Tag Archives: Roman Reigns

Monday Night Raw #1307, June 11, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Since y’all muthaf***az are not watching the World Wrestling Federation Live because of E3, I’m not watching it live either! I’m not watching E3 either… I GOTTA BETTER THINGS TO DO! Every year the same muthaf***a pops up in my FB inbox like ‘you watching E3’? THE GRANT SAYS – F**K E3! I’M NOT THAT GUY! That gaming aspect of me, getting excited over video games… it died a lonnnnnnnnng time ago!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1307! COREY GRAVES IS MY NEW HERO!

Screenshot-2018-6-12 Corey Graves ( WWEGraves) TwitterScreenshot-2018-6-12 Corey Graves ( WWEGraves) Twitter(1)Screenshot-2018-6-12 Corey Graves ( WWEGraves) Twitter(2)

YEAH CALM THE F**K DOWN INTERNERDS!!! I’m gonna use that!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m guessing this is how RAW & Smackdowns gonna start, with ladders in the ring and muthaf***az arguing about who is winning this sh!t…

BUMBACLAAAAAT LOOK AT BARON CORBIN HEADTOP! Did I miss a hair vs hair match or something?

Kevin Owens giving me joke! Saying Braun is too damn big!!!!

Even Alexa Blitch is giving me joke! That was a great line I admit!

“Y’all sounding like the Real Housewives of WWE!”

Did you see Braun’s face when Alexa says he’s gonna win? He was like ‘yeah you’re gonna get this d!ck’!

GRANT BODY-P!

OMG look at Breezango… getting more and more cumse-cumsa! What the f**k is all this frilly sh!t going on? I’m no fan of Ziggler & Wackintye, but I hope they buss up their clart!

Nice to see Roman Reigns smiling! Probably because he knows the WWE are editing out the boos for YouTube!

The Grant Says The B Team might be doing their thing… but I hope they get deleted!!! If Hardy & Wyatt can send for the lake of reincarnation and throw those B Team muthaf**az in there… then they can be one big happy family! Especially for Bo Dallas & Wyatt!

So the Riott Squad are going to start taking black lipstick and branding their opponents after they beat them down? Very NWO-ish don’t you think?!!!

You know what – let’s throw a pic of this woman… FOR NO REASON!

Mandy Rose

HOLY SMOKES THOSE BREASTS THOUGH!!!! Even the top she got on is saying – GOD DAYUUUUUUUUUUM!

WTF does Curt Hawkins have on? That’s some cumse-cumsa sh!t too! I’m glad No Way Jose boxed him down like that! 0-201 now muthaf***a! You lucky this ain’t UFC! You lose twice and that’s it – you’re GONE!

GRANT BODY-P!

The question remains – who was that long black-haired girl in the No Way Jose parade?

Wait a minute – has Sami Zayn brought the Stone Cold Steve Austin Skullbuster to WWE? There’s even a bell at the end of the rope climb!

Sami Zayn’s Skullbuster was SAWFT! Lashley knocked it out in less than a minute! Zayn didn’t like that sh!t so what does he do? Assault Lashley!

Elias just told me RAW was in Little Rock Arkansaw! Not really a ‘wrestling crowd’ is it?

Look at that – it’s a custom – made guitar for when Elias wins the Intercontinental joint at Money In The Bank! Did my dude Askem paint that for you?

Oh no! Rollins just noticed the Custom made guitar! Crowd be like – BURN IT DOWN! So why doesn’t Rollins do just that? Light a match and burn that muthaf***a? But I suppose stamping on it works just as well…

Money In the Bank 2018

Ooooooh it looks like Ronda Rousey has improved on her mic skills! She has put in serious time down there at the performance center! SHE IS RONDA ROUSEY! AND SHE IS BORN READY!

She wasn’t ready for that headbutt from Nia though!

Ronda sending for the arm bar! Nia trying to block! Can Ronda get it? YES!!! NIA WAS TAPPING LIKE A BEEEEEATTTCH! HOLY SMOKES!

Bobby Roode, Kevin Owens and Finn Balor combing their force to take Braun Strowman out the game! I got a bad feeling about this!

Kevin Owens with a frog splash off the top of the ladder to Strowman through a table – BLAOW!

And even with those super moves, Braun STILL got up!!!!

Hit Owens with the Running Powerslam on the ladder – BLAOW! One, Two and…. THREE!

This one didn’t end in me deddin on the floor, But I know who will be deddin – VIRGIN MEDIA if I don’t pay those bills!

GRANT BODY-P!

 

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Monday Night Raw #1295, March 19, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Word on the street is they have inducted my dude Mark Henry into the Hall of Fame. At time of this part of the blog, it’s not confirmed but dirt sheets have reported it. Usually I say #DirtSheetsAreSATAN because they spoil sh!t and lowers your excitement upon watching this wrestling sh!t. No one wants to be surprised anymore it seems, then complaining on the internet follows…but on this occasion, I wear my Mark Henry shirt. Even if it’s not true!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1295! Are you happy now? They changed the name of the bumbaclart match. Now sit down and SHUDDUP!

Before I continue talking sh!t, I got something for you Roman haters…. while he’s ‘suspended’, there he is on Hot 97 in his full suit promoting the big BIG WrestleMania! Ladies are getting wet in their panties right now! A handsome man in a suit????

That’s why my real life woman gets nervous when I don the Infamous Purple Suit…

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a minute  Roman Reigns not supposed to be here???!!!! Yo I’m keeping out of this!

They sent US Marshalls after Double R? This should be good!

You mean to tell me three strapping US Marshalls cannot manage Double R?! Now Brock is here! HERE COMES THE PAIN!!! Oh no Roman is F**ked now!

The haters are loving this surely! Suplex City and chair shots to a handcuffed Roman! It must be their grandest day! JR would have lost sh!t by now!

I hear a few haters in Dallas Texas chanting ‘YOU DESERVE IT’ to Double R, obviously the rest of Dallas Texas are not playing that sh!t! Y’all haters are bloodthirsty muthaf***az! Are you gonna get on top of your rubber robot dolls too?

GRANT BODY-P!

I am hungry as a muthaf***a! let me see what I can find in the kitchen…

I know Michael Cole did not just say that’s the most horrific attack he’s ever seen… Er… Braun you have been insulted!!!!

Alexa Bliss faces Asuka… do you think Nia Jax will lead by example and bring the pain on Alexa?

Awwwww Alexa is sorry…. f**kouttahere!!!

Oh no! Alexa is going IN!!! This is the woman you guys love off? SHE HAS NO MANNERS!!!

“I uuuuuuused Nia…”

…and look at Mickie James like a silly fool laughing along – didn’t Mickie get dissed by Alexa for being old??? WHAT IS THIS?

mickie alexa

MEME COURTESY OF MIKE MOELLER

Gotta say Mickie James though… f**k me!!! OWWWWWWWW!!! Mickie looks like that chick who’s gardening you just took care of but she has no money to pay you…

GRANT BODY-P!

Sh!t I had to take an important call… now I gotta catch up on half this sh!t!

(after catching up) I don’t know where Alexa is going with her brukk leg – Nia Jax music hits! It’s not quite ‘I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU’ but it will do!

Nia nearly ketch her but Mickie James was there to cause a distraction! Good GAWD ALMIGHTY Mickie! Damn I need to inject some hip hop in that pu$$@y!!!!

THAT IS ENOUGH!

Oh no! Braun believes he can win the tag titles by himself! This is not gonna go down well with the tag team traditionalists! To that THE GRANT SAYS THIS: NXT. Dusty Rhodes Classic. That is for YOU!

I know Cesaro didn’t just say as a team – they eat together, drink together, and sleep together!!!! If that’s the case – Bobby Roode is one of the luckiest muthaf***az right now!

Roode put it in Charlotte

GRANT BODY-P!

So the Revival have to send for the booby prize – The Andre The Giant Battle Royal… haha what b!tches!

I cannot lie – out of everyone inducted this year – Mark Henry being inducted in the Hall Of Fame brought me joy. That’s three out of the main 5 guys of the Nation of Domination now inducted… now THAT’S A GUY you muthaf***az in Dallas Texas should chant ‘YOUGRANT BENT ON DESTRUCTION DESERVE IT’ to!

Damn it Sasha get it over with and KILLLLL Bayley!!!

Wait! Before you do… take care of Absolution first!

