Tag Archives: Samoa Joe

Monday Night Raw #1280, December 4, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

F**k talking about WWE right now, it was wack last week. Like Matt Hardy, DELETE LAST WEEK’S BLODCLART!

GRANT BODY-P!

RePPiN4U Overeem

Let’s talk about the YOU – EFF – CEE! Holy smokes! It was a lot better than the card on paper word up. Michelle Waterson & Tecia Torres – OWWWWWW! You two would get it. They opened the show, good fight. Then Alvarez Vs Gaethje SMASHED IT. Gaethje had the match won, but Alvarez… MAXIMUM RESPECT to him. Let’s skip the third fight because let’s be real, they knew they couldn’t follow that match. Then Overeem Vs Ngannou – The Sean Price Punch heard around the world – GOOD LORD! Sean Price would be so proud! Even I turned it into a meme! I DON’T MAKE MEMES! And Max Holloway Vs Jose Aldo… I like Aldo but he was outclassed here…

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RAW 1280! EXCITE ME! HAVE STEPHANIE SUFFER A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION! LET XAVIER WOODS INVADE RAW DURING PAIGE’S MATCH DO SOMETHING!

Steph Raw

Survival kit: Spicy Black pepper crisps, Jaffa Cakes and Drinking chocolate… do you think that’s smart on my part???

And the booing has begun against Jason Jordan! I’m waiting for the crowd to start showing signs saying ‘Die Jason Die’!

I see someone in the crowd with a ‘Paige Marry Me’ sign…you sir have no taste in women, she is a dutty whore, she gives her pu$$y away, and well, if you want to contract aids I guess that’s up to you!

Well Double R did tell Jason Jordan to step up and take the opportunity! And Double J responded with a belly to belly to Double R! I guess NOW he has the big dog’s attention!

Gotta say Jason Jordan is GOING IN against Double R!

Look at Samoa Joe doing the knowledge! Aaaah man!

I’m telling you right now – This Jason Jordan dude – if he keeps this sh!t going – he gonna be champion in 18 months time. This match kinda reminds me of The Rock Vs Kurt Angle back in 2000 and The Rock put him over… you see what I’m saying?

Oh no! Samoa Joe gonna finish the job on a mash-up Double R but Jason Jordan intervened with a suplex to Samoa Joe! But why did Double R drop superman punch to Jordan? Oh yeah – he’s not a good guy, he’s not a bad guy, he’s THE GUY!

GRANT BODY-P!

WHAT A LYRIC! “Like Father Like Son right Kurt?!” Oh snap! making reference to the TNA days!

This ugly rarse… I hope Sasha Banks busses up her clart… but while Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville are at ringside… I’m not sure Sasha can win… unless Mickie James and Bayley steps in… and remember now – they haven’t troubled Nia Jax… or Asuka!

Oh snap! Sasha has brought her back up so that there is no teefing! The girl who is nice to look at but an ugly attitude – Yes I’m talking about Alexa Blitch – is on commentary. I just want Absolution to rush Alexa and beat up her blodclart!

COME ON SASHA! Kick down this b!tch! Talking about its ‘her house’ but you’re THE BOSS LADY! You represent HIP HOP! Don’t let Snoop Dogg be disappointed that you lost to someone who likes death metal!

Damnit! Sasha hit the Bank Statement but Paige reached the ropes! Absolution was ready to teef but Mandy and Sonya were still too strong! Paige recovers and drops the Ram-Paige – BLAOW!

I never noticed this but Sonya – you got no t!tt!£$! You got two backs! Oh no! Well you are getting that WWE money now – upgrade a cup size!

GRANT BODY-P!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ELIAS!!! For the first time – he made me laugh! He told Kurt Angle to put away his cell phone and hold his applause until he has finished! What if that was a McMahon on the phone!

Wicked wow – watch out now – Machine Gun Kelly is performing at Tribute To The Troops… well I won’t be watching that sh!t – CALLING KEVIN OWENS! SORT HIM OUT!

WTF?????? Nia Jax wants a piece of Enzo Amore? WHAT IS THIS? No no no this is not allowed! Shad get in there DO SOMETHING!

NIA SELFIE

You know Shad gonna have MAJOR BEEF with Kevin Dunn & creative now!

Suddenly I’m not interested in this cruiserweight match – I wanna know wha’gwarn with Nia and Enzo! HAHAHA this is gonna be great!

That’s the second time Elias has made me laugh! Did he just point out Machine Gun Kelly and say –‘no one knows who you are’?! FANTASTIC! Respect points gone up!

OH NO! I don’t think Braun Strowman likes that tune! BRAAUUUUUUUUUN!!!!

Elias run garne!!!! Wait there – maybe not – what was he thinking attacking Strowman from behind?

He busted his guitar over Strowman and it had no effect! That time he tried to run and he got ketch! Running powerslam – BLAOW!

I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!

HOLD UP – My hero Kane is back! His crushed larynx has recovered!

He says they gonna clash next week… but where’s the stipulation at? Buried alive? Inferno? Even Mike Cole is asking!

Is Alicia Fox ready for Asuka? I dunno… she isn’t all there in her head!

The real question is – Is Asuka ready for the Infamous Informer?? Hey Asuka – Wait til you see my Heihachi Mishima sword!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh no – these three idiots again… and it hurts me to say that about Sonya and Mandy…

They gonna kill Foxy! Ah well… I’m gonna miss her…GRANT WWDJC2

Paige loves Alicia… NO YOU DON’T…

Alicia – your legs did not run like last time! They turned into jelly and sh!t!

“The ramblings of a mad man…” I can’t believe Bray Wyatt said that about #Woken Matt Hardy… what de rarse?!!!! So hold up – he’s gonna delete Bray Wyatt? He might as well – Wyatt ain’t done sh!t!

GRANT BODY-P!

Apologies for not writing about the Tag Team Championship main event… I’m just waiting for the finish…

Sheamus TEEEEEEF! The Shield had the match won! But Sheamus deliberately got The Bar disqualified! But Kurt said – NOT SO EASY! YOU MUST RESTART! Now it’s a NO DQ match! That fool Booker-T doesn’t agree – but they ARE THE BAR right?

Samoa Joe – TEEF!!! He attacked The Shield for no reason! Double R came down to even the odds but by then it was already too late!

A better effort than last week… well done guys, still not up there with recent weeks, but put it this way – I didn’t find my bed halfway through…

 

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Monday Night Raw #1251, May 15, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Indy killer

So there is some sort of indie Vs mainstream wrestling war which rooted between Rip Rogers & Randy Orton… in the middle of it, Will Ospreay, Bubba Ray Dudley and god knows who else. I don’t know about you guys, but I spent the whole weekend playing Street Fighter V for free…

GRANT BODY-P!

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GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1251! IT’S NOT A RUMOUR! Fix Strowman’s elbow… OR ELSE!!!!

Looks like Double R really won this war right? You fans lose again!

Already I’m yawning…. BAD SIGN!

It’s KURRRRRRRRRT!!!! I must ask Jerry Lawler about calling that Armageddon Hell In a Cell….

Kurt – you might as well drop the cell on them because it’s an Extreme Rules Fatal 5 Way match! Winner fights Brock Lesnar! Seth Rollins, Samoa Joe, Bray Wyatt, Finn Balor, and Double R!

Wait – does Double R like that sh!t? Or is it the fans who doesn’t like that sh!t?

Double R believes there should not be a #1 contender! He speaks the truth! He retired The Undertaker! He took Strowman out the game! I wouldn’t argue that but Finn Balor never lost that title! How can you argue that! He beat Double R on his first night! That is true! How can you argue Samoa Joe? Took out Seth Rollins on his first day! Samoa destroys people!

You can argue Bray Wyatt though… he ain’t no face of fear – he loses almost every feud!

As for Seth Rollins – he ‘slayed’ the evil Triple Teef! You can make a case for all 5 – er I mean 4 men!

That is one thing I am so looking forward to when WWE 2K18 drop – Sheamus & Cesaro entrance! Gotta be in my Top 5 entrances right now!

It amuses me that Alicia Fox and Noam Dar appealed against the decision by the ref last week. Yes her shoulders were up and the ref did not see it… but Sasha is only gonna brukk her up again! I gotta rate Alicia for keeping herself relevant though…

Er – what – Alicia Fox won? WHOA!!! I hold my hands up!!!!

Dean Ambrose – The Champion! The Miz – the Challenger! World Wrestling Federation Intercontinetal Championship!

No one’s ever done that! No one has ever kicked out of the Skull Crushing Finale! haha I’m f**k!n with you Miz… your supermove isn’t exactly the Tombstone Piledriver now is it?

GRANT BODY-P!

Maryse tried to teef, and The Miz tried to kick him in his dick…BLOCKED!!! So Ambrose thought – well F**k you! Kick you in your d!ck!!!!

“I thought Miz was trying to hook the inner thigh of Ambrose…” COREY GRAVES DON’T GIVE ME JOKE! A ‘STRONG STYLE INNER THIGH GRAB!!!’

ODB GETTOUTTAHERE

GETTOUTTAHERE!!!!

Oh hell naw – Alexa Bliss – the self proclaimed Goddess… I don’t worship that little pork scratchings!!!! This is the part where I put my pizza in the oven…

I give points where points is due – Alexa Bliss SMASHED THE AUDIENCE! The crowd hitting her with What? Chants during her promo, and Alexa is like ‘Say what again with you are a failure’ and the New Jersey crowd FAILED THE TEST! ‘Exactly!’ New Jersey crowd – YOU ARE A FAILURE! YOU WANNA SLEEP WITH YOUR SISTER LIKE HER NAME IS CERSEI!

Alexa says – Bayley cannot get extreme! Does hugging translate to steel chair shots to the backbone? I guess we gonna find out at the Extreme Rules joint! Alexa gonna lick Bayley down with the kendo stick! OH LAWWWWWWWWWD! I think Bayley gonna cry! Alexa has gone full Harley Quinn! Shout out to everybody getting that Injustice game! I won’t see you online – I’m a Tekken guy!

GRANT BODY-P!

NOW I will put the pizza in the oven…

Unbelivable! The Miz of all people complaining about Deano being teef, and The Miz is one of the biggest TEEFS there is!

Ok – I’m REALLY going to put that pizza in the oven… sorry cruiserweight brothers!

Oh no… CM P**k chants… oh man they REALLY wanna get in Cersei Lannister! Let’s be real – Cersei is fine – she AIN’T MY SISTER!

Cersei Lena headey

Watch STC’s Ed Mulhall try and find nudes of this chick – only to find I have seen her naked ‘sort of’ in Game Of Thrones!

GRANT BODY-P!

(Apparently she was actually pregnant at the time she shot that infamous walk of atonement scene so they got a stunt double…Shame…SHAME! RING THE BELL!)

WHAT? A kendo stick on a pole match for Bayley & Alexa? NO! I think Wardle is right – Vince Russo is back in the creative team! Who let him in?!!!!!

I gotta say I am enjoying RAW this week! Bravo boys and girls! and to think, there’s no Braun Strowman!

