Tag Archives: Sasha Banks

Monday Night Raw #1289, February 5, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Eagles Patriots Super Bowl Football

SMASHED IT.

I gotta give WWE props, I’m sure Stephanie and Triple Teef were supporting the New England Patriots… but if they turned around and gave the Philadelphia Eagles a WWE Championship belt for their Superbowl win  – PROPS. Steph and Triple WILL NOT complain on the internet…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1289! The Royal Rumble still trending on the twitter! UNHEARD OF!

Steph RawI don’t know what Bray Wyatt is laughing about – he’s fighting Double R to qualify in the Chamber…yeah he won last year… BUT THAT WAS LAST YEAR!

That’s it fools – pull out your iPhones that you break on a regular for this LOOOOOSER! You bloody sheep!

GRANT BODY-P!

Listen to the haters cheering for Bray,,,, I would be extremely shocked if Bray wins this. Matt Hardy is watching for goodness sakes!

Double R kicks out of an instant Sister Abigail… now you know the muthaf***a ain’t winning!

Just like that, with an emphatic spear… Double R wins… go on then – complain on the internet!

Finn Balor might be the most interesting cat on the roster. This dude is not in the chamber… so I wanna know where he goes next going forward.

Oh no these Revival idiots… I hope one of em gets injured again (Actually I take that back!)

Hahahahhahahahahah Revival you B!TCH!!! Finn Balor hitting the Coup De Grace – I see you wrestling purists complaining on the internet some more! Go on – let it all out!

Not even an hour in and RAW is challenging my interest – I still have a lifeline left – Jamaica ginger cake and custard….

Cruiserweight action… sigh… I’m gonna talk to my woman…

Ok – Mandy Rose – Sasha Banks – Bayley  – Sonya Deville – and Mickie James gonna test Alexa Bliss in the Chamber!

Even better – if Nia Jax can defeat Asuka…she can go to WrestleMania too! But hear the joke – Asuka hasn’t decided who she’s facing yet!

WHOA! Alexa just put Kurt Angle on BLAST! How come Brock doesn’t have to defend his title in the Chamber!!! She should be ‘Brock’s equal’ in terms of gender equality! Er Alexa… you might wanna check Brock’s contract! It’s NOT THE SAME AS YOURS!

Last time I check, Bayley got hurt crazy when she had her NXT match with Asuka… what makes her think she can beat Asuka now?

This is one of those RAW episodes where it is very wrestling driven… not much storyline build. Don’t be surprised if I find my bed halfway through.

So let’s do the knowledge – Kurt believes Asuka will fight Alexa at WM34. But Asuka nah say nuttin… Nia WON’T win her match against Asuka, but her performance will find her in the match at WrestleMania anyway. Sasha is likely to win to advance to WrestleMania thus, this will AT LEAST be a Triple Threat match.

Asuka made quicker work of Bayley than she did with Sasha I can say that much…

HOLD UP! The Miz Vs Apollo Crews – winner goes to the Chamber? COME ON APOLLO!!! This could be HUGE!

I am tired as a muthaf***a people… this wrestling sh!t is boring me… are you sure you guys want pure wrestling on your screen? I’m gonna eat this pudding, and then find my bed – I’ve been watching Nicole Snow and Sophia Lares on Edd’s favourite channels during this wrestling sh!t… word up!

God damnit… not even Black History month could save Apollo Crews… well at least we get to see The Miz get BUSS ARSE in the Chamber!

Look pon this… Jason Jordan can’t compete… but at least he found a suitable replacement… DOUBLE R!!!!

What I don’t understand is… why is Jason Jordan at ringside? I mean, unless the Bar were being teef which I don’t think they were – he doesn’t need to be out there!

His intentions were good but he got ketch by the ref!!!! You baited it up for The Shield YOU FOOL!!!! As much of a loose cannon Ambrose is, he wouldn’t have struck The Bar in front of the referee?!

Wait a minute – since when were we watching Live Wire? or Velocity, or even Wrestling Challenge??? I didn’t know that no name jobber were still a thing for Nia Jax? have the creative team gone on holiday or something? I know it’s Black History Month/J Dilla season but…

Nia Jax wants to disfigure Asuka! NO!!! I mean… can’t they come to some mutual agreement?

I hope Mickie James hasn’t broken Sonya Deville’s nose!!! Look how fine Sonya is – come on Mickie – stop this wrestling nonsense and GET IN THAT TONGUE!GRANT MARKIES BARNERS

GRANT BODY-P!

Maybe Alexa Bliss wants to get in that tongue of Mickie! Yeah I’m scratching my head too – Absolution was gonna beat down Mickie, and Alexa saved her clart??? Mickie is looking at Alexa like – A WHA DE???

