Smack Talk Centre-Raw
I am him: Infamous Informer, Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw, GRANT BODY -P! I will tell you straight up and down – I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT HULK HOGAN. Only exception is if it’s in relation to this week’s RAW. I’m already sick of the sh!t over the weekend.
But that Terminator WWE2K16 though!!!! First thing on payday I’m taking my backside to GAME and pre-ordering that sh!t! I can’t see what the problem is with you gaming/wrestling nerds, you want special characters in games but you complain? Oh yeah I forgot, I don’t like your kind anyway!
If the crowd chant for Hogan, I won’t hold it against them. But after that, y’all gotta let it burn. RAW #1157: HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!
…and how does the show start? With the evil one himself – TRIPLE TEEEF!!! I am the gamerrrr…. I couldn’t control the situationerrrrrrr, I can’t get to the point in 20 minuteserrrrrr!!!
The rumours are true rude boy!!!! Summerslam 4 hours – GOD DAMN!!!! RILEY’S WOLVERHAMPTON – GET READY!!!!
What? More announcements? Ok Dean Ambrose Vs Big Show I can ride to that, Sasha Banks Vs Paige – Show her who the boss is Sasha! And Randy Orton Vs Kevin Owens??? Bellas Vs Charlotte/Becky? Big wrestling matches ah gwarn!
Seth Rollins – don’t expect me to stand up and say you’re the greatest champion of all time, you didn’t fight Undertaker & Brock Lesnar therefore…. you’re ONE OF the greatest pu$$!£$ of all time!
You just insulted John Cena my dude! OH SH!T – Cena paid his dues in the apology tour! He wants #16!!!! I support this! I’m all for upsetting the IWC!!!!
YES MOVEMENT for Cena Vs Rollins for the WWE title? No? Stephanie just trolled us all! God damn you woman! Go and kiss dog!
But Cena gotta defend his US Title against Rollins? Looks like the apology tour continues! I can ride to that! Backing Cena all the way! Cena successfully defends… I called it last week – Title for Title at Summerslam – REMEMBER I TOLD YA!
I though Ambrose was on some Eddie Guerrero sh!t – untying Big Show’s laces then taking out his legs! It was purely strategy to recoup…
Remember back in the days? When Big Show used to do the chokeslam and that would be it?
Yo Miz – keep telling yourself you’re the baddest muthaf**a in the WWE – f**k around and the glass will smash! I know somebody who you tell you different!
OHHH SNAP!!!!! Ambrose went for the suicide dive, and landed right into Big Show’s fist – PPPPPPPP! Ambrose ain’t making the ten count f**k that!
And even after all that, Ambrose got to his feet, Big Slow was gonna finish him… Ambrose sidestep – BOOM – right into the barricade!
For real???? Fandango is still alive???? Oh well he ain’t now… Neville just settled him with the Red Arrow… What’s Stardust beef with Neville??? Does he fancy him or something??? I think Stardust thinks a Red Arrow is one of those Ice lollies you get from the ice cream man…..
OH MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
SOMEBODY GET HIM OUTTA HERE!!!!
You see this is why Grant is not a Paige fan, she got Charlotte and Becky Lynch wearing ‘This Is My House’ shirts… they don’t have a team name, so it’s still all about Paige… mannn… f**k that b!tch!
LET’S GO SASHA!! Kill her! Destroy her completely!
You will see… in months to come, Paige gonna f**k over Becky and Charlotte… remember I told ya!
Aaaah sh!t why the ref throw out the women at ringside? What is he gay too? If that was me, I’d send for a next referee and I’ll go away with Charlotte, Becky, Naomi & Tamina! Me and them four would have a REAAAL good time!!!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
YES! MY GIRL SASHA HIT PAIGE WITH THE BANK STATEMENT!!! Whose house is it now b!tch!!! That’s what’s up!
For real Rusev? You gonna get Summer Rae a dutty dawg? Good idea Rusev call the dog – Dolph Ziggler! That’s a great name!
He got Summer Rae a dead fish??? Oh my days – he’s tryna say Lana pu$$y smells??? OUTTA ORDER & BRIGHT!