Mandy Rose is sexy as f**k but if she is ‘God’s createst creation’, you are insulting Naomi, Roselyn Sanchez, Gal Gadot, Tiffany Haddish, and any of the 25 women Mike Knoxxx chooses on his show!

GRANT BODY-P!

Look here – it’s Mr Trouble – yes he with the fruity pebble shirts!

“As long as there is a WWE, the name UNDERTAKER has meaning!!”

I swear if John Cena doesn’t get you hype for a match you initially didn’t want to see, guess what – YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!

Wait – isn’t Dallas Texas, Undertaker’s real life home town?

According to Cena, it’s DISRESPECTFUL that Undertaker hasn’t given us an answer to Cena’s challenge! Yo I’m keeping out of this one!

“The Undertaker is a COWARD!!!”

This is the part where I’m moving over here awkwardly?!!!!

IT’S KANE!!!!! Er… uh-oh!!!!! Last time Kane and Cena clashed, Zack Ryder ended up with a neck brace and Eve retreated as far as Brazil to find her husband!

GRANT BODY-P!

Is it a yes, or is it a no?? CHOKESLAM!!!! CHOKESLAM!!! BLAOW!!!! Not exactly the question you was looking for was it Cena????

Oh no The Miz demands respect! Oh well it ain’t gonna start today!

The Miz doesn’t get a look in the WrestleMania magazine! Whose fault is that???

I know The Miz did not just call Seth Rollins and Finn Balor by their Indy names!!!! I bet that got the internet fans masturbating hard!!!!

SWEET!!! The Miztourage was gonna do the Shield supermove on Finn Balor when Seth Rollins thought – HELL 2 THE NAW – ran down, took out the Miztourage and set up The Miz – Curb Stomp – BLAOW!

The Ultimate Deletion… I expect this to be so awful that it’s jokes!

Wyatt is actually looking forward to this!!!

Wait – Wyatt has a housewarming gift? A steel chair?

You mean Matt Hardy got money for cheap pyro tricks but WWE hasn’t? What world are we living in?

Flashbacks of the Wyatt home what Randall burned to the ground??!!!! Are you complaining on the internet yet

I don’t know about you but I prefer this than the first deletion match in the TNA joint!

The question remains – does this match find its way into WWE2K19?????

GRANT BODY-P!

OH SNAP! Senor Benjamin! Brother Nero! Their sudden appearance enabled Matt to DELETE Wyatt! He threw him in the drink!!! I can’t lie I was entertained! If you are complaining on the internet, just remember one thing – IT WAS YOU who wanted Broken Matt Hardy in the WWE!

 

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Monday Night Raw #1294, March 12, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I wanna take this time to big up the newest Facebook wrestling group I am in: The CHAIRSHOT. They are supporting me and the BDSIR NETWORK. I sincerely hope they appreciate the style of blogs I do – This ain’t your usual review blog. I give my thoughts from a Jamaican man’s point of view (which means I don’t take this wrestling sh!t seriously, I use a lot of Hip Hop references, and my aim is to make you laugh. I was born in England of Jamaican descent.) Don’t expect me to talk technicalities in wrestling!

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1294! JUST LIKE D12, IT’S FIGHT MUSIC!!!

Ok, I got 2 Chicago pizzas in the oven, a Miranda orange drink, and that marvellous Jamaica ginger cake for later… I got a feeling RAW is gonna be a good one!

Right – I’ve missed the first 20 minutes of this sh!t because of the wack streams. I heard Roman Reigns voice but that’s about it… I bet that doesn’t bother the haters!

Sonya Deville fine @$$ fighting Sasha Banks sexy @$$… I won’t put my pizzas on yet…

Now this Kid Rock guy… I heard he’s not down with the brothers… if that is true then THE GRANT SAYS F**k you Kid Rock! However, he did one thing that I can respect – that is – provide that American Bad Ass tune for The Undertaker when he returned in 2000. All that Judgment Day is now business? It was such a feel good moment after Triple Teef and his crew were beating down The Rock every week…

ARE YOU SCARED? HE’S HERE! HIS JUDGMENT DAY IS NOW!!! THAT IS SOME GOOSEBUMP SH!T! THE MCMAHON HELMSLEY FACTION GOT F**KED UP! AAAH GOOD TIMES!

I am so f**ked off with this stream – I gotta catch up on YouTube in the morning.

…and so I wake up and find that rapper Craig Mack has passed away…muthaf***a!

Can we get a 10 bell salute to Craig Mack?

We gotta keep it moving y’all, so I’m on the YouTube… and I click on the Sonya Deville Vs Sasha Banks match, and straight away there is a warning about its content… er… does one of them lose their top or something? Do we accidentally see Sasha’s pum-pum when her leg is hooked for the three??

LET’S GO IN!!!

All I saw was Bayley helping Sasha win her match against Sonya because Absolution was gonna teef, then after the match they rushed Sasha, by which time Bayley already left the building! The plot thickens!

I didn’t see anything offensive… DID YOU?

YES! The Fabulous Moolah Battle Royal! It’s funny how we were talking about this on the JAMMS Podcast and what Fabulous Moolah has done, good and bad,  hey none of us are perfect… my early pick to win? CARMELLA. F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S… get it? Nah? ok let;s keep it moving…

The Miz trying to work brain as usual to turn Seth Rollins and Finn Balor against each other… I’m just waiting for both of them to get up and kick down The Miz in his mouth corner!

Seth told him to shut up on his own show! Can he do that?

Uh-oh! Seth & Finn look like they are gonna go at it! Look at The Miz’s face! He’s loving this!!! I’ve never seen him look so happy ever since he put it in Maryse!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO THEY CLOCKED HIM! SMILE GONE!!!!

Miz tried to run but he got ketch! Finn Balor box him down! But forgotten for a split second Seth Rollins is still there!

So Seth is all about Burning It Down and flames on his attire. Do you think my hero Kane taught him how to set things on fire by just using his hands?

So Alexa Blitch believes that Asuka chose Charlotte because she knew she would ‘lose’ her? CALLING MY NXT EXPERTS! Did Asuka & Alexa clash back at Full Sail University??? Answers on a postcard please! TWEET ME @MZATheInfamous!

I don’t like how this Alexa Blitch is talking to Asuka!

WRESTLING FANS ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE – EXHIBIT A! we don’t need to go to NXT! Go back to Jan 1, 2018!!!!

Technically Asuka is eligible for a title shot against Alexa! Asuka could make history, beat Alexa, go to Smackdowns, beat Charlotte at WrestleMania and hold two titles at once! But of course WWE is not gonna clock on to that sh!t!

“To be the woman, you gotta BEAT THE WOMAN”!

Translation… Alexa is NO WOMAN. She is just a LITTLE B!TCH! And Charlotte is ALL WOMAN let me tell ya!

GRANT BODY-P!

Asuka speaks the truth! “I beat you before! I beat you AGAIN!” There’s the evidence up there!

If I was Asuka I’d just kick down Alexa word up!

Mickie James went in against Asuka, but she missed the Mick Kick – got caught with the Asuka Lock – TAP OUT!!! Mickie was crying for Alexa as if Alexa was her moms!!!

Alexa Bliss bex! So what does she do? disrespect Nia Jax… and WWE go and feed some funny looking out of shape jobber to get killed!

OH NO! Someone is on that GTV sh!t! Alexa and Mickie running down Nia! DISRESPECT!

Next week Asuka faces Alexa! But watch this – either that match is not gonna happen, or Nia is gonna jump in and Alexa gonna get F**KED UP!!! If I was Alexa b!tch @$$ I wouldn’t attempt to come to work next week!

Tag Team Battle Royal winner fights The Bar at the WrestleMania!

Wait a minute! BRAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!! He can’t enter this? (Then again maybe he can – he has the strength of 10 men and a tag team consists of 2…saying that Braun is a ONE MAN FACTION!!!)

It cracks me up every single time when Braun runs after his opponent! It’s the scariest run ever since the T-1000!

t-1000-running-o

If they cast Braun as the next Terminator – I’m sorry – Arnie would have NO CHANCE! John Connor would be FINISHED! And Alexa Bliss would play as Sarah Connor!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh sheeeeeeeeeeet! Braun just blatantly told Anderson – “I’M GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!” and dashed him out the ring! He’s the #1 contender for the championship! LET THE COMPLAINING ON THE INTERNET BEGIN! Oh wait… you guys like Braun though!!!

