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The Jobber Blogger #120 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 14/8/14

Jobber Blogger hardyz copyOne Hundred and Twenty times, and I’ve blabbed on about crap! Oh yes, good old TNA: Wrestling, Impact Wrestling, WRESTLING WRESTLING WRESTLING!

What a weird and wonderful place you find yourselves in. So putting Dixie through a Table boosted the ratings to continue TNA’s current run of “a good month”, putting the much hyped, four month build up of putting a Woman through a Table the highest rated Impact show since February. Which means! Back in February they had a higher rated show and Dixie needn’t have gone through a Table.

ALAS!

This means nothing really. Well aside from the Network bosses who decide to pump money into your programme. And given that Spike TV isn’t looking so keen on renewing their deal with TNA, I suppose ratings mean everything.

Which is good news to know that the ratings dropped… a lot, this week. Despite this being a better show, but it’s wrestling, so who knows.

Also they didn’t spend four months building the main event. Though the WWE spent a whole year building The Rock vs. Cena and that sucked…. like, really sucked. Which is an interesting point I just made to myself, so I shall mention that later on!

So Spike might renew their current deal, who knows, but they won’t go out of business, but it’s certainly not good news.

What is worse news however is that Alberto Del Rio got the axe from the WWE for slapping some social media guy. Rightfully so, I’m sure. I’ll let you decide if I mean getting fired or slapping the guy.

… getting fired, obviously.

We all knew it would be the next step, there is the big news of a WWE talent getting fired, or quitting or being “released” then it’s the “Why?” then it’s the TNA factor.

TNA have made a career off of bad business moves of bringing in bigger named talent, dropping the belt on them, doing nothing, getting a few weeks of ratings, pissing off a lot of fans, pissing off the talent then big name star quits and it’s done.

Happens, every, single, time.

So yes, TNA apparently went right after or at least wanted to go right after getting Del Rio with the added boost of wanting to drop the Heavyweight Championship on him right away. So that’s awesome brilliant thinking. Are we seriously thinking that in 2014, after 12 freaking years, the same stupid guy has a job that does this and thinks it’s a good idea. Lets be honest, Del Rio, really isn’t all that good. Del Rio most certainly isn’t better than the talent you already have. And are you really, really, going to throw away your build up and planning and developing to just put it on the new guy whose name has some cache with a bigger company? Are we really still doing this?

For a company that has the best locker-room in the industry, they are damn lucky, most of them have still decided to stick around, because when your as stupid as to do this, all the time, you don’t deserve to be in business.

Sorry but, James Storm, Bobby Roode, Austin Aries. Sort them out first. Samoa Joe, Eric Young, Jeff Hardy, Bully Ray sort them out next. Then focus on your new talent in the following years. It’s just frustratingly pathetic, that I hope, and pray, this actually is a work, and TNA have finally decided to poke fun at the same mis-steps they always take.

Want to solve your ratings / network problem? Here’s a hint, Don’t Do The Same Thing Every Body Hates! AGAIN!

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TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 14/8/14

bluelineWell I started productively then thought you know what, I wonder how many guys came from the WWE and won the TNA title in little to no time at all. That goes to wikipedia, that goes to youtube, then you find your not even watching anything remotely relevant to why you went looking in the first place, and I guess that’s the beauty of the internet.

Or in other words, a waste of time.

Clearly.

Hot off the heels of Dixie going through a table, and yes to keep up to date with the time scheduel, this was 7th of August that the Impact show aired with Dixie’s power-bomb, funny enough days after this current TV Show was taped.

So they must have had to ruin a lot, or just one show?

I lose track, but it’s confusing, it doesn’t really matter, but I like to know that the Audience are at least up to date with what’s happening, otherwise it’s distracting.

Bully kicked off the show talking about, of course, putting Dixie through a table, and then went on to talk highly of Devon, and so Devon showed up.

Yes, we’ve all forgotten how Bully kicked him in the head, then joined up for The Aces and Eights, then also betrayed him, now they’re a team again.

It’s wrestling, got it.

Then something rather cool happened, we knew from the week before about this match, but just having Matt and Jeff confront Bully and Devon, in 2014, in TNA. It’s a little weird.

In a lot of ways the Hardyz seem much less accomplished that Team 3D, given that Jeff by himself has had more singles success than all of them combined.

Also this guy obviously didn’t know Matt was in town

handfan

Obviously we all know the history between these two teams, but again, it’s just weird to have the Hardyz back together as it is, through them in the same ring with Team 3D and it’s like what happened. I grew up with this, now it’s 2014 and the ring has six sides and everything’s gone crazy.