If you jabronies hated the Prince fiasco at the Superbowl and complained on the internet about it, maybe you would rather walk with Elias instead? He would have done great at the Halftime joint?!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Imagine! Elias in the Raw main event, and he combines his force with John Cena to take out the Monster Among Men…

Don’t ask me how he did it… (well I do I just watched it) but Elias will enter last in the Chamber by defeating the worn out Cena after he took a powerslam from Braun Strowman!

So er.. yeah, it was a RAW with plenty wrestling action. not much storyline and jokes… and that sort of sh!t bores me…

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Monday Night Raw #1280, December 4, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

F**k talking about WWE right now, it was wack last week. Like Matt Hardy, DELETE LAST WEEK’S BLODCLART!

GRANT BODY-P!

RePPiN4U Overeem

Let’s talk about the YOU – EFF – CEE! Holy smokes! It was a lot better than the card on paper word up. Michelle Waterson & Tecia Torres – OWWWWWW! You two would get it. They opened the show, good fight. Then Alvarez Vs Gaethje SMASHED IT. Gaethje had the match won, but Alvarez… MAXIMUM RESPECT to him. Let’s skip the third fight because let’s be real, they knew they couldn’t follow that match. Then Overeem Vs Ngannou – The Sean Price Punch heard around the world – GOOD LORD! Sean Price would be so proud! Even I turned it into a meme! I DON’T MAKE MEMES! And Max Holloway Vs Jose Aldo… I like Aldo but he was outclassed here…

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RAW 1280! EXCITE ME! HAVE STEPHANIE SUFFER A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION! LET XAVIER WOODS INVADE RAW DURING PAIGE’S MATCH DO SOMETHING!

Steph Raw

Survival kit: Spicy Black pepper crisps, Jaffa Cakes and Drinking chocolate… do you think that’s smart on my part???

And the booing has begun against Jason Jordan! I’m waiting for the crowd to start showing signs saying ‘Die Jason Die’!

I see someone in the crowd with a ‘Paige Marry Me’ sign…you sir have no taste in women, she is a dutty whore, she gives her pu$$y away, and well, if you want to contract aids I guess that’s up to you!

Well Double R did tell Jason Jordan to step up and take the opportunity! And Double J responded with a belly to belly to Double R! I guess NOW he has the big dog’s attention!

Gotta say Jason Jordan is GOING IN against Double R!

Look at Samoa Joe doing the knowledge! Aaaah man!

I’m telling you right now – This Jason Jordan dude – if he keeps this sh!t going – he gonna be champion in 18 months time. This match kinda reminds me of The Rock Vs Kurt Angle back in 2000 and The Rock put him over… you see what I’m saying?

Oh no! Samoa Joe gonna finish the job on a mash-up Double R but Jason Jordan intervened with a suplex to Samoa Joe! But why did Double R drop superman punch to Jordan? Oh yeah – he’s not a good guy, he’s not a bad guy, he’s THE GUY!

GRANT BODY-P!

WHAT A LYRIC! “Like Father Like Son right Kurt?!” Oh snap! making reference to the TNA days!

This ugly rarse… I hope Sasha Banks busses up her clart… but while Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville are at ringside… I’m not sure Sasha can win… unless Mickie James and Bayley steps in… and remember now – they haven’t troubled Nia Jax… or Asuka!

Oh snap! Sasha has brought her back up so that there is no teefing! The girl who is nice to look at but an ugly attitude – Yes I’m talking about Alexa Blitch – is on commentary. I just want Absolution to rush Alexa and beat up her blodclart!

COME ON SASHA! Kick down this b!tch! Talking about its ‘her house’ but you’re THE BOSS LADY! You represent HIP HOP! Don’t let Snoop Dogg be disappointed that you lost to someone who likes death metal!

Damnit! Sasha hit the Bank Statement but Paige reached the ropes! Absolution was ready to teef but Mandy and Sonya were still too strong! Paige recovers and drops the Ram-Paige – BLAOW!

I never noticed this but Sonya – you got no t!tt!£$! You got two backs! Oh no! Well you are getting that WWE money now – upgrade a cup size!

GRANT BODY-P!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ELIAS!!! For the first time – he made me laugh! He told Kurt Angle to put away his cell phone and hold his applause until he has finished! What if that was a McMahon on the phone!

Wicked wow – watch out now – Machine Gun Kelly is performing at Tribute To The Troops… well I won’t be watching that sh!t – CALLING KEVIN OWENS! SORT HIM OUT!

WTF?????? Nia Jax wants a piece of Enzo Amore? WHAT IS THIS? No no no this is not allowed! Shad get in there DO SOMETHING!

NIA SELFIE

You know Shad gonna have MAJOR BEEF with Kevin Dunn & creative now!