Let me watch Finn Balor’s entrance… then I’ll grab my pizza – it should be ready by now!

Oh man… you wrestling fans ain’t gonna like this – a less than 100% Double R defeats Finn Balor in a physical match! In the words of Gordon Ramsay, I say this to you fans… ‘f**k off will ya…’

OH SNAP!!! GOLDUST TURNED EVIL! Looks like Goldust ain’t gonna send any love letters to R-Truth! THE GRANT SAYS – R-Truth – consider yourself lucky! It could have been worse – you could have been Ahmed Johnson!

GRANT BODY-P!

Titus O’Neill is actually giving me joke doing the Enzo routine in a full suit!!!! I’m not too sure if the crowd are chanting ENZO – or @$$Hole?!!! This gig is actually giving Apollo Crews some character! I support this!

Apollo Crews doesn’t take selfies! It’s a female trait! Kick Enzo in his head yes!

I don’t think TJP really wants to be a bad guy… he sure as hell doesn’t act like one… he wants that title – and Neville knows it… keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer right?!

Now that the storylines have slightly changed… does Bray and Finn still have beef? I’m still hoping that the ‘demon king’ appears from out the darkness and assaults Wyatt during this match…

Nope – Samoa Joe – TEEEEEEEF! Is it safe to say that we can automatically take Samoa Joe and Seth Rollins out of the winning equation?! Samoa Joe thought he was going to double team with Wyatt to beat down Rollins – SWITCH – Wyatt hit the Sister Abigail on Joe – BLAOW!!! Wyatt is not someone you make your bredrin! He learnt that after Randall!

GRANT BODY-P!

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Monday Night Raw #1241, March 6, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Suddenly CM Princess Peach B!tch losing wasn’t so bad now does it?

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news: Talking of CM Princess Peach B!tch, WWE RAW is in Chicago… oh boy… after Double R’s win over Strowman at the Fast Lane joint and Goldberg now the new World Wrestling Federation Champion, the fans are up in arms (apart from me, because I always win) But this time even I, the Infamous Informer fears for WWE’s safety… I seriously think WWE should turn back and go to Green Bay Wisconsin or something… it’s like that film ‘The Grey’ I watched at my moms the other night… the wolves pretty much took out an entire squad. That’s the Chicago Fans, all for their saviour, CM Princess Peach B!tch!

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RAW 1241! GOD BLESS JOJO!

13,135 CM Princess Peach B!tch worshippers welcoming  Jericho in the building!

Can you believe it why????? Jericho wants to know why… I told you why three frigging weeks ago!

Jericho was ready to cuss bad words! He might as well!

If Jericho was not his best friend? So who is Owen’s best friend? A big mac?

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m actually surprised the Chicago crowd are cheering Goldberg… come on internet fans – WWE can’t edit out live chants!

The Friends of Jericho! Cheer him on maaaaaaan!!!!! They are down with Jericho Vs Owens at the big BIG WrestleMania! US TITLE ON THE LINE!

…and the fight is on! Oh no Samoa Joe TEEEEEEEF!!!! Sami Zayn is on his way! Maybe that rumor is true about that dastardly Triple Teef is putting together on some power trip sh!t!

Let me tell you something – I am yawning crazy here, I actually have a job interview in the morning, so RAW best come through because bwoy!!!!!

Er – what? Sami Zayn Vs Kevin Owens AGAIN? Oh for f**ks sake… I’m grabbing a pudding… you want some? No? Ok more for me!

…and here we go with the CM P**k chants during a cruiserweight match involving Neville… I swear I hate that muthaf***a… WHO THE F**K IS HE? FOH!

Crowd causing trouble chanting for Austin Aries… do they know something I don’t?

Neville says there is no one on his level! Hmmm… so this is the jump off for WrestleMania? Neville all up in Aries face and he dropped Neville with a mean clothesline! well The Grant says – unless there is some ladder match for the tag team titles at the big BIG WrestleMania… not every muthaf***a is gonna get paid!

Here he comes… the NEW! World Wrestling Federation Champion!!! If you don’t like that sh!t – gimme your card and get the f**k outta here!!!

“This title belongs to YOU”! WHOA! Go ahead – complain on the internet – YOU THE WRESTLING FANS ARE THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION!

Oh my god! That didn’t take long for Brock to come out, F5 Goldberg and regard him as Brock’s B!tch!

This wrestling sh!t is boring me – admittedly I’m waiting for Roman and Strowman to do their thing hoping that the gong will hit , in the meantime let’s give it up for JoJo shall we? even Double R himself knows!

JOJO RR

If a woman’s behind is flatter than JoJo… IT’S NOT A BEHIND! Some of you jabronies need to know what a BACKSIDE IS!

Big ups to Rick Rude! HIM TOO RUDE!!!! Newest inductee in the Hall Of Fame! This class is crazy!!!!

Wait a minute… why does Stephanie look bex and want Foley to go into her office? He didn’t do anything wrong did he? Oh yeah – He booked Sami Zayn Vs Kevin Owens again didn’t he? Oh yes – he’s in trouble!

Introducing the New Day Popcycle! I wished they debuted the ice cream bars in Chicago! But the crowd have been quite behaved actually… maybe they were shook after Stephanie put them on blast last time…

Stephanie!.jpg

Watching Bayley buss a promo and I can see a dumb@$$ in a purple T-Shirt that looked too tight with his tongue hanging out like a retard! You can tell he can’t get any pu$$y!

GRANT BODY-P!

Who’s gonna be Bayley’s next opponent for the big BIG WrestleMania? Sasha Banks?! Sounds cool but what about the long-legged sexy @$$ Charlotte? What about The Bottom and the Breasts – Nia Jax?

Uh-Oh – Stephanie’s sexy @$$ is out here and the CM P**k chants started! Stephanie grant-body-pshut them down again! Chanting for a LOOSER!!!!! The crowd is losing this big time! Tried to drown out Stephanie’s voice! And epic failed!

There is an issue with Sasha the Boss and Stephanie the boss! I so want Sasha and Stephanie to clash – the storyline would be epic!

Check it out – if Sasha beats Bayley -it is a triple threat match at WrestleMania for the women’s title. However – If Sasha loses – It’s Bayley Vs Charlotte… now, in this case, I want Sasha to LOSE. I wanna see Stephanie and Sasha to destroy each other!

Damnit! Charlotte tried to teef – but it backfired and Sasha advances to big BIG WrestleMania! BLAST!

Imagine that – Seth Rollins is on that rehab to get back to big BIG WrestleMania and he has the dastardly Triple Teef poster as incentive and motivation!

Now they restarted the vignettes for ‘Emma’ coming soon… Aaaah woman just take it out and start!

GRANT BODY-P!

Here we go!!! Braun and Double R gonna clash!!! Wait for the gong!!! PLEASE!

AAAAAAH SH!T!!!! But check it – Braun, the monster among men has sense – he LEFT THE RING!

But not Double R… who claims it’s his yard… Undertaker takes one look at the sign. CHOKESLAMS DOUBLE R TO HELL!

It’s the match I didn’t wanna see… but Double R… you dealing with the best that ever did it now… this is it – if Undertaker gives you props and the crowd still doesn’t accept you… I feel bad for you son!

Dedicated to Stephanie McMahon… this tune is for you girl! SHUT EM DOWN!!!!(Remind me to tweet you…)

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Monday Night Raw #1183, January 25, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

TripleH1

Can I be the first to say…. TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!! Right there are still a number of you who still don’t understand what the word ‘TEEF’ means… it’s Jamaican slang, and I will break it down here and now.

According to the Urban Dictionary… Literally means ‘damn thief’ but is more used in a situation where someone is trying to rip you off. 

1) Jamaican slang for “to steal”

2) When you feel you’ve been cheated or conned and is unfair. Used a lot when playing video games, especially fighting ones.

And that’s what ‘TEEF ‘ means people… Triple H is one of the best heels to ever do it, and that’s what Triple did at the Royal Rumble. He ‘ripped you off’. He ‘stole’ the championship because he’s a corporate employee, the WWE superstars were conned, cheated, the opportunity was unfair…GET IT?! Unfortantely there are a number of jabronies who failed to do the knowledge and grasp the fundamental rule of professional wrestling: WRESTLING IS STORYLINE. So when I hear some you complain, and then even come up with ‘what they should have done’ or ‘what they must do next’ BELIEVE ME… YOU DO NOT MAKE SENSE.

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GRANT BODY -P!

RAW #1182! I am the Infamous Informer, you ain’t got to agree with me, you ain’t got to like me, but YOU WILL RESPECT MY CONGLOMERATE!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZSource: WWE.Com/YouTube

I expect RAW to open up with Triple saying something like: ‘I AM THE GAME-ERRRR, I AM THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION -ERRRR, AND I GOT A 2 DOLLAR HOE OF A WIFE-ERRRRRR!!!!’

Really? Are people actually asking why Triple needs to be champion?? Obviously a lot more people have not done the knowledge! Really WWE Universe are you THAT retarded?

Simple – he doesn’t need to be champion!!! DYAM ARSE! Y’all act like you forgot what happened at the TLC joint! When Roman mash up Triple! It’s all revenge – FOOL!

We can’t do anything about Triple as the champion it seems! Complaining on the internet is useless! It feels like late 1999/2000 all over again!

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Crowd chanting for Roman…. then Vincent Kennedy interjects – “That’s not the respect we’re talking about – SHUDDUP!!!”

Wait a minute what about the 30 day defense clause??? (he’s the C.O.O. of the company he can do what he wants!) Oh BLAST! Turns out he’s not defending at Fast Lane, instead will be a #1 contender’s match… winner goes to WrestleMania…

You see what I mean??? TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!

It also means the ‘dream’ is dead as far as a match with Triple Vs The Rock this year….

Too many Roman Reigns quotes by The Authority!!! This #1 contenders match is pointless – we know it’s Triple Vs Reigns at WrestleMania… and dude is gonna win… I dunno man 100,000+ fans at the AT&T Stadium in Dallas, Texas and millions watching around the world know this is a no-brainer… saying that most of you are retarded…

GRANT BODY-P!!!

Great contest between Dolph Ziggler & Kevin Owens yet again… I know some of you think I’m starting to like Ziggler – Well yeah…. ON TOTAL DIVAS! Because that’s what he is quite frankly…

GRANT BODY-P!!!

As a hip hop fan I’m not even gonna attempt to watch the ‘rap battle’ between Flo Rida and Bo Dallas… this blog is brought to you courtesy of RePPiN4U: Represent The Real Hip Hop – key word – REAL – The Cage Amateurs UK, who don’t play that phony rubbish when fighters make their way to the octagon and Fox Sports 1340am Hopewell, where their esteemed journalists are REAL Hip Hop fans! We don’t do that nonsense over here!

Welcome to the big league AJ STYLES! Yes I know the IWC don’t necessarily see WWE that way… a lot of em think the NJPW is the sheeeet…and hey – I’m not arguing with them! But I’m a WWE guy, I’m not gonna get jokes watching the New Japan joint so… welcome to the big league AJ STYLES! Your opponent – Chris Jericho!