I guess we didn’t really need a banter filled history lesson, but I can let that slide for nostalgia purposes, what I really didn’t need was TNA’s horrible editing.

They do it all the time with the taped shows, maybe the segments go on too long, but it’s so un-organic it ruins what magic can be found.

The chants don’t build up they just “appear” with a crowd shot, then they’re gone and it’s back to talking, or a quick reaction from Bully, then back to Matt.

It’s very jarring and very annoying. And it really taints the moment they’re trying to create. The moment is there, it’s happening, but you’re cutting it out. I suppose I can live with the horrible editing of a forced history lesson promo to set the main event, because it’s one hell of a main event.

bluelineLow Ki vs. Homicide vs. Manik vs. Crazy Steve vs. DJ Z vs. Tigre Uno – 6-man Tag Team Scramble – X-Division Number One Contender Match

Yup, that’s a match type you won’t forget in a hurry.

Because of how the show is presented, you already know which guy will win. Given that only Low Ki got a Televised entrance, you know from that alone they view Low Ki as the favourite, biggest star, and clearly the one going to win. Given the last few weeks of TV Time, it’s no surprise either.

The jury is still out on whether Low Ki is even sticking around. I don’t think he’s signed a contract.

But whatever, he’s awesome, so I can get with it. I’ve never understood the appeal of Homicide. I don’t get why he keeps coming round. I know he has a fair history with TNA, but he doesn’t come across impressive in the least to me.

He does the odd flip or crazy jump, but that’s about as far as it goes, and he does that with no grace.

Poor Crazy Steve was the first to be eliminated followed by of course Tigre Uno. Yup, that trend continues.

Least he wasn’t the first to be eliminated, that would have really annoyed me. I’d rather Steve didn’t go straight away either, but given his character it fits.

What worries me is that it seems Uno knows he’s being underused, because he took his limited time and pulled out all the stops. He’s fantastic, I don’t get why they’re not using him better than just to fill matches.

I say it every episode he is on, but seriously:

tigre uno fn

In the end of course it was down to Low Ki and Homicide, again, don’t get the appeal.

But they did put on a good bout, hard hitting, fast paced, good wrestling.

Low Ki won… didn’t see that coming.

No chance he will defeat Samoa Joe in his first X-Division Championship defense, but it could start off a nice feud.

bluelineEC3, Rhino and Spud hit the ring to talk about last week’s actions of putting Dixie through a table. EC3 called for Bully to be fired, which brought out Kurt Angle – who is on the WWE track again, sick of hearing about that.

Kurt instead got them all arrested, I guess it was kind of funny. Maybe this is supposed to be the “end” of them too, but I don’t think we’ve seen the last of it. Which basically means, Dixie is gone, but she’s not gone.

The show was built around the footage from after the Show, Dixie’s condition, an interview with Dixie next week, EC3, Spud still around. It’s not done with at all. So what was the point? People don’t want it on the show, you’ve ended it, leave it. But we all know they won’t, so it’s going to go on, and drag out a little bit more, and a little bit more, until just like Dixie and Bully themselves, nobody cares anymore, and they didn’t care to start with. Move on.

bluelineMr. Anderson vs. Gunner

This match happened.

I’m not sure what the crowd was doing during this match but they seemed to go onto (I believe WWE’s Fandango dancing and theme) onto other random crowd chants.

Which means they were whole heartedly invested in this match up.

Samuel Shaw ran down to “break up” the fight, which led to Anderson punching Shaw, which led to Shaw beating up Anderson, which led to Gunner breaking them up.

It’s really not all that exiting, plus it’s on the same trend as TNA’s current trend of not trusting people. I’m fairly confident Shaw will turn out to be using Gunner all of this time.

And Anderson is really the one who is right, but looks like the bad guy. Been there done that.

bluelineBiggest news from Impact, JR Tweeted about Dixie going through a Table, and they showed it. Doubt this means anything at all, but JR has been positive about TNA for a while, surely they would listen to him and take his advice. I think it’s the actual “in ring” segments of Wrestling he enjoys… you know, from a Wrestling show.

JRTNA

bluelineAngelina Love vs. Velvet vs. Gail Kim vs. Taryn Tarrell – Knockouts Championship

Isn’t it far too soon to be playing the only card Wrestling can think of, the competition between friends. Angelina and Velvet are “butting heads” already, again, again I might add. We’ve been down this road before too.

With the same people.

Again.

