin.

Dixie and MVP closed out the show once more, this time backstage as Dixie prepared a Contract to “Buy-Out” MVP’s Shares.

MVP turned down the Deal and challenged her to a Lethal Lockdown Match – Team Dixie vs. Team MVP – Winner gets Full Control over the “Wrestling Operations” of TNA.

I am a little sick of seeing these types of Matches, it’s always people battling to control something, usually TNA. But hey, I like this Story so far, and I look forward to see where it goes from here.

Impact was awesome this week, a great packed show with awesome matches, surprise debuts, in ring debuts, crazy matches, and great segments!

Not to mention a crazy Crowd and TNA hit a Home Run.

Can’t wait for next week’s show also from Manchester with Gunner and Magnus (I believe) for the World Championship.

Till Then,

Dan Wilkinson

www.thesteelchair.com

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

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The Jobber Blogger #90 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 6/2/14

Jobber Blogger logo2Last week’s show from Glasgow got praise and negativity at the same time. This most likely because of a good crowd, a different look and I’m sure the debut of MVP played a part also. However looking back on it, nothing very exciting happened. Just your normal run of the mill matches and no great excitement on the Card front.

The same can be said for this week’s show, though the Ratings perked in the US in comparison to last week. Though this again will probably be spiked with the debut of MVP.

I can’t quite seem to find where I stand on all of these happenings. I believe CM Punk leaving the WWE is a work, it makes sense. If it’s not a work, then he comes across as a douche really, let’s be honest. Nor do I think his “Star Power” with the most deserving of quotation marks is really anything to go crazy over in the first place. Which of course leads to Sting. Things certainly look as if this time after many years, Sting is actually going to the WWE. Then there’s more information coming out from Jeff Jarrett and Toby Keith’s plan to buy TNA and instead just decided to make their own company… perhaps. I really don’t know what to believe anymore. And if these are a work… then they’re working.

I recently watched the AJ Styles – Shoot Interview “Leaving an Impact”. Though the trailers / previews certainly edited it in a way that seems rather more shocking, in actuality it’s very tame. AJ is nothing but supportive of TNA, and has the door open. Though you can make arguments for TNA offering him a lower contract, but they did eventually offer him what he asked for, and he rejected. But AJ said he wants to work the Indies again, and what other chance will he have to do so. I expect AJ will be back in TNA some point this year. I don’t buy this isn’t in some way planned.

But hey, that’s the beauty of Wrestling, and for years and years people knew what was going to happen, and for the best part, we still do. Thanks to the Dirt Sheets and certain predictability areas, but for these topics, we just don’t know. And that’s a good thing! Impact Wrestling LogoTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 6/2/14

I guess, part of me isn’t excited watching TNA anymore. I enjoy it, sure, but I’m not getting that feeling where you witness something that makes you excited! That makes you go on YouTube and find that certain Entrance theme for that certain Star and listen to it on Repeat and have the sudden urge to buy merchandise. Not had that since AJ had his Return Match at Slammiversary last year.

Abyss vs. Eric Young – Monsters Ball

I did state that nothing was quite as exciting, but I can’t tell you how refreshing it was to start Impact without Promo’s. Without Dixie. Instead it’s EY and Abyss attacking each other in the back and the Match picks up from there. A creative and needed change to the format. Despite the fact we all know that next week, it’s all about Dixie starting the show most likely.

I am still confused on this front, Abyss didn’t seem to turn up for a long time. Then he did twice randomly. Then only when Park saw his own blood for a small amount of time. Now he’s Abyss all the time for no reason and blood isn’t involved. I don’t get it. Do I need to get it?

To be honest, yes. If you’re going to put effort into developing something, least stick to it, or make it work. Tie up the loose ends, have it make sense. Give more development. The first Monsters Ball did nothing to get Park to realise he was Abyss.

It is awesome having Abyss on Impact though, he is one of those guys you associate with TNA, his look and character is phenomenal and sorely missed.

The match though was as you would expect, rather tame when compared to others, but with enough meaty high spots to make you enjoy it! Thumbtacks made their appearance, though EY flipped over the Monster from the Second Rope and Power-Bombed him to the Canvas. Abyss punched EY whilst he was perched on the top rope which sent him flying off Through a Table set up on the floor.

The ending came when Abyss removed Janice, a Cricket Bat variation, clearly not getting the original through Customs. EY then after numerous attempts Unmasked the Monster, which led him to violently Blackhole Slam EY and take the win.

Abyss then looked at himself in a small broken bit of a mirror. I actually like the ending, though not sure where it’s going to lead. Obviously I don’t want him to lose the mask, it makes his character. But will be interesting. EY did a post match Interview backstage and said his goal was to unmask him, but has no idea what happens next.

MVP made his way to the ring, which officially marks his true Debut with TNA. I do find it funny that people always moan about TNA bringing in stars from other companies, but yet everyone is behind MVP’s character as an investor, despite the fact he’s just yet another made star from a different promotion.

I knew of MVP, watched a fair number of his matches, but he was never someone I got behind. However, he did impress me on this show. His mic skills are very good, he has a great confidence and charismatic approach whilst confronting the audience and other stars. His confidence in turn sells the angle, so it’s all good.

The flimsy story is a little… flimsy? He had a lot of money saved up, saw what Dixie had done to TNA and therefore he invested his savings to get himself in TNA to change it. No one in his position would do that. Especially considering how outspoken he used to be about going to TNA. But alas, Dixie’s recent actions, must be met with Consequences, and MVP is all about bringing about that Change.

Part of me is now a little tired of seeing this “Power Struggle” as the main and only storyline to determine TNA in over four years. Hogan and Bischoff take over, Sting as the GM, Dixie out of control, Dixie back in Control, Hogan as GM, Aces and Eights threaten Power, Dixie goes crazy takes control, MVP is now in to change that. Can’t we just do something new. All it says to me is that they’ve tried something and it didn’t work, so they try something else by blaming the one in charge at the time. I think it is clever that they’ve placed all of the bad decisions on Dixie’s head and she’s carrying that weight as a Heel. So it would be great to see TNA rise up. But I doubt it’s going to do anything or amount to anything. I really hope it does. But how many times have we hoped now?

Spud made his way to the ring to tell MVP that Dixie would like a meeting with him, and MVP then made a match between Magnus and Kurt Angle.

Curry Man danced with Christopher Daniels styled ass to the Ring (it’s a legit thing)

danielsWhat did you think the Picture would be?

After he finished Dancing, Bully Ray wheeled the Coffin out, stood in the ring, booted Curry Man in the face, delivered an impressive but scary looking Pile-Driver and threw him in the Coffin then left.

So I don’t know if I was supposed to believe Curry Man is in a match, or if he was supposed to be fighting Bully Ray, but it looked as if Curry Man danced his way to the ring purposely to be placed in a Coffin.

Though I did realise that Bully Ray and Curry Man have similarly pronounced names. Bully Man or Curry Ray, could be a good Team idea.

In a string of “walk to the rings” Austin Aries was next up, who of course received a huge reaction (because he’s awesome and TNR’s / Jobber Blogger’s two time reigning Wrestler of the Year). Aries decided to take this time to talk about Option C and how he intends to do it once more this year!

That’s when the Bromans came out and Bro’d their way down the Ramp, and I was actually pleasantly surprised by the next part, as I couldn’t piece together why they had turned up.

Zema Ion attacked Aries from behind with his X-Division Briefcase, then hit Aries over the head with it, covered him, but only got a Two-Count.

Zema looked good though, and then went on to miss his impressive looking Corkscrew from the Top Rope and Aries then dropped him with a Knee Breaker, threw him backwards over his head, Corner Drop Kicked the hell out of him and then finished him off with the Brain Buster to retain his Championship.

Awesome!

I am glad TNA lifted the “Money in the Bank” Concept, it’s a good idea. And the Feast or Fired stipulation adds extra coolness to the concept.

