Tag Archives: Niomi

Monday Night Raw #1190, March 14, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I really like this part of the year… you know why? Not just because big BIG WrestleMania is coming, but our friends over in the states have turned their clocks forward. That means from now until WrestleMania we can watch RAW an hour earlier. That means all being well, less yawning, more marking out, and if things get a bit stale, there’s always babestation!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW #1190! Have you jabronies finished complaining about Deano Ambrose foot not underneath the rope? You really don’t want Triple Vs Reigns don’t you? ARE YOU THAT RETARDED?

WWF PROPA TINGZWord!!! We just gonna kick off with the World Wrestling Federation tag team titles? The New Day have destroyed the League of Nations on the twitter and the YouTube!

Shout out to Mike Knoxxx of the BDSIR NETWORK…as much as I love the New Day, there are certain aspects of them I DON’T LIKE. The unicorn stupidness on their head, twerking in guys faces, the rainbow on their T-shirts, and the cereal – Booty-Os… don’t get me wrong, it’s fortified with vitamins and iron, good for the kids, but to have kids say – ‘we are eating booty-os doesn’t sit well with me either… very cumse-cumsa tendencies… That’s not right!

Interesting… Xavier Woods is representing for the New Day in this tag team championship contest… I’m a bit nervous here… League of Nations could take it here… because Kofi doesn’t play the trombone! Oh No…

It’s all good! Xavier pinned Rusev and held the tights! New Day still champions but League of Nations bex! They mash-up The New Day! hey guys! The New Day just turned face… and we didn’t notice!

DAMN YOU LEAGUE OF NATIONS!!! But I gotta keep it real…by the LONS beating down the New Day like that, they gotta get that heat back, be relevant again as that destructive heel force. Looks like New Day need a 4th dude to join them! But they dun treated Mark Henry bad… Yo look no further than the Man In the Purple Suit himself! The Infamous Informer wouldn’t mind putting his timberland boots in Wade Barrett’s nose! One condition: I don’t do that booty shaking unicorn sh!t! I’m NOT THAT GUY, I DON’T DO DRUGS!

Unlucky Ambrose… after all you were dealing with TRIPLE TEEEEEEF! He paid the referee off… that’s my story, but I don’t complain about that sh!t… I keep it moving… but aaaaaaah sh!t!!!! That guitar riff! BRRROCCCK LESSSNARRR!!!  Grab the steel chair Deano!

Looks like Deano come prepared! He had a crow bar in his inside pocket! HERE WE GO!!!

Or maybe not… Brock is thinking about it! he doesn’t wanna get cunk in his head top!

Two shell shocks to Sin Cara – BLAOW!!! You don’t think Ryback is eyeballing the US Title???

Well I be damned! Ryback is on some David & Goliath sh!t for the big BIG WrestleMania!

Now what I wanna know is, why does Stephanie McMahon wanna address me? Does she have a steak cooked well done for me? Am I in for what could happen next?

HAPPY STEAK & BJ DAY GUYS! GRANT BODY-P!

Until I see official celebration cards in Clintons, that is NOT an official holiday! That was made up by some fat IWC muthaf***a who can’t get no pu$$y and it was rubbed in his face a month earlier!

Oh no! It is the Attitude era again! Stephanie is in a glorious mood, and Triple is gonna start his promo… I am the game-errrr… I beat Dean Ambrose within an inch of his life-errr, and Stephanie’s gonna cook me a fat steak and give me hed-errr!

Oh man.. Triple is hitting it on the head here with this ‘hope’ sh!t! It’s true – you jabronies had hope that Deano was gonna win… you deluded fools!

HOLY SH!T Triple is going in!!!! GET EM TRIPLE TEEF! I love when he throws shots at you fools! The man is talking about people’s wife and kids! Talking about how they live on hope! I LOVE THIS!

WHOA! TRIPLE TEEF GUARANTEED THAT ROMAN REIGNS WILL FAIL AT WRESTLEMANIA! But why did Dolph Ziggler’s music hit??? Oh well, join John Morrison in your future endeavour fool!

GRANT BODY-P!

“You love Dolph Ziggler right?” Nah not really Triple, I can’t stand the f**ka!

Ok Triple – this Ziggler is getting outta orda & bright… I’m not sure where Stephanie is going with this proposal…

WHOA!!!! Stephanie gonna put Ziggler up against Triple Teef himself! Once again… y’all got hope… ABANDON HOPE! Triple – USE DI HAMMER! I’ve never rooted for Triple so much!