AJ STYLES TNAThe Infamous Informer doesn’t make memes… he has no time for that…

This is the second time I am actually seeing AJ Styles fight (first time was at WrestleKingdom 10) and I can see why the fans are getting their jerk on! Hopefully this will totally kill the CM Princess Peach B!tch chants…

AJ Styles out wrestled Jericho! For those who don’t know like me… this guy is serious! To think… Austin Aries and Samoa Joe are here too! And big BIG WrestleMania 32 soon come!

Aaaah yes… Becky Lynch Vs Sasha Banks… brings back memories hey NXT fans???!!!

HOLD UP – BIRTHDAY SALUTATIONS TO THE BOSS LADY! NOT YOU STEPHANIE SIT DOWN!

Sasha

Hey by the way who said Sasha was injured??? And where’s Sasha’s Team BAD sistrins? I thought it was all about UNITY??? ANSWERS ON A POSTCARD PLEASE! Tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

Wait a minute Becky & Sasha were having a good old competitive wrestling contest! Why Charlotte interfering for??? Yo shout out to Charlotte daddy – RIC FLAIR! He got in Becky’s tongue at the Royal Rumble… and did a strut after that! HE IS DA MAN!!!

 

Becky would get it – no doubt! GRANT BODY-P!

Everytime I miss an episode of RAW due to circumstances beyond my control The Rock appears!!! ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!! This time… The New Day??? I love The New Day & Francesca II (The trombone) but I don’t want The Rock to cuss these lot??? OH NO!!!!

YES NEW DAY! NOW THAT IS A SHIRT!!! I need that in my life! WWEShop.Com HERE I COME! Right after… I pay these bills!

NEW DAY ROCKS SHIRT

Even The Rock loves the promo material The New Day is coming with! They cannot be denied!

I’M DEDDIN! The Rock hasn’t spoke yet and New Day asking Rock – I am himWhere your Championship Gold at? Where dat tho? Hahahahahahahaha! THIS IS GREAT!

OH SNAP! they doing the thing what The Rock does with his tongue!!! That lalalalallalalalalalalallalalallala-loaaaaaaaw!!!!

But now… The Rock is gonna roast em…. HERE WE GO!!!!

OH LAWWWWD! ‘Lama Penises strapped to their head’!!!! And Xavier is like – ‘WHAAAAAAAAAAAT’???!!!! The Rock just killed it in one line!

Big E is has his eyes bulging, looking like that dude who saw Brock break the streak at WrestleMania XXX!

NO!!! Three Unib!tches in a circle!!!! Rock STOP IT!!!

Three men cannot manage The Rock! They turning their back and walking out! They can’t do that!

That’s why The Rock…much like Triple Teef… always has a Plan B….

The Usos come out to beat on The New Day! Rock Bottom to Big E – BLAOW!!!!

Uso brudda hit the Samoan drop to Kofi Kingston – BLAOW!!!!

Get in there Xavier!!!! Your turn to get BUSS ARSE!

He got kicked down by the Usos! Spinebuster by The Rock! And now, the most electrifying move in all of entertainment toady – THE PEOPLE’S ELBOW!!!

And to think…. Paige was asking where Natalya was at and if she works here anymore… look here now! They are pairing up against Brie Bella and Alicia Fox!

I have a question for all my WWE2K16 cats: Have you assigned Daniel Bryan’s move set to Brie Bella??? Yes I know you already created/downloaded AJ Styles! All I know is – WWE2K17 gonna be OFF THE HOOK!

Hang on – WHAT??? Did you hear what Mike Cole said on the Kalisto Vs The Miz contest? “Here’s the cover again, and a kick out at #25…??!!!!” WHOA!!!! I’ve heard King Kong Bundy say ‘I WANT FIVE!’ I’ve heard Big E Langston say ‘I WANT FIVE!’ But The Miz wants ‘TWENTY-FIVE???!!!’ He must be out of his mind!

I know what Mike Cole meant – get your thong out your arse fool!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

OHHH SNAP! The Shield (minus Rollins)! Beat down the boy Rusev! Powerbomb through the table – BLAOW!!! Oh dear Rusev ain’t crushing Lana for a week now! I hear Lana crying out there… to that The Grant says – SHUT-TUP!!! Payback for Rusev taking reigns out the game at the Royal Rumble!

Well Stephanie made the news – Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns & Brock Lesnar will fight at the Fast Lane! Winner faces Triple TEEF at WrestleMania! Er… YAWN!!!! Roman wins, Wyatt will cost Brock, and Ambrose is in a ladder match defending his title – how about that! That’s the Infamous Informer’s call! Come on WWE come better than that! RESPECT MY CONGLOMERATE!

 

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

NEW STC LOGO 2015

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Monday Night Raw #1182, January 18, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Aaaaaah sh!t! It’s about that time where Facebook’s #1 wrestling group leaves their keyboards, their HiPhones, their gidgets gadgets behind, come together and gather for the rumble… the ROYYYYAL RUMBLLLLLLLE!!! 30 men, The World Wrestling Federation Championship, somebody will be the champion and headline WrestleMania! Somebody in the Smack Talk Centre will be at least £30 richer, and the prestigious Smack Talk Centre Championship is on the line! Who gonna look good in their outfit?

http://www.facebook.com/groups/smacktalkcentre

REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A WEIRDO! DON’T DO IT!

Follow us – ON DI TWITTA – @stc_wwe!

But before that, who you backing? who you think gonna win the rumble? Is AJ Styles & Co gonna appear? WELL DON’T GET GASSED! YOU are to blame if they don’t appear and you get angry… NOT MY PROBLEM!

GRANT BODY -P!

Find out on this week’s STC From The UK Show! Saturday 5pm UK 12noon EST! On BDSIR NETWORK – The Best Damn Show In Radiaaah!!!

RAW #1182! I am the Infamous Informer, Don’t get my hands dirty, I got goons that spray, quick to kill a motherf****r, like BOOM BYE YEAH!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZI HAVE A DREAM! That one day, Internet Wrestling Know It Alls would stop reading dirt shets, buying into everything they read, then throw wobblys because Cesaro isn’t pushed to the main event….

I HAVE A DREAM! That one day, Jimmy Uso will give Naomi a free pass, and she will travel here to the UK, find the Infamous Informer, and throw on some Raphael Saadiq, Backs Dat @$$ Up and allows him to give her one piece of sweet loving!

GRANT LUTHER KING!

Roman Reigns has come down the stairs! Brock Lesnar caused an injustice! He calls out Brock, but gets Jericho!

Jericho is inviting Reigns to come on the Highlight Reel with Brock! Well Jericho, prepare to have your Jeritron 65000 destroyed!!! That thing is going over somebody’s headtop surely!

Look at these League of Nation fools… they want in to the highlight reel… they all claim they gonna win the Rumble… as usual – we ALL wanna win the Rumble! Sh!t I wanna win the Rumble! But if those lights go out and the bell tolls… f**k that – over the top rope I go – ME GONE! (What about Brock Grant?) Oh I’ll hide underneath the ring until he’s gone!

After all that chatting… Roman Reigns Fights Rusev! Jericho is now the guest referee! Just like HBK… I don’t trust that Jericho! It’s one Vs all right? Roman Reigns watch your back rude boy!

Wait a minute – League of Nations at ringside??? TEEEEEEEF!!!! The ref should run them out the arena! But it’s Jericho, he wouldn’t do that… he’d rather beat out their blodclart himself!

High risk maneuver coming up – Rusev tries a Samoan Drop off the top ropes, Reigns counters – sit out power bomb to Rusev – BLAOW!!!!

Sheamus tried to teef – Jericho caught him! GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE! Barrett tries to reason with his big nose – COME OUT! Jericho is law & order! Bertie tries to reason… he’s out as well! Jericho doing the cartwheel while he’s doing it! Roman hits the superman punch and the spear to Rusev… BLAOW! 1….2…and….3!!!! League of WHAT? F**KOUTTAHERE!

Look at the chemistry between Jericho and Stephanie… god damnit Jericho wants to f**k her bad! You can see it in his face! I mean… one of these days… I will interview Jericho, and I want the TRUTH!

Look who’s back! Natalya! look at her suit – she got no draws on underneath that! So is Paige! Urgh… I still hate that b!tch! Natalya fighting Brie – you know it’s all about the Total Divas – THEY’RE BACK BABY!

Total Divas - Season 5

 

TOTAL DIVAS — Season: 5 — Pictured: “Total Divas” Season 5 Key Art — (Photo by: E! Entertainment)

6 of the 8 women would get the D from me… one of em is obvious but can you guess the other one? Answers on a postcard – tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

GRANT BODY -P!

While the Dudleys and Ryback are fighting each other in six man tag competition… just to confirm – Natalya had NO DRAWS ON! Something has happened to that woman…it’s

Natalya - No draws

Photo courtesy of that dutty bwoy Steadx!

almost as if Nikki passed the freaky baton on to Natalya! A Lie Me Ah Tell?

Not these blasted Social Outcasts… Big Show just punch all four of these jabronies through school buses!

Curtis Axel still on that Royal Rumble 2015 sh!t… can this fool enter the Rumble at #1 so that the #2 entrant can eliminate his blodclart?

GRANT BODY-P!

Aaaaaah sh!t – Stephanie injecting a lethal dose of TEEEEEF into the League of Nations! Come on guys??? a a King of the Ring Winner, a 40 man Royal Rumble winner and a former World Wrestling Federation Champion running scared of Jericho??? Stephanie just told them to f**k him up!

It’s kinda funny how Stephanie tells Jericho how it’s not 1999 anymore… I remember what happened in 1999, don’t you wrestling fans???!!!

For real Vincent Kennedy? 30 balls in that muthaf***a? And Roman Reigns gotta go first??? In the interest of fairness, they did try it 3 times… and it was… ROMAN REIGNS!!!! TEEEEEEEEEEEEF! Come on Roman – it can be done!!!! Gotta look strong right??!!!

Side note – Stephanie teasing the WWE Universe on some ‘somebody we haven’t seen before’ to win the Rumble or become #1 entrant… referring to AJ Styles & The Bullet Club or Nakumara? You should be so lucky… SHUT THE F**K UP!

GRANT BODY -P!

I am himBecky Lynch faces off against my girl Tamina…changed her music too… argh man you mean they couldn’t use the Busta Rhymes tune – I Love My B!tch????!

It’s official – 2 of the three members of Team BAD are out here… Sasha Banks is out the game… god damnit… just when Team BAD’s creative vaginal juices were about to flow…

GRANT BODY-P!!

Meanwhile Kevin Owens is trying to show Mike Cole how to do it on commentary… don’t do it too well Owens! F**k around and Vincent Kennedy will have you there pernamently like he tried with Randy Savage!