Trying to Write this down really shows you how much “stuff” was in this show, and not enough Wrestling. Though something that pleased my rant from last week was in the show, where Christy Hemme had a talk with Sam Shaw about his weird Shrine Room (with the same pictures multiple times I might add). Christy saw the segment, and decided it’s creepy and only wants their “relationship” to be professional. Which is kind of ironic, given that a Camera Man was stood in his secret room.

I think it would have been better if Shaw went into the Room and the Camera Man tried to get a sneak peak, leading to Shaw beating him down violently. Or if the Camera Man sent like a lighting dude with his Smart Phone to sneak into the room, and then proceeded to get beaten down violently when Shaw caught him. But whatever.

The stupid part is that Christy must have seen his Violent Drawings, threatening the Waiter, Beating up that guy backstage (who was on this show and fine). You know, and that didn’t bother her about this weird guy she liked… but the shrine put her off.

Kurt Angle vs. Magnus

The first booking from MVP, and it’s designed to get Angle out of the ring. He’s supposed to be pretty banged up and not happy currently. Though to be fair, he wants to leave TNA, so screw him.

There wasn’t really a match here, they just did a few moves, Angle caught Magnus in the Ankle Lock then EC3 turned up and attacked him.

EC3 then went to town on Angle’s knee with a Chair, and submission locks, leaving Angle to be carried out on a Stretcher.

Though apparently Angle does a run in next week or something, so the whole idea was for nothing, as it’s supposed to get Kurt out of Wrestling to heal up. Given the length EC3 went to, to sell Kurt’s injury / absence, I would have to agree him showing up again seems a little stupid.

In what was probably the best and easily the funniest part of Impact this week. Chris Sabin had set up this backstage “date” room thing where apparently he and Velvet shared their first kiss some years ago.

Velvet eventually turned up, and a little unsure why the Camera crew were filming. Sabin told her about last week was a turning point for him, and how he sees what he did wrong, and now a Veil has been lifted.

He gets down on one knee and removes a Ring Box presenting it to Velvet, asking her “Will you?”. A teary eyed Velvet opened the box to find it empty, and Sabin continued “Will you just get the hell out of my life!?”

We all knew it was coming, but it was still rather hilarious.

Though Sabin challenged Velvet to a match next week, so… that will be weird.

Bobby Roode vs. Samoa Joe – Number One Contendership – World Heavyweight Title Shot

So this marks the Second match on the card, adding in a possible two others. One which was short and just to sell a run-in from EC3. The other short, but awesome spontaneous title defence.

Earlier in the night Bobby brought a Contract for he and Magnus at Lockdown for the World Championship to Dixie, but given Joe’s recent Number One Contender win, and MVP turning up, she couldn’t commit. Instead, she made this match between he and Joe.

It is a little annoying how winning anything now, actually doesn’t mean you earn what you won. Like Gunner with his Briefcase which he keeps having to defend. And Joe with his Number One Contender Win.

I am glad Joe is back on a Rampage, though I feel he’s not quite found his “Spark” back as he once had it. Roode on the other hand is pure awesome.

Least Impact had a great Main Event, though I made little notes on what happened during the match, I would encourage all to watch it. It’s not “put a star next to it Match of the Year contender” but it was still a great match.

Joe dropped Roode with the Muscle Buster and then got a Submission Victory with his Choke Hold keeping his position as the Number One Contender.

It does bother me though that Roode is looked at as a Looser now. Dixie even said “It’s not like you won your last match!” with regard to Roode being in the Main Event. And that annoys me because he lost to Kurt Angle in a Cage Match (with a close finish), after having a Winning streak in general, and especially over Kurt Angle for Months and Months. Stupid Heel Face rules and BS.

Impact closed the show with Dixie and MVP having a Summit in the middle of the Ring. Which would perhaps have been better if we didn’t get MVP talking earlier on in the night, followed by Dixie having numerous scenes backstage talking with Spud, to then Dixie and MVP talking backstage about coming out and talking about the future of TNA, in front of the World.

They could have just done it as a Headline to the show “Still to come!” etc.

And like anything TNA usually try and build up, it did nothing. The Future of TNA, which was Dixie blabbing on about Magnus and how people should follow her to Success. Then MVP saying “You are the Problem” and that they Agree to Disagree, he is bringing the Change, and her Running TNA as she wants to, “Is Over!”.

So it’s a good thing to move it forward… but it actually told us nothing… and did nothing. A little empty for a Finish I found, something to grab on to for next week would have been a much more exciting finish.

Still, not a bad show, I hope TNA are moving in a good direction, I really hope AJ, Hardy, Sting, Jarrett actually all play a part in MVP’s Change, but who knows?

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

http://www.thesteelchair.com

htttp://www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

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The Jobber Blogger #89 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 30/1/14

Jobber-Blogger-logo2

The Jobber Blogger

Welcome to the Jobber Blogger #89! The second proper instalment over on TheSteelChair.com and like always I ramble on endlessly about nothing!

Though perhaps nothing isn’t quite at hand here, as TNA embark on yet another (I’m sure to be awesome sell out) UK Tour, the question at hand is this: does it really matter?

I think the short answer is no. Nothing TNA does matters, Wrestling History is going to go on with them or without them, and unfortunately the WWE is always going to the power that controls the History of the Industry. Lots of rumours floating around that Sting is about to Sign a WWE Legends deal, everything from him just being involved with a WCW DVD to the Launch of the WWE Network and their WCW Content. To him being RAW’s General Manager and all kinds of stuff. Now this seems to be the most “official” word yet of Sting and WWE actually coming to terms, I would even go so far as to say that Hogan’s recent TNA departure and WWE involvement would partially be life line between Sting and the WWE also. I guess what I’m getting at, is if Sting goes to the WWE, he will be looked upon for all of his work outside of the WWE… in WCW. The WWE don’t care how many times he’s been TNA Champion, how many years he’s worked for that promotion, they won’t even blink an eye that he’s in the “Hall of Fame”. It just didn’t happen.

That’s the thing that bugs me the most, see I love TNA, that’s well documented, but if Bobby Roode went to the WWE, sure some people would know of his work, but it would never be mentioned. When Booker T went to WWE via the buyout of WCW – he was credited with his Five Time World Heavyweight Championship reign. All of the WCW guys carried their legacy, hell even ECW carried their legacy, and that was a terrible promotion.

But TNA, who had all the right faces, and all the right ingredients, they just don’t affect the WWE, Ric Flair returns with no mention of TNA (aside from his now infamous WWE 2K14 Panel with Foley) when Hogan returns, there will be no mention, when Kurt Angle inevitably returns, he will have just “Been gone” for several years. No one cares.

They’ve even said if AJ Styles were to wind up in the WWE he would be a mid-carder at best despite he carries a huge weight of Wrestling Greatness through-out the industry, to the point where Kurt Angle left the WWE purely to Wrestle Styles. It’s like everything TNA is doing, should they one day go out of business, it was all for nothing.

If they could gather the ratings and pull in higher numbers, WWE would have to pay attention. And one could think that this is the current trend in Wrestling today. Like any Wrestling fan I’m reading and trying to find out what’s going on with the Royal Rumble / Daniel Bryan / Batista and now of course CM Punk. Clearly the Daniel Bryan thing is a work, and it’s clearly working! Batista is just “one of those guys” from an era that wasn’t even that popular. I think he feels he’s a type of Stone Cold / The Rock, but nope, WWE sucked then and it sucks now. I never got on the Batista train, doesn’t appeal to me. And now the Wrestling Audience is smarter than ever, they know guys like Bryan and Punk work hard for their slot on the show, and then they lose it to some muscle bound Hollywood type who can’t Wrestle half as well purely because his name might carry some “cache”. Least he isn’t as insulting as The Rock’s “triumphant return” for those who grew up watching him to suddenly realise that he actually is terrible as a Wrestler.

