Tag Archives: Nia Jax

Monday Night Raw #1293, March 5, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I hope you die-hard wrestling fans hate me, that’s ok, because I hate you right back!

This is what I don’t understand, you see 30 second squash matches on RAW every other week, hell – Sheamus defeated Danny Bryan in 18 seconds at WrestleMania 28 for crying out loud. And yet, you muthaf***az are complaining on the internet over something that happened at a HOUSE SHOW, which you never witnessed live (unless you were in the building of course) you never PAID FOR IT, and above all else, you UK FANS were SNOWED IN! You weren’t moving anywhere! With that said…


Oh wait, I do understand… it was in Chicago, the place where they worship some guy who doesn’t give a f**k about them…



REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like…(and it hurts me to say this) THE ROCK. He won an award for worst movie (Baywatch)… shame. Shame. SHAME! RING THE BELL!

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RAW 1293! What’s this I hear about a 50-man Royal Rumble????? Saudi Arabia be making major moves star!

Greatest Royal Rumble

I got cookies, a cup of soup, and a Jamaica Ginger Cake with custard for later! LET’S DO THIS SH!T KURK!


Wait a minute – Kurt stripping off clothes and Stephanie comes out here? We know you want Kurt to f**k you one more time!


Listen to Stephanie wukkin brain! Know Your Role Kurt! Make matches Kurt! Use your head Kurt!

Ronda Rousey is all smiles! She must have had sex earlier!


Hold on – Ronda said her debut match at WrestleMania -she can choose anyone she wanted! Er… Stephanie??

Wait a minute – I thought Triple wasn’t here yet!

Oh no! Turns out Stephanie has a second contract as a WWE Superstar! Same with Triple H! Kurt is doing his job – he’s making the matches!!!

There it is! Triple & Stephanie Vs Kurt & Ronda Rousey at the big BIG WrestleMania! (yes we already knew that because we read the dirt sheets) But the way they dropped it – I was marking the f**k out! Kurt got Triple in the ankle lock, Stephanie tried to teef but Rousey caught her with the Samoan Drop! HOLY SMOKES!

F**k that – I’m ready for the Big BIG WrestleMania! JUST LIKE THAT!

Now Asuka is here! GOD DAYUUUUUM SHE FINE!

Mike Cole promoting Ninja Warrior? PAY MAKOTO NAGANO HIS MONEY!

Makoo Nagano

Oh lawd Nia Jax is killing Asuka! SHE WANTS TO KILL!!!! But Asuka got the Triangle chokehold! She won’t let go! It’s locked in for the longest! Nia tried to fight out but Asuka transitioned into an arm bar!!!! SHE’S GONNA BREAK THE ARM! Nia had to tap out! If I was Asuka – I would run for the hills! Alexa Bliss looks like urine gonna leave her vagina and go down her leg!


You gotta be kidding me! The almighty Nia Jax CRYING? What is this?!!!! Where are you Shadfather – console this woman!

Shout out to the cute girl who works at Iceland ‘Natalie’ I think her name is – can’t remember – I did my shopping today, I saw the 3 for £2 offer on the cookies, now normally the cashier is like ‘Do you have an Iceland Card?’ Or ‘would you like a bag?’ Not this chick… I know it’s all about service with a smile but she’s like ‘enjoy your cookies!’ Aaah bless her… if I was single…


I honestly thought The Revival would be next in line for the titles and go to big BIG WrestleMania… wow.. you NXT guys are allowed to complain on the internet…

I know John Cena is a free agent… but I think he’s taking the p!$$ coming on RAW to explain his WrestleMania plans… you’re fighting on Smackdown homie!

Yes crowd – boo this man! He doesn’t need to be on RAW!!!!

Ok he suggests I listen…

Uh-oh – he’s out to break Ric Flair’s title reigns… I don’t think Ric Flair cares… you saw him in that 21 Savage video!

John Cena wants that Triple Threat match! He wants to Shatter the dreams of die-hard wrestling fans who want AJ Styles Vs Strong Style!

Talking of Shattered Dreams… I don’t understand why Goldust  is out here! Very random…

John Cena looks as confused as us! So confused that he went down after Goldust boxed him!

Careful John – Goldust might have Victoria Secret underneath that outfit!


Why did Goldust even bother… he was so much more entertaining when he had the hots for Rowdy Roddy Piper…

Elias speaks the truth! Music brings us together, not tear us apart!

Elias vs Braun in a Symphony of Destruction match! Well as long as RZA’s 36 Chambers studios are not involved… that goes for 9th Wonder’s Jamla studios…

Congratulations to Hillbilly Jim hitting the Hall of fame… he doesn’t mean a damn thing to me but there you go…

Corey Graves just called Mandy Rose – God’s Greatest Creation… There is no doubt – Mandy Rose is hot…but I believe God created something even greater…

tiffany haddish

Meet Tiffany Haddish guys… star of the film ‘Girl Trip’ – she is sexy as f**k and she is funny as hell. LOOK AT THAT… OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

What’s wrong with you Bayley? Sasha saved your clart! You refuse her hug? Oh well come hug me Sasha god dayuuuuum!!!