WHOA! NEXT WEEK we are gonna see the Ultimate Deletion! NOT WrestleMania! Sounds good to me! Y’all loved the Final Deletion on TNA – I checked it out myself recently… you guys were right – it was so awful that it was entertaining. So don’t complain on the internet saying it’s wack – I EXPECT IT TO BE WACK!

“You have a beautiful family… it would be a shame if something happened to them…” OH MY GOD!!! Wyatt wants to kill little Maxel! he wants to put it n that Reby Sky or whatever her name is! (Yo she is KRISS!!!!) Let’s throw up a picture of her for NO REASON!

Reby Sky

Ok as you have noticed this sh!t is in a different order… let’s get into the nitty-gritty!

Brock is not in the building!!!! UH-OH!!!! LET THE COMPLAINING ON THE INTERNET BEGIN! The WWE Universal Champion must in stitches with Sable!

Double R speaks the truth! If you don’t show up to work? You get FIRED! Back to the Jobcentre! Watching Jeremy Kyle on a weekday followed by Supermarket Sweep!

GRANT BODY-P!

Uh-Oh Roman Reigns is calling out Vincent Kennedy! Aaah sheeeeet it’s gonna be pandemonium on the internet!

Good lord! The cameras followed Double R through the gorilla position to the backstage where Vincent Kennedy & Shane are! Shane can’t be there??? This is not Smackdowns?

“GO TO THE COMMERCIAL!!!!”

Big BIG WrestleMania 34

Clearly this scene with sexy @$$ Renee Young outside Vincent Kennedy’s office and Roman storming out while Vince ‘seemingly fixing his suit’ is ammunition for the internet who believe Vince & Roman have sexual relations… oh man how awkward is this… Yo WWE – you’re not doing any favors here!

With that said – this is straight WrestleMania quality building! Vince guarantees Brock will be here next week! Here’s the twist! Double R is suspended for a hot minute!

Translation – They are keeping Brock and Roman away from each other until the go home show when they can get their ruckus on! DO THE KNOWLEDGE JABRONIES!

Finally Jonathan Cena… I’m sorry to say this Nikki – you are DEFINETLEY NOT GET MARRIED… you gonna be a widow… you gonna be like Hilary Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air… Cena might as well do a bungee jump and his head hit the concrete floor. The way he talked about The Undertaker… NO ONE HAS GONE THERE. Not the Rock, Not CM Punk, Not even Stone Cold Steve Austin… even when Shawn Michaels kicked the 16-1 headstone, this was nothing compared to Cena’s Grown Thuganomics…

 

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Monday Night Raw #1292, February 26, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

‘Michael Grant is NOT a CM Punk fan, nor is he an Alexa Bliss fan, and he likes Roman Reigns.. so therefore Michael Grant, this so-called Infamous Informer, Grant P Body Rock or whatever he calls himself, doesn’t know SH!T about wrestling like we do. Why should we listen to him? Why should we read his blogs? Yeah he posts pictures of women and I just hit like. Apart from that, I don’t give a f**k about his blogs…he thinks he’s some big shot because he’s thinks he working with Wu-Tang Clan.. and got his radio shows that no one listens to… you know what – f**k Michael, f**k his blogs, and f**k Naomi… she’s not even all that…just because she got a big @$$… now Alexa Bliss… that’s what you call an @$$…’

ronda-rousey-636x397

…and yet somehow I predicted everything about the Elimination Chamber correctly… including Ronda Rousey’s WrestleMania opponent – you fools said it would be Charlotte…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1292! It’s WrestleMania season! I got no time for grumpy muthaf***az!

As much as I can’t stand her, I can’t even say Alexa is talking sh!t – she is speaking the truth! She DID smash it at the Chamber!

Nia Jax is on Asuka like – ‘I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!!’

Mickie James must have quietly turned heel or something… there you are IWC – another notch under your belt – you like people to turn heel don’t you?

GRANT BODY-P!

HOLY SMOKES! In the 6 person tag contest, Sasha was going for the tag, but Bayley left the apron!!! UH-OH!!!!

BEST FRIENDS BECOME STRANGERS?

It’s obviously a personal thing because Bayley is still active in this contest…and helps Asuka win the match… it’s just a qualm against Sasha… oh dear Sasha you shouldn’t have kicked her down like that at the Chamber!

John Cena says he has figured it out!!!! he must have been doing some serious sleeping… or serious sleeping with Nikki to figure it out!

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a second – John!!! You wanna challenge who??? Think about this – you’re getting married aren’t you??? Don’t summon the dead – he’s gonna put you in a box!

SWITCH!!!! “That match is NOT HAPPENING!” Oh my god he came to his senses quick!

“That match is impossible…” I thought you were about making the impossible – POSSIBLE John? I mean, Nikki thought it was IMPOSSIBLE that she would get married to you!

He’s gonna go to Smackdowns!! It is the land of opportunity! Y’all know I’m 50/50 on this, but I’m just throwing it out there – John Cena Vs Undertaker was a Smackdown thing back in the day!

Why do the commentators act like what Bray’s doing (that upside down spider sh!t) they haven’t seen it before?

Remind me to research this ‘FINAL DELETION’ thing which made Broken Matt Hardy so famous!

Oh no! The Miz is going for longest running (accumulative days) Intercontinental Champion of all time! Somebody stop him!!!

“Those booing you will be watching it (Miz & Mizzus) anyway so I don’t care…” While The Miz may have a point about the haters I know one person who WILL NOT be watching it – ME!!!

Miz has no merchandise! I wonder why??! Because NO ONE WANTS TO BUY THAT SH!T!

“I should be going to the main event of WrestleMania…” Er Miz… in order to do that, you have to either:

A – win the Royal Rumble

B – win the Elimination Chamber

C – already be the World Wrestling Federation Champion

You are NONE OF THOSE THINGS! So with that said  –

SEAN PRICE - STFU

Don’t take off your dark glasses giving me that mean grill – YOU’RE A PU$$Y!

Oh dear! He’s really upset isn’t he! Somebody give this muthaf***a a kleenex!

he-gon-cry-in-the-car-o

HOLY SMOKES! The Miz was three-quarters away and Seth Rollins hit the frog splash off the top ropes!!! 1, 2 and…3!!!

Let me get this right so I can understand this – last week, Seth Rollins went over an hour and smashed it, but The Miz doesn’t wanna fight two guys one after the other in Rollins and Balor? If there was ever a B!TCH OF THE WEEK – it’s THE MIZ!

OH SNAP – THE BALOR CLUB COMING THROUGH!!! WROOOOOOOOOY!!!

KURT ANGLE SHUT EVERYTHING DOWN! The Miz cannot get out of it!!! He still gotta fight Finn Balor!

Finn Balor beat The Miz too! Yo Kurt – Triple Threat this muthaf***a!

The question remains – what becomes of Braun Strowman??? Let’s go find out!

Elias may have to think about a face turn later this year… could be sooner rather than later because the crowd are actually WALKING WITH ELIAS!

“Every word uttered from Corey Graves stupid face is noise pollution!” Elias can’t say that??!!! Corey Graves is GREAT! he can’t do a thing wrong, not after that stunt he and Booker-T pulled!

The crowd roar ‘BRAAAAAAUUUUUUUUNNN!!’ as well!! HOLY SMOKES! Y’all talk about WWE not making stars…. do you know how stupid you sound right now?

See this is what you wanted right? (I’m talking to STC’s Henry Lofts… who hated the idea of the gauntlet match in the group last week…) Elias Vs Braun!

Elias TEEEEEF! You got the fire extinguisher and use it against Braun because you can’t manage him! Gonna be interesting where this goes…

Elias tek foot and run! But he actually got away like Naomi got away from me!

“ELIAS! I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!!”

Meanwhile the limo pulls up…uh oh!!! You think it’s Vincent Kennedy?

2/3 FALLS jump off for The Bar Vs Titus Worldwide! I LIKE THIS! Shame WWE edited it down to just under 4 minutes on YouTube…

…and maybe I know why! Not even 10 seconds in and Titus loses the first fall… for goodness sakes!

Apollo Cre – Oh I’m not supposed to address him by that now am I? Er anyway he put up a better fight but The Bar got em… KMT!

The Bar are on it like – we have beaten everybody! Who are we gonna fight at WrestleMania? May I have a suggestion? The Revival? The Balor Club????

Big BIG WrestleMania 34

So this is Vincent Kennedy’s newest plan to get Double R over with you guys… by having Double R come out and talk the truth about Brock Lesnar hiding behind his contract… it seems to be working!