Look how little Renee Young is to the League Of Nations! They just challenged the New Day on some gang warfare business! Yo NEW DAY – HOLLA AT ME! I know Mishima Kung Fu! I have my woman on my side! LET’S DO THIS! Tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

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YES! TEAM BADDER THAN BAD mash-up Brie Bella! But according to Lana, it’s Brie that has beef with her… but enough of that sh!t… when I saw Naomi in that ring… I had to play that Raheem DeVaughn tune again.. or that Torae tune -Override when he says this –

When I’m alone in my room, sometimes I stare at the wall
And think of you pinned against it, we getting it on
While I’m getting you off, I’m on top
You telling me to do everything except stop
We drop and roll, it’s a fire we cannot control
I’m in deep past your cervix and served ‘til I got your soul
Lock and load and then BANG!

Let me guess, Team Bad and Lana Vs Brie, Alicia & Paige at Big BIG WrestleMania? I can ryde to that! Let’s throw a pic of Lana… for NO REASON!

Lana for no reason

YOOOO! Mick Foley passing the torch… or should I say… the 2×4 with barbed wire to Dean Ambrose??? To aid him in his battle against BROCK LESNAR???? Ok if you are not ready for this big BIG WRESTLEMANIA – YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM! SLAP YOURSELF, UNFRIEND ME, UNFOLLOW ME, because clearly, me and you are not on the same wave length! I happen to be more attractive to the women than you as well! My d!ck is bigger than yourrrrrrs!

GRANT BODY -P!

AAAAH SH!T! Here we go! Dolph Ziggler Vs Triple TEEF! If Ziggler wins… he can choose a match of his choice for big big WrestleMania! I should root for Ziggler… but I want Triple to use the hammer!!!!

Big BIG WrestleMania 32 LOGO

Yes Triple! Brukk up Ziggler’s shoulder! Then… UUUUUUUSE DI HAMMER!

Ziggler is fighting valiantly! Stephanie is at ringside! If in doubt Steph, you know what to do!

I told you muthaf***az! ABANDON HOPE! Triple H with the pedigree – BLAOW! Ziggler does not surv- wait a minute! Roman Reigns coming down the stairs – No – he chose the ramp! and Reigns is BEX!!!! He busted Triple Teef open! He’s box him up all over the ring! He was gonna use the TV screen and buss up Triple! But even The Uso brudda and Mark Henry had  to restrain him and told him to let Triple live til WrestleMania! This has to be No disqualification! A normal wrestling contest is no good!

Big ups to Jacqueline! Now in the Hall Of Fame! My moms will be pleased! She used to love Jacqueline! And I love her too!

Jacqueline-HOF-645x370

Ok lets see where they go with this Jericho & AJ Styles situation… Jericho done bunn up the Y2AJ T-shirt… you better put a stipulation on this muthaf***a!

Oh dear… Jericho is bex that everybody chanting for AJ styles… why can’t Jericho be bex when everyone was chanting for CM Princess Peach B!tch last week?

AJ drops the phenomenal forearm on Jericho – BLAOW! Looks like WWE want to push that as the supermove as opposed to the Styles Clash… not saying it’s banned… but I think WWE want Styles to limit the Styles Clash for special occasions,at least in my estimation.

OH NO! Here we go! Vincent Kennedy believes The Undertaker is his instrument of destruction! Here he comes! OH SH!T! Er… Vince… LEAVE THE RING!

What? Vincent Kennedy just told the Undertaker not to put his hands on him again???!!! Clearly Vince’s 70-year-old @$$ forgot what happened to him in 1998… or 2003 for that matter!

Let’s see what Shane gotta say!

Maybe he said too much! “I might be Vince’s son, but you (Undertaker) are Vince’s b!tch!”

The Undertaker! grabs Shane by the neck! But Shane is quick on his feet! Rights and lefts by Shane! Undertaker feels nothing! Throws Shane back in the corner! Shane still too quick! Vincent Kennedy pushes Shane into Undertaker! CHOKESLAM – BLAOW! Vince likes what he sees! Undertaker snaps his head to Vince! Vince leaves the ring! WISE MOVE! Undertaker, cuts his throat to Vince! OH LAWWWWD!

I don’t care if this match makes sense or not – Shane – kid you gon lose! Y’all muthaf***az wishing for a new era… you gonna get the same sh!t for the next 10 years regardless of the winner!

ABANDON HOPE!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Many Thanks to the Infamous Informer for the use of his excellent scribing

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Monday Night Raw #1155, July 13, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Smack Talk Centre Raw Wrestling Blog logo

I just wanna take this time to take a moment of silence… to that poor Cadillac, it was just an innocent bystander, it didn’t deserve that fate. It wasn’t even christened and packed up with honeyz damnit! Excuse me I might have to cry in the c…oh wait… I can’t do that!!!! IT’S STILL REAL TO ME DAMNIT!!!!