Pushing the boundaries are we Triple Teef??
OH NO! Lana kick down Summer Rae! and rub her face in the fish! You know what Lana’s tryna say right???
GRANT BODY – P!
Haha I just love when Rusev is cussing! Face it Rusev – you want Summer Rae to dress like Lana on some Action Bronson biting Ghostface style and sh!t – admit it – Summer Rae was just the consolation prize!
What I wanna know is, why are muthaf***az concerned about Axelmania? The Grant says – F**K AXELMANIA! AxelMania is dead, and in its death, long live the DAYWALKER!!! GRANT BODY – P!!!
Ok – a lil mathematics – last week, Los Matadores beat the PTP, I thought that makes them #1 contenders… this week Lucha Dragons beat Los Matadores… both matches had The New Day causing the distraction… is it me or do I smell a Fatal Four Way match at Summerslam? Come on! Throw the Tables, Ladders and the Chairs in there let’s do this!!! (Oh sh!t am I asking too much? I better get my mind out the attitude era!)
For real Wyatt? You just gonna say that the parents don’t love their kids? Well at least he isn’t speaking cryptically…he’s gotta point though, the police don’t protect us… they wanna destroy us because they can and get away with it…
Wyatt gonna digress about some pet… I guess he’s talking about Luke Harper coming back to him… yeah yeah where’s the Shield??? Come down the stairs!!!
I guess the Shield can’t be bothered… lets continue the Divas revolution! See I like Becky & Charlotte, I hope they brukk up the Bellas.. it’s that Paige I’m not a fan of!
…and while they come down the ramp and get ready for their contest against the Bellas, check this exclusive interview that MIKE KNOXXX and GRANT BODY – P interviewed, the beautiful, sexy, don’t take no sh!t, former Tough enough competitor – Gabi Castrovinci! Don’t just look at her and wank off… CLICK THE PIC NUH MAN!!!!
I got this feeling somewhere down the road Triple gonna give Gabi a tryout anyway… he sees that uniqueness in her… You see? Winning Tough Enough ain’t sh!t!
OH SNAAAP! Becky Lynch use the DISARMOUR super move! Alicia Fox tapped out like a b!tch! Alicia in my bad books too!
Sheamus at ringside while Kevin Owens and Randall fight? Hmmm I think we know who gonna win this one! Unless of course Cesaro finds himself out here!
See Randall ain’t like John… Randall is more of that dark hero sh!t… Randall will f**k you up – Cena won’t!
Sheamus – you do realise I was sitting there waiting for you to interfere in that match… so what stipulation you and Randall gonna have???
I knew Cesaro would get involved but it didn’t work out too well for him – pop-up powerbomb – BLAOW!!! Try again kid!
Ok main event time! John Cena Vs Seth Rollins! COME ON CENA!!! What – you thought Cena was gonna be in mid-card forever??? YOU DUMB RARSE!!!
Quote of the week – “If you’re a champion your ego should be out of control… look at Floyd Mayweather… he’s out of control… he’s never been beat…” (JAY-BEE) Let’s be real – from time Big Show couldn’t manage Mayweather, my dude Pacquiao couldn’t take him back in May! Yo Mayweather haters… you gotta make it burn!
Oh dear! Seth Rollins hit the Tiger Knee right into Cena’s nose – BLAOW!!! That should have been a Mortal Kombat X-Ray moment! Yeah the crowd would chant ‘This Is Awesome!’ because Cena nose brukk up!!!!
Go on muthaf***a, tell me this wrestling thing is fake…. oh that would be you CM Princess Peach B!tch!! That’s why I lost respect for that fool! And Cena just beat Rollins with a f**ked up nose!!! YES CENA!!! The respect I once had for CM Pnuk… is now handed over to Cena! What you gonna do now Rollins? You gotta defend your title at Summerslam!!! (Why have I got this feeling Rollins gonna get away again??? Either that or Sheamus cashes his cheque against Cena and win???
Quality wrestling contests, no sign of Undertaker & Brock (as I thought,) and no Hogan chants! WOW! maybe there is hope for humanity!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.