WHOA! Double R is going IN!!!! (Oh yeah I forgot – he hasn’t got good mic skills has he?)

GRANT BODY-P!

Holy smokes Double R is saying what the internet has been saying! I LIKE THIS! because it means the internet can’t say sh!t!

“I don’t respect Brock Lesnar, and I sure as hell don’t fear that b!tch!”

You made that obvious last time Roman! WrestleMania 31, you were laughing at his suplexes!!!

Ooooh Stephanie loves that doesn’t she? ‘WWE OWNS Ronda Rousey’! WWE loves that 1555 mentality (if you know what I’m talking about!)

WROOOOOOOOY LOOK AT RONDA ROUSEY! WALKING DOWN THE RAMP LIKE SHE’S IN THE YOU-EFF-CEE!

“You need to work within the system…” Such familiar words… last time I heard those words, a certain chairman was looking at the lights shaking like he had a fit after getting a STONE COLD STUNNER!

WHOA! I thought Kurt was all about his three I’s!!! I can;t believe he lied!!! Oh man… I;m so upset… damn!!!

Uh-oh! NO ONE SLAPS RONDA ROUSEY AND LIVES!!! (unless your name is Holly Holm that is but er anyway – ) Stephanie must apologise to Ronda! WHOA! No way is Steph gonna do that surely!

WHAT?! WHOA! I guess there is a first time for everything! maybe The Undertaker WILL wrestle again! Maybe CM Punk WILL come back! Stephanie just apologised! Do you think she will KOW-TOW too?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!! TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!! HE BOXED DOWN KURT ANGLE! NOW THAT WAS FUNNY!

BRAVO WWE! YOU ENTERTAINED ME THIS WEEK! 4/5 HBK WWE TITLE REIGNS (1997/1998)

STC 2018 logo3

Monday Night Raw #1276, November 13, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

 

OL DIRTY BASTARD KING

Today marks the 13th Anniversary of the passing of ODB… the ONLY ODB I will acknowledge, the Ol’ Dirty Bastard of The Wu-Tang Clan. Let me tell you wrestling fans something. If you speak of another ‘ODB’, DO NOT INSULT ME, DO NOT INSULT HIP HOP, and DO NOT READ MY BLOGS.

GRANT BODY-P!

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REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like James Ellsworth. He got BUSS ARSE by the gyal dem all over the UK & Europe. Shame. Shame. SHAME!!! RING THE BELL!!

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RAW 1276! It gaah pop off tonight! BUMBACLART!!!

Steph Raw

Double chocolate digestive and a chicken & leek cup of soup. I expect RUCKUS!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh sheeeeeeeeet! Stephanie is here! Why she got on some dress that looks like a 60-year-old would wear?! She needs to take it off…
Shout out to Shabba Ranks and Johnny Gill… Slow and Sexy… GRANT BODY-P!
Come on Kurt – sweet talk Steph! What happened to your charm? Show her your gold medals do something!
The crowd doesn’t seem to like Jason Jordan very much! They don’t like John Cena either!
Oh no! Steph thinks Kurt has gone soft! I could never be ‘soft’ around Steph… I’m just saying…
GRANT BODY-P!
The Shield are here! You don’t think they are gonna powerbomb Stephanie through the ring are they???
Wait – I take that back what I said about Steph – she got some stockings on or something – GOD DAYUUUUUUM!
How is Steph gonna ask

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

where has he been? Like we don’t know!

I thought Double R was gonna say what he and the Shield was gonna do to Steph! As in sexually!
THE BLACK SHIELD
Stephanie… we know you’re a freak… can you take us three????
OH MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Triple threat match to find out who joins the Raw women’s team! Mickie James all the way! I’m surprised Dana Brooke still has a contract! I hope she doesn’t miss her friend too much!
And of course you got Bayley… surely the favourite right?
Side note – Nia Jax looks hot with those braids she got going on! Actually lets throw a pic of her… for no reason!
Nia Jax lawd2
…and the bell has sounded! So much for your dirt sheets! Where’s Paige at then wrestling experts???? YOU IMBECILES!
Er… how the rarse is Dana Brooke gonna slap Asuka? That’s career suicide right there! Asuka with a roundhouse kick to Dana’s cheekbone – BLAOW!
Bayley is the 5th member! Fantastic! #DirtSheetsAreTheDevil – you are damned fools for reading those sh!ts!
Enzo calls his Championship his ‘boo’… that’s the closest he’s gonna get to pu$$y!
Time for the Shield to buss The Miz arse again! Oh it’s Miz TV? Where’s the remote – change the channel! But change it back if The Miz gets buss arse!
What’s wrong with Cesaro’s mouth? He’s talking like he got a gun in his mouth!
I could have been more profane, but I like Cesaro… who doesn’t? GRANT BODY-P!
Oh I forgot… when he had his teeth kicked into his gums didn’t he? Sorry my bad!
JAMMSNEW BDSIR NETWORK

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.

Monday Night Raw #1223, October 31, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

…and, NEW! WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION WOMEN’S CHAMPION, CHARLOTTE FLAIR!

sasha-ass

AAAH SHIIIIIIIIIIIID!!!! Can’t lie, my jaw dropped, and not because Sasha’s @$$ was getting exposed in that cell for all you saddos to get your hardon over…

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news… how the backside does a jabroni from Cambridge come all the way down to Walsall and farce up himself with an interview with Scott Hall? Taking up mine and the Express & Star’s time? No one invited his b!tch @$$. There WILL be the very short interview with myself and the bad guy this weekend on STC From The UK – BDSIR NETWORK – The Best Damn Show In Radio!

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RAW 1223! It’s Halloween! The one night in the year where Paige looks normal. But we ain’t gonna see that stupid b!tch! GRANT BODY-P!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

No f**k!n about! Goldberg is coming out NOW!!!!

They booing Brock Lesnar now though! and Heyman is straight up shutting this promo down!

Goldberg looks like he wants to spear Heyman all the way to hell!

Heyman still throwing shots at Undertaker’s streak! Damnit!

NO! BROCK IS HERE???? Aaaaah look at Heyman laughing… will he be laughing in a hospital facility nearby?

No Brock… but Rusev???? OH BOY… he’s gonna be NEXT!!!!

NO! I KNOW RUSEV DID NOT TRY TO LICK DOWN GOLDBERG?!!!!!!!!!!

JACKHAMMER TO RUSEV – BLAOW!!!!

…AND A SPEAR TO HEYMAN – BLAOW!!!!!! LAWWWWD HAVE MERCY!!!!!!

What the rarse is Byron Saxton and Corey Greaves wearing?????? The Infamous Informer is not down with this Halloween sheeeeeeeet! And now Enzo is fighting one o the members of the Balding club in a trick or street fight match???? Oh hell to the no! Actually it might be jokes I won’t knock it!

Enzo Amore looks even more of an idiot in that Toy Story sheeeeeeet! I am the grinch of Halloween… if that makes any sense!

The Balding Club just got f**ked up by 35 pumpkins…wow… the WWE have truly f**ked up what was meant to be the baddest stable in New Japan Pro Wrestling history..Yo Vincent Kennedy – why you hate on these guys? What did they do to deserve this????

Meanwhile… they called the ambulance to pick up Paul Heyman… I have a question – will Dr. Goldberg visit him and hit him over the head with a bed pan and stick  dutty big needle up his @$$????

GRANT BODY-P!

Now with Kendrick as the new World Wrestling Federation Cruiserweight Champion we should get some joke now…told you guys – quality wrestling matches is NOT ENOUGH!

TJ Perkins: THE GRANT SAYS THIS TO YOU: If Kendrick tries to teef, simply pause the game, enter UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, Y,B,X,A.You should hear the ring bell if you did it right. Then TJ Perkins, you should have infinite lives! Now say ‘Thank you GamesMaster’!

GRANT BODY-P!

Aaaaah sh!t TJ Perkins bex because Kendrick walked out the match! So he attempts to break his legs! Talk about salty! That’s like sending hate mail online!

Braun Strowman seeks better competition! He finally gonna get it! Winner of the battle royal will be in Team Raw against Team Smackdown at the Survivor Series! So he best win that muthaf***a!

WWE win whole heap of awards! Congratulations! Shame we the fans couldn’t see you get those awards….moving on!