THE BATTLEGROUND IS LAID OUT! I am him – Infamous Informer – Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw – The man in The Purple Suit – Grant Body – P!! RAW #1155: HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZLate Night Survival Kit: Bag of peanuts, Double Choc digestive (Freeze those muthaf***az Sub Zero as f**k!) Orange Tango, and some ice cream for later!

(THE FOLLOWING BLOG IS RE-WRITTEN. THE COMPUTER CRASHED WHILE WATCHING LIVE AND LOST THE ORIGINAL BLOG.)

OHHHH SH!T! Is that how we gonna start RAW??? With the Cadillac Crushing, J&J Security destroying, Mayor of Suplex City a.k.a. Atlanta Georgia… BRRRROCCCK LESSSNAR??!!! With his advocate who vows that Brock will BRUKK UP that Sneaky, Slimy, Revolting, Disgusting, Thief in The Night – Seth Rollins!!! Somebody print that sh!t on a shirt!

Talking of that Sneaky, Slimy, Revolting, Disgusting Thief in the Night…that muthaf***a messed up his lines talking to BRRROCCCK LESSNAR!!! YES people! Seth is shook! 100% proof! He gonna get DEAD this Sunday for sure!

Oh look at the state of the Cadillac!!! LAWD HAVE MERCY! This is a saaaad day! Do you know how much carnal activity could have taken place in there???

Cadillac CrushedGRANT BODY – P!!

For real Glenn? You gonna threaten BRRROCCK LESSNAR??? In your Sunday School Trousers??? Have you conveniently forgotten that Brock smashed the streak of your older brother who is BADDER THAN YOU???

For real Miz??? Did this muthaf***a just say he’s the toughest man in WWE? Because he was in The Marine 3? Let me remind you of something muthaf***a – you didn’t even do those stunts! I don’t have to watch the film to know that! GET IN THE CHAIR!

Yo JBL – Don’t EVER call Bray Wyatt the ‘Master of Mind Games’… you have just insulted the Don of DONS. Now look what you’ve done… you’re next to get BUSS ARSE – check it out…

Undertaker gymOHHHH SH!T! Wyatt scheduled to fight Dean Ambrose, and Ladies Favourite Roman Reigns rushes him to beat him down! To quote Steven Segal in Marked For Death, “You f**k with my family.. YOU DIE!”

Ok time for some 6-man black on black action! I love the New Day, New Day Rocks, but Primetime Players got Mark Henry on their side!!!! World’s Strongest Slam to Xavier Woods – BLAOW!!!! THAT’S WHAT I DO!!! I say have the same 6 man match for the tag team titles, since New Day like to wield the belts as all three! Get in there Mark Henry make it happen!

232 days as champion??? GO NIKKI GO!! FOR ME! AND THE WORLD! RECORD SKIP – Stephanie McMahon is out here?? Maybe she wants the title? Last time Stephanie won the women’s title, she never defended that sh!t! Broke the 30 day rule under the McMahon Helmsley reign of terror!

Hang on – Stephanie looking to change-up sh!t! The US women’s team won the world cup! Serena Williams with her fine self won the Grand Slam!

PARIS, FRANCE - JUNE 08:  Serena Williams of United States of America poses with the Coupe Suzanne Lenglen after victory in the Women's Singles Final match against Maria Sharapova of Russia  during day fourteen of French Open at Roland Garros on June 8, 2013 in Paris, France.  (Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)

Women are running things in the UFC! WWE women have to step their game up! Paige finally has back up!!! OH SH!T Becky Lynch??!!! Charlotte Flair N!&&@!!!! Er… Nikki… I don’t know if you can make the 300 now!

I’M MARKING THE F**K OUT RIGHT NOW!!!!

GOD DAYUUUM NAOMI IS OUT HERE WITH TAMINA TOO? Suddenly my heart is fluttering!!! God dayum I wanna slap SAM_3844dat @$$!!

OH SNAP!!!!! THE BOSS LADY – SASHA BANKS IS OUT HERE AND JOINING NAOMI’S FIGHT!!!! YES!!! YES! YES! CROWD CHANTING ‘THIS IS AWESOME!!!’ THIS IS OFF THE HOOK!!! THAT’S MY TEAM RIGHT THERE – SASHA, NAOMI & TAMINA!!

Shout out to STC Member Amer W. Awad! He must have marked the f**k out! Look at Stephanie – she’s loving this!!!!