I know the New Day did not just hold a service for Franchesca the Trombone! All three guys dressed in black! Look what you have done Jericho! YOU MURDERER! I mean, what you did makes Chris Benoit look like an angel! How can WWE allow this man (Jericho) to be on TV??? They should erase him from history! HE KILLED A TROMBONE PEOPLE! While you jabronies pay to see him and his Fozzy jabronies singing nonsense and making unnecessary noise with the guitar??? WAKE UP PEOPLE! Cut off the funding towards his podcasts!

The New Day will exact their revenge, starting with The Uso brudda… they will fight for the Tag Titles… but they don’t have Franchesca… it cannot simply be replaced???

Whoa Whoa Whoa! Hold up – Mark Henry, Titus & R-Truth  – is that another team about to brew??? They have a dream.. and so does Neville! They will one day become World Wrestling Federation Champion! Sometimes guys, I like all of you but… dreams are just that – A DREAM!

They are up against The Ascension, Tyler Breeze and Stardust – with all these 4 man teams going on, can’t we have the Survivor Series as the next PPV? Do that traditional 4 vs 4 sh!t???

I’m gonna call this team – TEAM MLK… they all mashed up Tyler Breeze with their super moves! BALL GAME! Yo Tyler… NXT is THAT WAY! I don’t care how good you are as a wrestler – you wear that frilly sh!t – I ain’t taking your b!tch @$$ seriously!

GRANT BODY – P!

Aaaah sh!t – Where’s the Jeritron 650000 at? Holy crap – Jericho just told Heyman to Shut The Hell Up??? Ok – dude is going to Suplex City!

Say what? Did Jericho just ask Heyman if he has no faith in Brock winning the Rumble? Good counter by Heyman – Lesnar never got pinned or submitted when he lost the title… Heyman promises Brock will turn the Rumble into Suplex City! But who gonna eliminate Brock? That’s what I wanna know!

Jericho is sure of himself isn’t he? He really thinks he can throw Lesnar out the Rumble! It’s almost as if Jericho heard me ask the question! So did Brock by the sounds of things!

I think Roman heard me too! He’s coming down the stairs! The man who laughed in Suplex City!!!! I hope that tatical vest plays well Roman!

Reigns hit the spear to Lesnar – BLAOW! But the League of nations rushed the ring! I don’t know why… as Lesnar mashed them all up! But Reigns comes with another spear – BLAOW! Next minute the Wyatt man come! Check this out – they f**ked up Lesnar! You think they gonna take him away and harvest his powers too?

SH!T! The Wyatt Family killed muthaf***az like BOOM BYE YEAH!!!

SEE YOU AT RILEY’S SPORTS BAR WOLVERHAMPTON THIS SUNDAY MUTHAF***AZ!

SEE YOU AT RILEY’S SPORTS BAR WOLVERHAMPTON THIS SUNDAY MUTHAF***AZ!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

NEW STC LOGO 2015

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Reproduced by kind permission of the Infamous Informer by www.cageamateursuk.com

Monday Night Raw #1179, December 28, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Rock WM32 Instagram

AAAAAAAH SH!T!!! WWE playing the hand they dealt! They gonna fill that muthaf***a – I PROMISE YOU! The question remains – Will he fight?! Well if he announces this – surely it’s to fight right? Or is it trick knowledge to fill the WrestleMania seats in a business stunt?

RAW #1179! LETS GET THAT 2016 FLOW! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZAAAH SH!T!!! VINCENT KENNEDY IN THE BUILDING!!! And my stream is f**k!n about!!! F****K!

ROMAN REIGNS IN THE BUILDING! Oh no… you don’t suppose Vincent Kennedy is gonna fire him? Nah he wants Roman to suffer… just like Austin suffered, like The Rock, Undertaker, HBK…Triple…

Nobody embarasses a McMahon!!! AAAH SH!T – Roman you will pay for this!!! The crowd are dropping the WHAT chant on Vincent Kennedy! I’m surprised he hasn’t said – SHUT UP WHILE I’M TALKING! And he still claims he is a certified billionaire! This segment is great! Crowd with the YES Chant supporting Reigns! Yo this kid is over rude boy!

Crowd chanting Daniel Bryan & CM Punk… but I don’t know why… and Vincent Kennedy is like – SHUUUUUDDDDDUP!!!!!! LAWWWWWWWD!

Is Vincent Kennedy throwing racial slurs against the Samoans??? Hey Vince – Samoan lives matter!!! Look what happen – you assaulted a police officer! Everytime you say ‘I’m Vince McMahon damnit’ something bad happens to you!!!! Vincent Kennedy is arrested like a common criminal! Roman Reigns should have poured beer down the back of his neck! I liked how Reigns had the mic to the police while they were saying Vince had a right to an attorney!!! Reigns smiling and sh!t!!! HAHAHAHA!!! Thy should have arrested Stephanie too – well I would have arrested Stephanie!!! Just for wearing those sexy @$$ knee high boots… SEXY B!TCH!!!

Stephanie in my thronePhoto courtesy of PG Kills WWE FB group

You mean to tell me I blinked and I missed Neville beat Kevin Owens??? You don’t do that!!! Now Neville is getting BUSS ARSE! Ok guys! two things you DON’T DO – tweet Owens in a negative, and counter his Pop-up powerbomb into a pin!!! If you do – RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!

Holy sh!t! the referees were carrying Neville up the ramp, then Owens ran out – what a dutty clothesline – BLAOW! A move JBL would be proud of! But then Ambrose comes out!!!! Fist and fire all over Owens! Yes Ambrose! Get that fat f**k!

GRANT BODY -P!

John Cena fights Bertie in the Raw Main Event – will he win back the US championship? If he does, the haters be like – “Del Rio got buried – Cena’s making the League of Nations look…” I got an idea – you haters SHUT THE F**K UP! No new years resolutions from the Infamous Informer – I will continue to put the haters in their place!!!

Team BAD I love you but you can’t diss Brooklyn??? You three are lucky Ol’ Dirty Bastard and Sean Price are not here – they would tell you to Shut the f**k up and suck their d!ck with barbecue sauce – P!!!!

Jay-Z & Biggie Smalls – Sasha drop your draws!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!

 

Becky – it’s not looking good for you girl – Sasha gonna mash you up – WWE2K16 GRANT BODY -P!Saying that these two always put on a fantasic contest…

Becky Lynch – High risk manuever coming up – splashes the whole of Tean BAD! She gonna pay for that I will assure you!

But Sasha is dominating Becky in this match! And she hollered – UNITY! with her Team BAD girls!

Aaaah sh!t! Becky hung up on the apron, Sasha bounces off the ropes, comes back makes a suicide dive – missed Becky – hit her two Set It Off sistas!

Good counter tchnique sequence in the closing moments of that match but Sasha with a roll up and pull the tights for the win! Yes people! We gonna see Sasha beat up Becky Lynch every week until big big WrestleMania… the pay off will be great folks! LET THE STORYLINE PLAY OUT!

HAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!! They just showed a mugshot of Vincent Kennedy!!!! as soon as the STC boys get that shot – it will be here!

The New Day are right – you jabronies didn’t vote for them for tag team of the year – so they ain’t singing for your dumb @$$!

AAAH SH!T – HERE IT IS!!!! I can see the IWC using this for memes such as ‘arrested for not pushing Cesaro’, ‘bad booking’… oh no the possibilities are endless!

VKM Mugshot.jpg

Xavier Wuss! That should be his new name! Sin Cara was right to jump in when The New Day were teefin! But get the joke! Xavier take off shirt and was then like – you know what? Payback is a BIIIIIIIIIG E! Oh dear Sin Cara you are in trouble now!

First Kevin Owens, Now the New Day are telling Mike Cole how to call the match! And everytime Sin Cara gets brukk up by Big E, that trombone will play!

Oh dear… seems like Big E mashed up Sin Cara’s shoulder! Did you IWC trainspotters see the ref throw up the ‘X’ sign? You like to see that sh!t don’t you?! all those minor details! (f**kouttahere…)

Damn Sin Cara is determined he gonna finish this muthaf***a!

Well yeah – Big E finished it for you… spectacular moves aside – the Big Ending put you down son….

While The Miz does his Year in Review, It gives me the chance to plug the upcoming STC From the UK best of 2015 show… Hit the BDSIR NETWORK logo at the bottom of this blog and it will take you right there…

Yeah – no one wants to hear The Miz and his battyman self… not even the Ryback who says 2016 gonna be his year! You are the big guy, and Goldust likes big guys!!!

GRANT BODY – P!

Talking of battyman… Zack Ryder is here! He claims 2016 gonna be his year too! Well The Grant says Zack Ryder is right – it will be his year when he finally gets FUTURE ENDEAVOURED!

GRANT BODY-P!

So what’s up R-Truth? He says vote for him for Superstar of the year! Ok Truth, I got you for 2016! But what about Heath Slater?? Or even The Big Show??? What is this – the future endeavoured segement?

The Big Show! Punched Slater through schoolbuses! Beat down Goldust and The Miz! R-Truth tries to knock himself out but it doesn’t work! CHOKESLAAAAAM! BLAOW! Ryback tries to test him… but he gets dashed out by Show! Crowd want him to retire! But Big Show is like F**K YOU! I’m gonna enter the Rumble at #1, and win that muthaf***a and go to big BIG WrestleMania!!! Oh ny god no – that must be prevented! In the words of he who WILL be at WrestleMania, if the Big Show is gonna headline Wrestlemania, then WrestleMania is gonna absolutely SUCK!

Crowd chanmting Big…Show Sucks ‘New Day Style’!!! And New Day didn’t win the best tag team award… sorry kids you made a boo-boo there!

Good luck to the Uso Brudda and Ambrose… they face The League of Nations… they mashed them up last week…

Has Sheamus joined the Vincent Kennedy kiss my arse club? I mean I’m a fan of the 70 year old, but damn Sheamus!!!

Crowd chanting – We Want Lana! Wise strategy by Rusev to keep lana out of harms way… face it fans – you want Lana but Lana don’t want you!

Oh man the League of Nations dedicated the match to Vincent Kennedy! Uh-Oh – they best win this contest! If they don’t – bwoyyyyyyy!!!!

…and the League of Nations fulfilled their dedication to McMahon! That ain’t the issue – Kevin Owens straight up attacked Ambrose!!! Damn! Y’all should have voted for Owens last week! This is on your head fans… NOT MINE!

Kevin Owens – Powerbomb through the table – BLAOW!!!! Ambrose – him dead now!

Replaying the opening segment… did Stephanie just say that was police brutality???? Clearly Stephanie didn’t see what happened to Eric Garner! Vince could breathe perfectly!

John Cena has arrived! The 15x Champ is here! Come on Bertie, get out here so you can get Cenalised! defend the symbol of excellence!

But I might side with Bertie here… I mean, he says the people don’t deserve a US Championship Match… They chanted CM Princess Peach B!tch earlier… sh!t I would have said that in my promo! Sheeeeet – shoot on em!!!!

LAWWWD HAVE MERCY! Cena mentioned the Notorious B.I.G. and Jay-Z! Er… Bertie – I think you should put the title on the line!!!

GRANT BODY – P!

NOW BERTIE HAS PUT THE TITLE ON THE LINE!!!! HERE WE GO!!!