Oh dear… Foley wasn’t feeling the antics of Kevin Owens and Jericho! They were ultimate teef! But the list is in Jericho’s hand! THIS IS NOT GOOD!

Oh that’s f**ked up! Foley’s career ended in Hartford Connecticut! And Jericho & Owens are letting Foley know about the GREAT TRIPLE H!!!

Foley admits to needing JeriKO for TEAM RAW, but also puts his trust in Mr RR himself, the man who wrestling sheep love to hate! The man the women want to drop squats on his d-

GRANT BODY-P!

HAHAHAHAHA! The crowd chanting Roman Sucks but Foley says ‘his wife loves him’!

Roman was gonna dress as a stupid idiot for Halloween but they didn’t have any Jericho costumes!GRANT BODY PHENOM

I thought Roman was going on the list! I thought we were all going on the list! Look what happen now! Roman fights Jericho for the World Wrestling Federation US Championship!

I don’t understand why everyone is rushing Titus O’Neill instead of Braun Strowman???? Foolish move if you ask me!

It’s down to Strowman and Sami Zayn? The crowd is behind Zayn but Vincent Kennedy is behind Strowman (PAUSE!)

Zayn tried! God damnit he tried! Team Raw only needs one more person in their team! They got Jericho, Owens, Braun, Roman, smart money says Mr Rollins!

The Smackdown team hasn’t assembled yet but going by the knowledge we have now – AJ Styles has gotta be in the team surely! I expect Ziggler to be in the team too! I think it’s safe to say that the titles may not be on the line at this PPV!

WHOA!!!!! THE NEW DAY HAVE DRESSED UP AS PAPA SHANGO, KAMA MUSTAFA AND THE GODFATHER! So wait, where the hos at? SORT IT OUT!!!!

They need to get a Francesca III too!

Wait a minute – didn’t we have this 6 man tag team cruiserweight match at the PPV? No No No I need the toilet… soon come…

Ok I’m back now… look who it is – it’s Miss sexy legs herself – Charlotte! 3-time champion already… she might hit 16 times before John Cena!!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m glad Charlotte called out every woman on Smackdown apart from my NAOMI… because she knows Naomi will BUSS HER ARSE!!!!!

Team RAW as far as the women ill be interesting… I mean, who they got? Charlotte, Bayley, Dana… and that’s it??????? No Paige, Sasha might make it still… hold on – NIA JAX… THAT BOTTOM…AND THE BREASTS!!!!! Let’s show appreciation to this sexy @$$ straight away!

nia_jax-0-0

Is it me or is Bayley stumbling on her promo?????

Talking of that BOTTOM…AND THE BREASTS!!!! Here she is! Nia Jax gonna destroy Bayley! Kill her…. KILL HER!!!!!!!!

Charlotte is right – THIS ISN’T NXT ANYMORE! This is the World Wrestling Federation! Where the big girls play!

I can see you guys looking at the Infamous Informer funny…. big girls need love too… and they got nothing to lose! They will give you the ride of your life! Sometimes those skinny gyal ain’t the one! You want that meat… nah mean!

GRANT BODY-P!

UH-OH! If Jericho defeats Roman Reigns, he’s gonna turn te US Title into the Canadian Title! Since my woman is Canadian… I know who I’m backing!

Should have known Kevin Owens was gonna teef… but could Rollins reunite with his former Shield bredrin??? Oh my days yes he has!!!! The crowd chanting for The Shield!!!! They were booing Reigns like 10 minutes ago! Fickle fools!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Respect to the infamous Informer for the use of his scribings once again.

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Monday Night Raw #1211, August 8, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

DON’T GIVE ME JOKE!

So Puff Daddy is producing the soundtrack for the new game… I saw the track listing and it looks like this:

  • Action Bronson & Joey Bada$$ (feat. Rico Love) – “What About The Rest Of Us”
  • Anderson .Paak – “Come Down”
  • Andy Black – “We Don’t Have To Dance”
  • Axwell Λ Ingrosso – “This Time”
  • Black Sabbath – “Paranoid”
  • Bring Me The Horizon – “Run”
  • FIDLAR – “Drone”
  • French Montana (feat. Kojak Black) – “Lockjaw”
  • iSHi (feat. French Montana, Wale, & Raekwon) – “We Run”
  • P. Diddy, Black Rob & Mark Curry – “Bad Boy For Life”
  • Travis Barker & Yelawolf – “Out of Control”
  • Twenty One Pilots – “Ride”
  • Yellow Claw (feat. Lil Eddie) – “We Made It”

THE GRANT SAYS: Four things – 1, I’m interested to hear the Anderson Paak track. 2, I can confirm that the Action Bronson track ‘What About The Rest Of Us’ is a great track which was played on our very own RePPiN4U HIP HOP SHOW. 3, Wu-Tang fans gonna be mad as f**k when they find out Raekwon has collaborated with Wale & French Montana, not the first time Raekwon has sought commercial appeal, and 4 – Bad Boy 4 Life is automatically the best tune on the soundtrack! AND THAT’S THE TRUTH!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news: Did you see the Rio Olympic opening ceremony? Or more importantly – Did you see ANITTA?!!! The Grant Says – JENNIFER LOPEZ – MOVE YUH BACKSIDE! FIGURATIVELY  AND LITERALLY!

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RAW 1211! Why don’t they let the Infamous Informer do the hip hop side of the soundtrack and a rock soundtrack by a STC Member???

WWF PROPA TINGZ

What’s 10x better than a 20-minute promo by Triple TEEF? A 20 minute promo by Enzo & Cass! Now I feel sorry for Enzo here, because he was bussin skillz with Sasha last week…. then next minute we find out she got married! Sasha that’s cold baby girl!

Yes you cannot please everybody… I see a select few who are not feeling these two! I say HAND IN YOUR WRESTLING CARD! You attitards mean to tell me that you love everything that Road Dogg & Billy Gunn did back then but don’t rate this? YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. SERIOUSLY. GIVE ME YOUR CARD. YOU’RE DONE.

What we are seeing are four guys in Enzo & Cass, Jericho & Owens with top-notch mic skills! They are most likely to clash at the Summerslam joint!

Reading the twitter feed while  Jericho and Enzo are settling ‘It’, that is a good name – ‘JeriKO’… I can ride to that but only for this feud right here. I don’t want them to team for the long haul as Kevin Owens is too good for that. If he does I will compl… wait.. I’m NOT THAT GUY… I DON’T DO DRUGS!

The question remains – is Kevin Owens aware that Puff Daddy is in the building? Answers on a postcard please or tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

Jericho – how long have you been in the game – a good 20 years at best right? So why you thought you won when you clearly didn’t hear Enzo tap or the ref call that he passed out?

They say Big Cass had ‘no choice’ but to kick down Jericho… er yes he did…. Kevin Owens was interfering, so would it not make sense for Big Cass to kick down Kevin Owens????

OH NO! Rusev is gonna rub it in to the 40-year-old virgins of the WWE Universe that he’s banging Lana on a regular now he’s put a ring on it! If I was Rusev I’d rub it in too, and wish them another 40 years of getting no pu$$y!

GRANT BODY-P!

While Braun Strowman beats on another CAW from WWE2K17, I’ll take this time to talk about my newest crush, the Brazilian singer Anitta… see this gir….. what the match finish already? Oh OK! I’ll promise you guys a pic of this chick who in my opinion is out to dethrone J-LO!

Wait a minute – Puff Daddy is inviting Mick Foley & The Family to the Bad Boy Tour??? Mick got good taste in music – he asked if Faith Evans gonna be there! YES MICK you just scored points from me! Just for you, here’s one of my favourite Faith Evans tunes!

When this tune used to drop in the club back in the day, your Infamous Informer would brukk out! Women would challenge him on the dance floor… aaaah the memories…

Darren Young & Titus O’Neill are fighting again so I’ll continue my stories of my past clubbing career… I remember my ex from Preston… she said to me after the club that while I disappeared to the big man’s room, women approached her and told her how ‘lucky’ she was she got me… Well THE GRANT SAYS – all you women lose because I long retired from the clubbing scene and I have a woman who loves me as much as I love her! Go back to your ‘bad boys and wannabe thugs’ who treat you wrong because that’s what you like right???

GRANT BODY-P!

Finally – someone worth watching! The Great Seth Rollins!

Er yeah Seth – Finn Balor is right – you was playing Pokemon Go, (and maybe taking selfies of your todger) while everybody else had to fight for the spot… suddenly I’m not feeling this promo… I know he’s supposed to get me invested in his fight with Finn Balor but.. I dunno Seth! Try again kid!