Now in the same vein, I don’t look as CM Punk as anything special. I like Punk, but let’s not beat it round the bush, Punk got lucky as he was given the opportunity to “mouth off” and that’s what made his Career. Since then, he’s done very little till now. And only now is important because people don’t know if it’s legit or not, I would say it is a Work, but who knows? Even if it’s not he will go back to the WWE, no chance he’ll turn up in TNA, I’d love it if he did come to TNA, I think his look and style suits their product more so. But what would that mean to the Industry? Guess what, nothing. I bet over half of the WWE’s audience don’t even know TNA exists. And those who do, would probably tune in to see Punk, then tune right back out again. Their viewership would increase, but I don’t think it’s a wise investment. Punk would go back to the WWE, he wouldn’t be loyal to TNA, I don’t even think he likes TNA. His first stint there wasn’t very good, so I don’t think he’d be in a rush to go out. People who question if TNA could “afford” him is ridiculous, TNA are stupid with Money and they paid Hogan more than WWE offered him, and he still left. That says it all really.

TNA always struggle to capitalise on what they have, and granted they are smart enough to listen to their fans, but everything they do just ends up being subpar. I hope they do something great, but I just don’t think they will. If these rumours about Sting are true, then I would say that AJ Styles and Jeff Jarrett have officially left the company, and then if that is true, then TNA are in serious trouble.

Anyway, without this turning into a huge rant about why I like TNA, what TNA does wrong and why I don’t like the WWE, let’s just get down to the business at hand!

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 30/1/14

Yes, for the first time ever TNA Impact airs in the UK before the US. And it came straight from Glasgow Scotland, though they did label it as “LIVE!” it wasn’t. But that doesn’t really matter.

What matters is simple, TNA should just get a home over here and film it in the UK because it looks like a force to be reckoned with when they Tape over here, they pack out of the Arena’s (even on the Camera’s side) and they have crazy crowds. Of course I’m not being entirely serious.

Not to mention they did have some Audio problems through-out the broadcast, but least they didn’t Tape it and then Dub the Commentary on top of it, and I hope they don’t do that for the rest of the Taped shows, because it ruined it for me last year.

Magnus kicked off the show and was met with a sea of “Boo’s!” which I was a little surprised by. Though as he did point out, it is Scotland. I would imagine he would be cheered when they get to the UK Shows.

What made me laugh in a type of “ironic” way, is that Magnus and Dixie Carter represent what the Internet have always said TNA should do. As he put it “thinning of the heard / putting the old stars out to pasture to make room for the new”. And yet this was met in a negative light. Though for years everyone’s said that TNA’s downfall is all of these old guys that they bring in for hopes of a Ratings boost, and now look. Hogan and Bischoff have gone, Sting has gone, Nash has gone, Steiner’s gone, Bookers gone, Foley’s gone. Who is left? Angle is going to leave, and I can’t wait to slam the door behind him. You could make a case for Bully and Hardy, but Bully has had his best years in Wrestling in TNA, he isn’t the same guy he used to be, and thank him for being Loyal to them. Same can be said for Hardy, he’s had the best two years of his Career in TNA and he’s in a much better place in his life than he’s ever been before.

So the people get what they want, but they aren’t happy.

Such is life – C’est la vie, Monge tu and Duck a l’orange

EC3 stepped up to get in the face of Magnus when he claimed to “single handily” rid TNA of Styles, Hardy and Sting. The first of a few confrontations between the two. Angle and Joe however crashed the segment and despite Dixie Carter not giving her blessing – it all boiled down to a match – Magnus and EC3 (who Magnus handpicked I might add) vs. Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe – Contracts vs. Number One Contender Shot

I think Spud said it all really

Spud swears

 Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa vs. Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne

Even writing that I wrote Gail Kim and Madison Rayne, subconsciously I combined those two together more so than Velvet and Rayne. Not having the Beautiful People in TNA is a sacrilege. Of course having them in TNA without Angelina Love is a far worse crime. Also nice job on the Video Edits of Velvet and Rayne together (without Angelina).

Madison Rayne suits spoiled little jealous Blonde Girl so much more than she does her current role, just as The Beautiful People suit Heels far better than a Face faction.

Though how could anyone be angry at someone who had a hand in accidently hitting Earl Hebner in the face. Velvet hit her (bad) Bulldog on Gail for a two-count but when Gail kicked out she raised her hand and hit Earl in the fact,… that’s a lol moment.

Gail hits Earl

Madison hit a spear on Gail out of no-where, Velvet finished Gail off with “In Yo Face!” and took the win. Before I go on about how short this match was, I just had a brilliant thought. I Hope and Pray that X-Pac – Sean Waltman wrestlers somewhere in the indies, and does his X-Factor, for someone in the crowd to tell him off for stealing Velvet’s move! If there is a God in Heaven! Please! Let this happen and be on Video! Some child telling him off for stealing a Woman’s move would just be hilarious and the icing on the cake for his so-so career.So yeah, once again the team of the best Female Wrestle in the world, and her huge gigantic powerful scary body guard, were defeated by Wrestlers who can’t Wrestle and let’s face it, Velvet can’t even run the ropes right after all these years. I love them all dearly, but at times it’s just a little too “fake” to be believed.

velvel

Chris Sabin heads to the ring afterward to do the great “Bad Guy” move… but also had me laughing like crazy of “Say you’re sorry now, and we’ll go in the back and you can give me a massage”. Just like the short lived run of Joey Ryan who had the best line when he chose to introduce Matt Morgan rather than Hemme when he told her to go make him a sandwich. Needless to say, Velvet told him that they are over and left.

James Storm and Gunner vs. Bad Influence – Gunners World Title Briefcase on the line

James Storm had the worst segment on the show, though it was made slightly better by some guy in the front row making Animal Noises. He could have been cheering but I haven’t heard anything like that before. Storm called out Gunner to “put an end to this”.

And then we were subjected to this horrible segment where they made Bro-Love with doing things for their families and blah blah blah, and when Gunner was in the Marines, and blah blah blah, and then Scotland fans started chanting USA. And what the hell was happening?

I’m sick and tired of the whole “I did this for my Family!” speech, can’t you just do it for yourself. Am I supposed to think that you’re struggling to pay your pills and put food on your plate. I manage it by working 12 hours a week in a Cinema, I’m fairly sure you’re getting paid a hell of a lot more than me. If you can’t make that work then perhaps you should consider changing your life style. And not buy the most expensive Cheese and 1837 Bottle of Wine for your evening of “fine dining”.

What happened to them just chasing a Career in Wrestling, you want to be a Wrestler, you want to be the best guy, awesome, go out there, win the World Championship and do it for your own damn Career and legacy. I don’t want to watch sad back stories in my Wrestling show about how you can’t buy your children 3 games consoles and then afford to send them to the best School in the country and buy them a Porsche for their Graduation present.

I feel this is going to be a good Ranting episode, just wait till I get to Kurt Angle!

Thankfully Bad Influence got involved and so I bring back the long forgotten but most fabled element of my Blog:

kaz word 7 new

I’m now hoping Storm renames his character – The Monkey Fart James Storm and together with Gunner their Tag-Team name can be – Beard with no Brains. I’m game.So this of course ended in a match – with Gunner once again putting his Briefcase on the line. Funny because when he first decided to do it, Dixie had a issue with it, but then agreed as a way to make him pay for interrupting her. Since then Gunner has been defending it left right and centre.

The idea is that Bad Influence told Gunner he can’t trust James Storm, and much to everyone’s dismay, Storm didn’t do anything untrustworthy.

Gunner was impressive as always and worked with Storm to win – with a top rope Head-butt none the less. Then Storm and Gunner celebrated their victory and left for some more Bro-Loving…. beard style.

Earlier on in the night Kurt and Joe singled out Bobby Roode and threatened him so he wouldn’t get involved in their match with their contracts on the line. This led to Roode giving Dixie Carter an ultimatum. Roode only helped get rid of AJ and Sting for a Title Shot, and Roode demanded it be at Lockdown, and until that is agreed, he won’t be doing anything to help Dixie or Magnus further. Makes sense.

Spud was sent on an errand to find out who this “Investor” is, and do that he called out the Wolves.

Again, Spud stole the show, he got in their faces screaming and claimed to have seen a good bit of American television and tried to interrogate them with his torch. Till he just slapped Davey Richards I believe, and then was dropped by the Wolves and a double team move.