I’m still rather confident there will be a “surve ball” in here somewhere and the Beautiful People pretending to have issues will be the downfall of Gail’s current Knockouts Championship run.

Least that is wishful thinking, I suppose that would have to go to Velvet. Which is cool, she’s only held the belt once, and it wasn’t for long.

Taryn dived off the top rope to the floor taking everyone down, living up to her crazy and short legacy.

Something I really liked about the New York fans is that they do seem to respond well to the Knockouts, and I mean the Knockouts actually Wrestling. I respect that.

To be honest I respect any Wrestling fan that actually gives respect to the Wrestlers. I was a little appaulled by some fans in Manchester when I was there last year who were booing the Knockouts and yelling for them to get out the ring. The Knockouts Division in TNA is one of their strongest assets, they need to grow it more if anything.

The Beautiful People wouldn’t let either of themselves win, and Taryn cleaned the ring (and somehow managed to take herself out of the ring with a clothesline), Gail then dropped Velvet with Eat Defeat and retained her Championship.

bluelineLashley, MVP and Kenny King vs. Eric Young, Austin Aries and Bobby Roode

TNA is a bit all of the place currently, I’m not quite sure where things are going to go.

Bully and Dixie has been centre stage so long now, that the World Championship really doesn’t feel that relevant.

They are obviously building Roode, but with Team 3D and the Hardyz etc taking the Main Events, it doesn’t feel like the right place for the Championship, or even that Roode seems to be the right guy to take the belt.

Another reason we don’t need Alberto Del Rio.

One thing is for sure though, and that this match was awesome.

MVP is still limping around, but King, Lashley, EY, Roode and especially Austin Aries are all on top form. Put them together in a match that is fast paced, impactful and continously moving, it creates something special.

It really is hard to look at Roode as the favourite, even though Aries lost to Lashley, and then again lost his match, just in the ring, Aries is on another level to everyone, always is. How do you put that in second place.

MVP hit Aries with his Crutch behind the Ref’s back leaving Aries ripe for the Lashley spear, and the win.

bluelineThe Hardyz vs. Team 3D

What can I say. Team 3D walked out in their old school Camo, Matt and Jeff, well they’ve always looked fairly similiair to how they look now. Though if they both rocked the black jeans, Matt with his black shirt and white stripe on the sleeve his big arm bands and Jeff the same with his arm bands (also how cool are Jeff’s Arm Bands) I would be giddy if they did that.

Still don’t think the music is impactful enough, but it works alright.

I don’t know if it’s just my childhood nostalgia, but this was something. My favourite Wrestling Promotion, my all-time favourite Tag-Team the Hardy Boyz facing off against their best opponents, Team 3D easily the best Tag-Team in Wrestling history. Just something to behold, in 2014.

From the get go I was hooked, but to make it all that much better, this match was fantastic!

Which if you remembered at the start of The Jobber Blogger I had a rant about The Rock and John Cena. Well as a young Wrestling fan, obviously The Rock was one of my favourites too, who didn’t like him?

Though 2003 Hollywood Rock heel run – his best work, ever!

Aside from that, let’s move on.

Rock wasn’t all that great as a Wrestler, obviously he as an entertainer, untouchable.

But as a young Wrestling fan, you don’t really pay attention to the neuances of Wrestling technicality.

Which is why when Matt and Jeff go up against Team 3D, it was magic then, and it was magic now.

Though the difference would be all of them have stayed active in Wrestling, Bully and Devon completely re-shaping themselves psyhically and mentally, Matt and Jeff going through what they have, and Jeff easily being in the best position he’s ever been, with his best Work he’s ever done, right now.

So yeah, it’s not apples to apples here.

If there is anything that bugs me about this match, is two things.

One, I feel Matt and Jeff could have pulled out a few bigger patented Hardy moves, but then, they should also save them for another time.

Two, Devon kicked out far too easily from the Twist of Fate and Swanton.

But of course the 3D is just pure awesome as a Double Team move, so credit goes to Team 3D, and even though I’m a Hardy fan through and through, no matter what. Team 3D should have picked up the win, and they did.

What more can I say, if you grew up in the same Generation as me, then you will no doubt feel the same as a I do.

Fantastic match, utterly awesome from in the ring, just to the moment of itself, to nostalgia to everything.

Match of the Year nominee, no doubt about it.

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bluelineImpact was a packed show and it was a great show. A shame they took a dive in the ratings, because TNA do deliver a lot of great work, it just falls short.

Hardcore Justice is coming at us next week, and given that it’s still in New York, it’s going to be brutal.