Sheamus Vs Cesaro???? Did we have this match like – last week? YES WE DID! Oh lawwd… Mick Foley you are slipping on your commissioner skills!

So while they fight let me hit you off with the Smack Talk Centre’s official theme for Summerslam, a lot better than that Flo-Rida crap let me tell ya!

I love both Sheamus and Cesaro.. but it’s like, fans say they could watch Sami Zayn & Kevin Owens feud for months… I can’t say the same for these two…

Oh man they have built this contest good eh? Randall Vs Brock Lesnar… it’s true, there’s no history between the two other than they trained at OVW, and they both became the youngest World Wrestling Federation champion… Brock is right – Randall ain’t sh!t compared in terms of accomplishments, don’t forget – Brock did what Randall failed to do at WrestleMania, but let’s not get into that! That alone puts Brock in a league of his own. Brock is a machine, but Randall has voices in his head which makes him borderline psycho… what do you think guys?!!!

Can’t lie to ya – these wrestling matches are boring me this week… just thrown together, some of them are repeats from last week… no storyline or nothing…taht’s not like me – normally I find a positive outlook on RAW… perfect time to talk about my new crush – Anitta…

See here I was watching the Rio Olympics opening ceremony, when suddenly this woman graces my screen… when I tell you my jaw dropped and my Johnson stood at attention…

anitta-fala-sobre-ter-cantado-nas-olimpiadas

I thought – what a sexy gyal! WHAT A WOMAN! Then I took to YouTube and Twitter to find out more… YO THIS GYAL IS BAAAAAAAAAAAD PEOPLE! This woman can and will end your career if she twerks on you!

Ok this segment should give me the most joke! Let’s get back to Infamous Informer mode with this wedding ceremony between Rusev & Lana Machka!

Lana’s wedding dress though!!! she’s not supposed to show that much leg is she???? Hey I’m not complaining!

The question remains – will those two terrible singers come out to sing like they did for Triple and Stephanie?! Answers on a postcard please!

Rub it in guys! I’m just waiting for Roman Reigns to f**k it all up!

OH SNAP – The crowd chanting BORING!!!!! Oh my days!!! Yo Roman where you at rude boy?

Wait a minute – Roman Reigns gonna be the Best Man? Hold up – you know what that Best Man film is about don’t you???

Where has Reigns got these super mic skills from??? This is what I mean! Let Roman be Roman!!! He’s throwing shots left and right here!!!!

Rusev can’t take this sh!t – he goes and attacks Reigns! And look what happen – Rusev bumps into Lana and her face meets the wedding cake! NOW she looks magically delicious!

GRANT BODY-P!

Ok this is what I came to see! Sasha, Dana Brooke, Charlotte, you three sexy @$$£$ steal the show! Show dem how fi do it!Grant BODY RIO

Confirmed – Charlotte was champ for 309 days and never made a big deal about it…

See I would have seen the match, but my woman called me.. oh well, I could turn off RAW at this point, but NO… I don’t half @$$ my blogs to you wonderful people!

WROOOOOOOY!!!! OK that’s the best segment on RAW this week – Finn Balor’s promo on Seth Rollins, breaking down the legend of his name!!! Now THAT is how to get invested!!! Followed by another video promo by the Bullet Club who have ow discovered an epidemic called ‘ringpostitis’… LADIES! You do not want a man who suffers from that condition!

Even with Big E down, that doesn’t stop The New Day’s power of positivity… well apart from Luke Gallows… oh no they gonna give Kofi Kingston a case of RingPostItis – but Xavier Woods is like – f**k that – I will beat this chair into your chrome dome! (no chair shots to the head Grant) FOR REAL? Well kick the Bullet Club in their cratches then!

Yes, RAW wasn’t supposed to focus on the GMs, but Vincent Kennedy did also say – ‘even if you break the law’, and the crowd seem to love Danny Bryan!

I don’t get it – why would Rusev interrupt this segment right here? He looks dressed to fight! He can’t crush Danny Bryan? Has he gone insane? Cesaro – you are going about this the wrong way! Yes you would get a championship opportunity if you beat Sheamus last week, but the US TITLE was not what the IWC had in mind!!!!

Talking of Sheamus – he tried to teef!!! Cesaro hit the neutralizer super move but the ref was down! Cesaro had the match won!

Sheamus f**ked it up for Cesaro… well the Grant says.. RAW was boring this week, slow-paced, I thought Sasha, Dana and Char- Roman Reigns with a spear to Rusev at the end of the match – BLAOW!!!!

Ok as I was saying… RAW only started to get better 2.5 hours later in the show… that’s not good enough cretins! The quicker you get your cruiser weight jump off going the better.

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1209, July 25, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

…And STILL!!! WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION, DEAN AMBROSE!

I was wondering why the internet was so quiet, but I’m glad you guys finally got your Shield orgy… CAN WE MOVE ALONG NOW PLEASE?

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news… I’m still without internet, (Or electric or food for that matter) so this blog is based on the highlights of RAW… so I warn you now, eating a snickers WILL NOT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!

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It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, and it’s a new era…. For me!!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

When in doubt, blame Reigns…. look at his face – he looks like he wants to hit a superman punch in Stephanie’s mouth! That’s why there’s no champion on RAW folks! Seriously Roman Reigns I have a new theme song for you… I’ll unleash it later…

BACKSIDE! So there’s two Fatal4Way matches. winner faces each other in the main event on RAW, winner of that faces Seth Rollins at Summerslam for the Universal Championship? Wait – that means Seth can go out and play Pokemon Go while these guys battle it out?

GRANT BODY-P!

Trust me – if Roman Reigns came down to this… He’d get over ONE TIME!

FOR REAL? They gonna put on my girl Nia Jax now? YES! Oh lawd she just shown that poor girl how to do it… When that turkey thigh of Nia’s lands on your t!tt!£$ there should be a Mortal Kombat X-ray effect word up!

FATAL4WAY JUMP OFF! Cesaro VS Finn Balor Vs Kevin Owens Vs Rusev!

WORD!!!! Rusev positions himself underneath Balor & Owens, turns a superplex into a massive powerbomb off the top! Cesaro, Balor and Owens mash-up!

In the end, Balor hits the Coup de grace on Rusev! Spread your arms out people – Balor advances!

Second FATAL4WAY JUMP OFF! Roman Reigns Vs Sami Zayn Vs Chris Jericho Vs Sheamus!

See this is why I can NEVER boo Roman Reigns and why I keep it 100… doing that Undertaker like move over the top ropes crashing on Sheamus, Zayn and Jericho, it just tells me that YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. All Y’all are sheep, gotta catch Pokémon zombies!

GRANT BODY-P!

Y2J Hoping to give Reigns the gift of Jericho and drink it in, dashes for him – Reigns jumps over him showing great agility, comes off the ropes – spear – BLAOW!!!! Reigns advances! Haters shut the f**k up!

Thank god those stupid outcasts are no more… they were my bathroom break word up! Enter Mr irrelevant – Curtis Axel… yep that sounds about right – mash him up Neville!

He calls himself that because he was the last pick in the draft… if it is any consolation Curtis your friend Heath Slater is still sitting there in the draft room waiting to be picked!

Heath Slater unpicked

Look at the state of his eye god dayuuuuuum! That must have been a mean uppercut from DEEBO!

“NEGATIVITY WON’T AFFECT US, CLAP ‘CAUSE IT’S INFECTIOUS…” – The New Day

Well THE GRANT SAYS Xavier you did look kinda shook from the Wyatts! But hey, I’ll play along… New Day longest reigning tag team champions! it’s a celebration! B!TCHES – Show the New Day your t!tt!£$!

OH MY DAYS they added the clip with Triple & Stephanie twerking! DON’T GIVE ME JOKE!

WHO WANTS TO BE AN HONORARY MEMBER OF THE NEW DAY? As much as I love them, it’s not gonna be The Infamous Informer you know why? The Infamous Informer is a man of pride, and the Infamous Informer does not TWERK!

(he will whine up against a kriss gyal and make the wallpaper strip though….)

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO!!!! The Bullet Club have come for the New Day or more so, their W….W….E… WORLD…. TAG…. TEAM… CHAMPIONSHIPS!

They hit the Magic Killer on BIG E – BLAOW!!!!