So is Cameron it seems…

Breaking News: The Divas have stolen the show. If you aint with it then #GirlBye #BestForBusiness#WWEAtlanta

THE GRANT SAYS – Shame you wasn’t apart of it baby girl! If you learned to pin people properly that could have been you!

GRANT BODY – P!

Only joking Cameron – Grant loves you! It’s those IWC d!ckheads Grant hates!

3 guys fighting for an US Title shot like it’s a b!tch like Summer Rae! But this is a great contest! Kevin Owens! Rusev! Cesaro! I know I didn’t see Cesaro pull off a german suplex on Rusev and Owens at the same time!!! Can YOU do that BRRROCCK LESSSNAR??!!!

Cesaro is KILLIN EM!!! Superman leap over the ropes! Straight up and down – in a lesser federation (yeah I said it…) he’d be a champion by now! Sometimes one’s injury (Tyson Kidd) is another’s opportunity (Cesaro)… an unwritten rule in wrestling.

Rusev gets the pinfall over Cesaro… look at Cena with the last-minute stretches… Oh the Cena Haters be like – ‘Rusev just had a triple threat match – Now Cena will do the 5 moves and – ‘ SHUT THE F**K UP… You’ve watched King Of the Ring before haven’t you???

See look at Rusev he a bit mash-up! Well let’s test your endurance Rusev! If there’s anything that women like – in this case Summer Rae – it’s ENDURANCE!

I knew that muthaf***a (Owens) was gonna ruin the match! Ok calling it now – Cena is retaining the title at Battleground It will be by disqualification by Cesaro and maybe Rusev as well. REMEMBER I TOLD YA.

GOD DAYUUUUM LOOK AT LITA!!! She looks like she just had sex with Grant Body-P!!!! All her hair all over the place… OH MY GOD!!!! Introducing the Tough Enough contestants! Look at that Gabi!!! YES!

Patrick – you could have fixed your tie – you’re on big BIG WWE TV! My moms would cuss if that was me!

Giorgia damn look at those breasts! OHHHH!!! I see you, tryna take Naomi’s throne!!!

The speculation is over! Stardust lives on! To those who are upset that he should come out as Cody Rhodes in light of his father’s departure… Buck up pal!!! BUCK UP!!! and SHUDDUP!!! As long as he doesn’t become ‘The Artist formerly known as StarDust – then all is right in the world!

Rollins Vs LesnarOH SH!T – The contract signing! What I wanna know is, if the match was made official 5 weeks ago, why we having a contract signing now??? Anyway enough of that smark sh!t!

Look at Seth signing the contract in his best handwriting! He’s almost like a kid with his tongue hanging out at the side of his mouth corner as he writes HAHA! Lesnar! with his hand on his chin!! Smiling and sh!t! OH SH!T!!!!! Lesnar you’re a funny muthaf***a as well!

HOLY F**K – Lesnar threw the table at Rollins! Rollins gets a taste of Suplex city! Glenn thinks he can take Lesnar! He’s probably thinking – ‘for my brotherrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

Damn look at the contract table! All marble and sh!t! Good luck tryna chokeslam somebody through that muthaf***a!

AH – HAAAA! Heyman suspected Rollins was trying to be teef! Lesnar turns the table over! And finds a dutty big piece of stick underneath! Seth get find out now!!!! UH-OH!!!!

Look at Seth! slowly going towards the table where Brock is waiting for him!!!! Seth – DON’T GIVE ME JOKE!!

What was Rollins thinking??? Tryna jump over the ropes only to land in Lesnar’s arms set up for the F5 on the concrete floor! Lucky Glenn was there to kick down Lesnar! Stomping Lesnar out like he’s in a Mobb Deep video! Now Rollins is using the stick! Glenn again gets involved – oh no – F5 to the concrete floor – BLAOW!!!

Rollins is like – OH SH!T!!! I must run like my name is Jon Connor! The T-1000 is after me!!!! MOMMY!!!

t-1000-running-oOH SNAP!!!!! LITERALLY! I hope Glenn enjoyed himself in Hawaii, and got all the Hawaiian pu$$y, because his leg brukk from the steel steps from BRRRROCCCK LESSSNARRR! Even Big Brother is sitting there like – He only broke my streak… I’m still healthy!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

FOR REAL???? Ok see Rollins you have gone too far! You curse out Glenn and then stomp on his shattered leg??? Ok Glenn… it’s TIME… Calling it now – Seth Rollins is LOSING THAT TITLE. Enter Seth Vs KANE for Summerslam… this has brewed for a long time, and big up the creative for stretching the storyline out…

IT'S KANNNNNNE3

 

OFFICIAL STC THEME TUNE FOR BATTLEGROUND:

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

NEW STC LOGO 2015

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