Bram vs. Abyss – Stairway to Janice

Samoa Joe vs. Low Ki – X-Division Championship

Six-Sides of Steel – Number One Contendership Match for the World Heavyweight Championship

bluelineShould be awesome.

Something that is probably smart, but also not as awesome is TNA moving to Wednesday nights in America.

Thursdays have always been their thing, aside from when they had the guts to go head to head with RAW, and didn’t really make a dint. But kudos to trying.

TNA want the ratings, and WWE is thinking of shifting Smackdown back to Wednesday.

I think it really sucks that TNA at least won’t try and go head to head with WWE’s second rated programme. I understand it.

It just feels a shame, and it almost feels like a step toward the end of their Spike TV contract.

I hope the Spike bosses love the shows and Wednesday prove successful, either way, TNA needs to find a new home, because even though they make dumb errors almost constantly they still put on a great show.

And when they get it right, They Get it 100% right.

TNA fan till the end!

Till then,

Dan Wilkinson

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

www.TheJobberBlogger.wordpress.com

www.TheSteelChair.com

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)www.cageamateursuk.com

The Jobber Blogger #119 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 7/8/14

Jobber Blogger logo2

Well, the infamous One Hundred and Nineteen issue of The Jobber Blogger! It’s taken a while to get this up and running.

Seems fate is against me this week, or at least timing, but it has helped me to “adapt”. Yes, in a string of “firsts” I’m going for something I’ve decided to call “Write’N Watch”.

Yup, WNW, or wNw for those nWo fans out there (salutes), I haven’t even seen Impact yet, so it’s all loaded up ready for me to breeze through and enjoy, and I shall make notes of each segment as usual, then jump across and get typing. Time is of the most import, and also time is the issue. Also power cuts.

A string of Birthdays, break-downs and power-cuts (oh my!) later, and it seems I’m ready to roll!

See you after the first segment!

Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 7/8/14

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Bram vs. Abyss – Monsters Ball

So yes, TNA kicks off with a Monsters Ball match, which is a pretty decent way to start a show where your Boss goes through a Table.

It’s all ECW based folks, and that kinda sucks. But Monsters Ball has its place within TNA, and thankfully so does Abyss.

What is a little jarring is how much they are plugging Dixie going through a Table, which is also the Intro Video package to this show, right after Bully and Dreamer talk about it (before it happens), making a promise. Then the video package saying it does happen, then Taz and Tenay asking the question “will it?”

I’m confused in this time-travelling plug of a show.

time travelSpeaking of Whaa, I like Bram. I’ve said it multiple times, but I like his image, music and his intensity.

Intensity is exactly what this match was, Abyss brought Janice into the match, but did the old “swing and a miss” into the Turnbuckle. That’s when Bram grabbed a Chair and took a swing, but Abyss elbowed it back into Bram. I only mention this because Bram’s selling of the elbow to the chair to his face, was excellent! I enjoy to watch people fall to the floor convincingly in a fake manor.

Also this guy

shyguy

Also totally got you on The Jobber Blogger! I’ll MAKE YOU FAMOUS!

To the Seven people that might consider reading it.

Bram went back first from a choke slam onto the Thumbtacks (I don’t remember it looking that nasty before). In the end though, Magnus got involved stealing Janice from Abyss, Bram speared Abyss through the Barbed Wire board, then hit Abyss in the stomach with Janice and took the win.

Interesting that Bram has defeated Abyss again in a Monsters Ball match. Interesting indeed.

Also Bram took Janice with him after winning the match, fairly sure this is leading somewhere. If it’s anything like poor Dixie, then Bram will have to eat a good shot from Janice sooner or later.

Back to the show!

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It feels like I forgot to come back and Write the rest of this. As it turns out. I didn’t.

MVP, Kenny King and of course Bobby Lashley took to the ring. Which is neat, it really does feel these three have taken a back seat, despite Lashley being the World Champion.

So it is nice for them to step up and get a moment to talk, even if it’s a little thin.

Though it is nice to see MVP floating around, I still don’t know where to place him in the company anymore, but once he’s fully back to being healed, either legitimately or storyline, we might have a better idea to see where he goes. Hopefully against Austin Aries.

On the plus side, MVP did make me chuckle whilst describing Aries’ recent World Championship match from last week, and I quote:

a double air linesI don’t know what it is about Wrestlers and their Ass obsession. Right on queue of “who else is there for Lashley to beat” out comes Bobby Roode. Who incidentally had this to say about MVP:

“I’m not out here to talk to your Ass!”