Now it’s just hit me what could possibly happen… but I gotta see how SmackDown plays out first…

NO NOT THE HONORARY NEW DAY MEMBER!!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE! HE DID NOTHING TO YOU! See this is the part where Jim Ross would normally go off on one! Because that man has a family who loves him!

They spat in the New Day shirts And threw them at the dude! DISRESPECT! If that was me I would have jumped over the barricade and throwing lefts and rights! I KNOW WING CHUN IP MAN KUNG FU!

GRANT BODY -P!

What has Braun Strowman done to his headtop? And when did local competitors from WWE LIVEWIRE get drafted on RAW? Answers on a postcard please! Tweet me at @MZATheInfamous!

Yo WWE – I heard Enzo & Cass quoted my boys (Wu-Tang) in their promo again this week! So why you showing me highlights of their match with the Shining Stars? Their highlights are the promos they drop! FIX UP!!!!!!

Charlotte must defend her title against Sasha Banks! A lot sooner than I imagined! I was hoping for a Summerslam jump off!

With the Universal Championship about to jump off, are we gonna have the same for the tag titles and women’s championship on Smackdown?

OH SNAP! Charlotte with the women’s title in Sasha’s face like ‘ you will never have this!’ Sasha kicked it out her hand and rushed her.. LIKE A BOSS!GRANT BODY PHENOM

Sasha using the Eddie Guererro LIE CHEAT & STEAL TECHNIQUE! She threw the belt at Dana, Sasha throws herself on the floor like she got clocked in the head with the belt, the referee throws Dana out the building!!!! Sasha killin the full set of teet!!!

UNBELIVABLE! Charlotte jumps off top ropes, reverse moonsault and takes Sasha down!

Wait a minute, Charlotte goes for the cover… on the outside? This isn’t falls count anywhere is it? If not – why you IWC fools not clowning her like you did Cameron when she pinned Naomi’s t!tt!£$ on the mat????

GRANT BODY-P!

OH SNAP! SASHA GOT THE BANK STATEMENT SUPER MOVE ON CHARLOTTE! It’s curtains for her now!!!!

SASHA BANKS – NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION WOMEN’S CHAMPION!!!!

Roman Reigns Vs Finn Balor! Winner faces Seth Rollins at Summerslam!

Roman starts the match off aggressively here, throws Balor around the ring like a rag doll! Clubbing him in the corner! What a vicious, violent side to Roman Reigns here!

Finn Balor is playing counter technique! He has to out manuever the big man!

Reigns going for the Razor’s Edge Powerbomb but gets countered into a pinning predicament!

GOOD LORD! Reigns counters into one powerbomb, still holding on into a sit-down powerbomb! THIS IS THE MAN YOU BOO??? I PITY YOU… SERIOUSLY!

Balor kicks out and Reigns is smiling about it!!! There’s plenty of fight left in the kid!

Balor gaining momentum! Jumps off top ropes – hits the coup de grace – BLAOW!!!

1,2 AND….. BUMBACLART!!!! FINN BALOR IS GOING TO SUMMERSLAM! Where’s the Summerslam logo so he can point to it?!!!!!! And it was his birthday too! Imagine all that on his debut in the main roster!

SPREAD YOUR ARMS PEOPLE! THIS IS HUGE! Just when the IWC were jerking off from the Shield orgy from Battleground, they must have blasted their semen with this one! ONE MUTHAF***A DON’T LIKE IT – VINCE RUSSO… Just wait til STC FROM THE UK on BDSIR NETWORK THIS WEEKEND… I’m gonna BURN HIS SOUL LIKE ETHER!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1200, May 23, 2016!!!

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT TO ROMAN REIGNS HATERS: Put your hand in your pocket. Pull out your wallet and open it up. See your wrestling card next to your bank card? Take it out and give it to me. YOU ARE A F**K!N FOOL – OK! Roman Reigns and AJ Styles put on a war. The Miz steps up his game against Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens & Cesaro. Dana Brooke combines her force with Charlotte. The Bullet Club brukk up the Usos. Jericho calls you fans ‘stupid idiots’ after finds himself in a bed of thumb tacks, Rusev near broke Kalisto in half. Seth Rollins has come back for his championship belt. And there you are STILL COMPLAINING. F**k out my face like Man Utd said to Van Gaal!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news, I shed no tears. Since both Cody and Adam Rose asked for their releases, I wish them well, as I won’t miss them, I might miss Eden though… just a little bit…

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RAW #1200! As we enter the forbidden battle that is finally about to unfold after 3 years on the making… Roman Reigns Vs Seth Rollins!

LET’S START THIS SH!T BALTIMORE! SETH ROLLINS IN THE HIZ-HOUSE!

Uh-oh he has a point! You muthaf***az were cussing out Rollins while he was champion… called him wWWF PROPA TINGZeak, a coward, hiding behind the authority… but you missed him right? If Seth switches on you… OH SH!T HE HAS!!!! All your fan mail got set on fire! See that’s what happens when you don’t keep it real jabronies! The Infamous Informer is the realest ninja alive, THAT’S OFFICIAL!

Here’s my dude  Roman Reigns!!! he didn’t say a rarse and now Shane is here! At least let me eat my peanuts yo!

THE HOT MONEY IN THE BANK JUMP OFF! Roman Reigns the champion! Seth Rollins the challenger, WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

MUNNY INNAH BANK QUALIFYING JUMP OFF! Sami Zayn vs Sheamus… one of them gonna be in the match… I love Sheamus but Sami Zayn – your time now!

The Brogue kick is NO MATCH for the Helluva kick!!! Sami advances!!! Sheamus is in the dustbin this year!

For real Sheamus? You just gonna beat on my dude Apollo Uhaa  for no reason? you have an iron clad respect from me but you don’t beat on my dude! But wait – didn’t I say that Crews & Sheamus would clash a few weeks ago??? I suggest you check out my past blogs on Cage Amateurs UK or on Fox Sports 1340am!

Er New Day…. it’s not RAW’s birthday… I mean, we celebrating 1200 episodes I understand that… but RAW’s birthday is the same as the Infamous Informer’s birthday – January 11!!!! I turned 13 that day RAW started! Do your googles wrestling fans!

I AM THE REALEST NINJA ALIVE THAT’S OFFICIAL!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!! | RePPiN 4U

…and then there were three!!! I predicted at least one of those Social Outcast muthaf***az would be fired!!!

OH NO! They got Heath Slater’s b!tch @$$ with the birthday cake!!! That’s what he gets for trying to ruin sh!t for the New Day!

MUNNY INNAH BANK QUALIFYING JUMP OFF! The Miz with his annoying @$$, vs Cesaro!!! Maryse stop your noise and get this d!ck in your mouth!!

GRANT BODY-P!

The Miz getting uppercutted in his jaw bone from pillar to post! FROM PILLAR TO POST!!! That’s it Cesaro – KILL HIM!!!!

Cesaro is killing Miz with so much uppercuts, that Maryse may have to sing that tune by  Obie Trice – you gotta have some teeth!

Ceasro qualifies! I should bloody think so after all those uppercuts! Hey – anybody seen Obie Trice? Real name no gimmicks??? ANSWERS ON A POSTCARD PLEASE!!! TWEET ME @MZATheInfamous!

Seth – I don’t blame you for wanting to hug Stephanie!!! The girl was in my dreams last week though did I tell you? She was all up on me, feeling on The Grant’s Strudel… she and Eva Marie??? I still haven’t figured out what that dream meant… it will manifest soon I’m sure of it!

MUNNY INNAH BANK QUALIFYING JUMP OFF! You mean to tell me Apollo Crews is still out here smiling and sh!t after he got ambushed by Sheamus for no reason?? Come on WWE come better than this! Anyway I would like to see Crews win but I’d rather Jericho get through so that Crews can mash-up Sheamus… in other words…

WHOEVER LOSES… I WIN!!!

Excellent – Jericho hit the Codebreaker super move on Crews… now Crews can deal with Sheamus!

Ketch Sheamus watching the match! He likes that sh!t!

AAAAH SHEEEEEEEET!!! Now THAT’S A RETURN!!! F**K ROLLINS – It’s all about Enzo Amore!!! HOW YOU DOIN MY G???!!!

While Big Cass puts the beats on Bubba Ray Dudley… here’s a pic of Eden… FOR NO REASON!

eden

Dana Brooke got t!tt!£$, Charlotte got legs… and there is that dastardly Ric Flair! This is what I’ve come to see! Where’s my ice cream???!!!