The Wolves had pretty good music, and I do look forward to them being used in the ring (which is coming up soon I believe).

 

 

Abyss and Eric Young vs. The Bromans (w/DJ Zema Ion) – World Tag-Team Championships

I am confused now.

I think there is a piece of this story missing. Park was still Park, even in Monsters Ball, and after Monsters Ball, then last week he showed up as Abyss… there was no “connection”. So is he now just Abyss and Park is no more. Or are we going to find out they are two different people. And why the hell did they stop trying to make sense of it all with Bully Ray.

I also don’t get why they got a Tag-Team Title Match. And I still think EY should go for a Mad Scientist look.

The match looked as if EY was in control of Abyss, till then Abyss just had enough and cleaned house including taking out some British Referee who had his 15 Mins of fame I’m sure.

Abyss then Choke Slammed EY and went crazy. Leading to next week’s Abyss vs. EY – Monsters Ball match, which is supposed to be the final part in EY’s plan.

I don’t really know what I want to happen anymore, probably just get Abyss back, though one would question why someone would chose to do that. And they’ve opened up a lot of good “horror movie” type stories, but then just walked away from them. So as always, they probably won’t capitalise on their potential.

Christy Hemme and Samuel Shaw had another segment, where they were at his house. I’m sure that wasn’t his house, because it looked terrible. Maybe they do get paid really badly and so I should apologise to Gunner. Either way, speaking of things being stupid, Shaw had his hand in the Candle which he didn’t realise. That’s a character trait. And it’s going to come in handy when he fights… flame man?

Still, Shaw then went to his room with a piece of Christy’s hair and put it on this Mannequin Doll he has of her in his Shrine Room.

Do you think somebody ought to tell him she posed for Playboy?

I like segments like these, but it’s where Wrestling crosses over into Television and it doesn’t work. It’s supposed to be as if the Camera men are following these two on their time off. That’s fine, but then why would a Camera man be in his secret closet. It makes no sense. Clearly Christy is capable of watching the show and therefore would have seen all of this anyway. It’s not TV, it’s Reality Entertainment. It’s a strange mix, that just makes you not buy into things, and then it makes even less sense. Like having a Motorcycle Gang without Bikes whose slogan is about Walking… WHAT!!?

 

 

 

 

Bully Ray makes his way to the ring pushing out a Coffin, then went on to talk about all the things he “used to be” and that Anderson took them all from him. The coffin symbolises the burial of The Aces and Eights and everything Bully stood for, so it is fitting that this culminates in a Casket Match. Or “Coffin Match”. Not to be mistaken for the “Coughing Match” which is entirely different.

Anderson and Bully got into another fight, but I am glad to see this type of Match. Sure it’s a silly gimmick match, and part of me wonders if Bully could actually fit in the Coffin he had with him, smart game plan really.

I do wonder where they both go from here, but I look forward to watch it unfold.

Magnus and Ethan Carter the third vs. Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe – Contracts vs. Number One Contendership

Basically, if Angle or Joe lost, they leave TNA. And if Angle or Joe pin either Magnus or EC3 they get a World Championship shot.

The investor added the stipulation that if anyone interferes in the match they will be fired. I still need to buy those shares, buying shares sounds great. I could buy a share in TNA and start demanding things.

Earlier in the night Magnus spoke to EC3 about how he doesn’t like him, and that he has to Team with EC3 and should he lose he must defend his title. Which is sort of silly, as Magnus agreed to the stipulation and also chose EC3 to be his partner.

That aside, I actually love that Magnus is a fighting champion. Sure he has a lot of help, but he’s not running from fights, he’s demanding them. He also isn’t afraid to show that he’s happy to be the face of TNA, but that doesn’t mean he likes who he’s aligned with, but he will do whatever he has to, to further his Career… I respect that. Screw this for my family crap.

The good news is that Samoa Joe made Magnus tap-out. That’s good because I always wish Joe was more old school. He was intimidating to watch when he first showed up in TNA, it was shortly after I finished up with my “Wrestling Training” attempt and I remember thinking “screw getting in the ring with this guy”. Joe was a force, and I felt sorry for his opponents. It wasn’t till I saw him in a Q&A I attended a year later where he seemed like a great guy outside of the ring. The last few years or so, Joe has been a shell of his former self, so I’m glad to see him be the one to get the Title Shot, though I do think Joe will be fired shortly after ala AJ Styles. But if Joe came back full force, undefeated, quick matches, impactful moves and unstoppable, I’m on board for that journey.

The highlight would be Dixie leading Spud to the ring holding hands and Spud keeled over from his attack earlier on in the night. What is more interesting is that Joe stated he and Angle will be staying in TNA for a long, long, time.

Now Angle has always said he would go back to the WWE, but of late he’s been saying “I can’t lie to myself any longer, I want to go back”. Well good riddance. I like Kurt, but if he doesn’t want to stay with TNA, to help build TNA, then leave. His pay check can go toward getting new talent or better invested in something to build the product.

What is more ridiculous is that Kurt now wants to be in the TNA Hall of Fame, asking Dixie to roll out her Chequebook and induct him, and invite the new investor.

So let’s get this straight, Kurt Angle, who has had a great run in TNA, gets arrested for DUI… again, and leaves for rehab. Upon returning he has beef with Bobby Roode who says Angle isn’t Hall of Fame material…. then Angle rejects the Hall of Fame.. proving Roode to be right… but still has a problem with Roode… despite he was right, and Angle showed it.

Angle then says he needs to cement his position within TNA once more, and win the World Championship once more, which to me, says “hey, I screwed up, I made a mistake, I went to rehab, but I’m back to be the best!”. So Angle injures himself and loses countless matches, then barely wins a Cage match against Roode by “falling” and then Joe wins the Tag-Match and gets a World Title Match.. and it’s then that Angle feels he has proven himself to be Hall of Fame Worthy?

Are you kidding me.

Angle hall of fame standards

That was Kurt’s Road to Glory and Journey to the Immortals. He’s happy with a losing streak, a close victory and a win by his Partner. That’s enough for him to want to be in the Hall of Fame? I still don’t get how he beating Roode by falling faster than Roode crawled is “winning the war” after Roode beat him three times in singles competition alone. I would revoke the Offer and tell him to get lost. Speaking of Revoking the offer, Dixie had a fit and shouted for this Investor to turn up. And he did, being MVP. Surprising everyone.  Well least he tried, but everyone was expecting it. And much to my dismay, I actually rather enjoyed it, and I look forward to seeing what happens next week.

Least TNA have learnt from that horrible “August 1 Warning” flop in their face.

So a good show, even if I had a good rant!

I’m sure Storm will turn on Gunner, and I hope to see MVP and the Wolves next week and look forward to more twists and turns in the road.

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

www.thesteelchair.com

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

 

www.striketapandgrapple.com

www.cageamateursuk.com

The Jobber Blogger #83 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 26/12/13

December 30, 2013 by DiVineDiablo

Jobber Blogger New Year

Well it’s not Christmas Eve anymore, but then it’s not the New Year yet also, so it’s time to end the year with a bang! Least, from my perspective currently whilst Writing this blog, I hope it ends with a Bang. Not like my computer blows up, or someone knocks on the door or something, more like I hope this is a good one!

It’s been an Amazing Year folks, and thanks go out to all of those whom have Read my many ramblings in my first full year of doing this. It has flown by to be honest, and for anyone who wants to get into Writing and keeping up to date, then telling yourself you’re going to Cover a Weekly show is the way to do it. They provide the material, you sit back and make fun, and huzah! Let your Three Readers at best roll in to witness it all.

Well it’s soon to be a New Year, and like everyone, The Jobber Blogger hopes it brings new heights! And with certain plans in my pockets, who knows what might happen! Of course, until then, it’s time to do this for the consecutive Eighty Third time!