Would be a totally different show if he was… o.O

Fairly obvious Roode would be next in line for a shot at Lashley, though I wouldn’t be surprised if it took him a few months to get a Fair match, at Bound for Glory.

But if I’m honest, right now, I want Lashley to win. I miss having long Championship reigns, and they come with someone who is legit. TNA doesn’t have anyone who fits the mould of a undefeated World Champion better than Bobby Lashley.

Kenny King went on the attack with MVP to follow, which brought our Eric Young and Austin Aries. So there you have it…

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The Bromans vs. Mr. Anderson, Gunner and Samuel Shaw

It was actually nice to see the return of this flimsy “when it fits in” storyline. Also The Bromans, I do like the Bromans.

But let’s not beat it around the bush, this match only took place to further the storyline between Anderson, Shaw and Gunner. As plainly obvious from this gem of an entrance

anderson this freakin guy

Anderson wouldn’t tag Shaw, and in the end pushed him out of the way to take the Tag for himself from Gunner, of course leading to Shaw “coming to the rescue” but Anderson got caught with a Roll-Up, and was pinned. Blaming Shaw, etc etc.

Least it’s better… and a lot worse, then where Shaw was before. I suppose his whole Creepy Bastard idea was rather neat, and the creepy moments with Christy.

Still think Gunner needs a bit of a boost.

I’m starting to think I’m just writing what you already saw, and then in that case… why!?

I would upload a Face Palm picture.. but I really don’t have the effort.

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Team EC3 vs. Team Bully Ray – 8-Man Hardcore Match

I forget what the actual title for this match was.

But hey, it was pretty damn good! I’m not one for getting all into ECW revival territory… again, but it is cool when it’s done right. Thankfully it was done right. Shame it keeps getting brought up rather than moved on from, but they all have their connections to TNA anyway, so it does fit.

No idea if Snitsky and Ryclon are going to be hanging around now, same goes for Rhino and Dreamer. Be nice to see Rhino stick around, maybe even Dreamer. Who knows. It was short lived the first time Dreamer got involved and somewhat uneventful, but I’m glad he’s kept in touch and works behind the scenes.

Also Al Snow made an appearance, which usually isn’t that spectacular, but having the audience with their “heads” going crazy, is pretty damn cool, so I’ll give him that. His spring-board moonsault to the floor however, didn’t seem quite as impressive, but that is mainly due to the fact it looked like if he was actually caught, he would have plummeted on top of his head.

Crazy fast paced Hardcore match, and it was awesome. Also how cool is the 3D. When it’s done right and comes out of nowhere, it’s a super cool Tag-Team move. Glad Devon is back, nice to see Team 3D at work again, and a good choice for the Hall of Fame.

Also I think half way through the match Rhino suddenly remembered he left the iron on back at home…

rhino face

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The Beautiful People tried their best to get Angelina Love her fair and due – rematch. But in turn Hot Mess herself, who for some reason struts around like a Drunk, decided to whine about how Angelina broke up the match between herself and Gail Kim recently.

This is the thing! A face, would always get a fair rematch, Angelina is due one, I know it’s storyline, but it bugs me, it doesn’t make sense. I hate having either “total Heel” control or “total face” control.

total face control

Least I can blame Kurt and feel somewhat better.

So yeah, next week, Gail Kim defends the Knockouts Championship against Angelina, Taryn and Velvet. Fairly sure Velvet and Angelina will throw a curve ball about “breaking up” and also Brittany should get involved… and then Madison. Then ODB, then whoever else.

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Sanada vs. Samoa Joe vs. Low Ki – X-Division Championship

Storm kicked off the match, first with a backstage promo to Sanada, then to introduce Sanada. It’s just a weird fit. I can’t take it seriously, and don’t buy for a second a guy like James Storm would want to be a “master” having people bow to him. It’s just weird.

Tough love is put on Sanada regardless.

On the other side is Low Ki and Samoa Joe who had a little face off earlier on in the night. Low Ki did some rather Mortal Kombat inspired voice for his promo, which seemed very out of a place against a guy like Joe. Joe can cut a promo, because he does it from his heart, he’s himself, and he’s good at it.

I didn’t make many notes for the match itself, though very good. All three of these guys are the kind of talent you want to stay in TNA. Low Ki is just different to anyone else, which I suppose they all are, but Low Ki is a special bread, so I wanted him to get the Championship with the hope he will stick around this time. No idea if he will or not.