Sorry Dana, you can’t walk down the ramp in those heels! I figured it out what is so sexually

appealing about Charlotte! I have a thing about tall women.. I always have… and I’m 6 ft 3!

How is the crowd gonna chant ‘boring’ to Ric Flair??? So disrespectful!GRANT BODY PHENOM

WHOA!!!! Charlotte turned on her father???? I get it – it was
YOU who said Charlotte is too much like her father and they should split up… unbelievable! Ric Flair is crying and sh!t! She just said – “you are dead to me” to Ric Flair! I’m not sure I can continue this blog! Even Charlotte has joined the Flair Files! THIS IS ALL SHAD’S FAULT!!!

MUNNY INNAH BANK QUALIFYING JUMP OFF! Deano vs Ziggler! Deano all the way here!

So the storyline goes that Corbin is all about ruckus, and he’s not down with the technical wrestling matches… Ziggler wants to show him the beauty of a technical wrestling match… sounds like jabs and right hooks at the IWC if you ask me!

Ambrose advances to the MITB! Talking of the IWC… their dream could be realised as all three former Shield members could all collide… personally I think it’s corny but hey, whatever makes you happy right?

THEY DON’T WANT NONE!!! I think Kevin Owens wants some! MUNNY INNAH BANK QUALIFYING JUMP OFF!

AJ Styles gives Roman props!!! I bet you don’t like that right? Well you haven’t been in the ring with him – so SHUT THE F**K UP!

Sheeeet…. The Bullet Club is done too??? Styles is gonna do him and Gallows & Anderson gonna do them? Ok this has changed everything!!! Hey Wardle – we need to chat!

Oh my days that was brilliant! Mike Cole doing his job and Kevin Owens is like “Shut up Cole I can hear you!!!!”

The first powerbomb onto the steel steps may have sealed Styles fate… because the second pop up powerbomb got Owens into the MITB match! 5 guys in! 2 slots to fill! Who is going in! best tune into Smackdown!

Well you guys can… I got better things to do than watching wrestling all blodclart day!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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Monday Night Raw #1197, May 2, 2016

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

you’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own!!!!

I stand before you a man with a headache. You know those headache’s you actually enjoy, because you just celebrated history been made. Leicester’s premiership victory was like the Karate Kid fairytale. It was like the Redman & Method Man concert in Birmingham O2 Institute last week. It was like The Undertaker when he hit 21-0 against CM Princess Peach B!tch… (the sweetest streak victory in my opinion!) You know the women of Leicester are getting the most sex this week!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news, Roman Reigns is STILL your World Wrestling Federation Champion! And oh yeah – SHUDDUP!

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RAW #1197! By the way did I mention The Ryback is my favourite wrestler now??? HAHAHAHAHA GRANT BODY-P!

WWF PROPA TINGZStephanie you sexy as f**k but what’s in the bag? You bought the Infamous Informer something? a PS4 with Street Fighter V? You’re too kind!

Oh it’s for Shane… oh snap it’s that picture frame that Vincent Kennedy broke! Sheeeet – hang it up Shane (the picture that is!)

I don’t exactly understand why Kevin Owens wants to re-focus on the Intercontinental Championship… at the same time, I understand that Money Innah Bank soon come.

Where are the Gucci shoes Mr Cesaro??? Aaah sh!t he makes a case about been screwed out the Intercontinental Championship! LET’S DO THIS SH!T! Winner becomes #1 contender!

Don’t start the match yet – let me grab my pizzas from out the oven!

Oh dear – if The Miz & Maryse are gonna be so annoying at ringside, then no wonder Kevin Owens and Cesaro had to uppercut the glasses off Miz’s Money Maker! Sami Zany gets involved, then holds the Intercontinental Title in the air, and the spirit of Danny Bryan is felt in St Louis!

Meanwhile…Stephanie McMahon is seen flirting with Deano… and in the Ambrose Asylum… she says Deano can ask her anything… ANYTHING??? Deano rustling his hands like ‘now you’re talking’! GOD DAYUUUUUM! The first question I’d ask her.. is ‘can I get some pu$$y???’

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh hell naw they gonna team R-Truth with Tyler Battybwoy? I’m surprised Goldust doesn’t fancy him… Oh no he found a tag team partner… what a downgrade… Fandango went from Summer Rae… to an upgrade in Layla (which I might add – got Fandango on my bad side eternally) to Rosa Mendes, to Goldust???? This is the part where I take a long sheeeeet!

You can watch this video while I’m gone…

Yeah I know… random…

Due to Enzo being shut down temporarily, Big Cass becomes a New Day member for the week! That is cool! Now beat down these Vaudevillian fools! (the Dudley Boyz are not fools though…) It is a real shame that the tournament sponsored by Booty-Os got shut down like that.

This match is cool but where’s my favourite wrestler – The Ryback????!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

You know it would have been a mark out moment if Roman Reigns said ‘The question is, can the three of you take on the three of us?’ And instead of the Usos, Rollins and Ambrose appeared… but that can wait!

Oh snap! I wasn’t gonna write about this but Emma defeated Becky Lynch! WHOA! They are really changing sh!t up aren’t they!GRANT BODY PHENOM

HERE WE GO!!!!! This is what I came to see! Nope – not Ric Flair – not the Ryback – but the Ambrose Asylum! Do us proud Deano! Ask Steph the dirtiest questions!!!

Maybe he won’t… I mean… Renee Young though… and she wears a B.I.G. t-shirt…

Hmmm why is Stephanie acting so nice all of a sudden???? And is Deano playing mind games here?

Oh snap! Stephanie can’t cancel the Ambrose Asylum???? And she brought back the Highlight reel? But Steph – Jericho cusses you on a regular basis! Er… I don’t understand this!

FOR REAL! Titus O’Neill is back! He won’t touch Vincent Kennedy again! And there’s no League of Nations! and Baron Corbin enters the arena! There’s my champion! It would have been Titus but…

Battle Royal US title jump off! Winner fights Kalisto!

Hold up – Apollo Crews is in there! Er… I change my pick!

Wait a minute – Corbin is eliminated by Ziggler, and Apollo Crews eliminated by Sheamus… that makes things interesting!

Oh dear! Zack Ryder getting stamped out by the… can I call em League of Nations??? I could for about 20 seconds!

Ryder & Rusev – last guys in the battle royal! COME ON RUSEV! Don’t let this fool win! Rusev has DONE IT! Here comes Lana with her sexy @$$! Get back the title and start the second reign of terror!

Calling it now – Rusev defeats Kalisto… then John Cena comes back on Memorial Day because Lana & Rusev start calling the crowd ‘Stupid Americans!’ Just like that – Cena drops the AA on Rusev again and then the John Cena invitational starts again! Remember I told ya!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO! Turns out that Charles Robinson is apart of the Flair family! Lil’ Naitch! TEEEEEEEEF!!! It all comes together now! There’s something about that leggy Charlotte… ah that’s right – it IS her legs! You know I have a weakness for women with long legs! I gotta a song for you Charlotte and your long legs… it goes a lil something like this… bring your sexy legs here…

She keeps looking at me
So now she gon’ get it
She want it
And by the wonderful moaning
That makes a beautiful night, baby
What a beautiful life, baby!

GRANT BODY-P!

Uh oh – somebody is bex! I don’t think Nattie has come out to ch… or maybe she has… oh no she’s out to cuss Ric! Take it easy Nattie!

Why has Ric Flair took off his jacket???!!!! NO! Nattie put Ric in the sharpshooter! Watch his ticker! Because when the clock goes tick…

I smell an I Quit match between Nattie & Charlotte at the Extreme Rules joint! Don’t you!

Ok – I can ryde to a submission match… but Ric Flair banned from ringside? No Stephanie that’s preposterous! You need to re-think this!

Ok main event jump off! The Roman Empire Vs The Bullet Club! AAHHH SH!T It’s about to go down!

Bullet Club wins the ruckus! But Styles ain’t tryna use the steel chair! But he used it on the Usos! Roman saw it! Oh dear Styles you gonna get f**ked up!

OH SNAP!!! Roman sets Styles up, powerbomb through the table! BLAOW!!!! GOOD LORD! You don’t f**k with Roman’s fam!

Roman haters I put this to you… If you saw somebody beating on your family, would you or would you not snap and beat out that person’s blodclart? If you still boo Roman – YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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