Jay-Z Biggie Smalls Bertie sh!t your draws! Cena going out for all! AND YOU DON’T STOP!

Before the battle commences… Shout out to Lemmy from Motorhead… I mean, this is RePPiN4U: Represent Real Hip Hop but I did like the tunes he made for Triple and Evolution… and that other tune – The Ace of Spades. Lemmy deserves his props. He gonna find himself in the HOF watch…. #LiveOnLiveLong

Damn Bertie is kicking down Cena all over that ring! Not looking good for the kids favourite!

Uh-oh!!! The ref knocked out, Cena hit the STF super move, now The League of Nations have come out to teef… and just for the record… Vincent Kennedy got bailed out… is he on his way back to the arena?

All that teefing! And Cena still kicking out at 2! Yes IWC smoke that sh!t and get high on it!

Cena had the match won, but the League of Nations are making sure Bertie doesn’t get Cenalised!

But the Usos! Mash up and all jumping in the fight! Just waiting for Roman to come down the stairs!

F**k the stairs! He hit the spear on Rusev! He’s beating on Sheamus!

OH NO! VINCENT KENNEDY IS HERE! Just in time! Oh sh!t!!!

Next week, Roman must defend his World Wrestling Federation Championship against Sheamus!!! Vincent Kennedy is gonna be the guest referee! If I was Roman, I’d study what Austin did when he was in that situation!

HAPPY NEW YEAR MUTHAF***AZ!

GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

CLICK HERE TO OUR SMACK TALK CENTRE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

FOLLOW SMACK TALK CENTRE ON TWITTER

DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

NEW STC LOGO 2015

11030825_10205344040058724_718583399_o

Gratefully reproduced by kind permission of The Infamous Informer at Smack Talk Centre RAW

Check out Cage Amateurs UK at  http://www.cageamateursuk.com/News.php

The Jobber Blogger – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 5/11/14

jobber blogger bonfireYup, that’s about as exciting as it gets.

I went to a Bonfire. It was a little one behind a local Pub, I watched it from a Distance…. was nice. Then went home.

Number One Hundred and Thirty Three! Good old #133 – reminds me of nothing.

You know, I’m struggling with TNA these days. It seems of late, though their program is usually fairly solid, and despite the odd expectation, it’s just a little… boring.

I’m not bored watching it, but my enthusiasm for the product is drifting. But then, as I constantly moan about, I’m sure that’s down to the fact it’s Taped. It doesn’t feel right, least not what we’re used to.

Which is an interesting and also non relevant thing, given what I will talk about in a minute.

I suppose when I pull it apart, TNA is pretty good. Bobby Roode is champ, The Hardyz are competing, the Tag-Team Tournament was awesome. I like the direction of the Knockouts currently, though a little more than just Havok would be nice, granted Madison and Taryn are feuding, but it’s taken a huge back seat to Havok.

Whilst on the topic of the Knockouts, I miss Brooke – Tessmacher that is, not Hogan.

She did an interview recently about being more involved with TNA again next year. Hopefully The Amazing Race will bring Brooke and Robbie E over as an on-air couple when it’s all finished.

I’ve never watched it, I don’t even know what it is…. I’m guessing their Racing? And that it probably isn’t as Amazing as the name implies.

Anyway, lets break down TNA Impact when I get to Impact.

redlinebootcampLet’s talk about British Bootcamp.

I mentioned Episode 1 two weeks back, but then I hadn’t got round to watching Episode 2 in time for last week’s Jobber Blogger. So now I’m up to date with all 3 episodes watched by my eyes.

Currently, Boot Camp is more exciting to me than Impact.

Should that be possible?

Episode 2 was alright, the high light was obviously that Andrews chap whose name I’ve gotten… aside from the Andrews part.

Episode 3 however brought it up a notch, everyone was good. I’m glad they are all going through to this week’s (tonight’s) show.

The idea of all of them competing on a Card, that’s awesome! So yeah, I’m pumped. I don’t know who I’m rooting for. I guess Grado has the advantage as obviously all that mess was a work.

I say obviously… it seems obvious to me, but then I could be wrong. Probably not though.

It’s this weird “Reality” meets “Wrestling” that never quite feels right.

TNA try their hand at it all the time, but it leaves far too many problems and plot holes… like the stars watching the product.

Which brings me to the thing I’m most excited to talk about!

redlinelucha-underground-tna

Oh yes!

I am Biased! Granted, anything Rodriguez has his name on, I’m excited for.

I don’t know how much input he has on Lucha Underground, but it sings with his influence, or least the influence of the Mexican culture.

I’ve been looking forward to watching this for ages, it’s debut last week in America actually took me by surprise, I didn’t think it was so close to coming out.

But it’s hitting a lot of the Wrestling News and it’s viewership in just one week jumped 163%.

Ladies and Gentleman – It’s Good!

Now I don’t if we’re all excited because it’s something new?

Because not only is it something “new” but it’s something totally different for a Wrestling show. It’s got a good budget, it looks and feels like parts of my WCW memories.

It’s got new faces, and it’s got a whole Wrestling Legacy and Culture that rarely gets showcased to the level it’s capable of. That being Lucha Libre.

What is vastly different, is it’s a Television show, and it knows it.

Every single segment is beautifully shot, not always beautifully acted, it still has Wrestlers in it. But it’s Cinematic. It’s exciting.

It’s Storyline driven and already feels like it’s got an “arc” in place.

Also it made me like Chavo Guerrero! I’ve never liked Chavo Guerrero!

It’s got balls, it’s got direction, it’s got vision.

And above all else, it’s got Wrestling.

Matt Striker stole a good TNA quote “I dare you to tune into any other Wrestling promotion and find action like this”.

Hey TNA, now you need to compete with Lucha Underground, because Mundo and Puma, that’s the level the bar is now set at. And you are a long, long way from reaching it.

Something anyone who reads my ramblings will be familiar with is my love for Tigre Uno!

tigre uno fn

He is fantastic, and impresses me every single time I see him compete, which bugs me because TNA have done nothing to help him out.

Every time he has a match, or isn’t used, I moan about TNA using him better.

Hey, there is now a solution, which from now on, I shall use.

Release Tigre Uno.

Let him go to Lucha Underground and perform on that level, because he can, and that would be amazing.

Without turning this into a new blog about Lucha Underground, I will end it by saying I hope they keep fresh faces, I don’t want a lot of well known stars turning up. There are of course some exceptions. First and foremost – AJ Styles.

Global Force Wrestling is heating up too, and I’m excited to watch that. But right now, Lucha is doing something Wrestling shows have never been able to do.

And it’s Freakin Working!

blueline

Impact Wrestling LogoTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 5/11/14

That might be the longest Intro to The Jobber Blogger in #133 issues.

It is tradition to start the show with a new Heavyweight Champion. Unless you’re the WWE and your Heavyweight Champions only compete 8 times a year.

But I digress.

Kurt Angle introduced Bobby Roode.

We’ve not had Roode as World Champion with his “Off the Chain” entrance theme, it matches.

Roode has always looked good with the World Title, and no that’s not taking it lightly, I think the TNA World Championship is a pretty bad design. I don’t hate it, I think it’s a little over the top and garish though. Not to mention it’s Too Big for most guys who have held it. It’s far too long in length and leaves the silly floppy strap at the back.

Yeah I’m picky. So what.

Roode now being World Champ actually feels like it matters. It’s not like Lashley has had a bad run at all, but Roode just seems to carry himself better. Or TNA least want to invest more time into him.

Saying that, AJ Styles taking the belt from Bully Ray and leaving TNA with it, that was far better. Well, only if you look past the fact that he never came back that is.

Tenay and Taz went on and on about how Lashley deserves a Re-match. Being such a dominant Champion. Which is laying the ground for a Face turn surely.

Because in my eyes, as a fan. Does Lashley deserve a Re-match? Me personally, I’d say yes, but that’s because I like him. Given that he was throwing out Low-Blows and Belt Shots last week, and that he’s won multiple times from the help from MVP and King. No, probably not.

What TNA is doing with Havok, is how Lashley should have been World Champ. It just didn’t quite work out that way.

MVP got on Roode’s case and offered up a Challenge of Roode vs. MVP for the World Championship. To which Angle said, and I quote “Roode, would you mind putting the Belt on the line?”

I get it, he’s words are not meant to be taken literal, but a few weeks back Angle himself told Lashley “it is your job do defend the belt whenever and wherever”. So in my eyes, “would you mind” doesn’t come into it.

Do I analyse this too much?

blueline

Samoa Joe and Low Ki vs. The Hardyz – Tag-Team Tournament – Finals

As much as I like Low Ki’s abilities, his presence, his entrance and how he carries himself. I hate, Hate, his promos.

He sounds ridiculous.

I said this before, but when he is next to Joe, it’s the dumbest thing you can possibly hear. Joe is fluent in the Promo language. He gets it, he’s wordy, intimidating, electric, dark, whatever he needs to be. Low Ki sounds like a $50 budget Mortal Kombat voice actor.

The intro package to this match which bounced back from Joe’s speeches to Low Ki’s, was hilariously dreadful.

Aside from that opening rant, I only wrote down that I love Matt’s Side-Effect move.

I’ve loved it since he brought it into his arsenal, it’s an awesome manoeuvre.

Anyone who knows me, knows I love Tag-Team Wrestling, so this has been an awesome and surprising tournament.

Surprising because I actually didn’t think The Hardyz would win.

For me, they should win, because of who they are, what they’ve accomplished and how good they are as a team, especially given the experience factor along between them and their opponents.

But given that they’ve fought the Wolves before, then took part in the Tag-Team series and lost on all occasions, I just didn’t think they’d be getting through to Round three.

But here we are, so I am looking forward to it. I just feel with Storm’s involvement with Richards, it’s probably going to be a more sucky kind of story match.

Who knows.

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Samuel Shaw and Brittany took to the ring… to do… something.

I’ve never liked Shaw’s attempt of a beard, being so thin and fuzzy, it just looked… horrible. But eliminating it to have a creepy porn star moustache. Yup, that’s worse.

And it didn’t stop there, Brittany was swinging on it, pulling it around, then pulling his mouth around and licking it. I didn’t need to see that.

Gunner obviously got involved, and resorted straight to bad mouthing Shaw and digging up the old “Creepy Bastard” chant.

Funny how Gunner went from being all noble, to verbally attacking him over someone else’ influence. You’d think given Gunner’s background in the Military and experience dealing with problematic individuals, who’d do less to attack them, and more to help them.

But then, it is Wrestling.

I don’t really care where this goes. Shaw is better the crazier he is, and Brittany just helps that. Gunner will just drift on to remain Gunner. The only reason I’d be more interested in this development is if Anderson gets involved again.

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TNA’s got a Brand New Star.

See you later Chris Malendez and say Hello to Mahogany Simba!

tna simba

It’s true, I have no idea what his name is, so I just wrote down what sound as similar and also made me laugh a little.

I’m a professional don’t you know.