Sanada rolled up Joe into a bridge pin which was counted into Joe’s submission hold for the Tap-Out Victory.

Suppose it makes sense for Joe to come back into the division, he’s a fan favourite, and what better way to re-define the Division than to put Joe back as the figure head. Still want Tigre Uno to have a run. Or at least a match with Aries, make it happen!

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And last but not least, Dixie for no reason at all goes to the ring with her hired hoodlums, insults them, fires Snitsky and Ryclon (good run). Then Bully, Devon and Dreamer take centre stage. I think I threw up a little when Dreamer said “extreme pipe bomb”. Thankfully King Mo punched him in the face so we didn’t have to.

I think it would have been a little better if it “happened” organically. Rather than booking a segment to do it. So it’s pretty much going to happen.

Either way, we can be picky all night, Bully pretty much put himself through the table and just pulled Dixie back closer to him. But what matters, is that it was a moment, and it was cool.

The entire TNA Locker-room stopped Dixie from leaving, and so Devon escorted her to Bully to powerbomb her through a Table.

The fans went nuts, TNA chants rattling my speakers and it was a moment that makes you proud to be a TNA Fan.

I love the crazy TNA Chants! That’s what bugs me the most about the ECW chants creeping in, we have something cool, that is ours, that is real, and that’s TNA. Support that and chant that, and it’s magical.

I think this is supposed to be the end of Dixie Carter on Television, which would be nice, least for quite a while. She’s had a good Heel run, and it’s the most fitting way to send her out.

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I hope things are going to keep moving with this, and actually push a new direction for TNA.

Still no news I don’t believe on their TV Deal with Spike, they’re at least on air till the end of September with No Surrender.

Till then!

Dan

www.facebook.com/TotalNonstopRewind

www.TheJobberBlogger.wordpress.com

www.TheSteelChair.com

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

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The Jobber Blogger #113 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 26/6/14

Jobber Blogger logo2What a weird week!

So yes, this is going up late again, I know. However, what you might not know is that this is probably the first time where I’ve ever watched Impact so late. Least since Challenge TV first started airing Impact on Tuesday nights. It’s been all go, and lots to do and to think of what is different in just one week…. is crazy.

Well, I have a new job, and whilst on the topic I would like to give a big thank you out there to the people that actually made it possible. This includes Dan and Jon from CageAmateursUK (now StrikeTapandGrapple) they were the first people to pick up my blog. Of course David from TheWrestlingPress, but in a lot of ways it’s The Steel Chair’s own Adam Carr that helped me.

To I think I started this blog purely to just write about Wrestling, give myself something to Write about each week and see what happened. But in turn, it led me to understand a lot about WordPress, SEO, and all kinds of website knowledge that actually helped me get my new job. So a big thank you to those and of course to The Jobber Blogger!

So yes, this might in fact move my plans a little later than… planned, but it’s all about settling in and finding the routines. This weekend has been packed, new induction thrown in, work all weekend then straight into a new job. It’s been go, go, go. But now I can actually plan my time a little better, so hopefully, The Jobber Blogger will keep to his newly out of time watch plan schedule of clock ticking chimes time.

So TNA Impact happened this week. I feel it’s almost bad on purpose to let everyone get excited for the New York shows. If that’s so, then they succeeded. Here’s why!

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Impact Wrestling Logo

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 26/6/14

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Angelina Love and Velvet Sky vs. Gail Kim and Taryn Terrell

Yes, Impact kicked off with a match, and I love the Knockouts! Well, okay technically there was a bit about MVP, Lashley and King arriving, but it’s not even worth mentioning…. aside from that there mention… which is there, before this part…. etc.

I love how Velvet Sky manages to make Angelina look so much better every week. Is that weird? Angelina having White leg warmers made her look better than the black ones Velvet wore. That’s Wrestling journalism 1-o-1.

So here’s the main thing I took away from this match.

Taryn whoAnd no, part of me is tempted to run my “Hot Mess” banners again from last year, with my never ending struggle to understand just what the hell that nickname meant. No, what I mean this time, is that Taryn is being billed as “someone”. And really, she left just before she got going. She was the referee, but I barely remember what she looked like, aside from what she wore and her hair colour. I remember Gail then treated her bad and Brooke Hogan added her to the roster. Then Taryn and Gail had what, two matches, then she left.

So for her to “come back” as this… Star, seems a little weird to me. Though Taryn was very good. Which then brings about my gripe, she seems much….. less good, now.