Suddenly I’m not interested in this cruiserweight match – I wanna know wha’gwarn with Nia and Enzo! HAHAHA this is gonna be great!

That’s the second time Elias has made me laugh! Did he just point out Machine Gun Kelly and say –‘no one knows who you are’?! FANTASTIC! Respect points gone up!

OH NO! I don’t think Braun Strowman likes that tune! BRAAUUUUUUUUUN!!!!

Elias run garne!!!! Wait there – maybe not – what was he thinking attacking Strowman from behind?

He busted his guitar over Strowman and it had no effect! That time he tried to run and he got ketch! Running powerslam – BLAOW!

I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!

HOLD UP – My hero Kane is back! His crushed larynx has recovered!

He says they gonna clash next week… but where’s the stipulation at? Buried alive? Inferno? Even Mike Cole is asking!

Is Alicia Fox ready for Asuka? I dunno… she isn’t all there in her head!

The real question is – Is Asuka ready for the Infamous Informer?? Hey Asuka – Wait til you see my Heihachi Mishima sword!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh no – these three idiots again… and it hurts me to say that about Sonya and Mandy…

They gonna kill Foxy! Ah well… I’m gonna miss her…GRANT WWDJC2

Paige loves Alicia… NO YOU DON’T…

Alicia – your legs did not run like last time! They turned into jelly and sh!t!

“The ramblings of a mad man…” I can’t believe Bray Wyatt said that about #Woken Matt Hardy… what de rarse?!!!! So hold up – he’s gonna delete Bray Wyatt? He might as well – Wyatt ain’t done sh!t!

GRANT BODY-P!

Apologies for not writing about the Tag Team Championship main event… I’m just waiting for the finish…

Sheamus TEEEEEEF! The Shield had the match won! But Sheamus deliberately got The Bar disqualified! But Kurt said – NOT SO EASY! YOU MUST RESTART! Now it’s a NO DQ match! That fool Booker-T doesn’t agree – but they ARE THE BAR right?

Samoa Joe – TEEF!!! He attacked The Shield for no reason! Double R came down to even the odds but by then it was already too late!

A better effort than last week… well done guys, still not up there with recent weeks, but put it this way – I didn’t find my bed halfway through…

 

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Monday Night Raw #1210, August 1, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

sasha champion

…And NEW!!! WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION WOMEN’S CHAMPION, SASHA BANKS!

Never mind Charlotte come over here for consolation… take out my majestic member, put it between your wet lips… and suck!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news… shout out to Lillan Garcia.

She won’t be in effect anymore because her father got hit with the cancer. She gotta stay close to him, as we all would with our loved ones.

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RAW 1210! THIS BLOG IS ONLY BUILT 4 CUBAN LINX! COMPLAINING @$$ WRESTLING FANS NEED NOT APPLY! HAND IN YOUR WRESTLING CARD!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

It’s like Sasha is Ice Cube and Charlotte is DEEBO, remember Next Friday? Right at the beginning Deebo breaks out of jail and screams at Ice Cube – THIS IS THE REMATCH! Well this is what’s gonna happen THE SUMMERSLAM!

Oh snap – so Charlotte DID break Nikki Bella record! How come it wasn’t acknowledged properly! Why? Because WWE was taking shots at AJ Lee which in effect was taking shots at CM Princess Peach B!tch!

Now JERICHO – Why you defending Charlotte like that??? What – she your new crush now? I don’t quite understand this?

Jericho dissing Hip Hop – unforgivable! Enzo Amore must come and defend real hip hop! GET HIM ENZO!

Enzo want a piece of Sasha! All you wrestling fools get back in line! Enzo upgraded from Carmella to Sasha! BACKSIDE!GRANT BODY PHENOM

The question remains – we are in a new era right? And women are treated like the men up in here, so… do the women (in this case Sasha & Charlotte) wrestle Jericho & Enzo? Answers on a postcard please – tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

Dana Brooke – TEEEEEEEEF!!!! Charlotte gets the win – but the real winner is Jericho – look at him with his arms round Charlotte and Dana as he retreats from Big Cass after the match – if I was Jericho I’d be on that ‘taster’s choice’ like Big Pun… Oh I forgot – Jericho is not a Hip Hop fan so he wouldn’t know anything about that!

GRANT BODY-P!

Right wrestling fools – Brie Bella won Best Female Athlete at the Teen Choice Awards – keyword – TEEN. You wrestling fools are NOT TEENS. You are grown men. So stop your complaining! STUPID IDIOT!

Say word??? Mark Henry gonna be the WWE Ambassador for the Rio Olympics? He gonna re-open the Hall Of Pain? RECORD SKIP – Foley gonna throw him in a title match against Rusev? Just like that???? Wrestling purists – I don’t wanna hear your noise – your way of wrestling storylines BORES ME!