So far I’m not all that impressed. He’s a big Indian guy with Boobs, let’s see what happens when he gets in the ring.

tna-simba2Much Better

Suicide was a cool character, good look, nice colours, awesome mask, great entrance music. Then he became Manik, most of that carried over.

Now he’s heel – super shinny blue Manik, whose new mask lets him talk… and he walks up to people like Simba and say “Sup, my Dude”.

tna-manik-sup

Does he look like a guy who says “Sup, My Dude?”

Well that Characters gone down the drain. What’s intimidating about that.

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Bram and Magnus vs. Devon and Tommy Dreamer – Hardcore Rules

You know what, I’m not even going to bother really spending much time on this match.

I’m not a fan.

One thing I did like, was the ending, only because it actually surprised me. In terms of how it came to a close.

Bram went through a Table, which happened quicker than I thought, also I was fairly sure he was the only one who wouldn’t end up going through a Table.

Then the best bit being Magnus thrown into the corner which had a Bin wedged into the Ropes, he Leap Frogged back only to get a Low-Blow then shoved face first into the bin. I didn’t expect it, was good.

Dreamer hit a DDT right after and took the Win.

I think Bram will probably continue from this, hopefully, after he defeating Abyss so many times, losing to the likes of Dreamer and Devon seems unlikely.

Even though they might be the legends, Abyss’ onslaught is far deadlier.

So I would take a guess that “Magnus” will be the weak link in Bram’s defeat.

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Spud had a little segment, I’m not sold on Spud’s face turn yet. I don’t think he’s reach much potential as a Face. What made him so great was being a heel. I always find the kind of character Spud was, is completely gone when he’s a face. Now he’s willing to fight, and Wrestling, and doing honourable things. It was funnier when he didn’t. Now he’s just like everyone else? Only less impressive?

Don’t get me wrong though, I do like Spud.

His Speech was good. So good that it brought out EC3 and Tyrus. Now, I’m fairly sure Spud won’t be the one to defeat EC3, but he might. I would hate that too.

Either way, Tyrus back when he was Brodus mentioned that the “Funkasaurus” gimmick wasn’t quite what he had in mind. I liked it, personally. But he didn’t want to do that. So here in TNA, I’m guessing he’s currently being more like who he wants to be…

tna-ec3-tyrusShould someone tell him that’s a Woman’s top?… He’s got the necklace and everything.

EC3 slapped JB, EY got involved. blah blah blah sums it up nicely.

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Gail Kim vs. Havok – Knockouts Championship

I seem to be picking on Commentary and the rules between Good Guys and Bad Guys too much, but it’s never bugged me to this level before.

Gail came out fighting, but Havok took control. They fought up the Ramp where Gail kicked Havok closer and closer to the edge of the Stage, she then ran attempted to Kick her off the stage, Havok grabbed Gail’s foot then threw Gail off the stage instead. To which Tenay says “she threw her off the stage …. what a monster!”

Despite the fact Gail tried her best to Kick Havok off the stage mere seconds prior… but that’s fine. Because she’s a “Good Guy” and Havok beats her up.

What?

Winds me up!

wind up complain

Everyone rushes to Gail’s aid, but yet she continues! Usual crap.

What wasn’t usual was Havok throwing Gail from her shoulders face first onto the Steps. That looked painful… and awesome.

I was expecting Gail to pull off an upset, which I would have hated. But Havok kept toying with her, to which I fully expected Gail to take advantage of. Same old, same old.

Thankfully Havok caught Gail finally and dropped her with a Chokeslam for the win.

Good match. While I don’t really buy into Gail’s “injury” stuff, so therefore I wasn’t exactly rooting for her, but it was a good match. I just wanted Havok to win. I found Gail wasn’t constantly selling the abuse she took, which did stand out a little to me. But who cares.

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MVP vs. Bobby Roode – World Heavyweight Championship

You know how I started this with “Roode looks good with the Belt”. Where it doesn’t look good with his horrible crappy plastic pimp coat.

It looked good with his Robe. Why ditch the Robe?

Robe or nothing. Wear a T-shirt to the ring, that looks good too.

I have no idea why he thinks this coat is a good thing, it looks horrible.

Lashley and MVP had a little chat backstage, obviously Lashley is supposed to be annoyed that he’s not got a Re-match and MVP positioned himself into a match instead.

I’d rather it look like that yet Lashley came out and beat up Roode with MVP and it was all a plan to wear him down.

But no, MVP and Roode had a decent match which Roode won with a Roode Bomb. A straight forward, clean match.

I also still hate the name “Roode Bomb”.

Lashley then turned up and Speared Roode and left without helping MVP up. So yeah, I’m guessing their days are up.

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Although not a bad show – it’s a run of a mill type of show.

Still no word yet on a new TV Deal for TNA, and I hope things do get a little more interesting soon.

Either way, Boot Camp is entertaining and Lucha Underground has my attention.

Till then.

Dan Wilkinson

TotalNonstopRewind

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The Jobber Blogger #132 – TNA: IMPACTWRESTLING – 29/10/14

Jobber Blogger logo2How do you end up spending so much time on the Internet?

Yup, we’re going deep into thought this week, so much so that I forgot why that opening sentence was relevant.

Honestly, I don’t spend that long on the internet, not anymore. However! Starting two consecutive sentences back to back with words beginning with “H”. Yes, However, when I do spend some time on the internet, I can spend a lot of time on the internet.

Random search to research business ideas turns into looking for Marvel Mega Bloks, to find that there is such a thing of Assassins Creed Mega Bloks (mind blown with glee!… not the show!) to then go on a tangent on Ninja Turtles.

Annnd then back round again to Writing up this week’s Jobber Blogger.

It’s nearly 9pm and I feel behind. I’m not behind. But I feel it. That’s the key difference…feelings.

How do I feel?

I’m getting philosophical now. And I even spelt it right! Stick that in your jam jar!

I did get consecutive wrong though. Only by one letter, but the real question is that One Letter too many letters too much?

It could be quite possibly, possible,… be.

Impact Wrestling Logo

bluelineTNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 29/10/14

We’re into November! I nearly said Halloween… but that isn’t relevant anymore. That came and went quicker than money.

Also Deodorant.

Also spelt wrong.

I seem to be a little strange this week, but my Feet are cold and I haven’t had a really big mug of Tea with exactly 3x Sugars, a whole load of milk and some Vanilla Syrup…. drank with a straw.

Yup, that’s how I roll.

vanillasyrup

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MVP and Kenny King vs. Samoa Joe and Low Ki – Tag-Team Tournament – Semi Finals

I’m enjoying this Tag-Team tournament, yet I know some Spoilers up and coming… so I am all levels of confused.

As much as I’d like to get excited about Impact kicking off with a Match… it felt rather rushed.

Boom, match, MVP and King already in the ring. Takes away that opening “Impact” of crowd shots then Entrance Music hitting with a match gearing up. It feels like I’ve missed something when people are already in the ring for the start of the show.

What happened before? How did MVP walk out?

Am I really that interested… no…. but that’s not the point either!

Everything’s got a point!

pencil

See, and you can draw anything with a pencil.

– Well I couldn’t take it any longer and went to get some socks. And my lovely snuggly warm knitted jumper and a cup of tea. No Vanilla.

Sad times.

I feel like I should have given more of an in depth write up about the show, but I’ll just break it down as I go.

Seems to make most sense.

As far as the teams of Joe and Low-Ki and King and MVP, I couldn’t care at all. Neither of them are united as a team. I like my Tag-Teams to feel like a Team, rather than a throw together or pair up. King and MVP suit that better. But for how long?

It matters not as Joe and Low Ki took the win. I wrote down “awesome” and something else I can’t read. My enthusiasm for this match seems to have drifted.

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Bram and Magnus had a bit of a babble. Bram stating he’s “re-writing history” and taking down the Brotherhood of Hardcore.

I like that. I prefer Bram already to most associated with that “Brotherhood”. Also I am so sick of anything involving ECW coming round again in TNA. Done with that.

It only just wrapped with Bully and EC3 and then it’s on again with Bram – Ugh.

Devon then came out and brought out his Good Friend – Tommy Dreamer and I cared even less.

What was interesting about all of this was the wording about Bully Ray from Mike Tenay and Taz. Stating Bully is “healing up” after his recent slew of matches and will be back soon. Which means TNA haven’t paid him to work these set of tapings, but he’s not gone completely from the company. Which is good news.

Bram and Magnus vs. Devon and Dreamer. Let me write that down before I forget how much I cared about that match.

Also if Bram doesn’t win,… I’ll moan a little on my blog no one reads.

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After Years and Years of being a fan of TNA, I’m finally a fan of Shark Boy! Oh my Brother! Please keep giving me Videos of Shark Boy out of shape backstage.

Admittedly this one wasn’t as good as the first in his match against Tyrus. But Shark Boy doing a half arsed meet and greet, by himself, shoving Hotdogs in his face. Yup, I’m down with that.

Calling old woman “Old Bags” as he stumbles across for a photograph with her Grandson.

The only downside was Shark Boy being told to sort himself out. “Where’s the old Shark Boy!?” Sure it reeks of TNA’s Stone Cold turn from Heel to face, only to turn on the WWF and defect to WCW. Which was good.

I just hope we get a bit more of the out of shape Shark Boy first.

tnasharkboy

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The Beautiful People vs. Taryn Terrell and Madison Rayne

Yay for Storyline driven matches.

Is it bad that I hoped Madison would just forget about being badly treated by Angelina and just re-join the Beautiful People.

I want her back in the Beautiful People.

This dislike between the new Mum’s – Madison and Taryn is on going, only with Taryn being the face.

I’m not so keen on Taryn, I am a Madison fan though, and she’s better as a Heel. Maybe not so much of her “Queen Bee” waving gimmick.

Madison did all the tricks of being a heel, looking the other way and not tagging in, then just beating her up.

Needless to say The Beautiful People won. I am liking a fued within the Knockouts though which isn’t situated around the Knockouts Championship.

beautifulpeople

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Ethan Carter the Third and Tyrus vs. The Hardyz – Tag-Team Tournament – Semi Finals

I didn’t make any notes, only on who won and how they won.

I look at The Hardyz as the Favourites and also as the losers in this competition. Again, lifelong fan of the Hardyz, love them to bits. But. They’ve lost to the Wolves… once just in a Tag-Team Match, and then during the Tag-Team Series.

So really, if they won, why would that matter? The Wolves will probably beat them again.

This is the thing with this Tournament. Who is really a Tag-Team. I like the entry of everyone in the Tournament, but none of them are a fully fledged “Tag-Team”. Not anymore.

The Bromans – Robbie E and Jesse. They are.

The Wolves.

The Menagerie (sort of).

That’s it.

Hardyz, Team 3D – don’t really count. They sort of drift around and not always on the main roster.

I want a Tag-Team. With their own Entrance theme, matching attire, a proper Tag-Team.

Not Magnus and Joe. Not EC3 and Tyrus, enough of that.

I want a Beer Money, a Motor City. TNA needs more “Tag-Teams” not just teams put together.