Of course part of me is just looking for how she managed to have a child and still look that slim, same with Madison. And then I am obviously more consciously looking for errors and “rust”. Clearly she will have been Wrestling and Training long before her recent return, but she does look a little “out of shape”. Not in a disrespectful way, but she seemed to struggle keeping up her stamina whilst running, and her top-rope cross-body block, whilst good, nearly missed.

Or here is the other side of that story, she’s teaming with Gail Kim. Now Gail Kim is perfect at Wrestling. Like literally perfect. Wrestling never looks more fake then when you watch the Women wrestle, least.. most of them. They seem to stumble a bit more, they’re a tad slower, maybe even more cautious. This isn’t a complaint, just an observation.

However Gail Kim is the opposite of that, she Wrestles, and does it extremely well, she’s very fluid, very fast, always on point. Which means when she’s working “with” someone, she can usually cover most of the other parts easily. However when there is her, and someone not as good, it shows.

All in all, I am glad Taryn is back, and I’m sure she’ll be up to speed in no time! In the end though Gail picked up the win on Angelina with Eat Defeat. Also just because you all asked so nicely, apparently…

Hot Mess 1

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MVP and Kenny King made their way to the ring accompanied by random Girls, as that is clearly the sign of success and celebrations. You know, sex with strangers, and hence forth… disease.

This was big old Bobby Lashley “THE DESTROYER!”‘s celebration of being the new World Champion. Something else I found interesting, Lashley is just being called… Lashley. Seems they are giving him the Brook treatment.

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MVP prattled on about conquering the world because he has the World Championship in his stable. This still makes no sense.

EY came out fighting and got beaten down, leading to Bobby Roode once again jumping the guard rail to save him. And EY wasn’t annoyed that Roode didn’t do it earlier “last week” and help him, oh I don’t know… win?

Roode then had to the usual “Since day one!” speech that means your credible. Also he had to praise Eric Young’s work and fighting spirit, which is also another check box to be a good guy. And then last but not least, my new favourite hated phrasing “Time to get TNA back!” with the added bonus of “For each and every one of the fans!”

Oh how I hate that. Thankfully TNA swerved this same old crap nicely, so I’m pleased.

This blessing came in the form of a badly executed package of crap named Earl Sullivan Armstrong, who appeared like a cross between Clint Eastwood and Sam Neill, Sam Eastwood you could say… or Clint Neill.

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Also sounds like a nail-product when spoken quickly with a bad accent.

This though is better than the Kevin Nash lookalike who turned up last time. Or that other chap who looked like someone else I don’t remember. Anywho, so this “Board of Directors” dude came out and fired MVP from the role of Director of Wrestling Operations, which is much better then just dragging this out to be a match for Bound for Glory. It seems maybe TNA wants to please fans, and going back to the six-sided ring, planning a really big show in the New York tapings and clearly finding Slammiversary was such a success when it had little to do with all of this crap.

Then Roode punched MVP.

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DJ Z vs. Manik vs. Crazy Steve vs. Sanada – X-Division Championship

The second best match on the card.

Again, they probably didn’t need the silly intro backstage to set up this match. The X-Division usually works best when they just… Wrestle.

There isn’t really much to say to be honest, other than Crazy Steve was awesome, Manik is impressive (unless he takes his mask off or talks) and Sanada won… obviously.

TNA really annoy me when they make things so obviously… obvious, then push it down your throat just in case you didn’t notice. How many times do I need to be told about The Great Muta and his connection to Sanada now, guess what, after 4 Months of heading it every time he’s on the Show… I don’t need to hear it anymore.

So when Sanada wins, Mike Tenay adds “The Great Muta must be pleased”.

Really? Must he be pleased. So basically he’s not going to be pleased, he’s’ going to be pissed. They are going to fight, something is going down. It’s obvious, you telling me directly it’s not, makes it more obvious. Don’t say anything… then it’s better. I can see it now, “The Mentor, The Apprentice, They Were Once Like Brothers!” SHUT UP! It’s Crap! CRAP CRAP CRAP!

CRAP DAMN IT!

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In what was yet another annoying segment, Dixie Carter and Spud made their way to the ring to celebrate Dixie gaining back control over Wrestling Operations. The very fact it was laid on so thick about Dixie believing to get it back, well you know what I’m going to say anyway.

And in fact, this guy in the crowd also wanted to say what he pleased, and TNA seemingly were happy to air it…

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He could have meant, “no-one cares you suck” in which case people are happy to see Dixie. But I’m sure he meant, just that no-one cares what she was saying, and that she sucks. It was a weird mix of “informative fan” meets “idiot fan”. No-One Cares Dixie…. also you suck, the whole you suck part therefore means he like most are in fact… stupid.

