Smack Talk Centre-Raw
Last night I cried Tears Of Joy, What did I do to deserve this?
I’m the Infamous Informer, and I have NO sympathy, NO compassion, NO remorse…welcome to the RAW After Big BIG WrestleMania… can you believe that after the best WrestleMania since X-Seven, we still had grumpy muthaf***az pointing out flaws… you know what, hand in your muthaf***!n WWE card, OK? You not down with the team, and you are only proving to me that it was all about the muthaf***!n attitude era. Sit over there, and watch your Peter Handre bullsh!t on ITV2… you are nothing but a B!TCH!!!
RAW AFTER MANIA: HOL’DAT BLAOW!!!
OOOOHHHHH SH!!!!!T!!!! This man can’t be happy… Brock Lesnar with no title round his waist…. Yo Seth, RUN FOR THE HILLS!
Paul Heyman doesn’t look happy either….
And the crowd chanting SUPLEX CITY!!!! Come on WWE get those merchandising set up! SUPLEX CITY B!TCH!! Do you know how much revenue WWE would make off that alone?
No Heyman! You can’t do that! You would lose a court case on that WWE title sh!t!!! Seth was within his rights to cash his cheque! It was within the one year clause!
Hi Steph! How’s your arm baby girl??? Why is the crowd chanting Ronda Rousey??? HAHAHA! Oh good counter by Stephanie using tricknology to the crowd!
OOOOOH SH!!!!!T! Brock Lesnar is fighting on RAW!!!! Seth, I’m gonna pray for ya….
Dolph Ziggler Vs Danny Bryan for the wrestling fans favourite championship! The same championship STC’s Shadfather calls ‘cursed’!!!!
Great contest! Danny gets the win, HOL’ON! Sheamus is back!! Look at his headtop! Ginger mohawk, beard twiss up, kicking down Dolph & Danny!!!! Why y’all booing? That’s what you wanted right? For Sheamus to turn evil because he went stale???! Gotta rate the crowd though: “YOU LOOK STUPID!!!” I gotta agree! He looks stupid….in a badass way!!!
Hold up – the Lucha Dragons from NXT reppin on RAW???? HELL YEAH THAT IS DAN!!!!!
They are twisting up Cesaro and Kidd! They can’t manage them! They had to retreat one time! Now the crowd chanting ‘New Day Sucks’! OH NO!!!! This is bad! Well not that bad – New Day are being chanted! But there is a solution! #BlackWrestlersMatter
Big up New Day & the Lucha Dragons! Took out the Ascension! They might as well change their name to the Descension because these guys are going down and that’s not cool!
Now they showing vignettes for the kid call Adrian Neville? Ha! new season, new road to WrestleMania 32, and muthaf***az could be future endeavoured!
OH SH!T – Brock just heard Seth Rollins is in the hiz-house…. oh lawd have mercy, I’ma open up my rap bible, and the light will come over the children….
Big up Seth Rollins though, he’s here to compete… a fighting champion!!!! You can’t knock that! Can he send Brock for the Tandem Engine???
Hold on… Rollins is jet lagged? His feet hurt? Oh boy he can see Lesnar is BEX! Seth took my advice! He ran for the hills! J&J security got clotheslined out of their suits! Lesnar pushed over the announce table! JAY-BEE & Booker-T mash-up! Grabs Mike Cole! F5 into the canvas – BLAOW! Grabs the cameraman, Stephanie’s attempt to stop him failed! F5 to the cameraman – BLAOW!!!
OH MY GOD THAT’S ENOUGH!!! THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY DAMNIT!!!
Lesnar suspended indefinitely…. already? He just signed a new contract didn’t he??? OH DEAR!!!
Now we got no commentators! What are we gonna do now? Icy Fresh! Shadfather! Steadx! Get in there and take over!
Stephanie gonna fine him! NO! How is he gonna decorate the kitchen table? Sable can’t be too happy about this??? She gonna starve now!
Damn Bryon Saxton has to run tingz now, and Mizdow is out here on his own fighting Stardust… You know The Miz gonna f**k this up right? With that I’m gonna find the big man room…
…or maybe not! He used the Miz’s supermove??? Bad mistake…. look who’s here, the @$$hole himself – the Miz…crowd chanting @$$hole! This will be a great compelling feud!
Is Curtis Axel still on this bullsh!t? Yo WrestleMania dun!!! Move on!!!
OH SH!!!!!!!T!!!! The man that gravity forgot! The man they call Neville!!!!! (so they dropped the ‘Adrian’ already…) wrestling fans shut the f**k up – he’s still the same NEVILLE!
Guess what… Cena has another new T-Shirt again!!!! God Damnit!!!! I wonder if the true Cena fans have every single shirt ever released? Cena got more T-shirts than Wu-Tang solo albums!!!
I guess the US Spinner title isn’t making a comeback….shame really…
Well it’s an open challenge! Who wants to test John Cena? Rusev? NOPE – Dean Ambrose!!!! I suppose he’s ready to do this considering he mashed up through those ladders at WrestleMania!
God bless Jerry Lawler… Bryon needed help, he can’t do this sh!t alone!
SPOILER ALERT – Cena wins! Still an awesome match, and a show of respect… fans don’t like that… the fans don’t like anything!!!
Now Seth Rollins has mouth now that Brock has gone to…. pay those bills so to speak…. but he must have forgotten about Randall… who actually brukk up his clart at WrestleMania! Clearly Seth ain’t tryna defend his title… fighting champion my crusty foot bottom! Glenn & Big Show got Rollins back… who Randall gonna send for? I can think of Roman… but the fans don’t like him (the fickle idiots…) or what about… oh f**k that – the divas are on!
Well f**k you stupid stream… even you don’t know #AWomansWorth… the stupid sh!t had to freeze up and I missed the match…. had to restart this sh!t – nah they need to put Raw on the muthaf***k!n Network!
Considering this is the RAW after Mania it hasn’t been as good as previous Raw after Mania episodes… at the same time I like that because it’s a slap in the face of the IWC who have a kick out of trashing the biggest show and then looking forward to the Raw after… on that note – f**k you Heelbook… you sons of b!tches!!!!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
Word is Randall got Ryback in his team… the other gotta be Roman Reigns surely!
Note to fans – just because you hate Roman Reigns – don’t get in his face on some bullsh!t – if he pushes you one side – IT’S YOUR FAULT OK! Don’t be a d!ckhead!
Oh dear trouble at the STC – I had to sort out some admin business… so I missed the main event. But hold on!!! Sting is on the WWE Network!!!! OH SH!T…. if what I think happens… I’m gonna mark the f**k out!!!
Sting – I know you heard that chant!!!! Stop trippin!
What the hell is Mr Bo-Lieve doing here???? Dude you are asking for a scorpion death drop super move kid! Turn back!
Well that was disappointing!!! I mean Raw was good but man…. Lesson to be learned – stop taking the p!$$ out of the show of shows. That blasted in your face if you ask me….
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.