The Hardyz took the Win on Tyrus. Despite them being a Team for how many years? Matt went for the Cover as Jeff jumped for the Swanton. Least that’s how it looked. Seemed a rather close call where Matt nearly got splatted by his Brother due to bad timing.

I just thought it was worth mentioning, it stood out to me.

Which leaves The Hardyz vs. Joe and Low-Ki.

Should be an awesome match. I want the Hardyz to win, but I don’t think they will. Mainly because they’ve already lost once.

Who knows.

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James Storm vs. Eddie Edwards

TNA’s on-going worst Storyline since Claire Lynch continues by getting worse.

Now this isn’t to say that the Storyline is utter trash. It’s just the portrayal of it, and that it makes no sense.

James Storm doesn’t fit the role he’s in. Least not fully.

Storm was the top heel, he can build a Revolution by being who he is. This doesn’t feel like the Cowboy, this is like a weird mind controlling Texan, and it just doesn’t suit. The storyline could continue without the cheesyness of “look into my eyes” / “I will show you the light”. That’s the trash.

Have Storm be a powerful character and people gravitating to him because of that. Having shinny X-Division guys in his faction, that makes no sense.

The Wolves are really good, but convincing, they are not, especially Davey.

He’s not that great on the mic, and he being talked into Storm’s faction is worse. Putting tension between the Wolves not even a year into their TNA run is stupid.

And all of a sudden I can see massive potential in Eddie Edwards. Davey’s always stood out to me, but I do think Eddie carries himself better in all areas.

Davey kept getting spoken to by Manik and Storm through-out the match, causing the distraction for Eddie to eat the Last Call Superkick, and Davey didn’t help Eddie.

I don’t want Davey in Storms faction and I don’t want the Wolves to split. That would be incredibly annoying, especially after my rant about the lack of Credible Tag-Teams.

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Bobby Roode vs. Lashley – TNA: World Heavyweight Championship – Kurt Angle Special Guest Referee

Too Fast – would be how I described this match.

You have one chance to do Lashley right, and they missed it pretty quickly and then it’s been a downward spiral.

Lashley, fierce, dominant, goes to war on his own, wins on his own, cleanly.

MVP mouth piece, Kenny King hot head. Worked.

The second Lashley needs help in a match – ruins it.

I didn’t want MVP and King to get involved like they did previously, that made it far worse.

But Lashley was sneaking Low-Blows and Belt Shots. Which I’m not a fan of for a Champion of his caliber.

Don’t get me wrong, if Roode wouldn’t stop, and Lashley couldn’t put him down, then fair enough. But Too Fast comes into play, because it felt far too quick in the match that Lashley was trying to cheat to defeat Roode, without Roode really doing anything to show that Lashley wasn’t in control.

Also having Referees flying around the ring from the slightest of tackle and being knocked down for minutes at a time is one of Wrestling’s dumbest factors, but hey, it works. Replace that Referee with a Wrestler, who gets knocked down even more, and takes even longer to get up. That’s pathetic.

Kurt Angle – Olympic Gold Medallist – 13 time World Champion – sucks.

That’s all it tells me, he seems less injured Moon Saulting off of a 15foot Cage onto the Matt, then he does being slightly ran into by a Wrestler.

It’s all gimmicky crap that ruins what could be a really hard hitting and hard faught Match.

Also this

bobbyroodelashleytnaworldchampionNow I knew Roode was going to win anyway, again – Spoilers. But I didn’t expect him to just sit down from a Sunset Flip into a Pin and beat Lashley so easily.

At first I thought that kind of sucked, but the more I was reminded about Lashley’s Re-Match – the more that makes sense.

See that’s smart booking, Roode barely beating him, but still beating him. This gives Lashley a lot of Room to grow. Now Lashley is on the hunt, and he’s going to be fierce.

Obviously I fully expect Roode to retain, but I’m interested in this Re-match more than I was for this match.

So my favourite World Champion of Recent Memory is now World Champion again.

I’m a Bobby Roode guy through and through, I think he’s the best Professional Wrestler in the business, in terms of all round ability.

I am a Heel fan though. I don’t know if Roode’s World title reign was please me as much with him being Face. I’m sure it won’t last near half as long. Glad he’s not a One Time World Champion though like most of TNA’s roster.

He deserves to hold the belt a lot, so I’m glad he’s back in the picture and happy for him to be the Champ, looking forward to seeing where it goes.

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Another good packed show from TNA.

It’s hard to really say anything. I wasn’t super excited going in, but they put on a great show with great content.

It just feels flat all the same.

Maybe a Title Change Up is what it needs.

Until TNA get a new TV Contract sorted and announced and know where they stand with their Talent and Tapings / Live Television, TNA will continue to feel a flat.

Till then.

Dan Wilkinson.

TotalNonstopRewind

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The Jobber Blogger #131-TNA:IMPACT WRESTLING-22/10/14

Jobber-Blogger

The Jobber Blogger

It’s bad when writing TNA Wrestling as The Jobber Blogger starts to remind me of work… that’s bad right? 131! pfft! It’s not even worth the reference!

It appears that time has drifted on a little from when I started to Write this. Ahh, I’m a wonderfully strange individual. I revel in my weirdness.

So, it appears that people are happy with the current product TNA is putting out. I would like to say that I am also happy with it, they are putting on good television. However, it being taped still taints my impressions.

bootcampWho watched British Bootcamp 2 – Episode 1?

I won’t give it a full write up, but I quite liked it. Last year’s original show was a little too scripted for my liking. It didn’t feel real enough, despite their best efforts.

This time around it’s better, though still a bit odd. It’s like Wrestling meets X-Factor, only they judging panel of Samoa Joe, Gail Kim and Al Snow can pretty much make the contestants to jumping jacks and speak in different languages. OR ELSE!

The “reality” side of the show actually feels more real, so that is a bigger bonus, plus having Spud as a host, Joe, Gail and Snow as judges and also participating, gives the show that much needed credibility edge.

I won’t pretend like I remembered everyone’s name, but the one who stood out to me the most was the Red headed girl. I suppose her hair was rather striking and I have thing for Red Hair.

But I digress.

Nikki Storm (needs a name change), I liked her attitude, and also hated her attitude. It works for a persona, not for a person. Norm, or whatever he was called was easily the top guy there, so glad he’s going through. But I was most impressed with the Red Headed girl, I thought she carried herself well in the ring, perhaps more “shy” than the other two, but I was most impressed with what we saw of her in-ring work than anyone else. So I am glad she’s there. Plus awesome that so far the women are dominating.

I like that.

Impact Wrestling Logo

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TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 22/10/14

Oh how wonderful life is, when your favourite Wrestling show kicks off with Matt Hardy.

For those who have been reading this long enough might well remember my little rants about a Wee Young Jobber Blogger who would rush downstairs on Saturday mornings at 10am to catch WWF Smackdown on Sky1, in all of it’s edited for morning television glory.

What felt like every week was Smackdown kicking off with the Hardyz, and I loved it. So to have Matt still sticking around in TNA in 2014 and kicking off Impact with a Tag-Team Tournament with both himself and Jeff. Yup, I’m one happy fan!

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The Hardyz vs. DJZ and Jesse

It is a little odd having DJZ and Jesse together without Robbie E. I can see DJZ actually fitting this role of a Broman better without either Robbie E and Jesse and finding someone more “hip” styled rather than Jersey styled.

Jesse works best with Robbie, and actually I think Robbie is awesome on his own.

Little by little, DJZ is creeping up on my favourites list, I’m still not entirely there, but I’m getting there. A huge, vast improvement from the days of Zema Ion with silly hair and hair spray with ridiculous attire. He suits this much better.

The Tag-Teams dominated this week’s Impact, and I have no problem with that. Though I do get a little sick of throw together story developing Tag-Team matches, I love Tag-Team matches with actual Tag-Teams.

So a tournament is right up my alley, and having The Hardyz kick it off with a Win. It’s like going back in time. What a wonderful thing nostalgia is right?

Blind Tag – Twist of Fate – Swanton Bomb – Hardyz pick up the win.

tnahardyz

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Low Ki and Samoa Joe vs. Samuel Shaw and Gunner

Speaking of throw together tag-team matches purely to further Story development. We got this match.

I’m unsure of where to stand on it. Like all kinds of on air friendships in Wrestling, they must BY LAW end up turning on each other with a video package stating how close they once were.

RoodeEyBrothers

The interesting dynamic here is Brittany, and more to the point the pairing of Shaw and Brittany, I like that idea.

Clearly Shaw was going to turn on Gunner, it just seemed to happen a little too sudden. A tiny backstage segment between Shaw and Brittany, which was the first we’ve actually seen them together in as any kind of friends.

I suppose this will evolve out into Anderson getting back involved maybe. Who knows.

Brittany grabbed Gunner’s leg who then fell victim to a kick from Low Ki right back into the clutches of Samoa Joe for the choke victory.

Then Shaw went to town on Gunner with a chair.

That right there is the money shot, I’ve never seen that side of Shaw or perhaps anyone sell beating down a guy with a chair as sadistically and deranged like Shaw did to Gunner.

I liked it a lot.

And then the unnecessary make-out rolling around the ring between Shaw and Brittany. Least they literally rolled over Gunner, which made that worth watching from an entertainment perspective.

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Rebel was set to do battle with someone. I don’t remember. Did we even know? Could it have been Madison?

Havok then decided to come out and beat up Rebel. You know, taking out the threats. Like Rebel.

Yes, that is a joke.

HAHA!

Was there really anything to get? I’m not sure, it’s getting late.

Gail Kim then made her return with an injured arm, her own arm that was injured, of course. She didn’t just turn up with some severed arm. That would have been most unexpected.

gail arm

Gail took the fight to Havok and then the TNA guys in the back (and Earl Hebner) had to rush out to break up this fight. How many times have we seen this? I thought the days of security breaking up fights were over, but it appears not.

I suddenly miss D’Lo.

Also why is Earl Hebner always there? He never actually breaks up the fight, he just walks back and forth observing.

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Bram vs. Devon – Hardcore Match

This was scheduled earlier on in the night, but it didn’t go according to plan. Nope guess what, they had a brawl, and the TNA security (and Earl Hebner) ran out to break it up… and pace back and forth…. respectively.

Kurt booked the match, and here we have it. Bram trying to make a name for himself by picking on Hardcore Hall of Famers, now that sounds like a Reality Show waiting to happen… although it might not be about what we would hope… or maybe it is. Maybe the viewer would be the one disappointment.

tnahalloffame

All of this is to continue to build on the foundations of Bram’s success against Abyss, making him a big star, and also the contrast that places between Bram and Magnus… despite the physical contrast.

bramandmagnus

In the end it was in fact Magnus who got involved and attacked Devon from outside the ring which led to Bram picking up the victory. I’m sure this will become “I didn’t need your help to win” territory in no time, and of course right on time for the “They were once like Brothers!” Video package and inevitable grudge match.

bramandmagnus copy

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Mr. Anderson and Chris Melendez vs. MVP and Kenny King

It does amuse me at how little of a beating guys get in a Tag-Team match to make them need to tag out in no time, yet in a singles match, that’s just a scratch.