Impact Wrestling Logo

 TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 26/12/13

I suppose before we kick it into “Covering the Show” let’s plug Total Nonstop Rewind’s / Jobber Blogger presented – “Best of 2013”. Each day for the next week a new Category will go up on www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind where you can view, comment and vote on your favourites from the chosen Nominees. So go get yourself over there now!

newcomer nom

Speaking of best new comers, Nominee 2013: Rockstar Spud kicked off Impact this week, with new Entrance theme… even less Rockstar than before. I think it’s time for a name change. Spud as a name is something I despise, I knew a guy named Spud.. so it’s degraded because of that, my other half knew a different guy named Spud, a girl I went to Uni with got nicknamed Spud, so yeah, I despise the name a little. But you know what, Rockstar Spud has a lot of qualities to best resemble “Spud”. I once created a Wrestler back in the old “Smackdown” games called “Neon”. He was a “Edge” inspired guy, mixed with GTA: Vice City, which the Magazine spread I was reading had a whole article on how the 80’s Neon Glow of the City set the stage and tone of the Game. So then Neon was born, and he was kinda crappy. I liked the idea, but he needed a make-over, so he became Neon Red, and Dark Neon, etc, each persona carried his abilities and general theme, but over time his look and attitude changed (as it so does in Wrestling) and his name was versatile enough to make the transition with him. He then became “Devil Neon” to team with my top CAW – Wild Thing and they sported similar looks. Till of course, inevitably they broke up as a Team and were forced to battle each other over who keeps the image. Wild Thing won, being the original (though it literally could have gone either way) so poor Neon had to once again go under a new style, and lose the one gimmick that brought him success. And so he became Poisneon a mix on neon and poison, and re-branded himself ala Sting. A look which proved very successful.

Okay, so I shall stop talking about the insane amount of Hours I spent on my own Make Believe Wrestling Federation, where I filled every single available Create-A-Wrestler slot, and spent so many hours planning storylines and what not. My Nerdiness runs much, much deeper into my history of “Wrestling Federations”, I had Draws and Draws full of Wrestling Figures, and I used to plan out my Storylines “years” in advance, (a month was like a Week to me, so I get through a year pretty quickly). I then used to plan out RAW and SmackDown with matches, and interview slots, all of it to make sense for the right title changes and storyline development. I had many Note-Books full of PPV’s then when it got to the PPV, I used to set up my Tape-Recorder and do running commentary on it. I had a pile of CD’s on my left with my CD Player, I knew every track for which Theme, I knew every last Second of the Songs for the Right Entrance Music to the perfect “Winning Theme” point in the song. I had a load of Tissue Paper to elastic band round my desk light to create the right lighting for the Wrestlers. I had rolls and rolls of PVC tape I used to customise my figures for the right Wrist Tape and new Ring-Gear. I even made (with help) real fabric T-shirts for when I pushed my low-card guys to the Main Events. I had loads of elastic to make new and nifty Ring-Ropes, and I had loads of blocks of Polystyrene to create these huge (one of a kind) Stages for my PPV’s every Month. Well, top that off with my Video Game (CAWs) and eFed’s, then I think you get a pretty good idea of how Wrestling obsessed I was.

My figure Storylines peaked when I “retired / fired / quit” some of the guys from the WWE, and I had customised many of my old Figures to match the TNA guys, because back then Jaxxs made the WWE figures, and Matel I believe did the TNA ones (like the old WCW ones) so they did not match in size. So I customised the likes of Abyss, AJ Styles, Raven, Ron Killings, BG James, I retired Jeff Hardy, bought a new DDP, everything was getting ready for this big TNA Invasion and then I grew up. Change that with (I didn’t want to be embarrassed) and you have the real answer. So my TNA love goes back many, many years too. I really should get a job in the Wrestling Industry.

 

So anyway Rockstar Spud kicked off Impact this week with new music, how the hell did I get on that rant? Oh yes, name change. Spud suits him, Rockstar not so much anymore. I think if he went through “Changes / Gimmicks” Spud can stay intact, and he go back to being a Rockstar, and he can be Chief Spud, or something like that. It’s a Mick Foley esk character change, that works amazingly well. Mick himself put it best when he reverted back to Cactus Jack in time for his infamous Street Fight with HHH nearly 14 years ago!!!!! o.O

He went from Mankind to being Cactus Jack, and all he really did was “take off his shirt” but it’s the legacy and mind set he established with each gimmick that made him a New Character, and that Character was capable of different things. It’s an awesome idea that has only ever been done with Mick in Wrestling to any success. Not that Spud is the right guy for it, but that idea could certainly carry.

Spud was out to introduce the “Woman Responsible for everything” who is the equivalent of “Lady Gaga, Santa Clause and Queen Elizabeth” rolled into one. Which is strange, because Dixie Carter came out, and I was expecting someone more like

Queen Lady Santa

The running Gag being that Dixie had this big “Announcement” or in reality (a desperate struggle for Ratings) but before she could announce it, Jeff Hardy headed to the ring.

Jeff didn’t really have much to say, just going on about how he doesn’t care about Dixie, and Dixie’s “Champion” and blabbing on endlessly about being sick of everything. Spud however got in the face of Hardy, which is the more noteworthy part of Hardy’s involvement, noteworthy more so because I wrote it down in my notes. Still, Hardy throttled and threatened Spud, which is when EC3 attacked Hardy.

Dixie then went to finally make her announcement when Sting got involved. Sting’s whole point was that he is also “Sick and tired of these entitled punks” and demanded a match against them.

Which is where Dixie rejected the match, then made the match, and took credit for it. So that’s cool. The match being Sting and Hardy against Spud and EC3.

Gunner was then next in line to disrupt Dixie, wanting to Cash-In his World Title Shot against Magnus, but alas, Magnus was “abroad celebrating”.

And then Storm got involved stating Gunner owed him and wanted a Match for the Briefcase.

Storm is now getting more paranoid that Gunner was the one who tipped off Bobby Roode that he was in that Bar, and led to Storm getting beaten down, then got his ass kicked in the match with Roode, till Gunner “threw in the towel” Either way, Dixie agreed to letting Storm and Gunner fight it out for the Briefcase, and that being punishment for Gunner interrupting her, and therefore she isn’t going to make the announcement till later on in the show.

James Storm vs. Gunner – World Heavyweight Championship Shot – Briefcase

What do you call this Stipulation?

Anyway, the opening of Impact was actually pretty good, I liked the chaotic-ness of it all. Sure it was a tad anti-climatic but it worked well.

I was just about to get into this match, after noting Gunner is wearing is Iron Maiden attire again. Till of course, Tragedy struck.

I went to get comfy and inadvertently kicked my empty bowl of Noodles sending a stream of “Noodle Juice” across my carpet. The whole was like a horrible flash back to I believe Undertaker vs. Mark Henry many years ago on Smackdown (soon after he reverted back to the Deadman).I ran down in the commercial break to get a glass of milk and dropped the Milk… I have never, ever, seen anything like the mess it made. I literally covered every single Kitchen Cupboard in Milk. I just looked around with dripping Milk everywhere. The whole floor…. MILK! It’s safe to say I missed the match cleaning it up.

Least this time round I just pressed Pause, and cleaned the Carpet. But while I was at it, I figured I might as well get another Mug of Tea. Now I have this HUGE Mug, and trying to stir my boiling hot tea proved to be just as problematic. For I ended up dropping the Tea-Spoon into my mug, so to stir it, I needed the spoon, to get the Spoon I had to stick my fingers in boiling hot tea. Of course the Spoon is Metal, so even when I got the Spoon, it was boiling hot and I dropped it back in the Tea,…. many, many times. Sure I could have got another Spoon, or used a cloth or something. But you know what, screw it! I was determined to do it, and suffer! God Damn You Noodle Juice!

I since learnt you say that 3 Times in a Mirror and nothing happens. Maybe.

Noodle Juice

In the end though, Gunner Speared Storm through the ropes, and right then you could see how it was going to end. But alas, Storm bounced Gunner’s head into the Steel Steps when Hebner counted them both out. Funny how normally they do it so everyone pays attention, but when they want people to get counted out, they do it as quietly as possible. Still, it didn’t end there as Storm and Gunner carried on beating each other up.