GRANT BODY-P!

Golden Truth – f*k outta here with that Pokemon Go sh!t I hope the Shining Stars beat you! Grown adults killing themselves running after stupid teddies and sh!t – GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE! Get lick down by a bus, fall off a cliff – all sorts of sh!t!

F**KINHELL THIS ENTRANCE!!!! Make Finn Balor the face of WWE AND DUN! The fans ain’t feeling the dude Reigns – THIS IS THE MAN RIGHT HERE! Er not you Rollins – even though you are a bad man too!

Seth makes a great point – this is the first face of NXT Vs Greatest face of NXT! This should be a fantastic contest at Summerslam!

Massive shout out to Lana & Rusev on their wedding! Lana loves the wedding dress so much she had to wear it on RAW! $75,000 for the dress?!!!! BACKSIDE!!!!! That US Title money is serious!!!

Shout out to STC’S Edmond Mulhall – I heard he is distraught over Lana being a married woman…dude – just shake Rusev hand and say well done – I did with Jimmy USO!

NO WAY! Rusev running down the Americans saying they rigged the Olympic games! That time the Russians have been banned from olympics!

Roman Reigns wants to test him! But hear the twist – the fans are CHEERING for Reigns! See now we know – it;s confirmed – as long as Reigns is nowhere near the title picture, they will cheer Reigns! As long as Reigns doesn’t talk, they will cheer him! I guess if it’s good for Cena it is good for Reigns! THE GRANT SAYS – PUNISHMENT!!!!!!

Wait a minute – I thought Darren Young was a Smackdown guy? Ah forget it – let me get my ice cream for when Nia Jax fine self comes out… YEAH I SAID IT!

GRANT BODY-P!

Sheamus & Cesaro must compete, winner could have a future title match opportunity… I can see the Cesaro section assuming the position with their palms at the ready wrapped around their todger!

Why is Ariel Munroe rolling her eyes at Nia Jax? LISTEN – You are not very good-looking love… you favor one of those ‘Felicia’ type women… be grateful the Infamous Informer acknowledged you!

This is the part where The New Day lose to the Bullet Club, then Bullet Club become #1 contenders for the titles…

Instead of stating the obvious, let me take this time to tell wrestling fans – yeah you experts in the glasses and white coats – RAW is NEVER going back to 2 hours anytime soon – The Cruiserweight Division soon come to dazzle fans with their high paced action. So STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT NOW!

TWIST! The New Day won the match, but they got destroyed by the Bullet Club for their actions! The question remains – do the Bullet Club still become #1 contenders???? Whichever the case – New Day goose cook – their Booty-Os and gay innuendos are coming to haunt them!

I’m gonna get heat for this but – f**k the Cesaro section! I like Cesaro… who doesn’t? I hate the section. For that – I’m backing Sheamus – he got Iron Clad respect from me – he’s in that elite club with Batista and Enzo Amore!

OK I hold my hands up – Cesaro section gets the win! Well done kid – you are responsible for the Cesaro internet section bussin their nuts all over the keyboard!

GRANT BODY-P!

What the F**K is Jinder Mahal doing back???? Where Rhyno at? GORE this sumb!tch straight to TNA!

TWIST! Jinder Mahal just kicked Heath Slater in his jaw bone! Kicked his ticket to RAW! WOW! Mick Foley laid it down – Mahal & Slater had to fight for that spot! So now – Mahal is on RAW, Rhyno is on Smackdown… Heath – seriously – TNA is waiting for you…

No doubt Seth Rollins Vs Sami Zayn will be a great contest – but really and truly I’m not interested – I’ll speak when Brock Lesnar comes on…

HAHAHA I see you Roy Lucier, complaining about Puff Daddy appearing on RAW next week… look Roy – our favourite hip hop artists ain’t never gonna grace a WWE ring – oh wait… BUSTA RHYMES did back in 2002…

1318 - busta_rhymes celebrity laughing smackdown wwe

OH WELL – GRANT BODY-P!

The ruler of the BROCKTAGON! I LOVE IT!!! But he got caught with the drugs – allegedly…

Heyman speaks the truth – the New Era has to step up to BRRROCCCK LESSSNAR! He broke the streak – you will bow down!!!!!

Heyman’s killer promos are second nature – but he slipped up big time! He said that Randall will NEVER hit an RKO at Brock Lesnar – and he said it repeatedly but then literally – an RKO OUT OF NOWHERE – BLAOW!!!!! Heyman’s face! In shock just like it was at WrestleMania 30! Stephanie bex! Sends security after Randall! Randall on top of the stairs – spreading his arms out! OH LAWWWD – Randall gonna pay for this I will assure you!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

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