Guess what, I don’t care what he says, in fact I’m sure No-One Cares about this guy’s opinion.

As always Dixie managed to draw a huge negative reaction, and I must admit, I chuckled when TNA showed a shot of an old woman in the crowd covering her ears. It looked like she was hating the loud response from the fans and how horrible Dixie indeed is. But then, I’m fairly sure she didn’t even want to be there and got dragged by some relative and hated the experience. Still…. chuckled.

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Ronson Johnson Blackhead – the board of Directors guy then came back out to tell Dixie she wasn’t the new Director of Wrestling Operations. They’re going to need some snazzier, punchier titles, this is getting hard to type!

Of course, Spud stole the show with a Spit-Take which would only have been better if he had indeed took yet another sip of Wine, and then spat that part out too.

Blah blah blah, Dixie whined, Bully Ray came out (to an awesome reaction I might add) and Bully got his hands on Dixie, with her being pretty close to going through a table. Woop.

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James Storm vs. Mr. Anderson

This was a little bit weird, fairly sure their feud wasn’t that engaging the first time. So now they’re dragging it out a little longer… because why not. I do think that Gunner and Sam Shaw could fit into this somehow, so there you have it. Perhaps they could be the bond between Storm and Anderson.

Regardless of anything, anyway, Storm is awesome. The best Heel on the roster by far, the very fact he’s not in the main event scene right now pains me. If only I could write TNA! I REALLY WANT TO!

Anderson hit his rolling slam thing…. mini green bay plunge, only he “injured” himself. Which I’m sure was a work, but it looked pretty damn authentic, so kudos!

Anderson tried to drop Storm with a mic-check but Storm held the ropes sending Anderson down by himself, he got back up groggy to yet another awesome Last Call Superkick.

What was more out of character perhaps, and also interesting, was James Storm seeking out Sanada backstage, giving up a bit of abuse and then adding on the pressure of Sanda’s X-Division Reign, and if he will cash it in for a shot at the World Championship, and not to “chock” trying to win the big one. So perhaps something could be interesting coming out of this.

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EC3 and Tommy Dreamer had a fight!

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Magnus and Bram vs. Abyss and Willow – Monsters Ball

I have to admit, I like the team of Willow and Abyss, I liked their promo, I like them together. Fits. Magnus still looks like a gay man.

gaymagnusAnd with a name like “Magnus”… that’s not good at all.

Yet again, Bram impressed me. I love how he moves around, I love his crazy stare, and really intense attitude. He’d fit well with Gunner and Storm. Not so much Magnus.

The Monsters Ball never disappoints, and this was the second in recent memory, and again, didn’t disappoint. Obviously the highlights were Willow climbing to the top rope only to have Magnus throw a chair at him and he fall off the top through the Barbed Wire Board, scary flash backs to Daffney, that Guard Rail looked too close for comfort.

Abyss then choke-slammed Magnus onto some Thumbtacks, which is weird, you don’t normally see Magnus in that kind of environment. In the end though it was Bram who did this awesome creepy stalking thing on Abyss then hit him in the stomach with Janice for the win.

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boundforgloytokyo

So this took me a little by surprise, this year’s Bound For Glory is going to be in Tokyo Japan. This has me really, really excited. I honestly can’t wait to see it, I know this might sound like sarcasm, but I’m being serious,… seriously.

I’ve obviously seen Wrestling in Japan before (on TV of course) but not a full show like this, an American PPV, in Japan. That excites me, I’m sure we’ll see Sanada and The Great Muta and probably a lot of other Japanese stars too, so yeah, very unexpected, and totally pumped!

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And of course the show then ended with the reveal of the “new Director of Wrestling Operations”. Which was also blatantly obvious. Though I’m slightly more interested then I was actually seeing Kurt in action, than when I just assumed it would be Kurt.

Also the no-one cares fan now suddenly cares.

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MVP, Lashley and King made their way to the ring to confront Kurt, who didn’t back down, and even went a little… weird.

And then made a World Title Re-Match next week with Lashley vs. EY and then reinstated Bobby Roode.

Roode and EY then started fighting Lashley and King, and that was it.

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This was Bobby Lashley’s first week as the TNA World Champ, and to be fair, I almost forgot he was the new Champion. It was very understated.

Either way, TNA have done a nice job of correcting the main dragging issues with their show and finally putting an interesting angle on it. Literally. Kurt Angle.

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Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

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