But I don’t know if that’s such a good match for Storm, as Taz quite clearly said, Gunner is built like a “Brick Sh*t House”…. now that’s a Lego Set kids wouldn’t want for Christmas.

Brick House

Brooke and Bully shared a nice little segment, which might actually have been my favourite from this week’s show. It started with Brooke approaching Bully backstage and claiming to have not heard from him in weeks, and “Who is this?” she asks about his current persona. She then threatens to tell the World all his little secrets, to which he says “that’s not a good idea”.

But she goes to the ring anyway, she is now a “bimbo” or at best I could gather by her current gimmick. She’s always been a weird mix of awesome and slutty. And funny enough depending on where you stand on those boundaries, you will either find her entirely awesome or entirely slutty. Still, with new music she has ditched the “Don’t Mess with Tess” and become this more “biker ish, sort of, groupie”. But, I quite like it.

I think now is the perfect time for her to ditch the “Tessmacher” it’s been gone since she just became “Brooke” with The Aces and Eights, but just let her be Brooke Adams, it’s a good name.

Still, she refused to be held accountable for the demise of The Aces and Eights, even though she threw the Hammer, which Anderson caught and that led to his Victory, all of it was Bully’s plan, it just didn’t “go to plan”.

Bully then came out, with his 2003 Undertaker look

2003 taker

Bully quickly went from the Clay Morrow running the Club (minus the awesome ideas and great planning) and quickly has become the Clay Morrow with no club mooching around doing nothing.

Brooke encourages Bully to “Tell the Truth” which, who knows what that is. But what’s actually rather awesome is when Brooke shed light on the fact that she has watched him “Destroy and lose everything”. Bully is left with no Heavyweight Championship, no Club, no Brother, no Family, and that’s actually yet another really cool Character Development. Even if it is a little bit “AJ Styles”.

The fact she compared Bully to a “Weird High-School Kid with no Friends” is what topped the Segment for me. Now there’s a good Wrestling Gimmick they haven’t fully explored.

Bully then of course stole the segment by saying he doesn’t blame Brooke because “you’re not much in the Brains Department” “Kept you around for other uses, but you weren’t much good at those either”. The little “sometimes when we were together I used to picture Brooke number one” was an excellent cheap shot. Though Bully has one final use for Brooke, and that’s to spread his word.

Which is when the Segment got really good, and weird, and kinda cheesy as they played this ominous dark tone whilst Bully spoke about how “Evil” and “Sinister” he is, and that it’s only going to get “A lot Worse”.

So whatever they are building to with Bully should be awesome, no doubt going in a more Hardcore Direction, which seems fitting. Perhaps Tommy Dreamer plays into that with their match coming up soon on TNA’s One Night Only PPV.

Joseph Park vs. Bad Influence – Monsters Ball Match

If I can find it, I shall embed the Awesome Video Package they ran before this match. It was a great look at the whole Joseph Park / Abyss storyline, but it’s certainly running dry, which is why I fear they have just kicked it into over-drive to get it done with. Of course the bad side of that is I don’t think it will have reached its potential. Which is TNA’s greatest quote “It’s good… never reaches its Potential though”.

I’ve been saying it for years, TNA have great ideas and terrible execution with an even worse pay off.

EY got Park to enter with Abyss’ music, but they kept Joseph Park’s video. So that made a whole deal of sense.

Park kept Janice close, till of course Bad Influence knocked her out of Park’s hands, which is when they just beat him down for the majority of the match.

Speaking of beating things down, or even beating things in. Here’s a good plug for IGN’s Let’s Play with Christopher Daniels!…. yep, the whole wording of Beating, and then a title of “Let’s Play with Christopher Daniels” certainly paints a rather bleak image in one’s head.

IGN – Christopher Daniels – Let’s Play

Kaz was about to smash Park over the head with a Steel Chair till Daniels stopped him, so they didn’t make Park bleed, hence not bringing out his “Abyss mode”, strange how they’ve only just come to this conclusion a year later, and only because Eric Young pointed it out.

It was all a little odd, it mixed humour with this weird type of horror story thing. Obviously in the end Park tried to run away from Kaz and Daniels who were just beating him down till Eric Young came out to encourage Park. Though EY’s best efforts of “making him bleed” didn’t work out, in the end Kaz swung the Kendo stick which EY dodged and it busted Park open badly, sending him into Abyss mode.

Park then won the match with Blood everywhere and picked up Janice. So I don’t know if that means he is Abyss, or he has found Abyss or what. It didn’t involved barbed wire or thumb tacks, it didn’t really do a lot.

The thing is, if Park is only sent into this “Abyss” mode by seeing his own blood, why would you want to revert him back? Also if you want it to be a permanent thing, how is that going to work. Personally I think EY should just hit him over the head with different things to see which worked till it did. Though a weird mash up of a crazy Joseph Park with Abyss would be good. If the whole experiment went in a complete different direction and they made a hybrid, unstable, monster that tore through everything and everyone. That would be cool. I should write this show, I’ve got years of experience with Toys.

Lei’D Tapa (w/Gail Kim) vs. ODB

Gone are the days of “The Unstoppable Force meets The Immovable Object”  like the great Hogan / Andre battle. Nope, Taz summed this one up as “King Kong vs. OctoPussy” so that says a lot.

kong octopus

Before I go off into a semi-rant, let’s cut to the finish, Gail Kim slid the Knockouts Championship in the ring, which distracted the Ref, so when ODB picked up Lei’D Tapa to slam her, Gail pulled ODB’s hair and Tapa fell on top of her and got the victory.

I put “Weak” and underlined it twice.

Now what I mean by that, is Lei’D Tapa is built like a Female Wrestler we haven’t seen before. Sure we’ve had our Chyna’s and Awesome Kong’s and I’m sure there are similar Wrestlers like Tapa out in the indies. But on Television, Lei’D Tapa is “SOMETHING DIFFERENT”. For my money she’s better than Kong, she is built like the perfect giant, Amazon type. The way Matt Morgan was a giant built like a perfect Man, Tapa is the exact right proportion she should be, she’s just really Big. Now that makes her an attraction.

When she debuted she started by taking out all of the Knockouts with ease, now that was awesome. Then they made her Gail’s lackey and she’s been rather terrible ever since. Sure she would just be a Female in Squash matches, but the fact that Gail needed to help Tapa win? Now that makes her look incredibly Weak. The fact Madison Rayne beat Gail Kim last week, what the hell does that do for Lei’D Tapa.

You are going to have to flick a switch to be able to build her into what she is naturally built as. To say this was THE meeting between both Tapa and ODB it was forgettable. They should have devoted time to build it as a feud, to actually have suspense around their encounter. They missed every opportunity and in the process just flat lined Tapa’s potential.

During the show we had a “Rise of Magnus” video package that was Magnus talking about his journey to where he is now. It was one of those weird “Shoot / Work” videos, where he had genuine gripes of is shaky start and years spent to get somewhere. Mixed with the Work angel of his new Heel persona and cashing in on that opportunity to become the World Champion. With Magnus set to appear next week on Impact, I personally want to see him be full out Heel, new Music, new look, new attitude. I half suspect he will be, but time will tell.

Jeff Hardy and Sting vs. Ethan Carter the Third and Rockstar Spud and The Bromans (w/Zema Ion)

No you didn’t read that wrong, and yes you probably already watched the Show. Dixie finally made her announcement which if that got people to stay tuned to Impact and didn’t want to, then no, it was not worth their time. She purely said Magnus will be here next week. And then announced that The Bromans will be teaming with EC3 and Spud in this Handicap match.

Throughout the night Jeff has been a little off, Sting was trying to get him fired up, but Jeff didn’t seem to be biting. Then we saw him on the phone with his Wife Beth where he said “I need to do this”.

Anyway, Jeff hit a Senton Dive over the Ropes to take out everyone, so it made up for it. Also have I mentioned how good The Bromans are now that Zema is with them. I miss his DJ Desk, the idea of him making stupid noises and shouting out over the match is a highlight I want to see every week.