Anderson was beaten down and controlled though-out the majority of the match, but finally got the Tag to “Sarge”.

See, Melendez is very impressive, I get it. I think he seemed a bit better this week. But he can pull off some amazing sights given his condition, it’s awesome. But then, it’s also given his condition, which makes it a weird kind of territory to be in.

Thankfully the right team won as King had a sneaky roll up with trunks for the Win.

Right after the match however The Wolves did one of the worst “fake” promos I’ve ever seen followed by James Storm doing one of the worst promo’s I’ve ever seen by trying to convince Davey Richards to join his revolution.

I’m sure nothing will come of Storm’s strange medusa prowess on Richards, but say if it did…. it’s only a matter of time before issues between The Wolves began to surface. Then they’d be forced to run the “They Were Once Like Brothers!” Video Package and inevitable grudge match.

Yay for Tag-Teams! gunnerandshawandanderson

Shame this dream will never come true =(

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Ethan Carter the Third and Tyrus vs. Eric Young and Rockstar Spud

EC3 laid out the challenge earlier on in the night to Spud, but it was EC3 who did his best to get Spud fired up for this match.

Spud had his old music again, which was pretty awesome, it’s a cool theme. Only now it meets with his Chief of Staff intro.

It appears as though Spud is now full throttle Face.. another good T-shirt idea.

A new movement of “I’m With Spud”, which isn’t quite how a movement works.

I was under the impression that a movement was something that naturally got started. Now Spud has been gaining a following, but TNA put out the “I’m With Spud” T-shirt quite a while ago. Yes people cheer for him, and yes he’s being turned Face, but that doesn’t make it a movement. The fact your telling me it’s a Movement, which also happens to coincide with the merchandise your trying to sell, makes me think it’s not a Movement at all and your trying to market it to me.

Tyrus pulled out a “Heart Punch” which incidentally was made famous from old school Pro Wrestler – Ox Baker.

I won’t pretend like I knew that before watching this match, but it turns old Ox ol’Pal was in Escape from New York – which just happens to be one of my favourite movies of all time! So big kudos, much respect and RIP!

Spud did an awesome Flip from the Top Rope, then lost the match by being Chokeslammed by Tyrus.

Looking forward to seeing where Spud goes from here and I actually hope Tyrus sticks around.

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TNA ended on the Contract Signing between Bobby Roode and Bobby Lashley for Match #2.

All night there was this big “surprise” which was being thrown around by TNA and Kurt backstage. Just turned out to be that Kurt has made himself the Special Guest Referee.

Which really isn’t all that exciting. Special Ref’s usually are a waste of time. However on the odd occasion having a good “authorities” figure in the ring can make for a memorable match.

I really hope Roode vs. Lashley #2 Delivers.

I’m looking forward to watching it next week.

A good solid Impact, lots of lovely Tag-Team Wrestling and a good show set up for next week!

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson

TotalNonstopRewind

TheJobberBlogger

TheSteelChair

StrikeTapandGrapple

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

www.cageamateursuk.com

THE JOBBER BLOGGER #127 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 1/10/14

Jobber-Blogger

The Jobber Blogger

So yeah, let’s talk about that Elephant in the Room huh? Yes, it’s late, I am fully aware. I do apologise for the lateness of this week’s issue, and last week’s, but hey, I’m a little later this week. I’ve not been this late since I worked Part-Time – yup, do the math on that.

math

I don’t do math.

I could go on and on about why I didn’t get the time to Write this up till Wednesday night, but that doesn’t matter. What does matter is TNA: Impact Wrestling, so let’s get to that shall we?

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TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 1/10/14

Holy Cheese Nips – Bound for Glory is this Sunday. How crazy is that? It felt like it was ages away, hell it feels like nothing – at – all has been done for this PPV on Television. Aside from James Storm / Sanada / Muta there is nothing more. And that Story has been a B-Story at best running “here and there” in the background, now it’s the main event on the biggest show of the year. Awesome.

Still, I’m looking forward to Bound for Glory – if for nothing more than being up to date with TNA, I can’t explain how much I hate pre-taped Wrestling Television.

It’s all about the here and now, and that was a Month ago. Okay sure, that was an exaggeration, but you get the drift.

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Austin Aries vs. Samoa Joe – X-Division Championship

Aries kicked off the show to talk about what Championship he was going to Challenge for. That’s right, an Entire episode of Impact was to determine this position. Aries just rambling on is enough to bring out Samoa Joe who (now get this) Challenges Austin Aries.

Yeah that happened.

Aries battles through this tournament to get this great opportunity – to then be challenged himself by a Champion rather than the other way round and lose.

This just makes it feel more like a House Show.

The idea of Joe vs. Aries is exciting, because Joe vs. Aries #1 back in 2012 was the second best match that year. However this meeting of Joe and Aries – though good, not nearly as good.

I suppose I am a little biased when it comes to Aries, but really, you don’t need to be, because he backs it up himself. Aries, as per usual was on fire, on point and brilliant.

I guess I would have enjoyed the match a little more should Aries have taken the win. But I can’t argue. Least they’re letting Aries beat everyone to get shots lately, they seem to be putting him in the right places.

Both Aries and Joe struggled to get this promo off the ground for the two of them to do battle, but in the end, it didn’t really matter.

Which would have been much better if Joe came out to blab for no reason and Aries just walked out and discus elbowed him in the face – Bam – Match – Challenge set and accepted. As it was Aries went for the Last Chancery and was instead caught by Joe’s rear naked choke for the Win.

Though I can’t argue with a great solid match to kick off the show. Though I will whine, a lot.

A lot.

whine

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Eric Young vs. Ethan Carter the Third

The main story here is EC3 and Spud. Last week it was built that there were “issues” between the two, and this week cemented it.

EC3 gave Spud a good heel speech of “in what world, would we be friend?” then ruined his jacket.

This is obviously to build Spud as a face. Here is the problem.

It’s been there done that territory again, I think it always will be with Wrestling. People really like Spud, and that’s because he’s great in the Role he’s in. Making him face changes that role, and people care less. It always happens. People love Heels, Spud isn’t trying to be a “heel” but making him a face would alter his response from the crowd.

However he was extremely good at getting the Sympathy vote. So it might work, least for a short amount of time. Like Joseph Park.

EY who was set to fight EC3 later in the match came out to stand up for Spud, and thus the match took place.

Spud (reluctantly) helped EC3 win.

EC3 works well as a Heel, Spud works well being a naive heel manager. I think he’s capable of doing a good run as a Face, I just don’t think it will be the same. Time will tell. But sooner rather than later, Spud will turn on EC3.

Though now I’ve said that, I will probably be wrong… I hope I am.

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Do you know what Annoyed me the most about this week’s Impact. It was the unnecessary “conflict” placed into the Tag-Team Series.

The Wolves with their “Wolves Nation” (which is a horribly bad name), decided to blab on about being a Good Tag-Team. That people didn’t think they were up to much. Let’s be fair, they did lose two matches straight.

Plus they’ve barely defended the Tag-Belts.

Still, it was a speech I didn’t need to hear. Of course this only got worse with Team 3D being un-characteristically negative. Sure Bully and Devon have probably played Heels more than Faces, especially Bully. But right now, their position in the Company is not to be big headed egotistical bad-guys all of a sudden. “You’ll never be as good as us, that’s just fact” – no offense to the Wolves, but they are probably right.

It was just un-needed. This was only to become worse with The Hardyz getting involved. Who not only blabbed on at Team 3D with yet another “history talk”, but they too downgraded the Wolves by stating how less they are in comparison. Another un-characteristic speech. Plus Jeff screamed about something I could have done without.

In the end they all end up brawling and this brings out the weapons which makes for the Full Metal Mayhem announcement.

I think everyone was fairly sure where this was going, they did re-create the old TLC announcement, only with “Tables, Ladders, Chairs…. Full Metal Mayhem!” which, whatever, I don’t care anymore.

Either way, this will take place next week, and I guarantee it’s the Match of the Year. Least I’m hoping it will be, I can’t wait for it.

I just think there must be a much cleverer way to get these guys to have disagreements and fight, without it being cheap, meaningless and let’s be honest, silly.

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Manik (w/James Storm) vs. Shark Boy

Good ol Filler Shark Boy is back this week. I do like Shark Boy, but he’ll always be the one you don’t take seriously. But I love the parody, I revel in it.

Manik looking like a sleek super-hero AJ Styles – and also much less menacing then he used to, squashed Shark Boy with ease.

I like the idea, I don’t get how rough and tough scruffy Cowboy – James Storm, beer bottle in hand and giant Beer, works with sleek looking shiny attired Luchardor styled Wrestlers. I don’t see that match, but I don’t hate it.

Come on Tigre-Uno.

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MVP (w/Kenny King) vs. Mr. Anderson (w/Chris Melendez)

Anderson who gave a pep talk to Melendez about sticking up for yourself, fighting these guys back, proving your ground. Then went into battle for him instead.

So not only is Melendez weak, incapable, but he needs people to do things for him too. I’m sorry, wasn’t this guy a tough, mean, driven War Hero who wouldn’t back down. Rather than someone who needs so much help and support.

It makes me like him less and less. I’d only like him more at this point if Anderson punched him in the face. Is that bad?

Kenny got involved on the Apron, Melendez pulled him down, Anderson distracted, MVP roll up – Win.

Meh.

Bobby Roode came out to do his yearly “I’ve been home and had time to re-think my career” speech. A Trend James Storm started which AJ Styles did, and Roode has done it twice if not Three Times now.

Roode decided he’s only as good as his last match and Challenges Lashley to one more match – because he knows he can beat him.

MVP answered for him by saying No. That’s pretty much it.

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Gail Kim vs. Havok – Knockouts Championship

Gail Kim and Havok had a fight earlier in the night, you knew something was up because Gail didn’t get the second entrance, she was attacked by Havok, who then threw her into the Ring Post and slammed onto the Floor “injuring her shoulder”.

Gail then did a terrible promo of being injured and demanding to Wrestle whilst Kurt Angle did an equally terrible job of acting alongside her. It was awful, like some weird low-budget porn.

Gail and Kurt

Gail still didn’t get the Champion entrance on the second time round, but I am extremely happy the Knockouts got to Main Event Impact.

I do like Havok, she is growing on me more and more, but I don’t yet see her as good as perhaps some others do.

Of course she pretty much destroys Gail and Chokeslams her for the Win and becomes the new Knockouts Champion.

So much for Taryn Terrell eh.

I have no issues with this.

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A bit of a strange mash up of a Show, but certainly not a bad one.

TNA just doesn’t feel right currently. I’m expecting that to be different come next week’s Full Metal Mayhem, but how long will it last?

Bound for Glory I’m sure will be something special, I just hope TNA gets it all back on track for 2015.

Till then,

Dan Wilkinson

TotalNonstopRewind

TheJobberBlogger

TheSteelChair

StrikeTapandGrapple

TNR Cover 12 (w facebook address)

www.cageamateursuk.com