Big BIG WrestleMania 34

Elias can play every instrument! If hat is so, why hasn’t Ghostface Killah approached Elias for beats?!!!

Elias tried to get away in the car! But the car wouldn’t move!!!


Guys I just got an important message on Facebook… it’s the President of The Wu Worldwide DJ Coalition. I gotta take this call…

Holy smokes! Elias is probably DEAD BY NOW! Braun lick him down with the cello, then he dropped the piano on him! OH SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


If you are a gamer, you haven’t lived until you have played Fatal Fury 2… I mean, the last boss fights you in front of a live orchestra… that’s f**ked up!

Now Bray Wyatt just beat Rhyno in roughly 30 seconds… go on – COMPLAIN ON THE INTERNET NOW!!!!

Bray Wyatt just mentioned ‘Final Deletion’!

The Hardy Compound??? WHOA! ULTIMATE DELETION!!! I knew it had to go that route! YES!!!

“GET OUT? Get Out is what Kurt Angle should do with Monday Night Raw…” Miz is outta order for that!

He says Kurt is sucking up to Ronda Rousey… I don’t know about you but I would ‘suck’ up to Ronda Rousey…


I like that idea! The Miztourage Vs Seth Rollins & Finn Balor? LET’S GO! I wanna see the Miz get BUSS ARSE AGAIN after talking sh!t!

THERE IT IS! TRIPLE THREAT MATCH! Miz Vs Seth Rollins Vs Finn Balor at the big BIG WrestleMania… see I’m supposed to get excited but again – you guys read the dirt sheets and spoiled everything!

Paul Heyman is here with the WWE Universal Championship in his hands!

Wait a minute – he says Brock Lesnar will soon hold BOTH the Universal Title AND the UFC Heavyweight Title? He can’t do that surely?!

Paul Heyman just called the Universal Title ‘Brock’s B!tch?’ Does that mean Brock is cheating on Sable???

Heyman says Double R cannot shoot from the hip against him or Brock! He’s likely to be right!! But Double R is here anyway!

Told Heyman straight – that next week in Detroit, just like D12… it’s FIGHT MUSIC!!!

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Monday Night Raw #1292, February 26, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

‘Michael Grant is NOT a CM Punk fan, nor is he an Alexa Bliss fan, and he likes Roman Reigns.. so therefore Michael Grant, this so-called Infamous Informer, Grant P Body Rock or whatever he calls himself, doesn’t know SH!T about wrestling like we do. Why should we listen to him? Why should we read his blogs? Yeah he posts pictures of women and I just hit like. Apart from that, I don’t give a f**k about his blogs…he thinks he’s some big shot because he’s thinks he working with Wu-Tang Clan.. and got his radio shows that no one listens to… you know what – f**k Michael, f**k his blogs, and f**k Naomi… she’s not even all that…just because she got a big @$$… now Alexa Bliss… that’s what you call an @$$…’


…and yet somehow I predicted everything about the Elimination Chamber correctly… including Ronda Rousey’s WrestleMania opponent – you fools said it would be Charlotte…



REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like…STC’s Chris Burns. See I saw a post about Bobby Lashley’s possible return, and all I saw were his negative comments towards Roman Reigns…. er… TOO MUCH HATRED!

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RAW 1292! It’s WrestleMania season! I got no time for grumpy muthaf***az!

As much as I can’t stand her, I can’t even say Alexa is talking sh!t – she is speaking the truth! She DID smash it at the Chamber!

Nia Jax is on Asuka like – ‘I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!!’

Mickie James must have quietly turned heel or something… there you are IWC – another notch under your belt – you like people to turn heel don’t you?


HOLY SMOKES! In the 6 person tag contest, Sasha was going for the tag, but Bayley left the apron!!! UH-OH!!!!


It’s obviously a personal thing because Bayley is still active in this contest…and helps Asuka win the match… it’s just a qualm against Sasha… oh dear Sasha you shouldn’t have kicked her down like that at the Chamber!

John Cena says he has figured it out!!!! he must have been doing some serious sleeping… or serious sleeping with Nikki to figure it out!


Wait a second – John!!! You wanna challenge who??? Think about this – you’re getting married aren’t you??? Don’t summon the dead – he’s gonna put you in a box!

SWITCH!!!! “That match is NOT HAPPENING!” Oh my god he came to his senses quick!

“That match is impossible…” I thought you were about making the impossible – POSSIBLE John? I mean, Nikki thought it was IMPOSSIBLE that she would get married to you!