I guess the main story is that EC3 avoided fighting Sting, Spud avoided doing anything, which they are building this thing about Spud not actually being a capable Wrestler. Which I like, the work they’ve done with Spud in a matter of weeks has really paid off. He is perfect for this Role, and to have him seem like the “incapable” Wrestler is perfect. I never knew Steven Richards could Wrestle, I didn’t know that at all when Right to Censor first came on the scene. So to some, they won’t know anything about Spud, though Spud was Wrestling with the TNA guys 8 years ago in the UK, he’s been on the circuit a long time.

In the end though, Sting was cleaning house when EC3 caught him in a Roll Up from Behind and got the win. Which of course just annoyed Sting further, though with EC3 having a World Tag-Team Title Shot, I guess it’s quite obvious that Spud could indeed be his Partner. What is more interesting though is that they are friends with the Bromans, the Champions, so how they will resolve that issue will be interesting. It could be to turn Bromans Face if they refuse to “lose” to Dixie’s “boys”.

And then the show ended with Jeff apologising to Sting for last week, and for tonight. And did his really awkward screaming “I’m not buying into a single word your saying” speech where he said Dixie is driving him crazy (funny, because he went to meet with her two weeks ago, and clearly didn’t realise she was different then). He said he wants to Fight, but has no Fight left, and that he has Wrestled his Last Match for TNA – and then regrettably added “Until the Sun Shines on this Great Kingdom Once More!”. So much for going out with your head held high, just ruined a good speech.

Either way, this is the news that got people in a huff on the Internet about Jeff leaving TNA. The very idea someone in that crowd witnessed that Speech and thought he was actually leaving and it wasn’t storyline, just Baffles my mind. It is quite obviously Storyline and Jeff will be back at some point. Probably with AJ Styles, Chavo Guerrero, Sting maybe and Jeff Jarrett.

As they assemble to battle Dixie’s Power Trip. Hell, Hogan might even show up… hopefully not though, I don’t really miss him.

Here is my problem  though, sure this whole TNA Originals vs. Dixie Carter Power Trip thing is an awesome idea. Though it is still an invading Faction esk Idea. The bigger problem comes with the fact that having The Good Guys run the show is not anyway near as good as having the Bad Guys run the show. Dixie’s Heel Run has been some of the best work TNA has done, period. She is a great catalyst for everyone else to work off from, the friction between her and AJ was great. When Anderson came back and she was getting him arrested was awesome, shame that has died down. Hogan in charge was a little bit of a bore, so was Sting. So this is great currently. And she has EC3 and Spud who can take an Ass Kicking for her.

Still, whatever that are working towards excites me! And it should excite you too!

See you all in the New Year!

Till Then,

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

http://www.striketapandgrapple.com

http://www.cageamateursuk.com

The Jobber Blogger #82 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – FINAL RESOLUTION – 19/12/13

December 24, 2013 by DiVineDiablo

 Jobber Blogger Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! No, don’t be silly, I wouldn’t ever take the time out of my Christmas to sit at my computer and Write about Wrestling for hours. But I will do it on Christmas Eve!

So the principle is still the same.

We are nearing the end of 2013 and that means the “Best Of’s” are right around the Corner, I have been putting Pen to Paper and Eyes to Screens and Paper to Eyes and I drew on my Computer a little bit, all to figure out this Year’s edition of the Best of 2013. Unlike last year I will be doing “Nominees” instead of just picking and choosing, but alas, that isn’t this, and this isn’t that, and so let’s get ready to break down Final Resolution!

TNA Final Resolution

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – FINAL RESOLUTION – 19/12/13

Though on the surface it seems like this was a little “thin” on the Match front, but then I guess that does make sense given the fact it’s a TV Special and still only slotted into One and a Half Hours of Television. But on the flip side, it does mean it’s One and a Half Hours of Great Television. Though I watched it on my Computer.. through an HDMI onto my TV… so what does that count as? TV / Web / Stream?

Magnus kicked off the night with a nifty little “is Dixie and Jeff here yet?” backstage paranoia, then he just went to the ring to give them both something to “react” to.

See, I like Magnus, I always have, he’s full of potential, and I would have liked to see him carry the Television Championship (back when it was defended on TV) for a little while. In fact the TV Title is a great concept if they keep up with it. Still, that’s an argument for another day, (I also don’t miss it) but something about this Speech Magnus gave did “rub me the wrong way”

rubbed wrong way

Magnus went on to talk about how he “Loved this Business” but then he said something that stuck a little, “I can’t change where I’m from”. Now I don’t know how much of this was Written, it’s probably just to try and get the U.S fans on his side as a fabled “America is awesome!” and people eat it up despite its many, many, many flaws they seem to be utterly oblivious to. I’m sure Magnus is proud to be from England, but here’s the other side of that coin, TNA have since issued (spoilers) a Press Release about how Magnus is the first British World Heavyweight Champion (of this magnitude) in 108 years. So why would they write his speech as if he wanted to change where he was from?

Magnus Resent

Still, Magnus’ main problem… also on a side note, anyone actually stop and think that his name used to be Brutus, I just remembered that. That’s a “lol” moment and hopefully a future Bad Influence interaction.

So yeah, Magnus wanted to blab on about Jeff Hardy going to see Dixie at the end of last week’s show in her “VIP” banquet. He threw out phrases like “proud to work in America” “always been about Pride, Dignity, Respect” but can the same be said about Jeff?

Anyway, of course Jeff then hit the ring to set Magnus straight, which is funny because mere minutes ago he hadn’t arrived, but then he was there just in time to hear what Magnus had to say. Ahh, the fun of little gripes. Like a Perfect Meal with One Tiny Flaw you can Pick at all night…. (anyone?)

Anyway, the rest of the segment goes as you would imagine, Jeff being all defensive, to the point that the crowd were against him. Magnus brought up the 10/10/10 Immortal Heel Turn, and in the end Jeff just said “Worry about your own life, don’t worry about mine” and left.

This whole “Is Jeff in cahoots with Dixie?” angel plagued the entire show, and whilst I appreciate the effort of trying to cloud people’s minds and turn the tables so to speak on the “Good Guy”, it also opens up many plot holes. But I will get  back to that rant later!

Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode – 2 out of 3 Falls

I shall let you in on a little secret, I actually sat watching this match thinking to myself “I like it when I’m surprised, but clearly, there’s no way Roode is winning this”.

And of course much to my surprise Roode actually picked up the first fall rather quickly, (rather quickly being a good phrase to describe this match also). After a timely “kick to the groin” Roode got the first fall under his belt in no time. Which obviously doesn’t mean much, it just goes to show the normal “formula” of the Heel on top and the Face fighting back.

What bugged me the more though was that only a short amount of time later, Angle pinned Roode with an Angle Slam. It came from a chain of moves, but it wasn’t anything special. Nor did he really “beat down” Roode to the point that he would be beat. So this whole idea of Angle can’t beat Roode was then changed when Angle beat Roode easily with doing very little. I would get it if Roode took a lot of punishment, or eventually tapped to the Ankle-Lock after gut-wrenching agony. But no, he just “lost” easily.

The highlight of the match would probably come with Angle using the “Cross-Face” on Roode, which Roode managed to counter, which was then Reversed into the Angle-Slam but Roode kicked out. Which would have been better if he had lost the second fall after a series of moves like that, gruelling effort and all.

The finish came with Roode rolling through from the Ankle-Lock, trapping Kurt in a Pin and held the Ropes to get the 3-Count.

So yeah, I really wanted Roode to win, I love Roode, he’s awesome. Angle is obviously good too, but this match (though good) did feel a little fast paced for my liking, rather than a more “PPV Quality” bout. But having Roode picking up the win does correct that.

We later had a backstage segment with Kurt talking about how Roode has had his number every step of the way and that Angle has never faced this before in his career and he will have to “think what my next move is” regarding where he goes from now in his Career.

Also the use of the Cross-Face still kind of bugs me, it just reeks of Benoit, and that’s a horrible stink. Match that against Kurt and it reeks of the feuds they both had years ago, and that’s a horrible thing too. I get that Roode is Canadian and it’s a good hold, but I still don’t like it.

Seeing as I did a good ol bit of “plugging” last week for Brian Altano’s Misanthrope album, I think it’s time I actually remember to promote TNA’s new line of Deluxe Impact Series x11 – Figures. Featuring Austin Aries, Velvet Sky, Jeff Hardy and Commander Riker from Star-Trek the Next Generation:

Deluxe Impact 11

Eric Young heads to the ring to continue his “experiment” in finding Abyss inside Joseph Park. Which also hit me that I myself have just come to a rather unexpected conclusion!

Park Penn

To take it one step further!

Penn and Teller

To help along this experiment, EY has secured Park a match against Bad Influence next week in a “Monsters Ball”. And to help Park prepare, EY gave him some early Christmas Presents, a Steel Chair, a Bag of Thumbtacks and some Barbed Wire. And to top it all off, Janice, which was hidden under the ring, which is when Park decided to agree to the Match.

I can’t decide if they will just let Park find “Abyss” or if “Abyss” will turn up, one of the two will happen. I think it’s more likely he will find Abyss, but it’s nice to see this moving along now. Not to mention next week’s match should be pretty good!

Feast or Fired

They kept mentioning that “Smith and Stone Lawfirm” were in charge of handling this matter, but I would have thought they could have someone a little more.. you know, better qualified?

Smith and Stone

The fact James Storm accompanied Gunner into the room shows you that something is going down between the two. He was stood at the back of Gunner’s Chair like a Lover tagging along to a Doctor’s Appointment. Made it worse when Hernandez didn’t turn up to help give Chavo much needed Support.

Apparently Smith and Stone decided how to open the Briefcases also, and it wasn’t 1,2,3,4 like any normal person would think is fair.

Still, the segment had “Dramatic Music / Camera Cuts” and shoddy written all over it. Zema picked up an X-Division title Shot, which is fine given how the rest of the Cases played out, though it’s a tad on the nose.

Gunner got the World Heavyweight Championship shot which he then declared “Finally get what I deserve!” leaving a close up shot of James Storm looking on annoyed.

Then Sting turns up and has a big rant about Entitlement and Legacy, and that someone like EC3 who was “given the job because he is a relation to Dixie” has an equal chance of keeping his job as Chavo does “who has worked his entire life for his profession”. Sting offered EC3 the chance to give Sting the briefcase, and he will accept its fate, on the condition he Wrestles him just once. EC3 kept the case and won a World Tag-Title Match, and Chavo got fired. So it’s good news all round really.

The bit that bugged me was Sting asking if Chavo ever got handed anything in his Career, and he said because he is a Guerrero he had to work twice as hard. Which makes no sense at all.

Everyone knows he’s been Riding Eddie’s coat-tails for the majority of his career, the fact his second name is Guerrero is the only reason he’s got a job, lord knows it’s not because he’s a “great Wrestler”. Hell, even the Guerrero name didn’t carry him to great heights, for they re-branded him as freakin’ Kerwin White and he sucked even more.

That’s like saying Lacey Von Erich was in TNA because she was a fantastic Talent, she couldn’t Wrestle for sh*t, she only had the job because of her second name.

Entitlement my arse!

The only down side is I have a bad feeling Chavo will be back. But till then, let’s sit back and enjoy the possibilities.

Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa vs. ODB and Madison Rayne

Okay so part of the match ODB and Lei’D Tapa actually got to have a bit of a fight, something I’ve been ranting and raving about for ages now. And guess what, I hadn’t even realised it was going on and completely blanked straight through it. So that’s a good sign of things to come.

See that’s the thing, Lei’D Tapa isn’t being built up as this “Force” that she is. Her first match wasn’t even really played on as her first match, nor did she really come across as “impressive”. ODB and Tapa should have had this great Stand Off in the match where it actually felt it was “proving ground” for Tapa, yet they just carried on like a normal Match and therefore this “Spark” of unexplored territory became explored so quickly that I slept through it.

Madison seems to be in great shape though, and I’m glad she’s back. It’s nice that they are building on the fact that Madison and Gail used to be friends, but isn’t everyone in the Wrestling Business? Anyway, Gail set up Madison for Eat Defeat, but it was countered into a Back-Slide and Madison won. So I guess that’s the end of the Open Challenge, and it kind of sucked.

But I am glad Madison is back, though I doubt she will win the Championship.

Jeff Hardy vs. Magnus – New World Heavyweight Championship – Dixie Land Match

Okay, so before the match got underway, Jeff cut a promo telling everyone about what happened with Dixie. This after Samoa Joe went to see him for a sit down chat, and Sting went to see him but in a much nicer way. So Jeff mentioned 10/10/10 and that he made a bad decision, and everyone saw how that ended up at Victory Road. Dixie though offered Jeff a good bit of Money to be “Her Champion” but he knew that meant she would “Own” him, and as he put it “No-Body Owns Me!” and that he told Dixie to “Stick it!”. He then said he wants to Win the World Championship and be like AJ Styles and do it for the “People”.

So before we carry on, what is wrong with all of this? For starters, why the hell did Jeff go and see Dixie? Yes, I get it from an Audience swerve perspective, and Wrestling fans are so stupid that it’s amazing it worked (and believe me it worked… I talked to someone first hand who bought into it… it’s scary!)

But here is my problem, as someone who is a little more picky, at least in terms of Wrestling Storylines, you need to give me some reason why Jeff went to see her. Because if Jeff didn’t realise that Dixie was going to offer him money to do her bidding, then he’s an idiot… so I have no respect for that. Jeff told her to “Stick It”.. I doubt that, and again, what the hell was he expecting… so he’s an idiot. Now if Jeff’s other avenues, like Music and Art, which gets pumped through Dixie was mentioned and Jeff was “blackmailed” of sorts into meeting with her, then I understand. Any type of reason to get Jeff there that gives him credit rather than being an idiot is what I’m looking for. So I hope this isn’t the end of this “thing” and that Jeff actually has been placed between a Rock and a Hard Place, and his rebellious nation against the “Boss” is what leads to him “Leaving” TNA, then I am all for it. So that’s what I hope for.

Anywho, let’s carry on, Dixie headed to the ring to confront Jeff and his little speech. Dixie declared he has one thing in common with AJ, and that is that Dixie “made him”, his music, and art, and merchandise, and giving him the opportunities and second chances, he owes all of it to her. Which is true. And if Jeff doesn’t do as she wants, he will find himself out of a Job like AJ Styles. So hopefully this develops and evolves and runs deeper than he just went for a Meal “because he’s oblivious and an idiot”.

Anyway, the Match was fantastic, everything I wanted from it. Both Jeff and Magnus missed top rope moves, which led to EC3 coming out to stand with Dixie. Keeping up the theory that Jeff is an idiot the rules quite clearly state “You Need To Climb Over The Top of The Cage!” but he decided to try and fit through the Camera Hole

Jeff Hole

Probably the highlight of the Match was Jeff hitting a Perfect “Whisper in the Wind” from the Top of the Cage all the way down onto Magnus.

Magnus had nearly escaped the Cage when EC3 got involved to hold Magnus back, but Jeff resenting the help from Dixie took out EC3. Hardy then hit the Twist-of-Fate on Magnus on the Ramp, before making his way to the Ladder on the Stage. Hardy threw his Shirt at Dixie and then climbed the Ladder, and that’s when Rockstar Spud pushed the Ladder over and Hardy literally went Head-First and crash landed on the Ramp, which looked horrible. So okay, he didn’t go through tables like I predicted last week… he skipped on the possibilities of a softer landing, and decided to go head first on a Ramp, which was a horrible landing.

And of course that’s when Spud, EC3 and Dixie all rooted for Magnus, and he took the offer, climbed the Ladder got the Belt and sold out!

So everything happened as expected, but it was an awesome match and a great ending… I really hope Jeff is okay, coz that fall looked really painful.

Next week, Magnus as new Champ and Monsters Ball!

Huzah!

Have a Great Christmas Everyone!…… Linda!

Jeff Shark

Till Then,

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

TNR Cover 12

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