He’s gonna go to Smackdowns!! It is the land of opportunity! Y’all know I’m 50/50 on this, but I’m just throwing it out there – John Cena Vs Undertaker was a Smackdown thing back in the day!

Why do the commentators act like what Bray’s doing (that upside down spider sh!t) they haven’t seen it before?

Remind me to research this ‘FINAL DELETION’ thing which made Broken Matt Hardy so famous!

Oh no! The Miz is going for longest running (accumulative days) Intercontinental Champion of all time! Somebody stop him!!!

“Those booing you will be watching it (Miz & Mizzus) anyway so I don’t care…” While The Miz may have a point about the haters I know one person who WILL NOT be watching it – ME!!!

Miz has no merchandise! I wonder why??! Because NO ONE WANTS TO BUY THAT SH!T!

“I should be going to the main event of WrestleMania…” Er Miz… in order to do that, you have to either:

A – win the Royal Rumble

B – win the Elimination Chamber

C – already be the World Wrestling Federation Champion

You are NONE OF THOSE THINGS! So with that said  –


Don’t take off your dark glasses giving me that mean grill – YOU’RE A PU$$Y!

Oh dear! He’s really upset isn’t he! Somebody give this muthaf***a a kleenex!


HOLY SMOKES! The Miz was three-quarters away and Seth Rollins hit the frog splash off the top ropes!!! 1, 2 and…3!!!

Let me get this right so I can understand this – last week, Seth Rollins went over an hour and smashed it, but The Miz doesn’t wanna fight two guys one after the other in Rollins and Balor? If there was ever a B!TCH OF THE WEEK – it’s THE MIZ!


KURT ANGLE SHUT EVERYTHING DOWN! The Miz cannot get out of it!!! He still gotta fight Finn Balor!

Finn Balor beat The Miz too! Yo Kurt – Triple Threat this muthaf***a!

The question remains – what becomes of Braun Strowman??? Let’s go find out!

Elias may have to think about a face turn later this year… could be sooner rather than later because the crowd are actually WALKING WITH ELIAS!

“Every word uttered from Corey Graves stupid face is noise pollution!” Elias can’t say that??!!! Corey Graves is GREAT! he can’t do a thing wrong, not after that stunt he and Booker-T pulled!

The crowd roar ‘BRAAAAAAUUUUUUUUNNN!!’ as well!! HOLY SMOKES! Y’all talk about WWE not making stars…. do you know how stupid you sound right now?

See this is what you wanted right? (I’m talking to STC’s Henry Lofts… who hated the idea of the gauntlet match in the group last week…) Elias Vs Braun!

Elias TEEEEEF! You got the fire extinguisher and use it against Braun because you can’t manage him! Gonna be interesting where this goes…

Elias tek foot and run! But he actually got away like Naomi got away from me!


Meanwhile the limo pulls up…uh oh!!! You think it’s Vincent Kennedy?

2/3 FALLS jump off for The Bar Vs Titus Worldwide! I LIKE THIS! Shame WWE edited it down to just under 4 minutes on YouTube…

…and maybe I know why! Not even 10 seconds in and Titus loses the first fall… for goodness sakes!

Apollo Cre – Oh I’m not supposed to address him by that now am I? Er anyway he put up a better fight but The Bar got em… KMT!

The Bar are on it like – we have beaten everybody! Who are we gonna fight at WrestleMania? May I have a suggestion? The Revival? The Balor Club????

Big BIG WrestleMania 34

So this is Vincent Kennedy’s newest plan to get Double R over with you guys… by having Double R come out and talk the truth about Brock Lesnar hiding behind his contract… it seems to be working!

WHOA! Double R is going IN!!!! (Oh yeah I forgot – he hasn’t got good mic skills has he?)


Holy smokes Double R is saying what the internet has been saying! I LIKE THIS! because it means the internet can’t say sh!t!

“I don’t respect Brock Lesnar, and I sure as hell don’t fear that b!tch!”

You made that obvious last time Roman! WrestleMania 31, you were laughing at his suplexes!!!

Ooooh Stephanie loves that doesn’t she? ‘WWE OWNS Ronda Rousey’! WWE loves that 1555 mentality (if you know what I’m talking about!)


“You need to work within the system…” Such familiar words… last time I heard those words, a certain chairman was looking at the lights shaking like he had a fit after getting a STONE COLD STUNNER!

WHOA! I thought Kurt was all about his three I’s!!! I can;t believe he lied!!! Oh man… I;m so upset… damn!!!

Uh-oh! NO ONE SLAPS RONDA ROUSEY AND LIVES!!! (unless your name is Holly Holm that is but er anyway – ) Stephanie must apologise to Ronda! WHOA! No way is Steph gonna do that surely!

WHAT?! WHOA! I guess there is a first time for everything! maybe The Undertaker WILL wrestle again! Maybe CM Punk WILL come back! Stephanie just apologised! Do you think she will KOW-TOW too?



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